#right on your ass
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.
like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been
#like you get why all the fics about those two are insane right. the narrative is just so goddamn compelling#and thats not even getting into the whole thing abt the serum curing steve of every ailment except his love for bucky#which makes him realize it was never an ailment to begin with (despite the commonly held beliefs about homosexuality in the 1940s)#and bucky being *electroshocked* again and again into forgetting steve#like howd you make your gay ass movie that gay and not realize it. its kinda impressive#sorry for the ridiculous stucky retrospective its 4am and i rewatched the winter soldier recently#its not that deep. its not its not its not . but if it was anything other than what it is it could have been. and thats the worst part#shut up riley#marvel#stucky
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I hope there’s an afterlife so that whoever made this pot 2,000 years ago can brag that their cookware is so good it’s still usable literally millennia later. Something about this object being lost for centuries and then rediscovered, and being put (successfully) to its original purpose again is so pleasing to me.
#'yeah that's right steve'#'my pots are still being used two thousand years later!'#'you know why yours aren't? because they're rusty pieces of SHIT that's why'#'eat my entire ass steve'
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you know how everything is like a hundred times funnier when you're not allowed to laugh??
#this is almost based on true events. once at a sleepover a friend of mine was in the most ABSURD sleeping position#and we COULDNT keep it together. we woke his ass right up by losing it the second he made a small noise in his sleep#the owl house#toh#my art#human realm hijunks#amity blight#luz noceda#vee noceda#willow park#yes they are used to this but have you considered: your friend sleeping is always going to be hilarious#comic
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Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.
Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.
That poster must be having quite the experience.
#politics#us politics#tim walz#for the record I am super fucking psyched for Walz#I think he did a great job#And I think Harris made the right call#harris 2024#Harris Walz 2024#jd vance#Vance is never beating the couchfucker allegations#The problem with your party making actual reality much less relevant in political discourse is that it can also bite *you* in the ass#Functionally it doesn't matter that JD Vance never bragged about fucking a couch#Because it got repeated so many times that now it's indelibly linked to him#If someone asked random people what they think when they see Vance I'd bet money one of the top 3 answers would be “had sex with a couch”#As it should be#Because it wouldn't have happened if his vibes weren't so atrocious that everyone immediately believed it
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Giving the black brothers the authentic sibling experience:
Sirius: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Regulus: having a drink...?
Sirius, taking the glass off him and guiding him to a seat: you've already had two, you're way too young to be drinking this much, your liver will up and leave your goddamn body
Regulus: you were doing this at fourteen, I am quite literally twenty
Sirius, convinced he's still thirteen: ......I don't think you are, Lulu
Regulus: firstly, that stupid name has been overused since we were ten, secondly, you're twenty-two, so do the maths.
Sirius: *calls narcissa* important question, how old is regs
Narcissa: twenty
Sirius: *staring at him in horror* ew
#cue me slowly sliding my sister some of my weak ass martini and watching to make sure she only has a tiny sip#'so your sister is 15 soon right?' no she's actually been 7 years old since 2017 so stfu#gonna start using the ridiculous nickname more#bc it's THE brother thing to do#regulus black#sirius black#marauders era#the black brothers#black brothers#the noble house of black
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Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!
#personal#my art#Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears.#do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse#to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!”#and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them#i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair#every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW#NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS#people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money#my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.
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British producers be like: THEM: "We love this! Let us put our heads together and get back to you early next week!" SIX MONTHS LATER UNPAID INTERN FOR THAT COMPANY: "Everyone you spoke to has been sacked, we hate you fuck off."
American producers be like:
THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON YOU'VE EVER MET: Hey kiddo do you wanna meet The Rock? Do you wanna meet Margot Robbie? Do you want to fuck my wife? I can't give you a job but gosh darn it you've got moxxy, let me put you in touch with Doug Bigcheese, the biggest producer in Hollywood! DOUG BIGCHEESE, EMAILING YOU BACK WITHIN 20 MINUTES: Hey kiddo, that guy said you're awesome! Lemme ask round town and in the meantime you can live in my house borrow my car and by the way have you met my wife?!
#acting#writing#producers#Americans Vs Brits#Americans are just so nice#Nobody has any work right now but gosh dang it the yanks have the right attitude#I think a lot of it is a generational thing too#British boomers seriously think taking 2 weeks to respond to an email is acceptable and I don't know how to tell them that that's just#too slow?!#You're leaving money on the table!#Maybe this is me coming from social media world where everything is instant#But the Americans#They just get it#They tell it how it is#They don't blow smoke up your ass#If you're not right they'll tell you and they'll help you out of the pure goodness of their cheese and apple pie hearts
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I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution
#i ask if anyone wants this job and everyone starts whistling and checking their phones#their magic phones. theyre scrolls#mia.txt#tes#skyrim#oh no wait i forgot j'zargo wants the position & actively tries to kill you (these are separate events but still probably not unrelated)#and nirya's gunning for it too. you know what maybe its a good thing im the archmage because im never there and don't do anything#i drop in every few weeks for 10 minutes then leave. the place pretty much runs itself right#reddit says “they have a bullying problem” yeah i know i married him#and he's the new boss' special little princess and he can do whatever he wants forever. call the police about it#dont bring your piddly ass problems to the archmage shes busy girlbossing (committing widescale atrocities)#(yes i know this is just how tamrielic mage guilds are but i just think its funny bc everyone fucking hates them specifically#like the rest of the town despises them and allegedly the nords have a special disdain for magic so its kind of funny that they make no#attempt to like. be more normal to gain the locals' trust#and you know what? good for them. fuck them nords)#ulothir#<- mentioned in the tags lmfao
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college is supposed to be a new start for danny: one in which his “work” life and personal life stay strictly separate. but when danny moves into his new gotham university dorm for the upcoming semester, his hopes are dashed. gotham is overflowing with lost souls, and they won’t leave him alone long enough for him to finish his damn physics homework.
when mr. and mrs. wayne offer him refuge in their old study, danny thinks he’d be stupid not to take it. he wasn’t expecting their house to still be inhabited, but whatever. he can blend into the background. he’ll do anything for some peace and quiet.
now if only he can convince martha to stop trying to out him to the rest of the family.
#ive had this prompt floating around for almost a year now#and i dont think it’s ever going anywhere#so merry christmas! ya’ll’re welcome to partake#encouraged even#danny phantom#tayscreams#dpxdc#dpxdc prompts#batfamily and danny shenanigans essentially#he’s working on the ghost issue in his free time alright#but gotham u is a public school he can’t just claim a haunt & then tell the ghosts that are already there to piss off#he just needs a few hours in the day to study. a place where his laptop won’t fritz and crash every 5 minutes#thank god for old ass family manors and concerned ghost parents#it’s not squatting if you go back to your dorm every night right
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"Tumor"
#HOLY SHIT AN ACTUAL SHITPOST???#NO WAY CHAT#THEY'LL THINK I'M CRAZY!!!#I was crazy once#anyway...#your girl is ganna go silent for a bit i needs a rest#+ college is right around the corner and they want a bite from my big fat juicy ass#LM animation#undertale yellow#uty#uty starlo#uty clover#undertale yellow clover#undertale yellow starlo#shitpost#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint
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POV they just told their da shixiong on you
#pov you’re boutta get your ass beat by a 4 ft of kickass#the image of these two tall muscular demons struggling in battle and turning to the tiniest member in their group for help is so funny to me#swk: I heard you were bullying my brothers >:T#and he’s like half their size glaring up at you#would shit bricks personally#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#journey to the west fanart#digital art#my art#sorry I haven’t posted anything substantial in a while#it’s my last semester and I’m really tryna stay on top of work so I can finally graduate or2#got this joke out tho lol#can you tell I really love my design of swk#I’m gonna pin that design cuz I want more people to look at it#I’m real proud of it sorry#oh right#zhu bajie#sha wujing#jttw zhu bajie#jttw sha wujing#oughhhh my back hurts… (<= old man)
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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#as far as I can tell this is an original quote?#thank you mr bagel for your bleak words#I literally doubled back to get a picture of this bc I wasn’t sure I’d read it right#disco elysium ass sign#photo#op
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Will graham after shamelessly admitting his infatuation with a serial killer to someone who works in law enforcement (repeatedly)
#“I wanted to run away with him’ babe if you don’t stfu they’re sending your ass right back to jail#hannibal#nbc hannibal#will graham#hannigram#hannibal lecter#nbc hannigram#hugh dancy#mads mikkelsen#mizumono
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silly stuff i drew while reading Feel No Evil by @payasita , in which the Lamb does not know how to propose, Narinder does not know how to be alive, and neither of them knows what an obligate carnivore is
bonus? lmao
#my art#cotl#i am looking into your soul with my huge autistic eyes. read this fic right now. blease#hksfdjghdfghldkfg im sorry it just fucking kills me that for the first 4ish chapters narinder is just. so nasty#like all the followers are like There He Is. The Leader's Favorite Guy. and its this filthy half-dead cat that hasnt bathed in 10+ years#like he has hardly eaten the entire time he's been mortal and he looks like absolute dogshit#and their unbeatable normally serene and gracious leadergod is hovering around his stinky ass like omg nari hiiiiii#its fucking hilarious to me. and also heartwrenching bc this fic does also get into how hard it is to be alive when uve never learned how#gonna draw the twins desperately bringing him soap later i just had so many things i wanted to draw for this
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