#risks of lucid dreaming

[parkerphillips]

What is lucid dreaming?

A lucid dream is a dream in which the dreamer is aware that they are dreaming. This awareness can allow the dreamer to control the dream, or at least to observe it from a detached perspective. Lucid dreams have been reported for centuries, and there are now a number of techniques that people can use to induce them.

History of lucid dreaming

The earliest recorded mention of lucid dreaming is in the Hindu text the Upanishads, which was written around 2000 BC. The Upanishads describe a technique called "dream yoga" that was used to induce lucid dreams.

In the 19th century, the French philosopher René Descartes wrote about his own experiences with lucid dreaming. Descartes believed that lucid dreams could be used to prove the existence of the soul.

In the 20th century, the psychologist Stephen LaBerge began to study lucid dreaming scientifically. LaBerge developed a number of techniques for inducing lucid dreams, and he also developed a way to measure brain activity during lucid dreams.

Benefits of lucid dreaming

There are many potential benefits to lucid dreaming. For example, lucid dreams can be used to explore one's subconscious mind, to learn new skills, or to simply have more fun. Lucid dreams can also be used to treat nightmares and other sleep disorders.

Here are some of the benefits of lucid dreaming:

Personal growth: Lucid dreams can be used to explore your subconscious mind and learn more about yourself. You can use them to confront your fears, work through emotional issues, and develop your creativity.

Problem-solving: Lucid dreams can be used to solve problems in your waking life. You can use them to practice new skills, test out ideas, and come up with creative solutions to problems.

Entertainment: Lucid dreams can be a lot of fun. You can use them to fly, have adventures, and meet interesting people.

Risks of lucid dreaming

There are also some potential risks associated with lucid dreaming. For example, some people have reported feeling anxious or even terrified during lucid dreams. In rare cases, lucid dreams can even lead to sleep paralysis, a condition in which the person is unable to move or speak after waking up.

Here are some of the risks of lucid dreaming:

Anxiety: Some people experience anxiety or even fear during lucid dreams. This is usually due to the fact that they are not used to being aware that they are dreaming.

Sleep paralysis: Sleep paralysis is a condition in which the person is unable to move or speak after waking up. It can be a frightening experience, and it is sometimes associated with lucid dreaming.

Psychological problems: In rare cases, lucid dreaming can lead to psychological problems such as psychosis or dissociation. However, this is very rare and only occurs in people who are already at risk for these conditions.

Techniques for inducing lucid dreams

If you are interested in trying lucid dreaming, there are a number of techniques that you can use. Some of the most common techniques include:

Reality testing: This involves checking throughout the day to see if you are dreaming. You can do this by trying to push your finger through your palm, looking at a clock twice to see if the time changes, or trying to read something twice to see if the words change.

Wake back to bed (WBTB): This involves waking up after 5-6 hours of sleep, staying awake for 20-30 minutes, and then going back to sleep. This increases your chances of having a lucid dream.

Mnemonic induction of lucid dreams (MILD): This involves repeating a mantra to yourself before you go to sleep, such as "I will know I am dreaming."

If you are persistent, you should be able to induce lucid dreams with some practice. However, it is important to remember that lucid dreaming is not a guarantee, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one person may not work for another.

Conclusion

Lucid dreaming is a fascinating phenomenon with both potential benefits and risks. If you are interested in learning more about lucid dreaming, there are a number of resources available online and in libraries.

[raining-tulips]

It’s 5 am and I have been awoken from a dream where I was reflecting on “my year of taking risks” with three girls younger than me. It was surreal to relay all the things i identified as risks, and important to me, from my waking life. My jaw was so tense in the dream I think that’s what woke me up.

[scientia-rex]

For the most part, my approach to prescribing hormones is “sure,” but I will note that the one thing I lean HARD on patients about is smoking. If you’re transgender, and you’re on hormones, the number one thing we want to protect is your cardiovascular health. That’s frankly the number one thing I want to protect in all my patients, but anyone taking exogenous hormones is at higher baseline risk. And the best thing you can do for your heart is DON’T SMOKE. It’s a bitch to quit, and I didn’t even smoke much or long before I quit in my late teens, and I STILL didn’t enjoy quitting and had smoking dreams for years. It’s harder to quit than just about anything else up to and including crack and heroin, and that’s coming from a patient of mine who recently passed in her early 60s who’d done all of those things—for years and years—but eventually was able to quit everything except smoking. And that killed her. She developed severe COPD and eventually called to say her blood oxygen saturation was dipping into the 70s, which is incompatible with life. She was lucid enough to decline medical care, including refusing to call 911 or go to the ER. A week later, after both I and one of our outreach nurses had contacted her to ask her to please go to the ER, I got a notification that she’d been found dead. She had been so frustrated that she wasn’t a candidate for a lung transplant.

One of my oldest trans patients is in her late 50s. She’s had blood clots that went to the lungs. Repeatedly. Smoking raises that risk. Estrogen raises that risk. She’s a veteran with PTSD; of course she smoked.

These aren’t theoretical. These are humans I’ve cared for over years of their lives. I have been rooting for them—my beloved former addict, who spoke without shame about her years of homelessness and drug use in the city; my queer elders, who are slowly trading in their motorcycles for power scooters. I want everyone to live their fullest, best life.

Smoking doesn’t fit into that. Please don’t smoke. I don’t want you to die like that—not now and not later. I want you to have the future that you may not be able to see yet, but exists.

Since I moved home as an out queer, word got out, and there’s a whole apartment complex of lesbians in their 60s to their 80s who come see me—sitting next to their wives in the office, nagging about blood pressure meds, tattling about not having gotten the shingles shot they said they would. To be clear, when I was growing up in town, I knew no lesbians. Not one. I knew one gay kid in my class, which eventually turned into two. We were it. To see these women living decades with their wives and being able to squabble like any couple in my office over who was supposed to bring their home blood pressure cuff in for us to check it… it means the world to me.

[cringelordofchaos]

I once dreamed of pinching myself in the middle of a dream to see if I was dreaming or not

End result: I got a weird, but oddly comfortable supposedly physical feeling in my body, and I was confused and didn't know if that meant I was awake or not so I just continued my dream like nothing happened

What to take away from this? Pinching yourself to see if you're dreaming is pointless

[dcxdpdabbles]

Could you do more cave boy Danny please? I really wanna see what you have in mind for the direction you want the prompt to take 👻

The first thing that registers for Danny is the flouting feeling that he often relates to flying. To him, it always felt like being in the water, perfectly balanced with his arms and legs spread out, letting himself be weightless and left up instead of fighting gravity.

He allows himself to be taken by the sensation. It's not often he can fly just for enjoyment, especially in recent months. The Waynes were far too observant.

It is only when he tries to move into a more comfortable position that he notices the restraint.

Unlike in the water, he does not move slightly up and down with waves so he knows he's not flying in his ghost form. There is nothing that ever hinders him, even if slightly.

This is a different sense of flying.

It's caused by medication.

Danny's eyes snap open, fearing men in white suits, and instead gets a teenager in black and red-leaning his head into his hands. There are no restraints or a containment pod, instead, there are soft warm blankets and a large bed.

There are beeps from machines and a tube inside his arm, tapped to the top of his elbow. He's not sure what is in it but he hopes it to help with his pain and not to....see what his DNA is made of or something.

Thoughts are....hard right now. Like trying to grasp sand but it only slips through his fingers. He is aware but not. Did someone steal his brain? He is usually a much better thinker.

"Brucie!" The red and black teenager grasps, throwing his head up. Danny squints at him, wondering if his black wings are alright. They didn't explain or even react to his movement.

Danny should contact Frostbite. His Yeti can fix up those right up.

"It's a cape" The other laughs but his voice is soft with sadness. Danny squints at him trying to pinpoint why he would be so sad. It might be because he hasn't shifted into a butterfly yet.

"I'm not a butterfly." The other laughs a little more amused.

Danny's eyes widened. Was the teenager a mind reader? That's a scary thought. What if he learned all of Danny's secrets?

"Brucie....who's Danny?"

Nah, Danny wasn't risking it. He was going back to sleep. He had to escape into his dreams that way they would be just as confused by them as he was. He chuckles to himself, knowing that they won't know what to do against the giant green dog that guarded his dreams.

"Goodnight Brucie. Enjoy your green dog"

________________________________________________

Hours later Danny wakes up again but this time he is much more lucid. He glances around the room, eyes flickering over the machine and wires attached to him with little care.

He can recognize the room the Waynes gave him with ease. Everything from the posters he had put up in an attempt to look like an average teenager- even if he did only put up posters of Batman and his crew- to the random nick-nacks he left behind in his escape.

It was a bit bare from when he took everything but it's still the room he called home for a while.

How in the world did he get back to Wayne Manor?

Danny needs to get out now.

Standing up on uneasy legs, he rips out the wires as fast as he can, uncaring of the loud alarms that ring the moment he does. He rushes for the door, vision blurry, having to force all of his will into getting one step and then another.

Danny is forced to take small pauses every now and then because his body simply can't handle moving too fast. His legs shake from the effort it takes to keep him up right but he pushes through anyway.

It's only when he manages to get to the door that he remembers his powers. Danny flexes his abs into a clench that he had come to associate with activating his powers. For a brief second, twin rings of light appear, but they only move z few centimeters before flickering out of sight.

It feels like all his energy fades with with.

Panting, he slides to the floor, his limbs feeling like lead and his head swimming with fog. His head falls to the side slightly, but he can see that the door is right in front of him.

Danny tries to reach for it but all that does is cause him to tumble over. There is a dull ache on his chin and chest, as he lays there on the ground breathing heavily, and small black dots start to appear in his vision.

He is likely going to pass out soon from his core's backlash. Danny can't afford that. Not until he's safely away from the Manor and back in his cave.

How in the world did he even get out of his cave? How did he end up here?

All questions he'll have to answer later.

Planting his forearms before himself and pushing one leg slightly to the side, Danny lifts himself up. He lets his legs relax, making sure they don't drag behind him, as he shifts one arm forward and then another, crawling towards the door in the army crawl his mom should him.

He makes it to the door in what feels like hours but is probably seconds. His hands reach upward to launch onto the door handle with all his strength. to heave it open.

There is a moment of pure unadulterated joy that he was able to get this far when Danny encounters a slight problem. There is a force field right inside the doorway.

He figures this out when he slams into an invisible wall. A startled yelp is ripped from his throat as he stumbles back, blinking owlishly at the flickering force field light that gleams and ripples mockingly at him.

For half a second, he thinks that one of his siblings had pranked him by putting up plastic wrap to have him walk into it.

Except for the man in a brown trench coat who is staring down at him with an open mouth.

"Brucie!" Bruce shouts pushing the stranger out of the way to kneel down. "What happened?"

"He activated my wares to keep out spirits....or in this case keep them in?" Trench coat is staring at Danny with a strange expression. It seems like a cross between intrigued and weary. "What are you?"

"I already told you, this is my counterpart from a different universe," Bruce says helping Danny into a sitting position. "We confirmed it the first night he was here. Both DNA and our multi-universal tests came back positive."

"Batty, I highly doubt you have the technology to test for dimension travelers-"

"I do. I used it on every Flash I have ever come across, every time I see them."

"......I know I call you batty but honestly Batty that's alarming."

Danny's eyes flicker between them before he activates his intangibility. It's an ability that doesn't require his full form, however just as he's starting to slip through Bruce's fingers his legs slam against a similar field just a few inches from the floor.

His knees pop loudly and Danny screeches.

"Brucie!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't do that. My wards are all around us. I put them up after finding your cave drenched in otherworld energy. Figured I was protecting you not capturing you."

Danny's yanks his legs up, trying to crawl away from the man. Bruce throws an arm in front of him and Danny foolishly presses himself into the older man's back, trying to shield away from the very alarmingly competent Ghost Hunter.

"You leave him alone. He is not a threat. He is just a civilian boy who happens to be a meta" Bruce's voice is low and dangerous. Danny has never heard him speak like that, even while dressed as Batman.

"Batty, whatever that is, it is certainly not a civilian let alone a boy. The amount of will it took just to keep my wards up by him hitting against them by accident is nothing to sneeze at." Trench Coat insists, pulling out a stone with a strange marking on it. Danny squints at the symbols and then gasps when he recognizes them.

ᛙᛁ⸜⸍ˎ⸜ᛍ╵╮ˎ◟ᛍ╵

It's Fenton Works spelled out in runes, medieval runes to be exact. Danny knows because Jazz and he had a bonding phase where they translated the family name and business. They would carve the symbols into hundreds of wood plates, to bond with their aunt.

"Yeah, even the Witch Boy flinched at this seal." The man smirks, holding out the plat as if he were warding off a spirit. Danny cowers more behind Bruce."You have no idea what I had to trade to get this"

"What the hell are you doing?" Tim's voice cuts through the tension. He is standing in the doorway, arms crossed and face dark. Behind him are the rest of the Waynes. None of them are looking friendly.

"Constantine." Bruce growls. "You are on thin ice. Backdown. Now".

"Not to be disrespectful Batty, but that thing is-"

"His name is Bruce Wayne, You will do well to remember it. " Damian cuts in. The blond man holding- his own carving?- tilts his head.

"But that's not your name is it?" He asks Danny, who swallows. He presses closer to Bruce and watches the Waynes slowly circle Constantine. It's obvious they are about to jump him and Danny-

Danny realized that he may have tried to run but that obviously wasn't going to work. He couldn't hide either, because they found him.

He needed to come clean.

"Wait." He says, his voice stilling the room in a way that only those with complete control. He scoots to the right leaving Bruce's protection. "Wait. He's right. I'm not Bruce Wayne. My name is Danny Fenton. I've been lying to you all. I'm sorry."

"Fenton?" Constantine repeats confused but he doesn't get to continue because Bruce pulls him back behind him.

"You aren't lying. We knew you had a different name, you're still my counterpart."

What.

"Yeah Danny, we kind of knew from day one that you were a version of Bruce even if it was under a different name" Dick laughs. "You told Tim your real name a few days ago as well as your universe coordinates. We already confirmed its location and Tim is working on a ship for you."

What

"We knew. You Bruce." Cass says looking right at Danny. "We since the day we found you."

That's....not right at all.

"No. I'm Danny Fenton. I'm not a version of Bruce. I can prove it!" He shouts, throwing his hand on Bruce's back. He makes his core glow, knowing no two people could ever have the same one unless they are variants of timelines.

That's why Dani's core won't glow with him but Dan will.

Constantine nods his head "A core glow test. That will prove that you aren't Bruce and are something that's pretending to be him. Claiming to be part of the King's family is also a bold claim."

"Look ma I never claim to be part of some King's family I only-"

Twin blue and green glows burst from Danny's and Bruce's chest and Danny's words die on his tongue. Constantine drops his hand in shock.

"See? You are Brucie!" Dick laughs as if he hadn't just shattered Danny's entire world viewpoint. He could only gape at the group of people before Bruce placed a hand on his head.

"I'm sorry. If I had known you knew where your world was located we would have gotten you home to your parents weeks ago. You must have been so scared. Don't worry. We'll have you home soon."

Again and with great feeling, he will say what!?

[jolynesmom]

reasons you’re unable to enter the void or shift while lucid dreaming or in sleep paralysis

recently I received a couple of messages from followers and other blogs explaining how, when they were in sleep paralysis or lucid dreaming, were unsuccessful in reaching the void or shifting after stating their intentions

this also happened to me a couple of times, seemingly at random; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t

I did a bit of research and also analyzed my own experiences to figure out the root of the problem and how to fix it:

you’re not completely grounded/you’re rushing

this took me an embarrassing amount of tries to realize this, but every time I’m lucid dreaming or feeling myself entering the void, I would instantly start to spew out my intentions/desires instead of completely grounding myself in there and I would be instantly kicked out from that state. I guess it just doesn’t work that way — you have to be completely grounded in your ld or sp for your desires to manifest

a lot of you (me included) get so excited or scared when realizing we’re in a certain state that the connection, I guess, breaks. as an example, when I wasn’t very knowledgeable on the void state I entered it and chilled there for like 10-15 minutes before exiting willingly, but after discovering it can be used for shifting or manifesting I could barely spend 10 seconds there before waking up unintentionally

mental exhaustion

your psyche is exhausted and it simply can’t proceed the instructions anymore. imagine you stay awake for more than 24 hours and someone asks you to do a task that requires concentration and precision. would you be able to do it perfectly? I highly doubt

to get over this issue you need to take a serious break, and I don’t mean you can’t attempt anything for a day or two, I mean a BREAK — don’t even think about shifting or entering the void and chill and sleep as much as possible. I mean it, especially sleeping! fix your sleep schedule or sleep lots for 2-3 days

after you start your attempts again, if the first few instances are unsuccessful, you need to take another break before continuing, otherwise you risk of repeating the same scenario over again — reaching your desired state but not being able to do anything from there due to mental strain

brain activation trigger

brain activity changes — realizing you are dreaming changes how your brain works, especially in parts that help you think about yourself and make decisions. these changes can wake you up; knowing you are dreaming can make you feel excited or surprised - these strong feelings can wake you up too

mental blockages and expectations

your subconscious mind might have doubts or fears regarding the process. if you unconsciously expect that your attempts won’t work or fear the consequences of them working, this can create a mental block — this is actually more common than people think and a lot of you don’t even realize you have these blockages

overexcitement

if you become too excited or anxious about the possibility of your desires manifesting, this can trigger your body to wake up. remaining calm and composed is very important (even though we can’t help ourselves at times). overexcitement goes hand in hand with other strong emotions such as fear, so make sure you’re in a neutral state

subconscious programming

your subconscious might need more time and positive reinforcement to accept and integrate the idea of shifting realities, entering the void or manifesting desires. using affirmations, subliminals and visualizations regularly can help reprogram your subconscious mind

timing

certain times of the night or stages of sleep might be more conducive to successful lucid dreaming/sleep paralysis and shifting. experimenting with different times and conditions can help you so much!!

as an example: I have an easier time entering the void by meditating at night after 1 a.m., but I have an easier time doing wbtb and lucid dreaming between 8-11 a.m.

I honestly think that what can help you overcome this is self reflection — a lot of you search for answers but never bother to answer them yourselves. by self reflecting throughout my journey has helped me identify my weaknesses, how to fix them, what works for me and other tricks to speed up the process or make it more enjoyable

[puff0o0]

You had a crush on Barrage, a big one at that

It was very obvious, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. The way you snuck glances, gushed about his achievements on the field, and the way you got so nervous when he was around which seemed to be all the time as he was everywhere

Gaz and Ghost were the first to notice, given they are the two most observant in the team. Gaz kept pushing you to go for it and so did Ghost, they wanted you to happy afterall!

You didn't know exactly how to go for it since he doesn't seem to talk much and you two weren't exactly friends

Which makes your crush on him even more frustrating

Soap eventually found out about it and tried helping you out by befriending Barrage himself but that didn't really turn out well...

At least you know what his voice sounds like!

This lead to Soap getting the idea of going on a mission with him

It was the only way you could talk to him without feeling too weird afterall

But you would have to wait for the day you even get the chance to go on one with him since it's completely random :(

But Soap was willing to find a way for you

Price also found out about it (he eavesdropped on the conversation you and Soap were having) and he also wanted to help

He didn't bring it up a lot, only mentioning it when he was around and telling you to go for it. Most of the time it was the perfect opportunity but you didn't want to risk embarrassing yourself

Of course, like Ghost, he teased you a bit but nothing compared to the way Gaz was teasing you

Anytime he walked in the room, Gaz was elbowing you to look and chuckling when you averted your eyes the second you noticed him

There was even a time where Gaz called him over for 'help' in hopes that a conversation between the two of you would spark

It did not.

"You have to introduce yourself"

Price said, Gaz nodding as it's what he's he's saying this whole time

"I'm sure he won't yell at you for asking him out and I'm sure he wouldn't reject you. He'd have to be blind and brain dead to do that to someone like you"

Gaz said, trying to boost your confidence so that you would finally go and get to know him

You just stared at them, shaking your head no as you continued cleaning your gun

"Ye aren't gonna get anywhere if he doesn't know ye!"

Soap said with a grin, hoping that the conversation would inspire and push you into making a move

It did not.

All 4 of them could tell how much you really liked this guy and all 4 of them really wanted you to be happy, so they hatched up a plan in their free time

And it worked!

Somehow Ghost managed to pull some strings, getting you and Barrage on a mission together. It was an easy mission too, the ride there would be longer than the actual mission

And yet you just couldn't bring yourself to actually say something

The air felt so awkward

You didn't want to say the wrong thing and get him to dislike you

Crushes were so hard.

but then he spoke, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts

"You've been lookin' at me this whole time. Is there something you want?"

His voice held some irritation to it, which only made you more nervous

Yet you knew you had to say something back and make it good so that you could actually get to know eachother. But what could you say for that to even happen???

"..I want to get to know you"

You immediately started to feel embarrassed from your reply. It shot out quicker than you could stop it

You couldn't see his facial expressions, his mask covering it and only making you more nervous

Is he disgusted? mad? embarrassed?

Then he chuckled a bit, catching you off guard

Now you were REALLY worried

"If you wanted to ask me out you could just ask normally"

You were shocked, pinching your arm to make sure this wasn't some lucid dream

There was a moment of silence between you as you didn't know what to say and he was waiting on a reply from you

"..I want to ask you out then"

You hesitated, mentally slapping yourself for it. You barely- Well, he barely even knows you

He was probably just baiting you so he could reject you

Or at least that's what your mind thought

If only you could see how his eyes lit up behind those glasses, glad that he finally managed to strike a conversation with you

He wasn't the type to be nervous around a crush or beat around the bush

But you were different! You intimidated him with your looks and personality. He assumed you were wayy out of his league, he was sure you wouldn't even give him a second thought if he asked you out

So he ignored you the best he could so the feelings would go away

But it was not easy, not at all

He even caught himself redirecting his usual routes to match up with your schedule so he could see you more

He quickly put a stop to that

Your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your face, it was all too perfect

Everytime he saw your face he could feel his face heating up a little

A moment of silence before he spoke again, facing your direction

"Then it's a date"

[the-monkeies-girl]

Terror. ( Noa x Human!Reader Oneshot. )

Title: Terror. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Pairing: Noa x Human!Reader. Rating: T. ( Mentions of violence, death, nightmares. ) Words: 4.5K+ Summary: Noa was a proud Ape. It was surely something he garnered from his parents and he was never one to rely on others to take his burdens and make them their own. But, there has to come a breaking point. ~*Comments, Likes and Reblogs are really appreciated! Thank you! **DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THANK YOU!

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

The vacancy of the bed was almost deafening in nature when you rolled yourself out of unconsciousness. Blurred, your eyes were unable to make out any shapes, any indication of the lonely spot next to you. The way that your hand slid outwards in a bid that maybe he was there, maybe your tired mind was imagining the emptiness, reaching out for the Ape that was always there with you, even when you weren’t aware. Your fingers catapulting against the nature of the animal pelts that you so lovingly embraced on the cold nights that Noa was late to come rest. So very desolate and it felt bitter trying to bargain with yourself why Noa wasn’t there.

Perhaps, you thought in your sleepy slumber and lifted yourself up enough to confirm that the spot next to you was barren, he got up every night and left you. You’d have no premonition regarding; you were often sawing into the throes of sleep and wouldn’t notice him leaving if he did it every night, or at the very least, on a consistent basis. That… Your mind twisted in a boggled way as it was trying to steady itself into a more aware state. That wasn't like Noa at all. In fact, the Chimpanzee was a rather deep sleeper, it took him much to wake up in the morning let alone in the middle of the night, as you suspected from the dim light of the fire buzzing itself into destruction in the corner of the hut.

You groaned softly against the fox pelt that you used as a pillow and found yourself rolling onto your back, staring at the ceiling in pensive silence for a few moments. Surely, you could go back to bed and wake up with Noa there. Maybe, this entire thing was a dream and you were stuck in a strange lucid state inside of your own subconscious, able to move your body, able to think, able to comprehend but still in the fantasies that you were blessed with when the sleep was just that satisfying and deep-seated.

Drawing a deep breath in, your eyes stared holes into the shadows along the shafts of the ceiling above you. How they flickered with the dying light of the fire, how they casted and played along themselves. Sleep was grabbing you from the back and trying to pull you back. The shake of the empty spot next to you kept you teetering against the backdrop of falling under.

Sound snapped you out of the delectable sensation of slumber ravishing at your senses. Jumping slightly, your heart raced and raised to rest uncomfortably at the back of your throat. Automatically, in your already vulnerable state of rest, you went straight into a panic. What was the sound? Without Noa there, there was no protection if you were under attack. In your haze, the vibrations of the sound were similar to the way that the boards of your perched nest would resonate when weight was put on it. Mind racing, you shot up in bed and looked out the small window of your shared hut, grasping tightly at an animal pelt and pressing it into your chest. Yeah, that was going to protect you, your mind quipped sarcastically.

There was an illusion of shadows played against your dilated eyes as they were trying eagerly to come into focus and shift so you could see better in the dark. At least… You thought they were just in your mind but they were too consistent with the sound of wood pressuring underweight. There was… Oh no. Tightening your grasp on the animal pelt in front of you, taking the serious notion that it was going to somehow protect you, you crawled on your knees to the edge of the nest and urged your body to stand.

Your feet hit the planks below with a small ‘thud’, your weight unsteady as you rose and shuffled. It was comedic, you would have figured that if someone saw the way you were moving so synthetically, animal pelt in front of your body, your feet vibrating against the floor, your eyes widened with bleak anticipation as you pressed on towards the entrance of the hut, they’d laugh at your lack of confidence and stance.

You were trying to keep the thoughts at bay. There was not someone outside, it was just the wind. On a steady night. Not one leaf shifted or beckoned to fall off with the push of a simple breeze. Swallowing softly, you stared at the entryway. There was either nothing there or you were about to be killed. Take your choice. That was your brain's way of coping with this. Sarcasm. How great. I could die right now from an aggressive Ape outside and all I can think to do is make a joke.

Slipping your hand against the smoothness of the dark cloth that served as a privacy barrier in the entryway, you were fast to move it to the side and step backwards again, almost tumbling as a response to your body jerking so quickly. Okay, so… There was no one coming in, that was good. Drawing a deep breath in, you took the step you had taken backwards and pushed to move forwards. One step turned into two, three, four… Peeping your head out, you were thankful for the lit fire stakes that were situated all around the village that kept you from complete darkness at night. There was no one to the right, that was great. That was the way to enter the nest. Turning your head, you then rigidly pressed your attention to the left where there was a ledge to either sit and take the sun, or to rest when you didn't want to be in the entanglements of the nest.

You were frozen to the ground for a split second peering at the form you had seen. Contemplating going back into the hut was heavy, but then… Narrowing your eyes, you recognized that hunched over body. The way that the spine curved, almost right into itself, the placement of the feet, broad against the paneling of the wood below, the drift of the shoulders. Noa. Your mind felt a strong sense of relief followed by the euphoric nature of your entire body releasing tension. Raising a hand, you placed it against your heart and told it to calm down. With a bit more fever in your gait, you stepped out from the enclosure of your home and pattered silently to the young Ape.

In all other situations, he was always quick to greet by raising his head in acknowledgement, he was always fascinated in the way that you’d maintain eye contact with him, or the beam of a smile you’d greet him with. This…? Your feet came to a solemn stop, right foot behind the left as you hesitated moving forward. He had to know you were there, there was absolutely no way he wouldn’t be able to smell you with his acute senses. There was no way that you were as quiet as you were trying to be.

Something was wrong. Swallowing hard, you looked over him again, more cognizant than you were before at the idea that something was wrong. The hunch of his shoulders… He was closing in on himself, his head resting against his forearms as he had tightly knitted himself into a ball, knees enclosed by his chest. Glancing out, you noted that he was looking at nothing. Or at least, to your eyes, it appeared like it was just empty space he was floating off into. His shoulders were pulling in, almost defensive in nature. You didn't want to disturb him if he was deep in thought - if he didn't want you there. Obviously, he got out of the nest for a reason, your mind was tangling in on itself, having no clue what to do. But, before any rational premises came upon you, you were speaking.

“Noa?”

You could feel it radiating off of him in waves; the intensity of emotions that Noa was uncertain how to cope with. The smothering sensation he found himself in even though your tender voice, calling out to him from the pit of darkness, was a pull out of suffocation. Noa was beyond tired; his body felt like it was going to close in on itself but his mind was running around in circles around the exhaustion. Not even taking a second's worth of energy to look at you which in itself was abhorrent.

The Ape tightened himself at that. He couldn’t untangle himself enough to look at you, his love, his life, his mate. You came to rest next to him, the placement of the animal pelt against your shoulders enticing him momentarily and suddenly all he wanted was to consume you, to be around you in any aspect, in some bid to get himself grounded and back to a sense of belonging and peacefulness. He sighed- Shoulders rising and falling with increased distress. Green eyes were following the dance of the fire stakes of the village. Rushing from one, to the next, to the next, all the way to the most distant stake - barely a simmer in the darkness at the very edge of the Clan.

You were biding your time, Noa knew you enough that out of his peripheral vision he could sense your fingers playing against the animal fur of the pelt that made the journey out, your eyes drifting between the darkened landscape and Noa himself. He could feel your attempts to analyze his face, so painful to him at the moment, it felt like a hot brand was encasing his chest and he was drowning in flames.

To your dismay, Noa kept his chin tilted downwards so you couldn’t see him; the shadows of the fire kept messing with the perception of his expression. Unsettled silence wrapped the two of you into a blanket of mere suffocation. Noa would say something - anything - just to break it but it felt like he couldn’t. The process his mind was going through - piecing one minor detail to another to build a bigger picture took his obsessive personality to the next level until he had built himself a figurative wall between himself and you.

It was a quiet enough night. The tendered horses in the paddock were snorting to your right and you found yourself drawn to look at them, though admittedly, their forms were hard to make out from the distance. This was the first time you had actually seen the entire village from this perspective; sitting outside of the nest on the ledge was not your favorite thing to do. Looking down was enough to cause your stomach to feel unsettled, so you adamantly avoided gazing straight down. Instead, you focused on the horses. On the fires that Noa also found himself entranced by.

“What… is it…” Noa was the first to break the icy wall he had built, your skin prickling at the mere sound of his words. So rough and baritone now, you swore the vibrations were going to pick you up and throw you over the edge. “Called when… the… things you see are not good?”

Furrowing your eyebrows at his inquiry, you had no idea how to answer without any more context, “What do you mean?” Your voice was a seering knife to him but he found himself drawn to it and wanted nothing more than for it to pierce his sensitive skin.

“The… things,” Raising his hand, he pressed it to his temple. His fingers were furled in on themselves, rigid and assuming emotions that neither of you were able to read. Noa was shut off to you, and Noa himself? The emotions were unread because he couldn’t comprehend them in their entirety. “The things… When I’m sleeping.”

Dreams, your mouth opened to say that but Noa continued on.

“They are… terrible…” His voice cracked as he came to a tapering stop, not willing to repeat himself. Instead, he looked at you for the first time. It felt shattering to see - The slope of his face falling into a grimace of self-destruction. His mouth laid open, something Noa tended to do when he was deep in thought. The delicate wrinkles under his beautifully speckled eyes, peering so desperately at you for some form of solace, freckles lining along the bridge of his brows, along the fur of his head, down the sides of his face. You thought about them for a moment as you looked at him.

No… Not just at him anymore, you passed that the moment you mated. You were looking inside of him. That was a cue for you and you were rather hasty to lift your hand and lightly place it against his cheek. Noa accepted it - or maybe he just didn't have it in him to move away. Shifting in your spot at how unnerved it felt to have him look at you like that, you listened to him carry on in that sickeningly agony-laid voice as your fingers collapsed against the rougher nature of the skin on his face, tickling themselves along his beard like he always enjoyed.

“They are not good… Scare… ” Noa gasped softly and tilted his head into your open palm. Hold me, he said, hold me and tell me what’s happening to me.

Not dreams, you thought.

Biting your bottom lip, you drew a deep breath into your lungs and savored the feeling of pain at the expansion. You figured it was a better feeling than the answer to the question Noa posed. “You’re having nightmares, Noa… They’re the…. The opposite of a good dream…”

“Nightmares,” Always so prompt to respond when you tell him a new word, you were somewhat relieved that he was still Noa enough to do that, “Why?”

That you had no answer to and the two of you found yourself falling into a rather oppressive silence. Noa had his eyes shut as he pressed his face further into your hand, enjoying the closeness of your scent to his nose. It put him in an eased state despite the disparity happening in his thoughts. In the time it took you to move your other hand upwards to entirely cup his face in your grasp, Noa’s body urged itself out of the tightened form it had been in since he left the nest to be outside in deep contemplation. He opened himself up to you, grazing his hands against the ones you had on his face before pulling you into him. Foreheads touched, eyes shut and Noa’s mouth propped open in a split moment of clarity.

“Always,” Noa broke away from you first, but kept a close distance as you began lightly stroking your thumbs along his lower jaw. He always liked that. “Always about Eagle Clan…” His voice narrowed with increased hopelessness, “Fire… So… So much fire. Thought maybe could warn the Eagle Clan before. Was not fast enough… Stupid Noa.” You could feel his jaw clench under your touch as he tried to reserve himself from flying off the metaphorical handle.

Whatever grasp he had, the only thing that was keeping him from letting go was your presence in front of him. “Was Apes who did this… Terrible…” That was one of his favorite words to describe the destruction of the Village, at least, that’s what he often chose when you two were wrapped in that conversation. Not often, once or twice, and he only ever gave you enough details to piece it together vaguely. Never this clear, never this conscious.

“So… so scared…” Swallowed gently, he laid his hands on your shoulders and with that, you dropped the animal pelt to pool around your waist. He was trembling, you could feel it against your skin, “Tried to save Father… Noa is so weak,” Third-person talking often indicated to you a racing mind, he had no time to put it into the right perspective. He didn't need to; you always understood what he was saying. “Couldn’t…”

This was all new information but it didn't take your mind long to process. Noa was having nightmares about the night when his Village was ransacked, his people taken, with many lost, including his Father Koro. Empathy surged over you and it was abundantly overwhelming as you had to watch as Noa crumbled quite literally in your hands. You rose, now shifting yourself onto your knees as you pulled him to move with you.

The animal pelt was forgotten, falling onto the wooden planks below to be remembered at a later date. He complied hazily to your body’s request, twisting his form with yours so you were on your knees in front of him and Noa was sitting, opening his legs for you to slide between them which you were happy to indulge in. You brought his head in to yours again ;Noa fully expecting you to place your forehead against his own - Always the preferred, always the best way to comfort amongst Apes. He shut his eyes in anticipation.

Nothing came for a minute and when Noa lifted his eyelids to look at you, he found himself under your gaze and unable to break the contact. This all felt incredibly Echo. The position of your bodies, you above him and looking down, Noa complacent. He’d only move if you asked him to. Noa looked from one eye to the other, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something. He could see the tears forming around the corner of your eyes even in this dim lighting. He could feel the touch of your fingers, now tangling into his beard with turmoil. Something snapped -

Noa grasped at you, his long arms entirely bringing your body right against his own. Hard in nature, the gasp you let out fell to echo into the night as you reciprocated and grasped him back in a tight hug, arms tangling themselves along his broad upper half to hold his shoulderblades. Noa could snap you in half, it was a thought that always lingered but now? You wanted nothing more than that. You’d let him if it helped him feel better. Noa could beat you down to the ground, his strong fist against your body, if it would just take away the agony he was clearly grappling with. You were clearly grappling with.

You had no words, nothing you were going to say would help and despite your best efforts, you couldn’t speak. Instead, you brought yourself to a physical response that you knew Noa would see as incredibly ‘Echo’. A hug of empathy. Hugging was common with Apes, you knew but this? The press of your ribcage against his muscular chest, the feeling of his long fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt, face drawing itself into the crook of your neck. You wanted to take Noa down with you to forget the world, to forget the nightmares and responsibilities.

Tucking your legs in, you wrapped them around his thinned waist and pressed into him further in a straddle, almost wanting to crawl inside of his warmth, crawl inside of his mind in some attempt to help him understand the nightmares, understand the feelings and the justifications he had to have them. They did not make him weak, they would always make him stronger, though from the feeble way he was holding you, you had no doubt that he couldn’t see that as an outcome.

“Miss him,” Noa whispered against your neck, his breath hot against your skin. It caused a chill to spiral down your spine and it was quick to rest on your tailbone. Noa had swiftly dropped his hands from their captivity around your upper half to centralize on your lower back, pressing with some strength to keep you near to him. More comfortable for both of you. “Miss him so much… Some… Sometimes… wonder if he would…. He…” He couldn’t say it, bringing one hand up to sign before it resumed its placement on the small of your back.

Proud.

You watched him sign with such misery that it felt like your heart was going to sink to the floor below, the ground and then dig into the Earth itself just so it didn't have to rest in the uncomfortable cocoon of your chest. Moving your hands, you drew upwards and lightly dug them into the brown fur at the back of his neck, petting upwards to embed them around his ears. “We’re all proud Noa.” The young Chimp only shifted at your words, not having it in him to agree or disagree. Your voice shot through him though- he was so close to your neck that it felt like each word you spoke was seeping into every pore of his body. Green eyes even watched as your jugular moved as you verbalized, taking time to admire that, taking time to focus on something that wasn’t antagonistic. “I--- I know your Father would be proud.”

He scoffed at that, “Did not know him.”

You groaned to yourself. Right. Empathy like this was a foreign concept and it often left Noa defensive if you weren’t more careful around it.

“Just one of those Echo things.” It was apparent that Noa wasn’t in the mood to joke and you slapped yourself mentally for even trying. Dropping your shoulders, you craned your head down. Lightly shifting a hand from around his ear, you aided Noa in lifting his head so you could look at him again. Not angry, not jokingly, not empathetic… But as one. One bonded pair.

“But, I know you, Noa…” You could see him swallow, feeling him pushing on your back in a frenzied notion to get you as close as possible, to get you to comfort him further until he felt nothing else. Your hand lifted and you placed it against his bottom lip. You held his entire chin in a pinched grasp. “I know you… How strong you are, how much of a Leader you are everyday…” He snapped his head away from your grasp in a vicious movement to look off in the distance, “Noa, you need to listen to me.”

The scold in your voice made him pause for a second before he looked back at you hesitantly, green eyes no longer accepting like they had been and they were quick to turn defensive. Noa was waiting for you to continue but you found your mouth dry at the pure emotions now collapsing against him. You shut your mouth and swallowed, trying hard to lubricate enough to say something, anything to him, before he shoved you aside to leave. Shoved you aside to cope, shoved you aside forever… Tightening your grasp around his ear, you grappled for a full handful of his mildly-coarse fur, your other hand resuming its position. You grabbed his chin and forced him to look at you, whether he wanted to or not, assuming that if he did not, he’d move to push you off or tell you to stop.

“Look at what you’ve done… You--- You rebuilt. The Clan, the Elders… They’re all so grateful to you, Noa. Look at your Mother.” Noa perked up. “Look at Soona, Anaya… Look at me, Noa.”

That was either a demand or you were just finishing your statement, Noa couldn’t tell but he found himself looking deep into you to the point where it felt like you were unable to catch your breath, unable to reach for anything or anyone else. His fingers were digging roughly into your skin despite the fabric of your shirt being a buffer. Aware of the bruises that were going to be there tomorrow, you drew yourself inwards and placed your forehead against his. “I-I’m sorry… About your Father… About the nightmares… But you can’t do it alone.”

That got him irrationally irritated as he began bargaining inside of his mind, “Do not want to bring you into this,” Noa muttered under his breath and lifted one of his hands to grasp at the back of your head. You were not moving from him anymore, you were keeping your forehead against his, even if it meant that the back of your skull was turned into fine dust from the pressure of his touch. “Can not. Too much pain,” Gasping softly at the feeling of his fingers tangling into your hair, you braced a hand against his chest. “But I can… Can’t stop…” His voice wavered around the edge in crinkled grief, “I want to do this alone, but you…” Noa was searching for any explanation, any formidable thought that his words made any sense but there was none. “I… need…” You.

Noa finally crumpled against you, dropping his head and placing it against the bridge between your breasts. Much like a child to their mother, you grasped around his head and pulled him into you further. Sleep was no longer on the horizon. Your senses were shot, but you were sure when you and Noa ended up back in the nest, sleep would not come easy to either of you and you’d roll into the comfortable silence and intimate nature of how he gazed at you, petting you with his eyes as he’d bring you closer, closer… But for right now, on the ledge outside of the nest you made with him, you didn't feel like moving. You didn't feel like speaking.

You only felt Noa.

[ddarker-dreams]

Epilogue.

Yandere Blade x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, codependency, Blade's love language is committing murder for you. Word count: 1.5k.

Nexus index.

“You went overboard.”

Blade doesn’t respond.

You know he heard you. He’s lucid enough to comprehend your words, but that doesn’t mean he’ll acknowledge them. Not when he’s standing there, parsing through his frenetic thoughts, which must feel more like a distant dream than reality. This is how you’ve come to understand his mara. It’s a capricious affliction, despite how adept you’ve become at soothing it.

This burden isn’t yours alone to bear. Blade has his part to play. He has to at least, on some level, want to ward off the beckoning madness. Your psionic abilities lay in amplifying base desires, not writing over them. Usually, this isn’t a problem. Usually, you both prefer he retains control instead of leaving a trail of contorted corpses in his wake.

Today, however, was decidedly unusual.

The nature of your new ‘work’ invites risk. Danger has never been a stranger to you — there was a reason why leaving the LOTUS-EATER’s premises was discouraged. This daunting acquaintance loves seeking you out. The feeling isn’t mutual, regardless of how successful the attempts are. It’s the aftershocks that you dread most. In the moment, everything happens so fast, there’s no time to be afraid until you reflect on it later.

Nona would tell you that what’s done is done, no point in dwelling on it further.

Lear would suggest you exercise more caution in the future, whilst barely being able to hold back tears of relief that it wasn't worse.

They aren’t here, though, you think. I only have him.

You swivel around on the kitchen island’s barstool to examine Blade like he’s examining you. He’s wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist as his clothes were dirtied beyond saving. Water trickles down the contours of his scarred, lithe body. The scent of orange and vanilla wafts in the air beside him, courtesy of the safehouse’s shower, no doubt. You prefer that over the metallic miasma which clung to him previously.

His crimson eyes pierce through the dimly lit room. You can’t decipher his expression, nor do you care to. What matters is that he gives some reassurance there won’t be a repeat of today’s incident. Knowing him, however, that’s too much to ask, but you’re starting to wonder if sweet lies are kinder than the truth.

Blade’s predatory gaze pauses at the fresh bruise on your forearm. What he doesn’t reveal outwardly is more than made up for by the sickening wrath his mind emanates. You wince beneath its intensity, a reaction he ignores, surprisingly, as he’s too focused on the hand-shaped indent. It isn’t until you inhale sharply that he snaps out of his reverie and the pressure in the room lessens.

While you rub your aching temples, he approaches, slinking forward like a stray cat. Though he viciously defends you as a guard dog would, you think he shares more similarities with the feline species. He bristles at anyone’s touch but yours, silently stares until you give him attention, and would gladly lay a pile of his kills at your feet, seeking approval for the macabre offering.

There was a time you’d voice this musing to observe his displeasure.

That time has long since passed.

Blade’s calloused fingertips run over the bruise, light enough to spare you any pain.

“Are there more?” he asks.

“I haven’t checked,” you shift back to rid yourself of his touch. His eyebrows pinch together, forming creases. “Is that really all you have to say?”

He’s glowering now. You don’t know what displeases him more — your avoidance of his touch, irate tone, or the condemnation hitherto left unsaid.

“You would’ve had me show mercy to your attackers?”

Blade enunciates the word mercy with every ounce of contempt one would regard their mortal enemy with. Now you’re beginning to better understand why getting him under control was such an ordeal. You encountered every possible resistance when attempting a link with him, a phenomenon you hadn’t experienced since that fateful day in The Lounge’s private room. He was always so receptive to, well, you, oddly pliant to your whims so long as you framed them right.

“You didn’t need to—” your throat goes dry, as the sights, sounds, and smells from earlier resurface, “—Need to…”

Fucking terrify me.

Sometimes, you forget on purpose.

You forget so you can drunkenly ramble anecdotes about your strangest clients over drinks, let him teach you the steps of weapon forging, and not struggle when he pulls you into his chest at night.

You forget so that your resentment can stay suspended in time, never growing past a point that’d suffocate you.

You forget so you can remember how to live.

Streams of sunlight sneak past the room’s blinds. You reach out, as if to catch it, allowing the beam to settle on your hand. The closest star to this planet — Varsig — is named the Spectator. The planet’s earliest inhabitants once thought the giant orb to be a god’s eye. Following their every movement, scrutinizing their every decision.

In the current year of 2157 AE, few still believe this superstition.

You understand where those ancient civilizations were coming from.

Eris’ eternal night hid wrongdoings behind a silvery veil. Stars, however, ensure you witness everything. Every misstep, shame, and regret is crystal clear. There’s no questioning the integrity of what you see. It burrows into your memory where it intends to remain forevermore. You’re reminded again and again that you’re no longer an Exalted Arbiter, but a means to an end for the universe’s most notorious criminal faction.

Either way, it’s a glorified transfer of ownership.

Still. At least then you had Loopy, Nona, Lear—

“You’re thinking about him.”

You freeze upon hearing his gruff accusation. Swiftly, perhaps suspiciously so, you turn the faucet of your thoughts off. Too much slipped through in your carelessness. Blade might not have your level of experience when it comes to decrypting the minds of others, but he’s spent enough time around you to pick up on a few things. The low-level link you share with him goes both ways, as per that miscreant Kafka’s suggestion.

For the most part, it’s an unobtrusive function that’s no more noticeable than one’s breathing. This prevents the continuous uptime from placing heavy strain on you. Identifying fluctuations in Blade’s mara is its main function. However, if you’re not being vigilant, a few segments from your psyche can pass through to him.

“Sorry,” you murmur.

It’s an unconvincing apology.

His mara, previously satiated from its earlier gorging, rouses. It seeks to form a tribunal with you as the defendant. This disease hates you, worships you, and longs to break you so that it might stitch you up and do it all over again.

Blade shakes his head and sighs.

The mara’s deliberation over your sentencing fades, leaving nothing but uncomfortable silence.

He turns around and starts walking away. Your eyes, ever keen in the dark, trace over the scars that cover his back. The off-color testimonies to his many battles have welcomed a newcomer, inducted into the ranks hours prior. The skin is red and angry. His long hair partially covers it — a slash made from the right side of his back to the lower left.

There’s little you know about combat, but from what you can tell, his opponents were skilled. They moved too fast for you to get an accurate count. In the aftermath, the remains were either butchered beyond recognition, or the few intact limbs so spread out, you couldn’t arrive at a number then either. Blade intercepted every shot and stab intended for you. He parried most, yet some slipped through the cracks. Without a second’s hesitation, he’d shield you from the onslaught, unfazed by what must’ve been excruciating pain.

That undying devotion is yours.

He belongs to you, really. Possibly more than you belong to him. This husk of a man who flayed the flesh of your foes and hung them by their entrails. Only the Aeons above know what other desecrations he committed when your consciousness gave out.

Sometimes, you calm the chaos simmering in his veins.

Other times, you raise it to a rapid boil.

“Yingxing.”

His retreating figure stills. Before, holding the memories of who he once was guaranteed he’d succumb to the mara’s influence. It’s less definitive now. There’s an undeniable intimacy to it — speaking a name scratched from history. He isn’t Yingxing anymore, nor can he ever be again. Somewhere, wedged deep into a forgotten crevice of his psyche, a tiny fragment of that splintered identity slumbers.

You rouse it when you think he needs to remember the anguish of losing everything.

“Do you want to be loved by me?”

You’re plenty capable of feeling love.

You love your student, who wrestled with life to reclaim the joy it previously stole. You love your first friend, who didn’t cower away from the unruly girl who decided to change his name on a whim. On some days, you could even love your mother, if your memories deceived you enough.

What about him, whom you might spend centuries beside?

Can loneliness outweigh resentment?

After what feels like multiple lifetimes, he responds.

“Anything’s enough.”

When he leaves, he takes a part of you with him.

…

You rise from your seat.

[lookinghalfacorpse]

long overdue cdream seizure drabble for @icecreamvi. dream is finally healthy enough to fight again, but seizures still hit at inopportune times.

/dsmp /rp

It was good to see Dream fighting again.

In all fairness, this fight in particular was a bit annoying. Technoblade and Dream were on their way back home after some errands when they were ambushed in the forest. Techno learned over the years that people who got lost in that enchanted forest, designed by the Goddess of Death to disorient and confuse, grew desperate quickly. They were little more than petty thieves, but even stray dogs are dangerous when they're hungry.

And their archer was infuriating.

Dream raised his shield a bit above his head, stopping an arrow before it landed in Techno's shoulderblade. With his shield occupied, Dream held his opponent at bay while blocking with his axe. "You couldn't afford to watch your back a bit more?" He joked.

"Eh," Techno replied. He was more interested in tossing one of the swordsmen into a tree. Humans are too easy to throw around.

Dream wasn't anywhere close to his former strength, but he could hold his own in battle, and he still overpowered most opponents. It was impressive to watch. He was quick and clever, and he knew how to use his bodyweight as a source of power, even after all the weight he lost. He was quick to disarm the swordsman that opposed him, and while the poor soul scrambled back to his feet and scanned around him for options, Dream stepped forward and smoothly raised his axe above his head--

--when suddenly his shoulder shuddered, and the axe dropped to the snow.

Dream gasped as air was forced out of his lungs, a hand raising to his chest in panic. Techno was familiar with the warning signs of a seizure. He's helped Dream endure countless seizures, both in the Vault and outside of it. He heard the creak of the archer's bow and bolted over to Dream just in time to guard him from an arrow. Instead of landing in Dream's skull, it sunk deep into Techno's mid-back.

Techno tried not to react to the sting. "Hey, Dream--"

Dream made a pained sound as the seizure took hold, his knees giving out and his shoulders spasming. His right shoulder twisted backwards while the left trembled uncontrollably. He fell fully into Techno's arms, his moans giving way to silence as he ran out of breath.

A second arrow hit Techno's shoulder. A third near the base of his neck. The swordsman, seeing his opening, lunged towards his blade.

They needed to run.

Techno gathered Dream's body in his arms and sprinted for the forest. With any luck, its disorienting effects could lend them an advantage. Dream's hands clawed into the fabric of his shirt, pulling it at odd, uncomfortable angles. Techno had to keep adjusting his grip as the young man squirmed and seized, desperate not to hold him too tightly and risk hurting him.

As soon as he couldn't hear arrows fly anymore, Techno ducked behind a large tree and set Dream on the ground, hunching his body protectively over him. If that damn archer found them again, he'd see nothing but piglin.

"Breathe through it," Techno instructed, his own breath heavy from the exertion.

Dream met his eyes. Sometimes he seemed lucid throughout the seizure while other times he seemed more unconscious. This time, his gaze was watery and heartbroken, but intelligent. "Te-- Tech-- Tech--"

"I said breathe, not talk, nerd." Techno placed a hand on Dream's shoulder, rubbing along the fabric of his jacket slowly. "Relax."

Fully encompassed by Technoblade's body, half-buried in snow, and surrendering to a seizure, Dream looked so small.

"You're--bleeding--" Dream coughed, his voice strained as his jaw tightened.

"And you're seizin'. I'd say we're both doin' pretty great."

"I'm--"

"Dream. Hush."

"I'm--sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorr--"

Techno bowed his head until their foreheads touched, letting his eyes fall closed. They'd ride this out together, like they always did.

"--sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

[travelingthief]

Hermes Offerings and Devotions

Offerings

Keys

Dice

Playing cards

Coins

Rocks/pebbles

Playing jacks (UPG)

Bouncy balls (UPG)

Lucky charms (Cereal)

Rabbit's foot

Horse shoe

Magic 8 ball

Coffee

Energy drinks

Herms

Road trip snacks (I like Hostess donuts)

Airplanes/trains/cars imagery

Foreign/new foods

Trail mix

Peanut m&ms (UPG)

Turtles

Lyres/string instruments

Sandals/shoes/running shoes

Journals

Camping gear

Survival gear, like multitools, fire starters, first aid kits etc.

Pens/pencils

Small (stolen) trinkets

Language dictionaries

Work out gear

Panpipes

Postcards

Letters

Mail

Stamps

Envelopes

Zodiac signs

Sheep/goats

Car parts

Backpacks/drawstring bags/bags

Crocos

Sticks

Saffron

Sticks

Board games (UPG)

Dominos (UPG)

Pick up sticks (UPG)

Books

Cups

Scales

Dream journals

Graveyard dirt

Cookie fortunes

Foreign money

$2 Bills

Dollar coins

Marbles

Travel souvenirs

Bikes/skateboards/skate

Old licenses/IDs

Sport trophies/jerseys/jackets/gear

Wings/feathers

Letters/numbers

Video games

Magic kits

Oranges/Lemons (UPG)

Devotional Acts

Write letters

Go for walks

Run

Road trips

Learn about alchemy, astrology, lucid dreaming/astral travel, astronomy, etc.

Learn basic car maintenance (change a tire, jump a car, change air filter, check oil etc.)

Give money/socks/cigarettes/water/food to panhandlers

Go talk to a panhandler and keep them company for a bit. I usually smoke a cigarette with them (only time I smoke) and just chat.

Pranks

Public speaking

Tip well

Stargazing

Geocaching

Learn new language

Learn ASL

Work out

Drive safely and predictably

Use your blinker fools

Bike/skate

Clean your car

Make a travel altar

Get a passport

Travel

Practice keyboarding

Have a penpal

Train your voice

Magic tricks

Check your mail/email regularly

Low risk gambling, like lotto tickets

Riskier gambling if you're mindful of it

Make sigils

Have a race

Play a tag

Be nice to wait staff

Play sports

Make maps of trails near you

Make maps of whatever you want

Play uke/string instruments

Make herms

Carpool

Uphold confidentiality

Coin tricks

Be a reliable worker

Thrifting/yard saling

Dumpster diving

Making trades and barters

Help look for missing people/pets

[theminecraftbee]

Joel stares at the ceiling. It’s sure a hospital ceiling alright. Grey tiles, fluorescent lights, a steady beep in the background. Great. He’s in the hospital his first day in town. He’s sure that bodes well for the future of his time in Hermiton, truly. What had he been saying to himself before he arrived? That he just had to survive one more year of high school and then he could go be a hermit in the woods or at least pass his exams to get that architecture degree he used to dream about.

“Oh, you’re awake! You’re the last to wake up. It’s just exhaustion, don’t worry. That always happens the first few times you summon your Persona. Your body gets used to it and stops trying to force you into the ground the moment you enter Real Space again eventually.”

He tries very hard not to groan out loud. If he doesn’t move or make any noise, maybe the weird guy won’t notice he’s awake. Maybe he’ll go away and like, whatever adult in town is currently supposed to be in charge of him will show up and sign some paperwork and Joel can leave.

There’s a long, awkward silence.

“You know, I can tell you’re awake. I already said so,” the stranger says.

“Shut up, I’m trying to make you go away,” Joel says.

The stranger snorts. “What, you don’t want information on your two friends you apparently risked your life to save?”

Joel… would kind of like that information, actually, but he’s not just going to say so.

“It’s not like I know them. I’ve been here five days. Idiot,” Joel says.

“I don’t know. Seems a lot like you know them,” the stranger says. “You’ll probably get to know them even more soon, after we do an assessment to make sure it’s safe for you all to enter Altered Space. It’s just been me and Scar for so long, I didn’t think other Persona users would ever show up!”

“What,” Joel says. “I don’t believe in Personas. They’re stupid. I was lucid dreaming. This is stupid.”

“Can’t you still hear yours? I think I’d go insane if I stopped.”

Yes.

“No.”

“Well then, maybe you’re the weak one. A strong Persona user would definitely still hear their Persona,” the stranger says, and look man, Joel doesn’t want to be doing this, but he can’t let ‘maybe you’re the weak one’ stand. It’s a matter of honor. Of pride.

“No, buzz off. I’m the strong one. I didn’t just awaken Pygmalion, I kicked ass using Pygmalion. Stupid Skizz and Impulse passed out immediately. And I was the only one who knew how to get to Skizz so, so, screw you, I’m super strong with your fake brain ghost thing.”

The stranger is quiet for a long moment. “Did you say you knew how to get to Skizz?”

“Yeah you just follow the evil butterflies. You should know, since you’re crazy,” Joel says.

“Oh my god,” the stranger says. “Oh my god. This changes everything.”

Something sinks in Joel’s stomach. “Wait, what does that—”

“I have to go tell Mr. Hills. Meet us when you get out of here, a doctor should let you out once you’re awake! But I have to tell him! Being able to preemptively find entrances to Altered Space! Fighting off a shadow and rescuing people your first time summoning a Persona! Me and Scar won’t have to be alone anymore!”

“No, I, uh, was lying, stop that,” Joel says unconvincingly.

“See you!” the stranger says.

“You forgot to tell me what happened to Skizz,” Joel says, finally sitting up to try to stop the stranger, but it’s too late. He’s already gone. Joel stares blankly after the space where he’d once been.

“You also forgot to tell me your name, you moron,” Joel says weakly.

He buries his head in his hands, breathes, and calls the nurse. If his strange classmate isn’t going to tell him what’s actually happening, then Joel’s going to find out for himself.

(Power throbs beneath a scar on his hand. A voice whispers agreeing remarks in the back of his head. He has way too many aches and pangs for last night—or, well, however many nights ago it was now—to be fake. But for now, he just wants to know Skizz is okay and go back to his stupid apartment and pretend none of this happened. Is that too much to ask?)

[peggyao3]

Relic - Pt. 6 "Hungry, all the Years"

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Unnamed Ambiguous FMC

SUMMARY: ✧༺༻ Dreams are messages from the deep ༺༻✧ A woman from the unknown comes to Feyd in his dreams and his nights become his days as he flees to the dreamscape to escape the nightmares that haunt his waking hours.

TAGS: 18+, smut, she/her AFAB FMC, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, Porn with Plot, Feyd-Rautha's black cum, Feyd-Rautha's big cock, Praise Kink, Body Worship, angst/hurt and comfort, drama, fluff, Frank Herbert would frown, some politics, implied/referenced (child) abuse ❗, Trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts ❗, Healing, Strangers to Lovers, falling in love, Vulnerable!Feyd, Emotional!Feyd, Possessive!Feyd, Feyd is a sweet baby who did nothing wrong and I WILL pamper him, nurture not nature, Stockholm Syndrome but in a consensual way, lucid dreaming, implied/referenced cannibalism ❗, implied/referenced murder

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

A/N: I've always wanted to yell fuck you at the Bene Gesserit, so here's to my own dream🥰 Also, me, who's been in awkward long distance relationships throughout all her teenage years: "Aahh, I knew this knowledge would come in handy someday! 🥹"

Reposted from my Ao3 💕| Masterlist under construction ⚠️| Relic Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

← Previous Chapter, Next Chapter →

Wallach IX, one week later

"Kneel."

"Excuse me?" Incredulously, the relic stares into the Reverend Mother's eyes.

The anticipation of this day has left her sick to her stomach, her mind hysterical since she was made aware that Feyd remembers her and wants her. By noon, she will be on a heighliner. (A  heighliner! She remembers Feyd's inquiry from their last dream.) And after two days of travel, she will be with him. For the first time ever, she will be truly with him, kiss his sweet lips and be held by him and bawl her eyes out.

This is not how she imagined the hours before her indefinite departure. The reverend mother sits unmoving like a pillar of obsidian in a slant of sunlight, her face hidden beneath black mesh.

"Kneel. This is your final test."

"I'm not part of this order anymore, I won't partake in any tests."

"That is not up for you to decide."

"I will not kneel."

"Do as I say!"

Without a power of will, she falls on her knees, ears ringing, jaws slackening. No hatred has ever burned colder than the rancor she holds in the pit of her stomach right now. From the corner of her eye, she perceives a flash of metal slipping from the reverend mother's robes.

"I hold at your neck the Gom Jabbar. A poisoned needle. The slightest prick, and you will die."

The wayward woman holds the violence of a lifetime on war-riddled Old Earth in her eyes when she inhales, the rise of her shoulders bringing her neck dangerously close to the poison tip.

"Why?"

"That needn't interest you." She has not been and will not be informed about the breeding program, or else, they fear, she might abandon her precious Feyd-Rautha rather quickly. Their union must be under the dangerous premise of love. And yet, the test must be conducted. Most likely it will even make her desire Feyd-Rautha more and let Giedi Prime be more bearable. That and the fact that the sisterhood has purposely been withholding the yearning transmissions from the na-Baron. The relic is ready to do just about anything to get to the man of her delusions.

"Put your right hand in the box. If you pull it out, you die."

"What's in there?" She grates out, peering into the black maw of the unremarkable metal box.

"Pain," Mohiam replies monotonously, having grown almost bored of the ever same test throughout the decades. Of course, the woman will pass. Patiently, the Reverend Mother waits for her to relent, because of course she will. It is a tiresome game. The needle at her neck remains unwavering. 

She is thinking, of course, she could risk death out of spite, but she refuses to die before taking Feyd in her arms. So, she places her hand in the box and earns her place on the chess board as a fully carved figurine.

The box is empty. She moves her fingers around and is soon plagued by a phantom sting which swiftly develops into pricking needles. She lets out a grunt and the sensation becomes a slow cutting, like knives probing into her palms and fingers. Her face twitches, brows furrowing, sweat beading on her upper lip as her body goes rigid, fighting against the urge to pull back. A thousand knives now cut into her palm, ravaging the soft flesh and tearing it to shreds. She screams.

"Quiet."

"Fuck you!" She spits, having already concluded that not the box causes the pain, but an unspoken presence of the Reverend Mother's voice does, explicitly addressing her pain receptors in an increasing onslaught. To know that nothing is in the box doesn't make the pain any less real, nor the nauseating truth that she is being tortured at the whim of a person.

So, she sobs like an animal while enduring the cruel test, scorched, flesh-stripped fingers quivering against the cool metal. She will live to hold Feyd in her arms and she will live to burn down this universe with its thinly veiled slavery and misogyny. On Earth, at least everyone had been equally miserable.

The Reverend Mother conceals her dislike of the unpleasant sounds under her veil, noting how petty it is of the woman to torture her ears in revenge. She is a clever thing.

"You may remove your hand."

She does at an instant, hurtling backwards and standing tall, nostrils flaring as she regards the seated reverend mother. The neurobiologists from Magellan II would have had the time of their lives, dissecting the old woman's brain to decipher the voice. To imagine Mohiam without her ominous headgear on a dissecting table brings the relic an indecent burst of glee through her tormented nerves.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" She spits.

"Not at all. I'd prefer if you used your voice in a different, more useful way. But at least now we know that you are human." The reverend mother pats the box once.

"Oh." She speaks with pure disdain. "A generous conclusion."

"And you may board the heighliner to Giedi Prime. Feyd-Rautha will await you." 

"Yes, I will. And yes, he will!" To think that she's had more agency in a dream than in this new world is revolting.

"Pack your things."

"I want my necklace and I want my Sarcophagus. Don't you even think about denying me that wish," she bristles. "I am a human and I've been one even before your inhuman test. These things are of sentimental value and they belong to me. Give them to me!"

"This attitude won't get you far on Giedi Prime," Mohiam drones monotonously, hands folded in her lap with annoying calmness. Under other circumstances, she would have never let a pupil of hers enter a battlefield as harsh as Giedi Prime so unprepared, but if one can believe the fierce messages from Feyd-Rautha to Wallach IX, she will be protected enough.

"I'm human," the relic rages on. "But you and your pseudo-religious cult, you are not human. You are even worse."

Everything will be better once she is on Giedi Prime.

Giedi Prime, Day 1

For the past few days, Feyd has done nothing but counting down the seconds to this precise moment. But as soon as the shuttle from the heighliner comes sweeping down through the blanket of clouds, hammering anxiety punches against his insides so hard, he feels sick to his stomach. His pulse races against the high neck of his uniform and dizziness forces him to fight for every breath.

He has been walking through a nightmare for two years and the past week has been the awakening. Like a sleeper aware of his own dream, he had screamed, kicked, killed to free himself from the shackles of his nightmare.

When he first heard the rumors, he had cried for three hours in the solitude of his quarters, then plunged his blade into his own thigh to snap himself out of it. There had been real fear in his uncle's eyes when Feyd confronted him, declaring that the relic is his and he will kill every servant, every guard, until he has her, and himself if he cannot have her.

Luckily, the Baron and the Bene Gesserit have been unexpectedly forthcoming.

So, after waking up, here comes reality. Sweet and frightening and lurid.

Feyd's heart clamors so loudly, he thinks he's going to die.

Wind whips around the landing pad and through his clothes when the shuttle touches down 200 meters away and hot exhaust gasses are released from the valves with a hiss. He almost jumps but forces his posture into a rigid lock, feet set shoulder-width apart.

The ramp drops with a mechanical buzzing and Feyd's stomach drops with it. Suddenly, he viscerally wishes he had more time and could prolong the anticipation, the preparation, the hiding. He hasn't prepared himself at all for her arrival, he now realizes, hasn't even considered what to say, how to greet her in front of three battalions of soldiers and generals. What will she think of him when she sees him for the first time in the flesh? Will she be disappoin- Oh God, there she is. 

That must be her. Is that her? It's her!

After half a dozen staff, a figure  exits the ship, clutching her little coffer so tightly in front of her hips, like it's the only thing of identity she has in the entire universe. 

As she slowly walks, her gaze swivels across the mass of bald heads, identical like an army of clones, unmoving, devoid of color and every sense of individuality. She jumps fiercely when the black and white mass suddenly bellows and a thousand pairs of arms fly up, hands clutched over bald heads.

Seeing the troops (all men) lined up in formation, saluting fiercely, a glacial shiver rolls down her spine, reminding her viciously of one of the darkest chapters of Earth. 

She swallows her fear. The first impression isn't that important. This world will have its good sides and Feyd will show them to her. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. She believes now that he could have rescued her off every planet in this world.

Yearningly, her gaze bounces from head to head. She had thought she would recognize him immediately and is terribly ashamed when she doesn't. At least, her frantic overwhelm distracts her from the roiling of her stomach. She thought she was going to throw up from anxiety on the shuttle, and she would have, had they not ushered her down the ramp immediately after landing. 

Cool metal brushes comfortingly against the space between her breasts. Around her neck she wears a slender cord of silver links with a slim cuboid for a pendant, about the size of the first phalanx of a thumb.

She is being led down a corridor of saluting men, all grim faces, and wind whips around the long gown she was advised to wear. If only she had decided  to wear something she feels more confident in. She's meticulously prepared what to say to him for the past days, arranging every word in her head to perfection, but now she can't remember a single word of Galach for the life of her– There he is! 

There he is. There he is. There he is!

At the end of the corridor stands Feyd-Rautha in formal military livery, blocky shapes hiding all the softness of his body, only his face betrays him, full lips exactly how she remembers them, soft cheeks dented by the hollow below his cheek bones, gently curved jaws and blue eyes hidden beneath the shadows cast by thick brow bones. He looks like a frightened animal to her, throat bobbing repeatedly with dry swallows.

The deafening roar of salutes dies down to a distant buzzing as she walks through a tunnel towards him, steps quickening, vision blurring. She tries to smile and her cheeks feel awkward doing it, she doesn't know where to look. Feyd doesn't smile back, but his head tilts backwards, jaws flexing as if he's holding back either tears or words.

She cannot hug him in front of all the generals, Feyd thinks. I will break down if she does.

Without thinking, she runs the final meters and hugs him in front of all the generals, arms wrapping around his neck and shoulders, sobbing into the collar of his suit. "Hello." Her accent is thick and lovely.

"Hello."

Feyd knew he would break down. His chin quivers uncontrollably, jaws so tight that he thinks the tendons in his neck might snap any second. He exhales a harsh breath, arms wrapping around her waist, leeching the warmth of her body that sinks through the layers of dress and suit.

Feyd holds her, holds her so tight and her flesh, skin and bones are actually real, her beating heart is real, her soft voice is real. She is real.

"You're here," he whispers almost inaudibly into her ear, face lowered to press against the side of her head, chin hidden in her shoulder.

She cries like she's not ashamed of crying, nodding fiercely, and each nod is an apology and a promise to never leave him again.

Feyd wants to tell her how much he's missed her, how much his soul has craved hers every waking and sleeping hour of every day, how he's been split apart and nothing in the world could soothe him. But he cannot, not now, because they are not dreaming and he is Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

"Not now-" he pleads and tries to stop her when her face slips in front of his, her cheeks painted with glittering tears, but her mouth is on his before he can finish, kissing him with salt-wet lips, hands clinging to the nape of his neck.

Of course, he kisses her back. Luckily, his longing is so all-consuming that he kisses her like he wants to crawl into her flesh, so he will never be alone again. With both hands splayed across her cheeks and ears, claiming his woman, none of his people will perceive him as weak.

The soldiers and generals don't know the pair's story, but they salute for their na-Baron, because they know the relic from Old Earth is now property of House Harkonnen.

In a world devoid of color, she would have expected the interior to be vibrant and bright to make up for the lack of it under the sun, but every hallway they have traversed has been even bleaker than the outside, like being swallowed by the underworld, if the underworld was made of concrete and plastic.

The throne room is no different. Curved pillars curl up to the tall ceiling, black within black illuminated by bluish glow provided by floating lights (glowglobes!) Feyd and her and a small entourage of guards and servants are gathered here and she stands in the very front, having refused to let go of her coffer when a servant had demurely offered their hand. She hopes her Sarcophagus is being handled with care.

Feyd is one step behind her and from her peripheral vision, she sees him rigid as a board.

Like instructed, she bows before the Baron Harkonnen, determined not to show any judgment for his harrowing appearance, like gluttony personified with sly, glittering eyes nearly hidden behind folds of fat.

"The relic from Old Earth…" The Baron rumbles and she sees that as her signal to straighten herself.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she says and Feyd's jaw twitches.

"A pleasure?" The Baron chuckles. "Old earth must have been terrible then."

What is she supposed to say to that? Sweaty palms clutch the handle of her coffer and her gaze is momentarily drawn to a movement in the corner of the room behind the Baron's floating chair.

Nebulous eyes blink at her from the shadows, hidden in darkness, but she can tell it is a thing with too many legs. (Or are they arms?) Eight of them, and they unfurl grotesquely, glossy skin shimmering like jet black rubber. The pair of white eyes seems to be looking directly at her and this thing will haunt her nightmares, although it appears almost tame next to the faceless legions that had welcomed her at the landing pad.

The Baron speaks again, forcing her attention back to him. "I've only allowed this union because my dear Feyd has been in such a somber mood as of late, he has been such unpleasant company."

The thing in the back stirs and wildly scuttles and she realizes they're not arms or legs, they are arm-legs with hand-feet attached to them. Feyd inhales sharply behind her, just loud enough for her to hear. The arachnid creature halts and blinks and then decides to abandon its advance and return to the shadows.

"I understand," she says, determined to hide the fact that she doesn't.

The Baron takes a slow drag from his hookah and reclines, looking at her like she is nothing more than a pesky, necessary evil.

Feyd walks at the side of his woman, feeling lighter the further they get away from the Baron, though his breathing is still that of an animal in distress. He walks stiffly (actually, he prowls), overseeing the entire entourage. His right hand hovers over the blade he carries at the hip under his suit jacket, ready to slay anyone who dares to come near her.

Something terrible has been irking him but he refuses to think about it.

Meanwhile his woman's eyes are all over the bulky, coffin shaped container that is being carried to her new chambers by ten servants, following every step with anxious concentration. She wants to jump forward and help carry it, if only to place a protective hand on her sarcophagus, but she remains at Feyd's side, intimidated by the ten men who kindly do her heavy lifting.

"This is my wing," Feyd quietly explains as they step out of the third elevator. They must be quite at the top of the pyramid shaped building by now. She nods, quite relieved that she will be living close to Feyd. "My suite is right next door."

The corridor is black and austere, walls made of  bulky, thick plastic panels, intersected every now and then by slender windows that give way to the view of grey citiscape and factories as far as the eye can see. 'It's not that different from home', she tries to keep the creeping, crawling dread at bay.

The ten helpers turn into a room which opens to Feyd's hand tapping a panel on the wall.

"Over there, right in the sun is perfect, please. Thank you! Oh- Careful please!" 

With a loud clang the cryo pod is set on the ground in a patch of color-stealing sunlight that slants through the window. The helpers say nothing, merely salute and scurry away in a tight line when Feyd jerks his head. "Thank you!" She calls after them again.

That is one less worry. Exhaling loudly, she sits down right on top of the sarcophagus, unbothered for now by the monochromatic light. Under the confines of her gown, she has been shaking the entire time. The door whirrs shut and they are alone. Finally alone. Feyd stands in front of her, hands clutched in front of his pelvis.

"You don't need to say thank you to the slaves."

"The…? Oh." The corners of her mouth twitch downwards and she draws up her shoulders, pulling her little coffer in her lap.

What a horrible place to be. The only women she has seen so far haven't even looked at her, standing behind the Baron with their faces turned to the ground.

What a horrible place to be a woman.

"Do you know who that man was, in the audience chamber?" Feyd cannot keep himself from asking any longer. She saw his uncle. Knows what he did to him. Somehow, his own shame weighs a millionfold now and Feyd wants to crawl out of his own skin, so she won't have to touch the same body his uncle has touched.

Her attention snaps back to Feyd. "What?" She is briefly perplexed. "You mean… The Baron?"

"Yes. You know that's my uncle I've told you about, right? My uncle is the Baron."

She sits dumbstruck on her cryo pod, frozen before heat fills her face and bile gathers in her throat. She has never been so ashamed in her entire life.

"Oh shit, I-, I assumed the Baron is your father, because of the last name." Feyd had never mentioned his uncle's rank, nor had the Bene Gesserit deemed it necessary to inform her about their family relations. And why would they, assuming the relic is well-informed about the man from her dreams. "I'm so sorry, oh God- Feyd…"

Feyd is so stupidly relieved, he could cry. Looking to the side, he blinks the tears away, fighting the urge to sink his blade into his own flesh to stop the onslaught on his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry," she mumbles again and abandons her coffer and sarcophagus to wrap her arms around Feyd's middle without thinking about it too long. "Please forgive me."

Perhaps the reverend mother was right. Perhaps she is of lesser intelligence for favoring science over politics. After learning that her Feyd lives now, she had meant to study House Harkonnen until her departure, but had gotten lost in the physics of the three-dimensional incarnation of the Holtzman Effect which allows to fold space at the quantum level and enables faster-than-light travel with the aid of human computers.

Feyd's arms curl tightly around her back, nose buried in her shoulder, pressing her against his earthly prison so she can deliver him from evil.. How stupid he was to bring her here into the devil's den, where she is the easiest target one could possibly make.

"Nothing to forgive…" He wants to call her his darling, his beloved, and even more importantly finally verbally declare his love for her that's been like a wild, scared animal sitting in a cage all the years, but a heavy shyness ties his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Without the protection of the cage, what if this animal will be slain? What if it will slay itself?

I had been hungry, all the Years – My Noon had Come – to dine – I trembling drew the Table near – And touched the Curious Wine … - I had been hungry, all the Years by Emily Dickinson, 1891

A/N: Feyd: I've literally never had a loving interaction irl in my entire life and I'm terrified, but this is my woman🥺

FMC: I'm literally on a black and white planet full of space Nazis, my man is one of them and I'm terrified, but this is my man🥺

TAG LIST: @welliah, @nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @charmingballoon, @sebastianswallows, @minedofmoria, @flower-frog (I'm so sowwy, the tags are broken and I don't know how to fix them ;-;)

Do let me know if u want me to tag u 👉👈

[chiliyue-archived]

Self care

↬dressing his wounds/scars

includes; dazai x gn!reader

entry; ❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

[Event Navi | M.list] | [Bsd M.List] ♡

dazai wanted to chagrin.

the scars littering his arms gawk back at him tauntingly, provoking a surge of memories to consume him in a numbing pulp. but it was hard to remain wrap in his own demons, not when he felt compelled to copy the smile plaster on your lips. it was the very one he came to be smitten over.

you were seated in his lap, the bathroom too tiny to accommodate the pair of you but he hardly seemed dejected by it. if anything, a grin began to play on his lips when you held onto his shoulders for support, shifting until you got a good angle to work with. " hold still."

he nods, waiting patiently as you brush your lips on his nose and reel away. he stops the urge to bring you back, finding content in just having you close with a hand settling on your back.

he does revel at the glances you steal from him - attention divided between dressing the molded wounds and risking a look. he relishes in the way you display a lift in your lips whenever you catch his familiar brown orbs - only for him to poke your cheeks before you could stray too far from your adjective. and when you went to brush aside the loose hairs that tickle your forehead, his hand was already in the process of tucking it behind your ear for you. his fingers linger a second longer each time - reluctance growing like a tide before holding onto your shoulder.

" my own personal nurse," he sighs, leaning close enough to press his lips on some part of you. the laugh you sent him was infectious.

he found it terribly even cuter, however, how your face became scrunched up as you handle the materials with foucs or when the putrid waft of antiseptic permeated your cramped bathroom. he was sure to kiss the pinched area whenever he saw the crease form, brightening in how it disappears. but internally he prays this wasn't the work of a lucid dream.

the hands on his face tell him otherwise, your thumb trailing the apples of his cheeks and reminding him that you're right there with him.

it was almost easy to forget how vulnerable he was setting himself up to be. almost.

" i'm gonna start."

the grin that found itself on his lips when you first cuddled up nearly fades as soon as you start fiddling with the gauze in your fingers, peeling back his shield and revealing flesh that has been long voided of light. it was instead replace with an anticipatory flutter in his heart, trompering in his sternum as though ero's own blessing was bestowed upon him in that moment.

" does this hurt?" he watched as you carefully ran your fingers over the scars - almost ghostly in its approach.

"it doesn't," he admitted.

"perfect."

and for the first time in so long, skin that has been starved of human touch became filled with vitality again. he wanted to shudder at the exposure, and he felt as though your reassuring rubs were the only thing keeping him from running away. he was so accustomed to patching himself up that it almost felt unreal to how welcoming your touch was.

even when he supposedly got use to it, he still has to suppress the urge to recoil when you feather against him for nth time, shivers riveting along with his spine and eyes squeezing shut.

your hands were so much softer than his, he mentally notes. he couldn't help but be mildly entranced when you handle the material with a steadiness unmatched to his own. you were treating him far better than he has ever and will presumably ever treat himself.

" you're getting distracted." he remarks with a poke to your forehead when he catches you staring again. it was futile to resist the twitch in his mouth that when you bat your eyelashes at him, an unsullied face gleaming unapologetically.

"sorry, you're just handsome." he swallows the lump in his throat but he was powerless to subdue the warmth that flickers in his chest cavity, meandering to the other cold parts in his body.

a form of silence furnishes the bathroom as you coil the new gauze around his arms, mindful to not produce any discomfort. it takes everything in his willpower to not shake when you lean down to capture the covered area in a kiss.

"do you find me handsome with these scars?"

dazai finds himself sucking in a breath when you smile against his second skin. "even more so."

"not many would agree with you."

he blinks when you suddenly shift the limb in your hands, sparing only a quick glance at him as you shuffle closer. and you really surprised him this time. very quickly, his pensive gaze dissipates with a shiver trembling along his body, fingers flexing in your grasp when you capture his knuckles this time in a kiss.

he swore he felt the breath in his throat was about to squeeze away, brain too hazy to recognize anything else. his stupor was accentuated when you blinked at him, irses meeting his own through your eyelashes.

" they're wrong."

"you're so certain?" you nod, moving to kiss the corner of his mouth.

in an effort to garner control the situation, he hand slips to clasp your chin gently, maneuvering your head until your lips met. you savor the way his breath prickles your lower lip, something akin to a breathy hum emulating from him. it's timbre ricochet along from the chaste kiss, jolting your nerves.

you're too engrossed in the exchange to notice the way his fingers weaved into your palm properly, exposed wrist meeting yours. he lets out a sigh as he felt the pulse echo against his, rhythm growing in sync to each other perpetually.

when he withdrew, he didn't let you get too far, a hand resting on your nape and keeping in proximity. his pinky and thumb played with baby hairs, lazy motions in contrast to his palpitating nerves. he was close enough to rest his forehead on yours, eyes peering down to watch you dress the rest of him.

"now, just relax and let me take care of you. okay?"

"okay." you saw him smile in the corner of your eyes, paired with a squeeze of your hand. you couldn't help but reciprocate the same gesture, and once again, the same tickling came to fill his barren husk. he smiles, reaching out to sweep your loose strands aside when it came to sweep over your eyes again but he stills when you capture the limb in your hand. he blinks hard as you adjoin it to your lips, placing a butterfly kiss on each pad.

"you have the most beautiful hands and fingers." he freezes knowing if he wasn't cautious he could reach the cusp of breaking down at any moment. "i could hold your hands forever."

as though proving your point you offer him a tight squeeze - but inwardly the squeezing of his chest was far more pronounce.

he attempts to collect himself with an exaggerated breath. "you're too good for me," he whispers. "i might get addicted to this."

your lips brush on his forehead and he almost shakes, unable to do nothing more than recline into you until it was just impossible.

"good" you hum. "you're also very pretty."

for the first time since he entered the bathroom, a swatch of red began to streak his cheeks. it certainly felt inevitable now with your ceasless antics, not that he didn't complain - the guilty and almost shaky grin that came to his lips was telling of that. notably; it was absent of the mischievous gleam that commonly orbits him; instead, it spoke both of his gratitude and effervescent affections that brew rampant the more you indulge him.

dazai allows his head to fall forward; forehead meeting your collarbone. his fanning breath reminds you of his presence, even when he grows silent as you curl the bandges into its proper orientation. he angles his head just enough for his ear to rest right over your chest.

you could barely hear the words that left him, voice just loud enough to cut the calming ambiance. "you're pretty too."

the thrum of your heart echoing in his lobe, pair with the heedful glides of your hands reaches a form of pinnacle for him; weighing him down to the city of yokohama, in your shared tiny cramp bathroom and encompassing care, covering him with a duvet so thick he could feel his eyes grow heavy.

but he wonders if you knew just how heavy his heart was for you.

-

this was really out of my comfort zone and style but I really like it :) giving all lowercase a try ! i like how causal it feels

anyways, i have a lot of dazai works brewing (and some tecchou :>)

taglist; @eynnwwyjth @anqelically @seisitive @iheartpieck @seiiblue @averagebsdwatcher @solandis

be added or removed here ♡

[merakiui]

that monster under the bed concept with floyd is so yummy mera omg

and the return of serial killer floyd 😳😳😳😳

what happens if one day you wake up fully conscious in the middle of floyd fucking you???

and what if you got pregnant???

Sk!Floyd holding you down in bed by the throat and smiling so grossly wide at you because now he no longer has to commit to the whole "sleep paralysis demon" act. He tells you to be quiet and take it like a good little shrimpy. He thanks you for feeding him and letting him crash in your home while the police are out looking for him. Floyd was actually just planning to kill you, but you were so sweet for leaving snacks under the bed and allowing him to fondle you in your sleep because you thought he was nothing more than a part of your lucid dream. <3 now he's too attached to think about killing you. You'll let him stay, won't you? You're practically roommates at this point. Please let him stay. 🥺

With how often Floyd fucked you (a nightly occurrence) and the amount of times he's made sure to cum inside so you won't suspect anything's amiss, perhaps pregnancy is an inevitability. Maybe you find out before he reveals himself to you, and you're left wondering how this could have happened. You wonder if the man in your dreams is actually someone you've encountered in real life... you'll soon find out when you wake in the middle of him thrusting so gently in and out of you, his big, bulky frame looming over you in bed, and this time you're not woozy with sleep, still clinging to the tendrils of a far-off dream. Floyd pets your belly fondly, already fawning over you and the baby. You'll make a great Mama Shrimpy; he's sure of it.

You may struggle now. You may try to run from him. You may fear him. But Floyd won't hurt you. He might get a little rough, but he has to in order to keep you from running away or calling the police. He's very careful, though. After all, he doesn't want to risk harming the baby in any way. You'll warm up to him and everything else soon.

[lunentity]

𓉸✙ lucirinya ┈ a neurogender for those who have extremely lucid, controllable & tiring dreams, as well as how it’s tied into mental illness / neurodivergency. many of these dreams are also spooky & these sleeping patterns also heighten the risk for sleep paralysis.

𐔌 taglist ⦂ @smilepilled @squidfreak