#ILONA LAIDIR: HEADCANON

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Ilona is the chaotic latke enjoyer who will not just have applesauce or sour cream on hers, but both. At the same time.

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Ilona (apparently) enjoys having her (almost always) taller partner lift her head by the chin to look up at them. That activates the immediate "🥺" face from her, I'm afraid.

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Ilona has so much strength in her body that she can definitely do the neat little party trick of moving each boob when she flexes it.

edit: found the video I was thinking of:

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Ilona 'Rook' Laidir - a very short headcanon post

She's lived in Rivain and has been with the Lords of Fortune for quite a few years now; good friends with Isabela (and in fact, once had a threesome with her and her wife, Desdemona Hawke*)

She's a warrior and frequently favours a two-handed weapon; she is strong and jacked as hell, and surprisingly good at parkour for a woman of her stature (she is 4'5" - tall for a dwarf!)

She shaves her own undercut and doesn't really need a mirror to get the back

She is a scrappy fighter; she starts fights AND ends them. She enjoys rough housing and generally having a good time

She tends to be a bit playful/sarcastic when in awkward situations; but she can be serious when she needs to be

Ilona tends to be pretty open about her personal life, though with some limits (especially about her family - she only has a few of them left living).

She will flirt with any woman she finds attractive, though when she starts to get feelings for someone, she'll rein it in; she also sometimes finds it hard if someone is just as forward as she is (she's not used to having moves made on her first!)

She started liking Neve from the start, and so far, adores sometimes being called "Trouble" as an actual nickname.

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Honestly if/when I finish the game and add Ilona, I am honestly okay with making her just as a companion for the DAV team because tbh her Goofy Goober vibe (along with being a tomb raiding, scrappy, rough around the edges Lord of Fortune), means she's definitely Not the kind of person who would help with people's personal problems. Like she might crack a joke and try to help along that way, or to suggest that sometimes life deals you a shitty hand, and it's okay to feel your feelings but you just gotta keep carrying on.

Ilona to me, (as she develops in my head) is someone who has lost a lot of her family over the years, and really only has her mom and her maternal uncle, and that's about it. No siblings, only adopted cousins, and she easily makes friends but for her, having intimately close friendships is a rarity with her lifestyle. Lovers and girlfriends have come and gone, but getting attached is hard for her. She may be small but she herself loves big, and sometimes worries it might be too much

So all in all, I think for the most part, I'll be writing her as a companion more so than 'Rook', unless of course someone is writing one of the canon companions and would like to interact in that context :)

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Also, I do imagine Ilona as a female dwarf does have facial hair, but for the most part, unless she's on the road and doesn't have the means / time to do so, she shaves every morning and uses coconut oil as an aftershave (just a thin layer so it doesn't go everywhere/get on everything).

Otherwise this does mean she'll have a bit of stubble by morning, and if her partner allows her, may nuzzle them regardless lol.

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Varric teaching Ilona how to properly make latkes (since her da passed before he could teach her / can't read his handwriting on the recipe left behind). 🥺

Him calling her "kid" in game is gonna make me sob now thinking about this. ( @extravagantliar )

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I think Ilona's experiences in Tevinter (first coming to Minrathous with her mom to live with her Uncle Jar and his husband, and then again, as an unruly teenager, sent off by her mom for like, a year), have really helped shape her, get her to see more of the world and how it is lived than just going from Orzammar to eventually settling in Rivain.

It really helped develop her sense of justice; Jar is a healer by trade and runs an infirmary with medicines with his husband, and she saw a lot of folks come and go who were in bad shape. Her own medicinal skills are limited to the basics, but she does know how to treat basic wounds and apply poultices, how to apply a splint to a broken arm or leg, and how to massage out painful muscle 'knots'/contractions by hand.

Coming to back to Rivain and back to her mom made her appreciate the kind of life they had, and as she trained and got hired by Isabela and the Lords of Fortune, she brought with her not only a warrior's skillset and vigor, but one with a little more care and concern for others (but, still, not as much a care for herself when it comes to combat). She loves the sea, loves the smell of the air, and really grows into herself under the mantra of for gold and glory.

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In case the name wasn't a dead giveaway, the inspo behind Ilona Laidir's face is one of my fave women's rugby players, Ilona Maher. I loved her jawline and cheekbones and just general face shape; obviously, I wasn't making Ms Maher herself as my Rook, but I wanted to have that strong jaw and face structure.

So I figured I'd show you a side by side.

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Primarily, Ilona's hobbies mostly include working out and drinking with her friends, but her more lowkey hobbies include metalworking (she knows this is a stereotype, leave her alone), glass blowing, and leather-working (Which she quite likes for more than a few reasons).

Overall, she just likes working with her hands. A lot.

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anyway needless to say, Ilona is not hosting any Hanukkah parties - or at least, not supplying any of the food.

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Discussing some headcanons with a friend, but I fear that Ilona was a rambunctious three year old and that was enough for her mom to decide she didn't want to have another child in case she also turned out inheriting her husband's "zest for life" / impulsiveness/reactivity.

Arinda Laidir is the most level-headed and logical person in this entire family, and it shows. Every day she prays that Ilona doesn't do something impulsive and stupid that gets her killed. That woman has gone grey by 40.

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Ilona is best friends with Davrin on a deep level in terms of devotion to a cause, but also, Ilona balances out his seriousness with humour and vice versa.

Ilona and Bellara are the two best friends who feed into each other's energy and have the same sense of humour, and always feel comfortable around each other.

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Ilona likes older women but when she says that, it can mean anything between 5 years and 20. She doesn't discriminate.

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BOLD FOR WHAT ALWAYS APPLIES, ITALICIZE FOR SOMETIMES. REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG!

fights honorably   /   fights dirty

prefers close - quarters   /   prefers range

chats during   /   goes silent

low pain tolerance   /   high pain tolerance

attacks in bursts   /   attacks steadily

goes for the kill   /   aims to disarm

fights defensively   /   strikes first

is provoked easily   /   provokes their opponent   /   teases

gets visibly frustrated   /   shouts while attacking

uses strategy   /   focuses on the battle   /   experiences conflicting thoughts during battle

rushes in recklessly   /   tries to read their opponent before engaging

fights wildly   /   fights calmly   /   fights apathetically   /   fights with anger   /   fights with excitement

fights because they have to   /   fights because they want to

fights without regards to wounds   /   runs away when wounded   /   hides wounds   /   takes a blow to protect another

prefers a blade   /   prefers a gun   /   prefers hand to hand combat   /   prefers a bow   /   prefers a shield   /   prefers a personalized weapon   /   prefers magic, alchemy or spells

their greatest weakness is physical   /   their greatest weakness is mental /   their greatest weakness is emotional

transforms for battle   /   fights as they appear / i have no clue what this means

relies on strength   /   doubts their strength   /   relies on speed

uses everything they have   /   proceeds with caution   /   hides their full potential

exhausts quickly   /   has high stamina

behaves arrogantly   /   brags after landing a hit   /   belittles their abilities

uses psychological tactics   /   uses brute strength

avoids civilians   /   strikes down civilians

damages surroundings   /   avoids damaging surroundings

signature fighting style   /   makes it up as they go

mastered skill - set   /   learning their skill - set

fancy footwork   /   sloppy footwork

messy fighter   /   elegant fighter

accepts defeat   /   refuses defeat   /   begs for mercy

compliments their opponent   /   insults their opponent

uses unnecessary movements   /   moves efficiently   /   barely moves

prefers to dodge   /   prefers to block

defends their blindside   /   has no blindside   /   leaves blindsides vulnerable

uses all available advantages   /   strictly uses one main method

plays around   /   holds back   /   fights ruthlessly   /   shows mercy

waits for an opponent to be ready   /   strikes when opponent isn’t ready

fears death   /   fears pain   /   fears killing

has PTSD   /   avoids fighting

has lost a fight   /   has won a fight

has killed   /   refuses to kill

wants to die standing   /   would succumb slowly

tagged by @fvrtvne thank you!

tagging: @hemerasiae for Cres, @hoboblaidd @stormlit @redemptior

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To imagine a younger Ilona was a bit hard in the CC since she's only 32 as is, so I also made an older, post-DAV version of herself too. :) She still gets in a lot of fights well into her 50s, hence the worsened cauliflower ear and crooked nose. She starts going grey around 47 and just lets it happen. She occasionally goes through periods of wearing more protective hairstyles (braids, usually), but will go back to tying it back loose with the undercut when her scalp needs a break. Her tattoos also really start to fade with how much she spends outdoors in the sun.