#regardless of numbers

[candlein-themirror]

just want to say this isn’t a complaint/in the end, i don’t care enough to not write or not post….but i have not had a fic do so poorly in numbers the way ‘my heart, your song’ has.

Act II has been up since Saturday with only 18 notes and a majority of those are likes. not sure if it’s because it’s kaeya and people just don’t enjoy kaeya fic that much? (as i’ve been saying, everybody ‘loves’ kaeya but nobody loves kaeya) or if it’s because it’s so absurdly long? or maybe because most of my followers didn’t follow me for genshin but maybe jujutsu kaisen or my hero academia?

the numbers on Ao3 are crazy, too. and they are for the zhongli one shot especially. ‘god of my hunger’ has over 1k hits but only 100 some kudos.

i’d say it’s disheartening if it was like…going to stop me from writing what i enjoy and sharing it? but at this point, it’s just kind of fascinating/crazy to see such a huge shift in fandom as someone whose been around for like 10+ years. and everyone has been saying this—i’m not new in saying this.

mostly just that it seems like people are reading, but they really truly do not care to leave kudos, comments, etc. truly just consuming.

i also swear i only actually have like maybe 100 active followers and it’s like mostly mutuals and like 5 active followers who don’t just spam like LMAO. like it half feels as if the rest are just empty bots?

it’s been ever more apparent to me how capitalism has really sunk its teeth into fandom spaces in ways i don’t think we saw as much in the past? or perhaps i was naive to? but lately, for me at least, i have never felt the divide between writer/reader or content creator vs consumer more than i have recently. like in the last like 3 fics i’ve posted specifically.

and maybe part of it is my own fault with engagement? i definitely could be on more and try and interact more with others/be better about not just posting fic and basically leaving LMAO. i also could be better about reading and reblogging for sure too. i’m not like faultless in this, you know?

but it’s also just so apparent to me lately, how disheartening fandom can be and i don’t mean this in the usual sense that people do but like—

it hasn’t sucked the fun out of it for me in the “what’s even the point of this if no one is going to like/comment/reblog/leave kudos/etc.??” way, but it is certainly taking a toll on me in the, “capitalism is inescapable and ever-growing and festering. even spaces, like fandom, for all intents and purposes, that seem to go against the very idea of capitalism (creating content for free, for enjoyments-sake), will still be strangled by it. you will forever feel and see it’s effects” way.

you know? lol

[sanjipussyindulgence]

watching the kaiju no. 8 anime and the kafka + reno dynamic is so top-tier. contrasting reno, a sterotypical edgy anime teenager, with kafka, a pretty regular guy in his 30s, has such endless comedy to it.

they're father-son coded but reno did the adopting. he saw how lame and wet kafka was and fetched the adoption papers out himself.

[chamerionwrites]

Possibly The most surprising thing I have discovered on the internet is the number of people who will unironically refer to others as "degenerates" without expecting anyone reading this to immediately assume that they are a straight-up fascist

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[lilyshear]

silence nerd

[mummer]

😦

[spinus-pinus]

Domestic Cat Felis catus

2/16/2023 Disney California Adventure Park, California

One of the more well-known Disney cats, because she can frequently be seen hanging out near Grizzly River Run and being admired by parkgoers. Her name is Francisco! The Disneyland Resort actively encourages these feral cats to hang around, as they help with rodent control, but will remove any that become aggressive towards people.

[titsthedamnseason]

eras tour lookbook: my favorites edition

[yuutaguro]

in the spirit of thankfulness I’d just like to say

thank you to everyone who has ever interacted with my art, it honestly means the world to me <3

[avephelis]

still kissable. tbh. (risetober 2: masks)

[torchickentacos]

i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.

[adeleine-everyday]

day 72

professional dancer

[aroaceleovaldez]

out of curiosity, because i like random statistics and data collection - would anybody be interested if i made a blog in the style of those "do you like this song" blogs except it runs polls on submitted riordanverse ships? like people can submit whatever riordanverse ship and then people vote on it and then we tally up all the stats to see like, fandom's most liked or disliked ship(s), most neutral ships, most voted ships, ships with the best and worst ratios of like-dislike, etc etc.

[lightwing-s]

Jason with a chubby so who likes to give hug and a tad of insecure that he lets her to do so how many times however she wants since he knows well that it a way that helps to ground and clean his so's mind

“Hey, gorgeous!” Your boyfriend happily greeted as he saw you walk through the door to the tiny coffee house, opening his arms so you could crash into him, embrace him into a tight warm hug and bury your face in the crook of his neck (or as much as your height could allow you to).

Jason’s strong perfume wrapped around you, leaving you slightly dizzy. After a while of letting his warmth and smell relax you, you rested your chin on his chest, crunching your face as you looked deep into his blue orbs.

“Why are you giving me this look? You look fucking gorgeous.” he stated, using a free hand to play with the hairs on the nape of your neck. Smashing your face on his chest, you could only shake your head against it, feeling your confidence on a low the entire day.

Tightness engulfed you, as Jason’s arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer, if even possible, to his body. His hugs were a comfort, in the midst of the chaos of the world and your own insecurities. He lets you rest like that for a while, caressing your sides, kissing your temples, and whispering i love yous in your ear. Essentially, being the best emotional support boyfriend you could ever have asked.

 “Princess, you’re the brightest girl I know. You’re gorgeous, stunning, and I’ll repeat it religiously until you believe me.” he cooed amidst pecks to your face. “If only you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d love you just as much as I do.”

[tomurakii]

My last post about bloodweave was pretty negative (though necessarily so imo) so I wanted to talk about the little things about the bloodweave dynamic that I DO like and want to see more of in fic (under the cut).

- the orb means Astarion can't start their relationship transactionally. Gale can't give Astarion blood, and also can't have sex with him (and presumably would refuse casual sex anyway). How would the relationship develop without Astarion being able to rely on the give-and-take, forced instead to just trust Gale will watch his back? Astarion isn't a plans guy, I imagine having to come up with something on the spot (considering none of the other companions are reeaaaally an option either) would lead to a lot more emotional vulnerability as he tries to take a route he has much less experience with. Not to mention that the flirty and standoffish front isn't exactly going to endear him to Gale, who approves of the capable, loyal, and righteous. How long can Astarion pretend to be invested in Gale's wellbeing before it becomes true?

- they both have bad ascension endings, but different natural outcomes. Gale is considered the more morally upstanding one, but in their solo states (without the player's influence) Gale will go through with ascension and Astarion won't. Would they goad each other on? Gale disapproves of Astarion's ascension, using arguments that could apply to himself about the personal sacrifice and loss of the soul. Would Astarion flip them around, become defensive? Their dynamic could mean the power hungry character ending up discouraging the pursuit of godhood, or the two of them hurtling over the edge together. Or, maybe, Astarion encouraging Gale to ascend and having to trust him to return.

- they're the party members with the most life experience, and they're also both pretty well-educated (even if Astarion's law qualifications may well have expired by the events of the game). He spent his time under Cazador sewing (like Gale in his Baldur's Gate epilogue) and learning languages (of which Gale knows four). They have enduring common interests beyond their circumstances. Gale can help Astarion rediscover the latent nerd potential he lost when he died, and lord knows he would love to pick his brain for a first hand account of the mid-to-late 12th century.

- Astarion recently regained hope for his future when the tadpole freed him, Gale recently lost all of it. While act 1 is a continuous series of positive discoveries for Astarion (tadpole frees him from cazador -> ceremorphosis is held off by the dream visitor -> tadpole can be controlled), Gale's life gets worse with time as his treatment stops working. It's a dynamic that could give Gale hope, force Astarion to practise empathy, or put them completely at odds.

- Astarion's all-encompassing desire to reclaim his life could be inspiring to Gale. Moreover, I imagine seeing just how passive Gale is about his death would infuriate him. To have so little regard for his real, mortal, free life? It's a great source of angst, and also a great starting point for Gale to start wanting to live again. Because after learning about Astarion's past he would agree, he'd recognise how much value a mortal life was supposed to have. He'd think himself ungrateful or impolite for entertaining the idea of throwing it away when Astarion would give anything to have what he had. This would lead to guilt, and potentially self-loathing, unless someone was there to help pick up the pieces.

- If Astarion meets Oblodra before Gale's act 2 romance scene, (or for a fanfic plot, just before Gale is confident enough to confess) they most likely won't have sex until the graveyard scene in late act 3 (or the post-ascension equivalent). It means that rather than the fuckfest we so often see from bloodweave fics, the relationship is almost entirely a slow-burning, emotionally intimate affair. I'd really love to see that play out, the progression from semi-horny yearning on both parts as the orb keeps them apart, to two love confessions that are followed by the both of them experiencing non-sexual intimacy for the first time in years. I doubt Mystra was one to hug her chosen, after all, or hold their hands.

I just love a bg3 ship that forces the characters to take different actions than they do in canon. It makes me feel like I'm developing a broader understanding of the characters, you know?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hehe I really enjoy your comantary and captions you're so funny, I can't wait until we see Wen Ning again since we left his brief cameo

I miss him everyday.