#related to a person I want to forget with my entire existence

[i-secretly-wanna-kms]

Today is a dreaded day…

[connormoving]

tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

[ceilidhtransing]

I've cropped out the username because I have absolutely no desire to start drama or make a personal “callout” or have people go harass someone or anything like that (and if you take this kind of thing as an opportunity to go and be horrible to another Tumblr user then that is terrible and you should stop), but wow, I have never seen such a clanging example of amatonormativity. I don't think OP necessarily meant it this way, I don't think they meant any harm, I don't think they're consciously arophobic or something - it's far more likely that they're simply unfamiliar with aspec issues, and I always prefer to assume good faith - but I want to talk about this post anyway because it provides a really good and explicit example of the way society just sort of... asserts the centrality of romantic attraction and entirely forgets aromantic people exist.

I do want to first say that I actually agree with the initial point this post is making. Romance as a genre is unfairly derided as some kind of “lesser” form of art, and this derision very frequently comes with generous helpings of misogyny. I totally agree that romance is not at all an unintellectual or superficial thing to write about, and it's bad that it gets treated that way and that readers and writers of romance get so often mocked and condemned. Romance is a totally valid genre and enjoying it doesn't make you vain or stupid or superficial.

HOWEVER. As an aromantic person I find the rest of the post just... I don't know, it's just so perfect as a probably unwitting expression of baked-in cultural amatonormativity. It's brilliant. It's so funny to me. I can almost do a line-by-line breakdown of the way it so completely forgets the existence of aromantic people. In fact, let's do that.

It is so fundamental to us. The issue here should be pretty obvious. The assumption that romance is some integral part of The Human Experience and that it's fundamental to All People is pretty much amatonormativity 101. It reinforces the idea that people who don't experience romantic attraction are “lacking”, forever sitting apart from The Human Experience, and possibly in some way not quite fully human, since we don't experience the thing that is apparently so fundamental to humans.

To want to love and be loved. The post seems to be incorrectly equating “romance” with “loving and being loved”, when in fact there are many people who don't experience romantic attraction yet absolutely love and want to be loved. (And of course loveless aros, aplatonic people, various folks who don't “want to love and be loved” also exist, and it's important to emphasise that this desire, just like romantic attraction, is also not necessarily integral to all people.) “Love” is not automatically “romantic love”, but this post seems to imply that romance is the only, or default, form in which love can exist.

If you don't think every great work of literature. philosophy. metaphysics. was ultimately about romance. I don't think you were paying enough attention. OK this is the line that elevated this post from “sigh, more casual amatonormativity to scroll past” to “I just have to respond to this”. Where to even begin with this assertion. This is a level of “assuming romance is central to everything humans ever do and ever create” that I've almost never encountered before. It feels like a manifestation of the tendency for alloromantic people to declare that, because romance is very central for them, it is thus central to Everything. And I'm homing in on “romance” because the post doesn't say “ultimately about love” - which would still be a reach, but less of a reach - it specifically says “ultimately about romance”. As an aromantic person who is an academic at heart and highly educated in the humanities and social sciences, the idea that my ability to understand literature and philosophy and metaphysics is somehow greatly hampered by the fact that I don't experience or relate to romantic attraction is just... what??? This idea is really very funny to me but also genuinely pretty insulting, even though I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. Not only does it feel like the summation of every patronising “oh, you couldn't possibly understand” directed to aromantic adults who are, in fact, entirely capable of understanding, but it also flattens the incredible breadth of human intellectual experience into “being about romance”. I sometimes find myself wishing that alloromantic people would peak outside the bubble of amatonormativity and realise that actually, there is an enormous swathe of human experience and intellect and creativity and expression that has nothing at all to do with romantic attraction and romantic relationships. And no, stating that, I don't know, the Book of Job is not actually about romance has nothing to do with our society's misogynistic denigration of romance as a genre; it has everything to do with the fact that the Book of Job is not actually about romance. (And if you aren't familiar with Job or for some reason don't consider it a “great work of literature”, replace with whatever other example you can think of; there are many.) It's insulting to imply that aro-spec and/or ace-spec people are somehow less able to participate in art and literature and philosophy etc because we might bring a perspective that doesn't include romance or sex at all and we're just not capable of understanding that Actually Romance And/Or Sex Is Central To Everything. It's genuinely absurd to argue that all the pinnacles of human intellectual achievement really, at their core, come back to romance, and it speaks to our very blinkered society's tendency to declare things like “everything is really about sex” or “everything is really about romance” or “everything is really about breakups” or whatever and then look at aro-spec and ace-spec people like we're aliens and go “but like... how do you even live?” Newsflash, there is so much more to life than romance and love and sex. You can live an entire, very fulfilling, very meaningful, very thoughtful life without these things being at all relevant to you. That's not to dismiss those things as minor or unimportant - they are indeed very central to a lot of people's lives, and they're not “dumb” or “shallow” or whatever - but they're not central to everyone's lives, and they're hardly The Only Things In The World.

And if your response is something along the lines of “well OK there's a tiny minority of people who don't engage with romance and/or sex, or relate to it in the same way most people do, but that doesn't mean that romance isn't still at the core of humanity, or that all the most important things don't still have romance at their heart”, imagine telling a woman that “well, you can focus on a career if you want, but what's really fundamental to being a woman is being a wife and mother - in fact, motherhood is the most important thing in the world, it's fundamental to women, it's what all women's literature is about”. Or, hell, telling a person of any gender that “parenthood” is the central pillar of all of humanity and that every great work of art ever produced is ultimately about parenthood and obviously parenthood is fundamental to everyone's being - forgetting that actually some people will never be parents, and implying that their childlessness makes them less able to understand The Human Experience. That might give you some small idea of what it's like to be an aspec person and be repeatedly told that feelings you don't experience and relationships you don't have and attractions you don't relate to and acts you don't engage in are somehow Fundamental To Humanity and are what lie at The Core Of Everything: how excluding that is, how alienating that is, how oppressively stifling that is.

Feeling that love and/or romance and/or sex are very important to your own life is totally valid, but I wish alloromantics and allosexuals could be more capable of opening their minds and imagining and empathising with an existence for which these things aren't central. Our lives aren't lesser, or emptier, or sadder, or shallower for lack of romance or sex. Our experiences are part of The Human Experience. Our perspectives on art and life and relationships and philosophy and humanity and everything else are just as valid. We are just as capable of profundity, of creativity, of insight - because romance and sex aren't “at the core” of any of these things. We are here, and we're tired of being forgotten, ignored, sidelined, dismissed, erased, talked over, talked past. It would be great if society at large actually remembered we exist once in a while, and that our lives are just as beautiful and important as anyone else's.

[jburrgf]

About You I — The Love Trope Series.

“Do you think I have forgotten about you?”

◦pairing: ¡lsu! joe burrow x ¡ex situashionship! reader

◦summary: second change trope, college relationships, slow burn love, right person wrong time.

◦description: you and joe had a thing months before, but the things ended in a bad way. now, you see yourself stuck in something that requires you to be close to him every single day.

◦playlist: About You - The 1975, Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Golding, Like Real People Do - Hoozier, I Bet You Think About Me - Taylor Swift, Called You Again - Lizzy McAlpine, Tolerate It, ImGonnaGetYouBack, Clean - Taylor Swift

PART ONE: CLEAN.

There are certain moments in life that seem impossible to forget. The second I walked onto LSU’s campus, I knew my life was about to change. But not just because of the classes, the social scene, or the crazy football culture.

When I started in LSU, it was supposed to be a clean slate. A chance to focus on my career path and prove to myself that I could thrive in a bigger pond, surrounded by people just as driven as me. Advertising and Public Relations wasn’t just a degree—it was a strategy. A way to blend my creative instincts with a business-minded edge.

What I didn’t expect was LSU’s football program to be the centerpiece of everything.

LSU football wasn’t just a sport. It was culture, identity, and religion rolled into one. By my second semester, I was interning with the athletic department, brainstorming marketing campaigns and filming promos for the team. I was good at what I did—so good that I convinced myself it didn’t bother me when my work bled into my personal life.

Everything started to go wrong when I met him. Tall, blond, American aesthetic, and so, but so kind. That was Joe Burrow, the youngest transferred from Ohio State to the south. New just like me.

Joe was Joe —calm, collected, and infuriatingly charming. He wasn’t flashy like some of the other players, but the air shifted when he walked into a room. Everyone noticed him. And the first time we crossed paths, I did too.

We met my junior year at a party, back when he was just Joe—a talented quarterback with a quiet intensity and a way of looking at you like he could see straight through every mask you’d ever worn. I hadn’t planned on noticing him, but it was impossible not to.

And since then, I'm haunted by his face, his smile, his smell, his body. Every little thing that made him Joe, it was inside my head like a bad song that you can’t stop singing. I didn’t want that, not in the beginning.

And now, I'm running from him like the plague. Every place he might be, I'm not going. Every little encounter or party, or dinner, or what else, I wasn’t going.

It was a party I didn’t want to go to. Maddie had been bothering me for weeks to go to this party, and honestly, I didn't feel like going. Simply no desire.

"I'm serious, Y/N. You work too hard," Maddie, my best friend at LSU, said to me. We had just left one of our classes together, and were walking around the campus, heading towards Maddie's car. "You're missing the entire college experience."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m here to build my career, not get drunk at frat houses.”

“Even Beyoncé has to relax,” she shot back. “I’m picking you up at eight, tomorro, no excuses. But now, we’re going to Malone’s.”

[…]

I didn’t want to be here.

Malone’s was Maddie’s favorite spot, a college-town bar where everyone gathered on weekends to drink, laugh, and pretend their responsibilities didn’t exist. It was the kind of place where the sticky floors were part of the charm, and you couldn’t walk two feet without bumping into someone you knew. Normally, I’d avoid it like the plague—especially on a night like tonight, when Maddie’s sole mission was to convince me to go to that stupid party tomorrow.

“You’re being dramatic,” Maddie said as I slid into the booth across from her, the sound of the bar’s chatter and faint music drowning out half her words. “It’s just one party. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I rolled my eyes, pulling my coat tighter around me despite the warmth of the bar. “You say that like you don’t know me. I don’t do frat parties, Maddie. I don’t want to spend my Saturday night elbow-to-elbow with drunk people I barely know.”

“That’s the fun of it,” she countered, her grin far too smug for my liking.

“You’re impossible,” I muttered, reaching for the drink she’d already ordered for me.

“I’m persistent,” she corrected. “And don’t think I didn't notice that you didn’t actually say no.”

I groaned, leaning back in the booth. Maddie had been trying to drag me to this party for days, claiming it was some can’t-miss event that would somehow make my life infinitely better. I wasn’t convinced, but I’d stopped arguing because, frankly, I didn’t have the energy.

I was checking on the bar from above my shoulders when It happened.

Joe Burrow.

The last person I ever expected to see here, especially tonight.

My chest tightened the moment I spotted him standing by the dartboard, his tall frame impossible to miss, his blond hair was slightly disheveled, and the faint scruff on his jaw made him look older than he had when we’d last spoken. Joe was dressed casually, jeans and a hoodie, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world, and was laughing at something one of his friends said, the sound cutting through the low hum of the bar like a knife.It wasn’t just the way he carried himself or the fact that he was Joe Burrow—LSU’s star quarterback—but the way my body reacted, as if it had its own memory of him.

I hadn’t seen him in months—not since we’d ended things without really ending them. And now, seeing him here, so casually present in my space, felt like a slap to the face. Work Out from J Cole was playing, and everything felt like a movie scene.

It wasn’t like we had history. At least not in the way most people assumed. We barely knew each other. But there had been that one night at a party a while back, and another one after a game, and another one at our friends house, and another one… and the tension between us had never fully died down. I could still remember the way his eyes had felt on me, like he was measuring me in some silent way I didn’t know how to interpret.

“Y/N.” Maddie’s voice snapped me out of my daze. She followed my line of sight and groaned. “Oh no.”

I shook my head, panic setting in. “I can’t do this.”

“You don’t even know if he saw you.”

“I’m not sticking around to find out,” I said, already sliding out of the booth.

“Y/N—”

But I was gone, weaving through the crowd toward the back hallway where the bathrooms were. I needed to breathe, to get away from the overwhelming weight of his presence.

The bathroom at Malone’s was about as glamorous as you’d expect—a narrow space with flickering fluorescent lights and graffiti scrawled across the stalls. I locked myself in one of the stalls, leaning back against the door as I tried to steady my breathing.

Of all the places to run into Joe, it had to be here.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about him. I had—more than I cared to admit. But thinking about him was one thing. Seeing him, knowing he was just a few feet away, was something else entirely.

I couldn’t face him. Not now, not here.

The bathroom was quiet, the kind of eerie stillness that felt out of place in the chaos of Malone’s. I leaned against the sink, staring at my reflection in the smudged mirror.

“Get it together,” I whispered to myself, taking a deep breath.

I didn’t even know why I was reacting like this. It wasn’t like we were still together. We weren’t anything anymore. And yet, the sight of him had thrown me completely off balance, dredging up feelings I thought I’d buried a long time ago.

But I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever, either.

I opened the bathroom door and nearly walked straight into him.

Joe was leaning against the wall opposite the bathroom, his arms crossed over his chest and his gaze fixed squarely on me.

I froze, my heart hammering in my chest.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low and steady, a hint of amusement curling at the edges.

Nope.

Without a second thought, I ducked back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and I bit my lip to keep from screaming. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I paced the small space, my mind racing. He’d seen me, which meant he was waiting for me. I couldn’t hide in here forever, but the thought of facing him felt impossible.

Eventually, I forced myself to take a deep breath and opened the door again.

Joe was gone.

Relief flooded through me as I stepped out into the hallway, my eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of him. But instead of Joe, my attention was drawn to a small slip of paper pinned to the corkboard on the wall next to the bathroom.

It wasn’t there before.

Curious, I stepped closer and pulled it free. The handwriting was unmistakable—slanted and bold, with a certain sharpness to the letters that felt uniquely him.

“Go to the party tomorrow. Please.”

I stared at the note, my heart pounding for an entirely different reason now.

My fingers tightened around the paper as Maddie appeared at the end of the hallway, her eyes wide with curiosity.

“What’s that?” she asked, gesturing to the note.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, shoving it into my pocket.

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t push. “Ready to head back? I don’t think Joe’s here anymore.”

I nodded, though my mind was miles away.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I would go. Maybe I wouldn’t.

But one thing was for sure: Joe Burrow had just made sure I wouldn’t forget this night.

——————————————

part 2: About You II (The Love Trope Series) — All Over Me.

hey guys! this is the beginning of my Love Tropes Series. The first part, About You, it’s going to be launched in four parts! stay tuned :)

[muletia]

Need to cum in obsessed!Orion so much u can hear it sloshing around in his forge. I want him to walk happily into the base and everybot to hear what I did to him. My precious cute boy<33 I want to make u full n dumb with the idea of carrying my sparklings ^^

anons as always being relatable because GOD DAMN THIS IS HOT AND WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO DO THIS TO HIM

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

headcanons

cw: valveplug, dom!reader, sub!orion, creampie, breeding kink, overstimulation

word count: 400

Orion is wonderful in the sense that you can do whatever you please with him, and he’ll still thank you for it, because attention from you is sacred to him, and he intends to savor it like the finest energon. The only issue is that once you spoil him and an idea firmly takes root in his processor, Orion forgets how to hit the brakes. Or worse, he gets rid of them entirely.

By turning him into your personal cum tank, you’re introducing him to a new narrative path — one he’ll want to repeat endlessly. Especially once he accepts that being sparked is essential to his existence and starts dreaming of carrying a sparkling within him. And since he’s a yapper who won’t stop talking during interfacing, you’ll hear about it constantly; deep in subspace, he’ll even start telling you what your future sparklings will look like and that they’ll surely have your eyes. How sweet. It’s just a shame you can’t understand a word he’s saying because after a while, the only sound escaping his mouth is incomprehensible, garbled nonsense.

I think he’d even start urging you to fill him with as much cum as possible. Until he can physically see how much he’s taken in and hear the sound of your fluids moving inside him, ready to create new life. And he’s so heartbroken when he can’t hold it all, when the mixture of his transfluid and your juices spills out of him because his valve is already overflowing. He’d probably cry over it, devastated by the thought that what he couldn’t keep inside might have been the key to creating your sparklings. He’d even try to push it back in, even though his valve is completely wrecked, swollen, and overstimulated, with every touch only riling him up further.

And afterward, after the entire process of aftercare, when the high has worn off and he’s ready to return to his comrades, he’d dare to tenderly caress his abdomen, content with the feeling of fullness, warmth, and being stuffed with your love, patiently waiting for your sparkling to come into existence <3. (Did I mention he’s delusional?)

Then, of course, it turns out you’ve stuffed him to his absolute limit because one of his teammates eventually points out that he’s fucking leaking from the interface panel… and it ain't pure transfluid...

[imagowrites]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist

Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.

An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.

Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.

The Beginning

At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.

Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:

How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?

Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?

Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?

Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?

Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow

Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.

Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".

The Pearl in The Bottle

So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?

What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence

A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.

What's Wrong With the Guards?

Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?

Paul McCartney

This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.

Salazar

I am confused. Once again, I have questions.

El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?

The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?

Poseidon or Calypso?

What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.

The Compass

This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.

That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.

So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.

That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate

Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.

Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.

Justice for Hector Barbossa

If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".

So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.

Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.

I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.

How does Carina Smyth exist?

Let's do the maths. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.

When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;

it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.

The Post-Credit Scene: What?

WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.

My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.

Imago

[cobaltperun]

Darkest Part (2) - Narcissistic Cannibal

Astrid Deetz x female Reader

Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isn’t a single thing you’d like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just can’t stay away from her.

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Word count: 3.9k

-And you're so cynical, narcissistic cannibal-

Of all the ridiculously asinine things that could have ever happened to you, of all the ways your day, no, forget day, your entire week could go wrong, it just had to be related to the one person you despised. And it was such a nice day as well, sunny, warm, but not hot, pleasant breeze, perfect for doing anything you wanted, but no, no, you just had to spend it with her.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this with you,” the chihuahua said through gritted teeth. Even like that her voice just got on your nerves, all soft and tender and pleasant to the ear. If only it didn’t belong to someone like her.

“I’d agree with you, but that would just make me sick,” you spat, packing the promotional material that would be used for Delia’s day long art workshop at Astrid’s high school. Perks of donating a whole damn building to the school!

Astrid glared at you as she wrapped the figures Delia was going to bring along. It was Delia’s brilliant idea, to basically force her granddaughter to help through her and Lydia’s influence over the principal. And you had to admit, she hated being here for more than one reason. Which made you feel a bit better, because you hated being here for only one reason, that reason being the girl on the other side of the room. So, by some ridiculous logic you had it better, since you had fewer reasons to hate being here. “Wouldn’t that make my day,” she said under her breath, without a hint of remorse.

“Right back at you,” you didn’t even try to whisper it, no, you made it clear you heard her and wished the same thing upon her.

“Being sick would make your day? Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” she actually smirked at you as you blinked, rewinding the last exchange and closing your eyes.

Fuck!

“I didn’t- that’s not- ah, fuck this,” you cursed, giving up arguing about this. She was so freakishly smart you figured you’d just be wasting your breath arguing about it.

Astrid had that ridiculous, satisfied grin on her damn face and you just, you just threw your hands up in the air. She got you there. And you hated the feeling, you hated it so much you nearly got into an argument with her just for the sake of your pride. Only to remember she’d likely throw an entire thesaurus at you and confuse you because that was just what she did!

Somehow you figured it was worth it.

You firmly believed there were some things that were just plain and simply true, and one of those things was that you and Astrid Deetz could never, under any circumstances, peacefully coexist. Everything between you was too volatile, too prone to explosive arguments or constant negativity.

Right at that moment the door opened, preventing you from restarting the argument, and Delia bounced in, all pumped and happy, and almost too pleased. Those rarely ended well for you if you were being honest. “Astrid! How nice to see you came to help me!” oh, this woman was either the most oblivious, self-centered woman you’ve ever met, or she just loved pushing everyone’s buttons. You’ve been working for her for some time now, and that was still the unsolvable mystery.

“You could have at least spared me from working with her, but no, it’s not enough that I have to be here,” Astrid complained with a deep scowl on her face, the previous satisfaction long forgotten. She didn’t even pause packing the figures to greet the woman.

“We apologize, your majesty, for keeping you away from your important business,” you mocked, only to be met with a fierce glare. Astrid most definitely glared at you, a lot, but never like this, never with this much intensity and anger.

She opened her mouth and then very obviously changed her mind, dropping her gaze and focusing on the task in front of her. “Not like you’d care,” she muttered under her breath. “Either of you.”

Delia, who was getting her mug, clearly heard that. “There’s a climate change conference coming up in a few months and Astrid here is heavily involved in preparations, some of which happen to be today,” you abruptly turned when Delia said that and then turned toward Astrid, who now had an even deeper scowl on her face.

You frowned, perhaps for the first time properly looking at the girl. You very passionately hated her, so you rarely took notice of the little details, but you could see her lower lip, slightly swollen from chewing on it, probably since she was so frustrated and angry. You saw some blisters on her palms, and the way she winced, they were probably caused by the tree planting you attended a few days ago. You hated her, but you didn’t hate her that much. “Go bark orders at someone else chihuahua, I’ll wrap this up,” you still didn’t have it in you to openly tell her to go and do what she cares about.

She froze, looking at you with unconcealed mistrust and disbelief, as if you just grew a couple of heads on your back and torso. That’s how bizarre you were in her eyes right now. She studied you, not saying a word, or even moving. How could she be so still?! It was unsettling! And her gaze was way too intense! “Tch, barnacle,” she scoffed but still grabbed her things and rushed outside.

“Forget chihuahua, she’s a whole damn zoo…” you could feel your eye was twitching as you watched the closed door. Were you expecting a thank you? No, not really. This was Astrid Deetz after all. You still expected something more decent than an insult!

“You do know this is a job for two people and that now you’ll be working overtime, right?” Delia asked as if she was asking about the weather, and not if you knew you were in for a long day. And you knew, of course you fucking knew.

You just, well you were passionate about climate change as well, and even you could tell Astrid cared about it. It was for the greater good! Nothing else. “I’ll get it done,” you sighed, doubling your efforts to at least try and get it done in reasonable time.

“Hugging trees won’t do much though,” Delia commented as she finished making her coffee, more to herself, than to you. “The sooner she focuses of something else, the better for her,” that was something you noticed about Delia. She was fairly supportive of green architecture, figuring it was a good thing to be interested in, blending the good intentions and profitable career together. She disagreed with Astrid’s approach, strongly believing that if Astrid didn’t come from a rich family, she wouldn’t be able to be so idealistic about her activism.

You closed the box and carried it to the side before grabbing a sticker and writing ‘promo material’ on it. “She’s a chihuahua,” you slapped the sticker onto the box and said, just like you did when Delia first told you her opinion on Astrid’s climate change activism.

Delia laughed, long, loud and genuine laughter filled the room as she sat at her laptop. “Or you could just for once admit that you have a tiny soft spot for my granddaughter and firmly believe that she is so stubborn she would still be doing this even if she wasn’t rich enough to not work a day in her life and had to life off of tree hugging salary,” she spoke complete and utter nonsense. The most ridiculous, outrageous, misinterpretation of your words.

“Bullshit, respectfully, bullshit,” you denied it, having no idea how anyone could see anything but hatred between you and that chihuahua. Tiny soft spot? Ridiculous! The only soft spot you had for anything related to Astrid was reserved for her mother who had the misfortune of having Astrid for daughter.

Nothing else!

Not now!

Not ever!

~X~

You were hunched over a small empty table in the library, shading your latest drawing with utmost focus. It was a detailed drawing of the Colosseum, and it was a fairly good drawing if you could say so yourself. Summer vacation would soon end, and you that meant one thing! You would soon be free from the chihuahua! Hopefully by the time she comes back or comes to visit her grandparents you’d be gone, never to see her again!

“Oh, I’m going to celebrate when she leaves,” you actually giggled, you felt giddy at the mere thought of never seeing Astrid Deetz again.

“You sound like you won the lottery,” Alex sighed, genuinely puzzled by your excitement over Astrid leaving. You, on the other hand, disagreed with him, you didn’t sound like you won the lottery, you were fairly sure you if someone offered winning the lottery and never seeing the damn chihuahua again you’d take never seeing her again.

A dumb choice, backed merely by the reasoning that no one would ever make you choose between the two, but still, that’s why you could so casually say it.

Alex though. He was blind. Blinded by her… something you wouldn’t even dare to think about.

“I’m not blinded by her beauty, by the way,” he pointed out, as if reading your thoughts, and you, as startled as you were, flinched, your hand pressing down, causing you to pierce the paper with your pencil and tear through it. “Shit, I’m sorry about that, Y/N,” Alex quickly apologized when he noticed the drawing was ruined.

You watched the torn paper for a few seconds, mind completely blank, as if you couldn’t properly process what happened to hours of work in mere seconds. “I was just practicing anyway,” you sighed, tossing the drawing into the trach can before patting your guilt-stricken friend on the back. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just take a ten-minute break to stretch a bit.”

“Sure,” but he still looked at the drawing on top of the trash.

You knew you’d need to cheer him up, but first you really needed to go into the storage and stretch a bit, you’ve been sitting for hours. The storage room was big, as every library storage room should be, you kept spare copies, some books that were more difficult to come by, and things like that there, and there was still plenty of space to just stretch a bit, do a couple of exercises and walk, just to get the blood pumping. So, you did just that, bouncing lightly on your feet followed by a couple of basic stretching exercises.

“There, that feels better,” you muttered to yourself, feeling the tension in your muscles somewhat fading.

When you came back you saw her… the one indirectly responsible for the mistake you made. Standing here, talking to Alex, all angry? At Alex? Since when did that happen?

“She’s so…” Astrid seemed to be trembling with rage as she glared at some piece of paper in her hand. You doubted she got that enraged at anyone but you.

“I’m so what?” you walked back out and she looked back, about as startled as you were when Alex basically called her beautiful. Her cheeks turned red from the anger, and she shoved the paper into her bag.

“Vexatious!” she actually yelled and stormed out of the library.

“Another word to Google?” Alex snickered like the troublemaker he was. Whatever happened while you were on a break lifted his spirits and it looked like he was no longer grieving over your drawing.

You sat down and glared, you wanted to know what he did or said to cause that kind of reaction, but you would rather be locked in a room with that chihuahua than ask him. You still Googled the stupid word Astrid threw at you. “Tch,” you cold feel your eye twitching; she just called you annoying.

~X~

Annoying. Pain in her ass. The most frustrating person she ever met. The only person in the world that infuriated her more than her own mother, and a year ago she would have thought that was impossible!

And, as much as she despised admitting, a damn good artist.

Astrid stared at the slightly torn drawing, hating herself for noticing it. She went to throw her coffee cup into the can, and there it was. A detailed, drawn entirely by pencil and perfectly shaded, drawing of the Colosseum, just lying there. She was drawn to it, drawn to the precise lines, the chosen perspective gave the historical building a larger than life feel to it, and the lighting only enhanced that feeling.

She wanted to see more of them. More of the works whoever drew this made. She wanted to talk to them, find out what inspired them to draw this.

And then Alex made her desires shrivel up and die.

It was you.

Of course it was you.

"Barnacle," she muttered, now cursing you for ruining something like this with a moment of carelessness. Astrid leaned back on her chair, for a moment glancing at the framed photo of her and her dad, her most treasured possession. She looked so happy back then, they had so many plans, yet they never got the chance. He would have told her to do as her heart demands, and she hated what her heart was demanding right now. She carefully flipped the drawing and taped it together, making sure the tear wasn't visible.

You just... annoyed her so much she couldn't stand it.

~X~

When you came to work at the library tomorrow you saw your drawing on the table. Fixed.

"What the?" you looked at Alex, confused, hoping maybe he had an explanation.

"Your chihuahua," was all he said, and you just stared blankly at the fixed drawing. "And she knew it was yours, by the way," Alex had a shit eating grin on his face as your trembling fingers picked up the drawing.

Why couldn't your fingers stop trembling?

She just... she fixed it. You could see how much care she put into lining the paper up, making sure the tear was as concealed as possible. "What the fuck? The fuck did she do this for?" you asked, bewildered by her decision to do this knowing the drawing belonged to you. Hell, if anyone asked you ten minutes ago you would have willing to bet anything on her actually tearing it apart.

Okay, maybe that was harsh of you. But you were certain she wouldn't care about it, wouldn't even spare a glance. Yet she fixed it! "I need to thank her," the words you spoke felt foreign, your throat dry, it all felt surreal.

Alex had this look in his eyes, like he was sorry for something. "Tough luck buddy, she went back to school, she's gone."

Fuck! Where were cliche tropes of catching someone just before they leave when you needed them the most?!

~X~

Months passed since that day, since Astrid left for another year at her private boarding school. Your life returned to the way it was before you met her, same old routine, two jobs, art classes, taking care of your mother. You still didn’t dare to go to college, to take the chance without any safety net. You were nervous, worried that you weren’t good enough, that you’d try, end up being disappointed and you just couldn’t risk it. Not yet.

 You’ve been working overtime due to Delia’s newest idea, the human canvas, honestly you were looking forward to resting, since Delia promised a whole week off after everything was finished. After all, you did hell of a job with the logistics and promotion and all the technical stuff.

Delia was currently standing half a dozen feet away from you, getting ready for the next performance when her phone rang. Nothing new there, you were used to it and mostly tuned her out as she spoke on the phone.

“What?!” she screamed making you jump and turn to her, startled. It sounded like someone just published a harsh criticism of her work, but a single look at her face going as white as a sheet made it clear it was much, much worse. “No,” she swayed on her feet and you quickly set the pen you’ve been holding down and caught her just as she lost her balance and crumbled into your arms.

“Shit!” you failed to properly catch her and couldn’t get a firm grip on her, forcing you to lower her down to the floor and hold her up like that.

"Charles!" Delia screamed, loud, heartbroken, shattered by the news, and you didn't need confirmation to know what had happened. She dropped her phone and you just barely managed to catch it as she grabbed onto your shoulder and cried, her manicured nails digging through your shirt and making you wince as she bawled.

You let her hold onto you, silent as she cried, screaming for her husband and staining your shirt with tears and mascara. You didn’t know Charles all that well, having mostly worked with Delia, but you were sorry he was gone.

“He left me!” she shouted and you froze, looking down at the woman that was still crying.

“Left? Like a divorce?” you asked, now not quite sure if you got things mixed up. Wouldn’t be the first time it happened with Delia.

Delia stopped crying and pulled away from you. “That would be even worse! No, he’s dead, got killed by a shark,” she said it so casually.

“That would be even worse?” you couldn’t help it, you repeated her sentence, baffled as she screamed her late husband’s name once more. Him leaving would have been even worse? How? You just sighed, not even trying to wrap your head around this, seeing as thinking about it for too long might cause you to come to certain conclusions.

“Get ready, Y/N, we’re going to Winter River, we’ll be there for a few weeks!” Delia abruptly decided and you whipped your head in her direction.

“WHAT?!” surely she didn’t just ask that of you. You had another job here! A mother that needed to be taken care of!

Somehow she considerably calmed down, and much quicker than you anticipated. “You won’t leave a grieving widow to manage all of that herself, right?” oh, oh she was great at this emotional manipulation, and you were falling for it like a sucker. You went to speak, to reject this. You were her assistant for her art projects, not for funeral arrangements, especially if it meant leaving behind everything else for weeks to do it.

But she did just lose her husband… and she wasn’t a bad boss, just kind of self-centered most of the time. “One week, not a day more,” you offered, firm, unmoving, standing your ground. “Mom needs me,” you said before she could counter and demand more from you.

Delia thought it over and then, miraculously, nodded. “Good enough,” that actually surprised you and you watched her as she took her phone, likely to contact Lydia. “Go get days off, we’re leaving today.”

“Yes ma’am,” you nodded, already thinking of ways to get days off on an extremely short notice. And then a single thought popped into your head. You’d have to spend a week not only with Delia and Lydia, but Rory and Astrid as well!

“Fuck!” you cursed as you stepped outside, already dreading the upcoming disaster of a week ahead of you. As if Astrid wasn’t enough now you had to deal with Lydia’s manipulative boyfriend and all you could really hope for at this point was that you could ignore them.

~X~

The drive to Astrid’s high school was less of a torture than you anticipated. Rory mostly ignored you, like he usually did, and somehow he wasn’t a complete insufferable asshole. He was uncharacteristically silent, well, other than the bit about losing his grandfather 40 years ago. That was… classic Rory actually.

What you weren’t prepared for was Delia deciding to tell Astrid the news herself, when the grumpy chihuahua refused to answer Lydia’s calls. You watched from the back seat, horrified when Delia walked up, not to the front door, but to the side of the building where you guessed Astrid’s room was.

“Astrid!” your eyes widened, and you actually couldn’t believe what was going on as Delia screamed Astrid’s name at the top of her lungs.

“Oh, no,” Lydia whispered, shaking her head in disbelief as she watched the disaster unfold.

“Stop torturing your mother!” Delia yelled and you actually felt sorry for Astrid, you felt a real, genuine, empathy for the girl because the scene unfolding in front of your eyes was downright humiliating. Astrid looking down at Delia from her window while dozens of students looked on either from their own windows or from where they were in the front yard of the dormitory.

“Your mommy lost her daddy! You lost your grandpa! And I lost my…” Delia paused and you bit your tongue, hoping, despite knowing the woman, that she would just say her husband or something. “…horny handyman, Charles.”

No…

No!

She did not just say it like that!

“I’m so sorry chihuahua,” you whispered under your breath, just quiet enough for it not to be heard by anyone as Delia screamed Charles’ name once more.

~X~

Ten minutes later you were with Rory in the car as Lydia went to join Delia and Astrid outside and you found yourself looking at the girl. There she was, the menace. The bane of your existence. The very girl you despised more than anyone else in the world and who despised you just as much. Truly you were forced to admit that such mutual hatred was hard to come by. And here you thought her fixing your drawing would make those feelings fade a bit, but now that you were looking at her again you figured you were wrong.

You still despised the girl, and the random act of kindness did little to change that.

“There she is, the morbid freak,” Rory muttered under his breath. He definitely didn’t like Astrid, being the manipulator that was taking advantage of Lydia and knowing Astrid saw right through him must have infuriated him.

“Shut it,” you punched the back of his seat with enough force to make him wince and turn to look at you.

That sick, manipulative smile on his face was back. “Come on, Y/N, you hate her, don’t go complaining about me saying what you think,” he tried to appeal to you, to get you to agree with him just to get that sense of power and control. Your feelings for the youngest Deetz were your own, non-reliant on the way other people viewed her. You had personal reasons for disliking Astrid, and you had no desire to fuel his narcissistic tendencies. Not to mention, as much as you disliked Astrid there was something about his word choice that you couldn’t get behind.

And agreeing with Rory and giving him what he wanted would just make you feel sick, so that was yet another reason not to agree. “Only I get to insult that chihuahua, also, she is not a morbid freak,” you paused. “Okay, just freak. She is not a freak. She is morbid, but not a freak,” you corrected as you glared at the man. You might actually hate him more than you hated Astrid, and that was hell of an accomplishment.

Taglist: @alexkolax @osnapitzmel1 @bee-keeping @nebthetautora @lololauser

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@the-thing-withfeathers @hello-mtf @leafanonsforest

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[calamityjimao3]

Writing Advice 7-Don't fill in the blanks

Ever watch a horror movie and get down to the end and then BAM the monster is on screen for the first time and now we’re all feeling let down? Well this is an elementary writing error that artsy people like to forget because they make story telling about their vision, not the collective experience. Don’t show the monster. This is something I learned in a high school English class. We read the Pit and the Pendulum by Edgar Allen Poe and, spoiler alert for a story that is over 100 years old, we never find out what was in the pit. We are told that it is horrible, the most horrible thing we can think of, and we are left with that. Now my teacher went around and had us write down what we thought was in the pit, quietly and without collaboration, and we passed our guesses to him and he went and read through them aloud. One person thought it was a pit of snakes. Someone else thought it was a pit of lava. The guy who freaked the teacher out the most thought it was a rotating cheese grater. So the point? We all wrote down the thing that scared us the most. Poe’s story was fuelled by our imagination and our fears and that is where he really reached the audience. He let us build the setting and never said we were wrong, allowing the entire audience to take the journey. So when you set up a hidden monster in a horror movie and you show it, you are popping that bubble. I know what a monster that scares me would look like and it doesn’t look like that, so I’m not scared anymore and I am a little bummed by that. Now, this ALSO applies to other situations in stories. The monster is just the easiest one because if you are a horror fan you’ve had it happen. Another place you see where this is super common is character descriptions. Fanfiction this is a little less of a big deal because a lot of times you are borrowing characters that are already defined, but this is important for original characters. You don’t need to describe them. That isn’t saying you always shouldn’t, far from it, but it really depends on the why. You can use character descriptions to tell you more about the environment they are from, the culture they are from, the class and position they hold, etc. I like to be blunt about certain aspects of character description when I am explicitly representing a minority so people can’t whitewash my story or make everyone heteronormative.  But this is where it gets interesting. You can skimp on details. Let’s look at our good boy Tolkien and what we know about Legolas. Yes yes, he has long blond hair and blue eyes and pointy ears because that’s what Peter Jackson put in the movie so that must be true. Wrong. Tolkien gives us next to no physical details on Legolas. We know he’s an elf and that’s it. We don’t even know if elves have pointy ears. Tolkien never says. Without Jackson getting in there and mucking about everyone would have had a very individual and specific image as to what an elf, especially what Legolas specifically, looked like. We do have characterization. Legolas is silly and a little sassy, so it isn’t like we don’t know him. He’s not a mystery. We just don’t know what he looks like. And that is very intentional. It makes the character way more relatable and interesting. If I have an image of what Elf means to me I am going to slap it on Legolas so fast. Maybe I think he should have brown hair because he grew up amongst the forest elves and maybe it should be short so it doesn’t snag on trees (I am not getting into LOTR vs ROP lore lol). Maybe I like the character and have a bit of a crush on Legolas, so I insert my crush into this Legolas shaped hole in the story. Not saying Tolkien never described his characters but he refrained enough to really bring the audience along on the journey. When he did get specific he was doing so with the intention of creating a vibe or letting everyone else know his wife was the most beautiful person to have ever existed. 

So if you really want to have your audience create the world with you, give them hints, not descriptions. Sure, maybe she’s in rumpled clothes with frizzy hair. You don’t need to tell us hair color, or whether or not it is curly or just bushy. Maybe she is the most beautiful person in all the land, with her skin that positively glowed and her hair styled carefully. If you start getting into facial features you start describing what you think is beautiful or what the land thinks is beautiful, which is definitely going to be different than some readers. There is a tumblr post floating around how if snow white had red lips and pale skin and dark black hair she’d look like a vampire, despite that always being the way she’s described.

I think the best philosophical understanding of this is the taoist concept of the uncarved block. When you have a sculpting block that is untouched it has the possibility of being anything, but the moment you start cutting into it you start limiting what it could be. Descriptions are like that.

Of course you can’t abandon them completely. They are still important. I definitely need to know if your character has fangs that everyone can see. And there are going to be characters that as an author need to be described in full detail because that is so much of who they are. But skimping is not only fine but, when done deliberately, can really improve the relationship between the audience and the story. You just need to know that the mechanic exists and whether or not you want to lean into it.

So, this might be as clear as mud but I hoped I got the gist communicated.

[buggachat]

To be clear, I goddamn hated the finale on first watch. I was withering in my seat. My heart had dropped to my stomach. I had no fucking idea what I was watching in that final scene lmao

and then Adrien said "when Ladybug gave me the rings—" and I was like— wait. LADYBUG? LADYBUG STILL EXISTS?

I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE TIMELINE HAD BEEN REWRITTEN 😭😭😭😭 I THOUGHT LADYBUG AND CHATN OIR DIDNT UFCKING EXIST uNTIL ADRIEN SAID THAT I WAS SO SO SO SCARED

and then I realized, oh wait. This isn't a complete utopian timeline rewrite. This is just a timeskip of a few months and Mme Bustier is just a kickass mayor. In fact, she's only mayor BECAUSE it's still the same timeline. And then I realized, hey, wait, if they didn't rewrite the timeline, then how tf is Emilie casually there with no questions?

And then I realized she was wearing black. And Félix was there. And I remembered Amelie exists.

Basically, I went into the finale chanting to myself "it's okay, it's okay... they probably wont bring Emilie back... they probably won't rewrite the entire timeline permanently.... right? please....", even though I didn't actually expect it to happen, but just because I was terrified that it could. And apparently that fear actually got to me so much that I misinterpreted the episode as being everything I didn't want it to be... when... it actually wasn't that at all

anyway, all of this is to say, everything in the episode happens so fast that it confused and terrified me at first. And when I realized what had happened, my opinion went from "my year is ruined" to "oh. well. okay. kind of disappointing, I guess". And then I kept thinking about it, and the ending, and all that is set up and rewatching the scenes and all the loose ends still in place and.... i realized I loved it?

like, every time I think about this finale, I love it more. every time i rewatch a scene, I get a little obsessed. this episode went from my nightmare to actually really really cool to me, and I'm still kind of reeling from it

Basically, this is why I've been kind of passionately defending the finale— not because I think people who don't like it are """dumb""" or anything, I don't blame people at all for that, and I totally get the confusion. I was confused too. And I know I'm not the only one who went in preparing themselves for the worst, or went in with very specific expectation on what will happen, because this finale has been long awaited for so long. I think everyone was shocked with how it ended. I think most people probably startled at Amelie's face (it's so easy to forget she exists....)

Anyways, I started this post basically as an apology for if I seem too aggressive or defensive about the finale. Because I get it! I get hating it! I get being disappointed or frustrated or confused! Part of why I'm so defensive is because I have all the arguments so ready on the tip of my tongue because I had the very same argument with myself already 😭 So I'm sorry if any of my posts came off as too aggressive and in advance for any future posts that might. I promise promise promise I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for having bad opinions on the finale! I just think this episode is really cool and the fact I related to a lot of the nay-sayers makes it easy to feel so impassioned about it.

But this post is getting off the rails and I'm just gonna let it, because some of my regrets w my participation in fandom is that I find myself chickening out of actually talking about my thoughts on episodes a lot. I get kind of overwhelmed and overthink everything after I've posted it and I'm a shy person. But my inbox is closed and this is the season 5 finale and I want to ramble and ramble so I will allow myself this

Basically, I went in with some very specific expectations for this episode. We all know about the Hawkmoth defeat story. Many of us have read it in fics over and over again, it was teased in Chat Blanc, we all know what we expect, we all know our favorite beats from it.

And what actually happened....... met virtually none of those beats. (For me, at least).

Like, Adrien wasn't there for the final episode. At all. He was completely absent from the confrontation. He never found out his father was Hawkmoth. He got his rings, but he never found out he was a sentimonster. He is living in the dark.

Ladybug confronted Monarch... alone. Which is sad, when so much of the series is dedicated to the partnership of her and Chat Noir. Them against the world....... and Monarch was "defeated" with nary a Chat Noir in sight.

The whole entire "Gabriel is known as a hero" thing. I don't think anybody was expecting that. Absolutely shocking.

The fact Marinette would lie to Adrien like that. The fact she's keeping so much from him. The fact everyone is. SO MANY people in Adrien's life (Marinette, Plagg, Nathalie, Felix, Amelie, Kagami, probably Alya, maybe more I'm not thinking of....) are just... lying to him, now. He is so in the dark. He knows nothing.

But.........

I kind of like that I didn't predict nearly any of this. I like that it caught me off guard. I love how this show just completely baffles me at every turn, how it will present concepts and ideas to me that I've never read a fic about.

In retrospect, Chat Noir being absent from the final battle... makes sense. It actually makes a lot of sense, if I think about it, because... there is only one possible way that could've gone, right? Chat Noir would not be allowed to have the emotional implosion that he would have to have. This is devastating. This is SO devastating. This is the entire shattering of Adrien's entire world we're talking about, and Chat Blanc is the only real way for that to end. Adrien has an emotional implosion in front of Monarch, he gets akumatized, it turns into an emotion explosion, extinction event. The end. We've already seen it.

And........ even if it didn't end that way, even if he managed to avoid akumatization...... how could the finale satisfyingly end on that note? How could it end in any semblance of a "wrapped up" way, at the very start of Adrien's emotional breakdown? It couldn't. I wouldn't WANT it to. In retrospect, Adrien finding out his dad is Monarch and then.... what? The season ends on a close-up of him crying? The season ends with a time-skip to the new school year where they skipped his entire grieving period!? I would HATE that, actually. I would hate that. I thought I wanted it, but I would hate it. I would hate it so so so much.

What's kind of amazing is that the finale ended with Monarch being defeated.... but Adrien still has those realizations to make. He still has those betrayals to come to terms with. There is time for him to make these realizations, for him to come to these conclusions, perhaps one at a time, perhaps in a more controlled environment.... and that gets me far, far more excited for the seasons to come than an episode that tried to wrap it all up in the last 5 minutes.

Also, the reason Adrien didn't go to the final battle was because he feared becoming Chat Blanc. He didn't know the truth to it, didn't understand that literally, yes, that's what would have happened if he was there, even if he hadn't been under a nightmare curse. But he still knew. He still expected it. He willingly chose to sit it out, no matter how much he hated it, because he knew. And there's something kind of powerful to that, I think, of Adrien making a choice that is so unequivocally the Correct choice, even more than he realized. And the strength it took for him to make that decision...... damn.

As for the lies and the Gabriel statue? I... it's upsetting, but it's supposed to be. And I believe it. I absolutely believe it. I 10000% believe Marinette would keep the secret of Monarch's identity to herself to try to save Adrien the pain. I 10000% believe that the population could easily be led to believe a famous billionaire is a hero. I 10000% believe that Adrien would WANT to believe it. I 10000% believe Tomoe would take advantage of it.

And I can't wait to see that illusion crumble.

Also.... this is the beginning of The Lila arc.

And the Lila arc begins on........ Marinette telling the biggest, boldest face lie she ever told. The Lila arc begins on the most extreme city-wide illusion we've ever seen. It begins on such a huge fabrication and....

..... it's Marinette's lie.

............ and Lila knows that it's a lie.

I'm

!!?!?!?!

This is so fucking cool???? The irony here??? the deceit???? All these loose ends, all the possible confrontations, all the ways this could GO. I don't know where the show is taking this, obviously, because nobody ever can predict where this show is going apparently (and I love it for that), but oh my god. I'm imagining all the fics I could read about this. all the fics I could write. all the thoughts and scenarios that this finale has provided me with to daydream about as I go to sleep.

Adrien, going through the motions of life. Looking up to his father as a hero, despite the fact the last time he saw him, Adrien was sobbing, in tears, and cursing his name. Adrien, after all the abuse he was subject to, having to look up at a statue of his father and...... be forced to think that maybe he was wrong about his father. But he's not wrong. He WASN'T wrong. He just THINKS that he is. His father is going to continue to loom over his life in ways I never expected post-hawkmoth. Adrien's relationship with Gabriel has not ended, a new and terrifying and horrible new chapter of it has simply begun, and Adrien is still as manipulated by his father's ghost as he was by his father himself.

THAT'S. WILD!!!

also, Adrien now believes that MONARCH MURDERED HIS FATHER. Chat Noir now believes that his greatest nemesis KILLED HIS FATHER. CHAT NOIR, resident self-sacrificer, believes that HIS FATHER was a HERO who DIED FIGHTING MONARCH. Adrien thinks that maybe he should be more like his father— more like his father who died in battle. This is. Not Good. For Adrien.

And it's Marinette that started this. Well intentioned Marinette, who doesn't really understand the extent of the horrors. Marinette, Adrien's girlfriend, the person he trusts most. She did this.

And, I mean.... god. I totally get how this sucks for a lot of people, because it's objectively upsetting.... but I LOVE lovesquare tension. Season 4 is probably my favorite season for that reason alone (still mulling over if season 5 beat it for me). I love the relationship drama, I love that it's in character drama, I love how it fits everything we know about them sososo well, I love that it's horrible and it's terrible and it's awful and it's all because Marinette loved Adrien too much to want to hurt him.

I was worried no reveal would mean that season 6 would just be... what? adrienette fluff? not that I don't love that, but where's the drama? well. there it is. that's the drama.

I need to stop typing this. I know this is abysmally long and ranty and if you read all of this then I'm sorry. But I wanted to get some of my thoughts out.

But basically, I was expecting a lot of things for the finale.

In my best case scenario, it would somehow, miraculously tie up and address all the loose ends with Adrien's angst and character arc in two episodes.... and then end with me totally satisfied, ready to only half-heartedly watch season 6 like it was just a small dessert after the main course.

And I already described my worst case scenario (my first impression of the episode lmao)

But it wasn't that. I was expecting a series finale, but I got a season finale. And I love season finales. I love how they keep me wanting more. I love how excited I am for season 6, because in both my best and worst case scenarios, I honestly didn't expect to be. I love all the new ideas and thoughts and scenarios swirling around in my brain. And even if season 6 doesn't address some of the things I want addressed, I'm so excited to see the creative content in this fandom that DOES

[princessesqcue]

Greedy

Pt.1

Pairing - lowkey yandere  Kim Taehyung x workaholic!Reader

Kind of co-workers au

Genres- yandere, comfort, angst, smut if you hold your breath

Summary ; co-worker Taehyung is the only person who makes reader feel safe in the office, he is the perfect gentleman that she falls in love with but what happens when the very trust you put in him is the one way ticket he will use to test your morals to their uncomfortable limits

note, miss gurl is terrible with summaries like I just end up spilling the entire tea whenever I try to invest into a summary 💀

Anyways

This is going to be a mini series ,I pulled this one out of my 1am adrenaline and It feels like a personal attack

Chile! Here's part one , I have no clue about the amount of chapters we're going to have

Word count: 900+

+. +. +.

MINORS!!GET OUTTA HERE OR IM CALLING YOUR MUM

he was daring…or unhinged who cares when the difference was all in the subtle shift in his set of behaviors towards you

the subtle way in which his dark eyes did not shy away from raking over every inch of you from head to toe

a once-over so subtle yet so affective on all parts of your being

it was as if his dark eyes knew stuff about you you had never shared with him , like the layer of clothes on your body were non existent in his eyes  , only his eyes in this room full of people

in this huge office where his girlfriend just happens to be the chippery conversationalist eager to form a friendship with you on regular work days

Hana ,she was the office crush

desired by half if not all men in the work building, she was hot , confident,outgoing ,friendly and she knew how to dress for the assets granted by her bloodline 

hell if you were a guy you'd line up as well

she was annoyingly perfect and new to your department ,endorsed by THE Kim Taehyung himself after a full year of running a different department brunch of the company , that is where the two met and formed a relationship.

YOU on the other hand had been acquainted with Taehyung the year before his initial transfer , you were an intern that year…he was your senior at work but on a dunken night you learned that you weren't so far apart in age

back then he was just your wonderful senior , he was always hot but you were never one to swoon over people who had no interest in you

so when did energies take this confusing twist?

you're not exactly sure but you can make out a vivid memory of when Taehyung took interest in the selfies you uploaded on your social media casually recommending you for image related tasks in boardroom meetings , you were pretty popular and adored around the office yourself

you were good at your job and rarely took off days , some would say you were a goodie two shoes and while you were beautiful your ability to handle hard tasks at work over shadowed your feminine value in the office .

you didn't  really know Tae out of his suit and ties while seemed to know a moderate enough about you not in a creepy manner ,he was attentive in a respectful manner that a friendly work senior would

the two of you felt far from friends hence you knew next to nothing about him

many of your male coworkers would try to make you feel less than or just attempt to reduce you to a bimbo in your early days but you had him , he was respectful and he spoke in your advocacy when it was necessary

you never felt ridiculed by him and maybe you began to like him ,

you were pretty obvious , warmed by his gentle gaze and the way he gave you all his attention , at other times you could swear you thought he felt the same and you would idiotically turn down guys to wait for him

for unspoken soft gazes sent your way by Taehyung

you're embarrassed for your pathetic self when you forget to transfer a file that needed to be reviewed over night in the office and have to go back after making it pretty close to home  

in your sweaty glory with your blouse stuck to your skin and your heart hammering in your ears you want to believe that your eyes are on a different level of tripping when you walk past the conference room where a nest of dark long hair hides the face of the woman being pleasured into moonlight and you are ready to tiptoe away when something about the man with his face hidden in the crook of her neck  keeps you rooted

and if you felt sick the next set of moments make you want to vomit projectile

the man raises his head eyebrows scrunched in concentration or pleasure…,damned dark eyes heavy with lone hairs from his usually gelled back jet black hair sticking to his forehead in a dangerous way that you did not need to know of , it's when he stares between himself and the woman in front of him that his lips curl in a heart wrenching smirk inflicting a mortal wound as his eyes meet yours that are getting teary for reasons unknown to you yourself .

….

to be continued.

[k-s-morgan]

I in no way mean to be disrespectful, I hope you and your family are doing well and I’m so sorry for the recent attacks. I’m just ignorant and want to know what would happen if Ukraine surrendered to Russia?

I hope you are safe from bombing and air raids 🙏🙏

Hi! Thank you <3 And don't worry, that's a good question.

What I'm 100% sure would happen in case of Ukraine's surrender, even under the most optimistic scenario:

We'd have to give up the entire country, not just a part of it. Russia always comes back for more. It's been following the same pattern with different countries forever. With Ukraine, it got a pretty decent chunk back in 2014. That land continued to belong to Ukraine on paper only - in reality, it was fully under Russian control, and no one really fought for it any longer. Was Russia satisfied with it? No. It kept preparing and then attacked to overtake even more land. It will never have enough, so to give up now means to acknowledge that the entire Ukraine will cease to exist as a country, whether right away or after Russia starts another war against us.

Ukrainian language, culture, and heritage would be destroyed completely in the coming years. Our history - and the history of the world children are taught - will be re-written. There is a reason why the majority of countries that were a part of USSR speak primarily Russian. Russia keeps carefully erasing other languages and culture, it's been doing it for ages. It's doing it right now on the occupied territories.

Pro-Ukrainian activists and people of note would be persecuted, kidnapped, tortured, and killed. This is also a pattern, it happens everywhere Russia invades. I know many examples personally.

We'd be gradually cut off of the outside world. Like, Russia has banned major fanfiction sites; it's trying to block YouTube and other platforms. The transformation into a semblance of North Korea would be inevitable.

Ukrainians would be treated as third-rate non-humans on their own territory. Again, it's been happening everywhere Russia barges into.

Ukraine would be used as a military base to attack other countries, and Ukrainians would be forced to become Russian soldiers.

As for the rest, it could go in several ways. Maybe Russia would want to show how 'amazing' it is, so it'd turn Kyiv into a second Moscow, creating different well-paid positions and opportunities to suck up to Kyiv residents and to prove its hypocritical benevolence.

On the other hand, it could just as well turn the entire country into a concentration and extermination camp. Russia has been torturing, raping, degrading, and murdering our people everywhere. Stealing their homes, kidnapping children, etc. and etc. I have a huge number of friends, people I know, or their friends who shared their stories, and each of them has been absolutely horrific.

My Mom's colleague, for example, used to live near Bachmut. When Russians came in, they immediately began to hunt down anyone related to the police and the military and killing them or actually demanding ransom for them. They kidnapped this colleague's friends, a married couple, kept them in a dog's kennel, pissed on them, beat them up, and raped the wife repeatedly. At that point, the colleague managed to flee the area, and she has no idea as to what happened to them afterward.

This could very well be the fate of our country in case of our surrender since the world obviously doesn't care and wouldn't bat an eye at the millions suffering and dying, kind of like it's happening now.

So surrendering is dangerous because we might cease to exist, but perhaps we are just prolonging the inevitable. A tiny country with a pathetic level of support cannot win against a giant that has a ton of everything and whose allies keep sending it even more weapons of destruction. Oh, and let's not forget how Russia keeps producing more and more weapons because the US and EU keep selling it the parts it needs for missiles and other stuff, and how Ukraine, after seemingly getting help from these US and EU, is forbidden to use it to strike Russia back.

It's all a joke to everyone but us, so I honestly don't envision a positive outcome at all. In the end, as long as our heroes are determined to defend Ukraine, we'll keep trying to hold on. The future will show what it'll lead us to.

[ludinusdaleth]

A List of C3 Foreshadowing in Critical Role

when c3 was airing, a primary criticism was that its plot points about the gods, vasselheim, a second calamity, and similar ideas seemed to come out of nowhere, but when i watched the past campaigns, i felt i recalled quite a few examples of the opposite. i decided to start this compilation upon my rewatch to help aid the meta and highlight foreshadowing i definitely noticed. a few notes before i start:

-as my intention is to prove these themes were present pre c3, this will include quotes from any canon game pre c3. this means c1, c2, & exu prime; i will also include calamity as it is technically a precursor to what c3 covers and aired before the apogee solstice.

-matt said he did not explicitly consider the emotional toll of the gods' actions during the calamity until c2. so any god-related lore example i pull from c1 was likely not directly intended as a questioning of the entire pantheon's morals. however, as many things that happen in c1 were scrutinized by some fans pre-c3, and are pulled directly into c3 and addressed, i will add them. it is more than likely matt did intend hints to a second calamity, however, as matt has discussed in interviews since c1 that he wanted a big crossover and major final threat.

-i will not be including all crises of faith or character opinions on the gods unless they directly feed into c3's themes, as those are personal to the pcs and dont contribute to the argument except to clarify folk have differing beliefs. i also wont include all foreshadowing ever made because it's not all relevant to my point.

-you dont have to interpret these exactly as i do and you dont have to feel the same way about c3 as i do. this is just a post proving that elements of c3 always existed before when common meta arguments explicitly state otherwise.

-lets just get the big one out of the way, with the raven queen & vax. you can interpret their relationship any way you wish; it is clear that vax holds incredible respect for her by the end and has accepted his duty under her. in a way there is love there, a queen and her knight. i personally do not think their deals are all that unfair. but people have debated their relationship forever, and it is worth noting in campaign 3 episode 121 "a new age begins", that the raven queen outright says she "held [vax] as my own greedily for too long". so lets read them within the context of how the raven queen ultimately views their dynamic. in campaign 1 episode 45, "those who walk away...", after vax makes his deal, his symbol to sarenrae is "very heavily tarnished, and the metal itself seems to have cracked in three places"; the rq had no need to sunder his faith in another prime diety but did so anyway. she always refers to him possesively as hers - for example in in campaign 1, episode 90, "voice of the tempest", she tells vax: "you are still mine", a small comment but it adds to her own thesis. in campaign 1, episode 103, "the fate touched", she says, "perhaps you will keep me company [...] my beautiful thing". she is deeply possessive, in ways that buck the notion of impartial godhood (when folk insisted no god had humanity in old discourse) and it seems far more overreaching than a deal at times. that didnt come out of nowhere.

-in campaign 1, episode 13, "escape from the underdark", kima says that vasselheim locks away forces and forces people to forget them: "The least they could do was to seal both [Orcus] horns across the world from each other and forget that it even existed. Which worked well until recently. [...] If it couldn't be destroyed, at the very least we could convene and decide a safer place to possibly reseal it and forget. There are magical ways of forcing those of us who know how to forget." this is consistent with c3, where vasselheim at the gods behest hides knowledge of predathos/ethedok/vordo for the entire age, bringing in judicators on foreign soil to ensure that knowledge is kept hidden. the fact that kima, headstrong & independent, easily accepts this fact given her upbringing, shows how normalized it is in vasselheims society. and, in both the horn of orcus & predathos's case, it's clear sealing away and forgetting doesnt solve shit.

-vasselheim is presented as highly conservative off the bat. in campaign 1, episode 16, "to vasselheim", they get defensive and haughty at the notion vox machina having arcane magic, and they are not allowed to use it within its walls. while we obviously dont acknowledge tiberius now, when tiberius casts a spell to look gold scaled, yonn admonishes him saying "I would be mindful to not do such things so openly in the future". yonn is outwardly racist to tiberius for being red scaled since yonn is a follower of bahamut, the metallic dragon god: "I'm going to take it you don't see very many dragonborn in these parts?" "No, and frankly you're making me a bit nervous."

-in campaign 1, episode 38, "echoes of the past", gilmore states of vecna: "you have enough individuals that believe you're a god, that willpower is strong enough to keep you enduring."

-in campaign 1 episode 41, allura says, "If Vasselheim still stands, I-- knowing its history, that is one of the most fortified cities, the most fortified city in our civilization. It's endured two great wars, and has been the starting point of each cycle." the fourth age does indeed begin in vasselheim.

-vasselheim refuses to aid tal'dorei or wildemount against the chroma conclave. in campaign 1 episode 43, "return to vasselheim", vord says, among a shitton of other quotes about protecting vasselheim, that "should Vasselheim fall, I dare say all is lost" and that "It is only here that those who are the most devout could truly have the hearts and minds to guide us" while it is fine to want to support your own city, it is noted how angry vord gets when the dwendallian empire will not aid vasselheim and how they need aid from others to defend from the titan. this arrogance that only they should survive and know best leads to them invading marquet in c3.

-also in campaign 1, episode 43, "return to vasselheim", going back to that vord interaction:

vord: "It is only here that those who are the most devout could truly have the hearts and minds to guide us, Bahamut forbid, into a Fourth Age."

keyleth: "So, if this is the Third Age, does that mean the Fourth is upon us?"

vord: "i hope not."

multiple gods in the final arc share a fear of another calamity and outright say so to the bells. more on them later.

-in campaign 1 episode 54, "in the belly of the beast", keyleth says something that perfectly encapsulates what theme cr ends up embodying: "You know, as druids, I was raised to have an interesting perspective on the gods. We are taught that nature is the one true powerful force. I have yet to see a god control the sunrise and the sunset, so therefore it's hard for me to sometimes have the same faith in these gods. Personally, I believe that just because you're immortal doesn't make you infallible. These gods can be great ambassadors of their virtues and what they represent, or they can be horrible disgraces to their domains. And just because some self-proclaimed person or deity decides that they want control? Doesn't mean that they have to have control over me. Now, this does not mean that I do not respect the gods and the power that they wield, but, I mean, for the love of Sarenrae, we have seen Pike do many a powerful thing. So, therefore, I do not respect the gods any more than I respect the living people who are standing beside me at this moment. [...] Maybe this [deal with the Raven Queen] can be a fine partnership. A fine endeavor to do with her, and then once we save the world and we retire and some other young prodigies come forward to save the world again, then we can thank her for her services and move on. I don't think you will always need her. And, keep in mind, the one true thing that gives these gods their power are their worshipers. So I guess I'll let you choose what you want to be." keyleth is proven entirely right here with astounding victory; even her comment about pike is proven entirely right when she can still heal when sarenrae is gone.

-this is a bit of a stretch, and open to interpretation, but in campaign 1 episode 18, "the trial of the take", it is mentioned that "Through the blessing and touch of Melora in this district they are able to treat the land as magically fertile territory to grow." in campaign 1 episode 57 "duskmeadow" this is reinforced with "There's almost like a lush forest that curls around the outside of it that doesn't match the rest of the indigenous trees you've seen in this area of Othanzia", and of the raven queen's domain: "the downside is that the power of these glyphs that prevent undeath also prevent any actual vegetation from existing in this area as well. So all the ground that you've come across: no grass, no natural vegetation. It's just dirt and ash and dust." with the theme in c3 of the gods being a colonizing force, these things show me that the gods will twist natural order - melora is putting non indigenous plants in a new area, and the matron doesnt allow anything to grow when death is a cycle, nothing to even decompose. i may be reaching for sure, but well before c3 i noticed this and it fundamentally bothered me, and ive seen others note it too.

-in campaign 1 episode 57 "duskmeadow", the raven queen says: Without death, life has no meaning. "Finality drives change, innovation, greatness. It is the end that I bring that drives all of your gracious creations of this land to make the world better than we did, than those before me did."

-from campaign 1, episode 103, "the fate touched": "gods, as they currently exist, their worship is what sustains their importance and viability in the various planes."

-in campaign 1, episode 104, "elysium", sarenrae says, "Understand, in order for any of us to directly interfere to seal a god like we did once long ago, we would have to tear down the Divine Gate and that would release an entirely new armageddon upon your world."

-in campaign 1, episode 104, "elysium", sarenrae says of her followers, "we learn from each other."

-in campaign 1, episode 104, "elysium", sarenrae says, "but for everything great that we may have created, you continue to create far better. Our existence brings threat. We've brought two calamities before. We try and avoid a third. Whether we diminish in time or just maintain this balance, it's you, and your children, and your children's children, that hold the keys to the future of your lives, your people, your culture, and us."

-this one is more up to interpretation but i think of it often. in campaign 1 episode 105, elysium, vex sees pelor behind the sun: "you can see the faint features, the soft cheeks, the hairless head, and the bright warm eyes of he who brings the dawn". to me, this felt like a poetic proof that the gods were people behind their divinity.

-pretty much the entire vecna arc reiterates again and again, via the gods themselves at times, that mortals do not inherently need the gods anymore but the gods need them. quoteth ioun, in campaign 1 episode 106, "the endless atheneum": "We, the creators, did breathe the beauty into this world, we planted the seeds that would blossom into this incredible weave of Exandria. However, what is the purpose of the parent but to teach what they can, then set the children free? [...] We now stay to inspire, to guide, to guard the Gate, to keep the hate of ignorance we spawned in our hubris from burning away everything. The rest is up to you. We need you, perhaps, but you do not need us."

-in dalens closet, vax who has spent time in the raven queen's realm says "i am imperfect. as are the gods."

-now we're in campaign 2 territory, and references ive noted start later on. this example could be unrelated, but i note it: in campaign 2, episode 45, "the stowaway", they find a pre calamity mural of the cosmos: "one, there's no Divine Gate shown [...] You get the sense this was designed before the Divine Gate was ever created. Number two, there is an additional shape. Smaller than the rest. A tiny, ruby-like circle that floats in the Astral Sea, that is not tethered to anything, and seems to not really fit within your understanding of the cosmos." predathos, that you?

-in campaign 2, episode 60, "a turtle by any other name", kord says with such anguish, "we've all done terrible things." definitely caught my ear, that he knows wrong was done.

-throughout all the campaigns, characters wonder at breaking cycles. there are literally too many examples of this to count, but id particularly note any conversation where the m9 talk with the bright queen. for this angle, ill cite beau in campaign 2, episode 63, "intervention", explicitly saying "we can help you break the cycle" to leylas, and leylas saying it is impossible, to her eyes, to break. they can all see it even if they cant really see it. it is a function of their universe.

-in campaign 2, episodes 74, "manifold morals" & 76 "refjorged", beau & caleb meet a researcher called demid sunlash who is obsessed with ruidis. "Ruidus itself, some are believed to have been either a pre-creation, back when the elements themselves were consuming all of Exandria, but others believe may have not originally existed, may have been a creation by the Betrayer Gods and was some sort of long-running mysterious plot that was cut short during the end of the Calamity and when they were banished away. That's what I'm certainly curious about." he says there are "too many prying eyes and ears" when beau & caleb ask for information in public.

-in campaign 2, episode 89, "lingering wounds", matt says, "Mind you, based on the scrolls that had to be hustled out of Vasselheim by Obann and members of the Angel of Irons cult, you have information to at least make you think that that information is very, very, very intentionally near impossible to find." to me this is good setup for vasselheim completely concealing the two dead gods, and far more.

-let's talk about jester & artagan, what i think is c2's main thesis that fits into c3. jester's mere belief in artagan causes him to gain more power. i will not be including every single snippet, as this is brought up multiple times, but here are the strongest examples: in campaign 2, episode 94, "with great power..." artagan explicitly says "With each new faith, I could find myself, I could feel myself becoming what you believed." it becomes established more & more through the narrative that jester may be equal to/have more power than artagan; in campaign 2, episode 96, "family shatters", beau wonders this aloud, saying "i think she might be, like, more of a god than this fuckhead is"; in campaign 2, episode 107, "devoutness and dicks", artagan tells jester "whatever strength I've been giving you, it's just been more of a boost"; artagan tells jester "i trust in your power, you've proven it time and time again" in campaign 2, episode 114, "an open window"; in campaign 2 episode 124, "a walk to warmer welcomes", artagan says "you're the magic ones, silly mortals"; and in the finale, artagan outright says, "You don't need me. You never did. [...] You've proven that, how strong you are. I better give you a push here and there, lend you some of my power, but all the rest is you."

-aeor's mere existence is a massive setup to what happens in c3, and i think most of its moral arguments exist in that campaign. but we visit it and note all of it in c2. it is known that "[aeor] had wished to construct weapons or a weapon, that would be capable of perhaps even killing a god. And for a brief moment in time, both Prime and Betrayer turned an eye towards this city and brought it to ruin" (from campaign 2, episode 108, "frigid propositions"). when beau researches in campaign 2 episode 110, "dinner with the devil", she finds records that aeor "was driven by the belief that mortality-- the gift of magic to the mortal was a gift as well as a challenge by the gods to eventually show that the creations can become the creator," and says "that belief varied throughout the populace there, but those in power firmly felt that there was... there was a drive to, whether it be to save Exandria from the destruction of the coming Calamity by eliminating the Pantheon entirely, or for personally selfish reasons. There's no specific record." it's gray territory why aeorians wanted to do this, and if they did all want to, even early on. this is further hinted at in campaign 2, episode 122, "nothing ventured, nothing gained", where the writer of the somnovem journal is "pontificating about their politics, and whether they were indeed a unified people as some archivists suggest". "it suffered tumult within", confirms halas, who studied it, in campaign 2, episode 125, "the neverending day".

-there are soooo many hints to ludinus. in campaign 2 episode 48, "homeward bound", the m9 find that the cerberus assembly is studying dunamancy and how to control it, and a set of notes near the research says "I surmise [the kryn] have been learning to bend and break the threads of destiny for hundreds of years. Be this truth, I cannot imagine the Raven Queen looks down upon them favorably either, though the thought brings a laugh to my lips", which could be ludinus's notes. in campaign 2, episode 84, "titles and tattoos", oremid lets slip that "whatever Ludinus is attempting to ascertain with this beacon, is important". yussa expresses caution about ludinus's intelligence and allura is scared of him a few episodes later in campaign 2, episode 87, "punishment and politics"; in campaign 2 epiaode 109 "frigid propositions" , vess says not to trust ludinus. campaign 2 episode 115, "fetching friends & frosty secrets", dagen disagrees with him being called good people. ludinus nonstop sneers at the kryn's "religious drivel" in campaign 2, episode 88, "unwanted reunions". in the aeor arc the m9 find an aeorian ruin that ludinus & his annex is overseeing excavation of; in campaign 2, episode 119, "malice and mystery below", caduceus is told "what catches you odd and makes you feel the shiver down your spine as you climb through this tree, is the way that it's twisting, the coloration of the leaves and the branches: Very reminiscent of the Savalirwood, specifically the corrupted portions of it"; this connects ludinus to molaesmyr's corruption, he's exploring its cause.

-leylines & planes shifting are mentioned a few times vaguely in the story. i think a good implication of what they will do in c3 is in campaign one, episode 112, "dark dealings", where artagan says about him being trapped in the feywild, "Things rearrange every eon or so, and the ley lines that guide the paths shift, and I haven't been able to get back since." when the m9 finds ryn's notes in campaign 2, episode 129, "between a ball and a hot place", she suggests a lot is happening around that: "The theories on a pattern of change begin to peek through in some of the notes. A slow shift in the structure between the planes, and a possible sudden shift in the cosmic tapestry down the road. And you can see a lot of these notes, there's a combination of worry and excitement gleaned from them. This person is just pontificating about possible cosmic events down the road that could be catastrophic or very exciting and unique, remaking of the cosmos. [...] Possible change that could spell disaster or balance? Who knows? For instance, an example theory of the magnetic poles suddenly flipping earth. [...] I continue to find an aberration in my data pertaining to Exandria. A cyclical, months long, slow surge in low-level magical interference that then recedes just as slowly. Something that tangles my readings and upsets my analysis. It is too faint to identify the arcane nature at source, but I worry if this pertains to the shifting between the veils. Could be something very interesting. Something very frightening. Very wonderful. More tests are required."

-in campaign 2, episode 135, "the genesis ward", caleb finds aeorian papers that describe that "there are some books that detail elements of the study of creation, specifically creation of the Pantheon. Speaking of growing proof, from their perspective, that mortal minds and imagination gave form to the gods, not the other way around. There is elements of research regarding that and debate and papers fighting for both perspectives throughout that one particular book."

-the somnovem are definitely batshit, but they retain some sense of the past; in campaign 2 episode 138, "where there is a will..." they say that mortals face "the trials and toil of running the divine maze, under the alien minds of false gods".

-much like jester, zerxus also does not gain divine power from the pantheon. in calamity episode 1, "excelsior", it is said he "is a wielder of divine magic with no devotion to any deity to speak of. He has mastered the ability to call upon the divine simply as a champion of the people of Avalir."

-in calamity episode 1, "excelsior", purvan says, "She was one of us [mortals]. She does remember from whence she came. It is not their world any longer. Why would she not welcome us behind her?"

-in calamity episode 2, "bitterness and dread", brennan ponders, "if [the gods] have wars, if they squabble and bicker with each other, how inhuman can they be?"

-the hall of oracles in avalir is described in calamity episode 2, "bitterness and dread', as having "a connection to the divine without the use of gods"

-in calamity episode 3, "blood and shadow", loquatius says a theme of c3: "History is not true, all right? History is whatever people decide to put out into the public."

-you may dismiss zerxus as crazy, but in calamity episode 4, "fire and ruin", he hits the nail on the head saying that "[the gods] came and you shaped. you took, and you shaped, and you changed, but you didn't create a thing". and that "you are a child and you are lost. how do you not see that?"

-in calamity episode 4, "fire and ruin", evandrin says "Laerryn's vision was, from whence do the gods come? By what token do they award themselves that title, and what realms beyond could we explore"

-in calamity, we see that vespin chloras is not the wholly evil person we are taught he is throughout cr beforehand. it's a good tally in the idea that history was not taught without bias.

-in calamity episode 4, "fire and ruin", evandrin says, "I do not know whence the gods came from, but I know that you found it in your heart. I promise you, Zerxus, I will find that place. I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you and bring you home." there is more acknowledgement the gods are alien, and evandrin will find their home.

-in exandria unlimited, episode 1, "the nameless ones", there's a ship called the blightstar with ruidian imagery, which contains the crown that will one day doom opal. i wouldnt say this is narrative foreshadowing entirely the way the others are but it was too important not to share

-throughout exu prime, there is heavy emphasis on the theme of power being just power, for us to decide what we wish to do with it, the theme that ends up entirely defining c3's finale. in exu episode 3, "a glorious return", gilmore says, "Now, the Spider Queen herself is dark, is evil, but the vestige is simply power and it is whatever you make it into. Power simply is." in episode 6, "the gift among the green", thrascuur tells the crown keepers "you have to decide what you will do. What you will become. And the last I will say is this: power is neither good, nor evil. it simply is." in the final exu episode, with a high history check, orym realizes (via dm narration): "It's just power, and even though this vestige was marked by the Spider Queen, it is wielded by a friend, and she can decide what she will make of it."

-in exandria unlimited episode 6, "the gift among the green", thrascuur tells the crown keepers, "The world constantly changes, and that's not the gods. That's the men that walk upon the earth, and you are those people that will change the fate of the world."

-in exandria unlimited episode 6, "the gift among the green", thrascuur tells the crown keepers, of magic: "it is undifferentiated. It is not divine. It is not something wrought by man. It is not nature. It is whatever it needs to be. It is simply power. The decision, the deciding makes it a thing." And they reach down and pick up one of the little oil lamps. "The power of this candle is nothing against the thought that I have to put it out. So what is a thought against something that turns and burns in the world? All of this place, all of Exandria, holds potential, holds energy, grabs it, takes it, makes it and gives it. But it is the decision of you reaching into a place, full and ripe, of you reaching into a place, full and ripe, and deciding to bring something into being. That is the power that some call of the gods, that some called the arcane. It is power and it is beautiful, and for you to know that, to have seen it up close."

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Mar 27, 2025

The University of Oxford is at it again. Somehow forgetting that its function is the pursuit and production of knowledge rather than ideological propagandising, its authorities have decided to modify the Latin passages of the degree ceremony to be gender-neutral. Bye bye, magistri (masters) and doctores (doctors); instead, graduates will be referred to as vos (you). One presumes this is to avoid causing offence to ‘non-binary’ students who happen to specialise in the classics.

On a purely theatrical basis, this stripping away of grandeur is disappointing. One of the most enjoyable aspects of matriculating at Oxford was that we had an excuse to dress up in black capes, and when I later graduated I was permitted to wear the flowing bright red garb of the doctor philosophiae. If I had climbed up to the top of the cupola of the Sheldonian Theatre on that day, I might have been mistaken for an activist from Fathers for Justice.

These anachronistic touches are surely part of the appeal of studying at Oxford. And although a slight modification to the Latin won’t harm anyone – let’s face it, barely anyone would have noticed – it does point to a deeper societal malaise. Like asking someone for one’s pronouns, it’s a little reminder that we are expected to truckle to this intolerant, regressive and identity-obsessed new state religion.

And let’s not forget that the entire notion of ‘non-binary’ is, for the most part, a status symbol for middle-class narcissists. Why should an 800-year-old ceremony be tweaked to satisfy the demands of these little Veruca Salts who wants the whole world to contort in accordance with their preferences? At the time of my graduation at Oxford I was a huge fan of Madonna, but I didn’t insist that the Vice-Chancellor intone: Modo virginis. Tum primum tactae.

Up until relatively recently, ‘coming out’ as ‘non-binary’ was a means by which uber-privileged celebrities could claim some degree of oppression. It was this generation’s most fashionable label, and was embraced by the likes of Same Smith and Demi Lovato. It was only marginally less ridiculous than Danni Minogue claiming she was ‘queer’ and then later clarifying that she wasn’t interested in women sexually, or Michaela Kennedy-Cuomo – daughter of the former governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo – announcing that she was ‘demisexual’. This is defined as someone who only feels sexually attracted to someone if they have an emotional bond, which means that Cuomo had effectively ‘come out’ as an old-fashioned heterosexual.

One cannot ‘come out’ as non-binary. The metaphor of ‘coming out’ is specifically related to the revelation of an innate characteristic that one has kept hidden due to societal disapproval. Up until the 1990s, coming out as gay involved a degree of personal risk; gay people were disowned, disinherited, fired, and sometime physically attacked or killed. Coming out as non-binary, a fashionable and celebrated identity, bears no such risks.

Moreover, homosexuality is a verifiably innate characteristic. It is remarkably easy to determine someone’s sexual orientation by scientific means, and to measure degrees of arousal on the basis of erotic stimuli. There is no apparatus in the world that could measure ‘gender identity’ any more than one could hope to measure where someone falls on the spectrum of mods to rockers. And yet we are expected to treat belief in this will-o’-the-wisp as the equivalent of an inherent sexual orientation or racial group. It’s remarkably insulting to minorities who have been persecuted throughout history.

For the sake of the literal-minded, I should point out that when I say that to be non-binary isn’t real, I do not mean to imply that people who call themselves non-binary do not exist. I am pointing out that identity is not the same as material reality; it is all about self-perception. The claim of being non-binary is not even synonymous with ‘intersex’ (not a third sex or evidence of a ‘spectrum’, but rather a developmental condition that results in sexual ambiguity in males and females).

The identity of ‘non-binary’ is based on the notion that one does not feel aligned with stereotypes of male or female. And so it amounts to a reinforcement of traditional ideals of maleness and femaleness. Rather than acknowledging that men and women can behave and dress as they like, to claim to be ‘non-binary’ implies that if men don’t behave like ‘real men’ and women don’t behave like ‘real women’, they are somewhere in between. It’s an oddly conservative form of rebellion.

This is why the Globe Theatre’s 2022 production of I, Joan, based on the life of Joan of Arc, was so reactionary. It presented Joan as ‘non-binary’ because she was powerful, courageous and wore men’s armour. For the woke, female strength and independence is not to be celebrated, but to be explained away. The same goes for the essay on Queen Elizabeth I that appeared around this time on the Globe’s website, referring to the monarch with ‘they/them’ pronouns on the basis that she rhetorically claimed to have ‘the heart and stomach of a king’.

So when former Coronation Street star Shobna Gulati last week claimed to be ‘non-binary’, she was not ‘coming out’; she was simply declaring her belief in a quasi-supernatural creed. Of course she is entitled to do that, but that doesn’t magically stop her from being a woman. But just as a friturier may announce his fealty to Ukobach, the demon in charge of frying souls in the underworld, there’s no reason for the rest of us to play along.

--

If this was the 90s, they'd be goths. If this was the 00s, they'd be emos.

I don't believe you're "non-binary" anymore than I believe that Xians are "covered by the blood of Jesus," or that Muhammad flew to heaven on a grotesque mutant donkey.

I don't believe in a biology-independent disembodied sexed essense "gender identity" anymore than I believe in an eternal Xian soul or Xenu and his thetans.

And I don't have to. That's what secularism means.

If your "identity" is invalidated by me not believing in it, then it was never real in the first place.

What I do believe is that nobody believes more strongly in enforcing narrow, rigid sex stereotypes than the people pretending they're breaking them.

[cerastes]

I’ve gotten asks a while ago about my thoughts on those other games but I can’t find them so here:

Wuthering Waves: It has the same strengths and weaknesses as PGR in relation to Honkai: It wants to be Genshin With Good Gameplay so bad that it forgets about everything else. It’s got good gameplay, the systems, the feel, the Nioh 2-esque way you add monster attacks to your moveset, it’s really fun, with a dash of late PGR goodness, like parries (attacking the enemy in precise moments before they launch specific attacks) and cohesive stamina/economy of action balance. Unfortunately, the writing is just so immensely bland and the characters forgettable beyond their One Quirk + Loving The MC that it’s kinda hard to get attached to anyone or anything if you have any standards above No Standards, and it’s all delivered with the charm and prose of a wiki article. Worst offender is Yangyang, who spends the first 60 minutes of gameplay not shutting up about exposition. Devil May Cry if it was Wikipedia out of ten. Designs are pretty nice. Music is very mid, not bad, just mid, which is disappointing coming from the devs that brought us Narwhal. Overall it’s pretty ok and if gameplay is all you care about and you dig it, you’re going to have a good time.

Zenless Zone Zero: If it’s Hoyo, it’s got production values, and that is true for ZZZ, it looks phenomenal, and frankly, I had a pretty good time playing it, so congratulations to Hoyo for making the first game of theirs I don’t hate. Characters are pretty fun and dynamic, it certainly tries with how not everything is about combat, and delivers a pretty cohesive package, all things considered. Biggest complaint would be that it’s still Hoyo on the wheel, so they are god awful greedy with horrible rates on pulls and expensive top-ups. Second biggest complaint is that the main meat of the gameplay, the combat, is pretty barebones; it does a phenomenal job making it look stylish (and I mean that, it’s not a backhanded compliment) and cool, but combat all boils down to dps racing with very basic gimmicks, even if sometimes entertainingly skill demanding (Soldier’s just frame attacks, Alexandrina’s doll management). Writing is very charming, actually, the plot isn’t trying to be super Deep And Complex off the gate and wants you to get to know (thus, care about) the characters through smaller, simpler lead ins onto their bigger plot, and characters don’t exist entirely to tell you how much they love you and how you are the center of the universe, which is pretty cool. So, yeah, I’m actually saying something positive about a Hoyo game, pretty nice integrated package.

NIKKE: Nikke honestly blew my mind, it looks like a maximum coomer game — and in many ways, it is — but the plot twist is that it’s a charming maximum coomer game with plenty of other things going for it. It’s a game where “mixed bag” is used positively: The setting is as generic and braindead as they come, Things Were Nice Until The Threat Attacked, Only The Hottest Women Can Stop Them (And You Are The Only One That Treats Them Well). But then your starting crew is basically anime girls Ed, Edd, and Eddy, legitimately a really fun crew. Events either are — intentionally — simple but fun and low stakes character studies, or higher stakes storylines that usually land. The music direction is also REALLY good: Normal stages have very utilitarian music that is just a compliment to the sounds of combat, boss themes do a 180 and are full of personality and pretty memorable, Ominous Cross lives rent free in my mind. My only complaints is that I personally dislike models where you NEED multiple copies of a character to truly realize their gameplay potential, and Nikke sadly has this, the skill ceiling is pretty low and it all comes down to a numbers game/dps race, and non-boss enemies are pretty uninspired. In fact, battles are just… Really not fun, and where the game shines, boss battles, are really also not that good either. Honestly, the only thing that kept me from sticking with the game is the low skill ceiling, and in a world where Nikke had tighter gameplay, I still play it. On a more personal note, I sincerely love the designs, first and foremost Scarlet Black Shadow.

[realbubonicsword]

An Analysis of Shelly

I know what you're thinking. "But Toffee, you only ever post Goob-related content! What's with this sudden Shelly craze?"

Now, my one and only favorite character is and always will be Goob, but I have started to take an interest in Shelly's character lately. And hoooo boy, it has been one HELL of a rabbit hole. Plus, I haven't seen anyone else actively point this out, so I'm doing it myself.

Are you ready?

Let's begin.

(analysis below cut)

The first thing about Shelly that struck me as odd in the new update was her design.

Now, there is absolutely nothing bad about her design-I find it very good, actually!-but when I saw that she was a MAIN CHARACTER TOON (I wasn't keeping up with update news), I was shocked. Everything about her design, from the clothing she wears to the colors made her look like a more...out of the way character. A character meant to have one singular purpose, and then be brushed aside and forgotten. The fact that she was one of the main toons was....strange.

I mean, look at her compared to Teagan!

If you knew about Dandy's World, but didn't know about the update, which one would you guess was the main toon?

I found this...interesting.

Then, I looked into her dialogue on the wiki.

Average stuff, for the most part. She didn't really have anything that jumped out at me. In fact, she didn't show too much unique personality at all. The only thing she was really doing was helping others, or occasionally asking for things from others. Nothing else, really.

Although, there was one strange piece of dialogue that caught my eye, that actually showed a hint of what kind of person Shelly is.

Odd, but ok...

And then, I read the description for her twisted form after finally getting 50%....

And it all made sense.

See it yet?

Let me highlight it for you.

"The blatant ignorance of her existence by everyone around her has enraged her."

At first I thought that this had to be an exaggeration. Surely this friendly and helpful toon couldn't just be ignored like tha-

Oh.

They're right.

Every single bit of dialogue she has is either her helping someone or her asking for something. It's sort of like that person at a job you like being around, but you never really get to know. That's Shelly with basically EVERYONE.

Seriously, name ONE genuine friend that she has currently IN THE GAME (not counting Sprout) that she has had an actual conversation with where they bond and get to know each other as people.

The only time she had some sort of conversation was with Teagan, when she mentioned she was doing ok..."sorta-ish". That line in itself is interesting as well, as it shows how she feels about all of this. But still, they don't really seem to be friends.

We're dipping into a bit of headcanon territory here, but I believe it's rooted enough into Canon to include.

Shelly is someone who craves human (or in this case, toon) connection. She wants to be dependable, to be the one people can fall back on when they're feeling down, to be the one people rely on, and she has that, in a sense. However, no matter how much she does for others, no matter how much she helps them and supports them...

People only see her as..someone to ask for help on occasion. Uh oh, I dropped something, better get that fossil girl to help, since she's always so useful. And that is a part of what Shelly wants!

But that's it.

Useful.

A tool to use and then toss aside for the next person until they need her again.

That's all there is to almost every relationship she has.

And part of it is her fault.

You see, Shelly is so focused on helping people that she forgets to take that next step to forge true friendships, and unfortunately, nobody seems to ever catch on that she wants to take that step to forge genuine bonds with others.

She's non-confrontational by nature, and she doesn't want to ruin her perception of being useful, because then people might forget about her entirely, so she waits and hopes that someone will hear something that she will never say herself.

A good example of this is the strange dialogue I mentioned earlier between Shelly and Vee.

Vee asks if she's busy after they're done with going down the elevator. Shelly initially doesn't believe that anyone would ever ask HER of all people to...possibly hang out...and talk..like friends...

So she gets excited. She asks what they're going to do together (although notably phrasing it in a way so it seems like she is offering to help), and...

It was...just moving some supplies. More work. More reasons to be useful. This isn't a bad thing! It means that people care about her! That they have need for her, so they'll never forget about her! It's not like she hoped that someone actually wanted to take time out of their day to hang out with her, nope! She'd never tell Vee any of that! And besides, she's totally fine with this!

So why does it hurt so badly?

Shelly's greatest fear has been happening to her for years, and she refuses to agknowledge it. To her, it could be so much worse if she stopped helping people. As long as she's useful, people will like her. They would never even think to toss her aside and forget about her, right?

Except they have been for a long time now.

When people talk to her, she either has to initiate by asking for something, or they initiate only because they need something from her. She wants to tell them so badly, to ask them why they never seen to pay any attention to her, or attempt to even have a real conversation with her, but she will never be that bold.

Even with the cardboard cutouts on one of the maps, she's hidden in the back-present, but barely noticed by those around her. (this is more obvious in game)

No matter how much she tries, no matter how friendly or helpful or dependable she is, people never seem to see her as a person. Why don't they see her?! She's right here! She's here and she's endlessly waiting for connections that will never come to pass! It's fine though, really!

Keep being friendly, and people will like you more.

Keep being helpful, and people will have a reason to talk to you.

Keep being dependable, and people will have a reason to come back. They won't ever leave you alone. Right..?

Keep being friendly.

Keep being helpful.

Keep being dependable.

(That's all you'll ever be.)

Ironic that a fossils greatest fear is being forgotten.

[jynjackets]

I feel kind of bad for admitting this but the breakup scene was so corny idk why they thought they ate with that. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad if they related to it but it reminded me of me getting broken up w/ via text and facetime and i laughed my ass off LOL. If the characters were like early twenties that makes sense for Bix to do that but aren't they like 30???? Idk dude its just such lazy and bad writing. Seeing these people talk about how they were sobbing while watching it...I love that for them, I don't want to take away from their experiences but I kind of want to tell them that....there are better stories out there. Also, if you have to break up with your bf over space-face-time because you can't trust him to do the right thing, are y'all really as in love as you think you are? All of these writing decisions are sooo frustrating. I'm glad the hype is dying down and ppl are rightfully addressing this shit character writing. I was ok with Bix breaking up with him, I knew it was gonna happen but not in such a fuckass, melodramatic 2001 Degrassi cringe moment. I cannot wrap my mind around this version of Cassian. It wouldn't bother me so much if the Twix x Cassian romance weren't supposed to be such a defining factor in Cassian finally ~*choosing*~ the Rebellion. I hate this shit so much omg do a memory wipe on my brain pl e a s e

I think that’s nice of you to respect others’ view of the breakup tiktok. I thought people were joking when i heard that’s what she did. Then i genuinely burst out laughing that he was just watching an ipad 💀. like that’s crazy. she didn’t even do a HOLOGRAM.

I think the writing altogether is just so unbelievably bad i can’t even pretend it’s anywhere related to the rogue one storytelling i fell in love with. like this is a cw spinoff in a completely alternate universe.

what’s strange tho is when people obviously don’t like it but then force themselves to like it and then choose to forget the fact that THIS GUY SUCKS. some of these characters are straight up dumb because they have to be in order to push the plot forward 💀 idk that douchebag that put his gf that he hates under house arrest. she went back where they left b2 so he can obviously find her again if he wanted? it’s all so ass

It just proves we’re all cherrpicking what we want anyways and i encourage ppl to be happy with what they liked out of any of this. And for me personally almost the entire batch is rotten from the beginning. i’d want more velcinta if they actually built them out more. But the rest of it was designed to hate the very thing that allowed for this show to exist. weird af