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loliwrites · 5 months ago

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IV. Fortitude | Edelweiss

pairing: joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+, minors dni warnings/tags: jackson era!joel, sharpshooter!reader, age difference [joel is mid 50s, reader is early to mid 30s], joel lives forever fight me, switching povs, canon compliant violence, brief description of blood, mention of terrible humans, brief discussion of trauma-induced menopause, SMUT, greenhouse sex [sorry plants], unprotected p in v sex, reader rides joel within an inch of his life, oral [f receiving], gentle choking, praise kink [good girl, attagirl], terms of endearment [sweet girl, pretty girl], semi-somnophilia [joel’s partly awake], mutual masturbation, female reader, no physical description, protective!joel, no use of y/n. word count: 7.0k series masterlist a/n: we start with joel’s pov in this one. look at the tags, this is mostly pwp

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

“M’not sayin’ forever, Tommy. Just for a while. A week even,” Joel chased Tommy around his kitchen as he moved to prepare dinner. Elsewhere in the house, Maria was feeding the baby.

“When did you sleep with her?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re doin’ that thing you always do, Joel,” Tommy shook his head and threw a skillet onto the stove. “Going in full protector mode after you sleep with a woman. Did it in the 90s. Did it again with Tess. And now with her.” He threw a handful of cut up rhubarb into the pan with butter, “she’s too valuable on patrol. She needs to go,”

Joel clenched his jaw, the muscle by his temple pulsing. “She needs a break, Tommy.”

“We all–”

“Goddammit!” Joel pounded his fists against the counter, “she’s been goin’ out with me six days a fucking week. Six days a week, thinking she’s gonna run into one of ‘em and be dragged back into that nightmare. Get fuckin’ violated on a daily basis for kicks. So excuse me if I’m goin’ full protector mode. I’m out there with her everyday. I have to go into protector mode. And it’s not just ‘cause I’m sleeping with her. You’d do the same thing if you knew what I know. Just…” he shook his head, “stick her in the greenhouse or somethin’. Give her a breather,”

“So you are sleeping with her,” Tommy smirked, pushing the rhubarb around.

Joel stared at his brother with supreme annoyance and rolled his eyes, “Tommy.”

“Okay, greenhouse, fine. Just for a week, Joel. They’ve been coming in closer and I don’t think they’re gonna stop so long as the weather’s bad,”

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

You weren’t sure what you had done wrong. One day you’re falling into a routine with Joel on patrol, establishing a shorthand together that makes the work easier. And the next you’re banished to the greenhouse. Well, maybe not banished. But Tommy had pulled you aside one morning when you arrived at the stables to saddle your horse, and told you that you’d be staying in Jackson this week. That he’d be going on patrol with Joel. If it wasn’t banishment, it sure felt like punishment. As your head hung low and you shuffled back to the greenhouse, you wondered if Joel had said something to Tommy about your entanglement. Maybe he’d regretted doing it and asked his brother to step in and create a little distance between the two of you.

It had been a few days since then. A few days of walking into the greenhouse and seeing Wendy’s perpetual smile and wondering why you weren’t able to do the same. A few days of replaying that night with Joel in your mind and trying to figure out where it went wrong. A few days of not seeing him. It shouldn’t have been like this. It shouldn’t have gone so far for you to be thinking… wondering… about him all day long. It shouldn’t have gotten to the point that you were second-guessing yourself. What if he didn’t like the way you did something? What if he’d been expecting more and didn’t want to deal with your “shortcomings”?

And it was perhaps a little ridiculous for your brain to have gone down this route. How many patrols had you gone on that when Joel got home, all he wanted to do was collapse onto his couch, sip a beer, and try to ignore the pang of hurt in his lower back. Maybe it was nothing. And maybe it was everything.

Between planting, watering, pruning, and harvesting, you found time to hide away in the corner of the greenhouse and admire the edelweiss. It had grown stronger in its time outside. Spending the days out in the elements, while being safely stored inside during the night, had given its root system to dig in. The stems more robust. The flower had found a way of being sturdy enough to survive the world and yet flexible enough to bend with the wind.

Wendy called out just as you’d wedged your foot between the door and the jamb. Hands full with the tray of edelweiss, you used your body to slink into the greenhouse, saving the flowers from the harsh winter night. She was heading home and suggested you do the same before the storm blew in. Judging by what you’d just endured out there, you figured the storm had already blown in. But after humming a noncommittal response to her, you heard the door open and knew she’d be on her way back home safe and warm. Into the arms of her partner. And knowing that, it put you in no particular rush to get back to your little cottage all alone.

You’d only just arranged the edelweiss tray back on its work table when you heard the door open back up. Maybe it had gotten worse out there. But far be it from Wendy to enter a room without a statement. And not hearing her voice ringing out through the glass walls, you looked up from the work table.

There he was. Walking toward you in no particular rush. It’d only been a handful of days but he looked different than your mind had allowed you to remember. His graying curls looked longer. They cascaded down to his neck and curled around his ears. His beard was a little fuller than it had been on your night with him. His gait so slow you wondered if he’d keep up the momentum to take the next step. You wanted to run up and jump into him – either kissing or swatting at him, you weren’t sure which would come first. With exhibited restraint, you only turned to face him head on; your hands nervously fiddling at your sides. Once Joel was a few steps away, you spotted that not only did he look a little worse for wear, but his clothes did too. His winter coat ripped at the shoulder seam. The sleeve hung on for dear life. And the coat itself looked like it’d been caked in mud, now dried and spattered everywhere. He even had a cut on his cheek that was a couple days old. No longer bleeding, but just by the look of it, you knew it was deep enough to have been one that took awhile to clot.

“Hi,” his voice was far lower than his normal volume. Though you heard him clearly, you lacked the immediate ability to respond more than a nod. “Miss me?”

You shook your head. That was obviously a lie and you figured Joel knew that too, judging by the smile that flickered across his face. He brought his hand up to your chin and used the leverage to tilt your head back, making it impossible for you to look anywhere but at him. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip; eyes being directed to the plush skin.

Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours with force. In between deep breaths, he muttered the three little words you’d been longing to hear. The ones that would reassure you he hadn’t been purposefully avoiding contact. “I missed you.” He pushed his tongue into your mouth, finding yours and it elicited a moan from him. He stepped forward into you, crowding you up against the work table. His hands moving around to your back and sliding all the way down to your ass, which he squeezed at the first possible moment. “Missed this,” he mumbled over your lips. One hand lowered between your ass and pressed up against your jeans until he hit the resistance of your entrance against it.

A whimper made its way from your throat and into Joel’s mouth. Your hands lifted to his chest; fingers curled around his flannel and tugged. At the present moment, unsure if you wanted to keep him close or push him away. Not that you’d get too much time to ponder it. Joel lifted a hand to your neck, fingers on one side, thumb on the other. It lacked any real pressure though you remained acutely aware of the feeling.

“How ‘bout you drop your pants and turn around for me?”

“Someone might see us,” you looked out, freezing with hesitation.

Joel’s fingers tightened around your throat by the smallest amount and you looked back up into his eyes. “No one’s gonna see us,” he reassured but it didn’t get you moving. “Drop your pants to your ankles, turn around, and bend over with your forearms on the table,”

The resoluteness in his gaze and voice convinced you he was right. No one would see you. They’d have to be absolutely crazy to be out in the snow flurry. So your hands went to the button of your jeans and undid it. The move to lower the zipper was even slower. Joel nodded to you, yes on the right track. And when you bent forward to push them down your legs, his hand moved from your neck to the back of your head. His massive paw cradling the back of it. Your head was so close to his waist; you figured that’s what his real intent had been. Though your pants were down, instead of returning upright, you got down on your knees and reached for his belt.

“Oh, good girl,” he growled. “Y’wanna suck on my cock?”

Your eyes flicked up to him, not sure if your answer was actually yes or no. Ultimately, you wanted him to feel good. To not put you through the mental torment you’d spent the last few days muddling through.

“Think you could take all of it without choking?” But Joel took your hand in his and pulled you back up to your feet, “later. Turn around and bend over f’me.”

Obliging, you spun around and faced the work table. Staring at it with wide eyes, you bent over until your forearms rested over the sanded wood like he had asked of you. And looking over your shoulder, you watched as he knelt down (his knees fighting against the action), and he softly stripped you of your underwear; coaxing them down over your legs until they met with your pants at your ankles. He groped at your ass with both hands and spread the cheeks apart, presenting your most intimate areas to him. And without restraint or contemplation, he licked his lips and leaned in to you. Kissed your entrance and quickly followed it up with his tongue. Rimmed your hole and then closed his mouth around you.

Your head bowed forward, nearly hitting the table. A hum for continuation filled the space between you, and your thighs trembled when Joel ducked lower and slid his tongue to your clit. Fists squeezed in on themselves forming slight crescent shapes in your palm. And just when you didn’t think it could feel any better, Joel shifted back to your entrance, pairing it with his fingers on your clit. While he massaged the sensitive bud with insistent fingertips, his tongue rolled over your hole, urging it open and relaxed.

“Joel,” you gasped, reaching with one hand and making contact with the back of his head. You pressed on it, pushing him tighter to you. To give you more, more, more. “Oh, god–” your legs stumbled further apart. The clinking of a belt buckle rang out and it wasn’t long from there that you heard Joel starting to stroke himself.

His lips and tongue never stopped moving and were matched perfectly to the rhythm of his fingers. Even when he pressed his tongue past your tight muscle, it seemed all part of this dance you were just starting to learn. Cheek now firmly pressed to the table, you moaned and whined for release or reprieve. He could give you either.

The climax snuck up on you again. Just a split second of realization between feeling good and feeling amazing. Your legs trembled beneath you. Had the table not been beneath you and providing your only true support, you’d have been a sobbing heap on the floor. Joel spread his large hands over your quads, rubbing them down. His lips never left your core, lapping up every drop your body was inclined to give him. And only once your legs stopped twitching, did he rise from his knees.

His pants fell to his feet but you couldn’t bring yourself to use the energy to stand up. Your lungs were still on fire, sucking in deep breaths. Not even fully recovered before Joel wrapped an arm over your chest and hauled you up. Your back pressed tight to his chest; his lips at your ear. But what held your attention most was the feeling of his length pressing between your legs. His hand guided his member into place, notched the head at your entrance, then gripped onto your ass again to give him the space to move more freely. And the hand that was pressed over your chest shifted down to the table, right beside yours. He’d been so cautious the first time. So adamant about taking it slow, about listening to you – about using protection. This was so different from that. So frantic. Almost like them.

“Let’s see if we can make you come all over my cock,” he whispered in your ear.

Before you could respond, he pushed his hips forward, burying himself balls deep inside you in one thrust. You shrieked and tried to wiggle your hips away, but Joel lifted his hand from the table and cupped your sex. Fingertips ghosted over your clit for the time being.

“Where’re you goin’?” He smiled, kissed just below your earlobe, and began thrusting up into you, unintentionally pressing his tip against the opening to your cervix. “Feel how deep I am? Look,” Joel pressed on your lower belly which seemed to bulge each time he forced himself back into you. “All up in you. Look how you fit me so deep inside you,”

He was relentless. Taking as much as he wanted in the moment. And you, already growing sore, were there just to take it. Your ass stung with the slap of his sweat-sheened skin against yours. You wondered if this was just how it went. That all men reverted back to selfishness. That there was actually very little that separated Joel from them. The way your hip bumped into the table told you that you were going to be left with a bruise you’d seen before. You could feel your thoughts slipping away. You were on the edge of disconnecting yourself; quietness replacing the sounds of pleasure. Surely he wouldn’t notice.

Maybe he’d come back to himself. Or maybe he realized you were removing yourself from the act. But Joel’s touch to your clit grew gentler, his thrusts while still chasing an orgasm, were less harsh on your body. And his lips on your neck delivered feather light kisses up the side, back to your ear. With a voice like velvet, he purred in your ear, “oh, sweet girl. I missed you this week,”

That was all you needed to come back to him. Those simple words to remember that there was a great deal that separated Joel from the others. You let out a needy whimper. This one paired with your head turning to the side, searching for his lips. He lifted his head and kissed you slowly, letting each nerve ending feel him there. And his hips slowed to accommodate the tender action. He grinded into you, circling his hips for a continued depth. Another whine and you could feel Joel’s lips stretch into a grin against yours.

“Yeah? Tell me about it,” he pulled back and stared down into your eyes, hips returning to languid thrusts, pulling nearly all the way out and then plunging himself back in until he bottomed out.

“Missed you,” while never breaking eye contact, you lifted your hand and held on to his wrist that was still wrapped around you. His fingers rubbing over your bud like he had no particular plans of stopping soon. “Tommy wouldn’t let me go on patrol. I wanted–”

“I know,”

You silently questioned his words. Did he know what you wanted? Or did he know why Tommy hadn’t let you out past the gates? Everything was put on the back burner when your body clenched around his shaft and it pulled a guttural moan from him. His body smothered yours over the table. His hips stuttered forward.

“M’gonna come,” he pressed down on your back and pinned your chest to the table. “Where–”

“Inside,”

“No,” he argued and was almost undone at the sight when he looked down at his waist and bore visual witness to his shaft moving in and out of you, covered in your slick. “Too soon,”

You reached back as best you could for his hip, trying to hold him place, “doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does,” he pulled himself out. With one hand stroking himself with fury and the other pressed against the back of your head to hold you still, he came over your lower back. Rope after rope of his spend hit the dip in your back and dripped down along the curve of your spine at your lower back. And with a deep exhale, he released his length and let it rest against your backside.

When he let go of your head, you leaned up on your elbows and looked back at him, “was it good?”

A boyish smile flashed over his lips, “it was great.” He flexed his hips forward into you, “let me find something to clean you up.”

“There’s some rags in the bin by the door.” You watched his progress of pulling his pants back up into place before he went to retrieve a rag. On his way back, you propped your head up in your hand. “Could’ve avoided this if you came inside me,” you pursed your lips matter-of-factly, “not like you’re gonna knock me up.”

He wiped the rag over your back until you were cleaned of his come. “I don’t want you to think I’m only having sex with you so I can come inside you. Ain’t doin’ it like it’s just some kink to fill you up,”

“I don’t think that,”

“I’m not like them.”

Joel tossed the rag onto the work table and you stood up to face him. With your pants still around your feet, it was almost like you were presenting yourself to him. “Definitely not like them. You’ve made me come,”

A flush rose in his cheeks and he hooked his arm around your shoulders to pull you into a haphazard kiss. You leaned in to him as well; your palm pressing into his crotch again. But Joel laced your fingers with his and led your hand away and up to his chest.

“I appreciate you but…” he kissed your forehead once and then took a step back, “it don’t work as fast as it used to.” He tapped your hip softly, “c’mon, let’s get you home.”

You pulled your pants back into place and did them up, whereupon Joel took your hand and led you out of the greenhouse. Just before you stepped back out onto the streets of Jackson, you wondered if he’d drop your hand, or if anyone would see the act. But it all was unfounded because the moment you stepped outside, you knew you wouldn’t see anyone on the street. The wind whipped your hair into your face, and it took almost all your concentration to keep it subdued.

In fact, you’d never been so happy to see your little, half-dilapidated cottage. So much that you were the one to drop Joel’s hand to run up the porch and furiously shove your key into the lock. The winters weren’t getting any less harsh.

Joel was right behind you, and thankfully didn’t turn away at the entry, but rather followed you in and locked the door behind him. Good. He had plans to stick around for a while.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Warm, fed, and curled up beneath a wool blanket on the couch, you watched Joel add a couple logs to your wood-burning stove. He poked them around and once adjusted to his liking, slotted the little door shut and groaned when he got back onto his feet.

You slipped a hand out from beneath the blanket and reached out in his direction. Making grabby hands at him until you were convinced he was on his way over to you to stay. When he lowered himself onto the couch, you wrapped the blanket around your shoulders and scurried over into his lap; feeling almost foolish at the level of closeness you desired. But that feeling only seemed to be one sided because Joel herded you there and wrapped both arms around your waist.

After a quick lean in to peck his lips, you lifted your hand to his cheek where the healing cut was and carefully brushed your fingers over it, “how’d you get this?”

He was staring at your lips but when you questioned him again with a hum, he glanced up into your eyes, “on patrol.”

“Yeah, but how,” you moved your hand down to his jaw and scritched through his whiskers. “What happened?”

Joel knew he wasn’t going to lie to you but he also didn’t want to say too much. Maybe he’d tell you that he and Tommy had run into some more people perceived to be part of your old group, but would leave out that they had another girl with them. Maybe he’d say that they managed to handle the men, but would leave out that when they tried to help the girl – to bring her back to Jackson – she took off running. And he’d definitely leave out the fact that he and Tommy wondered if they should take her out before she had a chance to tell the others about what had happened. In the end, they didn’t, and knew they’d deal with whatever they had to in the aftermath.

“We ran into a couple guys,”

“From…?”

He nodded and eased your hair back, away from your face, “think so.”

“Did you…?”

“They’re not going to hurt anyone ever again,” he set his hand down on your thigh and gave it a squeeze. “I asked Tommy to take you off patrol for awhile,”

You inhaled slowly. A part of you thought this confession would’ve been met with anger, but you felt everything but. Instead you nodded and fiddled with a button on his shirt.

“M’tryin’ to protect you. I don’t want you to have to keep remembering these guys,”

You nodded again. No matter how much disappointment you may’ve been feeling about it all, it paled in comparison to the empathy you had for him. It was never going to be easy for you, but you understood how hard it must’ve been for him to watch you be affected. You pushed your hand back through his hair with something resembling love, “I want to be useful and that’s the best way I know how. If it’s too much, I can ask for a different partner.”

The look of pseudo-betrayal on Joel’s face took you aback. “No. If you’re going out, I’m the one goin’ with you,” he leaned in for another kiss, both hands now cupped around your face. He tilted his head to the side and parted his lips but in a flash, pulled away and gave you the more incredulous of looks, “goin’ out with someone else... You must be crazy,”

Heat emanated throughout your body. Slowly but surely, it was happening. Joel Miller was making you his.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

At some point sleep would befall you, right? Wrong. It seemed less than restful, but at least Joel was sleeping. Sometimes on his stomach, limbs all outstretched. And sometimes – like now – on his back with one hand on his chest and the other flung out, hanging off the side of the bed. You wondered if he was dreaming about anything in particular, or if the semi he was sporting was the doing of something more involuntary.

Rolling over onto your side into him, you set a gentle hand on his stomach, waiting to see if that would be enough to wake him. No luck. “Joel,” you whispered into the ether. Then just slightly louder, “Joel.”

“Hmph,”

You tried shaking him but it didn’t rouse him any further. At least not to the point of having him open his eyes, “Joel,” you whined a little louder. And when that didn’t work, you let your hand drift down from his stomach and to his crotch.

A stronger exhale came from him and figuring you were on the right track, you curled your fingers around his covered shaft and gave him a soft squeeze. He stretched out the tiniest amount so you inched in closer to him, your lips now at his neck, suckling on his skin while your hand began moving up and down the underside of his covered cock.

“Joel,”

“Hmm?”

You bit into his neck with more purpose, “I need you.” And now rolling your hips into his side, “you made me all sore and achy.” Even in the darkness, you swore you saw his lips twitch into a smirk. “Want you to fill me up,”

He took a deep breath and slowly blinked awake. Then turning his head on the pillow, he looked over at you. His voice low and gravelly, “yeah? You think you can take it right now?”

In this moment, you didn’t care how eager you looked, nodding wildly at him.

“How do I know you’re wet enough?” Joel reached forward and undid the first couple buttons on his flannel that you now wore. Enough to see your breasts; nipples perking up in the cool night air. “Show me,”

Hesitancy washed over you, hoping you’d do this correctly. Unsure of what he was expecting, you removed your hand from his length and slid it beneath the sheets and between your legs. Two of your fingers running down your slit and circling around your core. Embarrassingly wet, you thought. You never broke eye contact with Joel but when you pulled your hand out from beneath the sheets, you again grew unsure of what he was expecting.

Out of the darkness, “set ‘em here.” The moonlight coming through the window silhouetted his face in the most beautiful way. Beyond the outline of his features, you could see he’d pursed his lips.

You brought your fingers closer to him and when they were nearly there, Joel opened his mouth. A clear invitation to resting your fingers on his tongue. He moaned at first taste and you could only watch in awe as he sucked reverently at your fingers and reached down to cup his manhood. His tongue worked over both fingers together, up and down the length of them, being sure that no part went un-licked. And when he started slowing down, you slid them out of his mouth, still staring at him in awe.

“I don’t think you’re wet enough,”

An exasperated whimper. “Joel,”

“C’mere,” he nodded his head to the side, ushering you nearer. “Get on top of me and show me how nicely you touch yourself,”

No other coaxing was needed for you to scramble on top of him, being careful to straddle him completely instead of kneeing him in the dark. Only you didn’t exactly realize how far you’d have to straddle. Almost painfully so. Your quads and hamstrings put in the work to keep yourself up enough so you could perform the act he’d asked of you.

Joel pressed his hands to your ass to guide you forward, up closer to his bellybutton than his cock. One hand remained there but the other drifted away. You figured to his shaft, and were proved right when you felt the head of his cock bump against your ass, at the mercy of his frantic strokes.

“Go on. Let me see,”

Slowly, you let your hand snake between your spread legs, somehow not losing the courage to maintain eye contact with Joel despite the fact that something like this had never happened with anyone before. Deft fingers circled over your clit and you added pressure to your knees to lift yourself off of him enough to slide your fingers back to your entrance. When you returned them to your clit, the slick you’d gathered helped your fingers slide easier. Head bowing and chest heaving, you released a low, reverberating moan.

The muscles in Joel’s stomach flexed and he pulled his hand away from his length, bringing it up and underneath his head. With the other, he reached up and nudged his flannel off your shoulders. The fabric fell to your elbows, freeing your upper half from anything to conceal it. Finding Joel’s eyes on you, they seemed to twinkle upon having an unobstructed view of your breasts. Couldn’t even keep himself from taking a handful of your flesh, tapering down to his index finger and thumb around your nipple. You dropped yourself to his waist and grinded yourself against him.

“Look at you, pretty girl,”

There was unadulterated admiration in his eyes but you found it hard to look in them for very long. No one had ever looked at you like that for this reason. Sure, with your rifle, people you’d come across had all given you a similar type of look. But nothing like this. And with your fingers on yourself, you thought you could see stars in a way like never before. Joel had other plans for you though.

A firm squeeze on your hip got your immediate attention. “Ready to go for a ride?”

“What?”

Joel lifted his hips off the bed and up into you to get his point across. “Get after it,”

It was all you had wanted. When you rolled over into him and set your hand over his member, your intent had been for him to fill the void he’d created within you. So despite the nerves, once you understood the objective, you (as Joel put it) got after it. Lifted yourself up onto your knees just as much as was necessary to reach back between your legs and grab onto his length.

You stared directly in his eyes when you notched it at your entrance and slowly lowered down on him. His jaw fell slack; glassy-eyed and partially still fighting sleep. And the moment you were fully seated on him, his eyes drifted shut. The hand on your hip tightening around the curve there.

Oh he felt good. Molded out of something heavenly and fit inside you like a puzzle piece you didn’t know had been missing. And like this – sitting on top of him, feeling like you had every bit of control you desired was something beyond new. It almost made you wish that all the other times had been like this, while simultaneously so relieved that the first time it was like this was with Joel.

Rocking back and forth on him at your own speed was divine. Each slight movement provided the perfect amount of friction to your clit. Better than fingers could do. Better than the way his body had rubbed against you when he was on top. You could press down on him as hard as you wanted to. And you did. Grinded down on him and circled your hips. Almost as if you were using him in the same type of way you had been used all those times before. Judging by the look on his face, you doubted if Joel cared about being used for this. His hand remained ever present on your hip and whenever the rhythm started to falter, his fingers gripped into you and helped you along. A steady pattern of movement returning to you.

“Fuck me,” he growled, voice lowering in timbre. His eyes were glued to where your bodies met. The sight of his length thrusting up into you and then coming back into sight, covered in your arousal, was almost more than he could bear. In his ascending age, he surprised himself in even being able to last as long as he had. “Squeezin’ me so good. Like you’re made for me, huh?”

A hum and a feeble nod was all you could manage. The feeling that your voice would be insufficient at the given moment was growing more real. Was this how it was supposed to feel? Decidedly, yes.

But Joel, a man not easily satisfied, wouldn’t take that for an answer. Wouldn’t let you get away with something so noncommittal. He lifted his hips clear off the bed, pushing up into you until you shrieked at the pressure of the head of his cock pressing against your cervix. “Say it,”

You threw your head back and stared up a the ceiling, desperately dragging your core along him. “M’made for you,”

“Again,”

Eyes lowered back down to Joel, capturing his face in the glow of the moonlight. Despite the immense pleasure you were getting from him, you wanted to smack him. What was he doing to you? “M’made for you,”

A smirk slid over his lips, encapsulating all of his features, “again,”

“Joel,” you whined, burying him back inside you to the hilt. You circled your hips again, keeping him deep and somehow needing him even deeper.

“Say it again and I’ll give you what you want,”

A growl rumbled in your throat. Frustration in you that only made him smile harder. “I’m made for you,”

You didn’t know it was possible for his smile to get even wider. And as promised, he set forth to give you what you wanted. A strong arm wrapped around your back, and one moment you were on top of him, and the next, you were being whipped around like a ragdoll. Body hit the mattress with force. Joel reached between and guided himself back inside you. A whisper of a moan floated out of his mouth and into yours when he pressed in for a kiss. Lips parted and tongue reaching for yours, you took everything he gave.

Knowing you were fully distracted by his lips, Joel hooked his hand beneath your knee and brought your leg up along his chest. Your foot dangled over his shoulder, and you pulled away from his kiss and looked up at him with a furrowed brow and a wince. He replaced his hands to the bed on either side of you and rocked his hips forward again, causing a deepening of your frown.

“Too much?”

“No,” you closed your eyes and made the conscious effort to allow your body to take in everything you were feeling and assign elsewhere but pain. “I think I like it,”

“Attagirl,”

Had your eyes been open, you would’ve found Joel beaming. Oozing satisfaction. If he had known this was what was going to happen between you two, he probably wouldn’t have held a gun so steadfastly to your face when you first met a few months back. Now he let your leg fall from his chest into a much more natural position, and lowered himself in between your legs. Your thighs the perfect cradle for him. His thrusts changed from a long, deep, sweeping motion into much shorter presses inside where his shaft stretched you to capacity; your body stinging in pleasure.

He buried his face into your neck and suckled at your skin with passion while your hand snaked to the back of his head. Fingers tangled in his curls and gave them a generous tug. You could cry out at the feeling of his length rubbing against your front wall, and very nearly did, except that the sound of his voice, all playful and gravelly, rang in your ears.

“Like how I feel in ya’, babygirl?”

All you could do was whimper and nod. It wasn’t lost on you that Joel’s lips stretched into a smile. You could feel it on your skin.

“Y’think you can come like this?” He nibbled your earlobe softly.

Again, you could only muster a nod. This one paired with a needy moan. You certainly wanted him to make you come like this. It was all building in your lower stomach like it had when he’d gone down on you. But that was where the similarities ended. You had felt that orgasm coming in practically every nerve ending in your body. It was everywhere. Pure ecstasy. This felt much more concentrated to your core. All of it, right there where you were connected. It wasn’t not ecstasy. Just different.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he whispered, administering a slightly rougher bite to your neck. “Let me feel you soak me,”

“Joel,” you cried out, an actual tear falling from the outer corner of your eye.

“Yeah?” He pulled his head back away from you and nodded, encouraging, “give it to me. Show me how good I make you feel,”

In this moment of extreme vulnerability, his eyes on you felt like they were piercing your heart. Ripping away your armor and leaving your soul bare to him. It was almost too much.

Joel felt the way you tensed and strained beneath him. It wasn’t just the muscles squeezing his length, it seemed like it was every muscle in your body. He shook his head kindly, “so pretty like this. All stretched open and stuffed full of me. Takin’ me so well. You were made for me, babygirl,”

Your fingers yanked at his hair harder. It was the only thing you knew to do with the feelings going on inside you. Thankfully it appeared he knew what that meant and he didn’t change a thing. Not the speed, the force, the rhythm. Kept everything exactly the same. He was going to be the first man to get you to finish like this.

Legs squeezed tighter around his hips. Biceps and abs flexed and held tense. Your entire body stiffened as the coil in your stomach snapped. A flash of white blurred out your vision and the ringing in your ears started thereafter. And then, the trembling began. It started in your legs; thighs basically vibrating against his hips. Then the shivers moved up by way of your spine until you were just a spasming mess beneath Joel. He, of course, took it all in stride wearing a proud smile. His thrusts softened but didn’t stop completely.

It was actually how you realized he was about to pull out to finish. He’d been steady through everything. Not evening the clenching of your core had made him switch up his pattern. But when his backward pull was longer than the rest had been, you knew he was about to pull out. The airy groan that came from him was also a pretty good indication.

“No,” you lowered your hands to his ass and dug your nails into his flesh. “Inside, I want it inside,” you tilted your head back, panting, but still had the power to nip at his jaw. “I earned it,”

He laughed. A quick exhale of air but in his current position, was not in the state to object too vehemently anymore. It only took one more. He simply pressed himself back into you balls deep and began painting your insides with his spend. Joel let out a deep, labored moan and settled down on top of you. The weight of him kept you present in this moment; always keenly aware that a man had just came inside you yet it was one you had asked that of.

The feeling of him softening inside you riled you enough to lift your hand back to the side of his head, tucking a curl behind his ear. A well-placed kiss to his temple got him moving, too. “Still with me?” you mocked, scritching his head.

With a tone of feigned hurt, “I’m not that old.” As if to prove that point, he pushed up on his hand and lifted himself – almost got out of your octopus grip before you held on to keep him in place. He glanced back down at you with a boyish grin, “just gonna grab something to clean you up.”

“I don’t need to be cleaned up,” you dared to look him right in the eye. All the walls were down now. While he rolled onto his back, you turned into him, head in the crook of his neck, and rested your hand on his chest. “Do you have nightmares?”

“Sometimes. You?”

You nodded and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about how when you were a kid, your bedroom ceiling was riddled with glow in the dark stars and planets. The one above you now was pitch black. “What’re they about?”

Joel looked up at the ceiling too. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go down a long, dark path about the night of the outbreak. About Sarah. Wasn’t sure he was strong enough to relive it in consciousness. Reliving it in his subconsciousness was bad enough. “Usually that first week of outbreak. Unfortunately all those things are real and not just somethin’ my mind made up.” He glanced back over at you from his periphery, “how ‘bout yours?”

“Strangely enough, all the recent ones have been about not returning to… here. Been a long time since my nightmares were about losing home,”

He turned and lifted his head enough to kiss your forehead. When he settled back on his side, he flung his arm over you and pulled you in closer to his broad frame, “luckily here’s not going anywhere.”

Soon Joel’s breathing started to even back out; a reminder that you’d woken him out of a dead sleep. You turned away from him, scooting back as delicately as you could until your back hit his chest. In an early stage of sleep, his arm squeezed around you. Although it hadn’t started this way, after your eyes had drifted shut, it was the first stint of restful sleep that you’d had in a long, long time.

#joel miller x reader #jackson!joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fluff #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #ppcu fanfiction #edelweiss fic

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valentine-cafe · 21 days ago

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May I have a rhubarb and strawberry crumble please?!

[Afab reader]

Just thinking about being his sweet little pillow princess!! He'll let you lie in any position you want while he fucks you full of his cum over and over!!:D

-🍄

˖⁺. ﹙ rough snake god bf x afab!reader. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . . want to switch position hm? !! 🍒 : snake god ˖ 'siren' ˖ god character﹙ verse 164 talisen. ﹚

you're his pretty little pillow princess, so good to him, letting him fuck you in so many angles and positions

The atmosphere within the room is intense, as is the loud erotic noises of your bodies joined together on maroon bedsheets. Heavy pants and groans scattered along moans and whimpers of someone getting wrecked into a creaking bed.

Little pathetic attempts of calling for him as your hands grip onto his chest and neck: “T-Tal-i-ze-senn— T- Ah— ah! ah!!!” Oh the sounds are blissful to him.

Your legs swung over his shoulders, while you moan and call for him like this? It takes little to make him cum. He adores when you ask so nicely for him to ‘pleas-ssz—ze, p-huh—ah, s-switch hic’ the positions he puts you in.

Who would he be to deny any of your requests that spill out of your mouth in the same fashion as your squirting pussy that takes him so well and openly.

Welcoming him inside over and over again and draining ever last drop of cum he has to give. . .

You send him to places he could never be able to go as the corrupt being he is.

A swift shift and the throw of a leg is enough to send you down on your tummy. Pressed against the bedsheets while he begins taking you from behind. His body pressed heavy up against yours while his cock ruts into your cunt repeatedly and with no mercy.

“That feel good baobei?” He whispers into your ear. Cold, slender hands running up your waist and squeezing carefully along with the way tight walls clench around him needily.

Gasping, as you barely manage to squirm below him, all you can do is nod and let out a little ‘yes!!’ as the fast, shallow and heavy pace persists.

It makes your eyes loop.

The way he manhandles you the second another load of cum shoots out of his throbbing cock. You don’t know what you do to him, the way your walls flutter against him makes his knees buckle and bend every time.

Loving kisses spread across the back of your shoulders, his hips losing their rhythm just slightly. Becoming more desperate and haphazard.

Every plap of his heavy balls tapping against the plush skin of your ass force a little whine out of you. The groaning from above you certainly doesn’t help. If only you could see the way he was staring at the way your ass ripples every time his hips impact with it.

“T— aHhah!!” You moan out again, his hips slowing slightly to let you speak.

“W—wanna ride you-”

That certainly was nothing you had to gasp out twice until you felt yourself getting shifted and hoisted on top of your boyfriend. Spurting dick fucking upwards vigorously, while his hands aided you with rolling your hips until you could register and do it yourself.

Your head was thrown back the second you were sitting on his cock. Bouncing away at it like the slut you know you are.

“That’s it so pretty my dear. Oh you are a delight,”

And oh the honeyed words are so full of love. You’d think with the way he fucked you as if he hated you, the degradation would be flowing throughout the room. Yet instead, his words differed so much from his actions. It was hard to not react with a loud moan.

#﹙ cupcake rush. ﹚: talisen 164 𖹭 ݁#monster boyfriend #teratophillia #smut #monster smut #terato #monstet fucker #monster x reader #x reader #reader insert #god x reader #snake monster x reader #siren x reader #oc x reader #original character x reader #monster oc #talisen 164 #asterism

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 9 months ago

Text

The Stranger 6

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Destroyer!Chris

Summary: A stranger buys the farmstead nearby and disturbs your sleepy village life.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your grandmother waits for you on the porch. She has a book in hand as she sits on the wooden swing, nose scrunched beneath the wire of her glasses. She looks up as you near the bottom of the steps, the wagon rolling and rattling loudly behind Chris.

“Gramma,” you’re nearly breathless as you step up on the lowest step, “I got the groceries.”

She looks up over the frames of her glasses and closes her book. She clears her throat as she sets it beside her on the flat cushion and fixes the kinks around her ears. She stands with her slight hunch and tugs at the front of her handspun blouse.

“And who’s this?” She preens, “I wasn’t expecting company, sir.”

“Um,” you hesitate, waiting for him to answer. He doesn’t, “this is Chris?”

“Chris, ma’am,” he echoes at last, “I’m new around here. Just bought some property down the way. Wanted to come by and say thanks for that pie. Lucky me, we ran into each other in town.”

“Oh, gosh, that is so sweet,” she fawns as she comes to the top of the stairs, “I’m Sadie, I hope you enjoyed the pie. I didn’t have much left in the pantry, I know rhubarb’s not for everyone.”

“It was delicious,” he pushes the handle up and lets it stand on its own, “please, don’t trouble yourself.” He steps past you up the stairs, “very nice to meet you at last. I’ve heard a lot from your granddaughter.”

He offers his hand and she takes it gently. They shake as she smiles. “You have?”

“Please, sit,” he insists and gestures her back to the swing.

“Oh, thank you,” she swoons, “I just had my hip done, you see? Only just back on my feet.”

“Then it’s a good thing I came by, isn’t it? Looks like you two could use a spare pair of hands.”

“Um, I’ll get the groceries inside–”

“So, you two… talk?”

“Yeah, she was nice enough to deliver that pie and I guess we just hit it off. She didn’t say?” Chris sits beside her. You watch, dumbfounded. What is he talking about?

“No, she didn’t say she was sneaking off with some handsome man,” your grandmother trills.

“You are too nice, Sadie,” he grins, “I didn’t even get a chance to ask her out… you know, I know things are real old-fashioned around here so I thought I better check with you first.”

“Me? Oh, of course, of course!” She nearly claps her hands as she clasps them together, “my granddaughter… it’s about time she went out and had some fun. The dear helps me out so much–”

You grab a bag from the wagon and keep your chin down. Really? She doesn't call it help when you're alone. She tells you you're nagging or useless or irritating.

Chris clears his throat, “so I have your blessing?”

“Oh, certainly you do,” she squeals, “oh, honey, that’s so adorable.”

You look up as you climb the steps. Your stomach is doing somersaults. You can tell she’s already hearing bells. He has her in the palm of his hand and why not? She's only ever wanted you to finish the job your mother left undone. She wants someone she can boast about to the ladies at the quilting club.

“Woah, woah,” Chris stands as he glances over, “let me get that.” He stands and strides past your grandmother’s knees, “I’ll get everything sorted and you ladies can take it easy.”

“Now, that is just too much, sir.”

“It’s not enough,” he insists as he takes the bag from you, “Sadie, please call me Chris.”

“Chris,” she repeats, “you are a sweetheart, aren’t you?”

“Well, you know, it’s why I left the city. People don’t got much manners anymore. Out here, you all are so nice,” he turns and nears the front door, “can I get you something, Sadie? Water, tea?”

“I’m just fine, honey,” she chimes, “my, my, been so long since we had a man around to help.”

He nods and lets himself in through the screen door. You chew your lip and furrow your brow as he disappears inside. Your grandmother hisses your name.

“Dear, come here,” she points you next to her, “you didn’t say he was so handsome.”

“Gramma,” you groan as you drag your feet towards her.

“Oh, don’t you spoil this,” she grabs your wrist and tugs you down, “we’re gonna fix up one of your old dresses, do your hair nice…” she starts to pick at you.

“Gramma,” you drone again, “please–”

“Don’t be embarrassed. You’re a pretty young lady and he’s…” she makes a face, “well, isn’t he a certain kind. Never saw no men in my days with a jawline like that.”

You try not to cringe, forcing a smile again, “alright.”

“Try to be a little excited, dear! It’s your first date,” she exclaims, quickly tamping down her voice as the door opens squeakily.

She giggles and watches Chris as he goes to haul two more bags from the wagon. You watch him sheepishly and he looks over, sending you a grin that neatly hides away the sinister gleam in his eyes. You swallow and focus on your fidgeting hands as he once more passes through the front door.

“It’s not too late for you,” she pets your cheek and you flinch, “why don’t you go inside and ask him to stay for dinner.”

You stand and don’t say a word. As you go to the door, you hesitate. Your grandmother was never so happy about anything you did. No, but a complete stranger can walk up and have her singing his praises with just a ma’am and a smile.

#chris #dark!chris #dark chris #destroyer!chris #destroyer #drabble #backwoods au #au #the stranger #destroyer!chris x reader

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slasherhoe87 · 2 years ago

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🥧Slashers' Favourite Dish their S/0 Makes for Them🍲

Short and sweet. Just a little idea that popped into my head while watching Masterchef Australia

Feat. Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers (OG / Peepaw / RZ), The Sinclairs, Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Harry Warden, Thomas Hewitt

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

English Sunday Roast: pork roast with crackling, peas, yorkshire puddings, golden roast potatoes, roasted carrots, green beans and a boatload of brown gravy

Dessert? sticky toffee pudding

JASON VOORHEES

Cheesy Tuna Noodle Casserole - his mom made this dish for him all the time and he loved it

Dessert? lemon bars - another favourite of his that bring up the precious few good memories he has of his childhood

MICHAEL MYERS (OG)

Ground Beef Lasagna with extra white sauce

Dessert? pumpkin pie with a big dollop of vanilla cream

PEEPAW MYERS

Meatloaf with a side of creamy garlic mashed potatoes and roasted mix veg (its all easy on the teeth 😁😂)

Dessert? strawberry & rhubarb pie

RZ MICHAEL MYERS

Full Thanksgiving Dinner: roast turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn on the cob, dinner rolls, mix veg and lots of brown gravy and cranberry sauce (he remembers his mom when you make this and is flooded with good memories of her and him together)

Dessert? pecan pie

BO SINCLAIR

T-Bone Steak with a Loaded Baked Potato and Corn on the Cob as a side

Dessert? banana split

VINCENT SINCLAIR

Rump Steak with a Mixed Mushroom Sauce and a side of Sweet Potato Fries

Dessert? dark chocolate brownie with a scoop of mint ice cream

LESTER SINCLAIR

One-Pot Smoky Beans and Roadkill Meatball Stew

Dessert? ice cream sundae

BILLLY LOOMIS

Spaghetti Bolognaise with lots of Red Sauce

Dessert? chocolate lava cake - he likes watching the chocolate sauce spill out of from its middle

STU MACHER

Pepperoni Pizza

Dessert? birthday cake flavoured ice cream in a sugared cone with tons of sprinkles on top

HARRY WARDEN

Fillet Steak with a Red Wine Sauce, Garlic Parsnip Mash and Roasted Green Asparagus as a side

Dessert? black forest cake

THOMAS HEWITT

Chili Con Carne - likes it with ground beef you purchased from the butcher or with more... questionable ground "beef" - as long as you make it, he loves it

Dessert? peach cobbler

#brahms the boy #brahms heelshire #jason voorhees #michael myers #og michael myers #peepaw michael myers #rz michael myers #stu macher #billy loomis #ghostface #harry warden #thomas hewitt #lester sinclair #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair #slasher headcanons #slashers #slasher fandom #slasher community

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yurucamp · 1 month ago

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hello io! i hope that you're doing well (no stomach ache! or at least a manageable one..). i've been wanting to ask you about your favourite fruits, vegetables, and plants! you drew persimmon fruits recently, which i adore. i'm trying to plan gardening for the next planting season, so i'm asking lots of people. also wanted to thank you for sharing your photography - you've inspired me to take even more photos - i want to see beauty everywhere. hope that you're taking care. stay safe!

hi anon! what a wonderful question... honestly, it would be much easier for me to list the fruits and vegetables i don't like (i hate pineapples and am largely negative towards brussel sprouts). basically any vegetable can be prepared in a scrumptious way, but if i had to choose a handful to subsist off of, it would be radishes, cucumbers, red cabbage, sea buckthorn, endives, oyster mushrooms, pomegranate, figs, good apples (aport, macoun!), honey mandarins... oh, is rhubarb a fruit? i adore rhubarb most of all

as for planting, maybe you're not far north enough for it, but you should plant rhubarb, it's a perfect herald of spring! i also think fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, even if they are the most generic thing to plant, can beat out pretty much anything... i especially like the green zebra cultivar of tomatoes if you can find it, they are yummmmmmy!! and the zucchini conundrum is really a blessing, because they are such a versatile vegetable; lebanese zucchini fritters, georgian zucchini rolls, and any sort of sweet zucchini bread/muffin are all divine

good luck with your garden and thank you so much for the message! i'm so overjoyed to read it and hear that (about the photos); it's easy to feel silly for stopping to take a photo of everything, but i am so much better off for having the ability to preserve and recall the little spontaneous moments of beauty. (my mom beats me in this regard, i can't take a walk with her without losing her and then finding her crouched behind a dumpster trying to capture a photo of textures on the facade of an abandoned building. i have such a respect for her ability to find collage everywhere and i want to carry it into my own life.)

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femscottlang · 2 years ago

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The CPA and SSA- Part three

part one part two part three

Aaron Hotchner x accountant! reader

Summary- The case they're currently working on has gotten bad, the unsub has been stalking the team and they need a safe place to stay. Luckily, Aaron has a girlfriend in Arlington that he has yet to tell the team about.

Contents/ warnings; description of cases, a little bit of hurt/comfort, established relationship, just overall kinda fluffy and sweet :)

N/A- Sorry this took so long !! I am almost done with finals and will have a t o n of time to update and part 2 of S&M is coming soon!

Send me asks and requests! im happy to do blurbs on characters from CM and MCU :)

You silenced your watch buzzing against your wrist, opting for the vibration rather than an alarm in hopes of not waking the man holding you. You grumbled quietly and turned to face Aaron. This immediately erased your irritation from having to rise with the sun. For once, his brows were not furrowed and his face was completely relaxed. He looked 5 years younger with the worry washed away. You traced a finger along his jaw and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You struggled to wriggle out of his tight grasp, gently rolling the heavy sleeper over in order to finally escape. You stretched and then stood there watching him for another minute before going to the bathroom to get ready for the day

Hotch rolled over to wrap his arms around you before feeling am empty space. He shot up before he heard the sink turn on and you humming along to the classical music playing quietly. He sighed with a smile and looked at his watch. 6:32 AM. Even though Jack wasn’t there, you kept to your routine of waking up earlier to take a little time to yourself to get ready before either of them woke up. He ran his fingers through his hair and rolled his shoulders back. You walked out as you were running a brush through your hair “I was just about to wake you up. Felt it was unfair to get you up at 6” you said, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him and kissing him on the cheek

“You know, I always wake up when you’re getting ready? I just don’t get out of bed so you can have your alone time” he mumbled, reaching out and pulling you into his chest “thank you” you rubbed his arm and tried to sit up “Aaron you're gonna wrinkle my work clothes” you squirmed “Hon, let me go!” you laughed as he squeezed tighter before letting you go, getting out of bed and helping you up

“Do you have to go to work? Its honestly best if you don’t.” he said in a more serious tone. You looked at him for a second then huffed “should I really not go? Is it that serious?”

He nodded “Please?” he added, giving a guilty smile, you reached around to run your fingers through the back of his hair, “I won’t go if it's that important to you. On one condition. You have to keep the shirt on until after breakfast.” you grinned, letting go of him and turning to look at the stupid shirt he had on. If you didn’t know any better you would have assumed he was like every other dad in DC, but Aaron was special. Different.

He groaned “Fine! Fine. I'll wear it.” he grumbled in defeat, running his fingers through his bedhead before leaning forward to put his head against your shoulder as a not-so-subtle way of smelling your perfume. Rhubarb, sandalwood, and gardenia flooded his senses. The scent that was so uniquely you. Like a warm spring morning after a storm, wandering through a farmers market in your rainboots.

You let yourself take a moment and appreciate the sight in front of you. It was rare to see him so relaxed, even around you. Drowsiness radiating off of him, his shirt wrinkled from sleeping, slouching in order to be closer to you. Even though you couldnt see his face, you could feel him smile against your blouse. “I’ll call out then.” you murmured, rubbing his back

“it’ll give me a break from having to deal with interns” you rolled your neck in a circle as an attempt to stretch out the crick in your neck from using Aaron’s arm as a pillow. You weren’t much of a cuddler before you had met aaron, preferring your space when you slept and claiming you just got too hot at night. But after the first night sharing a bed with Aaron you were hooked. He held you as if someone would steal you from him. When you would move away, he would find a way to always be touching you, even if it was just his hand on your back.

“Good. They can find someone else.” He said, finally sitting up and pressing a kiss to your temple before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. You go to the closet and trade your blouse for one of aarons FBI t-shirts and your slacks for shorts.

You looked back at the bathroom to see Aaron trying to smooth out the wrinkles in his shirt. You shook your head with a smile and walked down to the kitchen to start making breakfast for everyone. You heard heavy footsteps down your creaky stairs, not bothering to turn around to see who it was. The routine happens the same almost every day, with the exception of you being coerced into taking a sick day. After you preheated the oven, you poured a cup of black coffee into a cat-shaped mug and put a spoonful of honey in, leaving it on the edge of the counter for Aaron. He took the cup and replaced it with your phone and speaker, still playing the same classical music playlist you always had on.

“You didn’t have to wake up, you’re no good in the kitchen” you hummed, reaching into the fridge to pull out a carton of eggs.

“That may be true but if I didn’t wake up, I wouldn’t be able to watch you cook.” he said, leaning against the counter as he carefully took a sip of his coffee as to not burn his mouth.

“You’d think with how often you watch me, you’d learn a thing or two” you teased, cracking all the eggs into a bowl and handing it to Aaron to scramble.

“So snarky first thing in the morning.” he feigned offense as he grabbed a fork out of the cutlery drawer. You looked over at him with a grin, shaking your head “You wouldn’t be with me if I was agreeable.” you stated matter of factly, reaching around him to change the song.

“That’s…true.” he chuckled, putting the bowl on the counter to watch you cut up some mushrooms and tomatoes. You put all the ingredients into a baking dish and stuck it in the oven before turning to face him.

He put down his coffee and held out his hand. You took it as he pulled you into his chest, intertwining his fingers with yours and placing his open hand on your waist. You placed yours on his shoulder as he began to sway with you. He let go of your waist briefly to spin you with a downturned smile, leading you back to him to place a kiss on your forehead.

Penelope got up out of Jack’s racecar bed and walked down into the hallway towards the kitchen, smelling the fresh coffee. She looked in the kitchen before halting her steps and going into the guest room. She shook Emily and JJ awake “you two get up right now and come see whats going on in the kitchen”

“Garcia, is it really worth missing a little more sleep?” Emily groaned as JJ silently got up and stretched

“Just get up, shes not gonna let you sleep any longer” JJ said before motioning for Penelope to lead the way. The two women followed her to the entryway of the kitchen, pointing at the two of you dancing.

The oven beeped and you went to let go of him in order to pull the frittata out of the oven. Before you could, he tightened his grip on you “C’mon, Ronnie. It’s gonna burn and I dont want to go out to get more food” You groaned

“One more song, Pumpkin” he insisted, dipping you so you could not reach the stove. You squealed and swung your head back, letting you see what was behind you.

“Good morning ladies,” you said as Aaron put you back on your feet and went to grab the oven mitts silently. You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and mouthed “He is just embarrassed” silently to the girls.

"Didn't know you were such a romantic, boss man" Emily snickered as you handed her a cup of coffee and went to set out cream and sugar for everyone

"I'm not" He grumbled, picking back up his coffee after he set the pan on the cooling rack.

"When you try to reprimand, your subordinates maybe don't be holding a cat mug, Hotch" JJ chimed

Once everyone was up and around the dining room table, you had gotten into a debate with Spencer about Pavlov's Dogs.

“I don't know how ethical that is…” Spencer muttered, you waved your hand in dismissal “No no. It’s for his own good. Every time he walks past me I give him a kiss and a sip of water. That way every time he walks past me he will get thirsty and want a drink of water. I'm forcefully hydrating him!”

“You are evil, you know that right?”

“I am fully aware. I already did this to my subordinates to get them to turn their spreadsheets in on time.” you grinned, grabbing Aaron's arm as he walked past you to get to the living room. You pulled him down and gave him a kiss on the cheek before holding up your water bottle “Water, honey?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

He smiled and leaned over, taking a sip “Thank you, love.” he kissed your hand that clung to his wrist before slipping away and going to talk to Rossi.

“Wow.” Spencer chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “Honestly I am more shocked that he has not catched on”

You smiled and shrugged “Honestly? He probably has.”

#aaron hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #aaron hotch fic #hotch x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch fanfiction

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aurumacadicus · 1 year ago

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Stony and something with apple cider/pumpkin spice?

Love spices <3

Steve was hit with cinnamon as soon as he walked into the apartment. He took a moment to just stand there, eyes fluttering closed, letting the warmth of the spices just sink in. Cinnamon, of course, on top--but there were also cloves, and ginger, and nutmeg. Something else, too, a little sweeter? He couldn't quite put a name to the scent.

Under it all was apples. He wondered if Tony had baked an apple pie. He liked to tease him with them, sometimes--an American icon for The American Icon, he'd always chortle. It was charming, enough that Steve had never had the heart to tell him that his favorite pie was actually strawberry rhubarb. He inhaled deeply one last time, but he couldn't catch a whiff of baked pastry.

Cider, he realized, eyes flying open, and charged into the kitchen.

"Hey!" Tony exclaimed, slapping his hand away from the crock pot. He hid it with his body as Steve backed off. "That's for tonight."

"Aw," Steve complained, then frowned, brows furrowing together. "What's tonight?"

Tony raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed, and crossed his arms over his chest as he slowly reminded him, "We're having that Autumn-themed movie night to celebrate the first crisp day of Fall? You said you'd make old-fashioned popcorn balls."

Steve blinked, then quickly turned to look at the clock. Popcorn balls didn't take a long time, but they could be a little tedious. "Fuck, I forgot that was today. I need to shower after that mission."

"I already popped the popcorn," Tony offered, glancing at the clock as well. "I put it in the oven on low because the recipe I found said it needed to stay warm. If you tell me how to make them into balls, I can do that while you take your shower."

Steve immediately started rolling up his sleeves. Popping the popcorn was the most tedious part. He could make the syrup and get the balls started to show Tony how big they needed to be. "Did you get the candy thermometer?"

"Yeah," Tony answered, pulling it from the utensil drawer for him.

"Great. I don't need the syrup to get that hot, so this'll be quick, if you don't mind finishing for me once I show you what to do."

"Always," Tony answered, going up on his toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Just for that, I'll get you a cup of cider."

Steve turned, catching Tony's chin in his hands. "No need," he said, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips before Tony could question him. He ran his tongue over Tony's bottom lip, urging him a little closer, and Tony obediently let his mouth fall open with a moan.

He tasted like apples, and cinnamon, and a little bit of caramel. He liked to line the rim of his cups with it like a margarita, dip it into a cinnamon-sugar mix. When the hot cider ran over it, it added an extra depth of flavor and sweetness to it. It added an extra depth of flavor and sweetness to Tony's mouth, too.

Tony carefully grabbed his shoulders and eased him away, eyes fluttering at his own reluctance to stop. "We should get the popcorn balls finished," he said, frowning at the pot still in Steve's other hand.

"If we work together, we can finish quickly, and then we can shower together to save time," Steve offered.

"You're cute," Tony teased, leaning up for one last, quick kiss. "Natasha threatened to rip the seams on one of my suits and I'd only know which one when it fell off me if she found us getting handsy again."

"It's our fucking home," Steve complained, but Tony laughed, walking over to ladle out a cup of cider as consolation.

#aurumacadicus answers #stony #autumn meme

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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 10 months ago

Text

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 5: The Trouble with Frittles

~In the Man Cave~

It was official, the city had gone insane. In the world's craziest PR stunt, the Frittle Company had decided to release two new chip flavours, Bodacious Blue Bacon and Raging Red Rhubarb. Both were wacky, both were weird and both had sent Swellview into a meltdown when the sneaky CEO announced that only one flavour would become a steady product. Now, everyone was bacon or rhubarb, red or blue.

It was the same in the Man Cave. Henry and (y/n) were Bodacious Blue Bacon all the way and Ray had found an ally in Jasper for Raging Red Rhubarb, not that the true fighting had begun yet.

"Hey, Schwoz." Ray greeted his funny little handyman as he and his girlfriend came down from the sprocket. He was munching on some red Frittles, but (y/n) wouldn't say anything, not yet. Bacon was way better than rhubarb, however, she loved her boyfriend and knew that he'd take her different opinion as the ultimate betrayal.

"What's the scoop?" (y/n) quipped as she watched Schwoz shovel oats into the auto-snacker with a small scooper. God, she loved puns, Schwoz though, not so much.

"I'm filling the snack machine with oats for my sister." He answered after rolling his eyes, making Ray groan. Not that damn horsewoman.

"Ugh, Winnie's still here?" He grumbled, which caused (y/n) to smack him on the arm. She didn't want him to be rude about Schow'z family, but then again, having an equine madwoman around the place did make having time for themselves tricky. She didn't have an understanding of boundaries.

"She's only been visiting for two days." Schwoz frowned, thinking that the large man was overreacting.

"I know, but...she looks like a horse and she freaks me out!" Ray whined, shoving another Frittle into his mouth. Those eyes; they followed him around the room and it made making out with his girl extremely freaky for him.

"Shhhhh! She's right over there." hushed Schwoz and the three looked over to see Winnie stood sleeping by the elevator, snorting and whinnying like a horse. "Schleeping." Schwoz smiled, she was his sister and he loved her even if she was odd.

"Ignore him, he's just cranky." (y/n) smiled at Ray and leant up to kiss him, but the man jerked his lips away when he saw Schwoz snacking on something repulsive over her head. Blue Frittles? What the fu...

"Hey, dude, uh...if you really like those...blue Frittles, you really gotta try these Raging Red Rhubarb ones, 'cause they're really good." Ray retched at the thought of the Bacon flavour and (y/n) pouted as he ignored her kiss for some dumb chips. Well, he definitely wouldn't like it when he found out what her preference was.

"Eh, (y/n) and I think the blue chips are better." Schwoz shrugged and the young woman gulped as she nervously looked at her boyfriend. He slammed his can of Frittles down and looked at her with annoyed eyes. Honestly, it's the ones that you love the most that hurt you the most.

"I mean, the rhubarb's nice, but the bacon is, y'know, nicer." She smiled shakily, but he wasn't impressed. His darling, sweet girl was in league with the blue Frittles? Ew.

"On Tuesday, you're both voting for the red chips," Ray told the two, making (y/n)'s smile drop instantly. He wanted her to do what now?

"Okay, A, don't tell me what to do, B, no, we're not and C, don't use that tone with me or you won't be getting any for the next four weeks." She replied sternly, moving to stand next to Schwoz with her hands on her hips. She loved him, always, but she wasn't going to get bullied into something. Her opinion was valid.

"The red chips are better." Ray insisted, looking at both of his friends with a serious face. He didn't want to go a whole month with no touch from his girl, but he wanted, no, he needed those rhubarb Frittles in his life and every vote counted.

"What's it like to be so stupid?" The small guy folded his arms and looked at his boss with as much disdain as the woman next to him. If they wanted to vote for blue, they were gonna vote blue.

"You shouldn't even be allowed to vote." Ray hissed back, making (y/n) step in front of her little friend protectively.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked him in a pissed off tone, staring at him with a hard gaze and folded arms. God, he was such a drama queen sometimes.

"You know exactly what that means, sweet girl," Ray growled at her softly and tried to walk away, mumbling something about Schwoz going back to his own country. Schwoz, being a small guy, wasn't one for extreme acts of violence, but being told to go back home over a damn chip got his dander up. He sprinted across the room and leapt onto Ray's back, strangling the startled man as they struggled.

"Seriously? All this over a chip flavour?!" (y/n) shouted at the men, who were spinning wildly across the room. She couldn't bear to watch as they knocked into the peaceful Winnie, setting her off into a frenzy. Geez, what a mess.

"Oh, for god's sake!" The young woman shrieked and tried to avoid getting clipped by Winnie's flailing arms as she made her way over to Ray and Schwoz. At this point, Ray had peeled Schwoz away from his back and was holding him under his arms like a child. It was quite a comical sight, not that Schwoz was laughing.

"Put me down!" He grunted, kicking his legs around in the air as he struggled to get free. It was a useless attempt though, Captain Man's clutches were strong and used to holding even the toughest of criminals. Puny Schwoz had no chance of escape.

"Nope, I know where to put you," Ray smirked and marched Schwoz over to the big barrel of oats he'd brought down for Winnie. He wasn't going to put him in there, was he?

"Raymond, don't be ridiculo---oh, god." (y/n) facepalmed as she watched her boyfriend plunge the poor repairman face-first into the oats, leaving nothing but his calves and feet sticking out of the top. It was an immature move that proved he'd won, but Ray couldn't help but feel like he'd gained one thing and lost another; the adoration of his sweet girl.

"Unbelievable." (y/n) hissed and walked off to grab the blue can of Frittles that Schwoz had left lying around. If he wanted a war, he could have won, he could stick her in with Schwoz if he wanted, she didn't care.

The couple were sat on opposite ends of the couch's crescent curve and each enjoyed their respective books and chips. Normally, the girl would be glued to his side and he'd press kisses to her head whenever she giggled at a funny line in her novel, but this wasn't normal. It was boyfriend versus girlfriend, red versus blue and neither were gonna back down, not even when the elevator dinged and Henry and Charlottes stepped onto the battlefield.

"Oh, hey guys," Ray smirked at the teens as they frowned at the scene. They couldn't discern which was weirder, Schwoz in a tub full of oats, or seeing the world's cuddliest couple sat so far apart. However, the sharp flick of (y/n) turning her page over (with sass) told them that she was pissed off and the presence of the Frittles said even more. All out couple war.

"Uhhhh, Ray? (y/n/n)?" Charlotte asked the couple nervously, wondering why they were both acting as though nothing was wrong. They should be kissing for the fiftieth time that day by now, not munching on Frittles.

"Yeah, what goes on?" The superhero asked cooly, not glancing up from his book, although (y/n) did sneak a peek. It reminded her of ten years earlier when she first came to the Man Cave and would study the features of his face from behind the safety of her book. It was never more than a glimpse since she didn't want to risk her handsome boss noticing and she always told herself that it wasn't checking him out, it was just an analysis. Little did she know that he too often gave her an "analysis" to memorise the way she bit her lip at the tense part or wiggled her toes when she got to the happy ending.

This wasn't like that though, she was observing the enemy, seeing if he was as uninterested as he sounded and she stuck her nose back in her book when she saw that he was. There was a small "analysis" on the side too though, she had to admit that she had never been very good at resisting those.

"Did you stuff Schwoz into a bucket of...oats?" Henry questioned as Charlotte dashed over to help the screaming man, making (y/n) chuckle humourlessly.

"No, I don't recall seeing Schwoz today." Ray brushed off the comment as popped another Frittle into his mouth as Henry went to help Charlotte yank him out.

"That's funny because I do, babe." (y/n) remarked, spitting out the pet name like it was nasty on her tongue. Ray didn't take it to heart though, he knew it was just fighting talk. Never in their history had she called him babe. Doofus? yes. Handsome? yes. Babe? no. It wasn't her style, she'd given him her names for him and they always fell from her lips with so much sweetness, it sent him crazy. It was cold and lonely without her, but it would be over in a few days, hopefully.

The couple's focus was stolen from the lines in their books as Henry and Charlotte pushed the oat bucket over, freeing Schwoz from his torture. He stood up furiously, shaking off the oats from up his sleeves and glared at his boss, but it was safe to say that Ray didn't give a toss.

"Oh, hey, Schwoz. Where you been all day?" Ray smirked and nibbled on another chip. That cocky smile, it both boiled (y/n)'s blood and made her shudder with desire.

"You know! You stuffed me in that bucket of oats!" Schwoz cried and Ray giggled at the reminder.

"Oh, yeah. Good for me." He chuckled, snapping his book shut as his girlfriend studied his every mood. When he wanted to be, he could be so damn annoying.

"(y/n), why didn't you help me?" Schwoz whined and stamped his foot, making the young woman lift an eyebrow. She wasn't cruel or uncaring and she wanted to help, but...

"Well, I wanted to, I really did, but Ray said he'd never kiss me again if I went near you. Don't get me wrong, Schwoz, you're great, but I'm not giving that up after waiting nine years so..." She trailed off when she witnessed the rage build in Schowz's eyes until it reached its boiling point. The small man wrapped an arm around Ray's neck and yanked him backwards in a chokehold, making Henry, Charlotte and (y/n) panic.

"No, no, no!" Henry freaked and dashed over to pull Schwoz away, but for such a small guy, he was quite strong. It must have been all the lugging and loading Ray made him do.

"Okay, Schwoz, let go now." (y/n) pleaded with the guy and put a knee on either side of Ray's hips so she could lean over him and prise Schwoz's fingers from his throat. Her boyfriend had been pissing her off all day, but she didn't want any actual fighting going on. She loosened his grip as Henry pulled him away, causing Ray to collapse on her as he gasped for air. The couple toppled onto the floor, with Ray panting into her neck as she winced at the rough landing, although having her boyfriend on top of her did have its perks.

"Schwoz! My spchoon is too schmall!" Winnie trotted into the Man Cave as her brother seethed and Ray sneakily pressed his lips to (y/n)'s neck, feeling her pulse under his lips. She giggled at him when he pulled back and his eyes crinkled with happiness as he took into her flushed cheeks and the rapid rising and falling of her chest. Chips or no chips, they were still dorks in love.

"Well, what am I supposed to do about it?" Schwoz asked his sister, not wanting to leave his argument unsettled.

"Go get your sister a bigger schpoon!" Henry told him and shoved him in the horsey lady's direction as Ray raised his body from (y/n)'s and balanced himself on his knees.

"Oh, schweet," Schwoz grumbled in his strange accent but complied anyway. He knew when to walk away, sort of.

"Why'd you shove Schwoz in a bucket of oats?" Charlotte asked the large man as (y/n) gazed at him with playful eyes, pushing her boobs out a little in a way to lure him to her side. It was tempting, very tempting, but rhubarb was just his vibe.

"Because I'm the boss around here! And he and (y/n) were talking about blue chips and how great they are." Ray grumbled, scrambling to his feet and offering a hand to his girl. Sure, she was a tease and the enemy in the battle, but he was a gentleman through and through and he wasn't going to leave his queen on the floor.

"They are great, way better than those icky red chips," Henry noted, screwing his nose up at the thought of the sour taste of the rhubarb Frittles, which didn't go down very well with the big, blue aficionado, Ray Manchester.

"What are you talking about?" Ray let go of (y/n)'s hand and stood straighter as he looked at Henry with disgust. Another blue? First, his sweet girl, now his faithful sidekick, his friends sure had bad taste.

"Here we go again..." The young woman groaned, pinching her nose as the boys glowered at each other.

"Oh, come on, you guys! This is so dumb!" Charlotte voiced her annoyance too, although she was more neutral than (y/n) since she didn't give a shit about red or blue. She thought the world had gone mad and she sure as hell wouldn't be voting for a winner.

"Dumb?" Ray gawped at the young girl with an incredulous expression. This wasn't dumb, this was the question of the century: red or blue?

"How can you say that?" Henry added, making Charlotte roll her eyes. Despite his calmer nature, Henry was as big of a drama queen as Ray, especially when it came to being competitive.

"'Cause, no matter which chip wins, nothing's gonna change! I mean, remember when they came out with nacho cheese-flavoured chips that everyone thought were gonna change the world? Well, they didn't. Then, they gave us sour cream and onion, nothing changed. Then, cool ranch, then salsa verde, every four years, it's another new, exciting flavour! But look around, people. Nothing's changed! Yeah, you ponder that." She exclaimed, making Ray and Henry think about her mini-speech.

She had a point. The entire situation was just nothing marketing ploy by a large company to fool suckers into buying their chips. But, they didn't have time to ponder any longer, because the alarm sounded, making their heads snap to the supercomputer

"Emergency!" Henry gasped, knowing that noise so well. He heard it in his sleep now.

"Oh goodie, it's a video call." (y/n) smiled as they dashed over, rubbing her hands together excitedly. She always loved it when they got to see who was calling, it made things more interesting.

"Put it on screen," Henry instructed Charlotte, who sat down at the controls and hovered her finger over the button.

"Wait! We're not in uniform." Ray mentioned, gesturing to their casual clothes. God, they couldn't show the person who Captain Man was under the mask, nor his sidekicks. That would be a disaster.

"She's not gonna turn on our camera, doofus." (y/n) rolled her eyes and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow, but her amused smile let him know that she took his cautiousness in good humour.

"This my first day on the job?" Charlotte quipped, turning around to give Ray a raised eyebrow and a cynical look. Geez, some people just had no faith.

"No..." Ray mumbled, looking off to his right so he could avoid any eye contact. (y/n)'s smile was way more interesting anyway.

"Help! Please! Captain Man, Captain Man!" A terrified man appeared on the screen, shaking with fear as rocks crumbled around him. Well, this didn't look good.

"This is Captain Man, please state your emergency," Ray answered, leaning forward so he could hear everything. Plus, it was nice when (y/n) rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"Sure, I was climbing up Mount Swellview and there was an avalanche and I fell...ah! There's a big boulder on my leg and I can't move! Ah! More rocks are falling, please help, Captain Man, Kid Danger, Miss Danger, please, help!" The man groaned, clutching his broken leg as it throbbed under the boulder and he reached into his rucksack for a small comfort.

"All right, we're gonna be there in, wait...what did you just put in your mouth?!" Ray gasped when he saw a flash of blue across his screen and he knew just what corn-based snack the man was eating.

"Oh, it's a blue Frittle chip. They're so good." The man replied, making Ray huff like a child. So, he was a blue man?

"Oh, so on Tuesday, you'll be voting blue?" Ray prompted, making Henry and (y/n) look at him weirdly. It wasn't the time for the petty competition, this guy could die.

"Yeah, I guess." He said, quivering as more rocks tumbled from the cliff face.

"Oh, well, I guess you can just save yourself!" Ray hissed and slammed his hand down on the end-call-button, ignoring the man's protests. Well, there was no need for that.

"Are you not gonna help that dude just because he's voting for blue?" (y/n) gasped as Ray sulked and turned his back on her, Henry and Charlotte. The teens were equally disgusted and couldn't believe that Ray's childishness was triumphing over his sense of duty.

"Maybe." He muttered, folding his arms like a scolded child as he took in their hard stares.

"Okay...okay, then we're not gonna help anyone who votes red," Henry spoke for the both of them, making Ray let out a high-pitched squeal as (y/n) snapped her head to look at Henry. She didn't care about the chips, she just wanted to help people.

"Hey, speak for yourself!" She frowned at Henry, who gave her a begging look. He desperately needed her on his side if he was gonna strike out against Ray, but getting her to go against her boyfriend was immensely difficult.

"Whoa! You guys can't stop not helping people because they support a different chip than you." Charlotte chided the man, who wasn't about to take a dressing down from his youthful assistant.

"Really? 'Cause, I'm pretty sure I just did, Charlotte--" The superhero argued back, making (y/n) see red when he got all stroppy.

"Raymond Manchester!" She snapped, uttering his name with fury in her voice. She didn't normally raise her voice like that, not with him and not so angrily, but sometimes, he needed bringing back down with a sharp tongue.

"Oooh, busted," Henry smirked at how pale Ray went and the way he gulped at the young woman's outburst. He hated being on the receiving end of her rage, but he loved seeing her so animated and...hot.

"Our job is to help and protect the citizens of Swellview and that means everybody. No matter what damn chip colour they like. We don't judge and we don't discriminate, both of you should know that." She lectured them, making the smile on Henry's face drop. The boys felt like they were standing in front of their teacher and boy, it was scary.

"I know..." Ray scuffed his sneaker against the tiled floor, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. He knew she was right and he felt guilty at how he'd gotten so caught up in the stupid chip voting.

"You can't tell us what to do..." Henry mumbled, not liking how he, a fifteen-year-old boy was being told off, even if he was being stupid.

"You wanna say that again?" (y/n) growled at him, stepping forward so she could hear every word that the boy dared to say. Talking back wasn't his brightest idea...

"Nothing." He quickly retracted his protest, standing straighter as the surprisingly intimidating woman looked him up and down. She wasn't the same (y/n) he'd met two years ago, she wouldn't say boo to a goose, but now, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

"Henry! (y/n)!" Schwoz shouted as he ran down into the Man Cave again. He must've found Winnie another schpoon.

"What?" Henry asked irritatedly, still feeling the sting of his telling off.

"Someone broke into the Frittle Factory and stole a whole load of Frittle chips!" The little man divulged, making the boys' eyes widen. They hadn't learnt their lesson and (y/n) sighed when the mention of the brand made them stand to attention.

"What colour chip?" Henry whispered, trying not to upset the girls, even though they could hear every word, loud and clear.

"Red," Schwoz answered as he typed away on his cell, making Henry smirk victoriously.

"No!" Ray cried, dreading the thought of the Raging Rhubarb having a disadvantage.

"All right, do I have to lecture you boys again? Charlotte's up for it too." (y/n) questioned and folded her arms as she and the girl crossed their arms.

"No, no, no." Ray and Henry quickly shook their heads, not wanting to be on the receiving end of her anger again. They'd had enough already.

"Good, so you go get that truck and Henry and I will go get that guy off the mountain." She smiled at her boyfriend, thinking it was a good idea to keep Captain 'I'm voting red and nothing else' Man away from the dude, who was a staunch Bodacious Bacon fan.

"Wait, where's my gumball tube?" Ray suddenly asked as Henry and (y/n) took out theirs. They were already chewing the gum, but he was still patting down his pockets.

"Oh, here, I made you a new one." Schwoz smiled sweetly at his boss and offered him the new tube. His smile suggested something sinister, but Ray didn't pick up on it. He was just eager to get dressed and go salvage the red chips. The three blew their bubbles and snapped into their uniforms, only, Ray wasn't in uniform, more like a beautiful white wedding dress.

"What the..." He gasped as he looked down at the flowing gown and Charlotte, Henry, Schwoz and (y/n) couldn't help but giggle.

"Schwoz! What did you do to my balls of gum?!" He growled at the man as the woman and teens laughed. It was pretty funny to see and his exposed chest and arms were not going unappreciated by (y/n).

"That's what you get for putting me in a bucket of oats!" Schwoz replied mirthfully, loving how sweet his revenge was. Karma was a bitch and she had hit Ray hard.

"You know, I always thought I'd be the one wearing the dress." (y/n) giggled, adjusting the strap of Ray's dress like she was his bridesmaid. Oh, she wished she had a camera right now, he was putting her scarlet and azure ensemble to shame.

Ray's cheeks flushed at her teasing, feeling all embarrassed at how she was loving every second of it. But her words weren't lost on him and the thought of her wanting to wear a white dress for him made his heart soar. It wasn't just him then, she wanted to be his forever too. The tender moment was cut devastatingly short though, as Winnie came galloping in and started to laugh or neigh at the hilarious sight of a man in a dress. Her reaction was infuriating for Ray, who didn't mind his girlfriend fawning over him, but Schwoz's sister? Ew, no.

"Oh, shut up." He grumbled, tugging at the white material that was making him look so foolish.

"Horse." (y/n) added on the end, not even bothering to disguise it with a cough or anything. God, that laugh/neigh was annoying and it proved to be too much for Ray to handle. He gathered his skirt and stormed off to the secret door, probably intent on manually putting on his super suit. Life was hard when someone messed with your balls.

~At the Frittle Factory~

"I am not talking to her." (y/n) seethed as Henry told her the bad news. He shuddered at her fury, but Ray was too busy with the factory workers to break it to her, even though he was the only one who could calm her nerves and anger.

"We have to. It's a TV interview!" Henry pleaded with her, trying to get her to come on camera with him. Evelyn Hall, KLVY News reporter and ex-flame of Captain Man, was begging the supers to give her a few words about their involvement with the Frittle Van rescue, but (y/n) didn't want to say anything to her, even if she was just doing her job.

"I don't care if it's a speech to the fucking U.N, Henry, I don't like her." She frowned, screwing her nose up at the thought of all those times she had to endure Ray and Evelyn flirt or kiss or whatever. She knew that her jealousy was unfounded and she trusted her boyfriend, of course she did, but she couldn't help but feel her insecurities rise to the surface. Meaningless or not, Ray had gone out with hundreds of girls, what if he suddenly realised that she wasn't what he thought she was? What if he called everything between them a mistake and reverted to his playboy lifestyle?

"Come on. She's coming over, just let me do the talking..." Henry rushed, dragging her to the camera crew despite her complaining and smiled politely at the pretty woman, although (y/n)'s was anything but polite. More of a sneer than a smile.

"I'm live at the Frittle Factory with Kid Danger and Miss Danger. Tell us how you caught the criminal who stole the Frittle truck." She started immediately, leaving the sidekicks to flounder as they thought of something to say.

"Uhhh...well, actually--" Henry stuttered, ready to admit that Ray had done all the hard work. They'd been on Mount Swellview just ten minutes before and had only arrived to see how Ray was doing. Speak of the devil, Captain Man himself sauntered up to his sidekicks and smirked into the camera, allowing them to give him the perfect introduction.

"Actually, it was Captain Man who did the rescuing of the truck and capturing of the criminal, so..." (y/n) gave Evelyn a half-assed smile, wishing that she was talking to anyone but her right now.

"But you helped." The woman pressed on, making Henry and (y/n) feel pretty awkward. They had literally just arrived on the scene, this was nothing to do with them.

"No, we were actually trying to save another guy, who fell off a mountain." Henry recounted the tale, impressing Miss Hall, who cosied up to the dashing young superhero. Now, wait just a second, had (y/n) missed something?

"Wow, you're the real hero." She flirted with Henry, making Miss Danger do a double-take. Had Evelyn Hall switched targets?

"Well..." Henry blushed, feeling flattered that the pretty reporter was lavishing the praise onto him. He did half the work, (y/n) deserved some recognition too, not that she minded, she was still processing the fact that Evelyn Hall wasn't flirting with her boyfriend.

"Uh, excuse me. Hi, hello." Ray nudged his way into the shot and Evelyn's smile fell. The superhero wasn't so super in her books and he wasn't a hero either, more like another guy who stood her up after promising he'd call her.

"Hi, uh...who are you?" She asked him, not caring that it made her seem like an idiot on national TV. She just wanted to see Captain Man squirm.

"I'm Captain Man, you know that everyone knows me, so..." He gulped at her sarcastic smile, not liking where this was going. He didn't want (y/n) to see this, not when they had been so happy together recently. One word from Evelyn could bring it all crashing down.

"Oh, right. The guy who took me out on two dates and then never called me again." She recalled bitterly, not caring that Kid Danger and Miss Danger were caught in the middle of their argument, the latter swallowing down the lump in her throat. It was never nice to meet the ex and with Ray, that was gonna be a very long line of disgruntled women.

"Do you wanna hear about how I recovered the stolen Frittle truck?" Ray asked her, hoping he could just do the interview and move on before Evelyn convinced (y/n) that he was some lousy jerk, who'd left a trail of broken hearts behind him as he pursued her. Just the sight of her fidgeting fingers was enough to make him nervous, was she thinking the worst already?

"I do not, I don't like being stood up." She smiled at him sweetly, making Ray stutter in panic. They couldn't leave it there, not when it made him look like the world's biggest asshole.

"Yeah, 'cause we all know how you like the reverse, Evelyn." (y/n) retorted, not being able to help the comment that slipped from her lips. She had nothing but disdain for the girl, she knew it was the wrong thing to feel for her, pity or sympathy was probably more apt, but she couldn't help it. It was a long seated grudge and it grew deeper when she made her boyfriend panic.

"B-back to you, Trent." Evelyn snivelled and scurried off in a tetchy mood. Oops, (y/n) had just made an enemy, not that she cared.

"I love you." Ray breathed out to the young woman next to him as she watched Evelyn storm away. He couldn't help it, he didn't know why. Maybe it was born from his panic that she'd leave him for someone with a cleaner slate and this was just his way of trying to hold onto her with the words he'd struggled to tell her for so long. Or maybe he was just in awe of how despite his regretful past, she still hadn't run a mile. Perhaps it was both.

"I know." She smiled at him, letting the phrase wash over her. She was the only one who got to hear those words and it warmed her heart to know that he'd picked her over everyone else.

"Captain Man! Captain Man! Miss Danger and Kid Danger." A short man called out after the superhero's preventing Ray from seizing his girl and kissing her honeyed lips like he wanted to. The guy was wearing an expensive-looking, bespoke suit and it was obvious that the guy was the Frittle CEO, basically the boss or head honcho.

"Hello there." Ray smiled at the important businessman, shaking his hand courteously even though he'd interrupted his moment with (y/n).

"Hi." Henry shook his hand too, trying to stay calm at meeting the face of Frittles. First, Evelyn flirting with him and now, this? It must've been his lucky day.

"Hiya...okaaay then." (y/n) held out her hand for him, thinking that he'd shake it as he'd done to Ray and Henry, but no. To her surprise and Ray's jealousy, he raised her gloved hand to his lips and graciously placed a fleeting kiss to the back of it, like he was bestowing his respect on a regal queen. It was a bit awkward for the young woman and made her look to her friends for help, but she just had to accept it, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend.

"I'm Jack Frittleman, chairman and CEO of Frittle snacks and I wanted to thank you personally for..." Mr Frittleman's gratitude was interrupted when one of his workers whispered something in his ear and handed him a sheet of paper.

"There a problem?" Henry asked the man as he noticed the frown on his face, not that Ray cared. He didn't think it was fair that Frittleman got to kiss his girl before he did, even if it was just a peck on her hand.

"Well, sort of. When the truck was stolen, it had four hundred cases of Raging Red Rhubarb Frittle chips." He read out the report, but the superheroes didn't see the problem.

"So?" Henry questioned as Ray scratched the back of his neck.

"So it seems that two cases of chips are missing. Weird. Wonder what happened to them." The CEO pondered, striking a thought up in (y/n). Huh, she knew someone who'd die for a steady supply of those damn chips...

"Raging Red Rhubarb did you say? Very weird..." She played it off like she had no suspicions, but there were too many correlating factors in it for her. Namely that Captain Man loved the red chips.

"Well, I suppose you'd have to ask the chips." Ray smiled at Mr Frittleman, ignoring how the woman was eyeing him carefully. Nothing to see here, not any stolen chips anyway.

"What's that mean?" The man asked, looking at Ray weirdly.

"Hmm?" Ray gulped, wondering how he was gonna excuse himself out of this one.

"Well, I can't ask the chips 'cause they're missing." Mr Frittleman noted, not seeing the bigger picture as Henry did.

"And even if he could, chips can't talk." The boy added, leaving Ray in a difficult spot to explain himself. Talk about throwing someone under a bus.

"Well, if chips could talk and were here, I'm sure they'd tell us." He replied, confusing everyone listening. He was getting deeper and deeper into the bullshit he was speaking.

"What's he saying?" Mr Frittleman asked his sidekicks, hoping they could shed some light on the superhero's odd choice of words, but they were just as lost as he was.

"Absolutely no clue." (y/n) shook her head, tapping Ray's arm to tell him that it was probably best for them to leave before he said something else weird.

"Bottom line is, you're welcome." The large man shook the chairman's hand again and gave him his most charming smile and turned to leave before a hoard of children came running in.

"Captain Man! Kid Danger! Miss Danger!" The gang screamed, Piper being at the front as she lead the way. The Man Fans were here and they were ready to see their heroes in all their glory, especially since it gave them a chance to see Miss Danger up close. A new addition to the Captain Man team? They'd happily welcome her in.

"Who are these children?" Mr Frittleman asked, feeling slightly startled by so many children bursting into his factory. Health and safety weren't very high on the list by the looks of things.

"Oh, that's my si----" Henry caught himself before he could name Piper as his sister, but his trailing tone made him sound crazy.

"Si---scissors! Has anyone seen my scissors?" He saved it at the end and even if it did sound bizarre, it was a lot better than revealing his secret identity.

"We're the Man Fans!" Piper introduced them proudly and she and Marla whipped out their Man Fan club cards.

"The official Fanclub of Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger!" Marla squealed, barely able to contain her excitement at the sight of Swellview's greatest crimefighters.

"We're verified," Piper added on the end, making (y/n) blush. It was nice to be included and to see so many happy faces, well, it was sweet.

"Hi, guys." Ray smiled at his club warmly, his hand curling around (y/n)'s as he sought out her touch. Did he care that people were watching his every move? No, he wanted the world to know that Captain Man had found his soulmate and he wasn't letting go.

"Hello." (y/n) greeted the kids, who weren't oblivious to how Captain Man and Miss Danger was holding hands. Ooooh, Captain Man and Miss Danger, sitting in a tree...

"Are you guys here to see the launch of the Frittle blimp?" Mr Frittleman asked the group, believing that they'd come across town to see his genius advertising idea.

"No. Kids hate blimps," Marla answered curtly, not caring about a big balloon in the sky, which was what a blimp was to anyone under the age of twenty-five.

"We gotta decide what Frittle to vote for on Tuesday, so we need to know!" Piper smiled at her heroes, who felt a bit put on the spot. What. the Man fans were told, they'd do; it didn't matter about their personal opinion, what their heroes said was the right thing to vote for.

"Need to know what?" Henry looked at the kids blankly, not seeing what they were getting at.

"Which chip Captain Man, Miss. Danger and Kid Danger are voting for." Piper explained, not realising that she was reigniting a burnout argument.

"We're gonna vote for whichever you guys tell us to." Oliver Pook added, making (y/n) stiffen. Did they have to bring that up? It had already blown up once, she didn't want it to happen again.

"Well, if you really wanna know, personally..."

"Well, I'm gonna go with.." Ray and Henry started, but an arm curled around their shoulders and they nervously looked to the side to see. (y/n) smiling at them pleasantly, or was it sinisterly?

"You say anything, I'll break your phone, you say anything and you're sleeping alone tonight." She hissed in their ears before letting them go and pushing them forward a bit. A few light threats always did the trick.

"Look, kids, Captain Man, Miss Danger and I do not get involved in snack politics, so you're just gonna---" Oh, Henry, he was such a good egg. The thing with Ray though, he wasn't and that was a problem. Mainly because he just sussed that he'd follow (y/n) to her bedroom and latch onto her until she gave in. No need for him to slumber in solitude.

"Vote red!" He yelled to the kids, making (y/n) growl and Henry gasp. So, he'd chosen death, not life, a bold choice.

"What?" The boy stuttered and was horrified to see the kids agree on voting for the gross rhubarb. Well, he wasn't having that.

"Kids, you like me. Captain Man says vote for the Raging Red Rhubarb Frittles!" He addressed the group, ignoring Henry's babbling for some sense.

"You're so gonna be eating those damn chips alone, Captain Man." (y/n) muttered, not liking how he was essentially rigging the voting. She thought it would be best for the kids to make their own decision, but no. Ray couldn't let this one go.

"No, you're not supposed to--vote blue!" Henry switched tactics and decided that if Ray was gonna play dirty, then so would he. Screw the moral argument, he wanted to chow down on Bodacious Blue Bacon for the rest of his life.

"Stop it! You can't tell them to vote blue--vote red!" Ray encouraged the children, who were now unsure of what to do. They couldn't vote for both and the way Captain Man and Kid Danger were arguing, it looks like they'd never get through to them.

"Okay, why don't you both just chill? Hmm? Kid Danger, go over there." (y/n) stepped in between her friends and forced Henry to back off. It was like trying to control two kids sometimes.

"You need to calm down." She turned to Ray and gave him her scolding face as she tried to control her stroppy boyfriend.

"Oh, so you're now telling me what I can and can't do like him?" He whined at her, not meaning to upset her, but his sneering voice ruffled her feathers.

"Oh, grow up." She hissed, stepping back from him. If he was going to act like a child then she'd leave him alone to cool off. She wasn't going to be jibed at and it looked like Henry wasn't either.

He'd grabbed one of the company's tube launchers and loaded up a can of blue Frittles. It probably wasn't the best idea to fire a tin of chips at your boss's face in front of a crowd of his adoring fans, but people do dumb things when they're mad.

"Okay..." Ray growled as Henry poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, not caring about how furious the man looked. Ray went and grabbed the red launcher, making the boy gulp. He was a lot squishier and more vulnerable than Ray, surely this wasn't fair.

"Hey, he's not indestructible, you can't shoot--" (y/n)'s protests didn't matter, this was war and Ray Manchester took no prisoners. He fired a can of Red Frittles into Henry's abdomen, sending the kid to the floor with the forceful impact. Poor Mr Frittleman, he didn't want a brawl in his. factory, so he looked to Miss Danger for help.

"Guys, don't do this." She stood in the middle, but she was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh, he asked for this." Henry seethed and fired another can past (y/n). so it would hit Ray on the temple again. Ouch, that one had to have been painful and the pain was like adding wood to the fire. It made Ray even angrier.

"Okay! Say hello to my Frittle friend!" He quoted Scarface and yet another load of red frittles were sent Henry's way. It was slightly biased for a man as large as Ray to fight a skinny kid like Henry, who didn't have the weight to keep himself on his feet.

"Oh, right in the eye! So, that's how you wanna play?" Henry rubbed the pain away and reloaded his weapon. All (y/n) could do was keep the kids back and hope they didn't hurt each other or someone else.

"That's enough!" Ray told his sidekick, seeing panicked everyone was getting, especially the children, who were distressed to see the superheroes fight.

"Oh, that's enough? Let me just adjust the gauge right here..." Henry sassed Ray and flicked the switch on the side of the barrel. No more playing around, he wanted to finish this, but turning up the firing speed wasn't a good idea. Ray was hit by a can and then another and another until the weapon was firing hundreds of Frittle tubs per minute. Uh-oh, Henry couldn't control it and he looked at the malfunctioning thing in his hands.

"What did you do?" (y/n) shouted at the boy as she stopped Ray from hiding behind Piper and pushed the girl away from Henry's line of fire. For a superhero, he could be so daft sometimes, and if he wanted a human meat shield, he could use her.

"Stop being such a baby, you're indestructible," She rolled her eyes at him, wincing when a rogue can hit her shoulder. She was grateful for her super-regeneration, otherwise, the bruise would have stayed there for weeks. The worst wasn't over though, the catapulted Frittles hit some machinery at the back of the room, causing it to spark uncontrollably and an alarm to go off.

"What's happening?" Mr Frittleman asked his workers as they ran to save the machine, but it was too late. Henry had messed the whole thing up.

"Why's that light flashing?" Ray pointed to the red beacon and pulled (y/n) to his side. Whatever was going on, his gut told him it wasn't good and he wanted her right next to him where he could keep her safe.

"They jammed the system controls! Now, the corn compressors are building up an extreme amount of pressure and...they can't release the corn gas!" Everyone paled at the news. Pressure meant explosion and an explosion was very, very bad.

"Oh, well done, you two. Nice going, you've outdone yourselves this time." (y/n) clapped her companions sarcastically as she guessed that they were heading for a catastrophe and she had to hand it to them. This was their biggest fuck up of the year.

"Attention. This is Jack Frittleman...run!" The CEO announced over the tannoy and no sooner than he did, the crowd bolted for the exits. Ray, (y/n) and Henry herded them all out first, but not before running back to grab a few final cans of their favourite Frittles.

"Oh, sweet cheese, come on! This thing's gonna blow!" (y/n) shrieked at them as she waited in the doorway and the man and boy knew she was right. Forgoing any attempt to salvage the snacks, they legged it through the door and made it out with seconds to spare.

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

Back at the store, the Man Cave team were crowded around Jasper's PearPad as they watched the news report on the Frittle Factory Tragedy.

"And the explosion was felt all throughout Swellview and even some nearby cities, including Neighbourville, Bordertown and Rivalton," Trent reported in his usual prickly manner.

"But luckily, despite the magnitude of the blast, everyone important survived." Mary smiled, her pleasantness coming through the screen. The pair were like chalk and cheese, polar opposites.

"So the real victim is our own City of Swellview because, not only has the red versus blue contest been cancelled, but also CEO, Jack Frittleman, says it's going to take four years to rebuild the factory." The male anchor carried on, disappointing the city with his depressing news.

"Four years? That's a Frittle too long if you ask me." Mary quipped, smiling at her little pun, but like usual, Trent Overrunder wasn't going to let her stay happy for long.

"I wish you'd been in that factory, Mary." His cruel words choked the blonde up and (y/n) frowned as the clip ended.

"What a dick! One of these days I'm going to kick his ass." She scowled, but no one cared about poor Mary as she did. They just wanted to enjoy one more Frittle.

"Dang it. Man, I loved those blue Frittle chips." Henry sighed, missing the snack already and it had only been an hour.

"Me too." Schwoz whimpered, also feeling sad that the contest was kaput. Now, they'd never know which one was Swellview's favourite, well, not for another four years.

"Me three." (y/n) admitted, thinking that since the Frittles were gone, it wouldn't hurt to add in her voice. She liked the blues just as much as they did, even though she hid it well.

"I loved the red ones," Jasper commented, declaring that he, like Ray, preferred the rhubarb in all its artificial sour tang.

"I loved not caring," Charlotte smirked, loving that she was free of sadness or anger since she had been neutral from the start. Who was laughing now?

"Well, Henry, Schwoz, sweet girl...sucks for you guys." Ray walked over and wrapped his arms around (y/n) from behind as she stood in the middle of Henry and Schwoz. She frowned in thought as he rested his chin on top of her head, but after the thrill of the explosion, she couldn't put two and two together.

"What's got you all smiley, Mr Grumpy-Pants?" She asked him, wondering why a guy who'd been whining for days about the red chips was now happy that they were gone.

"Oh, you know, Raging Red Rhubarb Frittles, my love." He smiled down at her and lovingly pressed a clumsy kiss to her cheek, which made her feel embarrassed. None of this was making sense, apart from him being gross with the young woman.

"Yeah, well, that's too bad 'cause they all blew up." Henry reminded him, also finding his boss's cheery mood peculiar. He was way too dramatic to be pleased about this, unless...

"Did they?" Ray looked at the boy with a mischievous expression and untangled himself from (y/n) so he could move freely about the shop floor.

"Yeah, just on the news," Henry confirmed as they all looked at him in bewilderment. Little did they know that Ray had a trick up his sleeve.

"Did they?" He reiterated, adding to the confusion. He loved to build up the suspense, it played into her drama queen persona.

"We just watched it." Jasper frowned, falling into Ray's trap.

"Did we?" He pressed on, irritating (y/n) with his slowness.

"Are you drunk? Just get to the point, Raymond." She groaned, hating how he had to turn everything into The Ray Manchester Show.

"Ray, what do you know?" Henry asked his boss, also getting the feeling that Ray was toying with them and he just wanted to know what his game was.

"I know that when you're a superhero and you recover a stolen truck with four hundred cases of red Frittles inside, it's never a bad idea to snag a couple of cases for yourself." He chuckled at their flabbergasted faces, revealing his devious actions.

"That's stealing." Jasper pointed out, thinking that a superhero should've known better than to make an opportunistic looting just for his own benefit.

"Is it?" Ray shrugged and ignored the fervent yesses from his friends. Of course, it was stealing, but he'd overlook that since it got him a few months supply of Frittles.

"Yeah, all right." He conceded, but he didn't care, not when he knew that he'd be munching through his steal soon.

"Wait, you're saying that you were acting weird at the factory because there's two cases of Frittle Chips here?" (y/n) asked him, not believing that her sweet and goofy Ray would do something so sneaky. It was ingenious but sneaky.

"Yep, 'bout a half-mile down there, in the Man Cave." He smirked, feeling pretty good about himself as Jasper patted him on the shoulder. Looks like the reds won this one.

"Wait, my sister, Winnie, went down to the Man Cave to have a schnack and take a nap." Schwoz gulped as he realised that she'd probably eaten the lot since she literally had the appetite of a horse.

"You little shit, Schwoz!" Ray exclaimed angrily as everyone giggled. Captain Man had been outwitted by a horse lady.

"You know there's gonna be none left." (y/n) chuckled at him as he put his head in his hands and sighed, her hand rubbing his back soothingly.

Looks like no one had won after all.

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