#religious trauma!peter

[here-for-a-good-time-hopefully]

I headcanon that Peter Pettigrew is Irish and grew up Catholic like something abt him gives me such like religious trauma vibes and the fact that he would’ve lived through the Troubles in Ireland like I feel like that would’ve been a huge catalyst for The Betrayal and his separation from the marauders

Also Peter just gives me such Derry Girls vibes like idk but I could see him as the Claire of the marauders

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

Been listening to the Carrie musical (so good btw, pls take a listen) and drew the star herself, Carrie White. Added some alt images.

I love Carrie so much. I seriously relate to her so much more than I can describe.

Socially awkward, bullied in multiple ways, outcasted since she was young, grown up in a religious household and pressure, having religious trauma and fear, built up rage, day dreaming and social anxiety, isolation, people pleasing, feeling as if kind gestures are some sort of prank, and last of all…seeing that comparison and her completely destroying everyone and everything that hurt her and then disappearing with it—having some sort of peace. Watching it all burn after the final straw snaps. The ultimate fantasy.

[cosmicallydivine]

i fear the target audience for this may literally just be me but this realization hit me like a fucking truck the other day and i could not stop thinking about it

[itsstilltru]

“Forgive me.”

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

TW Religion

Look I understand why religious people take offense to Good Omens, the Hellaverse, and that type of media (I've made posts on this before, about how the church kinda made their own bed, and I stand by that). I'm religious. I'm a practicing Christian. There are things in the shows that bother me a bit at times. There are parts of the fandom that I think go too far, but that happens in every single fandom. I think many of us who've been in any fandom for a bit can think of an example where someone just took something way to far. I mean there are multiple stories out there, to the point you sometimes see jokes about it, where someone went from fan to felon pretty dang quick. Or cases where a group of fans got more than a bit culty. The difference with the Hellaverse specifically, is, I believe, that if you take it to far you can start messing with very real demons, who are not the same as the ones in the show, and I don't want to touch that.

Now all that said, the fact that I am religious is a key contributor in why I love this kinda of media, and why I gravitate to it. I like things that bother me, at least things that bother me theologically. I really like things that make me question my faith, or components of it. Also, if I haven't made this crystal clear, the church has caused me a great deal of pain, and continues to do so. I have a lot of religious trauma to work through, and it can be really hard, because I often feel really alone. Most people with religious trauma leave the religion in question. I'm still here. I have to grapple, almost daily, with separating my hurt from my faith, and separating what I was taught from what I actually believe. I'm exvangelical, but I'm still a church going, bible believing Christian, and y'all that's a special kind of hell. It hurts, a lot. Sometimes to the point where it makes me physically ill. People I love and respect, continue to say things knowingly or unknowingly that cut like a knife. And How many times can you get stabbed? How long? How long must I hurt?

These shows help me process. They help me look at things from another perspective and go "do I believe that? And if I do, why?" Also sometimes they call me out, and that's never fun... but it can be important. But one of the big ones is that it gives me a chance to process my hurt with the symbolism of my childhood. It's healing.

I latched onto Emily, because I see myself in her. I see someone who believed, and had the rug pulled out from under them. I see someone, who still believes, but feels betrayed. Someone who now has to confront and question, because "if this was a lie what else is?" And "I trusted this person and this is what they did?" And possibly worst of all, "I helped enable this. I allowed this to happen. I might not have known, but I still helped. What have I done?" I know those feelings. I live them every single day.

I understand Aziraphale's choice to go running back to heaven (whether I like that choice or not, and I don't). It looked like they would accept him as he was, even accept those he loves. He sees an opportunity to change things for the better, in this system he knows, and cares about even. It's not going to go well. We know it's not, and I think even Aziraphale knows that, but that need to believe it can change, that you change it, yeah I get it. I really do.

I understand Sera's desperation to protect. I remember feeling St. Peter's aversion. The desperate bargaining we've seen from the cherubs trying to convince themselves what they're doing is right, or at least not wrong, I've done it. I see myself in Vaggie, trying to mend the damage she did. I was an armored gay. I know I too caused harm. Lucifer's abandonment issues and desire to just leave it all behind him or try to. It's all to real. And Crowley's disillusionment with everything? His belief that he is "on his own side", because where else could he possibly go? Yeah I get that too.

And I could go on

And on

And on

[mayasaura]

There's a weird kind of tension I feel being in the Locked Tomb fandom without being Christian. Especially having grown up in a heavily Christian part of the world, constantly surrounded by pressure to convert.

I don't only mean the constant low grade cultural pressure underpinning daily life, though I mean that too. I mean I get accosted in the street by missionaries. I mean I was first told I was going to hell when I was four years old, by a babysitter who would only let me watch Veggie Tales. I've had a man handing out leaflets follow me around attempting to lay his hands on my head or shoulders while reciting what I think a Catholic friend later told me was called the Sinner's Prayer, cajoling me to repeat after him. My grandfather died after being unable to find a support group that wasn't rooted in the christian faith, and didn't therefore require him to violate his religious beliefs.

Which is all taking the long way around to saying I don't really vibe heavy with the series' christian subtext. I like to enjoy the story primarily through other lenses.

But at the same time the symbolism is there, and intentional, and doing a lot of very interesting things. So I am paying attention to it. I try to consider it an interesting mythological theme, like the classical Greek references. It usually works, but maintaining that distance can be a struggle.

I don't really have a conclusion here. It's just a weird place to be. The draw of wanting to connect the dots, to appreciate the intricate symbolic art, at war with... all that, and with the creeping anxiety that whispers: how much of a philosophy can you know before you get filled up with it? Is there ever a point where you are what you know, whether you want to be or not?

[your-fav-has-religious-trauma]

Peter Lukas from The Magnus Archives has religious trauma!

[starsandsnakes]

FF: When the Church Choir Sings by starsandsnakes

Friendly reminder that the remainder of my FF comes out this Friday!

Who is ready to cry? Raise your hands. 🙋 🙋‍♀️ 🙋‍♂️

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[shootingthe-stars]

nowhere man chapter 37 is now out!!

chapter 37 or from the beginning!

[stay-pos-cos]

I ask you to betray me with a kiss,

To exchange a pound of silver for my pound of flesh.

I ask you to betray me beautifully, to break bread at my table before you break my heart.

Your brother will claim to have never known me, and that may be for the best.

After all we all have our crosses to bare and the scent of lumber is the smell of home.

My brow is laiden with the weight of a crown I never asked for, so betray me softly, with a kiss.

[pepart]

Random religious themed art piece I drop ever 3-4 months for whatever reason - check ✅️

[palismet]

because you're a weapon and weapons don't weep / what is a lineage if not a gold thread of pride and guilt / if i let him do this to me, what else will i allow? anything, anything, anything / nothing else matters when he loves me and nothing else matters when he doesn't / i know i should go but i follow you like a man possessed / i am the sword (if i'm not the sword, who am i?) / i will wait for the next time you want me like a dog with a bird outside your door / i am dirty, infinitely dirty, this is why i scream so much about purity / grief taught me inhumane things / if you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house / but you have to satisfy the monster. the monster has loved you for longer than anyone else / anything i've ever let go of has had claw marks on it / if you killed me, would you make it good? would you make it holy? / god loves you but not enough to save you.

[hurricanejaheira]

love seeing people on their religious deconstruction journey talk about their process of healing from that trauma and how they're doing it in ways that show they are actually going to therapy and like... meanwhile a large part of my deconstructing process is just talking about the bible as if it were a piece of media that would be discussed on a Tumblr user's fandom blog in the early 2010s idk something about saying "headcanon that Peter is the most likely of the twelve disciples to do edibles" just makes the religious structure that i have a very weird and traumatic relationship with a lot less intimidating

[dmziaart]

If guardian angels are real, then what is mine waiting for, how far do I need to fall for them to start lifting me up again?

If heaven is real, would I be accepted with open arms, or would Saint Peter deny me from even laying a hand on the gates?

If the angelic scribe of god, Metatron is real then can he tell me what our Father's plan is for me, and if I am following it correctly?

[starsandsnakes]

FF: When the Church Choir Sings by starsandsnakes