#but speech never does anyways
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im still pissed abt Viktor being told "nooooo don't try to cure your terminal illness!!! dont try to fix your leg!!! you're beautiful because of it"
there was a way to write this that didn't feel gross. this was not that way. with more time; with him actually overstepping bounds and pushing on in spite of it instead of immediately becoming suicidal; with this desire to "fix himself" shown more to be because of external pressure instead of a desire to stop his escalating pain and impending death, i could have found this to not feel awful. but it does.
maybe just pointing out his leg as an example could have worked. especially if it was more heavily demonstrated that his desire to walk without mobility aids was rooted in insecurity (perhaps he proudly shows off to people that he can now walk "normally")
but using his terminal illness as an example is just gross. just "be happy you're going to die young because its part of what makes you who you are" GIRL WHAT???
especially when his terminal illness is rooted in systemic issues... eh. feels bad man.
#arcane#arcane critical#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#viktor arcane#i actually think Wolf 359 episode 42 Memoria does a much better version of this sort of speech#maybe i could write a short essay on that but im not sure anyone would find it interesting except me myself and i#might do it anyway#but anyways if someone ever told me “noooo dont wish you could find a solution for your back pain. its part of what makes you who you are”#i would throttle them#yes. it has been a part of what has shaped me into who i am that i was prevented from participating in most physical activities as a child#and i was never able to work a job as a teen#and i rarely go out shop with my friends#and i cant go to standing events more than *maybe* once a month (though even that is generous)#and i grew up with an inferiority complex because i thought everyone had back pain all the time and i was just weaker than everyone else#but do you REALLY think i dont want to be rid of it??? do you REALLY think my quality of life wouldn't be improved by having those experien
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he's the entire heart of this show and i'll say it a million more times idc
#i obviously heavily abridged that first convo w/ mary he gave her a whole thoughtful speech. his mother whom he never knew 😿#begging someone on this show to tend to SAM'S emotional needs for once he does it for everyone around him w/out being asked#anyway. kissing him :3#spn#liveblog tag#12.06
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aryu and tokimitsu are so special to me actually
#tokimitsu picking up styl/glam/osha as a manner of speech from him in canon is so cute.#but also i read tokimitsu's egoist bible profile and like. ougghhh. he is so unconfident. i think he thinks aryu is really cool#because he thought aryu was weird at first (he still does‚ a bit) but he admires how unapologetically himself aryu is and wishes he could be#like that. tokimitsu has never worn nail polish in his life and keeps his jair at that length because it's a Normal length no one would#judge him for. and then he meets all these freaks in blue lock who are not scared like he is. but aryu specifically is so flamboyant and#Unashamed it's just incredible to him.#and tokimitsu is like a scraggly baby pigeon to aryu. not quite glam but endearing. they've bonded.#actually aryu would probably rest a hand on tokimitsu's shoulder and be like 'you have strong muscles like a beautiful racehorse. that is#so glam of you.' to which tokimitsu is baffled but a little flattered. anyway i think aryu makes tokimitsu look at pictures of horses. and#they listen to music together. i think they would enjoy each other's favorite songs. and of course aryu would convince tokimitsu to let him#paint his nails so he can stop biting them (it's not stylish). tokimitsu wants to hide his hands afterward but cant help but notice how#his hands aren't so bad to look at with emerald green nail polish on them. it feels nice.#Where did this come from. Goodnight#masayapping#aryu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi
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sparkle on, tiberius ✨
#my art#low stakes 🦇#my old friend crimson-catalyst helped with the shoes!! basically drew the shoe sketch while i slept. please check out his art he's great#anyway not many vampires sparkle in my lore. like at all. it's a super rare trait even among the daywalkers. tiberius is a weird exception#most vampires just kinda burn. or crack. and otherwise can't deal with the sun very well#and most daywalker vampires - upon sun exposure - get these dark ashy marks on their skin instead#so most vampires don't even know sparkling like this is a thing that is possible#he sure is sparkling like a MARBLE STATUE ✨ (do they actually sparkle?? idk man it's probably just a figure of speech at this point)#happy birthday silly boy#anyway his birthday is feb 2nd and he'd be uhhh. 2144 years old today#a grecoroman idiot twink. i don't think he remembers his original name - his cause of undeath was drowning in the river of tiber though#being drunk on wine while accidentally becoming a vampire is never a good idea (major memory loss may happen)#so he's just been going by tiberius. for a while. like that's just his name now#for the record he is very gay. he doesn't call it that but he totally is#also i don't care for twilight sorry it's too romantic and mormon for my taste. but its vampire lore is funny and i'll borrow from anything#like the sparkles. maybe one vampire does sparkle. as a treat#hope you enjoyed my tag ramble. time to actually post
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Fwb with Oliver who expects he’ll have to break things off once you get too attached but it’s worth it for a little fun except u never get too attached in fact ur the one who has to tell him it’s over bc he’s gotten too clingy
#I’m thinking I’m having thoughts#my avoidant attachment comes out soooo full force w bllk men it’s crazy#but anyways…..u meet u hook up once#u think it’ll be a one time thing which ur cool with#but the Oliver proposes u make it a regular thing#it’s too good u get real slutty (and so does he) he’s not satisfied with one time#probably does some cheesy don’t fall in love w me speech#but u know what this is#except at some point lines start blurring#and Oliver starts to come over without even looking to have sex#he just wants ur company watch a movie order food#boyfriend things#except Oliver is not boyfriend material and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be#and while he knows he maybe should stop it#he can’t#cause he likes u#and maybe it has to end but he wants to keep it going as long as he can#until one day ur asking him to meet up#and telling him u don’t think it’s a good idea to keep hooking up#and the truth is ur falling for him#and u know he might be feeling the same way#but u tell him that u think he’s treating u too much like a girlfriend#u lay out the facts#he has no choice but to agree#he knew it was coming he just didn’t expect for u to be the one to break it to him#but now he can’t sleep bc he can’t call u before bed#and every time he hears your favorite song ur all he thinks about#and sometimes he picks up snacks u like when he’s out for when u come over but u don’t come over anymore#he’s never been so torn up about someone in his life#omg I reached the tag limit bye
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[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
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"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing
#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy.#sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.)#hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help.#don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again?#sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone#if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you.#even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting?#sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death.#so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion?#[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with#himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was#turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3)#GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES?#such a good fucking concept. squandered.#anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change.#hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference.#both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line.#and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right#hallucifer#spn#sam winchester#amy pond
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Someone talk me out of putting "my other car is a fucking warship" sticker on my wheelchair
#ive wanted to put this on my wheelchair for YEARS and now ive finally succumbed and bought the sticker#it got here in the mail today but im not sure if i should do it#don't worry fucking is bleeped out and the sticker is small so you'd have to get real close to see it#but im imagining ppl behind me on the bus maybed being bothered by it idk#although if someone got the reference id make an instant friend and it's funny anyways as my 'car' is a wheelchair lol#ive never decorated any of my mobility aids and i wouldn't beyond this sticker but i think it'd maybe be hilarious#to see that on there#but i also hate when ppl look at me or any attention and im physically disabled ppl stare enough but alsp#whenever i go to something like a ren faire in costume i can always say the stares are at my costume instead of abled stares reasons#so who knows maybe it'd have the 'theyre looking at my horns' kinda effect#ive had my chair for around six years now she needs some decorations#anyways yall got any recs of where i should put my other ten stickers? my art bin is nearly packed 😁#p#the fucking warship speech obviously lives in my head rent free#as does the entire show but Anyways
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Also remembering that I get to write wolfwood next chapter and I'm a widdle nervous bc this is a Big Moment and I only wrote him a little bit with Sentido and it's been 8 months since then
But im also REALLY excited bc I get to finally (FINALLY) start executing the vashwood concepts I'd thought up at the damned START of this fic
So much relationship development to get to. So much Wolfwood to get to. Very exciting things.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#ive got a pretty solid grasp on wolfwood I Think but also#i think i wanna do some more research into him before i write hin#im gonna need to read more of the manga Anyways.#i need to study his mannerisms and speech patterns and the ways he interacts with the world#because i have a good idea of it already but a lot of my concept of him does exist in fanon#because it's been A Bit since ive actually read the manga.#and i never want to base my writing off of fanon. never ever ever. that's fatal writing error number One.#i pride myself on my rock solid characterizations. for side characters it doesnt matter as much#but the 2nd person in the main pairing? ostensibly the 2nd most important character to the fic?#yeah im not gonna fuckin base him off of what i have in my mind from however much fanfiction.#it's like the difference between accuracy and precision. by following fanon characterizations#someone might be able to be Precise about his characterization. in that they write him consistently and according to common perception.#but fanon very often exists Just to the left of what canon actually is. so it may be precise but not accurate#at least with regard to canon characterizations.#i want my characterization to be both precise And accurate. i want people to read my fic and go 'yeah thats trimax wolfwood'#with vash i do sprinkle in a few of my favorite things from the other versions too. same with the girls.#and maybe i'll do that a bit with wolfwood. but also hes so very different between the 3 iterations#that he might as well be different characters in all of them.#this is first and foremost a trimax fic. so i WILL have trimax wolfwood in it.#i may look up general guides for writing him if theyre around. but tbh i will rely more on my own research probably.#i have my own system for writing anyways. the sliding scales of different qualities that guides my general word choices for dialog#ive explained it before. dont really wanna get into it again.#i need to solidify in my mind where ww exists on the axes of intelligence politeness kindness and formality#among others. while also paying attention for any kind of repeat words or phrases that he likes to use#that i can pepper in to make it Sound Like Him.#thats the key to how i do general dialog lol. it's of course guided by who they are as a person#but word choice is done through the general perception of them along a set of axes. this is how it goes for All my writing.#im. rambling. whoops. anyways im excited for wolfwood. Soon...
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Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?
I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.
Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP ����
Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.
The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.
Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡
#the great thing about disliking your own fave is that they simply do not have the power to disappoint you lol#like her stans (at least those who arent complete sycophants—which sadly is not most) are breaking down over Babys 1st Cognitive Dissonance#meanwhile im just over here chilling lol#ive also just NEVER been particularly invested in her personal life anyways so im gucci on that front too#i didnt even realize specific songs were about specific celebrity exes until *several* years into listening to her music#thats how unplugged i am lol#she is unusually extremely visible in the collective conscious right now cause of the tour and this insufferable PR blitz#but the absolute best thing for me is when she disappears and i dont have to perceive her -- the actual person -- outside of her music#and then it can just be me and my lifelong companion the fictional character “taylor swift” (c)(r)(tm)#so personally the only real threat this hangs over my head is the thought she might put him on an album#like that does strike real terror in my heart im ngl#ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god#and given the way hes been tailing her in and out of that damn studio . . . its not looking good for me kids 🥴#i cant believe she would be that dumb after making the same mistake with joe on folklore#cause even tho now she has to suffer the indignity of sharing a grammy with her ex (LMAO)#at least we can understand that at the time she thought they were in it for life#but if she pulls that shit again with a REBOUND??? just to like stick it to joe or further delude herself or whatever?#idk im gonna need interpol or somebody to step in and do something drastic like this is a cry for help#did you guys see that euphoria meme someone made about her deranged “ive never been happier!!!!” speech the other day?#it was SO funny ill go find it
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"this world will live on...!" girl no it wont im sorry
#posts in a drainage system#still. undyne's death monologue in genocide is really cool tbh#because really. we dont know how many monsters alphys managed to evacuate. we dont know how big the underground really is#there are ABSOLUTELY parts of it that you never explore in game and thats so wild to me. like.#even though alphys isn't fighting you directly she's probably one of the most important people in the narrative during the genocide run#and yet . none of it really matters in the end. does it#because by the end of genocide you have to make the decision to kill them all in the blink of an eye—as youve been doing the entire game—#or try to convince yourself in one last desperate act that you werent guilty for any of this by letting chara erase the world instead.#the final choice of the genocide run honestly makes me so wacky. like man . i could go ON about that shit#anyways this was about undynes speech. but yeah its a perfect example of dramatic irony for people familiar with the story#and if you aren't. youve probably become dissociated from your feelings about these characters if youve gotten this far into the geno run#BUT this speech is still so powerful. like maybe the monsters WILL find away to live on after this. even after their families and way of#life have been completely destroyed. even though that's the complete OPPOSITE of what youre trying to achieve during genocide#agh . such a good game
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"drama" this "[x] is so annoying" that ok what about editblr positivity . loving and appreciating the edits others make for other people to use at no cost other than some credit . "[name] is so annoying" how about who's style do you like the most . how about who's your go to to request from because you appreciate and admire their style and personality . what about that
#➳ the fool speaks#i think all i have to say abt . y'know ermm uhh That . is like#i think the community more than anything needs positivity#yeah i know i know some stuff is annoying and you don't have to like everyone but letting people show their worse sides anonymously#never really goes well now does it .#i think venting your frustrations about certain behaviors is valid but there's a line that if crossed leads to like#hate speech and harassment and stuff#and it's very easy for people to cross it when they get to say whatever they want anonymously#i hope at the least . like one or two blogs focused on spreading positivity or generally more lighthearted stuff show up#that's like the least though . erm#and just to say it blatantly : WISHING DEATH UPON PEOPLE YOU JUST . DON'T LIKE . IS NOT OKAY !! DON'T FUCKING DO THAT#also I think a lot of people like posting about ''whered all the small original blogs go ☹️☹️'' and then not support small blogs#not everyone not everyone that's important there's so many awesome blogs that uplift smaller editors and ily all#but anyways . off topic . i just felt the need to say Something idk
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found more old promarkers art (2017?) of my long forgotten zhen guy (i dont even remember his name and i drew him like twice 💔 had a full lore about him at some point)
i hate how clashing the colors are but i like the bg
i did some quick color edits on my phone cuz the og drawing has terrible contrast imo its just all merging together vvv
i think its unsalvageable like this i would still add more shadow and better balance like either make the top bg even darker or the ground much darker and separate the whites
#old art#i think i ended up just calling him Zhen all the time anyway#definitely inspired by that one zhen manga i forgot what it was about but this guy was like a lil poisonous bird kept in a dark cage#one day being sold after his old owner died or something and a guy just walking past saw the big crowd trying to see the bird man#he got super angry that a human (he didnt see the difference and thought its more like a costume lol) was being tied and caged so he made a#scene and cut up the ropes/chains and destroyed the cage or whatever and fought the seller cuz he noticed that the bird man is looking#a bit too sad to be in on it and he would just stand there looking like 😳🥺🐦 so he just tossed him over the shoulder and ran away#and like it obvs wasnt easy to outrun a crowd but they somehow managed and it was like#so are you a bird thing? cant you fucking fly?#then he learns he doesnt really speak (he does know human speech but was never allowed to speak out loud so it doesnt come easily)#anyway bird man thinks damn someone finally treating me like a person is this real? and rescue guy being like damn this guy is a handful#and then they eventually got together cuz i had the yaoi disease#nooo dont touch me im poisonous ><#for that you have to actually eat poisonous stuff and its only your feathers you dunce#noo im poisonous all over nooo dont bite me youll die bfbgdhdgdgg#zhen lore
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.
#seriously though. why does it take being on the brink of annihilation to make any progress.#why does it take being ten minutes away from never breathing again before I realize that the dream I was always afraid of is now achievable#can't study until ten minutes before the test. can't realize your life goals and dreams until five minutes before you fucking die#well the good news is I've realized that my social anxiety and speech issues are maybe manageable enough#that maybe what I've always wanted to do isn't totally impossible due to my own personal shortcomings anymore#color says shit#like. I'm only about to think clearly about myself and my identity and my goals when I hit the point of not caring about anything at all#and I just sit back and toss my life around like a bouncy ball and go hmm what should I do with this thing hhmm?#and it matters equally whether I keep it in my pocket or cut it in half or toss it in the trash.#it's just so fucking annoyinggggg.#anyway. don't even be worried. I live like this constantly. it's probably not good for me but oh well. consider me like an art exhibit#or maybe an animal at the zoo. I'm just a curiosity.#maybe less of an animal at the zoo. they have people who take care of them. lions don't have to do their own taxes and cook dinner#tag talk
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#i mean honestly............. salute to ppl who connected to amy.....#but this is exactly what makes the storyline (blagh) and sexist for me sldkfjsd#this whole implication that growing up = settling down#the way the camera oogles at her kissogram outfit .... even in these caps.... it's just gross man#and rory's viewpoint is always set as ''the right one'' and eleven as ''the wrong choice'' / ''an escape''.#and the actual like... childhood trauma and mental health stigma angle#which i do dig and this post mentions#... it's just left by the wayside? like lbr. only time it is is really confronted is TGWW ep#which saves amy's story in the second half time but then is like... pointless cause that amy dies dslkjdfk#i dont know man#i like amy and again i think the *interpretation* that some ppl have about amy's plot are cool#but much like with like. thirteen's era... i dont feel these come to fruition by the end. i feel they get kinda lost by other things#(love triangle angle. ''settling down / comforming is growing up''. the whole baby trauma ignored. etc)#anyway lol and people in the tags like ''aaaa if you dont like it is because you didnt get iiiit''#nah thanks man i did get it. that's why i didnt like it sdlkjfksld (via @brilliantfantasticgeronimo)
amy pond: on beauty, ageing and birth ( part two here )
[ all text with grey background is from the lovely @amelia <3 the most accomplished amy scholar of our time || the eleventh hour, flesh and stone, meanwhile in the tardis, amy’s choice, S5 draft of the doctor’s wife ]
#yeah. i get that amy 'growing up' by choosing rory and giving up the doctor is the right decision according to the text#i just hate it#ooooh a female character finds fulfillment by becoming a wife and mother wow that's never been done before#and that's so clearly what 'growing up' means to moffat#amy choses rory over the doctor in tatm and gets immortalized on her tombstone as amy WILLIAMS#so yeah the sexism is very much present but even apart from that... it's such a weird choice to me?#'traveling with the doctor is bad actually' does seem to rather undermine the premise of the show i have to say#(but he did it with clara too so it must be intentional!)#and it seems so inconsistent with how moffat wrote the doctor - esp eleven#with constant speeches about how amazing he is and 'i am the doctor' blaring in triumph all the time#how can the doctor be the bestest person ever who always makes the right choices and 'never would'#(ughhhhhh but that's a whole other rant lol)#but also be so bad for his companions????? make it make sense#anyway i hope all of you are enjoying my moffat!who takes in 2024#amy pond#doctor who#not moffat friendly
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I'm really, really sorry that happened to your friend, anon. I hope they were able to recover and get justice for what happened to them, and that you've been able to work through it too.
Thank you :) I'm not close enough with her to necessarily be privy to all her deepest feelings, but as far as I can tell, she really is fine and has been for a long time. She's a teacher and doing really well.
And yeah, I don't feel that way--like I'm looking through that filter--anymore, and a big part of that (not to overshare, but hey, maybe someone will read this and it will help them?) was getting diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Since I was a kid I'd felt like violence and death were always lurking, to a degree that was illogical, and then the attack on my friend made that worse because it seemed like oh, I was right to feel that way. But getting worse eventually led to a diagnosis, which has led to getting a lot better! :)
(x)
I'm really glad both you and your friend are doing better and that the diagnosis helped, anon! It's wonderful when diagnoses give us not just a vocabulary and tools for what we experience, but an understanding of ourselves and I guess, context?
Not the same exactly, but my littlest nephew has a severe speech disability which has gone through about five almost-diagnoses and multiple tests which is crazy given he's only 6-years-old. He finally got an actual diagnosis a few months ago (childhood apraxia of speech, or CAS) and while there's complicated feelings involved in knowing talking isn't going to be something that'll ever be easy for him, even just getting to understand it better as a motor disability as opposed to a cognitive one has been extremely useful in helping us to support him in using his voice.
He doesn't really understand what his diagnosis means yet (although he knows people outside of the family struggle to understand him) but it's helped get him into more specific speech therapy and, if my sister wins relocation in family court next month, there's some social groups here in Melbourne where he can hopefully be around kids who are experiencing the same disability (it's a rare one, and there ae just more kids with it in the city) and understand what he's going through as he grows up. So yeah! It's pretty cool when a diagnosis offers not just pathways forwards, but a deeper understanding of self and points of connection too.
#they thought he had cerebral palsy for about 18 months when he was a toddler which was a lot#because the muscular development in his legs was also abnormal#and they needed him to do all these medical tests but then delayed everything because this was at the start of covid and#the doctors were like if he DOES have cerebral palsy he can't be anywhere near a hospital full of sick people during a pandemic#so there's been so many holding patterns#but they had him start seeing a physio for his legs and that basically improved his development#and then they finally did all the cp tests and it wasn't that so it was like two years of weight y'know?#he was born really prematurely and was in nicu for 12 weeks#and we've just been writing all this into my sister's affidavit so it's very front of mind again#but the first two years of his life were just failed development test after failed development test which is just such a shit way#of articulating like#how an infant is growing?#one of my best friend's is actually a nicu nurse and she's always saying we need to change the language around children born prematurely#because they're never going to have normal development milestones in the first two years#but anyway this is way more information than you require hahaha#like i said just front of mind again#anyway his speech therapist now has him practicing pokemon names constantly#and as i often help out with his homework over facetime i now know more pokemon than any adult should haha
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