#ILONA LAIDIR: HEADCANON

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Ilona is the chaotic latke enjoyer who will not just have applesauce or sour cream on hers, but both. At the same time.

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Just came across this in my caps now... damn, ok!!

HEY SORRY SO APPARENTLY LAIDIR WAS A TEVINTER GALLEY SLAVE? HOW AM I ONLY JUST LEARNING THIS LIKE 35 HOURS IN????

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Ilona (apparently) enjoys having her (almost always) taller partner lift her head by the chin to look up at them. That activates the immediate "🥺" face from her, I'm afraid.

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Ilona's time as a Tevinter galley slave...

The last thing she'd said to her mom was in anger; they had been fighting about the training Ilona had been doing, with the intent to do mercenary work rather than taking up a more "civilian" hobby. Ilona had told her mother that she was going back to Tevinter, where Uncle Jar didn't "piss her off" so much.

However, while she barely wrote in advance to let him and his husband know she was on her way, the ship she managed to hideaway on arrived late to the docks. Ilona was a young 20 something, and while she was good with a sword, she didn't bring one with her. And the ship's captain? A slaver. She tried to fight out of it, but only armed with her fists, she was vastly outnumbered, and soon joined the ranks of slaves captured beyond the borders of the Tevinter Imperium.

Her uncle received her letter days later, but with no Ilona, soon wrote to her mother Arinda. They were concerned, but had no way of knowing where she was (kind of wondering maybe if Uncles Jar and Alain would have a) known who Neve was and b) if she was actively available to look into such a thing (espec. since she was a ship slave, and was soon put to work out to sea)).

Forced into slavery, Ilona was not happy about this fate, and resisted at every opportunity. Her da was a firebrand of a man, and she held his spirit close to her heart; she too fought and ended up being beaten many a time. Each time, she came back with an even stronger resolve.

For weeks, she and other slaves would be subjected to rowing for hours on end without reprieve. The ship that she was held to was not a warship, but one for trade. While it avoided conflict at sea, it meant traversing far distances, rowing at constant intervals until people passed out from the exertion. In this time, while she was often deprived of adequate food and water, she still built her strength. (Rowing as a motion works not just the arms but core and legs all the same).

For months, the predicament didn't quell her spirit, but it made her think strategically. She had all this time doing the same motion over and over; it allowed her to plan and devise an exit. After all, some slaves jumped off the side into the sea, only to exhaust themselves trying to swim towards shore, or fall victim to sharks. There were too many armed slavers to incite a full rebellion on board, and she was already made weak from the constant exertion. But she did start to piece together a plan - one that, if she had to, could be enacted alone.

Meanwhile, frantic and worried, her mother Arinda returned to Minrathous to get Uncle Jar's help and try to figure out where she could possibly be. It pained her to leave their home in case Ilona did show up, somehow (she left a letter out on the table). They worked together, trying to ask around and pay off some folks for information. All they managed to get was that there was a female dwarf in a group of slavers on one boat that would come in every couple months. It was a lead, and it was all they had to go off of.

As the better part of a year passed by, it was one night that the ship had docked, and the slaves were kept down below the deck, fed the scraps of the slavers' meal from their night on the town. Set to leave at dawn, many were too drunk and went to sleep, leaving the one on duty to watch twenty others. So went the others' distraction, causing a fight across the way, while Ilona managed to stomp the slowly rotting wood plank out from the bottom deck. The broken piece that was still firm, served as a weapon -- and Maker, did she let the guard have it. First, a blow to the back of his knee knocked him to the ground, and then, to the back of the head, repeatedly. If they were all going to escape, then she made sure they would have one less slaver to deal with.

While the commotion normally would've roused the attention of the other slavers from their cabins above the deck, they managed to take the keys from the fallen guard, and slowly, one by one, tiptoed their way off the boat, scattering into the busy places of Docktown and beyond, hoping to blend in, and never be tracked down.

Ilona herself, however, went right towards her Uncle Jar's medical clinic. At that time of night, only her mother was still awake with worry, and she nearly collapsed when she answered that fateful knock (they'd been planning to check the docks come morning before the ships were set to depart, hoping to pay nearly all their combined coin to get Ilona back). The first thing Ilona did was apologize to her mother, vowing not to part in anger ever again.

However, the trauma of being forced into slavery for what is, relatively a short time, remained strongly within Ilona's mind. Never again did she want to feel so weak and powerless against anyone else; her mother promised never to hold her back from seeking out the right training.

They returned to Rivain as soon as possible, and since then, for years, she avoided Tevinter at all costs unless going with a group.

Despite the casual remark to Taash - who needed the guidance in the moment - Ilona does not like to talk about those 10 months of her life. She is initially suspicious of Tevinter mages (sorry Neve), and never feels at ease when visiting places in Minrathous (even in Docktown). She chooses to bury her trauma, and prefer to help others, but she never feels like she's competent enough to make decisions for others (how can she, when her own stupid decision put her right on a slaver's ship as a stowaway?). Even as she ages, she still feels this way -- and it is compounded and made worse when she is put in the position of "Rook" at the beginning of the Veilguard.

Because of how often she refused to fall in line, Ilona has suffered a number of broken bones and other injuries from being beaten and whipped (there are a few scars on her back that are left from the time she was once lashed into submission). She's lost a few molars (and has had them replaced with gold teeth), she's had her fingers broken in fights and beatings (and thus, has prominent boxer's fractures on both hands where the pinky knuckles are no longer 'visible' when she makes a fist. While she is still relatively young and doesn't suffer too many aches yet, she will as she ages, notably with arthritis in her hands and numerous chronic pain in previous breaks/strains. She actually does have worse vision in her left eye compared to the right after taking a bad blow there in this time. It doesn't affect her coordination too much, but it is noticeable if she closes her good eye and tries to do a task that requires good vision.

Most people do not know about Ilona's history as a galley slave. She's maybe only mentioned it to Varric but not Harding; in the Chess Club, only Taash knows because she encouraged them to take up Rivaini culture, and Ilona asks them not to mention it otherwise.

*** If Neve did help get leads for the Laidir family, I don't think they would've met face to face back then, BUT, Neve likely would've remembered the story. It's why if not romanced, Ilona will bring it up and be thankful for her help, but won't delve too much into what she experienced. She will, only if they're in an established romanced relationship.

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Knowing Ilona has Undiscussed Trauma™, but helps out the Chess Club with whatever they're facing, but she does not feel qualified to be making these decisions for these people, so she ends up really letting them do what they feel might be best for themselves.

For example, the most egregious of these choices are letting Emmrich become a lich and encouraging Harding to embrace her anger over compassion; whereas, she encouraged Taash to embrace Rivaini culture is because that's exactly what she did, and she wanted Neve to step into the role of hero because it's what commoner folk need in times like these (and with her experience of being a Tevinter galley slave, it makes sense that she'd see it that way). The archive with Bellara and the Gryphons staying with the Wardens for Davrin because she believes that having these things belonging with their respective people/faction of origin is important. (And unfortunately, because Lucanis was hardened, she didn't get a say in what happened with Illario).

But ultimately, no one really gets into her background, no one pushes about her experience and how it informs her decision-making, or how it may affect her outlook on life. Ilona's a survivor, and she's sailed the seas in search of fortune, but she's never really talked about it - and it's why she feels it really, really shouldn't be up to her.

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Ilona has so much strength in her body that she can definitely do the neat little party trick of moving each boob when she flexes it.

edit: found the video I was thinking of:

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Ilona 'Rook' Laidir - a very short headcanon post

She's lived in Rivain and has been with the Lords of Fortune for quite a few years now; good friends with Isabela (and in fact, once had a threesome with her and her wife, Desdemona Hawke*)

She's a warrior and frequently favours a two-handed weapon; she is strong and jacked as hell, and surprisingly good at parkour for a woman of her stature (she is 4'5" - tall for a dwarf!)

She shaves her own undercut and doesn't really need a mirror to get the back

She is a scrappy fighter; she starts fights AND ends them. She enjoys rough housing and generally having a good time

She tends to be a bit playful/sarcastic when in awkward situations; but she can be serious when she needs to be

Ilona tends to be pretty open about her personal life, though with some limits (especially about her family - she only has a few of them left living).

She will flirt with any woman she finds attractive, though when she starts to get feelings for someone, she'll rein it in; she also sometimes finds it hard if someone is just as forward as she is (she's not used to having moves made on her first!)

She started liking Neve from the start, and so far, adores sometimes being called "Trouble" as an actual nickname.

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Ilona on one hand: losing touch with her culture by being brought to the surface as an 11 year old kid, wishing to have more of her da's religious traditions and having to re-learn them on her own terms, while also acclimating to new life and the sky, and all that

Ilona on the other hand: coming to the surface, experiencing new foods and cultures, and as an adult? the women.

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Honestly if/when I finish the game and add Ilona, I am honestly okay with making her just as a companion for the DAV team because tbh her Goofy Goober vibe (along with being a tomb raiding, scrappy, rough around the edges Lord of Fortune), means she's definitely Not the kind of person who would help with people's personal problems. Like she might crack a joke and try to help along that way, or to suggest that sometimes life deals you a shitty hand, and it's okay to feel your feelings but you just gotta keep carrying on.

Ilona to me, (as she develops in my head) is someone who has lost a lot of her family over the years, and really only has her mom and her maternal uncle, and that's about it. No siblings, only adopted cousins, and she easily makes friends but for her, having intimately close friendships is a rarity with her lifestyle. Lovers and girlfriends have come and gone, but getting attached is hard for her. She may be small but she herself loves big, and sometimes worries it might be too much

So all in all, I think for the most part, I'll be writing her as a companion more so than 'Rook', unless of course someone is writing one of the canon companions and would like to interact in that context :)

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Also, I do imagine Ilona as a female dwarf does have facial hair, but for the most part, unless she's on the road and doesn't have the means / time to do so, she shaves every morning and uses coconut oil as an aftershave (just a thin layer so it doesn't go everywhere/get on everything).

Otherwise this does mean she'll have a bit of stubble by morning, and if her partner allows her, may nuzzle them regardless lol.

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Varric teaching Ilona how to properly make latkes (since her da passed before he could teach her / can't read his handwriting on the recipe left behind). 🥺

Him calling her "kid" in game is gonna make me sob now thinking about this. ( @extravagantliar )

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I think Ilona's experiences in Tevinter (first coming to Minrathous with her mom to live with her Uncle Jar and his husband, and then again, as an unruly teenager, sent off by her mom for like, a year), have really helped shape her, get her to see more of the world and how it is lived than just going from Orzammar to eventually settling in Rivain.

It really helped develop her sense of justice; Jar is a healer by trade and runs an infirmary with medicines with his husband, and she saw a lot of folks come and go who were in bad shape. Her own medicinal skills are limited to the basics, but she does know how to treat basic wounds and apply poultices, how to apply a splint to a broken arm or leg, and how to massage out painful muscle 'knots'/contractions by hand.

Coming to back to Rivain and back to her mom made her appreciate the kind of life they had, and as she trained and got hired by Isabela and the Lords of Fortune, she brought with her not only a warrior's skillset and vigor, but one with a little more care and concern for others (but, still, not as much a care for herself when it comes to combat). She loves the sea, loves the smell of the air, and really grows into herself under the mantra of for gold and glory.

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In case the name wasn't a dead giveaway, the inspo behind Ilona Laidir's face is one of my fave women's rugby players, Ilona Maher. I loved her jawline and cheekbones and just general face shape; obviously, I wasn't making Ms Maher herself as my Rook, but I wanted to have that strong jaw and face structure.

So I figured I'd show you a side by side.

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Ilona is best friends with Davrin on a deep level in terms of devotion to a cause, but also, Ilona balances out his seriousness with humour and vice versa.

Ilona and Bellara are the two best friends who feed into each other's energy and have the same sense of humour, and always feel comfortable around each other.

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anyway needless to say, Ilona is not hosting any Hanukkah parties - or at least, not supplying any of the food.

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Primarily, Ilona's hobbies mostly include working out and drinking with her friends, but her more lowkey hobbies include metalworking (she knows this is a stereotype, leave her alone), glass blowing, and leather-working (Which she quite likes for more than a few reasons).

Overall, she just likes working with her hands. A lot.