#regardless of numbers
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just want to say this isn’t a complaint/in the end, i don’t care enough to not write or not post….but i have not had a fic do so poorly in numbers the way ‘my heart, your song’ has.
Act II has been up since Saturday with only 18 notes and a majority of those are likes. not sure if it’s because it’s kaeya and people just don’t enjoy kaeya fic that much? (as i’ve been saying, everybody ‘loves’ kaeya but nobody loves kaeya) or if it’s because it’s so absurdly long? or maybe because most of my followers didn’t follow me for genshin but maybe jujutsu kaisen or my hero academia?
the numbers on Ao3 are crazy, too. and they are for the zhongli one shot especially. ‘god of my hunger’ has over 1k hits but only 100 some kudos.
i’d say it’s disheartening if it was like…going to stop me from writing what i enjoy and sharing it? but at this point, it’s just kind of fascinating/crazy to see such a huge shift in fandom as someone whose been around for like 10+ years. and everyone has been saying this—i’m not new in saying this.
mostly just that it seems like people are reading, but they really truly do not care to leave kudos, comments, etc. truly just consuming.
i also swear i only actually have like maybe 100 active followers and it’s like mostly mutuals and like 5 active followers who don’t just spam like LMAO. like it half feels as if the rest are just empty bots?
it’s been ever more apparent to me how capitalism has really sunk its teeth into fandom spaces in ways i don’t think we saw as much in the past? or perhaps i was naive to? but lately, for me at least, i have never felt the divide between writer/reader or content creator vs consumer more than i have recently. like in the last like 3 fics i’ve posted specifically.
and maybe part of it is my own fault with engagement? i definitely could be on more and try and interact more with others/be better about not just posting fic and basically leaving LMAO. i also could be better about reading and reblogging for sure too. i’m not like faultless in this, you know?
but it’s also just so apparent to me lately, how disheartening fandom can be and i don’t mean this in the usual sense that people do but like—
it hasn’t sucked the fun out of it for me in the “what’s even the point of this if no one is going to like/comment/reblog/leave kudos/etc.??” way, but it is certainly taking a toll on me in the, “capitalism is inescapable and ever-growing and festering. even spaces, like fandom, for all intents and purposes, that seem to go against the very idea of capitalism (creating content for free, for enjoyments-sake), will still be strangled by it. you will forever feel and see it’s effects” way.
you know? lol
#5am cielo thoughts#5am cielo rambles#i don’t mean this to sound as a complaint bc like i said#at the end of the day……i’m writing and posting what i enjoy#regardless of numbers#and fandom has never personally been about numbers for me#but it has always been a space where i’ve enjoyed interaction#and it feels lacking lately in that?#which like i said could certainly be my own fault too#but who knows 🤷🤷🤷#cielo’s critiques!#cielo’s discourse!#cielo rambles!#i think it’s been a weird and sorta Bad summer for me lately#trying to turn things around and not be a negative lil nellie lol#i think i’m just particularly frustrated with how capitalism touches me personally lately#from rent prices to my own real life theater and art communities to my job#and fandom has always been a space i try to escape for that#but i feel as if i’m seeing it here more and more lately than i ever have before#one day i’ll write my big manifesto about capitalism + fandom#and how it HAS become about numbers rather than interaction#but i digress
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watching the kaiju no. 8 anime and the kafka + reno dynamic is so top-tier. contrasting reno, a sterotypical edgy anime teenager, with kafka, a pretty regular guy in his 30s, has such endless comedy to it.
they're father-son coded but reno did the adopting. he saw how lame and wet kafka was and fetched the adoption papers out himself.
#im pretty slow getting thru this episode rn just because of how fried my brain is#but im enjoying it regardless of the art style#the meeting scene with reno and kafka made me have to write this post its so funny#also i know reno literally never dresses like it but i know hes emo. i can smell it on him.#if he wasnt working a government job i know he'd be walking around in black nail polish#kaiju no. 8#kaiju number 8#kafka hibino#reno ichikawa#kaiju no. 8 anime
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Possibly The most surprising thing I have discovered on the internet is the number of people who will unironically refer to others as "degenerates" without expecting anyone reading this to immediately assume that they are a straight-up fascist
#i don't mean the actual nazis though alas there are an eye-opening number of those on the internet too#i mean the 19yo purity wankers who will vaguely gesture at lefty talking points while freely tossing around 'degenerate' as an insult#apparently without recognizing that this sets off like 1000 warning sirens for anyone w the slightest familiarity w fascist rhetoric#bonus points if they actually use the phrase ''degenerate art''#genuinely i have spent my entire internet life immediately blocking anyone who does this on the assumption they are an Actual Nazi#only to discover an alarming number of Kids These Days doing it????? to a point i don't think it can just be undercover fash?????#obviously the purity wank is itself concerning regardless of what political talking points they have learned to parrot but i just.#the multiple overlapping layers of accidentally-right-wing lack of self awareness are. TRULY incredible to witness.#my posts
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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silence nerd
#fields of mistria#eiland#eiland fields of mistria#eiland fom#my art#was talking abt this on twt already but i wish they hadn't made him skinny mf number one thousand twenty two or whatever u know??#i love the variation in body types they DID include but i also wish they would've pushed the marriage candidates a little more#anyway regardless i really like this game so far.. the characters are so charming and i love them all :) march when i catch u
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😦
#thats crazy.#context it’s a boycott of a boycott of israeli publishers/etc#to be honest that poem reads very sinister with this context…..#‘entertainment leaders’ is such a funny term to get around the fact that the boycott theyre responding to was done by authors.#like scooter braun why are you in writers’ business. flop.#they gotta pump up the numbers with random actors and execs lmfao 😭😭#anyway israeli literature has never produced anything of value regardless lol#EDIT: please note that he has now withdrawn his name from the list. make of that what you will
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Domestic Cat Felis catus
2/16/2023 Disney California Adventure Park, California
One of the more well-known Disney cats, because she can frequently be seen hanging out near Grizzly River Run and being admired by parkgoers. Her name is Francisco! The Disneyland Resort actively encourages these feral cats to hang around, as they help with rodent control, but will remove any that become aggressive towards people.
#hazards of taking pictures at disney parks: while I was taking these either chip or dale came up behind me and scared the crap out of me#cat#cats#mostlycatsmostly#domestic cats#feral cat#feral cats#also: I am a HUGE advocate for keeping your cats indoor-only or outdoor under control (leash)#I don't love that disney encourages feral cats BUT they do TNR them afaik and there's not a crazy number of them#I feel like it's relatively rare to see them nowadays?? when I was a kid I saw at least one or two per visit#regardless. big disclaimer bc I am primarily a bird/wildlife blog#I do not approve of outdoor cats lmao#my photos#disneyland#disney parks
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eras tour lookbook: my favorites edition
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#candy swift#my edit#eras tour#CAN I GET SOME COMMOTION FOR THE MOST UNDERRATED LOVER BODYSUIT. AND THE YELLOE DRESS#AND UNPOPULAR OPINION THE GREEN FOLKLORE DRESS WILL NEVER BE THE WHITE FOLKLORE DRESS#mine#this has been in my drafts since JULY 😭😭😭😭#because originally i had the black and gold the man jacket here but that was soooo hard to make a usuable gif of#and then once i finally was happy with how it came out taylor debuted the midnights bodysuit with the cutouts and i was like oh crap#that was also somewhat hard to make a cohesive gif of but i persevered#i just have to say though that IVE BEEN THE NUMBER ONE YELLOW DRESS FAN SINCE SHE FIRST WORE IT OKAY#there’s so much lore associated with it now but it’s been my darling all along#also my unpopular opinion is preferring the empire waist bronze dress but that was just impossible to find good footage of tbh#also my original efforts at this gifset were all for naught regardless bc i’ve changed my mind and like the silver jacket better now#this also all preceded the debut of the pink bodysuit and jacket but idt they would have made it on here anyway
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still kissable. tbh. (risetober 2: masks)
#rottmnt#big mama#rise of the tmnt#risetober#risetober 2023#avepharts#eyestrain#uhh lmk if needs more tws#aveph fact number one: i am arachnophobic#aveph fact number two: regardless i would let big mama absolu
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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day 72
professional dancer
#the brush sensitivity was set wayy too high kinda cooked the piece oopsies#number one advocate for ribbon being great at ballet and ado Trying Her Best#they are both happy and twirly regardless <3#adeleine#adeleine kirby#kirby series#ribbon kirby#day 72
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out of curiosity, because i like random statistics and data collection - would anybody be interested if i made a blog in the style of those "do you like this song" blogs except it runs polls on submitted riordanverse ships? like people can submit whatever riordanverse ship and then people vote on it and then we tally up all the stats to see like, fandom's most liked or disliked ship(s), most neutral ships, most voted ships, ships with the best and worst ratios of like-dislike, etc etc.
#pjo#riordanverse#i know this project has the potential to go absolutely horribly. i thought of it when i was ill and actively taking a nap#so know that it arises from a sickly stupor#but i mostly just wanna see the numbers. also i think its just be interesting perspective-wise to see#like we can make some vague assumptions and i have *some* data for nico ships specifically#but we dont have any overarching data for the fandom's opinions as a whole of various ships and that could be fun#i am certain i would get anon hate for it regardless of anything but i wanna see the data! i wanna make a stupid spreadsheet!#i wanna see the weird numbers and statistics of obscure ships! or even more well-known ships!#riordanverse ship polls
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Jason with a chubby so who likes to give hug and a tad of insecure that he lets her to do so how many times however she wants since he knows well that it a way that helps to ground and clean his so's mind
“Hey, gorgeous!” Your boyfriend happily greeted as he saw you walk through the door to the tiny coffee house, opening his arms so you could crash into him, embrace him into a tight warm hug and bury your face in the crook of his neck (or as much as your height could allow you to).
Jason’s strong perfume wrapped around you, leaving you slightly dizzy. After a while of letting his warmth and smell relax you, you rested your chin on his chest, crunching your face as you looked deep into his blue orbs.
“Why are you giving me this look? You look fucking gorgeous.” he stated, using a free hand to play with the hairs on the nape of your neck. Smashing your face on his chest, you could only shake your head against it, feeling your confidence on a low the entire day.
Tightness engulfed you, as Jason’s arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer, if even possible, to his body. His hugs were a comfort, in the midst of the chaos of the world and your own insecurities. He lets you rest like that for a while, caressing your sides, kissing your temples, and whispering i love yous in your ear. Essentially, being the best emotional support boyfriend you could ever have asked.
“Princess, you’re the brightest girl I know. You’re gorgeous, stunning, and I’ll repeat it religiously until you believe me.” he cooed amidst pecks to your face. “If only you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d love you just as much as I do.”
#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd blurb#jason todd#jason todd fluff#jason todd x you#for everyone that is insecure about their weight#you're perfect regardless#god loves you#i love you#and a number on a scale doesn't mean shit
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My last post about bloodweave was pretty negative (though necessarily so imo) so I wanted to talk about the little things about the bloodweave dynamic that I DO like and want to see more of in fic (under the cut).
- the orb means Astarion can't start their relationship transactionally. Gale can't give Astarion blood, and also can't have sex with him (and presumably would refuse casual sex anyway). How would the relationship develop without Astarion being able to rely on the give-and-take, forced instead to just trust Gale will watch his back? Astarion isn't a plans guy, I imagine having to come up with something on the spot (considering none of the other companions are reeaaaally an option either) would lead to a lot more emotional vulnerability as he tries to take a route he has much less experience with. Not to mention that the flirty and standoffish front isn't exactly going to endear him to Gale, who approves of the capable, loyal, and righteous. How long can Astarion pretend to be invested in Gale's wellbeing before it becomes true?
- they both have bad ascension endings, but different natural outcomes. Gale is considered the more morally upstanding one, but in their solo states (without the player's influence) Gale will go through with ascension and Astarion won't. Would they goad each other on? Gale disapproves of Astarion's ascension, using arguments that could apply to himself about the personal sacrifice and loss of the soul. Would Astarion flip them around, become defensive? Their dynamic could mean the power hungry character ending up discouraging the pursuit of godhood, or the two of them hurtling over the edge together. Or, maybe, Astarion encouraging Gale to ascend and having to trust him to return.
- they're the party members with the most life experience, and they're also both pretty well-educated (even if Astarion's law qualifications may well have expired by the events of the game). He spent his time under Cazador sewing (like Gale in his Baldur's Gate epilogue) and learning languages (of which Gale knows four). They have enduring common interests beyond their circumstances. Gale can help Astarion rediscover the latent nerd potential he lost when he died, and lord knows he would love to pick his brain for a first hand account of the mid-to-late 12th century.
- Astarion recently regained hope for his future when the tadpole freed him, Gale recently lost all of it. While act 1 is a continuous series of positive discoveries for Astarion (tadpole frees him from cazador -> ceremorphosis is held off by the dream visitor -> tadpole can be controlled), Gale's life gets worse with time as his treatment stops working. It's a dynamic that could give Gale hope, force Astarion to practise empathy, or put them completely at odds.
- Astarion's all-encompassing desire to reclaim his life could be inspiring to Gale. Moreover, I imagine seeing just how passive Gale is about his death would infuriate him. To have so little regard for his real, mortal, free life? It's a great source of angst, and also a great starting point for Gale to start wanting to live again. Because after learning about Astarion's past he would agree, he'd recognise how much value a mortal life was supposed to have. He'd think himself ungrateful or impolite for entertaining the idea of throwing it away when Astarion would give anything to have what he had. This would lead to guilt, and potentially self-loathing, unless someone was there to help pick up the pieces.
- If Astarion meets Oblodra before Gale's act 2 romance scene, (or for a fanfic plot, just before Gale is confident enough to confess) they most likely won't have sex until the graveyard scene in late act 3 (or the post-ascension equivalent). It means that rather than the fuckfest we so often see from bloodweave fics, the relationship is almost entirely a slow-burning, emotionally intimate affair. I'd really love to see that play out, the progression from semi-horny yearning on both parts as the orb keeps them apart, to two love confessions that are followed by the both of them experiencing non-sexual intimacy for the first time in years. I doubt Mystra was one to hug her chosen, after all, or hold their hands.
I just love a bg3 ship that forces the characters to take different actions than they do in canon. It makes me feel like I'm developing a broader understanding of the characters, you know?
#perhaps I will write a bw fic. since from the tags of my other post it seems like a lot of people want less-explicit work of them#and i (as the number 1 gale understander /s) have a dif perspective than a lot of bw writers (largely astarion stans)#im workin on a gale/illithid tav postgame whump based on one of my other posts first tho. which could be a chara study for him#and the nature of (this version of) bw is that it puts astarion out of his comfort zone more than gale. so id want to have a good handle on#gale so that the bw fic can focus on the astarion character study rather than me finding both characters kinda finicky#hmm. hmm#but regardless PLEASE PLEASE everyone is welcome to write fic based on/incorporating these and tag me I wanna see em so bad😭😭#bg3#bloodweave#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate#astarion x gale#baldurs gate 3
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Hehe I really enjoy your comantary and captions you're so funny, I can't wait until we see Wen Ning again since we left his brief cameo
I miss him everyday.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#ask#thanks for reading my silly commentary. I also can't wait until we see Wen Ning again!#Wen Ning is so full of babyboy energy....I just want good things to happen to him but oh no oh god the horrors#They keep happening to my precious guy! My sopping wet rabbit!#You have to make sure your Wen Ning gets head pats every day or he will start to wilt#Even if he gets a little stinky and soggy from being buried for 13 years#he is still so deserving of scritches and goodboy treats!#Goodboy treats are probably worms ngl. You think Wen Qing would *Not* feed her little brother worms as children? To see what happens?#She's a woman of science. Hypotheses must be tested. And now WN is a number one worm eater.#The whole corpse thing was just the most wild coincidence. Let WN eat worms regardless of being a live or not!
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It's so funny to me that the fandom has come to see Hirano as a Sasamiya promoter of sorts because while he is, it took him some time to get accustomed to the idea of them together. And while he was never a hater Sasaki's actions towards Miyano certainly used to get on his nerves.
At first he was so worried and probably even felt a little guilty because (as mentioned in the following screenshot) because the only reason why Sasaki knows which class Miya is in, is thanks to him.
But like, that's not the face of a friend that's happy to play cupid and get their two acquaintances together. Not at all, that's the face of someone who puts his sempai-kouhai relationship with Miyano over his (pseudo) friendship with Sasaki.
Hirano from the first chapters would have jailed Sasaki if he were allowed to. (And he has his reasons, Sasaki has been something since the first chapters)
Anyway, the progression of events is really interesting.
He started, quite literally, shielding Miyano from Sasaki.
Then, he came to accept their relationship.
And at the end he really was rooting for them, to the point he ended up outright lying just so Miyano could meet Sasaki and they could talk it out and confess.
#I know the point of Sasaki to Miyano is watching how their relationship develops#but I think Hirano is really important as an spectator of their relationship#everyone thought the pair was and odd couple#him too#so watching him come to terms with their relationship and finally even rooting for them is super sweet#since it shows that he let go of his prejudice (mainly against Sasaki lol)#also I love the message he leaves Sasaki#he really did his everything to give them that last little push that they so needed#and he didn't have to!!!#like two pages before that he curses them both for having never exchanged number#and still he helps them out#idk I just love to ramble about him#he gets angry easily and he lacks patience but he always does his uttermost best to help his friends#even when he isn't particularly close to miya or sasaki#the (pseudo) in pseudofriendship comes from the fact that they are som weirdos that consider each other just classmates#but that's a talk for another day#got sasamiya brainworms again#does this count as a character analysis? (lol)#Hirano might not know of relationships and social dynamics but he really cares about everyone regardless of what those people are to him#both his kohais and his classmates are people he considers precious#and people for whom he would make sacrifices#I'm sorry I just love him very much#sasaki to miyano#if Hirano Taiga has no fans I'm dead#meaning that I'll defend him till my last breath
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