#religous guilt

[goformoony]

religious guilt barty my love i can’t take this hc i hold it so special to my heart, but oh it’s so SAD.

[basil-enthusiast]

hello choreman nation i wrote a little character study/fic!

give her a read !!

[thgegooberguy]

@goo-goober We are not funny

REPENT OR BURN IN SCHLELL

THE FEARFUL, UNBELIEVING, ABOMINABLE SCHLURDERERS, SCHLOREMONGERS, SCHLORCERERS, SCHLDOLATERS, AND ALL SCHLAIRS

SHALL HAVE THEIR PART IN THE LAKE OF SCHLIRE.

[paletigers]

Repent

A late Christmas present for you guys!!! Christmas mass is here and Brahms has sinned a lot this year ;)

[silly-vent-blog]

I hate being a lesbian.

I hate how it grosses people out (grosses me out) whenever I come out. I hate how I can never go to heaven simply because of attraction to girls. I hate how I'll never be able to lead a normal religous life. I hate how I'll never understand what it's like to be attracted to a guy and what true "girlhood" is. I hate how I can never date somebody without the immense fear of being found out or going straight (gay) to hell. I hate how I'll always be missing out on what it would be like to like men and to date one. I hate how I can't not ship a popular straight ship without people saying that I'm "a typical LGBTV person." I hate how I'll never feel comfortable in my own skin. I hate how there's guys who like me and we're such good friends and are interested in the same things as me plus we're basically soul mates but I can't be fucking attracted to them for some reason. I hate how my friends and girls my age can talk about guys and I'll just never get it or fit in. I hate how I'll never be able to speak about this to somebody because they'll just either go on about "LGBT propaganda plaguing youth" or how "Religion is cult-like and should be banned" and that I should just stop believing in my faith when no?? I literally can't?? I hate how this attraction is apparently a "test from god" to see if I can stay believing in him but oh my god it hurts, it really fucking hurts. I hate how my family would be disgusted with me and "not talk to me" or "allow my cousins near me" or how my father would "be disgusted and beat the living crap out of me." I hate this so much, why couldn't I just be straight?

[angelspearlheart]

Jesus can always reject his father But he cannot escape his mother's blood He'll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers But he'll never escape what he's made up of

[coca-colas-truck-driver]

love religous guilt sam but give me dean praying to gods he doesnt believe in while his little brother sleeps in the bed beside his and im instantly listening. like just the mere idea of dean at fourteen with the samulet clutched between his palms that started to sweat tens of minutes ago, the horns digging into the not yet calloused skin as he stares at the nightstand between their beds. hes on his knees, because from here the vantage is too low to see sam sprawled out underneath his stained comforter from goodwill, and he prays. prays that when he wakes up, that the next morning he wont need to pray to not look at his little brother with more interest than hes ever had for any girl in any of the hundreds of towns they’ve occupied, hopes in the next town he doesnt have desires that only get worse day by day, and prays that his father comes home early so he isnt as tempted by the boy hes supposed to love and protect.

its pointless, he knows it as the scratchy carpet itches under his knees and his back starts to ache from being hunched over the foot of his bed, and he’s known it since the first time he did it and still felt the piercing pricks of attraction the next morning when he’d watched milk drip out of the corner of sam’s mouth as he ate his cereal, but its a distraction from his vulnerable little brother whose just trying to sleep.

[gh0st-m00ns]

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ I believed in my father as much as I believed God would keep me safe from harm

[oatoast]

Har har guess who has a nsfw account now on twt. @ Burnt0ats please have age in bio

Ermmm consider giving it a follow if u like seeing FIDDLEFORD FIDDLE FORD.

U will also see my dumb rambles probably.

[justanotherfeminist20]

Eddie and Signs

Eddie relies on signs before he makes romantic decisions we see this with he's decision to try again with Shannon (her thinking she was pregnant) and with Marisol (bumping into her at the hardware store). Eddie has never actively made the decision to get into a relationship he looks for an outside source to tell him what to do or what he thinks society would tell him what to do because deep down underneath his upbringing and catholic guilt he knows that these relationships do not feel natural. With Buck he never relied on that it was natural how he fit into his and Chris's life, the fact that so soon after Shannon died he said that there was no one else in this world he trusted with his soon more than Buck. There was no need to look outside himself to tell him that Buck was the right addition to his life and I cannot wait for this season to let us see Eddie unpacking all of that guilt and upbringing and for him to see that all he needed and wanted he already has/had with Buck.

[celestial-ringleader]

“. . .I still feel like I’ve got a circus tent on my back. . .this is like a ballgown made of kevlar!”

I’ve been thinking way too much about Dick as Batman............ @ronnyraygun

[chuubian]

Guilt

Tags Kouyou x fem reader, nsfw mdni, internalized homophobia, religious guilt, angst, I’m projecting

Summary You and Kouyou have been seeing each other for a few months, but the fear of going to hell is pervasive and daunting.

A/N This is kind of based off my own personal experiences and struggles with religious guilt so if its not accurate to you, sorry.

A loud ringing sound resonated through the room, ripping you out of the pleasant repose you had been in. Your eyes flickered over to the source of the sound. A bright light cut through the heavy darkness, drawing your eyes to it. Shuffling out of the warm, comfortable sheets and grabbing hold of your phone, your eyebrows pinch together- the fluorescent screen was blinding. There was only one notification.

Come over. I miss you.

Your stomach sinks. The darkness felt like it was pushing in, invading every part of you. A snake was coiled around you, squeezing and crushing your lungs, wringing you dry- while it was distracting you from the pain with empty promises and illusions of a happy life. You knew what this was. It was the devil. Seducing you. Whispering sweetly in your ear, showing you how good things could be if you just went. This was a test from god. To see if you were a true follower. If you had the willpower to be better. Regrettably, you were not strong enough to resist temptation.

Throwing the soft, warm bed sheets off, you step into the cold biting air. The tile under your feet is freezing, seizing your muscles, making you regret your decision for a split second. But your mind's made up, there is no changing it anymore. As you get ready, you think about what she would act like. Would she notice that you wore her favorite perfume? Or that you put on the new dress she bought you? She only wants one thing, but that doesn't mean you can't hope for more.

Knocking on her door, you hug your coat closer. Everyone in the area is asleep, but that doesn't mean you can't be cautious. If anyone sees you here, dressed the way that you are… you don't know if you could ever live it down. The door squeaks open, revealing Kouyou in her nightgown and robe. Your heartbeat speeds up. She’s beautiful. You try to forget about the guilt building up inside you, pushing it down to the back recesses of your mind- focusing on the small moments with her that are dear to you.

“Hi..”

“Hey, come in. Quickly, before anyone sees.”

She steps to the side, letting you in. As you step through the threshold, the powdery, pomegranate scent emanating off of her hits you. It's hypnotizing, quelling your worries and making your mind go fuzzy. You can't even remember why you dreaded coming here. Why would you ever do that? She's so great, so sweet to you. Your vision blurs around the edges, like you're watching from behind a screen. It's hard to think about anything other than her scent, or how much you need her. She's caught you in a trance, bewitching you, using your weaknesses against you. She's satan in an enchanting body.

“Sit down. Do you want some wine?”

She gently puts her hand on your shoulder, nudging you towards the living room. You can't even feel her touch through the coat but your skin burns. You nod, not saying a word. You probably couldn't even make out a full sentence if you tried. She hums softly, acknowledging your answer before walking to the kitchen, letting you settle in. You take off your coat, shivering from the sudden rush of cool air, hanging it up on the coat hanger. Your body sinks into the sofa. It molds to your figure, accepting easily- without complaint or argument.

Kouyou steps back into the room, hips swaying, with two glasses of red wine in her hands. When she sits down, it's far too close. Her knees touch yours, sending a pleasant tingle up your legs and down your spine. She extends her arm, handing you a glass- it feels sacred, but if anything, it's ungodly. It's giving into temptation, forsaking what you know is right, and letting the devil take control. You take it. Lifting the glass to your lips and letting the red liquid drip down your throat.

The bitter taste of wine lingers in your mouth, meanwhile a sweet warmth blossoms in your chest and up your neck. She leans closer and your stomach gets a weird fluttering sensation from what you suspect isn't the alcohol's fault.

“You look lovely.”

Her hand rests on your arm, cooling your burning skin. Then slowly it travels down to your knee, rubbing back and forth in soothing motions. Your hands were trembling, you had done this so many times before but it never got easier.

“You're wearing the dress I got you?”

You nod, bringing the glass back up to your lips and downing the whole thing. Your throat burned, it was hard to form words. She was too close.

“Do you like it?”

She hums, sipping her wine. It wets her lips, making them shiny and soft and so… delectable. A flush settles high over her cheekbones and chest, painting her skin a pretty pink that matches her nightgown. She scoots closer, thigh pressed against yours, shoulder to shoulder.

“It's the best purchase I've ever made.”

Kouyou leans in, breath brushing over your shoulder and neck. Your heart is pounding so hard you're sure she can hear it. A fuzziness envelops your mind, it's difficult to think as clearly as before. You can't remember why you felt so guilty before coming here. The Kouyou in front of you looks hazy and…. so tempting.

“You smell so good.”

She leans in, nosing at the spot under your jaw. Kouyou’s hands start rubbing up and down your thighs, slowly pushing the fabric of your dress up- little by little. It makes you gasp as a fire blooms in your belly. You can feel her smiling at the noise, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. Her hands come up to grab your hips, pulling you onto her lap.

“You got all dolled up for me huh? So cute.”

It was embarrassing how easily she could manipulate your body. She knew all the sensitive spots and she didn't hesitate to abuse them, kissing the little spot behind your ear, running her hands down your spine and over your lower tummy. Your body was tense, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of sensation. Your hands curled in the fabric of her robe, turning to try and capture her lips with yours. She chuckled, mocking and cruel.

“Not yet.”

Kouyou dragged her teeth down your neck and shoulder, sending tingles down your entire body. You whine, back arching and leaning into her relentless touch.

“Why..?”

She didn't answer. You could feel your mind starting to go numb, all coherent thoughts melting away- focusing only on Kouyou and the pleasure she made you feel. She takes hold of your hips, shifting your position until your back is pressed against the soft couch. Slowly, her lips traveled down to your chest, leaving behind a trail of messy red lipstick on your skin. Branding you. No matter what happened, you both knew no one else could have you the way she does. No one else makes you feel like this.

She traces her fingers up your thighs, pushing up the silk fabric. Teasingly, her hand massages the skin near your groin, fingers outlining the seam of your underwear.

“Please… hurry.”

She smirked sadistically, enjoying your impatient whimpers- slowing down instead of doing what you asked so nicely.

"Why should i? I'm quite enjoying this."

An embarrassing sob leaves your mouth. The tension is killing you- pressing down on your lungs, squeezing all the air out, and leaving you a heaving mess.

"Just... -hic- please..."

Her hands were heaven sent. it's inhumane for her to stop now. You're holding back tremors, hands traveling down her arms, guiding her hands to where you needed them most.

"Oh... is this what you wanted?"

She drags a finger over your cloth covered pussy. It's not nearly enough but you can't help the loud whine that comes out of your throat.

“S-stop teasing.”

“Don't tell me what to do.”

Kouyou takes hold of your hands, guiding them to your sides.

“Keep them here. don't move.”

Her command ran through you, freezing your muscles in their current position.

“Good girl.”

She runs her hands down your body, leaving behind fire on your skin. Her nails bite into your hips, taking enjoyment in watching you struggle and whimper. The long nails leave small indents in your flesh- yet another reminder of her claim over you.

As Kouyous hands rub over your lower tummy, her fingers play with the hem of your underwear- lifting it slightly and letting it snap back against your skin. The sting is delicious. your nerves sing, filling your brain with a beautiful melody- numbing your mind. It makes you unable to think of anything but her. She takes hold of your underwear, ripping it off you impatiently.

“There we go. So much better.”

She grabs the back of your knees roughly, spreading your legs apart until they’re practically touching the couch.

“Hold them here.”

You scramble to follow her orders, hands holding your knees open.

“So good for me.”

Her voice is raspy, clearly affected by the sight of you spread out in front of her like a feast. Her pupils are dilated and her breathing is faster than usual. a low growl vibrates in her throat- she's hungry. Hungry for you. Kouyou dives down, biting into your inner thigh. Your hips twitch, a guttural whine ripping itself from your throat.

“Ahh! You're s-so mean!”

She chuckles, drinking in your choked little noises. Her mouth is watering- she wants to devour you whole. Her tongue pokes out, lapping at your soaked pussy. You screw your eyes shut, head tilted back and exposing the column of your throat. A hiccuping moan leaves your mouth, jaw hanging open.

“Ngh.. K-Kouyou…”

Kouyou responds by burying her face deeper in your cunt, moaning at how you taste. She's abusing the power she has over you, sucking and rolling your clit with her tongue meanly. The slick sounds as the red haired woman goes harder and harder are disgusting.

“Fuck… you taste so good..”

She lifts her head to take in the sight of you- sweaty, chest heaving, thighs trembling. Her mouth is completely slick with your juices, shiny and wet. She licks her lips before sitting up. Running her fingers through your folds she gathers your juices on the tips of them. They glisten as she raises them up to her mouth, humming at the taste- like it's the most appetizing meal she's ever had the pleasure of savoring.

Her hand comes back down to drag through your folds, stopping once she reaches your entrance. Gradually, she pushes two fingers in without much resistance- your cunt is more than wet enough to take her. A mixture of your juices and her saliva is dripping down your pussy and onto her expensive couch. Your stomach clenches as her fingers find the sweet little spot inside yours walls.

"Oh... p-please..."

Your delightful moans just make her smirk evilly, digging her fingers into your sweet spot and thrusting harder. She leans down to lap at your clit at the same time.

"Doing so good for me... such a good girl."

Your thighs are tensing, hips twitching, mind going fuzzy and numb. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire. It's far too much and too little at the same time. your body shudders- unsure if it wants to pull away or pull her closer.

"Kou... it's t-too much...!"

She doesn't give you a second of rest, hand coming up to pull your hips closer, inserting another finger, scissoring them. Your eyelids are difficult to hold open anymore, fluttering shut as a violent shock of tremors travels up your spine. It's impossible to think or breathe as your body is overwhelmed from Kouyou’s actions.

"Don't worry. You can take it, can’t you? Just for me?"

When she puts it like that it sounds so easy. You force your body to relax- hands clenching in the soft sofa cushions, legs falling open. You would do anything for her. She's so good to you. Always. Kouyou smiles, tightening her hold on your thigh. It's sure to form bruises later. A reminder of what you did. Another remembrance of all you do wrong.

“Mmngh… please… Kou…”

A knot forms in your lower stomach. Tense and ready to snap at any moment. Your back is arching, taut with the tension building inside you. Your mind is becoming more and more muddled, unable to form proper sentences or think beyond what is in front of you. Kouyou slurps and laps at your clit eagerly, never once daring to slow down. Her fingers are working magic inside of you, pressing against your spot, thrusting in and out at a rhythmic pace that she knows you love. No one knows your body like she does.

“Please…p-please… ‘m so c-close…”

When you almost think it's too much- when tears are running down your cheeks, your hips twitching and bucking uncontrollably, and your nails threaten to rip open the fabric of the couch- the coil snaps. A sense of relief and overwhelming pleasure washes over you. The sounds you make are inhuman, comparable to the screech of a banshee.

“Hah… oh -hic- god…!”

Your walls tighten around her fingers, hips pressing down trying to suck them in more. She makes sure to help you through it, gently nudging your sweet spot as you're pushed over the edge.

Once your muscles relax, practically melting into the couch, she slowly pulls her fingers out- tongue licking up everything. She sits between your legs, spreading you open further and leans down to nuzzle your throat.

“So pretty for me… such a good girl.”

Kouyou presses kisses along the exposed column of your neck, biting down on your soft throat. Your body tenses, a high whine pushed out of your lungs.

“Please… I want to…”

You can't even finish your sentence. Panting softly you lean up to press your lips against hers. They're so soft. You can taste yourself on her tongue. It's disgusting and dirty but you can't stop. She wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you closer, until your entire body is pressed against hers.Its like shes sucking out the air from your lungs. Draining you of everything. Your life. Your virtue.

Kouyou starts to drag the hem of your dress up, pushing it over your hips, running her hands over your boobs, and finally removing the fabric completely from your body. Leaving you exposed and vulnerable. Her eyes rake over your body, taking in the sight of you naked. She's had her fill already but she wants more.

You're still catching your breath. Panting through your words.

"Sit on my face... please."

She smiles.

"Are you sure?"

You nod. You were never more sure of anything in your entire life. This is what you were meant to do. It felt like your life's purpose was to be under her. Taking in her scent and drinking in all of her. Kouyou pushes you back down, not bothering to take off the nightgown- she wasn't even wearing underwear. She straddles your face, taunting you. She's just out of reach. Saliva pools in your mouth, hungry for her. Hungry for the familiar taste of her on your tastebuds.

After a few whines of impatience escape your throat, she finally lowers herself down. She finally gives you what you want.

When the flavor of her finally hits your tongue, you can't help the moan you let out. You're like a woman starved. You've been denying yourself this for far too long. The sharp, bitter taste sets your libido alight once again. There's nothing better than this.

Your hands grip onto her thighs, pulling her down against your face harder, the pressure of her weight on top of you is a welcoming one. Your nose pokes at her clit, tongue slipping between her folds and into her entrance.

"Fuck.."

Her voice is breathy and quiet. She's trying to hide how affected she is but it's not working. Her hips twitch against your face, wanting more. It's humid and difficult to get air into your lungs but that doesn't stop you. You can't stop.

Your jaw starts to ache. It was definitely going to be sore tomorrow. You dig your fingers into her hips, leaning your head up slightly to press against her more. It was hurting your neck but the woman in front of you was more important than potential future injuries.

Kouyou threaded her fingers through your hair, pulling, looking for any way to ground herself. She grinds her hips down hard, practically riding your tongue. Stomach tensing, choked whimpers escaping- you can tell she's close already.

It only made you doubled down, jaw working twice as hard, nosing at the sensitive little nub, tongue reaching deep inside her. Her juices were covering your entire chin. It was dirty and raw.

She was pushed over the edge with one last suck at her clit. Her thighs and hips were shaking, giving in and sitting on your face completely, stuttering thrusts on your tongue. She was suffocating you but it was a welcoming torture. If you died, this is how you wanted it to happen.

She keens lowly, jaw hanging wide open, eyes clenched shut. Kouyou was so beautiful like this. Sweaty and flushed. Her hair was messy and unkempt. It was a different side of her. One no one but you saw. She was usually so elegant and well put-together.

The fingers tangled in your locks loosen, shifting off you Kouyou, decides to sit on the other side of the sofa.

You leave her apartment soon after. Slipping in and out without anyone taking notice. They haven't even woken from their slumber yet.

On the quiet walk home alone, your eye wanders up to admire the brightness of the moon. She's all by herself. Lonely. What did she do to deserve that? Surely nothing could justify the isolation she was forced to deal with. As far as you could tell, all she did was shine- light the night sky. It was normal. Nothing about it seemed unnatural. Yet here she was, destined to a life of solitude.

Getting back to an empty apartment after hours of pure euphoria and intimacy with someone dear to you, was oppressive. The weight of all you'd done and all you allowed to happen was crushing. You felt the need to lie down. The burden you had been carrying in your chest was making your knees buckle under you, collapsing onto comforting sheets.

How you wish Kouyou was here to empty your mind again. You don't want to think or feel anything. If you couldn't think, your mind wouldn't be able to feel guilt for your actions. The Behavior you could easily have stopped yourself from performing. Why didn't you say no? This was all your fault. You should've known better than to fall for Satan's trap.

All you had been taught was that loving women was sinful. Wrong. But was it really evil to try and find love in the arms of a lover? How could that be? What was even so bad about it? That some arbitrary being decided to shame you for feeling a genuine connection. It sounded absurd. Maybe god isn't even real.

A sudden emptiness cultivated deep in your gut, a fogginess taking over your mind. How could you even think that?

"Please forgive me. I didn't mean it."

Your eyes were shut tight. Hoping and praying for forgiveness from someone who would never answer.

"It was just a stupid thought that crossed my mind. Please... I know you're real, I believe in your power."

You couldn't move. The fear was paralyzing. Was the devil so strong that you couldn't even be alone in your own thoughts? You never should've gone. You had invited Satan into your mind. Into your body. And now there was no going back.

Tears springed up in your eyes, breath hitching- a sense of desperation took over your body. Without thinking, your body moves on its own, crawling on the cold dirty floor, seeking the book on your bedside drawer by itself. This can't be. You can't be condemned to a life alone just because of this. Because of something so simple.

Looking through scripture desperately, you nearly tear the delicate pages. Every passage read just confirms your inevitable future in the lake of fire. When Armageddon comes- when god comes to take his children back- you will be left alone. Your hands tremble. The bible plunges to the ground.

You can't even gather the courage to pick it up, staring at it through blurry eyesight. Your worst fears were confirmed. How could you go on? You had already committed a great sin. You would never be whole again. Your body will forever be tainted. impure. Unholy.

“Why me?.. why.. why…WHY?!?”

Violent sobs erupted from your throat. It felt like your entire body was burning- It was only a small glimpse of what you would get in the afterlife. You deserved it.

Falling to your knees, you lean over the bed, begging for forgiveness.

"Please.. help me, i'll never do it again. I know I don't deserve it... I know I shouldn't have been so weak, but I need you!"

Your cries echoed through the room, amplifying your sounds of anguish. Her touches would never wash off you. Unlike the temporary marks she left on your skin, what you did was a permanent stain on your soul. It was unforgivable. You knew it was the devil tempting you but you gave in anyway. Despite everyone's warning. Giving up an eternity of happiness. All for short term gratification. For a relationship that was destined to fail.

[sunshinemakesmesleepy]

I feel like eldermorne as a whole just gets that much better, when you keep in mind that murph grew up in a devout catholic household.

Like mans was afraid to worship the fucking dice devil at the beginning of this fucking podcast. He REEKS of unprocessed catholic guilt. The entire concept of eldermorne as a whole is so parallel to the world at large that we live in, and basically the deconstruction of faith

Like i cannot imagine how cathartic the entire last chunk of the campaign must have felt to him, or even if any of this was intentional (i have a feeling it’s a mix of both) but even as someone who wasn’t really raised catholic, (but had parents who used to be catholic), re listening to eldermorne the second time is like healing some of the religious trauma I never even realized I had.

Anyways, I think all of this is hilarious in a fucked up way, while simultaneously being so sad and like deep.

[thewaterboyreturns]

just me and my complicated relationship with relgion

[isleofhoneysuckleandclover]

Considering writing for a ship that is canonically incestuous.

[alexxuun]

Ok, so I was thinking about a Trigun DnD AU and having some trouble deciding what class Wolfwood falls into?

He could be a cleric getting power from a “deity”(Eye of Michael) with a shakable faith, a paladin who involuntary got force into an oath bind from a Paladin Order (Eye of Michael), or a celestial warlock who formed a contract with a patron (again, Eye of Michael) to access their power. This all obviously can fit into his canon story pretty well so now I’m having trouble deciding.