#regardless of their intentions. good or not

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

This type of condescending post is why the LGBT is losing acceptance.

I just want that to be understood. Because let's break this down.

OP's picture compares "Flamboyance" to Joy. These things are not the same.

"Gay joy reminds the straight man of what he has suffocated himself in exchange for social acceptance or power". Ok this is another one of those "Gay is ackchewally the default" arguments. Or one of those, "men loving other men is normal but you are just giving that up for power and acceptance". No they aren't giving up jack shit. THEY ARE JUST STRAIGHT. Wtf. And you people claim you are born gay but straight people aren't real? Please justify the double standard.

"He folds himself into whatever shape looks like" Yeah. Men generally do that regardless. Unless you are telling me that gay men are incapable of being "Proper men" because they are gay. The funniest bit about this argument is that you think you are pointing out that straight men don't know what real men are when historically, men help foster the next generation. They help train the next generation to protect and defend. They hunt for the settlements and explore the world around them to keep the village safe. This has always been true. Men FOLD themselves into whatever they need to be in order to keep life going forward. That "Folding" isn't "stopping myself from being gay and happy".

Also just to point out this last bit-

#and remember you've contorted yourself into the shape of a Real Woman in exchange for soc acceptance & power#and denied yourself the gentle acceptance of doing what is comfortable on this earth

People opt for whatever standards they want. If not enough people care about those standards, they fade away. That's how society works. You are making a jab at the idea of "Real woman" when often the term historically I've heard is "Proper". Real and Proper have two different meanings. And what's more, earlier before this line, you act like, condescendingly so, that "society has created a bad standard for what a real woman is and women mindlessly go along with it." <Paraphrasing here. Even more, you posit this-

#similar w straight women hating butch lesbians#you see a woman not shaving not wearing make up wearing comfy clothes and still being loved and desired

And let me mention something here. 1. Butch Lesbians are a very small minority in the Lesbian community. 2. The way you say this is almost the same condescending way that top post implied that "Gay" is ACTUALLY the way to be a "real man". Except here it's "growing out your body hair is how you be a "real woman". Except I'd be willing to bet FemLesbians do not agree with you. Especially not Fem for Fem.

Posts like this are often fucking stupid, made with possibly good intent but fall short as they only go, "WOW STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SO MAD". YEAH. I've been pissed for years that gay men have targeted me, a red head, and tried to get me to do sexual acts with them. And have tried to force their lifestyles on me.

SO YES. A little pissed off. But not for the reasons you claim. I don't care if a person is flamboyant. Unless they are really obnoxious about it. Because after a point, you are just putting on a performance so that everyone around you has to see you. And it's actually fucking annoying. What's more, misery and joy can't be quantified by whether or not you shave. A lot of people actually prefer to groom themselves by shaving because it's easier to keep themselves clean and make them sweat less. Take it from me as the fucking missing link, I'm the embodiment of wishing I could afford laser hair removal. And if I hate my own body hair as much as I do, color me shocked that as many women willingly shave for just themselves as do.

Posts like this are actually quite demeaning. And very condescending. Now to punt this over to my gay ally -> @theconstitutionisgayculture

EXACTLY!

[erwinsvow]

okay, sorry, yes, i was thinking about the "pope as a dog bred for a fighting ring" metaphor specifically in season 2 when amy first goes in to kiss him and he physically recoils like, "what is happening?"

for a lot of dogs in rehab for aggression, it's not the violence itself that needs to be addressed, but the fear. like, what is the underlying trigger here?

a small majority of dogs rescued are termed "dog aggressive"--as in, their violence is triggered by any dog they see, regardless of the situation (these are often the most difficult to rehab and tend to be unsuccessful in home placements). they can't trust their own ability to tell another dog's intentions, often because they were raised for violence so young that they didn't learn typical "friendly dog" behaviors. so to protect themselves, they give up on distinguishing friend from foe altogether.

but a larger chunk of dogs are "pit aggressive"--as in, they are only triggered to violence when placed within the confines of a fighting pit, because they have learned to expect the pain and fear it. they react specifically to things like enclosed spaces with another dog or when threatened (even with something like a warning growl).

i think pope is something my friend in dog rehab calls a "one angry tooth" dog. these are the dogs that are mostly outwardly calm, though very tightly wound. and it's often "one angry tooth"--or one sometimes impossible to predict trigger--that will set them off.

but it's like pope has come to fear that knowledge of himself. like he's not pit-aggressive (he's not afraid of a situation where someone will hurt him), but rather he's afraid of his own nature. his own impossible-to-predict "angry tooth." and that fear, especially when it's validated by others who try to tell him what his own nature is, creates a trigger cycle of fear->anger->violence.

i'm imagining reader subtly using both negative and positive reinforcement. like picking up on the fact that pope is not good at non-verbal cues, and explictly needs to know how a person is feeling, paired with the fact that the thing he cares about the most is making you feel good/safe.

so when he opens up about something, or says something positive about himself (even if it's small), reader is like, "it makes me so happy when you tell me X" or "i love when you X." and giving him a little squeeze or hair ruffle. "i'm so happy you slept through the night; it makes me feel good knowing i can give that to you."

and when he's in self-hatred mode, saying, "it really hurts me when you say these things about yourself" (because, jesus, he'd never want to hurt you!)

and using redirecting tactics when she can tell he's getting overstimulated or circling the drain in his head (forcing him to hold eye contact; "tell me something good you saw today--anything at all.")

I literally have no words because you said everything but I just am so in love with this I’m gonna go spend an hour daydreaming about it. he’d never want to hurt you 🥹 understanding that someone loves him that much that hurting him is hurting you…. your analysis of the different types is so fascinating too and by golly If you write this I will be the literal first like

[genderfeel]

valjean dad discussion though has made me think a bit about the role of fatherhood in les mis as a whole, and the wide range of fathers it chooses to portray. you have thenardier and tholomyes, who actively abandon and/or neglect their children. countless other fathers (javert’s?) are simply absent from the narrative because of incarceration, economic factors, etc. georges, who desperately wants fatherhood but is denied access to it, is forced to live on the sidelines of his son’s life, a mirror or inverse to fantine’s struggle to support cosette alone. there’s a certain passivity, intentional or not, to fatherhood here. it’s a privilege the mothers don’t have when children are foisted onto them, regardless of if they’re wanted or not

and then you get valjean, who embraces both fatherhood and motherhood. it’s as much forced onto him as it is a choice; he seeks out parenthood to the point of faking his own death and escaping jail just to get to this kid, not to mention getting buried alive so she can get an education. this isn’t to say valjean is a good parent because of eternal self sacrifice—that’s the very thing that tears them apart and kills him in the end. the thing that sets him apart, at the outset, is that he wanted her, and he chose her

[whumpster-fire]

You know what? Here's a useful rule of thumb if you communists actually want to call yourselves pro-worker:

Ask yourself: is the person you're talking about fighting to defend their right to profit off of others' labor, or are they fighting to defend their right to profit off their own labor from people who are trying to seize the proceeds of their labor?

If the person you're talking about makes their income by performing labor, to either produce goods or perform services, they're a worker, regardless of how much of the capital they use to do their work is owned by them and how much is owned by someone else. If they make income by owning things, and either charging people to use them or using their ownership of capital to seize the profits of other people's labor? Then they're "Ownership Class."

There is an in-between thing, where someone may genuinely do substantial labor for their business but primarily make their income from owning Capital that allows them to exploit the labor of workers, e.g. a guy who's in charge of a plumbing business and still does actual plumbing but is making way more than his employees because he owns the trucks and the tools, and I would argue that YouTubers can fall into that category if they have a whole brand identity, have employees editing their videos and making their thumbnails, and so on, are making lots of money by making merch they paid someone to design and that some sweatshop somewhere is manufacturing, etc.

However, the relationship between a creator and a platform such as YouTube is absolutely a Worker vs Owner dynamic. The creators perform labor that has economic value (in the form of ad revenue), and while they may own some of the capital involved in the production of their videos, YouTube fundamentally makes money by owning capital necessary for the distribution of those videos (servers, infrastructure, domain name, Brand which is part of an oligopoly), which it uses to profit off the labor of workers by claiming a portion of the proceeds of monetized videos.

Nintendo, meanwhile, is a company that fundamentally makes money by owning Intellectual Property, which allows it to exploit of labor of workers it employs to actually make its products. If a YouTuber is making Transformative Works involving Nintendo products, which may include reviews, it may include gameplay as performance art, it may include analysis or commentary, or even remixes of soundtracks, the actual products all for all intents and purposes capital; they are the fucking means of production, and typically the creator is ALREADY FUCKING PAYING TO USE THEM. A fraudulent copyright strike is Nintendo going outside the bounds of an IP Law system which is already incredibly fucking favorable to them, and using the copyright claim system to ILLEGALLY SEIZE THE PROCEEDS OF A WORKER'S LABOR, colluding with another Ownership Class entity (YouTube) to use the fact that our Pay to Play legal system gives individual workers almost no legal recourse against billion dollar corporations.

YouTubers and creative workers in general can have a "complicated class position" but this interaction is incredibly cut and dry: a worker is fighting to keep the crumb of the proceeds of their labor they're "allowed" to have from being seized by Ownership Class entities. This isn't independent creators being unable to compete, this is direct exploitation in the exact same way that any other exploitation against quasi-independent workers is: you might as well say Doordash drivers are Petit Bourgeoisie because they own their vehicles and dismiss their claims of wage theft because they're in a "complicated class position."

If you want to keep claiming that the Communist Manifesto has any credibility or relevance, consider the idea that the sinking of the "Petit Bourgeoisie" into the Proletariat that Marx and Engels wrote about has already happened in the 170+ fucking years since they wrote it. Most people in creative industries are either wage laborers, whether they're directly employed or doing Gig Economy shit, or are not making significantly more than they would as wage laborers. Artists and artisans getting rich are rare outliers. I guarantee you the average guy with a YouTube channel or a Patreon is not thinking of themselves as a temporarily embarrassed millionaire, they're thinking of themselves as being able to maybe make a living wage if they're skilled, dedicated, and lucky.

I really like this quote, because its a rhetorical question to which the correct answer is yes,

[see-arcane]

Zerxus Ilerez, former First Knight of Avalir, Exandria’s Most Extreme Redemption Paladin, damned by his own bleeding heart’s hemorrhaging on behalf of the Devil. This man suffers so much. Holy hell.

Ramble about this poor fucking guy below the cut

Out of the entire ExU Calamity miniseries, his plotline is the one that burrows deepest in my brain and shreds my heart on the way.

He loses his husband to an impossible affliction, apparently erasing him from existence. He gets sequestered up in the Depression Tower to play solitary magic guard to an enchanted overstimulating city and loses his relationship with his son, left with family for years at a time. He’s singled out as a pawn by Asmodeus specifically because he believes so deeply in redemption that he can be manipulated into buying a ‘sympathy for the devil’ routine and be conned into inviting him into the world. He gets killed multiple times in a single second upon fulfilling this role, has his son’s life and the lives of his friends dangled as a spur to make him sell his soul as the Devil’s personal champion—itself another knife twist as he prided himself on being a divine hero who knelt to no gods—and is damned to an infernal eternity. Even his one way out, a mercy kill attempt by his best friend, is thwarted.

In-game/series, supposedly it’s because Zerxus sabotaged himself with his own bottomless desperate hope; his certainty that salvation is for everyone. Himself. The Lord of the Hells. Everyone. And so he falls to his new lord’s domain, thinking that this single belief is what finishes the contract and dooms him.

Out-of-game/series—as we consider the fact that Asmodeus killed and resurrected him three times and a mere weapon of his was enough to anchor his soul while it was already en route to the afterlife—and the fact that the contract itself demanded Zerxus’ soul would be ceded come sunrise—the odds are just as good if not better that it was Asmodeus’ pact that forced him back down. Meaning his friend’s attempt to free him was doomed to fail all along and Zerxus’ faith had no sway either way.

And according to Matt Mercer, he thinks that Zerxus is still shackled to Asmodeus’ side all these centuries later, the core of his good soul still burning inside, never extinguished, and so he is left perpetually suffering as the demonic aide of the Lord of the Hells. Always kept close so that Asmodeus can enjoy his misery.

(Which I personally find much more horrible-intriguing than the smirking card-playing animated Vox Machina version. Likewise for the costume choice.)

(But I digress.)

Zerxus Ilerez followed the path of good intentions all the way to Hell, saw the bridge detonated behind him, and promptly got branded as the Devil’s personal property until some indistinct point in the future when his astral-stranded husband—who may or may not even be alive after all this time—finds a way to bring him home. This, when out of all the main characters we meet in ExU Calamity, he is the only one of the cast who starts the story in a bad place and ends in an exponentially worse one, all because he reached out to help and redeem a fiend he thought had been wronged and (ha ha) demonized by the victorious gods. His last interaction with his son is one of agonized departure and the last words he hears from his husband is a fleeting promise of rescue that, centuries on, has still not come.

Meanwhile, regardless of their levels of corruption or pride, all of his friends were…actually doing pretty great by the time of the Calamity. All of them. They’re all wealthy, powerful, indulging in their own goals and vices of varied degrees. True, they had their own personal non-literal demons to deal with, but overall? They were hot shit and knew it. And while they all made their heroic last stands at the end, with the last and most virtuous friend standing able to escape back to his family in time, they lived the bulk of their lives successful and engaged and thriving in their lives pre-sacrifice in the final battle.

The best point of Zerxus’ life had already come and gone. A time of love and joy distant from him by years, well before Asmodeus started drawing him in.

And now here he is.

Potentially forever.

Fuck.   

[borgialucrezia]

the borgias propaganda i'm not falling for:

- lucrezia isn't a sapphic

- cesare is the hero of the show (he may appear to care deeply about protecting his family but he's also self-serving and manipulative. his vanity and jealousy drive him to act maliciously and disruptively within the family)

- cesare is in love with micheletto (he was just a useful tool and it's actually the other way around + the homoerotic tension cesare has with his brother whom he hates is far more intense)

- borgia: apocalypse aka season 4 is bad writing (it was still just an uncooked script but it had great potential)

- cesare/lucrezia/micheletto as an ot3 instead of the unholy incestuous borgia siblings trio of cesare/lucrezia/juan (cesare is into sibcest regardless sorry + they're so hot they gotta keep it in the family <3)

- juan is a villain (he has good intentions but he's heavily flawed and uses misguided and twisted methods to protect his family, unable to get things right and everything he does gets lost in the general havoc)

- hating juan for killing paolo (not only juan became so interesting after it but being driven by misguided beliefs of duty and incestuous psychosexual jealousy for his sister is massively sexy and compelling + seeing him crash out over, to quote him, his "angelic sister" hating him was chef's kiss)

- juan wasn't lustful toward lucrezia and was jealous of cesare/lucrezia's relationship (he actually wanted to be sandwiched between them and was heartbroken that he wasn't part of their relationship)

- fully blaming rodrigo for cesare's descent into villainy (he plays a part in it by overlooking cesare's desires and enabling juan by keeping him as gonfaloniere, but cesare has always had a natural darkness and sinisterness in him and it makes it so easy for him to let it out without internal conflict or remorse)

- juan is rodrigo's favorite son (he's the weakest and most insecure among his siblings which is why his father reaches out to him while also reliving his youth through him. meanwhile cesare is not only the son his father truly trusts and confides in but also the true heir who was forgiven for killing juan and rewarded with everything he desired)

[hanasnx]

thank goddd ive been blocking people even more liberally than i had before. tag cloggers, idea stealers, friends of ppl i think shouldn’t be on tumblr, anything that remotely annoys me or pisses me off. god it’s fantastic. this is what stopping and smelling the roses is like

[thesassymarquess]

This is interesting coming from a post-expansion perspective. I do feel Space Age in some ways tried to approach this problem, and succeeded in some ways. Ultimately someone else pointed out very well that this isn’t a problem inherent to Factorio. It’s a problem that stems from how humans approach problem solving as a whole. We like to find one-size fits all solutions that we can apply over and over again. Ultimately what the expansion tried to do to solve this problem was to introduce new mechanics to act as new constraints. Spoilage is a constraint, constraining your throughput by time. So is Aquilo’s increase power draw for bots. Likewise Fulgora’s inverted crafting tree and Vulcanus’ lava do force you to rethink how you approach certain problems and they don’t reward a one-size fits all solution. Sure, a bot base WILL WORK for EVERY planet, but…

Spoilage will cause a lot of unnecessary bot work, and bots do NOT take freshness into account, which I think is intentional. Aquilo requires a lot of bots to get anything done in a timely fashion and they drain power like crazy too. Fulgora’s biproducts likewise introduce more jobs for bots. They end up becoming very unscalable on 3 of the worlds, and I think that’s a good thing. Ultimately it won’t stop you from just building huge bot bases on them, but it definitely works to discourage that. Each planet tends to have different optimal solutions, and we’re currently in a time where we’re free to explore those. Admittedly there’s still some of the old problem as the “LDS Shuffle” presents a new endgame homogeneity for solving the Legendary production problem, but something like it would evolve regardless. I admit… I also turned around and went to modded playthroughs after finishing the vanilla game for similar reasons. And I still am doing that, but now it’s less of to explore the fun of the base game, and more to explore new mechanics because I like seeing how people try to create their own challenges for mods. Like I’ve been meaning to do a playthrough of Ultracube myself

there's something kind of amazing about this. that you can take an obviously terrible design approach on purpose as a challenge and then on some level it turns out there's still a one-size-fits-all solution that is... maybe not 'optimal', who knows, but, highly optimised? the whole factory is in large part the same basic building block stamped one time after another. the design constraint prevents the already-existing standard solutions from working but then you find there's a new kind of standard solution, even more uniform.

and on some level you'd think that was an artefact of this run, but no. i've seen this guy's other challenge runs, like the beltless one and the all-burner one. they all end up with 'yeah turns out there's a standard solution i am just going to keep implementing over and over'.

i am reminded of what @definitelynotplanetfall was saying about how the main bus architecture and more broadly the factorio 'meta' of standard arrays for doing things means it's very easy to just take The One Tool That Solves The Problem and implement it and it feels... a bit like drudgery? idk i don't want to put words in their mouth that's the impression i got from what they were saying. and like at the time i pushed back a little because, like, i am having fun playing.

which i am, but. idk. there's something there. it seems easy sometimes to take the tools that simplify your life in this game a little too far and simplify the fun away. but at the same time it's also the case that i hate it when i grow used to a tool and it goes away, like when i started a vanilla playthrough for reasons a while back and noticed how much lacking simple things like module inserter and autodeconstruct was annoying me.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

getting back into the untamed and i had a thought. / follow for more yllz babygirlism

[bunabi]

People like to pretend that only bigots think DATV is markedly different in focus + tone from the previous games and they REALLY like to be condescending to queer + Black + brown people who think that. Even tho it’s self-evident and is also not a unilateral bad thing or an insult. DATV is the only game my friend is okay with her son playing, bc it’s a game that doesn’t have overtly misogynist characters/sections. It’s a game that could have had a Teen rating, that has many queer and trans characters in it, and that’s a positive thing for many people! I dunno why it’s verboten to some people who like the game to just admit that!

It's unfortunate things turned out this way. The conversation has been totally polluted by people who have since moved on to hating Avowed lol.

Veilguard is a nice entry point. Its griffon hugs + pet-able cats + kinder companions + clearly defined lines between right and wrong absolutely make it a lot more palatable. Its a very streamlined and comfy experience with some of that classic Bioware DNA threaded throughout. It's not what I personally wanted but it's fine!

I think we should protect and uplift inclusive media, but critique should always be allowed. The quality of representation is just as important as the quantity.

[ohnoitsz1m]

Uhh post canon Barney

Man who has not had a break since the rescas and refuses to start now. Alyx and Gordon are hiding his gear as we speak while Kleiner distracts him.

I was sposed to do Alyx too but I blinked and it was 3 am so. Next time

Oh also I forgot to make a note but he does carry a sidearm

[changetenacity]

The truth of the matter was, regardless of the angle we went, Erin had this instinct feeling she was going to be left in the crosshairs. She had her team in Chicago, the place she grew up, she was shielded from the drugs that addiction her mother held. Because of Voight so despite his own dirty work she felt sick to her stomach at the idea of turning on him. And Jay he wore this moral compass. He was loyal, he was out of the crossfire yet all attention was being drawn onto him. Erin couldn’t help but feel as if it was her care, her love for her ex partner that had him placed in this position. 

She trusted Jay, and she picked up on the purpose he was gonna try to find an answer on her boss, on her dirty past and left Erin feeling like no matter how this ended she’d be out in the cold. “ Okay, Just let me know.” A promise in her tone because she’d go to bat for Jay, she knew him his morals, his loyalty and she had once let him down. And now it was her turn to return that favor; to be the one he was able to count on. All that to say she sucked in a breath now. As she watched him peel down the street; and she turned on her heal to head back inside. Of course as she reached the gates of the intelligence unit, Adam and Kim both raised brows to ask where Jay was. “ He’s looking into something, he hasn’t gone far.” Because Erin wanted to believe he was incapable of dipping off that deep end. He was loyal, he had good intentions. 

As she walked to the back interrogation rooms Kate was standing with her arms crossed as if she was trying to intimidate her. “ He’s innocent, but please do tell me what the game is here..” It was the in, to be involved she just hoped it didn’t hurt her old team in that process.

Continued

@okayhookedonphonics

Choices in life follow us. Erin had always done what she felt was right for her. She had always wanted to protect herself; it was the survivial insticts in her. She didn’t have the best upbringing thanks to Bunny who had brought drugs into the house, she was addicted to drinking; all the triggers were present. I thought I was going to end up behind bars if it wasn’t for Voight who took me in. He helped make me the women I was today so taking on this burden the case I didn’t care lightly. I felt a heavy heart because I knew Voight and his tenacities, I knew what he was capable of; I watched him burry the guy that killed his son. I know the lengths he was willing to go to betray the rules, to go against the system. Did I know what i’d do if I found all the accusassions were true? No Because I had rebuilt my life when I left Chicago. I had a job I loved most days; working my way up the ladder. 

But when this case fell into my hands; I wasn’t on the case but I saw the names “ Roy,” Intelligence investigate, I was intriged, I felt that itch to get involved. I had used my knowledge, my history in chicago to get ahead, and now I was required to hand over answers, but did that go against my own morals? It might have me drawing a line but I pegged I’d cross that bridge when it came to it. As for Jay; he was the one I thought about. The repuercussion if he got caught in the crosshair, he was probably Voight’s right hand man, but I did doubt the chance Jay would be open with me. I wasn’t even gonna attempt to seek him out. Not after I ghosted him. After I had taken a job and left. He was someone I cared about; not only my partner but a man I loved. Jay made me feel safe, he was home to me. But I couldn’t ask him to sacerfice his career his home in Chicago for me. Not with how strained our relationship already felt at the time. 

But seeing him, how angry he was still. How hurt he was because of me, it made me feel sick to my stomach. I took each word like a gain of salt, I took each glance as if it didn’t affect me. But I was hurting myself because of how I treated him. I had regrets ones that surrounded him. But I had no right to reopen that wound, so when he left me at the bar I concerned our interaction done. I wasn’t going push; if we had to cross paths at the station we would, but I was going to give Jay the space he needed. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, I wanted to talk, I wanted to fight it out but I kept my tongue shut. 

The female intended to walk back to the hotel, one drink wouldn’t harm her. She wasn’t expected the ride she ended up taking, Jay’s truck his pride and joy of a truck, I didn’t know what more there was to say. I was here working on a case; attempting to help my old team in case they did end up involved in this mess, but I also wanted to see Jay; so yeah being in Chicago against all the rules I told myself when I left was thrown out the window. But I knew Jay wasn’t going to take my word of it; but honestly I didn’t blame in. Sitting in that seat eyes staring out the window, I didn’t know how I felt right now. 

“ I know, Okay.” Two words I uttered because what could I say? Jay wasn’t wrong he had no reason to trust me, and if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t be so trusting either to someone that had hurt me. So I just sat back until we inched closer to the curb where I could pull myself out of the car. Voight; now that was one conversation I could work myself through no fear. “ The thing is Voight even if he tries to bullshit me he can’t, so I’m sure it’ll be an interesting one.” There was a reason why I was staying at a hotel and not with Voight; we barely spoke, just the simple exchanges of calls to check in every few months. The tough of my hand on his knee I felt it that spark, a hidden smile pulled at my features as I reached for the handle slowly stepping out onto the pavement. Tilting my head back to give Jay one last look as if it was the last time. 

‘ Thanks for the ride, and It was good to see you Jay.” A real smile before the door closed. Ducking her head down to the pavements; Erin had walked the street to the sliding doors that allowed her inside, A bed; a nice place to stay; almost hidden from the rest of the world.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

mdzs tumblr post au but it’s just “what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament” (nightless city)

[more-than-a-princess]

He was right to be concerned: Sonia often didn't keep to her word when she insisted she'd stay within the castle walls, but that was only because she'd never see the world otherwise. In most instances, it wasn't the threat her parents and the royal council perceived it to be: just a different sort of life, full of people with different choices and different problems but nothing that automatically made them a threat. But the Witch Cult was something different, and she understood that, now more than ever, her safety needed to be guaranteed: hers and the entire Royal Family's.

"Yes, yes, I will stay true to my word," She assured him, swallowing her complaints as he lifted her into his arms again to take flight. Later, when all of this was done, they'd return to that discussion about boundaries and how it was demoralizing to be, as it was often called, 'princess-carried.' For now, she'd loop her arms around his neck and stay silent on the flight home, through the golden afternoon light as the sun began to set.

Literally and figuratively, once Reinhard had landed back in Novoselic Castle and set her down. "Yes, I understand," She replied, though she had no intention of doing so. Not with the way the guards stationed at the top of the towers muttered between one another: her absence had definitely been noticed, and not in a good way. Besides, she thought as he stepped back and away from her to begin his pursuit: the people of her nation needed him and his abilities far more than one singular princess did. "Good luck."

It wasn't as if his divine gifts would change the likely reckoning ahead. Once Reinhard was out of sight, Sonia exhaled deeply and turned to where the guards had parted, something they only did for authority. In this case, Gabriel, the head of the Royal Family's security. A man, if she had to guess, in his late forties or early fifties who was a bit of an oddity at court: whereas most Novosonians were pale-skinned with a variety of hair colors, his tone was distinctly tanned, with complimented his jet black hair and short beard. His father, Sonia knew, was Novosonian: his mother, however, hailed from a distant land. One with a coastline and a beach, two things Novoselic lacked.

He cleared his throat, the sword at his side swinging slightly in its sheath as he did so. "Welcome home, Your Royal Highness." A gentle tone but a steely gaze. Not as sharp as the blade he wielded when necessary: this was worry, not anger. And an eyebrow raise, as he looked her up and down. "New armor?"

"Gabriel," Sonia nodded, with less enthusiasm than she even showed Reinhard. She wouldn't glare, but she wouldn't be particularly pleased to see him. "Yes, though I'll ask you not to inquire as to how I obtained it."

"You realize that I will find out regardless?" He replied, stating the obvious before sighing. "Come, your mother is waiting in your rooms." Another statement of the obvious, though Sonia frowned anyway, her eyebrows knitting together in a combination of both irritation and exhaustion.

"Well, I would not wish to deprive you of the opportunity to uncover its origin yourself," She retorted, though the sullen tone of defeat wove its way through her words. "And of course she is. Lead the way, then?"

And he did, through the lesser-traveled spiral staircases often used by the staff until he reached the hallway to Sonia's apartments in the castle. Gabriel opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it, closing it instead. Even the small movement was audible, and Sonia didn't need to see him to know what he was currently wrestling with: did he give Princess Sonia advice, when she was not his child, like a father figure?

She didn't encourage it, anyway: she never did. Gabriel wasn't a bad person at heart, but he overstepped boundaries in the Royal Family, and she found it difficult to forgive. For now, he was doing his job at least as he pushed open the door to her rooms, announced her return, and stepped aside for Sonia to walk past.

"Oh for goodness sake, I am well-aware she's returned," Came the high-pitched voice of Queen Valentina of Novoselic. Dressed in sage green gown that had a tendency to blend into the silk upholstery throughout the Castle, she was as relaxed as Sonia would ever witness her being: in one of her plush chairs by the fireplace, decked out in no less than a pair of earrings, a necklace, a bracelet, and a hairclip encrusted in round peridot gemstones set in gold and tiny diamonds. Her hands were only mildly busy with her embroidery of a red Novosonian rose, her mind clearly occupied. Even moreso when she set the sewing project aside to stand and glare at her only child.

"Sonia."

Sonia couldn't stifle the small gulp of anxiety she had when being alone with her mother, particularly when she was upset with her. Which was often, ranging from the usual disappointment to whatever she was barely holding back now. A few inches taller than her daughter with all the beauty and pale blonde hair she'd passed down to her, it was Valentina's emerald eyes, colder and more piercing than Sonia's own blue, that tended to differentiate mother and daughter for everyone who saw them together.

"Mother," She replied, squaring her shoulders as she glanced up to meet her gaze. "I trust you have had a pleasant day with your embroidery?"

The wrong thing. For as eloquent as she was in front of the Royal Council, the court, her country's citizens, the same didn't apply to the Queen of Novoselic. Queen Valentina's retaliation was swift: a firm slap across her daughter's cheek, enough to make Sonia, in all of her fine armor, stumble slightly. Just as she'd done when she'd witnessed the scene of charred skeletons that had once belonged to her people. Unlike the skeletons though, they didn't leave a red imprint on her skin nor did they launch into a tirade.

"What nerve you have, my child, to comment on something as innocuous as my embroidery when you had the foolish idea to leave Novoselic Castle once again, unofficially and unaccompanied, during a WAR!" She shouted. Her usual voice, pleasant and high and sweet, had the ability to turn cold and angry when she was around her own family. Sonia in particular when she acted out of turn, but the princess had been acquainted with it well before it was directed at her: it was the tone Queen Valentina took with King Alexandre more often than not behind closed doors, around members of staff sworn to secrecy. "More than once, I might add! I thought you would understand my unwillingness to grant you an audience yesterday would be enough to show my disappointment in this pitiful excuse I have for a crown princess, but no, Sonia. No, instead you decide to escape the guards again and place yourself in danger! On your own, you could have been kidnapped! You could have died!"

"But I wasn't alone!" Sonia blurted out. Her usual composure always seemed to evaporate in her mother's company. She'd never be the monarch and yet she still had a power over her daughter that Sonia still resented. "Well, yesterday I was until I managed to help free some of the trapped knights, but today I was with Sir Reinhard for the duration of my departure. You should have seen it, Mother: Murten is completely devastated, burned to the ground with the only survivors having mutated, turned into monsters that seek to ravage our lands! If we hadn't seen it firsthand today, our traveling party full of supplies and support would have made the journey with no one to save, and could have been further cornered by the Witch Cult to attack outright!"

"As if the loss of any of them matters," Queen Valentina gave a sigh of exasperation, using the same hand she'd struck Sonia with to rub her temples. "You matter, Sonia. If you had been killed, the order of succession then reverts to your Uncle Arthur, and then your cousins! Do you think Novoselic could survive him? You are unmarried and without an heir! At present, your greatest asset is your virginity and your beauty. Even if you weren't killed, what if you'd been burned yourself? Scarred? Assaulted? Do you not understand that this war will eventually end and we will need to hasten the husband hunting process for you? You are already twenty-two, and while the war has put the social season on pause, you are still getting far older than eligible consorts would prefer for the mother of their children!"

It was Sonia's turn to scoff: an eyeroll, she felt sure, would earn a slap to the untouched cheek. "Incredible," She replied in a huff. "That as the future leader of this country, my value for its citizens centers upon my appearance and my ability to make babies!" She didn't need to ask and her mother didn't need to confirm it: if she'd been born a boy, both the pressures of beauty and the ability to bear an heir wouldn't be on her shoulders. Rather, her ability to lead a country and an army, to be both well-read and physically fit, to be charming and charismatic with a vision for the future.

Her mother's hand balled into a fist at her side, though whether it was from her daughter's insolence or directed towards the world they lived in, Sonia couldn't say. Still, she felt a little relief when the tension disappeared from her mother's hand: one slap, Queen Valentina had decided, was enough. "Well, your father will address that rogue knight of yours when he decides to show his face in court again," She declared, running a hand through her long hair. "Go clean yourself up: your dinner will be sent to your apartments again this evening. You are not to go anywhere, not even the library." The only thing that could cut Sonia deeper than she'd already been as she opened her mouth to protest, though Gabriel had beaten her to it.

"Your Majesty-" He'd begun without truly thinking, soft, in an accent that was distinctly un-Novosonian. The sort of accent and dark gaze that when Queen Valentina met his eyes, her steely resolve began to crumble, looking at him with far more tenderness than she ever did her husband.

"Oh hell," It was Sonia's turn to glare. "Could you two not even wait until you've left my apartments?" The only retort that wouldn't earn her a strike, she knew: everyone in Novoselic Castle was guilty of something. Sonia's guilt was a particular defiance of keeping within the Castle walls, but she felt her mother's was far more damning.

At least they'd soon left. To do what, Sonia didn't want to imagine, though she had a good idea. She had half a mind to snap at the next knock at her door but held her tongue when Cecily entered with a brief curtsy, a look of recognition on your face. "Your Highness, welcome home," She greeted Sonia solemnly. "Shall I fetch the ice?"

Sonia nodded, half in the process of tugging on a clean gown, this one in a shade of teal blue. Cecily moved quickly to do up the buttons and laces in the back with nimble fingers before presumably seeking out the icebox in the kitchens. "Yes, Cecily, thank you: it may be the only thing that'll get the swelling under control."

Her lady's maid left with a brisk swishing of skirts, and only then did Sonia fall against her feather mattress, exhausted in more ways than one.

He paused, his chest rising and falling with the heavy breaths of a warrior who had fought a grueling battle. His eyes, though they remained stoic, held a flicker of pain that she understood all too well. The weight of his gaze bore down on her, and she knew he was contemplating her words. He had arrived too late to save this village, and the realization was a heavy burden to bear. That was the one thing he cannot do, he cannot save everyone, all of this skill, all of this power, everything that he has, and people still die, the title of the hero, was not one he would wish upon anyone at all, it has and always will be, like a curse that he has to carry with him, and try not to allow it to ever beat him down and cause him enough harm to truly crack his heart and make him begin to doubt the path he walks.

"Your Highness." He said finally, "it is not your place to be on the battlefield. Your role is to lead your people, to inspire them, and to ensure their safety from afar." His voice was firm, but not unkind. It was the voice of a man who knew the cost of war, who understood the gravity of his own power. "But, I’m concerned …" He continued, his expression softening slightly, but a promise from a princess, was something he could not ignore. “I will take you back right away, as long as you keep your word.” And he will move to the outskirts and check on other villages and towns.

He had done what needed to be done here, there was nothing else he could do, he didn’t doubt her knights and those who take up sword and shield to protect the weak and the innocent within these lands, but these creatures, creations from the witch-cult, something that not many people get to see, and then live to speak about, they are dangerous, very dangerous, as he would hold her for the moment.

"Your Highness, hold tight." His firm voice broke through her thoughts as they ascended once more, the village shrinking into the distance behind them. His eyes searched the horizon, as if seeking out the next chapter of the grim tale they were living. As he would cut across the skies themselves then, he had not accounted for this to happen, it was something he was not ready for, but without her with him, he could move faster, and cut loose a little bit with his skills and deal with any more creatures that might be out there.

The journey back to Novoselic Castle was a silent one, the only sound being the distant whispers of the wind and the occasional crackle of magic in the air. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret, looking back at the smoldering ruins of Murten. A village, just erased from the land, the people killed and those not, turned into monsters, longing for death. There was no cure, none. There was no way to break the curse on them, he had no choice, he had to end there suffering.

As they approached, the castle grew from a distant silhouette to a sprawling bastion of stone and steel, gleaming in the weakening light of the day. He brought them down with a gentle thud on the castle's ramparts, his steps sure and swift even as they touched the ground. The guards on the walls looked up, a mix of shock and awe on their faces as the legendary Sword Saint descended from the clouds with the princess in tow as he stepped back and would bow to her.

“If anything is wrong, just say my name and I will come back.” As he would bow, and then turn slightly, his coat blowing up behind him as he jumped .. and then he was gone instantly.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Your theories are more thought out than the author's own

If ya talking about rahafwabas, then not really. My theories are formed on what’s already there, even if it may have been unintentional. Rahafwabas was like, what? a teen?, who was clearly still learning how to speak English and wanted to make a go at creating an au/sans au like everyone else was at the time for a game they loved.

They didn’t expect killer to get so much attention, and people clearly seemed more focused back then on asking about shipping (such as with nightmare) and hating on killer or sending strange asks. It was enough to the point that rahafwabas had to clarify her choice to delete stuff about killer wasn’t because of anything or what anyone in the fandom did.

clearly rahafwabas had conflicted feelings about killer. i have the benefit of not having had created killer or having gained a massive following to learn more about a character/story that belongs to me (aka rahafwabas seemed hesitant to fully commit to or correct anyone about anything with killer—what isn’t correct or what is, to discourage any shipping, things like that—out of either fear of backlash or not wanting to ruin peoples fun. it appears to have been stressful for her) im just using what his actual creator laid down, or what remains of the flooring, and building up.

[microknifeyuri]

i think that the major misinterpretation that people have with taco is that she didn't get attached to mic because of her sad face in the end wanted to show regret because "she hurted her friend". like. no, she wasn't sad because she regretted what she did. she was sad because she's alone again, but she knows very well at the end that she had it coming. the reason as to why taco was so desperate of wanting mic to tell her that she did gain something is because. she SAW pickle in mic, but of course their situation is very different. "Oh but Taco couldn't have done what she did to Mic to Pickle, Mic was fully aware" but she did do that. Mic herself says it. That is pretty much what II is telling you. Taco isn't a good friend, and is not exactly a good person either. Mic was aware that Taco was/is a bad person, but Mic's nature makes her believe in whoever acknowledges her. Taco made Mic feel like she needed her, just the way she made Pickle feel back in s1.

she didn't really change thanks to mic. her faces of "regret" aren't her actually lamenting all of the stuff she did to microphone, but rather just her realizing that she proved what everyone said about her as a result. i will give it to that she might've tried to change, but not because of mic. she wanted to win the prize so she could prove others wrong on her being a loser and a coward, by being a loser and a coward. if anything, mic made her realize that she hasn't changed. she pretty much just ruined everything for everyone who saw her as a friend, and for herself.

taco's whole arc is constantly just downgraded to questionable takes and listen. i do agree that she is heavily flawed as a character. she is morally gray, but ii doesn't portray her as a good person with good intentions, nor she should be really be treated as if she was. neither she had those good intentions with mic at all, i mean, their "friendship" pretty much started because of taco wanting the prize money, taking a part of microphone's prize if she made mic won, you know, an offer. she would get the prize and mic would get recognition. but everyone seems to forget that probably, the main reason as to why she's doing all of this, is because she does regret how she acted on s1. she doesn't exactly regret doing all of that to microphone, and even if she does, it's for the wrong reasons. (that's because she did the exact same thing to you know, pickle, her once best friend, the only person she truly ever cared about)

people do tend to forget that taco keeps sending letters to pickle, and that's often just used for pickle angst and making it his only character trait, but. it's not that. it's the fact that taco keeps on writing those letters, despite fully knowing that she did hurt pickle because of her actions. taco's biggest flaw is that she can't accept that she has ruined everything and wants so desperately to be back on pickle's life because she ended up caring about him deeply as a person. as a friend. but she was never there at all, either.

taco can't seem to understand that she has hurted people badly. sure, she seemed like a "friend" to microphone, and you can argue whatever you want but a fact is that taco IS smart, and she knew that the only way to possibly keep mic by her side is pretending to want to be better, you know, the same way she pretended to be just a odd fella so pickle and her could remain together and have an advance at the game. she played with both of them. because both pickle and mic believed in her but were just used by her for the game.

however, taco does seem to regret the way everything went during-post s1. you can see how she yearns for another chance and is saddened about not getting it, but that's not only for comedic purposes, but that's because the writing is telling you that she won't get a second chance. at least not here.

what i want people to understand is that, yes, taco is a complex character, however trying to sugarcoat what she did is pretty much missing the point of her writing as a whole. she isn't a good person neither was she a good friend. she hasn't grown because she was never able to let go of something that she thinks that she can fix with some words and a prize. she thinks that she can still fix her friendship with pickle, she thinks that she can clear her name (even if she was the one who tainted it), but she only ended up proving knife right. she proved everyone right. she hasn't changed. a morally gray character is that. they're not exactly fully bad or fully good, but it's taco's actions that speak a lot. words are cheap, and taco's title is "The Liar", and that says a lot, because she kept on lying to microphone and to pickle on both of their games. she won't heal unless she lets go.

and i want to be clear here: i do think that taco can go through redemption. i do think that taco can become a better person, but not in the way people portray her to do so. because it just pretty much goes against what her arc has settled in for us, and the other arcs that were involved in hers as well.

taco's arc is meant to be somewhat a parallel with nickel's in a way. hell, even with knife's arc if anything. she treats knife as a simple bully, but when she saw that he became smarter and way more emotionally aware than what she had expected, she felt attacked by that, because he was stable. he became a better person and he was rubbing that on her, and it made her feelings of anger way worse regarding him, but it is true. knife is pretty much everything that taco wants to be, but here's the thing that made them so different:

knife stayed. taco didn't stay.

knife is accepted by everyone in the hotel because meanwhile he hasn't explicitly said that he had a change of heart, he has shown it through actions and a big difference too is that he was there for pickle, even if they weren't close in s1, and taco is on the woods because deep down she is aware that she can't go back. not if she doesn't have something to offer as an direct apology, but here's the problem. whether or not she got the prize, she still wouldn't get forgiven by anyone due to what she said that day.

again. her problem is not being able to let go and to accept when she has messed up badly. she has been lying to everyone but she has also been lying to herself as a whole. she can't keep on doing this because it's just hurting everyone and herself. keeping grudges and holding onto past friendships that were doomed to fall is just hurting her. she is not on the state to keep on trying, she wasn't at all ever.

taco's arc most likely will have closure on a way that fits her character, and i feel like that would be with her letting go of inanimate insanity as a whole and of what she can't fix anymore. her trying to find herself after years of lying to everyone and to herself. she's not a good person. but she can become one. only if she knows what she did was wrong and that her second chance isn't there, and never will be, and if she recognizes that meanwhile she did that damage, she can still become a better person. just not there.

pickle and mic don't owe her anything, especially pickle. taco does owe them an apology, but they won't accept that. the least she could do is to accept their wishes, understand that she needs to leave them and grow to be a better person. maybe, if she does that, she would actually heal.

she doesn't need anyone to fix her. she needs to fix herself.