#rel / jordi

[hauntingblue]

I was checking out op manga prices and was like oh 15 per volume but east blue alone it's 4 volumes 💀

[doyouknowthis-grishaverse]

and the winner is... the BOOK portrayal! He may have only been in flashbacks but he still won many hearts

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Dressing for revenge [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

word count: 7k

summary: when Kaz and his crows return from Ravka they run into trouble, and to solve it, he looks for a childhood friend who is too resentful and too in love with him

warnings: trauma, PTSD, spoilers for S&B season 2, no physical contact, here Kaz has no romantic feelings for Inej

A/N: I LOVE Kanej, but I wanted to write something with Kazzle Dazzle because I love him too, lol. I hope you like it!

taglist (who I thought might be interested): @rustyyyyspoonz

The rumor had already spread throughout the Barrel: “Kaz Brekker and his crows are back” How long had it been since they had embarked into the Fold? Just a couple of months? They had felt like years, if you were being honest.

If it was true that they were back, you felt sorry for the trouble they were going to run into. The change of ownership of their club, the strengthening of the other gangs, and mainly the fact that they were being tried for murder thanks to the fact that Pekka Rollins had awarded it to them... all these problems were going to fall on them like a bucket of water cold. It had already fallen on them, in fact, since the rumor was accompanied that they had escaped from the stadwatch once they were captured.

You didn't know how much of what everyone was saying was true and how much was false, trying to stay as calm as possible when the name Kaz came from someone's lips for fear that Pekka had some magical ability and could read your mind or sense the fear in your eyes every time you met him. Afraid of him and afraid of what he might do to you if he knew you knew the black-haired man.

Things had changed a lot since the last time you saw the boy and that was more than noticeable. Your story goes back long before he made his reputation when you were just a couple of neighbor kids playing on the farms. You two arrived in Ketterdam together, with nothing but hopes for a better future and Jordie as your protector (or an attempt at that, at least), after your father and Mr. Rietveld died in the same accident, reuniting with Kaz’s mother and later to be matched by your mother, who had died of sadness, if that was possible. Three helpless children thrown into the cruel world were what came of that and the rest is history.

Crime, robbery, gangs, and a life of hardship were what you had to adjust to as a child, but you doubted very much that a single person living in The Barrel would be in a different situation. You weren't fully involved in the disgraced jobs of the majority, but if there was one true thing, it was that when it came to obtaining information you were, to say the least, excellent. You and Kaz had to fend for yourselves, and you learned what you could from the streets. In this way he and you became a team, so to speak, for a few teenage years, and for that period of your lives having each other was the only thing in the world. Over time he became ruthless, rude, a great fighter and earned the nickname 'dirtyhands' thanks to his gambling skills, from which he obtained most of the things you had. You learned to move quickly, to go unnoticed, and to defend yourself from those who tried to harm you, always supporting the boy’s plans.

Less than a year was enough for his name to become known and he began to think big. Sometimes he would tell you about the plans he had: to run Fifth Harbor, to establish the crow club, to become the best of The Barrel. All of that sounded like crazy ideas at first, but looking back you realized that he had accomplished too much in that pit for your relatively young age.

You never knew what made you and Kaz go their separate ways, but somehow it had happened. It was gradual, maybe that's why it was hard for you to notice, but one day you woke up and realized the distance that existed between him, who previously was practically the only family you knew, and you. It didn't take much for him to decide to break the bond that had held you together from a very early age; he never gave reasons for this and you never asked him.

You lived under some protection from the leader of The Crows, of course, but very few people could link you to The Bastard of the Barrel. Sometimes you still provided him with information, but when he found someone else, the inquiries became less and less frequent until one day they turned into none. You managed to eat and have a roof over your head pretty well (and mostly honestly) and you tried to stay out of trouble for a long time.

Until one day he flew away from Ketterdam without warning and order in the Barrel was disturbed in every possible way. With his team gone, it didn't take long for Pekka to seize control and anyone who didn't work for him was inevitably against him. It was only a matter of time before he found out the talent you had tried to hide and forced you to carry his lion shield... figuratively speaking.

If he ever knew that you used to work with Kaz he never mentioned it or maybe your relationship with him had been severed so long that no one remembered it anymore. Now you were just a little girl, as he used to call you, slippery enough that she seemed so harmless that, in his eyes, that became a benefit. You were never one to look rude, unfortunately for you, and that allowed men like him to feel entitled to take advantage of you. You thanked the saints that Rollins didn't find you attractive or who knows what other services he would have requested from you. It was always better to provide him with the information he needed than for him to force you to be his lover.

You weren't a part of the meetings that the Dime Lions had and you weren't considered a member either, which kept you calm every night. You were just another piece in the enormous chess game that Pekka moved at his convenience, the same game that was threatened by the mere existence of Kaz Brekker and much more so now that he had returned.

In the middle of the night it was logical to ask yourself, what kind of strange plans would he have in mind now?

One, two, and three knocks surprised you at the rickety wooden door and made you jump out of your chair, where you were already asleep. An old lamp was on the even older table and it illuminated the little space that your provisional home had so you took it to approach to open the door. It was raining outside (quite unusual for that time of year) and by the time it was you figured it was one of Rollins' idiots coming to do a job for you. What would he want now? Harbor information? Talk to a policeman? He was supposed to control everything, sometimes you kept wondering why he asked for your help.

When you opened the door, the air slipped in and almost extinguished the flame of the fire, but the temperature of the night wasn’t what left you freezing, but the presence that was in front of you. With his hat, a completely black outfit, and his cane in hand, but above all soaked from head to toe, there was him; Kaz. You almost feared you were imagining it, but you knew it was him by the clear, penetrating eyes that were watching you, even though you admitted that he had changed so much that in other circumstances you would have had trouble recognizing him.

“Did I arrive at a bad time?” he asked. No warm greetings, no smiles, no explanations. Just a cold, serious question, just the way he was.

“Someone followed you? If this place is horrible by itself, I don't want blood staining the floor” you replied with the same tone. You wanted to tell him that you had missed him, ask him if he was okay, and give him a huge hug, but those actions should be reserved for your nocturnal fantasies, because as soon as you took a step forward he would be able to hit you with his cane. Or at least that's what the Kaz you knew would do, but you doubted very much that the passing of the years would have softened his heart.

"Nobody followed me" was all he said and you stepped aside at the door so he could go inside. Even with his words, you felt the need to look out on both sides of the street in search of someone, but with the level of rain, you doubted very much that someone would want to stay and spy because he would probably die of pneumonia.

When you closed the door and turned around he didn't say anything, he just stood in front of you while the water drained from his coat. During that moment of silence, you allowed yourself to admire it under the warm light of the candle; his eyes definitely hadn't changed one bit, but now there was a tinge of contempt more noticeable than before. His features had hardened and he was thinner, barely resembling the boy you remembered, perhaps as a reminder of just that... that he was now a man.

“So the rumors are true…” you started to say “You are back”

"I think that's more than obvious," he exclaimed. For a second you forgot that it was he who had knocked on your door and you felt uncomfortable as if you were an intruder who had to get out of there.

There was silence again and you two just looked at each other. Kaz had made his own mental list of changes he noticed in you and was reflecting on when was the last time he had looked at you in such detail. You were wearing light clothes, because before he arrived you were about to go to sleep, and your face, although as childish as always, looked more tired than before. You had also cut your hair, which was messy around your shoulders and a bit darker in tone.

“And may I know to what I owe your visit? I guess you don't want to have tea” you said to break the silence. The dryness of your words in a certain way was to protect yourself because you never knew how much a sharp tongue like his could hurt you.

"I'm in a job and I need people"

Of course it was going to be due to a job, and of course that was why he had sought you out after so many years. A part of you, tremendously stupid, to tell you the truth, was hoping that during the time your friend was away from Ketterdam some divine clarity would have illuminated him so that he would realize that he had to look for you to repair your relationship and offer at least apologies. But you would have to pay him every kruge in the country for him to do something like that.

"I'm glad you considered me, but I'm sorry I have to decline."

"Why?" he asked immediately, his raspy voice showing annoyance at the refusal.

“Because it happens that you can’t work for opposing sides. At least not at the same time” you replied. Maybe it was due to fatigue, but you swore you saw a slight look of surprise on the man's face when you answered that. Most likely, he had assumed that you would be one of the few people who wouldn’t be on Pekka’s side and therefore a safe option.

“Do you work for Pekka?” he muttered. You knew him well enough to know that he was hurt, you could see it in his posture, in his voice, and especially in his look “After all he did to us?”

"And what did you want him to do?" you said, trying to ignore the fact that he had spoken in the plural. Us “You practically handed us over to him. My options were that or receive a bullet in the forehead."

"I didn’t hand you over to anyone"

"You abandoned us and left us in his hands, it's the same thing" you replied, shrugging. There was so much resentment and pain from never-closed wounds floating in the air that it was hard for him and you to think clearly. “Your vacation in Ravka may have been nice, but things only just went to hell here. So don't you dare judge me by the choices I made” you exclaimed defensively.

You didn't imagine that your first conversation with him after so long would be like this, but unfortunately, things never turned out the way you expected. After all, they were a crook and a spy talking in the dead of night.

"You could get information from him more easily," Kaz concluded, shrugging the same way you did. "And so we sink him from the inside."

"And risk him finding out and killing me?"

“You know that would never happen,” he said firmly “The thing about killing you. I wouldn't allow him” his eyes stared at you almost offended by the lack of trust you had towards him. There was silence for the third time and this time your gaze moved away to focus on anything but him.

"Plus you have this girl you took out of The Menagerie, don't you?" you said in your defense. The one you replaced me with, you wanted to add, but held back "So I don't know what you might need me for" 

"With so many problems going on, I thought it would be better to have as many alliances as possible," he explained to you. You continued without looking at him, with your head still full of worries and sorrows, and when he didn’t receive an answer, he spoke again "You know that it is your best option"

"I don't know that, but I do know that I would have liked you to at least ask how I am before asking me to join the team you never wanted me in and from which you separated me as soon as you had the chance" you exhaled, in an attempt to lighten the weight on your chest. 

It was no secret that you had always felt betrayed by Kaz’s treatment of you, even though he treated dozens of others the same way, because you somehow thought that your backstory was enough to deserve at least the sympathy or some consideration on the part of the crow. And of course you wanted to run from Pekka's clutches and plunge him into the deepest muck, but the resentment for what you considered your friend’s abandonment was stronger. You didn't even know if it was correct to call him ‘friend’.

"You would be a good ace up my sleeve" was all he replied, in an attempt to convince you. Kaz begged absolutely no one, but if there was one thing he had decided before coming to find you, it was that he wouldn't leave until you agreed to help him. Although the nature of your current job made things a bit difficult for him, "Pekka never knew you worked for me, did he?"

"With you" you corrected him "I didn't work for you but with you. We got to The Barrel at the same time”

"Y/N" he murmured. Your name sounded strange coming from his lips after so long without hearing it and that caught you off guard “I'm trying to help you so you don't end up hurt or dead. If you work for… with me, I can tell you where not to be. Otherwise I could find you in the rubble of some confrontation or with a knife from Inej or a bullet from Jesper through your chest”

"Always so thoughtful," you replied with a smirk, but as much as it pained you to admit it, he had a point. You knew what he was capable of and what Pekka was capable of… which side was more convenient to be on? "How much are you going to pay me?" you asked and Kaz smiled, but it wasn't a sign of happiness but mockery “You've always said that's what's really important, haven't you?”

He took something out of his coat and tossed it on the table. They were bills. 

"An advance, when I recover the crow club, I will pay you the rest"

“So my pay depends on whether we win or not. That doesn't sound so convenient to me,” you muttered, clicking your tongue, as you fought the urge to say yes just to be near him. It was cold outside, the rain was making a lot of noise and you just wanted to sleep at once, but you knew that you could have been arguing with him all night and neither of you would back down. Kaz was stubborn, one way or another he would get what he wanted. "This isn't just about the club, is it?" you said, with your voice noticeably lower and you would even say with a touch of softness. You and Kaz never talked about what had happened, but each of you was dealing with the weight of the trauma in your own way. He didn't say anything and this time you saw something in him that was different from his usual behavior, knowing that it was those ghosts from the past tormenting him.

"If someone should make him pay, it's us"

Us, again. 

"I'll think about it" was what you answered, after reflecting on what would be the appropriate response. The speechless moment gave you something else to think about, and you knew that a huge flaw of yours was how easily you let your heart take over. Because even with all the other feelings on top, you still worried about him "Now that the crow club isn't yours..." you started to say, afraid of what he might say "do you have a place to stay?"

You would have offered to sleep there if he said no, but instead he said he’d manage. That didn't completely reassure you, but you decided not to insist.

“First thing tomorrow, send a reply to this address,” he asked you, holding out a piece of paper that had a few drops on it “Don't go there personally or you'll screw everything up, just send me a note. A yes or a no will suffice”

“What if someone tracks down the note?” you asked, which was a totally valid concern.

Kaz was silent while he thought of an alternative, and then spoke again.

“Just write crows of a feather, murder together. I'll understand” he murmured and you nodded. You knew the poem he was quoting from, had read it many times from the worn-out book he had gotten for you. Kaz didn't wait for anything else and took long steps to the door, which he opened as soon as he could. "Good night, Y/N."

And then he left.

That night you thought a lot about the solution you would give him in the morning, thinking about the pros and cons of each possible answer, until you decided that it was best to say yes. You needed to do it if you wanted to live peacefully (as much as the place allowed) but the main reason was to support him. If he had been about any stupid dispute you would have said no, but you knew this was something else. Kaz missed Jordie every day of his life and his way of honoring him was by planning revenge against the one who led him to that fate, so it was kind of an obligation for you to help him with that too.

You wrote the note on a piece of paper and carefully folded it to put it in an envelope. You signed the outside with his name, written in the best handwriting you had, and although you were hesitant to do so, at the end you wrote a little ‘from a friend’ in the hope of making it clear to him, and perhaps even encouraging him that, if he was willing, you could recover a little of what you had lost. And you weren’t referring to physical things, but to what existed between you.

All your life you had lived with almost opposite feelings when it came to Kaz. Somehow you were upset with him for only seeing you as an instrument that he could dispose of for his interests, but this was linked to the feeling of affection that you wanted him to experience for you and that apparently didn’t exist. It was difficult to decipher anything he was thinking, not just about you, since he had taken it upon himself to build such a convincing facade that it made it complicated to see beyond. Added to that was his aversion to touch of any kind, which, while quite understandable and justified, still made you feel sad. More than once you tried, in vain, to be able to touch him in some way, even if it was something tiny, but he always pushed you away. He pushed you away physically and eventually emotionally, and yet with all this background you wanted to help him.

You knew you couldn't expect a reply to your note, but you were confident that he had received it, and your suspicions were confirmed when another letter came back a couple of days later. It contained a day, a time, and a place, which you assumed was a meeting with him.

You were very careful when you headed there, because you thought that the fewer people saw you together, the better, or else Pekka might suspect something. You covered yourself with a long black cloak for this task and when you arrived you noticed that it wasn't Kaz who was there, but a couple of boys.

"Who are you?"

"And you?" you asked, with the same defensive tone. The place seemed to be an experiment workshop and looking at it in more detail you noticed that there was a bed, so it could even be some kind of apartment. The two men, one brown-skinned and the other pale as snow, wore simple brown suits and were looking at you warily.

“She is Y/N,” said a voice behind you. By the sound of the cane accompanied by the footsteps you knew it was Kaz, “she will work with us”

"Oh," said the dark-haired boy, looking happier with the answer, as he walked in your direction "Welcome, in that case" he muttered flirtatiously, as he held out his hand for you to greet him "Jesper Fahey, at your service”

"I am Wylan" intervened the other, from his place, timidly and quickly.

"You arrived" Kaz spoke again. You turned and a couple of women appeared, you guessed that the shorter one with Suli features was the famous wraith of Kaz. And she was beautiful, you couldn't help but notice.

There was a brief conversation with the six of you there and then Kaz asked you to walk him up to the roof of the place. Once there you instinctively stood next to the only one you knew and he just looked at you out of the corner of his eye while he adopted the typical position of him leaning on the cane.

“Brick by brick” whispered the man’s raspy voice and you were about to ask what you were supposed to do there when an explosion went off in the distance so impressively that you stepped back a bit. It didn't take you more than a few seconds to locate the space and realize the place it was.

"The crow club" you said in a low voice, only for the black-haired man to hear you, while you watched him in profile. But he didn't look at you, just exchanged words with the others and talked about how Pekka's apparent reign was coming to an end.

You'd always known that Kaz Brekker was a little unhinged, and that night you proved it for sure, but you weren't even the least bit afraid. Rather, it was some strange hope that this madness would allow you to go far. Even freedom, perhaps.

After that clear declaration of war, things got considerably complicated, especially when you were summoned before Pekka and he asked you to investigate someone in particular and it turned out to be none other than the man you were now secretly working with. You assumed it was something logical, but even so you feared that Rollins had noticed the slight tremor in your hands when he asked you to complete the task.

You summoned Kaz to Black Veil Cemetery, late at night, and there you confessed to him everything that had happened. He of course found something good in this and devised a way to use it to your advantage, which put you at ease. It still amazed you a little at how nervous you became around him as if you knew nothing of what you were doing, but when you regained your composure you thought it was an excellent plan.

Meetings with Kaz were regular, but always in secret and alone, and they worked to exchange information that you considered useful for him with what he would allow Pekka to know.

You didn't know the full plans and you weren't part of them in any way, or you would be found out, but you knew about almost everything that was going on. The attacks, the fights, the traps, the injuries... you had to look at everything from the outside without being able to intervene. It was frustrating for you, more than anything in the world, and you had to admit that you had taken a liking to crows, even if you had seen them only a couple of times, so you also looked after their safety.

One day you received a note and went to a meeting with all the members of his group present, to finally hear the full version of what Kaz intended to do to finish off your boss. It was a brilliant idea, but you were a little worried about your position in all of this.

“You mean I'm going to be there watching everything Pekka and his thugs do?”

"It will be the best" he answered you. His face still had a bruise on his cheek, a memory from the last fight he had, and he looked exhausted "Jesper and Nina will be there, plus you'll be in disguise" he added and you nodded at that.

When the moment came you thought it would be an easy task, but when Kaz started to get brutally beaten you had to muster all your willpower not to throw yourself into trying to face Pekka, even with your zero skill. He sounded so convincing when he said about Alby that even you believed it, feeling suddenly awed by the cynical smile on Kaz's blood-smeared face. And he also mentioned you in the story, although not directly, saying that it was all about revenge for having abandoned you two when you were children.

You were able to breathe again until Pekka and his entire gang left the place in search of a son who wasn't really buried and you four were left alone. Under other circumstances you would have run to Kaz, cupped his face in your hands, sobbed, and told him it was over. But instead, you just stood in front of him and watched him; his eyes were wild with fury and a thirst for revenge that had already been quenched, but you sensed a hint of calm when he became aware of your presence.

"Breathe," you said in a whisper. Jesper and Nina were dismayed by the closeness with which you spoke to him, as they knew little of your history together “You're fine. We all are,” you assured him. That situation took you back to multiple panic attacks in the past where, given the impossibility of physical contact, all you could do for him was talk to calm him down. It always worked and Kaz had forgotten how soft your voice was and the way you brought him back to the real world. You decided to risk trying to do something else to comfort him and cautiously stretched out your hand towards him, instantly seeing his eyes widen in terror. But your hand ended up landing, more like a touch than a squeeze, on the man's bicep, which was covered by his coat; it wasn't intrusive, or abrupt, and Kaz was surprised that he didn't feel anything negative about it. He looked at your hand and then he looked at you with that usual serious expression, but he didn't push you away and allowed you to stay that way for just a few seconds, after which you decided to move your limb back.

You didn’t receive a verbal response at any time, but you did see him exhale shakily (so softly that you barely noticed) and nod his head while still looking at you, as if he were letting go of a huge weight that was stuck in his chest and at the same time assure you that it felt like a victory. Victory for beating Pekka, victory because he wasn't engulfed by an attack when you touched him, and victory because somehow you were there. You were with him, again.

“Now can we go back to normal?” Jesper asked, to break the silence, and you felt like laughing. Have they ever had a normal life? you asked yourself, but you didn't say.

"Yes" was all Kaz said and taking one last look at you he began to walk in the direction of the exit.

Both of them were curious about the type of relationship you had with Kaz but neither thought it wise to ask at the time, although Nina was getting an idea of things thanks to your racing heartbeat and his that it was impossible not to hear a moment ago. You stayed there just long enough to have a drink with Jesper and then you left the Emerald Palace. You didn't want to go back home, but going with one of them didn't seem like an option either, and once you were on the street you felt worried about remembering the state the black-haired man had left. You trusted that by that time he would be calmer and as if they thought for themselves your legs began to walk to look for him.

It was cold again and you feared you would meet someone dangerous on the road, but you only saw a couple of drunks and a girl looking for clients. Until you were in front of the door, you wondered if it was a good idea to go in, thinking that you would probably be crossing a line that Kaz was not going to allow you to, and wondering if you were going to put up with his refusal, which was a pretty good chance.

With trembling hands you opened the door, which luckily was unlocked, and as if some unknown instinct were guiding you, you found Kaz's room; it was the only one from which light came out through the crack in the door and something told you that he was there. You knocked twice, fearing you had knocked so low that he hadn't heard, and even considered walking back the way you came, but didn't have time to as the door opened a few seconds later. He had already taken off his coat and vest, probably because they were stained with blood, and his black shirt was open at the top buttons, with the suspenders that held up his pants hanging on his thighs. But what caught your attention the most were his pale, gloveless hands.

"What do you need?" he asked you directly. His face looked worse now that the bruises had swollen and the blood was dry. He'd probably have them for a couple of days, and he was definitely going to have a scar over his eyebrow.

"I wanted to see you" you replied, instantly regretting not having considered your sincere words better "I mean... to see how you were" you tried to correct. You thought he would slam the door in your face, but instead he scooted to the side to let you in, then closed the door behind you with a soft click.

Again you felt alien to the place for a moment, thanks to the fact that he looked at you from head to toe as if your presence bothered him. You had to mentally remind yourself that he saw most of them that way.

“Your pay will be ready soon”

"That doesn't matter," you said softly. Several things had changed since the first conversation you had with him, because now that you knew why Kaz had done everything he had done and the traumatic memories returned to both of you, the money had taken a backseat.

You didn't say anything for a moment and you looked for a place where you could sit later. Kaz’s room, once painted green but now just damp walls, had a small bed by the window, a desk littered with papers and a lamp facing another window, with a simple bookcase placed on the top of the side wall; a nightstand, a place to wash your hands with a mirror above it, a circular table in the middle of the free space, and a single armchair that at least looked comfortable. It wasn't the prettiest place, but at least it was cozy.

"Your girl, did she leave?"

“Inej is not my girl. Or from anyone, she is free now” he answered you. He still wasn't looking at you and you noticed that he was having a hard time staying on his feet.

"I'm glad to hear it. She deserves it” you murmured sincerely. You thought that she would be important to Kaz, like all his partners, and you decided to venture out to see if he revealed something else to you. "She's very smart."

"She is"

"And she's pretty too" you added and without moving his head he looked out at yours. You felt as if he was reading your intentions through your eyes, a quality he had always had.

"I think so," he said without much interest.

"Are you very hurt?" you asked, changing the subject, as you took a step towards him. By inertia he took the same step, in the opposite direction, and that made you stop abruptly.

"Nothing to worry about" he exclaimed and though he thought, you couldn't have known, of course, get close to you, you decided to take that step back before he did anything else. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm"

"What did I do to make you walk away?" you exclaimed, finally expressing a question that had been eating away at your chest and tormenting you for many nights in a row. And since there was silence, you spoke again: “Not like right now, but a long time ago. It's just… I never understood it. Before we were friends and for me… you were even like a family. I loved your brother too and I know losing him never affected us the same, but I was glad you were there for me after that. Then we got older and things got more difficult, but I still had you and that calmed me down. And then… we just drifted apart,” you muttered, shrugging, as you avoided his gaze. Kaz still didn't answer anything and you felt the obligation to fill the silence “Sometimes I remember the things we went through when we were young. The good ones, of course. Like that time we stole a cake to celebrate your birthday and it was probably the best sweet I've ever eaten” you commented, smiling at the memory "And when I made you laugh with my bad jokes, no matter how angry or sad you were... I haven't seen you smile for a long time and I don't know if you celebrate your birthday anymore” you reflected wistfully, almost as if you were talking to yourself. And well, in the face of Kaz's inexpressiveness, that's practically what you were doing.

He hadn't said anything yet and you concluded that all your effort was useless. It had been a mistake to go looking for him, as well as trying to get even the slightest proof that he had ever missed you and you wished you had never opened your mouth. You sighed to contain the urge to cry and without saying anything else you turned towards the exit, intending to leave and return only for your money, but Kaz's voice echoed. 

"Do you remember what I told Pekka?"

You stopped.

“You told him many things, you will have to be more specific”

"About not loving anything" he replied. Your hand trembled on the doorknob at the mere thought of what he was implying and I was able to hear your racing heart pounding in your chest. You heard footsteps and, still without moving, you heard him speak again "That's why I drifted apart”

You never, even in your wildest dreams, imagined that he would say something like that to you and perhaps you were just deluding yourself with the implication of the words, but it was enough to make you freeze in place.

"I still don't understand how that relates to me” you expressed in a low voice. Kaz took a few more steps towards you until you could see his shadow mingling with yours and you felt it was time to turn. He was watching you from above, seriously.

"I didn't want…" he trailed off. You would almost say he was nervous “I didn't want you to be…”

"A weak spot," you said without thinking, followed by a sigh that sounded almost amused "That's your problem, Kaz," you continued, your gaze far across the room, "You think love is a person's greatest weakness, when it's not like that"

"It is not?"

"No" you exclaimed with determination "I believe that... many times love is what keeps us alive. Struggling"

You were speaking for yourself when you said this. What was your motivation every day? In the past, the love for Kaz. Now, it was love for yourself and the hope that one day someone could love you with the intensity with which you loved others.

“I had already lost Jordie. I didn't want to lose you too,” he finally said and that's when your eyes locked with his. You never thought he would verbally express something like that.

“And did you prefer that I lose you?" you whispered in pain. You wanted him to be aware of things, because it seemed like it had never crossed his mind to stop thinking about your well-being and start thinking about your feelings. “You don't just lose someone when they die, Kaz. You can also lose those who are fully alive”

He didn't say anything, because he clearly didn't know what to answer to that, and while he reflected on your words, you caught a glimpse of a certain vulnerability in his blue eyes that you had rarely seen. I couldn't say that you knew the man in front of you better than anyone, but you had a considerable advantage thanks to the years you had lived with him.

“Okay, just… listen” you started to say, knowing he most likely wouldn't give you an answer “I know it's hard to live as we do— as all of us at The Barrel live, but the risks I decide or don't take. They are my decision, not yours. These years you have sought to keep me out of danger and I appreciate it, but you have to learn to trust me”

"I do. I trust you"

"Then show me," you replied. You couldn't help noticing that, even with his stained face, Kaz was still the most handsome man you'd ever seen “Friends do not avoid each other, nor do they move away and despite that, during all these years I have trusted you as from the first moment we were left alone”

You didn't know if you were saying the right thing, but at least you were saying something.

"And if it's too late?"

It was too late? Kaz wondered. He wondered if it was too late to open up to someone, to try to get over his trauma, to let go and finally love you the way he wanted to.

But all this remained as a thought, phrases that couldn’t leave his throat.

“It's not for me,” you assured him. “But my patience won't last forever. I think you should know that”

You couldn't even imagine how many emotions Kaz was trying to process at that moment, but even he himself didn't understand what a mess you'd made of him with that conversation. From his perception, he had admitted that he loved you, but from his eyes, you didn't seem affected by it. And you, contrary to what he thought, felt like you were going to faint.

You were about to leave, for the second time, but he spoke:

“Stay,” he said, sounding more desperate than he would have liked. “I don't know what to say, but… just stay here. I don't want us to be alone tonight”

Us. That fucking habit of Kaz's to speak in the plural and make you a nervous wreck.

You looked at the bed and found that it was too small for both of you, to which we had to add his refusal to be close to others. Proof of this was the unconscious movement of sticking your hands as close as possible to his body during the entire time you were talking.

"Use the bed, obviously you need it more than me" you muttered and went directly to the armchair. Fortunately your first impression wasn’t wrong, it was very comfortable.

The room was so small that the apparent distance between the pieces of furniture didn't mean much, so when he sat on the bed you could see him perfectly.

The memory of one of the times when both of you were in similar situations came to your mind. That night you had been woken by frightened screams from the next room, in that abandoned house where you and Kaz found shelter, forcing you out of bed to investigate.

It was hard to comfort a person without physically touching them, especially when he had nightmares, and over the months you'd had to get used to it. The boy hated waking you up, it made him feel guilty and stupid, but you always kept him company. You never spoke, never asked questions, you just stayed there so he knew he wasn't alone.

Maybe something like that was what Kaz needed tonight. 

"Rest" you exclaimed. His head turned to look at you and you detected a different and special glow in his eyes; as if it were a mixture of fear, softness, and gentleness. You appreciated that look for a few more seconds, which you feared you would never see again in your life, and then you reached out your hand to turn off the light on the desk.

Silence reigned in the darkness.

You settled in the chair, trying to figure out what would be the best sleeping position, and at the same time you heard Kaz slide between the sheets on the bed. After a while, your eyelids felt heavy, a consequence of the fatigue that the hustle and bustle of the day had left you, and when you were about to fall asleep, a voice pulled you out of your reverie.

"Thank you. For everything”

The phrase was a whisper, a delicate caress in your ear, but you understood it clearly. And you decided to think that when Kaz said 'for everything' he meant literally everything you had selflessly done for him during his life; like he just realized you were important. But it's not that he had just noticed it, but that he had just accepted it.

You wanted to stretch out the moment as long as you could because, even if you weren't looking at him, you knew he was awake thanks to the sound of his breathing, but at some point sleep overcame you and you fell fast asleep.

Kaz had nightmares that night, like always, but the difference was that when he woke up in shock in the morning, you were in the same room. So seeing you there, keeping him company, was reason enough to calm him down.

And like every time this had happened, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

[chericos]

Curled Around Your Finger ꩜ .ᐟ

M. Fushiguro x curly-haired!(implied black!)reader

Inspired by @/just-jordie-things

Megumi Fushiguro loves your hair.

(Not like it was any secret) Granted, he loves every part of you. It’s not like your physical features are attributed to his reasons for loving you. But it is a WELL known fact among your peers that Megumi is borderline obsessed with anything relating to your hair.

Any chance he gets he’s carding his hand through your locks and curling them around his finger. You could be anywhere, doing anything, and he will find (or make) a reason to play with your curls. It’s like second nature.

In his defense, he has a constant need to touch you. Whether you're cuddled up during a movie night, placing his hand over yours while sitting on a bench, or—even with his disdain for pda—linking pinkies while walking through crowded areas. It’s not his fault his hands tend to migrate to your hair naturally. (he knows what he’s doing)

And it’s not like you were none the wiser either. You saw how his eyes were trained on your hair when sitting on the train together. You felt the way his fingers softly massage your scalp while you rested your head on his chest. You even heard the way he’d hum with a dopey grin on his face as he braided and twisted small sections during breaks.

So that’s why it’s no surprise when he offers (follows you) to come to the hair supply store with you.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

The bustling streets of Tokyo felt alive with the energy of the afternoon rush, but for Megumi Fushiguro, it was just another errand he had committed to. You walked next to him, hand in hand, and a skip in your step as you made your way downtown. Megumi turns his head to look down at you. The midsummer sunlight kissed your face, making you look radiant, he wondered how you always looked even prettier than the last time he saw you.

Your smile brightened as you reached out to give his hand a squeeze before releasing it. The beauty supply store came into view, a colorful beacon amidst the sea of grey buildings. The large windows displayed a myriad of hair products, tools, and accessories, promising solutions for every hair type and problem.

"Thanks for coming with me, Gumi," you said, glancing up at him. "I know it's not really your thing."

"It's fine," Megumi replied, his usual stoic expression softening slightly when he looked at you. "I wanted to spend some time with you anyway."

It's a relatively quiet affair. The only noise came from the other few scattered patrons and the muffled hum of music playing through the speakers. But his eyes follow you like a hawk. He was taking a mental note of every product you grab and storing it in the back of his mind for later.

If anyone were to ask, he would just say he was doing “what any good boyfriend would do”—which is true, but honestly, he just wanted to be useful. In the case at any point, you need to refill on something, you could depend on him to go in your stead.

"Alright, first on the list is leave-in conditioner," you said, walking towards one of the aisles as he followed silently behind you. You crouched down to reach your go-to hair brand, Megumi watched as you picked up different bottles, reading the labels and ingredients carefully. He always admired how knowledgeable you were about what your hair needed, and the way you seemed to navigate the store with ease.

"Do you have a preference for scents?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence, and surprising you with his question.

"Not really," you replied, smiling at his interest. "As long as it works well and doesn't clash with my other products, I'm happy."

You handed him a bottle. "What do you think about this one?"

Megumi took it, sniffing the open cap. "It smells nice. Light and fresh.”

"Perfect," you said, adding it to your basket. "Next, I need a good gel. Something that will define my curls without making them crunchy."

As you continued your search, Megumi stayed close, shadowing you like an eager puppy. He occasionally picks up products, asking for your opinion on them. You explained the difference between various types of gels, creams, oils, and what brands you do and don’t support, and he listened intently, making sure to memorize your hair care routine.

"Do you always use so many products?" he asked as you compared two different gels.

"Pretty much," you replied with a small laugh. "Curly hair can be high maintenance, but I love it. It's a part of who I am. Especially after everything I've been through regarding it."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I like your curls. They suit you."

You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. "Thanks, Gumi!"

After picking out a gel that met your criteria, you moved on to accessories. You browsed through hair ties, clips, scarves, and headbands, holding up different options for Megumi's opinion. He offered his thoughts, telling which colors go best with your complexion and what style would fit your aesthetic.

Finally, you reached the checkout, your basket full of new products and accessories. As you placed everything on the counter, Megumi stepped forward, pulling out his wallet.

"Let me," he said, and before you could even think of protesting, he had already gone and paid for everything.

"Megumi, you didn't have to do that," you said, touched by his gesture.

"I wanted to," he replied simply.

You smiled, feeling a surge of affection for him. "Well, thank you. I really appreciate it."

Megumi insisted on carrying your shopping bags, gently taking them from your hands with a firm yet kind expression. "You shouldn't have to carry anything if I'm with you," he said, his voice resolute. As you left the store, bags in hand, you felt a sense of contentment. The streets of Tokyo were still crowded, and you ended up linking your arm around Megumi’s to not get separated.

While you both walked back to the dorms you turned a corner, and noticed a quaint coffee shop with large, inviting windows and a cozy ambiance. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted out onto the sidewalk.

"Want to grab a coffee before we head back?" you asked, glancing up at him.

"Sure," he agreed, a rare smile playing on his lips. "I'd like that."

The two of you walked side by side, the bustling city around you feeling a little bit quieter, a little bit more peaceful. In that moment, you knew that it wasn't just about the beauty supply store or the products you'd bought. It was about the time spent together, the small acts of care and understanding that strengthened your bond.

As you sipped your coffee and chatted about everything and nothing, you felt grateful for Megumi and the way he made even the most mundane of tasks feel special. And with your new hair products in tow, you knew that your curls—and your heart—were in good hands.

I’m a sucker for curly hair…

also, I find that each time I write I start blanking out when it comes to dialogue. Idk I can never seem to get it down right 😞

@ CHERICOS 2024 all rights reserved do not repost, edit, copy, translate, or plagiarise my works

[spatialwave]

what pet names do you think jordan would use for marie? and how would they come up for the first time?

omg, firstly — jordan li is an avid enjoyer of pet names, alright? you can’t convince me otherwise. especially when it’s just them and marie. they usually try their best not to let the names slip in public, solely because luke and andre tease them relentlessly about it.

(marie doesn’t often use them back, i like to think she calls jordan “jord” or "jordy" instead as a nickname. or if we ever find out jordan’s middle name i think she would also think it’s cute to use that one as long as it’s relatively unisex.)

—

“babe” and “baby”

this pet name started out kinda (very) sexually. it slipped out when they were having sex, in the heat of the moment — “don’t stop, baby.”

marie definitely didn’t stop because who the hell would stop when jordan li was calling you baby??

after that it just kept happening and there was no stopping jordan. when it was just the two of them, the name ‘marie’ didn’t exist.

jordan especially likes using it when they’re grouchy and asking for something — a pout of “babe” usually tugs at marie’s heartstrings.

“love”

this was also accidental but in the sweetest way possible!

the two of them were doing something very domestic, like going shopping or cleaning up together — they're in a serious relationship now.

jordan bumped into marie by accident, "sorry, love," they whispered with a soft touch to the small of her back, the words falling so sweetly, and easily, off of their lips. marie took a second glance at them when she heard it, but they didn't react in any other form and she didn't bring it up.

it was sweet — their new normal.

[erika111111]

Just to show everyone how truly toxic and evil these Rylan shippers really are. I rest my case.

NEVER ONCE did I say if you like a gay ship are you misogynistic or fetishize gay men. I said that specifically about the Lyan-hating Rylan shippers, NOT EVEN all of the Rylan shippers. Using the term "braindead" is ableist and disgusting (I actually lost a relative who went braindead after having a seizure so this really fucking triggered me). Apparently these people would rather use ableist insults against me than actually read my damn post, because I NEVER said that, and never would. I literally ship several gay ships, just take a look at my blog, man. Sure seems to me like some people got butthurt and despite me not calling them out specifically because these were NOT the people I was targeting with my posts, my post triggered them because they took it as a personal attack. I also said I ship LAURAMAX, not Lyan. I made a whole ass LauraMax playlist. I don't EVEN like Lyan. I stood up for the minority group that was being bullied, I'm not "hiding behind canon" to "ship my shit" or whatever. I actively ship LauraMax, there's no insecure canon shield being held here, I don't like Lyan, but again, canon is canon. I'm not wallowing in any misery, but clearly you are, or you wouldn't be attacking and mocking me behind my back when I literally didn't say a single word to you. No one's hiding behind canon. Canon is canon. If you don't understand what that means, that's your problem. And for the millionth time, not all Rylan shippers are bad, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. I met some very nice Rylan shippers. I said the LYAN HATERS and the Chrashley/Jossam haters you get around here are. So stop accusing me of whatever bullshit you're accusing me of (homophobia, pfft, nice try, I ACTIVELY ship Blygbank, Jemily, and ChrisMike; again, how about you actually take a look at my blog and PUBLIC likes before making baseless accusations) and actually read my damn post before you get offended and sarcastic and start attacking me and making nonsensical accusations. Never once did I say that the only way to like Rylan was to be delusional, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. Never. I specifically said I don't care what you ship. Again, it was targeted at the Lyan haters and people like them where they literally admit to that sort of thing. But okay, just make up lies about me because you're angry and miserable, that's cool too. Also I don't believe I ever said anything about race?? So I sincerely hope that part wasn't about me too. I'm literally in an interracial relationship and I'm the POC.

And seriously, how the fuck is saying someone saying it's disgusting for people to fetishize gay men render them a homophobe? That's the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard and the complete opposite of the entire point I was making with that statement. I'm LITERALLY saying it's disgusting for people to ship a gay ship if it's just because they have a fetish for gay people. We all know those people exist. Are they everyone who ships a gay ship? No, obviously not. But they exist and they're disgusting. That's the point I was making. That should've been obvious but again, I guess people can't see behind their rage to read that much. And I think just because I don't like this ONE PARTICULAR gay ship, you people were just waiting for the opportunity to call me a homophobe because it was easy even though it didn't make sense. But again, Blygbank, Jemily, ChrisMike, Jerin, and that's just from Supermassive Games. I like all kinds of ships, gay, straight, I don't care. Sexuality does not affect my opinion of any given ship. (Also, I made character playlists for the cast and put several gay artists in Dylan's, like Mike Taveira, JORDY, Passion Pit, all of whom I love dearly, and literally put a reference to Rylan but also putting Radiohead in Dylan's playlist as well, as Radioheads is the other Rylan ship name. But, you know, apparently I'm a homophobe. Whatever.)

Also, why try to attack me for being "new?" That's just weird. This blog is relatively new but I've been using Tumblr since I was 11. I didn't block anybody because I thought they wouldn't see my posts if I did, that's another crazy accusation and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I block people I don't even hate, I just block people whose content I simply don't want to see, plain and simple. Some people view that as a stretch, yes, but I literally temporarily blocked some people who were talking about the Until Dawn remake because I didn't want to see it at the time, I had nothing against the bloggers themselves though. Who the hell would even assume blocking someone would make them unable to see YOUR posts? It's the other way around. Again, that comment was just weird. Also, for the millionth time, I said I don't care what you ship and this was not some call to get people to stop shipping Rylan. So no, I will not be dying mad. Once again, I sincerely just don't care. If you like the ship, good for you. Truly. I'm only mad now because you people shoved lies in my mouth and called me/my opinions some very insulting, disgusting things.

This fandom clearly does fucking suck. Thanks for proving it. Also even some Rylan shippers say the fandom sucks, so what say you to that? The only good in the fandom is not Rylan and I very much enjoy tons of other The Quarry content. Again, check my likes. And Lyan shippers get a whole lot of hate so why are people who don't ship Rylan the only ones who need to change and not the people actively hating the Lyan shippers? Hypocrisy.

Now block me and leave me the fuck alone. Literally attacking me for no reason. I didn't even know you three existed. There were no personal attacks and I didn't call you any names. I didn't call anybody any names, but you guys sure did. "Personal attacks, what you say about me, insults from unserious people, how insightful," you guys really thought I was talking about y'all. It's just sad. You made literally all of this stuff up. You really should calm down and actually read my posts first or maybe just ASK ME if I was talking shit about you guys behind your backs if you were concerned or offended. None of this had to happen if you just calmed down enough to communicate like adults. Yet, I'm the one not being an adult here? Okay. Your attacking me and hatred for me is completely unwarranted and unnecessary. I was talking about other people. But NOW I'm mad. @erzivy @pandanomalous @ghostradiodylan (And if there were more of you, I don't care, just block me as well and move on.)

EDIT: These people still keep shit talking me and spreading lies behind my back despite calling them out specifically and just wanting to move on. Can't have this keep affecting my day to day life and clearly nothing that I do will stop them from shit talking me and speading lies so I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and block them and stop engaging with this bullshit. The amount of lies and evil things that have been said to and about me is fucking overwhelming over a goddamn video game. This is no longer worth my time, sorry. I actually have a life unlike you people. Edit 2: It got to the point where these people are making alt accounts to continue to attack me and I just... don't have the words anymore. All I'm gonna say about this one is that I didn't put fandom wank in the tags, I don't even know what that term means, that tag was only used by the people attacking me but there were a lot of reblogs/replies so I guess it got confused somewhere. You can't force people not to tag things. And it's not "bEcAuSe i'M nEw," everything I actually did tag I did intentionally so you know, people would see it? If people with an unpopular opinion about a series can't even tag said series then you're doing nothing but intentionally silencing them because you disagree with them, plain and simple. Also the Lyan haters always tag "Lyan" and "The Quarry" in their Lyan hate posts and I don't see you complaining about them. Again, complete and total hypocrisy and it's pretty clear this argument isn't about being fair or moral, it's just about what you want and demanding that your opinion is the only one on the website. Same thing with Hackearney as well, although I also don't ship them, everybody tags "Hackearney" and "The Quarry" on their Hackearney hate posts too and I don't see you complaining about that even though there are also people in this community who are fans of and ship them too. So why does this nonsense only apply to Rylan? Hmmm. Leave me alone now. Please and thank you. Edit 3 and hopefully final, to clear my name of all the remaining slander: I was not talking about anyone on Tumblr, I was talking about people in chat/comments on Twitch and YouTube who were bashing Lyan shippers, fetishizing gay people, and ignoring canon. TheCaitlinMarie was one of the streamers/streams this happened on, I forget the others now. I was watching/participating in a lot of livestreams at the time and a lot of people were playing The Quarry to prep for the Until Dawn remake. Not everything is about you, Tumblr. You people obviously won't believe me even after citing proof, but whatever, that's your problem. I spoke my truth. Also, saying "you need better reading comprehension skills" to insult me, me calling you out for insulting me, you going back to edit and delete that portion of your post, and then accusing ME of being the one that started that insult is one of the pettiest, most childish things I've ever experienced. Just yet again proves me even more right that you people are the nasty ones desperate to make yourselves look like the good guys and demonize me. Also, laughing at/mocking someone's triggers/trauma makes you trash. And thanks for admitting to intentionally talking shit about me behind my back so you could try to get away with it. And all of you ignoring/not replying only to the specific portions of my post where literally every time I factually proved you wrong, not taking back a single slur, insult, or accusation because you're mad and embarrassed I proved you wrong. Peace. Though you'll probably never find it. Edit 4: @camillabanilla Justice Smith himself said that the "maybe neither" line meant that he was interested in Laura, so his feelings for her are canon; not the ship itself, but I quite literally never said that the ship itself was. Maybe learn something or actually read my posts before running your mouth. Thanks for proving my point as well, I'll add you to the list of toxic conclusion jumping trolls.

[19burstraat]

anyone want to hear my six of crows x jane austen's emma au. yes of course you do don't be silly. the only person allowed to be silly is me as I descend into madness in the course of trying to cast this. (if you think 'I've heard this before' yes I've posted abt it before tho I think it was on my main)

kaz is emma, a bored, overintelligent rich bitch stuck in a country house with a bunch of shit idiot neighbours and almost no one to entertain or match him. fucking useless dad per haskell / mr woodhouse is a weaksauce hypochrondriac, and jordie / isabella has gone and got married and ditched kaz, the bastard. the only consolation is their neighbour inej / mr knightley, who is rich, sensible, popular, and elegible as hell... glory be, an intellectual equal for kaz!

in order to be less bored, kaz takes on a protege, mysterious randomer and natural son wylan / harriet smith, who kaz decides to mould in his own image and make a good match for. wylan is in love with gentleman farmer jesper / robert martin, but kaz is a snob and tries to push him towards local vicar kuwei / mr elton (I KNOW. I'M SORRY KUWEI), but that all goes tits up bc turns out kaz is a fucking terrible matchmaker, who'd've known.

meanwhile, unassuming and a little cold, but locally well-liked matthias / jane fairfax has arrived back in the village, and kaz busily commences hating on him because he's another accomplished young man and he makes him feel inadequate. hot on his heels comes the mysterious nina / frank churchill (NINA I'M SO SORRY I FUCKING HATE FRANK BUT THIS IS WHAT WORKS FOR THE COUPLES YOU CAN BE A NICE FRANK CHURCHILL ): ), who kaz is kind of fascinated by and enjoys sparring with, and hence kind of misses the really obvious signs that nina and matthias are secretly engaged, even though inej, ever thief of secrets, has lowkey noticed something's up, like matthias getting mysterious gifts from someone. kaz ends up being convinced that possibly it's inej that's pursuing matthias, which nina encourages because it helps her cover, and kaz kinda panics.

everyone has petty village drama which culiminates when kaz sneers at pekka rollins / miss bates (LISTEN. LI actually you don't need to listen bc I laughed out loud when I thought of this comparison but hear me out, if you just think of it as the equivalent of the church of barter scene except instead of 'I buried him' it's 'when have you ever stopped at three?' it kind of works. sorry to miss bates tho who is still kinda my fave austen character) at box hill, which culminates in inej going BOY WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM and kaz is like wow she kind of has a point should I be a better person :/

uhh what else even happens. there's a ball after nina massively encourages one, inej saves wylan from being partnerless and later dances with kaz (think of the gloveless dance scene from the 2020 adaptation? yeah? yeahh??). the regency gender conventions here are getting so messed up lmao, never mind. in emma harriet fancies herself in love with mr knightley and emma is forced to realise that she likes him, so let's say that wylan pretends to be after inej, in order to strong arm kaz into realising that he's wanted to marry inej this entire time. wylan's dad turns out to be minted (I'm stretching the book here to make it work w SOC but never mind) but that's after kaz has admitted he fucked up and sent wylan off to marry gentleman farmer jesper, yaaay. nina's relatives who are stopping her from marrying matthias die and hence there's a massive revelation with 'oh they were engaged this whole time lol', kaz is PISSED bc he didn't clock it. uh. everyone gets married and now kaz can escape the shit village and actually go places. the end.

[defire]

Back to the Dregs Part 5

Part 1 Next

Content: Beating, injuries, gaslighting, memories of child abuse including burning, gang violence, restraints

Michael ground his teeth as he tried to think of a way out that hadn't already failed.

He was trapped in a truck with the Westside Kids. His hands, zip-tied between his back, were numbly resting on the gap of skin between pj top and bottom. He was hyperventilating as Jordie seemed to be deciding whether to finish breaking his ribs. If his lung was penetrated, he could drown in his own blood. His breaths puffed against the floor as he struggled onto his knees, resting his head on the floor.

"Wait, please--" He groaned.

Jordie stepped toward him and Michael saw his leg pull back.

"Jordie I'm sorry!" He said desperately.

He cringed with his cheek to the floor as he awaited the next kick, but Jordie's foot came down on the floor instead.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Jordie panted.

Michael trembled, bound hands curling to fists.

"That's all you wanted?" His voice was low.

Jordie didn't answer, but Pete stepped closer.

"Now, sit up, kid. And listen to me."

Michael ground his teeth. He couldn't even keep track of his thoughts at all anymore, and his back was hurting like fuck and getting hot.

He forced his head off the ground and grunted at the pain in his ribs when he moved.

"Can I just, listen from here, Pete?" He panted.

His answer was a kick in the shoulder that sent him back-first into the wall of the truck, jarring his collarbone and forcing more air out of his damaged lungs.

"What--ugh--" He grimaced, trying to keep tears out of his voice as he pushed himself back with his legs.

"We haven't even got to the good part yet." Jordie sneered.

"Calm down, Michael." Pete said. "For now, all you need to know is, as long as you comply and don't be a baby about this, you'll be fine."

Michael clenched his jaw with frustration.

"Who knows, maybe this conflict goes well for you, and you end up safe with the Huers again."

"Safe, huh." Michael closed his eyes as his chest tightened with anxiety.

So getting caught by the Huers was the good option? Fuck.

Joseph Huer and his son, Morgan, were the only living "relatives" Michael had.

He had a good reason not to associate with them anymore.

It all flashed through his head in the time it took for him to blink a couple times.

"No, Mr. Huer." He heard his fifteen-year-old self grind out the words. "I'm not running your damn drugs. I'm not going to juvie for your stupid 'business'."

His voice had cracked all over that declaration. He knew, when Joseph Huer snapped his fingers and called,

"Morgan!" He had made a fucking mistake.

He tried not to remember the sizzling. He focused on the struggling, the screaming for help that was choked off by Morgan's grip on his throat. The way his feet burned--no, no!

"...No." Michael realized was saying it out loud, and bit his tongue.

He looked up at his kidnappers, fighting the urge to scream and throw himself at the doors, to provoke them, to make the thoughts stop.

The car turned and bumped over grass for a moment.

"Behave." Pete said. "Got it?"

Michael gritted his teeth.

"I don't cooperate with criminals."

"Ironic." Gabe laughed.

Pete smiled condescendingly, pulling out his piece. The Taurus.

"Oh, a Taurus." Michael said, forcing part of a smile. "Nice choi--"

"Beretta." The man cut him off. "Now you can either agree to behave or we can gag you. If I think you're actually going to escape, I'll just shoot you. Your only chance to live is by coming with us quietly. Got it, Michael?"

Michael glared as the truck shut off.

Then he took a breath and shouted,

"Help! I'm being kid--"

He broke off as Jordie slapped him.

"You were warned, bitch."

Slam. Slam. Smack. Slam. Jordie beat Michael's face into the side of the truck over and over.

Blood was running freely down his face by the time they dragged him into a smelly brick building by the arms, barely walking. It smelled like gasoline and cars, and as he plodded up the stairs, face feeling like a pounding mass of pulp, he heard his breaths coming ragged.

The upper floor was a huge, all-wood place, with rafters bare and piles of boxes and plastic crates being the only dividers in the room. Moonlight came in through a window on the far end of the room.

Michael was taken to a corner that was surrounded by crates, which were mostly covered by a few tarps and sheets.

When Jordie let go of his arm, he sank to his knees with a groan. He was hurting so much. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears. He'd bitten his tongue, and was now dribbling blood, unwilling to swallow it.

"So can we..." Someone said.

"Not till those bruises set." Pete said.

As a few electric lanterns were turned on, there was the tramp of heavy boots as a really big guy clomped over.

"Hey, no luck?" He said.

"You wish." Gabe said, gesturing to where Michael sat, drooling blood onto the picture of charmander on the leg of his pj's.

"Hey, how ya feeling?" The guy smiled and squatted down to get on Michael's level. "Hard night, I bet?"

Gabe scoffed.

"I--ungh." Michael's tongue ached.

"Hey," The guy patted Michael's shoulder, and he cringed. "Hey, no hard feelings. Sorry for the rough treatment. They don't mean anything by it, okay? Come on, look at me. Come on." His fingers teased gently under Michael's chin, encouragingly.

Michael lifted his wincing face up to look i nto the face of the speaker. He wasn't masked, just a stocking cap.

Pete and some of the others moved off a ways to talk amongst themselves.

"Hey, I'm Chris." The guy said, then paused, then asked again, "How ya feelin?"

Michael dropped his head with a small shake, hair falling forward on either side of his face.

"Hey Chris." He slurred, trying not to use his tongue. "My hands, so numb, and they ache."

He was so afraid. It had dulled to a slow pound of anxiety under the ache in his face and ribs. Something bad was going to happen to him. He wasn't going to let on how scared he was.

"Hey," Chris's voice dropped lower as he wiped tears and blood off Michael's cheek with his thumb. "It's not that bad, huh?" His tone changed when he saw Michael shudder. "...You fought hard, didn't you." He said.

Michael glared at him.

"I've seen my share of battles, so to speak." Chris said.

"Me too." Michael said. "Enough to know that you're just as much of a bastard as the rest of em. Maybe more."

Chris winced.

"Don't try to act nice, Chris." Michael raised his head again slowly. "I'm too tired for all that ssshit... Can you at least let my hands go? I'm going to get nerve damage..."

"The room's almost ready, man." Chris was a little colder now. "Look. I know it's been a hard night, so I'll chalk it up to that, but you'll probably be with us for awhile. If I were you, I'd consider making it easier on yourself. Honey catches the fly, you know?"

Michael shook his head, trying not to cry at the words "with us for awhile".

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," He started muttering, grinding his teeth to keep from crying.

At that moment, Pete came back, gun out, pointing more toward Michael's leg than anything.

The words his foster father had said that day flashed through his mind.

"Make sure he can't run to the police, that way."

Mr. Huer had said that as Morgan squished Michael's face into the rug, while Mr. Huer drew the heated poker out of the fire.

Don't burn my feet. Michael thought. It was like a mantra that his thoughts made every time this memory came back. He hadn't gotten to say it because Morgan was half-suffocating him. Even his scream had sounded more like a wheeze than anything, even though the pain had been the worst thing he'd ever felt in his life.

"Let that teach you not to speak that way to me." Mr. Huer had said.

Michael was snapped back to the present by a light slap on his bruised face. He winced hard as pain echoed into his skull.

"Michael." Jordie said. "Come on. Let's go."

Taglist:

@fleur-a-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @whumped-by-glitter @whumpwritings @mimostic

[codecan]

One thing that just IRKS me to my core about WDL is Dalton's death.

LIKE One: it was completely unnecessary IMO. There were many ways in which he could've lived and the games mechanics would've operated the same; he could have easily replaced the 3 starting operatives you get in the beginning. He could have also just been an NPC - despite that making no sense. Its not like Ubisoft hasn't just brought characters back; Jordi should have logically died falling off the lighthouse, Aiden was comatose, Bagley comes back after credits have rolled. He could have escaped, went into a coma, gotten shot a NORMAL amount of times, or have backup called. Easy solutions!! Including the fact that the VA had recorded lines for more of the game and no one mentions Dalton's death except Bagley in the police station, it just seems like a last minute cut. (Randomly generated characters can also be his relatives, which is not a solid piece of evidence but we don't see Sabine or any of the other NPC's family members around [NOT INCLUDING BRADLEY SKYE AND THEIR MOTHER.]) Two; HE IS ON THE MAIN MENU COVER. Every character on the cover is plot relevant (sabine, mk, malik, nigel, etc) and Dalton is just.. there. Sure he was relevant but he only had roughly ten minutes of screen time; that being the TUTORIAL. Three; We could've gotten to know more about him. Sure we don't know a lot about some of the characters (Jordi mainly), but DALTON WAS THE TUTORIAL GUY!! YOU'D THINK HE'D BE YOUR MAIN GUY! Four; The Sabine/Zero Day confrontation would have made a lot of sense if Dalton was the confronter, considering she GUNNED HIM DOWN OVER BARELY ANYTHING. Not even just a few shots, SHE GUNNED HIM DOWN LIKE THE DOG IN DUCK SEASON.

Five; so i can shut up about him.

[six-of-cringe]

I think that one of the reasons why people misinterpret Wylan's character and arc, among others, is because they misinterpret the relationship between him and Kaz. This post has kind of mitosised off from the BFWP (Big Fucking Wylan Post) I'm writing because it's a bit of a different focus and constitutes its own post.

A lot of people talk about Wylan's character and development as though it's meant to match Kaz's - starting out as a nice kid who the city forces to become amoral, indifferent to violence, and well-versed in crime. These qualities are usually talked about with a weird reverence as an irrefutable symbol of "badassery", as though it's always a positive development for any character regardless of the story's narrative, which annoys me but is not the topic of this post. That's part of the BFWP's job.

Following Kaz's exact development is not the point of Wylan's character. The point is that Kaz and Wylan narrative foils - very similar in many ways, but with a fundamental difference that creates the "broken mirror" effect/shows how they could have turned out if they'd chosen differently. I think that difference is how they respond when they climb out of the harbor after their respective betrayals. Narratively, Ketterdam represents a very harsh system that presents the people struggling there with very few options. You can either choose to ditch decency, play by the Barrel's rules, and live, or you can hold on to decency and die.

When Kaz returns to the streets after Jordie's death, he chooses the first option. He copes with what happened through ideas of revenge, and to survive long enough to see it he quickly turns to thievery and violence. He thinks to himself after he robs a kid for money and food that it was much easier to survive when you've left decency behind. He survived through violence, creating the Dirtyhands persona around himself for protection.

When Wylan has to fend for himself, he choses the second option. He finds "honest work" at the tannery, where they exploit workers and expose them to toxins. He wonders if he'll live long enough to use his savings to leave the city, or if the chemicals would kill him first. He was smart enough to steal and survive, but he chose decency, and with it, he chose death. There are a number of reasons why he chose differently than Kaz despite their similarities - his older age and thus more developed moral code, having no one to avenge but himself when he believed himself worthless, his more privileged upbringing, and his relatively low drive to live. Alone, he would have died.

Then Kaz steps in. Kaz's role in all the crow's lives is that, intentionally or not, his ruthless rule of the Barrel creates a sort of haven that allows them to survive where they would have died had they stayed alone. Wylan is a really clear example of this, and though Kaz's intentions were at least partly self-serving, his involvement both kept Wylan from dying of exposure or street violence as well as prevented him from needing to do the more terrible things that it takes to survive in the Barrel. Throughout the books, we see Kaz kind of taking the brunt of enacting violence in Wylan's place - traumatizing Smeet's daughter, killing the clerk on the lighthouse. Wylan could get by making explosives in the workshop rather than having to shoot or stab or beat the life out of people. And at the end of the series, Kaz sees to it that he never will have to. Of course Wylan did bad stuff to survive when working with the Dregs, it's the Barrel. But the extent is greatly lessened because of Kaz's involvement.

Wylan's arc was never about becoming comfortable with violence, or becoming just like Kaz - the way people characterize him as some sort of ruthless murder mastermind is inaccurate and redundant with Kaz's character. He isn't nonchalant or celebratory about crime or death or violence by the end of the book. He doesn't HAVE to become like Kaz, because Kaz himself gave him the space to continue being decent, intentionally or otherwise. Understanding that dynamic is important to understanding what Wylan is like as a character and as a person. If you assume Wylan's trajectory is to become "Kaz 2.0", then you're going to mischaracterize him. I've seen posts about how Kaz was the Jordie that he didn't have to Wylan, and I think that makes a lot more sense. Because Kaz is willing to do the horrible things in his stead, Wylan has the third option otherwise impossible in the Barrel - maintaining his decency and surviving.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3, part 2

Same as usual: famous or popular quotes being missed doesn't mean I don't like them it just means I don't have anything new to say, and some quotes will not have explanations because I just like them I don't really have anything to analyse

"But this wasn't cheap Barrel flash. A squat decked out like this took real money" - The relevance of this quote for me is all in the implication of the phrase "real money" and it's something I've spoken about on here before. When we use the phrase "real money" the general implication behind it is one of absurd riches, not a comparison of 'real' and 'fake' money. However Kaz's use of the phrase is arguably more synonymous with the latter, since we know for a fact that the people who succeed in the Barrel can become massively wealthy - I'm talking about people like Pekka Rollins, possibly even Tante Heleen. The implication of this specific phrasing is therefore more about the perception of wealth in the Barrel being fake because it's new money, not part of the inherited empires of the Merchant Council. Kaz is very aware of this perception and even in the concept of wealth and success sees a considerable disconnect between himself and the Kerch aristocracy, even if their actions are arguably just as criminal, but I think it's really important to note that Pekka Rollins doesn't see this gulf at all. He makes multiple comments in Crooked Kingdom that show him to see himself and Van Eck as equals, whilst Van Eck clearly doesn't return this, even going as far to call Kaz a "trifling piece of Barrel trash", as if they aren't from the same slums and weren't raised fighting for thier lives on the same streets. Although Kaz and Pekka's similarities are vastly important, I think we sometimes forget that their differences are as well - and this is brilliant one.

"hairline making a determined retreat from his forehead" - the Crows commenting on Van Eck's receding hairline is honestly one of my favourite ongoing jokes in these books

"When Kaz met his gaze, the man cleared his throat and pressed his fingers together.

'Mr Brekker. I hope you're not feeling too poorly,' " - sir are you actively trying to act like a supervillain?

"I'm going to pry that fat jewel from its setting and jab the pin right through your mercher neck for chaining me to a chair, Kaz thought. But all he said was: 'Van Eck' " - This is such a wonderfully unhinged quote and I love it so much, remember this is the first chapter we've had from Kaz's perspective and little things that this go such a long way for helping us to understand him! Kaz's thoughts are wild, they're violent and out of control, and often it appears that his actions are too. But he exercises the perfect amount of restraint, remaining to an onlooker frighteningly calm in the face of threat until the most opportune moment. He is in complete control of nearly every situation he finds himself in, even one as unexpected as waking up chained to a chair. In fact we see him remain relatively calm for most of this scene, until a parem-drugged tidemaker is revealed for reasons I went into in the previous part.

" 'You know me then?'

[...]

'I know you," he said, "You're one of those merch crusaders always trying to clean up the Barrel' " - Although it's definitely subtle, I find this to parallel Rollins meeting with Kaz in the Ice Court. Kaz enters the cell and Rollins says his name, prompting Kaz to ask if he knows who is, and Rollins replies "sure, you're that little skiv who's been stealing my customers". This enrages Kaz, because Rollins is failing to recognise everything he did to Kaz and Jordie. When KAz leaves the room he follows up on this by saying "you don't remember me at all, do you?". Rollins replies "Should I?" and Kaz says "Not just yet". This failure to even remember the boys fuels Kaz's hatred for Rollins even more, but I think we should address how similar these response patterns are. Van Eck is looking for a confession, or at the very least something small to confirm his suspicions, that Kaz was the thief who stole his DeKappel oil painting, but Kaz denies him any satisfaction and instead insults him for what is comparatively a far more minor thing to remember him for.

" 'What's the difference between wagering at the Crow Club and speculating on the floor of the Exchange?'

'One is theft and the other is commerce'

'When a man loses his money, he may have trouble telling them apart' " - I am OBSESSED. Leigh Bardugo just summed up the core theme of these novels and the basis of her setting in three sentences that the reader can immediately understand and support, as well as carry with them for the majority of the first novel and all of the second. Genius.

" 'One out of every five vessels you send seeking coffee and jurda and bolts of silk sinks to the bottom of the sea, crashes on the rocks, falls prey to pirates. One out of five crews dead, their bodies lost to foreign waters, food for deep sea fishes. Let's not speak of violence' " - ugh it's just so brilliant

" 'What business?'

It was the question spoken at the opening of any meeting. A greeting from a peer, not a plea from a prisoner" - Kaz is extending himself beyond what Van Eck has tried to confine him to, he's mocking the merch by using the language of business whilst Van Eck uses the language of criminals. This also parallels Inej trying to assert dominance over Dunyasha at Sweet Reef on the high rope in Crooked Kingdom, when she asked 'What business?' then comments that it 'felt absurd to say it 50 feet in the air'.

" 'You were first arrested at 10'

'Everyone remembers his first time' " - this boy is made of audacity and I am living for it

" 'I kill for a cause,'

'And what cause is that?'

'Same as yours, merch. Profit,' " - hell yes

" 'You see every man is a safe, a vault of secrets and longings. Now, there are those who takes the brute's way, but I prefer a gentler approach. The right pressure applied at the right moment, in the right place. It's a delicate thing,'

'Do you always speak in metaphors, Mr Brekker?'

Kaz smiled.

'It's not a metaphor'

He was out of his chair before his chains hit the ground. " - I'm in love

"everything seemed sunnier with a weapon in his hand"

"but not even Grisha could just stroll through a wall" - as someone who read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom before she read the Grisha trilogy (I didn't know they were sequels, I actually thought Shadow and Bone was a prequel so yeah) little things like this were super helpful to understand the world and learn about Grisha power. i read a lot of high fantasy so when we weren't given explanations for these things I didn't realise it was because I was missing information, but rather I just assumed the writing stye was to throw me in the deep and let me figure it out - which to be fair I had no problem doing, I didn't find the duology at all inaccessible despite my lack of prior knowledge. But therefore I thought of things like this as our introduction to who the grisha were an how they worked, since all I had seen of grisha power at this time was Anya on parem I thought this quote was a clever little phrasing to enhance the worldbuilding and help me as the reader distinguish between natural grisha power and parem-induced grisha power.

"the pistol was more useful, but the cane brought Kaz a relief he didn't care to quantify"

We're now officially halfway through the chapter! This is a long chapter, but it is a brilliant one too. I'm sorry to break this into yet another part, but it takes a long time to put these together and I'm ill at the minute so I'm going to leave this here for now and bring you part three another time - hopefully that should be the last part!! Thank you all so much for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it. I've been thinking about maybe expanding onto another platform like tiktok where I can verbally voice these ideas for you guys and you can ask me questions a bit more easily than on here (I promise I am looking at my inbox, sorry, I know you're waiting) but I only want to do that if there is genuine interest and people would be up for it. It wouldn't stop me posting content on here but a lot of the content would probably include overlap, and I would probably also use that account to talk to you about my own writing - I'm currently in the process of querying agents for the YA fantasy book I wrote and I would love to get it out there a bit and share it with you. Thanks so much, let me know what your favourite quotes from this chapter or other chapters are!

[useless-catalanfacts]

2022. Ceramists from Miravet (Terres de l’Ebre, Catalonia). Photos by Jordi Borràs Abelló published in La Mira.

Miravet is a small town located on the shore of the Ebre river. Thanks to the river, it has an abundance of clay that has been used since Prehistory to make pottery.

Raval dels Canterers (in Catalan, “the ceramists’ suburb”) is a historical area of the town where pottery workshops have been located. Some of these buildings used are original 18th-century pottery shops, in use since then. It’s located next to the river, where they take the clay they use to make the pottery.

The woman in the first photos is Montserrat Pedrola. She’s the 7th generation of ceramists, historical documents show that her family has been working as pottery makers since the 1700s. Before plastic became the most used material, a lot of everyday objects were ceramic, especially everything used to eat, drink, and store. Now, Montserrat and her sister continue their family’s job, but they make more decorative objects and smaller versions of the traditional recipients that some tourists buy. But they don’t have any younger relative who wants to learn the job.

Besides Montserrat’s, there are 6 more active pitch-makers in the town, all of them located in the ceramists’ suburb.

More information in the article “El mirall de Miravet” by Oriol Lleonart Padrell, La Mira.

[nyantodamax145]

On top of Jordi being back, did you see that new character that looks like a potential Beepy relative

Yes! Lucilla right? I love how she looks!

[whaleofatjme1920]

WAAAAAAH TY ELSIE

Headcanons for Cimmerian, Django (i miss him) Kondraki and Dr Jordi Gunn with a reader who's an archivist? They're like really discreet and doesn't like attention too

(I made the carrot cake btw, ill tell you in a different post)

Dr. Cimmerian, Agent Django, Dr. Kondraki and Dr. Gunn with an Archivist SO

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: Love talking abt my Jordi. ALSO praying Cimmerian never finds my posts abt his sona. </3]

Dr. Cimmerian

Yeah I think you two vibe pretty well. He doesn't really want a high profile when it comes to being in love just out of safety but little things he does gives it away pretty easily. Everyone just knows, y'know?

He comes to you for a plethora of research help even though you know he knows the answer and what's going on.

He likes coming down just to see you. He usually does this during slow hours just to respect your privacy and whatnot.

Will occasionally lessen your work load depending. If it's a restoration project or looking up certain histories and contexts, he'll find ways to make it easier for you. He cares deeply.

Agent Django

I don't think Django is like, the biggest showboat when it comes to love but he does like being a LITTLE obvious with his love. It kinda clashes with what you want but he respects your desires.

He's in the archives more often than not because of you. If something needs to be brought down, it's by his hand because he wanted to see you. He misses you when he's out and about.

Yeah he genuinely needs your help understanding some things. I think his hand is relatively steady too so he helps with some restoration stuff.

He will also help you update the databases and whatnot. Will bend rules for you because you do so for him. It really helps when he's out in the field and needs knowledge, like maps and stuff. Your abilities directly influence his, and vice versa.

Dr. Kondraki

He knows the archives better than he cares to admit. I almost want to say he's the reason you're in that position! And it was done because he loves you. He's very lowkey with his affection and love as well, so no worries there.

Essentially moves his office down to the office just because you're always down there, nose buried in a book as you attempt to preserve it. He values just being near you.

He always manages to route the most interesting artefacts towards you just to give you something fun throughout your shift. Asks a lot of questions just because he wants to hear you talk.

He's quite on top of your workload and while he won't be as helpful as Django, he offers support. It's awkward, but it's also the thought that counts.

Dr. Gunn

Gunn is quite sweet when it comes to love. He's not the most outward person about it though and this is just because he believes in work boundaries! So he won't smother you in love.

As for being an archivist, he has TONS of questions to send your way because he needs to understand what he's doing. His whole schtick is using SCP properties for everyone else's benefit, so of course he's going to be asking you questions based on artefacts and even trying to bribe you into letting him use those artefacts himself.

He's very helpful though. Will update databases for you, help you organize, and generally get lost in your work with you. He's got a knack for languages and will help you translate some texts that are much more historical than bargained for.

On being discreet, he finds ways to show his affection. I think one of his main love languages is touch, and it's usually during the late nights no one else is around he's able to love you.

[comicgeek2003]

Our Werewolfs are Different

This trope deals with variations of lycanthropy (i.e. werewolves).

The exact parameters of lycanthropy vary, but to meet the definition, a werewolf must be a person who takes the form of a wolf under certain conditions (the exact details do vary). Far and away the most popular concept is that a werewolf is a human who has somehow become able to temporarily transform (usually unwillingly) into a wolf that goes on to run wild (rarely remembering their romp). Usual methods includes being bitten, but a lot of depictions show lycanthropy as solely hereditary. Other popular causes include curses and typical mad scientist experiments. Like most werewolves, the classic wolf-man only transforms on the full moon, or, failing that, at night, though none of this is a given in modern works.

Examples:

An American Werewolf in London: The werewolf in this film is a definitely quadrupedal, over-sized animal, looking rather like a husky that has swallowed a large barrel, with limbs set more like a crocodile's than a wolf's; moreover, it has a howl like a train-whistle. Oh, and while Jack ambiguously dismisses the concept of a silver bullet, riddling the werewolf's body with regular gunfire seems to work just fine, as shown by the werewolf at the beginning and David at the end.

Garfield and Friends: In the episode "The Carnival Curse", Garfield receives a gypsy's curse that turns him into a wolf-cat when the moon is full. Note that he is never referred to as a werewolf but rather a "wolf-creature", which makes sense as "were" means "man".

The Howling (1981): The modern upright-beast man style made its popular debut in The Howling (1981), which featured infectious werewolves who otherwise acted as a species who could change at will and seem to retain their own minds, though with predatory instincts. A character points out that the werewolves must be killed with silver, while saying the full moon thing is just Hollywood made up stuff.

Doctor Who: The episode "Tooth and Claw" involves an alien intelligence that could possess people and turn them into a Wolf Man form, and jump (or reproduce) between bodies by biting. Called a Lupine Wavelength Haemovariform, acts like a sentient virus, and had designs on possessing Queen Victoria.

Teen Wolf: Werewolves are sub-categorized into Alphas (dominant), Betas (subordinate) and Omegas (lone). Only an Alpha can actually infect a person with lycanthropy. The werewolf trait can be, but is not always, passed from parent to child, so werewolf families exist. It is possible for an individual werewolf to change their status. For example, a Beta can become an Alpha by killing one. This is not easy however, since Alphas possess much greater power than Betas and Omegas. It is also possible for a Beta to ascend to Alphahood through strength of will and character, but this is shown to be extremely rare, as the main protagonist is the only character to achieve this so far.

Buffyverse: Werewolves occasionally pop up in both "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and sister show "Angel" in different varieties. The show's lycanthropy can be transmitted by bite regardless of transformation state, displays a heightened sense of smell, and a vulnerability to silver and deadly injuries, like a ripped throat or bullet wounds. They change three times every moon cycle: the night of the full moon and the two surrounding nights. The most well-known werewolf characters are Oz (who was bitten by his younger cousin Jordy and learned to suppress his normal transformations after a long trip to Tibet), Veruca (a minor love interest of Oz's) and Nina.

Harry Potter: The Lycanthropy is transmitted by bites, and results in uncontrolled transformations during a full moon utilising like many, many modern versions the tragedy of "The Wolf Man" from 1941. Werewolves are discriminated against by the Wizarding society despite their relative innocence. They are dangerous to humans, but not to other animals (or Animagi). No cure exists, but a Wolfsbane Potion allows them to keep control of their minds during the transformation. Good werewolf Remus Lupin takes the Wolfsbane potion to keep his, whereas the evil Fenrir Greyback doesn't care as he is bloodthirsty as a human anyway. It should also be noted that werewolves are only created when bitten by another werewolf while in wolf form. If bitten by a werewolf in human form, they may garner a few traits (a desire for bloody meat, a temper issue, etc.), but will not actually become a werewolf.

Howl (2015): The werewolves in this film have a somewhat more human-like appearance than most portrayals, with the major wolf-traits present in their anatomy being their golden eyes, pointed ears, jagged teeth, claws, noses and digitigrade legs. Otherwise, they still possess distinctly human features including being largely hairless. Lycanthropy infects and turns new people into werewolves via bites; but unlike the mainstream depictions of werewolves, this version of lycanthropy is treated as a pathogenic mutation which slowly and increasingly transforms the victims and makes them lose their human identities in a zombie-like manner. The transformation after infection appears to be one-way and permanent. It's unknown if the full moon has any influence over these werewolves or the disease that turns them (the film's events take place on the night of a full moon).

Futurama: In a direct parody of "An American Werewolf in London" (and Turbo Teen), the episode "The Honking" has a curse that can turn any mild-mannered robot into a werecar. Unlike the hovercars the characters in the show are familiar with, these cars are "crawling around on round rubber feet... like a wolf!".

Hellsing: The Captain, one of the villains, is a werewolf. He has several forms which he can go between at will, ranging from a human to a mist-like Dire Wolf. In all forms he has massive physical strength and speed with a healing factor.