#ive been forced into a role i didnt want bc i dont want to be like my adoptive dad but also

[celestial-ringleader]

“. . .I still feel like I’ve got a circus tent on my back. . .this is like a ballgown made of kevlar!”

I’ve been thinking way too much about Dick as Batman............ @ronnyraygun

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

*KICKS THE DOOR DOWN* WWWAIT FREYA I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ON FANDOMS VIEW OF THIS SHIP I NEED TO KNOW UR OPINION. HOMUMIKU???

WKSHJSHJDBJHAHAHAH HIIIII, GRACE!!!! ❤️💕💞💝💗💖💘💓💕💞💖💞💘

Homumiko (HUGE spoilers for DGS after the bingo sheet):

I have been waiting to get into this ship properly, because I have THOUGHTS and I need to be forced to get them out coherently.

Let's get into the basic ship itself. Honestly? No comment. I think hmmk cheats a bit by relying on the literal decades people have spent shipping Holmes and Watson together, and I doubt that they would be half as popular without this history; but, as someone who has never had strong feelings about HolmesWatson either way, I don't have that bias! Even if we're just going off of DGS and looking at how they complement and trust each other, and are obviously more comfortable around one another than most other people, I don't really have a strong opinion on them. I do think they're close, but whether that bond is platonic, romantic, sexual or some mix of the two is just not something I particularly care about. You know who I do care about, though?

Susato-san.

OKAY, SIT DOWN, EVERYONE BECAUSE THE SHIP BINGO PART OF THIS IS OVER, AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE PARTS OF HMMK I DO CARE ABOUT AND WHY THAT ACTUALLY HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH THEM AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HER.

Let's get this out of the way first. Based on my very modern sensibilities, I take a rather harsh stance on Mikotoba's parenting.

Do I think he loves his daughter? Sure. But which parts of his daughter? Because it's very easy to love a child who is always obedient, elegant and the literal embodiment of idealised Japanese womanhood without knowing or truly even looking at her. I think Susato made it easy for him to love her, because she believed she had to earn it. Her father left when she was born, consumed by grief over her mother's death -- her mother, whom she killed. I know the game tries to justify this by saying it was Jigoku who dragged him away (and I do think him leaving was good for him, because I doubt he would have been a good father even if he'd stayed due to his grief), but the point is that he still left. For six years. And when he returned, he didn't even return because of her (whether she knew that from the moment she met him or not is debatable, but I think, at least on a subconscious level, she knew. And, of course, it's also debatable whether he could have returned sooner because of his commitment as a transfer student, but the Mikotobas are a powerful family, and, if Soseki could return before his period of learning was fully up, I think he would have been able to pull strings to return home if he wanted to).

This falls under speculation, so I understand not agreeing with it, but I don't think Mikotoba ever properly spoke to Susato when she was a child, especially not about what he did in England. I believe that a part of the reason why Susato started reading the Sherlock Holmes stories to begin with was because they featured a doctor in London, like her father had been, and she wanted to feel closer to him through those stories. And it probably worked! Her father probably did start engaging with her more after after she picked them up, because it was an easy way to connect with her. That's why I believe she was so insistent on the existence of John H. Watson, as a doctor, when she met Iris and learnt the truth.

There's this distance between Susato and her father which glimpse in moments in the game, like how he remarks on her lack of composure in court (suggesting that he isn't used to seeing her yamato nadeshiko mask slip), how he less requests her trust and more orders or expects it forthright, and how he seems reluctant to face the parts of her that inconvenience him (like how he asks her to play the koto when he isn't home and how, when faced by her real anger, he looks to Holmes to explain the situation rather than actually attempt to himself).

HOWEVER, in the setting of the game (Meiji-era Japan), I will concede that Mikotoba is a fantastic father. He may not have been very present in her life growing up, but men largely weren't expected to be. Their jobs were to provide for their children, not nurture them. And Mikotoba went well beyond his duty in that regard. Add to that the fact that he had her properly educated, ensured she knew how to defend herself, and allowed her to pursue her studies overseas at a level that was on par with any man, and you can see that he's really quite a great father; which is why I don't think he sees his absence as a flaw or even notices he was absent. Susato, though, does.

Now, Susato is obviously a product of her time, too, so I believe she'd be insulted if anyone was to suggest that her father or childhood was lacking in some way. That being said, I do believe she is aware of the distance between them in a way he is not. I think her affection for him is founded on a sense of duty and filial piety rather than pure love (although, obviously, she does love him), and, as she grew older, she stopped vying for his affection; hence why she's obsessed with the Great Detective more so than anyone else when we meet her. I also think that this distance contributed to her becoming so attached to Kazuma, in spite of the fact that he kept her at arm's length, too; he may not have allowed her very close, but he was always there, and he saw her for who she truly was. When she leaves at the end of the first game, Susato is not so much anxious that her father is ill as she is shaken -- she seems more upset that she's leaving her Baker Street family rather than that her actual father might be dying, and I think that's because she knows how to live without him. This distance between them, I believe, becomes all the more apparent to her when she goes to London and sees the deep bond held between Iris and Holmes.

And, speaking of, you know who else I think is aware of the distance between them and the part he played in creating that distance? The Great Detective himself, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

See, I think Holmes has always known about Susato. I'm quite sure that, from the moment they met, he knew that Mikotoba was running away from something and that he had left an infant daughter back home. He just didn't care.

We don't know what Holmes was like when he was younger, but I believe he was a lot closer to how he appears in a lot of modern adaptations and how Watson describes him in some of the Sherlock Holmes stories: the 'cold, calculating computer' character. I don't think it's a stretch to think that Holmes viewed marriage and children as mere distractions and interferences to the mind; and Mikotoba was, presumably, his first real friend. He wasn't going to let something pesky like a baby back home detract from his friend's obviously sterling character and brain! After all, it's a lot easier to ignore this nebulous, abstract entity when you simply consider its existence, and thus its abandonment, unimportant. It's a lot easier when you don't know what it's like to be a father yourself. It's a lot easier when you don't know her.

Here's the thing: I believe Holmes's image of and relation to Mikotoba began changing from the time he started raising Iris. Suddenly, that inconsequential baby seemed to bear quite a bit of consequence, actually. But it was still all right to keep dismissing her, because maybe Mikotoba's baby wasn't special the way Iris was. Maybe she was a brat or an idiot, and really not worth much time at all! Maybe she could've lived without him and been perfectly fine, regardless...? As time went on, I believe the excuses he made for Mikotoba's decision all those years ago became increasingly flimsy, but he was still able to hold onto them because The Daughter was still an indistinct figure in his mind. She wasn't quite real.

That is, until he met her.

In the game, Holmes tends to keep a certain width between himself and Susato. He very rarely initiates conversation with her the way he does Ryuunosuke, and from a Doylist (ha) perspective, this is obviously because Ryuunosuke is... the main character. Looking at it from a narrative perspective, though, I think he was afraid of hurting more than he already has and must.

Holmes is a very resolute man. He sticks by his decisions regardless of what anyone else thinks, so I don't think he ever regretted what he did. However, I do think he felt guilty. Certainly, he didn't quite take her father away from her, but he did play a role in keeping him from her for so long. I think there was a part of him that consciously guided Mikotoba away from thinking about Japan while they lived together, because, well... he didn't want him to leave.

There's an interesting layer to the separation that Holmes creates with Susato, because, beyond the distance he maintains between her and himself, he also keeps her identity separate from her father's. Contrary to how he refers to Ryuunosuke by his last name, Holmes only ever calls Susato "Miss Susato" or "my dear (madame)", and never "Miss Mikotoba". I view this is his way of, perhaps subconsciously, dividing from that little girl he once decided did not matter. And it's interesting because, to an extent, he tries to do with her and Kazuma, too.

In the SS Burya case, despite meeting Susato first and seeing how affected she is by Kazuma's "death", Holmes largely ignores her in favour of focusing on Ryuunosuke and his bond with Kazuma. He calls Kazuma Ryuunosuke's "dear companion" and pretty much only interacts with Susato when he has little other choice... until he sees her cry.

See, I believe that when Holmes found out Susato was going to England and was about to be wrapped up in the whole messy affair, he was fully committed to Not Giving a Damn about Her. Sure, he would let her and Kazuma live with him, but by no means was he going to allow himself to grow attached to her because, again, he values his relationship and history with Mikotoba too much for it to get complicated in this way. Susato's relative composure throughout the case helps him hold on to this resolution; however, when he catches that final conversation between her and Ryuunosuke in the cabin, he is finally forced to see and acknowledge the amount of pain she is truly in. It forces him to at last face the fact that he can't avoid or fake aloofness around her any longer, because she is not some nebulous, distant entity he can continue to ignore. She is an actual girl with a fiercely strong spirit, a brilliant mind and real, human emotions. A girl whom he's hurt twice-over now and must continue hurting until all his lies finally come to light.

When he makes that decision to enter the cabin and console her the only way he knows how, he throws away any hope he had of feeling anything but apathy towards her. In truth, he probably didn't have much hope of that to begin with, because at his core, Sherlock Holmes is a good man, and he cares.

He cares for her, too, even though he may have no right to. How could he not, when she loves him so openly, trusts him so readily, saves his life? How could he not, when she comes to him in the middle of the night with a secret she can't tell anyone else because his judgement is the only one she wholly trusts and believes in? How could he not, when she refuses to accept he lied despite the living, breathing evidence he did until he admits it himself? How could he not, when after everything he has done, she still looks at him the way she always has and says that she's proud that her father is the assistant of "the Great Detective"?

How could anyone not? How could Mikotoba not... love her the second he laid eyes on her?

And of course this doesn't shatter his love for Mikotoba -- he has no right to these feelings in the first place: no matter how indignant or guilty he may feel, it doesn't change the fact that he has been lying to and manipulating her the entire time they've known one another. He can't even bring himself to tell her that he's been lying; he has to go through Ryuunosuke instead, because, even after all this time, he still can't face the woman whom he's done nothing but cause pain for from the moment she was born. When he can't even give her that ounce of respect, who is he to judge Mikotoba?

So he doesn't. Till the end of the game, he keeps Susato at a distance and pretends that everything between him and Mikotoba is as it was from the start. But, inside, I think he knows it isn't. Because I think Holmes can see that Mikotoba doesn't feel half as guilty about what they've done as he does, and that he doesn't view the fact that he left Susato 16 years ago as a real problem. And while he doesn't judge Mikotoba for that, I don't think he can look past it anymore. That final investigation and dance of deduction, to me, is less an assurance that they are still the same partners they were before, and more a final farewell to their old, uncomplicated bond -- the one that did exist before they grew to love other people and understand what love truly meant to both of them.

Going back to the ship itself, I think shipping them pre-DGS works perfectly well. They both had a huge impact on each other's life and changed one another for the better; Holmes by drawing Mikotoba out from his grief, and Mikotoba by pulling Holmes from his life of solitude and loneliness. They needed each other, but it is also because of these reasons that I think there was an issue of codependency between them, hence the semi-horrible for each other box I gave them. With Mikotoba, it's clear cut. Holmes helped him run away from his very real issues at home and allowed him to live like he was a bachelor with zero familial obligations again. With Holmes, it gets a bit more foggy, but I believe that Mikotoba basically allowed him to live believing he was the only person Holmes would ever truly connect with and properly befriend. Holmes is obviously his own person and whatnot, but I do think there was a bit of unhealthy attachment there on his end if not both.

During DGS and post-DGS is where their ship gets more complicated for me, because, while Susato is still very much there at the beginning of their relationship, her role in their lives and what they did to her becomes impossible to ignore once she and Holmes actually meet. I don't believe that they can just pick up from where they left off because there is now (imo) a fundamental disagreement in how they view their actions and how it affected her. So, even if they do go back to being lovers or whatever afterwards, I feel that there should be this chasm or weight between them that they simply don't talk about or acknowledge in any way. Because I don't think they'd discuss it. Holmes because it isn't his place, Mikotoba because he sees it as a non-issue (maybe he doesnt even notice this distance), and both because sweeping unpleasantness under the rug is so ingrained into their cultures.

My main issue with the way this ship is often portrayed post-DGS (why they got a 50-50 on the I would erase them from existence box) is that it ignores what happened with Susato. The few times I've seen the concern that she might have an issue with their relationship even brought up in hmmk works is always because they're gay. Which, like!! Fair!!! It's the 1800s, I get it, but!!!! You're ignoring the actual, very big issue for why she might be hurt and that's because DGS ends with her finding out that three of the men she's closest to have been lying and using her for their own means her entire life!!!!!!!! And she just has to take it!!!!!!!

Which brings me to the second most popular interpretation of this ship which doesn't just put Iris and Susato in a box somewhere unseen, and that's the one where all four of them are a peaceful happy family with 0 issues! And this one bothers me because it seems like it's taking what Susato said at the end of the reveal as what she 100% sincerely meant down to her core, rather than something she had to say because (1) it is her duty to honour her father no matter what, and (2) because Iris was there. When she learns the entire truth, I don't think Susato knows what she truly thinks or feels about any of it; but she sees Iris, and she sees this little girl who was abandoned through her circumstances as a baby, named after her mother, and forced to grow up much sooner than she should have been, and she sees a girl who is more her sister than anyone else. So she does what she always has and tucks away her own emotions so she might tend to someone else's. She has been the perfect daughter her whole life; she can be the perfect sister.

Even if you don't subscribe to the, admittedly, harsh view of Mikotoba's parenting that I do, I don't see how you can get away from the fact that they still lied to her for a significant portion of time. Especially from Holmes, whom she trusted and believed in more than anyone else! In the face of his shoddy deductions, she still held onto her unwavering belief that he was a genius and a good man, and then it comes out that he's just been lying to her from the first day he met her. I just can't extract the ship from their treatment of Susato, so when I say that I would erase the ship from existence, it's mainly about these two bits. As with Asoryuu, the primary reason why I don't ship them personally is because I can't do that to her.

And, obviously, it's just shipping and fun and games, and everyone should feel free to ship whoever in whatever way they want bUT IN A SPECIAL WORLD MADE PERFECTLY FOR ME. iris would be perfectly oblivious, and susato would have tossed both holmes and mikotoba into the thames and left them to figure it out. In a world that must still vaguely make sense with the canon of the game, though, then Holmes would have given Mikotoba the boot and taken the kids; because he may be a coward, but at least I can see that he knows he fucked up, and he allows Susato to set the terms of their relationship, just like he does Iris.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for how long, convoluted and only tangentially-related to the ask this is, but thank you so much for it, Grace!!!! I don't think I quite got down what I meant precisely, but it's the closest to coherency I've ever gotten so. Thank you 💖💕💗💓💕💘💕

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[narwhalandchill]

anyway tho like. now that ive played the 1.2 story and sat on it a bit id say my overall thoughts are def mixed. i enjoyed a lot of it but theres some things that sorta just stick out or dont work and the pacing definitely worked against the story

(just a long rant/ramble upcoming its not coherent at all lol)

one thing that rly rubbed me the wrong way was like. while overall this story rly sold fu xuan as a character to me (i was a huge fan of her presence overall) the dan shu thing just felt? wrong? and like to be clear it wasnt just fu xuan the scenes writing was off in general but her role in being the one countering dan shus points just made her p central to the problem.

but like my issue is that dan shu is previously established as having very understandable reasons behind her resentment of lan that made her compelling as twist villain imo. Yet that resolve was nowhere in the scene in her rebuttal of the xianzhous ways?? when i think that shouldve been The moment of her calling out the xianzhou and actually challenging fu xuan properly. it wouldve been an even better opportunity to expand upon how fu xuan responds to being confronted with the xianzhous flaws and hypocrisy and problems. but somehow yassified dan shu really just. had a generic villain speech and thats it. the callback to their heritage as former followers of abundance was... fine? but like it wasnt that impactful. and fu xuan essentially calling her nothing but a power hungry villain when thats very much Not what dan shus motivation boils down to sucks and now players who didnt read her diary or play/pay attention to her side quest will think of her as just a generic bad guy and not a very tragic complex figure of her own

then the like. underutilization of blade was just like. ok what was the point. it IS funny to reference the tuxedo mask meme and how he skewers his ex yet immediately gangs up with him against yanqing and all but honestly he shouldve gotten to be more feral and present than he did like its just meh. ig its kafka keeping him from messing up elios script but cmon. i want more of him. yanqing also got done so dirty in that scene like. he shouldve gotten some more screentime and focus even if his job was p much to just get bodied. kid just watched jing yuan make deals with criminals no way he isnt affected by it

in general i was p shocked how inexistent the high cloud quintet was from the story. but ig w how rushed the pacing was for dan hengs backstory reveals at times already ig its better left for later (hopefully). i just rly hope this means that the topic get its time to shine properly in the future. esp since im p sure they never even named any of dan fengs crimes outright which is a curious choice.

jing yuan got a rly solid characterization and i definitely enjoyed it!!! even if im a little miffed at how they didnt give dan heng enough breathing room to come to terms with the emotional impact of facing his past and memories thanks to the plot moving forward so fast and he was kinda the one leading that. but he was still great - i liked the scheming side to him and the arguably pretty ruthless way he leveraged dan hengs exile status to force his hand to cooperate a lot. his reasoning makes sense obvi but its still a very brutal and utilitarian approach and i like that energy for his character. his duty is to the luofu above all else even if thats far from all he is about. overall his and dan hengs interactions including dan heng very much emphasizing his desire to be seen as separate from dan feng were a highlight for sure. and jing yuans final showdown moment against phantylia slapped obviously

and then w dan heng im torn between like. really loving all the good stuff we got with the insane cutscenes and the vidyadhara echoes and then wishing that he got just that little bit more for his own realizations and inner conflict. and the part about not properly featuring blade also hurt his story too imo bc the anticlimactic nature of the scene where blade confronts him and forces the transformation and how he n kafka just... leave rly kinda flattens the impact of the reveal moment esp since thats when jing yuan just all but openly says ok time for the plot. but they still did a great job selling DHIL and i think im overall a fan of how they seem to have handled the dan feng vs dan heng thing (and its roughly what i was expecting). dan feng is dead but its never just that simple either. i hope theyll be exploring the exact nature of dan fengs sins and the sedition in the future

im so mad i spoiled myself the tingyun thing bc jfc the neck snap wouldve hit So hard if the reveal itself was also a complete surprise. and its sth that was genuinely well built up like i remember thinking her 1.0 dialogue was kinda sus but wouldve never imagined the actual truth. dont do leaks folks sometimes this happens and it sucks :/ but i have to say phantylia herself was kinda? underwhelming. i liked when she picked up jing yuan like a little bug she wanted to squish and the boss fight was cool but to be fair. this was like 50% bc of how bad the sound mixing was for all of her dialogue that overlapped w in game battle. she rly lacks the necessary menace and imposing energy when u can barely even make out what shes saying 😭 her voice shouldve been as loud and large as her..... Presence. jing yuan carried the boss fight and the final cutscene but man the fade to black rly didnt do the abrupt ending any favors like we just teleport to exalted sanctum and thats it???? maybe jing yuan dies maybe not!!!

overall my prime issue is p much just how like. it feels like they shoved 3-4 mini arcs worth of stuff into one speedrun when all of them deserved more focus and exploration and the pacing rly got rough at times. it wasnt like inazuma level bad but it does get me wondering if hoyos just bad at doing these big conclusions to prior build up and holding the story threads tightly together until the end.

this comes off as super negative helpp but like. by no means did i hate all of it so dont take it the wrong way lmao. its more that there was good stuff there but also wasted potential. for the most part i was having a blast but to be fair that was 40% just playing blade ridiculously underleveled through it all. i only got him to lvl 80 for the boss fight

[astronautbatman]

human target #1-6 thoughts

okay this is not getting read by anyone and this came out like 2 years ago but i really wanted to get some thoughts down.

first of all! the JLI timeline in this is somewhat confusing. ted and booster seem like theyre in their in the forties/maybe fifties for ted which seems about right, but tora and guy seem like theyre in their twenties/mid thirties at the latest? the age range isnt an issue by itself bc obviously the characters couldnt have all been the same age in JLI. but the way they talk about their days on the team together, it sounds like it happened a good few years ago so is the implication that tora was in her teens when this was happening? so then why does she look pretty much the same in the photos/flashbacks while ted especially looks a lot younger? and also they do mention her and fire being on multiple other superhero teams before they join the JLI like in the original run so how old was she supposed to be then ???

i feel like this issue is mostly because they wanted tora to be like this younger more innocent (or is she) woman to christopher guests middle-aged cynical man which is obviously a staple pairing in noir writing. but like … aside from the kindof weirdness that dynamic always brings, in this case it also confuses the story a bit. and it’s definitely a departure from the orignal JLI where her and bea are probably late twenties at the youngest when they join the JLI.

which brings me to one of the fundamental issues ive seen people have with this: tora’s character. she doesn’t really fit the femme fatale character but tom king keeps trying to force her into that role for the sake of the crime noir genre he’s going for and it just isn't working for me. more than (almost) anyone else she reads like a very different character than the one established in justice league international. instead of being generally quite open and honest, its implied shes trying to manipulate christopher guest with her feminine wiles (?) or something. which just seems like an odd fit for her character.

the only characterisation that i found more egregious was guy gardner (rip). it genuinely does feel like tom king had heard secondhand abt guys character, decided he was a bad guy (no pun intended) and wrote him to be that in this story. calling tora a bitch repeatedly, basically stalking her and christopher guest, overall just acting abusively towards her. i hate it! who let tom king near this man! never in my life have i seen such character assassination before. i never want to see the words ‘my little girl’ written on a page again.

i also did not really care for the way tom king wrote ted. his character in this can be simplified to just eccentric™️ businessman who talks too much. and is also the blue beetle. its not awful but i feel like it really misses what makes ted a fun character to read. like if you’re going to have so much text on each panel covering up greg smallwoods beautiful art then at least have him make a few jokes? i was also gonna talk about booster gold in this but its gotten wayyy too long so i’ll just say he feels like a bit of a caricature and he is saved only by greg smallwood’s ability to draw facial expressions.

saying all this, i actually have been enjoying this story. i dont understand why tom king didnt just make up a new superhero team à la watchmen and have the story been about them instead of using pre-existing characters whose personalities dont fit the genre. as a fan of raymond chandler’s books i actually think tom kings done a good job of blending the more serious noir influences with the superhero setting whilst still maintaining a consistent tone throughout. and the pacing is really good! it somehow manages to feel like a slow burn whilst having a lot happen over a few days. so its annoying that this story feels a little wasted on the justice league characters and vice versa.

anyways

i’m still kind of torn on this story and if i like it or not. i’m probably going to keep reading bc i’m invested now so if i do i might make a second post for issues #7-12. and greg smallwood’s art deserves its own post with examples so i might do that too when i’m finished with this.

[gratuiciel]

(to the tune of running up that hill) you wanna hear about the fics im writing

u dont have to btw, especially if u dont know the fandoms im talking about (dq11 and tokrev) bc this will mostly sound like a bunch of nonsense if u dont

content warning for whump writing and descriptions of violence/injuries/captivity

first one is gonna be jasper//hendrik in a setting where the luminary doesnt show up on time at the last bastion and so hendrik has to surrender himself to save the people living there (bc he Knows they'll keep fighting if he asks them, and he Knows the whole siege is kind of his fault since jasper is doing this specifically to prove his military superiority over him). definitely gonna be whump in there. jasper keeps him captive in his sky fortress (hendrik cant exactly fly away) and mostly fucks with his mind, but then mordegon decides thats not fun enough and takes matters into his own hands (jasper eventually defects to the luminary while hendrik gets turned into a monster. role reversal babey!)

second one is a gen fic in which hendrik manages to go back to the past (eleven passed on his power during the final battle bc he was too injured to heal), so he's like okay ive got this im gonna fix everything also im literally proficient in both combat and magic thanks to the luminary's power so there is nothing i cant do... except that when he has to choose the moment where he wants to return he kind of panics bc there are so many things to fix, and the confusion as he formulates his wish causes him to return just a few weeks before the events of the game, except he's 6 now and he can't lift a sword anymore. get detective conan'd, idiot. (this is mostly bc adult hendrik with luminary powers would be op as fuck and therefore i had to nerf him and also force him to ask for help for once. he knows everything but cant say anything and he'll need to rely on others to save the world) the fic will then follow the canon story order but things will happen in a different way due to hendrik's interference

third one's premise is: chifuyu gets visions of the future instead of takemichi, and when he sees baji's future he jumps to take the hit in his place. when he wakes up in the hospital, he learns that baji took the blame for the stabbing (he's in jail now) and that his new hospital roommate (once his condition has stabilized) is none other than kazutora (he's been punched in the face a whole lot and got broken bones too). they cant get along at all and takemichi is tasked with watching over them (kazutora is in his division now). once kazutora has healed somewhat, he'll try to get revenge on kisaki and hanma for pushing him to stab baji. at this point he's just obsessed with vengeance and doesnt care abt his own personal safety and chifuyu gets visions of him getting into big big trouble and so he has to get him out of it each time. they grow to trust each other eventually. there is also this takemichi//kisaki subplot which i am cooking up, where kazutora sends dudes to fuck up kisaki while he himself is fighting hanma, and takemichi is the one to rescue (sort of) kisaki (he gets his ass kicked lol but him taking half the hits essentially means kisaki doesnt get beaten to death). then takemichi carries kisaki home to tend to his wounds and then the dude gets a fever and takemichi gets to learn somewhat abt his past and why he is like this. main appeal of the kisa//take subplot is that at some point takemichi will have to go to the future for information and find out that kisaki didnt kill hina bc he didnt propose to her bc now he's in love with him?? for some reason?? it's honestly so funny to me. also i just wanna flesh out kisaki as a villain and find out what couldve shaped his world view (needless to say his family life is Fucked up) anyway this will probably also follow the canon timeline except now kazutora is here to fuck shit up and takemichi is trying to understand kisaki (with mixed results), which will drastically change how things go i think (no idea how this will end yet. i havent even figured out how to make chifuyu and kazutora get injured enough to share a hospital room for some time but not too injured that they can make it to the christmas fight (theyll probably still be recovering by that time... possibility of additional angst by having surgery scars reopen and all))

[wolfisland]

going to talk about it a little under the cut since i cant fucking help myself

i do think its not talked about enough w bi women in particular like its a very common experience discussed w lesbians and even to a degree w het women, but i think some ppl feel that bc bi women like all genders that by virtue of having more of a "choice" that we cant be severely negatively impacted by comphet.

ive known i was bi since i was 11, didnt come out til i was 14, and still felt genuinely honest to god DOOMED even into my 20s, that no matter how happy i could be with someone regardless of gender that it was inevitable and unavoidable: i would eventually be forced into a monogamous relationship with a cishet man, forced to abide by cisheteronormative gender roles and be a sahm, have kids i didnt want, be with a man i either wasnt attracted to or who didnt respect the entirety of my identity or autonomy. (i am monogamous, but when i was younger the idea of being Trapped with that man made me want to die so polyamory felt like the safest label to prevent the worst ending from happening)

and that because i was bisexual if i wanted to avoid that id have to choose otherwise - but for so long it didnt feel like i had a choice. id dated men, women, people who were both and neither, im engaged to another nonbinary person. it took years of being in this relationship for me to finally believe that i was safe and that it was sustainable and realistic for me to date someone who wasnt a cishet (or even simply cis) man. obviously a lot more goes into this for me, such as my identity as an indigenous person and being seen as the perpetual in between and conditionally acceptable to my family Gay Cousin; my family would be cool with me liking girls, as long as i didnt Love girls, marry girls, pick being with a woman over having a child with a man and settling down.

so i dated around a lot and dated people i liked and dated people i hated and entertained way too much shit from cishet dudes out of this weird internalized obligation to deny my identity and desires for my own future, to pursue an expression of my bisexuality that wasnt fulfilling and was actually deeply nauseating and traumatizing. its never been a question of whether or not i was attracted to men - i am, very much so, i dont even actually fall under the category of "bisexuals with a preference", its just matter of practice for me and the feeling of urgency behind settling down and trimming myself to fit a space that wasnt for me.

dating even a cis bisexual man wouldve been less of a death sentence - at least then i mightve had the chance of not feeling vaguely misgendered by my partner constantly, but then that comes with the stress of dating a cis man. the pressure of playing the perceived binary perisex "het passing" (disgusting, foul, biphobic, transphobic and frankly incorrect term) role of a wife and mother and an accessory to a man. pressured even within what wouldve been a bisexual relationship to perform to cisheteronormative standards. hate it.

anyways being t4t nb4nb bi4bi child free is a fucking gift. i want a hysterectomy

you could literally use me as the posterchild for bisexual comphet too like good lord.

[jemmo]

Hello ^^ Starting off, wanted to say that I absloutely adore your blog, analysis and tags! :D

I read your view about breaking up and how u said it doesn't make sense narratively

The thing is, I think it's actually possible, they could break up. His mom is still very mad at pat's dad, and it's the kind of mad that she has every right to, but she's still subjecting her feelings onto pran and is probably scared pat might hurt pran just like pat's dad hurt her.

Them running away together can just fuel her worry even more, that pat is gonna influence or affect pran badly and she could try her best to end the relationship, and I think she might even speak to pat about it and ask him to break up with pran or something. Or manipulate them somehow.

Another thing I see might happen, is pran's mum getting him a scholarship overseas, or transferring him somewhere far and flying him over just to end the relationship, it still seems possible. Here they might not break up break up but still "break up" if u get what I mean xD

Idk I just want friday to come already I can't wait lmao

eeeekk thank you sm anon

as for a break up, i feel like ive said why it doesnt make narrative sense to me, but they could always throw in some new elements that would validate it, make it reasonable, which is the only way i see it happening (and i dont strongly believe even that will happen bc the drama of the show is too well-established to add new things to the plot and have them cause more drama).

as for your reasons, i kinda have to disagree. like yeah, it could happen, but i dont think that would be good for the story at all, mainly in terms of pran's mom. she's been painted as a villain this whole time when in fact she was a victim that responded to her own pain badly. and i think she sees that now. pran, at least in my head, was a very quiet kid. i dont think he shared a lot of himself with his parents and that was fine bc his parents were interested in grades and success more than what their son liked and such, shown through their dismissal of him playing guitar. and in his silence, pran was obedient, fulfilled his role well. and all that time, i think his mother saw him as just shy and reserved, thats just how pran is, thats why he doesnt talk much, thats why he doesnt share. but in fact he didnt bc sharing would expose how unhappy he was, how much he hated having to fit their mould. its been bubbling under the surface for pran but i dont think his mom saw that, or even if she did she ignored it. her wording at the start of their argument suggests she had a sense something was happening but expected pran to stop it, almost giving him space to see if he would, if he would be obedient, learn his lesson from being transferred but he didn't. he didn't put up a fight when he was transferred before, so pran's mom has really never seen this side of him.

and then in that argument it all crashes down. all the facade, the falsity of it all, its gone now. prans exposed himself and shown his mom just how hurt hes been all these years, how he was suffering alone with the weight of expectation and hate that wasnt his own. his mom sees it for the first time, is forced to acknowledge it. and her face after she slaps him, you cant me thats not the face of a woman whos reached breaking point, who is now seeing herself for all the harm shes caused by holding onto the past. theres regret and guilt, thats what i believe.

so i dont think shes gonna become manipulative, i dont think shes gonna keep hurting pran now that she knows she has. you just wouldnt do that to your son knowingly, bc a lot of the pain pat and pran have been through has not been knowingly caused by their parents, its a byporduct, its them being caught in the crossfire. now they know, and i just dont think they could continue knowing what they're doing. they've done shit things but neither of them had any intent to hurt their own sons like this. and making pran's mom into a villain when you've just subverted that expectation doesnt make sense to me either. we're supposed to empathise with her anger. we're supposed to see that she dealt with it all wrong but also realise she was a human being who was hurt. pran's mom whole deal to me is that she never wanted to turn into this kind of parent. she didn't want to be harsh and controlling, she felt she had to in order to protect her son from pat and his family. and now i think that anger has turned onto pat's dad, bc what he did has now turned her into a parent she didnt want to be. she wanted to be the parent at the table in ep 7, laughing at her son getting flustered over a crush. she didnt want to be the one to add that exception at the end, but she had to for his own good. now that she's unleashed all her anger at pat's dad, i dont think she'd want to hold onto that parental role any longer. pat's dad and her anger have come between her and her own son for too long and she doesn't want that anymore, bc pran is more important to her than any of that.

sorry for the rant but the tl;dr is i dont think pran's mom will force or manipulate a breakup or a separation bc i think she's finally seeing that she has hurt her son and she needs to focus on mending their relationship above all else.

[horde-princess]

How do you think Catra made peace with her role in Angella’s entrapment (or death, depending on how you interpret it, i’ve seen both)? When she’s speaking to Hordak, she seems quite proud of it- “It worked out for us, didn’t it? Their queen is gone, the rebellion’s a mess!” And following Catra joining the rebels, it isn’t really addressed, as I know you & others have lamented. I think your metas are extremely well-written & I was curious about your perspective on this. Do you think she was

(2/2) remorseful? How do you think she made peace w/ it after the fact? How do you think the others would go about forgiving her for it, if at all? (I’d imagine Glimmer would have the hardest time, but she’s also caused similar harm to Etheria, so maybe not? I believe that’s what allowed her to empathize most with Catra also.) I apologize if you’ve answered asks related to Angella before! Also, your religious metas have been extremely cathartic reads & I wanted to thank you for them!

--

thank YOU so much for reading them 😭💕 yeah the thing is there’s so little in canon to go off of so ill try to get that sorted first and go from there

thats an interesting quote to bring up from 4x01. part of me is like “noo she didnt mean it she just needed to sell her worth to hordak” and another part is like yeah it makes sense she’d be proud, the leader of their enemy was gone even if its not something she can really take credit for it was still a huge victory. but in my opinion it doesnt weigh for or against any conclusion since its pre-redemption so lets try looking at some other moments

there’s her confrontation about the portal with scorpia in the same episode, you could argue her extreme anger there and the way she forces herself to relax shows that she’s trying to shove down her guilt. then ofc she has that nightmare in 4x03, and afterward her anxious reaction when adora brings it up. this stuff is super consistent with the way catra’s character is written, like they never spell her feelings out you gotta dig a little deeper u know

also this is stretching honestly but its something ive been thinking about a lot???? in 5x07 when glimmer mentions her dad? why have catra jump off adoras lap after THAT particular line.. if not to associate her unease about returning to etheria with angella 🤔🤔 super curious what yall think about this

(side note, not canon per se but storyboard artist Mickey Quinn drew this picture of Catra saying “I’m sorry” to Angella during a livestream -- could just be her own thoughts but likely reflects general feelings of the crew!)

idr anything else in canon so yeah unfortunately the writers didnt want to address angella directly, but with these brief moments i think there WAS a deliberate intention for fans to kinda read between the lines and assume that catra’s guilt re: the portal also related specifically to angella. it took me forever to get over it lkdfjld im still not tbh

but as far as catra making peace with it, season 5 is proof enough that yeah she would take full responsibility and feel terrible about it, like next to hurting adora it would have to be her biggest regret... its not something she’d come to terms with on her own i think it would take everyone’s reassurance and thats part of the beauty of the show u know the theme of friendship and forgiveness 😌 but before that could happen personally i wouldve liked to see everyone have time to grieve and process and just be angry. but like i agree i think glimmer would logically understand why catra did it but the emotional process of forgiveness would be a much longer journey for her and itd be amazing to see their friendship deepen because of it.. also i dont think we talk about this enough but angella was like a mother to bow and adora as well!!! i think they’d be v protective/defensive of glimmer for a while and there’d be some interesting tension between the 4 of them..  thats in my perfect world like if the show had 10 seasons haha. heres a post that talks a little bit more about what i wouldve liked to see happen in canon

also self plug i wrote a fic about this actually where i explore some thoughts on how catra and others dealt with her role in angellas death if ur interested 😇 just bc i think it expresses my feelings better than anything else i could say

[cosmosrival]

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away- 

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner. 

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

[gutsfics]

post uncanceled im not done talking

from the dialouge, iirc its kind of implied that Lord Elric had no idea that mc even existed before they showed up in Lamrain to hide from the bloodwraith. yet for some reason it seems like both he and mc expect mc to take over ruling Lamrain when the time comes? i mean less so mc but if you ask him if that means theyre his heir now he won't say no, even though he has a son which im assuming has been raised to take over his role.

which is like shitty as fuck. "sorry my boy i know youve been raised with the expectations of an entire peoples on your shoulders and expected to rule them eventually, but actually you were born second to a child i never even knew i had so everything i have is going to them instead. oopsie whoopsie." like if i were Tialo id be pretty pissed too ngl not because i'd have wanted that power but because i was forced into a role granted to me soley by birthright and then eventually i find out that actually my brithright is wrong so everything ive been raised for was completely pointless? forced into a role i didnt even want and then suddenly that role is taken from me not because i didn't want it but bc someone less qualified but more liked came along? like bitch. you raised me.

anyway thats why i think Elric should have known about mc's existance. like maybe due to mc being half human, he decided that mc should be raised in the human world so that they would be less likely to face the prejudices of being only half Fae, as most humans dont know about the existance of Fae. perhaps he raised Tialo with the expectation that Tialo would take over Lamrain only if mc doesn't ever return to claim their birthright

and Tialo knows this.

he knows that even if he's the one here being raised for this role, he could have it all taken away from him by the whims of some stranger who doesnt even know this world exists. and that's where his anger and entitlement comes from.

thinking about Nighbound again. more specifically how boring the whole Tialo thing was

like at basically every chance the story got it told us not to trust The Jealous Boy and honestly by that i was expecting... idk, more? from his characterization when he'd finally show up. like sure he's jealous of mc, but clearly there'd be something about him that could make trusting him or not seem less clear cut

and then we meet him and he's the most obnoxious pretentious snob ever? most untrustworthy man alive. like why the Fuck do we need like what three different people telling us not to trust him, he's done absolutely nothing to gain our trust in the first place. its like the writers just wanted to keep beating us over the head with how "evil" he is instead of letting his actions speak for themselves

and then his actions are entierly underwhelming? stupid even? literally just to force a reason for mc to get out of Lamrain.

and then the book ends and he's eaten by an alligator. like okay????? and????? what was the point of all of this

POST CANCELLED I JUST SAW A LADY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE PICK UP THE DOG SHE WAS WALKING AND PUT HIM IN HER STROLLER

[fisherrprince]

What are your thoughts on KH Melody of Memory?

!!! THESE ARE SPOILERS !!! by nature of this question. so theyre going behind a readmore

okay well, if you want to know how ive been doing, i’ve been playing online matches for a few hours this morning I -- it’s a really fun game! I love rhythm games and I love fightin’ bad guys and listening to kingdom hearts music and it’s just overall a good game! There is a TON of content past the world tour section. Throw down with me on standard/tricks on online match if you want to, like, only play l’impeto oscuro and songs like l’impeto oscuro no i will not stop playing boppin’ darkness songs. who’s sanctuary i dont know her

gosh okay but like some of the unlockable songs are timed not to the beat but to the notes and they’re the classical kind of -- like, not exactly on the beat kind of thing -- YOU KNOW? THEY’RE HARD. side note can you believe I have to get all excellent on wave of darkness proud mode and i have gotten all excellent except for in That Part. You Know The Part.

in regards to Kairi I don’t know if you can tell from the content I make but I don’t think about her too often, because she’s not interesting enough for me. it’s not that I don’t think she deserves better, slash deserved past tense better, it’s just I don’t clock her as important because the games don’t Show you she’s important. Melody of Memory could have done more/better with regards to Kairi’s role but HONESTLY? HONESTLY? I don’t think i would have liked it, actually. She hasn’t done jack for a long time, suddenly being like “and now Kairi” would not have made me happy. Kinda wish she went with Riku BUT! i am SO excited for her to interact with the whole cast, and AQUA!!!!!!! MASTER AQUA!!!!!!!!! She really needs to like, figure herself out and where she stands with the everything she decided to join. I like to see her getting development potential outside of Sora and Riku, and I like to see her easing in to what is ostensibly like, way huge compared to regular life, or even just training with Axel (not an experienced wielder). She seemed overwhelmed in the graveyard. Now, y’know, she just has to Do it. Please Kairi interact with Ventus you are both pure heart friends be friends now Go

I hope she can become interesting, and I’m glad so far it doesn’t feel forced even if she still falls into the same annoying (annoyingly funny at this point) ‘im being benched’ traps. I had my doubts about actually being able to like.... enjoy seeing her on the screen, bc i feared it would be too late for me to start liking her, but I appreciate that Alyson was allowed to go a little more feral wrt her voice >:) idk if you can tell i Love Xion’s voice barks in her data battle

hey also me looking at the end of melody of memory here’s how getting all of Sora’s friends to help save him can still win here’s how we can have everyone together and happy here’s how w AND HEY WHATS -- WHAT WAS WITH THE CRYSTAL FLOWER? WE DIDNT GET THAT ANSWER.  IS PART OF SORA IN KAIRI’S HEART? IS PART OF SORA IN ALL OF HIS FRIENDS’ HEARTS? HOW IS THAT WORKING? SORA ANSWER ME I KNOW YOU CANT TALK AND PROBABLY AREN’T CONSCIOUS OF YOURSELF BEING THERE KINDA LIKE A LINGERING WILL SORT OF SITUATION BUT I. RIKU GO GET YOUR MANS PLEASE

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[newwwwblogggg]

Guys.

I've heard people saying lately that early on in voltron klance was intended to be canon.

And i didnt believe that until i took another look at this pic.

Y'all have seen it, the post that for many implied that lance would have some sort of lgbt related arc. As i saw one user point out, the characters with story arc's related to the sign they're holding are the ones who look nervous and the ones standing next to them look more confident. Proud even.

You look at the "race" sign, you see keith looking nervous and hunk standing next to him. This (obviously) is bc keith had the galra arc, and in a way hunk was there for him.

Then of course pidge holding up the "gender" sign, correlating with her arc about pretending to be a boy to get into the garrison. Again, looking nervous as she 2as the one with the arc. Allura is next to her as she, in a way, was there for pidge.

Then we get to the last one.

Lance is the one looking nervous here with a confident shiro next to him.

Lance was supposed to have the arc.

But instead, shiro did (if you could call it an arc)

Guys, lance was supposed to have a Bi arc. By extansion, klance was potentially supposed to be canon king.

But when the idea was trashed, who did they move on to?

Shiro. Of course. Because, since hes holding the sign, switching the roles isnt technically lying or misleading, right?

Remember how everyone thought 'gay shiro' seemed forced and out of nowhere?

Thats because it was nevee supposed to happen. Shiro got lance's lgbt arc.

This paired with all the tea from twitter?? Preeety sure klance shoulda been canon king.

Bonus: can u believe all the lies? "Lance wont be alluras rebound" "the romance will be slowburn" boi? How could u not call that a rebound? Also um remember when the mice told allura lance liked her and she frowned?? What happened there??? Ik theres more i cant remember but honestly.

Also, if they weren't originally intending or atleast considering endgame klance then WHY would they keep fans on it like they coulda shut it down so early and ik people would have still watched the show but when asked they didnt say anything to douse the flames like c'mon guys

Disclaimer: no i dont hate the cast im not salty over no klance either. Ive never actually been super investested in klance. I didnt hate s8. I just wanted to point this out.

[red-wardens]

DA Questions

Tagged by: @goblin-deity and @gothkimmyschmidt -- thank you :)

Tagging: @jaffa-keksi @chillyrose @dickeybbqpit @mocha-writes @the-dread-doggo @heraldofwho @keeperscompanionsdai @space-vashoth (if you guys haven’t done it already. if you have, tag me so i can see!)

–---------

01) Favorite game of the series?

Dragon Age 2. I love the bisexual disaster companions and how they have friends/relationships/lives outside of you. And I love Hawke and their tragic story. I also like having years passing with the same protagonist/companions instead of “my new companions and I had one crazy year together”. Plus fighting mechanics were my favorite in this game. 

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

I saw gifs of Morrigan on tumblr years ago (back when DA2 was still new) and thought, “holy shit, she’s pretty I should play that”, and just never got around to it till a couple years later till when I saw a lot of gifs of default Marian Hawke and thought “she’s gorgeous and funny and I would die for her” (I still can’t believe I used to think I was straight...) and then found out she’s not till the second game so I hurried up and bought Origins to play first. Then got hooked, Origins has such a great story.

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

I’m on my 4th and 5th (playing simultaneously) playthroughs of Origins, I’ve played DA2 either 6 or 7 times. Inquisition I’ve only played once and I skipped most of the side missions because that game is so long.

04) Favorite race to play as?

Elf. I love dwarves a lot though and if they could do magic they’d easily be the fave. 

05) Favorite class?

Mage. I like healing and not having to get close to enemies. 

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

I try to play differently each time and role play hard (ex: certain mage OC’s are only allowed to have skills in certain fields of magic even if it’s inconvenient for me, my traumatized-by-Carver’s-death Hawke who is triggered by seeing ogres can only “hold position” when one appears and I can only fight as the companions because she’s having a panic attack). In Origins I like to put someone different on the throne each time, side with mages once and templars the next, and have companions love/hate me according to my OC’s personality (and not cheat by using the Feast Day gifts). In DA2 I have a different personality Hawke each time and they make varying choices but in the end I have never sided with templars. I think in my 2nd Inquisition playthrough I’ll side with templars though out of curiosity. 

07) Go-to adventuring group?

Always depends on who is the love interest and who are the closest friends of my protagonist. Even if the team comp is terrible. 

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Blue Surana was my first character ever so she’s had the longest time of me adding/subtracting/updating her and her story. That being said I like to think I’ve put a lot of thought into my Mahariel and Amell as well. Out of my Hawkes, Claira is the most developed. 

09) Favorite romance?

Fenris. 

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

I've read all the comics and I’ve read “The Calling” and “The Last Flight” I plan to read the other books soon hopefully. 

11) If you read them, which was your favorite book?

I really recommend The Last Flight if you’re a die hard Grey Wardens fan like me. The main character inspired the name for my Mahariel. 

12) Favorite DLCs?

 I genuinely forgot Awakening is DLC since it came with my game but, yeah. I love all the companions in Awakening and I wish it were longer. “The Exiled Prince” is also another fave since I genuinely like Sebastian Vael and he’s a kickass squadmate. 

13) Things that annoy you.

The white-washing, what happened to Orsino, the way Inquisition doesn’t take into account Hawke could have been a blood mage, no healing as an Inquisition mage, the fucking Requisition Officer, the way you can’t be nicer to Sera, no dwarf romances, and how the Inquisitor can’t call Cullen out on certain things (Cassandra too, honestly, though I love her she can be really insensitive to other cultures). That’s just in the games, don’t even get me started on some of the fandom. 

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Frozen Dog Lovers > Snooty Elf Oppressors, any day 

15) Templars or mages?

Mages, no contest.

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

I have 3 worldstates that I have playthroughs for, and a Multi-Warden AU

Worldstate 1 - Arcane Warrior/Battlemage/Fire Mage, mutual-pining-for-Sten, grey-sexual Blue Surana + Spirit Healer/Ice Mage, Fenris Romance, gay Akono Hawke

Worldstate 2 - Ranger/Assasin Archer, Zevran Romance, straight Isseya Mahariel + Blood Mage/Earth Mage, Sebastian rivalmance, panromantic/ace Henley Hawke

Worldstate 3 - Blood Mage/Spirit Healer/Entropy Mage, Leliana Romance, bisexual Alyss Amell (dies) + Shadow/Dual-Blade Rogue, Anders Romance, bisexual Claira Hawke

Multi-Warden AU: Blue Surana is main warden and recruits the others after Ostagar forming what I call the “Warden Squad”. Most thought-out world, that I have the most writing for but will probably never get around to writing the actual fic. We will see. Also, I need to make some Inquisitors for all these worldstates....they’re planned out I just need to force myself to actually play them. 

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Mabari’s: Rabbit (Blue Surana), Dog (Isseya Mahariel), Teddy (Alyss Amell), Tor (Akono Hawke),  Better Carver “BC” (Henley Hawke), Bear (Claira Hawke). Isseya Mahariel numbers her wolf and bear summons A-# for wolves and B-# for bears. 

18) Have you installed any mods?

I play on xbox so nah, sadly. 

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

Blue Surana didn’t want to leave the Circle and Isseya Mahariel didn’t want to give up searching for Tamlen so “no” for both of them, but they both were amazing at it. Alyss Amell, as much as it terrified her to leave to fight things, wanted to be free of Kinloch Hold. 

20) Hawke’s personality?

Akono is almost exclusively Purple though he has rare Blue moments when speaking to Carver or sometimes Fenris. 

Henley is solidly Red except maybe once or twice chose purple banter for talking to her only friend, Varric. 

Claira is the most varied in that she’s split 60-40 between Blue and Red, meaning well and wanting to be all good/peaceful, but having a wild, passionate temper when defending mages and her friends/family. I also headcanon she has the foulest mouth of my Hawkes though she actively tries to stop cursing it’s an unbreakable habit. She’s also a shameless flirt and hits that heart button almost every single time it comes up (I wouldn’t consider her Purple at all though since she isn’t sarcastic and is the type to laugh at jokes rather than make her own).  

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

I made Cole and I matching outfits because I love him ._.

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

This could get long if I listed everyone so, Blue Surana regrets not telling Sten how she felt sooner, though she doubts it would have changed anything. Isseya Mahariel wishes Tamlen could have been found sooner so the Joining could have saved him. 

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

My entire Multi-Warden AU is a big “fuck you” to canon because all those potential wardens deserve to live dammit.

24) Who did you leave in the Fade?

In this house we do not leave Hawkes in the Fade. So, sorry Loghain :(

25) Favorite mount?

I legit forgot I had a mount 90% of the time. At least I got to hear more dialogue I guess. 

[crimsonsalutations]

What don't you like about fandom hanzo? :o just asking because I'm really picky about it myself personally

oh anon youve asked the Wrong question bc i have A Lot of thoughts on my boy hanzo

BUT before i say anything i just want 2 say that Despite the fact that i bitch a lot abt characterization on this blog, i dont intend hate or disrespect @ anyone who portrays characters in the way i bitch about. fandom is about making yourself happy & if a characterization makes you happy then you should pursue it despite what my dumb bitch ass has to say about it. ok.

ive mentioned this a few times before but i 

A. love redemption arcs and 

B. dont like... victimization. whether its canon or not-- like a character whose whole thing revolves around them being a victim of everything in their life? eh. boring. like widowmaker: she was a happy ballerina... she got brainwashed... it’s like... now what. she was happy, now she’s a victim, there’s nothing cool in there to explore.

i dislike characterizations of hanzo where people try to explain away the fratricide with ‘he was abused by sojiro’ or ‘he was brainwashed by the clan of elders’ partially because of what i just said and partially because it just seems unlikely in canon bc

1.chu... a while ago, said genji was part of overwatch when he was human, which we took as a slip-up but i dont think(?) that he ever took that back. 

2.genji says something in retribution like ‘no matter what i do... i cannot escape my fate’ when mccree says they’ve become assassins, implying he’s tried to escape becoming an assassin.  

3. overwatch was conveniently close enough to genji & the shimadas that they could swoop in and save him before he actually died

4. genji wasnt murdered. he was brutalized. he has scars up and down his arms, he’s got burn scars on his face, and when hanzo was done with him he couldnt walk anymore. plus there’s a post somewhere on here that theorizes due to the nature of blackwatch genji’s prosthesis +  the blood spatter in hanamura, it seems that hanzo attacked him from behind

hanzo’s bio says

Upon the death of his father, the clan elders instructed Hanzo to straighten out his wayward younger brother so that he, too, might help rule the Shimada empire. When his brother refused, Hanzo was forced to kill him. This act broke Hanzo's heart and drove him to reject blah blah 

but genji’s death doesnt seem like some kind of duty driven, single-manly-tear-slipping-down-the-cheek, hold-him-in-your-arms-as-he-goes death. he was brutalized. hanzo was angry.

while hanzo’s bio talks about hanzo’s broken heart, genji’s bio says this

Hanzo demanded that Genji take a more active role in their late father's empire. Genji refused, enraging Hanzo. The tension between the brothers built to a violent confrontation that left Genji on the verge of dying. 

and i mean ok. im not here to judge hanzo or condemn him (personally i think ppl who try to assert their moral superiority over fictional characters are.. a little pathetic) & there’s a lot that goes into this, pressure from the elders, japanese culture, unhealthy environments. but hanzo had a choice.

all this stuff seems to imply to me that genji betrayed the shimadas for overwatch. maybe he caught on that he was in danger without sojiro around to protect him. maybe he just wanted out. i dont know. does it matter? 

but hanzo couldve spared him. couldve cast him out. couldve done a bunch of things, but he didnt. 

the fact is. that hanzo killed his brother. (brutalized his brother).

 and thats why i find him interesting. how do you deal with that?

like, okay. you’re standing there, and you’ve got your little brother’s blood on your hands. and you’re looking down at him (at his corpse) and the adrenaline high is leaving and it’s beginning to sink in that you’ve murdered your little brother. in cold blood. what do you do? what’s next?

i mean, you punch someone in the face and you feel bad about it, you go ‘oh shit im so sorry’ and you grab them an ice pack. but genji’s dead. there’s no one to apologize to. there’s no way to fix it. you’ve done a terrible thing. an evil thing. an abusive, awful, terrible thing. and you cant take it back. and there’s no one or nothing to blame it on: you did it and there’s nothing you can do to change that. 

what’s next? where do you go from there?

that’s what i find interesting about hanzo. because thats the thing about overwatch. anyone can be a hero. even if youve killed your brother. even if you’re the worst person on the planet. all you have to do is try.

and. in this context it makes more sense that hanzo rejects genji at first. the cycle he mustve been going down those ten years.

i killed my brother --> im a terrible person because ive killed my brother --> i killed my brother because im a terrible person

his whole concept of himself has devolved into this brother-killer who can never redeem himself, and then genji pops up one day like ‘hey whats up’ and this isnt just forcing hanzo to re-evaluate his relationship with genji, but also himself. it’s a bit self-centered, yeah, but he rejects genji in part because He Is A Brother Killer, that’s just how he sees himself. genji shows up and hanzo’s like, ‘you cant be alive because im a filthy bastard that killed my brother’

its obvious he still regrets it though. he says it was duty (i cant even get into that w/o more context abt what he means by ‘duty’ + the whole situation beyond vague descriptions in bios) and he also stopped using a sword after that. which is interesting either way. was that out of respect? did he just feel sick using one? idk. 

the whole idea of blaming what he did on abuse or brainwashing is just so meh :/ to me because i just dont like those kind of stories. partially because a lot of the time they just feel like the author is trying to garner sympathy for an unlikable character, and partially because oftentimes abuse is passed off as a motivation when it’s not. 

lots of people are abused. there is no one reaction or outcome of abuse. someone lashes out at their abuser and kills them, that’s because they were angry or scared, not because they were abused. the anger was created bc of the abuse but the anger is what led them to act, not the abuse. 

hearing about the abuse just makes me sad, and to be completely honest it doesnt make me sympathize with a character any more or less. it’s just like adding really bland cheese to a sandwich. i can tell the cheese is there, but i cant taste it and it doesnt really affect the sandwich. all it does is give me more to chew.

hanzo didnt kill genji because he was abused or brainwashed, or else all abused/brainwashed children would kill their siblings. hanzo killed genji because he was angry (maybe that anger as born of abuse. frankly i dont think it matters much). what i want to see less of with hanzo is ‘fucked up bastard kills his brother’ and less of ‘poor abused baby accidentally tripped and stabbed genji with his sword :(’ and more ‘confused man tries to figure out how to live with himself after realizing he is kind of an awful person’

plus i feel like hanzo is a very specific balance between a broken man and a complete jackass and no one seems to combine those 2 traits in a way that satisfies me