#revalation 20

[nexus-nebulae]

me: why do i have such a low pain tolerance nowadays i can't handle anything

also me: is constantly feeling an underlying pain that affects every inch of my body at all times

also me: has a disorder that apparently causes my brain to interpret almost anything as pain Wait pause the post is this why tickling genuinely hurts me??????? like when i get tickled it just Hurts and nothing else????? i thought it was just an autism sensory thing???????

[nalyra-dreaming]

What do you think about the 'Alice is Armand' theory? It is so fascinating after Eric talked about Daniel's revalation about something happened but he wrote that down very different. What do you think it can be? Reply as @ameliadarkAvatarameliadarkI think Alice is real, but there are memories which was shifted by Armand. But she and the daughters has to be real bc of his carrier. Lbh he is an award winner jurnalist with a lot of connection and enemy. 1/2

Hey dear!

Wellllll, given we know that there is a OST track that's "Alice is in her third trimester"... I think she's real.

I think his marriages and the daughters are real, because, as you say, they are part of his mortal life and career, and as someone with a Pulitzer Price he probably was the focus of some interviews himself. Or, at the very least, some of the people he interviewed would have checked him.

That said, by now I think he is confusing a lot of his memories with Alice for what he shared with Armand. Which might have been (intentional and) part of the mind-wipe/mind-change!

I mean, wouldn't it be easier for someone to switch out people in events, than remove all memories of those events?

"I never owned a buick." comes to mind, for example. Like, I bet that is what the comment by Eric will come to, that he remembers how it really was - most of it the same, just... 20% different.

20 crucial percent.

(I bet that will be quite similar for Louis.)

[heartofjasmina]

🪶 Hawks! (The emoji reminded me of him, hehe)

The Viscount was new to the marriage mart, having inherited his father's estate at the tender age of 20. He was so different from most of the men on the hunt for a wife. He was smart and handsome where and most were weak chinned second sons with little education.

Your mama told you not to get your hopes up. You were a third daughter of a minor Lord, too plump to be a diamond, and too outspoken to have many suitors.

Upon your introduction to the Viscount you tried your best not to stand out, only for him to whisper loudly "Are you bored out of your wits as well, my lady? I swear there's been the exact same introduction speech for every young lady in attendance."

His exasperated tone made you laugh. Loudly and with a few snorts thrown in before you could clasp your hand over your mouth. Your mama was furious you could tell from the twitch in her eye? But the Viscount.. he just stared at you like you were a revalation.

"Nice to finally meet you, Miss." He bowed low over your hand and pressed his lips to your knuckles.

"May I call on you again?" You must have been dreaming, but you nodded and finally, finally felt some sort of hope for your future.

You had been seen, and he had liked what he saw.

[morbidfleur]

Tumblr revalations 3:35

As much as being sad is coquette or whatever, it really isn't. Most of my followers have been failed by the world somehow. I can't get him out of my head, this is a note to Avery. I'm sorry your parents didn't care. I'm sorry that the school and the superintendent forgot about you when you stopped going to school. I'm sorry that I saw you on the side of the road looking homeless. I'm sorry your parents didn't help. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry you had to grow up poor and that the world didn't care because your parents were fucking drug addicts. I'm sorry for the fucking kids in the projects who get forgotten because they aren't rich so they can't go to no fucking shitty ass mental hospital. Fuck the fucking system for letting Avery fall through the cracks. Fuck the system for letting my class of 20 only have 10 students. Fuck the system for letting me thrive and letting Avery fall. Why the fuck should I be the kid getting a fucking 95. Why? Is it because my parents make more fucking money than Avery's parents? Is it because I'm white? I'm not any more fucking worthy of this shit than a black kid whose parents make 25k a year and who is living on the other side of the city. FUCK EVERYBODY. Why did you forget the other bitches. The only reason your fucking mental illness is coquette is because your white and you can get help. Depression is aesthetic and Lana del Rey when a fucking rich white girl has it but a lost cause when it's a poor black kid with a heroin addiction. Sorry followers.

[books-of-boxes]

Post- Corn Cuties, Riz Seacaster and Fig Gukgak have a conversation.

[imjulia-andilikecats]

Do you think if Maven had whisper powers he would make Mare obsessed with him in similar way he is obsessed with her? To get Cal out of her head? How would he use his powers?

Thank you for the ask and sorry if this took a while to answer. Cause fun fact, my 16 year old ass, once thought, "Maybe Maven inheritend Elara's ability, cause he sense that Mare is in too much pain." Now as an adult, made me realize..."No shit, anyone with 20/20 vision can tell that Mare is in a lit of pain."

I was not a bright bulb in my young (and even now, but not as obvious).

Oh...now THAT is an ask that will garner this warning

TW: Violence, NON-CON

If in an alternative setting, Maven would be a whisper instead of a burner. There would be a problem.

Who is Maven's father? Given Silvers inherent their abilities from their biological father.

Or better yet, Elara didn't cheat and Maven's whisper ability that he got from his mother is simply anomaly. (I will go for this route, because....it's more fun).😏

Background:

The moment Elara Merandus sensed Maven's whisper ability, it frightened her. The gods answered her prayers for a son but had this as an exchange?

But as quickly she questioned her gods, something else dawned on her. She is a whisper and her son is supposed to be burner, like his father, the king.

Yet, he is a whisperer.

At that point, Elara's fear was replaced by sense of revalation. That House Merandus is the true ruler of Norta.

Elara hid Maven's ability. Ordered a small grpup of skilled Red blacksmiths and mechanics to create a device that could eject fire from the hands of the wearer.

Once it was done, Elara so pleased with their craftsmanship and wanted them to serve only her and her son forever, so she had their tongues cut out and hidden away.

Only a handful of "allies" knew about Maven's true ability.

For example, Rane Arven, he knew about his young prince's strengths and "limitations", which he made sure to push him enough to be stronger but not too much, that he might get exposed.

Pinning him against close range fighters, to not strain Maven's fire mechanism and to hone his skills in hand-to-hand combat.

Which Maven excelled overtime, however, it did little to compensate his inferior 'fire ability', especially against his older brother.

After hours of rigorous training, Elara would train Maven in his whisper ability. How to read their minds, how to control one's mobility and how to sense a whisper using their ability on them.

Elara taught every skill a Merandus should know, but not enough to out do her in her own game.

Most would think that since Maven is also a whisper, he is not immune to Elara's tinkering.

Which unfortunately, still happen since Elara is one of the most skilled Whisper in Nortan soil, changing what could still be changed in Maven. Especially, during his childhood.

The following book segments would mostly focus on Maven and Mare's dynamic

Red Queen

Maven didn't need to use much of his ability around Mare. Her face is very easy to read and his mother already feeding him information. He was simply too annoyed at being betrothed to a nobody, to even care at first.

However, he still needs to follow his mother's plan and befriend Mare. To give her a false sense of security and encourage her to take on more responsibility in aiding the Scarlet Guard.

Overtime, Maven would notice his older brother getting a bit too chummy with Mare. As great of an idea to use that against Cal, he somehow felt a bit annoyed that he is attracted to his fiancée.

Slowly, he starts to like talking to Mare. He could sense her emotions being lighter around him. He started to pry at her mind, seeing how fond she was of him and how highly she thinks of him, which made him feel good.

Though he doesn't like Cal appearing in her mind and probably felt a sudden stab of anger when he saw in her memory that Cal offered her to dance.

Maven was considering offering her to dance himself, but Elara chided him for almost letting his emotions get the best of him. Elara was still pissed that her son stopped her from choking Mare and even blocked her whispers from getting into his mind.

So his mother made him watch his perfect brother devour his fiancée's lovely face from the footage.

After that incident, Maven would read Mare's mind more often. Seeing how she felt for him and Cal.

Feeling happy that she was conflicted and how shallow her attraction to Cal was. Which means, making her hate him would be easy.

Maven never used his powers to push Mare to hate Cal, his perfect older brother simply did his duty and got betrayed for it.

When Mare and Cal were captured and placed in the cell. Maven disclosed everyrhing Elara did and his true feelings towards their father and Cal.

Maven knew that Mare cares for him and was afraid for her life. Offered her his protection. He felt shocked when Mare professed that she loved him and he was better.

He knew that but to say it out loud abd with Cal close enough to hear. That made his heart soar and break at the same time.

He offered to help her again, but she simply spat in his face. Sensing her affection turning to hatred.

Mare and Cal were able to survive long enough to get rescued by the Scarlet guard.

Glass Sword

There won't be much use of his powers, since Mare and Cal are on the run and trying to save as much Newbloods as they could.

When Maven branded her, he also read her mind. He sense fear, anger, betrayal and hope that he was still Maven, her Maven.

When Mare escaped again, he felt foolish. Instead of gathering information from Mare and how they were able to evade him, he just wanted to see if she still felt something for him.

Maven was a wrech when he saw his mother.

When he caught her, he wanted her to pay for what she did to his mother and he will make her pay.

King's Cage

This is where Maven would start to make good "use" of his powers. He is alone and surrounded by enemies.

He didn't dare try and read through Mare's mind, even if she had valuable information about the Scarlet Guard.

Maven felt sick to even consider it, as she was the one who killed his mother. Even so, he still couldn't let her go.

After some time and Samson's interrogation. He had a plan.

Mare is surrounded by silent stones, keeping her from using her powers and protected from any Silver who wants to cause her harm.

Which leaves Maven on having her silent stones removed during her deep sleep and enter her mind.

He was immediately hit by her emotions: fear, anger, regret and despair. He felt all of that and more, when he saw memories of his brother holding her at night.

He dug deeper, paling at the memories of his mother being ripped apart by her lightning.

Maven backed away and saw a shrounded figure, with the Scarlet Captain weeping near it. Then his brother's wrathful face, scolding Mare of her actions.

His back straighten at that, hearing his brother lightly implying her turning into a monster, like him.

Maven felt her emotions, strong of hate and madness.

He held firm and pulled them into the surface. Her heartbreak, shame and frustration towards his brother overwhelm her mind and heart.

As a few months pass, Maven sense her anger worsen and her hope dampen with those memories.

The painful emotions turning into loneliness that he happily minimized with his frequent request for her presence during his meals.

The Breakfast scene in King's Cage

Mare stares daggers at Maven, her mood has worsen day by day with silent stones and memories of her mistakes haunting her, even at day time.

As much as she resented him, she was grateful to have someone to blame and glare at. Even pleased when she didn't have ro wear those cursed shackles.

It continues as normal, Mare throwing questions at Maven with varying difficulty.

When she mentions the possibility of him being killed which would make her vulnerable. That is when Maven reassured her that he won't let that happen.

"I don't believe you." Mare said flatly, her plate filled with untouched food looking cold and gray.

Maven smirked at her. "They don't know the enemy, darling."

Mare only rolled her eyes, intending to insult him but all it did was to make him wink at her.

"They don't even know the most important thing about me." Maven stared at her fully, as if he wanted to make sure he has her full attention. As if he didn't want her to miss what he will say.

Mare frowned at that. Great. Another game.

"That you are a messy eater?" She replied dryly, resting her elbow on her arm rest.

Maven smile was mostly gone. Only one side of his mouth barely turned upward.

"They don't know my power." He said in a hushed voice. Like a student whispering to his classmate while the teacher spoke of their lesson.

Mare snarled at that.

When- Even if they can see me.

Mare flinched. She knew she heard him but his mouth didn't move.

"What-" She stammered. Her the familiar feeling of cold hands tounching her mind.

"I told you." Maven said matter of factly. They don't know anything.

Mare gripped with fear and adrenaline. Her hand easily found her butter knife, as she lunged at him from across the table.

Plates, silverware, and food falling violently on the marble floor. Erupting in a chaotic symphony, enough for any palace guard to open the door to protect their highness.

However, the door remained shut.

Even as she held the dull blade against his pale throat.

Mare stared at him in new found terror. He spoke to her, in her mind. She felt his whispers.

Maven unfazed by her stunt, even seem to enjoy her proximity.

"Calm yourself." He commanded, his blue eyes flicking towards the door.

Still overwhelmed by the revalation, fearing he would finish what his cruel mother plan to do with her. Mare tried to plunge the knife at the side of his neck.

But she could barely move. Not at muscle.

"You won't win Mare." Maven said bluntly.

"You think you can?" She spit back. Her voice tremble at how numb her fingers are.

"Not yet." Maven then held both her wrists.

Untangling her hand from his collar and the other releasing the knife. All happened simply because she couldn't move.

He moved her away from him with ease. Standing over her, while he still held both her wrists. His thumbs caressing them, as to ease her from all of this.

His blue eyes stare deep into hers. "But I can protect you." His voicd trembled, words dripping with desparation.

She felt her legs move on their own, pushing her up from the messy floor, as she stood with tembling feet.

"I don't-No."

Maven clicked his tongue, growing impatient with her.

Letting one of her wrist go, and moving away a few strands of her limp hair, then gently tucking in behind her jeweled ear.

She tried to turn away from his touch but he gripped her jaw tightly. Not letting her escape.

"Since you'll never trust me." His eyes staring bwtween her eyes and mouth.

Maven moved closer to her, she could feel their clothes pressed together. His breath brushing against her lips.

"Let's make a deal." He murmered. His pale hand loosening it grip, as it caresses her sunken cheek.

"Devote yourself to me, as you did to your cause." Mare wanted to pull herself away from him, but she could only control her breathing. No. Never.

Maven undeterred by her denial. Pressed his lips against her ear. His control seeming to slip at any moment.

Mare felt a shiver crawl down her spine, as she felt him take in her scent before he continue his sentence.

"Or have your people's suffering worsen and I will make sure they'll know who to thank."

Mare wanted to scream in his ear, scratch his face, make him bleed.

"So choose, wisely." Maven finished, but before he move away. He turned his head, his lips pressing firmly at the corner of her mouth. It lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity to her.

Then he moved away, releasing her from his control.

She suddenly fell on her knees, as her world shattered for a hundreth time.

Note: Maven would definitely use his powers on her, but knowing how much of a mess his mother did to his mind. When she tried to remove his love for Thomas and Mare, but only teisted it into obsession.

I also think that Maven loved Mare because she accepted him, even with his "undesirable" flaws and to alter that certain emotion on her, would make it feel "insincere" to him.

So he focused more on her regret, self-loathing and rage to isolate and control her.

[kangaroosmile]

Feel the Beat - Changjin

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description: "So will you do it?" His head snapped towards Hyunjin who was looking at him with a little smirk. He looked so confident about winning that Changbins mouth betrayed him. "Yes I will", he stated.

Or when two rival dance crews have to decide which one will perform in a TV show, they make a bet. A bet that involves making the other participant fall in love. But what consequences will it have for Hyunjin and Changbin.

pairing: Changbin x Hyunjin

genre: dancing, bet, rivals to lovers, a little bit of angst, happy ending

word count: ~ 25k

You can find more of my stories under Stray Kids Masterlist

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I

Changbin was late for practice and he knew Minho Hyung would kill him. It wasn't like he came too late to their practice often but Minho Hyung texted them earlier that today was a special day. Changbin cursed under his breath and opened the door to the dance studio. He greeted the young woman at the reception and ran up the stairs. Carefully but still with strength he knocked on the door to their regular practice room then he let himself in. The first one he saw was Minho-Hyung who looked at him with a glance he couldn't quite identify but he was still kinda terrified.

“I'm sorry for being late, Hyung”, he muttered, bowing lightly. Eventhough Changbin and Minho were best friends for several years now, he was still the leader of their little dance group.

“You are always on time, why do you have to be late today out of all the day?”, he hissed angrily. Changbin swallowed hard as he heard Minhos voice. He decided to say no more and just let himself fall down next to Jeongin and Seungmin.

“It's not your fault. Hyung was already stressed when I came here and I was about 20 minutes too early”, Seungmin whispered into Changbins ear. It made him feel better. Just a tiny bit but it made him feel not as guilty. Still he wondered why Minho was in such a bad mood.

“Alright, I think now everyone is present, right?” Changbins head snapped around towards the man that was standing near the sound system. It was the owner of the dance studio, Mr. Choi, and also their old dance teacher but now that they were all grown ups they didn't have dance lessons with him anymore.

“That is right.” For a second Changbins eyes got wide the moment he recognised the voice. His eyes drifted towards the other side of the room. A bit away from the practice room door sat another group of four men. He was so focused on not getting a kick in the ass from Minho that he didn't notice them at all. For a moment he stared at them. He couldn't help but wonder why they were here. Not just the others but all of them. Mr. Choi knew that both dance groups couldnt be in the same room peacefully. Changbin held back a sigh and looked again toward the middle aged man. He was more than curious to learn why they were here.

“Thank you, Hyunjin”, he said and gave him a smile. “I already talked with Hyunjin and Minho a bit about what I will tell you now.” Changbin was starting to feel nervous. What was this all about? His glance travelled towards the other side of the studio. For a moment he met eyes with Hyunjin and he nearly rolled his eyes. It was not like he hated Hyunjin. Changbin just found him annoying sometimes. He couldn't help it. Maybe it was all because of the revality between the two dance groups but he couldn't tell. Changbin didn't even notice that he was still staring at Hyunjin but Hyunjin did.

“What the hell is he doing?”, Hyunjin muttered, which attracted Jisungs attention. The younger one looked at his Hyung.

“Just ignore him. His brain is probably all empty.” On Hyunjins lips a smirk grew as he thought about it.

“Probably “, he replied, which made Jisung laugh a little.

“Like I said, I told Hyunjin and Minho already that my studio got the chance to send one dance group to a TV show”, Mr. Choi said with a wide smile. Meanwhile Changbins mouth fell open. That was a really big chance for them.

“That sounds amazing”, he whispered, Seungmin and Jeongin agreeing with light nods. They were also very surprised. But the next words spoken by Mr. Choi cushioned their excitement.

“Both of your dance groups are really good and I'm sure you could win the show but I won't decide which one of you will go. You are all grown up so I want you to discuss which group will go. I'm also open to new constellations.” Changbin was too shocked to even say anything. His glance kept wandering between Mr. Choi and the dance group of Hyunjin. He knew they would never back away. This opportunity was just too good.

“You will have time to find a conclusion till the end of the month." Both Hyunjin and Minho stood up and bowed to him. Still in shock, Changbin watched how Mr. Choi leaves the eight young men alone in the studio. For a moment the studio was quiet.

Hyunjin looked at Minho.

"I think we can agree that my team will go to the tv show. We are better than you", he said with his chin up high and a confident smile but all Minho could do was laugh.

"I didn't know you were good at making jokes", Minho fired back, crossing his arms while he looked like he was about to fry Hyunjin alive.

"I'm not joking! We are better than you."

"I guess you need to clean your ears again because Mr. Choi said both groups are equally good“, Seungmin hissed, getting up and standing next to Minho.

“Don’t speak so disrespectfully with someone that’s older than you”, Hyunjin said with anger in his eyes.

“Then imagine I said it instead”, Changbin replied while he stared with half closed eyes at Hyunjin. For some people he might have looked intimidating but not for Hyunjin. Alright maybe a little but he couldn't show that Changbin.

“Hyung please do something”, Felix whispered near Chan's ear, while he looked back and forth between Hyunjin and Minho, Changbin and Seungmin. Felix never really understood the revality between their two dance groups. Chan let out a sigh, looked at the younger one and patted Felix's thigh lightly. He stood up, walked towards Hyunjin and softly put a hand on the younger one's shoulder.

“What do you want, Hyung?”, Hyunjin asked, still deep into the confrontation with the other men.

“Fighting gets us nowhere”, Chan muttered and then also looked at Minho with serious eyes.

“You are right Hyung”, Minho said. Even though Chan and Minho were in different dance groups they were quite close. Hyunjin was still staring at his Hyung, not believing what he just did. He let out a little “tsk” but kept quiet.

“We need to find another way.”

“I know something!”, Jisung nearly screamed, while he jumped up and down in excitement. Changbin barely held back his smile.

“And that would be?”, Minho asked, eying the younger one suspiciously. Jisung on the other side smiled even wider.

"Okay, okay listen to me. Two out of the groups are gonna try to make the other one fall in love. Whoever makes the other one fall for them wins and that team will go to the tv show." Jisung looked very proud of his idea, Jeongin on the other side just started to giggle while Minho was shaking his head slightly.

"Sounds good."

"Sounds good? Hyunjin, it sounds good? Are you nuts?", Chan hissed, grabbing the shoulder of the younger one harder.

"What? I'm gonna win anyways", Hyunjins said confidently. Changbin was surprised by Hyunjins action. How could he be so confident? "Which of you will try against me?"

"Hyunjin this isn't a game", Chan muttered but was ignored. Hyunjin just looked at Minho, still waiting whether the older one would agree with such an idea.

Minho himself glanced towards Changbin, who didn't notice the glance at first but then shook his head intensely.

"Why me?"

"Because Jeongin is too young for this and Seungmin is Seungmin, he would never get someone to fall in love so quickly. He is more like the one you fall in love with over the years but then it would be forever."

"I'm 21, Hyung. I'm not a baby anymore", Jeongin pouted.

"And what about you, Hyung?" Changbin didn't want to do that.

"I would do it but", Minho stopped for a second and bit his lower lip. "But I already like someone." Changbin stared back at Minho and was just speechless. Why has he never told Changbin?

"So will you do it?" His head snapped towards Hyunjin who was looking at him with a little smirk. He looked so confident about winning that Changbins mouth betrayed him.

"Yes I will", he stated.

"Please overthink this one more time", Chan tried to change their minds one last time but it was hopeless. He let out a frustrated hum and then walked back to Felix who was still sitting against the wall observing everything.

"This will clearly backfire", he muttered and fell down next to Felix who immediately side hugged him.

"It probably will. We just don't know for which side", Felix muttered.

"Alright then everything is clear. We will start tomorrow", Hyunjin decided. Hesitantly Changbin nodded. He had this strange feeling in his stomach that everything would end up in a mess but he also wouldn't let Hyunjin win this easily. Performing in the tv show could mean the beginning of something big and he knew how hard Minho worked the past few years for such an opportunity.

Hyunjin backed away and went, followed by Jisung, to Felix and Chan.

"Let's go and start practising. I hope the studio I booked is still free. We are 15 minutes late." Not even a minute later they left the studio.

For a moment Minho closed his eyes, rubbed over them and let out a little sigh.

"Don't get nervous, Hyung. Changbin Hyung will make him fall easily", Jeongin tried to comfort the older one.

"Who wouldn't fall in love with Changbin Hyung? I mean at least when they don't like someone else already." Minho gave them all a light smile.

"Thanks for doing it", he said and patted Changbins shoulder.

"I hope I will not regret it", Changbin laughed nervously and looked down towards his shoes. But then his eyes fell on the older one.

"But when did you plan to tell me that you like someone?" Changbin said, with a smirk he couldn't hold back, how Minho's ears started to redden up.

"Let's start practice. We already lost nearly 20 minutes because of this." Changbin held back a sigh and nodded.

"Tell me when you are ready, Hyung", he said, softly smiling at Minho. He knew Minho would tell him someday and he would wait patiently.

"Alright let's go."

II

The next day came faster than Changbin liked him to and the problem was, he didn't really sleep well. His mind was full of thoughts and he damned this whole situation and his mindless words. He has never been in a relationship nor did he make people fall in love with him. He would definitely fail this but he would make sure he would not fall for Hyunjin. With a heavy sigh Changbin got up from his bed and walked out of his small bedroom. He nearly fell over some bags he forgot to pack away yesterday. He held back some swear words as he entered the bathroom. There he washed his face and brushed his teeths. For a moment he stared into the mirror, making strange faces to cheer himself up. With a little smile he left the bathroom and went into his kitchen. He made himself something to drink and something to eat and sat down.

Changbin sat in his kitchen even after he had finished eating, staring out of the window, when his phone suddenly made a loud sound. He flinched but grabbed his phone immediately.

Unknown number

Hey, this is Hyunjin.

Changbin

Where the heck did you get my number from?

Hyunjin

Oh what a nice first text from Mr. Changbin.

I got your number from Channie-Hyung and he got it from Minho.

Changbin

Well good to know that Minho-Hyung gives away my number without my permission.

Hyunjin

Well we somehow need to get in touch, don't we?

When do we want to meet?

Changbin went out of his kitchen into his living room and sat down on his sofa. He was still a bit mad that Minho gave his number away without even asking whether it would be alright or not. For a moment he looked out of the window but then his eyes wandered back towards his phone screen.

Changbin

Meet?

Why meet?

Hyunjin

I swear, I didn`t know you were that dumb.

We need to meet up so you can fall in love with me.

Changbin

Don`t call me dumb again!

And stop being so confident.

I will never fall for you!

Hyunjin

We will see, Honey.

Again, when do you want to meet?

Changbin

I have uni in half an hour but we could meet after my practice

Hyunjin

Sounds good to me.

I will be there to get you.

Changbin looked at Hyunjins last text and wondered how he would know when he had practice. What would they do? Had Hyunjin already had an idea? Changbin rolled his eyes and closed their chat. He was thinking too much again. At the moment he couldn't do anything. He would have to wait. His lips escaped a little sigh and he stood up. He was still tired but also very curious of what was to come. He got up and was getting ready for his lessons. He liked his degree but it was also exhausting sometimes. Changbin closed his door behind him and got on his motorbike outside the house.

It was his luck that he decided, out of all days, that he would sit further in the back because his body decided during the lesson that sleep would be quite good. He woke up again when the students around him packed away their things and went out. Tried he went over his face and slowly started to pack away his things. He stopped his recording and then walked as one of the last ones out.

The hallway is full of other students. Some of them were talking to each other. Sometimes Changbin wished he had friends that also took his degree but sadly nobody did.

"Changbin-ssi!" He heard someone calling him. Surprised, Changbin turned around to see Chan running towards him. With big eyes he watched how the older one stopped in front of him.

"Chan-ssi."

"Hello Changbin. Where are you heading?" Changbin was quite confused. He knew from Minho that Chan also studied but he never saw him. Or at least never noticed him till now.

"Practice, I will stop at a boba shop, though. And you?"

"I'm on my way to the studio too. Forgot my headphones." Slowly Changbin nodded. They started walking again.

"How is it even possible to forget headphones?" This question made Chan laugh out loud which made Changbin smile too. He liked making people laugh.

"Believe me. I don't know how I managed to do that. Normally my headphones are the first thing I check when I leave but I guess I forgot it yesterday." With a smile Changbin nodded again.

"Would you like to come with me? To the boba shop I mean.”

“The one that is next to the studio or the one with a wall of grass?” Confused, Changbin looked at the older one.

“Grass wall?”

“I guess you mean the one next to the studio then. The other one just opened up I think. Felix dragged me with him last week to check the tea out.” They walk across a street, the shop now in visibility.

“You need to tell me the address. Maybe I can take Hyunjin there.” Immediately Chan's mood changed and he just stared at Changbin while the latter ordered their teas.

“So you also really want to do it? I thought maybe you would be the more grounded one.” Changbin let out a sigh and watched how their teas were made.

“Honestly I don't want to do it… I do it for Minho-Hyung because he works so fucking hard and would deserve this chance”, Changbin explained. “And also because Hyunjin seems so full of himself that I just agreed to this.”

“Someday it will make him fall down on his knees”, Chan muttered and then helped with their drinks. “But he also has a kind heart. Please don't hurt him.” Changbin let out a loud laugh.

“Well according to Hyunjin, I will be the one that will fall in love and not him.” Chan just answered with a little hum.

“Thanks for helping me with the drinks. We will probably see eachother soon again”, Changbin muttered, while Chan started smiling and nodded lightly.

“Sure and also thanks for the tea.” Changbin returned the smile and then walked towards the dance studio that Minho booked.

When he opened the door, he saw that Minho was already there, standing at the stereo.

“Hello Hyung”, he greeted Minho softly, when he stopped next to him. The older one looked away from the laptop.

“Changbin, you are early today”, he mumbled, still catched in his own thoughts.

“I had to make up for yesterday hyung. I also bought boba tea.” Finally Changbin got Minho out of his kinda trance. Minho's face lit up and he grabbed his tea with both hands.

“Thanks Binnie.” He took a big sip and then let out a little sigh. “That's exactly what I needed right now.”

“You are welcome. When did you arrive?”

“About two hours ago, I think. I came up with the beginning of a new choreo. Maybe even for the show, we will see.”

“Uh I'm excited to see what you made up in your clever head.”

They were interrupted when Seungmin opened the door, followed by Jeongin.

“Hello Hyungs”, the latter shouted and ran towards them, while Seungmin put down his backpack first and then walked over to them.

“Hello Minho-Hyung, Changbin-Hyung”, Seungmin greeted them too and gave them a big smile. With a wide smile Changbin gave the two younger men their bobas. For a few minutes the four men drank a bit of their boba in silence, then Minho jolted them all up and they started to warm up. Soon Changbin felt his body and mind relax. He started to feel present in the moment. It was always like that. Sooner or later when they started practising he would start to feel grounded and present in the moment.

All four young men were so focused on their new choreo that none of them, not even Minho that normally notices everything during practice, noticed how the door got open and closed after about one and a half hour of practice.

"I swear I will go crazy should you do that move wrong one more time, Changbin-ssi", a voice behind them grumbled. Changbins lifted up his head fastly just to see Hyunjin sitting against the opposite wall casually.

"Yah! What are you doing here?", Minho asked, getting out of his pose, turning around. Even though Seungmin knew Minho for years now, he sometimes got still surprised by Minho's sudden outbursts.

"I'm waiting for Changbin."

"Yeah we will go eat after practice, Hyung", Changbin confirmed with a low sigh.

"Alright but does he have to be here?"

"Oh come on I will not steal your choreo. I'm not that cheap", Hyunjin replied, rolling his eyes. For a long moment Minho stared at Hyunjin, probably choosing whether to trust the younger one or not.

"Alright you can stay", Minho then said towards Hyunjin and turned around again.

"And Binnie, he is right. You did the last move wrong before he interrupted. Do you want me to show it to you one more time?" For a second Changbin stared at Hyunjin through the mirror only getting a wide smirk as an answer. He closed his eyes and then nodded.

"I would appreciate that Hyung." Once more Changbin glance fell on Hyunjin who was still staring at him but then he focused on his Hyung. He could still feel Hyunjins eyes on him which made it way more difficult to concentrate on the choreo but he still tried his best.

They trained for about half an hour until another group came in to practice.

III

The five young men stood outside the dance studio for a while. Changbin felt his heart beating hard against his chest. He didn’t even understand why he was so nervous to begin with. It was just Hyunjin.

„Are we meeting on the weekend?“, Seungmin asked the others. „You meet on the weekends? For dance practice?“, Hyunjin muttered, looking down at Changbin.

„Not only for dance practice. Sometimes we do dance a bit but most of the time we just hang out, game a bit and eat something together.“

„And sometimes we drink a bit“, Seungmin whispered with a grin on his lips.

„Sounds fun“, Hyunjin muttered, sounding more than uninterested.

„Well at least we can bond because of that better than you", Minho hissed feeling kinda attacked but the younger one just rolled his eyes. Changbin felt a strange tension building up so the only logical thing he could think of was getting Hyunjin away from his friends.

"We should go now. I'm really hungry", he told Hyunjin. He gave Seungmin and Jeongin a hug and patted Minho on the shoulder.

"Rest a bit, Hyung. You worked a lot today. Also don't forget to eat well." Minho started to smile lightly and nodded.

"Don't let yourself get killed", he joked, side-eyeing Hyunjin which got both Seungmin and jeongin laughing.

"Can we go now?", Hyunjin asked annoyed, rolling his eyes. Changbin held back a laugh but gave the younger one a thumbs up. He waved to his friends once more and then started walking, followed by Hyunjin.

"Where do you want to go?", Changbin asked, rubbing his tummy unintentionally. He was really hungry now. After Hyunjin catched up with Changbin he looked down at him.

"I know a place", he muttered, taking the lead. They walked in silence for a few minutes, Changbin following Hyunjin like a lost puppy. The taller one stopped in front of a small side street.

„Do you want to kill me? Will that be my end?”, Changbin joked, staring into the street, which made Hyunjin giggle for the first time, even though he didn’t want to giggle.

“Maybe, maybe”, he whispered with a wide smile. “No, I found a little restaurant a few weeks ago and it is so comfortable.” Hyunjin walked first into the street followed by the other one.

Changbin expected not much but when they entered the little restaurant he was surprised. A lot of plants were placed everywhere and curtains in soft caramel separated the different tables. In addition, an amazing smell lingered around and had Changbins stomach growling loudly.

“How on earth did you find such a place? It looks like a setting in a drama”, Changbin joked, walking further into the restaurant. Hyunjin had no chance to answer because a waitress appeared next to them with a welcoming smile and walked them towards a free table.

From their table they could look out of a window into a little backyard. While Changbin is still too focused on the environment, Hyunjin is already reading the menu. Secretly he already knew what he would order, then he looked up the menu beforehand. After Changbin looked around enough, he read the menu and then they ordered.

They fell into silence and the older one couldn't point out whether it was a comfortable silence or not. He saw how Hyunjin started playing with his fingers. Was he nervous? Probably not. Why would Hyunjin be nervous?

Hyunjin on the other hand didn't know why he felt kind of nervous. Maybe it was because he never really went on a date even though he was 23 now. He just never had the time to do so.

“So… what now?”, Changbin asked, rubbing his hand together and looking at the younger one. The other one chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “What do you do besides dancing?”

“Really?”, Hyunjin muttered.

“What? Do you want us to just sit there in silence till we walk out of this restaurant again?” Changbin hissed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He was trying to get familiar with Hyunjin but how could he do that when the latter blocked his attempts. For a moment the young man in front of him sighed but then he nodded.

“I like to draw“, he started. „I can show you a few things if you want to.” Hyunjin already started to get his phone out of his pocket. “Look.” Slowly he went through his different pictures.

“Wow you are talented. It all looks really nice.”

“You sound so surprised”, Hyunjin teased and for a second Changbin was taking apart because it was a playful teasing and not in a mean kind of way. The older one rolled his eyes.

“Of course I'm surprised. I mean how should I have even known that? Since when do you draw?”

“To be honest I always liked it but I just started two year ago to really concentrate on it and take online classes to improve. I can forget everything when I'm drawing.” Changbin nodded slowly, still too surprised to say anything that would make sense. Right when he wanted to say something their dinner came.

"It smells so nice", Changbin muttered, already grabbing his chopsticks.

“It will taste great too.” For a second he looked at Hyunjin who was staring at him.

“You eat first”, Changbin said, which took the younger one by surprise.

“But you are the older one. You should eat first!”, he tried to protest but when he saw Changbins stubborn glance. Slowly he took some of the food that was standing in the middle of the table and started to eat. Immediately his eyes lit up and a little smile appeared on his face. When Hyunjin took some of the food again, Changbin started to eat too.

“It really tastes good.” The two ate in silence but much to Changbins surprise it wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. It was not as comfortable as with Minho-Hyung, Seungmin or Jeongin but it was not as bad as he considered.

They ate slowly but soon enough every dish was empty. With a huff Hyunjin laid back.

“That was really good”, he muttered. Changbin just nodded, finished his lemonade.

“That's true. I will definitely eat here again.” This made Hyunjin smile a little. He felt proud that Changbin liked the restaurant so much that he wanted to come back some time later.

“I want to pay”, Hyunjin announced loudly when the waitress passed them.

“What? Why are you paying?”

“Because I asked you to meet today.” With this answer Changbin was satisfied and let the younger pay for their dinner.

When they stepped out of the restaurant Changbin turned towards the other one.

“Do you want to come too? I mean this weekend, when I meet up with the boys.”

“And you want me to come?” Hyunjin asked, confused.

“Obviously, I wouldn't have asked otherwise. I want to show you that our meetings can indeed be fun.” For a moment the Hyunjin was just staring at him, debating whether he should go or not.

“Alright but my crew will come along. You will write me when and where we're gonna meet?” At first Changbin wanted to deny it but then he thought, Minho and Chan were already friends so that would not be a problem. Felix and Jisung… he would have to see how that would go. So he nodded lightly. Softly he patted Hyunjins shoulder and then turned around.

“See you Hyunjin.” Hyunjin on the other side watched him walk away. He was confused because he didn't expect Changbin to be so nice and comfortable to be around. He didn't even want to think of the moment when Changbin layed down some of the fish on his bowl when he noticed Hyunjin liked it quite a lot. It had taken him by surprise. Of course he had rolled his eyes but when he ate the piece of fish it tasted much better than the pieces he had eaten previously. With a shook of his head, to let go of his thoughts, Hyunjin walked home.

IV

“Why didn't you tell us all of them would come?”, Minho hissed into Changbins ear. The two stood next to the kitchen in Minho's apartment, looking at the four men that had just arrived.

“I'm sorry Hyung. I thought you would say no. But I'm surprised Chan didn't say anything."

"I swear I will air fry you", Minho muttered. For a second Changbin stared at his Hyung but then a small smile appeared on his face.

“You wouldn't do that. Who would make sure we got to the Tv show then?” Minho let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes.

“Lucky you. I swear I will fry you when all of this has ended.” But in the next second his face lit up a bit when Chan was walking towards the both of them. The older one hugged him.

“Hyung”, Minho let out a whine and tried to break away from Chan but he didn't let him. With big eyes Changbin watched the two men. He was fascinated by the way his Hyung interacted with the older young man. In their friend group Minho was the oldest so it was something new to see him not be the oldest.

“I'm also happy to see you, Minho”, Chan answered in a higher voice, hugging him a bit tighter before he let him be. When he saw Minho's face he couldn't hold back and started to laugh. Changbin also started to grin. He could get used to the way Minho acted around Chan.

“What are you guys laughing about?” Jisungs voice filled the air and the next second he wrapped his arm around Chan, checking out Changbin and then Minho. For a moment Jisungs eyes stayed on Minho. It was just a second but it was enough for Minho to get nervous. Changbin raised one eyebrow and gave Minho a look but he was ignored by his Hyung.

“Hey Changbin.” Changbin looked towards Hyunjin. The first thing he noticed was Hyunjins blond hair.

“You bleached your hair. It looks good on you”, he muttered, stroking through Hyunjins hair. Hyunjin felt his cheeks warm up against his will. Hyunjin looked away and greeted Minho with a nod.

“Alright let's go into the living room. Minnie and Innie are waiting there for us.”

Changbin was the first that went into the living room. He saw Seungmin and Jeongin sitting on the sofa and nearly jumped on both of them.

“What's up?”, he laughed and greeted both of them, Changbin had arrived just a few minutes before the four other men.

“Hyung stop”, Jeongin whined. “You are embarrassing.” With a little giggle Changbin got up from both of them and winked at Jeongin. Seungmin smirked and poked the younger one into the side.

Behind Changbin the other walked into the room.

“Nice room, Minho-ssi. I love that you have so many plants.”

“Thanks.” All three, Seungmin, Jeongin and Changbin looked at each other and then at their Hyung. It was rare for Minho to thank them, he would show it in another way but to hear Minho thank Jisung was really rare.

“He is up to something”, Seungmin mumbled, receiving a nod from both Jeongin and Changbin.

“What have you planned? Hyunjin didn't want to tell us anything”, Felix asked, as he fell down on the pillows that were laid down on the floor. He smiled up at the others.

“Nothing much. We want to order pizza, we didn't do that in ages and boba later. Maybe play some mario kart.” Changbin could see how Felix's eyes lit up.

“Finally someone that also likes to play mario kart.”

“He acts like we never play any games with him”, Chan grumbled and rolled his eyes, still he could hold back a little smile.

“But I always have to beg you.” A sad pout formed on Felix's lips.

“Is he always this cute?”, Changbin asked, not letting his eyes on the younger one. He didn't know Felix from their dance lessons back when they were children because Felix moved from Australia to Korea only a few years ago.

“It's his natural element”, Hyunjins answered, looking back and forth between Changbin and Felix. If he didnt know it any better he would think Hyunjin was jealous that he called the australian boy cute.

Hyunjin and Jisung were still standing.

“Will you be standing there the entire time or will you sit down with us? Because if you two keep standing, please find another place that is not right in front of the television”, Minho scold the two younger men. With wide eyes Jisung stared at him but didn't move, while Hyunjin went up to Changbin and sat next to him on the side rest of Minho's sofa. Hyunjin, who was taller than Changbin anyways, looked even taller as he looked down at him.

“Minho nearly wanted to kill me when he saw that not just you but all of your crew entered his apartment.” Hyunjin started to giggle and then looked at Changbin with a stupid grin.

“I would like to see that.” The older one let out an offended sound and pushed Hyunjin a little, who lost balance and nearly fell off the sofa. Not just Changbin but also Seungmin and Jeongin started to laugh. With red cheeks Hyunjin tried to stare Changbin down but he was too embarrassed to make it work.

“Never do that again”, he whispered and slapped the other one lightly against his shoulder. They looked at each other for another minute before Changbin looked away and noticed that Jisung now sat in front of Minho on the floor, having his back against the armchair.

Changbin was not fully there the first half hour of their meeting. He was staring at his hands or the tv without really reacting to anything.

“What's with you?”, he heard Hyunjin whisper against his ear. Now he could also feel the weight of the other on his side. Slowly he looked at him.

“Why do you care?” His mouth was faster than his brain. He saw how Hyunjin pressed his lips together and stared at him for a second before he shook his head. He sat up again, crossed his arms before his chest and didn't give him any attention. The older one felt bad for his words. Hyunjin noticed that he was spacing out and instead of being kind he was such a coward. Changbin noticed how his thoughts were getting more and more bustling when a controller was placed in his hand.

“It's your turn Hyung to play against Minho-Hyung, Chan-Hyung and Innie”, Seungmin explained. Changbin could see Chan's eyes grow big and his ears got all red. Of course Seungmin noticed Chan's red ears but he didn't say anything. Changbin smiled a little. But then the round started and all he could focus on was not to mess up completely in front of Hyunjin. He would also get teased into the unknown from Minho for forever.

He was miserable and so he got on the seventh place while Jeongin got on the first place, Chan on the second and Minho, even though he never really played, got on the fourth place.

“You suck at this”, Hyunjin whispered next to him with an arrogant smirk on his lips.

“Well then do it better than me”, Changbin challenged the younger one and looked up to him. Still with a lot of confidence Hyunjin grabbed the controller, all his focus was now on the tv. He played well. Way better than Changbin. He would definitely win. For a second Changbin hesitated but then he pulled the other man towards him. Hyunjin let out a surprised little scream. He was now half on top of the other. Changbin had one of his arms wrapped around Hyunjins small waist.

“You nearly fell off the sofa”, said Changbin to cover his action while Hyunjin just stared at him.

“Jinnie you lost”, Jisung laughed and grinned at him stupidly when the round ended.

“That's all your fault”, Hyunjins hissed, hitting Changbins chest but it was softer. The older one couldn't hide his smile. “I wish I could erase that smile from your face right now.” The smile on his face grew even bigger but he turned his head so Hyunjin couldn't see that.

Changbin nearly expected Hyunjin to back away again but to his surprise the younger didn't. While he played another round he leaned more against Changbins chest. He was probably doing it on purpose, Changbin thought. As a payback for the ruined round. Hyunjin was quite warm and Changbin felt jittery all of the sudden. He damned his heart that was probably taking him away. So he tried to distract himself, scrolling through instagram. He felt Jeongins glance on him and when he looked up, seeing his youngest friend to have a wide smirk on his lips, he couldn't resist rolling his eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that”, he hissed, getting Hyunjins attention. He turned his head as much as he could.

“Who should stop looking at you?” Changbins eyes grew big as he stared at the other one.

“Jeongin made a funny face. That's all”, Changbin said, nearly stuttering but he managed to get through it okay. Because he couldn't hold Hyunjins intensive glance he let his eyes travel around the room and they stayed on the clock.

“We should probably order soon. It's already past neun p.m.”

“Woah how time flies”, muttered Felix.

“Who will buy the pizza?”, Jeongin asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Rock, Scissor, Paper?”, Jisung asked, already getting up, looking happy for the challenge. Changbin rumbled but put his phone away.

“What?”, Hyunjin asked, his eyes on the older one, which made Changbin sigh.

“It's just that I always have bad luck with rock, scissor, paper. When it's just the four of us it's often me who has to pay.”

“Poor Binnie”, Hyunjin teased him with a wide smirk and a shimmer in his eyes that Changbin found really fascinating.

They started playing and as if Changbin predicted he lost and had to pay for all their pizza. Hyunjin was laughing lightly while the older one stared at him with half closed eyes.

“Stop, Hyunjinnie”, whined Changbin then with a big pout on his face but it made Hyunjin just laugh more. Softly he slapped the pout away from Changbins lips. It took him by surprise and he started laughing too.

“And who will buy boba?”, Felix asked and looked around.

“Well certainly not me. I'm already paying for your pizzas”, Changbin stated and luckily all agreed. He watched the other seven men play rock, scissor, paper.

“Your bad luck at the game ran off on me”, Hyunjin mumbled frustrated but took out his phone.

“Well I like that. It's because you laughed.” The blond man hummed.

The next few minutes eight men talked in a complete muddle. Both Changbin and Hyunjin went nearly crazy but after fifteen minutes everyone had said what they wanted and the both men ordered.

“I should have never asked whether my boys can come too. Now I have to pay for eight people and not just five.”

“Well I think it's not that bad. They get surprisingly well together”, Changbin muttered, looking at the others. “Especially Minho Hyung and Jisung.”

“I don't like him.”

“Well I guess that's a you problem. You just don't know him.”

“Yeah whatever.” For a moment the older one stared up to Hyunjin.

Later that night, when everyone started to leave, Changbin stared at Hyunjin who was now sitting next to Felix and Chan.

“I think I will go now too. It's pretty late already”, Changbin muttered and stood up. Slowly Hyunjin looked up to the older.

"Already? Do you need your grandpa sleep?", Hyunjin teased. For a moment Changbin was speechless and also couldn't think of a good comeback. He just snorted and shook his head.

"I will head home and have my grandpa sleep. Goodbye Felix, goodbye Chan-Hyung.", he waved them goodbye. "Hyunjin", he nodded with a light smile, then he went out and stopped at the kitchen, where Minho made some tea for all of them.

"Hyung, I'm heading home. I'm tired and just want to sleep. Will we see each other next week?" After a moment Minho looked at him and nodded.

"Sure. Oh and it was actually not that bad that the four of them came."

"Oh yeah I figured, Hyung", Changbin laughed and got out of the way when a sponge flew his way. "Love you too."

"Oh get lost!", Minho muttered but Changbin could see his red ears.

"Alright Hyung. See you", Changbin said, waving him goodbye and then started to get dressed. When he put on his jacket somebody stopped behind him.

"I'm coming with you", Hyunjin whispered after a second and started to get into his shoes and his jacket.

"Oh so you need some grandpa sleep too?", Changbin joked, but waited for the younger.

Eventhough it was spring, it was still quite cold outside when the both young men stepped out. They went side by side through the night.

V

A couple of days passed since they all met and after Changbin walked the younger one home, he didn't see Hyunjin in person again. But they texted throughout the days. Changbin found it strange but he was actually starting to enjoy their conversations. But sometimes he wondered whether Hyunjin also enjoyed their conversations as much as he did.

He just finished his lecture when his phone started vibrating. He was this close to just ignore it but then he let out a little sigh and fished his phone out of his back pocket.

Hyunjin

Hey

Hyunjin

Are you there?

Hyunjin

Changbin? Hello?

Changbin

Why would you spam like this?

Give me some time to respond!

Hyunjin

Oh right.

I forgot that you are old

Changbin

Excuse me?

I'm not even a year older than you!

Hyunjin

Still old, Honey!

With disbelief Changbin stared at the chat between Hyunjin and him. This man was something, he thought, shaking his head.

Changbin

What did you want by the way?

You probably didn't text me just to tell me that I'm old, right?

Hyunjin

Oh right, nearly forgot that haha

Hyunjin

Are you free today?

Changbin stopped walking, just staring at the text he just recieved. He knew that they had to meet again, otherwise he couldn't make Hyunjin fall for him but he also didn't think the younger one would ask him whether he is free. Lightly he placed one hand on his tummy, rubbing it slightly. Why was he getting nervous? He shook his head and started typing again.

Changbin

Depends

Why?

Hyunjin

Well I thought we could do something?

Changbin

Don't you have practice?

Hyunjin

Why do you know that?

Hyunjin

Nvm. The boys will understand why practice will be shorter today.

Changbin

Just because I'm not the leader of our dance group doesn't mean I don't know about the studio plan.

After that Hyunjin decided to not text him back and it was getting on him a bit. He was even unread. Maybe they started practising already, Changbin thought. Should he? With a little sigh, he changed his direction and started walking towards the dance studio instead of his home. He stopped at the boba shop and ordered tea. Luckily he remembered what they all liked, because due to the boba shop being close to the dance studio, it had happened that both dance crews went to order boba at the same time.

A bit later, he walked with a bag full of tea towards the studio. He greeted the man standing behind the reception and took the stairs, after he looked up which studio Hyunjin had booked.

He heard the music even outside the studio so he didn't even bother to knock because they would not hear him. Carefully he opened the door and slid in the studio. Within seconds the music was stopped and he had the attention of all four men.

“What are you doing here?” He heard Hyunjin.

“Weren't you the one that asked me whether I'm free? I thought, why not wait for you to finish here?,” Changbin explained and then held up the back full of tea. “I also bought tea for everyone.” Felix was the first one that stopped in front of him.

With big eyes he watched how Changbin placed the cups in front of him.

“Thank you, Hyung”, Felix said with a big smile on his face and grabbed one of the cups. Changbin returned his smile and felt quite happy when Felix called him Hyung. Jisung and Chan both grabbed their teas. Changbin looked up, seeing Hyunjin standing next to the sound system, writing something down in a notebook. Slowly he walked up to the younger one, putting his tea in front of him.

“This one is for you”, he nearly whispered into Hyunjins ear, liking the effect he had on the other one. Hyunjin tried to play it off but he couldn't hide his ears that slightly turned red.

“Thank you”, Hyunjin muttered, showing him a little smile. Changbin just nodded and then decided to sit down against the wall on the opposite side of the mirror.

“What are you doing?” Changbin watched Hyunjin with confused eyes.

“Do you want me to wait outside until you are finished?”, he asked with sarcasm in his voice. For a second Hyunjin stared at him, not knowing what to do but then he nodded.

“Right, right.” After that Hyunjin started the music again and ran in front of the others.

“Five, six, seven, eight”, he counted and they started to dance. Changbin watched silently and to be fair he understood why their old dance teacher also gave them the chance to go to the tv show. They were good. All of them. He thought maybe he would be bored, but he wasn't. He couldn't get his eyes off of Hyunjin. The way the blond one moved his body to the music was just hypnotising. He didn't even notice how the time flew till the music stopped and Chan, Felix and Jisung started packing their things up. He rubbed his eyes and looked towards Hyunjin who was also packing up his things. Slowly he stood up and walked towards the other one.

“So”, he started leaning against the wall next to Hyunjin with his arms crossed. “What do you want to do now?” After a moment Hyunjin looked up after changing his shoes and looked at him.

“Well to be honest I don't really know.” A bit shocked, Changbin stared at him.

“You don't know? I just wasted nearly two hours waiting for you because you don't know what we will do now?” Maybe he was a bit angry. But just a little bit. A tiny bit but he decided Hyunjin didn't need to know that. He saw the slight panic in Hyunjins and really tried his best not to laugh. “What do you think about the amusement park?,” Changbin asked after another moment and watched Hyunjins eyes grow big.

“That's an amazing idea, I haven't been at an amusement park in ages”, he said, jumping up and down in tiny. Seeing Hyunjin like that made Changbin feel all warm and happy. With a small smile he watched the younger man. “Okay let's go!” Hyunjin grabbed the older one hand and together they exited the studio.

When they arrived at the amusement park it was quite full but Changbin did not expect anything different.

“What do you want to do first?”, Changbin asked, looking towards the blond haired one. But Hyunjin was not even really there. He was staring at everything with big, shiny eyes. To be honest Changbin had never seen him like this. Hyunjin seemed so happy right now. Softly he grabbed Hyunjins hand and pulled him towards the big wheel. “You don't have a fear of heights, do you?”

“No I don't”, he mumbled softly. They had to wait a bit till they were at the beginning of the waiting line but it didn't bother Changbin as much as he thought. Of course with Minho, Seungmin or Jeongin he would have talked a lot more but he didn't feel uncomfortable standing next to Hyunjin. When they finally could go on the big wheel they were lucky enough to get one just for themselves. Hyunjin was sitting on the opposite side of him. It was already getting dark and the small colourful lights danced over Hyunjins face.

“You are staring?”, Hyunjin laughed with a smirk on his lips.

“You have something on your nose”, Changbin lied, avoiding meeting the younger one's eyes.

“If you say so”, Hyunjin giggled. He knew Changbin didn't tell the truth.

“Can you, can you maybe take a picture of me?”, Hyunjin asked after a moment. Now Changbin met his eyes again and started to smile softly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started taking pictures.

“I really hope that there will be some nice pictures, Binnie. It would be a shame if none of these pictures would come out good”, whined Hyunjin pouting for a second. For a second Changbin stopped with what he was doing and just admired the other one pouting.

“Have a little faith in me”, he then muttered, rolling his eyes and started to grin. He took three more pictures of Changbin. “Finished.”

“Thanks… Do you also want me to take some of you too?”, Hyunjin asked, taking the older one by surprise.

“I'm not that photogenic”, he muttered while he shook his head. Hyunjin gave him an offended look.

“You are joking, right?” Not waiting for an answer, he took Changbins phone and then looked at him. For a moment Changbin just stared back at the younger man but then with some hesitation he started posing. “And you said, you are not photogenic”, Hyunjin laughed, shaking his head. To Changbins surprise Hyunjin suddenly stood up and then sat down next to him. The whole gondle started shaking.

“Are you going crazy?”, Changbin muttered with big eyes. Laughing, Hyunjin held the phone up again.

“Let's take some selfies together.” While Changbin still needed to process what was happening, Hyunjin started to take pictures of him. After a moment Changbin also started to pose. Carefully he placed an arm around Hyunjins shoulder and pulled him closer. Hyunjin let out a surprised noise and his eyes grew big. Suddenly Changbin felt all warm from the inside and he couldn't hold back a smile. Hyunjin took a few more pitcure before they were down again and had to leave the big wheel. “Will you send me the photos later on?”, Hyunjin asked as soon as they stood on the street again. Changbin just nodded, looking around to find something they could do next. “I know what we could do next”, Hyunjin muttered while he started to walk.

About an hour later, the two just came out of a rollercoaster, Changbins stomach started to rumble. With a smile, which looked very teasing to Changbin, Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and gave him a look.

“There might be somebody that's hungry”, he joked with a big smile on his lips.

“Oh fuck off”, Changbin whined and tied to push Hyunjin a bit but the other one was fast enough to step out of the way.

“Come let's get something to eat”, Hyunjin suggested. Changbin let out a small sigh but then nodded with his hand on his stomach. He really was starting to get hungry.

“But let me buy the food this time, okay?”

“Sure, but I will decide where we eat”, Hyunjin giggled and started to walk. Changbin catched up with the younger one. The two walked side by side as Hyunjin looked for an interesting restaurant. “What about hot dogs?” Changbin nodded slightly and walked towards the food truck. His stomach started to rumble even more when he saw the food, which looked so good. Sadly they had to wait a while till they could order. When they finally had their hot dogs they looked for a more calmed down place to sit down and eat.

As they sat down Changbin moved closer to Hyunjin.

“I forgot my jacket. I didn't think it would get that cool”, he whispered as he was pressed against Hyunjins side. For a second the other one watched him with suspicious eyes.

"Yeah sure", Hyunjin then huffed which made Changbin just roll his eyes. In silence they ate their hot dogs, while Changbin was still pressed against the younger one. When Hyunjin had finished his hot dog he looked towards Changbin, who couldn't hold back a laugh when he saw that the blond man had some sauce on his bottom lip.

"Why are you laughing?", Hyunjin whined, bumping lightly into the other one. Instead of answering Hyunjin, Changbin grabbed a tissue and wiped the sauce away. With big eyes and red cheeks Hyunjin looked at him.

"Are you a baby that can't eat properly?", Changbin teased.

"Oh stop it Binnie!", he huffed. He tried to look angry but failed due to his flustered state. Of course Changbin did not miss the nickname but he kept quiet. In silence Changbin finished his hot dog.

"Do you want to go home? It's pretty late", Hyunjin whispered, stood up and held his hand out to Changbin who took it. Casually he rubbed his arm around Hyunjins fine shoulders and together they started walking towards the exit. The park was nearly empty, just a few couples were walking along with them or in other directions.

"Thank you for taking me here, Oppa. These little pictures are so cute", Changbin and Hyunjin heard a young woman say to a young looking man.

"Oh there must be a photo booth. Can we take some photos before we go?", the blond hair man asked, all excited, jumping up and down a little. Changbin felt all warm seeing the younger one like this. Again and again Hyunjin took him by surprise. He was so different from what Chanbin knew.

"If you want that", he muttered after a moment, feeling how a smile formed on his lips.

Enthusiastically Hyunjin pulled him towards the photo booth. It was a tiny booth and they nearly had no space.

"Hyung, you are too big. I have no space", Hyunjin whined while he slapped the other once packed biceps and shoulders. With a loud laugh Changbin flexed his arms and wiggled with his eyebrows.

"Oh come on, you like that." Hyunjin let out a huff and rolled his eyes.

"In your dreams", he muttered, still trying to make some space for himself.

"Come here", Changbin said without thinking and patted his thigh. For a moment Hyunjin stared down at him but then sat on his thigh. To make sure he was more stable, Changbin placed his hand on Hyunjins hip. He could feel the other one's eyes on him and could feel his ears getting warm but he tried brushing it off while activating the photo booth. They took many photos and in the end it was quite difficult to house only four of them. When they finally had decided which one they wanted, Hyunjin stood up and escaped the booth to look at the finished photos. Changbin on the other hand still sat in the booth staring into nothing. He felt strange. But he couldn't identify what that feeling was. He let out a little sigh, stood up too and left the photo booth. Hyunjinwas looking at the pictures and ripped them into two identical stripes. He was holding one of them out.

"Thanks", Changbin muttered, before he looked at them for a second and then placed them into his pocket. "Let's go now." With that they went towards the next train station, Changbin had a big chaos in his mind. He was kinda overwhelmed by what happened today. He did not expect to actually have fun going out with Hyunjin. But in the end it was all because of the tv show. If he was honest with himself it would be an absolute waste to just think they could become friends.

"I need to take another line", Hyunjin gets him out of his mind. "We will text, right?" Slowly Changbin nodded and waved the younger one goodbye as he stepped away.

VI

"But we had planned it for so long, Hyung", Changbin whined and started to pout. Minho tried to avoid his eyes and looked out of the window instead.

"I'm meeting someone", he muttered.

"And that can't wait until after this weekend? Please Hyung."

"Chanbin I know we planned it and you were excited", Minho said with a soft tone that Changbin didn't hear that often from him.

"Then why is this meeting so important that you cancel your short trip?"

"Because it's a date." Changbins eyes turned big.

"A date? Hyung!" Changbin was now all excited and got closer to the older man. He poked Minho in the side and smirked.

"I shouldn't have told you", Minho hissed but his ears were still red.

"Who is it?", Chanbin asked curiously.

"I'm not telling you." Minho crossed his arms in front of his chest. Chanbins smirk got only wider.

"Do I know them? Is it the person you talked about when we made the bet?"

"Oh shut up before I make you!" Changbin started to laugh at Minhos respond.

"So it is one or the other. Maybe even both. Very interesting." Minho let out a little sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Think what you wanna think, Changbin."

"I will… and Hyung." Minho just hummed and finally looked back at him. "I'm happy for you and I hope you date will work out." A small smile appeared on Minhos lips and a shy laugh escaped his mouth.

"Thanks." They ate in silence till Minho stopped and looked at the younger man again.

"Why don't you take Hyunjin with you?" That took Changbin by surprise and he started coughing.

"Are you crazy? Why would I do that?"

"Because there is only one big bed and it could be an amazing chance to make him fall for you."

"Hyung do you really think I could do that? Make him fall for me?" For a long moment Minho just looked at him.

"You have a very special charm, you are handsome and you are one of the kindest human beings I know." Changbin started to laugh and escaped Minhos glance and hid his face behind his hands.

"Wait, what do you mean with special charm?" Now Minho laughed loudly and tried to defend himself when Changbin attacked him.

"I will write him", Changbin announced after they sat down again. With a stunned look Minho stared at him, still breathing heavily after getting attacked by the younger one.

"Are you serious?" Unsure about it, Changbin nodded.

"It's actually a good idea, I think?"

"Then do it." With shaking hands Changbin grabbed hus phone and opened his chat with Hyunjin.

Changbin

Hey

Hyunjin

Oh the old man is writing me first this time

Changbin

Don't let me regret this

Hyunjin

Sorry ;)

Changbin

Do you want to go on a trip?

Hyunjin

What?

"Maybe that was not a good idea", Changbin whined, already getting anxious. Minho nearly rolled his eyes.

"It sounds like you care, Changbin", he muttered with a strange look on his face. As if he knew something more than Changbin himself did.

Changbin

Do you want to go on a trip?

Changbin

Minho and I planned a trip to the ocean but he can't go

Hyunjin

So I'm your second choice?

Hyunjin

I'm disappointed

Changbin went through his hair.

"I think I fucked it up", he laughed nervously.

Hyunjin

When and where?

Changbin

This weekend…

Changbin

Well tomorrow and I will drive us

Hyunjin

You can drive? Nice

Hyunjin

Alright. I guess we will start early in the morning?

"Hyung, I think I didn't fuck it up!", Changbin muttered. Then a big smile grew on his lips and his heart started to beat faster. His tummy felt all warm now. "He just agreed to it." He could hear a little laugh from Minho.

"You are so whipped." If stares could kill, Minho would be dead now.

Changbin

Yes I will be in front of your apartment at 7 a.m.

Changbin

You just need to send me your address

Hyunjin

I swear you just wanted my address.

Hyunjin

Sneaky you

Hyunjin

I will send you the address later on

With a happy smile Changbin turned off his phone and laid it on the table.

"He will send me the address later." Minho nodded lightly and with a soft smile on his face. Again Changbin felt like Minho knew more than even he did.

"Do you already know what you will do with your date?"

"It's a secret."

"Oh come on Hyung. Please tell me. I will find out sooner or later anyways." Minho nearly rolled his eyes but just let out a small huff.

"You are so annoying sometimes. You know that?" With a big pout Changbin was staring at the other man. A sigh escaped Minho's lips. "Maybe we will go to the amusement park or go eat something at the river. Maybe also karaoke? I don't know yet."

"Oh, those are some good ideas. If you still need a restaurant, Hyunjin and I once went to a cute little restaurant with amazing food." Minho's eyes lit up a little bit.

"You have to tell me where it is. Maybe we can go there." With a wide smile Changbin nodded.

"Sure."

VII

It was 10 past 7 in the morning and Changbin was standing with his car in front of the apartment complex where Hyunjin lived. Inpatient his fingers drummed against the steering-wheel. He already texted Hyunjin. Hyunjin tho let the older man wait. He grabbed his phone again and was ready to call Hyunjin, when the door to his passenger seat was opened.

"I'm sorry for being late. I overslept", Hyunjin apologised and closed the door behind him again. Changbin noticed that Hyunjins eyes were still small and it looked like he would fall asleep right away again. "But I got us a few snacks for the drive and also two cups of americano. I hope you like these." He placed his bag between his legs and handed Changbin one of the cups. Changbin was speechless but took the cup from the blond haired man.

"Thank you" He took a big sip and let out a small sigh of satisfaction.

"Alright let's go." Changbin started the car and got out of the parking space. Because it was still quite early there were not many people on the streets and they were soon on the highway. Hyunjin had made himself comfortable in the seat. He was looking outside the window.

"If you want, you could play some music", Changbin muttered and even though he said it very quietly, it sounded loud in the car. Slowly Hyunjin turned his head towards the older man.

"I can do that", he mumbled and connected his phone to the car. Precautionary, Changbin turned down the volume a bit. The next moment a song Changbin didn't know started to play. He lit the beat and started to drum against the wheel again.

"Wait, is this Chan Hyung?", he asked, surprised and a bit unsure whether his ears betrayed him.

"Yes, Hyung and Jisung actually. They make music together."

"They do? Wow, that's amazing. I wish I could do such a thing, too."

"If you want, I could ask whether you can come too the next time they meet to maybe sit by the side and listen to what they do?" For a moment Changbins stared at him before looking at the street again.

"You would do that?" Only out of the corner of his eyes could he see how Hyunjins started to smile.

"Of course. If it makes you happy, why not?"

"Thank you", was all Changbin could get over his lips. To say he was happy was an understatement.

During their ride they sing loudly to songs made by Day6 and Taylor Swift. Hyunjin sang along with Taehyungs “Sweet Night´s” and Changbin rapped along with some fast paced rap-song. He was really getting into it and Hyunjin hyping him up, made him just more competitive.

“Wow you are actually really good at it”, Hyunjins mumbled, hitting Changbins shoulder lightly.

“You sound so surprised”, the older man laughed.

“Sorry, Hyung.” Hyunjin started to giggle lightly. His face softened. "No really. You are good at it." They sang song after song, till Changbin stopped in front of a small house.

"You booked the whole house for the weekend?", Hyunjins asked surprised.

"My sister's best friends parents are the owners of this holiday house and we can sometimes book it for a small price", Changbin explained laughing. "Otherwise I couldn't afford that." When he looked at the blond man, he saw a little smile on Hyunjins lips. "Let's go inside." Hyunjin nodded slightly and followed the shorter one into the holiday house. They got out of their shoes and Changbin started to show everything to Hyunjin.

“It just has one bed but that's no problem to you, right?” Changbin tried to be as casual as possible but if he was honest, he was quite nervous. For a moment Hyunjin was staring at him with wide eyes.

“You want us to sleep in the same bed?” A small smirk appeared on Changbins lips.

“What? Is Hwang Hyunjin afraid he might fall for me when he sleeps in the same bed as me?”, Changbin teased the younger man and wiggled his eyebrows. Hyunjin on the other hand grimaced and looked at him with disbelief.

“I think you should be more concerned about that”, he nearly hissed, before he let his big bag fall down next to the bedside that was near the window. “And you wanted to sleep with Minho-ssi here? In one bed?” Was Hyunjin looking with suspicion in his eyes at him.

“We have been best friends since primary school when I was a new kid. We know each other's ugliest moments. Believe me there could never be something more than friendship”, Changbin explained, while he got out of his jacket. “And he has a date tomorrow.”

“Is that why he didn't come with you?” With a thin smile Changbin nodded and shook his shoulders. “Wait tomorrow? With whom?”

“He didn't want to tell but I know that he has a crush on this person for some time now and that I know them, why?” Fastly Hyunjin closed the distance between the two of them, and grabbed his arm.

“Because Jisung has a date tomorrow and didn't want to tell us who it is. Normally we are the first ones to know but he got all shy and didn't want to tell us anything.” It kinda made sense. Changbin still remembered the atmosphere when the eight of them met up.

“I'm honest with you. I also thought that maybe his date is Jisung. They would look cute together.” Now Hyunjin stared at him with a disgusted look. “Stop looking like that! Just because nobody likes you, doesn't mean other people can't go on dates and fall in love.” As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he made a mistake. Hyunjins eyes stopped sparkling for a second and his expression fell.

“I think I forgot something in the car. Can I get the key?” Without another word, Changbin gave him the key and watched him walk out.

“You are so stupid!”, Changbin hissed, hitting his own head and then bit his lip. He didn't even want to say such a thing. With a low sigh, he walked out of the bedroom and grabbed some soda that was in the fridge. When Hyunjin returned, he looked a bit more like before but Changbin could still sense Hyunjins hurt and he felt so dumb.

"Do you want a soda too?" He already opened the fridge and then held the soda towards Hyunjin. Carefully Hyunjin grabbed the soda and opened it.

"Thank you", he muttered with a tiny smile. "Did you plan anything?" Changbin let himself down on the sofa and then looked up to the younger man, who sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"I just wanted to relax a bit but you sound like you have something in mind, or am I wrong?", Changbin chuckled and took another sip. He saw how Hyunjins cheeks started to look like someone painted them pink.

"Well after you ask me to come along, I looked up what kind of things you can do here", Hyunjin muttered, playing with his soda and avoiding Changbins glance.

"Alright, then let's do whatever you want. Oh, we also need to visit the beach, but we need to do that in the evening. It's nicer then." Hyunjins eyes were big again and he looked all excited.

"We absolutely need to go there, too. But what do you think about breakfast first?" Right after Hyunjin finished his question, Changbins stomach started growling. For a second they stared at each other with big eyes before they burst into laughter. Hyunjin nearly fell off his chair but catched himself at the last second.

“Breakfast sounds good to me. I know a nice café, we could go to”, Changbin said, still a bit out of breath. When he looked at the other, he saw Hyunjin smiling again and it made him more happy than he would admit.

After they both finished their sodas they started to get ready, left the house and Changbin led them to a small café close to the ocean but a bit more up. It was quite full already.

“Maybe you should find us a nice table.”

“Is outside also alright?”, Hyunjin asked, gesturing towards the terrace. Changbin started nodding.

“Sure. What do you want?” Hyunjin was already walking away but turned around again.

“Iced americano with caramel syrup and something sweet or so.” Changbin was watching Hyunjin walk away before he turned around and walked towards the bar. Now he regretted telling Hyunjin to find them a table. There was so much delicious looking food, he did not know what to buy. Luckily he had some time to think about it. In the end he bought something sweet for both of them and coffee and started to search for Hyunjin. The younger man had chosen a table on the terrace.

When he walked closer, he saw that someone was talking to Hyunjin. Maybe he just imagined it but Hyunjin looked more than uncomfortable.

“Next time you are going to order. If we keep up like this I'm gonna be poor in no time”, he started to rumble out loud and placed the tray down. Only now he looked up again and stared at the woman who had been talking to Hyunjin. She was probably two or three years younger than himself.

“Next time I will pay, Binnie. But thanks”, Hyunjin said with a smile and placed his hand on Changbin. Changbin felt his cheeks getting hot by such a simple action. He probably had a stupid wide smile painted on his lips but he couldnt change that. Slowly he looked towards the woman again.

“And you are?” he asked sharply, his smile had disappeared. With big eyes she looked at him before she bowed at them and stumbled backwards.

“I'm sorry, I had mistaken you for someone else I know”, she stuttered, before she disappeared into the café. For a moment, both of them didn't say a thing, then Hyunjin let out a quivering sigh and squeezed Changbins hand.

“Thank god you arrived at the right moment. She asked whether I was alone or not and wanted my phone number”, Hyunjin explained, while he grabbed the americano and took a big sip.

“Sounds like I just came in time”, Changbin muttered, finally relaxing again.

“You know, you were quite scary, all serious and not smiling.” Changbin looked up from his drink and stared at Hyunjin.

“Well I'm not often like that.” Suddenly the younger man started to giggle, which took Changbin by surprise.

“You know, you are a bit like a chihuahua.” Changbin let out an offended noise.

“Excuse you?”

“Well it's true, isn't it? You are short and look cute but if you want, you could bite someone's finger off.”

“You think I'm cute?” At that Hyunjin rolled his eyes and looked at him in annoyance.

“Seriously that's all you hear?”

“I also heard the rest. I just decided to ignore that because I didn't want to give you the satisfaction”, Changbin muttered and then stuck out his tongue to Hyunjin. “And now let's eat. I'm hungry.” Hyunjins lips were curled up into a smile.

“Alright, Sir!”

VIII

They had walked around the whole day. Hyunjin wanted to visit a butterfly house which was next to a semi big botanical garden. They spent nearly the whole day in it but Changbin wasn't sad about it. He enjoyed how much fun Hyunjin had, how often he had a big ass smile on his lips and that sparkle in his eyes.

Finally Hyunjin had enough. Changbin let out a soft sigh. Even though he enjoyed their day, the walking had tired him out.

Suddenly Hyunjin stood in front of the shorter man.

“What will we do now?”, he asked with tired but happy looking eyes.

“Do you still want to watch the sunset? We could grab something to eat and then find a nice place to eat. What do you think?”

“Can we have Tteokbokki and Gimbap?” Changbin found it adorable how Hyunjin had asked him in a higher pitched voice. He couldn’t hold back his laugh. “Hey! Don’t laugh!”, the younger man pouted, shoving Changbin backwards but Changbin couldn’t stop laughing.

“Alright, alright! Sounds like a good idea”, he explained out of break, one hand in his hips.

Quite fastly they found a food truck that smelled Tteokbokki, Gimbap and a lot more amazing smelling food. For a second, just for a second both Hyunjin and Changbin thought about ordering something else but then they stood by their first idea and ordered the food alongside some beer. While they waited till the old lady cooked their food, Hyunjin, absolutely tired, started to lean against the older one. Well lean was an understatement. He was nearly laying completely on him. Hyunjin held his phone in a way Changbin could watch as well. The older one was softly patting Hyunjins back. Both of them didn’t even notice what they were doing until the old lady called them as she had finished their order. For a moment they frozed in their actions but then stepped back. With red cheeks and burning ears he grabbed the bag, bowed to the old lady and walked away. Hyunjin ran after him. They walked in silence for a while.

“I know that there is a lighthouse a bit further away from the main beach. It’s also beautiful and hopefully not as crowded”, Changbin started to explain and pointed at the lighthouse that was visible at the end of the town.

“What do you think? We could eat there.” Hyunjin didn’t need to think about it much. He just nodded and watched a happy smile appear on Changbins lips.

Within a few minutes they stood in front of the lighthouse and Changbin was right. They still had an amazing few and there were no other people with them. Hyunjin found them the, like he called it, perfect place. Changbin sat down next to him and handed Hyunjin the bag. While the younger one placed the food between them, Changbin opened a can of beer for each of them.

“You know I’m happy you asked me to come with you. It’s been so long since I went to the ocean”, mumbled Hyunjin between two bits. “I think the last time was when I was still in primary school and my parents surprised me with a trip to Busan for my birthday.”

“Jeongin is from Busan, did you know? His family moved when he was five.”

“Oh lucky him. Being born in such a beautiful city. Even though I was young, I still fell in love with the city”, Hyunjin told him with a soft smile. Suddenly Changbin felt all warm, watching Hyunjins smile.

"You definitely need to show me the city."

"Does that mean the next time I'm your first choice for going on a trip?"

"If you want to go of course", Changbin muttered with a shy smile on his lips. With a wide smile, Hyunjin took a sip of his beer.

"I will hunt you, should we not go there together." Changbin snorted with laughter and shook his head.

"Oh yeah? And how will you do that?"

"Don't underestimate me, Hyung. I will get you when you don't think about it", Hyunjin smiled a sly smile.

"Yeah of course Hyunjinnie."

After that they ate in silence and drank their beer. With a fascinated smile the younger one of the two watched the sunset. He took plenty of pictures and maybe, just maybe he also took a few of Changbin who was laying on one hand behind him.

When the sun was down it got surprisingly colder and the two young men decided to walk home.

"I should have taken my jacket with me. I didn't expect it to get this cold", Hyunjin whined, rubbing his arms with his hands. Without saying anything, Changbin got closer and pulled Hyunjin to him. For a moment Hyunjin freezed but then he slowly placed his one arm over Changbins shoulders.

"You are too tall", the shorter man grumbled, showing Hyunjin his pout.

"I'm not too tall, you are just too short", Hyunjin replied laughing.

"You take that back!"

"I will absolutely not do that, shorty."

"You should run", Changbin muttered then and a sly smile appeared on his mouth. And Hyunjin started running.

"You are crazy, Hyung", he screamed but couldn't hold back his laugh as he ran in the direction of their holiday house.

"You should run faster. I'm right behind you", Changbin shouts. That was a lie but Hyunjin didn't need to know that.

"Got you", Changbin exhaled against Hyunjins neck, hugging the younger man from behind.

"Only because you have the key to the house and I couldn't enter", Hyunjin hissed back, but without any bite. Changbin behind him was warm and made Hyunjin feel strangely lightheaded.

"You can tell yourself that Jinnie." Hyunjin snorted and rolled his eyes, escaping Changbins hug.

"Can you open the door? It's cold, Hyung."

"Of course." Changbin fished the key out of his pocket and opened the door.

In silence they started to work on their bedtime routine. While Hyunjin cleaned his face, Changbin brushed his teeths and watched the younger one through the mirror in front of them.

“Can you give me the small towel?”, Hyunjin asked with his eyes closed and one extended hand.

“The red one?”

“Yes, the red one.”

“There you go”, Changbin muttered and handed the towel out. Hyunjin mumbled something against the towel, which Changbin could’t understand, but assumed was a thank you. For a second he debated whether he should wait for Hyunjin to finish his routine or already go to their bedroom. He didn't want to be rude but saying even though he finished his routine would also be awkward.

“You can already go. You don't have to wait for me”, Hyunjin whispered as if he read the other one's mind and knew what he was thinking about. At that Changbin just nodded and walked towards their shared bedroom. He got under the blanket and let out a small sigh. Finally feeling the soft bed under him after such a long day felt amazing. He texted Minho a bit while waiting for Hyunjin to come out of the bathroom.

His eyes felt heavy when Hyunjin finally appeared and let himself fall next to Changbin onto the bed.

“I thought you would already be asleep”, he whispered, getting under the covers.

“Nah, I texted with Minho-Hyung. He still is very closed up about his date.”

“Do you still think Jisung is his date?”

“I think so. It would make sense to me”, Changbin explained while turning his head so he could face Hyunjin. Slowly Hyunjin nodded.

“Jisung is very dear to me. We didn't get along at first and fought quite a lot but he is one of my best friends now. Maybe it doesn't seem this way but he went through some shit in his life. I just don't want him to get hurt, you know.”

“Should they really be each other's dates, I can assure you that Minho has no bad intentions. He may seem cold at first but he is one of the most caring human beings I have met so far. I would give that man the shirt off my back.” Again, Hyunjin nodded and a tiny smile appeared on his lips.

“I'm sorry for saying such hurtful things to you earlier. It was not fair of me to say nobody would date you. That's not true.”

“Oh and you know this from where?”, the younger one teased. Changbin could feel his cheeks getting warm and he was happy that it was already too dark in the room to see anything.

“I think I'll take it back.”

“No! I'm sorry, Hyung.” A hand was placed softly on Changbins arm. “And thank you for apologising. I'm also sorry for judging even though I don't know Minho-ssi well enough.”

"You are lucky he didn't hear it. He would have fed you tissues." At that, Hyunjin started to laugh.

“Okay but why could I see him doing that?” With an amused smile Changbin stared back at the other man. He didn't know where it came from but he felt this strange warmth within his body.

“Because he would. As a joke of course. He wouldn't apologise but he would treat you with dinner.”

“To be honest that's kinda cute.”

“It is, but don't tell him that.”

“I would never”, Hyunjin laughed and shook his head lightly.

Changbin returned his smile.

A loud yawn escaped Hyunjin's lips and he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Tired? Then let's sleep”, Changbin whispered.

“Good night.”

“You too.”

Hyunjin let his hand fall from Changbins arm and snuggled further under his blanket. The older one let out a slight sigh, placed his phone down on the nightstand and closed his eyes too.

Changbin had nearly fallen asleep when he suddenly felt Hyunjins warm body against his side.

“Hyunjin?”, he muttered quietly but got now answer. All he got was a constant breath against neck. For a second Changbin closed his eyes and debated what he should do. Hyunjin felt warm at his side and when he wrapped an arm around Changbins middle Changbin decided to ignore all his concerns. Slowly he pulled Hyunjin closer and wrapped him into his arms.

Hyunjin was right, Changbin himself should have been more concerned to share a bed with the other man. It was definitely not good for his heart. He was screwed.

IX

Hyunjin was still in the bedroom, while Changbin was preparing some food he bought earlier today when Hyunjin was still having his beautysleep. With his hands full, he walked out into the garden behind the little house. A few hours ago he opened the hot tub and started it.

He placed the plate on the small table next to the hot tub. In a bucket full of ice water were some soju Hyunjin had found in the basement and soda.

Hyunjin stepped out of the back door, a soft looking bathrobe was wrapped around his body and he had tied his hair back loosely. Changbin couldn't deny that the other man looked absolutely gorgeous and he also couldn't stop staring at him.

"You can already get into the tub, if you want. I will just change into my swimming trunks", Changbin muttered when Hyunjin finally stopped in front of him.

"Is everything outside already?", Hyunjin asked, looking around.

"Yes you can get into the hot water."

"You are too good for me, Hyung", Hyunjin whispered with a soft smile and opened his bathrobe slowly. Before Changbin could see much more, he escaped and walked with fast steps towards the holiday house. When he closed the bedroom door behind himself he let out a deep breath. He felt all warm suddenly. He stood there for a moment just staring against the wall but he had to change into his shorts. For a while he looked at himself in the mirror. Usually he would call himself quite confident. He liked his body but suddenly something felt off when he looked into the mirror. Some stupid part of his brain wanted to look good for Hyunjin but told him he wasn´t enough. Slowly he pulled his Shirt over his head again and then walked out into the garden.

He found Hyunjin already sitting in the water.

"What took you so long?", he asked when he saw Changbin approaching. But all Changbin could do was to shrug his shoulders. Silently he entered the tub and couldn't hold back the satisfied sigh that left his mouth. For a moment he closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Changbin opened his eyes again and looked at the younger man.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?" Maybe he did lie a bit but Hyunjin didn't need to know that. For a second Hyunjin looked at him, one eyebrow raised but then he nodded slowly and looked at the trees instead. Changbin was happy, Hyunjin didn't ask any further questions. He wasn't sure whether he could have continued with his lie.

"You said you bought some fruits?", remembered the younger man after a while. Softly Changbin nodded and grabbed the strawberries he had bought. He hold the small bowl towards Hyunjin so that he could choose which one he wanted. After eating the first one Hyunjin started to smile softly. It was a smile that made Changbin feel warm from the inside.

"Are they good?" When the younger man nodded enthusiastically Changbin started to laugh and nearly cooed. Hyunjin just looked adorable.

When Hyunjin grabbed one more strawberry, a smirk appeared on Changbins lips. He took hold of Hyunjins wrist and stole the strawberry.

"Hyung!", whined Hyunjin and got closer to get one more strawberry but Changbin held them out of Hyunjin's reach.

"You are right. They are really good", he muttered. When Hyunjin looked at him with a pout, a soft laugh escaped his lips and he held a strawberry in front of the younger man. For a moment Hyunjin waited as if to check whether Changbin would pull the strawberry away. When he did not, Hyunjin carefully ate it out of Changbin's hand.

They were so close now and Changbin wondered when that happened. Hyunjin was looking at him with big eyes and a soft smile. After a moment he felt Hyunjins slim fingers on his thigh. His thumb rubbed softly up and down Changbin's skin. Changbin let out a shaky breath and locked eyes with the younger man.

"Hyunjin", Changbin whispered, pulled him slowly closer and wrapped an arm around his body. For a second his eyes wandered lower. "Can I kiss you?" Hyunjin stared back at him and got even closer.

“Please”, whispered the younger man. Changbin couldn't say who made the final move but he didn't really care either. Hyunjins lips were as full as he had imagined them but they felt softer than he would have guessed. Slowly he placed one hand lightly on Hyunjins bag and started to carry his skin while he felt how the younger man played with his longer strands in the back of his neck that had already gotten wet. For a moment they separate but just to take a breath. Changbin let out a little huff when their lips met again and if possible he pulled Hyunjin even closer. He couldn't really describe the feelings he felt right now but he kinda liked them. They made him feel strangely comfortable.

Suddenly a loud sound interrupts them. It took a moment, but then Hyunjin pulled away, chest raising and lowering fastly. For a moment they met eyes and Changbin would lie if he said Hyunjin wasn't a second away from kissing him again but then he pulled away even further, drying off his hands to grab his phone.

“I'm sorry”, he muttered, stopping the alarm. “I made an alarm so we could call Jisung and see whether Minho is his date.” Changbin stared at him, not really understanding what the younger man had told him. He was still feeling Hyunjins lips on his. “I will call Jisung now, alright Hyung?” Changbin felt Hyunjins hand on his shoulder and finally he seemed to come back to the present. He nodded softly, looking up to the younger who looked down at his phone. A moment later, Changbin could hear Jisungs voice through the phone.

“Hyunjin?”

“Good to hear you. I just wanted to know how your date is going?” Changbin heard Jisung laughing.

“That is why you are calling? Are you bored on your short trip?” Nearly Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh.

“It's quite good actually”, defended Hyunjin and started to pout. “Will your date say hello too?”

“He will absolutely not do that.” Slowly Changbin grabbed his phone and started to search for Minho's number. “So that's why you called.” A ringtone went off. For a second Hyunjin looked confused at his phone but when he met Changbins glance he understood.

“Who is that?”, Jisung asked, clearly towards the unknown date that was with him.

“I'm gonna kill you the next time we meet, Changbin.” Now Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh anymore.

“I'm sorry, Hyung”, he said, still laughing.

“Yeah sure.” There was a short silence. “Just so you know, Jisung stopped working. I will take care of him.” And with that the phone call ended. Surprised, both men looked at each other before starting to laugh again.

“I will need to write Jisung later on so that everything is okay.”

“Minho will take care of him”, muttered Changbin with a warm smile. Slowly Hyunjin nodded and let out a soft sigh.

“I hope so.”

Suddenly there was a strange silence. Changbin met eyes with the younger man and didn't know what to say. Hyunjin was still so close, still on his lap, his legs next to his own. It seemed like Hyunjin didn't even notice he was still playing with Changbins hair.

“Do you still want a strawberry?”, Changbin muttered, holding up a strawberry to cut through the strange silence. Hyunjin took the strawberry from Changbin’s hand and slid down from the older man's lap. But he was still very close to Changbin.

“Thank you”, he whispered with a soft smile on his lips. All Changbin could do was to nod softly.

X

The next time Changbin met Minho was for their dance practice. When he walked into their practice room he saw the older man already warming up. Minho met his gaze through the mirror but looked away right after and somehow Changbin knew the older man was still mad at him. Slowly Changbin walked further in and started to warm up as well. They hadn't talked once and Changbin started to feel worse with every second.

Soon after Seungmins and Jeongins arrival they started to practise. He felt the glances of the two youngerest from time to time on his back when Minho scrolled him for something or made them redo a part of the choreo they had already mastered.

“If you dont to it right the next time, Changbin, I will kick you out I swear”, Minho hissed, staring at the younger man through half closed eyes. Out of breath Changbin stood up and met Minho´s glance.

“Hyung, please forgive me”, he muttered. “It was Hyunjins idea to call and not mine. Please don't be mad at me.” He bowed deep and then looked with pout on his face at Minho. The older man looked at him for a moment and then let out a sigh.

“You should apologise to Jisung and not me”, he muttered.

“Jisung? He was your date, Hyung?”, asked Jeongin, surprised and with big, wide eyes.

“I knew it”, laughed Seungmin at the same time.

“Look what you did!”, Minho hissed with red cheeks and even redder ears. “They will never let it go.” Changbin walked closer to his Hyung.

“They would have got the info sooner or later, Hyung.” Again Minho let out a deep breath but he knew Changbin was right and so he nodded softly. “How did it go?” If Changbin thought Minho was already red, he got even redder now.

“It was good.”

“Just good? Hyung we need more details”, Jeongin whined.

“What did you do? Where did you go?”

“I picked up Jisung and together we walked to the restaurant Changbin recommended”, explained Minho and a soft smile appeared on his lips. “Then we started to walk around. Talking about so much and it was comfortable. We stopped at a convenience store and ate ice cream.” Changbin started to smile. It sounded like Minho's date went well, when it lasted so long. “Then you and Hyunjin called and Jisung started to panic.”

“I felt bad for him. We didn't want to make Jisung feel bad.”

“You were just so nosy”, huffed the older man and rolled his eyes. “But lucky you I could calm Jisung.” Minho went through his hair. “We went home and had hot chocolate.”

“And?”, Jeongin asked.

“Maybe we held hands on the way to my flat.”

“And?”, questioned Seungmin.

“We cuddled on my sofa after drinking the hot chocolate.”

“And?”, digged Changbin deeper, receiving a bugged glance from Minho.

“Maybe we cuddled for hours and fell asleep.” His ears were all red again.

“Sounds like you had a great date, Hyung”, giggled Changbin with a wide smile.

“Oh shut it, Changbin!” But Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh.

“Let's get back to work”, exclaimed Minho and turned towards the stereo.

“I'm happy your date went well, Hyung”, said Changbin and he really meant it. For a moment he thought MInho would ignore him but when he started the music and walked up to them he muttered a soft thank you.

Later, when their practice was nearly over the studio door suddenly opened. Changbin stopped in his motion when he saw who had just slipped through the door. Jisung had a big smile on his face as he waved Minho, who had stopped in his motion and started to smile lightly.

“I guess practice is over”, Jeongin laughed and started to hide behind Seungmin as Minho attacked him but soon Minho let go of Jeongin. Instead he walked over to Jisung and greeted him. He looked at the two lovebirds and started to smile.

“Minho-ssi took good care of Seungie”, whispered Hyunjin right next to Changbin who hadn't even noticed the younger man getting closer. Slowly he looked at the other man.

“Yeah he did”, he replied and then shoved his hands into his pockets. “What are you doing here?” For a second it seemed to Changbin as if Hyunjin was sad but then an amused smile appeared on his lip.

“Jisung wanted to walk home with Minho-ssi but was too shy to come here all alone.” Changbin started to pout and looked up to Hyunjin.

“What? Does that mean you are not here because of me?”, he said with a huff and crossed his arms before his chest. A loud laugh escaped Hyunjins mouth and he leaned a bit forward so Changbin held him out of fear he would fall.

“Sucks being the second choice, doesn't it?” Changbin didn't know what to reply, so he kept silent. Instead he watched how Minho packed his bag and then waved at everyone before leaving together with Jisung.

“They are disgustingly cute, aren't they?”, Jeongin muttered as he shook his head. With a soft laugh Changbin nodded and then walked towards his bag. Only when he turned around he noticed that Hyunjin had followed him. For a moment the younger man kept silent, playing with his rings on his fingers.

“Are you free now?” A wide smile appeared on Changbins lips as he raised one eyebrow.

“Why? Does Hyunjinnie want to go on a date?” Immediately Hyunjins cheeks got redder and CHangbin liked how the younger one looked. Softly he rubbed one of Hyunjins cheeks and started to laugh when the other tried to slap his hand. “Did you have an idea where we could go?” Hyunjin looked dumbfounded and then shook his head. Changbin nearly wanted to teased him for this too but then held back because he didn't want Hyunjin to feel bad. Changbin shouldered his bag and started to walk, pulling Hyunjin with him. He waved Seungmin and Jeongin and opened the door for Hyunjin and himself.

“I know a place we could go to”, he informed the other one when they exited the studio complex.

Soon they stopped in front of the bubble tea shop with the gras wall.

“It looks so cute. It would be amazing to take pictures in front of the wall”, muttered Hyunjin next to Changbin, as they walked in. Changbin already knew what he would get but it seemed that Hyunjin was looking at the menu and didn't know what to get.

“You can order already”, Hyunjin muttered, his eyes still on the menu. As Changbin walked up to the counter, a young woman around their age greeted him with a soft smile. Fastly he ordered and stepped aside so Hyunjin could order as well. While their orders were made, they talked about their day. Mostly Hyunjin while Changbin just listened to him and sometimes nodded to show the younger man he was still listening.

When their orders were ready, Hyunjin walked up to the counter and took the tea. When he stopped in front of Changbin he looked somehow changed and held the tea out to him.

“Let's go”, he muttered, grabbed Changbins hand and pulled him out. For a moment, Changbin stared confused at the taller man.

“I guess you charmed that girl just by your looks”, muttered Hyunjin after a moment which made Changbin look surprised at him.

“What?”

“She wrote down her number on your cup.” And it was true. When Changbin checked his cup a number was written on it.

“Well I will definitely not text her. I don't even know her”, Changbin explained immediately. He was not sure whether he had just imagined it but it seemed that Hyunjin let out a deep breath and relaxed a bit. “But also is it so impossible that someone would like me just by my looks?”, asked Changbin, thinking about the comment Hyunjin made a little earlier.

“Of course not. You are good looking but just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they can't be an absolute asshole.” Changbin smiled softly at the compliment Hyunjin just made and didn't even realise it.

“You are right.” He took the last sip out of his cup and threw it away immediately. He met Hyunjins eyes with a smile and squeezed his hand softly.

XI

The next day Changbin was sitting together with Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin in the university refectory talking about an assignment when Seungmins phone made a sound. The younger man checked it and started to smile. Changbin raised one eyebrow, staring at Seungmin who absolutely ignored it.

“Before I forget”, muttered Seungmin instead, looking between the three men. “Chan-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung are going to perform in a pub on friday and Chan-Hyung asked me whether I would want to watch. Do you want to come too?” He was talking more to Changbin and Jeongin than to Minho and Changbin assumed that the older man already knew about this through Jisung.

“I'm already going. Jisung invited me”, Minho explained with cheeks that were slowly getting redder and redder.

“Nawww his Jisungie had invited him”, laughed Jeongin. Minho pointed at the youngest of the four.

“Be careful in your sleep.”

“I'm sorry hyung”, begged Jeongin with a big pout and even bigger eyes. For a moment Minho stared at him seriously but then a light smile appeared on his lips.

“Wait until you like someone. You will get everything back, Innie.” Jeongin was still smiling but it had faded a bit. He knew Minho wasn't joking.

“Let's hope that will happen very soon. I want to see it too”, laughed Seungmin, receiving a powerful thwack and a scandalised sound from Jeongin. Changbin started to laugh over their bickering.

“Sometimes they act like an old couple”, he muttered towards Minho who had a smirk on his face and nodded when he heard Changbins words.

“I will write Chan-Hyung and tell him you will come along”, explained Seungmin, already texting the older man. Not much later they all separated.

On his way to his next lecture he texted Hyunjin, asking whether the younger man would be there as well on friday. Surprisingly fast Hyunjin answers him with a yes. For a while Changbin and Hyunjin text and for the first time since he started studying he is sad when his professor walks in. He texted Hyunjin once more before placing his phone into his pocket. He tried his best but in the end he couldn't really follow whatever his professor was talking about. His mind was still full of Hyunjin.

XII

Changbin was checking himself in the mirror one last time. His legs were wrapped into slim fitting leather pants and he was wearing a black shirt tucked into his pants. He had borrowed some jewellery from Minho which made his outfit perfect. At least for him. He felt confident in it and didn't even let his mind wander back to remember who he felt when he was standing in front of the mirror last weekend.

He took a deep breath, grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and left his flat. Jeongin was waiting for him outside his flat and together they walked to the pub Chan and Jisung would perform. Earlier that day Minho and Seungmin had texted them separately that they would already be in the pub and would meet them there. After Seungmins text, Changbin was pretty sure Seungmin and Chan were a thing or at least were on their way to it. He had that feeling since they all met at Minho. He would need to watch the two more closely this evening.

Soon they were standing in front of the pub and luckily it was not as crowded yet so they were in rather quickly.

"I will text Seungmin-Hyung", said Jeongin over the loud music and pulled out his phone. Changbin kept looking around in the pub. Chan and Jisung had still half an hour till their performance and it was surprisingly empty. Changbin hoped that a lot more people would come to see the two men perform. When he felt Jeongins hand on his shoulder he turned his head back to the younger man and raised one eyebrow. But Jeongin just pointed towards the other end of the room where, next to the bar, was standing Seungmin in the door towards the private area obviously searching for them. Now that Jeongin had Changbin`s attention he started to walk towards Seungmin. Changbin followed with a little bit of delay.

When Seungmin finally spotted them, the smile on his lips grew into a bigger smile.

“Come in”, Seungmin said over the loud music. “You are the last one to arrive. The others have already arrived.” Behind himself Changbin closed the door and immediately it was quieter. Changbin let out a little sigh.

“In the beginning, the owner didn't want anyone other than Chan-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung in the private area but somehow Chan-Hyung changed the owners mind”, Seungmin explained as they walked up some stairs. He opened a door to their right and Changbin could hear them before he saw them. A big smile appeared on his lips when he heard Minho shout something.

“Seems like we are completed”, said Chan out loud when he saw Changbin and Jeongin appeared behind Seungmin. As Changbin closed the door behind him Seungmin let himself fall onto the sofa right next to Chan, who was wrapping an arm around the younger man's shoulder. Changbin waved at all of them. When his eyes landed on Hyunjin he stopped for a moment. Just a small little moment so he could take everything in as fast as he could. Then he met eyes with Hyunjin and it felt like his heart skipped a beat. He would have laughed but everyone would have thought he had lost it so he forced that nervous laugh down. When he sat down next to Hyunjin he could still feel Hyunjins glance on him.

“You look really handsome”, whispered Hyunjin after a moment of silence between them. While the others didn't seem to hear what Hyunjin had said, Changbin had heard him loud and clear and he was feeling his cheeks getting warmer with every second. He leaned a little bit closer and met Hyunjins eyes again.

“Says the one that looks absolutely stunning.” A clear laugh escaped Hyunjins lips as he pressed his eyes together and shook his head. A moment later the younger softly hid Changbin against his shoulder.

“You idiot”, Hyunjin muttered but still a smile was on his face now and Changbin chuckled at the sight of Hyunjin.

Changbin turned his attention towards his friends, watching them talk and joke around. He let out a low sigh and sank into the sofa even deeper. He felt strangely calm and safe surrounded by all of his close friends and the people who could soon become his close friends too.

When the pub owner came in half an hour later to tell Chan and Jisung they should get ready, Changbin didn't even want to stand up. He wanted to stay right there next to Hyunjin on that dark brown comfortable sofa. But when the other stood up he did the same, walking right behind Hyunjin. When they entered the open pub area Changbin noticed that it had gotten way more crowded. They wished Chan and Jisung good luck and they tried to find a good spot. He could feel Jeongins hand on his shoulder the moment he took hold of Hyunjins upper arm to not lose him and the others. They walked through the crowd till they found a place where they could see rather good.

When Chan and Jisung entered the stage, Changbin was surprised how different they seemed.

“Hey everyone!”, shouted Chan into his mic with a wide smile and the crowd started to cheer.

“I am J.One”, said Jisung.

“I am CB97 and we are 2racha. Let's have some fun!” Once again the crowd started to cheer and clap for the two young men. Changbin was getting excited. He wanted to know more of the songs the two created. And they didn't disappoint. Their voices were so unique and still fitted together.

“Damn they are so good. They are even better live”, muttered Changbin, surprised when Hyunjin next to him leaned in and nodded.

“They are”, he said. Hyunjin kept close and soon Changbin noticed how two arms wrapped around his bicep. With his free hand, met Hyunjins that held him. A wide smile appeared on his lips as he continued watching.

When Chan and Jisung left the stage after over half an hour, Changbin and the other five men slowly walked over towards the bar where the two performers stood. They had gotten some drinks from the pub owner and were talking to him. Seungmin was the first to reach the two and with a big smile he started to hug Chan.

“You were so good”, stated Jeongin.

“Thanks”, said Jisung, his eyes wandering towards Minho, who was right behind Changbin. From the corner of his eye he noticed as Minho softly smiled at Jisung and gave him a nod. And it seemed that when Changbin thought it couldn't get any bigger, Jisungs smile grew even more.

“You were amazing! I'm kinda jealous”, Changbin joked, leaning against the bar. Suddenly he felt Jisungs hands on his shoulders.

“You could do it too.”

“What?”

“Oh right! I nearly forgot to ask you”, laughed Chan. Changbin didn't understand anything. “Do you want to tag along the next time we meet to produce?”

“You would let me?” To say Changbin was surprised was an understatement.

“Of course. Hyunjin showed us some of the music you made and we think it's good.”

“Really good!”, Jisung commented with an enthusiastic nod that made everyone laugh. For a moment he met eyes with Hyunjin. He tried to say thank you without words but he wasn't sure whether Hyunjin had understood that.

“Thanks. And of course I will tag along.”

“Good, good”, sighed Chan and nodded multiple times. “We should celebrate this. First round on me.”

Some time later, Changbin had lost track of time, he found himself dancing on the rather small dancefloor. Some slower song was playing and Hyunjin was leaning against him, his arms wrapped around Changbins neck.

“Thanks for playing some of the tracks I had sent you to Chan-Hyung and Jisung”, he whispered softly.

“No problem”, mumbled Hyunjin against his shoulder.

“Are you tired?”

“A bit.”

“Let's get you home.”

“Nooooooo”, the younger man whined, clinging on Changbin. “Don't want to go. Want another drink.”

“I think you had enough, Jinnie.” It seemed as if Hyunjin wanted to protest against it but then he let out a deep sigh and nodded against Changbins shoulder. Changbin pushed Hyunjin away softly but kept holding off his hands. On his way out he said goodbye to Jeongin, Felix. Minho and Jisung had already left, saying they wanted to take a walk and Seungmin and Chan were busy sharing soft kisses.

"Piggyback?", asked Hyunjin as soon as they were outside. He looked at Changbin with a big pout on his lips and wide eyes. Changbins lips escaped a small laugh as he nodded.

"Come here, Jinnie", he muttered, turning his back to Hyunjin.

"Hyung is the best." With Hyunjin on his back he started to walk. Only a few minutes later he remembered that he didn't know where Hyunjin lived.

“Where do you live?”, he asked as he stopped in his tracks and turned his head slightly towards the younger man but he was met with silence. Changbin let out a small sigh and started to walk towards his own home. It was a struggle to open his door without letting Hyunjin fall off his back but somehow he got in. Softly, he placed Hyunjin on his sofa.

“Hyunjin please wake up?” Slowly, Hyunjin opened his eyes and looked at him.

“Want sleep”, the younger man muttered, leaning fully against Changbin, who was surprised by the sudden weight and nearly lost his balance. He brushed through Hyunjins hair and hummed.

“Of course, but let's get you out of your outdoor clothes first and get you something to drink.” With some delay Hyunjin nodded as an answer and started to get out of his shoes. In the meantime Changbin grabbed a glass of water and grabbed some more comfortable clothes for Hyunjin. When he returned, Hyunjin was out of his shoes and socks. “You can change into these and drink some of the water. I will get the bed ready for you and also change.” He placed the glass and the clothes on the side table and walked into his bedroom. There he changed into his sleeping clothes and took his jewellery off. In his bathroom he grabbed some makeup remover and walked back into his living area. In the meantime Hyunjin had changed into Changbins clothes and emptied the glass of water. When he stood up, slightly swaying, Changbin noticed that the pants were a bit too short but the hoodie was a little too big even though Hyunjin was a lot taller than him.

Changbin closed the distance between them and took hold of Hyunijins hands. Then he carefully whipped off the make up from the younger one's eyes.

“Thank you”, he heard him mutter under his breath.

“Let's get you to bed.” When Hyunjin didn't answer, Changbin pulled him towards his bedroom and pointed towards his bed. “You can sleep here. I will take the sofa.” He was already on his way to walk out again when he suddenly felt Hyunjins arms wrap around his torso.

“Don't go, Hyung”, Hyunjin whispered. “Want you close. Want to cuddle with you. Want your warmth.” Changbin held his breath for a second. His heart was beating fast against chest and he could feel the jittery in his fingertips. He was not made to survive such words.

He turned around slowly, carried Hyunjins cheek for a moment and then nodded, because how could he deny such a request.

“Let's go to bed”, he mumbled once more, pushing Hyunjin carefully towards his bed till he fell on it. Changbin helped the younger man to get comfortable before he himself got under the blanket. And when he turned his head towards Hyunjin he was met with his lips. It came so suddenly, so fast and felt like a feather on his lips that he nearly missed the feeling of Hyunjins lips. When Hyunjin broke off their kiss he didn't pull away but stayed close, hugging Changbin tightly around his waist. “Good night”, whispered Changbin after a few moments of silence and pulled Hyunjin closer.

XIII

When Changbin woke up Hyunjin was still pressed into him and his arms were wrapped around his body. He looked so soft. With a wide smile Changbin placed a soft kiss on the younger man's hair without thinking. Slowly Changbin untangled them and got out of his bed. He didn't want to wake Hyunjin when he was sleeping so peacefully. He closed the door softly behind himself and walked into the kitchen. There he was greeted with the sun shining through the window. Still a bit sleepy, he started to make breakfast. He prepared rice and banchan as well as fried eggs. He made some tea and just in time, when he had placed everything on his small table, he heard his bedroom door open and close again. A moment later he saw Hyunjin in the hallway. Just when he wanted to greet him, he noticed the way the younger man was looking. It seemed to Changbin as if Hyunjin was all stiff, his eyes moved fastly from one side to another but he didn't meet Changbins eyes once. 

“Hyunjin?”, Changbin asked carefully, almost afraid the other one would flee like a scared deer. He made one step forward but stopped when Hyunjin jerked back. Immediately Changbin felt a strong pull in his chest. 

“I need to go”, muttered Hyunjin and within a few seconds he was out of the door. 

“But I made breakfast” sighed Changbin now to the emptiness of his home. He didn't understand what had just happened. He didn't get why Hyunjin acted in this way so suddenly. Slowly he placed down the smalle bowl he had still had in his hands when Hyunjin appeared and sat down on one of the chairs. The sun was still shining through his kitchen window but now it seemed mocking. Like she was making fun of him. Shining so bright and happy while he felt like it started raining just over him and only over him. Why did he feel like that? Why was he so upset about Hyunjin just leaving? It wasn't just because he made breakfast for them both. It was more behind it. It was… Changbin let out a deep sigh, stood up and placed everything he had prepared away and into the fridge again. He wasn't hungry anymore. 

When he walked back into his bedroom he noticed Hyunjins clothes from last night. He had left them on the chair and Hyunjin probably didn't notice them when he stormed out of Changbins apartment. Yesterday everything seemed to go just fine. In a long time Changbin hadn't felt so good. Maybe when he went on the short trip with Hyunjin but he even felt better yesterday. The way he had been surrounded with his friends and the new opportunity to work with Chan and Jisung and then Hyunjin. How they danced together and how the younger man had held onto him. He… He had the feeling of being loved. And he loved. Damn he loved… he loved Hyunjin. Love was a big word. Maybe it wasn't love. Not completely but he was on the way to it. He liked Hyunjin. He really did. His body had told him so multiple times and he couldn't deny it anymore. Couldn't deny how he felt so comfortable, so warm and safe whenever Hyunjin was around. He couldn't deny how his heart was beating strongly against his chest when Hyunjin was getting closer to him. For god's sake they kissed. Multiple times and he enjoyed it. Wanted more, even. He had lost the bet. But who was he going to fool? Deep down he had known from the beginning that he would lose this bet but he couldn't do that to Minho. Minho had worked so hard to get so far and Changbin wouldn't be the person to destroy that. But maybe he wouldn't need to. Hyunjin had kissed him multiple times as well. Had seeked him out. Had slept next to him, had hugged like none of Changbins friends had ever done. Maybe he felt the same. The chance was very small but it was still there. Maybe they had a chance. They… was there even a they to begin with? They started off as a bet. Maybe it was all Hyunjin saw in them. Suddenly Changbins chest felt tighter than before and with a frustrated exhale he threw Hyunjins clothes on the ground. He needed to think of something different. Maybe he needed a shower. It would calm him down a bit. Hopefully at least. But before he did that he texted Hyunjin asking him to at least tell him when he got home safe. But even two hours later he had still gotten know text back from Hyunjin and it made him nervous. Not because he thought something might have happened to Hyunjin but because he just ignored him. He had seen that Hyunjin had been online several times through these two hours but he still got no answer. Honestly, he didn't understand anything anymore. Maybe he would need to talk to him after the weekend. Instead of thinking too much about it now, he started to do some work he still had for one of his courses. He didn't like it much but at least it got his head off of Hyunjin.

XIV

The next time he had the opportunity to talk to Hyunjin was on wednesday. He didn't feel well on money when they met up for training so he stayed home but today he felt better and ready to face Hyunjin. Somehow… He needed to anyway because today was the last day of their bet as well. Hyunjin hadnt reached out to him since he left Changbins place. He also did not answer any of his texts or calls. Around Monday evening Changbin stopped trying. Maybe Hyunjin just needed time to sort things out. Yes, that was what he was telling himself. 

When he walked into the studio Minho had booked for them, he already felt the tension. Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin were already sitting in a small circle on the ground. 

“What's up with that atmosphere here?” Slowly he placed down his bag and sat in between Minho and Jeongin. 

“Today is the last day to tell him which group will attempt the show”, muttered Seungmin. Changbin let out a light whine. 

“I know that.” 

“And?” Now he looked towards Minho. 

“Hyung”, he whispered. He couldn't do that to Minho. “I will tell him that I didn't fall for him.” He was sure this would be the right way to go. The only way even if it would hurt his heart. 

“But you would be lying”, said Minho under his breath. Changbin couldn't hold Minhos' gaze anymore.

“That doesn't matter when it means we could go to the show, Hyung. That's what you worked for so hard. What we all worked for.”

“Changbin”, Minho muttered, placing one hand on his knee. “I saw how you looked at him. How could I ignore that just for a chance to get to the show?” Slowly Changbin looked up again. “This will not be the last chance for us to get known more. But it might be the only chance to get with Hyunjin.” 

“I cant…” Changbin didn't know what to do. He looked towards Seungmin and Jeongin. Searching for disagreement in their faces. For a sign that he should lie to Hyunjin. 

“We talked about it, Hyung and we all agreed that your happiness is more important than some chance that isn't even a chance because who says we wouldn't be out in the first round?”

“The whole bet was a stupid idea to begin with”, stated Seungmin with a light shake of his head.

“I agree but also otherwise Minho-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung wouldn't be together. So there was one good thing at least”, said Seungmin with a wide smile and didn't even try to get away from Minho when the oldest of them tried to hide him. Playfully of course. 

“And you and Chan-Hyung”, muttered Changbin with a smile that started to grow when he saw how the younger man started to get red on his ears and tried to hide his smile. 

“We are not together yet.” 

“But you are on the best way to it.” To that Seungmin just shrugged his shoulders but fell back over a second later and hid his face behind his hands. Now Changbin started to laugh and not a second later, Minho and Jeongin followed him.

“Our Seungminnie is all grown up now”, cooed Minho which made Changbin smile fondly as he watched how Minho pinched Seungmins cheeks carefully. 

“Stop it”, whined Seungmin, which was a surprise to Changbin but he still found it adorable. After a few moments it got more quiet again and Seungmin sat up. 

“Let's get started. Just because we will not go to the show doesn't mean I will go easy on you”, said Minho and got up. Changbin let out a little sigh and stood up as well. 

“And Changbin?” Changbin nodded lightly. “You can do it. Get your man.” This made Changbin laugh but he nodded once again. When he got into position he felt like a lot of weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he was happy to have such friends as these three. 

Two hours later, Changbin was more than exhausted. Minho hadn't broken his promise. He had pushed them further than they had ever been but if he was honest with himself their dance had never looked so good as today. Behind the others he walked out of the studio. 

“We will collect the others and then go to the coffee shop around the corner”, explained Minho as they walked towards the studio the others had booked. Changbin was feeling like he would die any second. His hands were cold and hot at the same time and his heart beated faster than when he had drunk too much coffee at once. He took a deep breath just in the moment when the door got opened by Felix who was followed by Chan and Jisung. While the others started to talk to the three newcomers Changbin slowly entered the studio and closed the door behind himself. Hyunjin was sitting on one of the sofas scrolling through his phone. 

“Hyunjin?”, asked Changbin as he placed his bag down and started to walk further towards the younger man. Slowly Hyunjin lowered his phone and looked up. 

“What do you want?” Changbin was surprised how callous Hyunjin sounded. He didn't like this side of Hyunjin. He felt so unfamiliar to him this way.

“Why didn't you react to any of my texts or my calls?” Originally he didn't want to start off like this, but Hyunjin needed to know. 

“Maybe I didn't want to? Have you considered this?” 

“You could have at least told me this and I would have stopped”, mumbled Changbin. To him, it felt like he was losing his grip on Hyunjin. When the other man didn't answer, Changbin took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “I wanted to talk to you about something different.” 

“Then talk”, said Hyunjin with a roll of his eyes as he started to pack everything up. Once again Changbin took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself a bit which was not really working. Maybe he was making it even worse. He had no clue.

“Today is the last day of the bet”, explained Changbin as he made a step forward to Hyunjin.

“I know”, Hyunjin muttered. “Finally it's over.” 

“Finally? Why?” 

“Because I couldn't have done that shit any longer. I'm so happy it's over and I can finally go back to before the bet.” 

“You really want to go back to before the bet? Pretend like nothing happened between us?” Changbin didn't want to but he sounded hurt. 

“Of course. No more faking that I like you. That I'm interested in you. I was so done with it.” Hyunjin didn't look at him as he said that. He was still packing his bag. His hair fell into his face and Changbin nearly closed the distance between them and stroked a few strands away. He wanted to see his face. Hyunjins words slowly sank in and Changbin started to feel betrayed. His heart was heavy in his chest. 

“But I thought…”

“Thought what? That I would like you? That I would fall for you? That I would lose the bet. The chance to finally be seen, for someone like you?” Hyunjins words were like arrows that directly went through his chest and wounded him. Changbin stayed silent. He didn't know what to say and he was sure even if he had known what to say it would not have come over his lips. Finally Hyunjin looked up from his bag but Changbin couldn't see any emotion. Hyunjin looked so cold. So closed up. The elder didn't recognise the other man. 

“Oh of course you would. Of course you would think that. Haven't I played my role well?” Changbin couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. There was no way Hyunjin had faked it all.  

“You didn't! Hyunjin please tell me you didn't”, Changbin didn't care that he started to beg the younger man or that he was dangerously close to crying. He needed to know. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't.” 

“I did, Changbin-ssi.” For a long moment Changbin just stared at the younger man. He couldn't believe it. How could he have been so dumb.

“You were good”, Changbins voice was nothing more than a whisper, a few small tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. He didn't know what he felt anymore. “You fooled me and I was an idiot to think you really liked me. I was a fool to open up and fall for you.” He grabbed his bag from the floor and turned around. “Go to Mr. Choi and tell him your team will go.” Hyunjin stayed silent and when Changbin turned around once more at the door he saw him look down. Changbin wasn't sure but to him it seemed as if Hyunjin had sinked in a bit. He looked much smaller than just a second ago. But who was he to care? Who was he to think he knew Hyunjin´s body language? Hyunjin had lied to him for so long. Changbin didn't know what was real anymore. Didn't know Hyunjin anymore. Has he ever known the real Hyunjin? “Congrats, Hyunjin-ssi. You successfully won the bet. I hope you will be happy now.” And with these last words, Changbin walked out of the studio. For a second he stopped in his tracks, wiped away the tears that were still all over his cheeks and took a deep breath. He had been stupid to think Hyunjin could feel the same. He had been an idiot from the very beginning.

XV

When Changbin left the dance studio he didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to see his friends and tell them that he was the only one who had catched feelings during the bet. And especially not in front of Hyunjins teammates and friends. He was sure they wouldn't laugh about him but he still didn't want to see their faces. Because in the end him catching feelings meant, they could go to the show and he didn't want to see the joy in their eyes while he felt so bad inside. 

He also didn't want to walk home. Home would mean silence and even more room for his thoughts to play with him. 

He sended Minho a short text, telling him that Hyunjin had chosen the show and faked everything before he started to walk. There had been a light wind since the morning and now Changbin enjoyed the wind on his warm skin. He turned right  and left whenever he felt like it. He had no real designation. He just didn't want to stop. Because stopping would mean that his thoughts would start to walk around in his mind. So he walked and walked till the sun started to set. Just then he really looked around and noticed where he was. He had stopped in front of Minho's apartment complex. A small smile appeared on his lips as he noticed it. His body had taken him to the person he needed the most right now. His best friend. With a long breath out, he got in and took the elevator to Minho's apartment. Just now he noticed how tired and heavy his whole body felt. Finally in front of Minho's apartment, Changbin rang the bell and waited but instead of Minho, Jisung opened the door. For a moment both looked surprised. 

“I didn't know you would be here. Am I interrupting anything?”, asked Changbin and started to play with the handle of his bag. “I will go. I'm sorry. Tell that hyung.” But just when he wanted to take a step backwards he was pulled into a tight hug. 

“I'm so sorry, Hyung”, whispered Jisung against his shoulder. 

“Dont”, Changbin whispered back. “It's not your fault.” He was close to tears again. 

“It is! If I hadn't had this stupid idea everything would be fine. You wouldn't be hurt.” 

“It is not your fault, Jisung”, Changbin repeated himself and he meant it. It hadn't been Jisungs fault. It had just been an idea but Changbin was the one who said yes to it. If he had been more mature, he wouldn't have let Hyunjin provoke him. So in the end it was his fault. They stood for a while, arm in arm, till Changbin heard Minhos voice behind Jisung. 

“Let's get him inside, Jisungie.” Slowly, Jisung backed away and pulled Changbin inside. Just now he noticed that Jisung was wearing one of Minho's favourite hoodies. While Changbin took his shoes off and placed his bag in one corner of the hallway, Jisung had walked back into Minho's living room. Minho on the other hand had waited for him and when Changbin finally stood straight again he opened his arms without another word. And Changbin understood what the older one was offering. He closed the distance between them and let himself nearly fall into Minho's hug. He felt tears building up in his eyes again. 

“I was so stupid, Hyung”, cried Changbin out, shaking his head. He felt Minho carrying his back softly rocking them from side to side. “And I thought he may also have started to like me.” 

“You are not stupid, and you know that Binnie”, muttered Minho next to his ear. Changbin could hear how Minho forced himself to sound calm and he wondered what Minho was really feeling. Was he angry? “Let's get you onto the sofa, yeah? You must be tired.” Still with tears in his eyes he followed his Hyung into the living room where Jisung had prepared the sofa with a few cushions and a blanket. 

“Thank you, Jisung”, he whispered when he let himself fall onto the sofa and the younger man had placed the blanket over him. 

“Sure Hyung.” He sat down on the armchair and made space so Minho could sit there as well, after he had placed a glass of water next to Changbin on the table. 

“Congrats for getting in the show i guess”, mumbled Changbin after a moment of silence. He saw how Jisung glanced at Minho and then at him. But just for a second before his glace went down to his hands.

“First of all, I could not be happy when you are so hurt. How could I, Hyung?”, he explained with a strange sounding voice. He cleared his throat, playing with the rings on his finger. Softly Minho placed his hand over Jisungs. “And second, we didn't get in.”

“What?” 

“We didn't get in the show.” Changbin sat up, staring at Jisung. 

“Don't look at me like I'm an alien.” 

“I don't understand.” 

“When Hyunjin tol old Mr. Choi our group would go, he told him the type of show was changed and that instead of a boys group he needed a girls group.” 

“You are joking.” 

“Sadly I'm not.” Changbin didn't know how to feel. He felt so much but also nothing at the same time. He couldn't believe it. Was the universe really that cruel? 

“Funny”, he whispered and without really meaning to he started to laugh. Not the happy laugh more like… yeah like what? It felt like he was going crazy. He could feel the tears falling down his cheeks but he couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't even funny. It was just sad. Suddenly he felt Minho's arms around him again. Minho was talking to him in a soft voice but he couldn't understand anything. It felt like his voice couldnt reach Changbin. Like he was far away. Out of sight. He started to feel even more tired than before. And sooner than later he drifted to sleep.

XVI

On the next day he woke up much later than he wanted to. Later than he needed to because he had some lectures. Minho's small apartment was silent and Changbin assumed both Jisung and Minho had already left the apartment. With a low sigh he sat up a small smile appearing when he saw the glass of water and medicine against a headache he could have gotten from crying yesterday. And Changbin was sure there would be breakfast in the fridge for him. He emptied the glass of water and stood up slowly. When he walked into the bathroom he found some clothes. He felt like crying again but this time because Minho and probably Jisung too had prepared everything for him before they went out. 

Changbin washed himself and changed into Minhos clothes. He took his time because it would be way too late to go to his lecture anyways. When he walked into Minho's small kitchen he noticed that one of the other two men had put his phone on the charger so he grabbed it and checked whether anyone had texted him. He had several texts. Some from Minho explaining that they let him sleep because he looked so tired and that he could stay as long as he wanted. Others were from Jeongin and Seungmin asking him how he was and asking whether they should kick Hyunjins ass which made him nearly laugh. But again just nearly. He also found a long text from Chan asking how he was as well, telling him what Jisung had already told him and that he was sorry for Hyunjins behaviour. What made Changbin smile was that Chan also stated the younger one could always talk to him and that he was still invited to join them when they next meet up to produce a bit. With a smile he answered Chan and the others. Right before he closed the app he saw Hyunjins contact but like he accepted there was no text from him. Still it kinda hurt to know even after Hyunjins group failed to get into the tv show as well Hyunjin wasn't reaching out to him. He should try to forget about everything that was surrounding Hyunjin. Which was harder done than said. Minho had prepared him kimchi fried rice which he ate in silence till his thoughts got too much and he played loud music instead. His thoughts weren't taking up so much space when Changbin was nodding to the music.

When he had finished his breakfast it was already past 1 p.m. so he washed up quickly and got ready to leave. When he left Minho's apartment he didn't feel like going home. Hyunjins clothes, neatly folded on his chair, would just remind him of the younger man even more so he decided to head to the dance studio. They would meet up around 2:30 p.m. for a dance practice anyways. 

As he arrived in the studio he started to look through the small windows in each studio door to check whether it was empty or not. He had already turned away from the third studio door when he stopped and looked again, not sure whether his eyes played evil tricks on him. But no. In the middle of the studio was Hyunjin dancing to music that was still noticeable outside the studio. Something in Changbin stirred. He wanted to see Hyunjin. Wanted to know how he looked. Did he look like shit? Did he look bad because he lost the opportunity to go to the tv show? Or did he look the same? Had it not affected him. Would he just continue his life as if the last few weeks never happened? 

And he felt the desire to rub Hyunjins lost opportunity to be seen all over his face. He wanted him to feel bad at least for one second. He needed it.

So he opened the door in auto mode and slipped through. Hyunjin didnt even notice him. The music was way too loud. The first thing he noticed when he looked at the younger man was the hoodie he was wearing because it was the one Changbin had given Hyunjin when he had slept in his apartment. Changbin felt something bubble up inside him but he forced it down and walked to the stereo box instead to turn the music off. Immediately Hyunjin spun around, looking at him with wide eyes. For a second Changbins throat betrays him and he can't manage to get anything out. He cleared his throat forcefully. 

“Funny isn't it? In the end we both lost the chance to go to the show”, he said and even in his ears it sounded more spiteful than he attended. He started to lean against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Hyunjin kept silent but was still staring at him. Changbin couldn't hold back an angry huff. How could Hyunjin just stand there and stare at him? Had he nothing to say? “Are you happy now?” He wanted to know even though he wasn't sure what he would do with this information and deep down he was aware that it would not change anything for him. He would still feel hurt. Hyunjin on the other hand broke their eye contact and looked down. Then he turned around and nearly ran towards his bag. “Don't you dare to run away!”, Changbin hissed, following the younger man but as soon as he said these words Hyunjin stopped in his tracks. He didn't turn around. He wasn't doing anything. Slowly Changbin walked up to him but when he saw who Hyunjin flinched with every step he took, he stopped a few steps before him. He didn't know what to do now. He had acted impulsive without a real plan. He had been stupid. 

“I'm sorry.” If the studio had not been completely quiet, Changbin would have missed Hyunjins words because he had said them with such little voice. Changbin stayed silent, staring holes into Hyunjins back. He felt like his insides paused for a moment. After another moment of silence passed, Hyunjin slowly turned around and now that they were facing each other Changbin was able to see the tears that started to roll over Hyunjins cheeks. For a second he felt the need to close the distance and just hug Hyunjin but then he remembered that Hyunjin had told he had acted the whole time they were together. How could he be sure that the younger man wasn't acting now? 

“Stop acting! It isn't getting you anywhere”, Changbin hissed, looking away from Hyunjin for a second. He needed to stay put. 

Meanwhile Hyunjin wrapped his arms around his upper body and looked for a moment at the ceiling. When Changbin looked at him again he wasn't even more unsure of what to think. 

“I'm sorry”, uttered Hyunjin once more. A loud sob escaped Hyunjin’s lips and his whole body seemed to shake. “Please believe me when I say I'm sorry, Hyung.” Everything in him screamed to wrap Hyunjin into his arms but he couldn't. Instead he crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“How can I trust you, when all I got to see the last few weeks was acting? How am I supposed to know whether you are still acting?” Changbin tried to sound calm but even in his own ears he still sensed the angriness in his words. 

“I lied.” 

“Yeah I know. It's not like I was too stupid to understand it the first time you told me yesterday”, said Changbin with a laugh that nearly got stuck in his throat. Intensely Hyunjin shook his head, making a few steps forward. 

“No, you don't understand”, he whispered, tears were still falling down his cheeks. “I lied yesterday.” Changbin didn't know what to say. What was Hyunjin implying? What had he lied about? “I was lying when I said I was acting. I was never acting when we were together.” 

“Why? 

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you say it then? Was the opportunity to be seen really so much more worth than…”, Changbin cutted himself off, let out a low sigh and shook his head. 

“It was all a bet”, Hyunjin muttered as he rubbed away his tears. “How would I have been able to know what was the bet and what was real?” “We kissed, multiple times! We slept next to each other and I took care of you when you were drunk. You think I did that just because of this stupid bet?”

“I dont know!”, said Hyunjin with a much louder voice than before. “How would I have known that?” He pulled his hair softly as he shook his head. 

“Then why did you turn away from me? Why didn't you talk to me? Do you even know how much your actions and words hurted?” For a moment Hyunjin kept quiet and when he started to speak again he had his head lowered. 

“Don't you understand?”, he whispered. “I was afraid… I was afraid that I had been the only one that started to catch feelings. I was afraid that I would be standing alone after the bet and you wouldn't even care.” 

“And that's why you decided it would be fine to hurt me instead?” Hyunjin flinched slightly at those words. 

“I was stupid. I let my fears choose my actions and when I understood what I had done. When I understood you had also started to like me it was too late. The damage was done and I didnt know what to do to take it back.” Hyunjin bowed lightly. “I'm sorry for not being as brave and honest as you were.” Changbin looked at him and when they met eyes he had the feeling that Hyunjin was telling him the truth. 

“It's never too late to be honest, Hyunjin.” Slowly Hyunjin closed the distance between them till he was an arm's length away.

“In the beginning, all I was thinking about was to win the bet but soon I started to get excited whenever we would meet and I felt quite safe around you. I was able to let go which was kinda scary”, explained Hyunjin with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. “When I woke up after the night in the pub I was so happy because you took me home with you and took care of me but then”, he let out a shaky breath. “Then I remembered that everything still happened because of the bet and my mind went overload telling me that I had been so stupid and so full of myself that I couldn't think straight anymore. So I left.” Hyunjin took a deep breath and looked away as he started to play with the strings of his hoodie. “I was too confused on my way back home. I just… I just didnt understand why I was so upset by the idea that everything might have been because of the bet and then…”, he stopped again and this time Changbin softly took Hyunjins hands and held them in between them. “I realised that I started to like you. I really like you and it scared me even more. That's why I didn't react to your texts or calls. I was so stupid. I'm sorry.” For a moment Changbin had no words to reply but then he nodded. 

“Thanks for telling me, Hyunjin.” 

“What will happen now?”, whispered Hyunjin after some silence between them as he kept looking at their hands. Changbin tilted his head lightly and raised one eyebrow. Had he imagined it or had Hyunjin sounded hopeful? 

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin hesitated for a second. 

“What will happen with us? Is there an us?” Oh.

“Hyunjin I…” 

“Would you still have me even after what I have done?” Hyunjins hands in Changbins were ice cold and shaking slightly. When Changbin met Hyunjins eyes, they were moving, searching for an answer. Changbin felt like he had been ripped into two parts. One part screamed at him to hug the younger man. To kiss him and tell him that he would of course have him. And the other half reminded him how much he was still hurt by Hyunjins actions. How hollow he had felt just a day ago. He could not ignore this part and he would not. 

“I will be honest with you”, muttered the older man. “You really hurt me with the words you said and it's way too fresh to just ignore everything.” Changbin could see the little light that had started to glow in Hyunjins eyes disappear. He forced a smile and nodded. 

“I understand that, Hyung. Thank you for being honest.” He started to pull away but Changbin kept his grip tied. 

“Because you were honest with me, I understand now that you were scared. Knowing this the pain doesn't get any less but I think I can understand why you acted the way you did.” Softly Changbin rubbed over Hyunjins upperpalm. “I think it will take some time till it doesn't hurt anymore but I would like to try once again. This time knowing that every action is because you like me and not because of this stupid bet.” 

“Can I hug you?”, Hyunjin asked out of the blue and Changbin couldn't hold back a laugh escaping him. Softly he pulled the younger man in and wrapped his arms around him. 

“I will make sure to show you that I really like you.” 

“And please remember that you can always talk to me. Don't bottle everything up.” Hyunjins hug got even tighter as he nodded. 

“I will try my best, Hyung. And you can always talk to me as well.” 

For a few moments they stayed in this position till Hyunjins stomach made a sudden loud sound. As Changbin bursted into laughter, Hyunjin drew back and looked at everything with red tinted cheeks except at Changbin. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” All Hyunjin did was to shake his head which made Changbin sigh. “Then let's get you something to eat.” Both men grabbed their bags and walked out of the dance studio. 

Changbin knew it wouldn't be fine from one second to another but he felt that they would be good sometime in the future. They would work on it. Would build a healthy base for whatever was to come. He knew that when his hands brushed softly against the taller once. Slowly he intertwined their fingers. They will be fine, Changbin was sure about it.

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Disc World Book Club Thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 33-62

Hey @anna-neko, and uh anyone who's still following this... haaaa remember this....

Anyways, ha! Me when I lie!!!! Look, the end of the semester started kicking full gear and then holidays but I'M BACK(what I always say, but I swear I mean it this time!) Ugh, as I keep reiterating in this series, reading hard for me, not because of the act of reading in itself, but the motivation it requires for me to stay focused long enough on a book to actually finish it. In the past I was using the the audio book for quick 5-20 minutes stints, but I was mostly doing the combo of audio+book because I want to process everything. Anyway, I made the executive decision to treat this book like a podcast which means I am missing more little details BUT it has made getting through the book easier. That sounds like the book is a slug to get through, and that's not true, I'm really enjoying this book. It's just, getting my brain to actually start reading is a hassle and a half. I've gotten through an hour of book in a week though, so that's pretty exciting!

Anyway, onto scatter book thoughts as I was having them!

YOOOOO SOMEONE'S PREGOOO

Yah you spoiled that to but I finally got that point! Also, I forgotten WHO it was but was SHUFTI

Actually we have a small problem where I just can't remember half of the casts names so ESPECIALLY their last names, but me as of 1/8/2024 has written their full names down so hopefull I'll remember now. Also I read Blouse's fanwiki cause I forgot who he was and spoiled myself a little but nothing too serious I don't think. Oopsies! Anyways, I have their names written down so no more confusion!

EYOOO STRAPPI'S A COWARD AND THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT IN THE FRONT LINES

The way I was thinking "Polly's crossdressing!" like no, she's literally just being her normal gender!!!!! We love a girl crossdressing as a guy crossdressing as a girl.

In all seriousness, I really enjoyed that whole sequnce of her beating up guys crossdressing as a girl, and the Maldict joining her and the whole Jackrum taking the as prisoners and talking to them. Just a fun section of the book I really enjoyed. I love Polly and Maladict's friendship! It's so fun, and they got great chemistry

Also, interesting how the whole thing is that men go to war cause they're strong and stuff, but the first enemies Polly fights, she does as a girl. Idk just neat!

Also I've already mentioned this, but I'm obbssed with Polly as a character, she's so interesting because she's so judgy of the others. And she's the epitome of the "I can tell crowd."(looks at her being surprised that Tonker's a girl) Obviously, she's not doing it for transphobia reasons, but it's facinating to me how her stress of getting caught and stuff leads to her being overly critical of how the other girls are trying to pass. Like, Lofti got caught for saying "sugar" but Polly caught herself not cursing either, also I think she starts making the active effort to curse more after that. Just interesting how she adds on her act of being a guy with everyone else's mistakes.

American moment: Me learning bugger is vulgar?????

YOO THEY'RE REVALING THEMSELVES!!! I thought Maladict was included in that, but I guess not cause she was interrupted.

Also I think???? Jackrum is openinly showing he knows???(lets be real he knows they're girls). He refered to them as ladies but then used he/him for Polly, so I'm kinda confused on that front, but I'll just wait for a scene will clarify that for me

Also learning they’re reasons for joing are all pretty interesting!

Anyways this quote was cool (quote bellow)

It was for the other one, the little lesson that life sometimes rams home with a stick: you are not the only one watching the world, other people are also people, while you watch them they watch you, and they think about you while you think about them. The world isn't just about you.

OH DEATH MENTION!!!! This is a war book so he'll probably appear in this book. Obviously I don't want any of the characters to die, but I've heard GREAT things about Death, so I'm excited to meet him!(hopefully is a near-death moment and not a real death moment, but lets face it, someone's gonna have to die)

They're cutting to Vimes and stuff, and they're defineitly some "wink wink" "nudge nudge" moements that I'm missing, not to say that I'm not understanding anything, but I can just tell I'm in the know, you know. That being said, the sections with Vimes are pretty intresting and Angua seems pretty cool.

Also idk why but "bitch" caught me off gaurd??? Apparently they've been cursing and shit thorughout the book but bitch is the first curse word that actually means something to me. I'm sure they've said some other curse words that I recognize but I stopped reading the books for a couple a months. Also I have the mouth of a sailor, so it's not like a care, I guess I'm just confused that it surprised me. Also, Polly herself said she doesn't curse much so that probably means that the curse was light in the book since it's in her POV(also, curse words like "damn, bastard, etc. mean nothing to me")

Also I don't know how elaborate on this besides, "Wow, this is totally not a commentary on how British people view Christianity and the royal family!"

[insert pic]

Yah yah, jokes aside, I grew up agnostic and in the US, so not much to say beside monarchy bad(hot take am I right) Tho, tbh even the obvious connection is the royal family, man sometimes to does seems like certain groups worship politicians on a religious level. Also, there is smoothing to be said about a lot of manipulation tactics of authoritarian governments is the whole 'make them have problems' and then say, "I am the solutions to all your problems." And so with all the abominations being things that are so bad that it leads to the citizens not being able to eat well, it makes it easier to get the population to manipulate say that "X" is the bad guy.

Interesting seeing Polly have disphoria. I don't know if that's the terminology they would've used when the book came out, but Polly being like "damn, do I really that convincing as a boy" and feeling akward that everyone was 100% sure she was a guy. Like that is the goal, cause she's trying to be undercover, but also it's weird knowing people percive you the wrong gender, you know.

Also side note but I recently watched Blue Eyed Samurai, so spoilers for the first ep, but Mizu is also an undercover girl, and it's like damn, it like, in alot of these stories, these women are able to pass as guys cause they're natrual frame helps them alot in that regard. Like I have pretty boxy frame, so maybe when I was younger I could've passed as a guy if I tried, but me now, that would be way harder cause of my chest. And idk like, man it'd be cool if I could try to pass as another gender pretty easily you know?? I'd just have to work on my voice cause it's super high. Tho, I have been gendered as a guy cause of my hair + buttondown combo, so who knows, maybe I could. Anyway, back to the story

Not me reading a really dark scene of Polly and Maladict finding bruttally murdered bodies and laughing at the, "they would not grow older" line. SOLL GET IT TOGETHER!!! Anyway, despite what that sentence may imply, that whole scene was like, wow that's dark. Like the scene in Mulan right after girl worth fighting for.

Watching Polly gasp for air was like AAAAAAAH

Also Maladict having to contain herself cause of the blood, just an intresting scene!

I'm surprised Polly was saying " I thought we were the good guys" cause she seemed to have pretty good media literacy(for being a Boragravian) like, she was mention how the newspapers would proabbly not be trustworthy(cause she only knows her current governement), and she knew that the whole "Boragravia is winning" stance that everyone was saying is wrong. Also way back earlier in the book she talks about there always being a war, but I guess she wasn't being satrical??? (here's the quote)

There was always a war. Usually they were border disputes, the national equivalent of complaining that the neighbor was letting their hedge grow too long. Sometimes they were bigger. Borogravia was a peace-loving country in the midst of treacherous, devious, warlike enemies. They had to be treacherous, devious, and warlike, otherwise we wouldn't be fighting them, eh? There was always a war.

Guess Polly wasn't immune to propaganda (insert Garfield pic). I guess it makes sense tho, cause it's hard to process that your homecountry does horrible shit.

Also intresting how Jackrum dismissed it, like, I guess I thought he'd be more in the know that the government aint the best. Idk, he's pretty intresting, cause Idk his full stance on things. He telling Blouse that the news is coming from the enemy, but like, it's hard to deny that Boragravia's doing well. Guess that now that he's fully encharge we get to see him more than him just him being a nice relif from Strappi. Anyway, WOW Jackrum is a nuanced charcter???!!! Sarcasm aside, I think I need to read a bit more get my full thoughts on him.

Also something something, they're getting deprogrammed(for example, shufti and wazzer realizing they're losing) through experiencing war.

Anyway TONESHIFT Polly trying not to kill Blouse while shaving him is hilarious

K where I left off!!! Strappi(or so Polly thinks, and I'm inclined to believe her) has stolen a bunch of shit from the girls, so shit's about to go down. Poor Maladict doesn't have her cofee, and POLLY'S HAIR IS MISSING.AAAAAAH! Tbh, I thought her letter from Paul would be missing, so at least she still has that.

It's like 2:00 rn, so I'm pretty tired but I'm pretty hooked on the book rn, and maybe this semester I'll read more! Well, Feburary's gonna be busy cause I'll be auditioning to schools, but I'll try to make space to read. Also apperantly the hoopla has sections they've marked as chapters???? Tbh, it's proably whenever the audiobook plays the little military music. Anyways, I think another issue with the discworld books is that Terry Prachett doesn't do chapters, so I don't have that dopamine hit of "chapter completed!" But yah, maybe I'll try to keep track of the "chapters," to see if that motivates me more. Anyway, uh, I'll proabbly quee this for like 3:00 cause it's 8:00 in England and the book series is more popular over there. Okay, think that's it I'll talk next week.

Ps: idk how I indedent in the bullets, did it by accident on laptop and then copypasted it, I don’t know how I did that

First | <-Previous | Next->

[snakedice]

people are strange...

yo white like alterbatives/(usually punk for some reason) (usually young) be saying things that label them as incrediblly UNIQUE and LIBERAL and LEFTIST and so so REVOLUTIONARY and im just there like what?? dawg any average vocal person of color has said those things like 20 years ago, and have more... like intresting things to say??? like ngl almost every person of color has had the same revalation about society at 7 years old then a white alternative at like 22. like ngl im just TIRED OF IT.. And the minority of white alternatives silencing and pushing down POC voices are just... why??? You want to be a revolutinary yet you activily supress the people who build your framework?? your foundation??? its so insane to me. Im not one of said alternative subcultures, I genuinely stopped truly beliving in the label. Especially for a political view that like... isn't mindblowing to me... its just something that always has existed and I have been aware of in my life?? (I am aware that punks and other subcultures are not soley based on ideology, but diffrent fasion and culture as well)

this does not apply to everyone within a subculture.. its just my opinion piece of whats considered revolutinary

[inventors-fair]

Mini Me Entries 11-20

Student of Consecration by @spooky-bard (mini consecration sphinx)

Nightpack Stalker by @pocketvikings (mini Nightpack Ambusher)

Weald Elemental by @horsecrash (mega Wood Elemental)

Charix, Survivor of Sea gate by @stareyedesper (mini Charix)

Chain Blightning by @evscfa1 (mega(?) Blightning)

Smoldred the Awwpocalypse by @hypexion (Mini sheoldred the apocalypse)

Bloodwitches’ Servant by @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes (mini Hellhole Rats)

Cosmos Revalation by @nine-effing-hells (mega growth spiral)

Mogg Fanclub by @deg99 (mega Mogg Fanatic)

Sakura-Tribe Procession by @bread-into-toast (mega Sakura-Tribe Elder)

[ispyspookymansion]

hellraiser: revalations is bad. im 20 minutes in and it is so bad

[weirdnote]

The Disappearance of Rosalind Ballingal

In the morning of August 12, 1969, Rosalind Ballingal, a 20-year-old student of the University of Cape Town, disappeared into the Knysna forest never to be seen again. The thought of a young woman venturing off into the dense forest alone sounds strange enough, but this tragic story only gets weirder.

Who Was Rosalind?

At the time of her disappearance, Rosalind Ballingall was a 6 foot tall woman with red hair and blue eyes. She was not exactly the most studious of her classmates at UCT, and she was known to regularly use drugs, such as hallucinogens. She was also a known member of the so-called “hippie cult” the Cosmic Butterfly. This group was rumored to regularly partake in activities such as orgies, drugs, and rituals. Rosalind was also a rather reserved person in the public eye. She would keep to herself most of the time during her classes and other outings. Eventually, her behavior shifted into something that others found to be off, even by Rosalind’s standard.

The Disappearance

Rosalind seemed to fall into a sudden, deep depression that was so apparent her classmates quickly picked up on her change in behavior. She was more insecure and self-deprecating than usual, and even more isolated from her peers. As an attempt to help her feel better two of her acquaintances, Tanya Geffin and Sasja Sergiev, invited her to stay with thim in a cottage near the Knysna Forest. They arrived at the cottage on August 11, and supposedly spent the day discussing what they would talk about or do while under the influence of drugs. They also talked about different passages from Revelations in the Bible.

The next morning, Rosalind woke up, put her clothes on, picked up her Bible, and disappeared into the forest. Before she left, she told her friends that she was merely going for a walk. She was last seen by two nearby staff members who she questioned about directions to the nearest church. Her friends were not surprised by her absence, and therefore waited until the morning of August 13 to call the local police. One disturbing detail the police noted was that, when they arrived at the cottage, Sasja was simply sitting outside of the cottage playing a flute. When questioned, he stated that he was trying to entice her back to the cabin. Naturally, he was brought in and questioned for weeks, but eventually was released. After several days of tireless searching through and around the Knysna Forest, the search was called off on August 26.

The Cosmic Butterfly

Because of Rosalind’s disappearance, The Cosmic Butterfly was forced into the spotlight by the public and also the police. This group essentially believed in a more radicalized version of Christianity that was focused specifically on the study of Revelations and the end of times. The use of hallucinogens was common in this group, so much so that the group was reportedly established during a rave while under the influence of them. After learning more about the group, members were questioned about Rosalind. According to them, she held a high position in the group known as the “high priestess,” but they never elaborated as to what the duty of that role was. Another important piece of information gathered was that Rosalind was known to be highly anxious about the end of the world.

Conclusions

This disappearance is shrouded in mystery and odd circumstances, and although a part of me wants to tell you that she became possessed by some sort of supernatural being that lured her into the forest for her to be captured by aliens, I do not believe that that is the case with Rosalind. I believe her disappearance was a result of the perfect storm of stressors, exacerbated by the drugs in her system. The fact that she had been previously in a depressive state and known to be anxious about the end of the world, it is completely reasonable that after talking about Revalations and doing drugs in a secluded cabin she was not necessarily thinking clearly. I believe she most likely suffered some sort of panic or breakdown, and eventually resolved that she needed to go to a church right that minute for peace of mind and comfort. During her search, she likely got lost in the dense jungle or something similar. The only unexplainable part is the fact that the entire jungle was scoured and no evidence of her nor a body was found, so maybe there is hope for some sort of paranormal explanation, though I highly doubt this one was anything other than a tragic mix of circumstances that lead to the death of Rosiland Ballingal.

[ptseti]

The Coat of Arms of The Brotherhood of Blackheads ___ The Brotherhood of Blackheads is an association of local unmarried male merchants, ship-owners, and foreigners that was active in Livonia (present-day Estonia and Latvia) in the mid-14th century… The Brotherhood of Blackheads originated as a military organization, but the non-military aspects of the association gradually became more pronounced until the Brotherhood became a predominantly social organization after the end (1721) of the Great Northern War… The brotherhood traces its origin to a group of foreign merchants who, according to the legend, had participated in the defence of Reval (present-day Tallinn in Estonia) during the Saint George's Night Uprising between 1343 and 1345 when the indigenous population of Estonia unsuccessfully tried to exterminate all foreigners and eradicate Christianity from Estonia… According to the Great Rights in Tallinn, the Brotherhood of Blackheads committed itself to defending the city from any enemy invasion… Among other duties, the Brotherhood provided the city with a cavalry detachment… The Blackhead cavalrymen patrolled the city wall and six of them made rounds inside the wall every evening after the city gates were locked at sunset… In 1526 the Brotherhood presented the city council of Tallinn with 8 rock-hurling machines, 20 cannon carriages, and 66 small-calibre guns… Money was donated for making cannons for Narva, and it was stipulated that the Blackheads' coat of arms be on all the guns… During the 25-year-long Livonian War (1558-1583), members of the Brotherhood of Blackheads in Tallinn participated in many battles and successfully helped to defend the city against the Russians who unsuccessfully besieged Tallinn in 1570–1571 and again in 1577… The military aspect of the Brotherhood can be attributed to its founding during the days of the last great anti-Christian revolt of the indigenous people of Northern Europe in the wake of the Northern Crusades…

[myquietimagination]

Ramadhan Kareem For Me

1. Ramadhan is like the rain, it nourishes. The seeds of good deeds

2.  My secret is simple. I pray.

3. Jika engkau selalu sibuk bergelut dengan masa lalu atau masa depan, engkau akan melewatkannya hari ini (Jalaluddin Rumi)

4. People come and go, but you, you stay with yourself

5.  Aku adalah orang yang serba ingin cepat dalam mengerjakan sesuatu, sampai-sampai aku tak merasa kalau aku sedang dilatih untuk merasa bersabar. Karena jika aku terus bekerja cepat dan tak mempedulikan sekitar, aku akan seperti robot dan aku juga tidak tahu apa itu sabar?

6. Santi mean’s “Sabar” also “Tentram” or “ Damai”. I think, I know why my dad given that’s name for me? Cuz, that name is pray for my life, I guess.

7. Baru diumur 23 saya baru tau makna setiap ucapan saat solat adalah doa. Khususnya untuk duduk diantara 2 sujud. It’s deep meaningful

8. I’m so touched when I hear “Kita baru saja mendarat di Bandara Udara International Prince Mohammad bin Abdul Aziz di Medina”

9. Ya Allah, saya mau ke mekkah dan madinah. Saya mau nabung dulu. Di rekening saya ada 1,5 juta. Nanti saya kumpulkan hasil kerja saya. Tapi saya mau beli laptop dulu, biar kerja saya lancar. Sembari itu, saya akan menabung sedikit demi sedikit untuk bisa melaksanakan ibadah umroh. Sejujurnya, saya ingin umroh tidak hanya sendiri, tapi bareng ayah mama mbak sari sama afis. Saya membayangkan kita berpelukan di depan kakbah. Masih saya bayangkan saja saya sudah menangis. Saya sekarang menangis. Tidak, harusnya saya menahan tangis. Saya ingin menunjukkan wajah bahagia saya saat ada di Tanah Suci nanti. (Malam 9 Ramadhan)

10. Menyambung tali silaturahmi itu penting, seperti bertemu dengan teman atau sahabat karib.

11. Don’t say something nasty

12. I watched American Eid, so simple but great learned

13. I love rahmatan lil alamin

14. Yaa habiibii yaa shafii’i yaa Rasula Allah My Beloved, my intercessor, O Messenger of Allah

15. I have so much laughter because I watched Habib Jafar and Onad. They both very funny and they have so much learned about anything, expecially about Islam and Tolerate.

16. My best friend said to me that her ideal man changed, she said that now she love brewok boy like reval hady, I mean oyek. And One day, she send me videos in tiktok. That video have means to educate children politly and kindly, and people’s in that video are oyek’s people. I mean, I think Oyek’s People have so much learn about Islam culture family and educating children. So, should I changed my ideal man?

17. It’s so funny to hear story about Nuaiman and Rasullah SAW. How can he sell his best friends? Hahaha and about a blind man looking for toilet, it’s hilarious.

18. Sometimes, the really good stuff begins only one, something else end.

19.  Aku sudah khatam Al-Quran. Alhamdulillah.

20. There is a boy that I saw on tiktok. He said that if he was sad to see many people who died in Ramadhan. But, he was also happy cuz he believed these people would go to heaven, Ameen. He’s sad if next Ramadhan he doesn’t met those people. And he also told story about his journey when umroh and he also kissed the stone. Very touched, Masya Allah.

21. I met Daniel in tiktok. He is pure boy, soft, family man, smart, and solih. One day, I hope I have a son like him. He is so warm for mother, daddy, and his sister’s. Masya Allah

22. Imam in Turkeye invites children to play in the Mosque. This is a new breakthrough so that children even people knew that Mosque is a peace place.

23. Don’t forget to help others, and give anything you have for your neighbors.

24. “The first Hug after nikkah” I’m curious about it. I hope I find the best soulmate from Allah’s Sight. A soulmate who can become a friend in matters the religion, the world, and the hereafter (Akhirat).

25. I think it’s important for me to immediately study parenting and life after marriage.

26. I hope I can find and see you again, Lailatul Qadr.

27. Making hampers mini for cousin and nephew and friends too. Cuz, everyone can deserve happy for eid mubarok.

28. Ramadhan said “I’am leaving soon, take care of your iman”

29. Takbiran’s Night, I’m Coming!!!

30. Happy Eid Mubarok everyone!

[detund]

DU™️ #Repost @defasten ・・・ Happy Friday the 13 👹 I'm doing visuals for the (early) club night that I am putting together with the Detroit Underground Berlin crew on Thursday Jan 26 at Urban Spree As part of the VORSPIEL program in partnership with CTM + transmediale festival music from the DU-BRLN compilation: @t.raumschmiere (Shitkatapult, Kompakt, Sender, Novamute) Read below for the full event details ✨ https://vorspiel.berlin/ @vorspiel.berlin @urban_spree @detroitunderground DU-BRLN DETROIT UNDERGROUND ***************************************** Do 26.1.23 20:00 URBAN SPREE Revaler Str. 99 (S Warschauer Str) LIVE: ANDRE UHL DEFASTEN JESSICA KERT PETER KIRN THE ALLEGORIST YAPORIGAMI **************************************** Part of www.vorspiel.berlin in cooperation with CTM + transmediale Release event for DU-BRLN https://detund.bandcamp.com/album/railways-du-brln https://detund.bandcamp.com/ ***************************************** and join us on Fr 20.1.23, 22:00 at PANKE at the Vorspiel opening Hof V, Gerichtstraße 23 (S+U Wedding) LIVE: AKKAMIAU Some sonic communities grow even in isolation, in the lonely obsessive moments in the studio as time melts away. Deep inside the Detroit Underground nests a Berlin underground, chasing those resonant shared sounds. DU Berlin draws together some of that love felt through music in the German capital. It’s not the wild city of reunification or Berlin Calling or tourist-style movies or the easyJet set. This is the side of the city that endlessly romances machines for the sheer joy of it, as The Allegorist titles her track, “until dawn.” And with some big names and emerging, ranging from mainstays to veteran agitators, the Berlin DU crew have telegraphed each other through productions and mutual inspiration. The results vibrate and rumble with sympathetic frequencies, but never limited to grayscale or dithered palettes. #defasten #detund #vorspielberlin #berlintechno #electronicmusic #idm #modularsynth #clubmusic (at Berlin, Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnZ8o4qvhp9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[nicht-ganz-allein-sunny]

Hatte nen Traum in dem ich 6 1/2 Stunden mitm Auto gefahren bin um mir ne Adaption von 'Much Ado About Nothing' anzuschauen und bruh das war ne Revalation.

Benedikt hatte for some reason ein extrem schönes, simples, hellblaues Kleid an und Beatrice war mindestens 20 Jahre älter als er. Außerdem hat jeder im Publikum n Bingo-Blatt bekommen. 10/10, bin pissig das ich dann an dieser Stelle aufgewacht bin, hätte mich interessiert wie das weiter geht, kann das bitte genau so jemand umsetzen