#hella agree

[icybreaths]

//

[allthethoughtsandstuff]

yeah, this is arguably the funniest part of the book ngl

[hellagator]

Vince the scene Megaraptor!

[seiwas]

hello sel!!! hru doing??

The ask game is super fun! How about Gojo + vindictive.

I hope u hv had a lovely day 🫶

zuro anon

zuro anon hello!! thanks for sending in a prompt!! i'm doing good 🥺 spending this lil vacay at home, mostly 🥺 and happy to be back writing 🥺 i hope you have the loveliest weekend 💗

contains: non-canon, childhood enemies to lovers (ish), (modern) arranged marriage, reader wears a braid and dresses

gojo + vindictive

you hate gojo satoru. you have ever since you were 5.

he's a bully―a real cocky one at that, with no regard or remorse for how his actions affect those around him.

on the day before your 6th birthday, right as your parents gathered together for the annual countdown, he gobbled up the entire plate of your favorite milk cakes before you could even take a bite. this marked the start, the beginning of a vengeance stewing inside of you.

at the age of 8, when you first learned how to do your own braids, he would tug at them, pull them free and unravel all your hard work for the past hour. you used to chase him for it, yell "satoru!" with all the strength your little lungs could muster and he would merely laugh and run faster.

the name "satoru," you've learned, must be synonymous with "sabotage," because it's all he's ever done. he threw the flower geto suguru handpicked for you straight to the ground, and purposely splashed gutter water all over the white dress you intended to wear on your first date.

not to mention, he's always rubbed in the fact that he's better than you, at everything―dangled all his accomplishments in front of you as if he knew they were just centimeters out of reach.

gojo satoru is solely responsible for tainting your childhood memories a miserable cerulean blue.

so, when your parents sit you down one day and tell you that you'll have to marry him, you feel transported in that moment, to each and every instance gojo has ever wronged you. it flips through your mind like a montage of flashbacks in a movie.

it's both surprising and not. your families have always been partners, in everything―business, education, and now you guess, life as well. you hate gojo's guts but this creates an opportunity you don't think can result from anything else.

so, sure, you'll agree to the marriage―only to make his life a living hell.

"hello, fiancée," he greets you, for the first time since the agreement.

you don't do anything to hide your disgust, face scrunching up as you spit out, "shut up, satoru."

the wedding planning is horrendous―at least, you hope it is for him. you pick out every single cake flavor you know he hates and choose the brightest venue possible for the event. the lights you pick for the afterparty are strobe lights, and you make sure to do multiple test runs just to play with his eyes. it doesn't occur to you that the solution to his light sensitivity is simple: just a plain pair of shades.

you wear plumping lip gloss on your wedding day, just so his lips burn when you have to kiss him. but gojo is either extremely numb or just good at faking it, because all he does is grin as he whispers quietly before parting, "spicy."

in preparation for your married life, you create a ledger of some sort―a book of accounts housing every single thing gojo has done wrong. you write down your plans to get him back for each of them, a list of pranks and inconveniences to make him regret ever messing with you all those years ago.

at half a year of marriage and 25 years of knowing each other, he casually tells you the big "i love you," but you're sure he doesn't mean it. you tell yourself your heart is racing from how infuriating his existence is; at how stupid his face looked when he'd said it. not anything else and most especially not the little dimple on his cheek that shows itself every now and then.

(you didn't know it yet then, but he'd found the ledger you kept and read through it all. the one-year plan, the three-year plan, the five, and so on. and it does nothing but strengthen how he feels about you, since he was 6, 14, and a few years ago at 24.

it's at your third year of marriage that you find out―how gojo's known all this time, but more importantly, how there were reasons behind every single instance you thought he was out to ruin your life.

with intelligence far beyond his age, gojo has always preferred the company of adults more than children. at age 6, he would listen in on conversations his mother had with her friends, roughly comprehending complex worlds with the simple ones he understood. someone had mentioned something about their daughter being allergic to milk. and so, when your birthday came up and all he saw were milk treats, he gobbled them all up in an effort to make sure you wouldn't be subjected to an adverse reaction―even though you were far off from any dairy allergy.

what he was sure of, however, was that you were severely allergic to bees. and when he spotted one perched right on the buttercup stem geto handed you, he had no choice but to smack it right out of your hand and down to the ground, stepping on it too, for good measure.

and, okay, maybe he was a little naughty for tugging at your braids when you'd just spent all that time doing them, but he always liked how they flowed into waves when they unravelled; how you'd chase him afterwards, angry but so, so pretty.

if there's one moment gojo will consider real sabotage, though, it's that date he stopped you from going to. like there was any way he was going to let another man see you dressed like that. he isn't nice that way. when gojo wants something, he's not sharing, and the sight of you in white―that was meant to be his and only his.)

[wetslug]

working hella overtime because ive lost $1300 in investments post-trump

[sadlynotthevoid]

Talking about the DPxDC crossovers—

You know what is better than "Bruce adopts Danny and/or his sisters after the Fentons mess up" trope? Jack and Maddie adopt the batkids after he messes up.

Listen, I love the "Bad Parents Maddie and Jack" Angst as much as the next phan, but this is way funnier, catarthic and likely to happen.

Just— all the batsiblings having fudge with hot drinks under an improvised blank fort the giant goofy man (their new dad, apparently?) made for them, on-site, and listening silly (real) ghost stories. Meanwhile, the short woman in a cyan hazmat suit is slamming Batman against the floor back and forth, like a kid playing with a doll.

[heckitall]

i have this aikido book for some reason

ive never done aikido

until this book appeared in my house i didnt know aikido was a thing

long story short, the illustrations in it are awesome and fluid and have become my warm ups

which then turn into turtles (as you do)

[lezstat]

ok i feel validated to go fucking feral over s3 now. who do i have to start dreamstat style haunting in order to make Official Tour Photographer Louis du Lac happen? it’s what👏we👏deserve👏 the people yearn for hot roadie-boyfriend-ex-husband LDPDL

[gamesetattach]

"I just know Roger and Mirka have a good sex life There I said it." This is so random LOL

Lmao it's cause I saw this post where Roger said "she cannot always give without receiving" which...

I mean come on.

And like I always thought that of them, because they just seem chill like that. And when couples are that way, and for so long, I can't help but be like: well somethings certainly working... and then, yeah that post reminded me and I just wanted to put it out there, okay

[extravagantliar]

oh is it datv take night - foghorn noises and the implication of the knife would have been much more interesting if they had carried out the joplin idea that fates are tied so welcome to the clown show here.

[laugtherhyena]

Caught myself thinking about Ayame's death and made this

[redhotarsenic]

Love putting this guy in outfits!

[h16h-v0l7463]

Hey man do you want some like. Weed. Pherliac. Something. }◇

do i even want to know what pherliac is?

[lvmimis]

i’ve been thinking since last night how yuuji has one of the worst cases of shonen protag syndrome i’ve ever seen

[shewhowantsmouseears]

[howdyfriend]

I FORGOT THAT PEOPLE ARE AMERICAN