#recognition of the self and all that
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When the blonde ipc stoneheart is your enemy but he shares story parallels with you
#really loved how sunday and aventurine hated each other so so so much <3#recognition of the self and all that#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#hsr sunday#aventurine#dr ratio#veritas ratio#can be read as:#sunturine#idrc you can tag as whatever ship#nanjya.txt
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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masters and their disciples
#i do think cloud retainer wasn't ready to take care of small child#and she was harsh and inconsistent with ganyu at first...#because child's needs are far from what cloud retainer expects from herself...#ganyu has this inferiority complex because of it. because cloud retainer could prioritize her status over ganyu's comfort i guess#i love cloud retainer for being who she is but i can see that ganyu might have hard time to serapate from possible master's expectations#and prove herself that she is worthy of something...and can be as respected as her master is#so.. i believe... that one step for ganyu's self-rehabilitation can be recognition of all her skills by someone younger..#someone who want to learn from it... and I believe that yaoyao can be good apprentice#she is already madame ping's pupil but more teachers more experience the better isnt it#also can we have more gardening related stuff with ganyu.... i still think about her teapot lines...#genshin impact#streetward rambler#madame ping#guizhong#cloud retainer#xianyun#ganyu#yaoyao#fat art#fat ganyu#my art
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solavellan this solavellan that. my favorite way to interpret dalish heroes is as mirrors.
you're Mahariel. your life is over because of a mirror.
You are the mirror of Garahel. Tamlen is the blighted mirror of you. You, the hero, are a reflection of what has been and should never have been. The blood spilled and blackened over a millennium in the name of corrupted once-gods.
you're Merrill. your life is forever altered because of a mirror. you are a reflection of the pride and the folly of your Keeper, of what a Dalish mage should be, and should have been all along.
you are Lavellan. you are the Inquisitor, the lynchpin of fate, both a reflection and avenue of change - like an eluvian. you are the reflection of Mahariel. you are the reflection of your clan. you are the reflection of Ameridan. you are a reflection of Corypheus, caught in a cycle older than either of you. you are a reflection of the elvhen heart and soul. you are, unknowingly, the reflection of Fen'harel, and you will drag the world kicking and screaming into it's new fate and future.
you are, more than anything else, a mirror.
#dragon age#warden mahariel#inquisitor lavellan#merrill#solas#dragon age: inquisition#dragon age: origins#dalish elves#revallen lavellan#like look. solavellan is compelling i get that#but look at how much meaning you can wrench out of it without going for romance!#solas spends all this time with the inquisition watching the ghosts of his past walk very VEEERRY familiar paths#the GUILT of it all. the IRONY. the recognition and biting aching familiarity#how easy it is for the dread wolf to forge these bonds he started by faking. oh not that he means to.#but it's so familiar it almost happens without him#and at the end of it all he still must betray and abandon them#i believe that he and revallen could be very good friends. that he wants to have a friend like that again#but he betrays it all anyways for the greater good#and ultimately is faced with the wrath he once turned on the evanuris#but now desperate and corrupted from this incorrect and incomplete world#he's watching what could have been his own choices. his own self destruction
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
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Seaforth
12 days of 12 - January
#i'm gonna try and draw 12 (and clara hopefully) every month of 2024#and see how my style changes through the year#I'm tragic at drawing Clara so honestly I should like to see the improvement there#when I was like 13ish and big in my Who phase I would draw her all the time#but stylised beyond recognition#I think that learning how to draw her consistently and recognisably would make my younger self very proud#i'm just terrible at drawing softer shapes#I can comprehend only lines#doctor who#doctor who fanart#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#whouffaldi#twelveclara#my pony versions of them got a strange amount of love#maybe that's what I need to post more of#I can be the 12clara pony person
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I still think "my mind is a safe and if I keep it, then we all get rich. my body is an orphanage we take everyone in" is one of the rawest most fucked up lyrics pete has ever written that then got put into a song.
like srsly 27 is such a fucked up song, specially if you put it in the context of when folie came out
#like i don't have the words in english to explain it but??? thinking you'll get rich as long as you keep the mess in your mind locked there?#feeling like you're just a body taking people under your care? but not getting it back? feeling used in a way???#and then patrick choose to follow it up with 'doing lines of dust and sweat off last night stage just to feel like you'???#the parallel between drugs and having a bit of the person you want but can't have?? the recognition of the self in the other???#like you can just inyect a person in you like a drug and be them and feel like them/happy? the I shoot the sunshine in my veins of all it???#INSANE. THEY WERE SICK FOR DOING THIS SONG
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wrt the last post i just reblogged (Halsin cnc meta), i personally tend to imagine him as fairly aware of and comfortable with his kinks, including the ones based on his trauma
in fact i like to think that one of the reasons why he has such trouble accepting that his years of sex slavery were in fact deeply traumatic and abusive is because his response is to heavily sexualize his own trauma - not only was that part of how he discovered that he takes great pleasure in servicing others sexually, but ever since he's sought out situations where he can recreate aspects of the experience
because he's so large and strong and people tend to make assumptions about what kind of sex he wants or what kind of role he plays (or just project their own ideas of what kind of role they want him to play or think he should play onto him), he doesn't get to bottom or sub nearly as often as he likes
although his tendency towards acts of service is imo his own way of taking that control - even if someone wants him to be aggressive and fuck them, if he's doing it as an act of service, then he's still submitting himself to them and making himself their pet or toy and giving himself that satisfaction
this is something that i really like the idea of him and Astarion having in common, actually. i like to think of them both responding to their trauma by sexualizing it, but essentially in opposite directions
Astarion wants to be the one in control, the one doing rather than the one done to, and in contrast to Halsin, i think he would 100% think that makes him a bad person, basically as bad as Cazador
he doesn't really understand kink as something negotiated, as play between willing partners. his only experience is being tortured and exploited, and now that he finds himself with all of these desires to control, dominate, and hurt someone else, to force himself on someone else the way he was forced so many times, he's sure that it must mean he's irredeemably broken by his experiences
meanwhile, Halsin knows that both of their desires are normal and nothing to be ashamed of, but he's got this fun little cognitive dissonance going on where even though he would never think this of someone else, he feels like the fact that he found his experience of sex slavery powerfully erotic means it wasn't really that bad and that he can't really call himself a victim - maybe sort of a victim, but not entirely one, not the way someone like Astarion was
(even though their situations are very similar in certain respects. Astarion says most of his partners didn't even "grant me temporary bliss," but that doesn't mean he never found any of it sexually satisfying or erotically compelling, or never had any complicated feelings about Cazador that included love, a desire for attention/regard, or a sense of comforting familiarity)
i'm just very fond of the idea of Halsin being pretty comfortable in his own enjoyment of submission, including things like masochism, cnc, pet play, various types of power exchange, and just generally a lot of things that are quite specifically aspects of his own past abuse, and getting to walk Astarion through the idea that it's fine and okay to like that sort of thing whether you want to be on the giving or receiving end of it
and MEANWHILE being forced to confront his own internal double standard where he holds himself responsible for things that he would never hold someone else responsible for, due to his direct engagement with Astarion's trauma, and having to slowly come to the realization that he was a captive, he was a victim, it was abusive, and he is in fact Kind Of Fucked Up About It
#self-recognition through the other babeyyyyy#just my personal set of headcanons about halsin and his trauma and his relationship to kink because of his trauma#i like to think he doesn't struggle so much with accepting his kinks as with feeling like he has the right to be 'selfish' enough to ask fo#unless his partner says they want to do it first in which case he'll go all in#or they ASK him outright what he wants to do and he can mentally turn it into 'i'm pleasing them by being honest'#he is legitimately down for most things but he also tends to go with the flow#and struggles to be able to assert himself even in relatively minor ways if he feels like it'd be a bummer to his partner#bg3#halstarion
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homura 'my self loathing is the strongest thing about me' akemi reacting so super normally to the notion that the witch who created this super peaceful labyrinth where everyone has what they've always wanted and they all get to be happy together may not be a Sinful Creature Deserving Of Destruction
#i love sayaka's expression when homura's like 'i'll kill the witch no question' bc she would've answered the same at one point#recognition of the self through the other and all that#like she really is saying to homura what she wanted someone tell her. ''is the heart that wished for this really so sinful?''#''are you really so awful for wanting to give someone peace? are you really so awful for wanting someone you love by your side?''#oughghgh#nova watches pmmm
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The parallellism of Adric and the fifth Doctors' last words being each others names
I am sick to my fucking stomach babes
#it's the self-recognition through the other#it's the constant tragedy of the man you wanted to be and the child you wanted to be better#head in my hands and sobbing all the time#I will not make it out of listening to the lost resort unscathed#doctor who#classic who#adric of alzarius#fifth doctor
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everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)
#the idiot#ippolit terentyev#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy#it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since#god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition#and they just make fun of him#literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does#they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up#because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable#and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility#that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are#and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!!#he's EIGHTEEN and DYING#this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever#and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature#he has a right to be upset about that#he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about#and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that#and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others#and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that#yet i feel bad for him#and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him#and yes he's doing it for attention#of course he wants attention#can you blame him??#all he wants is to be heard#to feel like his life mattered#but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up#like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with#sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol
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I think the fact that Vale started criticizing aggressive driving even though he was the first to do so during his golden years is due to what happened to Sic (not very prudent on the track) and that's why he got so angry with Marc regarding his driving
i do think the sic of it all impacts his opinion of marc's riding later (notably after he gets to know marc. like after he starts to matter to him. and ofc also when he starts to be in direct competition !) but marc was a rising star slash war criminal for quite a few years after sic's death and vale was generally very complimentary during that time! AND comma insanely he made a point to compare them. which MARC did multiple times as well, both before and after moving up to the premiere class. like here is a vale quote from nov 2012:
and another one from feb testing:
and of course there's him saying marc is him, just the new model from laguna seca that year.... and another quote of marc comparing them from 2012 (pretty sure he used the same excuse after bumping jorge and the laguna seca stuff his rookie year too. he said if vale can do then i can!!! which of course is the problem.):
#like it was self recognition (positive) until they did it to each other and it became self recognition (DEROGATORY)#callie speaks#motogp#asks#rosquez#but yeah it all folds in together...#like hitting the apex makes a point to compare marc and sic's riding and that uh. well i cant believe vale missed that.
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Go Slovenia! ✊🏼 Recognize Palestine! 💜
Make things right 👍🏼
#palestine#palestinians#support for palestine#state of palestine#self determination#democracy#free palestine#free gaza#justice#europe#gaza#genocide#rafah massacre#all eyes on rafah#israeli atrocities#israeli apartheid#israeli occupation#war crimes#idf terrorists#iof terrorism#iof war crimes#two state solution#slovenia#human rights#recognize palestine#recognition#rules based order#international law#history#civilization
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Dude is working his ass off for sure.
#neil newbon#boundaries? not really#I know a very particular actor that wouldn't even hug people tightly#and that keeps his distance#and his younger than Neil#I don't know#I think Neil totally deserves the recognition#and I think it's wonderful he's getting it and all the love#but with that come some self insert creeps#*he's
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yuuji manages to find the guts to hold megumi’s hand once and not more than 5 seconds later he gets the shovel talk from 90% of the people in megumi’s life. they truly mean their words that if yuuji ever makes megumi feel bad even by mistake, the higher ups r going to be the least of his problems. the same goes for sukuna.
the other 10% of people r frantically trying to book an immediate flight back to japan after his toes started tingling that something was up with His Boy.
just as yuuji thinks he managed the worst, he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up and narrowly dodges assassination attempt courtesy of the zenin
The thing is that Megumi is actually such a low maintenance, chill boyfriend. Best boyfriend ever. He always replies to texts quickly. He’s on time to dates. He’s never jealous. They rarely fight, and when they do, it’s always because it’s legitimately important, and they always end up working it out. He lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!). The tips of his ears turn fire engine red whenever Yuuji does anything that shows off how Strong and Fast he is, which can be fun for Yuuji. It’s not a competition but also yes it is and Yuuji won it. He locked down The Best Boyfriend Ever. And it only took him 83 days of hardcore crushing, a 27 step plan, and nearly throwing himself off a cliff because he said “hooray” when Megumi told Yuuji he liked him.
He’s Done It. He Secured The Bag. Megumi Is His Boyfriend And The World Is A Perfect Place.
But everyone else seems to have some very strong opinions about that fact. Much stronger opinions than Megumi himself, who lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!).
There's a very confusing conversation with Inumaki and Panda about his intentions. Yuuji, very honestly, said that he didn't think he'd get far enough to have any real intentions past what he's already managed, which did not help. Maki had a similar conversation but it involved a sword. God's Perfect Man Who Already Gets Everything He Wants In Life And Certainly Doesn't Need to Butt Into This Too may be returning early from Africa. Yuuji would much rather that Africa keep him, please and thank you. There's a sniper that has him in his sights.
It's worth it.
#sea glass gardens#sort of#the continuing adventures of itadori yuuji being tormented by God's Perfect Man Okkotsu Yuuta#and trying to make Megumi His Boy instead of Yuutas#in all seriousness yuuta would be delighted if megumi got a boyfriend#and he would only LIGHTLY threaten him with a sword#jk#the itafushi that lives in my head is a sickeningly sweet cutesy first relationship#like they both just really are having that First Ever Boyfriend experience#they're both ridiculously into the other#megumi sees Yuuji do something stupidly athletic and is flustered for the rest of the afternoon#yuuji thinks megumi is the prettiest person he's ever met especially when he smiles and will do anything to get one out of him#nobara thinks they both should be taken out back and shot for making her watch this shit#kugisaki nobara world's most homophobic lesbian#lgbtq things are happening to people who do NOT deserve it#gay people are fine these specific gay people disgust her. god they're both useless like this#megumi: you're just jealous i got a boyfriend who could pick me up before you got a girlfriend you could pick you up#nobara pulling out her hammer: i'll kill you here and now#megumi: cry about it#nobara and megumi have this horrible recognition of self through the other because megumi's secretly ridiculously flustered by how Strong#and Fast Yuuji is and nobara is less secretly more openly finding maki insanely hot for how Strong and Fast she is#The Attracted to Pretty Person So Strong So Fast Alliance is facing unprecedented division when megumi starts dating yuuji first#meanwhile in the background everything is on fire and there's an assassin in the distance
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if a human asks a gnome when gnomes reach adulthood, they'll probably pin it somewhere between 20 and 40, depending on how they're interpreting the question; if an elf asks, they'll say "oh, we don't"
#speaking of 'getting mad because people don't meaningfully engage with fantasy lifespans'#EVERYONE overlooks the cultural nuance in dnd that elves are /physically/ mature not much later than humans#but are not considered an adult until some self-declared point of maturity usually around the age of 100#that is. DIFFERENT. than 'a 50 year old elf is basically a literal child' no it ISN'T! it's a CULTURAL RECOGNITION#elves don't think it's possible for humans to mature into a really meaningful adulthood because they literally don't live long enough#'poor things have to settle down and work and marry and have children and die before they can even figure themselves out :/'#gnomes don't subscribe to this because of course they don't it's a cultural viewpoint but also they largely think it's stupid#oh yeah? you're all done growing up after 100 years? nothing left to learn about yourself as a person?#you Become An Adult when you're Wise And Mature which is a single static thing that happens in the first 1/6th of your life?#wow amazing it must be cool to be so enlightened 🙄#... I need a general worldbuilding musing tag agsjkfdhsj#I guess for now#gnome thoughts#it's almost entirely elf thoughts but that's my only relevant established tag :'D#gnome stuff
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