#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick

[fembutchboygirl]

I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

[b-00-biez]

Hii! I was wondering if you could maybe write something along the lines of "slashers with an s/o who thinks they're not enough for them and starts distancing themselves" maybe not that long but something of the sort :) this is my first ever ask so I do apologise if I can't quite get my thought across. :)

Slasher with an S/o that distance themselves

Characters: Bo Sinclair, Patrick Bateman, Brahms heelshire, Thomas Hewitt, Ghostface

Bo Sinclair

You were staring at the mirror too long looking at your body

pinching your imperfections and flaws

This has been going on for some time now and bo doesnt really realize it

You locked yourself in the shared room, refused sex and even slightly avoided him when hes around

He was pissed

"Sweetheart come here we need to talk."

With a stern voice he sits you on his lap and embraces you

He asks you what's going on in your lil mind and why have you been avoiding him for the past weeks

You started to tear up and tremble as you tell him you're not good enough for him, that you always mess up and you're not like the girls in his magazines ( yeah i believe he has a stash of magazines hidden like a perv 😭)

He coos at you hugging you tighter as he rocks you on his lap

"Darling, you're all what this big pervert needs, now give me some sugar"

He kissed your cheek lovingly nothing like youd expect from this sly man

Patrick Bateman

This man has girls all over him , flirting with him cause he is absolutely handsome

Although he completely ignores them

You started to feel

insecure

All the girls were hot and corvy and youre you

Well thats what you thought, after a few months you started to distance yourself hoping that maybe he would find someone "better"

One night you wake up to your door ringing nonstop and when you check the peep hole you see your boyfriend standing there with 100 roses, neatly in a bouquet as he was dressed nicely

You opened your door slowly just putting your face out, he noticed you crying cause of your swollen eyelids.

He handed you the flowers and held you which felt like it lasted an hour

"Darling I know you aren't feeling well and I'd like to take you on a little date to show how much i truly love you. Will you accept it?"

He kissed your hand while grabbing gently at your waist

Brahms Heelshire

All he talked about was Greta and how she looked pretty unlike any other

And even after you were in a relationship with him you felt... ignored

You wanted to scream at him how youre here and that shes gone

but instead you neglected your duties as a nanny and locked yourself in your room for more than 3 days

Although you feel eyes watching you through the walls, you didnt care to budge

Until he kicked the door open.

He was tired of you neglecting him as he stared at you in anger

His eyes softened seeing you balled up in your bed sniffling and whimpering

First he thought you were sick as he checked whether you were hurt or not

But when you couldnt stop crying he left leaving you some space then he came back

with a little toy he cherished as a boy

"I'm sorry, I hope you feel better. Heres my toy maybe youll feel better holding it. It worked when i was sad" he said in his childish voice

He gently caressed your head as he repeatedly said in a warm voice "I love you"

Thomas Hewitt

Hoyt made you feel like a piece of shit

Every night and day he would remind you that you were easily replaceable and you're just like a little pet that even if you die. Thomas will find someone else

That was far from what you experienced with Thomas when he holds you gently in his arms something he wouldn't do with any other victim

But nevertheless Hoyt's bullying got the best of you

Even doing chores and even at dinner youd avoid thomas, as you said youd be eating somewhere else or you werent hungry

Hoyt was snickering and scoffing at your petty behavior as he exclaimed to Thomas that he should kill you for not being "family"

Before Thomas could break his brittle neck you stopped him with shaky hands on his shoulder

You marched back up to your shared bedroom and sulk

He would pick up on this newly found behavior as he confronts you when everyone else was asleep

Once you tell hime how you felt he caressed your cheeks looking at you with sad eyes then cuddles you in bed trying his best to comfort you.

Ghostface

He was getting way too close to a girl

Although in his part he was just befriending her to kill her sooner

But thats before you knew your boyfriend's little hobby of his

You would ignore him at school, lunch even ghosting him in text and when he would go to your house you would just lock the door and tell your parents that you werent in the mood to talk to him

One afternoon when your parents were away you were watching the news

The girl he was with was killed that night

Afraid of who might it be thinking it must be someone at your school

You hear the doorbell rang

Seeing a guy in a mask you felt shivers down your spine as you answered the door you heard a familiar voice

"Hey baby, I felt you were a bit jealous so i killed her sooner. So don't be mad at me hm? My eyes and attention are only for you babe."

As he slowly gave you the dead girl's hand and slipped her ring onto yours

[all-pacas]

Would you elaborate on a Chase in The Good Place AU? It's consuming my brain since you mentioned it and I love your AUs

I mean, mostly just an offhand comment on I'd love to have all of them be forced to attend a Chidi philosophy lecture, because it would be fascinating on so many different levels, right? Or just using the Good Place as a shorthand for "surprise! Your life was meaningless and now you're in hell! Change!"

Foreman and Cameron both seem fairly set and certain of their morals and philosophies, but are in different ways hypocritical and inconsistent. They both think of themselves as good people for sure. And I don't know how much critical self reflection either of them do.

Chase is a bit askew of the two of them, not because I think he's much more self aware, but he's also much more morally vague — he doesn't have a ton of stated values or a strict moral code, I'm not even sure how he views himself, how he'd define himself if asked. Cameron would call herself a good person. Foreman would call himself intelligent, a good person. Would Chase? Not out of some enlightened awareness, but just… everyone on the show thinks he's morally vacant, and he knows it too.

(And that's not even touching House or Wilson in the Good Place. House alone, who studies religion and philosophy and both knows his morals and his code and is incredibly ambivalent and self-hating.)

I mean, they're all going to the Bad Place. I think Chase and House would be the least surprised, on a scale: not happy or accepting, but, you know. Sure. (Especially post S6 Chase. He knows he's off to hell.)

Cameron would be horrified, and outraged. She does so much to help people! She's so nice! I think she overlooks or tries to overlook the harm she causes, the ways she can be cruel: they're accidents. They're unintentional. Intent is what matters, and her intents are always good, or at least: she tells herself that they are. Which isn't true. She can behave selfishly, she can behave unkindly. But it's very important to Cameron that she is a good person, both as something to be and something to strive towards. And she is! She is a good person! She does work hard at it! But I do think she ignores her own failings.

Foreman, for his part, strikes me as a utilitarian — he's done net good, so what does it matter if here and there he's bent a rule or hurt someone's feelings? He probably is the one who lies awake and considers himself and his place in the world and how he's doing and what he's done. He wants to be good, but he also wants to be the best, he wants to be admired. (Him and Amber are the same. If they won't like you, you have to be right.) He wants power, partially because he does have that ego; partially because it's a way of proving himself. On the whole, he is a Good Doctor, he Saves Lives, he Helps People. That should outweigh the people he's hurt or been cruel to. That should matter more.

I don't know what sort of philosophy Chase would best fit with. He falls into a sort of … nihilistic hedonism, almost: enjoying himself and wanting to have fun, but only because he also believes that if he's a burden to others he deserves death; because he's Quite Catholic and just sort of accepts when it's over he's going to hell. So what does it matter, right? If he's fucked no matter what, why not sleep around and having a good time? It's sort of a reflection of his talk with House in Cursed: if caring leads to pain, it's better not to care. If you burden others, you have failed.

So they're all in the Bad Place. There was another bus accident or something. And they get to do the fixed version of the game, reincarnating again and again until they reach enlightenment. Foreman's Bad Place seems pretty easy. He's gotta stop caring so much about the opinions of others, getting his self worth via superiority and praise. Cameron's biggest flaw, I think, is that she avoids the consequences from her actions. Runs away and uproots her life repeatedly; ignores the ways she hurts people or ignores their feelings. In a way she's too empathic: she pushes her own feelings and empathy onto others, and assumes they feel the same way she does, need nothing but what she'd need or want. I'm not sure how to make that her personal hell. Chase? He's again the hardest (after House), because I think he'd sort of just accept he was in Hell and that was that: why try to improve? Why try to change? He doesn't try, that's his biggest problem. We know he's incredibly bright, capable of solving cases on his own from early on, but he never tries (because trying means failing which means disappointing others). He stays with House for years after he should have moved on because it's safer and easier. So that's his personal hell: something to make him need to try, want to be better. Put him in a position where he has to.

[in-a-ditch-somewhere]

I, i got to know people and now i feel like i might have been too much, once again.

The term "annoying" follows me, i'd say.

If asked to explain why, it's probably because i talk a lot. I want my friends to know what i'm interested in or what i am dealing with. I don't talk to strangers or acquintances almost at all, so mostly to people i care about.

Some people don't like it, when i talk to them endlessly about life, but some give as good as they got back (i love those).

I just hate those friends, who at first seem to like listening and talking themselves, but then start asking for me to stay silent. Or just imply that i am always annoying, and that is all i'll ever be. An annoyance.

I grew up in a family where my talkative moods were ridiculed as word vomit. And then told that me not speaking was somehow bad as well.

And during these years, i got better at listening to others as well. Conciously stayed mindful about my friends that were more quiet - i don't talk over people, it's incredibly rude. And i have wonderful friends that love to chat with me for hours at a time, and never keep meetings brief with me, and i love them for that. I truly do, they don't find me as something to be fixed.

Yet, the words "word vomit", "annoying" as well as "stop talking" have branded themselves into my being as sore wounds.

I love to talk to those i truly care about. I don't talk to people unless they are my friends. If a friend wishes me to always stop talking, they are, to me, repeatedly trying to not be my friend. It hurts, even if i know they might not mean it like that.

The need to tell my friends about the things i care about is impossible to ignore. I do control it, make sure i'm good at conversations, have some sense every now and then when it has been a rough day for either. Learnt to write some things on paper, the things i need to work out by myself. Learnt to walk away when it was the right thing to do.

But as always, it feels completely horrible when a friend rejects a very integral part of me - it's a part of what makes me me, and i refuse to bottle up my emotions, thoughts or feelings anymore. I am not always something that needs fixing, something flawed. And if i am, then so are you. Do we have to be perfect? Why am i less than you?

Aren't we all flawed in some way? Can a personality be flawed? How is yours any better than mine? Who made you believe that way? _who?_

~

I talked too much to you because i was too excited to see you. I'm sorry.

[tom-holland-parker]

What Baby??

Summary: Dating the leader of the toughest gang in London was bound to gain you enemies. So after one particular encounter Y/N in sent to the hospital to recover but they didn’t expect this news

Pairing: Mob!Tom x reader

Warning: Car crash, slight mention of violence

Word count: 1453

Masterlist

The day started off so normal. Well as normal as it gets for the Mobster’s girlfriend. The morning was filled with boring meetings that you spent half asleep in your boyfriend's lap. Your head resting on his shoulder as his hand rubbed your thigh as a way to stay calm. But towards the afternoon you were bored with the constant meetings that had nothing to do with you. As the room began to fill up again you got up from Tom’s lap. “What’s wrong love?” He looked up worried

You shook your head bending down to give him a kiss, “I’m going shopping”. He nodded his head in understanding. “Take Harry with you” 

You rolled your eyes at how protective he was but didn’t argue as Harry stood from his spot at the table. After you got changed you met Harry in the garage. He stood by the black range rover waiting for you to get in the passenger side. “Harry when are you gonna let me drive?” 

He looked at you and laughed, “Not after last time, you almost killed us”. You faked a shocked expression, “The speed limit is a suggestion” 

He rolled his eyes and pulled out the driveway. Harry already knew your usual shopping spots considering you and him went shopping together at least once a week. It was fun to be with Harry. He was like the older brother you never had. It also helped that he always knew all the information that Tom didn’t tell you. 

“So Harry” You turned towards him as he stared on the road, “Tom’s been so on edge lately. Any idea why?” 

He glanced at you before looking at the road, “Y/N I love you but I'm not telling you anything”. You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness. “Oh come on I just want to help him relax but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on” 

Harry sighed, “I’m only telling you this because I care about my brother” he stopped at the red light and turned to you. “Tom’s currently fighting with another Mob and they have a history of being extremely violent so he’s just worried for the family” 

You sat in your seat trying to think of something to say. Terrible thoughts entered your head, “Oh”. Now you understood why Tom brushed you off every time you asked him about how stressed he was. “Don’t worry I know Tom he can fix this. I have faith in him” 

Harry chuckled and parked the car. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. You’re overthinking now” You smiled, “Nothing a little retail therapy can’t fix”. He chuckled as you both got out of the car and walked into the expensive stores. 

///

“We need to go out soon because I need an excuse to wear those shoes” You joked as you put the shopping bags in the trunk of the car. 

“Your feet are gonna hurt before the end of the night” Harry joked as he got into the driver side. You sat in the passenger seat fixing your lipgloss as he pulled out the parking spot and began driving home. You rolled your eyes at how slow he drove. “Harry you drive like a grandma, speed up” 

He smirked and glanced at you, “Like this?” The car suddenly sped up. The monitor going from 45 to 90 in a matter of seconds. You were glad there were no cars on the long road. “Faster” You shouted as you turned up the music. He chuckled a sped up a little more, now going 95 mph.

As you got closer to the crowded street you began to wonder why he hadn’t slowed down. Turning to him you saw a look of worry on his face, “Harry slow down” You begged

“I can’t” he shouted repeatedly stomping his foot on the break, “The breaks aren’t working��

Your eyes widened in fear. “Put your seatbelt on” He shouted, still trying to get the car to work correctly. You did as you were told, putting the seat belt on before turning to him, the car began to swerve uncontrollably off the road into the line of trees. You grabbed his hand wanting some sort of comfort as the car hit the tree. 

///

Everything around you was blurry and white. It took you a few minutes to realize you were in the hospital only coming to the realization when you tried to move. The IV hurt more every time you tried to move. When you finally sat up your head felt like it was going to explode. You grabbed your glasses from the nightstand by your table hoping they would relieve your headache. 

“Oh thank god you're up” You heard your boyfriend's worried voice fill the room as you turned to look at him. He looked terrible like he hadn’t slept at all. “I was so worried about you” 

He went to pull you in for a hug but stopped realizing you were in pain, “I’ll tell the nurse you’re awake” He rushed out the room returning moments later with the nurse. She checked your IV and grabbed the clipboard by the bed before leaving to get the doctor. 

You turned to Tom, “What happened? How long have I been here?” 

He sat at the edge of the bed, his hand rubbing your shin through the thin blanket. “You’ve been here for a few hours'' he looked at his phone then back at you, “car crashed” 

“What about my shoes?” you joked hoping it would lighten the mood in the room. He chuckled, “only you would think about shoes when your stuck in a hospital bed with a broken leg and a concussion”

You smiled, “They were nice shoes”. He sighed looking at you, “The brakes on the car were cut and that’s why Harry couldn’t stop the car.” 

You sat up pulling the blanket off, “I have to go see Harry” Tom grabbed your arm stopping you from jumping out the bed, “Harry is completely fine the car crashed more on your side so you suffered more damage”

He looked at the door then back at you, “nothing but a broken wrist and a few bruises for him”. You took a deep breath before sitting back into the bed. Tom ran his hands through his hair as tears began to form in his eyes. “I don’t know what I would do without you guys” 

You reached to hug him holding his head to your chest. “Don’t worry everything is okay” 

“This is my fault” Tears travelled down his cheeks and he shook his head in shame, “I should’ve been with you” 

“Tom stop” You lifted his head, “Look things like this happen and I know that you’ll make sure they never happen again” You kissed him softly, “I love you”. You wiped his tear away before kissing him again, “I love you too” He whispered holding you closer. You laid in each other's arms for a few minutes before the doctor entered the room. 

“Ah Mrs. Holland” Even though you weren’t married to Tom everyone still called you that, “I'm glad you’re awake”. Tom got up from besides you staring at the doctor. “It seems I have good news and bad” 

He looked at your file before looking between you and Tom. “bad news first” You demanded wanting to get it over with. 

“Well you’re going to be on bedrest for a couple months while you recover”. You sighed knowing that bedrest is going to drive you insane. 

“And the good news?” Tom asked as he grabbed your hand. The doctor smiled, “Your baby is perfectly fine” Your eyes widened in shock. You and Tom looked at each other before slowly looking back at the doctor. “What baby?” You both shouted at the same time

The doctor chuckled nervously, “You’re 3 months pregnant” 

“No no no I can’t be pregnant” You said in disbelief, “I’ve been getting my period and we use condoms plus I'm on birth control” You tried to think of any flaw in his facts. 

“Well there was that one time” Tom said quietly. Your head shot towards him, “What time?” 

“3 months ago, that would’ve been your birthday” Your eyes widened as you remembered how drunk you both were on your birthday. There were no more condoms but you too were too in the moment to care. 

“Omg my god I’m pregnant” You said in shock before reality hit, “OMG IM PREGNANT”

All the pain had temporarily been forgotten as you jumped to hug Tom tears of joy falling down both your faces. The doctor chuckled, “I’ll go tell your family they can see you now”

[tempenensis]

Jujutsu Kaisen Light Novel #2

Firstly, @bonsai62​ provides me with raw text of this - so thank you very much! This is the first eight pages of the first chapter from the second light novel. That being said, I don’t know how much I get this translation right, but enjoy anyway. Though this is cut at bad point lol

The title of the light novel is Thorny Road at Dawn. Text in bold means that it is spoken in English. 

Chapter 1: Nobara and Toge

.

“About Toge?”

August has begun.

Under the overlapping form of trees in the schoolyard, Panda asks back to Kugisaki who he has been holding on his arm and turning over 180 degree.

For the upcoming exchange event, Fushiguro is also working hard to train as participating first year.

He is in the middle of training with assumption that one-vs-one sorcerer combat can break especially during the fight.

Even though she is training, Kugisaki is now thrown towards Panda – repeatedly thrown towards him in a stage. But because it seems that her motivation is high, she’s become into it, as long as in the end she can be successful facing Todo and Mai even just a little bit.

“Yes. I understand Maki-san is worth of my respect. I also know that Panda-senpai is sorcerer with ability.”

“I also want you to say the same thing about me like Maki.”

Kugisaki answers as she stands up and brushes away leaves attached to her jersey.

“I respect you. I’m not saying bullshit about Panda-san.” (1)

“Well, if you become able to chat while being blown away, I’ll praise you.”

“My body can easily remember just blown like this.”

“Hooon. Then”

Panda looks around, confirming that Toge who went to pharmacy has not come back.

“What about Toge?”

“What kind of senpai is he?”

“Eh, you don’t know from talking to him?”

“Not that I don’t understand. Well, I know he is not a bad person, but if all his vocabularies are riceball fillings, talking with him will be limited, right?”

“We already get too used to it, right Maki?”

“Aah. Now that you say it, it naturally becomes question.”

Maki is spinning around a staff, sending a sympathetic look to Fushiguro after she lightly avoids Fushiguro’s attack and land a small hit on his head.

“It hurts…”

“You are thinking too much again with your head.”

Maki joins the conversation as she glances at groaning Fushiguro. Out of breath but clean of dust, she circles around Panda calmly.

“Among us maybe he is the best at taking care.”

“Yeah, he has a bright personality (2). If you exclude Yuuta, then he is the number one good person in our year.”

“His flaw is that he can get carried away a little.” (3)

“Is he?”

“You are the one who always get carried away when we are together, that’s why you don’t know.”

“That’s unexpected. We are not like that though. We like to join in the fun.”

Kugisaki’s body fitness is finally reaching that point where she can chat while doing her training. Even then, the second years who are lightly talking among them without difficulty remembers existence of Kugisaki of August (4) in the nearby stage.

Just a bit when Panda’s attention is at Maki as they converse, Kugisaki tries to do a feint from the side and mixes it with an upper but—

“Anyway.”

“Geh.”

Panda sways easily, then he hesitates a little before swipe Kugisaki’s feet in sobat-like (5) kick.

Kugisaki, whose pivot foot collapses, falls down rolling. Her body becomes totally irresponsive. In several weeks here, it’s a movement that she kept thought she could do.

That said she becomes irresponsive and she can’t win the match.

As he looks down at Kugisaki who makes a discouraged face, Panda opens his mouth.

“Toge is a good guy. That alone you should know.”

“….I see.”

More than that, her body has become irresponsive and her back is hurting.

The frequency of her falling down sloppily has not reduced, also buying a replacement jersey have also becomes necessary -- Kugisaki at summer time thinks with melancholy.

.---.

The story continues when it has turn to fall.

After the incident of Yasohachi has passed, there’s a brief spare time.

At that day, Kugisaki is alone in Shibuya.

Fushiguro is locking himself up and reading in his room as he is still exhausted after he overexerted himself.

Itadori has gone out to watch a maniac movie in a cinema currently doing a whole-building screening.

Maki is currently on a mission different from Yasohachi bridge, so she can’t meet her conveniently in a while. Kugisaki who completely doesn’t have a plan, aims to go shopping to make-up and clothes shops which are hard to go with boys, then buy daily necessities.

“Winter clothes set, winter shoes, inner and foundation and…”

Grasping paper bags in both hands, she lifts them up as she confirms her haul today.

She doesn’t think she bought too much, but she has walked more than she had planned. Maybe wearing the pin heel boots she bought the other day is a bit mistake.

But it is a rare chance that she gets to go out and shop alone. There’s a lot she still needs to buy.

Kugisaki is thinking to go looking for bags next as she walks in traffic jam.

When she had just arrived in Tokyo, it all seemed to be glittering scenery. After around three months has passed, she gets used to it a lot, used to hearing noisy sounds.

That being said, it is a backside of being busy and lively. It’s a thing that’s called taste of convenience.

“And that, it is really a masterpiece.”

“Doesn’t it make you angry?”

“Hey, hey. Girl, are you alone? Are you free?”

“I’m in a hurry.”

“Salmon.”

“We’re opening a new shop! Please take care of us.”

“Are you not going to eat?”

“How much are you going to eat?!”

“It’s damned boring, how about we skip work today?”

“Mama, buy me that!”

A lot of voices. It’s an intersection where a lot of life collides.

There are daily life as many as the number of people, there are worlds as many as the number of people. In the city where many wills and voices flying around, of course there will be a lot of people who is feeling gloomy – but not Kugisaki.

For her who has a firm sense of self, she understands that everyone has their own way of living in the hustle bustle of the city, it even feels like a kindness.

Now that she thinks about it, the village where she comes from was suffocating.

An exclusivity that imitate the people who had come before (6). An ecosystem long existed that doesn’t recognize individuality of a person. A closed world that gently rot — exists there in that village, Kugisaki thinks.

Compared to the crowd of the city, it is tough yet she can live with freedom.

In the city, someone says that the concern towards other people is weak. Kugisaki laughs, thinking that is wonderful. She has her own way and won’t blame anyone over it. She will stand and walk with her own foot.

However, mixing in the city crowd during the holiday, a mysterious chance can happen.

“Hm?”

Kugisaki who walks towards the direction of Shibuya Hikarie (7) in the lane across the street, makes a face of remembering something as she found him. It is the only one of her acquittances who hides lower half of mouth with closed overly long collar.

It’s Inumaki Toge.

There is also another one. A male foreign tourist with thoughtful blue eyes who can’t be someone familiar. Kugisaki becomes interested on the exchange between the foreigner and Inumaki.

“What are they talking about?”

Kugisaki changes her destination, then crosses the road when the traffic lamp changes at the right timing, and strolls towards Inumaki. When she is near them, she overhears their talk.

“I’d like to go to SHIBUYA109.” (8)

“Salmon salmon.”

“Could you tell me where I can get a taxi?”

“Salmon roe.”

“Ah… Which way should we go?”

“Seaweed.”

“Ah…I, want to go. 109 (9). Please. Ok?”

“Salmon.”

“Shake?” (10)

“….Salmon?” (11)

“….Salmon!? Why?”

“Okaka…..” (12)

“Ee…?”

For some reason, in Kugisaki’s guess ten times over, it has become a troublesome situation.

She knows that Inumaki, who is a cursed speech user, only speaks in onigiri fillings to avoid sudden outburst of curse. How come that he is asked by foreigner tourist for direction.

No, Inumaki can use Inumaki’s way of showing the way – he points his finger and gestures using his body and hands. With that, she wonders if the foreigner becomes impatient (13) as Kugisaki decides to get in between the two of them.

“What are you doing, senpai?”

“Tunamayo.”

“It can’t be ‘tunamayo’. Jeez.”

“Oh! Geisha girl!”

“Who the heck is geisha girl?!”

.

.

--- tbc (hopefully can do more)

(1) More literally, she is saying things about Panda that “doesn’t smell like fairy tale” (2) “His root is bright” is the literal translation (3) 悪ノリ (akunori) is a bit hard to be translated. It’s like, getting carried away in mischievous manner. (4) Overheated Kugisaki lol (5) Sobat : back kick in wrestling (6) literally “To follow the right” (7) A skyscraper in Shibuya (8) A department store in Shibuya (9) Spoken in broken Japanese lol. (10) Shake = salmon. He repeats what Toge said to him. In Inumaki’s language means “yes” (11) Salmon, as in engrish lol (12) Okaka = chopped katsuobushi, in Inumaki’s language means “no” (13) literally, “becomes hot”

[lonelyyinchicago]

“can i add to your collection?”

james stood in front of the mirror, pulling at the dark tufts of hair anxiously. he decided to abandon the uncontrollable mess that was his hair and return to his room. he changed out of his joggers into a white cotton shirt and blue jeans before pulling his worn-out converse out from under his bed.

the doorbell rang as he entered the kitchen. turning on his heel, he opened the door to see regulus on his front step, holding a bottle of wine.

regulus smiled up at him, clearly aware of the effect the black skinny jeans and dark green silk shirt were having on james.

“it’s your favourite” regulus said, holding out the bottle. “are we going to go out then?”

“i- yeah. mhmm yeah.”

“okay” regulus said, extending his hand, “the taxi’s waiting.”

“you look so good” james said in the lift down to the carpark.

“yeah and you wore converse.”

“shut up” james said with a shake of his head.

“and your hair’s still a mess.”

“i tried, okay? it doesn’t behave.”

regulus watched amusedly as james turned to see his reflection in the mirror in the lift. his heavily ringed fingers slid across james’ chest as he rested his forehead against james’ muscular back.

“just leave it” regulus said eventually, after james failed to make his hair stay still.

james turned in regulus’ arms, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s head. regulus looked up at his boyfriend, his hands travelling freely up and down james’ back.

“you do look good.”

“only good?” james asked in a voice of false hurt. “is that all?”

regulus rolled his eyes but stood up on his tiptoes to reach james’ lips. he smiled against james’ them, his hand wrapped possessively around his boyfriend’s neck. they only pulled apart as the lift doors opened, exposing them to the waiting taxi driver.

a slight blush appeared on regulus’ pale cheeks, as he led the way confidently to the car. they pulled up twenty minutes later outside their favourite italian.

the waitress showed them to a small, enclosed booth. it was dimly lit, and james squinted at the menu. their ankles brushed softly against each other, disguised by the darkness and long tablecloth.

“can you order for me? i want to use the bathroom.”

“yeah, sure - but you gotta tell me what you want first.”

“a glass of red, and pepperoni pizza please.”

“you got it” james said, leaning around the corner of the bench to try and get the waitress’ attention.

“would you like me to come back when your-”

“no, that’s okay; he told me what he’d like. so can i get a glass of the house red, a pepperoni pizza, a spaghetti carbonara and a gin and tonic please.”

“okay. food should be ready in about half an hour.”

james nodded as he handed the menus back. regulus slid onto the bench opposite almost immediately after she left.

“you okay?” james asked as regulus fiddled with the numerous silver rings spread across his fingers.

“hmm? oh, yeah. i’m okay.”

“hey.” james reached across the table, gently enveloping regulus’ hands in his own warm ones. “we can go if you want.”

“i don’t want to do that. seriously, i’m fine.”

james shook his head disbelievingly but retracted his hands as the plates arrived.

“ugh yours looks so good” regulus complained as james picked at the small pieces of bacon. “can i-?” he asked, leaning over the table towards james’ pasta.

“help yourself” james said, nudging the plate closer.

regulus let a small smile play at his lips as he wrapped the pasta around his fork, the utensil hitting the silver rings softly between each twirl.

james watched the quick movements as he attempted to pick up his own mouthful of pasta. he watched regulus’ slender fingers move effortlessly, before regulus dropped the fork, staring back at james.

“what?” he asked defiantly.

“nothing. can i have some of the pizza?”

“mhmm. this pasta is literally so good.”

“i know; that’s why i ordered it” james teased.

“okay okay i’ll stop.”

“you know i don’t mind really” james said, opening his mouth for regulus to give him a perfectly sized mouthful of pasta. “especially when you do that.”

taking back his plate, regulus picked up a slice of pizza, balancing it delicately on his pale fingertips. james watched a trickle of orange oil dribble down the length of one regulus’ fingers, coming to a sudden halt as it hit the snake-shaped band of silver on his thumb.

wiping his mouth quickly, james reached into his pocket for his wallet. he looked down at the small silver band he’d been carrying around for the last month or so. he gently removed it from the wallet, repeatedly turning it over in his fingers under the table.

“hey, err reg?” james’ voice cracked slightly as regulus looked up at him, the poor lighting combined with his long curls covering half of his face.

“c-can i add to your collection?” he asked, finally bringing his hands above the table, the small ring between his thumb and forefinger.

“james.”

regulus’ voice was hushed; barely audible. his eyes were floating between james’ and the ring. he exhaled shakily, reaching out across the table.

regulus seemed to take forever to answer, and james dipped his head as tears began to pool in his eyes.

“i-i’m sorry. it was probably terrible timi-”

“james.” the seriousness of regulus’ tone forced james to look up. “yes. baby, i’m saying yes.”

“really? a-are you sure?”

regulus rolled his eyes slightly, before moving onto the bench next to james. he extended his hand to allow james to slide the ring onto his fourth finger. he looked down at it before leaning forward to plant a firm kiss on james’ lips.

“yes” he breathed, his lips still against james’. “yes, yes, yes.”

james’ grin returned as regulus ran his thumb along his jawline.

“i love you.”

“i love you too” regulus assured him. “don’t you dare forget it.”

“do you want to come back to mine? there’s wine there” james added.

“how could i say no.”

james’ smile widened as they left the restaurant, apparating directly to his block of flats.

“couldn’t you have got us a bit higher? so we don’t have to climb all the stairs?”

without warning, regulus’ feet left the ground as james scooped him up, carrying him to his door on the fifth floor.

“i didn’t mean . . put me down.”

“or what?” james asked, his eyebrow raised. “what are you going to do from there?”

regulus buried his head in james’ chest, unable to hide his smile. he tightened his grip around james’ neck as they sat down on the sofa, breathing in the well-known and comforting smell of his aftershave.

sat across james’ lap, regulus looked down at his boyfriend before leaving a trail of kisses along james neck. regulus paused to undo the buttons of james’ shirt before continuing to his collarbone.

james’ hands found themselves around regulus’ waist, his fingers ghosting over the pale skin.

james opened his eyes as regulus’ lips abandoned his skin for the second time.

“you okay?”

regulus sat quietly for a moment before answering the question carefully.

“i have never been better - and it’s all because of you, so thank you.”

“eugh you softie” james said, pretending to gag. “i- ohhhmph”

james quickly shut up as regulus tugged at a gathering of hair, determined to disprove the nickname ‘softie’.

“i take it back” james amended, gasping as his boyfriend bit his lower lip.

“not a softie” regulus told him between kisses. “that’s what the rings are for.”

“apart from that one” james noted, pointing to the newest in the collection. “that one means that you agreed to spend your life with one person because you adore them, and you’re willing to put up with their flaws - although you don’t have to worry about that part because i don’t have any flaws.”

“is that so?” regulus asked, questioning james’ logic. “well that’s okay with me - i like that one the best.”

james picked up regulus’ left hand, raising it to his lips, which gently brushed over the ring.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you too baby, and d-”

“don’t ever forget it?” james suggested.

“i’m going to make sure you don’t” regulus informed him.

“do you promise?”

“i do.”

“you’re not supposed to say that yet” james told him. “but i appreciate the sentiment.”

regulus leant across the sofa to pick up a pillow, before bringing it hard into james’ face.

“would you just let me tell you i love you?”

“sorry. yes, i’m listening.”

“i love you, james potter, and i am honoured that you chose me to spend your life with, because god knows i don’t deserve someone as generous and kind-hearted as you. and i love you because you loved me when i didn’t even love myself, and because you refused to let me go even when i told you to and because you’re the clumsiest hopeless romantic ever whose warmth knows no bounds. i love you so much, and i’m still working on being good enough for you, but one day maybe i’ll get there, so thank you for staying in the meantime.”

james sat in silence, taking in every word. his hands had moved subconsciously to encompass regulus’ entire body.

“you are good enough for me. you’re so much more than just good. you’re the bravest person i know, and don’t lie to yourself, you’re a hopeless romantic too.”

“am not.”

james grinned, and regulus was forced to concede a smile. he shook his head as james sat up straighter to reconnect their lips, his eyes unable to look anywhere other than the newest silver ring on his hand.

[dreamteamspace]

We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨

(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)

1. Self-esteem

I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.

At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.

He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.

He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.

2. Morality

He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!

Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.

Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.

He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.

Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.

Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.

He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).

And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.

He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.

Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.

And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.

He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).

3. Fandom

He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.

He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.

He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.

Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!

4. ND/Adhd

He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).

When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.

There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!

He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).

Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.

5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs

Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.

Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.

What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.

He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.

An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.

But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-

Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-

6. Friends!!

Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.

He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.

I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,

And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,

Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,

7. Vulnerability

What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.

What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.

I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.

Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.

8. Pure Brainrot

Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....

He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken

[sam-t-a]

Okay. 

*Deep breath* 

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it. 

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me). 

Cha Young: 

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc. 

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT. 

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be. 

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes. 

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him. 

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers. 

Han Seo: 

I was among the minority that  hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo’s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could. 

Which brings me to Han Seok. 

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother. 

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically). 

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent). 

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier. 

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”. 

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.) 

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did. 

2) Babel vs Mafia 

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be. 

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived. 

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo? 

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in! 

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general. 

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is. 

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making). 

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity. 

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you. 

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them? 

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

[mimisempai]

Do you really care for me or is it just a trick?

Summary:

Loki, destabilized by the versatile behavior of Mobius, can't figure out if the man really cares about him or if Loki is just a means to an end for him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32050993

1392 words - Rating G

"Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things."

Loki, with his head pressed against the door, managed to hear a few fragments of the conversation between Mobius and Ravonna, the judge of the TVA who seemed to be his superior.

"But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.

Loki couldn't even blame her for saying that, she was just one in a long list of people who thought they knew him.

"That is the part he plays on the Sacred Timeline."

Especially since for this "world" -he didn't even know what to call it- it was apparently his destiny. So here even less than anywhere else, no one would try to find out if he was someone else.

"Maybe he wants to mix it up."

Until this particular odd man.

The first person to question his destiny.

Loki didn't understand Mobius. He seemed convinced that Loki was someone else and yet believed hard that the Time Keepers and all that crap was real.

Mobius was to Loki a strange mixture of candor and trickery.

He had never met anyone like that.

"Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part."

If he only knew...

Hearing nothing more distinct, Loki returned to sit where Mobius had left him.

He had to admit that once again the man had read him perfectly, and that scared him a little. No one until now had really been able to see beyond his antics.

He had to try to take control, he couldn't let anyone see his flaws. The other man had already seen too much.

So when Mobius came out of his superior's office, Loki went straight on the attack.

He jumped around the advancing man and tried to lock him in a stream of words, "You're probably wondering what happened out on the mission. That was your first lesson in catching a Loki. Half the fun of being a trickster is knowing everyone knows you're a trickster, and then, many of your tricks can come from exploiting the fact that you know that they know..."

Mobius raised his arms to stop him, "Okay. Just… just shut up!"

Oh, this was getting interesting, for the first time, the man was breaking out of his smile and showed an uncontrolled emotion.

Oblivious to what was going on in Loki's head, he continued, "Please. What happened to the guy I met on the elevator? Who didn't like to talk. Remember him? Now I'm stuck with this guy who won't stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick!"

What a hypocrite, he was the one who had told him that he wanted to know what makes a Loki tick. And now that he had it, he didn't want it anymore?

Loki asked him, "What? Isn't that precisely why I'm here?"

Mobius, annoyed, replied, "No. I don't care what makes you tick. You're here to help me catch the superior version of yourself."

This was it.

Loki should have known better.

It had been another smoke and mirrors. Mobius had only told him that, made him think he was interested in Loki, to achieve his goal. Loki was only a means to an end.

He wouldn't show him. Loki wouldn't show him that he was troubled.

Mobius added to make his point,"That's it!"

Loki tried to stop him, "Hang on. I'm not sure 'superior' is actually quite the right word."

They stopped in front of the elevator, face to face.

Mobius got even more annoyed and retorted, "See? There it is. Right there. I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not 'cause you care about the TVA mission or bein' a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you and you can't take it."

Wow, talk about a low blow.

Loki smiled, deceptively of course and replied, "Very nice."

Then he approached Mobius, and adjusted the man's tie as he spoke, "I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me.  I'm ten steps ahead of you. I've been playing a game of my own all along."

If Mobius believed that he was Loki as the world saw him, willing to whore himself out to get what he wanted, well, he'd let him believe it.

Mobius replied, that familiar smirk on his lips, "What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA?"

Well done Loki. Mobius has proven to you once again that men and gods are all the same.They don't care who you are, they just want to fool you. You are not disappointed.

"Am I getting warm? A double cross by history's most reliable liar." Mobius added while going to call the elevator.

However, in spite of all this, something didn't add up. If Loki was just a means to an end for Mobius, then why bother defending him like that in front of Ravonna?

Loki couldn't help but ask him, "Okay. Why are you in there sticking your neck out for me?"

Mobius came back to him and replied vehemently, "I'll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want. A, because I see a scared little boy shivering in the cold. And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt. Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I'll tell you whatever I need to tell you."

Wow, when Mobius was pissed, he didn't mince words. But no matter how much it hurt, no matter how condescending it sounded, Loki wanted to believe in answer A. To believe that, as Loki thought just before, Mobius was the person who was able to see who Loki was.

But that meant doing something Loki had never done.

Trusting.

As the elevator doors closed, he couldn't help but make another brash statement, "I don't need your sympathy," because he wasn't going to be pitied.

Mobius replied in a tired tone, "Good, 'cause I'm runnin' out of it."

Loki continued on, "I have a tendency to provoke this reaction in-"

"Oh once again, shut up!"

Loki replied with a mocking smile on his lips, "Make me."

And it was as if a dam broke in Mobius.

He grabbed Loki's tie to pull him to him and before the god had time to wonder what he was doing, Mobius leaned in and placed his lips against Loki's.

The kiss was sweet but messy, their lips moved together repeatedly, both coordinated and chaotic. Just like them.

Mobius didn't pull back until Loki grabbed the front of his shirt and squeezed the fabric in both hands. Mobius looked at him and couldn't help but laugh as they bumped noses together, a flush spread across Loki's cheeks and nose, which contrasted with the paleness of his skin in the dim light of the elevator.

Loki stared at him with wide eyes and a stunned look.

It seemed that Mobius had succeeded in silencing him.

Mobius let go of him, smiled, and went out the doors that had just opened.

Loki held him back by the sleeve.

"Wait, what was that for?"

Mobius put a finger over Loki's mouth before telling him, "Well, you asked me to make you shut up, mission completed."

Loki lost his smile and asked in a lower voice, "Was it just for that reason?"

Mobius pushed a strand of Loki's hair behind his ear, then as he walked back, he replied in a mysterious tone, "Who knows?"

Loki ran behind him until he was walking beside him, closer than before.

"You know that's not going to stop me from talking, right?"

He knew he was trying to hold on to a twig, but he couldn't help but hope.

Mobius turned his head towards him and said, a playful sparkle in his eyes, "I sure hope so, the more you talk, the more I'm going to want to shut you up, and now that I know how, I'm not going to stop myself from doing it."

"And that' s me the God of Mischief...?!!"

Loki rolled his eyes, but his smile wouldn't fool anyone, and it didn't fool Mobius, who just gave him a little nudge with his shoulder.

So for now, Loki decided to let go, just a little, to let hope take a little place in his heart.

________

The whole serie here : The story of Loki and Mobius

Not beta'd

I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

[theseerasures]

For the meta thing, how about big sisters with absent mothers: Winter and Yang? Like, how they dealt with things differently and what a friendship between them would look like

anon i just want you to know that as soon as received this ask i barged into my girlfriend’s room to be like “is this you???” because this ask is so EXQUISITELY tailored to my personal interests that i was like “literally who else would cater to me like this” and it was not her, apparently!!! so thank you very much for this ask.

of course i have SO MANY thoughts about this topic that it took me a complete month to marshal them into something faintly coherent, if staggeringly long, so. i hope it’s worth the wait.

S(chnee)-side: how to lose brothers and alienate sisters

let’s start from some well-trodden ground: the season 5 character shorts, and their subsequent caricaturization via Chibi, which posit the Yang vs. Winter dichotomy as something like “Yang loves Ruby by diving into a monster’s mouth for her, and telling her she always has her back, and Winter does the same for Weiss by...siccing monsters on her, and telling her that she won’t always be around to save her from them.” much hay has already been made about the reasons why the two of them would act in the ways they did, so for the purposes of my own meta i’m going to skip over those, and concentrate on how content since season 5 has updated these conceptions.

and on Winter’s end of things, these conceptions have been updated by showing that she’s, uh.

...full of shit.

we’ve now had TWO instances of Winter going above and beyond to protect someone vulnerable. the first time was for Penny, with whom she has a sisterly bond, and the second time was for Ren, with whom she has...exchanged a few lines of dialogue. if she’s so ready and willing to hurl herself bodily into the path of an aggressor for someone who is basically a stranger, then why all the pageantry with Weiss about how she can’t (or won’t) save her? did she carve some kind of blood relative exemption into her saving people thing? does it only apply to people who wear a lot of green?¹

to properly address this question--and to bring in the Willow of it all--i think we should step back and ask: how does Winter actually feel about the Schnee name?

not Jacques’ name, mind. nor anything he did to besmirch it. Willow’s name, and Winter’s birthright.

because what has always been interesting to me is that while Weiss has talked about reclaiming or rehabilitating the Schnee name from their father’s meddling and still clearly wants to reconcile herself with it, even after being disinherited, Winter has only ever talked about distancing. it’s entirely possible that she had similar aspirations when she was around Weiss’ age and was just more thoroughly disabused of them, but my point stands: Winter shows a discomfort with the Schnee name overall in a way that Weiss has yet to. you don’t have to look any further than Winter’s combat style to see how this discomfort is telegraphed, as she barely uses any Dust, or Glyphs, and the one aspect of her Semblance that she does use and tout are Summons, which just so happens to be the part that emphasizes her own individual ability to conquer foes. something about the Schnee name feels irreconcilably tainted for Winter,² and while i’m sure a large part of it has to do with her father, who can make her explode into emotion confetti by just being in the same room as her for thirty seconds, a not-insignificant part can probably be chalked up to the fact that...

Willow Schnee was probably never all that good a mother.

granted: we’ve have exactly one scene (two if you count the 8.2 sneak peek) with her, so i’m fully ready to be called Boo Boo the Fool if we get a flashback and Willow was some kind of crusading super-mom prior to her descent into alcoholism, but. the idea that she hasn’t ALWAYS had to compromise herself and her children just to get by feels facile. this is not to victim blame, but to say that Willow is an imperfect person (in that she is. a person) placed into a horrific situation, which means that she could not always deal with the situation perfectly. it’s important to remember her agency--both before and after she became an alcoholic--but it’s just as important not to idealize it into something it’s not. Willow was by no means a co-abuser to her children, but she was probably always inconsistent, because living with your abuser for years on end does that to you. personally, i’ve always envisioned pre-alcoholism Willow as...well-meaning and much more perceptive and intelligent than people give her credit for, but beset with her own flaws that grew in proportion to her hurt and bitterness. she was capable of shielding her children from her husband’s worst excesses, and often did; but she was just as capable of retreating when she might have fought, of excusing Jacques’ actions to try to keep the peace, even of lashing out at those who shouldn’t have to handle her negative emotions.

her descent into alcoholism exacerbated these tendencies, but Willow has always been a complicated woman, and the idea that there was a prelapsarian time when Willow was an unmitigated good, before...idk, her Good battery ran out and she became Drunk Victim Non-Mom, is...well, it’s definitely something that a ten-year-old who had an ENORMOUSLY traumatic birthday would believe (and blame herself for), but Winter might disagree. i don’t think her view would be any more objective, if only because the day Winter Schnee has an un-myopic thought is the day i pass gracefully into the West, but her view is probably more complicated and less flattering, because Winter knew her mother more as a person, and that’s something we’re gonna talk about more with Yang and Ruby, later.

the point i want to make now, with Winter, is that her determined inconstancy, where she’ll readily jump into the jaws of a monster for her siblings in one breath and berate them and caution them against needing her in the next--that comes from her experience with Willow. the lesson she wants her siblings to learn is not just “the people who are supposed to love you are cruel, so get a helmet,” but “the people who are supposed to love you disappoint you, which is worse, so it’s better to not rely on them at all.”³ better for them to learn it from her than firsthand, but also--better for herself, because when she does disappoint them (and she did. she left.) at least she can take comfort in the fact that surely it doesn’t hurt as much; she warned them, after all.

in Winter’s mind, this kind of disappointment is an inevitability, so what’s paramount is to make sure that when it does happen her siblings are at least prepared for it. in the face of that the fact that she would actually risk life and limb to help them if they ever need it falls to the wayside; i don’t think it was a mindful decision that Winter consciously made--like, i don’t think she ever thought “i’m going to withhold the fact that i would die for them because that would contradict the whole social Darwinism thing i’m trying to drill into their heads,” because Winter’s just...not that kind of deliberate rational actor, in any arena. rather--and maybe even more damning--i think she just assumes that Weiss and Whitley already KNOW, that it’s a given for them the sacrifices she’d make for them in the same way it’s a given for her. but they don’t! because you have to say these things, and Winter has been force-feeding them the precise opposite.

ultimately all of these contradictory impulses stem from Winter’s deep-seated need for control--both of herself, and of the environments around her, and those in turn come from the fact that she was a) repeatedly wounded as a child and b) had to shoulder responsibilities far beyond her own ability as that same child, which...continues to this day. from this perspective, what matters is less keeping her siblings safe, and more her own ability to save them. she knows that’s imperfect, so she compensates by enforcing what worked for her onto them, and also by keeping them away from anything that could harm them, without their input. i never thought much of the contrast in environments for the character shorts--like of course Weiss would spar with Winter’s Summons at home like the untested shut-in she was--but what did take me aback was that in season 7, after Weiss has waltzed across an entire continent and been promoted to a full Huntress, Winter...still exclusively trains Weiss with her Summons up in Atlas, while Ruby and Yang are traipsing across Mantle killing ACTUAL Grimm. i have no doubt that this was for foreshadowing reasons, but still: it points to the fact that for all Winter loves Weiss and would fight giant monsters for her, there’s a part of her that...doesn’t trust Weiss, and wants to maintain control over her.⁴

this, i think, is part of the reason why Whitley treats her basically like an un-person: it’s not just that she left when he was too young and Jacques filled in all the gaps with lies and slander, it’s also that even when Winter was around the bigger age gap made it much easier for her to reconcile keeping him out of the loop, for his own good. she can’t ever be vulnerable around either of her siblings, but especially not Whitley, because he’s too young; he might let something slip when they’re around Jacques, and she shouldn’t be putting that kind of burden on him anyway. if he resents her when she’s just trying to protect him--except you said that you wouldn’t, Winter you absolute moron--then that’s his prerogative. it doesn’t change her own responsibilities. they can be miserable and Byronic in their own separate cubby holes and it’s fine.

(it’s not fine.)

R(ose)⁵-side: tonight, the role of Replacement Goldfish will be played by...everyone

let’s get one thing out of the way: Yang is a GOOD big sister, and some of the ways that she is good can be chalked up to the fact that she had a better home life, but only some. her character short ends with her promising Ruby that she’ll always have her back after spending the short proving it, and she has--until recently, and we’ll get to that--lived up to it. people get caught up on how much time Yang spends with Blake nowadays, but it’s important to remember that the entire impetus for Yang reuniting with anyone during the Mistral arc was about Ruby. so is the thing that separates a Yang from a Winter is that a Yang preaches what she practices, and isn’t firing a million zillion mixed signals at all times?

well--yeah, basically, but we’re gonna make a big thing out of it anyway.

what made Yang and Ruby different from the Schnees--even before the character shorts--was a sense of parity. in contrast to Winter insisting on maintaining a) the most unapproachable facade in the world, and b) a death-grip on every situation at all times, Yang was characterized from the outset as...chill (ironically). despite her Semblance being LITERALLY hotheadedness, Yang’s passionate energy never manifested in any real desire to take charge. the fact that she was fine (even happy!) with Ruby being bumped up to her year and then becoming leader speaks volumes to how much Yang trusts and respects Ruby’s judgement. rather than try to mask her flaws, she exudes this kind of...radiant fallibility and lets Ruby take care of her, or keep her in line. they complement each other: Yang takes care of more grounded concerns like individual fights and making friends, while Ruby--again, until recently--set more abstract goals and gave them moral direction.

a lot of this can be attributed to the smaller age gap, but i think it also comes from growing up as two motherless free-range children on an island--and the motherlessness is obviously a huge deal for both of them. when i started writing this i honestly thought i’d talk more about Raven, since she’s the mom who’s actually a character already, and her absence plays a huge role in how Yang deals with her abandonment issues in the present, but to be honest: the loss that cut the deepest for Ruby AND Yang is Summer, because Summer was actually around enough to be lost. despite the show frequently dividing custody of Team STRQ right down the middle between Ruby and Yang, where Ruby “gets” Summer and Qrow and Yang “gets” Tai and Raven, it’s the admixture of Rose and Branwen that makes the two of them who they are.⁶ Yang spent more time with Summer, but Ruby spends more time with Qrow, who is Yang’s blood uncle, so the dichotomy between nature and nurture is fascinatingly blurred.

i know this is an unpopular opinion, but i hope Summer really is dead, because the ways that her daughters interpellate their own identities from her absence drives so much of the story. that SUMMER was the first mother Yang lost--not Raven, because Yang didn’t even know about Raven until Summer died--is what shapes her relationship with Ruby, but also her relationship with Raven. what’s always simmering just below the surface of any Yang-Raven confrontation is that the person Yang actually wanted to find the whole time she was looking for Raven was Summer, because she wanted a mom, and a mom looked like Summer. Raven’s not stupid--it might be her one redeeming quality--so it’s likely that she’s always known and resented this. it’s not an accident that the moment Yang stopped looking for Raven for Raven and started looking for her for an easy conduit to her real family was the moment she actually found Raven.⁷ it was the first step to Yang outgrowing her old habits, of waiting for a mother to return--a classic “she needed a hero so that’s what she hurdy blah”

in a way that’s what she’s been doing this whole time. in contrast to Winter, who compensated for her mother’s flaws by ratifying them into universal law, Yang did the same by defying their supposed truth: people might leave her, but she won’t leave Ruby, and Ruby won’t leave her. it’s telling that whenever Yang leaves--even as a literal child--she always took Ruby with her, even if she planned on coming back. (it’s just as telling that when Winter left she didn’t.) she’ll always be there for Ruby, to give her the boost she needs to become the Summer they all want her to be, which means being a little of Summer herself--the part of Summer that baked cookies and slew monsters. and in return Ruby gave her...a sense of certainty, i think: that Ruby needs her and therefore won’t leave, but also that Ruby has the parts of Summer that Yang can’t muster herself--the grand heroic ideal, the moral certitude, etc.

...and now we’re finally gonna talk about the Schism, which i honestly think is the best thing that has happened to their relationship, development-wise. by the end of the Mistral arc Yang has arrived at a healthier perspective with respect to her relationships with everyone: now it’s not about indiscriminately giving herself away to people in the hopes that they might not leave her, but about choosing to give herself away to the people she loves and trusts. on one level this should not conflict with her relationship with Ruby at all, because Yang loves Ruby, but on another...the fact that Yang no longer feels obligated to perform unending support, to be the grounded complement, to fill in the parts of Summer that Ruby can’t--of COURSE that’s going to bring about conflict. because it turns out Yang never needed Ruby to give her direction or discipline. she’s now had time to think of the things she herself values, and those...don’t exactly match up with Ruby’s--or Summer’s.⁸ Yang, having known Summer as a mother, having been confronted repeatedly with the fallibility of mothers, is starting to outgrow Summer, and grow separately from Ruby.

but growing separately doesn’t have to mean growing apart, and i think Yang, at least, knows this. she clearly feels Some Kinda Way about their disagreement (and Blake’s implicit alignment with Ruby), but she’s also confident enough in her own beliefs by this point to commit to them. Yang’s taking charge instead of deferring to Ruby, and it turns out that...she’s actually not a bad leader herself, since she and Jaune have pretty much split a lot of those responsibilities. for her it’s not a question of losing faith or love in Ruby as a person, but about discovering what she herself fights for.

Ruby...sees it differently, because Ruby sees Summer differently. if Yang has always defined herself against Summer by deciding that she can NEVER fully be Summer, so she’ll make do with what she can, then Ruby’s always defined herself against Summer by marking Summer as the endpoint of her personal trajectory. what Ruby knows of Summer--that she was a person who enjoyed life and did not believe in original sin, that had a magical special destiny that was totally fine and awesome and didn’t drive her to her death, that she was a baker of cookies and slayer of monsters--is what Tai and Qrow--and Yang--told her about Summer, because Ruby was too young to remember the real Summer. so Summer for her is this abstract paragon to live up to, and no more. she can’t possibly exceed Summer, because the Summer Ruby knows encompasses literally all that is good.

when Yang tells Ruby “i’ve always got your back” in the short, a lot of it is about Yang, and the ways Yang needed to be there for other people so they’ll be there for her in return. but it’s also something Ruby really needed to hear, because Ruby needed the security and comfort of knowing that even if she screws up there are people around her who can help shoulder the burden. that security already took a serious hit after Yang lost her arm, but Ruby, kind and generous person that she is, was able to reconcile with that, because YANG HAD JUST LOST HER ARM. it would be ridiculous to expect Yang to have her back the way she used to, and besides--it was time she grew up, and growing up means becoming more like Summer, all of Summer, by herself.

and...she gets pretty far, is the thing, because Ruby IS a lot like Summer, and is incredible and amazing all by herself to boot, but the point is that no one should feel this much pressure to be All That Is Good, especially when you’re a teen. Ruby’s not ready to recognize that, partly because at this point so many people are looking to her for leadership, but also because being Summer’s heir is the only real link she has to her mom.⁹ so she hunkers down and does the best she can, in a situation that has far spiraled beyond anybody’s control...and then Yang tells her that it’s not working out, that this time it’s not that she can’t have Ruby’s back, but that she won’t. in Ruby’s mind, this could only mean one of two things: either Yang no longer believes what Ruby believes--what Summer believed, or...Yang no longer believes in Ruby, because she wasn’t good enough.

and well. it’s Ruby. it’s not hard to guess which reason she’s picking right now, especially since she pretty conspicuously refused to call the shots during the Amity heist.

but this is of course a false dichotomy. it’s not about which one of them is right, or even more right, and the show does a very good job with the framing to show that both of them have a point. similarly, what Ruby needs right now is neither confirmation that her long-held beliefs are objectively the best ones, nor that she is good enough to become Summer after all. no; what she needs instead is the knowledge that she’s allowed to fuck up, to deviate from what people have told her about Summer, to become what Summer never was. that’s something Yang can--and will--help her work out.

oh no this analogy is breaking apart: how they’d get along

...oi.

look, even beyond the fact that Winter doesn’t get along with ANYONE over much, i don’t think there’s any universe where she wouldn’t immediately rub Yang the wrong way. not only because Winter’d initially treat Ruby with the same cold tyranny that she (up until very recently) treats Weiss, but also because Yang’s partner is Blake, and--to say nothing of Atlas/Schnee-on-Faunus oppression--she was personally made collateral during the fallout with Blake’s abuser.¹⁰ i myself wouldn’t say that Winter abused Weiss, but to Yang’s protective and skewed view...

well, can you imagine Weiss trying to explain the way Winter ~~~trained her to the Bees? “oh, she sent a pack of Beowolves to hunt me! it was a meant-to-lose fight and when i started doing well she just moved the goalposts. one of her wolves almost ate me before i begged her to stop but it...probably...wouldn’t have...it was fine! my Aura didn’t dip THAT much. Winter’s the best!!” Yang’s hair would have been on fire after the first sentence, is all i’m saying. this coupled with the fact that Yang would very likely view Winter leaving Weiss and Whitley through the lens of Raven doing the same thing to her, and i think it would take a pretty long time for the two of them to see eye to eye on anything.

which is not to say that they have nowhere to go but antagonism, because at their cores Winter and Yang both have a) no hesitation whatsoever when it comes to protecting the people they care about and b) a tendency to define protection literally, often bodily. the difference is that Yang’s Semblance weaponizes these protective instincts for her, and she learned the limits of taking that too far. Winter...doesn’t, and hasn’t.¹¹ that COULD lead to some interesting conversations, but i don’t think Yang has quite the emotional clarity and generosity to reckon with that yet, and they’re not about to talk about it inside the Giant Whale.

a necessary part of Winter’s development is learning to respect the people around her instead of instantly categorizing them into boxes labeled “to fight” and “to protect and order around.” her friction with Yang could be an intriguing way to explore that; i have no doubt, for example, that Winter would have hurled herself between Elm and Yang just as readily as she had between Elm and Ren. similarly, i think if Winter ever were in the same room with both Raven and Yang she’d last about ten seconds before trying to rip Raven’s hair out with her teeth, because Raven is neglectful and casually demeaning in ways that are instantly recognizable to Winter (in the same way they were to Weiss).¹² the issue is that her doing any of these things for Yang--y’know, the same Yang who IMMEDIATELY gave Blake the cold shoulder when she tried to pull the whole “i’ll protect you” crap--is that she would only find it confusing and frustrating, and likely wouldn’t mince words expressing that.

Yang’s a big sister herself, and therefore knows all the big sister tricks, and Yang has a consistent pattern of not wanting to rely on other people, particularly people she sees as adults. so the best path toward a Winter and Yang friendship is probably not the head-on approach, but obliquely through someone else. that someone else can’t be Weiss, because Yang would be already hypervigilant about the way Winter treats Weiss--but it could be Ruby. even putting aside the fact that she is now one of the most important people in the world for BOTH her sisters, Ruby herself is very easy to love, and Winter loves very easily, despite herself. what they have in common--idealism and a martyr complex--would also engender some cool interactions, and Ruby would let Winter take care of her, if only to make Winter feel better.

i could see that being the impetus for Yang tentatively, grudgingly forming her own friendship with Winter, because there ARE things that Winter can give Yang, even if Yang can’t (or won’t) admit she wants them. it’s nice to try out being the kid sister, once in a while.

still, even if they get that far: i can’t imagine their relationship as anything friendlier than this.

¹ tbh neither would actually surprise me; what Winter does and doesn’t let herself do is only knowable to the Gods Who Have Forsaken This Land, and they’re certainly unknowable to Winter herself.

² maybe she knows that the whole “the Schnees were up-from-bootstraps-good-capitalists until that guy Jacques came along” thing is stupid!! i don’t care that he’s Santa Nicholas Schnee ain’t shit

³ this i think is why the current thing with Ironwood is such a bitter pill to swallow, because...she thought she’d been so careful. not in thinking that she’d chosen a man who couldn’t disappoint her, but in caring so deeply about him and investing so much of herself into him, despite the fact she’s only ever let herself call him “sir,” or “General.”

⁴ though i will say, to give Winter some credit: she actually accepts the fact that her sister is totally her own person now with a lot more aplomb than i’d expected, both in the “you stole an airship” scene and during all of Sparks. i wouldn’t be so generous as to read subtle treason into her disclosure of Ironwood’s Winter Maiden plans, but it does point to Winter’s desire for control being much more easily unlearned than that of her boss.

�� geddit? it’s a joke about handed-ness because now they both have the Hand Tremor

⁶ Tai is, as always and on purpose, the stabilizing agent. “appropriately underwhelming,” as Winter might put it, but absolutely essential.

⁷ of course then Raven had the gall to resent THAT too, because she’s the worst, and...see above, about Winter Schnee’s self-unknowing.

⁸ curiously, the values that Yang most espouses now--the importance of knowing what you’re getting into, protecting what is tangible, what is within your ability--are a) hard-won from years of taking care of Ruby and b) ones that she shares with Raven. the only difference is that Yang’s circle of protection extends far beyond Raven’s, which only includes herself.

⁹ weirdly enough the best person to talk to Ruby about this might be Raven, who has a very skewed perception of Summer herself (because Raven’s perception of EVERYONE is generally fucked up), but probably won’t hold back when talking about Summer’s flaws. Ruby won’t want to hear any of it, but i think she needs to.

¹⁰ i do think Blake and Winter would have some interesting conversations, if Blake ever...was generous enough to deal with *gestures at all of Winter.* it’s easier to compare Blake to Willow given the shared nature of their interpersonal abuse, but Winter on the other hand knows what it’s like to be hand-picked and groomed by a charismatic man with a singular vision who ended up wholly compromising that vision for the sake of their personal ego. that the White Fang are a good force perverted while the Atlesian Military is rotten to the core would...make the conversation more lively? it’s probably fine?

¹¹ “i’m Winter Schnee and i have maladaptive coping mechanisms that i am currently clinging to, as a maladaptive coping mechanism”

¹² though there...probably IS a world where Raven and Winter end up getting along after the initial skirmish, and it disturbs Yang and Qrow to no end

[asterekmess]

I’m fairly new to the Teen Wolf fandom (Dylan O’Brien is the only reason I even bothered to watch the show), but I couldn’t help to notice that there’s a scary streak of abuse apologism in the Scott McCall Defense Squad. Scott can repeatedly gaslight, belittle, victim blame and dehumanize his best friend, assault rape and abuse victims to prove how much better and superior he is, and treat everyone like shit to his heart’s content. But it’s okay! Scott did it out of love! Scott is a True Alpha!

Oh well welcome to the fandom! I’m sorry that your introduction doesn’t seem to have been all that pleasant. I’m a bit torn here, because while I know that there are fans of Scott who truly, honestly believe these things and think they’re okay, I’m also very much aware that the show is built to make them think that way.

I think I made a post recently where I talked about the show’s framing telling us repeatedly that the ends justify the means, but only when Scott is the one doing the means. When we see Derek bite the teens and train them to fight by hurting them and generally treating them like crap, in order to have a pack that could protect itself so that he wouldn’t be killed by the Argents when they come to town, it’s very clearly portrayed as bad. As it should, because however much I love Derek and the Betas, his behavior with them was inexcusable. Explainable, but inexcusable. However, when Scott does similar things, like lying to everyone around him including his best friend, and putting the same teenagers he swore to protect because “they’re innocent, that makes them my responsibility” in serious danger by working with the man who wanted them dead, or in a slightly more recent note ducttaping a terrified teenager into his bathtub, this behavior is explained AND excused. Yes, there is sound (awful) logic behind Scott’s choices both in S2 and what he did to Liam. But that doesn’t make any of it okay. Except that, the show Does say it’s okay. There are fans of the show who are Scott Fans (tm), but there are also a LOT of fans of the show who only like Scott because he’s the ‘protagonist.’ They aren’t entrenched in fandom and meta like we are. They don’t want to look past the surface and that’s okay, because just wanting to enjoy a fun show about werewolves isn’t an unreasonable request.

And for those people, there’s no reason for them to feel that Scott did anything wrong. The show Constantly tells them that he didn’t. That what he did was Just and Correct and the Right Thing to Do. While to some of us it might be incredibly obvious that what he did was awful, other people (usually people who don’t have experience with these toxic behaviors/traumas) don’t instantly make the connection between Scott making Derek bite Gerard, and the abuse Derek suffered under Kate. They just see the climax of the episode and the Plot Twist of Scott being one step ahead of Genius Gerard.

Now, for those that DO entrench themselves in fandom, who spend all that time looking at meta and examining the characters to find their motivations/construct personalities and lore about the characters and STILL do not see this behavior...them I try not to interact with. It’s toxic and it’s horrible, and it’s upsetting to deal with. It’s frustrating to know that I can look at my favorite characters and acknowledge that they did some fucked up things. Sure, I usually blame the writers, but I also accept that it DID happen and the characters aren’t perfect. I can change all I want when I write au’s or make hale pack shitposts, but I know what is canon. And for some reason, these people can’t do the same with Scott. They cannot look at him and see his flaws and toxic, disgusting mistakes, while also liking the character. If I’m being really salty, I’d say that it’s because those behaviors and that mindset is so much a part of Scott’s core being that if they ever acknowledged it, their entire view of Scott’s sweet puppy personality would crumble, and they aren’t willing to lose it. For some people, I really do think it may be about his race. Representation for mixed race kids is rare. And So Often they’re this half an episode character who dies or is the kid that peer pressures others. The villain. And Scott, however much we dislike him, IS portrayed as Teen Wolf’s Hero. I don’t blame people for wanting to see a hero in him. For clinging to that representation that they Deserve. But doing that involves outright refusing to acknowledge canon elements of Scott’s story.

I would highly suggest just staying out of that fandom space. Don’t interact with it, don’t get in fights (this is hypocritical of me bc i’ve been blocked by more than one scott fan for getting in arguments with them), just avoid it entirely. Curate your online experience so that you can enjoy fandom and feel safe with the fans you interact with.

If you ever wanna talk Sterek, my ask box is always open. XD

[reyhospacebitch]

I cant stop thinking about how everyone Daisy has ever loved, romantically or platonically, always ended up leaving her for one reason or another and even the people who *do* stay, only stay at arms length until Daniel Sousa appeared.

every time a romantic partner didnt like something she does or believes, its held against her or someone runs.

Miles? He wasnt who she thought he was yes but he didnt handle her changing well at allll. Uncompromising, he wanted her to give up the team and her mission (at the time, to find her parents) and when she refused he bolted, blaming HER even though *he* was the one who got people killed.

Ward? Omfg this was such a shit show. She blamed herself for not seeing his manipulations sooner and emotionally takes on the blame for Keonig’s death. And then the entire team judged her for having feelings for him despite not knowing in such a cringe way, Daisy was full on forced to choose Ward or Everyone Else constantly. Yet again Daisy was punished for having feelings for someone who used those feelings against her.

Lincoln? He was the most supportive of her romantic pairings but he always had one foot out the door, understandably. He hated SHIELD, had his own massively unresolved issues and overall just never really gave Daisy the support she needed. It wasnt his fault. It wasnt anyones fault. He was just young and Dealing With Shit like Daisy was. And yet Even when he sacrificed his life for her, moments before he ran from her. When she reached her breaking point and asked to go back to HIVE Lincoln’s response to her severe trauma of being mind controlled was to break up with her... And to tell her she needed to work on herself, which yes she needed therapy but 😫

for someone who was abandoned her entire life by adults for making the Smallest of mistakes (ie look at her convo with jiaying about breaking a glass at a foster home) to punish her when she needs to be hugged is the most traumatizing shit ever. And yet it happened over and over again.

And not just by boyfriends.... Repeatedly Jemma and Coulson held her feelings for Ward against her in ways that felt unfair. And what about the time she left SHIELD because Lincoln died and she couldnt handle anything anymore? The woman was suicidal and desperate. Coulson and Mack just wanted to help so they chased after her - though I honestly dont think they knew what she needed in that moment and thats why she didnt come in. However, Fitz? Fitz took her leaving as a personal attack, as her abandoning him and the team. Yes he has his own trauma around abandonment so I get why he wouldnt take it well, but he threw it in her face Multiple Times as if she had done a great ~Sin~ by leaving the team. He held it against her as a personal failing in a way that was completely unfair. SHIELD is a job. She didn’t owe SHIELD her mental health. Since joining she had experienced so much loss (her mother, father AND a boyfriend) on top of all the deaths and torture she blamed herself for AND being mind controlled and almost dying multiple times??? Her friends and family should have hugged her and sent to a good therapist, not yell at her for not handling her trauma the way *they* wanted. I adore the SHIELD family and know they are all incredibly flawed and human and thats what makes the show so meaningful but you cant deny the fact that Rarely has Daisy ever been showed unconditional love on this show.

But this is all IMPORTANT context for why Daisy is so blown away by what Daniel Sousa tells her in the time loop. The fact that he Sees her and just wants to Be There to support her? Its something Daisy has secretly always wanted but was too afraid to ask for. She’s been hurt so many times and yet here is this man who literalllly just died for her, who is now telling her he wants to always be there to pick her back up? The way this would blow Daisy’s mind and hit at some desire buried so deep she prob cant even vocalize it just makes me. 🥺 The meaningfulness of him constantly offering to help and just Be There For Her is impossible to fully explain. I just - Im so fucking soft for them.

[carrotmakar]

Congratulations

Pairing: Baseball!Harry x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Summary: When Harry sees you ‘flirting’ with a guy at one of his games, you have to reassure him that you’re his and only his.

Warning(s): Flashbacks, bias, baseballrry, jealousy, argument, poorly written smut (face fucking) {the characters at the time of the smut are seniors in high school and are 18 years old}

A/N: This is my first completely written smut and it’s not even like, actual sex, but yeah. This is definitely the first one that I’ve ever posted, so please be nice :)). I am aware that it’s definitely awful, but I had an idea and I wrote it :)).

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*

Baseball players were obnoxious. They were loud and over the top in everything that they did. They were the only team at school that actually won anything, so they thought that they were the absolute best, and they would rub that in anyone’s face whenever they got the chance. 

The part that made you hate them the most, however, was the fact that every single one of them is attractive. They were hot and they all knew it. This wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t flaunt themselves and watch all the girls fall to their knees for them.

Well, mostly all the girls. You wouldn’t be caught dead with any of the baseball players. You made that abundantly clear every chance that you got, and most of them seemed to understand. 

Actually, all of them understood except for one. The one you hated the most. The captain of the baseball team, the best looking one of all, Harry Styles. 

He was as egotistical and narcissistic as they come. He watched girls fawn over him and made it into a joke. He would see how far he could string them along before breaking it off, only to see them fall apart. 

He was a dick and you could not stand to even be in the same room as him. You rolled your eyes every time that he looked in your direction and you ignored him every time that he tried to talk to you.

Until the day that the worst thing that could have ever happened in Chemistry class unfolded. 

It was the beginning of the second semester, which meant that everyone got a new lab partner. To everyone in the class, it made absolutely no sense, but Mrs. Madison was always going on and on about the fact that the class needed to make new friends and branch out more, Which, apparently, she thought would be accomplished by making you work with a random person for an hour every day while doing labs in the absolute worst subject in school. 

Every attempt to complain about the changes, however, were completely futile. She didn’t have a single care in the world for the wants of her class, she just did what she wanted.

Which was apparently making your life a living hell.

She went through the roster, randomly assigning partners until she got to your name.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Harry Styles.” You tried your best to hide the grimace that had etched its way onto your features and the groan of frustration that was fighting to come out.You had looked over at him, hoping that he would complain and she would change partners, seeing as she had always had a soft spot for Harry, but to no avail. He had a wide grin on his face, as if hearing that sentence had made his week.

And so it started, the hour every day that would rarely be spent working, but more so to get to know one another better. At first, it had been him trying to get to know you better, but eventually, you had loosened up, had realized that if you were going to be stuck with him, then you might as well be civil.

“Come on, Y/N, just tell me something about you.” He had whined.

“What do you wanna know, Styles?” You could tell by the look in his eyes that you had caught him off guard. He had thought that he would have to work harder to get you to tell him something.

“Anything, anything at all.” He looked genuinely interested and you couldn't help but shake the feeling that maybe you were wrong about him. But that was absurd, right?

“I like photography and I write sometimes.” You had mumbled, hoping that he wouldn’t hear. Of course, he did hear it, every single word of it. 

But he didn’t make fun of you like you had thought he would, he had just softly smiled at you, mumbled a “thanks” and then continued with the lab.

Weeks passed and every class period was getting easier and easier to attend, until one day, you found yourself actually looking forward to the class. You were absolutely perplexed. Who in their right minds actually looked forward to chemistry? You couldn’t fathom why your attitude had suddenly shifted. That is, until you walked into the classroom and saw him sitting there.

Who would’ve thought? Harry Styles was the reason that you were excited to come to chemistry. It had taken him mere weeks to tear down the walls that you had worked so hard to keep up.

It was like he hadn’t even tried. He had just been nice. And for the first time ever, you didn’t think that he had been doing it to use you. He had been genuinely nice and you had fallen for it. You had become just like every other girl in the school.

You had fallen for the boy with the pretty green eyes. It wasn't like you had just taken one look at him and fallen, though. That’s where you were different. It had taken you weeks. But it still happened nonetheless. He still ended up with you wrapped around his finger.

‘Now it’s just a matter of time before he uses it against me,’ you had thought to yourself before taking your seat next to him.

It had been two years since that day. You were now seniors and he had yet to use it against you. In fact, he had fallen for you before you had fallen for him and he was ecstatic when he found out that you had feelings for him.

He had been the perfect boyfriend for two years and counting. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. 

Everyone thought he was the absolute perfect man, and really, he was. There was only one thing about him that you could ever complain about, and honestly, you couldn’t even call it a flaw. 

Harry just had the tendency to get jealous. Of course, he trusted you. It’s just that he didn’t trust everyone else. 

And that’s the exact reason that you’re in the situation with Harry that you are.

“Why him? You could’ve cheated with anyone, why’d you pick him?” He runs a shaking hand through his unruly curls that were still drenched with sweat. “You know how I feel about that piece of shit.” He stops for a moment, looking you in the eyes, and you can see the anger burning behind the jade irises. “That’s why you did it, isn’t it?” He accuses.

“Harry, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t cheat on you!” You throw your hands up in the air, frustrated by the fact that he won’t listen to you and hurt because he thinks you would actually do such a thing. “Why would I cheat on you? especially with him?”

“I don’t know!” He yells, not being able to contain it any longer. “Everyone fucking warned me, don’t get too attached to someone, you’ll get your heart broken.” He looks in your direction, but you can tell that he’s not actually looking at you. “What they never told me, though, is that I would fall so in love with someone only for them to rip my heart out of my chest and beat it repeatedly with a sledgehammer.” He’s back to pacing around the room, looking everywhere but you. “I told them all, ‘no, it’ll be fine. I love her. She loves me. We’ll be alright. That won’t happen.’ But maybe I was wrong. Maybe they had a point.” 

“Will you please let me explain myself, H?” You try, wanting to get him to see the truth in the situation and not what he wants to see just because he hates Malachi. “Just let me tell you what happened and then we can talk, please.” You beg him. All you need is a few seconds and everything can be fixed. You can cuddle up to your loving boyfriend and put everything behind you. Or maybe you can congratulate him on the fourth win of the season, leaving his team undefeated.

He doesn’t seem to hear your question, though, and he mumbles something. At first, your brain doesn’t register what’s been said, but then you process. It hits you like a train, and you’re speechless for a moment. Everything that had been floating around in your head left the moment that you realized how he was really feeling.

Apparently, you go without saying anything for too long, being completely shell-shocked and all, so he repeats himself, thinking that you couldn’t hear him the first time. “Am I not good enough?” He finally stops pacing, looking up at you, and for a second, you wish that you had never faced him. There are tears in his eyes, threatening to spill onto his blotchy cheeks. He looks absolutely disheveled and your heart breaks at the sight. This wasn’t the first time that you had discussed this with him. 

Harry wasn’t the arrogant guy that he pretended to be at school. He was insecure and he doubted himself in everything that he did. The only thing that made him feel like he was enough for anybody was you, and he thought that you were trying to leave him for someone else.

“Harry, baby.” You say, walking over to him and trying to grab his hands. “Listen to me please.”

He pulls away and spits, “Don’t call me baby.” You know he doesn’t mean it, he just pushes everyone away when he gets like this. He’d rather be alone than think he’s burdening anybody. 

You take a deep breath in, trying to force the tears in your eyes to stay there and not spill onto your face. This was about him, not you. You had no right to shift the focus onto yourself by letting the tears fall. Not that he would blame you, he would drop everything to make you feel better, which is why you couldn’t cry right now. It was your turn to make him feel better. 

“Harry, listen.” You say, grabbing his hand. “You’re everything. I could never ask for anyone better.” There’s nothing but truth in your voice, and you hope that he can hear it.

“Then why do you want him?” He asks, no longer sounding hateful, just hurt. He pulls his hand out of your grasp and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s too far into his insecurities for you to fix this with a sentence or two.

“I don’t. Harry, I don’t. I want you. And that’s what I was trying to tell him when you walked over.” You take his hand in yours again, holding tighter than last time, not wanting him to pull away again. To your relief, he doesn’t. He just let’s you guide him to the bed. You sit down at the end and pull him to sit beside you. 

Once he’s settled, you raise a hand to his hair and push it out of his eyes, knowing that he hates when his hair falls into his line of vision. “Yes, he asked me out. Yes, he told me that I should choose him.” he stiffens and you can feel the anger coming back to his body, so you quickly continue, “But I didn’t. I didn’t choose him, because he isn’t you,” you slide into his lap, placing one knee on the bed on each side of him, straddling him. You cup his face in your hands and continue, “and you are the only,” you lean in and give him a quick peck, “one,” you lean in again, “that,” another, “I’ll” your lips linger slightly longer this time, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer, “ever,” you’re back to quick pecks, “want.”

You move your hands from his face, letting them slide down over his neck and come to a rest on his shoulders.

You lean your head down, letting your lips find purchase on the taut skin of his jaw, leaving wet kisses down to the dip of his collar bones. Between every kiss, you murmur a praise to him.

“You’re so handsome, baby.”

“You deserve the world.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“Love you so much.”

“Look so good in that uniform.”

“Such a good baseball player, wanna reward you.”

At the last one, he pulls back slightly, scanning your face, ensuring that you’re not only doing this because you were arguing. “You sure, baby? Don’t have to do anything just because you think I’m mad.” He runs a hand down your back, letting you know that it’s fine if you don’t want to. The action sends shivers throughout your body.

“Wanna show you how proud of you I am, how much I love you. Would you like that baby?” You ask, waiting for him to approve, not wanting to push him if he really doesn’t want you to do anything.

After a moment of consideration, he nods his head, “Please, love.”

Your lips find their way back to his, immediately locking into a kiss. It’s not like the ones that you usually share. It’s not rushed. There’s no teeth knocking against one another’s, there’s no fight for dominance. It’s smooth and soft, tongues gliding together and seamlessly allowing your mouths to mold.

After a moment, you move slightly, allowing your lips to fall in quick succession all around his face, kissing every feature that you adore beyond comparison. Every detail that he seems to hate about himself. 

You let your lips land on the dimples that make your heart flutter, the crinkles by his eyes that make your tummy erupt in butterflies, the freckles that make you want to run your finger over them for hours on end. You kiss every inch of his face, because his face is the most perfect one that you had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

Once you’re satisfied that his face has been moved on enough, you move down to his neck, nipping and sucking marks into his skin. He groans when you place an open mouthed kiss on a particularly sensitive spot and you smirk into his skin. 

Usually, you would pay special attention to that spot, but that was never really for him. Sure, it felt good to him, but you just really loved the groans that would fall from his lips. So, you would drag out the time you spent adoring that single spot.

Today, however, was all about his pleasure. And you know that he hates the teasing more than anything. He doesn’t need the foreplay, the kissing and sucking all over his body. All that he needs is to see you on your knees, looking up at him through your lashes.

So, as you move down his neck, you begin to unbutton his baseball jersey. Once the final button is undone, you push it off his shoulders and look at the man in front of you. How you got lucky enough to be with him, you’ll never know. 

You begin to kiss down his chest, paying slight attention to the places that you know make him tick. You know that he doesn’t need it, but you also know that they make him feel good, and that’s all that you want to do, make him feel good.

You continue making your way across his chest, kissing and licking. When you get to his nipples, you let your tongue run over them for a moment. You let your teeth gently graze over the peak, and his body jolts into you.

“Baby, please.” He whimpers. You look up at him, giving him a look of mock innocence as you make your way to his other nipple. You repeat your actions before moving down his torso.

You stop once again at his butterfly tattoo, letting your tongue run along the lines of it. He lets out a choppy breath, and you know he’s putty in your hands. You’ve got him right where you want him.

You make your way lower, yet again stopping at his fern tattoos. As you run your tongue across them, pausing slightly every now and then to nip at his hips, his hands rake through your hair, gripping on to the strands like they’re his tethers to reality.

“Not gonna tease you today baby, is that okay?” You murmur against his hip, knowing that you not having your mouth exactly where he wants you to be is killing him. 

“Yeah, that’s fine baby just please, need your mouth so bad.” He begs, and you have no choice but to give him what he wants. You pop the button on his baseball pants, pulling both them and his boxers down his legs. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, red and leaking. It’s not like you’ve never seen him before, he’s just so pretty in every aspect, and it seems to catch you off guard every time.

“You sound so pretty when you beg for me, H.” You all but whimper, letting your mouth move further down as he kicks his pants completely off.

You settle comfortably on your knees in front of him. You let your hands come up to the top of his thigh, scratching your nails down the skin.

He hisses, and you take his moment of distraction to lick the pearl of precum that has settled at the tip of him.

Just this simple action has him bucking his hips and letting out a broken whimper. You can’t help but smile, knowing that you’re the reason that he’s reacting like that.

When you peer up at him and see him looking at you with pure adoration, you take him in your mouth, sucking at the tip before bobbing further down. The hand in your hair clenches, like he’s trying not to push your head down as far as you can go. Like he’s trying not to make you choke on him.

You pull off of him and revel in the whimper that escapes his mouth. “Do you want to fuck my face baby?”

He chokes out a groan, nodding his head slightly. You reach for his other hand, which had been clenched tightly in a fist by his side, and place it in your hair alongside the other one. He shoots you a wary glance that quickly dissipates as you say, “Then do it. Please, H.”

He lets out a light chuckle. “Who’s begging now?” 

He doesn’t give you time to answer. He pushes back into your mouth, and you can’t help but moan. Him having you like this is one of your favorite sexual activities with him.He starts slow, easy. It’s always like this. He uses shallow thrusts to give you time to adjust to the experience.

Little by little, though, he pushes deeper. He can’t help it, really. You’re just so wet and warm. You feel like heaven to him. 

You hollow your cheeks, slowly moving your tongue along the underside of him, feeling the veins running across the muscle. 

“That’s it, baby, feel so good for me.” He groans, pushing your head down further, causing you to slightly choke, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. 

He pulls your head back, just as he does every single time, and asks, “Are you okay, lovie?”

Your heart swells, but you’re too impatient to dwell on it, you want him back down your throat. “I’m perfect. Now please, please let me make you feel good.” You stick your tongue back out and he places the tip of his dick on your muscle.

The only warning he gives you is a slight nod before he pushes back down your throat, immediately setting a brutal pace, hips snapping forward as he pulls your head towards his hips by your hair.

You can feel the ache beginning to settle in your jaw and the burn in the back of your throat. You know that you won’t be able to comfortably talk for the next few days, but it was always worth it.

“Look at you baby, taking me so well.” He groans, praising you. 

The spit was pooling in your mouth, as it always does, and you know that sooner rather than later, you’ll be making an absolute mess of yourself.

He pushes all the way to the back of your throat, and you feel yourself gag, but you know that he won’t let up before he feels like it, so you push your gag reflex down and do your best to breathe through your nose.

“Yeah, baby. That’s it. Taking all of me like a good girl.” He brings his hand down to your throat, squeezing at it gently, just adding a little bit of pressure.

You moan around him, and that’s when the spit begins to fall, covering your chin. He smiles down at you, mumbling something about you being his messy little baby and continues to thrust into your mouth. 

The only thing that you can taste is him, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You can feel every vein, every ridge of his cock against your tongue. You can also feel the way that he’s twitching in your mouth, how every thrust is bringing him closer and closer to his end. 

You hollow your cheeks around him and suck a little harder. You hear him groan from above you and his hips stutter.

He’s a lot closer than you thought he was.

You double your efforts, moving your head along with him, holding his cock all the way in your throat for longer than you had been, sucking a little harder on the tip when he pulls back. 

He’s being unapologetically loud, moaning and groaning about how good you are for him, and you can’t help but be proud. You made him that way.

Seconds later, you can feel the first string of his release. He goes to apologize and pull out of your mouth, but you slightly shake your head and grab his thighs. You know how hot he thinks it is when you swallow.

You take everything he has to offer before swallowing every last drop. When you stand back up, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, showing him that there’s nothing left.

He groans and pulls you closer, catching your lips in a heated kiss. This time, it’s complete teeth and tongue. 

“Want me to make you feel as good as you made me feel, love?” He asks.You just shake your head. He looks offended, so you quickly elaborate. “I congratulated you for winning baby, that was a one way thing. Don’t need you to do anything for me, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” You smile at how persistent he is. He’s just as eager to please as you are.

“I’m sure.” He nods, dragging you onto the beg to cuddle with him.

“I’ll just pay you back another time, then.” He promises. You roll your eyes. 

“It’s not something to pay back, H.”

“Fine then, I’ll give you head randomly just because I want to. Or maybe next time you do good on a test. Anytime really.” He chuckles.

“Alright, alright. Can we go to bed? I’m tired.” You whine. He just looks over at you and smiles, pulling you close and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Night, baby.”

“Night night.”

*

Okay so I tried hehe. Thank you for reading!! Come talk to me if you wanna :)))

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[kookiepredictions]

Message from his DF’s Higher Self

To the Littlest One,

I was summoned by you I think. Damn boy, are you tired? Cuz you’ve been running through my mind all day. Everyday. Where do I begin? There’s always so much to say but I’m never sorted out. You want to know how I feel about you? Well it’s not a one word or one line answer you see. In my previous connections, I’ve always had some issue or the other. There have been connections where things were THIS close to being something special, and yet, I couldn’t unsee that there was still that bit missing. And I realized, I’m really looking for someone EXACTLY like me, and I knew I set myself up for failure because truly that’s impossible to have? When I saw you for the first time, I was shocked because I couldn’t believe how someone could be so much like me. It was like looking at my male version. And yet, there were so many obvious differences. I would be all excited and tell whoever cared to listen (most didn’t) that look, this guy is just like me! I think I’ve found my perfect match like they write in books and stuff. It didn’t matter to me that you didn’t know I existed. I was incredibly happy just knowing that I wasn’t wrong in believing that somewhere there is someone who is your exact match. I was O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D with you! I couldn’t get enough. You’d think my first impression about you was wrong and as I got to know more about you, I’d change my mind. But it was the exact opposite. The more I knew, I surer I got. I found a happy place in my life, everyday religiously watching you do weird stuff that convinced me more and more that yeah, he is the one. Ironically though, I never wanted to do anything about it. I thought someday we’d just meet and you’d see what I saw— that we’re perfect for each other. I had things in my personal life to take care of and I started doing exactly that, and Divine (and other) intervention got us together. Of course initially I was a little wary and thought it was all too good to be true, but that’s just me. Getting to know you has been one of the most special, life changing events in my life. So I have no idea why you want to start over again, or change anything about it. I wouldn’t want to change anything about any of it. You have been a wish fulfilled, a literal dream come true for me, right from the start to now. When I first saw you, I had a certain idea about you, the things you might say— and when you did speak to me, it was exactly how I always imagined it to be. With every word and action, you became more and more perfect to me. It was like someone made a list of everything I wished for in a person since when I was old enough to wish for things, added a ton of other wonderful things and the result was you! You have always, ALWAYS said what I wanted to hear, treated me the way I wanted to be treated. You were like this magician who always magically knew what I wanted. How did you know? How did you know what no one had ever known. And those people were so much closer to me. And so it not just confuses me but also makes me sad how you see this whole thing differently. Maybe you can do better, maybe you have better things to offer, I get that. But it was still perfect the way it was. There is no need to go over it repeatedly and wish it was different. I would never ever never want it to be any other way.

To me, you were and still are the kind of person they only talk about in fairytales. Does that mean I think you have no flaws? No. I know everyone has flaws and I have always believed that is what makes each of us unique and more special. And I have stopped buying onscreen personas since when I was like 13. Okay, maybe 15. Perfection to me is not the absence of flaws. Perfection to me is in the way I feel about someone. And I have always felt so wholesome around you, every moment spent with you was perfect. You were perfect, everything you did was perfect. If I were to sit you down and categorically tell you to do exactly as I wanted, I still couldn’t do a better job than what you had already done. Plz I’m embarrassed to admit that I have spent days, weeks, MONTHS daydreaming about you. Repeating every word over and over and over in my head and feeling every feeling it caused in me. I don’t see the “mistakes” that you see. Maybe you don’t see them either, and that’s why you are confused as to why you are being punished. Then maybe you should consider the thought that you aren’t being punished? I am not keeping away because of anything you did or didn’t do, I am keeping away for my own issues. You might think I have it all figured out, but I’m sorry to burst your bubble, I’m still a work in progress as well. You think I have over exaggerated ideas about you? Well I think you have put me up on a pedestal and don’t see how I’m struggling too. Do I absolutely need to be away to focus on myself right now? Absolutely. I have a tendency to be put who I love (there I said it, I wish it wasn’t said this way, but I guess this is the need of the hour) before me, and lose myself in the process. And unless I learn how to prioritizing another person without de-prioritizing myself, I need to be by myself. Have you ever felt like this connection was getting the better of you— that you had no control over yourself whatsoever? That’s how it has felt for me too. I need to find my own footing before getting involved in anything at all. Do I seem stubborn and difficult? Good. Because I have been easy and impressionable before and it has taken everything away from me. You must understand, this has got nothing to do with you. These problems have existed in my life before you came, and they will continue to exist unless I take care of them. You might think you can solve all my problems, if only we were together. That’s not true. The problems are inside of me. You can, at best, distract me from them. Only I can truly uproot them. Not only is this my duty here on earth, it is my right to be able to do that, and I am going to defend my right, whether or not you agree with me, and no matter how mad it makes you. It is never my intention to hurt you or anger you, but if that’s the price I have to pay, so be it. And it doesn’t even have to be about problems either. I have the right to live my life the way I want to. Always. Whether or not you are in my life. And I have the right to do so without having to explain myself. This is something I have learnt pretty late in my life— I really used to be the exact opposite. I have spent YEARS unlearning that pattern and I am not going to abandon my beliefs anymore, not even for you. And I’m not even apologetic about it. If there is any love in this connection, it will honour my freedom and my choices. Even if I abandoned myself right now “out of love”, and years later when I realize the folly in that, I’d forever hold you responsible for that and hate you all my life. That’s not going to be a very successful connection, is it? My morals, principles and beliefs are what make me who I am. Abandoning them is literally changing me, might as well change my face with surgery. They are staying with me until my last breath. Anyone who wants to be in my life has to respect and accept that. You don’t have to though. And I really want to make sure you understand this. I don’t expect you to do anything that you don’t want to do. Nothing at all. When you had no idea I existed, I liked you even then. The point is, my liking or loving you isn’t dependent on what you do or don’t do for me. It has everything to do who you are. Now, you might not see yourself that way. You might think you are nothing special to be liked or loved. You might feel the need to do a ton of things so that people like you. But you see, that’s all just you, not me. Don’t project your feelings on to me. For me, you have always been special and everything you have ever done has been special. Now, the answer to the difficult question: have I ever been hurt by you? Yes. But I have never thought it was your “fault”. For me it was always my fault that I was too reliant on someone else’s opinion of me, and a push to the direction of learning to be self-validated. And it was a huge leap in my growth! To be honest, I don’t entirely know what fault you hold yourself responsible for. I have no idea what “wrong” choices you have made. All I see is, you had prior commitments and you chose to honour your commitments. You chose to stick with the people who were there in your life long before me. Not only do I respect you more because of it, it has always been a very attractive quality about a person to me— being mindful of everyone in their lives. The only thing that makes me mad is when you fail to realize that I have the right to do the same. You can choose to fight me over my freedom and ways of dealing with things, but know that it is a fight I will always win :p

You seek my forgiveness but it is not me who hasn’t forgiven you, it is you. You want love from me but it is not me who doesn’t love you, it is you. Fear all you want, doubt all you want, but you could inquire in 10, 20, 100 years if I love you, and the answer will still be the same: yes I do. And if you ask me 1000 times what we should do about it, my answer will also be the same— this really is the time to focus on ourselves. It might seem like I’m going further away from you, but I really am coming towards you with every passing day. How and when— not everything needs to be known right now. If you are patient, everything will make sense when it’s the right time. Maybe then you would even hate yourself for not being more understanding, and wish that you had acted different right now. Just like you now wish you had behaved differently back then. The tighter you are holding on to this, the longer the wait is getting. Holding on tight to your love is an old paradigm. This is the time to be freely flying beside each other. I know because not very long ago, I had to make this exact choice. Either to let go of you and risk losing you forever or to hold on tightly to you and lose myself forever. I made the 2nd choice with a lot of doubt and difficulty, and it turns out that our connection has only gotten stronger from there. You feel like you are the only one in this journey but this is truly a journey of two. I assure you, every phase you cross, I have crossed it before you. There was a time I was addicted to you too. No matter where I went, what I did, who I was with, I was more interested in knowing what new weird thing Jungkook did today. Back then, nothing else was any more important than a little attention from my dream boy. And yet, there was so much anxiety and fear mixed with those experiences. Those were absolutely beautiful moments and everything I ever wished for, then why couldn’t I completely engage in them? Because I hadn’t learned to love myself yet. And so everything lacked, no matter how special. I can tell you for sure that me being in your life right now will do the exact same for you. So far you literally have followed all of my footsteps. And this is another reason for me needing to focus on myself. Until now, it was only about my own dreams and goals in life. But now I see how we are both almost tethered together in this connection, and I seem to be leading the way, aren’t I? For you to figure out the maze, I have to do that first. You know how you feel drawn to me, like you can never get enough? You might feel like it is your need to be loved by me, but really it is the need for you to follow in my next footsteps that is to focus on yourself. This is why you are never satisfied. Even when I am with you, you are still anxious about something you anticipate happening in the future. You are restless because you are not addressing the problems inside of you. You are trying to control this connection and this situation from outside, but that’s not where the issue is. You really think I’m some angel descended from heaven? Time to burst another bubble. I have a dark past too. I have hurt people, been destructive and done things I wish I hadn’t. The only difference? I have forgiven myself. I was young and didn’t know any better. It doesn’t help either that our society only teaches us to focus on the external things. Those mistakes didn’t define me nor will any other mistake I might make in the future. Nothing else defines me other than that I want to be happy and I’m committed to learning how to be happy and will learn and grow all my life in pursuit of happiness. You feel like you’re attracted to me because you need a loving person in your life, but what you’re really looking for subconsciously is to learn to love yourself because you see that I love myself. There is literally nothing in this world that makes a person more attractive than self love. It is the ultimate goal for every soul and someone who masters it is a veritable flame for all moths. No amount of love is enough for the person who doesn’t love themselves. Believe me, I’ve been there. You think I’m mad at you, but the thing is, the mire I focus on myself, the more I’m able to understand you more. So yes, even though you make me so mad so often, it doesn’t last at all. This connection has changed me in ways that surprise me too. In my past connections, if I was hurt, I would make sure I’d give back the same hurt back ten times so they knew what I went through. Not anymore. Very soon into this connection I’d realized that no matter how much I was hurt, I could never bring myself to do the same to you. And gradually I learnt to not be hurt at all in the first place. Because I always understand where you come from. And I always will. Not because I’m some saint, but because I have been through all of that. You are not wrong in wanting to be loved, or wanting assurance. It’s been a tough journey hasn’t it, being through situations and people that have distorted your perception of your own self? So much so that you now believe you are that person. But if you really were, then why did I see someone else when I first saw you? And after all this time, why do I still see that same person? No matter what happens in between, why hasn’t my perception changed of you? How is it that we are both looking at the same but different person? You might argue that your version of you is more accurate, not mine. Then why do you believe so strongly that your version of ME is more accurate, that you are ready to fight with everyone else over it? Why do you believe so strongly that you just KNOW me? Because as Twin Flames we are lucky to have someone designated to see ourselves in our divinity when we have forgotten that about ourselves. At this point, I don’t even care what you think about yourself. I know what I know and nothing and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise. Flaws and all, you are perfect to ME. But no one can convince you of that better than yourself. Unless you forgive, love and accept yourself, you will always feel like there’s not enough love in your life. No matter how many times we go over this, this is where it will always end up at.

Don’t get me wrong though, I feel your change and transformation. I feel your heart opening up, I feel you getting more and more vulnerable. And I know it’s scary. But this is the only way. When I had to let go, I realized what terrified me the most was if I was going to lose the “feeling” that existed then. The whole dreamy, head-over-heels, giggling like a little girl, and getting unmentionable thoughts 24/7 type of love feeling (yes is it that hard to believe it exists?) As it turned out, not only did the feeling not go, it transformed into this beautiful version where I have so much more control over it— I can feel this way when I decide to, instead of it being all over the place before. Ironically here, you feel like falling constantly when you hold on. You find your ground when you let go. Does it seem like I don’t think about you at all? The reality is, I’m just more at peace with these feelings. Instead of fighting them or trying to get rid of them, I let them stay with me with the instructions that they let me do other things like work, and they stay quietly beside me all day, and only get activated when I want them to lol. You are suffering because you are trying too hard to get an outcome, a result out of it, I’m just here enjoying the ride, wherever it takes me. If I leave you, you will be shattered, probably feel betrayed and unable to trust anyone else. If you leave, I’ll love you regardless. I have nothing to gain from this, and yet I gain the most beautiful, precious things from it every single day. All because I let go. I let go, not of you, but of my expectations of an outcome. In return, you stayed. And with you, the most high vibrational feelings that literally poets write about, singers sing about, and people everywhere spend all their lives looking for. I found them right where I was. It does make me sad to see you in pain but I know it’s only temporary and more than that, essential to get to where you must get in this lifetime. But it doesn’t have to be that painful. It took me years to understand certain things, and if I could teach just one thing, it would be acceptance. Resist less, accept more. Accept situations as they are. And watch them magically transform. The last thing, if you really, REALLY want to do something for me, something that would make me happy, and if I do in fact, have the right to ask for something from you— it is that you put yourself first right now. Independent of me. Pretty please. I know I’m kinda awesome and hard to resist lol but there must be things that you have wanted to do that had nothing to do with me. Explore yourself without judgement. And allow me the freedom to do the same. There is no one I want more than you in my life, but there are things I want to explore and do which have existed way before you came into my life. If I couldn’t do them, I would hate you for the rest of my life and I definitely don’t want that. I don’t want to rush a connection so special and rare. I don’t want to start something not knowing for sure that I can be consistent with. Whatever I start is going to be forever and for that we both need to be 100% ready without any doubts or reservations. If we’re not there yet, that’s alright, we should have enough time to prepare. Just know that no matter what happens, this connection is not going anywhere, and these feelings are not going away, cuz they never have. And IF, in the rare occasion that it has to end, know for sure that it will be decided by two people, not just one. It is the right of both people who are working towards this connection. Believe in Divine magic and timing. We’re going to be alright.

Enclosing I’d like to say: Are you a dictionary? Cuz you’re adding meaning to my life. Are you a camera? Cuz every time I look at you, I smile. Do you have a pencil? Cuz I want to erase your past and write our future. (Okay that’s enough Google search for today)