#regina mills/tinkerbell

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Weight Of A Heart

Summary: Tinkerbell had held Regina's heart. She still holds it even after it is back in Regina's chest.

The weight of a heart isn’t so heavy. 

Not when it is held in the palm of one’s hand, physically and beating.

Each heart has its own weight, Tinkerbell imagines.

Darkened hearts are heavier than fully bright ones.

Blackened hearts are the heaviest of them all. 

Or maybe it is just something that she is imagining... 

Maybe the only reason that the heart feels heavy is because it is beating in her hand. 

Maybe she is imprinting the weight of a decision on something that is not heavy at all.

Regina doesn’t protest. 

She doesn’t beg and she doesn’t cry. 

Not until Tinkerbell mentions her son. 

“You love him don’t you?”

And she is seeing a different woman entirely. A woman who wears an expression that does not befit the dark heart beating in the fairy’s hand. Love. She can see it in Regina’s eyes. She can see it in the tear that slips down her cheek when she says that she finally did something right. 

The queen says a lot of things. And Tinkerbell has grown to distrust every single word. But she can’t bring herself to doubt the sincerity of her words.

She loves her son. 

And Tinkerbell imagines that that is why her heart isn’t entirely black; why it still has a small but vibrant red glow to it.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do.” She says. 

And Tinkerbell can’t help but wonder if she truly wants to live at all. She thinks that Regina does, but not for herself. Not for herself at all. 

For her son.

For the one thing that she got right. 

And what kind of fairy—wingless or not—would she be if she had a hand in an innocent boy meeting some type of fate at the hands of a devious little fiend like Peter Pan. He has been a shadow and a blight on so many lives for too long. 

“I’ll give you your heart back, but I won’t help you.” Tinkerbell swears. 

She has never been good at sticking to promises. 

Not when the promises are dismal and unkind.

Especially not when she is met with sad, teary eyes.

She should know better.

She is too trusting.

And that has been exploited time and time again.

Too many times. 

Her heart may not be tiny and inky. But it has cooled considerably and it has grown terribly stony. 

Maybe she and the queen aren’t so different.

Maybe that is why she had been drawn to her in the first place, all those years ago. 

Blue had always told her that she was a bad fairy. Implied that she was a bad person. And maybe that is what Regina had been. A means to an end, albeit with genuinely good intentions behind it. A situation where everyone wins; two troubled souls fixing each other. 

Naive.

She had been naive. 

And Regina had been scared. 

What a dreadful, poisonous combination. 

Tinkerbell had bitten off more than she could chew. She should have known that a little bit of pixie dust and a glimpse at a soulmate wouldn’t have been enough. Not for someone who has only seen how love can hurt. Not for someone whose heart had already grown cold and stony. Regina hadn’t needed pixie dust. 

She needed a friend.

Someone who could have shown her that love isn’t such a terrifying thing. 

But she shouldn’t have lied. 

She shouldn't have have left Tinkerbell to feel as though she was the problem. That she was a dreadful, useless fairy. Shouldn’t have left her to take all of the blame. 

And Blue. 

She thinks that she is angry at Blue most of all. Blue who made her feel so small and so inadequate that she felt compelled to meddle in something that she had no business tampering with. 

Blue who dwindled her confidence so far and always made her feel like she had to prove herself. Sometimes she thinks that Blue liked to single her out. She couldn’t have been that horrible and troublesome, could she have?

And that is why she finds herself tagging along afterall, to save the son of the woman who’d cost her her wings. 

She promises herself that she won’t sympathize too much. 

That she is doing this for the boy, Henry, and him alone. Maybe for Emma too. 

She promises herself that she won’t even talk to Regina. 

She is so very bad at keeping promises. 

And Regina is so very good at making herself easy to talk to. 

Actually she is rather quite terrible at it. She is prickly and standoffish. And most of the time it is hard to keep a conversation with her going where small talk is concerned. 

But Tinkerbell finds herself content with that; she isn’t really one for lengthy conversations these days.

What has she gotten herself into?

Surely she isn’t growing fond of the Evil Queen. She wouldn’t…

She couldn’t.

She knows that she isn’t the Queen’s soulmate.

But when Regina gets her son back it becomes set in stone. She has this look in her eyes, she wears this smile. And she flashes it at Tinkerbell. Tells her that she might not have gotten her son back…her and Emma’s son back—they’re still working on that—without her help. Emma says it too. Snow White and Prince Charming, tell her that she had been helpful. That she brought their grandson home. 

And Tinkerbell feels like a fairy again. 

For the first time she feels like Blue had been wrong about her. 

That one mistake might just come to pass. 

Even if she doesn’t get her wings back, it isn’t such a bad thing to see Regina and Emma happy. It certainly isn’t a bad thing to see Henry, the real Henry this time, smiling and healthy. 

.oOo.

It is hard to approach her. Someone who had the best intentions. Someone who had never done her wrong. Someone who’d she’d done wrong all the same. Regina has spoken with Tinkerbell several times over but it never seems to get easier. Never seems to get any less awkward as far as she can tell. 

At first it was because she hadn’t apologized. 

Now it is because she apologizes too much.

She can never seem to find a comfortable in between with anything, let alone with people and relationships. 

“You’re pulling back.” Tinkerbell mentions one day. 

And she, not quite as clever and articulated as she had initially thought herself to be replies, “I’m more of a pushing away type of person.”

To her relief, Tinkerbell gives a snort and a chuckle. “Oh? Is that right?”

Regina nods. “There is a difference between pulling back and pushing away.”

“Care to explain it?”

She isn’t exactly sure if Tinkerbell is asking in earnest or in jest. So she replies just in case. “Pulling away is the withdrawal of oneself from the relationship. Pushing away is doing everything in your power to compel the other person to withdraw for you.” 

And Tinkerbell laughs again. Regina’s face reddens, the fairy had almost certainly been asking in jest. 

“But you did run away? From Robin Hood. I’ve never seen someone withdraw so expertly.” 

Regina clears her throat. “It wasn’t quite expert. You see, I got lost on the way home and ended up circling back to that tavern. So it wasn’t quite as swift of a departure as you might have imagined. In fact, I think that I met his glance for a moment…” She doesn’t know if this little story is making the situation better or worse. She isn’t exactly one for jokes, dark or otherwise. They never seem to land well coming from her lips.

But Tinkerbell is laughing again. 

“It stands to reason that I am much better at doing and saying things that push people away.” 

“Not from where I stand, it doesn’t seem that way.” 

“Well, I’m not exactly giving it my best effort this time.” Regina confesses. She presses her lips firmly together and knits her brows. “I don’t want to push you away, I want a friend. I want a lover. And you’ve treated me very well. Despite everything you…you’re a good person.” She pauses. “I’m not. It wouldn’t be fair for me to…” she gestures vaguely at nothing in particular. “You deserve someone who can actually…” But that isn’t quite what she wants to say either. “You held my heart. You saw what it looks like. You deserve someone who can actually love another person.”

“You can love another person, Regina. I already saw that with you and Henry.”

“Yes. Maybe.” She replies. “But you don’t think that it would be awful for me to find a lover while you still have no wings?”

Tinkerbell quirks a brow. “Then what do you call these?” She stands up and unfurls a pretty pair of green wings. She gives them a good flap, it is not unlike watching leaves rustle caught in a hot summerbreeze. They shower a small dusting of gold like dust motes in a haze. “I got them back after capturing an evil shadow.”

Regina smiles. She doesn’t do it often but it is getting easier these days. She smiles for Henry and for his willingness to give her another chance. She smiles for Emma who is open to letting her join the Charmings for dinner now and again. And she smiles for Tinkerbell who says the right thing and seems to understand her; both her dark sense of humor and what it is like to hate someone who wronged her so much that it began to take over her life. She understands what it is to have a touch of darkness. What it is like to have someone telling her that trouble or unworthy is all that she will ever be. 

“I’m very glad to hear it…see it. You deserve to have your wings back. You only seemed like a terrible fairy because you took on such impossible tasks. Blue hadn’t even tried…” Not many people tried to save her. Not during the time period when salvaging her was possible. The helping hands had all been extended far too late and she had bitten every single one of them. 

And Tinkerbell is holding out her hand now. 

Quite literally.

“I didn’t take on an impossible task, Regina.” She swears. “Let me help you find your soulmate. I’m sure that he’s…”

Regina takes a sharp breath. “I think that maybe the pixie dust might not lead to the same place.”

“Well, yes! I can’t imagine that he’s still at that same tavern…”

Regina takes Tinkerbell’s hand. “That’s not what I mean. I think that, maybe, if you did use the pixie dust again, that we wouldn’t have to walk–or fly–very far this time.”

Tinkerbell furrows her brows. “Oh, well…” she trails off. “Oh. Oh!”

Regina grimaces and rubs a hand over her face, if only to keep the fairy from noticing the second blush creeping onto her cheeks. Evidently her entire face very well could be red this time. 

“You. Are you trying to tell me what I think you’re trying to tell me?”

“Well I guess that that would depend on what you think that I’m trying to tell you.” 

“Regina, do you…are you in love with me?”

“I think so.” She hasn’t felt love in such a long time. Perhaps she is mistaken. She doesn’t think so. “I don’t think that we need to solve everything with pixie dust…or magic. Henry and I have been working on the not using magic thing for a while not. It hasn’t exactly been doing well. But I think that we’ve decided to make an exception for using magic to do good things…” She is rambling. Making herself look ridiculous.

“Henry might be onto something. We have hearts for a reason. Sometimes they know what’s best.” Tinkerbell agrees. “In fact, I know lots of people who have fallen in love without magic or pixie dust to guide them. Blue told me that I need to believe in myself more or no one else will; that I needed to trust myself. Maybe you do too.”

“Good advice from a sketchy person.” Regina clears her throat. “Not that I am a good person, myself but nobody is asking me for advice so…”

Tinkerbell laughs. “You’re a fine person, Regina.” 

Regina swallows.

“You want to do right by people now and that has to count for something.”

“I suppose.” 

“It counts to me.” Tinkerbell recipes, authenticating her words with a peck on the cheek. 

Regina’s stomach tickles and her heart flutters. 

Her cold, small, hardened black heart. 

She thinks that it might have some warmth in it again. Some softness.

She holds Tinkerbell’s hand to her chest, right over her heart. 

“I needed someone to believe in me. And you need someone to believe in you.”

Regina swallows that lump in her throat and nods. She is getting teary again. “That would be very nice.” 

And her heart hammers in her chest. 

Tinkerbell holds her hand there for the longest of time. 

The weight of a heart is a heavy thing. 

But a heavy heart can grow light again.

Light and fluttery and warm.

[yellowbugifs]

293/365 days of regina mills

[grtmnick]

Yes emma.sq.regina on Instagram, ^^ is exactly how I remember that scene from cannon as well.

[his-lost-one]

making this type of meme is genuinely so fun

templates are from pinterest again btw

[victoriously-regal]

Rewatching the show yet again and I'm currently on s3 ep3. I forgot how much I love this episode. Regina bitching to Tinkerbell about Snow is actually hilarious. The fact that Tink agrees with her makes it so much funnier. I love the brief 20 seconds of friendship we had between them so freaking much. Also, Tink being the OG outlawqueen shipper is the best thing ever.

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

The gang is in neverland trying to save henry.

Neal is alive and everyone did think he was dead, rumplestiltskin almost killed him. But he's alive and just got rescued by emma in the echo caves.

Hook and emma kissed which is confusing and concerning to both of then.

Snow and david realize they fucked up missing out on emma and snow wants another baby.

David can't leave the island due to the water to cure the dreams hade being from the island.

Regina and tinkerbell have a nice Sapphic viking history. But tink doesn't have magic anymore after regina didn't go meet her true love robin hood.

Peter pan is a little fucking asshole who likes to terrorize rumplestiltskin for whatever reason.

Fake belle keeps talking to him. Mentioned wanting to have a baby. But rumple is determined to be good.

And ariel with the scatterbrains of scuttle has been entrusted to swim to storybrooke to get something for regina and rumple.

[elisgeorge]

Ok but what if Regina had been shown the Swan pendant when Tinkerbell showed her her true love. And then when they get to Neverland, Tinkerbell is PISSED because she knows Regina spent years looking for Emma before she became the Evil Queen and now Emma is RIGHT THERE and she's, what, ogling a pirate?

[dinneratgrannys]

ONCE UPON A TIME REWATCH: 3.03, QUITE A COMMON FAIRY You said I can let go of the anger that was weighing me down, and suddenly it felt like without it, I would just float away. That anger was all I had. What would I be without it?

[goosin-around]

Regina: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Tink: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Regina: No! Four to five seconds!

Tink: Too late!!!

[insanelydeadlybookcollector]

Watching 3x03 Quite a Common Fairy of Once Upon a Time and I'm struck by how layered the storytelling is.

Forget the past feeding the present - either as the same character learning from or remaking the same mistakes, or the past of one character showing a parallel of the present of another. That's standard for this show. And powerful in itself. Same as the character parallels that are alway present, and always powerful.

This one draws direct lines between Regina and Tink, Regina and Robin, Killian and Emma, Henry and Emma and Roland, Rumple and Neal, Pan and Rumple and Neal and Henry, Pan and Hook, Snowing and Captain Swan, Snow and Emma, Regina and Henry, Regina and Neal, etc.

And my favourite - Killian, Emma and Neal as Philip, Aurora and Mulan (Mulan and Neal both leaving one situation to arrive too late to the couple they have no chance of being part of anymore).

But there are so many other parallels:

Neal and Rumple: with Neal manipulating, actively, Robin into sacrificing his son by leveraging him with his old deal with Rumple.

Neal making his deal with Robin (unwilling) [but does it because Neal says he owes him] paralleled to Killian making his deal with Tinkerbell (unwilling) [so Killian lets it go]

Or is Roland who Neal uses the way Killian uses Tinkerbell, thus making Robin and Regina the ones paralleled as the ones doing the bargaining? In both cases Neal and Killian are directly paralleled and strongly implied that one is good, the other not so. In both cases, it is the group that boosts the confidence of the person leveraged for usefulness, not the one with the idea - ie Robin, Mulan, Little John protecting Roland, saying they'll protect Roland to Robin, and Regina, Emma. and Snow being the ones to convince Tink to help.

The single parent/sick parent and living parent story of Marion/Robin/Roland and Snow/Dreamshade!David/Emma -- And how this play continues through the season.

Tinkerbell and Neal making promises they know they can't necessarily keep but make the promise anyway.

[the-regal-reginamills]

I never thought tea dates with Tinkerbell would ever be written down on my daily planner. But now, I find myself quite interested in the glittery gossip she has to give. Turns out, a certain flower fairy ran off with a polar bear prince, and now not even Mother Superior can find them.

[yellowbugifs]

Although a tongue has no bones, it has the ability to break a heart.

[victoriously-regal]

is it just me, or does Regina have a thing with blondes?

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

"He may look like a boy but he's a bloody demon"

Yes the fuck he is. Evil little fucker.

"I didn't need thr magic water I had this magic sword."

"Yes the magic sword that was fake"

"And that's what defeats nasty little boys."

To be fair that would defeat me too because I am not a very patient person.

Perhaps I would

*GASP AND CLUTCHES CHEST*

Ugh that creepy doll again.

Creepy haunted doll.

Fuck you pan.

CoNgRATs OrPHaN.

RUDE

You can find them Bae!

"I'm afraid it would cause your death and more importantly mine." Fair.

Toes up!

If only he used that line on belle when kissing her "the darkness likes how you taste"

Totally getting homoerotic vibes from tinkerbell and regina.

I can see them being together and blue finding out her kid is queer then giving her a lecture to straighten up literally.

My boyfriend???? Hook???? No emma. Pan.

In favor of blonde Robin vs brunette.

And sooo glad he owes rumple a favor.

And when tink didn't straighten out and snuck out with her gf again blue disowned her and now she's homeless. Then she finds out regina didn't feel the same or do the thing and she got disowned for nothing and now she's mad.

Fly away moth?

Regina is the queen of bitchy one liners.

Regina never knew tink got disowned and was homeless and omg if I had known! I was just scared!

Robin's like... wait a fucking second we're endangering my adorable son's life for your potential gf?

Shadows must be stupid. Because Neal's hiding spot had me dying.

Oh God the pain in Mulan's eyes. I can see the ship wrecking.