#removing them from my life

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

Instagram weddings are insane. The money people pour into completely fake and staged things just for follows....-》 unfortunately has a cousin who did this

[pleucas]

double black

[territorial-utopia]

Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

[kacievvbbbb]

Honestly with the workload these kids be getting, what they are studying in school and just generally how they are treated. You really forget these kids are like 6 years old.

Anya is the only one that consistently acts her age and so she sometimes comes off as immature which is insane when you think about it they are all literally 6. This also works cause we can assume she is a year or 2 younger than the rest of her grade, still, even then it’s insane.

Which is why when the other kids actually start to show their age usually in situations of great emotion, the bus hijacking for one. Or even when the kids think one of them is going to have to leave because his family is now poor and they all rally around this kid they never even really spoke to, or when they literally think that some macaroons will make them smarter and help them pass the test. Or when they simply want to play outside.

it’s so jarring and you’re left being like oh right they're six, this isn’t normal. Six-year-olds shouldn't be put under this kind of pressure.

It's another neat little insight into just what kind of society these kids are living in. And a little bit of irony that Loid who wants to create a society where little kids don't have to cry anymore is on a mission that requires the infiltration of a school where little kids can't even be ones.

[wasyago]

oh boy, what are we doing to do with you now...

[vagun1ka]

The Herta (gynoid herta design)

[safeturnip]

thinking about how when Grian says "BigB treated me right" Scar's immediate counter to that is to say how he built the Jellie panda sanctuary. because he says it like it's something Grian should care about, when Grian never once thought the pandas were important, and it's just. desert duo at certain points in time manage to have the most fundamental misunderstanding of each other's thought processes. and it's not all the time, because sometimes they'll be on the exact same wavelength, and it's absolutely incredible to see, but a solid chunk of time, their trains of thought are running in complete opposite directions of each other. it's like they have different ideas of what's important, and automatically expect the other person to think that way too.

like Grian-wise, he's always thought the life series itself is the most important, especially during 3rd life where he keeps reminding Scar that he's red, that he needs to kill people, that killing people is his end and final goal. he sets up elaborate traps and plans all for Scar's sake, so that Scar can kill people, but it never was for Scar's sake, was it? he's never bothered to ask if this is what Scar wants, just assumes that Scar has the same priorities as him, is willing to go through the same methods as him to achieve those priorities. Grian's main goal has always been to survive, to win, to play the game correctly, and when Scar wasn't giving him that in double life, he went to go find a partner who would.

and on Scar's end, he goes and focuses on his sand monopoly, his llama, his bee, his Jellies. he plays the long social game, promises allyship to everyone he encounters, and although murder is always there in the back of his mind, it's never in the forefront, it's not the first action that he selects. in double life, he ignores the soulmates mechanic and chases after an allay, calls it his soulmate while Grian is literally right there, when Grian has been spending his entire episode looking for his soulmate and keeping the two of them alive. and even after Grian drags Scar off to the side and drops a stalactite on his head, Scar is still so focused on the Jellie pandas, wants to build something for them no matter how many times Grian shoots his ideas down.

and it's so crazy to me how Scar brings up the pandas in wild life like he thinks it's a winning counter argument! what is he going on about!! the two of them just completely misinterpreting each other is such a fun concept to me.

(idk this is just me taking a two-line exchange and running with it in a completely different direction than it was intended. desert duo make me insane they make me so so ill)

[cursedvibes]

I'm simply gonna treat jjk like Naruto. If Kenjaku (just like Orochimaru) survives for no apparent reason only to live their happy gay life far away from the protagonists' bullshit, then I fully support it. Who cares about whatever else happened in the ending, about the lack of consequences or gravity to the situation, when Kenjaku and Takaba are having fun and doing comedy together.

If we do get a Part 2, it's just gonna be another Boruto situation. I'm tuning in if we get a glimpse of Pinchan and a hint at Heian lore and that's it.

[radio-venom]

no. listen. a twin fight is different. you’re the same, you’re nothing like them, you’re enemies, you know each other better than anyone, you will never understand them, you’ve been compared since birth, you’re each other’s oldest companion, you’d kill each other, you’d kill for each other, you’re each other’s reflection, you know everything that’s hurts them the most and you can tear them to shreds better than anyone on earth and they can do the same to you. you are hurting yourself.

[mrgladstonegander]

you guys. we can contour duck beaks

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

my goal as a jew is to take less shit and stop wasting time on people who will never care and more importantly making the world a better place for other jews. im done with giving so many chances to people who will never change and id rather spend that energy spreading love to the other members of this tribe <3

[uncanny-tranny]

I promise you can speak about and denounce undesirable behaviour without attributing it to some in-born, immutable, unchanging trait that you must "civilize" away.

In this specific instance that inspired this, you really don't need to attribute bad behaviour that's done by a man with unchanging character traits. This isn't even solely about men, because doing this affects everyone, men included.

"Men needed to be civilized out of behaving this way!" Who are you expecting to be doing the civilizing and why? This is just defending the idea that women are responsible for training up men - the millenia-old idea that a man's failings are actually a woman's fault, not his.

As a man, I am responsible for my actions. You don't need to dehumanize me in order to preserve your misogyny and your need to hate a group of men. Don't get me wrong, this rhetoric absolutely is not good for men to face. It especially targets men who have experiences with marginalized identities. If you're on my page, you know that this is something I deal with personally, have personal stakes in that affect my life daily. I just also think we really need to remember that this issue exists in a context where women and other folks will inevitably be punished as a direct result of these ideas as well.

I need to make that last part emphatically clear: even if this rhetoric (somehow) only hurt men, it would still be wrong. It would still be wrong! I want to - as a man - remind people (especially those who already have decided to dehumanize entire groups of people) that nobody is safe from being exempt from punishment due to this rhetoric.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

I found myself wondering.. "what if he had been telling the truth? What if I really was someone else? Someone beautiful & powerful? Someone buried alive and suffocating to death? Buried faraway, on the other side of the television screen?" But I know that's not true. That's just.. fantasy. Kids stuff..

Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if we found each other before all of this.

[saturncoyote]

Y'know, it's kinda hard to feel hyped about the new Nightcat/Watcher DLC when Rain World itself is completely unplayable for me in it's current state