#rob and Laura Petrie

[omjitskailay]

Arcadia is so much funnier if you realize that the Dick Van Dyke show was a hugely popular tv show from thirty years ago, so its like if two agents today went undercover as Fox and Dana Scully but were like "we pronounce it Schooley"

[gaycrouton]

The fact that Mulder was the one who chose their undercover names in Arcadia, and instead of choosing something silly from Plan 9 or Star Trek, he named them after one of the most prolific married couples in television history — a couple known for their chemistry 💕 He loves her.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Arcadia (6x15)

When Cami was growing up, she’d always dreamed of having a close-knit community. She wanted to find an Ethel Mertz to her Lucy Ricardo, a neighbor she could share everything with as their families grew alongside each other. She wanted to leave her doors unlocked at night knowing that an Andy Taylor was out there keeping them safe.

Her dreams were a sitcom, but her reality was a creature feature that would have Robert Stack scratching his head.

Everyone in the neighborhood lived in fear, wrought with an anticipatory dread that made coming home feel suffocating. Whenever she was able to socialize with her friends, it felt like every conversation was laden with doublespeak—survival tactics shared using the language of a Better Homes and Gardens catalog.

So while she was excited about getting to spend time with her new neighbor, that enthusiasm was inextricably marred by the pity she felt knowing that moving into The Falls was the worst decision the Petries could have made.

“It sounded like you were making fun of him.”

The thin wood of the front door muffled a feminine voice, and Cami nearly jumped when she realized the Petries were waiting on the porch. She started moving closer to the door to let them in, but the realization that they hadn’t knocked or rang the doorbell yet made her hand freeze over the doorknob.

“I was simply asking about the cultural influences of his home decor, Laura,” the man replied, emphasizing his wife’s name with a lilt.

“I can’t remember, was that before or after you pulled me onto your lap, Rob?” she replied with the same pointed inflection.

“Hey, that was an accident. I said I was sorry,” Rob replied, his tone losing some of the joviality it previously held. “It’s not my fault his shitty Pier 9 furniture sinks in the middle. Besides, I could just as easily say that you chose to sit on my lap.”

The mention of Pier 9 caused Cami to frown as she realized who they were talking about. If Laura was right and Rob had been making fun of Gene, that wasn’t going to turn out well.

“In your dr-” 

Whatever Laura was about to say was cut off as Cami opened the door, revealing Rob leaning into Laura, their faces so close that Cami might have assumed they were kissing—if not for the tense whispering she’d just overheard.

The sound of the door opening seemed to startle them, but Rob’s arm swiftly made its way around Laura’s waist and all traces of their spat disappeared from the couple’s expressions.

“I heard the people of The Falls were polite, but having a sixth sense so your guests don’t even have to lift a hand to knock is a new level of hospitality,” Rob joked.

Cami offered them an embarrassed smile as she began unlocking the screen door. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything, I thought I heard something and wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

The couple thanked her as they entered the home and stood in the anteroom as she ensured both doors were locked again. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you. Getting this house and moving in has just rekindled all these feelings of domesticity for us. Laura hasn’t been able to keep her hands-”

Mottled blotches of crimson started to mar the woman’s face as she put her hand on her husband’s abdomen to interrupt him, only to quickly retract it as if she didn’t want to confirm his comment. “Rob, I’m sure Mrs. Schroeder doesn’t want to hear-”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Cami chuckled, amused by the couple’s antics. “I think it’s wonderful that coming to The Falls has added some excitement to your relationship.” 

The words felt wrong coming out of her mouth, and she had to resist the urge to apologize for the irony of her statement. Trying to find better wording, she added, “I mean… it’s always lovely when that newlywed feeling comes back.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Rob grinned, squeezing his wife’s arm endearingly.

“Rob just knows I’m… shy. He always loves to tease me. He’s a big joker,” Laura replied.

Cami's smile widened to hide the frown that wanted to emerge. The Klines had been the same way, always laughing, always goofing around. Joking around in The Falls was like telling a knock-knock joke in a morgue. 

She motioned with her hand for them to follow her to the den, asking over her shoulder, “So, how long has it been for you two?”

“It’ll be six years next month,” Laura answered fondly.

“Really?” Rob asked. 

Cami thought she heard a muffled, pained grunt, but when she turned around, she just saw the smiling couple. “Win’s the same way, can’t remember an anniversary to save his life. Will it be six years since you met or got married?”

Rob chuckled lightly, “Since we met, but it feels like we’ve been married just as long.”

“You two make a beautiful couple. Everyone was saying so yesterday.”

“Oh- thank you,” Laura replied. The comment seemed to take them both by surprise as Laura’s cheeks flushed in response while Rob just looked to the floor with a wistful smirk.

It was true. As Cami led them to the den, she couldn’t help but notice the way Rob and Laura complemented one another, moving together in perfect harmony—a rare reprieve from the fear and tension that had worn down so many other couples around here.

She’d longed for neighbors like them once—warm, friendly faces who seemed like genuinely kind people. But as she watched Rob and Laura hold onto each other, exchanging glances, a pit formed in her stomach. They had already joined the neighborhood’s strange, silent dance; they just didn’t know it yet.

Read the Rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own!

@gaycrouton

[mellpenscorner]

Rarepair/Underrated Couples Bingo

Jack/Sarah (Newsies) - "Man on the Run" by Colony House Ann/Joe (Roman Holiday) - "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole Phillip/Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) - "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing" by Danny Kaye Rob/Laura (The Dick Van Dyke Show) - "Sunday, Monday, or Always" by Bing Crosby Sam/Rosie (LotR) - "For the Dancing and the Dreaming" Jack/Lucy (While You Were Sleeping) - "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & The Waves

Part 2 of 4 of Musical Bingo from this playlist.

[stone-cold-groove]

Mary Tyler Moore. The Dick Van Dyke Show - 1966.

[blondebrainpowered]

The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1963

[x-files-polls]

Téa Leoni: Cute cameo and the Scully-running-in-the-background-in-heels is one of my favorite gags in the whole show

The Petries: Named after the Dick Van Dyke show. Cute couple. Wonder why they never appeared again

Don't like this propaganda? Reblog it with your own or send some in my askbox

To jog your memory, here are the episodes they're from:

Hollywood A.D.: Wayne Federman, an entrepreneurial Hollywood producer and college friend of Skinner, picks up the idea for a film based on the X-Files division, however the agents find that the level of realism in their fictional portrayal is somewhat questionable.

Arcadia: Several disappearances at an idyllic planned community lead Mulder and Scully to go undercover as a married couple. However, they soon discover that the president of the homeowners' association takes the community covenants and regulations more seriously than they could have imagined.

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

LOL Everyone in this scene is a comedic genius!! 😂😂

[kent-farm]

—The Dick Van Dyke Show, “The Redcoats Are Coming”

[exactly24bees]

Gotta love rob petrie. One of the founding wife guys for sure

[retropopcult]

Photo of the main cast of The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1962. Above: Mary Tyler Moore (Laura) and Dick Van Dyke (Rob). Lower: Morey Amsterdam (Buddy), Richard Deacon (Mel) and Rose Marie (Sally).

[velvet4510]

Obviously I haven’t seen EVERY sitcom; these are from the ones I have seen.

[hitchell-mope]

Not with the censors you don’t.

[via-fm]

obsessed with rob and laura petrie being mulder and scullys alias’ in arcadia cos i just watched that video of mary tyler moore and dick van dyke with the pool table

[blondebrainpowered]

The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1964

Episode: The Ghost of A. Chantz

GIF by always-fair-weather, ghost blog

[kissandships]

Y’all, I found a gif that perfectly encapsulates the thrill of starting a new crochet project

The Dick Van Dyke Show 3x28 - October Eve