stay-pos-cos - Tumblr blog

[stay-pos-cos]

Been clowning a bit lately

[stay-pos-cos]

Do you think Mary knew that her son was dead the moment he was born?

Do you think she held her baby and knew that no matter how much suffering he soothed, how many people helped it would never be enough? Did she know that the only way for him to live up to his father's expectations was to break his mother's heart?

[stay-pos-cos]

Hi!! My name is Scarlet and I am a cosplayer on TikTok and Instagram (under the same username (with underscores instead of dashes)). I recently had the opportunity to apply for Sephora Squad and I would appreciate any testimonials of my work or if more cosplayers and alternative makeup artists would consider applying next year. I would love to see more of us represented in the beauty community :)

https://go.sephorasquad.com/testimonial/submit/7631be83-db79-438e-9cd6-bccfe9048bf6

[stay-pos-cos]

[stay-pos-cos]

nothing has made me feel like an ancient grumpy crone more than the “using chatgpt for school is fine actually” sentiment among youths

[stay-pos-cos]

Text adapted from this post by palestinian writer and my dear friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 )

Since siraj's home was destroyed in november by the IOF, he and his family have been displaced seven times. Since then they have been at constant risk of starvation, violence and illness.

Since the latest attack by the IOF that displaced his parents, his siblings and their families, Siraj is the sole provider for 23 family members now. This is already when three young children are sick with serious infections during a time where children in gaza are not even able to to get basic vaccinations anymore. He is struggling badly to make ends meet, and it weighs on him greatly that he is not able to provide for his family at such a difficult time.

Currently, he is at $51,480 CAD / $82,000 

He needs to reach his goal as soon as possible to take care of his family.

Please donate anything you can spare, easing this burden off his shoulders even a little is the least we can do right now

Vetted and appears #219 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi’s list of vetted fundraisers, so please dont hesitate to share and donate.

Since the gfm organizer is based in canada, the gfm will not accept donations from paypal. Please DM @malcriada who is a trusted friend of siraj if you wish to donate using paypal, or are otherwise having any issue donating to the gfm with general cards.

[stay-pos-cos]

Eh as a trans guy I'm not sure I agree with your points for trans Sam (you're totally entitled to your opinion ofc tho, this isn't meant to be an attack, just an addition to the discussion so feel free to straight up delete this message lol). The feeling impure stuff (for me) doesn't really start until *after* he finds out about ingesting Azazel's demon blood, before that he feels different because his family is poor and they have to move around a lot but he equally feels different to both John and Dean bc they don't feel a need to be "normal", so to speak.

As for the demon blood as testosterone.... uh it comes off as a little bit transphobic? I'm rly not trying to be a wet blanket about it but testosterone making you violent is a myth, a pretty transphobic one. The demon blood storyline is intended to parallel an addiction so comparing it to hormone treatment doesn't really work. This is the point I take the most issue with actually because it's genuine misinformation and paints all trans guys as violent addicts.

Dean calling him Sammy is literally just sibling behaviour, I call my siblings versions of their names even if it annoys them and they do the same to me. (You could probably more apply this point to Crowley, who calls him Samantha).

Dean also calls both men and women, as well as male and female monsters "bitch", making it a gender neutral insult for him. Sam on the other hand mostly refers to women using the term.

Lots of cis men have long hair and Sam's hair really isn't that long. So that's pretty surface level and I don't see what it would have to do with being trans. It's fairly surface level but ig I can sorta see it.

The only person who tries to imply that Sam is less of a man's man is Dean, which tbh is 2000s sibling behaviour, Sam repeatedly does the same to Dean. In every encounter they have (aside from the people who mistake them for a couple), Dean is the one who has his masculinity questioned (when Elliot Ness calls him a nancy, when they're sent back in time and the men say Dean's clothes are too clean, the whole mess with the Campbell's at the beginning of s6).

I totally understand where you're coming from and your points are absolutely valid.

I will say however that my father and I have both been on T and were absolute bitches until our doses were figured out hormones make people act weird sometimes. Though that part of the post was explicitly called a joke. (The parallel between his addiction and Crowley's was wonderfully done in my opinion)

Once again your opinion is valid but I seem to recall Sam telling Dean that as a child he never felt like he belonged, like "a freak". Beyond their weird childhood.

Thank you for sharing another perspective :)

[stay-pos-cos]

I have an addendum, he sees himself as Dallas Winston but he is not. He is Darry Curtis. The man who gave up everything for his brother because at the end of the day he could never make any other choice.

And Sam is Ponyboy, a sensitive soul who loves nothing more than to read and write. Driven from his home by a father figure's anger. John was crueler than Darrell by a mile but their anger effected both boys just the same.

While Dean sees himself as Dallas, a cold, aggressive, neerdowell with one soft spot. His brother.

Dean Winchester is a Dallas Winston kinnie.

[stay-pos-cos]

"Sam makes more sense to be queer coded than Deam."

"Sam's definitely the gayer sibling"

*LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

Sam is actually trans, walk with me here.

Spends his whole life feeling as if his body is wrong, tainted, impure. Feels trapped by a component in his body that is not his own.

He has to ingest demon blood to achieve his full potential. It makes him more aggressive (testosterone methinks) *this one is mostly a joke*

He REPEATEDLY asks Dean to call him by his chosen name (Sam instead of Sammy)

Dean calls him bitch, while using son of a bitch regularly outside of that context. (this being a pre-transition hold over)

People constantly make fun of his long, well cared for hair.

He's looked at as less of a man's man constantly.

[stay-pos-cos]

Got called cringe in the comments of one of my Chica videos by some teen boy, replied "to be cringe is to be free." Guess what happened?

A completely seperate teen boy replied to my comment with "cringe 💀" and then my little sister laughed at me for ten minutes.

[stay-pos-cos]

Did anyone else grow up to be anti-imperialist because of A Bug's Life? Like it's how I was able to understand the Irish "Famine" and civil war.

Is this too niche?

[stay-pos-cos]

It's weird to hear my friends claim to want sugar daddies because to me the goal isn't for a man to buy my submission.

If anything it's to bring a man with more power and money than me to his knees.

As Marx intended.

[stay-pos-cos]

‏My heart breaks into millions of pieces whenever my brothers are able to send me pictures of the kids. Seeing their innocent smiles amidst all the suffering fills my family and I with as much courage as it does with pain. It's not merely the walls of the house they were supposed to grow up in that have been reduced to rubble; Precious irreplaceable moments of their childhood along with so many hopes and dreams have also gone up in smoke. Due to the ongoing genocide and constant dispalcement, they have been robbed of the simplest of joys like going to school or having fun at playgrounds, since all those supposedly safe spaces have been destroyed. Instead, they have to wait in endless lines for some polluted water, fend off insects and endure the unbearable heat in the tent. Not only that, but our children and newborns live in an unhealthy hazardous environment due to the piles of waste and filthy sewage water surrounding them leading to the spread of disease including all types of skin rash and bacterial and viral infections.

‏what makes it even worse is the shortage, if not total absence, of medical care, medicines, and hygiene pruducts.

‏ Desdpite everything, my family have been trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy for the children's sake. Some teachers in the camp set up a tent to help kids learn and forget their daily struggle, so my brother and sister have been taking my nephews and nieces there. It's not perfect but it made the little ones really happy. It is literally an ordeal to provide ingredients and even cook food every day. However, my family have been doing their best to make some treats for the children and also get them some stationery but it costs a fortune to buy the most basic items now in Gaza if they are ever available.

‏My family's day to day expenses keep increasing due to the blockade and skyrocketing prices. It cost them a packet (300 euros) to only buy the smallest gas bottle which they couldn't believe they could find in the first place. They have been using it sparingly since it's considered some type of luxury now. After losing my job and due to my own struggles in Germany, I haven't been able to provide for them as I used to so I was forced to send them donation money meant for their evacuation which does not seem very likely at the moment. That's why a great amount of the funds has been exhausted to help my family pay for their ever rising daily expenditures, and I had no choice but to increase the goal of the fundraiser from the thankfully raised €70000 to €100000.

‏cannot begin to imagine what would've become of everyone if it weren't for your generous support. Words fail to descibe how grateful I am to all of you. I sincerely wish I didn't have to but I have no other option but to ask for your help again. Every member in my family, especially the children and newborns, is in dire need of any contribution whether it is a reblog or donation. They are literally fighting for their very survival so please continue to help them get through this insufferable hardship as you always have. I truly trust you will 🙏

[stay-pos-cos]

While most of the arguments attacking the legitimacy of palestinian gfms and the people who verify them seem to boil down to the plain racism and the discomfort with having to think of palestinians as anything other than faceless statistics on your phone or tv screens instead of real living people who want to talk to us, there is a strain of of it that i find more aggravating than anything else.

[image i.d.: senatortedcruz, 6d ago: Friends I will be honest I don't think real life Gazans are taking time out of their day to make brand new tumblr blogs then send asks to big bloggers asking for money.]

This makes my blood boil for a couple of reasons:

FIRSTLY, there is the assumption that palestinians were somehow never on the internet before. The smear campaign against shahed began literally after some users found it impossible to believe that she was a real person who loves photography and to talk to me about her art and how important it was to her. This was IN SPITE of me linking her Instagram that has existed long before October 7th 2023 and has over 6k followers specifically there for her art, which they would have found easily if they had cared to actually read my posts about her.

This is nothing new, because it has always been the general assumption from users in the imperial core that you don't think we from the global south can exist on the internet and see all the shit you say and have opinions about it– but it never stops being shocking to me how thoroughly you are ready to pretend we aren't real people every time. We are directly seeing the results of that wilful ignorance manifest itself cruelly against palestinians in their time of need today.

And then SECONDLY comes the fact that they aren't entirely wrong– reaching out to us on the internet in the middle of a genocide IS insanely hard. There are constant network outages due to the incessant bombing, people have lost their homes and livelihoods, they have lost so much of their friends and families, they are sick and injured, they are struggling just to find any food or any clean water. A lot of people either lost their cellphones while fleeing violence or probably had to sell them and pick cutting themselves off from the world and each other over starving. They are experiencing atrocities beyond our comprehension. A lot of people have given up, especially in the face of the apathy they see from the rest of the world to what they are going through. But that doesn't mean everyone has and that they aren't reaching out to us anyway, often at great cost to themselves, because it is a matter of survival.

Shahed has told me that she has had to struggle a lot to reach out to us. Finding places where there is internet connection is very hard, and she often has to risk going by active combat zones to get a good enough reception to talk to me and others here she has befriended. The danger is even more so at night, and she has told me about how afraid she is at those times because of the presence of iof quadcopters in the area. Sometimes she is able to come by internet connection at night from someone with some solar cells nearby her tent now that running electricity has become so hard to come by in gaza, but she has to pay a high fee to get it from them, dipping into the meagre funds her family has saved for food and water instead.

Every single message that reaches us from gaza comes with a sacrifice we can't even begin to understand.

The cost she has to pay both literally and in terms of the dangers to her life to reach out to us are extremely high, but she still does it all because she is the sole provider for her family of seventeen right now– especially her little siblings Rafif and Masa, who are suffering from severe hepatitis right now and urgently need to get out of gaza so that they can seek treatment in egypt; and her months old nephew who was born just weeks before the genocide began and has no access to baby food or diapers right now.

It GALLS me to see people try to call her a liar for being able to have an internet connection at ALL when i know just how hard she had to fight to get it.

Just because YOU are unable to imagine yourself in that situation when you are in your comfortable homes with an easily available connection, DOESN'T mean there aren't people who are willing to fight to be heard and get the help they deserve. And of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the struggle that comes with crowdfunding when you are in gaza.

Your “cynicism” comes from a place of privilege and doesn't help anyone. You are only insulting all the palestinians who work so hard every day to reach out to us, all so some truly heartless people can call them bots or scams for being able to reach out to anyone at all.

WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. SHAHED HAS TO REACH 80K WITHIN THIS WEEK TO EVACUATE HER WHOLE FAMILY.

WE HAVE ONLY JUST CRACKED 68K/80K, AND THERE IS STILL A LONG WAY TO GO.

Please donate to and share Shahed's fundraiser as widely as possible. Take it to your whatsapp groups, to your discord servers, your instagram stories. Repost her story and her photography, repost the link to the raffle at @journalsforpalestine wherever you have reach because there is only so much i can do with the deadline looming so close to us.

This CANNOT wait. You've gotten her this far, let's get her through this last stretch too.

[stay-pos-cos]

I want more people to know that while the Palestine Olympic team consists of only 8 athletes, at least 69 Palestinian Olympic athletes have been killed since October 2023. This includes athletes who were going to compete in these games and retired athletes such as Majed Abu Maraheel, the first Palestinian Olympian, who died of kidney failure in a refugee camp product of lack of medical treatment.

Remember them during these games.

[stay-pos-cos]

I am not my father.

We have the same face, or so I've been told. Over and over again until I wondered if anything about me was my own.

I carry his anger, at the world, at himself myself, at the people who wrong those we love.

I feel the resistance that comes so naturally to him creep up my spine when I am faced with injustice.

I am not my father, I say into the mirror. I was raised with love, and kindness. But somehow so much of his pain is trapped in my heart and I dare not let it go.

I was his mother's second chance, her firstborn's firstborn.

And nothing can change that.

[stay-pos-cos]

It's been a year since my grandmother died, in a hospital on a different shore.

My father and his brothers gathered to say their goodbyes, only to find that there was nothing to say.

She hurt them, they loved her, what else is there?

It's been a year since my grandmother died, and tonight was the first time I've cried.

I loved her, she hurt me, what else is there?