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cardinal-crossing · 6 months ago

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Another edition to the flower series!! I had a lot of fun once again, and I think this one took even longer, at just shy of 7 hours. I am so happy that I'm graduating in a few days so I can do more stuff like this. It really does make me very happy to just sit down and paint for a few hours. This piece is a companion piece to the Emmet One, I did a few days ago.

Again, the flower meanings will be under the cut, but read at your discretion because it makes the piece sad.

Alright so flower meanings! Again most of the flowers mean grief in some aspect, but it's also related to memory (or the loss of) Rosemary Flowers (top left in the hat): Rosemary flowers usually represent love and remembrance. In this case, they represent Ingo's love for his missing person but the pain that comes with not being able to remember.

Asphodel Flowers (On the left near Ingo's face): The Asphodel flowers mean, "My regrets follow you to the grave," but it can also mean, "I will remember you beyond the tomb." The second meaning is the one that I am referencing, as Ingo will likely never see Emmet again, but he remembers that he misses someone, and regrets that he never got to meet them again.

White Camellia (over the eye): This flower means a few different things, but the one that I am referencing is the meaning "longing for you." I believe the camellia is akin to the rose, where its more familiar meaning is romance or heartbreak. Still, the meaning I am deriving from is one of the Victorian languages of flowers (there is a fantastic book I will reference at the very end of it is incredible and I love it dearly) Anyway, this flower is self-explanatory in the way that Ingo longs for the person he never remembers and likely will never see again, but he wishes he could. Forget-Me-Nots (on the right by Ingo's face): I reused this flower from the other piece to connect the two pieces, but I'll reuse the meaning here, as I am using it in the same context. Forget-me-nots represent true love; this flower means love and respect towards the person it is gifted to, and the person will never be forgotten in your thoughts. I am slightly alluding to maybe Ingo being gifted this flower by Emmet before he departed, as a reminder that someone respects and loves him very much, but Ingo cannot remember who. However, I haven't decided yet. Lily of the Valley (Very bottom in the bouquet): The lily of the valley's lesser-known meaning, the pain, and loss that comes with death, is the one I'm using. Representing Ingo's minimal memory of Emmet and Emmet essentially dying within Ingo's mind as Ingo makes a new home for himself in Hisui. However, despite all the sadness and loss, Ingo hasn't forgotten entirely. Willow Tree Leaves (on the right side in the hat band): I reused these as well, as I really like the shape of the leaves and how I worked it into the piece, I'll also reuse the same explanation of the meaning. While not technically a flower, the willow tree has its own meaning. A willow tree often represents sorrow and loss, as well as mourning. OKAY! Here is my rant about flowers. Also, the book I referenced is Florigrophy by Jessica Roux. I love all the illustrations, and the writing and explanations are wonderful. I am working on getting a copy of my own, as I have been borrowing the one from my school library, but it is wonderful. I would recommend it. Thank you so much for reading this! I love flowers, and painting them is one of my favorite things.

#cardinals art #submas #flower series #rosemary #asphodel flower #camellia flower #forget me nots #lily of the valley flower #willow tree leaves #warden ingo #pla #tw eye contact

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no-nameno-face · 2 years ago

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Taken Care Of Audio (read story first)

TAKEN CARE OF (WITH AUDIO)

Pairing: Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. Ellies had a long, hard day on patrol, and after stitching her up she requests some TLC.

Warnings: Smut heavy, sub!reader, dom!ellie, face riding (E!receiving), oral (E!receiving), masturbation (R!), cum eating (kinda)? Praise kink, minor blood kink, pain kink, stitches, boob play (E!receiving), first time smut writing, did not proof read (but probably should have...)

Author's Notes: Soooo I've never written smut before, lmfao. I made the audio first, for my thirsty Ellie girls on tiktok but this audio got a bit… out of hand (wayyy too graphic) so I didn't want to post it on there. I had a whole scenario in mind with the audio so I figured I might as well write it down and share it here. I am also very obsessed with Ellie receiving so I subconsciously brought that to life while editing the audio. I know it's not great, but it was very fun to make and write soo.. Please be nice to me, I'm sensitive. Lol. (I put in the story when the audio clip applies, the story starts with context) I’d like to improve my writing cause this was a good time so any advice would be appreciated!!

I hear the door downstairs creak open and shut, a bit louder than normal. I can track the footsteps marching to the stairs and I listen with a small smile as the thuds make their way up. I hear soft profanities getting closer. Ellie is home.

Sitting on our bed I turn my head right in time to see the door open, grinning at her as she walks in. She has that crease in her brow that I recognize as her tell-tell sign that she had a shit day. She shoots me a sly glance before looking away to take her flannel off leaving her in a white tank, dirty and disheveled she pulls it over her head.

My eyes trace down her back, scarred and bruised. Muscular, and toned. Heart flutters, and a familiar heat builds. It's crazy how after all these years just seeing her still triggers these primal feelings. She just does something to me. She always has. My eyes stop wondering when I see a deep fresh cut following the curve of her hip.

“Shit els? What happened” I get up and pace towards her keeping my eyes on the wound.

She bends over pulling her shoes off, losing her balance a bit and mumbling a frustrated “fuck” under her breath. Now behind her, I prod at the gash and she swears again. I can feel her flinch.

“I'll go get the stitches, sit down.” I say pulling her to the bed. She hits the bed with a thud and leans her elbows onto her knees.Shaking her head “it's not that bad babe, im fine.” She looks up at me and gives a half-hearted smile.

“I know you're fine,” I say, giving her a gentle look “I just don't want it to get infected, okay?”

“Anything you say doc” she says with a smirk before turning to address the cut herself. She touches it lightly and winces when her fingers make contact. I head to the bathroom across the hall from our room and grab the small white kit from the medicine cabinet, and make my way back to our room. She's still sitting at the end of the bed, now rolling her neck side to side.

I plop on the bed behind her, “okay, are you gonna tell me what happened now?” trying to distract her as I begin stitching the gash closed. Her back flexes and I hear her sharp intake of breath. Heart flutters.

“Fucking stalkers. I hate those things” she says, shaking her head and looking up to the ceiling. “I was on patrol,”

“With Jesse right?”

“Don't remind me,” she says with a scoff that is cut off by another huff as I add a new stitch. Damn. Every breath in sync with the sutures releases a morbid butterfly into the pit of my stomach. “Yeah, I was on patrol with jesse. We were checking out that one restaurant by the lodge, and I found an entrance to the attic. That place has been cleared out for like forever, so I went up on my own and got jumped by a stalker.” she shrugged her shoulders. “Fucking thing nailed me into an old piece of plywood. Piece of shit.” I tie her last stitch off, and give her a gentle pat to tell her she was finished. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to put the kit back.

I turned in the doorway on my way out, “Maybe you should’ve been more careful.” She swings her head at me with squinted eyes. I shrug and turn, heading to the bathroom “just saying!”

“Fuck off” she calls back, I lightly laugh.

Back in the bedroom, she's lying on her stomach, head resting on her hands. “And then of course Jesse had to give me a fucking lecture about not going anywhere on my own, team communication! All that bullshit.” She turns onto her side propping herself up with one arm, “I’m just so fucking over it.” she looked absolutely exasperated. Oh how I love her dramatics. I sit facing her and her free hand falls to my hip. She looks at her hand, then up to me. Those green eyes, familiar and warm. Home. I smile at her.

“That sucks. I'm sorry. I mean Jesse should know by now, there's no getting through that thick skull of yours. What's a lecture gonna do?” I smirk at her.

“Ouch.” she sneers at me, one brow up. She lets out a quiet laugh, and looks back down to her hand on my waist. “Thanks for stitching me up babe.”

“You know I don't mind.” I say casually. She smiles, an inside joke painting a picture on the walls of her thoughts.

“So weird that you're into that.” she chuckles

“I'm not into that.. I just..” her eyes darted to mine. My heart pounded in my ears. She's right, but it was just so blunt. “There's just something about a strong woman who needs my help.” I say fawning innocent eyes, partially joking, but subconsciously egging her on. She sees right through me.

She raises her eyebrows, taking her hand from my hip and pushing herself up so she's sitting opposite of me. She smiles, “so stupid.” her eyes drift down to my lips, then back to me. I feel red flush my cheeks. Her gaze darkens slightly, noticing. She tilts her head looking at me. “I mean it's okay that you are, i'm not kink shaming” Her hand meets my thigh, electric, and she gives me a sideways smile. I gape at her, trying to make light of the tension building between us.

“So you like taking care of strong women? Yeah?” she says quietly with a smile in her voice as her eyes trace down my body to her hand. Her thumb started circling the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “Funny, you're normally the one that begs to be'' she looks up at me teasingly “taken care of.” Fuck. I feel heat pool in my belly. My knees squeeze together by their own volition. She feels it and her teasing gaze turns to something else as her eyes shift to them. She bites her lip subtly. This woman.

Her hand moves to the button of her pants, “well i did have a hard day,” she undoes it and glances at me with an evil smile. “And since you enjoy taking care of strong women” she pulled on her zipper. “Mind doing me a favor?”

Jesus Christ.

“What do you have in mind?” I say, wide eyed. I try to sound cool but my voice comes out hungry. Starved. I watch the switch flip in Ellie's eyes at my words.

“Take your shirt off.” she demanded with raised brows, and before I could think I was pulling her baggy shirt I was lounging in over my head. I'm left sitting there topless, with nothing but my black underwear on. She rolled famished eyes over my bare skin for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes settled back on mine. I fidgeted my hands in my lap, feeling suddenly too vulnerable. She leans in slowly without breaking eye contact and my breath catches. Inches from me she whispers “Take off my pants.”

Immediately I am in her service, at her beck and call. She knows all she has to do is ask. I'll do anything for her. She leans back onto her hands and lifts her hips slightly as I peel her jeans down the soft, yet lean, curves of her hips. Down her thighs, over her knees, and then calves, my eyes tracing every line of her legs. I toss them on the floor, and look back up to her awaiting further instruction. Her eyes are smiling with a dark inflection.

“Lay down.” I looked at her confused, thinking I was the one taking care of her. Her tone was not a question however, so I obliged. I centered myself on the bed and pulled the nearest pillow under my head, keeping my eyes on her as she stood up and took her white boxers off. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her. Pretty, untamed. My knees squeeze, I don't try to hide it. She looks at them, and scans back up to my eyes. She stares into me as she walks around the bed to my side. I bite at my nail anxiously.

“I want you to take care of me, make me feel good m’kay? Can you do that for me?” she asks with a small smile. I nod.

She looks over me once again (START OF AUDIO) “fuck, you look so pretty.” She climbs onto the bed, looking at me like prey to a predator. “Be a good girl for me” she whispers, as she swings one of her legs over my head. Shit, I get it now. Her pussy meets my lips and she lets out a soft “fuck” at my eager mouth. My arms wrap around her thighs, hands gripping soft flesh. She starts to move, pleasuring herself on my tongue. She moans softly, “needed this” she says desperately as her eyes drift close and her head drifts to the ceiling. Her taste envelopes me, her wetness growing by the second with the addition of my saliva wetting her folds.

“Okay,” she moans, picking up her pace, grinding against my face. She looks down at me, before her eyes dart shut “There!” I feel her body pulse at the peak of her thrusts and I know she's found her spot. Her bud flicking roughly over my tongue. “Oh shit.. There. There we go” she continues at her pace for a moment. Her pulsing getting stronger. Her eyes snap open and peer at me “Jesus, you feel so good.” she says as her head rolls back and her eyes closed again. She continues her rhythm as I pull my arm from under her leg and skim my hand up her body “okay” she says lost in the sensation. My palm cups her right breast and I squeeze impatiently, then rub a loving thumb over her nipple, circling it. “Damn… yeah” she sighs then her hand meets mine and squeezes the sensitive flesh with me “Baby just like that.” she bites her lip with a whispered “fuck” as she rides my face.

Her moans and the graphic sound of her wetness fill the room. I reach my other hand down into my underwear and begin circling my own clit firmly, unable to avoid the tension building within my own body. “Fuck me.” she whines into the air, before looking down to me with adoring eyes, “that's my good girl.” her eyes tighten, “lets go” she whispers as she begins to grind harder and faster into my mouth. “Come on.” My hand on my core meets her pace. “Good. There. Okay. There we go” I love how she talks mindlessly when we fuck. Her voice is enough to bring me closer to my own apex. I begin moaning beneath her, unable to contain my own pleasure. She looks down at me “shhhh shh shh shh” she hushes as she pulls my hand from my aching clit before I can reach my undoing. I whimper in disappointment as she pulls my arm from beneath her leg and takes my other one from her chest before pinning them above my head in her strong hands, deepening her weight into my face. “Shut up” she corrects.

Her rhythm continues and I can tell the new pressure she's added is building her quickly. “God damn.” she says as her eyes squeeze shut. “Okay” That same wrinkle between her eyes deepens again, this time out of pleasure. She rides harder pushing the back of my head further into the pillow. Her moans grow louder, more animalistic. her hands on my wrists tighten to the point that I am sure that there will be a mark. “Holy fuck” she gasps. She pushes hard against me and I can feel the pulse intensify, her sounds grow and grow until suddenly her hands let go of my wrists and bury deep into my hair, pushing me even further into her just at the right time when her head falls back in quiet breathy moans, she rides out her high on my mouth. Her legs shaking and clit pounding as I suck against it, encouraging her. Tasting her. Worshiping her. She lets out a whimpering breath at the end of her climax and looks down at me beneath her. “Oh my god babe.” She slowly lifts off of my face and I see her flinch slightly at the air touching her sensitivity. She takes a breath before looking at me with a lazy smile.

“All right. Your turn.”

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie smut #ai audios #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x you #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n

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incomprehensiblegiberish · 10 months ago

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(Note: This has an edit at the bottom providing context and clarification, please read that as well) Because its an election year and I keep thinking about this, I would like to remind everyone,

THE PRESIDENT DOES NOT MAKE LAWS THAT WILL EFFECT YOUR LIFE SEVERELY

The president does not even MAKE LAWS. The president can VETO a law, but the real people voting for specific laws are voted in STATE ELECTIONS.

If you want change in your life by the government, you have to vote in LOCAL, AND STATE ELECTIONS

I repeat

LOCAL AND STATE ELECTIONS ARE TO PICK WHO MAKES LAWS FOR YOUR STATE AND WHO REPRESENTS IT.

I am sick and tired of seeing people complain about the amount of old people in the government. You have to VOTE. If younger people vote, younger people are more likely to get elected, and then the voting pool is larger. Old people are going to vote for other old people, and they are the only ones voting in state elections therefore, old white men are the only ones represented. You have to vote if you want an accurate representation in your government. The president doesn't do shit regarding laws (other than being able to veto laws). Thats military. Not laws. Get it together, this is an elementary level skill. Its literally taught in the 5th grade, how people don't understand that is beyond me.

VOTE IN STATE ELECTIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE THAT IS HOW YOU GET LAWS PASSED THAT YOU WANT.

The president is only important in regards to MILITARY. The president is commander in chief of MILITARY. Not laws. If you want the US to stop supporting a certain country, vote for someone that agrees or is at least the better option (Damn the two-party system). If you want a law passed to protect your rights, vote for senators and representatives that want to protect your rights. Please for the love of god, so much could be fixed by voting. The system is broken yes, but it is not the only one to blame, go vote for the love of god I swear. EDIT: I would like to clarify some things. This is meant as a GENERAL STATEMENT. The president CAN do things that affect you severely, but GENERALLY the president is not in charge of laws that severely affect people day to day as the laws that the president deals with are for the ENTIRE COUNTRY. And therefore, are usually less specific. This does not mean presidential voting is any less important, that is the opposite of what this post was saying. This post is because the presidential elections seem to be the only one people vote in. And its good that people vote in this, but the issue this is mainly from is the fact that state and local elections are overlooked constantly, and then people complain about how the government doesn't provide representation when no one is going to vote. I am not saying the president doesn't do things, the president is important, but we can't forget about the part actually responsible for making laws in states and in the federal government. I see so many posts about how laws are being made by people who no one (at least over the internet) seems to agree with, and people complaining about how horrible the government is and how many old people are in there. And I agree, there's too many old people past retirement age in the government making laws and other things, but in order to get them out of the government, people must vote for other, younger people. Its not just going to be fixed by screaming about things over the internet. This post is not going to fix anything, it was a rant because I am pissed about this.

This is likely going to be the only update I add to this, I will not be responding to anything stated about this post, or put into reblogs. I am not in the habit of discussing politics with people and I don't plan on getting a start any time soon. I hope you all have a good day and thank you for coming to my rant I felt the need to throw here

#us politics #rare political posting from me #but this needs to be said #important #i know this is really weird from this blog #but it really needs to be said #I see people all screaming about the president #but no one talks about the importance of voting for your senators or representatives #but everyone complains about old people in the government #only together can we make it look less like a nursing home bingo night at congress

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just-a-ghost00 · 4 months ago

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What they thought the last time they saw you?

Decks used : Threads of fate oracle & White Numen tarot. Warning : this reading might be triggering depending on the group you pick.

Group 1

Note : I had to redo this reading because of interferences. When you last met, their might have been other people trying to get your/their attention. I also had to do an unusual type of spread and pick the cards myself instead of shuffling because of these interfering energies. So the context in which you met may have been unusual for you or unpredicted. You or they could have had to change the way they proceed in order to get what you/they wanted.

The Creator, The Pillar, Compassion, Get wild | Knight of swords, 7 of cups rx, ace of swords, 10 of wands

The focus is put more on what they felt than what they thought. And I guess that says a lot about this person. They felt very excited and adventurous. There is a sense of novelty surrounding this meeting. Like this person is taking a new founding step in their journey and they are very optimistic about it. I feel like here we are talking about people that only recently met or whose connection is in the beginning stages. It's more like a crush / new encounter / fresh friendship energy. There might have been a wall or an important structure standing behind this person. Like something that litterally and metaphorically supported them. Right away I am picking up on a stage. Because the image depicted on the Pillar card it reminds me of Paris (Arc de Triomphe) and Italy/Roma (Arch of Titus). If there is maybe one thought that crossed their mind, it was that this moment with you was somewhat magical. They were very grateful, hopeful and beyond amazed by the amount of support and love they felt. It gave them wings and made them want to surpass themselves. But with this feeling of bliss also came a feeling of dread. They felt pressured. Pressured by time and space. Pressured by the passion, by the acts, the words, the people around them. They felt like they were not given a choice or given time to process what was going on. They felt pressured because they didn't know what to think and yet they were expected to have thoughts. They knew that you expected a lot from them and they felt like they were not in a position to honor their duty towards you, to give you proper thought and attention. To communicate clearly how they felt and what they hoped for. Things were going too fast too soon and as much as they loved being with you, they also regret how it went. I was drawn to the depiction of he knight of swords which I mistook for the queen. This knight looks very friendly and charming, and that to me felt unusual. So another thought that might have crossed this person's mind was that your friendliness was suspicious or didn't feel genuine. Maybe because they aren't used to such reactions from other people. They thought it hid something and it made them a little uncomfortable.

Group 2

Note : for this group I felt like picking more cards than the first. I interpret this as them having a lot on their plate. There were a lot of things they regret not doing or not saying. This is them showing that they still care. Then when I started interpreting I felt the urge to cover the cards. They didn't want to see the truth of what was happening.

Ancestors, Speak truth, Death, Sacred sexuality, Reflect | 5 of cups, The Sun, The Tower, The Hanged man, 8 of pentacles

They thought that they were losing something very precious and dear to their heart. And that it is almost impossible for them to get it back unless they work really hard on themselves. We're talking here about people who are in separation and/or in conflict. They realized that you were important to them when it was too late. They thought that had they told you the truth about their family, about their past, potentially about their children, things would have unfolded differently. They thought about telling you they missed you and that losing you would break their heart but they didn't. They were too shocked to speak up. For some people, we're talking about a deceased loved one. There might have been a hidden truth in the family regarding the passing of someone. Possibly a child. That feels like only a small portion of you though. For others, I'm picking up on someone not telling you about their sexual preferences. They didn't have the courage to tell you they couldn't love you the way you hoped because their sexual preferences were different than what you assumed. And as long as they don't regret who they are and what they love, they regret not telling you because they know they betrayed your trust. They thought they ruined your friendship. They though that a time apart from each other was necessary if they wanted to be able to come back into your life. That you would need time to heal and this could only be possible if they weren't a part of your life for a while.

Group 3

Note : for this group I felt the need to shift my position. I was sitting on the ground and I turned my back on the soread. This tells me that one of you has chosen to turn their back on the connection. There was only one card I didn't have to pick. Somehow I think it's relevant to the reading but I don't know what that means.

The Weaver, Soul work, Ancestors, Release | Queen of wands, King of cups, White Numen rx, Queen of cups

"I gave you all and yet you chose to turn your back on me". I heard that very clearly in my head looking at the spread. "There wasn't much to hesitate about. I was right there. It was pretty obvious. You shouldn't have had to pick, just to listen and pay attention". They thought that you were made for each other, destined to be together but you didn't see eye to eye with them on that matter. My skin feels very itchy right now. It's like it didn't feel right for this person to be ignored and chosen over someone else. There could have been several scenarios : some of you could have prefered your family over this person, others you chose another romantic partner over the one that was interested in you. They thought that by chosing a different path, you ruined all chances of this connection to bloom into something beautiful. They truly believed in the potential of what you shared, they were willing to put in the work and they don't understand why you couldn't see it. They're like "everything was written, all conditions were aligned for this to work and yet, you discarded it like it never mattered". For others I feel like you chose your status and career over the connection. They feel like your fame and success mattered more than their feelings or the happiness you could have built together. They thought this situation was unfair. That they have nothing to be blamed for because they know in their heart they did everything in their power to make it work, that they never caused you any wrong. They feel like they were never enough for you or that you didn't like them in the first place.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #spiritual pac #love pac #tarot reading #oracle reading

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kerrikins · 9 months ago

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The glimpse that we had of this scene was really gut-wrenching for me.

White. Little baby White who was the focus of so much speculation and clownery (including from myself) and also the focus of so much love. The sunshine boy who was the apple of Tee's eye, who came into his life and brought him love and joy again just when he thought that he didn't deserve either.

In traditional stock horror, White would live as the 'Final Girl', the innocent who never dies, who must escape due to this fact.

But DFF is not stock horror and so instead White died at the hand of his lover, leaving him alone and spiralling into madness.

And we get this glimpse of White in the past where he looks at New in all his innocence and says 'But I haven't done anything'. And of course the context was different, but doesn't it say a lot?

People speculated about this line, including myself. Laughed about it, because it was true - he hadn't done anything, so why this weird scene with Tan!

Turns out it was more meaningful than any of us could imagine.

'I haven't done anything', because he was just a boy. Two years younger than the others, so 17 or 18 at most. Just at the start of his life, on a trip with his boyfriend to have some fun at a cabin.

'I haven't done anything', because he wasn't even a part of what happened. He had no secret past or connection to Non, he was no part of anything. He didn't hurt Non or New or anyone else in the show for that matter.

He was just a kid in love who went on a trip with his boyfriend, and he died in a horrible situation.

'People die in horror', I was told - which I'm well aware of, since I watch a ton of horror and am well versed in it. But this is a reminder that sometimes it's a tragedy, isn't it? A bold choice and one that I applaud the writers for making.

#dff: the series #dff spoilers #dff meta #dff the series #dead friend forever #dff white

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system-voices · 5 months ago

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Hi everybody, I wanna start off by giving some context to the body & who I am.

I'm Kevin (👊) & the body is mixed, half white & half Filipino. I, in headspace, am a black alter.

One of our online friends has been showing us posts about alter races, the debate of whether or not their real, is it gatekeeping or justified to say that poc alters in white bodies (or even just of bodies that do not align to their race in headspace) cannot participate in practices of the cultures their races align with. You know, that type of debate.

Before I say what I'm going to say, I need to remind you all listen to the voices of POC & POC systems. Now, here's my particular take on this syscourse.

White bodied systems & their poc alters saying slurs or trying to justify white people's racist behavior are racist. You are in a white body, whether you have a host who is white, a core who is white, or even if you have no one in headspace who identifies as white it doesn't matter. It's racist. You're being actively racist. You are in a white body, people are perceiving you as white. You being in a white body means you have the responsibility to show other white bodies that saying slurs isn't okay. That certain racist behaviors aren't okay. & if this is something that offends you or makes you feel suddenly very defensive about your behaviors. Maybe you're more racist then you thought. This is not something like: "oh I have a Japanese alter & they have a Japanese name! I'd love to learn more about their culture & participate in certain parts of it that I can to bring joy to this alter" this is not who this is aimed at. If their name is a normal name from their culture or if their name is from a show/movie/media from that culture, that's fine. You guys indulging in open practices, clothes, food from that culture? No problem. This is normal, no matter if you're a system or not. Trying gate keep open things or (normal/public) names is the starting spiral to back tracking into racism. It's a slippery slope to suddenly being against interracial relationships & the debate if someone is "enough of X to talk about it". Cultural sharing is NOT cultural appropriation. If it is an open practice for anyone to partake in, then it's fine. Food, everyday clothing, learning about their culture, learning their language(s). This is something you can do even if you're not the race that culture is aligned with. This applies to any race. An alters race is real, but that does not mean they're being perceived as that race. & I wish a lot of those alters would realize that. Yes, I am black, but I am not being perceived that way. I'm not even being perceived like a man, another thing I am, because the body does not look that way. I am not being treated like a black man when I front. When I front I am being treated the way the outer world perceives the body: A white passing "woman". & because of that I don't say or do certain things that maybe I would if people could see & acknowledge my blackness. Along with the fact that my life experience is not the average black persons. I cannot speak on black peoples experiences I can only speak on my experience, & I accept that.

Some Reminders because I know this websites reading comprehension can be ass:

I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad, I'm saying this to state my thoughts on a topic. This is not secretly about gatekeeping culture. It's about not letting more white bodied systems, or white people, try & use those alters to "justify" their racist behavior without having to do any self reflection.

LISTEN TO POC & POC SYSTEMS, BEGGING PLEADING ON MY KNEES YOU GUYS!!!

#sysblr #system stuff #syscourse #plural system #pluralgang #plurality #actually plural #plural community #actually a system #actuallyplural #system #systems #system things #endo safe #pro endo #endo friendly #👊: Kevin #👊

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becauseimanicequeen · 23 days ago

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My Semi-Coherent Thoughts About Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo So Far (ep. 1-6)

This is a response to some asks I got after this week's ep. 5 and 6, and some additional thoughts from me. I'll mostly throw some random points out there because I've been living in right-brain-land for most of this week (or weeks? What's time anyway, eh?), so being coherent seems like too much of a challenge right now, lol. But this post needs to be written so I can stop thinking about it and focus on something else.

Let's start with two Anons who dropped into my inbox with comments of the same context: that Dohoi was an asshole and that I wouldn't be able to defend him anymore...

Clearly, Anons, you seemed to have completely missed the point of my previous posts where I said I was neutral (I still am) and refused to go into a discussion about taking sides because that's not where the interesting bits are (not for me, anyway).

I'm on both their sides and on no one's side.

Juyeong and Dohoi have both made mistakes:

Juyeong lied about Dohoi's dad abusing him

Dohoi pretended to not know about it

Juyeong chose to stand up to Dohoi's dad even though he knew that man was a violent piece of shit

Dohoi called the police, afraid he wouldn't be able to focus on his exam, but he couldn't focus anyway

None of them communicated any of this to the other in the past

Etc.

To say that Dohoi is the asshole while Juyeong is an angel is completely ignoring an important point: nothing is ever black or white. (Yes, this is just fiction, but it's a realistic piece of fiction that shows this very point.)

Also, to think that only one of them has/does suffer is a very one-sided way of looking at it. To be fair, it's easy to fall into that trap since we're getting a lot of Juyeong's pov at the moment while Dohoi's story is still kept in the dark.

But imagine how much of a self-sabotager you are for choosing to push away people who love you because you inherently believe that you will never be good enough or will never be worthy of love. Dohoi has been in so much pain for such a long time it's familiar to him. It takes years, decades, maybe even a whole lifetime to climb out of a hole like that. And he might've been able to do that on his own if Juyeong hadn't shown up at the funeral and reminded him of all the things from the past once again.

One of the Anons then proceeded to list all the ways Juyeong was abandoned and that Dohoi did the exact same thing to him, which made Dohoi even more of an asshole...

I can't help but wonder if we've seen the same show.

Because Dohoi was abandoned too.

They’re both dealing with abandonment issues.

None of them had present parent growing up

Juyeong was adopted, which will always be a wound for him (and being adopted by those kinds of parents didn’t make it any better)

I can’t quite remember if they mentioned that Dohoi’s mom died or left but, either way, both can lead to abandonment issues (especially when a child is forced to go through it)

Then we have Hyeonho who turned from Dohoi's friend to his bully (again, Dohoi was abandoned)

When shit went down in the past, Juyeong left with his parents, and while that was a valid reason, it was yet another person who left Dohoi (which, to be fair, made Dohoi indirectly responsible since he called the police)

And then Juyeong was abandoned by Dohoi who went radio silent for years

They are both dealing with abandonment issues. Just because the show, at this point, is mostly focusing on the effects of Dohoi abandoning Juyeong doesn’t mean Dohoi wasn’t abandoned as well. Because he was. It’s mentioned and shown in subtle ways throughout the show.

Being abandoned can be a huge trauma for a person (especially for kids who don't have the tools to deal with important people leaving or dying). And we all have different trauma responses, which I think is another interesting point of this show:

Juyeong’s trauma response is to fight (he did so when he stood up for Dohoi against the bullies in the past, when he chose to stand up against Dohoi’s dad, but also when he physically punched a teacher)

Dohoi’s trauma response is flight (he tried to ignore that Juyeong was abused by his dad, he never put up a fight even when he was beaten by the bullies, he left after he threatened his dad with a knife, etc.)

None of those is a "better"/"worse" response

These characters are both traumatized for fuck's sake

And, the thing is, we've seen time and time again that the last thing Dohoi wants is to fight. He reacts even to the mere mention of it.

Juyeong fighting (even though it's never physical with Dohoi) won’t give him the results he wants from Dohoi.

And Juyeong, who was abandoned by his birth parents, adopted by a couple who didn't seem to want him anyway, and might think that no one ever fought for him, will always be hurt by Dohoi avoiding things.

They are each other's opposites even though they're dealing with a similar type of trauma.

And they won’t be able to be happy with each other (or with themselves, which is, honestly, more important) until they deal with their own trauma.

(Also, I don’t know about you, but Hwang Daseul choosing to use these contrasting trauma responses for these boys is fucking genius to me because there's so much potential for angst, which we've gotten a whole 3-course meal of. I'm well fed at this table and I won't be leaving any time soon, lol.)

One of the Anons also briefly mentioned Dohoi's old home and how he should just sell it to Juyeong because it was the only place where Juyeong was happy, and I...

*Sigh*

I'll have to admit that this was the first time in the show that my neutrality was tested because... If you can watch the following scene without feeling empathy for Dohoi, you're (no judgment) colder than me (a certified ice queen):

Imagine going back to the place where you were abused all those years. Dohoi took one look at the place, and his past traumas and emotions about what happened came pouring back. I'm not surprised he wants to sell it. Hell, if I was him, I'd want to decimate the place. But, instead, he has to deal with Juyeong wanting to buy it even though Juyeong knows what went down in that house.

If Juyeong wants to keep it "as is" to make sure Dohoi doesn't regret selling the place, Juyeong is delulu. If he wants to buy it and build something new, that's different. But we don't know what he wants yet. We don't really know why he's so intent on buying the place (other than not wanting Dohoi to regret it).

Either way, that whole situation made me feel a bit weird about Juyeong. Buying the place where the person you loved experienced trauma? What the actual fuck? And I'm not surprised that Dohoi is feeling some kind of way about it (and if he still thinks it's because Juyeong feels some kind of loyalty or guilt towards his dad, that's so fucking sad).

I do think the place is important to the rest of the story, though. It's the place where theirs began. It's the place where they loved and lost and were abused. It's the place that contains the events they both need to reconcile and deal with before moving on.

Which leads me to my speculations of where this might be going in the last two episodes. Because I think Juyeong will take Dohoi to his old home. Especially since the search history on the GPS in the car he rented included it.

That place will always be an open wound for them until they deal with the past, so Dohoi can stop running from it and Juyeong can stop living in it.

It was also the place where Dohoi's walls crumbled for the first time since the time jump, so Juyeong might think that's the best place to deal with the shit once and for all.

Walden Law Firm was also in the GPS search history, which is where Hyeonho works. My guess is that Juyeong has already gone to see Hyeonho when he meets up with Dohoi at the end of the 6th episode. Whatever might've gone down in that meeting (Juyeong saying Dohoi broke it off again, Juyeong demanding to know what happened with Dohoi during the past 12 years, Hyeonho spilling the beans, or whatever), it might be the reason why Hyeonho called Dohoi to say they needed to talk.

Then there's the biggest question of all the questions I have, which is about what happened to Dohoi during those 12 years. If Dohoi didn't graduate (at least not as an architect), how did he gain everything he now has?

In regards to college, I don't think it was anything more dramatic than him not managing to have the right results on the entrance exam. Math is an essential part of architecture, and we've already seen that math wasn't Dohoi's forte.

About his apparent wealth, though. As I mentioned before, I can't remember if they mentioned whether Dohoi's mom died or left. But, if she left, there might've been some inheritance if she eventually died, which could also be how he and Hyeonho met (since these things, more often than not, require lawyers).

If that's true, feeling that his wealth was "unearned" might be a reason he lied about the floorplans to that house. (Btw, I can't believe Juyeong didn't call Dohoi's bluff because I would've called him out on his bullshit so fucking fast, lol.)

I think it's also a part of his facade to pretend that he was okay all those years even though he was suffering (which I'm sure we'll see more of in the coming episodes).

But I also feel like there's something more. More to the reason he didn't study architecture and more to how he gained his wealth. And definitely more to what was going on between Dohoi and Hyeonho and how involved Hyeonho has been the past 12 years.

There's still so much of Dohoi's story to be revealed, and I can't wait to see it all unfold.

#it seems like I could string more than a couple of sentences together after all lol #I could go on a tangent about how the fight and flight responses are sometimes a desperate attempt to survive #and how both of them suck at communicating #but I've been working on this for way to long already #lmao #let free the curse of taekwondo #korean ql #korean bl #korean series #my shit

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theconstantsidekick · 1 year ago

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i'm here as a hater.

i watched red white and royal blue and i'm here to be a hater.

i was having such a great time on tumblr, looking over people's posts and then i went to letterboxd to leave a review and my fucking god. why are there so many people bashing this film for being a bad adaptation. worse yet, why are they queer?

i understand, trust me, i completely understand loving a piece of media and waiting impatiently with bated breath to watch the adaptation of it into another recognisable medium. i'm a mortal instruments girlie, i'm a last of us girlie, i'm a fault in our stars girlie, i'm a watchmen girlie. i get it. i do. sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit.

but bruv, i am also a person who works in the film industry and you have no fucking clue the amount of effort it takes to make a film let alone a film that's an adaptation of a pre-existing, utterly loved piece of fiction that is revered by so many. and this movie goes one step further. this is a cheesy, cutesy rom-com about a queer couple. how many of those do we even have? no. really. how many hopeful, easy-going, cheesy queer rom-coms have you watched? can you count them on one hand? do you need a google search to remind yourself of them?

this film is a rare commodity and fine, maybe that's not a good enough reason for you to be 'lenient' to it... but it kinda is. no adaptation will be perfect, not really, not for everyone. every piece of media has it's flaws but adaptations most of all. but this film does something that you cannot dismiss simply because your favourite scene wasn't in it. personally i so miss alex's speech before the election results are announced. i miss ellen's powerful and amazing speech when she does win. i miss june, i miss raphael and i miss leo, and the powerpoint presentations and i miss cornbread knowing alex's sins.

but none of that will ever take away from the beauty of being able to sit in front of my laptop and watch the most intimate queer love scene i have ever laid my eyes on. it just won't.

anyway.... i'm rambling. the point that i was trying to make before i got lost in all this, was that you are obviously allowed to hate on the movie but like... be kinder about it? don't hate it because it's not a straight up remake of the book. don't hate it because it's cheesy. idk man, just hate kindly, if possible.

this is a huge step for us.

i don't want the response to this film to seem negative in a way that gives the (already reluctant) studious more reason to not make queer media for queer people, you know?

there will come a time in this life where we can hate and critique queer media without worrying about all this context but we're not there yet?

so i guess, like henry, i'm also asking for y'all patience.

however, whoever fucking said that nick and taylor don't have chemistry can suck my huge ugly metaphorical dick. fuck you. they made me week in the knees.

#rwrb spoilers #rwrb movie #rwrb #rwrb film #red white and royal blue movie #red white and royal blue #red white and royal blue spoilers #first prince #alex claremont diaz #henry prince of wales

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murfpersonalblog · 4 months ago

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IWTV S2 Ep8 Musings - Lestat & Gender: "I am she, she is me."

Scrolling the tags and sighing, cuz I just KNEW people were gonna take this line out of context, as proof that Lestat's the woman/wife/mother/femme-fatale (which @dwreader had to explain cuz folks just don't get it X X), blahblahblah. I've already said my whole bit on Lestat as the patriarchal father/husband, and the dandified matador/killer (a la Bruce). But I just wanna remind y'all that THE SAINT IS NOT A CITY.

Either the fandom's got a bunch of new Lestans posting who missed the discourse from S1 about the meaning behind Les's monologues from the books; or y'all just have frightfully short memories.

He's NOT talking about stupid effing New Orleans; and he's NOT calling himself a woman. He's talking about LOUIS. Louis' motherland! Louis' culture! Louis' ancestor's bones! Louis' grave soil! Louis's HOME--Louis' back at home, and Louis IS his home.

But here y'all go, always centering everything on Lestat's yaasification, and ignoring the Louis-shaped elephant in the room.

Lestat's been talking about Louis to his nameless Millennial Fledgling this whole time. Everyone knows who Louis is--and what he means to Lestat. This is CRUCIAL for Loustat going forward in TVC, when Lou's held as collateral against Lest by Akasha and Rhoshamandes.

But for some reason Lestans are hella quick to separate Lestat's identity from Louis every chance y'all get, then wanna whine & complain about the QotD movie pairing Lestat with Jesse, or AR tryna pair Les with Tom, Dick & Harry.

And YES, I will die on the hill that this whole anti-feminine discourse about AMC!Louis is couched in racial prejudice and biases--a trap that even Black fans who are pro-Louis fall into, while ignoring the struggles of effeminate/feminized gay Black men in their own effing community (X X X X).

But this is BY FAR more endemic in spaces predominately occupied by straight white women, who utterly fail to relate to their direct antithesis: gay Black men (X X). So of course they'll leap on every chance they get to glom onto long-haired blonde white drama queen Lestat as their spirit animal, even when he's LITERALLY TELLING Y'ALL that he himself identifies himself with LOUIS.

(Lestat's toxic color blindness is a whole 'nother conversation, omg. X X X)

Lestat says "she" because it's conventional speech to refer to places--especially continents, countries, and cities--as female, denoting motherhood and wives--places as people that take care of their own, as a mother would her children and/or spouse; a la the Statue of Liberty, personified virtues, and most abstract concepts we've inherited from Greco-Roman gender inequality about women as home-makers (HOUSEWIVES) being barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen. It's not even an exclusively English phenomenon. NOLA, like any city, is referred to as a "she."

So yes, to an extent, Lestat is channeling LOUIS; waiting at home for his spouse to come back and TAKE CARE OF HIM again. But Lestat is NOT a home-maker. He's living in a nasty AF shack, with only his music for company (and we know his tour's all about TVL & Akasha & Marius & Claudia & Louis). He treats his own Millennial Fledgling (his BLOOD CHILD) like trash; setting him on fire "IN LOUIS' HONOR" and not even knowing his name--he's NOT tryna be no one's MOTHER. He couldn't even bring himself to be Claudia's effing FATHER when she was literally burning alive two feet away from him, FFS.

But it's not about the brick & mortar or the PLACE itself--it's about the PERSON it's attached to--cuz Lestat always knew that Louis would eventually come back to NOLA--come back HOME--and FIND LESTAT WAITING FOR HIM THERE.

EVERYTHING & ANYTHING FOR LOUIS.

But AMC leaves it deliberately open-ended and ambiguous what Louis says to Lestat during their hug, and we don't see Lestat in Dubai, or any implication that Loustat is remarried/a couple again. Louis' putting down the torch, to stop accepting everyone's effing dregs; "your tired, your poor, your huddled masses...the wretched refuse of your teeming shore." Cuz Lou's decided to finally start learning how to live on his own for the first time in his entire life; for himself, not other people--AND realize that he doesn't need to rely on his husbands to fight his battles for him. "I own the night!"

#lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #interview with the vampire #language #gender inequality #gender dynamics

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aromanticannibal · 1 month ago

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yeah so if you genuinely don't know how to write an email instead of using chatgpt and getting something that 1: has a chance to just fucking suck (and potentially be noticeably AI) and 2: uses stolen content, ruins the environment and indicates to the gen-AI companies that you want more gen-AI bullshit that will steal things and ruin the environment, you can look up how to write an email or look up email examples. here's a website, here's another, here's the wikihow page (it's a bit shit but it does its job), here's a good one for formal emails, and here's an email I sent today (more examples under the cut):

something that's really annoying right now is that most websites are desperately trying to sell you their cool funky AI friend that can write the email for you, and look at me: you have to tell it to go fuck itself (in your head, don't use it). this isn't about you being a moron for not being about to write an email, I struggled with it for a while too, I still do sometimes, writing emails notoriously sucks. gen-AI sucks more.

also, this might not be the case for everyone, but please at least try to learn how to write the email before using chatgpt, it will help you forever. if you have a question about emails or if you're not sure how to write one specific email, you can send an ask: I'm not all-knowing but I'll do my best to help.

I can mostly help for college/high school levels and I am studying in a French school, so the codes may not be exactly the same, but I am in fact being taught by English speakers, sometimes native ones.

I'll give more general advice at the end, but here are a few examples of emails I would send.

If there's even a small chance of your teacher not recognizing you, write at the top something like "I am Name Last name, I am in your X-Y-Z class on Mondays from 8AM to 9AM". This isn't too useful in high school because your teachers likely know you, but in college your teachers might not. This will give them context.

Do your best to avoid typos or grammar errors. Reread your email, especially if the teacher is a language teacher.

Be polite, always, unless the teacher explicitly specified they don't care.

You do not need to beg for anything, don't debase yourself, and if a teacher makes you debase yourself, report them. You shouldn't have to beg for something that you ask for in an email. (so no more than one please per email, and avoid this one please if possible).

If it's possible and safe for you, prefer discussing important matters IRL.

Remember who you're talking to. Is the teacher strict or chill? Younger or older? Are they a white abled man or a Black disabled woman? Are they very into "respect the teacher!!" or do they put themselves at your level? Are you a 15 y/o high school student or a 20 something college student? Is this teacher familiar with you? Have they been understanding in the past? etc.

Generally, despite all my warnings above, a simple polite email will be fine with most teachers. If you're not sure how to identify the above possibilities or how to alter your emails depending on them, just write a formal, polite email (like seen above).

Some universities have online courses that teach you how to write emails. If there is a web-type course in your university and you can take it, take it.

Mine has one. I hate it. They defined a tweet as a "post on a blogging platform". I have to complete it or I don't pass. It still has a good tutorial for writing emails. You are lucky in the sense that emails are like the basic thing that even the boomer teachers know how to do (even if they don't like doing it), so there are a lot of resources for people who haven't written emails yet and need to learn.

If possible, ask your teacher at the start of the year what email to contact them with - if you're lucky, they'll say things about what kinds of emails they want.

If you're lucky still, someone else will send a shit email and the teacher will make a point during the class to remind how to write a proper email.

I put "Dear name" everywhere, but if it's not an extremely formal setting, some teachers will be fine with a "Hello". If you're not sure of the receiver's gender, use their title (Dr. etc).

For the extension: sometimes teachers aren't allowed to give you an extension or are assholes who don't want to give you an extension. In that case, don't bother writing another email (again: don't beg. + it will make them dislike you which you don't want).

This works more in work settings, but I read once that it's good to say "I will be taking a day off" rather than "May I take a day off/is it possible to take a day off". Just say that it's going to happen.

Know your rights. I can't know them for you. Figure out what the teacher can and cannot do through legal documents on your school's website or whatever. Know your rights depending on your state or country.

If you have a bad memory and don't want to have to look up how to write an email everytime, open your notes app or your blocknote or any preferred place to take notes and write down the important. I'd advise to note common greetings, subjects, opening and closing lines. Same for your teachers, if you need to remember which one is a bitch and which one is chill, write their name down with a description.

#people who know how to write emails. I'm calling you. post email examples lmao #like if you have time to make a guide or to compile examples. do it #mumblings//#emails #how to write an email #chatgpt #(if you're a tech bro and you see this: do not bother I will block you)

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