#regardless of ship choices

[five-flavor-soup]

This is technically in response/as an addition to a post on the supposed ‘double standard’ in the fandom between Zuko and Jet as Katara’s love interests, but it’s been so long since it was posted and I figured the OP would be entirely uninterested in my word vomit, especially after like one and half years—so, separate post. I added a link for those interested. There's a cut because this got quite long lmao.

In short, the post supposes the argument that though Jet would’ve made Katara kill people (something Zuko very much Did Not Do, no matter what you think about The Southern Raiders), he cleaned up his act after this. Zuko, on the other hand, did lots of Really Bad Things to Katara & Co. with far more frequency than Jet did and got redeemed after a multitude of episodes doing Various Things Moste Evile. To then slap Jet with The Toxic Ex-label and see Zuko as the ‘healthier’ and ‘better’ option creates a Double Standard(™) within the fandom, which is supposedly bad and not an arguably incorrect reading. 

But the differences in fandom perception between Jet and Zuko as Love Interests for Katara (one of which canonically, and the other potentially and apparently talked about in the writer’s room) are easily explained, as can the Supposed Double Standard—just by thinking about it from Katara’s viewpoint, or even the audience’s. Because, well, the worst things Jet ‘almost’ ended up doing didn’t happen because of outside interference only. 

That’s the important bit here. He 100% would’ve drowned an entire village just to get rid of a handful of Fire Nation soldiers, had Sokka not managed to evacuate everybody. He 100% would’ve grievously injured two people who, as far as Jet and everybody else were aware, were refugees who might not even be firebenders — considering nobody else saw Iroh heat up his tea, he could’ve been wrong — in an attempt to prove his own hunch. Had the guards not been there, had Zuko not been able to fight back with swords, Jet would’ve genuinely attempted to wound them for as much as a puff of smoke. And Jet consistently involves bystanders (innocent or not) in his desperate quest to harm and defeat the Fire Nation: the Gaang (and particularly Katara, through explicitly manipulative means) and the villagers in Jet; Zuko, Iroh, and the people in the teashop in City of Walls and Secrets. Additionally, we don’t see more violence from him because he’s not a main character like Zuko is—though it’s implied that Jet beats up villagers who are supposedly in cahoots with the Fire Nation often, only agreeing to turn over a new leaf when he, Smellerbee, and Longshot decide to move to Ba Sing Se. 

Zuko explicitly and frequently doesn’t harm people: that, or it isn’t important to the plot. He doesn’t burn down the village on Kyoshi, he literally only manages to lightly singe it. He threatens people with violence frequently but never actually goes in for the kill. I’d argue that the most explicitly violent thing he does in Book 1 is breaking Aang out of the Pouhai Stronghold—for his own ends obviously, but if it’s spelled like treason and sounds like treason, it’s probably treason. When he thinks of robbing the pregnant couple while he’s on the run, he stops himself of his own volition; when he considers using Appa to catch Aang (this was a point made against Zuko in the post), he’s unaware of what Appa’s been through prior to that point and sees him as no more than an animal used for travel, much like the ostrich horse he stole earlier in the season. 

Zuko’s schtick throughout Book 1 and 2 is that he doesn’t want to think of the consequences of his actions. His plans are never fully complete. He doesn’t think of how he’s going to get a chained, notoriously slippery little eel of an Avatar to the Fire Nation, and he doesn’t think about what would happen to twelve-year-old Aang after they got there—which is horrible of him, but it also shows an odd, ignorant kind of innocence that you’d associate with a kid who’s got a hard time telling right from wrong. Like, I love Zuko dearly, adore him even, but kiddo doesn’t think ahead until the Book 2 finale and even that’s debatable. He’ll eventually start thinking ahead a little bit but for the most part, he doesn’t. Not saying that takes away responsibility, because it absolutely doesn’t, but it is telling of Zuko’s character: he’s an ‘act first, think later’-kind of guy, all ‘fuck around; find out; maybe success’. His sole goal throughout Book 1 and 2 is going home, without even thinking on how to get there beyond like, Avatar in my custody => back in Fire Nation with Avatar => dad loves me again. And he says that his only intention is to go home too, in Ep 2 of Book 1:

Aang: If I go with you, [He holds his staff in front of him as an offer, making sure Zuko understands that he does not wish to continue fighting.] will you promise to leave everyone alone? [The camera cuts to a side-view of the area, Zuko's men still surrounding him, spears poised. After a brief moment of hesitation, Zuko erects himself and nods in agreement. Aang is apprehended by Zuko's men, who take his staff . . . ] Zuko: [Boarding the ship up the walkway. Determined.] Head a course for the Fire Nation. I'm going home.

(Added emphasis for my point)

Zuko is not the Big Bad. He’s not The Largest Threat. He never is. In Book 1 it’s Zhao, in Book 2 it’s Azula, and in Book 3 it’s Ozai. Zuko is a consistent threat, yes, but not a particularly large one no matter how good of a fighter he is. Because he’s presented to us as a disastrously hurt and traumatised little brat who we, the audience, are supposed to feel sorry for, and slowly grow fond of. Because we learn in The Storm that the notion of “caring for others is weak” has literally been branded into him. Because he keeps getting back up to fight, but consistently holds back. We are shown that he knows, on some level, that what he’s doing is wrong: the text suggests that Zuko is actively suppressing his morals. And by the time Zuko hires an assassin to ensure the Avatar is dead, we know that Zuko is incredibly unhappy with his choice(s) and is desperate to be safe; that he’s uncomfortable but wants to be comfortable; that he’s incorrect about the source of his fear while he’s back in the palace. The audience is shown this explicitly. 

By contrast, we’re shown that Jet is fully aware that those villagers will die. He’s fully aware that, if he manages to prove the two refugees are firebenders, they’ll be arrested and probably mutilated (if the hand-crushing is any indication). I love Jet and his character, but he’s supposed to be the example of poisoning yourself with your hatred, anger, and hurt. He’s revenge that goes too far, because he doesn’t allow himself closure. He knows the consequences and isn’t shown to care for them, as long as his goal is furthered.

And there is the small, but significant, difference between the two characters: Zuko initially just wants to capture the Avatar, is purposefully remaining unaware of what will happen when he does so, and is clearly shown to change, while Jet just wants to punish firebenders and is very aware of what will be necessary for him to do so, with a handful of lines of how he ‘stopped being like that’. And honestly, Jet is far more mature than Zuko is for quite some time, regarding the violence of war—basically as mature as Zuko eventually becomes at the tail-end of his redemption arc. But Zuko’s maturity is at that point healthier, because he doesn’t want to genuinely do harm. 

In regards to their separate relationships with Katara, there’s these fantastic points that @sokkastyles made in reply to the post:

The fact that Zuko actually did change and Katara actually forgave him makes ALL the difference. [ . . . ] The thing about Jet is how manipulative he was with Katara. He not only almost made her kill innocents, but he lied to her about the man he attacked having a knife when he was called out, so that Katara would see her as righteous. Someone who is willing to lie in order to make themselves seem good and someone who says they are going to change but then does the same things doesn’t have a good track record, and that’s a more troubling relationship dynamic than someone who acts as an upfront enemy but then sincerely changes.

And: 

I do think it makes sense to focus on manipulation being worse than being a cartoon villain when we're talking about personal relationships. I think many people can relate to having someone like Jet in their lives who seems nice but who lies and manipulates to justify their own bad behavior despite repeatedly claiming that they will change. Not that many people will experience being tied to a tree by someone who wants you to tell them where the Avatar is, and it is completely reasonable for people to be more forgivable of things Zuko did as a villain than things Jet did to Katara when he claimed to be a friend.

I actually don’t have anything to add to this, lol. It’s succinct and well-worded.

Lastly, in addition the relatability and the relationships being different (the manipulative, emotionally hurt, and self-proclaimed anti-hero versus the initially childish, explicitly confused and desperate cartoon villain, plus the girl they hurt horribly), there’s also the problem of Jet not being a main character. Jet is a relatively well-written side character, whilst Zuko is very quickly established as a main-ish character with his own POV (as the writers decided during the conceptualisation that he’d be joining Team Avatar eventually). Zuko’s troubling, self-destructive nature that has been forced upon him and his Tragic Childhood is shown in high definition. The audience is supposed to eventually be okay with Zuko and hopefully like him, slowly adding puzzle pieces to complete the picture of a horrific earlier youth and treatment by nearly everybody he knows except Iroh. Something like this isn’t necessary with Jet, not just because he was already incredibly likeable and understandable from his introduction and onwards, but also because he’s neither a villain nor a main character. 

There’s multiple reasons as to why Zuko is often seen as the ‘better’ option, just like there are multiple reasons why Jet and Zuko are compared so frequently—they’re both traumatised teenage boys who ‘rebel’ to get some semblance of control back, but we see Zuko change into a kid anyone would be a little bit proud and fond of and that doesn’t happen with Jet. Double standard or not, Zuko and Jet are different characters who the writers also treated very differently, on purpose. It makes sense to me that the audience would think Zutara is the ‘less bad’ or far better option. We know far more about Zuko than we know about Jet; and Jet’s redemption arc, if we can even call it that, halts permanently when Zuko’s is reaching the height it for him to go into a freefall, ultimately culminating in a genuine redemption. We, the audience, know this. So does Katara.

[yanderemeganekko]

"Thistle is 15" "Thistle is 1000 years old" "Thistle is a child" "Thistle was 40/60/80/100 at the point where he" shut up shut up shut up elves don't mature the exact same as humans do and he has no confirmed canon human age plus people can be immature at literally any age especially after being forced to shoulder insane responsibilities from a young age just let people do what they want. We're not doing this to the Dungeon Meshi fandom ffs.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

sometimes when I see killermare (usually fanon) i have to remind myself that it’s fictional and interpretations and blah blah blah

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

oh! theres actually something thats been going around on bsd twitter that rimbaud and verlaine were, in a way, a generation of soukoku themselves? unofficially? and i think it makes sense! theres also those little parallels between rimbaud and dazai believing in verlaine and chuuyas humanity....the meta sense where one has a lighter hair color and the other dark....etc etc..i really wished we could've seen rimbaud and verlaine more as a duo, and what kind of dynamic they have back then.

Oh yeah there’s definitely parallels! What’s neat though is that both Dazai and Chuuya have commonalities with both Rimbaud and Verlaine.

Dazai - Rimbaud: dark hair, polite, logical and detached except with specific people who they intensely care for, grows darker from extended time spent in the dark, thinks the world of their respective partnerships and always see their partner as human

Dazai - Verlaine: nihilistic worldview, think they should not have been born, feel inherently different and separate from humanity, feel like a cursed/unholy existence and think negatively of themselves (which unfortunately enables them to be worse), decide to make their problems everyone else’s problems

Chuuya - Rimbaud: follow the commands of their organizations yet have more personally driven motivations, enjoy having a trusted other at their side, assert the importance of living - a refusal of their partner’s brand of defeated nihilism, see Verlaine as just like a human even though he’s a clone and empathize with him

Chuuya - Verlaine: lighter hair, same ability, similar appearance, similar backstory, never stops fighting, destructive with the wish to burn everything down (though Chuuya fights this), cocky and flaunts their strength (the pear scene with N) but this strength also makes them feel outcasted, deeply deeply lonely

These are just off the top of my head so I’m sure there’s more if you really go through the text (and perhaps I also misspoke on some of these), but there’s a lot there already. It seems pretty deliberate, from an author’s standpoint.

The thing that Rimbaud and Verlaine didn’t have was that mutual unshakeable trust that makes Soukoku so powerful. Rimbaud trusted Verlaine, but Verlaine was resentful, and that destroyed them. And that’s kind of why I’d like to see at least one of their missions together - because I bet you that would show. What would that look like? Both occupying similar positions? Lack of communication? One of them deviates without warning but “it’s fine because it all worked out”? Really neat to think about.

[coulsonlives]

"DNI if you support proship."

Fam, I don't think you know what that word means. 😭

[icybreaths]

//

[multishipper-baby]

I randomly stumbled across a Fox/Cami post on Instagram and was very curious but then it ended up being Fonnie and now I'm even more curious about what the idea was.

[gizdathemxel]

if reading the queering the map post where a Palestinian man is talking about his lover who he wishes he could’ve said I love you to before he died and ending the message with to youssef I will kiss you in heaven doesn’t break you and convince you that Palestinians are the real victims idk what will

[dootznbootz]

You know, most "fans" of Penelope usually aren't fans of Odysseus in solidarity with her. Have fun with your toxic unfaithful ship I guess. ✌

ANON!!! NO!!! ANON! YOU'RE TRYING TO GIRLBOSS HER AND NOT WANTING TO UNDERSTAND WHO AND WHAT PENELOPE WANTS! ANON! ANON! PENELOPE WANTS ODYSSEUS BACK IN HER ARMS!!! SHE MISSES AND LOVES HIM!!! ANON! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS HAD ANY CHOICE WITH THE GODDESSES!!! AS THOUGH HE DID NOT WEEP WHILE WITH THE GODDESSES! AS THOUGH HE DID NOT THINK OF PENELOPE EVERY DAY!!! ANON!!! EVEN THEN, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER HE EVEN HAD A CHOICE IN THE FIRST PLACE, PENELOPE CAN MAKE HER OWN CHOICES!!! AND HER CHOICE IS ODYSSEUS!!! ALWAYS WILL BE!!! JUST AS SHE IS HIS CHOICE ALWAYS!!! ANON! NO! THEY ARE LIKEMINDED AND BASICALLY SOULMATES!!! GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR ASS! ANON!!!

[the-original-skipps]

|| Yandere?Pirate!Aventurine x Captive!Reader Headcanons || Honkai Star Rail ||

ya'll how could I resist writing about this gorgeous man? ask box is open for simping for this man. also this isn’t rainbows and sunshine so I ask you to proceed with caution if not scroll away

CW: violence. evil doings (they’re pirates obv). slight sexual content. mentions of forced capivity. slight mentions of starvation. major yandereness.

pirate!aventurine who caught you trying to stow away on his ship. When he caught you, you thought he would have you killed but what he did next surprised you. He proposed a gamble for you to aim a gun towards him and if you managed to hit him, you'd go free and get his riches as a bonus. However, if you miss you'd become his servant. You thought he was insane because if he gets hit, he'd die. However, he did not give you much of a choice to refuse as he'd have you killed if you did.

pirate!aventurine who managed to win the gamble as the gun you fired missed its mark. You were reluctant but you tried your best to win, it was either him or you after all. Regardless, despite your denial, you lost fair and square - from then on you were his captive servant. 

pirate!aventurine who as soon as he won you, makes you wear a beautiful jeweled necklace resembling the colors of his eyes. As a symbol of ownership. Going as far to order you to never try to hide it or take it off. When in thought he tends to unconsciously play with the jewels, smiling to himself.

pirate!aventurine orders you to personally bring his food everyday - breakfast, lunch and dinner. On some days he's feeling playful - he'd force you to feed him. Always making sure to have you take the first bite in case you tried to poison him. He would even purposely deny you food on some days until you have no choice but to accept him feeding you.

pirate!aventurine has you sit on his lap while he works. Whether it be finding his next treasure location, a new town to raid and so on. He'd always have you on his lap, despite your deep reluctance and annoyance. Aventurine would have his arms wrapped around you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he reads or goes through any documents. He'd even ask for your opinion at times. Though when he's feeling mischievous, he'd let his hand rest on your thigh. Slowly hiking your dress up as he delights in your shivers as his hand caresses your bare skin - higher and higher.

pirate!aventurine who always has you follow him around as he attends to his duties on the ship. He constantly looks behind to make sure you're actually following and that you're not a step behind. He also likes to have a hand on your waist making you stand beside him as he talks to his crew. He likes showing you off to his crew - though make no mistake if they even eye you with the slightest hint of hunger. He'll make them wish they still had eyes.

pirate!aventurine likes to dress you up in the finest clothes. Since you refuse to wear dresses he stole from raiding a town, he opts to buy them instead. With his vast amount of riches, he has no trouble buying you multiple fancy dresses for you to wear. All in which he personally picks out. Forcing you to model each and every one of them - as he sits on his throne with a cup of wine in his hand. His eyes are feasting on your figure, especially where your skin is visible.

pirate!aventurine who likes to tease and rile you up because it's amusing to him. He’d even purposely leave a knife out in the open hoping you’d be brave enough to try and stab him. Which always fails as he easily subdues you, he just wants an excuse to punish you. Though he doesn’t dislike your resistance, makes it all the more fun for him to break you.

pirate!aventurine who forces you to watch him as he gets intimate with another woman or man. He deliberately looks your way to gauge your reaction, to see whether you feel disgusted or possibly even aroused. He could force you, but he much prefers to make you come to him on your own. He has all the time in the world, eventually you’d cave.

pirate!aventurine brings you around town when the ship docks. He knows you’re sick of being on the ship all the time. He likes to take you to hit up the town’s tavern for a good gamble. He’ll have you sitting on his laps as usual all dolled up, almost as an accessory to him. Not afraid to make you the prize to his opponents to up the stakes. He delights in the pleasure of seeing you panic, secretly hoping you’d cheer him on. However, try as they might they wouldn’t be able to win - he’ll make sure of it.

pirate!aventurine lets you roam the ship as you please. He doesn’t restrain you with chains and shackles. The countless eyes on this ship are already watching your every move. You’re free to entertain the idea of escaping, he welcomes it even. Because, ultimately he knows you’d never be able to escape even if you tried. 

“I gave you a chance at freedom, yet you blew it away! So don’t think I’m forcing you, you willingly agreed to this gamble yourself. So uphold your end of the bargain.”

lemme know if you guys want more!

[starsweeperskies]

.

[radiance1]

Danny:

Pariah Dark:

Fright Knight:

Danny: Look, I can explain-

Pariah Dark places a hand on Danny's shoulder, crouching down to his level (or as much as he can anyway) and giving the boy the proudest, most loving look he is able. "Son. I am so proud of you."

"Hah?" Danny asked, intelligently.

Fright Knight nodded. "I am as well." He even went as far as wiping an imaginary-no wait that's an actual tear. "It is just- It is so beautiful to see my nephew following in our footsteps." He sniffed, taking a handkerchief from... Somewhere, to further dab at his eyes.

"Hah??" Danny, once more, said intelligently.

"It is alright son." Pariah Dark continued, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You did extremely well. Never let another say you did not. I am sure Time would be most pleased as well."

"What the fu-" Danny began.

"Language." Came the instant reply from them both as Fright Knight casually bisected an alien.

"Funny cheese puffs are you guys talking about??" Danny very shamelessly changed his sentence and went with.

"You started a war-"

"And cultivated fear."

"-Were you unaware?"

Danny blinked. Once. Then twice.

"Nuh uh." He said maturely. "I didn't do shii-" Faced with the glares of two angry parental figures, he very carefully chose his next words. "Ship. I'm innocent."

"He's even denying responsibility." Fright Knight dabbed away a few more tears and sniffed. "Truly, he reminds me of when you were younger my king."

"Haha!" Pariah Dark laughed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Truly! A prince after my own core!" Pariah patted Danny on the head, ruffling his hair. "Yes, my little 'ling is as innocent as he appears." Pariah winked knowingly.

Danny has some choice words for who let him know how to do that.

"Now..." War rubbed his chin as he looked out over the amount of carnage taking place in the city below from the fight between the aliens and the League of Justice. "Fear, do you think they would oppose to us joining?"

"That would depend on which side we fight for." Fear inclined his head, kicking a corpse off the side of the building they stood on. "Though I would rather not have this planet destroyed as we have an arrangement later this week."

"Ah, with Kents, yes?" War chuckled, cracking his knuckles. "Up for a wager, Fear?"

"What kind?"

"Least kills has to attend with no food."

"Hey wait a minute-" Danny tried to interject.

"This is not within my favor." Fear said calmly. "But I shall take you up on this offer regardless, my king."

And just like that, they were off.

Danny stood there for a moment, questioning if he should really step in and try to stop them. What would the Justice League say when the Ancients of War and Fear join in on a totally out of the blue invasion that Danny totally didn't have a hand in. How would the GIW react to this?

Then Danny thought. 'Wait, I have nothing to do with this.' And then decided this... Isn't his problem.

Then went back to sleep.

[louisferrignojr]

i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.

but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.

using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?

say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.

and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?

and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.

at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.

but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.

anyway. just my two cents 🫶

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Decision (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which you find out why Halbrand has been distant despite the intimacy you shared in Númenor, and now it’s your turn to decide whether or not to follow him on the path ahead

Warning: angst, implied smut, reader isn’t plain evil but she’s not saying no to touching Sauron the darkness either

Note: sequel to Choice but what happens there is explained here too

If you still had doubts before, now you’re absolutely certain. Halbrand has been avoiding you on purpose ever since you’ve reached Eregion and his lance wound has been healed.

Your pride would like you to pretend that it doesn’t hurt, but you cannot deny the pang in your chest each time you catch his eye only for him to look away. Or when, on the rare occasion that you do speak these days, he finds a way to cut the conversation short. But what hurts the most is that you are unable to discern the reason why.

Sometimes, you remember the night of passion you had shared in Númenor, trying to recall if there had been any misinterpretation on your part. You had met him in the smithy after he had refused Galadriel’s request to follow you to Middle-Earth and claim the title she believed was his as king of the Southlanders. You had told him his past deeds were of no consequence to you, that you believed he was worthy of leading regardless of whether or not it was his birthright. He had asked you, repeatedly, whether you were certain you could disregard his past as he had made his desire for you known.

And you had returned it. You’d had your fill of one another right there, on a table, utterly unable to restrain yourselves until you might have reached a more appropriate place for such activities. To say it was pleasurable would be an understatement. What Halbrand lacked in familiarity of your body, he made up in enthusiasm for discovering it, and becoming acquainted with his had been equally delightful for you. There had been no grand declaration of love, no spoken promises—but there had been unmistakable sentiment shared between you, during the deed as well as after. You had gently aided one another in redressing yourselves, and parted with a lingering kiss and a cheeky grin from him whose memory still makes your heart flutter.

The following morning, you had sailed for Middle-Earth. Whether because of you or not, Halbrand had decided to make the journey after all, and that was all that mattered. And while your accommodations on the ship hardly allowed for privacy, you sought each other out more often than before, and spoke more freely. Although you shared few kisses, only in brief moments when you were away from prying eyes, and his past still remained much of a mystery to you, you figured it was simply not the right time or place for anything further.

The battlefield in the Southlands was even less ideal. The chaos unfolded quickly, a great eruption separated you, and you were only reunited with Halbrand at the survivors’ camp, where you’d found him wounded half to death by an enemy lance.

You had kissed him, then—when you were left alone in his tent, awaiting Galadriel to bring the horses that would take the three of you to Eregion, where his wound may be mended. You had found yourself pressing your lips to his with a different kind of urgency than before, struck by such powerful relief tears slipped from your eyes and fell onto his cheek as you pulled away.

“I thought you were dead,” you had whispered in anguish.

“I’ve been worse,” he had quipped, as if it were some kind of game. But this time, you had no witty comeback in return.

“No, Halbrand, I...” you’d said gravely, caressing his sweat-slicked cheek. “I realized, if that were the case... there were things I should have said to you—”

“Please,” he’d cut you off then, gently but decidedly pulling your hand away from his face. “Not yet.”

You had frowned, more than a little hurt by his dismissal, but didn’t insist. He was in a great deal of pain, and too exhausted to handle such a heavy conversation. You could understand that.

But once his wound had been healed, he only seemed less inclined to speak with you. In Eregion, there had been many occasions when he might have sought you out, visited your chamber. You could have, of course, visited his, but the few and brief interactions between you didn’t exactly encourage you to do so. He had begun to work with Celebrimbor, and whatever little time remained after their long hours together, he hardly ever chose to spend with you. You could tell he was in his element by Celebrimbor’s side, his eyes brightening beautifully with each new idea and small progress, yet a shadow passed over them when they met yours from across the forge room.

A week passed like this, then two—and you were beginning to question whether the thread of fate you’d once felt connecting you to him had been only a figment of your imagination after all.

It hurts. You do your best not to feel it. You know the few matches attempted between Elves and humans ended in loss and tragedy, but not from lack of care on the part of the lovers. If that is what you and Halbrand ever were.

Perhaps it is your pride that prevents you from confronting him yourself, or from revealing what is ailing you to anyone at all. On the few times Galadriel has attempted to broach the subject, you had insisted that there was nothing to discuss. Though with a look that told you she knew better, she had left you in peace. So, when a knock comes at the door of your chamber one late evening, you suspect it is her on the other side.

With a sigh, you go to greet her, but begin to speak even before the door is fully opened.

“Galadriel, I am quite tired—”

The words die in your throat—for it isn’t Galadriel at your door. It’s Halbrand.

“Might we speak?” he asks. As if it were perfectly natural. As if he has every right to be here. The first few days in Eregion, you would have been more than glad to receive him, had stared at door in anticipation of his visit, even. Now, your heart twists in your chest with rage, even as it aches at the sight of him.

“You avoid me like the plague for days on end,” you say harshly, “and now you wish to be allowed into my personal chamber at this late hour?”

He crosses his arms, nowhere near as repentant as he should be looking. In fact, a light smirk tugs at his mouth. “Surely my boldness does not come as a surprise to you.”

“Your boldness? No,” you retort. “Your lack of honor, however—that is both surprising and irritating. Not to mention disappointing. Should I continue?”

He sighs then, and uncrosses his arms to lean one hand against the doorframe, finally having the decency to look somewhat awkward as he surmises, “You are cross with me.”

“Do I not have cause to be?” You glance down the corridor to find it empty, but still lower your voice. “You bedded me—”

“It was a table, as I recall—”

“And now you mock me.”

You go to slam the door in his face.

“That was not my—” He hastily grabs the door, holding it open. “All right,” he relents, raising a hand in surrender. “All right. Forgive me.” This time, he is perfectly serious. You contemplate locking him out either way, but in the end resolve to make that decision based on what next comes out of his mouth. “I bedded you,” he admits, taking care to lower his voice as well, “then allowed acts of affection to pass between us, such as those between lovers. Yet my intentions went undeclared, and of late I have acted as though none of that ever happened. Indeed, I have not behaved as a... man of honor should. For that, I apologize. Truly.”

His gaze never leaves yours as he says it. There is no teasing lilt to his voice, no trace of playfulness or misdirection. If you are being honest with yourself, you believe him.

There is a part of you that still wants to give him a taste of his own medicine, turn him away at the moment he most wishes to be able to speak with you. But that would mean denying yourself the answers as well. So, with a sigh, you step out of the way in silent invitation. He gives you a slight, grateful smile as he takes it.

“I know what you did, Halbrand,” you say, shutting the door behind him once he is inside your chamber. “What I wish to know is why.”

“And I did wish to tell you,” he reassures you. “Only...”

It’s you who crosses your arms now, looking at him expectantly.

“It was for your sake that I have refrained from any further... closeness between us,” he goes on, somewhat hesitant. “I felt it would be unfair to receive your sincere confession when I was yet unable to make mine.”

“And why were you unable, pray tell?” you ask, skeptical. “Why is it now that you seek me out?”

When he next speaks, his voice is laced with frustration, as though it is only now seeping through after simmering for too long within him.

“Because with each glance cast my way, you have stripped me of the patience to deny us both of what we desire any longer, despite my reasons for doing so.” He steps closer to you, looking into your eyes intently. “You see, before I asked even more of you than what you had already granted me, I meant to prove myself to you. To show you, beyond doubt, that the purpose of my craft is not one of destruction, but of healing.”

“Speak plainly, Halbrand,” you urge impatiently. You cannot fathom where this train of thought leads. He takes a breath as though to make a grand confession, but what he says is, vexingly, nothing you haven’t heard before.

“I am not a king—”

“I told you, I don’t care—”

“...or a mortal,” he finishes.

That does work to silence you. Your brow knits, silently questioning what in the world he means by that. A grimness lurks in his eyes as he speaks, each word measured and heavy.

“I have been awake since before the breaking of the first silence. In that time, I’ve had many names.” After a pause, he adds with finality, “I am the one you call Sauron.”

You search his face for any sign that he is jesting. Lying. There is none. The silence stretches as his words sink in, and you finally understand what is happening.

Then, you do the only thing there is to do in such a predicament.

You laugh. Hand covering your mouth, belly shaking, you laugh in the face of Halbrand’s furrowed brow at your reaction.

“Oh, that is... pathetic. Truly,” you say as your mirthless laughter dies down, leaving behind nothing but the burning indignation in your chest. “I might have thought you brazen or uncouth, at times, but I never once took you for a coward, Halbrand. If all you wanted was a quick tumble in the sheets—or, to be accurate as you prefer, on a table—and nothing more, you can simply say you wish for me to leave you alone, instead of conjuring such a ridiculous excuse—”

He’s gone. Everything is gone—as if between blinks, you are no longer standing in your chamber, but in a different room altogether. Your mind is slow to catch up as panic grips you, eyes darting around your new surroundings. It’s a place you know well, one that has been at the forefront of your mind of late.

You are standing in the smithy in Númenor.

“I am no slave to such base urges,” Halbrand says, and you whip around, startled to find that he is suddenly beside you, drinking you in with his gaze in the very same hungered manner he had done the last time you were here. “If I feel desire, carnal or otherwise, it is because the object of it has truly, undeniably captivated me. So do not insult the intimacy we shared in this place by assuming it held no greater meaning.”

“End this,” you breathe out, too shaken to process his words. “End this, now!” you cry out.

He clenches his jaw, displeased—but in the next heartbeat, you are back in your chamber.

Your hand flies to your heaving chest as if that would tame your rampant heart. It’s as though you never left, and in truth, you suppose you didn’t. Halbrand is still standing before you.

But he is not Halbrand anymore. He never was.

“You...” you say, voice trembling as you stagger back until you bump into your writing table. The swirl of emotions within you is too great for you to even know where to begin. Your face twists in rage, even as your heart crumbles in pain. “You lied to me—”

“Lied to you? Not once,” Halbrand says in earnest, coming towards you with slow, careful steps. “I called myself a new name, that much is true, but I have had so many, given by others—why should one I give myself be of any less value?” You shake your head, open your mouth, but no words come out. You are glued on the spot, leaning back against the table for support as he stops at a reasonable distance, close enough to touch if you reach out but far enough that he is not crowding you.

“I told you I had done evil,” he goes on. “I asked you, over and over, whether you would have me regardless of the past, whatever that may be...” He brings a hand to his heart as he steps ever so slightly closer. “...and you accepted me as I was. As I am.”

He wears a soft smile as he says it, as if in awe that such a thing was true. And in truth... it is. You remember exactly what you had thought at the time. You knew he had suffered through a war, that the ‘evil’ of which he spoke must have meant some kind of death or betrayal. But over the years, through all the battles and the horrors you had endured yourself, those sins were part of your past as well. You wanted to believe they could be forgiven, that they had not been for nothing—and so you had forgiven his.

But you’d never imagined... You’d never suspected...

“Why me, then?” you ask quietly. In the end, those are the only words you find within yourself.

“Galadriel only asked me to fight at her side because she convinced herself I was the true king of the Southlands. But you...” Halbrand says, and you can tell when he means to reach out and touch you, but restrains himself. “You encouraged me to fulfill that role not because you believed it to be my birthright, but because you believed I was worthy of it, even if a lie was needed to unite the Southlanders. Because you know that what is right is not always what is considered good. Where others see black and white, you see the grey, and embrace it. There is light in you as well as darkness. Balance. That is what I seek for Middle-Earth as well. Harmony, perfection... lasting peace.”

You eye him warily. His words ring true within you, they resonate with parts of you which you rarely let show. Whether or not he means it when he says he wants peace, of one thing you are certain—he sees you.

“What you are crafting with Celebrimbor,” you ask, unable to withhold the curiosity he has sparked within you. “It’s meant to accomplish that? Peace?”

“It will,” he vows. But then his gaze shifts, uncertain. “Unless Celebrimbor learns of my identity, and refuses to proceed.”

“He surely would,” you agree wryly. “He would sooner let all of Elvendom abandon these shores forever than carry out the design of... one such as you.” You find yourself hesitating to call him by the name your people have given him. Somehow, despite everything, ‘the abhorred’ does not easily roll off your tongue when you look at him.

“That is why I meant to wait until the work was complete to reveal the truth to you, or to anyone else,” Halbrand confesses further. “But perhaps this is how I regain your trust—by leaving the fate of your own people in your hands, rather than decide it myself.”

His searing gaze, his words, the truth of what he is—it’s so much to take in all at once. You turn your back towards him, leaning against the table as you shut your eyes briefly so you can think.

“You would have me become a deceiver,” you say, staring outside your window at the lights of Eregion, “for the good of my people?”

There is a small silence, broken only by the sound of Halbrand’s soft steps towards you.

“The same as you once asked of me,” he reminds you. You feel how much closer he has come, enough that you feel the heat of his breath on your neck, yet you don’t feel compelled to move away. “The middle path between light and dark.” His fingers brush one of yours wrists, grazing your skin without wrapping around it. “I chose it,” he murmurs close to your ear. “Will you?”

Your gaze drifts to where he is touching you, and you remain staring as your heart rages in your chest.

The part of you that knows what is moral and good tells you to turn and run. To warn all Elves who cross your path that they have been deceived, that a great foe has been living amongst them in fair form, carrying out his plans unhindered.

But are those plans evil indeed, if they are meant to preserve the very light of the Elves? They would not even stop to consider such a question. His name alone would be too great a threat. It should, by all means, threaten you as well.

Yet his touch at your wrist does not feel threatening. Nor does his breath falling softly on the back of your neck. You’ve felt him close before in body as well as spirit, in ways that went beyond the words spoken or not between you, and you had never once sensed wrongness. Only a perfect, most fulfilling fit.

“If I do...” you ask quietly, feeling as though your world is tilting on its axis, “what happens then?”

He closes the last of the distance between you, and your eyes flutter shut as you allow him to press his front to your back. You hear his smile in his voice as he murmurs in your ear, “We end all wars.” The hand on your wrist slips downward to lace your fingers together, the other coming to rest on your waist. “We bring balance.” His lips brush your neck, and you tilt your head to grant him better access. “We heal Middle-Earth,” he vows as you shudder. “Together.”

His arm is coiling around your stomach, then, aiming to pull you more tightly against him—but you take a breath and turn around sharply to face him. There is desire in his eyes, the same kind that thrums beneath your skin. Still, you plant a hand on his chest to keep him at bay. Or to touch him. Both.

“You deceived me,” you say firmly. Regardless of what happens next, that is a grievance you still carry.

“I know,” Halbrand admits. “And I intend to make it up to you. Starting now...” His gaze drifts to your lips, voice lowering to a suggestive whisper, “...if you would allow it.”

You don’t think. You’ve done enough of that in your long life. It may be madness, but one thing is certain—for once, you decide to act upon what you feel.

So, you fist your hand in his shirt and pull him into a kiss, moaning softly as he grabs your waist to press you flush against him. You feel his deep satisfaction, mingled with relief in the way he greedily tastes your mouth once more. You only now realize how subdued his kisses after your night in the smithy had been. He has held himself back from you so as not to deceive you further, confessed his identity of his own free will. That counts for something, doesn’t it?

You’d like to think so, at the very least, as you swallow the groan he makes into your mouth. He hoists you up onto your table, and it feels as though you are back in the smithy again—not within an illusion this time, but in the urgency and abandon of your embrace, in the way you wrap your legs around him and the fervent sounds of desire you pant out into each other’s mouths.

It’s almost the same, but everything has changed.

“This is not an answer,” you breathe out as his lips release yours, only to trail a line of bone-melting kisses down your neck. Your words, however determined you mean for them to sound, are but a soft moan as you sink your fingers in his hair and hold him to you. “I am only... exploring my options.”

He hums, understanding but not entirely pleased—perhaps that is why he briefly catches the sensitive skin of your neck between his teeth, drawing a whimper from you with the pleasurable sting. When he lifts his head to meet your gaze, however, he seems anything but discouraged.

“Well, since tables are a trodden path...” he says, lips ghosting over yours, “let us explore the bed this time.”

Worrying less about what is good, and choosing what feels right, you make no protest as he carries you into that particular uncharted territory.

[bringthekaos]

I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them

It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.

Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.

First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.

Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.

Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.

Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.

Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.

Jayce.

Jayce.

Jayce.

I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!

And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:

GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.

And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”

And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.

There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)

Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.