#regardless of who you find attractive in that lineage

[mari-lair]

Idk of u read the new chapter yet BUT these two panels look ODDLY similar...do u think teru and natsuhiko have similar powers or something?

I have a theory that is very out there, but since you asked my opinion...

Not only do I think there is similarity to their powers, I would go as far as to say Natsuhiko is part exorcist.

Exorcist blood has always been special. We see Teru open a gate between boundaries in chapter 70, and Yorimitsu used his blood to make a contract with No.6, so their blood has influence over the supernatural.

Natsuhiko is treated as a normal student, a living being: Everyone in Nene’s class can see him, he is part of class 2-D, and acts as if participating in the school festival is normal, unlike Sakura.

There is also this official art of him with a sword, which so far in the manga only exorcists have 'weapons'.

Natsuhiko does not exorcise supernaturals though, he lives with them, many of his quirks making him seem inhuman. And I personally don't think exorcists are fully human, they must have some supernatural blood in their lineage, some deep connection.

Minamotos are inclined to like supernaturals despite being tasked to eliminate them. Hanako is basically the personification of supernaturals to Kou but the young exorcist overall sees him as a friend, Tiara got attached to a Mokke, and even Yorimitsu, who had heavily implied there is something wrong with his emotional attachment, took a liking to No.6. He stayed with the demon on his death bed.

Humans also don’t have fangs, no matter how dramatic the manga paneling can get, only supernaturals and the Minamotos have fangs.

 Exorcists can eat monster's body parts without needing to make a contract, so while they have spiritual energy that is destructive to supernaturals, and resistance to their power, their body doesn't reject supernaturals and their influence.

Exorcists are built to give a lot of damage to supernaturals and protect humans, it is heavily implied their spiritual energy can’t hurt humans, but who can they hurt? Half humans, and themselves.

And Natsuhiko’s blood hurt supernaturals, not humans. Possibly himself too, since it is the first time he actually commented on how it's 'painful' to do this despite being thrown in deadly and hurtful situations a lot. (tho it could just be pain from the cut, I still find it strange he comments it's painful.)

He is influenced by rumors which is a supernatural trait, not a human one, and Minamotos are not affected by rumors.

...Or are they?

Since i’m already going wild, i’ll throw another out of pocket theory here: Teru does gain powers by rumor, that’s where his astronomical popularity comes from.

The other character we are told to be ‘the peak of beauty’ in this manga is Aoi, who was unnaturally beautiful since young, and attracted attention even as a toddler. While Teru seems isolated, not just from an ‘I'm not normal’ perspective.

But he got a popularity jump so big at some point that both boys and girls are interested, able to loudly proclaim their love, his beauty is so amazing it overshadows Aoi's, to the point, someone suggested they made a Teru pavilion. A pavilion that has a BIG line.

His beauty is the first thing we learn about Teru: His introduction is as a ‘handsome and dreamy boy’,  not as an exorcist or any of his main traits, because that’s what Nene, and most of the school, sees him as.

Such hypnotizing beauty mysteriously disappears outside school. He has no fans or stalkers on the streets, and absolutely no one that isn’t from school ever comments on his beauty. Which is not the case with Aoi. 

I know people have always been more respectful to Teru than to Aoi (misogyny is a bitch) but this is not just a change of approach caused by respect, Teru has no admirers at all in the city. Aoi is beautiful outside school too, people can’t help but stare and want her, it is a genuine problem she always had, but Teru, who should make everyone swoon regardless of gender or how weird he acts, is not worth even passing comments, he is treated as a normal guy outside school. A pretty boy, sure, but nothing special.

[blaacknoir]

Re: the Adam Driver post

Someone replied (then blocked, so I had to go incognito to find it): remember when this site didn’t get horny over nazis?

First of all, it was solely about his looks and appearance. Regardless of what you think of Kylo Ren (a fictional character) this wasn't about him. It was about the appearance of Adam Driver vs. Oscar Isaacs and John Boyega.

Second, Kylo Ren isn't a Nazi, because Kylo Ren exists in a fictional universe. He has never, to my recollection, displayed any hint of white supremacy, homophobic attitudes, or anything else Nazis stood for.

Third, the arc of Kylo Ren Ben Solo is incredibly important to me. He was an abuse victim, groomed from birth by Snoke via the Force. He was assumed to be evil because of his lineage. His lineage which was hidden from him. And he woke up in middle of the night to find his uncle--a man that he loved and trusted, both as a family member and a teacher--about to fucking murder him. When he was a teenager. When he was a fucking child.

(His uncle, by the way, who never apologizes for trying to murder him.)

He continues to be abused by Snoke as he gets older, torn apart because of the conflict within him--the dark that he tries to embrace, because he feels as though it's his only choice, and the light that he feels he doesn't deserve. He became a monster because that's how he was treated.

And yet.

And yet.

There was good in him. There was always good in him. And finally, finally someone sees it. Someone tells him that he is good. He is worthy of love. He is not owed forgiveness, he is not exempt from the horrors he's committed, but nonetheless, he is still worthy of love. He has done monstrous things, but he is not a monster.

And do you understand how important that statement is? To people who have hurt others? To people who have been hurt by others?

I got into Star Wars in 2016, about a year after I cut my dad off for Reasons. He hurt me and has never showed any sign of apology, or any interest in reconnecting. But in 2016, Ben Solo's inevitable redemption arc gave me hope that... maybe he would. Maybe there was a possibility that my dad would redeem himself. It offered me hope that someone who had been very important to me might realize he hurt me. And... that helped me through a hard time in my life.

I was also struggling with the fact that I'd made some stupid decisions when I was younger and said some stupid stuff, and it helped me realize that I wasn't defined by that either. I could grow and change, and be better than the person I had been.

I don't "simp for fictional Nazis." I relate to the story of a manipulated kid who ended up realizing that he was more than that. A story about growth and redemption resonated with me during a time when I needed it.

Honestly, if you look at Ben Solo and all you see is "fictional Nazi" then... that's a you problem. And if you look at Adam Driver's large nose and ears, crooked teeth, and pockmarked skin and think there's something wrong with me for finding that attractive?

Then I'm really not sure what to tell you there.

[emmyrosee]

This may be unpopular but I don't find Valter attractive, there is something that doesn't work for me. Tbh I have only seen photos or gif of him streaming. But for me it's just Bill, then Alex. I would like to be in a sanwich between them, I have two holes for a reason lol.

Some people are into it, some people aren’t. I know there are plenty of actors and actresses I don’t find attractive and would get beaten up for admiring so☺️

I, personally, want that blonde Swede to make me scream

As for Bill and Alexander..... woof...🥵😍

Hell fuck it even gustaf, the more the merrier

And Sam and Eija? Cutest!!!!

[knchins]

Hunger - Todoroki S.

Summary: Todoroki Shouto doesn’t want to follow the footsteps of his father. On the brink of starvation, he hears the call of a witch who finds a way to fulfill both of their needs.

Pairing: Incubus!Shouto x Witch!Reader

Rating: E+

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Sm*t, v*ginal fingering, v*ginal s*x, oral s*x, c*nnilingus, choking, some mentions of (consensual) breeding, soft!dom Shouto, some begging ig, some mentions of sugar daddy/baby, Shouto is several centuries old and is of age, oh and some fluff

Notes: This was my very first request I think??? I got it months ago lol so idk if this person if even still following me RIP. But I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope they enjoy it wherever they are <3 I did deviate a little bit but not TOO much.Censored words is so I can show up in the gd tags.

 Dealing with demons had become sort of a pastime for her, the young witch living in the secluded wood out in the countryside. She greatly enjoyed the remoteness, though sometimes it did come to a great disadvantage. Travelers would come, asking for potions or spell-work, something to help them with their troubles in life. As a grey witch (one who practiced both white and black magic), she tended to be able to help just about anyone with anything. Of course there were a few lines she wouldn’t cross such as raising the dead or directly causing death. She did have some morals after all, albeit somewhat controversial ones.

 Whenever she needed an item that she simply had no access to, then she would call upon demons to aid her in her work. The first couple times she had been a little reluctant and she would be lying if she didn’t say she had a few close calls, but ultimately demons could be bartered with just as humans could. The lower leveled ones were rarely smart enough to outwit her or ask for something she just couldn’t give. So far, dealings were good and they only became better when she met him.

 On the fourth or fifth time she called out for help, this time she needed a rare desert root for a drying spell, she followed the same procedure as always. She lit her candles, drew a summoning sigil on the floor, and chanted the words that would bring her the closest demonic being that felt the urge to heed her call. She specifically did it in a way that powerful demons would not be attracted. In fact, she would much prefer to keep them away for they were much smarter and more conniving, and ultimately not worth the risk. This time though...this time someone with a little more juice than what she normally found herself bargaining with appeared before her.

 Todoroki Shouto was an incubus with the most prestigious lineage of any sex demon that resided in hell. His father was known by all demonic beings. He was number one in his class, The closest to king that anyone of them could truly be. He had also fathered more children than any other demon, enjoying ruining human women to the point that they could no longer be satisfied by mortal men. Shouto found it distasteful. The way Enji wold flux his hormones so that any woman within a few hundred feet would simply beg for him to fuck her, to breed her, to make her his. He had more half-siblings than he could count in addition to the three full-blooded ones. His mother had also been a high class demon with a pedigree, though her whereabouts were currently unknown.

 He was minding his own business, taking a nice walk through the woods in the mortal realm when he heard the call. There was a tugging sensation on his chest and a melodic voice ringing in his ears. It was not a call for someone like him. Someone capable of such true  power. Yet, something drew him in. Something about that voice had his interest piqued. He couldn’t resist answering her quickly, less some other demon came to her first.

 He appeared before her, hair split down the middle perfectly. One half red like his father’s, the other white as his mother’s. One dark grey eye and another a brilliant blue, his white button-down shirt loose fitting with a few top buttons undone to show off his chest. If he wanted to lure in the opposite sex then he could with ease, but Todorki Shouto had a secret. One that made him much less powerful than he could be.

 The witch was taken aback by the demon in front of her. He was certainly the most handsome she had ever seen, most lower level ones were not very pleasing to look at. It made them easier to deal with. Her curious eyes blinked as if to make sure he was really there. Immediately she could sense that something was off about him. Something wasn’t quite right, however she could not pinpoint what it was.

 Shouto regretted answering the call immediately. The witch he had been summoned by was possibly the most beautiful creature he’d ever set eyes on. She was pure beauty and grace, more stunning than anyone residing in hell or earth. In fact, part of him wondered if maybe she was an angel. However the various bottles of herbs and assorted animal parts quickly led him to believe that she was not divine. She was simply mortal and in need of help.

 “Oh an incubus.” She said, still looking very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “What a surprise. I’m not sure if you can help me or not. You’re a little out of my league.” The last part seemed like a joke but Shouto wasn’t entirely sure.

 “Why did you call for me here?” He asked calmly, his face perfectly blank though his eyes were fixated on her.

 “I’m in need of something for a spell.” She said honestly, “Sometimes I call upon demons to help me gather items I cannot easily get.”

 “Is that not dangerous?” He asked, starting to look more intrigued than anything. “Do you not worry about your safety?”

 The witch let out a nervous laugh, “Well, lower levels ones aren’t much of a problem for me. You’re a bit more than I’m used to. I’m surprised you even heard it honestly.”

 Shouto knew immediately why he heard it. Because as it stood, his power level was that of some lower tier demon. He had only fed twice since coming of age. His hunger was almost maddening. It had been eating away at him for decades. But he would not be his father. He would not be a glutton for sex and breeding. He refused to follow in his very heavy footsteps.

 “I was simply within range.” He said, though she knew that him happening to be close by to her didn’t really mean much. The spell was designed to not be heard by anyone over a certain power level. Could an incubus really be below that? “What do you need?”

 “A root.” She replied, flipping through one of the many of her family’s grimoires. She found the page that had a drawn picture, name, and general description. “This one.”

 “You’re doing a drying spell.” He said out loud by mistake. He knew because he had had this particular spell cast on him many times throughout the years, though recently it seemed to be working less and less. It was to dry up sexual desire. It was one of the few things that helped him get by so long without feeding. Without it he would have been driven insane by lust many decades ago.

 The witch cocked her head at him curiously, “yes, I am. For a client. She’s tired of having children but her husband just won’t stay off of her. She’s hoping it’ll get him to stop.” She paused for a moment, “Can you get it?”

 “Yes.” he replied dumbly, as if it were totally obvious.

 “What is your price?” She asked then, realizing he didn’t catch the implied question.

 Shouto thought for a moment, it was about time to recast the spell judging by the lecherous thoughts that were starting to cross his mind. “Can you perform another one?”

 She looked perplexed for a moment before it dawned on her why he heard her incantation. He was starved. And he must have been for some time too. “I can but I think I can do something else for you that will be much more beneficial.”

 “And what is that?” Shouto asked, wondering if perhaps there was another spell or potion out there that was more powerful and thus would be more effective.

 “Just have sex with me.”

 That was how it started. Any time the young witch needed something, she’d do a more specific summoning spell, one that only Shouto could hear. And every time he’d come, no matter what he was doing, to aid her. She would often jokingly call him her demonic sugar daddy because he provided everything for her for the low low price of coitus.

 The first couple times had been a little awkward. Shouto’s abilities were almost dormant. He fumbled his way about her body which was quite embarrassing for a sex demon. However after a few practice rounds the two truly began to find what got the other off the most. And in half a dozen sessions Shouto was feeling power, but with power came hunger.

 When he appeared before her hearth one night, without an invitation, the woman nearly threw an old vase full of nightshade at him in terror. She only put it down when she realized it wasn’t just any random intruder, but her newfound lover. She hadn’t needed anything in quite some time now. Hadn’t called on him because business had been rather slow and the jobs she did get, she didn’t need anything from him. Perhaps it was a little cruel of her to not call on him regardless, but she honestly did not know how much his appetite had grown. How it began to consume him until all he could think about was her, naked and writhing beneath him as he pounded into her. He craved her and only her. It was not something that ever really happened to Incubi. After all they could have anyone they wanted. But he didn’t want anyone else. He only had eyes for her.

 “Shouto.” She breathed out, heart still racing as she set down the clay vase. “I wasn’t expecting you, did you need something?”

 His eyes were fiery as he stepped towards her and she could smell the faint scent of hell on him. She wondered if maybe he had another argument with his father. He had told her a little about his family life during post-sex cuddles. It wasn’t much but she knew he hated the demon that sired him. He always seemed to be wound extra tight after coming straight from hell, and that was usually the reason.

 “Go bend your ass over the bed.” He said, further unbuttoned the flowy shirt he typical wore. Her eyes grew wide, embarrassment heating her face as she took a small step away from him. It wasn’t really out of fear, just a simple reflex. He never really got demanding of her like this, maybe something was wrong.

 But the warmth pooling between her legs told her that despite the interruption, despite having not planned this whatsoever, hearing him order her to get into the bedroom had her flooding with desire, and he could smell it.

 Shouto didn’t really have to use his pheromones to seduce her. He was naturally attractive and had a body that looked as if it had been sculpted out of marble. No, he never used them before but he was definitely using them now and they had her weak in the knees as she trembled. She walked on shaky legs into her bedroom, keeping her thighs pressed together as she walked in an attempt to hide the wetness that was accumulating in her panties. It was pointless though. He could always tell.

 He left his shirt in the living room and kicked off his boots on his way to the bedroom. He lost his pants at the entryway, watching as she leaned over the side of the bed and resting on her forearms. Her eyes large and doe-like at the rush of adrenaline. Sex with with a sex demon was always an unforgettable experience. It was easy to see how people went mad over it. The way he made her feel, the orgasms he gave her, none of it compared to any other lover she had ever had. Perhaps that was one reason why she had been so willing to listen to him just now. She knew he’d make her feel good, and who didn’t like to feel good?

 Shouto padded over, dropping to his knees behind her as he pushed her skirt up over her ass so that the fabric could bunch at her waist. His nimble fingers hooked around the elastic of her panties and he slid them down with an odd amount of carefulness. He practically buried his nose into her sex, inhaling that sweet scent of arousal that had him feeling absolutely feral. His tongue came to prod at her clit, causing a small whimpering sound to come from her.

 He dragged his tongue over every inch of her pussy, savoring it fully until she was a quivering mess with shaking knees that threatened to make her fall down. “Let me breed you.” He said between kitten licks. “You can have anything in return.”

 They had been using protection until then. Sex demons were incredibly fertile and typically had no trouble creating offspring. But at the time when this started, Shouto didn’t want to sow his wild oats like his father had. This witch had him wanting to throw all of that to the wind. He just didn’t care. That drive to fuck without any sort of barrier was maddening.

 Anything from a demon was a very big price tag, and Shouto had never tried to deceive her. He had never been anything other than honest. And despite all her teachers to never trust a demon, she found herself trusting him. Every time their bodies intertwined she fell more and more in love, no matter how much she had tried to resist. She had thought some distance would have helped ease her feelings, but apparently it had been hard on both of them.

 “Y-yes,” She gasped out as he latched onto her clit to suck, “Ple-please, Shouto, fill me with your cum.” She was gripping the old quilt on her bed tightly to try and keep herself grounded, but the way he was eating her out, two lithe fingers now dipping into her dripping core made it impossible to even think straight. All she could think about was her simple need to have him inside of her.

 He didn’t stop working his fingers or tongue until she hit her first peak, moaning out for him in a way that had him nearly cumming prematurely. The strain in his underwear was painful now as he throbbed with need. After one long lick along her slit he stood up, grabbing onto the globes of her ass for pretend support.

 “Tell me what you want me to do, Little Witch.” He said as he pulled down his briefs and kicked them away as if they were the most offensive thing in the world to him. “You’re shaking like you want to say something. So say it.”

 “I need you,” She said, somehow sounding out of breath despite not having done anything besides orgasm. “Shouto, I need you so much.” He wrapped one hand around his cock, pumping in slowly as he watched her continue to tremble. “Please fuck me!”

 The amount of lust he was feeling for this one mortal woman was dizzying. No one had ever told him that one person could have this kind of effect on a demon. Neither his father nor his two older brothers. Was it that far fetched to think that something was happening to him that had never happened to them before? They all had a primal drive for sex but never towards one specific person. Shouto found that he desired no one else in any of the realms. He only wanted her.

 He pushed it without any hesitation, feeling her tense suddenly at his thickness stretching her out. He watched with fascination as he disappeared inside of her cunt, the warm, wet feeling enveloping him like summer rain. “Fuck,” He couldn’t stop himself from cursing and just how amazing it felt to be inside her. It was like taking that first breath of fresh air after being held underwater for an extended period of time. It was so damn freeing.

 The witch relaxed against the mattress, her eyes closed to focus on that beautiful feeling of him completing her with his cock. Shouto took hold of her hips to keep her upright and steady as he pulled out slowly before bottoming out all over again, her slick making for the best lubricant as he moved with ease.

 It started slow. Shouto wanted to revel in the heat. He wanted to drink in the feeling of her walls clamping down around him. The sound of her tiny whimpers when he pushed all the way in after pulling out. But this was much too slow for her, she couldn’t handle such a torturous rhythm. Shouto had eternity but his little mortal did not. Her time was limited and the thought of that made his heart suddenly ache.

 “F-Faster,” She dared to mumble to him, sometimes he’d punish her if she begged too much. If she didn’t let him enjoy himself properly. Today was not one of those days though. Today Shouto wanted to hear her cry for his cock.

 So he obliged, increasing his pace as his fingers dug into the flesh of her hips. His witch began to moan even louder as he hit that sweet spot again and again, making her dizzy with ecstasy. She never lasted long when it came to sex with Shouto, something he took great pride in. He loved nothing more than to give her multiple orgasms.

 But this view just wasn’t doing it for him. He pulled out abruptly, making her cry at the sudden emptiness. He flipped her over onto her back, ripping at her blouse so that it was torn wide open for him. Then he tugged down her bra to free her breasts before reinserting himself into her. He watched her face contort with pleasure, the glossy look in her eyes as he began to pound into her at a relentless pace. The hypnotizing way her tits bounced with every thrust, they were just so perfectly in sync with one another. It was the definition of beauty.

 Shouto brought a thumb to her clit, lightly pressing on it in a way that had her clamping down on him even more. It was as if she was trying to suck him in deeper, never wanting to be without him again. He grunted at this sensation, eyes burning with lust as her mouth made that perfect “o” formation with her eyes rolling back as her second orgasm overcame her.

 He never talked much during sex, choosing to be a silent observer. Every now and then he’d give a command or order, but that was about it. He had never been much one for dirty talk like his father or eldest brother. The witch was fine with this. He made it hard enough for her to think without adding the pressure of comprehending something as complex as language.

 Just when she thought he might be coming to his end, he increased his pace even more. She whined, still feeling incredibly sensitive from the first two orgasms. At least he had the decency to take his thumb from her aching clit. Instead he reached up and wrapped his hand around her bare throat, squeezing just enough to lessen the flow of oxygen and blood to her brain.

 She gasped for air, her moans less audible now as air came out in strangled puffs. He would loosen just enough to give her a small break before tightening back up again. She grabbed at his wrist, and he waited for her sign that it was too much. A double tap anywhere on his body with her pointer and middle finger, or their safe word if she could manage it was all he needed to tell him that he’d gone too far. But neither came and so he continued to abuse her pussy with a pace so fast no human could possibly keep up, and only when she was screaming his name a third time did he finally release himself.

 Shouto came inside her for the very first time. Normally he pulled out even with a condom on. He really wanted to take no risk. This time, this time he had to claim her as his somehow. If any other demon were to come to her then then they’d smell him all over her. They’d think twice before crossing a Todoroki, that was just how well known his family was.

 He removed his hand from her neck, before leaning down to kiss it softly. His nose nuzzled the underside of her jaw in a way that might have appeared to be loving if either of them knew what that word really meant. Her heavy breathing slowly calmed down, delicate fingers squeezing his biceps with care. A simple sign to tell him that she was alright and that he did good. She had found that sometimes he needed encouragement. Sometimes he wasn’t as confident as he pretended to be. But small reassurances were really all he needed to bounce back to normal.

 “Can you stay the night?” She mumbled. Any time she asked, any time she was feeling particularly weak for him, he would turn her down. Saying he had other things to do. Saying it just wouldn’t be proper. Making any excuse he could.

 This time Shouto did not move from on top of her. His mound clouded with the afterglow of such an intense orgasm. He knew then that he’d do anything for her. Anything at all. And because of that realization he hummed back a simple affirmative. He’d stay as long as she would have him.

[princeescaluswords]

All this is just further proof that fandom is DEEP in their own, self indulgent crafted narrative/au that they assert as "canon". They actually HATE the show for subverting common tropes. No, the broody and attractive white man from a distinguished lineage isn't the hero. Nor is the snarky white sidekick. Fanfiction would have you believe Derek was kindly offering lessons to Scott, who rudely snubbed him. Stans whine about the "lost potential" of exploring the Hale Family, but it WAS NEVER ABOUT THEM!!!!

Your question struck me because it's so completely true. They claim to be looking at canon, but they really aren't.

One story I read this morning had Stiles joining the Hale Pack and ending his friendship with Scott because Scott 'neglected' him after Gerard kidnapped him in Master Plan (2x12), because the fact that Scott 'left with Allison and Chris' shows that Scott didn't care about Stiles at all.

Except that we don't see Scott leave with Allison and Chris. The next scene we see is Allison breaking up with Scott and we know it's the same night. But there's no indication that Scott didn't talk to Stiles after Jackson's resurrection. And it certainly seems that Stiles and Scott are in a pretty good situation with each other at the end of the season. Why would their minds go to "Scott didn't care that Stiles was kidnapped and hurt!?!?!"

Especially when their minds don't go there after Raving (2x08). It took you a moment to figure out what I was talking about, didn't you?

When Victoria is using poison gas to kill Scott, Derek, who is standing next to Stiles and his mountain ash line, has to shout at Stiles to break the line because he's sensed Scott is in trouble. And Stiles huffs and breaks the line. But we don't see Stiles ask Scott if he's okay. We don't see Stiles help find Scott. We don't see Stiles at the Animal Clinic while Deaton is taking care of Scott. Derek's there and waiting, but Stiles isn't.

Why don't their minds go to "Stiles is selfishly focused on his own needs and is neglecting Scott!?!?" Because it would be a ludicrous conclusion to draw; Stiles has demonstrated his care and feelings for Scott in the past just as Scott has demonstrated his care and feelings for Stiles in the past.

Now, this is a double standard, one of many, many, many double standards in a fandom that seems to relish them. And one could make the argument that it's a deliberate and conscious choice to ignore one scene in order to support their desired conclusions in another, but after reading enough well-meaning author's notes which talk about how they think that "Scott was a better friend than canon portrays," I think it might be something more troubling:

The fandom has been indoctrinated so deeply by the culture to see non-white characters as inherently not as good or as interesting as white characters that they can't really judge fairly.

I know that there are a lot of minority readers out there looking at each other and going 'duh, stupid white man is just figuring this out now!?!?!', so let me elaborate. I've always assigned a certain level of malicious self-interest to this before, that they chose to ignore scenes that run counter to their desired end -- they wanted the show to be about the Hales and Stiles, but, as you put it, it wasn't, so they were going to get back at the production.

But I'm beginning to suspect that white supremacy is so fully ingrained in the culture that it's become like an optical illusion. They literally cannot see the scenes that establish the idea that this is Scott's story and he's the lead protagonist.

As an immediate aside, no one should possibly interpret this as me arguing that white viewers have no obligation to overcome this narrative illusion or that minority viewers must teach them otherwise if they want to be able to participate fully in fandom. Individuals are responsible for their own behavior, regardless of cultural influences!

But it explains how often well-meaning people can come up with interpretations so essentially disproved by the narrative, again and again. People can say that they like Scott but believe that Scott somehow had less virtue, less talent or less claim to the focus within the story.

It's why they can argue that Scott had 'shit control' because he didn't follow Derek, when Scott literally surprised Derek with his control in Heart Monitor (1x06).

It's why they can argue that Scott was a poor student or can't keep a secret or can't bake or can't do any number of things it is assumed that white characters can do without question, how he is a lovable idiot without any positive qualities that weren't given to him by the Hales or Stiles.

It's why they can scold Scott for not being able to tell that Theo was a chimera infiltrator but forget that Derek couldn't tell that Deaton wasn't an alpha and couldn't tell that Jennifer was the Darach.

It's why they hate Deaton for insulting Derek once and not 'helping enough' but think Peter was the Sassiest Happy Fun Uncle who cared for his family so much.

It's why Kira is a placeholder and annoying, but Cora somehow wasn't.

It's why Monroe being slashed up by the Beast, forced to cover herself with her friend's body, and then having to wait there for the sheriff to find her is a 'stupid reason' to start hunting supernaturals, but Scott telling Stiles to go talk to his father about the person he killed and then decided to hide it is grounds for the end of the friendship if not outright revenge murder.

It's why Stiles could never ever trust Morrell because she worked with the Alpha Pack and promised to euthanize him to protect others, but he would love, love, love, love, and have Derek Hale's babies when Derek worked with Peter and spent an entire season trying to murder Lydia.

It's why they so strongly believed that the show should have ended with Alpha Derek and the Hale Family reclaiming their family's legacy, with all the little betas following them around.

It's why the subversive nature of having the hero be the earnest Latino and not the broody white antihero flies over their heads. It's why they conjure up elaborate and self-contradictory fantasies of unreliable narrators.

They just can't believe that this is Scott's story.

I'm finding it harder to believe that every one of these people is a malicious asshole who chooses to ignore canon so they can get their white power fantasy fix. It's exactly how it's been described.

[blacksunscorpio]

Hello! I saw your post about elevated planets, is there also any explanation about the planets opposite/bottom of the Zenith/Mc? Thank you!

Good Question

Nadir In Astrology

The Nadir, or Imum Coeli (IC), Latin for “south/bottom of the sky,” or “lowest point” is one of the four major angles in an astrological birth chart [the other 3 are the [Rising, Descendant, and Midheaven] and definitely the least talked about. The Midheaven and Nadir points lie at opposite ends of your Natal Chart. The Midheaven is at the very top [where your most elevated will be nearest]. It is where the Sun was at its highest peak during midday. Using this, we calculate the Nadir, or where the Sun was at its very lowest point during midnight. Like the Ascendant and Descendent Axis, the Midheaven and Nadir are opposites, with one side exposed and other other deeply hidden. It lies opposite the Midheaven—a point on our chart that represents our public life and persona, which gets a lot of attention.

What it Means

Since the Midheaven is our brightest, most open, well-light part of your personality, adversely the Nadir is the dead of night in your chart [quite literally], the IC is the deepest, darkest, quietest, most personal place in your chart. It  houses the Private Persona. This is how your mind operates in secret, how you feel, and how you act, when you are completely alone, with no one else watching. Our Nadir (IC) signifies our most profound depths and needs, a part of us that we often don’t share with others. While the rising and descendant axis of our charts navigate the relationship between self and others. The Midheaven and Nadir showcase the polarity of our outer and inner worlds. The IC sits on the cusp of the fourth house, ruled by the moon/cancer associated with family lineage, home environment, and family influences. Similarly to the moon, our nadir shows us our needs and emotional tendencies, though it's much more than that. When you looking at your birth chart, the nadir is below the horizon line of the ascendant and is the lowest place in our chart, therefore representing our foundation and roots. In this way, the IC also reveals the type of environment best for our physical well-being. Make sense? Now, I want to mention that many often think of the MC as a fake, constructed persona, and the Nadir is as our real, authentic selves. This couldn't be further from the truth. Fake news. This way of thinking hinges on the idea that we are fundamentally one type of person, forced act unlike ourselves in different situations. But the truth is, all of your choices and actions come together to create a portrait of who you really are, regardless of what made you act that way. The way you act when you are in front of people, trying to make your best impression - that is the real you. And the way you act when you are alone, with nobody to judge you - that is the real you, too ;). Humans are dichotomous and complex and astrology allows for that because it, as a study, is complex as well.

Nadir By Sign

Aries: [Libra MC] Need for independence and freedom. Reputation is built on the finer aspects of your personality. People know you by your good looks, first and foremost. They see you as elegant, yet strong; rational and logical. Inwardly, can be prone to dramatic displays of anger, loud demands, bossy, and sharp, biting humor and immense stores of sexual drive or drive in general. Family was very active or extremely ambitious. Learned early on how to be independent. Growing up, might have witnessed a lot of conflict in your family, some of it serious and some of it not. You saw problems with alcoholism, drug addiction, and anger. Unconsciously aggressive or combative.

Taurus: [Scorpio MC] Need for security or physical pleasures. Come off as intense, passionate, mysterious or dark. Family was stable or materialistic. As a child you were always well fed and secure. Parents/guardians gave you a taste for the finer things in life by caring so much about the look and quality of the things in their home. On a darker note they could also be quite controlling in a lot of ways, both over their house and family. Nothing could be done, or touched, or moved, or planned without them having a hand in what was going on. Native can be unconsciously inflexible or possessive.

Gemini: [Sagittarius MC] Need for understanding themselves and world around them. Outwardly can be very philosophical, blunt, straightforward and/or outspoken. When you find yourself alone with your thoughts, you spend a lot of time enjoying your own inner dialogue. And when you are with those few people you are close to, you enjoy a lot of stimulating conversations.  Family is a literal mosaic. Different colors and personalities. Home life was changing constantly. Family was growing and shrinking, moving around, breaking apart and then putting/fitting new pieces together. Childhood was self-expressive or hyper-intellectually focused. Unconsciously erratic, anxious or cunning that can display itself as duplicitousness.

Cancer: [Capricorn MC] Need to seek and give nurturance. Can come off as  determined, hard working, goal-oriented, and very good at what you do. You have a very professional public image that exudes confidence and experience. Family was co-dependent or critical. Growing up your mother was the central figure of your family home, either because she was a single mother or your father was away from home a lot. As a child, you were given more than enough praise and attention. When alone, you take on an almost maternal role in your house, cooking and cleaning and taking care of chores. Often, you will retreat into your bedroom, den or personal workshop and spend a lot of time working on things by solo.  Unconsciously co-dependent or guarded.

Leo: [Aquarius MC] Need for creative self-expression. intelligent, detached connections with other people. Can come off as detached or have this kind “dry intensity” that radiates off of you – you seem to be quietly aloof, cold. When alone, can be quite friendly or show big displays of love to those close to them. An eternal child that will always love fairly tales no matter how old they are. Family was self-involved or warm-hearted. The kid who was told they were special all the time. Everybody in your family (especially your mother) fawned over all the things you did, praising you for every accomplishment and exaggerating all your best qualities. You got everything you wanted. Unconsciously may have a lot of self-doubt.

Virgo: [Pisces MC] Need for efficiency. Comes off as a creative, kind, spiritual, almost ethereal person. People will notice the far-away look, the quiet contentment that hangs around you like a miasma. Draws in both saints and sinners. Though they may present a misty outward appearance, inwardly they keep detailed inventory of everything. Likes work and routine. Family or parent was hyper-critical. Some kind of negativity surrounding you when you were growing up, like fighting, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or a poor home life. Whether or not you were aware of what your family members were going though, you looked for an escape. May have control freak tendencies.

Libra: [Aries MC] Need for harmony, though possibly difficulty in knowing needs with too much vacillation. Outwardly brave, perhaps a tad bossy, driven, commanding and leader-like with touches of aggression or authoritarianism. inwardly, peace loving, diplomatic, utterly polite, cooperative and friendly to the point of people pleasing. Family could have been quite social or superficial. When you are out interacting with the world you are confrontational and/or competitive. Growing up, you had to share your parent’s attention with other people. You might have had other siblings that got more than you, or they might have had other obligations that took up their time. Unconsciously coy.

Scorpio: [Taurus MC] Need for emotional depth and understanding. Outwardly laid back and grounded. Astonishing work-ethic. Security minded and practical. Inwardly there is a deep well of emotion. Can dwell or obsess. Powerful drive and silently aggressive. Family was secretive or powerful. Unconscious forces outside may have influenced them. Involved in power dynamics. Subconsciously,  memories of the past are littered with alcoholism, abuse, death, trauma, sex, various kinds of manipulation and betrayal.

Sagittarius: [Gemini MC] Need to discover their own truth. Comes off as intelligent, sociable, highly optimistic. Social butterfly. Inwardly may act out personal and grandiose dramas. Family was hyper-ethical or adventurous. Sought to learn and understand other people’s cultures and perspectives. In your childhood, when you were living at home with your family, you were thought of as a very bright child. Energetic, enthusiastic about learning, and always exploring the outside world, you met every new subject with curiosity and an open mind. Teachers and classmates labelled you as the “smart kid”. Unconsciously can seek status, attention or might be prone to judgment.

Capricorn: [Cancer MC] Need for reliability and order. reputation for being determined, hard working, goal-oriented. Family was traditional or repressed emotions. Might feel like you have to “fight for respect.” Family was very restrictive and controlling. Tried to make you into what they wanted you to be rather than accepting you for how you were. When alone in the privacy of your own home, you are emotional, sensitive, and very attached to your belongings and loved ones. Unconsciously self-repressing or pessimistic.

Aquarius: [Leo MC] Need for unconventional and individual stance. Comes off as bubbly, friendly, happy, and attracts attention easily. Inwardly, a loner, detached, intelligent, the furthest thing from a people pleaser. Likes to be left alone to their own devices to study or research. Family was non-traditional or unavailable. Home life might have been chaotic or tumultuous. As a kid you had little control over your life’s direction and had to follow your parents wherever they went. This could mean you were uprooted a lot, maybe a military kid or simply forced into their religion or belief system. Unconsciously somewhat detached from others. Accept anybody for anything, you support them 100%. Not interested in people or affairs/things that do not concern you. Father might have been absent. Unconsciously weird/ unusual.

Pisces: [Virgo MC] Need for wandering or mysticism. Comes off as organized, dissecting, routine-loving and very well-put together. Inwardly, can be emotional, messy, lazy, gullible, but also sensitive, compassionate, empathetic, and completely selfless. Family roots of unclear boundaries. Growing up there was a lot going on between your parents that you didn’t understand. Perhaps born on the verge of some kind of upheaval. Something happened that caused the family break apart before you were born and now they were dealing with the aftermath. Unconsciously over-sensitive or non-committal.

Bruja note:

The key to understanding the patterns and energy of the IC brings balance and equilibrium to our lives as it teaches us how to embrace our past and move forward into our future. How to really grasp and harness the midheaven gifts and promises. There is an inevitable sense of karma and destiny associated with the angles of our charts, and the IC is no exception. Knowing the patterns of the nadir brings consciousness to our underworld. More understanding. It is considered by many astrologers one of, if not THE most important part of our entire chart—because of the depth of understanding it gives us when we really commit to comprehending it. By utilizing the skills and difficulties of our family/ancestors/origins, we are thrusted into our personal journey’s and ultimately our north node or most elevated destinies.  

What sign is your Nadir in? Dissecting and understanding it can bring healing and growth to you and those you’re closely connected with.

[snarky-art]

Musa and Aisha in their enchantix! I still haven’t figured out how I want the wings to look but that’s ok I think.

Info on their relationship in my version of Winx Club below!

So when Aisha arrives at Alfea in season 2, it’s pretty much the same as in the original show. She doesn’t really know what to do. Anne was the only person her age she had ever really interacted with. The rest of the time she was pretty isolated and surrounded by adults. She has trouble figuring out exactly how to act around the winx and is really scared of messing things up.

Musa is also used to feeling like that. She has a lot of separation anxiety and fear of abandonment which she had manifest in the defense mechanism of not letting people get close so she couldn’t get hurt. She’s gotten better at handling it though ever since joining Alfea and getting a super close knit group of friends. As a result though, she can understand best how Aisha is feeling and is able to help in little ways the others can’t.

Musa does the most to make her feel more comfortable and at ease (the others do too but it just hits a little different coming from someone who really gets it, ya know?) and as a result they become much closer much faster. They find themselves talking more openly about their fears and insecurities and experiences when they’re alone and a they just end up having a really strong bond.
In my version of this, Musa and Riven did get together at the end of season 1, but they breakup around ¾ths of the way through season 2. They realize it just isn’t really healthy for either of them and they both bring out the worst in each other. They both have some insecurities from previous relationships and just their family life in general (Riven’s mom abandoned him, Musa’s mom is dead and her relationship with her father is pretty strained although it does start to get better after the concert episode in season 2), so Musa is the one who ultimately takes the initiative to break it off. They both aren’t happy and Riven takes it especially hard, but Timmy talks some sense into him and he starts working to get better around the end of season 2/beginning of season 3.

Another reason Musa breaks it off is along with realizing how much worse she feels with Riven and along with how much worse she is as a person with him, she has a moment of realization where she just goes “oh, but with Aisha, I DO want to be better, and I trust her so much more completley,, oh no.” and she’s basically like “now we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that right now” but along with ending her relationship being better for both Riven and her, she needs to think some stuff about that over.

Musa is in denial about liking Aisha for a while and tries to stifle it and convince herself it’s nothing or that it’ll go away. This isn’t because she’s having a Gay Panic or something though (in my thing she’s bi and has had partners of other genders before). The panic comes from at this point, Aisha is one of the closest people in her life despite them only knowing each other for about a year and she doesn’t want to ruin something good (cue abandonment issues). Musa handles this physically by being more shy and easily flustered and also by eventually talking to the winx about it. Tecna ties but in my thing, Tecna is borderline Aromantic (demi is what I’m thinking of for her, still haven’t figured it all out though) so she’s not very good at giving advice for it, but she’s happy to listen. Flora gives soft advice and a listening ear, ever the romantic, and Stella is too but she’s much more loud (she also feels bad about trying to hook Musa up with so many dates and her and Riven broke up now that she knows Musa was having a crisis the whole time, granted the date with Jared was a good thing since Jared and Musa became good friends so Stella won’t apologize for that one and Musa decides that’s fair), and Bloom is pretty awkward with relationship stuff so she does the “are ya winning, son?” approach to all of this. Musa appreciates that they’re all trying though, despite the various degrees of success.

Aisha doesn’t really talk to anyone about her feelings for Musa, which she realizes she has shortly after gaining her enchantix. During the first attack on Alfea in the their third year of school, when she sees her enchantix for the first time, and how sure of herself she was about doing what she could to save Galatea’s life and save all the ancient texts and tomes, she’s like “yup that pretty much confirms everything for me.”

In my version Aisha is a lesbian and she’s known for a WHILE. Anne was her first crush and she also liked some of the princesses and nobles that she would meet or see at the many fancy diplomatic meetings she would be dragged to. She’s very secure in her sexuality and romantic attraction (homophobia isn’t really a Thing in my version per se, but there are some concerns about lineage in upper circles for royalty and leaders, since not all queer couples can have children biologically and sometimes adoption is hard depending on the circumstances, ESPECIALLY if there is a form of magic that is needed to be transferred from one member of a family to the next member and it isn’t a guarantee or even possible for some magic to latch onto someone and become apart of their core if they aren’t biologically related). Aisha hadn’t mentioned it to her parents though. Her parents and her don’t have the most open relationship due to the very controlling and stifling nature of both the court her parents rule over and just their general demeanor which leads to the next issue: arranged marriage on Andros, which is something her parents still partake in, and that really makes both Musa and Aisha feel like their hearts are being grabbed and twisted. Once they tell her, she’s about to tell them but they leave soon after telling her because they have stuff to do and also they would rather speak to Aisha once she’s “calmed down some.” The next time she has time to tell them, shit with Valtor starts to hit the fan and it gets put on the backburner.

By the time Nabu shows up, it’s pretty rough. Once Aisha realizes who he is she’s mad because of course she is, this is the person she’s expecting to be with. Nabu is understanding of this, and gets it completely, especially since he originally lied about his identity. Aisha does take a breather though and they talk it out some. He wanted to see who he was arranged to marry like in the show, and Aisha says she honestly never wanted to see him, and he laughs and says that’s fair. They do end up having a “best bros” dynamic though eventually. AIsha tells him about Musa, and he says he’s so sorry about this whole thing and eventually they do meet up with their parents like in the show and they talk to them about everything finally and their parents tell them that the arranged marriage isn’t necessary in the end. It works out and Aisha and Nabu do a sickass secret handshake they made and all is well. The relationship between their kingdoms is also really strong regardless of marriage too due to their eventual life long friendship.

Aisha also eventually talks to Flora some about how she should go about asking Musa out and about whether or not she thinks it would be a good idea and Flora and Chatta (ESPECIALLY CHATTA) are doing EVERYTHING they can to not blurt out that Musa hasn’t been able to shut up about liking Aisha for over a year and a half at this point. 

Over the season their relationship continues to get stronger. 

TW: talk of e*ting disorder. Please skip this paragraph if that is triggering to you. I will have the next paragraph start with -paragraph over- so skip to that if you would like

I also have a thing in my version where Musa struggles with an e*ting disorder some just do to anxiety and insecurities and that was one of the ways those things ended up manifesting (that’s how it was for me and I’ve put a little bit of myself into each of these gals and pal (Tecna is nonbinary in my version and although they’re fine with being perceived as a woman and is cool with she/her pronouns and general slang terms like “gal,” “dude,” “bro,” etc., they still prefer overall being acknowledged as a nonbinary person by people who don’t know them very well (all pronouns are cool with them also. This stuff I just mentioned is how I am as a nonbinary person and I thought it fit Tecna too). This is why I have her looking a little thinner in my earlier sketches, since those take place in season 1 and 2. Aisha goes out of her way to help her however she can and Musa feels guilty but eventually Aisha just tells her to accept the help because she cares about her, she knows that Musa wants to get better (she started wanting to really work to stop skipping meals in the middle of season 2 and being less afraid of putting on weight. Her relationship with Riven wasn’t helping her mental state and this was around the point where she realized things probably weren’t going to get better unless she worked really hard on both herself and with setting better boundaries. Aisha was the only one to know about her skipping meals more than was healthy as it ended up coming out on one of their many late night heart to heart convos they like to have) and because it isn’t taking a toll on her mental health, and she promises to let her know if it does (Aisha also learned more about healthy boundaries during her time with the winx way to go, queen). They do meal preps together, get a healthy workout routine that doesn’t involve Musa dropping dead from exhaustion every time, and they get help pamphlets and Musa ends up seeing a counselor on campus to get some help and by the middle of season 3, things are a lot better, and while it’s still something that Musa is going to struggle with off and on during her life because that’s how this stuff tends to work, she has the tools to help herself better and she also has a really good support system and knows therapy is still an option if she needs it after her time at Alfea. The rest of the winx find out eventually too and are, of course, super supportive and proud of her.

-end paragraph-

The main takeaway from that paragraph is that Aisha and Musa are very close and supportive of each other and that I mention Tecna is nonbinary (all pronouns acceptable, although tends to prefer they/them)

Along with that being yet another huge thing that relates to them wanting to help each other grow and become better people, they just end up realizing that if they could choose a day where they could choose anyone to spend time with for the whole time, it would be each other.

By the end of their third year at alfea/the movie (unsure which yet exactly, but it’s in that time frame) they get together and they stay together for the rest of everything:)

[lowkeyorloki]

You're generally thought of to have really good characterization of Loki in this fandom (I'd say that's what you're known for???), so I was wondering if you could give some tips on how to write Loki? And maybe some general tips on writing imagines/x readers?

Hi there anon! First, thank you very much for such a high compliment. I think any fanfiction author would agree when I say being told we get our muse’s characterization correct is one of the highest compliments we can be given, so THANK YOU! 

I would be happy to give you some advice, but keep in mind, this is just my interpretation of Loki. You, and any other author, are allowed to take creative control and do with his character what you will. This is just what works for me!

For Imagines/X Reader Fics

This is my third imagines blog, so I have been doing x readers for a long time. If you’re looking to expand your following, I would start out doing preferences. This is when you take a group of people from the same piece of media (in Marvel, a good example would be the whole team of The Avengers) and basically write a little drabble for each of them in one post. This will allow you to use multiple character tags, which means your posts are more likely to circulate. From there, you can totally branch off and have an emphasis on one character, or create a whole new sideblog for one character that people from your already-established following can find. I used this method twice and it worked really well- it also lets people see you can write for different types of characters, which is always a plus.

Tags! Use as many tags as you can, because that’s how people find your work. Make sure to use some with your muse’s first name, and some with their first and last. For imagines specifically, I would always make sure you have “(name) x reader”, “(name) x you”, and “(name) imagine”, because those are what people usually search for.

Avoid physical descriptions. “Reader” is just that: the reader. Not everyone has blue eyes, not everyone has long hair, not everyone is white, etc. etc. If you really want to write a character with specific physical traits, then you should develop an OC. It rips your readers out of your fics when they’re described in a way that doesn’t fit them, and can also really harm their confidence- the only descriptions of someone’s appearance I’ve ever seen in x readers are features that are considered conventionally attractive, so it’s important to be mindful of any implicit biases you may have.

...You also have to keep the reader as a character somewhat neutral, because they are supposed to be whoever is consuming your fic. If you’re going to give them character traits, justify them with your story. You want your reader to be trained in hand-to-hand combat? They took martial arts as a kid. You want your reader to be the smartest in their field? Give them a backstory that made them that way. It’s personality traits you have to look out for, because if someone’s personality doesn’t match with “y/n’s”, that person isn’t going to be able to read your works. 

Speaking of y/n, I would suggest not using it at all. I’ve recently stopped using it due to my own experience and feedback from my followers. Most people don’t see y/n and replace it with their name, it just becomes a reminder they’re reading something. Your goal is to immerse your readers in your fics, and I’ve found this often has the opposite effect. There are a lot of ways to avoid y/n, such as pet names (darling, baby, love) or creative phrasing (”your name passed over his lips, whispered softly like he had never heard it before”). It can be a challenge, but writing always is!

If possible, keep your reader gender neutral. This sounds a lot harder than it is. Especially in the Loki fandom, there are a lot more male readers than you think, and there are people who don’t conform to either gender. Not assigning pronouns makes your reading more accessible (which also means more exposure!!!) and also allows everyone to find a place in fandom. The only times it becomes a problem is when other characters are talking about the reader behind their back, or when writing smut. In my case, I do my best avoid the first option and, until I find a solution, I do use gender and everything associated with it in smut. However, if none of these appeal to you, you can also copy and paste your fics to have different pronouns. 

Strategically place that “keep reading”, it’s a good way to get readers hooked!

For Loki’s Character

In my opinion, Loki is all about a balance of vulnerability. We all love to see him be loving and open and intimately intwined with someone, but it would take a lot of time to get there with him. For that reason, if you’re wanting to write that side of the Trickster, I would make your fic an established relationship or slow burn. If that doesn’t sound like something you want to do, a lot of faults in writing can be forgiven if you call them out yourself. Does something feel too random? Say it was sudden or unexpected. This shifts blame from you and actually becomes a characterization choice: now, instead of you possibly misinterpreting Loki’s character, he and the reader have so much chemistry with each other they’re acting differently than they normally would. 

Loki (and Thor’s) way of speaking is a HUGE factor of any fics with him. Loki has a different colloquial than we do, and thanks to Tom Hiddleston’s really sexy voice, it’s something closely associated with the character. So, we have to walk a line of Loki’s words being formal, but not being out of touch. He was able to assimilate easily (that’s part of the reason he was such a threat in Avengers), and is super clever and picks up on a lot of things. Therefore, Loki is more likely to address Tony as “Stark” rather than “Man of Iron”, and I think it’s fair to say he knows the name “Coulson” doesn’t refer to the SHIELD agent’s lineage (he’s probably not going to call him “Son of Coul”). But phrasing is also a part of this. I try to avoid contractions coming out of his mouth, so “you are” instead of “you’re”, “he is” instead of “he’s”, etc. etc. 

Loki also isn’t going to say things we normally would: As humans, we tend to exclaim “Oh my god!” or something along those lines. But Loki was brought being told he was a god, so that isn’t going to be in his vocabulary. It’s little things like this I keep an eye on when I’m writing for him.

A good way to accomplish Loki’s speech is just... adding words the modern world has deemed unnecessary. A recent example of mine is in one of my fics, Loki is asking the reader what a group of characters want from her. Originally, I had him saying “What do they want?”, and while editing, I changed it to “What is it that they want?.” It’s subtle, but when this is how most of the Loki’s sentences are structured, it calls back to the Loki we saw in earlier Thor films (regardless of your opinion on Ragnarak, the Shakespearean-esque language is gone by the film) and creates a simulation of sorts that makes your reader feel more in tune with your story. Not to keep using this word, but it’s a technique that immerses your reader.

Make sure your style matches Loki! I have a very dramatic and articulate style, lots commas, lots of (carefully placed) repetition, and paragraph breaks. This works for Loki because he’s such an emotional and complex character, and my style compliments and emphasizes that. 

Readers respond well to your style correlating with your character: Compare my fics Aftermath or Wounds to A Mortal Occurance. Aftermath and Wounds are written in the style I described above, and are approaching 500 and 400 notes respectively; whereas I tried a more domestic and conversational style in A Mortal Occurance, which has yet to reach even 150 notes. While there’s definitely something to be said about people subscribing to you for one specific form of writing, it would be impossible for me to deny one style is not only more true to me, but more true and realistic to Loki. Think of if I wrote in my style for Ant-Man or Sam Wilson. It wouldn’t really work because their characters aren’t as high-stakes as Loki.

I hope this all helps! Remember this is just my opinion and is what has worked for me. You’re free to take all this to heart or completely reject it. I’m honored you came to me in the first place <3

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 4 (6 of 6)

To round of my look into season 4 of Star Trek: The Next Generation, here are my reviews of that season’s last two episodes.

Episode 25: In Theory

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Lt. Commander Data and Lt. Jenna D'Sora are in the torpedo room configuring several probes with which the Enterprise will explore a nearby nebula. D'Sora explains that her ex who she just split up with has asked her to dinner, prompting Data to remind her why they broke up as part of a standing agreement between the pair of them. Later they play together in a chamber concert along with Keiko O'Brien. D'Sora complains of her abilities as a musician, but Data insists that he could not hear anything wrong.

 Later, on the bridge, Data is reviewing the information from the probes sent into the nebula. He theorises that life might have evolved differently in the nebula because of the volume of dark matter detected. Captain Picard orders the ship to the nearest planet within the nebula. Data and Jenna configure further probes, when she kisses him on the cheek and then on the lips, before leaving the room. Data seeks the opinion of his friends, specifically Picard, Guinan, Geordi La Forge, Commander Riker, Counsellor Troi and Lt. Worf. Data decides to pursue the relationship and goes to Jenna's cabin with a bunch of flowers, where he informs her that he created a romantic subroutine for the relationship.

 Meanwhile, the Enterprise is approaching an M-class planet within the nebula. Picard enters his ready room and finds his belongings scattered on the floor. He calls in Worf, who cannot explain their displacement. Jenna arrives at Data's cabin where he is painting. She tells him to continue, but is then annoyed when he does so, causing him some confusion. The ship arrives at the coordinates for the planet but finds nothing there. Then it suddenly appears as the ship's computer warns of a depressurization in the observation lounge. The crew investigate and find all the furniture piled in one corner of the room.

 Data visits Jenna, but she seems unhappy and he is acting erratically in order to find an appropriate response to make her happy. It becomes evident to the crew that the nebula is causing distortions in space; Picard orders the ship into warp to leave the nebula as quickly as possible but this speeds up the distortions. Whilst investigating them, Lieutenant Van Mayter is killed when a distortion embeds her into the deck. Data discovers that dark matter is causing the distortions. The ship can detect the pockets at short range, but not in enough time to move out of the way. Worf proposes using a shuttle to lead the Enterprise out, and Picard insists on piloting it alone.

 Picard pilots the shuttle through the field of distortion pockets; he is initially successful, but the shuttle is damaged near the perimeter of the nebula. Chief Miles O'Brien transports the Captain back to the ship before the shuttle is destroyed. However, the Enterprise is now near enough to the edge of the nebula to no longer need the shuttle to scout ahead, and they quickly depart. Afterwards, Jenna reveals to Data in his quarters that she broke up with her boyfriend because he was emotionally unavailable and then pursued Date because he was the same. Data realises that she is breaking up with him and explains that he will delete the subroutine. Jenna departs and Data is seemingly unperturbed, although his cat, Spot, jumps into his lap as if to comfort him.

Review:

This episode was Patrick Stewart’s directorial debut on the show, following on the heels of fellow cast member Jonathan Frakes taking a shot at directing during the previous season.  Like Frakes, Stewart was handed a Data episode to do, and in some respects it’s a good episode.  In others, it’s less brilliant, specifically having a techno-babble B-plot thrown in because TNG was very much enslaved to the idea that the character always had to have an enemy or an anomaly putting them at risk, regardless of whatever else might be going on.  This plot doesn’t inter-connect with the A-plot except for both things happening in the same episode, and it includes Picard playing shuttle pilot when he’s not really the TNG character of note by way of piloting skills.  In fact, TNG and DS9 never really had a definitive helm officer in the way that the original series had Sulu and Voyager had Tom Paris, which when you have to do an episode with this kind of B-plot is a bit of a must.

 However, the meat of the episode is Data making forays into the world of romantic relationships, and to some degree I appreciate how some of his behaviours in this area are quite autistic.  His asking around the majority of the main cast and Guinan for advice, his inability to pick up relationship skills ‘on the fly’, and his emulation of stereotypical romantic interactions rather than just being himself are all things I can see someone on the spectrum doing.  Hell, I’ve done them all in my own unique way, and I can’t help but cringe a little reflecting on that.

 However, Data is only able to go so far both with his relationship and with his representation of the autistic mindset in this scenario because he lacks emotion.  I understand that this was meant to be the point; according to Memory Alpha, a lot of original series fan mail for Spock was from women who felt they could reach the character’s suppressed emotional core.  This episode was born of a fascination with this aspect of fandom, only it was written to see if a romantic relationship could work with a being who was hard-wired not to feel any emotion, to really explore the ‘ghost in the machine’ concept through Data.

 This, for me, is where the episode’s main plot really loses efficacy, because by definition a romantic relationship requires emotion, and as such Data was never going to succeed.  Frankly, I’d rather have seen them hold this plot off until the films when Data is finally given license to have emotions.  It would have been great to see Data have a romantic relationship then, because it would have been a more complete, well-rounded exploration of his status as an autism metaphor within the world of Trek.  As it is, characters like Voyager’s Doctor and Seven of Nine end up serving better in this capacity.

 It’s also disappointing to see that, not unlike some of my own early experiences in romance, Data isn’t being approached out of a genuine romantic interest on the part of Jenna.  To her, he’s basically a re-bound fling; she’s struggling with being single again, keeps having to be reminded why this is so, and tries to make something happen with Data to ‘fill the void’.  It’s not unlike how some girls used to pretend to go out with me to test, and mock, my gullibility, and for me it’s right up there with people who go out with someone just to avoid being single (done that), or to get something else like a roof over their head or cash.  To my mind, no one should ever do anything like this; if you want a romantic relationship with someone, it should be real romance or nothing.

 If you want a fling, a rebound or anything similar, then you seek out something more casual like friends-with-benefits, and you say that’s what you want up-front.  Leading people on is never ok, and it seems to me it only happens because of neurotypical selfishness and unwillingness to talk about you want before anything happens. The model of discussion-first-action-second is something that already exists within certain forms of sex play, and it’s probably going to gain wider and wider use over time for consent in general, and it’s exactly the kind of thing that would not only make all relationships more autism-friendly, but it would also vastly reduce the potential for being misled.

 What would have improved this episode, aside from Data actually having emotions, would have been to see the female guest character seek him out just from general attraction with no recent ex being mentioned, and perhaps having the B-Plot put the A-Plot characters in danger more directly.  That would have helped the B-Plot gain some additional worth and would have created a dramatic scene that would have more conclusively answered the ‘ghost in the machine’ question around Data.  As it is, it’s a middling episode and a poor showing for something Data-centric; I give it 5 out of 10.

Episode 26: Redemption (Part 1)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Captain Picard and the Enterprise are asked to attend the installation of Gowron as the Leader of the Klingon High Council, as it is Picard’s final duty as the Arbiter of Succession. Gowron intercepts the Enterprise en route and informs Picard that the House of Duras will challenge Gowron's position, which may lead to a Klingon civil war. Picard states he cannot intervene beyond his role as arbiter, and asks Worf to escort Gowron to the transporter room. There, Worf informs Gowron of the truth about his discommendation; Gowron thanks Worf for killing Duras, but explains that he cannot clear Worf’s name because he needs the support of the council, many of whom are loyal to Duras. Worf then requests a leave of absence from Picard to visit his brother, Kurn, who controls a small fleet of Birds of Prey, and to urges him to back Gowron. Worf plans to use this support as leverage so that once installed as the Leader, Gowron can reinstate their family name.

 Interrupting the ceremony, the Duras sisters present their deceased brother's illegitimate son, Toral, who has the lineage to challenge Gowron. Picard is called on to determine Toral's candidacy. Relying on Klingon law, Picard comes to the conclusion that Toral is too inexperienced to be Leader, and secures Gowron's candidacy. This, however, prompts a majority of the council members to abandon Gowron. Gowron returns to his ship to meet with Worf, who offers his brother's fleet's support in exchange for the return of his family name to honor. Gowron initially refuses, but they are attacked by two ships loyal to the House of Duras. Worf and the arrival of Kurn's fleet dispatch the attackers. Picard completes the rite and installs Gowron as Leader; Gowron restores Worf's family honor.

Gowron and the Enterprise crew learn that the Duras sisters are assembling a fleet to incite a civil war. As the Federation cannot get involved in internal affairs of the Klingon Empire, Worf resigns his commission from Starfleet to assist Gowron and Kurn. As the Enterprise evacuates the area before fighting begins, Toral and the Duras sisters consider Picard a coward, but their Romulan ally, a woman bearing an uncanny resemblance to the late Tasha Yar, emerges from the shadows and warns them that Picard may return.

Review:

Apparently, this episode was originally planned as the season 3 cliff-hanger finale, but had to be delayed because those working on the show who wanted this episode really had to fight for it.  Apparently, Gene Roddenberry didn’t want to do any kind of war stories, even if that war was internal to the Klingons and not something the Federation got involved in.  Granted, I don’t think this episode could be as good as it is without everything leading up to it, and part of that groundwork lays here in the fourth season as well as the third and second.  Nevertheless, it seems that once again Roddenberry was taking his idealism one step too far, and I’m guessing him having to step back from production of the show due to increasingly ill health around this time was the only reason we got this episode.

 Being only one part of a larger story, of course, the episode loses out a little for not being quite as self-contained as it otherwise would be as a one-part episode.  However, it delivers a lot for part 1 of a two-part narrative; we finally see Worf get his discommendation lifted and Gowron take command of the Klingon Empire, only to then see Worf resign his commission when Picard won’t wade into the civil war, even though we all know by now Picard should realise it’s not even remotely an all-Klingon affair.  Picard and Worf are well aware that the Duras family are thick as thieves with the Romulans, and they’ve had the recent events of ‘The Mind’s Eye’ to illustrate to them that dividing the Federation and Klingon Empire is high on their agenda.  Surely Picard should have been able to put 2 and 2 together in this part and sided with Gowron outright, rather than appearing to cling to the Prime Directive.

 This is where TNG, and Trek as a whole, falls down a little; it can’t seem to come up with a consistent approach to the Prime Directive.  Some episodes it gets broken, others it gets adhered to, and at times you’ll get a non-adherence for a situation that in a later or earlier episode saw the rule being upheld. Back in season 1, Picard was willing to dare the wrath of the Edo’s ‘god’ to save Wesley Crusher from execution, but in this episode, Picard won’t act to save Worf when Gowron’s ship gets fired upon. Both times someone from the Enterprise was in danger, so surely Picard should take the same actions, but he doesn’t. I can’t tell if this meant to be a follow-on from ‘The Drumhead’ and they stupidly cut out some exposition where Picard says ‘we have to be extra careful now to avoid another Satie-style witch-hunt’, or if it’s just a lack of attention to continuity.

 For me, this episode really relies on Worf and Gowron to carry it, as Picard’s so-called ‘tightrope walking’ just makes him look decidedly unheroic and not a little ruthless.  Honestly, this episode would have benefited from a more Kirk-ian/Sisko-esque style of captain.  Overall, I give it 7 out of 10.

[delicioussshame]

Last part of the modern AU. Still crack.

Yuan don’t delete this message is the subject of the very suspicious email Shen Yuan just got from what looks like one of those email addresses that are good for five minutes.

Since he’s pretty sure who that’s from, he clicks on it with trepidation.

Inside it are two tickets to Málaga Airport and the following message: You’re coming to my wedding.

Shen Yuan stares at the message for five minutes.

Of course Shen Jiu eloped. Of fucking course he did. Shen Yuan can see it in his mind. Shen Jiu telling their parents he’s getting married. Their mother eagerly asking which heiress caught his eyes. Shen Jiu picking someone unsuitable. Fake tears from his mother, disapproval barely hidden under a thin cover of concern from his father. Shen Jiu having no patience for their antics.

A wedding without them somewhere in the south of Spain.

…At least he got two tickets. “Binghe, we’re going to a wedding.”

_____________

It’s the closest to a fight they ever had.

Luo Binghe outright refuses to let him go. He says it’s too dangerous.

Shen Yuan reminds him that there would be way simpler ways to kill him than invite not only Shen Yuan himself but also Binghe, by the way, to a wedding. Weddings, Binghe! Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe is the kind of sap that cries at weddings.

Luo Binghe tells him he’ll warn his parents, who, after all, are the ones who hired him.

“If you stop me from going, I won’t forgive you.” There. See if a softie like Luo Binghe can resist that.

To top it all, he fixes his expression into his blandest mask.

Luo Binghe tears up.

Shen Yuan refuses to flinch. He’s going to his brother’s wedding. If anything, he needs to know what kind of pretty lady managed to bind Shen Jiu in matrimony. He never thought his brother would give up the family business for love of all things, which it must be. Shen Yuan cannot think of anything less worth giving up his future.

Luo Binghe wouldn’t fall for that reasoning, so… “Shen Jiu is my only brother. He invited me to his wedding. I cannot not be there. If you don’t want to go, I’ll go by myself. Someone from the family should be there.”

Luo Binghe wipes his teary eyes. “A-Yuan really needs to be there?”

Shen Yuan nods.

“To the point of risking his life for it?”

Inwardly, he sighs. He’s not risking his life!

Outwardly, he nods again.

“…Fine. But A-Yuan must stay by my side at all times.”

“…You can’t bring a gun on the plane.”

“I’ll get one once we’re there. I know someone.”

...Shen Jiu better not try to kill him. Can’t hold a wedding if the husband is dead.  

_____________

Who the fuck are all these people staring at him with disgust? What’s their problem? Are they just jealous their dates aren’t as hot as his?

What? They’re not.

Not that most of these people aren’t ridiculously attractive. Shen Yuan is starting to get self-conscious. Did Shen Jiu pick his bride from a model agency and these are all her friends?

“You’re Shen Jiu’s brother?”

Shen Yuan turns towards the pissed off looking lady. “Yes. You are?”

“Tell me what’s good about him.”

Shen Yuan blinks. “Why should I?” So rude. She didn’t even introduce herself.

She snorts. “Because I asked.”

“Don’t talk to my boyfriend that way.”

Well, that’s that. Luo Binghe now looks as pissed off as she does.

Great.

“This one too? Seriously, there must be something of worth to your lineage. You can’t just be good in bed, which is my only guess. I’m not going to find that out myself.”

Shen Yuan chokes.

Luo Binghe has his hand where his gun rests under his clothes.

“What I don’t understand is why I agreed to let you come to my wedding.”

“Please, I wouldn’t be here if it was just your wedding.”

Shen Yuan hasn’t seen Shen Jiu in months, but he looks well. That’s nice.

He also shouldn’t be at this pre-wedding reception. “What are you doing here!? Shouldn’t you be preparing for the ceremony?”

“Yes, but I need my best man, so shut up and come with me.”

“What, really?” It is possible Shen Yuan is touched. He never thought Shen Jiu would trust him with anything of value, ever.

“Yes. Come.”

“Don’t kill him!” That comment is intended for Luo Binghe, who is just thrilled at the way Shen Jiu is pulling at Shen Yuan, he can tell.

In the background, he can hear the woman mutters. “Oh, don’t stop yourself on my account.”

_____________

“Wait here, I need to talk to my brother. Who is not going to kill me. Tell him you’re not going to kill me.”

“If I wanted Yuan killed, he would be dead and there would be nothing you could do about it.”

“Brother! Binghe, wait here, okay? I’ll be back.”

Luo Binghe glares, knuckles turning white from his too tight hold on his gun. “You’d better, or your brother’s fiancée will never get to become his wife.”

Shen Jiu slams the door close in his face.

Great. Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe have talked to each other for less than a minute total and they already hate each other’s guts.

Not that that’s not a normal reaction around Shen Jiu. “How did you even manage to get someone to marry you if you always act like this? Who is she anyway?”

“Says you. What would our parents say if they knew you were dating your bodyguard?”

For a second, Shen Yuan really wishes he was a good enough liar to fool his brother. “Nothing. We’re not dating.”

“Please. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“It’s true!”

Shen Jiu stares at him. “It’s a cover story?”

“…Something like that.”

He keeps staring. “Something like that.”

Shen Yuan missed Shen Jiu’s unbelieving disapproval not at all. “Yes, something like that.”

“So are you pining by yourself or are you two fucking?”

Shen Yuan chokes.

“So both. Well done.”

Shen Yuan stares at the door longingly. “Don’t you have to put your clothes on, get your hair styled or something, anything? Because I cannot think of a single reason why I fought with Binghe to come here anymore, and I still have no idea how you got someone to stand you long enough to even begin to consider getting married to you.”

“You’re the one that needs help aesthetically. Don’t worry, I got you something decent for you to wear.”

Shen Yuan sighs. What he’s wearing could easily feed a family of four for weeks, but whatever. Shen Jiu’s standards have always been something else.

“Fine. Do your worst.”

He already knows he’s going to regret it.

_____________

Shen Yuan now gets the uncomprehending stares. He’s known Yue Qingyuan for all of a few hours, and he already knows he’s too nice for his brother. What the fuck happened there? Which of them catfished the other? Did Yue Qingyuan pass himself off as a beautiful woman in an attempt at getting the family fortune, and Shen Jiu was so impressed by his daring he fell in love with him?

…He could see that happening.

Not that he’s gonna ask. Shen Jiu wouldn’t tell him anyway.

Oh well, it was a nice wedding, regardless of the identity of the happy couple.

“Your brother and his husband don’t seem well matched.”

“I know, right? I don’t get it, but whatever, if he’s happy, who cares. I sure hope he’ll be, to get disowned for it.”

Luo Binghe freezes in the middle of removing his shirt for bed. “Disowned?”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “It might not last. My parents will probably get over it at some point. It’s not like they ever thought frail Shen Yuan would inherit. They’ve been grooming Shen Jiu for it all his life. Once they get used to the idea, they’ll rethink their current stance.” He hopes. Maybe if Shen Jiu procreates. Shen Yuan is pretty sure grandchildren could overcome his parents’ disappointment.

“…Would you get disowned if you married someone your family didn’t approve of?”                      

“Probably, not that it matters. I’m not getting married anytime soon.”

“…Why not?”

He shrugs. “Who would marry me? The women who come looking only want my family’s status and fortune. Now that Shen Jiu is completely out of the picture, I suppose it’ll get worse. I’m fine with my current situation, thanks.”

“…I would marry you.”

Shen Yuan ignores the way his pulse race. Instead, he pats Luo Binghe’s head. “Thank you, but Luo Binghe should marry someone he really loves, not saddle himself with me. He can do better.”

Luo Binghe, for some reason, looks outraged.

What? Did he say something wrong?

“What’s that nonsense? How could I possibly do better than A-Yuan?”

Shen Yuan blinks at him. “Huh, you could just look around yourself? Everyone that was here tonight is better looking than me? They’re not better looking than you, obviously, but still, they’d be a better fit with you.”

“Is A-Yuan blind? Everyone would agree he was the most beautiful person here.”

Shen Yuan knows for a fact that’s a lie. Like Shen Jiu would have allowed for that. “Did you drink? Did someone drug you? Oh god are you okay, how many fingers?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been careful. Four fingers.”

Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe’s definition of being careful was closer to paranoia than anything else. Still. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor? I’m sure Shen Jiu can find us someone if you need to.”

“The only treatment I need is A-Yuan by my side. Forever would be good.”

Luo Binghe can be so sappy.

Shen Yuan doesn’t need that kind of service. “Seriously, this is nice, don’t get me wrong, but Binghe really does deserve better. He should look for someone to build a family with.”

Maybe Luo Binghe really did ingest something bad. He doesn’t seem well.

“A-Yuan, I don’t understand. I don’t want anyone but you. Why would I? By your side is where I’m happiest.”

Luo Binghe can’t be this foolish? “You know that’s not true. You should pick someone that, I don’t know, I’m not the person for this, all I have as reference are terrible novels, but someone whose smile makes you happy? Someone whose face you’d want to wake up to? Someone you share interests with? Someone you can see yourself grow old with? Not someone who can buy you nice things and that’s it.”

Now he’s really hoping Luo Binghe is drunk out of his ass. That way he won’t remember Shen Yuan lecturing him on what should be obvious.

“…A-Yuan cannot possibly think his only worth is his wealth?”

“Well, no.” Shen Yuan isn’t ugly? He’s just not anywhere near as hot as Luo Binghe. He’s smart? He knows things? He’s available? He’s… other nice things he can’t think of right now. He has qualities!

Just not any he can think of that would make Luo Binghe… love… him. “You could still do better. Binghe has so much going for him! He’s charming, kind, a good cook, intelligent, trained to keep someone safe, outgoing, good in bed, charismatic, fit, patient, I could go on! He should get a nice wife to pamper him.”

Luo Binghe’s smile is stunning. “I have no interest in being pampered by some woman. I’d much prefer to keep pampering A-Yuan, and being pampered by him.”

“That’s just because it’s convenient! We already live together, so maintaining a love life with someone else would be hard for you. Once you’re done with this job, you’ll find me a much less attractive prospect.”

“I don’t want this job to end. No, that’s not it. I don’t mind not being paid to stay with A-Yuan. If I need to, I’ll get a more regular job as a local security consultant or something similar. But I’m not taking another full-time client. I want to stay close to you.”

“But that’s…” Dumb? Ridiculous? A bad life choice? “probably not a good idea. Don’t throw your future away for me.”

“Shen Yuan is my future.”

Well.

That’s… clear.

Huh.

“Wait, when you were saying you loved me, were you being serious?”

“A-Yuan! What else could I have been!”

Shit.

…

…

“Is A-Yuan not just shy? He doesn’t care about me?”

Oh no. Oh no please don’t start crying now when Shen Yuan can barely get two neurons to work together. “No that’s not it, I care, I just didn’t think Binghe did.”

Well that sounds terrible. “Forget that, that’s not it either, I thought Binghe would finish his job and move on to his next client and that would be it. A nice memory, but nothing more.”

Aannd Binghe is crying. Damn fucking it.

Fuck Shen Jiu and his damned wedding. He hopes his wedding night is terrible. “Binghe, don’t cry, I’m right here, aren’t I? Sorry I’m an idiot, I don’t have much romantic experience. See, that’s why I thought you would go looking elsewhere.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Shen Yuan is patting Luo Binghe’s back and wishing he had the capacity to manage this. “Let’s have a honeymoon too.”

Luo Binghe pushes back to look at him. “What?”

“Let’s go on a trip somewhere nice, just the two of us, somewhere where no one cares who we are. We’ll figure it all out after, okay? Where would you like to go? I think Shen Jiu is going to Bora Bora, but then again I wasn’t really listening so maybe it was somewhere else. Is there something you want to visit?”

Luo Binghe wipes his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Take your time. We’ll have lots of it, okay?”

“…Okay.”

Who ever thought Shen Yuan of all people had the ability to soothe distressed people? Dealing with his own issues is more than enough, thanks.

He keeps patting Luo Binghe’s back uselessly, keeping track of his irregular breathing until it’s smooth against. “Better?”

“...Yes.”

“Good.”

“…I didn’t know A-Yuan could be this oblivious.”

“That would make two of us.”

Luo Binghe laughs. Such a nice sound. “See? A-Yuan is funny, kind, mindful. I’m lucky to have him.”

Not anywhere near as much as Shen Yuan is. “See that you remember that tomorrow morning when you feel better and realise the consequences of your choices.”

Luo Binghe snorts. “Shen Yuan is the one that needs to remember what he promised. We’re going on vacation. And we’re going to talk. A lot.”

…Shit.

Well, he signed up for it. “I’ll call my travel agent.”

…He still thinks it’ll be a better trip than Shen Jiu’s.

[hamfistedmorals]

Rise of Skywalker: Initial Thoughts and Feelings

As a movie, it was engaging. As a Star Wars story, it hooked me. But as a conclusion to this particular trilogy? As a final chapter to the entire saga? Oh boy, was it a hot mess.

BEWARE OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

(Disclaimer - I’m one of the 5% of Star Wars fans that loved The Last Jedi, so that might influence my opinion, but I’ll try to keep things unbiased.) 

It was all over the place, and I mean that quite literally. 

We got to see so many new locations, and most of them seemed interesting. Unfortunately, because of the breakneck pace and the ticking clock, the film doesn’t spend any time developing these places apart from Exegol - and that’s only planet who’s name I can remember. Adding on to the map of a Galaxy Far, Far Away is always a good thing. But so many new locations in one movie, with our heroes jumping back and forth every ten minutes...doesn’t make this universe feel larger. Actually, it makes it feel smaller. In past Star Wars movies, it would take time to go from one planet or star system to another. But that really doesn’t seem to be the case here. If there’s one problem that’s been semi-consistent throughout this trilogy, it’s the confusion of timing. (What’s the point of the title crawl if Episode 8 is going to pick up immediately after Episode 7? But I digress.)

The Dyad in the Force is easily the most fascinating concept of the entire trilogy.

I braced myself for the movie to ignore the connection previously established between Rey and Kylo Ren, as it ignores so much of Episode 8. But no, Rise of Skywalker actually build on the bond between these two characters and gives us more amazing scenes of them interacting entirely through their connection in the Force. We learn that they are essentially a one-of-a-kind anomaly, that Palpatine can use to restore his life energy. Rey and Ben even learn how to use their bond by the end of the film. It’s a new idea that Star Wars hasn’t done before and I kinda love it - I just really wish they had explored it more, and better outlined what it is, where it came from, and how it works. Then again, after how much people hated the Midichlorians, I expect the writers are hesitant to give any answers about how The Force works. 

I also appreciated the official introduction of Healing, as a Force Power. 

Say what you will about some of the Force-Abilities introduced in TLJ, but this one makes perfect sense. So much so that I’m pretty sure it’s already a thing in Star Wars video games? It was well foreshadowed and it played a role in Rey and Ben’s final fight, as well as that heartbreaking climax. Honestly, I truly thought Rey was dead in that moment. I teared up, thinking that her parents’ sacrifice was for nothing. Wondering if Finn could sense that she was gone. Wondering what Ben would do without her, since he had no one else. To be honest, I almost wish Rey had stayed dead, since as it stands...we have a redeemed villain sacrificing himself to save the hero that redeemed him...sound familiar? If Ben had lived, and Rey had died, it could have been a tragic inversion of Return of the Jedi, instead of just a retread. But oh well. I had a feeling they were going to kill off Kylo Ren anyway. 

It feels like they did have plans for Finn, but never properly carried them out. 

Rise of Skywalker very clearly implies that Finn has discovered that he’s Force-Sensitive. Which is a good idea, it just comes out of nowhere. Apparently, that’s what he was going to tell Rey - JJ has clarified it. One problem...that’s not a detail that should be confirmed in an interview. It should be answered within the movie. There were two separate conversations about Finn wanting to tell Rey...something, but the film never comes back to that or gives it any conclusion. Likewise, the idea of Finn being force-sensitive is only ever foreshadowed, never brought to light. Overall, Finn got some great moments, like when he met Jannah and got to connect with another former Storm-trooper...but his overall character arc in this film never got off the ground. 

Was it just me...or was Poe constantly angry throughout the movie? 

I don’t know if this was just Oscar Isaac’s frustration slipping through, or if it was meant to be the stress of the war, or something...but Poe was in a bad mood in just about every scene. But just like with Finn, this never gets resolved or even really acknowledged. Didn’t Poe go through an entire arc in the last film about learning to be less of a hot-head? For some reason, he and Rey are at each other’s throats...even though the end of the last film hinted that they found each other attractive? He does get some backstory as a Spice Runner (though they don’t explain what that is. Maybe it’s answered in one of the books, I dunno.) and we get to meet Zori, who is truly a charming and compelling character. Even if she was only written in as a final “no-homo” to Finn and Poe, I wanted to learn more about her. 

They did Rose dirty. They did her so dirty.

She should have been an official member of the squad in this film, not relegated to cameos. There was no reason she couldn't have been more involved. Her romance with Finn should have been addressed. Even if it was just him gently letting her down, they ought to have mentioned it. Regardless of how you feel about Rose and that particular pairing (Personally, I adored her) it's downright strange that she's so absent from the story when she was a main character last time. Gee, I wonder why this was done? Could it be because the character was eviscerated online by a group of hardcore “fans” who compared her to Jar Jar Binks? Who not only made racist, sexist, and body-shaming comments about the character - they drove Kelly Marie Tran off social media? It really seems like downplaying Rose in this film was a direct response to how unpopular she was, and that isn’t fair to the character or the actress. It just seems...cowardly.

The CGI on Leia...could have been better. 

Not gonna lie, it might have been safer to simply reveal Leia’s death in the title crawl and open the movie with her funeral. Don’t get me wrong, I was initially quite impressed with how they managed to re-create Carrie Fisher. It was nice to see her training Rey, and we even get an answer to the age-old mystery of why she never became a Jedi. But as Leia’s scenes went on, the cracks started to show. It became very noticeable after a while that she would never adjust her standing position or really move at all. So many of her lines were shot to avoid showing her face while she spoke. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why it looked this way. I’m just saying that as a viewer, I noticed. Leia’s death scene was the worst offender of this. By the way...what exactly killed her? She apparently gave the “last of her energy” to call out to Ben, but...nothing beforehand indicated that her health was failing, so why would a simple telepathic message consume all her life energy? She’s done it before. Either way, the death scene was kinda lame...but other characters reactions to it? Hit me right in the feels. Chewie’s breakdown tore me to pieces. I wanted to hug him. And as for Ben...

 That Han Solo Cameo

I’m impressed, first of all. We all though Han could never come back since he wasn’t force-sensitive, so he wouldn’t get a spirit form. But the great thing is, Han didn’t come back - not really. It was all in Ben’s head, hence the lines echoing his father’s death. I love how Leia’s death, compounded with Rey healing Ben and all but telling him that she would be with him if he wasn’t on the dark side, is what ultimately swayed him to turn back. When he called Han “Dad...” In that broken voice, and Han just said “I know...” Honestly, that was the best scene in the movie. Ben previously said to Rey that the Dark Side was in her blood, so she couldn’t escape it. It was so clear that he felt that way about himself too, which may have been part of why he turned. Seeing Han was a perfect reminder that he had more than just Vader in his ancestry. 

Chewie’s “death” was the other scene in the movie that took my breath away. 

Echoing the Force-Battle over Anakin’s lightsaber, Rey and Kylo Ren have a tug-of-war for the ship Chewie is on, and in her rage, Rey accidentally conjures Force-Lightning and blows up the ship, shocking everyone. It demonstrates Rey’s power, as well as her natural leaning toward the Dark Side (through anger.) It also foreshadows her lineage. Plus, the whole concept of accidentally killing your beloved friend..It’s got so much tension, so much emotion - it’s fantastic. Only one problem...Chewie survived, and we find that out not even five minutes later. Honestly, it’s the last movie. Anything goes, you can kill off main characters, even beloved main characters. All of the emotional drama that this scene brings to the table stops mattering once you find out Chewie’s alive. I would love to see Rey actually have to deal with the consequences of what happened, for the movie to explore how it makes the other characters feel about her. On the other hand, one of my first thoughts after it happened was “Geez, if the fandom hated her before...” All the fans who complain Rey is a Mary Sue (She’s not) Yeah, they’d never, ever forgive her if she was responsible for Chewie’’s death.

I can’t decide how I feel about Kylo Ren repairing his mask. 

When I first realized it was happening, I was disappointed. In a way, it undoes his character growth in Last Jedi when he rejected his hero worship of Darth Vader - and even did what Vader could not, slaying his master and living to succeed him. Kylo Ren surpassed Vader once he stopped trying to be him, and that was awesome. But between bringing back the mask (with the painfully on-the-nose line about the “cracks in your mask”) and the reveal that “Snoke” is still alive, all of Ben Solo’s coolest moments from TLJ have been reversed. On the other hand... the Kylo Ren mask is, and always was, a symbol. In TFA, it reflected a pretentious attempt to be more like Darth Vader. But in this movie, it seemed to reflect Kylo Ren embracing the image of being the “Big Bad.” much like how Luke embraced his status as a legend, just before he died. And I’m not gonna lie, seeing the words “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren” in the title crawl was quite satisfying. Not to mention, at the end of the day...it’s all an act. Kylo Ren has always tried very hard to be “evil” but his heart just isn’t in it. He’s trying to be something he’s not - so maybe it’s okay if the mask comes back. 

Let’s rip this band-aid off: Bringing Palpatine back was a mistake.

If they needed a greater-scope villain for the climax after Ben was redeemed...why not use Snoke? Apparently, they’re the same person anyway, and people were mad that Snoke died without having a greater story to tell. Palpatine’s return goes entirely unexplained. He just hand-waves the issue by quoting Episode 3. As a viewer, why should I feel triumphant when Rey kills him at the end, when as far as I know, nothing is stopping him from returning again? After all, he survived certain death before, and we don’t know how he did it. (This is what I mean when I say the film is good by itself, but highly flawed as a continuation of existing Star Wars.) Palpatine’s return devalues Anakin’s sacrifice. It weakens both Vader and Kylo as villains because it removes their agency - we now know they only turned because Palpatine manipulated and groomed them. They’ve made him the greater-scope villain of every single trilogy, which just feels weird. I always thought the overarching villainous force of Star Wars was supposed to be, y’know, the Dark Side and it’s tempting call. That anyone could potentially succumb. But speaking of this film rejecting the idea of “anyone” being special...

Rey...did not need to have a bloodline. 

You need Palpatine to have a reason that he’s so intrigued by her? You’ve already got that - she’s part of an anomaly in The Force that no one’s ever seen before. Need a life-changing shock that pushes her closer to the Dark Side? All you have to do is let Chewie stay dead, and have it be her fault. As much as I have genuinely loved Rey’s character growth and I always enjoy watching her, I can’t help but feel like giving her a bloodline at this point was at least partially done to mitigate the claims that she’s “too powerful.” Not to mention, it ruins the reveal at the end of The Last Jedi, and it’s one more thing that makes the Star Wars universe feel smaller. Coming from a powerful bloodline shouldn’t be a requirement for changing the fate of the Galaxy. Sure, Force-Sensitivity is often hereditary, but not exclusively. Besides, there are more people out there attuned to the Force that just the Skywalkers, Palpatines, and Kenobis. Why couldn’t Rey just be one of them? If Star Wars really is going to go on forever, it can’t simply be the continuing sage of two or three families screwing up the Galaxy. 

What’s up with the super-rushed tone of the ending? 

So, Rey and Ben share a kiss - whether or not you ship them, this moment is wholesome, heartwarming, and so earned -  But then Ben immediately, and I mean immediately falls down dead. He doesn’t get any last words or even a last moment. (Come to think of it...does Ben have any lines at all after his scene with Han? I...don’t think he does. That’s just weird.) Nope, he just fades into the Force so quickly that I didn’t even realize what happened at first. Rey makes it back to the Resistance base and reunites with her friends, but they don’t share any dialogue either. No final moments, not even Finn telling Rey that he’s Force-Sensitive. Disney gets to check off their diversity clipboard by having two nameless women kiss in the background, and Rey then visits...Tatooine, of all places, to bury The Skywalker twins lightsabers. Because you see, a Jedi’s Weapon deserves respect. Burning them? Shameful. But burying them, A-Okay.

Rey is never shown mourning Ben Solo.

Whether or not you think he “deserved” redemption, the film clearly sided with the idea that he did. It based a lot of it’s conflict on Rey and Ben being a hero and a villain who also cared about each other. Going so far as to include the Dyad, and give them a kiss scene. So it’s bizarre that Ben’s death doesn’t seem to affect Rey. She doesn’t even have any sort of reaction to it, but she does have a gold lightsaber now. Which is so incredibly cool that it baffles me that they didn’t let her have it sooner. She never gets to really use it. A random local shows up, for no other purpose than to ask Rey who she is. Rey looks on to see Luke and Leia’s Force-Spirits give their blessing (No Ben, for some reason.) And she then introduces herself as Rey Skywalker. Because they had to justify that title somehow, right? Then the scavenger-turned-jedi, who started out all alone on a desert planet but found a family through her travels...ends her story all alone on desert planet. Hey, wait a minute-

The problems of this trilogy boil down to the fact that it had two writers, with two different visions for the characters.

Perhaps the death of Snoke, the introduction of Rose, and Rey’s lack of lineage directly conflicted with J.J.'s plans for the new trilogy...but The Last Jedi happened. It's canon now. Trying to pretend otherwise doesn't "fix" that. Having moments that directly contradict the previous film, even taking intentional jabs at it (looking at you, Force-Spirit Luke) is a waste of time and honestly feels...kind of immature? As a writer, I’m sure it isn’t easy, but you've got to work with what you have, follow the ideas and plot threads introduced, or else none of it will feel organic. So many moments like repairing Kylo Ren's mask, bringing back Anakin's destroyed saber, giving Rey a bloodline...they just cause whiplash.The only arcs that really continue through each movie are Kylo Ren's redemption, and Rey's identity issues. The writing of Episode 9 does everything it can to erase the ideas of Episode 8, and as a result, the entire trilogy feels directionless. The story feels like its at war with itself. I understand if Rian left J.J. in a compromising position, but sometimes you have to let go of ideas if they can no longer work in your story, however much you want them to. And, not to pick on J.J. too much, but...if he really had a major plan for the trilogy, then why didn't he stay to write Episode Eight? He left the second chapter of the trilogy to an entirely different writer, so...what did he think was going to happen? 

It’s a good movie. It really is. I was on the edge of my seat. If you’ve never seen the first two films, you’ll likely enjoy the hell out of it. But if you’re hoping to get a satisfying conclusion for the characters you’ve grown to care about...well, I’ll just say that I didn’t find that here. 

[dualdreamt]

TOPIC // SEXUALITY & GENDER IDENTITY

Shoto is asexual panromantic. This means he has no interest in sexual stuff in general and has attraction to all genders, although he typically seeks out friendship rather than romantic encounters, preferring a longtime companionship to a short-term relationship.

Shoto is a sex-repulsed ace. Even the idea of it is something he dislikes so if he ever hears anyone - his own age or not - talking about it, he’s sure to walk away as soon as the conversation starts. Sometimes, this may stop him getting into a relationship with someone if he is aware they may want something physical, as he doesn’t want to worry about whether he’s enough for someone constantly.

He has yet to experience any comments about it and it being invalid / wrong, but he also has yet to tell anyone about his sexuality in fear of such things. He doesn’t tell people about being ace as he doesn’t want any comments about how it’s abnormal, how he’s simply mentally ill (and while he does suffer from depression, anxiety and CPTSD, he dislikes comments like this) or other, more unsavoury comments/harassment attempts.

While he doesn’t fear this from friends - rationally, at least - he is worried they may tell other people who won’t react with support, which is what ultimately leads him to keep quiet about it. Even going into a relationship, he is unlikely to tell his partner for a long time - sometimes, this may be a few months in, others it may be when they’re engaged.

Sometimes, an emotional connection he may perceive as romantic isn’t, so he isn’t likely to tell someone how he feels until he’s figured it out. He mixes up platonic and romantic feelings at times, so he wouldn’t want to be the person who dates someone only to figure out they’re more like a sibling to him. He does operate on a one strike and you’re out type of way with people in his life. Most likely, if you break his trust, he’ll cut you off completely - if someone is remorseful and apologies, he might consider letting them back in, depending on what they did.

Some days he will refuse any touch. He has days where touch is terrifying to him, often correlating with poor mental health on said days, and where he cannot handle it. If someone touches him after being told he doesn’t want to be touched, he will lash out physically out of habit, so please respect his boundaries.

Part of the reason he’s worried about his asexuality is the knowledge he may be expected by his father to continue the Todoroki lineage with a strong quirk, considering Endeavor made that a goal of his. He doesn’t want him to find out and react adversely, regardless of what his actual reaction would be.

For a time, he did believe he may be aromantic. In threads where he has not got any romantic interests canon to that thread, he may still believe himself to be. This is part of why he has issues telling how he feels, because he isn’t sure if he’s feeling a strong platonic attraction (a friend crush, to be simple) or a weak romantic attraction or the difference between them.

He’s worried to hurt people if his supposedly romantic feelings do turn out to be platonic, as he understands that a break up like that can be painful for some people and he doesn’t want to lose an ex-partner as his close friend, either.

Aside from this, he refuses to let people label him with terms such as ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bi’ as, while he does not view them as invalid, he isn’t either of these, as they often imply the presence of sexual attraction and do not completely match his sexuality. Being called that by anyone - or having a relationship he is in referred to as ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ - will be met with annoyance.

[itztagninut]

notes on ancestor veneration 1

Of everything I post about on tumblr, it’s remarkable how many dms I get about my work with my ancestors. I’ve never even really written anything substantial. People are hungry for this knowledge and this connection, regardless of whether you were born into a tradition that venerates its ancestors (which are increasingly rare in this capitalist hellscape) or you were born into a culture that buries its dead and forgets about them. Whether you want to care for them or not, they’re out here.

The most common question I get is, “how do I start?!”

Like many other spiritual experiences, the answer is both difficult and easy: literally just start. Build an ancestor altar. Start making offerings.

Typically, you want to build an ancestor altar. In general, there is no wrong way to do this. If you are part of a tradition with an established practice for ancestral altars, follow your tradition and ignore me!!! If you find yourself (like me, and most other white americans) without much of a tradition, read up on what other folks who are creating their own practices are doing (check reading list below the cut).

I urge you to take special caution not to outright appropriate other traditions, especially traditions closed to outsiders (which should go without saying but is often left out of these conversations). Consider the role of material history in your lineage (a whole post for later). Do not deepen historical wounds by exploiting the spiritual traditions of people your ancestors have oppressed. Just as with interacting with living Elders, respect is of great importance.

After you’ve built your altar, begin spending time with it and making offerings. What are suitable offerings? Kaitlin Coppock gives a great list to start with (linked below):

Fresh water Hot coffee or tea, often sweetened Wine or hard alcohol Cigarettes/ tobacco (someone somewhere upstream smoked, probably many of them) Desserts, sweets, or candy Home cooked food, especially served warm and steaming Fresh fruits, cut and ready to eat Bread, cut and ready to eat Flowers Coins

If you know about your ancestors preferences, try to tailor your offerings to them. For example: if your family struggled with alcoholism, perhaps making offerings of vodka or rum might not attract the ancestors whose help you want. On the other hand, if you great-grandfather had a predilection for chocolate pie (like mine), consider making that part of your offering routine. For more extensive suggestions on offerings, see Coleman below.

Here’s some books and blog posts that explore ancestor altars (and ancestor veneration in general) from a general perspective. I encourage you to explore your own cultural traditions in addition to these more open-ended explorations:

The Ancestral Continuum - Natalia O’Sullivan

Ancestral Lines - Feather & Scale

Ancestral Medicine - Daniel Foor

Bespoken Bones Podcast: Ancestors at the Crossroads of Sex, Magic and Science - Pavini Moray

Communing with the Spirits - Martin Coleman

A Guide to Dead and Ancestral Worship, Altars, Offerings, and Ritual - Kaitlin Coppock

Six Ways - Aidan Wachter

Talking Ancestral Lineage Repair with Dr Daniel Foor - Gordon White, at the Rune Soup Podcast

There you go! Do that for a while! Make offerings and talk to them at your altar. Study them, ask for help, give thanks for their sacrifices which allowed your birth. Collect information about them through mundane means (if you have that privilege); Coleman has a great exercise for this purpose in his book. If you don’t, just make offerings and sit with them. Develop your ability to listen to their subtle voices. They’ll happily tell you about themselves.

[stationhousesix]

Dragons of the World

Dragons aren’t that strange of a creature when compared to the other animals in the world of in the black that are capable of calling upon a god. They aren’t more intelligent than a dog either so there are many myths surrounding the birth of these animals. Some believe the gods made them as servants of their will. Others believe they were born from the fires of a great volcano that once stood where the country of Alta is today.  Anthropologist of the dominion believe they are descended from a common ancestor which was similar to chymmos of today. No one has the answers but these creatures still walk and live in the world alongside wolves, deer, lions and flies and are able to call upon certain aspects of the gods to breath fire, fly and control currents, regardless if they know they are doing that or not.

Dominion Drake and Dragon 

Closely related to Dominion Dragons, Drakes are slightly smaller and tend to only have odd numbers of horns on their head while true dragons will always have an even number of horns. Found all around the Dominion several subspecies share color patterns with Dominion Dragons. Which leads to many people attempting to own a Drake as a pet to be shocked to find they have an actual dragon the first time it breaths fire. 

Drakes tend to live in tree tops by making their own nests or in the crocks of buildings and on roofs. While Dominion Dragons tend to live in the roots of trees or in caves. It is common for both of these creatures to steal bits of shiny objects for their nests called hoards. Candy wrappers, foil, silk, metal bits, or even coins they will take it all in order to brighten up their hoard to attract a potential mate. While Dragons live more solitary lives Drakes prefer to live in small groups of 3-5 members. These groups are often called a Dance of Drakes for the way they play together. Weaving between the bodies of other members without getting caught in a knot. 

  Snehovian Firethorn Dragon

The largest land walking dragon alive. They are a the national animal of Snehovia even appearing on the Snehovia flag. Firethorns are particularly aggressive dragons who do breath fire and will do so just to display their strength at any creatures that dare to challenge them. They are typically found along the southern border of Snehovia and hunt anything they can get a claw on, but a subspecies called the Islinthorns (an all white species) can be found further north preying on polar bears and seals.  Firethorns create hoards in abandoned mines or caves. Some will dig burrows throughout their territories and move between them during different times of the year to be closer to prey. Firethorns like other dragons like to decorate their hoards in shiny objects. They have been known to venture into settlements to steal licenses plates off cars or sheets of metal they can carry while flying. They are particularly intelligent when placing these materials as they will melt them together to fortify their hoards. 

Firethorns typically live alone or with their mate, but often don’t interact with other firethorns unless challenging them for their territories. 

  Chymmos

Chymmos are some of the oldest lineage of dragons in the world. Sirens have featured them in their writing and stories since they invented writing. Chymmos are a hexapod with four stubby legs, and a pair of fins that make them fit for both land and sea.  This paired with the natural ability to manipulate the water currents around them allows them to leave the sea but take a bit of it with them. making sure that their bodies are moist at all times.

Chymmos don’t keep hoards like other dragons. Due to a very nomadic life style they only build a nest when they are going to mate. When they do lay a eggs it is often laid in the shallows to protect the nest from large sea creatures.  The parents will often take turns guarding the nest from birds and any creatures that will try to harm the eggs. Chymmos and Sirens were a good fit for each other as Sirens would build special structures around Chymmos nests in order to protect them from creatures and in return Chymmos were fiercely loyal to the Sirens.  For eons Sirens and Chymmos were one of a kind, hunting together, eating together protecting each other. Which lead to their domestication by the Sirens.

 Now there are thousands of Chymmos breeds, some more capable in hunting then others, while others are breed for style or intelligence. Chymmos are some of the only dragons that prefer to be in groups and will live in large pods with up to 40 other members. They will separate and come back together through out their lives as if nothing happened.

Solidios Wyrm

Not much is known about the Solidios Wyrm.  Once considered the top of the food chain in Los Solidios mountain range.  It’s been an eon since one has been spotted. There are thousands of myths surrounding these dragons and most of them fit somewhere in the Ceilo Mythology. It was said that when Ceilo reincarnated as a Ravian during the 4th Era that he rode a Wyrm he commanded back to life.  It’s said the Solidios- the tall stone spires that jut up from the ground in seemingly no rhythm or reason them self are the the spines of a giant Wyrm that was slain by the living god. 

Before they were hunted to extinction by Ravian Roc riders Wyrms were considered a powerful beasts that children were to praise and fear as it was said these angering these beasts could lead to poor harvests and bad luck on entire villages.  

It is unknown if these dragons could actually breath fire or manipulate the weather somehow. Even the Wyrm that the reincarnated Ceilo rode was special for it was the mount of a god (as Ravians consider) so it was likely unlike the actual living Wyrms. The only traces of these dragons can be found in fossils in museums around the world.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don’t think this counts as a mood-board for @homesteadhorner mood board Monday prompt for next week.  -shrug- I know everyone loves hearing about dragons though so hope you guys enjoy!

[secretshinigami]

What’s in a Snake’s Ale?

Author: @thequietonesarethedarkestones For: @misora-massacre Pairings/Characters: Beyond Birthday, Naomi Misora, and L Lawliet Rating/Warnings: Teen and up for mild drinking and language Prompt: D&D AU Author’s notes: It just so happened that I already had headcanons for this, so it was really exciting to finally write about!! I hope you like it~

        Wolfmaw was an unfortunate name for a town. According to the locals, the name sprung from pointed rock formations that ringed the area; sharp stones the size of trees arranging a pattern that anyone who’s stared into a wolf’s jaws would recognize.

        Lately, though, the symbolism became uncomfortably tangible. Townsfolk often spotted wolves at the edge of their vision, trotting about the outskirts. They never approached close enough to be anything more than ominous. Their presence was threatening nonetheless. The population kept their doors locked with unease, but the animals never gave any real cause for alarm.

        It was common to see a pack passing through an area at the turn of the season. The deciduous nature of the region’s forests coupled with wild weather changes throughout the year scared away most animals looking to spend their entire lives there. Wolves came and went often, but rarely bothered a town, and never stayed for more than a week. Even so, the mind often strays to imagination (for it really knows nothing else), and paranoia painted glowing red eyes and silver fangs into the hearts of many. At least, this is what the Naomi Misora’s deity had told her.

        The Fairwit Watcher was certainly an interesting patron to serve. He sent her wherever her reason was needed most, wherever mystery held logical tongue hostage. She traveled across the empire on his wishes, solving what she could and earning a reputation.

        Misora Massacre, they called her. A human paladin with a razor mind and a roaring heart. It was a grisly name at its core, but it caught all the right attention.

        Because of her reputation, the locals of Wolfmaw welcomed Naomi with open relief. They added to the Fairwit Watcher’s intel, telling varying stretched claims about unusual beasts slinking about unchallenged (None were so bold as to claim damage done—they would have done so without evidence).

        The wolves were entirely normal. She didn’t have to get up close to see that—none of them looked scrawny or sick, so there was no reason for them to enter the village in the first place. The townsfolk insisted on keeping Naomi close by, however, to ease their nerves. They pretended that she had something to do with the pack’s departure the next morning. She would leave them with a nice sum of coin to guide her.

        Through it all Naomi never saw a red eye or silver tooth—it was misguided paranoia after all. After assuring everyone of their safety, Naomi retired to her inn to privately report the results to her patron.

        “Very good, Ms. Misora. You said there were eight of them?” His rather deadpan voice jumped from pitch to pitch and layered over itself. Thus, it was easy for his paladin to recognize. The myths said that justice crystallized when he spoke, and that the unjust always heard grating anger in his words. Regardless, Naomi never felt the urge to act particularly valiant when they conversed. His appearance didn’t persuade her to chivalrousness either, on the occasion that he showed himself—his figure barely held it’s form. The body was a loose shadow of blue-black mist that demonstrated little physical acknowledgment to Naomi’s words. Even so, he had her highest respect.

        “Yes, the group wasn’t overly large or small—the wolves themselves were unremarkable, really. It was paranoia. I’m guessing they had a rough winter or something.”

        “I’m glad to hear it.”

        “Do you have anything else for me to do here?” 

         “Wolfmaw is an interesting place with interesting people—I saw some particularly strange patrons in the bar below, in fact. Enjoy yourself.” As he dissolved away, Naomi decided that these words had been as much of an order as his ‘suggestion’ to investigate the town. That sort of sucked the joy out of relaxing, didn’t it? 

        The wooden staircase protested noisily under her footfalls, but the band playing below overran the groans with sweet singing of lutes and violas. It wasn’t an exquisite venue, but the town was small. There was a decent crowd of folks who had no other option. A heavy scent of alcohol choked the air, and boisterous laughter mingled easily with the music. Naomi opted for a stool by the bar to watch the chaos from a comfortable distance, and through one way or another ended up with a watery mead.

        “Did you do it for justice, or the coin?” The voice came out of nowhere. It was a cobra scraping across rock—rough, uninviting, and hinting at its owner’s danger. However, it had addressed her, so she turned.

         “I don’t think that’s any of your business,” She responded before even looking at him properly. He had certainly snuck up on her, which was admirable considering his conspicuous appearance and Naomi’s adept perception. Most of his look raised no sort of alarm—his bronze skin glittered in the low torchlight, and thick black curls pulled into a short tumbling ponytail gleamed in duet. His clothes were not foreign or even expensive.

        What set him apart were startlingly ruby-like scales that patterned his cheekbones, forehead, and bridge of his nose. Naomi recognized him as of partial Yuan-ti lineage.

        He had a flask instead of a tankard, and after he took a sip, his lips were lined with the same cherry shade his scales. Naomi could smell the dark drink without leaning in or focusing. It was nauseatingly sweet. 

        “At least let me introduce myself,” he said, smiling at her like she wasn’t glowering in silence. “Rue Ryuzaki, at your service.” He punctuated this addition with another long drink. Whatever it was, it was certainly alcoholic, but by no means a good or healthy substance. Naomi pulled her glass closer to herself, suddenly grateful for the mead’s weakness.

        “At my service for what?” She asked, keeping her name locked close. His personality type wasn’t enigmatic, and she had dealt with it before. It was sometimes best not to give them what they wanted. Ryuzaki did not take long to stitch together a reply even in rather rudely obvious disappointment.

        “Anything you’d like. My time is yours,” He said, without much of his previous enthusiasm. 

        “…”

        “Come on, pity me.” At least that wasn’t something that she’d heard before. Naomi cursed herself for letting it hook her interest. She’d just give him a chance to speak. “You could at least answer my question—I’ll even answer one of yours in return.” He wasn’t giving up. Naomi gathered her patience. Ryuzaki was suspiciously suspicious—it was obvious that he was the reason the Fairwit Watcher had ordered her to have fun. This was a work call. It was a responsibility.

        “I did it because it was required of me.” She hoped the vague answer would piss him off enough to leave her alone. It was only dry kindling to flame.

        “So justice and coin. Sounds like a fun job, then.” Ryuzaki tapped his fingernails against his flask, and Naomi noticed that portions of his hands were also armored with scales. Normal fingernails, though.

        “Well, I’m a man of my word. Ask me something,” Ryuzaki said. She figured that if he was being so cooperative (overeager is probably the better word), then she might as well take advantage of it.

        “What brought you here?”

        “To Wolfmaw? My job. Same as you.” He seemed undaunted by the suggestion that perhaps she had not meant the question on a larger scale, for Yuan-ti were rarely seen in the empire. Most often they chose to settle in the warm marshes that lay outside of the western borders. Naomi had read about them before, and she was familiar with the rude whispers that often followed their name.

        They were called abominations, children of chaos. She wondered if Ryuzaki was even aware of this. He was persistent at being ignorant to any insult issued to him, so it was possible that he was only aware of what was starkly presented to him. Naomi already hated him.

        At the end of the day, though, she didn’t know him. Anything could be going through his head. If he was good enough at hiding it, she would never be aware.

        “Your job,” She repeated with doubt. It wasn’t that she didn’t think he could have one. It was that it had allegedly brought him to Wolfmaw. They didn’t order many commissions. What business could he have if it wasn’t connected to the recent paranoia?

        “Yes. I was told to take care of a few things.”

        “By who?” Naomi leaned closer despite her instincts screaming not to. She scrutinized his expression with eyes of steel. This town could only barely serve as a tourist attraction, so an aristocrat having interest was doubtful. The fact that the Fairwit Watcher wanted her involved made Naomi wonder if Ryuzaki had been hired by a crime lord of sorts. But what could they want in the area…?

        Ryuzaki seemed unalarmed, which was kind of disappointing. He gave her a snake-like grin. When he refused to pull away, Naomi realized in the proximity that his eyes reflected his scales and the stain on his lips—red like nothing she’d ever seen, and with ringed patterns like you’d find on rocks by a lake’s shore. Staring into them was like teetering on the edge of the Infernal plane. It was dizzying, but she didn’t look away. Looking away meant losing.

        “Private contractor,” he said, leaning away an inch, “You wouldn’t know her.” Every word he spoke raised another red flag.

        “If you tell me, I’ll answer another one of your questions.” That was precisely the opposite of what Naomi wanted to do, but sometimes you had to suck it up for the sake of your patron.

        “I don’t have any more questions.” He spread his palms. Naomi gritted her teeth. When had he decided to be difficult?

        “You had questions before, are you telling me you aren’t interested in them anymore?”

        “Oh? I suppose I am.” He grinned. Naomi had broken her rule, she gave him what he wanted. She was going to pay.

        “Here’s a question: who’s your employer? You must have one—I believe in fate, but you’re far too good at your job to have stumbled upon this little mystery by accident.” Naomi’s mead suddenly tasted sour in her mouth. His words glaringly demonstrated that he had kept an eye on her. Was he just going to keep getting more suspicious?

        The Fairwit Watcher didn’t request total secrecy. After all, one has to be at least marginally known to gain a following. Still, his name wasn’t one that you were careless with.

        Naomi remembered that she was getting shady information in exchange for this, so Ryuzaki would be a hypocrite to scold her.

        “The Fairwit Watcher,” she took a sip of her mead to seem nonchalant, “I doubt you’ve heard of him either.” Ryuzaki leaned forward with such force onto the bar that the wood shrieked.

        “The Fairwit Watcher? Of course I know him. He’s a total asshole!” Despite his venomous words, Ryuzaki was smiling again, that wide and toothy smile that was so serpentine it made Naomi wonder why he didn’t have fangs or a forked tongue.

        “Excuse me?” 

        “Oh, come on, you agree.” She did, but she couldn’t say that. 

        “How do you…is he your patron?”

        “Was. Does he not treat you like garbage?”

        “No?”

        “Unbelievable.” He laughed, then drowned it in whatever awful sludge he was drinking. 

        “Is your new employer your new patron?”

        “Excellent work, she is!” The praise made Naomi want to gag. “Her name is Nu.” She indeed had not heard of this deity before. Perhaps she was particular to Yuan-ti?

        “She’s a death goddess. Doesn’t attract much attention, though.”

        “Does she speak to you?”

        “I get vague suggestions. No voices.” 

        “And she told you to come here.” 

        “Vaguely.”

        “…” Naomi figured that to give someone the name and location of a town, she’d have to be pretty precise. Maybe Ryuzaki didn’t know what vague meant at all.

        “Are you sure that’s the work of a deity?” She asked, speaking somewhat slowly.

        “Oh, yes. She’s given me what you would call ‘otherworldly powers.’” It sounded like a brag. Naomi almost wanted to list of what the Fairwit Watcher had done for her in rebuttal. She held her tongue.

        “Huh…that’s interesting,” Naomi said, mostly as a way to fill the silence that followed the easy flow of questions. Ryuzaki had his eyes glued on her, and she found it difficult to look away. His gaze flitted above her head, then back again.

        “Well, I should get going.” He buckled his flask to his belt and pushed his stool back. Naomi felt like she should stop him (you know, out of duty), but really couldn’t bring herself to. Ryuzaki was weird, but he wasn’t malicious. If pressed, Naomi would probably describe him as a social outcast with a disturbingly outgoing attitude. Maybe the Fairwit Watcher was just messing with her.

        “No other questions?” Naomi forced herself to ask.

        “No. I hope to see you around, Ms. Misora.” He flashed another reptilian smile. She stood up at once, balking at him like he had just told her (very calmly) that he was a banana slug. He waved at her as he sped through the crowd with unabashed cheer, and she had a feeling that she would see him again. The very fact was unsettling.

        Mostly because she’d never mentioned her name.

[salaciouscrumpet]

Whumptober Day 16

Whumptober Day 16 Prompt: “Pinned Down”

This is, I think, the “whumpiest” of my ficlets so far, and it goes to some pretty dark places. I’d like to remind my readers that these ficlets aren’t canon to my actual series (although references to past experiences do refer to things that have happened to my characters canonically, like Luke’s childhood or how he came to join the Alliance), this is essentially just fanfiction of my own writing (which, whoa, vain!). Thought experiments, not things that have happened prior to the novel’s start or are going to happen in-world.

This ficlet is exposition-heavy and long, and while it is not about the abuse that Luke suffered as a child -- I am unlikely to ever write graphically about that; it’s enough that I know, in broad scope, what happened and how it affected him -- it is definitely impacted by that abuse and his mind definitely makes the connections.

This ficlet also ends on a dark note. It was getting long -- 7 pages! -- and I think I dealt with the prompt enough to end it where I did. There are a few other Whumptober prompts that will spin off of this, so remember: not canon, and not the end.

CW: References to childhood sexual abuse. Again, this is not what the ficlet is about, and at no point is it ever described graphically, but it has an impact on how things play out. Also, trigger warnings for brief internalized homophobia, humiliation (which is a personal squick of mine), non-graphic non-con and a whole heap of victim self-blaming. This fic is about vampires, not rape, but the connections are there and that could be triggering for some readers.

Characters: Luke, Kate

Growing up, Luke had always heard about his family’s great legacy, about how they were descended from the bravest and most powerful Knights of the Seelie Court down through centuries of carefully-preserved breeding. (The details of which probably involved some branches of the family tree that looped back around on each other, but of course nobody talked about that.) Nobody outright said the Knights of Oberon and their Incarnate lineage were better than everybody else, but it was heavily implied. That was one of the reasons the Scions had broken off from the greater Knighthood: because the Knighthood was supposed to be a punishment, a penance for opening the rifts that enabled monsters to enter the world – or some such, the legends were all rather vague after a few centuries. The Knights weren’t supposed to see themselves as better, but they did. They were warriors, protectors, guardians of the just and the righteous, the stalwart defense against a world of monstrosities and abominations. (That their ancestors had let into the world. That was an important part that the Order often conveniently overlooked.) 

And in a lot of ways, the Knights were better than other people. They were stronger, faster, more resilient. Their bodies could take more damage and healed from that damage more quickly. Some of that was inherent, a result of their Incarnate, Fae-descended bloodline. Some of it was the result of the vows they swore when they formally joined the Order. The end result was the same in that there were legitimate reasons for the Knights of Oberon to see themselves as being above regular humans, even those who were also Fae-blooded. (And certainly above anyone who was demon-blooded, which was the lowest of the low, obviously. One doesn’t mate with monsters. The fact that very few humans did so willingly was neither here nor there, so far as the Knighthood was concerned.) It’s not that they thought they were better. It’s just that they were better. 

However, one way in which the Knights of Oberon – and indeed, all Incarnate, regardless of sworn oaths – were just the same as regular-blooded humans was when it came to vampires. 

More specifically, when it came to a vampire’s bite. 

Vampires didn’t survive as a species by leaving behind a trail of drained, anguished-looking corpses. Perhaps they did so back in the early days, when humans lived in smaller settlements and the nights were darker and scarier, but over the centuries they evolved just like everything else. And like a lot of creatures, vampires evolved to suit their surroundings. They could hide their monstrous appearances underneath a human veneer and they could mask their predatory behaviour behind more pleasurable endeavours. There were always slip-ups, of course, especially with younger, newer vampires who didn’t know their own strength (or the strength of their hunger), but overall it was far easier and safer to leave a partner feeling weak and limp after a bout of enthusiastic lovemaking than it was to leave a victim drained dead in a ditch somewhere. To that end, the bite of a vampire was pleasurable, particularly when the vampire fed from or near an erogenous zone. The victim came away with some bruises in the form of hickeys, the vampire came away well-fed, and both parties were quite satisfied – even if the human had no idea what really happened to them. 

Growing up it was never something Luke heard spoken about. It wasn’t until he was a teenager, when he and his peers started learning about more illicit activities, and the topic of vampires and their bites would come up. Then someone would smirk or give a knowing wink, and huddled together at night on their bunk beds after lights-out they would speak in hushed voices about what it might be like to be fed on by a vampire. That it was said to feel good – orgasmic, even, and then Luke had had to go and find a dictionary to learn what that meant (and the resulting discovery, and the realization that he was already ahead of his peers in that respect – albeit not by choice – had left him feeling sick and dirty). It wasn’t something you were supposed to look for, of course. Vampires weren’t, strictly speaking, the enemy unless they did something to attract human attention, like killing a bunch of people or leaving huge puddles of blood everywhere, but they certainly weren’t friends, either. But if you got into a fight with a vampire, and it bit you, and it felt good … well, that was hardly your fault, right? (Then you could justify killing it afterwards, and you got two rewards out of it: what some people said was the best orgasm of your life, and what was, to a Knight, the more just reward in the form of a dead monster that was obviously a threat to others.) 

Luke had sort of skipped over that stage of teenaged prurient interest. When the other boys had talked about sex he had feigned interest and tried to tune them out. He didn’t want to share that his own experiences had started much earlier than theirs (and with a man, which was somehow so much worse). He didn’t want to talk about it. And if that meant his friends thought he was a prude, or frigid, well, that was okay. It was better than them knowing the truth. 

So while Luke knew, in theory, about vampires and their bite, it wasn’t something he had much experience with or interest in. There was a nest of vampires in town, but they were considered respectable. They ran businesses, brought a significant amount of money into town, and supported initiatives that benefited the community. They were normal citizens. They didn’t just go out and attack random people, they cultivated their herd, took care of their herd. They had willing donors, or at least people they fed from that they didn’t kill who kept coming back for more. (Luke had also heard that the bite of a vampire was addictive to some people, but he didn’t know whether or not that was true. People could become addicted to a lot of things, so … maybe? Maybe, to some people, being fed on by a vampire was a lot like wine, or chocolate, or playing the slots. Some people could handle it and knew their limits, others couldn’t and didn’t.) The local nest weren’t the sort of vampires that the Knights would be called in to deal with, and it wasn’t until he joined the Alliance that he had any interactions with the local vampires at all – and those interactions were purely diplomatic, since the Alliance had formal ties with all the supernatural creatures in town. (Except, ironically, the Knights of Oberon: because Luke was officially the only Knight who was connected to the Alliance, and he wasn’t technically a Knight.) The Alliance supported all the supernatural creatures, not just the ones the Knights deemed acceptable. 

He’d grown up being told that, as an Incarnate who was a part of this great and mystical legacy, he was better than all the humans around him. When it came to vampires, however, he was as disappointingly weak as any Average Joe off the street – with one exception, and that was something else the Knights hadn’t ever really talked about: 

To a vampire, the Knights of Oberon were like the finest champagne or a mountain of pure uncut heroin. Whether it was the allure of danger or there really was something special in the Knight’s blood, the end result was that their blood was to vampires like catnip was to cats. 

This was … information Luke could’ve used earlier. 

These vampires were not the nest the Alliance had introduced him to. Rogue vampires were rare, but not unheard of, although in tight-knit communities like theirs they were usually caught and dealt with by the local nest long before they became an issue the Knights or the Alliance needed to address. These ones were a small rogue pack, maybe five in total, and they had swarmed the old cabin like ants at a picnic. Luke and Kate had been out patrolling in the woods, in a stretch of forest they’d been through hundreds of times before, when they’d been attacked out of nowhere and quickly, surprisingly overpowered. 

And now Luke knew three things for certain: 

1. The Knights of Oberon were wrong: they weren’t any better than regular humans.

2. His horny schoolmates had been right: the bite of a vampire was orgasmic.

3. The local vampire Monarchs were going to be pissed off if they ever found out about these rogues. 

As he lay on the rotting floorboards of an ancient and decrepit cabin long thought abandoned, Luke was rapidly become aware of another unwelcome piece of knowledge: He wasn’t nearly as strong as he thought he was. 

Physically, yeah, he knew his own strength. It wasn’t a match for a hungry vampire, but on the whole it was definitely above-average and generally pretty great. Mentally, though? He was nowhere near strong enough to handle this. 

Because the thing of it was, he wasn’t a horny teenager curious about the seedy underbelly of the supernatural world. He was a man with a troubled past, and that past included being taken advantage of as a child. It included someone he trusted holding him down and taking from him, and that experience had marked him, had left him every bit as scarred as the burns down his arm or the tiny incisions along his inner thighs that only two other people in the world had ever seen before. It included being weak, and helpless, and feeling every bit as vulnerable and scared as he felt right now with a monster pinning him to the floor, its fangs lodged in his neck. 

Nor did Luke think he was strong enough to hear Kate’s screams from somewhere nearby, because the other thing he had learned as a child was that demons and demon-blooded humans – like Kate – did not experience pleasure from a vampire’s bite. Generally speaking, vampires didn’t even like feeding from the demon-blooded, because they were said to taste bad (as were vampires themselves, which was one reason why Knight archivists theorized that vampires were in some way demonic as well). It was considered beneath vampires to feed from demons and their ilk, and that was supposedly why they didn’t taste as pleasant as humans, and why there was no reason for the demon-blooded to find the bite pleasurable. Instead, it was painful. Judging from Kate’s screams – and Luke could count on one hand the number of times he had heard Kate scream, and still have fingers left over – it was incredibly painful. 

The vampires weren’t even drinking Kate’s blood. They were biting her, and draining her, but they spat the blood out again: onto the floor, out into the woods, even back out onto Luke and Kate. Her blood wasn’t worth the taking, they were simply using the act of feeding to hurt her. To kill her. 

Between Kate’s agony and his own tortured pleasure, Luke was pretty sure he was going to snap. The vampires weren’t going to kill him, his mind was going to crack wide open and he was going to go stark raving mad. 

The sun was out and the vampires had gone to ground for the day. Their absence didn’t mean a break for Luke and Kate, however: the vampires had a pair of humans, a man and a woman, who saw to their needs during the day. Both were pale and stringy and put Luke in mind of the hard-core drug users he’d seen on occasion, the strung-out junkies looking for their next fix, and under normal circumstances he could have overpowered both of them together with one hand behind his back. While playing Candy Crush on his phone and eating a sandwich. These weren’t normal circumstances, however, and both Luke and Kate were chained to the ground and weak and injured from blood loss. The vampires had given their thralls enough of their blood to give them extra strength, as well; not enough that they would have been a match for their two captives, but more than enough to handle them when sick and weakened. 

In the beginning Kate had been all fire and spit, hurling curses and threats and fighting like the hellcat she was until the vampires had beaten her down and subdued her. Now she was barely conscious, glazed eyes staring sightlessly into nothing, her voice completely gone from screaming. To Luke’s own great shame he’d been far more useless: the instant one of the vampires bit him his body had gone limp and lax, and the flood of unwanted pleasure, combined with the sensation of being pinned to the ground, had triggered unpleasant memories that left him snared and helpless. He was suddenly ten years old again, trapped alone in his dark bedroom with a monster a hundred times worse than any he had read about as part of his supernatural studies, and nobody – not his father, not his mother, not any of his most trusted teachers and mentors – was going to come and rescue him. He was small and helpless and weak, and the worst part was that it was his body that betrayed him in the end, because the vampires, just like Martin Sleswick, could force his body to react however they wanted him to. 

“Please,” he called out, his voice barely stronger than Kate’s. His lips were dry and chapped, and he could taste blood on his tongue. Laid out as he was on his back on the hardwood floor, his entire world had become the rotting ceiling above him, the wispy lines of sunlight that filtered through cracks in the cabin’s walls, and the feeling of Kate’s hand, cold and limp in his own. They’d grabbed on to each other when the vampires had started feeding, and their desperation had amused the monsters so much that they’d let them continue holding on. At first Luke had felt Kate’s struggles, the way her fingers had clenched down hard on his own, but now there was nothing. He hadn’t let go, however. He was afraid that if he did let go she would be lost – they both would. “Please.” 

One of the thralls – the man, who spent his time sitting on a milk crate, smoking cigarettes and making lewd promises he hadn’t yet decided to follow up on – let out a harsh bark of laughter. Of the two of them, he seemed the most amused by what the vampires were doing to their captives, like the torture Luke and Kate were going through was being done purely for his entertainment. 

“What?” he snapped out, launching himself up off the milk crate to come and stand over Luke. He was too short and skinny to pull off an intimidating stance, but it was clear that was what he was aiming for. “What do you want now, your lordship? Shall I fetch the servants to shine your shoes? Would your lordship like another pillow?” 

“I just …” Luke thought hard, but his mind was in scrambles. He could barely remember what day it was or how long he and Kate had been missing. He’d tried keeping track of the time – he’d long had a body clock trained into him and could usually guess the hour without giving it much thought, but the only concept of time he had was night, when the vampires were back, and day, when they were gone. 

The first day, when the vampires left and it was just him and Kate with the two thralls, he’d tried convincing the humans to unchain them both, to let them go free. It had been pointless, of course: they were called thralls for a reason. Whether they served the vampires out of love or duty or fear or some combination of all three, the man and woman weren’t going to set their victims free, not even when Luke promised them safety within the Alliance. Eventually he’d tried asking for food or water – the two thralls seemed to have an interminable source of junk food, which was all they ate – but had been refused. He’d even tried asking just to be led somewhere so that he could relieve himself in some semblance of privacy, but even that had been denied, with the man sneering and laughing at him when Luke had inevitably been forced to wet himself where he lay. It was disgusting and humiliating and contributed to his ever-increasing sense of shame and desperation. 

“Just let her go,” he said at last, aware of the pleading note in his voice. If he could have gone to his knees in front of the two thralls he would have done so, but chained supine as he was the best he could do was to put as much sincerity and hope in his weakened voice as he could manage. “Please. You can … They can do whatever they want to me. Whatever they want. Anything they want, I’ll do it, just please, please let her go.” 

He meant it, too. Whatever the vampires wanted, whatever the thralls wanted, he was willing to do it if it just meant Kate got to go free. If they wanted him to grovel, to bend down and lick their boots clean, he’d do it. They could drain him until they took the last drop of his blood and if it just meant Kate was safe and alive, he’d die happy. 

This time it was the woman who scoffed, letting out a series of high-pitched giggles that were like nails on a chalkboard to Luke’s ears. 

“Her?” she exclaimed, between the laughs. She didn’t bother to get up, but remained seated cross-legged on the floor, a half-eaten bag of cool ranch Doritos in front of her. She ate each chip like a little mouse, nibbling delicately until it was gone. Luke didn’t know if she was eating that way to torture him – he couldn’t help but watch her – or if that was simply the way she normally ate. “They’re not going to let her go. She killed Derek. They’re gonna make her pay for that.” 

Derek. That had been the vampire’s name, then, the man Kate had killed when the vampires had swarmed them. It had been a lucky shot, just as another vampire had taken her down. The two of them had been too overwhelmed, they hadn’t seen the attack coming. Luke didn’t actually want to know the vampires’ names; that made them people instead of just monsters. It was funny, though: he’d never much cared for the name ‘Derek,’ there had been a bully by that name back when he was in elementary school. He had been Luke’s parents’ friends’ son and Luke had been forced to spend more time than he would have liked with the kid, in the way that the children of your parents’ friends were, for the sake of convenience and proximity, automatically assumed to be your friends. The Derek Luke had known had died shortly after taking his vows, his death made memorable solely because of the cause: a late-night traffic accident, his car spun out on an icy road. It was unusual for the Knights of Oberon to die in random accidents. Their deaths were usually more deliberate than that. 

“Besides,” the man said, moving to stand next to Kate. He kicked her in the side with the toe of his boot; she barely reacted, nothing more than a flutter of eyelashes and her fingers spasming within Luke’s grasp. “It’s not like she’s gonna get far on her own. What, you think we’re gonna carry her out of here? Drop her off at emerg? Just ‘cause you said please?” He snorted, crouching down beside Kate and grabbing her chin with one hand to turn her face towards him. “Shame. Saw the way she fought. Bet she was a demon in the sack.” 

The man paused for a moment, then burst out laughing as he suddenly realized his own inadvertent pun. He and the woman both knew who and what Luke and Kate were, that Luke was a Knight of Oberon and that Kate was one of the fomoir. It was why the vampires had wanted them, or at least, why they had wanted Luke. According to the one who had bit him first, they’d never had a Knight before and wanted to know if the stories were true, about how delicious they were. From what Luke had learned in supernatural studies the Knights didn’t taste any different from any other human aside from the demon-blooded, despite their long-held belief in their own superiority. He’d been taught it was just an old wives’ tale that the Knights of Oberon tasted better (when it was mentioned at all, which was rarely), or that feeding from them was in some way superior, simply because of the challenge of bringing a Knight down. 

Of course, it hadn’t been difficult for these vampires to bring Luke down at all. Kate had been the one who’d fought. He’d swooned like a maiden in a fairy tale. 

Fresh shame flooded through Luke, heightened by the sudden burning in his eyes that signalled the threat of tears. He was not going to cry in front of these assholes. He may have let Charlie convince him over the years that, contrary to everything Luke had been taught, it was perfectly acceptable for men to cry, but there was still a large part of him that believed it to be a sign of weakness. He’d already proven himself weak, he wasn’t going to compound it by breaking down like a child. 

And that was what he felt like: a child. Worse, he felt like the child he’d been, helpless against the greater strength of a monster. All the years of growth and training and experience meant nothing when pitted against creatures that knew how to use your body against you and who delighted in doing so. 

He wanted to be like Kate, vicious and strong and ferocious even when brought down low. And normally Luke thought he was like that. He’d been a fighter all his life. He’d fought and killed bigger and badder monsters than a handful of vampires. He’d been tortured and abandoned and had come out the other side stronger and better for it, and yet this? This experience? It was like nothing he’d ever been trained for. No one had ever warned him that vampires could use his own body’s sensations against him so easily. No one had ever said that all it would take was one bite for him to roll over and show his belly. Or maybe no one had ever told him because they hadn’t thought it would be necessary, because Knights of Oberon weren’t supposed to respond the way he did – that he only folded because he was corruptible, because he’d been conditioned to like it, that his childhood experiences had broken something fundamental within him and left him weak and wanting. Maybe, despite all the reassurances Charlie and Kate had given him over the years, Sleswick really had destroyed something within him and as a result Luke had failed, was failing, couldn’t seem to stop failing. 

And now he and Kate were going to die. Kate was going to die – because Luke was weak.