#right now having a serotonin attack

[justkillthetitan]

And we got them Eruri crumbs in the finale. WE WON.

[covingtons]

as someone whose top 5 artists have always contained one direction since the very first spotify wrapped, I thought I was prepared for the slide show but playing Back For You as they told me I have changed was absolutely DIABOLICAL

[solradguy]

When I wasn't distracted by Chinese? mobile gacha game Alchemy Stars today, I got a bunch of the Dengeki PS pages cleaned. ~30 left plus the 7 I need to rescan, so I'll probably finish this tonight.

[katiascraft]

"I'll pay the price i guess" | OP81

Parings: Oscar Piastri x famous!singer!reader.

Summary: the world hates you are dating Oscar.

Now playing: "Slut!" by Taylor Swift.

Word count: +1,3k.

Warnings: mentions of slu*, b***h, etc. pure fluff. Not a native English speaker so there could be errors. Not proofread.

Author's note: I loved writing this one 🥹 the boy that you at Osc. Don’t forget to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

Flashes were leaving you kind of blind right now. You and Oscar were invited to the Cannes festival because one of your best friends from the industry, Zendaya, invited you and your boyfriend to live the experience and see the premier of The Joker 2 movie - you absolutely adored Lady Gaga. Obviously you were so excited to be here. It was the both of you first time at the festival.

Photographers screamed at you to get pictures and made you look at them. It was a thrilling experience. You were more comfortable than Oscar with this. You came into the spotlight when you were only 17 years old with your first song that went viral on musically (TikTok of the past).

For that reason you were used to scrutiny that the media put you under. Social media was cruel to you. Everyone had an opinion on you and who you dated or not.

Oscar and you met back in 2023 when he was a rookie in formula one. You met at a party thrown in Monaco when you were on vacation. One of your friends knew Lando so you basically met because of him.

When you met Oscar you just couldn’t help but become obsessed with his Australian accent and his smile. Oh god - his smile. You fell in love with him right there hearing him giggle. You were completely flattered and he found you so adorable.

The chemistry between you two was unmatched. The way you both knew what you were thinking just by a look. The way he knew what you needed when you needed it. The way he knew his tongue will make you crumble on the bed. The way he made you grab the sheets until your knuckles went white. He was the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen. The hottest. And the sweetest soul in this world. Or at least in your world. The way he made you laugh was the serotonin you always needed to feel the happiest. And oh he knew it. He knew it all. He knew everything about you and he loved being your weakness as much as he enjoyed being yours.

Because of you being used to the spot lite. You knew it was best if you kept your thing a secret. He was new into all of the media mess and you didn’t want to be part of that. You didn’t want people to tear him down the way they did to you. You wanted to protect him. So he agreed to maintain your relationship a secret. You felt bad though. You wanted to scream to the world that you were his. And that he was yours. But you couldn’t let people destroy what you have. even as much as it hurt you.

Having a secret was nerve racking to you. You didn’t know when or how people could find out about your romance. Its was very stressful. But you had the time of your lives. It turned out to be even fun. A little tempting. You two always joked around and pretended to be friends or you hid where cameras couldn’t catch you. Most times you couldn’t be with him at the races and he couldn’t assist to your concerts when you went on tour. And that was the hardest part. Not being able to enjoy what he loved the most with him and viceversa. That broke you a little.

After being dating for a year already - you committed a mistake. You went to charle’s birthday party in Monaco. And the pictures went up online. The secret was over and the internet went mad about it. Everybody was talking about you two. Most comments were negative. People hated you two were together and happy.

That’s when you had your first panic attack. You knew how mc claren fans were about Oscar. They were so protective. He was the lover boy. The single one. The one everybody wanted. And now he wasn’t. He was yours. And the world hated it.

They called you so many things. Slut was the nicest comment on your comment section. Media was dragging you. Now everybody hated you. Since those photos came out you were the most hated person on the internet.

You and Oscar had such a rough time. He couldn’t bear how people could be so mean to you. He was hurt as much as you were. People were saying he was too good for you. But he thought otherwise. You were too good even for this cruel world. You didn’t deserve any of that shit. He was mad. The races after the pictures went up he almost didn’t do media. He answered shortly and with a poker face. He didn’t want to be part of it. And it didn’t matter. The only things that matter were you and what he did in the car. There were no need for further questions. People started hating on him for that. They said you were the problem. You made him mean and boring. You stole his light. They weren’t letting you win.

And you couldn’t believe what they said. In a world of boys he was such a gentlemen. The most caring and loving and empathic man you’ve ever known. People are cruel, so cruel. Your heart was broken.

But that didn’t end you. You knew you were end game. You were meant to be with each other. There wasn’t other way in this life. It was him. He was the one. The love you felt for each other was immense. You could get through this.

And you did.

“You okay baby?” He put you out of your thoughts with his sweet raspy voice intensifying his grip on you. You smiled widely at him. He smiled back at you. And in that moment you remembered why you were end game. You didn’t care about what people said. The only thing that mattered was him and you. Only you two against the whole world.

And if that meant to be a slut then it would be worth it for once. You didn’t care anymore. You would be the bitch of the country for him. And you know he would love it. He would love to see that people were mad in the head hating on you knowing how amazing you were. And only he did know. The world was gonna be fucked. You two were crazy that’s right. And crazy for each other too. What a thing you came to the Joker 2 premier.

You looked deep into his eyes “I’m all alright my pretty boy” you said quirky and he couldn’t resist it. He kissed you in front of the hundreds of cameras there were. You smiled in his lips. You were flustered. Red. He was the boy of your dreams. You really wanted a family with that man. He was everything to you. Photographers lost their shit there. The flashes intensified. And you felt so happy to be so open. To be real there with him. To not hide anymore.

You would take all of the hate of the world on your shoulders and enjoy it if that ment you two were gonna be together forever.

He giggled in your lips pulling apart. That melted your heart. You grabbed your dress a little so you could walk and he offered his hand. You took it and intertwined your fingers walking a little more into the red carpet. Lando and his girlfriend were ahead next to you on the carpet and they looked at you with a huge a smile. They also knew everything.

You could feel Oscar feeling so happy and proud to have you by his side.

“End game baby” he said proudly posing for the camaras grabbing you by the waist.

You fixed your hair a little smiling and posing “end game my baby boy” you said lovely making him kiss your head.

______________________________________________________

I hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send me your requests!

[aajjks]

The Conqueror (XXII)

Synopsis: He had conquered everything, anything but your heart.

Pairings: Yandere!King Jungkook x Commoner!servant Reader (FT. Cha Eunwoo From ASTRO.)

warnings: yàndèrè thèmès, blóód, únhèálthy pôsèssïvènèss, öbsëssïön.

note. I guess I will meet you in my inbox. ;)

taglist: @mageprincess7 @starsggukk @koremis @minshookie29 @sana-b @oonaaurora @jeonsweetpea @sugaslittlekookies @outro-kook @kthyg @lunaashes @debicaptain-saturn @laurynne5 @captainsjoongs @myblackconfessions @namjooncrabs @natalie-rdr @angelicasdre @mermaidtea @foulnightharmony @ungodlyjoon @quechulitaaa @telepathytae @j3alous-ang3l @bunzom @1-in-abillion @breadgeniedope @jiminie-08 @artgukk @lovesthetword @bunijmin @pinkcherrybombs @afangirllikeme-blog @twilight-love-nochu-main @wedarkacademia @hollxe1 @bighitfics @darkuni63 @golden-thv @investedreader @sweetempathprunetree @koocreampie

series masterlist.

Jungkook loves getting his hands all bloody, killing is like a serotonin boost for him, especially when he kills to get rid of any obstacles in his way of getting you.

It’s been a year since you arrived in the Palace.

Yet, the improvement you two have made in a year is, rather embarrassingly close to none currently.

Jungkook walks with heavy steps to see who is it this time, he’s going to get his hands all bloody once more, before your wedding which is soon. “PREPARE FOR ATTACK ON HIM IMMEDIATELY.”

The King along with his guardsmen make their way to the palaces gate, Jungkook feels rage course through his veins. “What is his name?!” He spits, voice full of anger as his steps echo on the ground.

The palace is so big, but they’re almost at the gate.

“Y-Your majesty we don’t know- but- he’s young, brown hair.” The guard replies, only fueling jungkooks jealousy.

Soon they’re all the gate and Jungkooks grip on his sword tightens, he wields his sword and walks straight through the gate.

People around the palace’s boundary are confused but they immediately lower their heads in respect, it’s dark outside, Jungkook looks for the man.

“BRING HIM TO ME!” He orders, eyes frantically moving all around the roads, and that’s when he catches a glimpse of the man.

“YOU FUCKER.” Jungkook runs to him and growls.

Jaehyun is definitely caught by surprise, his eyes wide like a ball, Jungkook begins to attack on him and Jaehyun tries to save himself, but the king manages to give the brown haired male a big cut on his arm.

Jaehyun can’t help but scream in agony as he sees the blood pour out of the cut, it hurts so much that his eyes are now full of tears, Jungkook smirks, the drops of blood quenching his burning thirst.

“Y-YOUR MAJESTY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! I’M NOT HERE TO TAKE HER!” Jaehyun tries to clarify. Jungkook rolls his eyes, “shut up boy. Do you think that you can fool me?” He grits his teeth.

Jaehyun grunts in pain, holding onto his bloody arm as he tries to make the bleeding stop. “Y-Your majesty please! I-I’m here for someone else.” He pants.

Jungkook raises his eyebrow, the guards grab Jaehyuns body as they hold him. “Who?” Jungkook questions.

The whole place fills with silence, occasional grunts from Jaehyun and his heavy breathing are the only sounds that can be heard.

He’s gathering his breath, Jungkook bites his inner cheek in annoyance.

“HURRY UP.”

“L/n Doyun.” He whispers and Jungkooks heart stops.

“TAKE HIM INTO THE DUNGEONS!” Jungkook roars in anger, his veins popping out as he screams.

Jaehyun looks into Jungkooks eyes.

“YN WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY! PLEASE FREE HIM!” His screams get quieter and quieter as the guards drag him away.

Jungkook lets out a growl in return.

No, you cannot find out. Not until you’re married to him and that’s when he will truly have his revenge and he will have you with him forever..

This needs to pass by really fast.

And he’s not worried about about the man finding Doyun because he’s being held captive right below this palace. And no one knows except for Jungkook and Dongmin.

Who is at the verge of death due to starvation.

Jungkook lets out a frustrated sigh and makes his way back into the palace.

Looks like he will have to pay L/N Doyun a little visit tonight.

You have no choice.

Your fate was already decided the day you caught Jungkooks eye.

 the whole palace looks regal to say the least, you have no words to describe the beauty of the palace, everyone is preparing for the grand wedding of the king.

It’s all so bright and magnificent.

You are being pampered against your will.

Right now, they are taking your measurements for your dress and undergarments for your wedding night like the older woman keeps telling you.

“M-Mrs Lee.. please.” You whimper, the measuring tape taking the size of your breasts, two court ladies hold you in please so your measurements can be perfect

She ignores your pleas.

“Perfect, my lady.”, the seamstress exclaims, her helpers follow her every lead.

“now we need my lady’s wedding dress in less than a week.”

The court ladies, maids, ladies in waiting- every single person in the palace are gossiping.

They are gossiping about your upcoming coronation. You don’t know what’s worse. You are Hoping that this wedding will not happen, but that seems to be impossible because the celebrations have reportedly already started in the whole kingdom.

It all makes you feel suffocated, you don’t want to marry that monster. He killed your father. He made you an orphan. How can you ever love your husband to be?

“leave me alone!” Na-yeon is by your side, making sure to keep an eye on you so she can report to Jungkook about every single move.

Everyone takes their leave, including Mrs. Lee and the seamstress with her workers

You don’t know the truth about her identity yet.

She’s gonna have to be careful.

“Yn.. my lady.. please calm down this is supposed to be the most greatest time in your life.” She sighs, helping you fix your clothes.

“greatest time in my life? This is the worst time in my life I want to die.”

You terribly miss your father you wish that he was still alive so he would come and save you from this monster.

It’s the midnight, the weather is getting colder. The winds are wild.

Jungkook is wearing his dark cloak, the cloak covering his whole figure as he walks with a flambeau in his hand as he makes his way to the secret staircase to the older dungeon hall.

It’s dusty, awfully dark.

Jungkook patiently walks towards the cell where his favourite captive is.

He smirks unlocking the cell and making his way into the dark small cell, Jungkook keeps the keys to himself personally, making sure that there is no way of escape

“Hello L/N Doyun… or should I say now.. my dearest father in law.”

[orphicdreamers-wp]

It’s Not Christmas Without You— Quinn Hughes

Summary: Your seasonal depression gets the best of your relationship leading to an awkward Christmas

Content Warnings: Seasonal depression, panic & anxiety attacks, use of antidepressants, ocd, chemical imbalance, angsty hughes brothers

Pairing; Ex Gf! Reader x Quinn Hughes

September

You had never quite understood why your brain felt so hardwired to the point you couldn’t comprehend anything happening around you. It affected everything you did, but no one could put their finger on why sometimes things got to be much for you it brought you to tears. For the most part, your boyfriend Quinn tried to help you but when the weather in Vancouver shifted just as he’d been named captain. He just couldn’t do it anymore, he tried but it was draining him.

You sat cross legged in the center of Quinn’s living room, reorganizing his CD collection for the third time this week. Quinn sighed as he entered his apartment, coming home from a rough roadie, all he wanted was to take a scorching shower and talk to you while you guys laid in his bed watching a cheesy movie. He didn’t utter a word as he walked past to his room and dropped his stuff off before returning to his living room and letting out a sigh, “The CDS haven’t magically moved since Tuesday dollface.”

You ignored your boyfriend, again. Quinn blew out a breath he’d been holding in for god knows how long, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He expected you to protest against him trying to break up with him, but you didn’t. Which somehow made Quinn more upset at the entire ordeal, “So your fine with just throwing away the last 6 years?” You kept quiet, knowing that if you dared to speak you would say something that you and Quinn couldn’t come back from. So you stayed silent as you stood up and slipped on your shoes and grabbed your coat and walked out of Quinn’s apartment and his life.

You returned to your shared loft with your friend Tess and finally let your composure fall. A wretched sob ripped through your chest as you leaned against the door and slid to sit against the wall. Tess hurried out of her bedroom and was at your side in seconds, “Oh honey. It’s okay.” You felt like someone was wrapping barbed wire around your throat, “I can’t, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. Something isn’t right Tess.” Your breathing began to quicken as your chest tightened. Tess rubbed your back reassuringly, “I got you.” You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing. Once you were calm you turned to Tess, “Quinn and I broke up. I think I need to go home and get help.” And that was exactly what you did.

You went back to Toronto and moved back into your childhood bedroom, went to a neurologist and found out that your brain had an insufficient amount of neurotransmitters which could play part in your moods. The doctor told you that you needed to boost your serotonin and dopamine levels and prescribed you antidepressants and referred you to a women’s mental health clinic. You noticed slowly that your mood became less negative and you were able to focus better. But you also noticed that you began to get thinner and no matter what you did it never seemed like you gained weight.

December

You were reluctant to go to the Hughes Christmas dinner, although Ellen had reassured you that you were more than welcome. You still had your bad days and didn’t know if being around Quinn would make you snap and you didn’t want to snap at him. So you told your mother you’d think about it but that she should go. Which she did. You mother and Ellen were in grossed in a conversation over linens when Luke finally mentioned you, “So I guess she really doesn’t have anything to say to you Quinn. She would never miss out on Dad’s meatballs.” Quinn shot his brother a glare as your mother spoke softly, “She’s just having a hard time right now, her meds are messing with her.” Ellen smiled solemnly, “How is she adjusting to her antidepressants?”

Quinn looked taken aback learning your on antidepressants now, “Is she okay?” Your mom smiled as she lifted her wine glass to her lips, “Her doctor told her she doesn’t have sufficient neurotransmitters and it’s a chemical imbalance in her brain that’s made her feel like this all these years. The doctor said there’s a good chance coupled with the harsh weather and seasonal depression that’s what made her feel so poorly. Nothing you could have done would have helped Quinn.” Jack rolled his eyes subtly, “So because she’s mentally not okay, we’re supposed to be fine with her destroying Quinn?” Ellen glared at her middle child, “Jack! If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say sit.”

You stared at the stack of wrapped gifts you had gotten for each member of the Hughes family. You sighed as you slid off the couch and pulled on a dark red sweater and some jeans and took the gifts to your car and made your way to the Hughes family home. You were unsure of what would happen when you walked in but you were facing your fears today. You rang the doorbell, not expecting Quinn to be on the other side of the door.

His eyes held an unreadable expression that you had grown to miss. You were almost positive that you had lost your voice when he spoke, “Hey.” You smiled, “Hi, you look uh great.” Quinn rubbed his neck as a deep blush rolled over his cheeks, “Thanks. You do too.” He took some of the gifts as you I walked inside the house and placed your gifts with the rest of the gifts under the tree. You slipped your coat off and hung it in the closet with the others. Quinn frowned ever so slightly when he took note of how the jeans that had once hugged your body in all the right places were loose on you and how you looked at him like you might break if you looked at him long enough.

Ellen’s voice rang out from the dining room, “Who was it honey?” You smiled warmly as you entered the dining room behind Quinn, “Hi.” Ellen’s eyes glimmered with excitement as she hopped up and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “We’re so glad you could make it after all. Right guys?” The Hughes men muttered out agreements. You sat down at the only empty seat which, as the universe was punishing you, was directly across from Jack with Quinn sitting beside you. Conversation flowed between you and everyone besides Jack and Quinn.

Jack spoke up in condescending tone, “So Y/N what have you been up to since you and Quinn broke up?” Jack let out a groan as Quinn swiftly kicked him underneath the table. You felt your smile drop, “I moved back home like 3 days after. I’ve been getting a lot of help. Working on understanding my feelings.” Jack hummed, “Seeing anyone? You sure are slimming down.” You tensed as you drew in a deep breath, “Nope. Wouldn’t be fair to a poor guy. I’m still in love with someone and I’m not sure relationships are for me. But can we just talk about your game against the Red Wings? I mean I was on my seat the entire time.”

Jack’s smirk fell, “You still watch my games?” You shrugged, “I watched Trev kick your ass. I also watched Quinn hand the Sharks the biggest loss. I didn’t stop watching hockey because I got broken up with.” You melted into Quinn’s touch as he placed a hand on your thigh. He mouthed inaudibly, ‘Thank you’ Dinner ended and Ellen insisted on going straight to presents. You smiled warmly as Jack and Luke opened their gifts from you. You You played more into a joke with Jack. It was a shirt that read ‘Straight Outta The Penalty Box.’ Jack’s gift sent his brother’s into laughter while Jack sent you a playful eye roll, “Now I know she actually watches my games still.” Luke’s gift seemed to be more fitting for him, he opened the box and ran his fingers over the soft tie that was adorned with red hockey sticks, “Thank you.” You smiled as Quinn picked up his gift from you, “I didn’t know what to get you so with my luck you’ll probably hate it.”

Quinn opened the box and his eyes softened as he looked at the gift, “You remembered. Why would I hate this?” He pulled out the large cooling weighted blanket. You barely remembered him mentioning wanting one. Apparently your subconscious remembered. Quinn’s eyes softened as you began to tidy up the wrapping paper as everyone continued to open gifts.

Without being noticed Quinn slipped into his childhood bedroom and opened his bag and pulled out a small gift wrapped box. He slipped it into his pocket and returned to the living room. His eyes immediately were on you as you clasped a necklace around his mother’s neck. Soon enough all the gifts were opened and Quinn spoke warmly, “I actually have a gift for you Y/N.” Your eyes widened, “O-okay.” Quinn slipped the small box from his pocket and placed it in your hand. By the size alone you knew it was jewelry of some sort.

You opened the box and your eyes widened and swelled with tears, “You can’t. Not with how horrible I was to you.” Quinn shook his head, “No I can. I have loved you since I have known you. I don’t care if your going through the worst thing possible. I love you and I just wanna be there for you no matter what. For the rest of my life. I want to be your husband. Marry me.” Your eyes welled, “I don’t know if I can give you the life you want Quinn.” Quinn shook his head as he pulled you closer to him, which you didn’t think was humanly possible, “The life I want is waking up to you pressing your ice cold feet to my legs to warm them up, the life I want is holding your purse so you can stop and pet every stray cat you see. The life I want is anytime and everything as long as you are there. You are the one good thing in my life.” You sniffled, “Fine I’ll marry you.”

[sigmasoyboy]

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS]

Was suggested on instagram to write from Gage's POV and thinking about how I would ever write from someone who's been essentially dog lobotomized actually got me thinking so hard I started writing. The formatting of this one is a reading nightmare but the never ending run-on sentence tightly packed into one block of text feels the most appropriate to a dog's inner thoughts so… You have to suffer for the sake of art™️

cw: ableist and misogynistic language, PTSD, panic attack, murder, vomit, loss of humanity through being genetically spliced with a dog

Right now there is only [RUNNING] and [PANTING] and the wind whipping your face and twigs digging into your paw pads and snapping under your weight and the sweat tickling the inside of your thigh as it rolls down the expanse of your (ever) hairless leg. You almost want to throw your hands down into the decaying grass and leaves to propel your body further but (something) keeps you anchored to your bipedal ways, your body knows it was never made for sprinting on all four but your body was also bent once and could probably be bent further all the way to the other side transhumanised so far the evolutionary path to break all knowns nomenclature and classification and leap from (human) to [DOG] just as you do out of the shrubbery as soon as your hear [YOUR NAME], toes skidding into the overgrown lawn as you halt, tongue hanging out dumbly trying as you might to bring moisture back into your bone dry mouth. The useless instincts you (forcefully) have inherited work against you but thankfully [HE!!!] turns on the garden hose [HE!!] uses to bath you with and fresh water springs out, splattering everywhere against your open mouth. There used to be a better way to drink but you (forgot) how so you chew at the air trying to catch this pesky pesky water into your mouth while getting drenched, you were hot anyway, running so so hot from all the excess dopamine secreted by your happy happy dumb brain, so easily pleased.

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS]; it’s the 100th time you thought this exact thing today not with words or inner monologue only pure unadulterated stabs at your mesocorticolimbic circuit, things are only [GOOD] or [BAD] not in terms of the morals (you lacked) but in terms of [PLEASURE] and [PAIN], so simple and so good like quenching your thirst and moving your limbs and eating and shitting and nerve endings being stimulated by a [GOOD SCRATCH] just like [HE] is doing right now immediately replacing the serotonin from the water [HE] just shut off, not having a care in the world for how greasy your (hair) feels or the way you wildly shake off to dry yourself or the fact that you are (not) a dog at all. You wouldn’t get any of it anyway because all you understand now is [ANGRY] and [SOFT] tone so as long as [HE] coos at (you) softly [HE] can say anything and (you) would happily (giggle) and [RUB YOUR HEAD] against his big calloused hands even if he was (talking shit). You were liberated against your (will) and you are too dumb to realize it, of course you are why would you ever stop and try to think when you can just march alongside [HIM] like [HE TAUGHT] [YOU]] like a good stupid fuckass (dog) getting all [EXCITED] because you realize [HE] is walking towards the [KITCHEN] which can only mean any and all (doubt) or [FEAR] that’s desperately trying to join each others can be [SILENCED] by a motherfucking spoonfull of [PEANUT BUTTER HOLY SHIT] sticky and salty and obstructing your airway momentarily but thank goodness you still know how to breath through your (nose) while you smack your (lips) desperately trying to (get away from the [DELICIOUS TREAT] clawing at the leathery cushion with your splitting nails nerve endings stimulated by [HURT HURT HURT FUCK what did you do why were you bad why is this happening to you this wasn’t supposed to happen you weren’t supposed to get caught in the first place but the [BITC H] squealed and slipped through your fingers and now you’re the one being [GUD LA DET SLUTTE VÆR SÅ SNILL] you should’ve made a bigger hole and (fucked it) so [BAD] no one will ever be able to identify your whore bitch corpse you r eally fucked up this time you can barely breathe through any hole now in out in out in out head heavy with the weight of ([HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS]) getting really really light so much so you don’t feel your (claws) slicing until the victim became unrecognizable aggravated [MASSACRE] of your (ultimate reality) now there’s only [DROOL] and a little bit of [VOMIT] and your clammy skin against the (cold old tiles) of the kitchen floor and [HIS] form above you [WARM] palm encircling almost your entire still trembling arm and (garbled speech) you can never [UNDERSTAND] again, it’s so [WARM] and (nice) your [TAIL] slaps the kitchen floor, beginning to unknot [HIS] brow as you can feel yourself (smiling) dumbly at [HIM]. And now there is only [PETTING] and [ROLLING ON THE FLOOR] with the sweet-acrid aroma of [PEANUT BUTTER] and [VOMIT] [HE] stops you from [LAPPING] just before your tongue touches it.

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS].

[davidthephoneguy]

A little (mostly Dialtown) rant of my own

Ok first of all you all need to calm down, I'm goin on this rant despite not currently being in the dialtown fandom but I was back around when the game first came out. I just feel like I gotta ask you to be calm because I know how agressive people can be online with that shield on anonymity. I also do not hate dialtown or Dogman nor do I blame them for said issues that will be stated.

Dialtown as a whole does pretty obviously have a problem about representation of fem/fem presenting characters especially in the fandom side. As a previous rant stated before most fem characters are either glossed over in favour of male/masc presenting ones, such as with the main dateables. It even extends to side characters which feels rather disheartening. Now I get why its mainly the male/masc presenting ones who get attention, I must highlight the fact that I am a Bi-Ace Transman and I tended to focus on Oliver and Randal over Karen so I was part of the problem on that part. So i get the gender serotonin of drawing them but I hope you can also see how it means that for example, Karen is almost completely overlooked. I would see myself in them because of the shared gender, I really do understand why this has been happening. You are not evil for doing this, that is not what this rant is about in the slightest. Like the previous rant before stated the game doesn't pass the Bechdal test (Which if you are unaware is a media test which requires two fem characters to talk to eachother about anything other then a man, already an extremely low bar to pass) which Dialtown does not pass. It's completely valid to have reservations about that as it is an overall problem with media at large. Media at large is still a white straight cis male dominated space and needs more diversity in all ways. Dialtown as a whole is a good game and has a diverse cast which is wonderful and amazing to see. The only issue is how some are highlighted more then others or demonized in a way that lines up with misogyny (Such as with Mingus' behavior being villainized by the fandom while Stabby and Shooty doing the same thing being ok and lighthearted in the eyes of the fandom which from an outside view just looks like misogyny I am sorry folks. If the only factor in if you like or dislike a characters actions is because they are a woman is misogyny even if they're cis or trans, misogyny is just the word for discrimination in this way) Pointing this out doesn't mean an attack on anyone, pointing out an issue is meant to bring attention to said issue so it can be improved or fixed. The previous person who I have been referencing and paraphrasing here (who I am not going to @ as they don't need more direct harassment) was slightly attacked for having a rant, yes everyone is entitled to their opinion but that does not give either side the right to actively attack the other. Please remain diplomatic.

People are allowed to highlight issues, if we don't then they won't ever get fixed. We're meant to stick together and fix things together, not attack eachother. Thats what people like terfs want us to do, they want us to tear eachother apart so that they get what they want, our destruction. We have to stand together with the things we love. My apologies for how long this ended up being but I just had to get it out of my head. Just my thoughts as a transman/voidrabbit on the topic

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

M6 and MC during a storm or other bad weather event? Can be as fluffy or as angsty as you please.

(Bonus: What kind of umbrella would each LI have, if any?)

The Arcana HCs: M6 during thunderstorms

~ the way my mind gets flooded with serotonin just thinking about thunderstorms XD I've added some pics of the kinds of umbrellas I think they'd use too ^.^ thanks for the prompt anon! - brainrot ~

TW for mentions of panic attacks in Julian's and Portia's sections and tooth rotting fluff in general

Julian

HATES thunderstorms

They take him right back to the night he lost his family, until he's a scared little boy holding his baby sister and waiting for his parents to come save them all over again

Just the sound of rain alone used to send him into panic attacks as a kid and young teen, but he's been an adult on his own for a long time at this point and it's rare for him to have that reaction now

That doesn't stop him from getting anxious though

He'll alternate between uncharacteristic silence and feverish chattering, making overly casual comments on the weather

He will also be laser focused on you. He knows it's irrational, but he's got a deap-seated fear that the storm will take you from him too and he will follow you like a shadow

He doesn't want to become a nuisance though, so he'll be fussing over you nonstop - layering you with blankets, insisting you eat or drink every thirty minutes, dosing you with vitamins, etc

Of course, you love him, so you find a way to make things bearable

The sound of thunder and sensation of cold rain bother him the most, so cuddling in bed where it's warm and dry and the blankets can muffle the sounds is ideal

The best is when you ask him to read out loud to you. He gets to be close to you, make himself useful, and stay distracted all at once. Just don't let him have coffee, the jitters will send his anxiety through the roof

(He rarely uses his umbrella, but it's as gothic as he is and has a raven head carved in the handle)

Asra

LOVES the rain

Their magic is water-affiliated as it is, and you're telling them that everything's being splashed with it? Well what are you waiting for, MC, it's clearly time to go outside!

Constant smiling and giggling

The streets are almost completely empty because everyone sane is staying inside, and he takes full advantage of that. It's the most childlike, playful, and hyper you'll ever see him

Tag, you're it!

They'll run and give chase for as long as you can manage it, and as soon as one of you slows down they're pulling you into their arms to dance. Don't worry about the music, they'll make it happen somehow

Kisses in the rain with his hair plastered to his face will never not be delightful. He won't hold still for very long though, if you hold him too close he'll take it as his invitation to tickle you and run

Puddle-jumping competitions for the biggest splash

If you're not in the city, oh boy, they're hunting for the biggest mud pit they can find and pulling you into a match

Does not have the healthy fear of lightning that he should. Will stand in the middle of a field or try to climb a tree for a better view, and you have heard him at his loudest when he shouts back at it

The foamiest hot bath when you get home, they'll spend the rest of the evening curled up with you in front of the fire with hot chocolate

(They don't like using their umbrella anyways, so it turned into a magical art project)

Nadia

Rain holds unusually fond family memories for her

For starters, it usually signaled a drop in temperature, which was a welcome break in the tropical Prakran climate

But back home in Prakra with six busy older siblings and royalty for parents, thunderstorms were when everybody took a break and spent the day together in the palace with games and tea

She doesn't have to think twice about continuing that tradition with you

She'll usually give everyone the afternoon off once basic Palace upkeep tasks are finished and spend it with you

She loves sitting on the veranda with you in the afternoon, commenting on the lightning and listening to the thunder and rain, drinking tea with you and telling you stories of her childhood

As soon as it starts to get dark she's taking you inside and putting together a dinner in the kitchens. You and the palace chefs know she doesn't really cook, so they'll leave some "ingredients" to find

"Ingredients" often being a cold roast bird of some kind, a freshly baked loaf of bread "hidden" in the cupboard, a bowl of greens with the dressing on a different table, and two "forgotten" plates of dessert

You don't know if she knows that kitchens aren't usually like that, and you have no intention of telling her otherwise

She'll retire with you to her chambers early, so she can lie in bed with the windows open and listen to your voice and the rain

(She has a collection of umbrellas for different outfits, mostly used for garden events)

Muriel

You didn't expect it, but Muriel feels supremely at peace when it rains

As a kid, it was one of the only times when the city would get quiet. He could go out in the rain, and just for once, walk as far as he wanted to without bumping into anyone or being looked at

He could stand in the middle of the widest street and hold as still and breathe as deeply as he wanted to without a single person yelling at him to move

And nobody wanted to attend the roofless Coliseum when it was raining

Out in the woods? It's even better

He takes a quiet pride in knowing that for once the forest is louder than the people are

And the cold doesn't bother him in the slightest

There's a part of the hut roof that juts out by several feet and he keeps a stool there. He'll lean back into the tree roots and stone wall, watching the curtain of rain an arm's length away with a contented smile

To him, rain sounds and smells like freedom and new beginnings

He'll never pressure you to join him, but he'll be so happy if you do

It's an atmosphere where he's the most at home in his own body, so you can expect him to initiate a lot more physical touch

He'll be comfortable enough to pull you into his lap and wrap a cloak around the two of you to keep you warm and dry

Gentle kisses against the cold stone, wrapped up in his warmth and a thick blanket while the earth smells fresh and the rain tap dances on the leaves all around you

(Asra got it for him as a gag gift and he unironically adores it and uses it all the time)

Portia

She gets super irritable when it rains

Do you know? What hair like hers likes to do? When it gets this humid? Do you know? How much time it takes? To clean up the bucketloads of mud? That Pepi tracks all over the floor?

Yeah, she didn't think so

She doesn't talk about it (and frankly, she's not the introspective type, so she might not even be aware of it) but the trauma of that shipwreck stays with her even if she can't remember it completely

So no, she doesn't get flashbacks or nightmares, but as soon as it starts thundering she's plagued with a sense of unease and danger that she just can't shake

She also associates it with watching her teenaged older brother panic and meltdown, which isn't the most positive memory

And of course, it doesn't help that rainy days mean keeping a very active person cooped up inside with nothing to do but keep house

She'll spend the first few hours obsessively getting her space in order - meal prepping, cleaning, organizing, list-writing

It's better not to get involved until there's nothing left for her to do

That's your cue to help her tie back her hair, brew some soothing tea (or something stronger, if she's really fidgety) and sit with her on the couch while she talks a mile a minute all about her week

It will take a few years, but eventually she'll come to associate rain with you so strongly that she might even come to love it

(She likes having the brightest, most distracting umbrella possible for such miserable weather)

Lucio

He doesn't like thunderstorms. At all

He's generally tougher than he acts - he grew up with Morga as a parent, after all - but his brand of bad weather as a kid was snowstorms and blizzards and fierce winds

Not all this business with metal-attracted bolts of sky electricity and sudden, loud noises and water that makes everything muddy and gets everywhere (especially on the dogs!)

Unless it's impossible, he's spending thunderstorms inside, no matter how tight your budget is

As soon as it becomes anything more than a light drizzle, he's cancelling all of today's plans and going off in search of affordable, effective shelter

If he had it his way, he'd do his best to sleep through the whole weather event hunkered down beneath a pile of quilts and blankets

The problem is with Mercedes and Melchior. They love the rain

There's mud! There's exciting new smells! Let them out, let them out to play!

And Lucio, of course, will let them out like the doting dog dad he is, and then they'll come back inside with their white fur drenched and matted with mud and shake it all over everything

The only thing all three of them agree on is that lightning and thunder = bad

The dogs of course have sensitive ears, and no matter how many times he hears it, it always makes Lucio jump (too unexpected)

Your cuddles will be desperately sought after and much appreciated

(The first umbrella is the one Lucio wanted to buy. The second is what he got, because it needs to fit in his traveling pack)

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hello! I'm going through a rough time right now and I was just wondering: can I request the ROTTMNT turtles x a S/O who has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they take care of a S/O whose depression spells make it hard for them to get out of bed, take care of themselves etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/chubby and insecure about it.

Hope you feel better soon 💜

Raph Leo Donnie and Mikey x Reader with anxiety, depression and PTSD

Raphael

★ Oh lawd please let him help. He wants, no, he needs to help you. You are his s/o and he cares about you more than you think. Need a mental health day? He's coming over with sented candles and snacks.

★ Anything you need, he's going to give. If you are having one of those days where you feel you can't leave bed he will stay by your side so you don't feel alone. If he needs to leave your side he grabs a few of his favorite teddy bears and puts them on the bed where he was.

★ He's familiar with the concept of having body image issues but never once thought about you having them. Your body is perfect to him. It's soft and warm, ideal to lay down and cuddle with. What could be missing?

★ You are gorgeous. You're probably tired of hearing those words from well meaning people but to him it's true. In his eyes every single thing you see as a flaw is beautiful.

★ "How was your day?" Is asked every night when the two of you meet up. He genuinely wants to know how your day went and how you are feeling. If something went wrong of if you are stressed out about something you should vent.

Leonardo

★ When you start to open up to him about being insecure he is going to feal really bad. Mostly because he knows what it feels like and the idea that you feel the same hurts.

★ He is going to mess up at first, but he wants to help. He regularly sends you random body positivity photos and memes he finds online.

★ One of his go-to ideas for when you're feeling stressed out is to bring you on a walk around the hidden city and do a little sightseeing. Usually it works and you get your mind off whatever was bothering you.

★ PTSD attacks scared him at first, purely because he didn't know what to do. He felt really bad after he first saw you have one because he had to call his sister, April, to help. Later he went down a rabbit hole of googling and websites to know what to do next time.

★ Nowadays he is much more prepared, he knows a few grounding techniques to try and help you through PTSD attacks. He even put together a "emergency Y/n kit" filled with stuff for you. Among other things it's got gum, a soft blanket and some watter.

★ it's just a tote bag that sits in the corner of his room. It also has a few Lou jitsu movies on DVD to watch together.

Donatello

★ You have unlimited access to his room and lab for the sole reason that it's the quietest place in New York. It's definitely not because he worries about you and wants to give you a safe space. Not at all...

★ When you don't have the motivation to get up out of bed you get to have some very rare and valuable Donnie cuddles. Usually he would cuddle you for so long but you need this, so he does it for you.

★ He tries to gently bring up the subject of antidepressants, hoping that you might decide to try them. But in true Donnie fashion does it by saying "Did you know antidepressants affect two neurotransmitters in particular, serotonin and norepinephrine?" Yea, he ain't slick.

★ He would never force or pressure you into going on meds. If you say you don't want to go on them for whatever reason he accepts it and leaves it at that.

★ However, if you choose to he would go over the different types of medication. Lists off the side effects and benefits along with what they actually do. For gods sake, he might go through the process of drug compounding for you. No doctor prescription needed.

Michelangelo

★ Can't find the motivation to get out of bed? He's joining you and ends up clinging to you while asleep. He's only leaving the bed if you leave the bed.

★ However, neglecting your own health is where he draws the line. You are not allowed to neglect yourself (not bathing, eating enough or letting yourself to give up). Imagine him saying "open wide!" While holding a chicken nugget up to your mouth.

★ Venting session might do you some good. If you can't afford therapy (thanks American lack of public healthcare) he will pick up a book on phycology and try his best. He's not the world's best therapist/boyfriend but he's trying.

★ Over time you end up telling him a lot about where your PTSD came from. Mikey is really good at noticing things that upset you now. Along with that he researches the effects of mental illness, to try and know more about what you're going through.

[skzoologist]

Recording gone...right?

word count: ~1.2k

warnings: none

genre: flustering Bae, this is a new genre at this point

a/n: Any brainrot you have? Send them all. I need them, they are giving me that sweet, sweet serotonin. (This goes to everyone, because while I have my own ideas for stories, you guys always seem to think of something completely different and I love it.)

tag: @thightswideforhanin

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Their fans didn’t even know their beloved idols would have another album coming out soon, yet the members were already working hard on it. They were all very excited, even more than usual -and that was hard to achieve-, because they would be working with a famous japanese singer this time, LiSA. She was known for several things, some anime openings being on that extensive list and you could bet that some of the boys knew at least one or two of those songs by heart. They were too big of a weeb to not.

Amongst them the worst ones were Jisung and Bae, the two socially awkward anime fans. Just from the mere thought of meeting her had their palms turning clammy and their hearts speed up, but only after leaping into their throats. Thankfully or not, they wouldn’t be meeting with the famous singer for a while, needing to work on the songs on their own first.

“Can you believe it, Hyung? Not only did Chan hyung laugh at me when I accidentally messed something up while recording, but he shouted into the mic!”

It was Jisung complaining after his day of recording, his tired form draped over Bae’s. It wasn’t by the latter’s choice, since the young quokka attacked him and started acting like his personal blanket the moment their eyes met. Bae knew he had no choice but to accept his fate, the man too stubborn to leave him be.

“Aaaaaah, Baeeeee hyuuung, it was so horrible, I think I got permanent hearing damage.” - at this, Bae just looked at Jisung with a raised eyebrow.

“I know, I know, we’re loud, you say it all the time, but I’m serious this time! Gimme a kiss! I need someone to kiss it better!” - the younger asked shamelessly, doe eyes glistening as he was craning his head to look at Bae.

Now, Bae really loved his members, he truly did, and he would never hurt them purposefully, but the thought of just shoving Jisung down onto the floor from top of him did cross his head for a second. Maybe even two. But instead he just took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as he just got up from the couch -with the clingy squirrel in his hold, who just squeaked at this lightly- and pushed Jisung into Minho’s arms, who just arrived because he was visiting them for something.

He didn’t even wait and explain his actions -something that Minho and Jisung were both asking and whining for-, just straight up walked away and left to his room. Right until Chan got a hold of him, the kangaroo’s head peeking out through the small gap he opened his door to.

“Bae, can you please come in for a sec? I wanna discuss something about tomorrow’s recording.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice, his feet immediately turning and pivoting into Chan’s room, closing the door behind himself. He sat next to his hyung, who had his famous laptop in his lap, the screen illuminating both their faces in the darkness.

“I know you have excellent english, but I wanted to go over some lines before we record them tomorrow. Especially because some of them might be a bit too high for you at first.” - Chan explained, no ill intent in his voice.

Bae nodded as he listened to his leader talk, singing sometimes in a quiet voice, carving the melody and the words into his flesh. He knew Chan only wanted the best for him, so he wanted to do his best in return. They spent their time like that, not even noticing it was past midnight already, several hours passing by as they started discussing things in great detail. They went over the already recorded parts, thinking about how to tweak them slightly, how other parts needed to be recorded in the future.

Sometimes the aussie forgot that Bae wasn’t part of 3RACHA, since the younger always let him gush about music production, understanding and curiosity glistening in Bae’s eyes.

Soon they wrapped the impromptu meeting up, wishing the other goodnight, before inevitably meeting up the next day in the recording studio.

Bae arrived there early, wanting to warm up his voice in time before the recording. He greeted all the staff members, doing a double take when he saw not only Chan, but every member of 3RACHA in the chairs. Those sneaky bastards just grinned at him and waved, causing Bae to huff and start regretting his life choices. Because he knew there would be teasing to be had, even though they were also recording for STAY. Although that never stopped them before, so why would it now?

After successfully warming up his voice and tweaking with the settings a bit, Bae was ready and signalled for the others.

Chan only commented a few times, needing a bit of correction here and there: sometimes for the rhythm, sometimes for the feel of a few lines. They were usually solved in the next take, making everything go smoothly.

Right until the boys started playing around.

You see, Bae had this habit of doing tiny dance moves while singing, the choreography singed into his body for the song already. And every single time, Chan and/or the others would comment on it, purposefully pressing the button so Bae would hear it. Giggles and comments about how cute he was would fill his ears, dusting his cheeks pink, causing the others to react stronger. It was a hellish cycle, one that continued usually only until Bae would take off the headphones and turn away from them, staring up at the ceiling in silence. This way the others and himself would slowly calm down, otherwise he would have to record his lines while Changbin was shouting pickup lines at him.

He really wanted to get out of there.

“Okay, okay, that was good. Now you only need to sing the part everyone has, and you’re done. FIghting!” - Chan announced, urging Bae to look the lines over on the paper and nod.

It only took a single take, the others on the opposite side of the glass loudly voicing their opinions, as always.

“Wooow, that was perfect, Bae! You got the emotion down to a t.” - Chan said, his voice firm over the headphones.

“Of course, Hyung’s my boyfriend, he is perfect!” - Changbin added in, proudly standing there with a silly little smile on his face.

“What?! No, you greedy pig. You want Hyunjin and him both? He’s mine!” - Jisung whined back, causing Bae to huff and go over to calm them after waving tinily at the recording camera, seeing the staff members fighting a headache already.

It was always like that with Changbin, Bae getting a handful of headaches just from being in the studio with him, helping with the songs. The little dwaekki was always loud and voiced his opinions strongly, and Bae could only silently grimace as he went to go buy some apology drinks for the equally tired and suffering staff members. And for himself. Gods, did he not like coffee and its taste, but he downed a latte or two sometimes, just to get through those recording sessions.

“What’ll make you two stop?” - he tiredly asked, a sigh leaving his form once again.

“A kiss.” - they answered in perfect sync.

“Forget I asked. Good luck, Hyung.”

“What, wait, and where’s mine?”

But Bae was already out the door, done with the boys’ shenanigans for the day.

[toads-treasures]

Love and appreciation attack <3<3<3<3<3<3

Tell me some random Wyll thoughts you have. I need a pick me up (A Wyll-me-up?)

Omg funny you should ask!!!! I just finished a doodle of him!!!

This is a random Wyll thought I just had (I was trolling my notes app for something more profound but alas) I fully believe ten year old Wyll wrote essentially self insert fanfic where he saved Baldur’s gate along side Minsc. Or other adventures featuring Minsc and Jaheria or Baldurn (idk how to spell his name). Wyll loves stories, and post adventure novelist/bard!Wyll is real to me.

I’m also deciding right now that Wyll knows how to knit. Nothing fancy but the basics. There’s a post somewhere (I will track it down and link it later) about Wyll traveling the countryside saving people, and in turn learning things from them. I can totally see some village grandma teaching him how to knit once she learns how many holes his socks have in them.

Also I’m fully incorporating the term Wyll-me-up into my life because my god, the instant rush of serotonin I received just drawing him again???? Unparalleled. I wasn’t depressed I just needed to think about my beloved Wyll Ravengard again.

[seventhdoctor]

Trauma Team Artbook Character Bio Lore

...As gleaned from running artbook scans from 2014 through a sketchy machine translation in the year 2023. I won't post the exact translations for fear of mistranslations ending up reported as fact on wikis and so on, but here's the gist of what Google Translate yields.

CR-S01

Is named Erhard Muller, a fact that already made the rounds in the 2010s

His nationality is also listed as German, though he clearly spent most of his life in America

Most of his backstory isn't anything new compared to in the games, but the artbook does provide a timeline: adopted by Professor Sartre at age 9 after his parents died, enrolled in medical school at age 12 and hailed as the youngest ever to do so, age 13 when Rosalia was adopted, age 16 when the Cumberland Institute incident happened

Erhard and Rose weren't super close siblings, but got along well enough and they had happy lives until the bioterrorism attacked

The government 100% knew Erhard wasn't the culprit when they arrested him - he was the public scapegoat because they couldn't find Albert Sartre, their real person of interest. They never stopped looking for Sartre, and S01's work to reduce his sentence was a quiet compromise for the fact that they, y'know, ruined this kid's life

After learning the truth, S01 is disappointed at his father's betrayal but also chooses to take blame for Sartre's crimes and work off his sentence rather than expose Sartre as the true culprit

Not in-game lore, but according to the concept art section he was nicknamed Chris (CRS) during development. Other people will be funnier about this than I am

Maria Torres

Has the shortest bio and the least amount of new information along with Tomoe, honestly

Born in the slums

Was already at the orphanage at age 10 when Rosalia (age 3) came there

Ended up in rehab of some kind after the orphanage fire

Hank Freebird

Also doesn't have much new compared to the game, sadly

Joined the military out of a sense of justice, left out of disillusionment following John's death and used the medical knowledge he gained in the military to become an orthopedic surgeon (not that this wasn't already implied in the game)

His bio specifically calls him out for being kinda clumsy/goofy. Poor guy

Tomoe Tachibana

Honestly the only thing that's new is a bunch of names, so this is the one time I break my rule and cite a translation directly. TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, IT'S STILL A MACHINE TRANSLATION

The only daughter of the Tachibana Zaibatsu, a global organization run by a family descended from the leader of the Koga Shinobi Army, Hisayori Tachibana.

Gabriel Cunningham

Nationality is listed as Great Britain. Surprise!

His wife Lisa left him with Joshua and went to her parents' six years before the game because she didn't like his lifestyle

Lisa was willing to get back together if Gabe was ever willing to talk to her properly, but as seen in the game he kept his distance. He and Lisa met occasionally over the next six years, but he never saw Joshua - which is of course why Joshua never recognized him in the game

His decision to go through with the divorce was about acceptance of his failings and a desire to do right by Joshua and Lisa

Naomi Kimishima

NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH BACKSTORY

All right, so that bit in Second Opinion where she took a Savato sample after cutting ties with Delphi and used it to bargain amnesty with Caduceus [Europe in the US version; US in the JP version]? Yeah, apparently she transported that sample by CARRYING IT IN HER OWN BODY for Caduceus to extract

Her fatal condition is a result of that, though it's already implied to be a result of GUILT in the game anyway. It was a sudden development a few years later, followed by Derek's six-month diagnosis

There's also details about her illness! Apparently her specific brand of PGS or whatever involves excess serotonin and dopamine production, which she needs meds to regulate.

It also means she's no longer able to operate on the living, which is why she transitions to forensic medicine as part of her plea deal

[Insert grimace here] I don't want to get too into this because this bit because 1) machine translation fears, 2) even perfectly translated it's not likely to be accurate to actual philosophy/terminology anyway, 3) I'm not a doctor I don't know what I'm talking about…

But the bio then starts talking about pranayama and prana, defining prana as life essence and...saying Naomi lacks it because of her condition and its effect on serotonin? I'm not entirely clear on this and I'm hesitant to say anything for sure; the main thing is that they take her illness and use the concept of prana to connect that to...

Her new ability to hear the dead! Apparently Naomi reads the prana left behind in a corpse and translates it into the person's final words via her phone; the worse the damage to the corpse (e.g., skeletonization), the less prana remains and the weaker the voice she hears is

Whether any of this relates to the Healing Touch is not mentioned. IDK man

Technically this was in S01's bio, but it relates more to Naomi: Jacob Tillman originally wanted Naomi to perform his surgery and keep it secret. Naomi was already unable to perform surgery on living people at that point, though, so S01 was Plan B

Rosalia Rossellini

Admired her big brother Erhard :(

Albert Sartre

Adopted Rosalia to study the virus in her blood (that is, he already knew about it by the time he adopted her in case that's ever a timeline question)

Additional Note

If someone with actual knowledge of Japanese corrects me and anything I've written in here, absolutely believe them over me. I'm not the translation hero anyone still in this fandom in the year 2k23 deserves, I'm just the stopgap until maybe one arrives someday.

[strayheartless]

The wobble:

Flo copes? Flo copes…. *sigh* this can’t be how I get back into the writing game. It just can’t be.

CW for: apparent panic attacks that are actually mild serotonin syndrome.

+++++++++++

Angel face: sosmthandh wrong. Don no whdkt I’m doing orsn wfy.

Mr perfect: Angeal?

The Hero: my love, are you well?

Angeal face: Idntknw.

Mr perfect: do you need assistance?

Angel face: ??

Sephiroth placed his phone in his pocket and got out of his seat, cutting Heidegger off mid stride.

“I apologise gentlemen, there is an emergency that requires my attention. Lazard would you inform second Class Fair that his training mission has been cancelled?”

Lazard blinked a few times in confusion but nodded, looking down at his phone to see if he had gotten the same alert the general had.

“Yes alright,” he replied looking concerned. “Is everything alright?”

Sephiroth strode to the door, reaching for the handle. “I’ll tell you when I know director,” and with that he was out of the door and bypassing the elevator in favour of flinging himself over the emergency stairs banister. He catches himself at the forty-ninth floor and darts across the hall as quickly as possible.

Their offices have always been next to eachother, Sephiroth’s at the end of the hall, Genesis at the head. Angeals office sat snuggly between the two in a rather witty (on Lazards part) recreation of how their friendship often worked; Angeal being the buffer between he and Genesis’ more destructive behaviours. He had expected to walk in and find Genesis already there, but the dull click of heeled boots on marble flooring told him that Genesis must have been out.

Turning he caught sight of the red head looking harassed and slightly winded.

“Did you run here?” The general asked

Genesis huffed a stray hand out of his face, “I was in sector three.” He complained. “Since you were to busy to deal with the weapons factory infestation, I had to deal with it!”

Sephiroth stared at him. “You’ve been in my office again?”

To Genesis’ credit he didn’t so much as flinch at the accusation. “Get better locks. Now can we please check on Angeal?”

Sephiroth nodded curtly as they both headed for the door, nothing was likely to stop Genesis from searching through his files when he was bored. Given that it was one less thing of Sephiroth’s own mounting ‘to do list’, he wasn’t about to push the matter. Besides he doesn’t think it really matters given what he’s just opened the office door to.

Angeal is sat at his desk, hands hovering over the keyboard. He’s shaking badly and seems to be staring through, rather than at, his computer monitor. Sephiroth notes the palor to his skin and the fact that, as they round his desk, nothing totally life shattering seems to be displayed there.

“‘Geal?” Genesis calls, kneeling next to the man’s chair. “Love are you well?”

“I- I don’t-“ he can’t seem to finish a sentence so Sephiroth places a hand on his shoulder as the distress seems to speed his breathing up. He did not really know what else he could do. As Genesis reached to turn the monitor off and take Angeals hands he almost feels as if his presence is more of a hinderance than a help.

“Darling, I’m going to coach you through some breathing exercisesc can you look at me?” Genesis cooed, tilting his head to see Angeals face clearer. “Sephiroth dear, will you grab some water for us?” Sephiroth stumbled to do as he was told, feeling completely unprepared to deal with whatever this was.

While Gen coached Angeal, he grabbed the glass pitcher from atop the coffee table and filled a glass with water. Maybe Genesis thought he was better off out of the way during this, maybe he was right. However as he came back and handed the water to Angeal, the usually solid Commander slumped into his chest while Genesis rubbed his hands soothingly against his knees.

Sephiroth’s natural reaction was to place a hand on Angeal’s shoulder but he didn’t feel the urge to push him away like he usually would. Angeal seemed somewhat delicate and in reality Sephiroth felt a small amount of pride that he had leaned on him specifically. Genesis let his lips twitch up at the sight but didn’t point it out.

“What happened here Hm?” He said, not unkindly. His voice was still that soft coo that let Angeal know nobody was mad at him. Sephiroth imagined it was the voice mothers used when soothing their children… though how he knew that he was unsure of. He absently moved his hand to Angeal’s head and began to stroke his hair as he listened to it.

“I-“ Angeal sucked in a breath and leaned heavier on Sephiroth. “I was- I was working and all these emails started piling in an-“ Genesis placed a hand on his face and absently stroked his thumb across Angeal’s cheek.

“It overwhelmed you?” He prompted.

“N-no. I mean- I don’t know. I- how did you know to come here?” Angeal suddenly sat up away from Sephiroth who let his hand fall away. He looked between the two of them confused.

“You sent us a message?” Sephiroth said making his own confused face and looking across at Genesis who’s face was concerned.

“Did I?”

Genesis pulled his phone from his coat pocket and showed Angeal the text massage.

“I don’t remember sending it.” He blinked at the screen.

“That’s okay, it’s likely you were dissociating and have lost some time. We’ll figure it out.” Genesis looked at Sephiroth again and the worry was plain on his face.

“Angeal,” he said, keeping his tone as neutral as possible. “Are you functioning at optimum levels?”

Genesis rolled his eyes. “Nicely handled,” he deadpanned. He placed a hand on Angeal’s forehead and tsked when no fever became apparent.

“Well it could simply have been a panic attack.” He muttered. “But you’ve never had one before.”

Angeal blinked blearily. I looked as though he needed a lie down.

“You think I should go to Hollander?” He shudders a little making Sephiroth reach out and grip the back of his neck reassuringly. Angeal reached around to hold onto his wrist greatfully.

“I think it’s up to you dove.” Gen nudged his cheek with his knuckle.

“I think I just want to go to bed,” Angeal replied meekly.

Sephiroth gripped his neck again.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” He said.

[roseharpermaxwell]

Bite-Size Drarry - Under 10k (Part Two)

Pausing my RWRB reading (I have an ask about firstprince fics too and I’m working on it!) to answer this, which is the nudge I’ve needed. I’ve done this for Dramione before (under 5k), but I especially love tempting readers to Drarry. 

Short works are the unsung heroes of fandom. They don’t get enough love, which makes me so sad, because you definitely don’t always need 100k to deliver a stunning story. These are your bedtime stories, your palate cleansers, your individual serving sizes of serotonin. It’s okay to enjoy these even if you only read slow burn 100k+ fics, I promise. Live a little! 

This is a sampling of some amazing favorites, but I’m always reading new things and will add to it regularly. If you find something you love, I know the author would love to hear it, and so would I! Take a deep dive into their work to find other gems. 

Here's Part One if you missed it.

Bite-Size Drarry - Under 10k (Part Two) below:

Yours, Draco by @drarrytrash. T, 3.5k. MCD All that's left are 15 letters, and then those are gone, too.

Let Me Count the Ways by @thebooktopus. E, 3.5k. Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.

Thunder Moon by @maesterchill. E, 3.6k. Just like the first rumbling growls of thunder in the skies, a 'thunder moon' is a harbinger of storms and turmoil. During this rare night in July, many wix notice an increased difficulty balancing heart and head, instinct and morality, and even their own desires versus the wishes of their loved ones.

For those who have been bitten and turned, like Harry Potter, this struggle is magnified tenfold.

When his mate is attacked, will Harry be able to face down the monsters in the shadows, and inside himself... for the man he loves?

Perfectly Imperfect by @phdmama. E, 3.6k. Harry is about to have sex with Draco Malfoy. The only thing that’s weird about that sentence is that it’s not weird at all.

Re: Harry’s Crush by @lettersbyelise. T, 3.7k. Ever get that feeling you're being talked about behind your back? Harry doesn't, he's too busy being stupidly, obviously besotted with the guy in the lab downstairs. A fic where the interdepartment betting war at the Ministry gets out of hand, Millicent and Hermione get scheming, Harry Potter ends up wearing black eyeliner, and everybody ends up getting more than they bargained for. Companion piece: Featherlight, T, 1.3k. 

Let’s go dip it low (then you bring it up slow) by @andithiel. T, 3.7k. Draco was not prepared to run into Potter in a Muggle gym, especially not a provocatively dressed, dancing and flirtatious Potter. 

Absurd by Blowfish_Diaries. E, 3.7k. When Draco discovers a kink that Harry's been hiding from him, he has no choice but to explore said kink, right? Right.

Do You Want to Bet on That by phdmama. E, 3.7k. 

Are you ready now by phdmama. E, 3.7k. 8th year. Truth or Dare. That's it. That's the fic.

Limits of Earth and Sky by @jackvbriefs. E, 3.8k. Again and again, Draco Malfoy returns to the public eye only to attempt the most challenging broomriding feats Wizarding Society has to offer.  Again and again, Harry Potter watches him do it and wonders why.

Come As You Are by @peachpety. E, 3.8k. If asked, Harry Potter would categorize his high school senior year as normal: football, friends, and one devastating crush on his tutor, Draco Malfoy. When presented with an opportunity to help Draco, Harry rises to the occasion. Unfortunately, so does his dick. Sparks fly and alarms blare… and the Hogwarts Owlz Gossip twitter feed blows up.

Or: the one where an inconvenient erection brings them together.

Fruit Stand by @drarrily-we-row-along. M, 3.8k. Harry never skives off of work; he's never taken a day off, not even when he's sick.

But today is the day. He goes off for a drive and comes across a farm stand that changes his life forever.

Matching Pair by @the-starryknight. T, 3.8k. Harry Potter was possibly the last person Draco had expected to find standing at the foot of his favorite portrait at the Tate Magique. And yet, there he is, looking incredibly fit and monopolizing the attentions of the portrait. It's not bloody fair.

sink your teeth in by @softlystarstruck. E, 3.8k. Harry, or the wolf, or the wolf-that-is-Harry, is possessive. But he's trying not to show it.

Draco, though? Draco wants to be wanted.

Small Things by seefin. G, 3.8k. The Death Eaters went to the village early one morning before anyone was awake, and now the village is empty, apart from the Aurors, and the Order, and several now-stray dogs that sleep in an open garage on the side of one of the oast houses. 

August by @wolfpants. M, 3.8k. Summer, 1998. Harry Potter arrives at the Manor to return Draco's wand. The problem is, he keeps coming back.

The Metamorphmagus Needs a Bath by @aprofessionalprotagonist. T, 3.9k. Despite doing their best to avoid each other, Draco and Harry are tasked with babysitting Teddy Lupin... together. That's not going to be awkward at all.

Under Your Skin by @p1013. E, 3.9k. He initials another section and flips the page. Being a junior Auror is a lot more grunt work than he expected, and the paperwork isn't even the worst of it. He's also managed to catch intake duty. It's getting close to 2 AM, there hasn't been a single arrest brought in tonight, and he's still got another six hours before his shift is over. Rubbing a hand over his face, he prays for something, anything, to make the interminable evening better.

Oxygen by Maesterchill. T, 4k. Draco doesn’t smoke. Except when he needs to breathe.

Watch Out (here I come) by phdmama. E, 4k. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Hermione mutters, her smile never faltering. “Harry, stop it.”

“Stop what?” Harry mutters back, not looking away from the grey eyes narrowed in his direction, as the man himself mouths what? Harry gives up on the punch and signals the bartender, asking for whiskey.

“If you’re going to eyefuck Malfoy, I’m going to go find Ron for a dance,” Hermione says, turning to set her glass down on the bar behind her.

The Waking Lights series by @magicalrocketships. T, 4k. Draco Malfoy ends up reinventing himself. On Instagram. And TikTok, as it turns out. 

rawhide on your polish series by softlystarstruck. T, 4k. Draco acquires a new interest in Muggle Studies.

Two Lies and a Truth by phdmama. E, 4.1k. 

Eyes on Me by Saras_Girl. T, 4.1k. Harry cannot dance. Will not? Better not.

Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads. G, 4.1k. Harry’s life, and love, in food.

Still Waters by @iota. M, 4.1k. Coincidence brings Harry to the same alpine lake as Draco for summer field research, kicking off a month staying in a shared tent, endless opportunities for swimming and self discovery, and maybe a little studying too, if Harry has time.

in his hands by p1013. E, 4.2k. Draco’s got a bit of a thing for a certain part of Potter’s body. No, not that.

To Be Honest by shealwaysreads. M, 4.2k. Malfoy’s not fucking anyone. Harry’s curious. He’s just curious.

A Gentleman of Good Conceit by MaesterChill. M, 4.2k. Harry worships me, hungers for me. Facts are facts. What's also a fact is that I'm egotistical, an utter snob, and totally impossible to live with. But then, when has the impossible ever stopped Harry Potter?

Thirst by @fluxweeed. E, 4.4k. The path of Malfoy’s scent is obvious; Harry hasn’t fed for days, so his senses are sharp. Deadly. And Malfoy smells so good.

dive (and have no fear) by @callmegri. T, 4.5k. Draco Malfoy loves baths, but has no access to bathtubs. Harry Potter loves his friends, and has many of said bathtubs. It makes perfect sense to call Draco over to have a bath. ...Right?

Even Children Get Older by @lou-isfake. M, 4.5k. It started with don't wake the baby.

Good For You by @dodgerkedavra. E, 4.5k. Draco has only ever wanted to be a very good boy. He has no intention of blurting that out to Harry Potter at pub night.

But It's Better If You Do by louisfake. M, 4.6k. “This is exactly where you like me, isn’t it,” Malfoy mutters hoarsely in his ear, and Harry hears the unspoken beneath you, defeated. Harry laughs softly, lowering his arse onto his lap. The burlesque!Harry fever-dream oneshot that nobody asked for. 

Tastes Like Soap by InnerLilith. E, 4.6k. Harry goes to the foam party hoping to finally have casual sex. Draco goes to the foam party expecting yet another night of casual sex. Harry and Draco do not have casual sex.

Passably wrecked by @tenthousandyearsx. E, 4.6k. “Potter,” Malfoy says, sitting down next to him at breakfast. “I think we should have sex.”

Lucid by @dracoladon. E, 4.7k. Harry's not sure what makes him harder; listening to Draco talk about astronomy, or shagging Draco so thoroughly that he can't talk at all. Both, probably.

Amber by @slytherco. E, 4.7k. Despite his numerous flings, Harry's thoughts keep circling back to Draco, only half-aware of his perpetual draw where they're not strangers, not-quite friends, but definitely something. When they both get played by the same person, Harry and Draco find a way to get back at him, and maybe get something extra out of it as a result.

When The Party's Over by @sweet-s0rr0w. E, 4.7k. Parties aren't quite so much fun when you're accidentally bonded to your sworn enemy. At least, that's what Harry thinks at first...

Sports Star by @moonflower-rose. E, 4.8k. Life as a professional Quidditch player involves a strict routine, and more hydration than Harry could have imagined. He's happy to follow the rules, but he does keep one little strategy to himself, his secret to success on the pitch.

Unfortunately, that secret is about to be exposed to Draco Malfoy.

As Easy As That by Moonflower-Rose. E, 4.8k. Trust Potter to be the target of a rogue bonding spell from a crazed fan. Trust Draco to try and leap in front of it.

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass. G, 4.8k. The oranges ripened and grew heavy; the branches dipped under their weight. They picked some for breakfast every morning: Harry twisting the fruit off with a snap, Draco carefully tugging each one off.

Harry peeled an orange and handed a wedge to Draco.

Their fingers grazed, and Draco took it. The tender flesh; if he pressed just a little harder with his fingers, it would burst into a juicy mess.

Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?

Dinner and Diatribes by @ohdrarry. E, 4.8k. Socialising isn't Harry's thing. Draco does his best to help.

And if his idea of helping is a touch skewed– well. Harry isn't complaining, is he?

Game On by @pennygalleon. T, 4.8k. Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.

City by the Bay by @caitlincheri28. M, 4.8k. Draco Malfoy had made all the wrong choices. After his time in Azkaban, falling in love with Harry Potter over parchment and ink, he decides he must attempt to make the right ones. Even if it means sacrificing his heart.

Dirty Fucking Dangles by p1013. E, 4.8k. The first time Harry watches Malfoy skate to the blue line, Harry can't drag his eyes away. His footwork is insane, and Harry's captivated. It doesn't hurt that when Malfoy takes his helmet off, his blond hair is plastered to his head like burnished gold and his eyes are the same color as an Alberta sky in midwinter. It doesn't hurt that Malfoy skates like he was born for it, that his puck handling makes Harry's breath catch, that when Malfoy scores—top shelf, hard enough to knock the goalie's water bottle off the net—he grins like a sunrise, too bright to look at and warm enough to make Harry sweat.

Float by @shiftylinguini. E, 4.9k After a night out, Harry wakes up feeling like he slept on concrete, like his body's made of sand, like he accidentally pissed on his housemate the night before.

Because he did accidentally piss on his housemate the night before.

Ferrety Little Mouths and How to Snog with Them by fluxweed. M, 4.9k. “I don’t think the size of your mouth has much to do with how good at kissing you are. People with ferrety little mouths can be good snoggers too.”

“You’re clearly an expert. You’ll have to teach me.”

sending my love all over you by @cavendishbutterfly. E, 4.9k. Draco figures out he’s got a praise kink. Harry figures it out faster. Or: five times Harry talks Draco to orgasm and one time Draco tries returning the favour

Fading in Love by Andithiel. E, 4.9k. Draco’s Dark Mark is fading, and everyone thinks he’s up to something. Everyone except Harry, that is, since he’s been too busy keeping his fuckbuddy situation with Draco a secret.

Continued in Part Three! (And here's Part One, if you missed it)

Give the authors some love! I also adore hearing if you found a new favorite fic or author.

I’ll be regularly adding to this, so if you’re seeing this as a reblog, feel free to check my Master List of Recommendations for the most current list. If you see yourself and you’re not tagged, or I've got a broken or misdirected link, please let me know!

[actuallyadhd]

The reason I realised I might have adhd was my brother, he's so clearly autistic so I did research to make sure.

When I brought it up with my mother she told me to not tell him.

I finally got my diagnosis after 3 years of trying to get it, of going deeper and deeper into it.

Idk, I never hated it? I never hated my adhd. Back in 2020 I was a more active person? In terms of doing the things I liked and doing art.

Now I'm slow, tired, fatigued.

And that happened after I took meds. Apparently ritalin prozac and anxiety meds aren't supposed to be taken together, Idk what my therapist was thinking.

She told me to get anxiety meds for my stimming, cause I stim cause I'm nervous. But I KNOW that I don't. I stim when I'm excited, or when I can't focus.

When I'm anxious, when I'm angry I go stiff a a rock, I get focused sharp, because I have to be, it's a defense mechanism.

I don't hate adhd I don't hate meds inheritly either. But I hate how my meds made me a zombie, that I was forced to go on them so I could achieve this academic goal.

Maybe if I lived in a place with better mental healthcare I wouldn't be dealing with the effects of bad medication and my worsening depression.

I'm slightly better now, but my executive function got fucked. I can't just, do the things I like anymore. I feel less feelings than I did before.

I don't hate myself I just, I guess I'm in a hurry to heal from everything when I'm still living with the people that abused and continue to abuse me emotionally.

Specially my abelist mother who keeps saying adhd and autism aren't a disability, and they're just a quirk like her being left handed.

My dad has finally came to the realisation that he probably has adhd like me.

I'm a uni student now and living in a dorm away from my family has helped me regain that control I had and live a healthier life. But I'm back now over the summer and I can feel myself going back to my old ways the more I stay at my family home.

Idk,

Is this cptsd? Idk what it is.

Is it bad to say I love my adhd? Usually at least. When there's no one breathing down my neck not letting me do my own thing, when I don't get pulled into random places and have a choice to stay. And say no.

I guess things will get worse before they get better....

Sent August 18, 2024

There's definitely a lot to unpack here. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I will do my best to offer suggestions and reassurance, as always.

It makes sense that your brother is autistic and you have ADHD; both are highly heritable, and seem to be related in some way. So it also makes sense that your dad has now realized he probably has ADHD!

I have a feeling this is going to be long, so have a cut.

Stimming & Anxiety

Neurotypical people think that the only reason for fidgeting is anxiety.

It's not.

As a general rule, it's either expressive (as when we're happy or excited or upset) or regulating (as when we need to focus or feel overwhelmed).

And if stimming or fidgeting isn't disruptive or hurting anyone (including yourself), it definitely doesn't need to be medicated. WTAF.

Medication Issues

Medication can be tricky. The wrong meds can cause more problems than they solve. Even the right med at the wrong dose can be a problem!

Examples from my own life:

Starting dose of Concerta didn't do much, next dose up gave me a week-long anxiety attack.

Starting dose of Welbutrin made me feel like I was About to Die for a week.

Dexedrine initially made me NOT HUNGRY for three weeks. I lost 10 lbs.

Strattera made me depressed and adversely affected my typing (been accurately touch typing since I was 11, suddenly was making really weird typos).

Good dose of sertraline (Zoloft) helped my anxiety and depression but caused me to start skin picking in earnest; next dose up had me closing in on serotonin syndrome.

Adderall worked well (until it didn't) but also made me feel ill after I ate yogurt.

It sounds like you would need to try other meds or other doses, preferably one at a time(!), to find what works best for you overall.

Executive Function & Depression

It sounds like your depression is your biggest problem right now. Depression can worsen executive functioning, so that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea to talk to your prescribing doctor about your medication regime. Ask what your options are and if you can please work on getting off the antidepressant so you can try something else.

Alongside this, you may well be dealing with ADHD burnout, which I am only just coming out of myself. It's a struggle, to be sure!

My best advice for that is to be gentle with yourself. Don't expect yourself to Do All the Things; instead, keep a master list of things that need to get done and choose three of them to focus on each day (your Goals) and three fun ones to try to get to each day (your gravy).

It's okay if sometimes one of your Goals is to get dressed.

Parent Stuff

It sounds like your mom is trying to make you feel better or maybe herself(?). If that's how she needs to think of this all, let her. What matters is that she understands when you're struggling and is willing to support you. If not, you might like to refer her to this Russell Barkley video.

It's great that your dad has realized he has ADHD, though! Even if he doesn't bother to pursue a formal diagnosis, just knowing that can help a lot since if he's having issues he knows where to find suggestions that are more likely to actually work (because stuff that works for neurotypical people almost never works for ADHDers, while stuff that works for us also works for NT's).

Family Systems Theory says that how we behave around our family members is directed by how our family works as a system. There are also smaller systems within the whole that affect how individuals relate to each other. This is why we tend to fall back into childhood patterns when we're around our family of origin. Those patterns are ingrained through years of conditioning.

CPTSD?

While I don't think Gabor Maté is right about trauma and ADHD, I do think that it's pretty common for ADHDers to have childhood trauma. We spend years getting in trouble for stuff we couldn't control and being held to a standard we simply can't reach due to our ADHD, and that affects our self-esteem and is (to my mind) a big reason why so many of us have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is that huge emotional reaction we can have to criticism (real or perceived).

I have found a lot of reassurance and helpful information about CPTSD through watching videos from the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. She reads letters from people and helps them with their problems, and she explains the problems faced by people who have CPTSD and offers ways to deal with them.

Loving ADHD

I don't think it's bad to love your ADHD. I do think it's a little weird, because most of us hate it a lot of the time, but I definitely see positives in my own life and view it as a neutral (if annoying) part of who I am.

I actually think it's great that you do love it, because it's going to be part of your life forever. Making sure you have systems in place to deal with the stuff that's challenging is going to be really important moving forward, but that's part of what this Tumblr is for.

Overall, I think you are probably doing better than you think you are, and once your meds get sorted you'll be in a much better space in general.

Followers, do you have anything to add, or any corrections to something I've said?

-J