#regardless whatever amount of time it was is insane for present-day me

[wordybee]

Damn, I start reading Tamora Pierce books again for the first time in almost fifteen years and suddenly my smartphone-destroyed attention span is restored to what it was when I was twelve and devouring books daily.

[susandsnell]

im sorry to drop a fuck marry kill with men into a lesbians box but um ok. fuck marry kill: scarecrow:nolan verse. JOKER:joaquin phoenix. the riddler: THE BATMAN.

Fuck / Marry / Kill

cinthia why are you the funniest person alive. this has cursed me for seven generations.

Okay this is going to be my most "hear me out" of all "hear me outs" except for one answer, but you knew that when you put this insanity in my inbox.

Fuck: deep inhale. I am prepared to accept bullying for this for the rest of my life from you, and that's okay, I'm at peace with my fate. okay okay so. I am not in any way, shape or form attracted to The Batman's Riddler/Edward Nashton. HOWEVER. This man is so fucking bizarre and funny that the reason I'd go for it is literally just to see what would happen. Like, we're talking a scientific approach here. That and I'm good at puzzles, and, idk, I like when men are pathetic like Flik from A Bug's Life so I feel like it'd at least be entertaining. Besides which @bethjohanssen literally once said Reeveseverse/B22 Riddler "looks like a sad lesbian" so it's easier to pretend.

Marry: Easiest answer if you've looked at my blog for more than 5 minutes. Dr. Jonathan Crane, you are my horror movie gothic supervillain blorbo for life in (almost) any iteration, including the funniest possible one where your plots don't add up, you change roles constantly, pop up places you shouldn't, and serve massive amounts of cunt while being the most compelling guy around who isn't named Harvey Dent while being given comparatively so little. He likes lawyers canonically so him and me will hit it right off, and despite very contrasting personalities, I think we'd actually get along okay? I can prep him for his career changes, we can be literary nerds together, and whatever I lack in terms of physical interest in him, I can make up for by being juuuust messed up enough for him to have material for ages. Plus marriage will help with taxes for a guy who takes so many varying gigs all the time! Also you can easily control this Scarecrow by pulling his hair.

And if Nashton is lesbian adjacent, whooooo boy Nolan!Crane...

Kill: Second easiest answer. I do hate to let you down, but since 2019 and through to the present day, I did Not Care For Joker (2019). Phoenix turns in a perfectly serviceable performance, but I find the character's writing to be the apotheosis of cringey SOCIETYYYY~ Flanderization that the Joker gets in pop culture, his tragedy is kind of so overdone it turns into the Frank Grimes episode of the Simpsons halfway through, and he's not nearly funny or compelling enough to balance this out. There's something viscerally unappealing about this version which may be The Point, but also makes this call a lot easier. I'm also just genuinely Not A Joker Person (I love Harley too much) (oversaturation), so this decision was going to be made regardless, but Phoenix Joker is about to Get What He Fucking Deserves (for his movie giving me a massive headache when I saw it in theatres).

thank you so much, I laughed my head off over this

[lovefrometernity]

Eternity, a Vent, and an Update on Reality

So. I got Covid, as of Sunday (but more precisely, I probably got it last Thursday thanks in part to someone at my LGS… gotta love that.) and while I still feel like hell I finally have enough brainpower that isn’t screaming at me because existence is OW to continue my weird infrequent writings and just get a bunch of shit off my chest.

Buckle up, this is gonna be a long ass post.

Normally, when I need to vent in any formal capacity, I go to my backyard. It’s quiet, gives me access to both fresh air and sunlight, and makes me look less like a crazy person compared to going up to my roof (which is technically illegal anyways). But because of the whole “I caught the bug” thing I’m trapped in my room. And therefore trapped with the mental insanity I’m normally capable of releasing out to the universe.

This manifests in a myriad of ways, all of which concern me for various reasons.

Manifestation Number One: I have a playlist of my more… shall I say ‘emotional’ songs. Normally, this playlist only gets used during moments of intense strife. The songs on the playlist, for those who know the lyrics to each song, aren’t for the faint of heart. They’re designed to help rationalize whatever fucked up mental space you’ve found yourself in when you arrived.

In case you couldn’t tell where this is going already. That playlist has been on repeat for three days now. (In case people actually want a summary… I’ll probably type out a separate post for that.)

Manifestation Number Two: I have a bad habit of burying myself in work whenever I’m overly stressed in a desperate and vain attempt to distract myself from whatever it is that’s causing the stress. As far as that’s presented itself since I got the Sickness it’s… been surprisingly difficult to find work that distracts for very long. Granted, there are cool projects I’ve gotten to tinker with as a result of this but procrastination is still procrastination regardless of the form said procrastination takes.

Note to future self. Do one of these written posts about how ridiculously weird the rabbit hole of mashup albums go. Wait where the hell was I again?

Oh right. Going total stream of consciousness because words literally don’t make sense otherwise. Which means I was gonna talk about-

Manifestation Number Three: I don’t remember having hallucinations to such a high frequency as I’ve had in the last three days. For those who are reading this and learning this for the first time, I’ve had mild auditory and visual hallucinations stretching back to my middle school days (thank you blended smoothie of mental health fuckery) but only in the last couple of days has it risen up to the 'please what the hell is wrong with me why am I like this' level. I don't see my therapist for another few days but hopefully she can help talk a mild amount of sanity into me to get me through the second half of this extended accidental vacation from reality.

I mean. If there’s any amount of positive from this. I have been asking for a break from the universe for some time now. Granted, this is absolutely not what I meant but the cosmos works in mysterious ways sometimes and hopefully my next broadcast from the stars brings some more positive news.

See y’all around.

PS. To my friends in the Coterie who got sent this post in the middle of the night, worry not. No matter how battered or bruised I am on Sunday I’m gonna be there to kick me some Varidel ass. I’m gonna go sleep for 36 hours.

[your-local-vamp]

Ahhhhh!! It’s my very first story! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time lolol. I had a creepy stalker vamp idea the other day and here we are! I usually write stories with male vamps and female humans, but boi on boi action got the best of me this time. This is also (I think?) the first story that I don’t use actual names for the characters. I actually prefer it like this, it just adds more spookiness! Anyway, I rly hope that someone will read this and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :3

Btw this story contains some explicit themes (knives, blood, stalking, etc) so make sure to check the tags before reading!

Aura

“Sup, bro!”

I can already see my two friends waving and yelling at me from a distance. I haven’t been out much lately, but they happen to be very persuasive. So here I am, running towards them, thinking I’d be late otherwise. I finally reach them, gasping for some needed fresh air. “Dude, why were you even running?” one of them decided to ask.

“I’m-Sorry-Missed-Bus-.“ I can barely breathe, but try to utter some words regardless. “Yeahhhh, whatever you say man. Anyway, you ready to take off?” Air has finally returned to my lungs and breathing seems to go smoother now. I smile at them. “Yes, let’s go.” We continue our way forward, but something makes me look back over my shoulder. Not this again… Nothing’s there, but I can’t help but look anyway. “Hey, are you okay?” My friends have walked back to see why I stopped.

“I-I’m fine. Let’s just go.” I won’t hesitate to walk away from this feeling. The same feeling I’ve been having for a month, if not more. I can’t really explain it. It’s just like some dark aura is around me all the time. But whenever I look back, it’s like it was never there in the first place. I don’t dare tell anyone about it, what if they think I’m insane or something? So, I just forget about it whenever it happens. I will have to do the same now.

*a few days later*

There’s nothing else on TV, so I decided to watch some stupid show. It’s at season 8 and I honestly have no idea what’s happening, but I’m on the verge of falling asleep anyway. My eyes get heavier by the second. I hear a loud sound coming from the kitchen. I instantly get up, any sign of sleepiness now long gone.

While my heart is rapidly beating in my chest, I quietly walk towards the kitchen and prepare for the worst. Ready to throw hands, I jump in the doorway. But there’s nothing there. I could’ve sworn that the sound was like someone was in here with me. I check every single room in the house, but to no avail. No-one seems to be here. I really need to chill down. First the weird feelings, now this. I sigh deeply. I should probably just go to sleep.

*several weeks pass by*

Heavy plastic bag full with groceries in hand, I walk back to my apartment. Grocery shopping is one of the many things I hate in life, but I need to get food one way or another. Thank god my house isn’t that far from the store. I tend to get very hesitant about going outside most of the time, but the aura hasn’t been around at all the past few days. I was a bit confused at first as to why it had stopped so sudden, but I decided to just take it by heart and go on with my life. I’m glad that I don’t have to worry anymore. Ah, I can see my apartment already. I walk a bit faster, being a little too excited about the microwavable instant meal I get to eat when I get there.

Now upstairs, I open the front door and close it behind me. I quickly walk to the kitchen and drop the heavy bag on the counter. Phew, I made it. I quickly put the meal in the microwave, being unable to wait any longer. “Guess I’ll wait for it in the living room.” I say to myself.

“What the fuck?!” Going to the living room was a terrible idea. I nearly got a heart attack, seeing that a complete stranger is sitting down on my couch. Any person in their right mind would probably get out and call for help right now. But I can’t for some reason. It’s like I’m frozen in place. “Quiet it down please, Darling. We don’t wish to alarm anyone, now do we?” the stranger calmly says.

The man still remains seated on my couch. An emotionless expression present on his face. He seems to be around mid twenties, about the same age as me. I can’t help but take an observing look at him. Pitch black hair, the brightest blue eyes, clothed in all-black. His charisma is piercing through the tense atmosphere. He seems to be totally unbothered about his presence here. I, on the other hand, am not so happy about this entire situation.

I’m not sure whether his intentions are good or bad, but I’ve got a funny feeling that he’s not here to drink a cup of coffee with me. I need some kind of protection just in case he decides to attack me. The knife! I remember having left a knife on the counter, after opening the packaging of my food. I’m thinking about what’s the best way to get to the kitchen, never losing eye contact with the stranger during the progress. Alright, just run there, grab it, and be ready to defend yourself.

I take a short sprint towards the kitchen, knife already being in my sight. I reach out to it, but something unexpected happens. The stranger, who was seated in the couch just a second ago, now stands in front of me, holding the only object I’ve got within my reach to protect myself with. “H-How…?” I look at him, being shocked out of my mind. How did he get here so fast? That’s impossible. “Oh, Darling. You disappoint me ever so much.” the stranger sighs. What could possibly disappoint him right now?

“Why are you here.” It’s more of a statement than it is a question. “I get to meet you at last, but you seem to be unhappy about that.” he responds. At last? The gears in my brain finally catch up. It was him. That feeling, the aura. It was him following me all this time. Confusion mixed with a lot of anger take over my body. “Ah, my Darling gets it now. What a beautiful sight this is.” He really needs to get rid of that stupid smile of his, or I’ll wipe it off for him. “Why? Why the fuck have you been stalking me?” I spit. A dangerous glint of anger appears in his eyes. However, I will not back up now. I want answers. “I thought that you were different.” he says, through gritted teeth. “From who?”

“The other humans.” He’s comparing me to other… ‘humans’? “You see, you wanted to grab this knife here. To ‘protect’ yourself, I presume.” He brings the object close to my throat, now obviously dominating me. I gasp when the sharp blade touches my skin ever so slightly. “But not once did you give me a sign that you wanted to grab it. The others always showed that they wanted to make a run for it. How very foolish of them.” he says with a smile. “And you’re disappointed, because…?” My comment carries a lot of sass with it, but at this point I don’t care about the consequences. The stranger didn’t seem to mind, on the contrary, it made him burst out into laughter. “You have asked the two most infamous questions. ‘Why?’ and ‘how?’. It pisses me off.” he says, while still smiling. I seriously can’t read him. He’s exceptionally happy, even though I know that he’s very angry at me.

“You never answered.” I say. The stranger finally drops the knife on the counter, but doesn’t hesitate to take a step closer to me. “This is why I like you. You’re afraid, but trying so hard not to show me.” he says. “Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?” He grabs my chin in between his thumb and index finger and lifts it up, forcing me to look at him. His eyes, which once were a beautiful blue hue, have now turned into the most spine-chilling dark red. Not to mention, he has now bared his teeth as well, showing me 2 pointy fangs. I’d be lying if I said that he doesn’t look extremely intimidating. “You know, the movies are all wrong. We don’t coexist with you humans. We kill you without mercy.”

“Y-You’re a v-vampire…?” I can’t help but stutter, fear is taking over me at last. “Obviously.” The stranger is glowing with pride. He probably loves scaring his prey like this. “Vampires aren’t real.” The air grows even more tense than it was before, if that’s even possible. “Trust me, Darling. I am very real. I can hurt you in more ways than you can imagine.”

“Then answer me this. Why me?” I really don’t want to piss him off even more now that I know what he’s capable of, but I have to know why. “I wonder why you’re so desperate to have an answer to that question.” I gather up all my courage to respond to him. “Like you said, you can hurt me in many ways. And that’s ultimately what you’re here for, isn’t it? You’re going to kill me. So my last wish is for you to answer me.” It’s quiet for a while. He just looks at me. After what seems like an eternity, he smiles. “I see.” Is all he decides to say. The smile never disappears. I feel like what I said provoked him even more.

“You know, now that I think about it, I have a much more fun idea in mind.” My unpleasant gut feeling seems to have been proven right. “Sorry, Darling. This is going to hurt.” I can’t say or do anything, or he has already taken yet another step towards me. He leans my head back and buries his fangs deep inside my neck. His actions are quick and eager.

I try to get him off me, but his grasp on me is too strong. These powers are definitely something inhuman. “Ngh!” Sounds of pure agony escape my mouth. A huge amount of blood is getting sucked out of my body. I can feel that I’m staring to lose consciousness. I reach for the knife on the counter, but it again fails to protect me. The man violently grabs my wrist to prevent me from harming him, and applies a good amount of pressure to it. I can’t help but drop the knife. It falls on the floor with a loud metal clink. He raises his head and looks at me. His red eyes are clearly visible.

“Tsk. Did you really think that you could do that?” He smirks at me. “You’re not going to get away with this.” He nonchalantly continues sucking my blood. “S-Stop it. P-Please…” I use every last bit of strength I have left to resist him, but soon after, my body gives up. My eyes shut themselves, but I can still feel the stranger lifting me up and exiting my apartment. It doesn’t take long for everything to go dark.

*???*

“…has been missing for 5 months now. He was last seen walking towards his apartment after being at the grocery store. The police has released pictures of blood drops and a knife on the floor in the victim’s apartment. ‘There is an obvious sign of struggle.’ one of the policemen states. They are currently investigating the crime scene and the blood samples are being researched at the laboratory. A highly praised detective is on this case as well. ‘To the people who did this: turn yourselves in, before we have to come find you.’ the detective said during an interview. If you have seen the victim or know someone who has, please call your local police station. Any information about the victim or the culprit is much needed. That was it for today’s news. We’ll be back tomorrow at 8 PM. For now, good evening everyone!”

[illuminating-darknesss]

This is to the love of my life: to the one that has my whole heart.

I can’t even begin to explain how overwhelmed I feel as I am trying to come up a few words to describe you and how important you are to me as I am afraid that I won’t be able to do you justice, but I shall try.

I have always been someone who regardless of how much ever I wanted to be loved, I kept my walls up sky high, because at the end of the day everyone leaves. They walk away. And I know that it takes a very long time for me to completely drop all my guards and to trust you with my heart. That did not stop you. You stayed.

You are incredibly stubborn when it comes to particular things- especially when it comes to people that you care about. You love endlessly and selflessly without ever expecting a single thing in return.

I have known you for exactly one year, 8 months and 19 days- and while in the grand scheme of things it may not be a long time, but our friendship is testament to the mere fact that the duration you have known someone for, plays no part in how much you love them and how strong the bond is.

While our dynamic is that, and I am not naming names, where one of us is absolutely crazy and constantly gets us into an infinite amount of insanity, and I genuinely don’t how that is even possible and one of us has to bail the other out most of the times- when the time came, you have always, without a doubt, been present in the way that you knew I needed you to be.

I am sorry for all the heartache that was caused to you by those who did not realize your value in their lives. I am words beyond thankful and blessed. And so grateful for having god place you in my life and for having fate have our destinies intertwined. I promise that I won’t ever let you go. You will definitely outlive me but we are going to go through every single chapter of our lives together, with each other by our side.

You help bring out a little bit of my crazy, and you’ve helped me become much more comfortable with who I really am- who I have been suppressing for so long because I was absolutely terrified that I would not be accepted. You helped me become more comfortable in the body that I was given- constantly surrounding me in an atmosphere filled with positivity and love.

You have answered every single one of my calls, granted that your data was on and your phone was switched on regardless of whomever you were with and whatever you were doing. You have always, reciprocated my energy, with the same enthusiasm or more. You are wholeheartedly there when I want attention and love and you join in when I am yelling and screaming about all sorts of frustrating things. You take everything that happens to me personally, as if you’re going through it yourself and you are protective of those that you consider precious.

I have never met an individual who loves like you do and who frustrates me like you do. We yell at each other and at times, for no good reason except it being solely playful and scold each other when necessary and if need be, smacked some common sense into each other too.

We’ve laughed when we fell down staircases or tripped on solid ground or slipped but only to without hesitation extend our hands and help each other up again. You’ve wiped tears off my face when my heart was breaking, you’ve stayed on call hearing me bawl my eyes out and talk about how much pain I was in and you’ve hugged me for as long as I needed.

You’ve given me space when I wanted to be alone but not without leaving a small note to cheer me up or bringing me back food. You took care of me whenever I got sick and I got sick a lot. You did not make an issue out of me not being able to talk but rather communicate through text when breakdowns leave me completely out of energy, you understood when my anger got the best of me and in turn, went quiet and you listened and trusted me when I told you that regardless of how angry or upset I get at your actions, not for a single moment do I love you any less. You were the person that I deeply needed in my life.

You let me be my own individual without expecting me to change myself and you accepted every single thing that made me who I am.

You will always hold a special place in my heart.

You are my yellow.

[whitehotharlots]

CRT and the sad state of educational politics

If our culture is studied 100 years from now, the predominant theme of the research will be a sense of perplexed revulsion toward how we did nothing to address the climate crisis in spite of having decades of forewarning. If there is a second theme, it will be a profound confusion regarding our immense and unearned sense of self-certainty. A retrospective of the early twenty first century would be titled something like Who the Fuck Did These People Think They Were? 

The latter theme is illustrated in the debacle surrounding a recent slew of municipal and statewide bills that seek to ban the teaching of Critical Race Theory (CRT) in public schools. For the record, I am strongly against these bans. But I’m also self-aware enough to know my opinion matters very little, and therefore realize that an analysis of the discussion surrounding the bills will yield much more worthwhile observations than a simple delimitation of their pros and cons. Regardless of your personal opinion, I hope you’ll humor me.

I am, in some regards, a moral absolutist. But I also realize that abstract morality has very little bearing on material and political realities. In my ideal world, classrooms are free from political meddling. Teachers teach to the best of their ability, presenting students with truths that are confidently unvarnished due to the thorough amount of work that was required to reach them. I don’t cotton any of that socratic bullshit. Students are there to learn, not to engage in weird Gotchas with some perverted elder. The teacher’s job is to teach. The material they teach needs to be subjected to some graspable and standardized mechanism of truth adjudication before it is worthy of being taught. Teaching is not therapy. Teaching is not poetry. Teaching is not love, nor is it religion, nor is it a means of social or political indoctrination. There are plenty of other avenues available to accomplish all of those other things. Teaching is teaching. 

That’s the ideal. But ideals are just ideals. They never come true. The art of teaching, regardless of setting--from overpacked classrooms to face-to-face instruction to curricular design to nationwide pedagogical initiatives--boils down to a teacher’s ability to reconcile the need to convey truths with social and political pressures that are heavily invested in the suppression of truth. 

I have formally studied and practiced education for nearly two decades. In that time, the prevailing political thrust toward education has been a desire to casualize the practice of teaching, to render educators as cheap and fungible as iphones. The thrust takes different shapes depending on the political affiliation of whomever happens to be in charge of the state and federal governments that fund education, but the ultimate desire is always the same. The goal is always to attempt to make teaching rote and algorithmic, something akin to running a google search for How to do math? or What is morality?. The framing is always just windowdressing, empty culture war bullshit. 

Maybe it’s the inescapability of this thrust that’s rendered so many educators so blind to it? We only have nominal political choice, after all. The discourse gets more blinkered and vicious as the stakes decrease. At any rate, this is the undeniable reality, and anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t worth listening to. 

Non-administrative per-pupil spending as been on a steady decline since George W. Bush was president. Administrative bloat and meddling are becoming as common in k-12 as they are in higher education. The will of parasitic NGOs are implemented as common sense pedagogy without anyone even bothering to ask for any proof that they work. The so-called Education Reform movement is sputtering out due both to its manifest failures and rare, bipartisan backlash. But it will be replaced with something just as idiotic and pernicious. The thrust of causalization will not abate. 

And so what do we decide to do? What’s the next big thing on the education policy horizon? Critical Race Theory. 

Okay, this makes sense. In 2021, a local paper can’t run a news story about a lost cat without explicitly mentioning the race of every human involved and possibly also nodding toward the implied cisnormativity of pet ownership. So it makes sense that this broad rhetorical mandate would come to dominate the transitional period between Bush-Obama Education Reform and whatever bleak future awaits us. The controversy is so perfectly inefficacious that its adoption was inevitable. Because, seriously, it doesn’t matter. Regardless of the outcome of this kerfuffle, no problems will be solved. The real shortcomings of public education will not be addressed. Larger social problems that are typically blamed on public education in spite of having little to do with public education will especially not be addressed. Maybe white kids will have to do struggle sessions in lieu of the Pledge of Allegiance. Maybe black kids will get full credit for drawing the Slayer logo in the part of the test where their geometric proof is supposed to go. Or maybe it won’t happen. Maybe instead these practices will be banned, and in turn liberals will begin to embrace homeschooling, the charter movement will be given new life as a refuge against the terrors of white supremacist behaviors such as, uhh, teaching kids to show their work. Whatever.

Within the context of public education, the outcome will not matter. It cannot matter. There will be broader social impacts, sure. It will continue to drive Democrats more rightward, providing their party’s newly woke corporate wing with progressive-sounding rationales for austerity. But so far as teachers and students are concerned, it won’t matter.

Why do I give a shit about this, then? To put it bluntly, I’m struck by the utter fucking inartfulness of CRT’s proponents. At no point has any advocate of CRT presented a case for their approach to education that was at all concerned with persuading people who aren’t already 100% in their camp. There’s been no demonstration of positive impacts, or even an explanation of how the impacts could hypothetically be positive. In fact, so much as asking for such a rationale is considered proof of racism. Advocates posit an image of existing educational policies that is absolutely fantastical, suggesting that kids never learn about slavery or racism or civil rights. But then... then they don’t even stick with the kayfabe. They’ll say “kids never learn about racism.” In response, people--mostly well-meaning--say “wait, umm, I’m pretty sure they do learn about racism.” The response is “we never said they don’t learn about racism.” You’ll see this shift from one paragraph to the next. It’s insane. Absolutely insane. 

Or take this talk from a pro-CRT workshop in Oregon. The speaker freely admits that proto-CRT leanings like anti-bias education, multiculturalism, and centering race in historical discussions have been the norm since the late 1980s. The speaker admits that these practices have been commonplace for 30+ years, as anyone my age or younger will attest. Then, seconds later, the speaker discusses the results of this shift: it failed. Unequivocally:

We had this huge, huge, huge focus on culturally relevant teaching and research. [ ... ] So you would think that with 40+ years of research and really focusing and a lot of lip service and a lot of policies and, you know, a lot of rhetoric about cultural relevancy and about equity and about anti-bias that we would see trends that are significantly different, [but] that’s not what we’re finding. What we’re finding that you see [is] that some cases, particularly black and brown [students] the results, the academic achievement has either stayed the same and gotten worse.

Translation: here’s this approach to teaching. It’s new and vital but also we’ve been doing it for 40 years. It doesn’t work. But we need to keep doing it. Anyone who is in any way confused by this is a dangerous racist. 

Even in the darkest days of the Bush-era culture war, I never saw such a complete and open disregard for honesty. This isn’t to say that Bush-era conservatives weren’t shit-eating liars. They were. But they had enough savvy to realize that self-righteousness alone is not an effective way of doing politics. You need to at least pretend to be engaging with issues in good faith. 

This is what happens when a movement has its head so far up its own ass that it cannot comprehend the notion of good-faith criticism. These people do not believe that there can exist anyone who shares their basic goals but has concerns that their methods might not work. Their self-certainty is so absolute and unshakeable that they can proffer data demonstrating the complete ineffectiveness of their methods as proof of the necessity of their methods.

For decades, the most effective inoculation against pernicious meddling in education has been to lean upon the ideal form of teaching I described earlier in this post. We claimed that teaching is apolitical and that no one is trying to indoctrinate anybody. Regardless of the abstract impossibility of this claim, it has immense and lasting appeal, and it was upheld by a system of pedagogical standards that allowed teachers to evoke a sense of neutrality. The prevailing thrust in liberal education is to explicitly reject any such notions, and no one--not a single goddamn person--has proffered a convincing replacement for it. We still say, laughably, that we’re eschewing indoctrination. But people aren’t that stupid. If you find it beneath yourself to make your lies digestible, people will be able to tell when you’re lying to them. 

This, my friends, bodes very poorly for the future of education, regardless of whatever happens in the coming months. A movement that cannot articulate its own worth is not one that is long for this world. Teachers themselves are the only force that can resit the slow press toward the eventual elimination of public education, and they have embraced a worldview and comportment style that renders them absolutely unable to mount any worthwhile resistance. 

[th3atr3phant0m]

Gender

Perhaps Zim was just missing out on something, but he really didn’t understand why some of their peers treated DIb in the way that they did.

Of course, part of that could have to do with the fact that Zim hadn’t transferred into their school district until a few years ago and hadn’t known everyone there as they knew one another, but that didn’t make things any clearer, in his eyes.

Zim was no stranger to the cruelty of his fellow humans. He had learned a great deal about how people worked and the terror that came with them when he lived in the orphanage, so seeing people treat Dib like garbage wasn’t inherently strange but the way in which they did it certainly was.

Their peers almost constantly belittled Dib for his intense passion for the paranormal and extraterrestrial. Ever since he was a child, he had been incredibly interested in both of them, and that interest had only grown as he did. He put forth seemingly endless amounts of his time and energy into studying his passions. Honestly, Zim found it admirable. Unfortunately, though, many of their peers didn’t feel the same way, claiming that he was obsessed and insane. Considering how frequently Dib ranted about the paranormal and the intensity with which he did it, Zim could understand that, though.

What didn’t make sense to him were the strange things that they said to Dib in regard to his gender.

On more than one occasion, Zim had heard their fellow students refer to Dib as a girl or tell him that he looked or sounded feminine in some way or another. Zim couldn’t understand why. It was very clear to him and anyone who attended school with them that Dib was a guy. It wasn’t just the fact that he wore masculine or androgynous clothes- any idiot knew that clothes didn’t really mean anything- but the fact that Dib exclusively responded to male pronouns.  It was obvious that Dib wasn’t a girl and that he wasn’t comfortable with being addressed as such, so why did so many of their peers do so? Even people as ignorant as some of them were had to pick up on the fact that Dib was a man- or so Zim thought. Clearly, he was giving them far too much credit, though.

Sometimes, when Dib got irritated with others, they would make some idiotic comment about him being on his period or something along those lines. It always just worked to piss him off further, but it upset him in a completely different way than their comments about him being a freak did.

Despite the fact that Dib looked incredibly masculine, their peers would frequently tease him about how feminine he looked or acted, invalidating his masculinity almost as an easy insult to fall back on. It was clear that their words had more to do with getting a rise out of Dib than having any actual truth to it, but that didn’t make it any less nonsensical.

Zim had no clue why their peers made those comments towards Dib, nor why they upset him so much. The two of them were far from being friends- Zim would even say that they were enemies, in some ways- but he wasn’t cruel enough to stoop to that level. While he didn’t’ completely understand why that was a sore spot for him, he never harassed him about it like the others sometimes did. It felt wrong in several ways- not to mention the fact that it was a pathetic move.

Not understanding what it was that he was missing out on and wanting some answers, Zim decided to ask Dib about it.

~~~

Dib and Zim were not friends. They fought almost constantly, practically at war in several aspects. They always did everything in their power to beat the other at every turn, refusing to allow the other to have a single success without putting up a fight. They battled for the title of valedictorian, for the highest grade on each assignment, for the most clever and creative insults and comebacks to said insults, and for the best ideas. To the untrained eye, it seemed as though they hated one another with every fibre of their beings.

That didn’t mean that Dib didn’t pick up on things about the other, though. In fact, in many ways, it made him more attentive to changes in Zim than he was to changes in anyone else. Considering how much of his energy and attention Zim had, it only made sense for Dib to notice things.

They were small day-to-day changes, but, considering Dib’s own history, he couldn’t help but pick up on them.

Zim’s style, though very consistently inconsistent and a chaotic mix of anything and everything he liked- something that Dib couldn’t help but admire at least a little but- seemed to change near daily. One day, he would wear a button-down shirt with a clashing vest and the next day he would wear a dress with fishnet stockings underneath. Zim’s style seemed to vary between feminine, masculine, and androgynous regardless of whether he was wearing something formal or casual.

As someone who had gone through the festive experience of attempting to “subtly” switch between masculine and feminine while figuring out how to comfortably express his gender without getting harassed, Dib couldn’t help to liken it to his own experience. While Zim hadn’t gone to their school when Dib was first beginning to realize and attempt to express his gender, the practice of putting forth a lot of effort into presenting a certain gender for a few days before deciding that was too emotionally taxing and giving up for a few days was… familiar. While DIb couldn’t be certain that Zim was doing what Dib had been doing back then, it was incredibly similar, and he couldn’t help but liken the experiences to one another.

It wasn’t an incredibly strange thing- it wasn’t as though Zim acted or spoke any differently depending on the day- but it was something that had Dib curious. Was Zim transgender as well and struggling with coming out? Was he just experimenting with different styles? Was he just being the weird, chaotic person that he was by keeping his style and presentation up in the air?

Whatever it was, Dib wanted to know, but he didn’t exactly have the opportunity to ask.

That is, until Zim brought something up one day at lunch.

“Why is it that our peers sometimes refer to you as a girl?”

Dib nearly choked on the juice he was drinking, “What-?”

“Why is it that-”

“No, I heard you the first time,” Dib shook his head, clearing his throat. He really wasn’t expecting that question- especially so abruptly- and he didn’t really know how to answer it. “Because people are assholes?”

“Obviously,” Zim rolled his eyes disdainfully, though Dib had a feeling that was directed towards their peers rather than him, “Is there a specific reason, though?”

Zim hadn’t been going to school with them when Dib had still been presenting as female or even when he first came out as trans, but he still assumed that Zim just… knew . Considering everything that his peers did and said to him, he assumed that it was obvious that he wasn’t biologically male. According to them, he didn’t pass very well. Did Zim just not understand the concept of transphobia, or did he genuinely just… not know ? Neither seemed likely, all things considered.

Not completely trusting that Zim wasn’t just dicking with him, Dib narrowed his eyes slightly, “Because I’m trans.”

Zim blinked, seemingly taken aback, before some sort of realization began to dawn on him, “Oooh. So you are a trans woman? Then why does it bother you when-?”

“I- no,” Dib face-palmed, “I’m a transgender guy . I’m a man and they’re going out of their way to misgender me to piss me off.”

Zim’s expression changed completely, anger replacing the confusion, “What the fuck is wrong with people? That’s pathetic.”

Zim wasn’t naive- he knew just as well as Dib that people could be absolute assholes and that they didn’t always need to be provoked to do so. He wasn’t a stranger to harassment from their peers, either, and, considering the fact that they weren’t friends , Dib didn’t completely understand why Zim seemed to care. Regardless, it was nice that at least someone didn’t think what they were doing was okay.

Dib propped his chin up against the palm of his hand, “What about you?”

“Eh?”

“Do people ever go out of their way to do that shit to you when you wear dresses and stuff?”

“Misgender me, you mean?”

Dib nodded.

“Not the same way that they do with you.”

He raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Well, when they call me ��he” on my femme days, it’s not because they’re trying to be cruel. It’s usually when they actually call me the correct pronouns that they’re intentions are shit.”

“Femme days?” Dib echoed, thinking, “You’re gender-fluid?”

“Was that not obvious?”

“Was it not obvious that I was a trans dude?”

“No, actually.”

Dib blinked, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Zim tilted his head to the side, “You know that when people say those things to you, they’re just trying to upset you, right? None of it is true. You look like a normal guy- well, normal for you .”

Dib rolled his eyes at the insult, but he didn’t take it to heart- he never really did when Zim insulted him. At this point, they had lost their bite. He was more focused on the other things that Zim had said, “Thanks.”

Zim seemed to think for a moment before speaking again, “Do you think that I pass well?”

“Assuming I’m actually guessing which days are which for you? Yeah.” Dib leaned back in his seat, “You’re pretty androgynous already, so you can pull off any look, to be honest.” As much as Dib loathed the concept of complimenting his enemy, they were having a peaceful conversation for the first time in a while and Zim had shown him some kindness as well, so it didn’t feel too strange to say it.

Zim nodded but said nothing and they soon lapsed into a comfortable silence.

After everything that he heard from the others they went to school with, it was nice to hear from a few people that Dib looked like a guy. He couldn’t help but feel a little more comfortable now that he knew this about Zim- as though knowing made sharing his own truth with Zim slightly less vulnerable. Somehow, Zim understanding in his own way made it less awkward. It was nice to have someone in their school who understood- it was nice to have something in common with Zim.

~~~

A few weeks had passed since Dib and Zim had discussed their genders and nothing much had changed. One thing that Dib had noticed was that their peers began to mock and misgender Dib less than usual and it was obvious that this was no mere coincidence.

While it wasn’t obvious to Dib immediately, it soon became clear to him that Zim was actually defending him when people attempted to harass him about being trans.

Initially, Dib had no proof that this was actually happening. It was just a theory of his that Zim had been stepping in when the situations arose, but there were a few things that happened here and there and bits and pieces of conversations that he picked up that made him feel fairly confident that his suspicions were correct.

Dib’s hypothesis was finally confirmed weeks later in one of his classes.

Nothing too out of the ordinary happened. Jessica had gone out of her way to misgender Dib on more than one occasion in the past. Regardless of that, hearing her refer to him as a “she” in front of the entire class and being met with snickers from their peers made his stomach twist with anger and distaste. No matter how many times it had happened, it still hurt.

Dib had never been one to stay quiet about something important to him- hell, he had openly yelled about the paranormal in the middle of class several times when they were back in middle school- but before he could say anything, Zim cut in.

“It’s he , actually, and if you had more than half a brain cell, you would know that.”

Dib blinked, taken aback, and so did Jessica- though he was certain they had completely different reasons for doing so.

Jessica turned on Zim immediately, fixing him with a glare, “What did you just say?”

Zim leaned in and narrowed his eyes as well, not at all deterred by her attempted threat, “I said Dib is a he and, if you had-”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell,” Zim tilted his head, “Your expression is so constantly vacant that it’s almost impossible to tell when anything actually gets through your thick skull.”

Just as Jessica’s boyfriend stood up from his seat to intervene- almost definitely violently- Ms. Bitters cut in, “That’s enough! Everyone sit down and be quiet.”

Both Jessica and her boyfriend shot Zim glares but did as told. Zim just smirked, satisfied with how things had turned out.

Dib couldn’t help but gape at the entire scene before him. Zim- his rival and archenemy- had just stood up for him publicly . While Dib had had a hunch that Zim had been trying to help somehow, he hadn’t expected to see such an open expression of it- especially not against one of the more popular and easily agitated people they went to school with. Dib was genuinely surprised.

When Zim caught his gaze, he gave Dib a pleased, somewhat smug grin- probably at least a little proud of himself for shocking Dib so genuinely. Dib could practically hear Zim teasing him about the “stupid look” on his face.

Dib rolled his eyes, trying to seem nonchalant. It was hard to pretend that what happened hadn’t been a big deal, though, when the warmth spreading through Dib’s chest was so pleasant and prominant.

~~~

Zim hadn’t expected Dib’s reaction to seeing him correct Jessica in front of their class, but he would be lying if he said that the look on Dib’s face didn’t make him happy. There was something about bringing Dib joy that made Zim feel good as well, regardless of their stance as foes… plus the stupid look on Dib’s face was perfect .

That wasn’t the only thing that Zim hadn’t anticipated coming out of the situation, though.

A few days after the incident with Jessica, Zim twisted in the correct combination for his locker to gather some of the books he would need for his next class. When he did so, though, he was met with something that hadn’t been there the previous day.

Sitting atop his other belongings was an envelope labelled with his name on the front. There was a small bulge in the package, showing that there was something more than just a note hidden within the crumpled paper.

Raising an eyebrow curiously, Zim picked up the envelope, books forgotten.

He peeled back the seal before shaking the contents out into his hands. The colourful beads that tumbled from the paper almost slipped through Zim’s fingers and clattered to the ground, but he managed to catch them to avoid that disaster. Alongside them was a small slip of paper.

Setting aside the note and the envelope, Zim unclenched his fist, revealing the beads so he could take a closer look at them.

They were not, in fact, loose beads. Instead, they were three different bracelets, each made of differently coloured glass and stone beads with a single silver bead on each of them. One bracelet was fuchsia and rose quartz with a silver space ship on it, another made of amethyst and violet stones with a single rocket bead, and the last a bright mix of chartreuse and emerald beads with an alien charm.

Zim blinked, holding them up to the light so he could get a better look at them. The glass beads shone pleasantly and the silver charms on each one shimmered happily. He couldn’t deny that they were beautifully crafted.

After a moment of examining and admiring them, Zim turned his attention back to the slip of paper that had accompanied the pieces of jewellery within the envelope.

Hey, Space Boy. I saw something online about some gender-fluid people wear different bracelets corresponding to what pronouns they want people to use for them on certain days and I thought these could be helpful for you. I wasn’t sure what colours to use, but you wear pink, purple, and green a lot, so I figured they would be a safe bet. If you want to use them, tell me which ones correspond to which pronouns or whatever so I get it right.

- D.M.

Zim couldn’t help but grin. He’d thought about doing something similar in the past, but hadn’t acted on it, not really anticipating anyone actually respecting it. This gift from Dib, though, proved that at least one person would and, as ridiculous as that seemed, it brightened Zim’s day.

Smile still playing across his lips, Zim slipped on the green bracelet before carefully tucking away the other two in the front pocket of his backpack, irritation briefly dissipating at the thought that someone did care.

The beautiful cover art for this story was draw by @sams-art-shit​!

I originally posted the fic here on Archive of Our Own. If you liked this, it’s part of a small series, so please check it out, if you’re interested!

[straycat-writes]

fuubutsushi // 風物詩 (oda sakunosuke)

fuubutsushi // 風物詩 (japanese, n.) - the feelings, scents, or images that evoke memories or anticipation of a particular season.

requested by: anonymous

It was spring the first time he saw her, the mild early April air carrying with it the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. She was curled up with a book in a quiet corner of the quaint little café he used to frequent, completely lost as the words on the pages painted a picture in front of her.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and Oda must have stood there for a full five minute, wondering whether or not he should approach her and strike up a conversation. With mellow sunlight streaming in through the window beside her and a steaming cup of coffee on the table, she seemed almost too serene, too…picturesque for him to disturb her.

But humans have an innate instinct, a tendency to notice when they’re being looked at. She looked up from her book, slowly taking in her surroundings before her eyes finally landed on him. Oda would have liked to look away, should have looked away but he couldn’t bring himself to. When he blinked slowly, she gave him a dazzling smile, and that was all the encouragement he needed.

He approached her, a charming smile gracing his handsome face, “Is this spot taken, ma’am?”

“Not at all.” She smiled, gesturing in front of her, “You’re very welcome to stay.”

He sat down, looking at the blue and gold cover of the book still glued to her hand. On France and Poetry. He raised a curious eyebrow, “Baudelaire?”

“Among others.” She nodded, rather wistfully, “Baudelaire was insanely talented, but it’s a shame he has become so synonymous with French poetry that people barely pay any attention to others.”

“And who do you think deserves more attention?”

“Well, many others.” She said, then smiled sheepishly, “Although I have an affinity for Paul Verlaine.”

Oda laughed, “Ah, one of the romantics*. I must admit they do have a dreamy quality to their musings.”

Her eyes lit up at that, “Right? I understand the appeal of realism and all, but nothing compares to this particular form of expression, and Verlaine definitely did it better than anyone else.”

“That might have had something to do with his muse.” Oda reflected, “They do say he was on love with Rimbaud.”

“He shot Rimbaud.” she laughed, “Twice.”

Oda grinned coyly, “We all have our love languages.”

They sat there and talked for hours, about anything and everything, and each time she laughed at something he said, Oda swore he heard windchimes somewhere in the distance. It was almost evening by the time they realized that they couldn’t stay there forever, curled up in a world of their own that started and ended in a cozy little café. When she left, all Oda was left with was a messily scribbled phone number and beautiful name to go with it. He smiled.

It was summer the first time the thought crossed his mind that he might be falling for her. They had been going out for a few weeks now. It was a stiflingly warm night, and the smell of freshly mowed grass mingled with that of the salty sea breeze as they walked back after having dinner together, his hand intertwined with hers. They had stopped at the docks to admire the nighttime sea for a moment, when he finally plucked together the courage to tell her what he did for a living, telling her that it was fine if she wanted leave after this.

She cried. Each tear felt like a rip in Oda’s heart and he desperately wanted to console her, but he wasn’t sure if she would like being touched by him now. Then she got angry.

“You told me you wanted to be a writer.” She said through gritted teeth, “Tell me, then. Have you ever taken a life?”

The question took Oda by surprise. It took him a while, but he answered nonetheless, “…Never.”

“Why?”

“Because…” he began, then frowned, looking down at his feet, “Because then I wouldn’t have the right to be a writer anymore.”

More tears spilled down her cheeks, “Then why do you consider me shallow enough to leave you now? Do you really think that low of me?”

Oda was dumbstruck, unable to articulate even the simplest of thoughts. He had been ready for anything she might have had to say, but not this. Even after he told her everything…she still refuses to leave?

“Say something.” She frowned, lightly putting a hand on his chest, “You cannot hope to be a very good writer if you cannot even find the words to articulate –“

Oda couldn’t stop himself. He kissed her. The kiss was soft and true, tasting of subtle longing and slightly of the saltiness of her tears. And something else he couldn’t put his finger on, something far sweeter and much more delicate. They were both out of breath by the time he let go, and as he looked at the small smile fighting its way to her lips, at her rosy cheeks and shining eyes, Oda was sure he was in love.

It was autumn the first time he told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. It was once again a lazy afternoon, and they were lying on the bed in his small but airy two room flat, limbs tangled with each other’s and a thin cotton sheet the only thing covering their naked bodies. She traced little circles on his chest with her finger.

“Sakura really looks up to you, you know?” he said out of the blue.

She smiled, “Yeah? Well, she’s a good kid. So are the others. You’re doing a great job, Odasaku.”

“You think so?” he murmured, turning on his side to face her, “I just…I don’t want to make any mistakes when it comes to them.”

“And you won’t.” she said, lightly cupping his cheek. His crystal blue eyes looked even more breathtaking when the golden autumn sunlight hit them like that. “You know why? Because you’re a good man. And because I would never leave you to do this on your own.”

Oda’s eyes widened, a strange kind of warmth spreading throughout his chest. “Do you really mean that?”

“Every last bit.”

For a brief moment, he thought he saw every beautiful version of future flash before his eyes. A beautiful sea-side cabin, where the salty breeze accompanies him as he writes everything he has ever wanted to put down on paper. Stories of people and lives and love and beauty. Stories about the kids, about her and about himself being forever locked in her embrace. It was a beautiful version of reality, one he wasn’t sure he deserved but one he wanted nonetheless.

And here she was, telling him she wanted the same thing.

He sighed, dipping slightly forward to rest his forehead on hers, “Sweetheart…whatever will I do without you?”

“That’s irrelevant.” She murmured, place a small kiss just at the edge of his lips, “Because you won’t ever have to find out.”

It was winter the first time he realized just how out of reach that beautiful reality really was. The world had never been fair. Bad things happened to good people everyday and the pursuit of happiness was utterly meaningless. Everything was meaningless. God didn’t exist, and if he did, he wasn’t worthy of being called one. What kind of cruel, sadistic God allowed innocent children to die at the hands of mercenaries?

Oda Sakunosuke had nothing left to live for anymore.

Or so he thought. If he had put aside the sheer rage coursing through his veins and clouding his eyes for one moment, he would have realized that he had one last solace left in the world. One last chance at salvation, waiting for him to crawl back home to her and into her welcoming embrace. She would weep with him, weep for him and soothe him as he screamed his throat raw and let out every last bit of pain and ache the world had shoved into him. And regardless of the amount of blood on his hands, she would gather him up and piece him back together again.

But rage and hopelessness and sheer, white hot fury had blinded Oda, and he could no longer see anything but red. Gide wanted a reckoning and Oda would give it to him, even if it ended up destroying him in the process. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

There were a few thoughts that crossed Oda’s mind as he lied there in Dazai’s arms, his heartbeat slowly failing him.

One of them was that he wanted a cigarette, which is an odd thing to think as you’re dying, but he allowed himself the liberty. The second was that he would never be a writer now. But that hardly mattered at this point. The third was that Dazai was crying. Oda had never seen him cry before, but he figured it was good for him, because underneath that fragile façade of the horrific ‘demonic prodigy’, Oda knew he was just a scared, broken little boy who just wanted to feel something other than empty for once. If his death was what pushed Dazai out of the darkness, then Oda wouldn’t consider it to be completely in vain.

The last thing he thought, as his vision began to grow darker and darker, was that there was a girl still waiting for him at home. They had had a fight before he left, and he had left her crying on the doorway in the biting evening air that chilled everything to the bone. He had left without telling her where he was going. He wished to God he could turn back time, even for a little bit, and say all the right things to her, or at least a proper goodbye. But it was too late for that now.

She would probably get the news from Dazai. He wondered briefly how she would take it. Would she cry? Would she get angry at his foolishness? Would she despise him for leaving her? If she did, he thought, he wouldn’t blame her.

Gide was dead. Oda had had his revenge, his hollow moment of triumph. But he didn’t feel any better. All he felt was this all-pervading sense of cold emptiness, knowing that his momentary victory came at the price of leaving two people behind to pick up their broken pieces. To clean up the mess he created.

He was very cold now, and too drained to open his eyes anymore. As the last of his strength left him, he only wished…something good comes of his death.

*romantics here refers to being part of the early 19th century literary movement, Romanticism, and has no relation to the present day connotations of the word.

[alligaytorswamp]

yellow , green , blue, turquoise , onyx , fuchsia , cream , mauve ( also genshin) & plum B)))

hey hi hello >:)

green: do you have a favourite flower?

nah i dont differentiate them.. every flower is just a flower to me jkhasjkdhkj...

if the flower is purple it gets extra points tho

blue: preferred type of weather?

rain!!! thunderstorms!!! <333

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

penguins or turtles :p

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

nope, never did

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have a helix one but it got fucked up.. so it looks weird :(

would love to fix it one day.. or maybe get rid of it completely hhh

no tattoos but i want some yes heheeheh

some longer answers will be under the cut jkahdsjkad

plum: a food you've never tried

oi.. dats like a lot of things... ;;

well I've never had anything "Chinese"/"Mexican"/idk what else people mention in a similar manner... i hear English-speaking folks refer to these.. "types" and yep never had any of that. also like.. any food chains that just don't exist in Russia? obv nope......... there is probably an insane amount of stuff I haven't tried, I'm picky and literally just eat at home 99% of the time so-

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

gonna give a dumb ass answer but... i can't...? i don't really know how much one should be "appreciated", like what is the "right amount" and whether or not this person receives it. the amount of notes/likes doesn't always represent that and also i don't look there at all.. also this one random artist can have multiple accs on different platforms with different engagements and all that... so how do i really know what's up with them? and once again i don't think i sit around thinking Damn this person needs more likes !! .. i just like/rb whatever i want and it's epic lashdjlksajdlk also i'm not sure if i have strong attachments to certain creators.. (at this point that is. i used to and some of it backfired lmao) ... the only attachments i have r ppl i'm friends with which is U Know... considered the right answer to this question and an adequate person would do just that but damn none of yall getting a free promo wtf 🙄 and i feel like mentioning one friend could lead to upsetting another or like .. i could just forget to tag someone... or I would waste time trying to figure out if it would be ok to mention them in an ask like this one and probably would decide against it anyways just not to bother anybody ....

and is getting tagged in a post saying u r underappreciated even a compliment? because i for one am not too sure about that........... much to think about uh huh

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

we entered danger zone.................... beware :з

uhhh well first of all I think childe x zhongli is like the most pathetic and boring "default" pairing this fandom came up with. they have 0 chemistry and I just hate everything about it. as much as I headcanon both as queers... together romantically it feels like 2 straight men put together by ya*i fans............ also before i blacklisted to ship and voluntarily looked through the ship tag... every post felt like a hard ooc. i could not understand what childe or zhongli are supposed to be as individuals, what they have in common, what kind of dynamic they have. deadass most crack ships with 0 interactions have more flavor than this tragedy

eng VAs are great people and appreciate their work but whoever decides the voices ain't doing it right. every male character sounds like a middle-aged white man.. and most of the youngest characters sound like very obvious adults trying to pretend to be babies. all of it irks me so bad god.. and there are so many characters that lose their little spark in eng........ (yet in korean and chinese they're completely fine??)

all of the playable adult male characters are shitty people in one way or another. none of them are good. they have reasons and different perspectives, yes, but they suck. every single one of them. stop ignoring it or trying to say only some are evil. none of them are inherently terrible.. but they're not these precious and righteous individuals. they're men.................... that says a lot, actually. :\

and as for women? god i hate the idea that they're all so uninteresting and weak. lichrally just a bunch of girlbosses, morals of most could be questioned as well... anyways some of the girls not having extremely dramatic stories doesn't make them any less cool. let them be

also all archons suck it's ok. you can still love them while acknowledging that they've done some shit. ALSO stop demonizing venti .. and now baal, while praising zhongli- he's an old loser stop lying to yourself. i hate when people present him as the only good archon, the voice of reason who is just so cool and collected but also ahh so cutely silly about mora !!!............. bitch the story quest of liyue is just one zhongli-is-a-fucking-moron campaign idk did yall skip it or something............ and even then it's ok to like him, he does have his logic/reasons/beliefs that justify his actions... he is not a good guy or archon tho.

shipping archons/adepti/whatever the fuck that isn't a basic human with a basic human is super weird. i mean the power dynamic will be completely fucked and ages? lord almighty... basically mortals should stay with mortals... the rest goes to baby jail except maybe ganyu she's a good girl

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk what else.................

maybe.. ahha... well.............. with how people hype up any vague new character that is leaked and declare how they will skip every banner ever for them - even tho all we know is... how the character looks like? it feels a bit too much. like truly what's the point of going crazy and then screaming at mihoyo every 3 seconds over some character that could be fake for all we know, or maybe they'll be a support you don't need, or they have a weapon you don't like to use.... can't you just wait till we get official info? jesus lawd- but regardless.......................... where is the same energy for baizhu :)

the man is literally in the game and people manage to forget him even in conversations about dendro specifically- how the fuck is that even real-

thanks for watching everybody don't forget to subscribe smash that like button and hit the notification bell ^_^

[ravenwolfie97]

2020 Art Summary

Yep, it’s 2021 already. 2020 is finally over. It felt like it lasted forever, and it felt like the end would never come, but here we are. Crazy how the time flew by.

I felt like I didn’t get much art done this year because of Current World Event, but I made a lot more than I thought I did. Even some of my new favorite pieces came out of this year, so I think that’s worth celebrating and looking back upon!

I was insanely productive during the first month of 2020, and looking back I was surprised at all the stuff I did, but then I remembered that that winter season was actually one of the best times of my life! I started being more socially involved, and I think my newfound drive at the time translated into all the art I pumped out this month. This is just a small fraction of what I made in January, but I only have so much space. Quite a few complex pieces in both style exploration and polishing my own style.

Apparently February was a rather intimate month. Things began to slow down in terms of my own art here, with me spending more time in social settings and school work ramping up, I didn’t have as much time to coop up in my room to draw. I did wanna do something for a friend’s Valentine’s Day OC art challenge, so I drew my lovey-dovey couple from Dance of 1000 Words havin’ a dance. Nothing actually came of that challenge, but it was fun to do regardless.

One of the things I was most proud of in the winter season was making more friends, and one of the closest friends I made was completely coincidental. I met a person named Kiri on the bus one night I decided to volunteer somewhere by myself, and we ended up chatting and getting along. They quickly told me their tumblr username, and I shot them a message immediately after they left. A couple days later, we met up for brunch, and we started becoming really close friends and creative partners!

Not much else happened in March cuz that’s when Current World Event started becoming an issue, but Kiri and I still kept in close touch and we randomly started developing a concept for a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Galar Edition. These are a handful of characters we thought up, with Skipper the Scorbunny and Dross the Dreepy as the main characters, Morgrem as the main antagonist, and some shopkeepers such as those of the Greedent Bank and the Indeedee General Store. This was also my first time drawing all of these Galar Pokemon (except Scorbunny, but I also made Skipper a bit more unique than a regular Scorbunny).

Lots of events happened this month. First of all, Steven Universe Future ended, one of my favorite and most influential shows was no longer continuing. I had to do something as tribute, both as a send-off to one of the greatest cartoons in the world and as a cathartic release for my feelings towards it.

A while later, I got the opportunity to start playing an MMO in beta called Fer.al, by the same people who made Animal Jam, which coincidentally I had also beta tested for back in the day. I ended up getting really attached to my first character, a Senri I named Sasha, and though I’ve made more characters than them since, they’re still my absolute favorite. Though I haven’t touched the game in a few months, I was really engrossed for a long time and enjoyed playing through the beta and early access phases.

At the end of the month, some friends of mine invited to a roleplay group with some mutuals, and we all played characters in a crime syndicate. Just a bunch of ragtag thieves and criminals who ended up together in order to protect an artifact called the Crown of Thieves, which was essentially a flag to be taken by other groups to prove that they are the best thieves in the land. My character was based heavily on my sona (if it wasn’t obvious) and was also influenced by Cloud Strife, since the FFVII Remake had just come out and I was super into watching the cutscenes at the time. My character’s (code)name is Valkyrie, and they are a mercenary, going between multiple different employers to carry out whatever duties they need to do. They have a more complicated backstory, but presently they were recently hired by recommendation of their friend Shark (played by @shmoots-universe​ who is also My friend now ily maya) who works with a group called the Court Cards who are currently in possession of the Crown of Thieves. Valk never really had a place to call home, but staying with this group of people had to be the closest they could get to that feeling. They still sleep with a knife under their pillow because of trust issue but that’s okay.

Okay, so technically these examples started in April, but I continued making content with them in May, and the month was just pretty void of art in general, so here I am addressing them.

There were two main things I worked on this month: a Steven Universe AU of my own and the whole #sixfanarts thing that kicked off around then. Let’s start with the fanart bits. I did two and a half of them (six in April and nine in May), and it was so much fun to be able to draw stuff I don’t normally do! My personal favorites are shown here: Blake Belladonna from RWBY, Roll from Megaman, Yuki Konno from Sword Art Online, and Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The other thing I’d been planning for a while was a Steven Universe AU, probably to cope with the show being over but also because I was inspired by a lot of those SU AU artists I started following at the time. I won’t share the details here because it’s gonna have its own blog at some point, but the example I’ve shown here is of a comic I made loosely in order to introduce a divergence in the plot of the story as well as introduce a character unique to my AU. It was a lot of fun figuring out how to draw the characters and get a feel for the style.

As the year progressed, my amount of art I made per month began to dwindle, this time mostly because school was kicking my ass especially hard with finals. However, I took what time I had to get some backburner pieces finished, like the Tigerlily picture which I sketched out a couple months back, and the Gunvolt picture which I started working on SIX YEARS AGO. I don’t quite know why I got the urge to work on it again after so long, but it was nice to finally realize. The other drawing for DOTS was done in the dead of night but I was really happy with how it came out.

Despite only having two summer classes left of school, this month was really rough because they demanded a lot of my time and attention. I did not have the gumption to do anything digital, so I stuck to my sketchbook to get out what I felt like getting out.

My friends and I did a stream of the game Helltaker, and I really enjoyed the concept, so in following my friends I made my own Helltaker demon OC named Raksha the Ravenous Demon (it’s a pun but also got mythical insp). I also got super into Hazbin Hotel at this point, mostly because the Addict music video dropped and I couldn’t get enough of it, so I doodled Angel Dust cuz I felt like it. The other drawing I did was actually a free commission I gave a friend of mine as a prize for a trivia game show I ran back in June. He along with a couple other friends got some free drawings from me for getting the top three scores, and this one in particular was fun because of how interesting it was. He wanted me to draw a video game reviewer called the Irate Gamer from a specific moment, and I decided to go ham and just make it as dramatic as possible.

University classes finally wrapped up and right after that I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and getting adjusted to living with my parents again. I did a couple of agg.io drawing sessions with my friends from the Court Cards group as well as a new Dungeons and Dragons homebrew group I had joined. I drew some more of Valkyrie and came up with a design for my DND character Qakuqtuq (or Kai for short). He is monkey grandpa and I love him.

My main focus was on finishing a polished piece for my friend Cake, whose birthday was in the upcoming month. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, so I put a lot of time into getting more detailed and making them look good. In addition to that, I did a few TOME doodles just for fun. The creature on the bottom was for this month’s art challenge on my Discord server where we made original TOMERPG monsters, and I created Hundylow, a Crystal-element monster based on the Grindylow from English folklore.

This month was a lot more productive than the past few had been. I tried to do a 31-day art challenge called Creatober but failed to get past the third prompt because I was still swamped with other work. I’m still happy with what little I did, including the piece with my characters Kyle and Guarudan from DSWD.

I don’t remember how, but I also suddenly rediscovered an old Flipnote Hatena series called Tales of LostClan, a Warriors fan series that I would say was the most obscure thing I’ve ever been super invested in. It was what got me into the actual Warriors books, and I liked it so much I redrew the animations into a comic... twice. Didn’t get nearly as far the second time but clearly my love for this little fanfiction had not waned after nearly a decade. I felt like drawing a book cover/movie poster for the series, just to get it out there and see how much I’ve improved over all that time.

Also I felt like making a vampiresona just before Halloween because I never dress up for Halloween in art (or real life anymore, for that matter), and I wanted to do something like that for once. It was short-lived but I really liked the design!

The focus of this month was definitely on Pokemon stuff. As per usual I contributed to the current Gotta Draw ‘Em All collab, and I was tasked to draw Regieleki. It was really fun to figure out how to make it stand out and look like it was made of electricity.

I also committed a lot of my spare time to my Fakemon Gym Leaders, as I had been working on bringing them to life in the past year or so now. As of this post, I’ve finished rendering their full body poses and gym badges, but I’m still working on completing all eight VS portraits, the first half of which are shown here.

I... didn’t draw anything this month, actually. What I’m showing here was worked on in the last few days but has actually been in progress for a couple of months, and I just finished it earlier today, in 2021. But I needed to show something off, and it’s also about time I mentioned it.

Back in October, I kept seeing people rave about this game called Genshin Impact, and I was interested but not so much as to start playing it... until my friends started playing and I was like “fuck it, let’s download it”. Since that day, I have been super immersed and in love with this game, to the point I came up with my own canon based on my gameplay experiences. This also included the creation of an original player character: Astra, the non-binary Traveller. And now, I’ve finally drawn them and brought them to life.

It has been one hell of a year. I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in 2020, lots of changes, and I have now officially moved onto the next chapter of my life now that my time at university is finally over. I’m very excited for what 2021 has to offer, and I’m going to go forward with great ambition.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #364

“you wanna know what zeus said to narcissus?  /  ‘you’d better watch yourself’“

Do you change your type of music regularly? Nah. I've ben all about metal and rock since middle school. Would you want to visit Tokyo, Japan, someday? It's not actually on my bucket list or anything, but I'd do it. Do you curse like a sailor? Sailors are better than I am, aha... Do you hear trains pass by where you live? No. Ever been in a race? Haha, no. Last time you’ve eaten a taco? I hate tacos. Do you like horses? Sure do! Do you like Starburst? omg YES. What is your favourite wild animal? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Do you like hamsters? They're very cute, but I've never met a nice one. Do you eat bananas? Yeah, I like bananas, but I'm VERY picky with how ripe it is. There's like, barely a two-day span where I'm willing to eat them. What is your favourite bookstore? I don't have one. What is your favorite fast food joint? Sonic. Do you sweat easily? Ugh, you haven't the slightest idea. As a side effect of one (or two?) of my prescriptions, I have I N S A N E hyperhidrosis. I can stand outside for a millisecond in like 70 degree weather and I'm already sweating. If you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move? All factors considered, being entirely realistic, the mountain-y region of western NC. Why would you go there? I want to stay in NC to at least not be a massive ways away from my family, and I loooove mountains. Plus, there's a lot of cool places on the other end of the state. Do you want to travel? Yes. I want to see so much more than this boring 'ole state. What was the last vaccination you got? For Covid. Have there ever been any forest or grass fires in your area? There have been wildfires towards the beach, I believe? Any time it happened we would always get the smoke all the way where we live. Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge. Do you own an acoustic guitar? No. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My physical health. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Recently. Can you roll your own cigarettes? I've never smoked, so. Are you mentally strong? I think so. I hope so. Are you physically strong? I am like, comically weak. Are you heartbroken right now? No. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It's happened, but it's definitely not a regular thing or whatever. They're grayish blue. What facial feature do you like the best on a person? I'd say I'm most attracted to pretty eyes. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever held? I helped hold a massive snake as a kid (I don't remember what it was), and I've also held a rose hair tarantula. I can't think of any truly strange animals by my opinion, really. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. Sugar seems to have zero effect on me, probably because I'm over-exposed to it thanks to soda... What about caffeine? Not at all, likely for the aforementioned reason. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? Besides alcohol, no. I don't regret having drank as it was never a lot. Do you have any pregnant friends? A high school acquaintance is pregnant. I THINK she's the only one now? I swear I see a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook like every two days, and mind you I don't even have all that many "friends." That being said, I may definitely be forgetting someone. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? Depending on whether they have Pepsi or Coke products, either Mountain Dew or Coke. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I am so, so, SO obsessive over getting everything right, but things never come out as good as I want them to/imagine them. Have you actually read Twilight? I haven't. What about Harry Potter? Never read any of those, either. I started one in elementary school, but didn't get very far at all. Out of the two, which is better? I have like no interest in either, so. How often do you read books? It various. I go through like reading episodes, and then I don't read for months. Are you the jealous type? I'm not like, an insanely jealous person, but it's still the worst it's ever been at this point in my life. I hate it. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people’s pasts? Nah, no reason to. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? Not blood, I think, but needles and drawing blood, yes. I know my dad's fainted at least once at the doctor, and Jason fainted when I was getting blood drawn at the ER. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Just about everyone has brown eyes but me, I think my maternal grandpa, and my brother. Are you related to anyone with red hair? Not to my knowledge. Were you a chubby baby? No, I was pretty average. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Social situations with strangers especially. Asking for things. Public speaking/presenting. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? God, I remember there was this one night in particular where I stayed up SO late, but I don't remember the exact time. I think I actually cried because I was so stressed and tired. How many vegetarians do you know? In my personal life, I don't believe I know any, but I could be wrong. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? I never did, even though I was always tired. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Favorite episode of Spongebob? The pizza one, probably. Or the Hash Slinging Slasher episode. What bug frightens you most? Wasps, probably. Are your parents supportive of you? Yes. <3 How often do you take the train to go places? I've never been on a train. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Hm... I honestly don't remember. What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? Thunderstorms. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Pick your three favourite vegetables. Broccoli, green beans, and uh... I'm blanking... Habitually I wanna say "corn," but I know it's not technically a veggie, but starch. Have you ever broken a movie or game disc? I think I have? What is your favourite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? Ha, no. Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? Yeah. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. I might jump a bit, but not always. What do you spend most of your time doing? Watching YouTube. Do you really care what’s going on in celebrities' lives? More like the YouTubers I watch. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping them. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have a care in the world? I couldn't begin to guess. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Can you do a backwards london bridges? God no, I'd bust my back. What smiley do you use the most on the computer? (: maybe. Or :') Are any of your pets “overweight”? No, but why is "overweight" in quotations as if overweight pets aren't a real and serious issue? Has anyone ever bought you a ring? Yeah. On a scale 1-10, how funny are you? I honestly don't think I'm funny at all, so I'd put myself at a 1. Pretty recently though it was very surprising and flattering to have my dad and older sister point out that I'm "hilarious" with my wry sense of humor. I don't see it, but I mean, it was surely appreciated. What’s a song that is overplayed but you still like it anyway? I barely ever listen to the radio, yet I still know "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen is played a lot, but I could never get tired of it. Are you excited for Christmas? Christmastime is my favorite time of year nowadays, mainly because of how excited my niece and nephew always are, and we spend most of Christmas Day and usually Christmas Eve with them. I love the weather, the focus on togetherness, all that. What are you thankful for? Man, a lot. I try my best to never overlook all the truly amazing things I do have, like a loving and supportive family, a home, food and safe water, Internet haha, access to medical care (regardless of the complaints I have about American healthcare)... I've got a lot of bad going on in my life, but I've also got a great amount of good things, too. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? Internet. What’s your favorite color combination? Maaan, don't do this. I really don't know. Probably two pastels, idk. Do you have any internet friends? I have more Internet friends than I do "real life" ones. What was the last song you listened to? "Deep Six" by Marilyn Manson earlier. How are you feeling right now? My arm is really sore from my second Covid shot, and I'm also having trouble breathing thanks to the dog (apparently, I'm allergic to whatever she is). I know it sounds bad, but I cannot wait 'til she's gone (from this house, no we're of course not euthanizing her). What color is the shirt you’re wearing? Burgundy. Do you play video games? Yeah, just not as much as I used to. Have you ever been to a club and had someone slip something into your drink? I've never been to a club period, and I don't plan on it. Do you know anyone who’s done ecstasy? Not to my knowledge, anyway. Are you on birth control? Yes, but only to regulate and soothe my menstrual cycle. My cramps were insufferable prior. Does your sibling have a significant other? All but my younger sister. Like she's in contact with who she calls "contenders," haha, but she isn't officially dating anyone. She's MEGA picky with who she dates. Have you ever cried at a real wedding? Yes, because it was very triggering to my PTSD. Any idea what you want for your next birthday? That's quiiite a whiles away, so I have plenty of time to think about that. I don't know if I'll be employed by then and thus able to buy some things myself, but I'll just say I won't be (because I'm I think rationally fearful that's where I'll still be). For Christmas I plan on just asking for a new terrarium for Venus plus better materials for it (like a proper temp gauge and hygrometer, etc.), and with that taken care of, then I might be interested in asking for a hognose for my bday, but idk. I'd want to ensure (s)he starts out with a perfect terrarium, and seeing as I want a hoggie morph, that's a lot of money in one go that idk if I'd be comfortable asking. So I'unno, maybe I'll go for a tattoo again. Wow, this was a lot of rambling for something so far off, pardon me haha. Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? My Nintendo DS Lite, actually. I can't find the darn charger for it, and I really need to so I can bring it to Ashley's again for the kids to play the Pokemon game I have that they love. Aubree especially is really into it, and she adores Pikachu and Eevee. :') Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I don't even know what most award shows are for, if I'm being honest. I'm not really interested. What colour is your keyboard? Black, but each key glows red. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? Not for myself; I think they'd drive me insane. I do, however, think they look nice on others.

[beatsfortheillperth]

Words with Jetson

Our next interview is with a producer and rapper out of a beautiful place known as Tauranga, in New Zealand, This creative is known as Jetson.

He happens to be one of my cat, Rain's personal favourites for sleep time and regardless of the amount of thumping bass Jetson's music creates and picture frames it knocks over, I understand why he sleeps so sweetly.

Probably a lot to do with the fact that bass has rhythm, just like the sweet sweet words Jetson correlates with his word-plays in tracks such as "Milk" and "SENSEI". Not only impressing cats, Jetson has made moves and connections beyond the long white cloud, proving isolation doesn't always silence brilliance. Jetson brings words any generation can hold some sort of relevance to, words that allow one to notice life moves fast and slow and sometimes you just have to chill and become an observer rather than an instigator.

This is something I feel Jetson has accomplished with his rather low-key approach to releases and interviews.

Jetson is a natural, a true prodigy of sound and a sharer of moods, and to me, is a reminder that with a little bit of passion and persistence, great things can happen, whatever your field.

Jetson’s collective and label - Chill Children is evidence of that, as through it , Jetson is able to work and release with producers and beat-makers all over the globe.

emo the optimist, BACKWHEN, fuyu, eets, and junyii are just some of the diverse talents working with Chill Children and everyone on the catalogue are game-changers that make music that’s anointed in chills. 

Creators that push boundaries and portray emotion through sound in the most soothing way, one must check Chill Children.

So with that I hope you enjoy rare words with the nuance wonder, and in his own words.

Sit back, relax, get baked, create, f**k it.

Enjoy and much love.

Hey man thanks for the opportunity to share words. Let's start with a few random quick questions to get things going. Favourite Beverage: Lemon water. Favourite thing to do in your down-time: Make music/skate. Views on Reincarnation: It will be cool if it is true but I guess it doesn't really change anything if it is 🤷‍♂️ Favourite Food: Sushi. Favourite Album of All Time: Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders A song to break it down to: Ethereal & Playboi Carti - Beef A song to chill to: Durand Jones & The Indications - Cruising to the park Do you prefer Sunrise? or Sunset? Why?: Sunset, because I'm never awake for sunrise. A childhood memory in regards to music: I remember saving up to buy Graduation by Kanye West and listening to that shit front to back for weeks straight. Favourite Place to be: Probably on an island.

Thanks for that, so let's start by asking what inspires you to produce and not only produce but continually produce, what to me is an array of tunes fitting so many genres?

Do you have a set of goals in place when you release a track or do you just hit upload and just hope people are feeling your sound?

What I like to listen to is constantly changing so I like to challenge myself to try and make the things that I'm inspired by.

I like to think that you never know what you're gonna get when you listen to my music but I've still got so much to learn and experiment with. I just try have fun with it and not think about it too much.

How long have you been producing music, and what did you find was hardest to get the hang of when it first came to producing beats?

I had no music theory knowledge or anything when I started making beats (I still don't have much) so there was a lot to learn right away.

Probably the hardest thing that I still battle with is knowing what you should release, what you shouldn't etc. It's hard to balance knowing when something is finished and when it still needs work.

Could you give a quick run-through of the process you follow when it comes to making a beat?

I try to change my process as much as I can to keep things fresh and fun for myself. But I really enjoy hearing a sample somewhere like keys, a quote or a rapper I want to remix, then I start working with that piece and see where it goes.

I'll mess around with the beat for a while and sometimes a track comes out. It can take one day, it can take months. Just depends.

Oldies are always goodies in my books and I have to mention your "bumps from 2014" mixtape, it truly is something special.

What inspired those little bumps? What were you doing back then? Also, can you remember the mood you were in when you made them?

I'm glad you like it haha. That was when I really had no clue what I was doing in terms of making beats, I was making all of those 'off the grid' in Ableton so I was placing drums in random places, I had no idea what bpm the samples were or anything. I really didn't know wtf I was doing, just going off of a vibe. 

My mood was really just being excited about making music, I was living in the basement at my mum's house blasting beats on the speakers all day.

[bumps from 2014] - https://soundcloud.com/sleepgodd/bumps-from-2014

You are also a rapper. My favourite NZ rapper to be more precise so thank you for the vibes you create. How did you find out you had it in you to rap and how old were you?

Damn, I appreciate that ✌️ I started rapping with a friend of mine, Jesse aka j cafe when we were around 20. We'd sit in my room smoking weed, and free-styling over beats on Soundcloud all night. 

Then we decided to make a track, so we found a beat and jumped in the closet to record some vocals on the laptop microphone.

We put it up on Soundcloud and I've been addicted to making music ever since.

Link to j cafe’s Soundcloud here - https://soundcloud.com/j-cafe

Cover art for Jetson’s 2019 rap release - bluntscraps

Album cover art by Takuroh Toyama

When did you first start rapping in front of others? What did it feel like in the beginning compared to now when you perform live?

I was insanely nervous the first time I ever did anything live and that feeling really hasn't left me lol.

Except now I know how to deal with nerves a bit better and actually enjoy the whole experience of doing something live.

I definitely think I'm a lot better now than my first time doing it, but I still kinda suck 😂 Staying on topic with your rapping, material-wise you have mad skills, your music is forever helping me chill out so thank you.

When did you start writing down your words and turning them into structured songs? Do you have any other artists that inspire your writing style?

When I was younger I really liked the flow of rappers rather than what they were actually saying.

Dudes like MF Doom and Earl Sweatshirt really influenced me at the start wanting to come up with lines that were catchy and different.

To form an actual track I usually just mumble over beats to get the flow, then I start placing words in the spots where I think they fit.

Does your family know you make music? If so what do they think of it, any dance parties in the Jetson Family Household? 

My immediate family all know and support my music. My mum used to have one of my tracks as her ringtone for years lol.

No jetson dance parties yet, but seems like every year more people in my extended family know about my music.

You were also a member of NZ Duo, Chill Children of which you rap and produce with yet another kiwi talent, both having low-key approaches when it comes to presenting yourselves through social media. What happened with that?

Me and J Cafe started Chill Children as a rap project in the early days but we moved to different places in the world and started doing our own solo projects so things sort of stopped happening with it.

I still credit those times with really getting me started on music though. He's still making dope shit and we'll probably link up on a track soon.

So then it became a sort of collective community, and through your Chill Children Soundcloud, you allow a platform for other artists to have their music heard.

Much Love on the concept, What inspired you to start sharing other artists music and what keeps you sharing? I'm very grateful btw, too many gems.

I work on music a lot with my friend emo the optimist (aka kodama) and we always wanted to run a label/collective kind of thing so we could release music from artists that we really liked.

After me and Jesse started doing our own thing, Chill Children seemed like the perfect place to start doing that.

It's one of my favorite things to work on as we have a hand in working with the artists on every release. I just love that we're able to share so much music that we really like with the world.

Check Chill Children here -

Bandcamp - https://chillchildren.bandcamp.com/

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/chillchildren

Instagram - @chillchildren

Any new Chill Children material we should keep an eye out for?

We always have new music from new artists dropping so definitely follow our instagram/twitter if you want to stay updated on it.

We're currently working on a phonk compilation with guys like DJ Yung Vamp, Genshin etc. It's gonna be crazy 🤯

Back to your solo releases through your alias Jetson. What made you want to start putting out your material alone? Also, do you have a favourite Jetson release?

I really felt like I had to release music solo to see what I could do.

I've learned so much about myself through that process, became more confident and a better musician.

Probably my favorite rap track I've made is called 'Escape'.

Not many people have heard it but it's on Spotify and other places.

My favorite beat I've made is probably 'dylan rieder'.

Have to ask, are you working on any new releases we should keep an ear out for? If so, what can we expect with your coming releases?

I just released an album on Bandcamp called THROWED TAPES which was really influenced by DJ screw and other phonk producers.

I'm working on a lofi R&B tape for Bandcamp, a lofi beat tape, and I really want to release a rap EP.

Who knows when those will come out though haha

Taking it back a little to your rapping again I have to mention "Milk". What inspires the words in this track?

Also please share the story behind your track "Melancholy"? The words are somewhat mesmerizing, thank you!

With milk, I just heard the beat from bsd.u and really wanted to make something weird that just followed the flow of the beat.

On melancholy I tried to think about what I was saying a little more. The instrumental is so introspective and smooth I knew I had to come correct on it.

THROWED TAPES By Jetson, released August, 27, 2020

Musical Recommendations?

junyii - emo the optimist - knxwledge - j cafe - jesse james solomon - the smiths - dj yung vamp - shuggie otis - hm surf - alicks - MIKE - baccyard - meraki soul - steve hiett I could go on for days though lol

Creatives to keep an eye out for in music and art? Takuroh Toyama (photography) Moebius (visual art) Steve Hiett (photography/music) Any Last Words?

It really trips me out that people enjoy something I love to do so much.

So just thank you for vibing with me, I have a lot more to share ✌️

Support Jetson here -

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/highimjetson

Bandcamp - https://jetsonbumps.bandcamp.com/

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/2bkf2PmiVyfCqg2uzIFIqJ

Twitter - https://twitter.com/jetsonbumps

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jetsonn/?hl=en

Milk by Jetson (Production by bsd.u)

[always5hineee]

Depreciation- Chapter 5: Remote Advocate

Chapter warnings: none

Word count: 1076

-----

       "8 p.m.? Alright, sounds good." She hung up the phone with the contractor, thankful that he had answered so quickly. Now that it was becoming evening, she had plenty of time to clear anything important out from the basement before they arrived to seal the location up. Just in case, though, she instructed them to make sure they knew exactly where she was before pouring the cement. She didn't want to be trapped.

       She had spent the earlier day moving money around, as banks were some of the first businesses to close on any given day. Thankfully it all went off without a hitch. People ask surprisingly few questions about where these enormous sums of money come from. She herself was utterly perplexed by the sheer volume of liquid funds they had on hand, as well as the fact that Kun had trusted her with it. She supposed it was his last hope, but still.

       She took a few careful hours to package Lucas's things into cardboard boxes, making sure that nothing would be damaged. All of the girls' clothing stayed, as the area would be sealed for a long while. She felt bad tearing his room apart, but if he wanted his stuff anytime soon, she'd have t remote it from the basement. It almost took her longer to load things onto the elevator and take it to her bedroom than the actual packaging took. She figured he wouldn't mind her holding onto it until he was fully recovered.

       Once the contractors showed up, they spoke to her, confirmed their plans, and discreetly began sealing the bottom floor. While it would take a day or two to completely set, the pouring would only cost a few hours. There was no way they could come up with a search warrant that fast, so she wasn't too troubled. That left one major task.

       The part she was dreading... The lawyers. She needed to find someone willing to defend all 7 men in court well enough that they would walk completely free, both physically and in terms of allegations. They could not afford a scandal. Anything of the sort and their careers could be over, ruining the underground business as well. That kind of pressure- it was immeasurable, no matter the amount of money that was being offered.

       The first call she made, the woman who picked up was clearly a secretary. Y/N asked to speak to the lawyer directly, stating to say that it was a call from Kun, but the woman responded that they'd get back to her as soon as possible. He was clearly running a reputable business, whether or not Kun knew it. Regardless, she didn't have time to wait. She called the next lawyer.

       This one was quite different. The first time she called, she received no answer. Confused, she called a second time, double checking the number to make sure she had punched it in correctly. On this round, a cracking, male voice picked up.

       "Hello?"

       "Hello sir, I-"

       "I'm not interested in whatever you're selling. Good day-"

       "Wait!" She tried to exclaim, but the phone was hung up. Growing irritated, she called the number a third time, keying in "*67" beforehand to hide her caller ID. The same voice answered, clearly also as irritated as she.

       "Sir, I'm not a telemarketer."

       "I don't-"

       "I'm calling for Kun." She slid in quickly before he had the chance to argue. The line went silent for a moment, probably as he tried to figure out whether or not she could be lying.

       "Oh yeah? What does he want?"

       "He's in a bit of trouble." She started to explain.

       "Ah, figures. What's going on?" She told him about the arrest, leaving out the specific charges and mentioning that Kun had requested he defend them in court.

       "No need to beat around the bush, kiddo, I know about his little... side job. I'm curious as to why you're calling, though. Are all of them being detained?"

       "Yes."

       "And how do you know him?" Her eyes flit to the side even though she knew no one would be standing there.

       "They kidnapped me." Another silence.

       "Interesting. And now you're coming to me for help defending them in court?"

       "I don't need to explain myself to you. Will you do it or not?" The man laughed, throat sounding dry regardless of the static.

       "You're quite the curious little girl, aren't you? I would love to act as their attorney, we've been friends for a long time. Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a bind. I don't think I'd be able to make it."

       "Bind?"

       "House arrest. Long story, no need to bore you with the details. The point it, I have no way of showing up to court, so unfortunately, I don't think that'll be possible." Her heart dropped. She was beginning to run out of options. She only had one number left to call, and she didn't know what she would do if she couldn't follow Kun's instructions. "It's a shame, really, I'm the best criminal defense lawyer on the face of the Earth." He left off with.

       "I... I guess that's fine." She had no choice but to be fine with it. "I can try and find someone."  

       "Unless..." Unless? He was clearly trying to bait her into asking the question, as Kun did earlier. It must have been an effective tactic of convincing someone, though, because she fell for it a second time.

       "Unless what?"

       "Unless you let me build the case, and then you present it." He couldn't see it, but her mouth was strewn slightly ajar, heart stopping.

       "P-present the case?"

       "Sure. You'd need to be a little more confident, but if it's my work, I'm sure it'll be doable. Hell, you can even keep a bluetooth in if you want me to guide you through the process."

       "I- I can't- I'm not a lawyer, I-"

       "You don't have to be a practicing lawyer with a business to defend someone in court. Of course, they're generally better at it, but there's no rule. You could have Ronald McDonald defend you if you could get your hands on him." This was insane. There was no way she could stand up in court in front of hundreds of people and present a legal case based around saving her kidnappers. It was so insane that she was just willing enough...

       "I'll do it."

Go to Chapter 6

[callsigndreadfrost]

Ok, so, originally this was gonna just be a million fuckin questions, and it'll prooooobably turn into one of those question chains from several months ago. BUT to start I think I can do just like, three. First, tell me ALL about the area in Norway where Jelani was growin up, absolutely anything and everything you can think of about it. Secondly, tell me ALL about babby Jelani! Again just anything and everything you can think of! Lastly, how exactly do those magic weapons work? :o Like, once they're made can anyone grab them? Can he only have one at a time? Stuff like that! Basically just use this as a chance to talk about all those things! :3

❤️❤️❤️

So Jelani was born and raised near what is known as Hammerfest today (woohoo subarctic climate!). Honestly he’s been everywhere and just about seen everything but nothing compares to when he was growing up in that area and watching the Aurora Borealis with family and friends in a comfortable silence while just taking it all in, ya know? Being born in 870 CE meant there was no light pollution so every night the sky always lit up and the stars were so shiny and there were millions and millions of them which was absolutely insane to see and had a lot of significance because of his mom’s culture and their relationship to the stars.

They were close to the coast so there was a lot of fishing and sailing. He was also partial to that area because it was close to the sea and close enough to the mountains where it felt like a happy in between. He’s not a fan of being too far from some source of water. That place was perfect as he could see all kinds of sea dwelling animals like whales and seals, squids though he’s not a fan, he’s kind of scared of squid especially the really big ones he saw every once in a while. He especially liked puffins as a kid since he thought they were kinda silly. Inland he saw his fair share of reindeer, foxes, bears, wolves and otters which he completely fell in love with and still loves as an adult. Show him pictures or videos of otters and he’ll melt, if he sees one irl he’ll practically die from the amount of cute. There were also the more supernatural creatures though he mostly grew up around a lot of werewolves.

Oh! And sure, he’s not a big fan of the sun but even he has to admit that the midnight sun is pretty impressive and beautiful in its own right. It was gorgeous to see it and he did enjoy walking around in the middle of the night and still see the sun out.

Also, despite the location, he was exposed to a lot of different people as the village was flagged as a safe area which saw a ton of traders and all were welcome regardless of who you were or if you were human or non-human. He saw everything and interacted with all sorts of people from the local Sámi People, Middle Eastern, Asian and even other African people. And after his mom found out her family were still alive and well they’d also visit each other when they could. Honestly, his upbringing was kinda fairy tale like.

______________________________________________________________

qasdxcfgbhn well, Jela as a little kid was always hanging around his parents, grandparents and especially his brother. Since Loke’s 13 years older than him Loke often watched him and played with him a lot, he wasn’t even asked to he just did it because baby brother. Like the instant Lo first saw him it was like love at first sight type of shit. He learned to speak clearly very early on which surprised everyone at how clear and structured his speech was for a kid so young and then they learned he was a very fast learner and really smart and was always curious and asking tons of questions.

Even since he was little he really loved animals so he was always seen chasing after them or somehow petting them and playing with them. Learned to ride and care for horses pretty fast and when he got his own it was like fireworks went off in his head. Even in present day he sees a horse and it’s like instant childhood memories flooding him. Btw his first horse was a mare he named Dagny, just like his ball python in modern times lol, it was a Fjord with a grey coat and a two tone mane and he loved her to bits. Aside from that there was the family dog named River because she loved to swim. He also liked cats but they didn’t have a cat because Loke was scared of them and Sanaa (for different reasons related to another creature) wasn’t fond of them. They don’t hate cats but they’d rather just keep ‘em at arm’s length.

Then teen Jelani who was...I don’t wanna use the word difficult because he wasn’t but let’s just say different for lack of a better word. It was around this time that he was realizing he wasn’t like his family and it actually hurt ‘im a lot. Especially since his mom was an arcane berserker and it was like a huge deal so they all thought he was gonna be one too. So in come the feelings of alienation and the doubts and the semi angst and the moodiness. He was never disrespectful to anyone but he was often moody and often felt down. Around this time he was also learning he had some unique abilities of his own that no one else had and since no one else had them he learned to control them but not without incidents. Not to mention that since he was very little he could see and hear and talk to things that no one else could really see. Some were friendly and others weren’t. Mix in the regular hormonal shit teenagers go through during puberty and it made for a bit of a mess. This kind of “weakened” him and his old self (which he nor anyone else knew of) was starting to rear in and it was kind of scary. He was actually fluctuating between his old personality which was chaotic af and his present self and both seemed to clash a lot. Once this started happening the migraine attacks and the nosebleeds began as well as the sleep paralysis, night terrors, insomnia and the nyctophobia and they all seemed to hit him really hard and suddenly. So all of that mixed in made the ages of 13 through 17 really, really fucking messy.

But family and friends were with him through it all and at 17 and a half he chilled out and learned to control himself and managed to suppress his old self. He’d learned to use and handle his abilities responsibly, still felt a little out of place but his family was sure to always let ‘im know they loved him no matter what and his grandfather especially let him know that his differences weren’t a bad thing and that they made ‘im special. By 18 he was back to his cheerful old self though sometimes he still felt bad about being different but didn’t let it get him down. However, he now had to cope with migraine attacks, night terrors, nyctophobia, random nosebleeds, insomnia and sleep paralysis which he still has even in present day.

______________________________________________________________ 

Okay so berserkers are non-humans that have the ability to summon powerful weapons and very sturdy armor from nothing thin air. The armor can take a beating but if they get targeted by a barrage of attacks the armor can break and they’d have to summon the armor again but there’s a cool down of about half an hour so it’s better to hang on to the armor even if broken or get your ass to safety. The weapons don’t break though. Oh and if an armor broke and they summon it again it’ll show up as good as new. Berserkers can summon up to two different weapons so which ones they summon depends on the person’s taste and comfort level.

These weapons can be summoned and dematerialized at will and have no cool down. Anyone can grab them if the berserker it belongs to doesn’t mind though why would a berserker use another one’s weapon unless they wanna be offensive and kill ‘em with their own weapon? It’s not offensive, more like yikes.

Now, since Jelani isn’t a berserker he managed to figure out a way to mimic berserkers’ ability to summon a weapon from thin air though unlike grown up berserkers he isn’t limited to just two types of weapons. For example Loke is able to summon a two headed axe and a bow, nothing more nothing less. Jelani can summon whatever he wants as he can manipulate the shape. His mom’s tribe are partial to glaives so he mainly uses a glaive. His weapons however are made of an unknown material that’s insanely hard and impossible to even crack. His weapons can’t be wielded by anyone other than himself bc as soon as someone else touches them they dematrerialize. It also looks weird, like it’s so dark it swallows all light and no light bounces off of it. He can’t summon armor though so that’s where the blacksmith comes in. His uncle Jørgen made his look like his dad’s and his mom’s.

[gra-sonas]

With only two episodes left to Season 2 of The CW series Roswell, New Mexico, questions are piling up and everyone is desperate for answers, as the town welcomes CrashCon and Liz (Jeanine Mason) and Max (Nathan Parsons) find themselves trying to piece together who’s behind a potentially deadly plan targeting the popular festival. Before all is said and done, there are sure to be life-or-death stakes to survive, heart-wrenching choices to endure, big moves to make, and loose ends to be tied.

During this 1-on-1 phone interview with Collider, actress Jeanine Mason talked about what it was like to make it to Season 2, getting to have a much deeper understanding of her character, what she’s learned about leading a TV series, seeing Liz come to terms with the fact that she can’t solve every problem, having her past come back into her life, the affect CrashCon will have on Roswell, her reaction to the Season 2 finale, and how Shiri Appleby has inspired her.

Collider: You’ve previously talked about doing seven pilots and a couple of TV shows that only had one season. What was it like to learn that you’d have a second season for this show, and then to also now have a third season pick-up?

JEANINE MASON: It’s crazy. It’s so bonkers. I’ve been hoping for this, for so long, that it was so cool to get that pick-up news. It’s layers of confronting the excitement and the nervousness, of course. But the most honest one for me was, I sat down, as I do every year, to work with my acting coach, who’s half of my brain, and in our first session, we started breaking down the script and I said, “Okay, so in the pilot . . .” I assumed it was the pilot again, instead of Episode 201, and he was like, “No, no, no, this is 201.” I was like, “Oh, my god, it’s 201. We’ve gotten to 201. This is crazy!” It was awesome. That was my personal favorite moment, in which it hit me that this was no longer starting from the beginning. We were getting to move forward from having a really deep understanding of these characters.

From what you just said, clearly your acting coach is important to you. Was that something that you sought out having? Was that something that you always felt like you wanted to have there for you?

MASON: It’s the way that I’ve always worked. It’s the way I was, as a dancer, as well, before this. I’m just someone who operates as an athlete, as well as an artist, in whatever I’m doing. So, it makes sense to me to have coaches. It’s also a celebration of the collaboration of it all, which is ultimately my favorite thing about this. Different people contribute and are pieces of the puzzle, and to see it all come together, it’s not just one person’s effort, so it makes sense to me to get the opinions of the people that I admire most. Along with my acting coach, I have a good girlfriend, who’s an actress, an activist, and a Chicana. I’m Cuban, so she’s another person that I lean on, a lot. She’s been indispensable for me in this process, as well. I’m just someone who loves the collaboration of it and loves having help. I love leaning on people.

How does it feel to return to a show where you’ve already set up the character, in the first season, and established these relationships that she has? What’s been the most fun about digging even deeper, in the second season?

MASON: The most rewarding thing about it has been the moments in which it really pays off, on set. We all are in a groove now, and the moments in which Lily [Cowles] will suggest a joke for Isobel, and it gets a reaction out of myself and Liz that we can possibly feel, is spot on. That’s the best feeling in the world. That is Season 2. That is the delight of having a second round.

This is also your first time leading a show. Does that get any easier in Season 2, or is it even more challenging, as they give you more because they know you can do more?

MASON: I think they would say that they’re definitely doing that, and I love it. I feel like I’m more confident and I’ve acquired a lot of skills from Season 1, that I am more proficient at now. That being said, the nature of this job is that there’s always more to learn, and I’m learning, every day, things that are just taking it up a notch. It’s asking me to be a better and more consistent number one, and I love that about this, so much. The most rewarding bit of this job has been seeing how much being in this leadership position teaches you. I always knew that. I always knew, of course, you’re gonna learn, and you’re gonna have more time on camera, more say, and more of an impact, but actually being in it, it’s insane to me. Every day, I go to work nervous because I know it’s like, “Okay, let me try to be on my game,” because I know new things are gonna be asked of me, and that’s huge. I feel like I lead every season, like an acting titan. It’s great.

Did you also have to figure out how to mentally and physically keep that up? When you’re doing 13 episodes a season, and each one has to have the same level of energy as the last one, how do you keep that consistent? Does your dance background help with that?

MASON: My dance background helps so much with that. I am so grateful. I remember being in dance class and having my teacher say to me and to all of us that, regardless of where we wanted to go or what we wanted to do, this was preparing us. I really do believe that athletics, but particularly dance, because it’s the athlete and the artist together, in a way that doesn’t really exist much, except for maybe ice skating, and I’m always amazed by the way that prepares me. I think the mindset stuff is the biggest, and that is my dad’s realm. He’s just fed me a little bit of that sports mentality, for years. Even on set, people will laugh because our camera operator and I will be talking about something and I’ll equate it to baseball, but that’s my dad. That’s the way my brain works. I’ll be like, “Okay, let’s give it another at bat.” When it gets tough and people get tired, that’s when people start to get sloppy and that’s when I can trust that I will stay on the straight and narrow. That’s a huge relief to me because then I know that I can utilize the rest of my brain to try to connect to that ephemeral thing of, can I give a great performance?

You’ve said that you knew, early on, that Max was going to die at the end of the season and that Rosa was going to be resurrected. What was your reaction, when you first heard that, and how do you feel now about the way that all played out and how that’s affected the second season?

MASON: I loved it, immediately. I thought it was so brave and that it honored the sci-fi nature of our show, but it felt impossible to connect to that amount of grief and elation, and the blurry way that they cross over each other. I immediately got excited about trying to figure that out for Liz and trying to play with that big of an event. That’s the cool thing about doing a sci-fi show. You get these big stakes moments that very rarely exists in shows that are just about mere mortals. Acting wise, it’s just like the Olympics. So, that felt really exciting for our show, and I was pumped about it. And then, the way it played out, I thought was quite brave, as well, and right for Liz, in that it was such an immediate thing for Max to save her, as the catalyst for our show and our pilot episode, but it’s not as immediate for Liz. We were able to get those five episodes of her and the Scooby gang bringing him back to life, and I loved every bit of seeing her work through her grief and her frustration, and having that fuel her work. It felt really human and honest, in an impossible situation.

Now, the two of them both have things that they’re dealing with, that Liz can’t really help them through. They have to get through these things they’re dealing with on their own. What’s it like for her to have these two people that she loves, back in her life, but also see them going through these things that she can’t really help them with?

MASON: It’s so hard for Liz. She likes to be able to take care of people, and she’s a problem solver. When it comes to her people, the woman will mountains, without question. So, for her to not be able to solve this for them, kills her, but she has to learn. That’s what I love about a protagonist that’s truly on a journey. I’m so sick of shows, where there’s nothing to be learned or earned for your protagonist. She has to let go. She has to realize that this is Rosa’s journey, and as much as she wants to be like, “Sit here and let me make it work,” Rosa is like, “Girl, I’ve gotta go to rehab. Lemme be.” Rosa is right, and Liz is learning. It’s really fun to watch her try.

Liz has had to deal with the return of Rosa, the return of Mama Ortecho, and now Diego is back in her life. What’s it like for her to have her past reuniting with her present? How is she able to handle all of that, with everything that she’s been through?

MASON: Yeah. What I loved about Mama Ortecho and Diego coming right now is that, we all go through changes and every decade we can notice shifts, but the shift that has happened in Liz’s life, in this two-year period is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to her. She was so closed off. She was someone who kept you at arms length. She was someone who was used to running. She was someone who felt very abandoned. The first season is her heart getting pried open. So, for the two of them to come in, it really felt like whiplash. It might have just been a year, but she’s such a different person now. So, that was really exciting to me. It was fun to imagine the little flashbacks with Diego, where we could go back to her life pre her return to Roswell, pre-Max, pre knowing there are aliens in the world. To see her then, you really get a sense of how far you’ve already been with her, how far you’ve seen her go, and how happy you are for where she is right now. I liked that it clued the fans back into that.

I think it’s fun that you’ll be having a CrashCon episode (Episode 212), which pays homage to the original series and their UFO Convention episode. What can you say about having this convention in town, the attention that brings, and how that’ll affect the story?

MASON: Oh, man, it’s so fun. It’s gives you so much OG Roswell nostalgia. It’s pretty great. There are a couple of really fun Easter eggs, and we just kept dying on set, every time we encountered posters that said things. We were just like, “That’s really good. Good work, writers.” It’s huge. What I love about The CW is that there’s always an episode, or a pair of episodes, centered around a big event. Last year, we had the gala, and this year, it’s this. Small town events are massive. Everybody’s out. With the amount of extras and the costume pieces, and the creativity of our wardrobe department and our props department, in dressing everybody in alien and sci-fi and actual properties that get little nods, I think it’s gonna be a feast for the eyes. I think it’s gonna be so visually beautiful. I was impressed. I read a script and get so excited by the writer’s ideas, and then we get to set and we try to figure out the logistics, three times over, and how to do it justice and do right by the excitement of the words. These last two episodes, that happen in the convention/carnival, exceeded everything that I had imagined and it was incredible to see. I can’t wait for people to see. I really think the last two episodes are gonna have people on the edge of their seat.

Without giving away spoilers, what was your reaction to reading the finale and seeing how things would end up for this season, and how do you think fans will react to it?

MASON: The beautiful thing about this season is that things have been weaving in and out, and so much has been set up, in a way that fans are conscious about it. There’s so much stuff that you wouldn’t have thought twice about, that’s gonna come back, and there are so many people that we’ve met, even in passing, who are gonna have such prominence, in the last two episodes. They’re so full. So much is connected and a lot is revealed, in terms of the mythology of our world. But then, there are also personal decisions made that are heartbreaking and that are really not where some characters thought they would find themselves, for sure not at the beginning of the season and definitely not even a week before this whole convention goes down. I’m proud of the decision that characters make, to look out for themselves, but it definitely sets us up for a lot of complication to sort through in Season 3.

Max has been finding out some new and unexpected things about his alien side. Will we also see that affect his relationship with Liz?

MASON: Yeah, absolutely. That’s a lot of what I’m trying to dance around. I’ve gotten some little hints, as to where we’re going for Season 3, and our show is about otherness. That’s what it is and has been, from day one, and feeling other. You can’t help but wonder when you’ll be satiated and when you’ll feel like you have enough information, either in front of you or historically, to feel like you’re  happy with where you are. Ultimately, a lot of our characters are still asking those questions for themselves.

Have you also started to have conversations about how to go back to work and make sure that it is safe for everyone?

MASON: Absolutely. It’s been really inspiring to see the way that everyone is so willing to be creative and to take it very seriously, to figure out a way that we can get back to work, but do so safely. Everyone is just guessing, right now, and a lot of the suggestions range in possibilities, but the main thing we’re all saying is that we’re grateful that we’re now going to be a Season 3 show. We feel confident and we feel like we got in such a groove by Season, as a production, that I’m excited we’ll be able to get back to set. Even in honoring all of the protocol that we have to, I feel like we’ll be able to just connect back to the well-oiled machine that we are now. That is just a really gorgeous gift.

What’s it been like to be directed by Shiri Appleby? She’s been an actress for many years, she’s led a show more than once, herself, and she even played Liz in the original Roswell series. What sort of insight do you feel that gives her, as a director, that makes her different from everybody else?

MASON: The woman is a dream. People always ask me about what’s been the most surprising thing about being number one, and the most surprising thing is that I like it. I didn’t know how it would feel on me, and I love it. I hope to have a career like Shiri, where I get to do this again and again. I admire her because the reason she’s had that career is because she’s such a boss. She is 100, constantly. The woman is a machine, and it’s really just inspiring to be around her to see her life force at work. I’m a huge Shiri Appleby fan. I cannot wait for her to be back for Season 3, to direct us again. Every time she’s there, it’s fun to just pick her brain and get her advice. ’m living in New York now, and that was something I read by Shiri. She was like, “Oh, hell yeah, go to New York.” And I was like, “Okay.”

Has she inspired you to want to step behind the camera, at some point? Is directing something that you’re also looking to do?

MASON: Yeah. I’ve directed for stage. I love it, and I wanna do more of it. As of late, I’ve gotten more inspired. I think it’s also because I’m in New York and, prior to the pandemic, was seeing so much theater. I’m excited about just getting involved out here more, and finding my people out here. So, directing for stage excites me. It just brings back my dancing and all of the things I love about physicality and relation. I love the medium and the palette that is the stage. I’m excited about that, right now. But, we’ll see. Maybe, eventually, working with the camera will be exciting. To be honest, where I’m at right now, in my journey, is excitement about working with directors that I love. That will be next, hopefully.

Do you have a dream list of directors that you’d like to do a project?

MASON: Oh, man, so many. I would love to work with Guillermo Del Toro. He has such a love of cinema and a love of movement, and I love his brand of magic. I would love to play in his movies. It would be so fun. I have a lot of film aspirations. That’s the next frontier. I’ve always had aspirations to work with great filmmakers, absolutely, but now, it’s changed to great filmmakers who seem like a great time. I’m getting older. My 30s are coming, and what I really wanna do is spend my time, preciously. I wanna be with my family, and if I’m gonna be working, then I wanna be working with legit and delightful people. Hopefully, that’ll be the 30s.

~ Collider

[the-necessary-unnecessary]

Translation of the interview with Mapi Leon (Part 1: minutes 9:30 to 18:50)

- We have gone to Barcelona to get into the changing room and meet one of the players in that changing room who best knows Atletico de Madrid, as she played there not long ago. And that player is Mapi Leon. Hello Mapi!

Hello

- How are you facing this visit to Atletico de Madrid, are you all doing it a bit more relaxed keeping in mind what has come before with the result of the first game, the amount of goals you scored, the results Atletico has had lately, the results that you guys have had lately. Are you all a bit more relaxed or...

No

- ... you’re not lowering the bar in the slightest

No, no, no, not at all, not at all. [laughs] You already knew that I was going to say that.

- Yeah I knew that was going to be the case

No, not at all. I mean, maybe people might think that as there’s more distance [points wise in the table] then although we say we’re not lowering the intensity we must be even if it’s a bit. But not at all, that is to say um we arrived at a very similar situation last season, well we were i think 6 points away when we played at the Wanda and if we lost we’d be 9 away. And in the end, being the ones that are behind in the league, it’s everything or nothing. There is a lot of league left, I mean even if we hypothetically win this match it doesn’t mean that they would be completely defeated, at the end of the day there are still a lot of matches left and and we have to fight for them all until the league is over. But because of exactly that they are going to be, I imagine, extra motivated like we will be. Playing against Atletico de Madrid is always a great game...

- There’s no doubt about that

 There are no more words to explain it because in the end they have been taking the title for three years now. I mean, they have had some really great years these past few seasons and now its true that they have been having a bad streak but that doesn’t take away from the fact- well and they’ve also changed coach, the players have to win their spots, they have to work a lot.. and it is true that maybe they might not have a coach that doesn’t have as many days in the job as one who has been there longer would have but it is true that they are also going to be very motivated as it will be a new trainer and they will have to demonstrate that they deserve to play.

- in these days before the match, you who have played for Atletico de Madrid, do you talk to anyone who used to be your teammates? Do you exchange messages with then or in these situations does a footballer prefer to not talk with them- even if they’re friends like of course some of them are- is it best to not talk with them before facing each other?

Well, I’d imagine that it depends on what each person prefers to do but with me its true that I’m a bit careless with this kind of thing. [Presenter laughs] no its true its true i’m a bit careless. Well, I, maybe.. well no. Anyways I was talking to Angela not long ago as it was her birthday but I texted her about her birthday and little else. In these matches I individually also like to focus on the game and even when you get to the pitch I prefer to avoid meeting other people

- Yes so that the out of football life doesn’t affect the game

Yeah. Then after the game well you stay- well depending on the result you fancy staying to talk more or less. But I prefer to stay focused and then after the game whatever. But in the moment of the game and just beforehand I prefer to be only thinking about the match.

- You’re going into the match with some amazing stats Mapi. Talking about you, you are part of the defense and they have scored 6 goals against you in the Primera Iberdrola so far. I don’t know how to talk about this... my question would be, do you get bored this season in Barca where balls don’t seem to even reach the defensive line

It’s true that there are matches in which we do less but that is also due to the merit of the people up front who press very well, when they lose the ball they try to get it back fast, and all that. In the end we are also very clear about the way we play, how we like to be in possession, and if we can have the ball in their half then even better. It is also clear that we take risks and that those little inconveniences that maybe they’ll be a lot of pitch behind us etc etc. But anyways I think so far this year- I mean obviously we have mistakes and it’s normal but we work so that there’s as few as possible and because of that, as we have so few goals scored against us I am happy. But even those few goals bother me and they bother me a lot.

- And then there are 65 goals in favour, its an insane stat. I don’t know whether this has been seen before in a Primera Iberdrola because it’s win after win by a wide margin. In few matches have you guys scored fewer than three goals, even the defenders are scoring. What’s missing is your goal..

I know

- ...That I wonder where its gone, when it will arrive

It’s got lost somewhere

- But how do you view the winning streak in the changing rooms like jenni who has become the best goalscorer in the big European leagues, she’s the one who scores most goals. She scores them like churros [an idiom]. I don’t know whether this gets talked about between you all, if jenni talks about how on form she is at the moment. What does it feel like knowing that you have so much security with the people up front what with Oshoala, Hansen... there’s a lot of them. But I think right now, jenni is living one of her best moments.

To be honest, it doesn’t get talked about. But not because of anything in particular 

- Because she normalises right saying yeah this is normal

Yes well no, in the end she scores them and obviously some of us work so that they don’t score on us and others work so that we can score. Jenni is a spectacular player, she is really good. She has an impressive skill and well I hope it lasts and this year balls are hitting the back of the net that maybe last year wouldn’t. I don’t know whether this is because of working the game better, maturity of all the team as a whole. Last year maybe there were matches that the ball got stuck and wouldn’t go in however this year, so far, everything is going well. I mean, we’re scoring so I really hope it stays this way. 

- Why has Barça changed so much Mapi? We’ve been saying for lot of years, a lot of seasons that ‘this year barça will win the league, this year barça has the best squad in this history of women’s football in spain. But this year finally we are seeing that barça that we’d been waiting for for so many years. There will obviously be matches that are harder and there will be more balance between the teams but what has changed? Is maybe jenni the player who last year may have been missing from barça and that gave Atleti the final edge to win the title? What do you think has changed for barca to be such a steamroller this year this year whilst in previous years the team struggled so much?

My personal opinion... I mean in the end you also think because of things you hear or see and think ‘oh look this is interesting. It’s true that when a team, either male or female, has been so successful and has won a lot of titles in many cases it then has a slump. Its a slump because they’ve been winning for such a long time that its pretty normal that a team then has a lower period. And this is also affected by players moving around, obviously everything has a process, you also have to take into account the stability of both coach and players...  At the end of the day, regardless of how good they are they also have to bring into balance the type of play, the methodology of being a barca team. I also included myself here, when I came from Atleti there were a lot of things that changed. So sometimes all of that is a process, and only when all of it connects and comes together then it starts going your way. So I’d say that’s the main thing: we have matured as a team, we work during the games as hard as we can, maybe before we were more nervous... I think now we have grown, together. The new players who have come are, like always, very good players and they have come to really add something to the team which is great. So yeah, so far everything has been going on the right track. But we also have to work so that it stays this way as of course if we let our guards down now then that would be a mistake, it would mean starting to go backwards again and that’s the last thing that we should be doing.