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dendroaspis-viridis · 16 days ago

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Anointed

Tending to the recently deceased is typically a quiet, contemplative affair for the Mourn Watch. The only exception this time is what—or rather who—each Watcher is contemplating.

Rating: T (Chapter 2 is E)

Read it on AO3

Tags: slice of life, mild angst, mutual pining, embalming a corpse, yes the two prev tags are happening simultaneously

9:47 Dragon

It’d been a particularly brutal winter, which meant the Mourn Watch was kept busier than usual retrieving and preserving the dead. Two days ago, they’d received a missive regarding the passing of Duke Forsythia in the night, requesting their retrieval of his body the morning following his wake.

It was simple enough to hitch the undead horses, and once the magically-cooled transport casket was loaded into the back of the hearse, they were off.

Emmrich and Katareth rode to the Forsythia’s sprawling estate just outside the city in companionable silence, expressions schooled into the placid, assured masks Nevarrans had come to expect of the Mortalitasi. Not that it mattered, as the early hour of their departure meant that most of the city’s residents were either still in bed or just beginning their mornings. The lower halves of both Watchers’ faces were also wrapped in thick charcoal scarves to protect themselves from the freezing winds, further concealing their features.

Katareth held the reins, guiding the trio of horses along empty streets to the edge of town and through an opulent wrought iron gate. The large double doors of the manor opened as they approached, revealing the small, stoic matriarch of House Forsythia.

When they stepped from the carriage and reached the top of the staircase, she ushered them into the grand entrance hall. “I must extend my most sincere gratitude to you both, riding so far in the cold—on Solstice Eve, no less!” Her light, expressive voice belied not only her advanced years, but also the unfortunate reason for their presence in the first place.

“It’s no trouble at all, Duchess Forsythia,” Emmrich assured her. “The Mourn Watch is honored to serve.”

The nonagenarian waved a knobby hand at the necromancer, “You’ve been our advisor for decades, Emmrich, and it feels as though I’ve insisted you call me Amalia for just as long.” When he gave a sheepish chuckle, her attention turned to the qunari, milky-grey eyes narrowed to slits. Katareth didn’t miss how they briefly flicked to her horns. “And you… I’ve seen you before, but I’ve not met you… You’re the Naletski’s girl, aren’t you?”

While ‘girl’ might’ve been a bit of a stretch—considering she was about forty years old and over seven feet tall at this point—she nevertheless gave a respectful bow as she answered, “Yes, Katareth Naletski.” When the noblewoman didn’t react, she tacked on an uncertain, “Um, feel free to use my given name, if you would prefer.”

Apparently, that was the correct response, as the woman’s thin lips spread into a warm smile. “Likewise, Katareth.” She turned to lead the Watchers deeper into the castle, but paused to return her steely eyes up to the reaper. “Felix would be happy to know you were one of the Watchers to collect him,” Amalia began matter-of-factly. “Always said the best defense against a Qunari was an even bigger Tal-Vashoth…” From the corner of her eye, Kat caught Emmrich’s shoulders rise and face pinch as he cringed behind the duchess’ back.

Well, she really didn’t know how to respond to that—there was a reason she preferred mummifying bodies to collecting them, after all. Following a brief internal debate, she murmured a tentative, “…Thank you…?” as she assumed the woman’s reminiscing was intended as a compliment?

She was two for two on proper responses, apparently, as the noblewoman nodded sagely before returning her focus to guide the Mortalitasi to the great hall, reviewing her husband’s final requests as they trailed closely behind her.

His body was collected with little fanfare, as the duke was a relatively modest man despite the Forsythia’s overflowing coffers. At most, a Chantry priest said a few elegies for his soul’s safe arrival to the Maker’s side while they loaded the casket into the hearse, and servants gingerly placed two white granite urns in a padded storage chest before sliding it in next to the casket.

Katareth stepped around to the front of the carriage to give Duchess Forsythia the opportunity to speak privately with Emmrich while she checked on the horses’ tacking. She tried to avoid eavesdropping, but couldn’t help overhearing the duchess’ voice rise above the gentle breeze and rattle of bare branches overhead. The reaper didn’t catch what exactly the noblewoman said, but the exasperated, grousing tone of Amalia’s voice had her eyebrows raising at Gustav. The horse only tilted his bony head in response.

The duchess hobbled over to the qunari after a time, ignoring Gustav’s warning snort and taking something from a servant’s waiting hands before thrusting it up to her face. It was a velvet satchel the color of daffodils whose contents clinked and jingled as they shifted.

“You will accept this without question. Am I understood?” her stern tone gave little room for dissent.

“Yes, ma’am.” Katareth took the bag. Andraste’s flaming ass, how many gulders did she stuff in here?

“Smart girl. Thought I’d have to threaten another Mourn Watcher…” she grumbled to herself. Amalia looked to the hearse and sighed, taking one of Katareth’s comparatively massive hands in hers. “I gave Emmrich the same unsolicited advice, so now it’s your turn: cherish your family while you’ve got them. Eventually there’ll come a time where they’re not around anymore… and while you’ll still have memories, it’ll… it’ll never be the same...” She squeezed Katareth’s hand for emphasis before releasing it. “Now you take care of my Felix for me, alright?”

“Of course, Amalia.”

The matriarch smiled sadly at the hearse one last time before slowly shuffling her way back inside.

Both Watchers reclaimed their seats at the front of the hearse, and with a quick flick of her wrists, the horses began trotting back to the Grand Necropolis.

-----

Nevarra City’s streets were still barren during their return, giving the reaper’s mind a bit if space to dwell on the duchess’ parting words. Family was something of an interesting subject for Katareth…

The nurturing Tamassran who raised her for the first twelve years of her life was the same woman who screamed for Arvaarads when the little magic she possessed first manifested. And while Albrecht Naletski’s mind may have been clouded by grief when he first took in the young Tal-Vashoth, he at least made some attempts at bonding with the traumatized child despite the initial language barrier. Petra, however, wanted nothing to do with the girl, and never bothered hiding her loathing for ‘Franziska’—as Albrecht had originally named the qunari—or her husband’s bleeding heart.

Katareth was painfully aware of the fact that her presence strained the Naletski’s already tenuous marriage, and was almost relieved when she accidentally revealed her magic during a particularly brutal verbal lashing by Petra. The girl didn’t think it was impolite to ask why she needed so many different forks for one meal, but apparently her accent was wrong and her grammar was wrong and how dare she speak when she wasn’t spoken to first. Albrecht attempted to soothe his wife to no avail, and it rapidly devolved into another screaming match about their lost children while the then sixteen-year-old silently fumed, quite literally burning a hole through the tablecloth. And then the table itself.

When she really thought about it, Katareth only had a handful of people she would consider family in any sense of the word, and they each wore the same greyish-purple robes she did.

“…Rook?” she felt a light hand on her bicep.

The nickname Varric had bequeathed to her during the Pentaghast’s hunt ball had caught like wildfire through the Grand Necropolis. It had annoyed her at first—she’d originally changed her name to Katareth in an attempt to exert some small modicum of agency in her life, after all—but grew to appreciate it when she saw the warm fondness everyone spoke it with.

“…Rook?” the hand gently squeezed.

She blinked a few times before looking to Emmrich, momentarily dazzled by how pretty his eyes were in the morning sun. It highlighted all the brilliant shades of honey, umber, and sage that were normally hidden away under the Veilfire that dimly illuminated the Grand Necropolis.

“Are you alright? You looked like you were a million miles away.”

“I got a bit lost in thought—sorry, what were you saying?” The streets were still blessedly empty.

“No apologies necessary. I was just mentioning that Ulrich will be visiting with my nephews in the spring for the Wintersend tournaments, and I’m fairly certain they’re more excited to see you again than they are me,” his quiet laughter was muffled somewhat by his scarf.

“Eh, they’re still at that age where they’re obsessed with combat and dragons—two things I happen to enjoy talking about. I’m sure they’ll learn to appreciate your knowledge and wisdom as they mature.”

“Oh, I’m not offended in the slightest, I’m just appreciative they have such a patient teacher.” His eyes narrowed slightly, “…And ‘wisdom,’ was it? Is that your way of telling me I’m old?” he teased.

“No,” the qunari snorted, “it’s my way of saying you’re right most of the time. Besides, you’re only what, forty-eight? If you think that’s old, does that mean you also think Johanna’s old? You've only got two years on her,” she countered.

Emmrich hastily backpedaled, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Though the lower half of his face was concealed, she knew he was trying not to smile.

She leaned into his space to conspiratorially whisper, “I’m telling Johanna you think she’s old.”

“You wouldn’t dare…” He was right of course, but he was too fun to tease.

Katareth leaned back to nonchalantly survey the streets. “Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t… Who’s to say?” She pretended to mull over her options for several long moments before deciding, “But I couldn’t risk her mauling my favorite necromancer, now, could I?”

“My knight in shining armor,” Emmrich placed his palm over his heart. “What would I do without you?”

“Get lost in the Necropolis?”

As Katareth finished her statement, they trotted down the thoroughfare that led into the Necropolis proper. The hollow sound of clip-clopping hooves echoed in the dozens of recesses that lined the walls, each featuring an urn that was as unique as the remains held within. The reaper gently tugged on the reins, easing the horses to a standstill under the drooping, pale willows that had gone dormant for the season.

Stepping from the hearse, Emmrich collected a gurney while Katareth began unhitching the horses. Normally, there would be acolytes to assist with the more mundane tasks, but the week surrounding the Winter Solstice typically left the Grand Necropolis running on little more than a skeleton crew—quite literally—as most of the living residents left to spend time with family.

Katareth always volunteered to stay over the holiday, as it gave her the perfect excuse to avoid her adoptive parents. Emmrich, on the other hand, had something of a sixth sense when it came to death. He had anticipated the duke’s passing over the holiday, and wanted to ensure he was available to assist his patrons in whatever way they required. He wouldn’t deny Katareth’s presence made the prospect of staying over the solstice all the more enticing, however.

“If you’d like to bring the duke to one of the embalming suites, I’ll get the horses put away and meet you there when I’m finished?” Katareth delegated.

The necromancer nodded, “Manfred and I should have everything set up by the time you arrive.”

-----

The rich, heady scent of incense grew stronger as she approached the door leading into the suite.

“Wonderful, Manfred! This looks perfect.” Katareth heard the necromancer praise as she stepped in. The skeleton gave a happy little chitter in response, turning from the older Watcher to organize the plethora of tools they might need into neat rows.

Emmrich was already dressed in his usual embalming garb, carefully inspecting a bubbling alembic and turning down the flame to watch as the mixture cooled. Turning to her right, Katareth spotted her own protective gown and apron neatly folded on a nearby counter. Donning her gear, she listened as Emmrich eagerly chattered away about his latest project.

“I’ve added more bitumen to the embalming solution in the hopes that it’ll allow for greater mobility while still maintaining its preservative properties—should Cumberland’s Watchers choose to house a spirit in Felix’s body, of course. To counteract bitumen’s, er, unpleasant smell, I’ve also included a higher concentration of lavender and myrrh.” Though her gaze was occupied with fastening the various buckles and ties, she could hear the smile in his voice. “It seems to be quite effective if my trial runs are to be believed, and I’m hopeful it will maintain its efficacy in something a bit larger...”

The qunari tightened the straps on her elbow-length gloves, giving them a testing clench to ensure everything fit comfortably. Satisfied, she looked up from her fiddling to see the necromancer staring intently at her hands.

He cleared his throat before continuing, meeting her eyes, “This’ll need some time to cool,” he gestured to the glassware, “but I’m ready to get started whenever you are.”

“Then let’s begin.” Katareth stepped around to stand on the opposite side of the raised table from her fellow Watcher. The white silk shroud was folded down and removed to reveal the cool, pallid body of Duke Felix Forsythia. He looked remarkable for having died two days ago. The only hints to his lifelessness came in the form of several deep purple bruises along the backs of his head and limbs, but those could be fixed later. For now, Emmrich raised a silver ewer embossed with dancing skeletons and spirits, tipping it to gently pour fragrant wine across the corpse. They meticulously scrubbed at rubbery skin, manipulating limbs and joints to prepare for the multitude of steps ahead.

For the second time that day, Katareth found her mind wandering as her hands gently worked wine into the duke’s skin, this time to mull over the little family she’d carved out here.

Myrna was by far her closest friend and confidant, first meeting at Cumberland’s circle and reuniting when Katareth was eventually transferred to the Grand Necropolis. The human’s calm geniality made her easy to get along with, and she had perfected the subtle art of gently teasing the reaper from the Necropolis to enjoy the city’s multitude of art galleries and museums together. Or on days where neither woman felt like venturing into the land of the living, they read quietly on opposite sides of the same sofa, passing a bottle of sweet wine back and forth to take swigs.

The best way she could describe her relationship with Johanna, on the other hand, was by likening it to that of a supportively antagonistic older sister. For all her snarking and sniping at Katareth’s expense, the older Watcher truly had a soft spot for her former protégé, teasing and teaching the reaper in equal measure. During Kat’s initial reticent year in the Necropolis, Johanna had gone so far as to learn a bit of Qunlat, concerned her student’s mutism was related to a language barrier. While her assumption was incorrect, it was an example of her subtle benevolence, complimented perfectly by the fact that they soon began bonding over some of the more colorful Qunari phrases.

Then there was Emmrich… Her feelings for the necromancer had certainly morphed over the many years she’d know him. Starting with a neutral indifference to her best friend’s mentor, they slowly, quietly, blossomed into something more over the years as she came to observe and appreciate the bottomless well of compassion that seemed to pour from him. His very presence lit up a room, and he had the most enchanting ability to make even the most mundane things seem extraordinary. Whether it was earnestly detailing the long journey the tea leaves he steeped had to go on in order to arrive at the Necropolis’ doors, or pointing out the soft glitter of a sandstone tableau in a long-abandoned crypt, he never failed to make the world around him seem that much more intriguing.

However, it wasn’t as though she would ever act on her deepest feelings, so she rarely bothered dwelling on them to this extent. She was more than happy to guard and guide him–and occasionally a small gaggle of students—during treks into the Necropolis’ bowels, or provide a fresh set of eyes to a project. No, his friendship was worth far too much for her to risk it over some unnamed emotions, regardless of the way her heart skipped at each and every compliment he showered her in…

Blinking a few times to refocus on the body laid out before her, Katareth found herself satisfied with the corpse’s cleanliness. Taking hold of a matching ewer, the qunari tilted her gloved hand, chasing wine with crisp water over the duke’s body and down the drain. Once empty, she placed the pitcher in the skeleton’s waiting hands with a grateful, “Thank you, Manfred,” and was handed a scalpel in return. Holding it toward a Veilfire sconce to appraise the edge, Katareth was pleased to find it razor-sharp.

-----

As Katareth inspected the knife, Emmrich retrieved an awl from Manfred’s meticulously organized tray. This was by far his least favorite method for excerebration—he found craniectomies to be both more efficient and dignified—but this had been a part of Duke Forsythia’s end-of-life plans for years, and the necromancer would never dream of going against one’s final wishes.

He made some minor adjustments to the placement of the chisel’s tip before striking the opposite end with a mallet. And with a wet crunch, he pierced through the ethmoid. The reaper jumped a bit with the sound.

“Apologies,” he offered after piercing through the bone on the opposite side.

“None needed, just a bit quiet in here is all.”

He hummed in agreement. “It is, isn’t it… I’m normally lecturing to acolytes as we work, aren’t I?”

Katareth nodded with the corners of her lips quirked upward, “Not that I mind either way.”

“I’d be more than happy to give you your own private lecture, if you’d like?” He was only half joking.

Katareth’s smirk stretched to a lopsided smile, “You don’t have to, but I appreciate the offer.”

He traded his awl for a thin hooked rod, inserting it into one of the new access points to begin disarticulating Duke Forsythia’s brain. While he worked, Emmrich had a front row seat to observe the reaper as she drew the scalpel up the duke’s jugular, slowly oozing dark, semi-coagulated blood. With a few precise incantations, she guided it to the drain at the bottom of the table. What she couldn’t dispel with simple blood magic, she began kneading from his limbs.

Emmrich had long been afraid of death—something he found a bit embarrassing, given as he’d dedicated his life to helping others understand and even accept it, after all—but it would be an almost welcome experience if he knew she would be the one tending to his body when his soul finally passed into the Fade. How wonderful it must be, he thought, to have her strong hands massaging at his muscles, working blackened blood from stagnant veins. To be the sole focus of her attention as she reverently tended to his corpse, taking him apart piece by piece only to put him back together for the last time... He would almost be envious of the duke, were the necromancer’s own hands not currently busied scraping grey matter from the inside of his skull.

It was a shame how so few outside the Necropolis were capable of—or willing—to look beyond her gilded horns and towering frame to see the tenderhearted woman underneath, and how fewer still were granted the privilege of her companionship. Emmrich found her a wonderfully charming bundle of juxtapositions, and couldn’t help but appreciate every single one. Like how the calloused hands that lovingly cared for her pet deathwatch beetles were the same ones that effortlessly hefted greatswords. Or the way her menacing snarl could turn blood to ice in the veins of would-be grave robbers, but was so warm and encouraging when providing Manfred with gentle but persistent guidance as he developed a new skill. Or the one Emmrich found most endearing: the way her usually reserved countenance was replaced with an almost fervent giddiness anytime she was given the opportunity to speak about one of her favorite topics at length. Katareth was a marvel, and he considered himself among Thedas’ luckiest men that the reaper chose him above all others to spend her time with.

As he fondly catalogued his fellow Watcher's every feature, their respective tasks passed effortlessly. And soon, both the duke’s cranium and veins were left void of any potential rot.

-----

“Will you do the honors, or shall I?” Katareth held a scalpel out to the necromancer, this one longer than the last.

“Why don’t you? I believe I did it last time.”

She nodded, lowering the blade to slice from sternum to navel in a single, fluid stroke. As she meticulously worked through the various layers of fascia, fat, and muscle to expose the abdominal cavity, Manfred assisted Emmrich in preparing the series of baths they’d need for the duke’s organs. The first rippled with clear water directly from the Minater, the second was filled with more fragrant wine, and the last held a thicker amber liquid that smelled of rich spices and resin.

Years of experience had the trio working seamlessly. With each organ excised, she would weigh and appraise it, informing Manfred on what to scrawl into the autopsy records before handing it off to Emmrich. Once it had made its way through the multiple washes, the necromancer would set it on a cool tray, nestled in with the rest of the organs in preparation for the final step.

“Do you have a favorite organ, Katareth?” Emmrich suddenly asked while cradling a liver that dripped with wine.

The larger Watcher hummed as she considered the question, slicing through the duke’s diaphragm. “I guess the lungs?” It felt like a bit of a cop-out, as those were the organs she was currently seeking out, but she did like breathing. “They’re easy to take for granted if you’ve never had to deal with them not working properly...” She briefly thought back to the time they encountered a possessed dragon, where one of its putrid claws pierced between her ribs and into her right lung. Myrna and Emmrich managed to patch her back together, but the resulting pneumonia left her bedridden for nearly a fortnight, hacking and wheezing the entire time.

Apparently Emmrich was thinking of the same incident. “Maker, with what a nightmare that whole affair was, I’m impressed we all made it back in one piece—er, more or less.” He turned to place Duke Forsythia’s liver on the tray next to his stomach, “Though I must say you were a wonderful patient.” While the idea of anyone seeing her in such a frail state had the qunari’s hackles raised, she curiously found herself looking forward to his little check-ins. His constant reassurance and concern with her comfort made the ordered bedrest almost tolerable, and the fact that the necromancer’s freezing hands were a balm to her fevered skin certainly didn’t hurt, either.

“Being in the capable hands of the Watch’s best healers made things a bit easier.” She thought she saw the barest hint of pink on his cheeks. “But what about you? Do you have a favorite organ?”

“Skin,” he stated without hesitation. “It does so much! Everything from thermoregulation to tactile stimulation, and it plays such a vital role in how we communicate with one another. We even use the skin of other species every single day for an even wider variety of applications.” Emmrich gestured to the thick gloves and aprons both Watchers wore. There it was again: his delightful ability to give her a newfound appreciation for something as humdrum as skin.

“Is it too late to change my answer?” the qunari joked. During his explanation, she snipped through the veins and arteries that tethered each lung to the heart.

“Never, though lungs are an excellent choice, as well!” the necromancer assured. “Very practical.”

Each lung was removed individually and placed upon the scale. “The right lung is seven hundred and twenty-five grams, with no blemishes visible. It’s greyish pink in color, which is appropriate given the delay in mummification,” she declared, listening for the soft scratch of charcoal on parchment before she handed it off to the older Watcher.

Though the wisp was incapable of facial expressions, the staccato movements of his arm spoke of an intense focus. “Manfred?” Katareth waited for him to look up from his task before continuing gently, “Your penmanship’s been improving by leaps and bounds,” she praised, smiling, “but remember to relax your shoulders and take it slow. We’re in no rush, I promise.” The reaper knew he wasn’t subjected to physical exhaustion like a living being, but Manfred could experience something akin to mental fatigue if he focused on something too intensely for too long.

He nodded and gave a little hissing grunt of acknowledgement before rolling his shoulders. “The left lung is six hundred and eighty grams. Like the right, it shows no blemishes and is of the same dull pink color.” The drag of charcoal was much more consistent this time around. “Very good!”

While Emmrich took the lungs through the series of baths, the qunari gave the duke’s body one final rinse with wine, paying special attention to the now mostly-hollow abdominal and thoracic cavities. Once everything was patted down to soak up excess fluid, the necromancer eagerly poured the lukewarm contents of the alembic into a bowl for easier access. Almost instantly, the intoxicating scents of cinnamon, cedar, and myrrh filled the embalming suite.

The Watchers got to work lathering Duke Forsythia’s body with the viscous, amber-colored embalming fluid, paying special attention to thoroughly rub it in around his joints to aid in mobility once fully mummified.

Emmrich stepped back to examine the corpse. “I believe that about does it… Are we ready with the natron, Manfred?” The skeleton hissed cheerfully, gesturing to a sizeable pile of linen pouches filled with salt he’d put together. “Oh, excellent work.”

-----

Two hours later, the duke was cocooned in a sizeable mound of natron. The Watchers would need to refresh it daily, but following a quick patrol of the upper levels of the Necropolis, their work for the day was done.

“Do you have any plans for the evening?” Emmrich asked as they returned to the residential wing.

“I really need to sharpen my greatsword, to be honest…” its edge was still razor-sharp, but she noticed the barest hint of drag when slicing through training dummies a few days ago that she’d been desperate to rectify ever since.

“Well if you’d like, please feel free to join me in my quarters while you hone it.” The Necromancer’s warm eyes held a little glimmer of anticipation. “I’d like to finish my notes regarding my newest embalming fluid attempt, and would welcome your company. Manfred is a delight, of course, but he’s retired for the evening and I find I work better with someone to bounce ideas off of.”

“I’d like that. Give me half an hour to get out of my full plate and I’ll be there?”

“I’ll see you then, Katareth.”

#emmrich volkarin #emmrich x rook #emmrich x qunari rook #dragon age fanfiction #katareth naletski

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writing-in-sin · 1 year ago

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Pattern in my OTPs: Sadistic! Top x Fearless! Bottom

Dont mind me, just self-indulging about my OTPs

Anyways!

Recently, I've noticed that I have a certain type when in comes to my OTPs which is a sadistic top paired with a fearless bottom. Granted, not all of my OTPs are of this type but I dont think its an exaggeration when I say that at least 90% of them are like this

GinHiji

Out of all of my OTPs, I'd say GinHiji pretty much embodies my favourite type of OTPs. Gintoki is canonically a Sadist and in fact, is known to be a Do-S alongside Sougo. Contrasting him is the fearless yet tsundere Hijikata. Another reason why I like them is the manzai combi they have. Hijikata is forever exasperated by Gintoki and cant help but be the tsukkomi to Gintoki's boke 🤣

BakuDeku

These 2 have a very complicated relationship but thankfully have improved a lot especially in recent years. Bakugou can be quite sadistic but considering what's happened between them and him canonically wants to do better, I think it'll take awhile for Bakugou to let out that sadistic side of him around Deku

With Deku though, he doesnt mind and I think we all can agree that Deku is a disastrous combination of fearless and reckless 😅

6927

One of my 1st OTPs since high school. Now, I dont think i need to tell anyone who's ever read or watched KHR that Mukuro is hands down quite terrifying and considering his introduction, has a sadistic streak a mile wide

For Tsuna, yeah....while its true that he tend to be more afraid than not but as time went on, it became more apparent that he's grown to be couragous and fearless when it comes to his Famiglia

KamuShin

granted, this is more of a crackship since Kamui and Shinpachi barely interacted but I like how their personalities mesh together. Kamui is another canonically sadistic chara in Gintama, anyone who's ever seen him fight in the Yoshiwara or Silver Soul arc can attest to that. Not to mentioned all of the shenanigans and mayhem he likes to cause with a deranged grin

Shinpachi is noted to be fearless in his own right, capable of accomplishing feats that other normal humans would feel impossible to even try. cant forget that he's also the one who made Utsuro pause before the timeskip

plus, they're also a manzai combi! a Do-S Yato boke with a glasses tsukkomi XD

ParaEmu

initially, i like them as a switch couple but recent years make me lean more of them as a fixed pair with Parad as a top. starting out as a villain, Parad was noted to be quite sadistic especially when he possessed Emu. He's since mellowed out but since we dont see much of how the charas are post-canon, its hard to say if he retained his more sadistic nature. i tend to hc that he does but only lets it out when needed

if anyone knows Emu's not so pleasant childhood and how he's risen to overcome many obstacles in life, then i think we can agree that he's become one of the most fearless charas in Ex-Aid

DeathPuss

okay, this one is pretty much on the nose. sadistic grim reaper hunting down everyone's favourite fearless hero anyone?

WangXian

Wei Wuxian is one of the most fearless charas I've ever had the pleasure to know about. the way he holds onto his morals and convictions even as the whole world turned against him is nothing short of inspiring. born with a smile and a noble heart that's matched by his beloved husband Lan Wangji

while he's not sadistic in the usual sense, Lan Wangji in the novel is known to mercilessly tease his husband especially in :ehem: bed. not to mentioned that when he deems it necessary, this man never hesitates to swiftly cut people down with just a few words right at jugular too

DazuShi

a suicidal former Port Mafia who's known to torture people paired with his steadily fearless were-tiger. i love their dynamic

MiSawa

Miyuki Kazuya is canonically known as twisted by both allies and opponents alike even feared to the point of petrifying the target of his ire with just a glare.

Sawamura Eijun? the fearless sunshine boy who overcome odds that would and have retired many players from the game. the Yips arc was remarkable in showing Eijun's strength and determination

KaiShin

the trickster who can easily manipulate law enforcements and enemies alike. its more noted in the early chapters of the manga, but Kaito was more callous. while thats no longer the case, Kaito is still quite unhinged

Shinichi? well, with all the reckless stunts he's pulled over the past 20+ years, i think fearless is an understatement for this detective

LawLu

the recent addition to my OTP list. LawLu is the one that made me realise that I tend to favour sadistic tops when I was trying to articulate Law's preference in my HC

thats when I realised that Law has a sadistic streak in canon. while its not explored all that much since he's an ally of the Straw Hats, we see hints of it. combined with the fact that he's a nerd, big on plans and control, he's a terrifying force. this is the same guy who cut opened 100 pirate hearts and sent them to the Marines

Luffy? he's fearless as they come. overcoming many hardships and coming out stronger. who fights for freedom and nakama even if it means facing death. hell, its canon that he's not afraid to face death for what he believes in

_____

With that said, I love my OTPs 🤩😍

.....Also, should I be worried that I'm a little too fond of sadistic tops for my OTPs? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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goldensunset · 1 year ago

Note

How does death work in the TWEWY universe, from the perspective of the living?

Thinking logically, I might believe that the Players are merely in a coma, stubbornly refusing to die until they either get erased or win.

But it's also so amusing to have the idea of a Player winning the game and crawling out of their own grave because they were, in fact, Actually Deceased.

REAL this is bonkers to me

•the coma idea is neat but i doubt there’s any doubt in the minds of living people that these guys are dead. we know eri referred to shiki as having died.

•i believe it was established in the reports in the first game that by the composer’s power they are reformed with a new body (iirc). which begs the question of what happens to their old body that’s been buried or cremated or w/e. wouldn’t that be wild if it just remained so when the person died again now they had two bodies in the same grave or w/e lol*

•i think it was implied in neo at some point that once someone comes back to life the living sort of just. forget??? that the person ever died??? which is insane. like their memories of reality are overwritten by the lie that the composer feeds them. only the reborn person knows the truth which. ouch. that has to be a horrible burden to carry. but it makes sense

•but i also think. if i remember correctly shoka has a line (i think she was talking to beat?) that’s like ‘geez how does she even remember you’ when he’s talking about how he’s communicating with rhyme. which. girl what do you MEAN. is she implying that the living forget the dead ever existed at all even if the dead have not been erased yet??? that can’t be right. we know eri remembered shiki. or is it specifically because of the weird thing that happened to the people who got pulled into the game without dying. where like their entire presence online got erased (why exactly did that happen? idk)

•i think they say something about how rhyme and shiki, as former ug residents, can see beat, rindo, fret, and nagi even across ground lines because those guys are not truly dead. ordinary rg residents can’t see them at all and no rg residents can see neku and shoka are truly dead. idk. but still i would like to know what the situation was like for, say, nagi. someone alive in the ug. did the people who knew her temporarily forget her. dude

*another set of questions has been raised. sorry <3

•first question: do all of the recent dead in an area automatically join the game? most are probably erased, and probably immediately. twewy week one has dialogue that implies the size of that week’s game was a mere 12 people. idk what average number of people in a given population die per week in real life so idk what conclusion to draw there. but probably more than 12 in all of shibuya lol.

•anyway, if it’s not everyone, if where do the other dead go??? instant erasure?? i think it might be that as a test to see who’s worthy of rebirth, only certain people even get a ticket into said test. like the reapers use their prejudice to determine if you’re even worth inviting. or if that’s not the case, the people who get in could simply be the people who WANT to live again. a lot of people probably just accept oblivion. the reason we only see plucky young kids (or like. nerds and influencers in neo lol) is because they still had entire lives ahead of them and were not at all prepared for death. so the reapers might’ve just like read their souls and determined their desire. of course we see like the twewy main 5 all being like ahhhh idk if i have anything to come back to am i even worth it… but that’s just them lamenting the state of their lives. that’s not the same as openly welcoming death.

•second question: could you die and play the reaper’s game multiple times? cheating death infinitely because you’re just that good at solving puzzles beating noise? imagine a player on their fifth life and death the reapers are like ‘c’mon man just join us already it’s the only path to angelhood aka the ideal highest state of being. every game is a gamble and you’re only getting older and less capable. don’t you want to chill out and live in peace?’ and the player’s like ‘no shut up i don’t want your crummy job. i still have so many books to read and my cats need me. i’ll see you in like a month when i inevitably fall down the stairs again’

tldr: ‘oh simple ask i’ll respond right away with just a few words and a normal amount of thoughts about the twewyverse’

#lol #asks #stresslitzia #the world ends with you #twewy #neo the world ends with you #ntwewy #neo twewy #subaseka tag #mine: twewy

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analogskullerosis · 4 months ago

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4, 7, 42 !!!

4. what are you looking forward to?

Going back to school so I can enjoy my first full year as a high school library assistant and do all the fun things I have planned for the year (I started last December so I only got a half year).

I'm also planning on going to a few shows in September. I'm excited to finally get to see Magdalena Bay (a synth-pop duo I've loved for a while now) and I'm catching Electric Light Orchestra one more time in Philadelphia before Jeff Lynne hangs it up. I'm sure there are other things I'm excited for, but that's all that's coming to mind currently.

7. what was your life like last year?

I had just finished earning my master's degree in English Lit, I finally left retail for good (although it would be months before I would start my current job), and was enjoying the summertime. My father was still alive and little did I know that he would be gone in three months. Still strange to think about sometimes. But I was happy then and I'm still relatively happy now! Just some things are different now :)

42. favourite book(s)

Oh jeez! This is a hard one. I don't know if I have a definitive favorite, but I can name a bunch of ones I really love!

The book I've probably re-read the most is The Great Gatsby and it's my go-to example of a breezy story that's just easy to go back to and just holds up well. Very few people can be called "The Voice of Their Generation," but I think F. Scott Fitzgerald really captured the world around him and his specific moment in a way that few others could. I think The Beautiful and Damned also does that really well.

I've always loved J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey (to the point where I wrote my undergraduate thesis about it). The way he writes character dialogue is simply unmatched. Most of that book is conversation, but it never feels like it's dragging. You feel like a fly-on-the-wall listening in on two characters talking about heavy stuff that maybe you shouldn't be hearing, but you can't resist. I know Catcher in the Rye has a reputation and stink surrounding around it, but Holden Caufield is such a fully realized character by the end of the second page and his narrative voice just jumps off the page. Salinger's characters have always felt like real people to me and it makes for incredible reading.

Two recent favorites of mine have been Reaper Man and Soul Music by Terry Pratchett, two of the many books in his Discworld series. I love them for different reasons. Reaper Man explores why Death himself feels its important to give a shit about the humans he's tasked with taking to the afterlife ("What can the harvest hope for if not for the care of the reaper man?") Soul Music is just a great demonstration of Pratchett's humor, his ability to weave pop culture and music references seamlessly into his fantasy, and present a fun and heartfelt story that explores what happens when his characters are introduced to something from our world (rock n' roll in Soul Music's case). Terry's "Death" series of Discworld books kept me laughing and kept me going when my dad passed (don't ask me what attracted me to the "Death" series during that time hahaha). Different Seasons by Stephen King has always been one of my favorites (it got me back into reading in tenth grade). I fell in love with "The Shawshank Redemption", really enjoyed "The Body" (which became the movie Stand By Me) and loved the realistic horror of "The Breathing Method." I'm currently knee-deep in his Dark Tower series, but that's one of my favorite King works because the horror is understated and not supernatural based. He uses the four novellas in that work to explore realistic characters and real horrors (prison, how easy it is to fall into fascism, learning about your own mortality, and the fear that comes with difficult pregnancies and the unknown-ness of whether a mother will survive the delivery). I love it! I revisit it every couple years.

I could shoot your ear off about books forever, but I promise I won't do that! :)

Anyhoo! Thanks for submitting some questions! This was fun!

From this post. Feel free to submit a number, if you so choose!

#question #answers #antidecay

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serickswrites · 2 months ago

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Hey!

You reblogged that post asking for people to ask about your writing process and I'm trying to get to know people better, so tell me about your writing process! Your ocs! Your favorite little bit you wrote recently!

Hello, friend! (I'm answering this out of order because it made me smile!)

Thank you for the questions!!!! So exciting!!

My writing process is a little higgly piggly at times in that sometimes I just have a fully formed vision completely in my head and will not stop writing it until its completed. Other times I get bits and pieces. I draw a lot of inspiration from music. Sometimes I'll see/read something and wonder how I would write it and that makes something happen. Other times prompts save my life. I love, love, love prompts/requests/asks because some of my best inspiration comes from those. I will say with most things I write I know the ending and the beginning and have to work backwards. So for those of you who are like why the mcd, it hit out of nowhere, for me it started with the death and I worked backwards. Which really sucks sometimes because I will grow to love and adore characters that I have brutally murdered lol. I hurt my own feelings just as much as others lol.

As for my ocs, well I have quite a few floating around in my head. In 'Make Me Your Villain', Liam is my precious cinnamon roll, but I love Nova and her drive. Henry or Jude are the most fun to write though. In 'Lonely Place of Longing', I originally wasn't going to have anything written from Dylan's perspective when I envisioned the story (still from the end first), but as I wrote the penultimate chapter, I had more and more of his voice in my head so I had to try it. Then I realized I needed to write more of his voice because he had a lot to say. He's definitely one of my more tragic characters I've written and posted on here--though things do look up for him with Halle and that is just so lovely to write--(not my most tragic as the main character in my giant WIP probably wins on that one, but he's a pretty close second). Giant WIP was a frenzied writing project (I did for Nano in 2021? I think?) that I was feeling a little burnt out by (wrote 60k works in 30 days and plotted the remaining chapters that needed to be written) but still wanted to keep writing every day and write ideas that didn't fit into the narrative, so I started this blog! I would say Mal is my favorite character to write in that (she's one of my two narrators), but honestly I adore writing my two villains, Leo and Oliver, are so deliciously evil, I love writing them more.

Here's a little excerpt from giant WIP that I wrote last week that I'm actually really proud of (not because the writing is great) because I connected the dots on something that I was stumped on how I could connect them (this is why pantsing and working backwards are hard, folks).

She heard a shuffled scrape. Slowly she turned her head and saw grim reaper carrying Danielle away. Grim reaper? Not a grim reaper, Mal. Get your shit together. Pay attention. Who was that? Who was here with us. Who took her away? That wasn’t Leo. Leo didn’t move her away. There was someone there. He was there sometimes. When we were alone with Danielle. We were never alone. Who was that? The grim reaper—man—had dark brown hair, a hood hid his eyes, his features, but he was lean, so painfully lean. Of course we thought he was a grim reaper this man is so skinny. Not as tall as he looks, his leanness is deceiving.

Her eyes were barely tracking his movements. The haze was dragging her back under. No, no, no. Shitshitshitshit. Stay awake. Come on! Focus. Who was that? Was there anything else? Come on, Mal. Come on. She could hear Leo’s voice calling from somewhere else in the apartment. A name. What was his name. COME ON. WHAT WAS HIS NAME.

Thank you so much for the questions! And for anyone reading this, please always ask. If you aren't sure if I want to answer, you can always ask it and I can always just not answer it. If you're shy, you can PM or Anon ask, that's all good! I love interacting with people and talking about writing :D

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

#serickswrites #writeblr #asks #requests #queue

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broiderie · 2 years ago

Text

Meet the Reaper 15

Here is a new chapter. It's a beast. It's also HEAVY as hell. Like... HEED THE FUCKING WARNINGS heavy. Y'all... if anything in the warnings is a trigger - don't read it. Be responsible for your own media consumption. If you want to know what happens - ask. I'll tell you. Or better yet, tell me which warning is a trigger and I'll send you an edited version of the chapter with that part redacted and summarized instead. I'm not looking to trigger ANYONE. This is just something that I needed to write to get it off my chest.

As always... Don't steal my shit.

WARNINGS: vague medical shit, doctor visit, slightly inappropriate flirting, Megan reacting to an angry man, fluffy Mayans, talk of the international arms deals appropriate to the show, talk of payout for non-specified Mayan jobs, fluffy Hank, slightly steamy bit, talk of forced infertility.

HEED THE FUCKING WARNINGS. I get specific for a reason, people!

Megan shifted her sling uncomfortably, but smiled up at Hank even if it was a little strained. “I hope I’m right.” Her face suddenly paled several shades.

Hank tugged her close and kissed her. “Me too, mi amore.” He glanced around to be sure no one was near enough to hear him. “You need to sit down so that you can rest your arm. You’ve done too much today, haven’t you?”

Megan shook her head. “I’m okay. I can do it.”

Hank frowned at her color and flagged down EZ who was behind the built in bar. “I don’t care. You’re right in the middle of your dose. You shouldn’t be uncomfortable right now and I can see that you are.”

EZ came to Hank’s side. “Need something, Hank?”

“Find la princessa a chair. She needs to ease her arm,” Hank told him quietly.

EZ nodded. “Of course.” He smiled gently at Megan and went to find a chair for her.

Hank pulled Megan in front of him to lean back against his chest so that he could take the weight of her cast. “Rest here until he gets back, mi princessa.”

The rest of the M.C. was focused on the meeting and they were behind Bishop, Marcus and Taza so the elders didn’t notice the shift in position from Megan and Hank. However, Adelita and the Galindos did.

Adelita raised her hand to pause the discussion. “Excuse me, but is she alright?” she asked Marcus, pointing to Megan. She looked genuinely concerned for her.

Marcus turned to check on Megan and saw Hank supporting her sling. “Poquito? All good?”

Taza frowned and went to stand.

Megan gave them a strained smile. “I’m alright, mi padrinos, Papa.”

Bishop looked to Hank. “Qué ocurre?”

Hank shook his head. “Tiene dolor, y no debería estarlo todavía.”

Megan growled at their use of Spanish. “Not fair.”

Taza excused himself and came to check her sling himself. “Where does it hurt, Chica?”

“Papa - I’m okay. It just hurts. It’ll pass.” She tried to smile at him again. “Don’t let me interrupt the meeting. It’s too important.”

Miguel frowned as well. “What is it? Does she need a doctor?”

Bishop took a deep breath. “Apologies, Mr. Galindo.”

Marcus nodded. “I understand you loaned us manpower when Megan was kidnapped. Megan was in a car accident during that rescue attempt and was injured fairly severely.”

Devante frowned. “Then perhaps we should finish our meeting quickly so the girl can leave. She isn’t essential for this anyway. Perhaps she should just go.”

Emily frowned severely at Devante, but turned to Marcus and Bishop. “Are you sure she doesn’t need a doctor?”

Megan shook her head. “Again. I apologize. It was a very recent incident and my family worries. I am alright. Please - continue the meeting.”

Hank nodded a little at Bishop. “I’ve got mi princessa,” he assured Taza and the others. “I sent the prospect for supplies for her. He’ll be right back. Go ahead. I’ll let you know if it gets worse.”

Adelita stood and went behind the bar. She quickly put together an ice pack and brought it to Hank. “Here. Maybe this will help ease the pain until your friend returns.” She smiled at Megan. “We will hurry and be done soon.” As she returned to the group with Taza behind her she squeezed Megan’s good shoulder in support. It was worth it to note that Rex never growled at Adelita - just watched her closely.

EZ came back in with a chair from another conference room and several pillows that he’d weedled out of housekeeping.

“There. See. The girl is fine. Can we please get back to the business at hand instead of fussing over a hysterical child?” Devante stated shortly.

Marcus’ eyes narrowed and Bishop looked angry, but both of them nodded. “Of course.” They glanced at Megan worriedly, but nodded again.

Hank got Megan into the chair, putting the makeshift ice pack on her collarbone and EZ propped pillows under her casted arm. Creeper brought her a bottle of water. Coco watched worriedly and squatted in front of her to watch her color. Her father and uncles kept glancing back to check on her.

Megan rolled her eyes impatiently. “I just shifted wrong. The pain will pass. This is why I said I’d be a distraction,” she hissed at them.

Gilly snorted. “Princessa, distraction or not, business is still happening. You aren’t hurting anything.” He nodded towards the huddle.

A few minutes later, the shot caller all stood to shake hands. Emily gathered the contracts and took the rough drafts to EZ at the bar for him to shred. Marcus spoke with Miguel and Devante, while Bishop and Taza introduced themselves to Adelita - who used the name Luisa - properly.

The rest of the M.C followed their president’s example and introduced themselves to the leader of the LO. Hank stayed back with Megan, watching her color starting to return to normal, but noting that she was still shaking a little. After she had met everyone else, Luisa came over to introduce herself to Hank. Then she turned to Megan.

Megan smiled up at her from her chair. “Hi. I’m Megan.”

Luisa shook Megan’s left hand gently. “Luisa. Are you feeling better?”

Megan nodded. “Sorry about that. They worry. I’ll be alright. The pain is passing,” Megan assured her with a small smile.

“Good. If you need help -” Luisa offered uncertainly.

Megan smiled at her again and petted Rex’s ears. “Thank you. I’m okay. I just shifted wrong I think. I have a broken collarbone as well as the broken wrist…”

Coco snorted, “And cracked ribs and a concussion…”

Luisa frowned. “I see… these injuries are… serious.”

“I’m healing. That’s all. I’ll be just fine in a few weeks.” Megan smiled up at her again. “I would like to be of help to this new alliance though.”

That caused Adelita to smile. “I have no doubt that you will be, Megan. Soon. Heal first.” She smiled gently again and went to speak to someone else.

Emily Galindo made her way over to check on Megan as well, but didn’t get too close when Rex shifted uncomfortably as she approached. “I just wanted to check on you to be sure you’re really alright,” she said.

Megan took a breath and turned her Southern Bell Company Smiled back on. “Of course, Mrs. Galindo. My apologies for the interruption. I will be just fine.”

Emily pursed her lips and nodded. “Of course. Please, let me know if you need anything in Santo Padre. We’re on the same side, after all.”

“Of course ma’am.” Megan nodded politely. Hank smiled politely as well as the blonde socialite moved on.

Once pleasantries were over with, Galindo asked if Marcus would ride back to Santo Padre with him. Marcus explained that the club would be staying at least one more night at the casino for Megan’s birthday, but offered to meet with him privately in another room. Miguel frowned, but sent Devante to speak to the front desk about accommodations for himself, Emily and Luisa for the night. “We do not wish to interrupt club business. Adelita, Devante and I have some… business to conclude ourselves. Perhaps a breakfast meeting tomorrow morning then,” Miguel offered.

“Of course, Mr. Galindo,” Marcus said.

Just before everyone left, Miguel made his way over to where Megan sat with Rex beside her. Hank had gone to dispose of the ice pack at the bar. “Megan - it truly is good to see you came to no lasting harm from your recent ordeal. Please, if there’s anything I can do to make your stay in Santo Padre more comfortable let me know. Your godfather is a very old friend of my father’s. I’d like to be of assistance to you if you’d let me,” he said politely.

Megan firmed her back and sat up straight. “Thank you for your concern, Mr. Galindo, and for the help you provided my family when I was taken, but I’m fine. My family has me covered,” Megan said as she dialed the Southern charm up to eleven.

“All the same, here’s my card.” He produced a business card for her.

Rex pressed to her leg growling softly as she took the card without touching Galindo and nodded politely. “Thank you, sir.” She immediately reached for Rex’s collar to hold on to him.

Miguel offered one more appraising nod and went to stand with Emily as she packed away all her legal tools.

Hank came to rejoin Megan warily. “What was that all about?” he asked in a low growl that made Megan tense.

Megan immediately handed him the business card. “I’m not sure. He said his father and Tío Marcus were friends and that he’d like to help me where he could. It was weird. It kind of reminded me of a rodeo team owner schmoozing a possible rider.” She bit her lip a little worriedly. “I deflected as much as I politely could.”

Hank growled again with his eyes on Miguel across the room. “I don’t like that he’s taken an interest in you…”

“I’m sorry…” Megan whispered and lowered her eyes to fiddle with her own zipper pull on her new kutte.

Hank frowned and looked at her. “Sorry? For what, mi amore? You did nothing wrong.”

“But maybe I drew too much attention, or maybe if I’d worn different clothes, or just kept my mouth shut…” she rambled.

Hank squatted in front of her and was startled to see tears gathering on her lash line. “Princessa, I’m not angry with you. You did absolutely beautifully today.” He used gentle fingers to tilt her chin and kiss her softly. He pressed his forehead to hers after he pulled away. I’m not upset at you at all. I’m upset that Mister Married Deep Pockets seems to think you’re fair game.”

Megan blinked rapidly. “I didn’t try to get his attention - honestly.”

“Oh, baby. I know that.” He stood and lifted her gently so that he could slide in under her in the chair, putting her in his lap. He cradled her close and pressed gentle kisses to her hairline. “I’m sorry I growled. It wasn’t aimed at you. Never at you, mi amore. I was aggravated at him.” He tilted her chin and pressed another gentle kiss to her lips. “You did NOTHING wrong, Princessa.”

Megan nodded slowly and swallowed hard before burying her face in his neck. “Can I take more medicine yet? It really hurts still.”

Hank frowned and looked at his watch in alarm. She was over a half hour early. She’d never asked for her pain medicine before. “Sure, mi reina.” He got her another dose and helped her take it with the bottle of water Creeper had given her earlier. “Is it your collarbone or your wrist?”

“My wrist.”

Hank flagged down Coco. “Can you get Taza to come here, man?”

“Sure. Everything alright?” Coco asked warily.

“Hopefully. Just get him.” Hank cuddled her close to his body, supporting her wrist cast.

Taza hurried over as Coco slipped out of the room with the rest of the younger Mayans. Before Coco got out the door, he gave Hank another worried look.

“What’s going on?” Taza asked.

“Megan says her wrist is really hurting all of a sudden,” Hank explained. “I just gave her another dose a little early, but something’s not right, Taza. She’s never asked for a dose of pain medicine before.”

Taza squatted in front of them and got licked on the chin by Rex for the trouble. He chuckled a little and petted the dog. “Where on your wrist is hurting, Chica? Maybe the break shifted?”

Megan pointed to the spot on the side of her wrist, just under her thumb. “I shifted my sling during the meeting and suddenly had shooting pain right here. Worse than it’s ever been - even before I started taking the pills.” She sniffled a little and leaned into Hank some more.

Taza’s eyebrows raised. “Stay put, Sweet Chica. I’m going to check if Adam keeps a staff doctor. If not, we’ll head to the hospital.”

Megan swallowed. “I’d rather not, Papa.”

Hank rocked her gently. “We know, mi amore, but you need to be checked over. I’ll stay with you the whole time.” He kissed her hair and nodded at Taza who left the room. “Shhh, mi reina. It’s going to be alright. We’ve got you.”

Megan buried her face against his neck and he could feel tears on his skin that she had been holding back.

Rex stood and growled softly as Creeper approached. Creep calmly lifted his hands and spoke soothingly to the big animal. “Easy, Rex. Just me. Just wanna check on your mama. Good boy.” He looked to Hank. “She hurting still?” He didn’t come closer just yet.

Hank nodded. “Rex, down. Just Creeper. Let him in.”

The animal stopped growling and his hackles went down, but he remained standing between Megan and the rest of the room.

Creeper cautiously took another step towards them, and when Rex stayed calm, he moved to Hank’s side. “Anything I can do, brother?”

“Taza’s gone to see if the casino keeps a doctor on staff. She hates hospitals, but we’ll go if there’s not one here,” Hank explained. “It’s her wrist.”

Creeper squatted down to support her wrist cast for Hank so the big biker could use both hands to soothe and hold her. “Where?”

Megan sniffled wetly. “By the thumb. Under the cast.”

Creeper frowned. “I saw the x-rays after the accident. That’s not where you broke it, Little Princess. Did you bump it today at the store or anything? Or maybe try to move it like you did the other morning at breakfast?”

Megan shook her head but didn’t lift her eyes. She kept her face buried in the crook between Hank’s neck and shoulder.

Creeper looked to Hank. “Did she have a nightmare during that nap before lunch? Maybe try to reach for you in her sleep?”

Hank shook his head and kissed Megan’s forehead. “No. Nothing since a bad one last night. I think I got her stabilized in time during that one though.”

Creeper tilted his head in thought. “Then it’s not a new break. Sometimes if you strain against the cast, it can cause little breaks. Least that’s what they told me last time I had a cast.”

Taza came hurrying back in. “Adam’s got the local doctor on speed dial. He called him. Said he’d be here soon. Let’s take her back to the suite. He’ll meet us there,” he said, glancing at where EZ was still shredding papers and the door that the Galindo party had exited from not long before.

Hank nodded. He looked at Creeper. “Could you take Rex out before you come up? I’m just going to carry her.”

“Course, brother. Anything you need.” Creeper grabbed Rex’s leash and tugged gently. “Come on, Rex. Let’s go outside.”

Rex resisted a little, looking at Megan and whining.

Hank stroked her hair back. “Mi amore, I think Rex wants you to tell him it’s okay for Creeper to take him outside.”

Megan giggled a little, but lifted her head to look at Rex with a sniff. “Good boy. Go on. Creeper’s gonna take you on a walk. I’m okay.”

The dog whined again, but reluctantly followed Creeper out of the room.

Taza shook his head in amazement. “Happy sure undersold that pooch in the brains department.”

Hank nodded before arranging Megan so he could stand without jostling her too much. “You can say that again.”

—---------

A little over an hour later, the doctor Adam had called stepped out of the room Megan and Hank were using to a common room full of concerned bikers.

Bishop stood. “Well?”

The older doctor chuckled. “Ms. Morales said you’d all probably be worried. She’s alright. Before you leave tomorrow she’s got an appointment at my clinic here on the Rez. They casted her arm while she was unconscious and it was done awkwardly causing strain on her muscles and tendons. That’s why she’s been in so much pain. Her muscles are pulling against the broken bone constantly. I’ll re-cast it and it will remove the strain, relaxing those muscles. I also plan to examine her collarbone to see if it’s healed enough to remove the sling if I put her in a soft cast instead of plaster.” The doctor smiled as all the men relaxed. He could hear them collectively breathing easier. “She’s going to be fine, gentlemen. I gave her a mild muscle relaxer that won’t affect her thinking processes since she explained she doesn’t like the side effects of the stronger pain killers. It should hold until tomorrow morning when I see her again. If not, call me.”

Marcus smiled. “Thank you, Doc.”

“Of course. Her father and … boyfriend?... are with her. I gave them my card in case anything changes, but…” he produced another business card from the pocket of his white coat. “Here’s another copy for the rest of you.”

Bishop took the card and with a polite nod, the doctor left.

Creeper went to let Rex into the bedroom, only to be met by Taza coming out. They let the big dog in the room and then quietly shut the door before returning to the conference table.

“Doc said it was good news, but how is she really?” Creeper asked him as Taza took his seat.

Taza took a beer from EZ and sighed. “She’s being a trooper. Apparently the pain has been worse than we thought this entire time. Doc said that he’s surprised she hadn’t caved and went to the ER with it… or broke the cast with the muscle spasms she’s been having. Hank’s sitting on her to make her rest until the shot the doc gave her can take full effect.”

Bishop nodded. “That what pulled you away from the Galindo meeting the first time?”

Taza chuckled. “Actually… no. La princessa earned her kutte in that meeting, brother.” He sipped his beer with a smirk. “She may have solved our Irish problem.”

There was a thump as all four legs of the chair Angel had been leaning back in hit the ground. Suddenly Taza had every man’s attention in the room. The meeting had only taken a few hours, and everyone was now back in the rooms.

Marcus sat forward. “What do you mean, hermano?”

Bishop raised a hand to make them pause. “Do we need to table?”

Taza shrugged. “We will need to eventually, but it’s not urgent enough that it can’t wait until we’re home for the official vote.”

Both Bishop and Marcus nodded. “Alright then,” Bishop said. “Fill us in.”

Taza explained Megan’s theory about Adelita and Los Olvidados being their solution to needing a port. He pointed out all the things she had said to him - how the rebels are widespread, powerful, and damn near impossible to find if they don’t want to be. He sealed the deal for Bishop by bringing up Megan’s point about how bringing the LO close helps eliminate the motive to double cross the M.C. even if they do fall out with Galindo. “And - Megan also pointed out that the twenty percent we were prepared to offer the VM would buy a lot of supplies for Adelita’s orphans.”

Bishop chuckled and said back in his chair. He took a sip of his whiskey and looked at Marcus. “Well El Padrino… what do you think?”

Marcus smirked. “I think… if this works out the way she thinks it will… Megan has more than earned that kutte.” He looked at Bishop. “I’m supposed to have that breakfast meeting with Galindo tomorrow. WIll you meet with her and feel her out?”

Bishop nodded. “Of course, Primo. A few of us can meet with her and any people she has with her.” He looked at Taza. “What time is Megan’s appointment tomorrow morning? I'd like her to be there. It’s her plan. She should get to execute it.”

“Seven. Should be done by nine or nine thirty at the latest,” Taza said.

Riz nodded. “I’ll reach out and see if Adelita has time for us around ten, just to be safe.”

“Good.” Bishop grinned again. “Hopefully we can call Chibs by noon with good news.”

Creeper raised a hand. “I’ve got something to bring to the table.” He looked at Taza. “Fairly sure you can proxy Hank’s vote on this one. No need to pull him away from Princess-sitting.”

Bishop nodded. “Alright, Creep. Let’s hear it. We’ll see if we need to proxy after that.”

Creeper sat up and met all the men’s eyes. “Little Princess just may have saved our collective asses. I know the armorer vote already went through, but we didn’t talk about if she gets a cut. She won’t vote, but… brothers… that girl just proved she’s worthy of something. We said she could go on runs, but if she does - she shouldn’t be doing it for free.”

Gilly frowned. “You mean - we gotta vote on if la princessa gets paid to risk her ass like the rest of us? If she’s on a run, I just assumed she'd get a cut like the rest of us. Hell - even if she’s not on the run. We all get payouts monthly from profits - shouldn’t she?”

Angel frowned. “But those are benefits of membership. Prospects only get payouts for specific jobs. They don’t get the stipend. She’s not a voting member.”

Coco shrugged. “Only because she don’t got a dick. I say she risks just as much as a member, she should get paid like one.”

Riz shook his head at Coco’s phrasing. “Not how I would have said it - but Coco’s got a point.”

Bishop sat in thought a moment. “Poquito would argue that she’s not a patch and shouldn’t be treated like one…” He nodded to Angel.

Several of the men started to protest, but shut up when Bishop raised his hand. “I’m just telling you what her argument will be if we try to give her a stipend. She probably won’t take payout from runs either if we leave it up to her.” He looked around the table. The Oakland Mayans were listening, but offered no comments. “I say we vote it now so she can’t argue and we can say it’s her salary for being armorer.”

“Seconded,” Creeper said.

“Me too,” added Gilly.

“Alright then. We vote. All in favor of Poquito getting run payouts and the stipend monthly?” Bishop asked.

Hands went up around the table. Angel was the last to raise his hand, but he did with a sigh.

Bishop nodded. “We’ll just proxy Hank as a yes, shall we?” he said with a grin.

The men chuckled and nodded.

“Alright then - Poquito will be paid as our armorer.” Bishop nicked on the table. “Thanks Creep. Not something we’d thought of.”

Creeper nodded with a grin.

“Now that the serious shit is over with - Adam said the tribe is throwing their monthly bonfire tonight. I’m taking Megan so she can hear the stories and for the dancing. Anyone else?” Taza asked.

Angel, Coco and Gilly shook their heads. “We’ve got plans for the prospect this evening too,” Angel said.

Marcus and Bishop both laughed. “Nah, brother. We’ll stick here. Let you guys get some downtime.”

The Oakland boys said the same.

“Riz? Creep?” Taza asked.

Riz grinned. “I’ve got a date with the bartender downstairs. Can’t, man.”

Creeper laughed. “Sure. I’ll come alone. If nothing else, I can dog sit while you take the Little Princess around.”

—----

In the bedroom, Hank was doing his damndest to keep Megan down for a little while longer. She was anxious about Taza presenting the idea to the club and wanted to be out there listening to them discuss it. However, the doc had said for her to lay down for at least another thirty minutes to give the shot time to work. He laid next to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Relax, mi reina. The club will be nothing but proud of you for this idea.”

“What if they aren’t though? What if they think it’s stupid or if they think it’s too dangerous or…”

Hank chuckled and kissed her silent. He deepened the kiss when she moaned softly before pulling back just enough to speak. “Mi amore - they won’t. And if they do - you’ll have plenty of time to convince them otherwise.” He kissed her again cradling her face in one of his giant hands.

Megan giggled. “If you’re going to kiss me to shut me up, I may never stop talking.”

He shifted himself to rest his hips between her legs and held his weight on his forearm with a grin. “I do think there are better ways to occupy your mouth than worrying, Princessa.”

“Mmm. Think I may need another example.” She lifted her head to kiss his jaw.

Hank lowered himself so she could feel his weight as well as reach him without moving anything she wasn’t supposed to. He tilted his head for her encouragingly. He knew he’d need a cold shower after this, but couldn’t bring himself to care.

Megan pressed nibbling kisses beneath his jaw to his ear. “This what you had in mind?” She felt the rumble of his laugh through his chest and throat.

“Not quite, but I guess turnabout is fair play…” he whispered, allowing his free hand to wander a bit until he felt her skin as she kept kissing. He shifted to catch her lips with his and felt her fingers in his hair. “Mmm. Good girl.”

Megan laughed and tried to raise her hips only to find his were holding her securely down. Her breath caught on a light moan. She tugged at his shirt with her hand. “Want it off…”

Hank smiled hugely and kissed her again before sitting up on his knees and pulling his shirt over his head by the collar. He bent and placed kisses along her stomach where her shirt had ridden up before laying himself back down against her. “Better, mi reina?”

Megan traced the lines where his arm bulged as he held his weight off of her with her good hand and nodded. She marveled at the strength of him and ducked her head to kiss his tattooed collarbones.

Hank shivered pleasantly at the feel of her lips on his skin. She was feeling brave tonight and he loved it. He used his free hand to slide her shirt higher over her low-rise jeans, feeling the texture of scars against his rough palms. He knew they were there, but didn’t know all their stories yet.

Megan nibbled across his tattoos, exploring a little. She didn’t want to push him, but she really wanted more. She shifted her torso to reach him better and hissed as suddenly her right side ached.

Hank pulled himself up and away from her. “Princessa?”

Megan whined at the distance. “No…” She tugged at him.

“Uh uh. What hurts?” Hank asked insistently. Hearing her hiss in pain had turned his hormones right off.

Megan growled. “I’m fine! I just moved wrong. You didn’t hurt me.” She reached up to cradle his neck with her good hand. “Come back here.”

Hank frowned and shifted to the side to lay against her good side. “No. What hurt? Talk to me.”

Megan threw her head back in frustration and bit her lip. “I just twisted when I squirmed. I’m fine. We don’t have to stop.”

He shook his head and brushed her hair out of her face before turning her chin to make him look at him. “Baby, no. I won’t let you hurt yourself trying to push your body when it’s not even half healed.” He leaned in to kiss her gently before feathering kisses across her cheekbones. “There’s no hurry, mi amore. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Megan closed her eyes tight and swallowed tears of frustration. “I love you too. It’s just…”

He gently tugged her onto her left side and cradled her against his chest, letting her bury her face in his tattoos. He knew it was sometimes easier for her to talk if she wasn’t looking at him. “Just what, Princessa? Talk to me.”

“I finally found someone that I want this with - for the first time in my life it’s my choice - I can make the choice to take this farther - and now I can’t,” she said quietly.

Hank pressed her closer to him and kissed her hair, rubbing her back soothingly. “I’m sorry, mi princessa,” he whispered. “I hate the implications of that.” He took a deep breath to control his emotions and tilted her chin up so he could meet her eyes again. “WE are always your choice. You know that won’t change, right?”

Megan nodded. “Except now…”

Hank dipped his head to kiss her with a groan. “Except now when I’ll hurt you if we go further.”

“We went further this morning and you didn’t hurt me, Hank.”

He chuckled. “I got carried away this morning. You’re so damn beautiful you fry my brain sometimes. I could have really hurt you if you’d moved wrong. If you’d over-balanced, I could have rebroken your collarbone catching you.”

She looked up at him through her lashes, “ But you didn’t.”

“Because you’ve got damn near perfect balance, but it’s still a major risk, mi amore. One that I can’t justify just because I’m horny.” He rubbed her back some more.

Megan buried her face back in his warm skin muttering, “You aren’t the only one.”

Hank laughed outright. “Let’s see what the doctor says tomorrow, hmm? There are other things to think about before we take this further too.”

Megan looked up at him a little curiously. “What other things?”

Hank’s face heated a bit. “Well for one - I don’t exactly carry protection, mi reina. Hasn’t really been an issue. And I know you aren’t on the pill…”

“Oh…” Megan said quietly and sat up so he couldn’t see her face. “Ummm… that’s… that’s a non-issue,” she said, not looking at him.

Hank sat up and reached for her to find her stiff with tension. “Megan… what’s wrong?”

Megan let her head fall forward so her hair hid her face from him. “Nothing.” She sat on the edge of the bed facing away from him.

Hank moved to sit behind her with her back to his chest and found her quivering. “Megan, Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you shaking?” He braced her against him but didn’t force her to face him. “Did I scare you?”

She shook her head, but kept her face hidden.

“Then what is it, Princessa? Let me help? Please?”

“Protection is a non-issue. I can’t get pregnant,” she said quietly, her voice shaking and coming out very strained.

Hank paused. He wrapped himself around her from behind, cradling and supporting her shaking body. “Something else you didn’t choose?”

Megan swallowed hard and nodded.

Hank pressed kisses to her temple and rocked her gently. “Ok. You don’t have to tell me, mi reina. You can if you want to, but you don’t have to.” He cleared his throat trying to swallow his emotions.

Megan was still tense. “I probably should have told you that sooner,” she said in a monotone. “I’ll understand if it’s a deal breaker. Tío Bishop will probably switch rooms with me if you’d rather…”

Hank froze before tilting her face to make her look at him. Her eyes were swimming in unshed tears as her lips quivered. He pressed his forehead to hers and made her look him in the eyes. “I love you, Megan. I love you because you are you, not because of some potential future. The fact that you can’t get pregnant doesn’t affect that, mi amore. There are other ways to have children if that’s something we decide we want someday. This changes nothing. Nothing. Do you understand me?”

Megan sobbed and lunged for him, wrapping herself around him as tightly as she could.

Hank held her tightly, pressing kisses to her where he could reach. He rocked her gently in his lap, shushing her and doing his damndest to reassure her with his touch.

Rex watched this all warily from his corner, but stayed there.

Hank soothed Megan as best he could, easing her to lay tangled with him. Her breathing eased slightly as he whispered to her in Spanish. When she quieted, he shifted to see her face where it was buried in his shoulder only to find her asleep in his arms.

Taglist:

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tinx-methinks · 1 year ago

Note

43, 44, 45, and 49! 💕

Thank you lovely~! I was hoping I'd get more than one of these. <3 Hope you're ready for this answer lol

43. Title of a book you own that’s in the worst physical condition you have. Explain what happened to it. Post a picture if you want.

I waited till now to answer this cause I wanted to include a picture of my shame and these books were tucked safely away in the back of my bedroom bookshelf where my partner was sleeping so I couldn’t get them. Confession time: I love reading in the bath. And in the days before my waterproof ereader I have destroyed a book or two simply by rereading it and exposing it to my wet and wild habit over and over. Please don’t judge me for the severity of these pictures, it was a different time.

All trigger warnings for severely abused books apply.

That is my copy of The Good the Bad and The Undead by Kim Harrison which is the second book in her The Hollows/Rachel Morgan series and the first one I read after finding it in my dad’s rejected books pile. It’s probably the book I’ve reread the most besides Reaper Man by Terry Prachett as I recall finishing it on occasions and immediately restarting it. I loved it. I actually own three copies of this book. This one. A digital copy in a full series omnibus. And another copy of the paperback bought recently as I’d love to own the entire series so I’m trying to pick the ones I’m lacking.

The second is my copy of Darkfever by Karen Marie Moning this is the first book in her Fever series which I to this day haven’t finished but at the time it was a favored because of its interesting world building, angst ridden characters, and of course the sexy potential of its (poorly aged!) love to hate ‘em alpha-male romantic interests. Still I used to wait for each new book of the series to be available at the library and while I waited I used to reread my copy of this one to keep the characters fresh in my mind. Funfact: I also bought a digital bundle of this series which I was reading as my “work book” (the book I only read at work) for a while. And I made it all the way to where I originally stopped. The last book in the original series, book five: Shadowfever. I made it halfway through it when the lockdowns hit and at that point I didn’t want to start reading my work book at home so I still haven’t finished it. That’s probably ok though, while I enjoy the nostalgia of the characters and world it’s not so great in 2023!

So yeah I think they’re both pretty banged up but I think Darkfever might be a little worse? It certainly feels worse to the touch! Pages clumped and stuck together and edges destroyed. Its more waterdamaged at least, but the other one is split down the middle so I guess that’s also pretty bad! I'm posting both tho because the other one def looks worse.

44. The book(s) whose stories have become part of your very makeup.

Reaper Man. Dragonlance: Chronicles, Legends, Tales, the Lost Chronicles, and the Raistlin Duology in particular. The Count of Monte Cristo. Cyrano De Bergerac, The Art of Asking. American Gods. Countless short stories, fairy tales, myths and legends. The first six books of The Hollows series by Kim Harrison also need to be mentioned. Particularly the one above. You can’t imagine how mortified I was when I got my partner to read them and he commented “Hey, you, like, took some of your personality from these didn’t you?” Yeah. Probably bruh. But you don’t have to call me out like that. Books five, seven, and eight of the Women of the Otherworld Series probably deserve an honorable mention for the same reason tbh. More recently I think the series of Bring Me Their Hearts, and The Library of the Unwritten definitely rewrote something in my brain.

45. What book(s) would you sell your soul to get a TV or movie adaptation of?

Listen the other day I was imagining a Monty Python style variety show adaption of Daniel M Lavery’s book Something that May Shock and Discredit You which a WILD PULL but the only answer I have for you right now. I think it would have animated parts like Python did but they’d be stylized like The Simpson’s animation. I don’t fantasize about adaptations but I think they really work best for children’s books so if you made me answer seriously I guess I’d go with The Tales of the Frog Princess by E.D. Baker and maybe that should’ve been in the question above too lol.

49. Do you prefer hopeful, humorous, very emotional or darker books?

I think I tend to err toward darker and angstier books. I get a lot of catharsis from them but I think most of the time books like The Bone Orchard or Leech or Iron Widow or whatever I’m reading that deals with dark topics usually benefit from that undercurrent of hope. I don’t think dark and emotional needs to lack hope and I tend to most enjoy ones that allow space for both.

That being said I read a lot and I think what I like most is having options and variety.

Asks for Bookworms here

#personal #me #asks #mxmoons #<3

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capsicrew · 6 months ago

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Okay, finally got home and was able to watch the new job trailer (and look at a short list of the updates)

Dragoon/Paladin- I don't play enough of either to really say. Lookin pretty cool with the dragon coming out of the ground and all the swords flying around.

Warrior- Also don't play as much, but I just leveled WAR up to at least 80, so I am impressed with all the big-looking attacks. Really keeping in that WAR spirit of just beating the shit out of your enemy.

Astrologian- I heard they took out the randomization part, which makes me sad. :( But when you get 3-4 cards at once anyway, it feels less dramatic. I hope this means cards maybe have more than just 2 uses split between them again. Also love the space explosions, still.

Dancer- Been a bit since I've DNC'd. Some of those big finishers are lookin nice.

Reaper- I'm not sure that much is different? Probably an effect of it being a more recent job. Like the big attacks--especially whatever that ranged attack was at the end the followed Hell's Egress or w/e. Probably a replacement for the proc'd normal ranged attack. I guess nothing too fancy for Ejvi until we get more BLU content and Beastmaster later on.

Red Mage- I'm glad there's a bit more to the aoe combo than just hitting the one attack (and I read that it now costs 50 black/white mana to cast that instead of the higher number. I always kept forgetting that). Like the big attacks--thought the new big finisher looked nice--Kola will love those big, flashy moves. I hope RDM gets a bit more mobility.

Machinist- Hooly cow--I was already excited about there being an even bigger saw blade that I saw in the benchmark video--but all those extra shooters during the hypercharge phase. Didn't look like anything new for automaton queen, sadly. Biggest disappointment, though, is that it looks like no change for the flamethrower. I hope it gets a damage buff to make it more worth using.

Ninja- Huton... is an innate buff. Finally .... FINALLY I don't have to fucking rush to get huton and hide in very fast before the tank pulls with no countdown the very INSTANT the entry gate is down. Anyway, everything else is lookin good, I'm excited to see how it all comes together on the play side. Bigger frog :0

Sage- Despite it being Capsisi's other job, I also don't remember Sage well, lol. Same as Reaper, I guess... not much seems very different. Just some bigger attacks.

Black Mage- YOU CAN MOVE YOUR LAY LINES. FINALLY!

Viper- Looks fun. When it hits that big burst, everything was happening so fast I wasn't sure where one attack ended and others began lol. Kola's really going to like playing this job.

White Mage- Ooohh... white mage gets a gap closer but SCH and AST don't okayyyy (lmao)

Monk- I heard they were changing a lot about this job's rotation, so it was a bit hard to compare. I liked seeing, like... overflow chakra. I think I read a lot of jobs are having some mechanics slightly changed to help avoid gauge loss and such. That's comforting.

Dark Knight- I uh... wish I remembered DRK better. Tanking makes me anxious, so I don't really play it in group content (healer less and less and less over time, too), so I forget some of those skills. Likin how it looks !

Bard- Kinda like that the songs aren't attacks any more. It wasn't always a problem, but will certainly be more useful for those times it would be. I also like that Pitch Perfect now does aoe damage. I think I read that the procs are getting combined into one proc, that'll be helpful when transfering from aoe to single target rotations, or vice-versa. That big music-magic attack at the end is cool, both visually and conceptually.

Summoner- Solar Bahamut, lmao I do like that as a contrast to "Lunar Bahamut." A shame the lack of job-specific quests means we wont be seeing much reason for its existence. I wish we could summon Alexander instead, lol

Samurai- Man, if I could remember which samurai attacks had which names, I could probably say more. I those different follow-up attacks to the main damaging moves. Beutiq is probably going to be too busy with a different job to worry about it...

Scholar- I was briefly impressed by chain strategem having a follow-up attack and then the player put on the angel costume and I was flabbergasted lmao. Jalliim putting on his magic angel costume to descend into aymeric's bedroom lmao (I really like it, is what I'm saying).

Pictomancer- I didn't watch the full explanation of the rotation, but I was really happy with what I was seeing in the job trailer. Pictomancer looks like its gonna be really fun, it's time for Beutiq to have a good time. I love the little chibi madeen. And I was laughing at the hammer. Just thinking about Krile and Beutiq holding their looney tunes ass hammers like just like lmfao

Gunbreaker- finishing strong on a job I barely remember lmao I'm sure the real GNB players are impressed

thats all I got, I'm excited about many of these additions

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vicious-vixxxen · 3 years ago

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SugarDaddy!Enji X SugarBaby!Male Reader <3

Not entirely sure where this came from, but couldn’t help myself once it started :3 nothing crazy, and kinda short, so apologies for that, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Prompt fills should be out later this month: In the midst of a move, so slow going getting fills, out, but hopefully soon <3 thanks for the patience, and the continued support. Much love to you guys! Enjoy :3 Sugar Daddy!Enji x Sugar Baby!Male Reader

(Sort of, kind of, it is but also not entirely the focus)

“What would you do without me, dad,” Fuyumi sighed, though her smile was palpable, even if Enji couldn’t see it- as she’d stepped behind him to lint roll his dinner jacket. Enji adjusting his watch, and catching the time, puffing his chest up a bit as he shooed his daughter back, and glanced at himself in the full length mirror once more, briefly. Enji would lie down and accept the sweet, bitter kiss from the grim reaper, before he ever told his daughter just where he’d found his date from. But, and as hard as it was to so much as admit it, Enji did know when to wave the white flag of defeat, and after three hours of trying to pick his own outfit, he’d shuffled off to her room and mumbled the bare minimum about having a date from an app tonight. Fuyumi had freaked out for all of ten minutes, before growing startlingly serious, and rifling through his closet for articles of clothing Enji had no idea were even there. And now...well, he looked more presentable than he had in ages. Granted, his wardrobe consisted of his hero suit ninety nine percent of the time, but still. Bidding Fuyumi goodbye was a whole other ordeal, but soon enough, Enji found himself- or rather, his driver, pulling up along the curb of the restaurant he’d asked you to. Not even a moment to gather himself, or suck in a few lungful's of crisp evening air, before his eyes landed on you. Your dazzling smile so bright, Enji had to keep himself from squinting, as you hurried over, and without so much as a hello first, threw your arms over the hero’s broad shoulders, and brought him down into a tight, warm hug. Enji squeezed back awkwardly, though your cologne was mouthwatering, and the feel of someone wanting to be in his arms almost made the older man dizzy, as he pulled back, and smoothed out the front of his jacket. Just to busy his hands, as you eyed him up, and your smile grew softer. More intimate. “It’s so nice to meet, finally. In person.” You laughed, gesturing for Enji to follow you to the front door, as there was already a man waiting to escort you back to your table. Well, Enji thought. Here goes nothing.

“You’re nervous,” you pointed out quietly- gently, reaching across the table to lay one of your hands over Enji’s much larger one: meeting the older man's gaze as he stopped jiggling his leg, and focused his full attention on you. “Observant,” Enji huffed, though not unkindly, as he took a deep breath, and reached up with his free hand to tug at the neck of his sweater. Cheeks flush, both from the heat within himself, and his nerves. You were much more...handsome? Pretty? Drop dead gorgeous?- than your profile pictures had given you credit for, and even then you were one of the most beautiful specimens he’d ever laid his eyes on, so that was really saying something. “I try to be,” you laughed, bringing your other hand around to sip at your champagne, before laying your glass-chilled hand over the other covering Enji’s, to clasp them on either side- just holding his hand, and smiling. Awkwardness creeping back up Enji’s neck as his throat worked around the words he couldn’t quite find. “I could talk, if you’d like? And you can interject whenever you’d like. No pressure to, if you’re not ready. I could probably talk enough for the both of us.” You we’re trying to cut the man some slack, bless his big confused heart. Your online chats hadn’t divulged much, though you did get the gist from Enji. Bad relationship with his children. Not too close to anyone of his own age. He was lonely. And so were you. You were also broke as fuck, but all thoughts of monetary value flew out the window the second you hugged the man when you’d arrived. Seen the restaurant he’d asked you to; and the private balcony dinner he’d arranged. Enji was trying so hard, and it made your heart beat a little too fast. Your smile almost too bright. “That...would be preferable, thank you,” Enji replied gruffly- though he cleared his throat after like he’d done it by accident. It only made you smile wider “Of course. A very considerate daddy you are,” you teased, referencing the website you met on jokingly- or at least, half jokingly- though the way Enji’s blush deepened had you stuttering around your first few sentences- glancing down suddenly as Enji turned his hand palm upward- holding your hands in return, as you laughed, suddenly, and began speaking smoothly. Squeezing the man’s hands in silent thanks, as he listened intently to you rambling on about your life. Where you went to school, what instrument you played, your favorite movies, and books. He really /listened/, grunting every so often to show you he was- and even interjecting with questions every so often; Enji really wanted to know about you. He wanted to listen. You’d never quite had anyone like that before. Not even close friends who cared enough to really listen to you. Your chest felt tight suddenly as you began touching on your most recent life happenings. Pausing slowly, voice getting quiet as you held Enji’s gaze, you lifted the older man’s hand to press a kiss to his palm. Snickering into it as Enji’s flames burst across his face at the contact. “Ah-Ahem. What uh...what’s that for?” He questioned, voice husky as he turned away slightly. Embarrassed at his flames for the first time since he was a pre-teen. “Just thanks, for listening,” you admitted with a shrug, kissing his palm again, even softer this time. Enji turned then, pure honesty in his gaze as he gathered his courage to speak clearly, “I could listen to you speak...for hours, if I’m being honest. You have..a lovely voice.” “Ah,” You nodded, your cheeks just as flushed as the hero’s as you swirled your champagne in its glass gently. Missing completely the way Enji’s face fell, and he withdrew his hands from atop the table, and back into his lap. The rest of the night went pretty much the same, though you noticed Enji seemed slightly more reserved, and gruff than before. Still just as attentive, still nearly mute, just more...withdrawn. Less open then he’d become as you spoke. It wasn’t until the date had come to an end, and he was escorting you out of the restaurant, and to the car he’d called to take you home, did you realize why. “Here you go.” Enji spoke quietly, yet clearly, crowding you in slightly so the valet couldn’t see the wad of cash he was holding out to you. Crisp bills neatly folded into a money clip, engraved with Enji’s initials. “Oh.” You’d almost forgotten by this point that this was sort of part of it. Or...well, it was the whole point, really. Or had been. “That’s….quite a lot of money,” You thought aloud, frowning at the way Enji’s brows drew down tightly, and he thumped the money into your chest gently. “I apologize for the evening. Please, just take it. It’s triple the amount we originally spoke of. Compensation for the poor company I’ve been.” You froze, staring between Enji’s eyes, that wouldn’t meet your own, and the cash being held out to you, Enji’s grip so tight on it his knuckles were white. /Oh/. So that’s what he thought. Earlier in the evening, your reaction to his sincerity, he’d read into it wrong. ….Sweet old man. “Silly daddy,” You sighed, smiling despite the situation- reaching up to tug out one solitary bill from the stack, before pressing Enji’s fist back into his own chest with one hand- the other snaking up and around the man’s neck, to ease him down to your level gently. “I can’t say I’ve ever had a more wonderful time with anyone before in my whole life. You listened, and saw me. And only me. For hours. I don’t think I can properly describe how absolutely wonderful that was. Truly. Silly,” You laughed again, watching the way Enji’s shoulders hunched, and tensed, a myriad of emotions flitting across his face, before he settled on bewilderment it seemed. The tiniest flames danced across his cheeks as you leaned up on your toes, brushing noses briefly, before capturing Enji’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss. Hand carding up and into the soft hair at the nape of Enji’s neck, scraping your nails through his scalp gently as your lips began to move against one another. Unsure, and hesitant, before that quickly melted away, leaving only the deepest desire, and want. A soft, needy noise leaving your mouth, that Enji swallowed up happily. Panting into your face as he pulled away, breath a wash of champagne, and the chocolate cake you’d both had for dessert. “Tip...for your driver,” You breathed, slightly dazed as you fell back into the car, feet firmly on the ground now- tapping your pocket where you’d slid the bill from the stack he’d held out to you at first. “I...should get going. But if I don’t have a text from you with the details of our next date when I get home, i’ll be one very disappointed boy,” You admitted quietly, cupping Enji’s cheek briefly- thumb sliding across his plump bottom lip, before you opened the back door of the car, and slid in. Wishing Enji a goodnight, before the door was shut, and you were being driven off towards home. Enji checked the time briefly as you pulled away, and once more when he finally was able to get his legs working again- nearly an hour had passed, in which he’d tried and failed multiple times to collect himself. Had that really just happened? The feel of his lips twisting up into a smile felt strange, and foreign for the pro hero. And as he walked home, to allow himself a chance to breathe finally, he began to laugh. Cupping his own face, and touching his lips, an incredulous laugh bubbled from deep within him as he threw his head back and allowed it to overtake him. Smiling in a way he hadn’t in...so, so long. Pulling his phone out, he immediately began texting you, checking your schedule for the next night, before suggesting going to a play. A quiet, private balcony just for the two of you. Close seats. Beautiful music. He could watch your reactions under the bright stage lights. It sounded fantastic. A text from Fuyumi chimed into his phone as he was nearly home, and still smiling like a love struck teenager. So? How was it!?-FT Enji sighed heavily, catching himself in a nearby shop window- looking too happy to be real, and recalling your words from earlier. Wonderful.-ET It was wonderful, Fuyumi.-ET

#bnha x reader #bnha x male reader #bnha x y/n #mha x reader #mha x male reader #mha x y/n #enji todoroki x male reader #enji todoroki x reader #enji todoroki x y/n #endeavor x reader #endeavor x male reader #endeavor x y/n #endeavor #enji todoroki #viciousvixxxen

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babytaes · 3 years ago

Text

the grim reaper(my home)

summary: Everyone depicts the Grim Reaper as a bad character, but he didn't kill you. It's just a trip to the afterlife, and he's actually being helpful by walking you there. Consider what it would be like if you had to travel alone. As she battles through life, Jay meets an unexpected figure, yet she doesn't seem to be terrified of him when he comes knocking on her door, why?

paring: jay x female reader

genre: angst, slight fluff

word count: 6k

warnings: profanity, ummmm rock chic jay.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: click me before reading!

➳ part of the drunk & dazed series

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

I wish that everyone knew how their lives ended. It's essentially a game of guessing what will happen to you. Don't even get me started on the subject of Heaven and Hell. You've heard it all, the misery and the heinous methods in which people go out.

But why did death come knocking on the door at such an early age? You'll never know why they chose this age.

You didn't have your entire life laid out for you, nah, what a waste. Seeing it, however, was strange.

Well, there's him, or whatever entity they're referring to. The Grim Reaper.

You didn't notice him until things began to go wrong for you. A black object flashed in and out all of a sudden.

It was more predictable than unexpected.

Usually you would see him after work but I guess he had other plans. Despite your exhaustion, you flopped down on the couch and pulled out your phone to conduct an online search.

You giggled as you aimlessly scrolled through your phone and eventually peeked up to see a dark figure seated across from you.

As you laid your phone down and peered at the figure, you said, "So he finally wants to show his face."

“Don't tell me you can see me right now?” he cocks his head and looks about before returning to you.

“Well, I've only seen glimpses of you for the previous few weeks, but now I'm seeing you in all your glory.”

“Shit” As he hurriedly shot back into the dark shadows behind him, he widened his eyes.

“Wait a minute, don't leave.”

He was still there, hidden from view. He wasn't ready to leave yet. As you moved over to the door, you rolled your eyes at your phone and grabbed your apron. As you put your shoes back on, you exclaim and awkwardly wave your hand in the air before closing the door.

“You better be here when I get back, and keep in mind that we have business to discuss."

He rolled his eyes at your strange conduct as he smiled gently before vanishing back into the dark abyss, now entirely gone from your home.

---

“So Jay, what's on the agenda in Reaper business?” He noticed his old acquaintance gleaming at him as he peered up from his chair.

“Well, Jake, the previous several weeks have been a complete nightmare. They paired me up with this tough guy who was fighting for his life. As he continued, he rolled his eyes.

“It's been quite tranquil since they reassigned me to another case, but something strange happened today. I inadvertently made myself obvious to her, but she was unconcerned.

“Weird.” Jake shook his head and cocked his head to the side as he called out to him.

“So, two pieces of information I just got: it's a girl, and she appears to be somewhat odd. When you get back, I'd like to hear more about this."

As you put on a strange expression, he smiled at the boy as he spoke about jobs he had recently gone on.

“Yeah, there's something odd about it,”

“I also—wait a minute, Jay, I recognize that look.” Jake pauses in his speech for a moment as he approaches you and analyzes your body.

“Please, dude, take a step back.”

He hears on the intercom times for a meeting today for all Reapers to attend, and he laughs at you. Jake makes a peace sign as he hits the door's slab and vanishes from view.

Sitting back in your chair, you raise your feet and begin to formulate a strategy.

“What am I doing here? I'm a doer. Let me just return to her and have that conversation she requested.”

He steps into form and vanishes back to the house he used to be in, softly cheering to himself.

Surprisingly, he can hear your voice but not yet see you, so he emerges from the shadows and takes a stroll through your home, taking in your life.

He saw photos of dogs and people he assumed were family and friends, as well as one thing that attracted his attention.

As he approaches it, he enters a familiar room and sighs as he makes his way to the gleaming object. It was a bracelet with scribing on it of some type.

When he reaches out to pick it up, he feels a searing feeling and drops it swiftly, muttering a torrent of curse words.

“What the hell was that?” When he looks closely, he notices symbols that resemble a cross.

“Fuckin Christ,”

“Do all Reapers barge into your house and search through their belongings on the spur of the moment, or is mine defective?”

Jay, who has jumped up in panic, apologizes by turning around and raising his hands. When he glances up, he notices you resting on the door frame, arms folded, staring at him.

“Well, let's just put this inconvenience behind us and have that conversation you wanted to have, hmm?”

“All right, let's go into the living room, and by the way, your style is really fashionable. I had no idea you people dressed up so well to steal souls. Are there any employment openings?”

As he comes to a halt in his tracks, you turn your head to face him and stare at his unmoving form.

“Hellooo, please don't tell me they gave me a defective one. Jeez”

For a brief moment, everything came to a halt as Jay regained his bearings. "That was strange. Why am I blanking out because she's so strange?”

With a shake of his head, he smiles at you and walks into the living room, where he sits across from you, still perplexed as to who and what you are.

It wasn’t human-like.

“Thank you, no one seemed to realize that the original reaper gear wasn't cutting it for me. Also, I'm presuming you're a young adult, so you know what I'm talking about.”

You pull closer to him, laughing at his words, and lay your elbows on your legs, intently listening to him.

“So Grandma was right, you guys do exist. Tell me more; you know I don't appear to have much time left, so give me your answers.”

He let out a chuckle as he hastily covered his mouth, daring not to be affected by the earth.

He'd been doing this work for quite some time and appeared to be quite confident in himself and his abilities.

But there was something about you that made him feel comfortable and at ease, and he didn't feel like he had to hide, very apparent when a patient screamed at him or when they insisted death hadn't arrived yet.

It was strange, but it was great not to have to put on a show. Outside of the Reaper, he almost forgot who he was for a moment.

Maybe this one could get to know you, the cool yet elegant Jay. Not the dark version of himself. Even if his ultimate goal is to accompany you to the hereafter.

Maybe, just maybe, in that slim possibility, he'll take advantage of this opportunity to learn more about this person and why they're so interested in you.

---

“Before we jump right into this game, I have a question for you: why aren't you terrified of me?” As he stared at your blank expression, he spat out.

“Well, as I already stated, my grandma was a firm believer in the unknown. Even though she is no longer with us, she has taught me a great deal about the supernatural and unknown.”

You got up and walked over to the kitchen, motioning for him to follow you before opening the refrigerator and taking some fresh fruit out.

Jay promptly stood up and walked over to the chair, where he sat, watching your every move as you leapt onto the counter and turned to face him, before placing a mango slice into your mouth.

“All right, my turn, what's your name and what's my illness?”

Jay coughed and sat up straight as he removed a piece of paper from his pocket and read it loudly before setting it down.

“Y/N Y/L/N, you've been diagnosed with Heart Disease, and things aren't looking well for you. I know you haven't been to the doctor in a while, which is also perplexing. And my name is Jay.”

You place the fruit down next to you and cross your legs before responding to his comment, shaking your head up and down.

“Well, that's true; it runs in the family, but I'm not concerned because time is never on our side, and we all have an expiry date, which I believe is approaching soon. Right?”

Jay knew you just had one week left, but he didn't want to break your cheerful mood, so he waited.

“Well, I can't tell you when you'll die just yet, but your time is running out. I'm sure it's terrifying, but-”

Before concealing your lips, you chuckle loudly. Jay snickered as he looked up at you.

“Man, you're such a strange person; how do you manage to be so confident and direct? I'm becoming a little afraid, and I'm the Grim Reaper.” You leap from the countertop and walk over to him.

You cocked your head to the side and placed your hands on his face, pushing your face towards him. As you smile, his face flushes, and as he pulls away from you, he coughs before moving his hand to encourage you to continue.

“You have nice eyes, you know. Okay, now I'll tell you my story. Instead of countless questions, I believe it would be simpler.”

He just nods his head and lets you continue talking about your life.

---

As we all crossed the bridge into the next city over, you glanced out the window at the water. You'd always enjoyed being near water. It brought up memories of trips you and your grandparents took together.

When you arrived at your location, you grabbed your suitcase and exited the vehicle, leaving your parents behind.

“Are you sure you don't want to join us?” As they drove out of the parking lot and onto their vacation, you shook your head and waved farewell to them.

Even though you were 17, you still enjoyed going to your grandparents' house because it provided a sense of security that you didn't have at home. So you'd take them in a heartbeat.

Looking up, you notice Pops standing at the door, arms outstretched, waiting for you.

“There is my favorite grandchild.”

“Gramps, I'm your only grandchild,” you said, laughing as you took him in your arms and grinned as you stepped into the house.

“Oh, that's right.” He takes your stuff and starts to take it to your allotted room while laughing together. “Your Grams is out back,” he shouts as he approaches the top.

‘Thanks” When you walk out to the backyard, you'll find her sitting in her iconic chair, surrounded by books, muttering to herself. She puts the book down and leans in to hug you as she stands up.

“Aww, I've missed you so much. There's just so much you can talk about with your grandfather before he falls asleep. Please have a seat; we have a lot to discuss."

There's a sensation you've been missing, a sense of belonging to a place you once called home. They were the only ones who could supply you with a sense of safety and security, and you couldn't get enough of it.

“We talked about witches and wizards the last time we were here. Now we're dealing with Reapers, or more precisely Grim.”

When she stated those two words, your eyes lit up; it was a favorite topic of yours that she brought up frequently, but now you had more time to delve deeper.

“Let's get started; we've got a lot of ground to cover. Allow us to see The Unknown by opening our eyes. “Are you wearing your bracelet?”

“I never take it off,” you say. You shook your right arm and returned your hand to hers, shaking your head.

As you were swept away in a dark mist together, you grinned and took her hands in yours. Even though they appear to be ordinary, decent folks, there is something you should know about my grandparents. They are one of many people who have gained entrance to the supernatural realm, a place where anything is possible.

You tried to inform your parents, but they were skeptical of fairy tales. They tried to prevent you from seeing them, claiming that "they will stunt my growth," which is ridiculous because I've learnt more from my grandparents than from my parents.

Regardless of how hard they tried to stop you, you always managed to find your way back to them. We were linked, and nothing could stop you until YOU chose to let it. That day, however, never came.

You found yourself in a boat, holding your grandmother's hand, as it carried you across a vast chasm and into town. You come upon another boat that appears to be some kind of creature with a scythe. As he traveled down the river opposite you, strands of golden hair protruded from beneath his hood.

“Wait, don't tell me that person on the river was you now that I think about it?”

“I think it was, man, that was a long time ago,” Jay laughed and shook his head. Also, I had no idea you had access to that world?”

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to the story.” As you spoke, he grinned.

“All right, honey, let's go; we can't linger for too long.” You both stepped off the boat and walked into town, taking in the sights. As you climbed the slope, merchants' stands and buildings crept up on you. It was weird to see individuals of all kinds here, going about their daily lives in the same way that those on the surface did.

You see vampires, werewolves, angels, and even ghouls all lingering together and with one another as you walk side by side with your grams. Despite the fact that they all had their own lives to live, they could join together to gather supplies and meals.

What a wonderful thing

You both entered a familiar building, and your grandma greeted the old man behind the counter.

“Oh, my favorite customers. What brings you down here and how is life above the surface? Another book you have in mind.”

Your Grams smiled as she let go of your hand and approached the man at the front of the bookstore, “you always know Melvin.”

As they conversed, you strolled through the big store on your way to the second floor. Before reaching the top, you yell out to Melvin.

“I'm hoping you'll let me take one.”

“Anything for my sweet Y/N, go ahead and look, there's a new one up there.” You hurried up the steps and across to the Book Wall, grinning ear to ear. From baby dragons to spell books, there was something for everyone. Anything you can imagine Melvin’s shop had it all.

When you took one off the shelf, you were greeted by a young boy who stood next to you. You couldn't tell if he was your age since down here, time moves at a different pace than it does on the surface. Still he looked quite young.

It was pleasant to see the creatures up close, even if you had never met them before. You stepped away from him, afraid of his reaction, and made your way to the chair sections. You sat down and picked up a book titled "The Origins of Reapers."

“How did you get here? I've never seen a girl human down here before.” You looked up from your book to see the boy you'd seen previously, frightened that he'd do something. You closed your eyes and shook your bracelet in front of his face.

As he waited for you to settle down, he laughed and sat next to you.

“I'm not going to harm you; all I wanted to do was ask a question. My name is Jake, what is yours?”

“My name is Y/N, and my grandparents have access to the world, so I tag along occasionally, may I inquire what you are?” you said slowly as you sat up straight.

He shifted in his seat and grinned, his face more dog-like. How could you be afraid of him?

“Well, don't be afraid of me since I'm a Grim Reaper in Training. I'm fairly innocuous. It's nice to see a human down here; normally, we only see humans when it's their time.”

You hear your grandmother calling from downstairs before he can continue.

“Coming”

You return his gaze and apologize as you rise, book in hand, and make your way to the stairwell.

“It was a pleasure to meet such a lovely human; please pay a visit to the Reaper Realm when you return. Simply request Jake.” He gave you a wave before yelling at Melvin.

“I'm leaving Melvin; my book is on your desk up here.”

As you return your attention to Jake, you hear Melvin's remark, but he vanishes into thin air as you descend the steps. Your grandmother expresses her gratitude to Melvin for the choice and exits through the front door.

“Are you all set to depart, sweetie?” With a shake of your head, you bid Melvin farewell as you close the door and return to the boat, where you sit down and take your gram's hand in yours.

"Let's go home," says your grandmother.

---

“So yeah, I've been traveling there with them ever since they introduced me to your world.” You came to a halt in the middle of your walk and coughed, wiping a tear from your cheek.

“My grandparents died a few years ago, and I haven't been back in a long time because I used to only go with them. It was doubly difficult because they both died on the same day, and she was telling me that she could see him on that day. I'm hoping she meant the Reaper, because they were the last thing to see them leave.”

You grabbed his arms on the spur of the moment and violently shook them.

“I know you must have records someplace, but could you please assist me in locating them as part of my dying wish? At the very least, let me see where they went; I need to know if they're okay.”

So this was the true you, the one in desperate need of a reconnection with the Gone. You received your response and devised a plan.

“Hey, don't worry... I'll see what I can do. But there's no guarantee. I wasn't on the case at the time, so I'll have to do some digging, but I'll try. “Can you tell me their names?”

Wiping tears from your eyes, you rose from your chair and dashed to your room, calling him over.

When you opened a box from under your bed, there were wonderful memories from you and your grandparents inside. You attempted to obtain more, but everything was returned to the Underworld, leaving you with only this.

Jay knelt down and picked up a photograph of you and them. They were regulars, and he had seen them around town. Hopefully, in the short time she had left, you could help her.

“Elizabeth and Albert Marvin were their names. I'm not sure if there's anything else I can do to assist you, but please do your best." As you hurriedly covered your mouth with your palm, a harsh cough came from your throat, and your chest began to throb as you placed your hand on your heart.

It was obvious that time was not on your side. You rise off the ground and walk over to Jay, looking up at him. You wrapped your arms around his frigid body, engulfing him in a hug.

Jay stood there awkwardly with his arms down as he gently moved you off and returned to the couch area.

“Like I said, there's no guarantee that I'll find them, and who knows, they could not even be alive. But I’ll try my best. It was a pleasure to speak with you, but I must depart because we are running out of time.”

He gave you a beeper before vanishing.

“Please page me on here if you need to reach me; I'll do my best to respond. You look after yourself.”

You waved farewell as he left your house and returned to his, where he continued his exhaustive investigation.

He didn't want to let you down because he felt such a responsibility to you. He would complete whatever task he was given. He would do anything for you if he could see that smile on your face.

“Let's get down to business.”

---

“Jay...Jay wake up” As you awoke slowly from your arms, you felt a push on your shoulder. As your eyes adjusted to the bright light, it took some time to figure out who was interrupting you.

“W-What exactly is it, Jake?” You and Jake have been coming in every day for the past five days, attempting to find a solution to your problem. Jake may have discovered something despite the difficulties.

“So, I just had an epiphany, last time I saw Y/N she was at Melvin bookstore, so let's see if he knows anything about them.” You leapt from your chair and snatched a jacket as you ushered Jake out the door and toward Melvin.

For you and y/n, things were starting to look up.

Maybe you were going to do something good for one of your friends souls.

As you and Jake approached Melvin's business, you inhaled deeply and opened the door, eager to hear what he had to say to you.

Melvin's attention was drawn to the bell sound, and he looked up from his spectacles, saying, "Hey youngsters, what brings you here?"

“Well, we had a question for you regarding an old friend of yours, does Elizabeth Marvin ring a bell?” He pulled a photograph from his back pocket and presented it to him; his face darkened as he held the photograph in his hands and smiled broadly at it.

“Oh, my favorite customers. I don't have much information, but the last time they were in here, they were in a hurry and seemed concerned. “We have to make the crossing,” Elizabeth kept emphasizing.

As you and Jake turned to each other, you both had a frightened expression on your faces.

“Don't tell me they took the Crossing, shit,” says Jay You turned around and proceeded towards the door, thanking Melvin, while Jake grinned and waved farewell before heading out the door. He discovered you slumped against the wall, head down, groaning.

“Jay, please don't thin-”

“Keep your mouth shut Jake, because you know no one survives the Crossing without a guide. There are just too many wicked spirits out there, and you and I both know that getting to the finish is impossible. Jay growled as he stood up and kicked whatever was closest to him.

“Ugh, why did I do that?”

Jake approached his friend and patted his back, unsure of how he would react. It was a small gesture. He knew it was impossible, but he didn't want his best friend to know. They still needed to be encouraged.

“I'm going back to headquarters to see what else we can find; meet me back there, okay?” As he watched Jake go from his sight, Jay nodded and thanked him for his assistance.

He didn't know what else to do, so he had to break the dreadful news to you. It turned out to be for the best. He was good at one thing: conveying bad information to others. What an ironic Reaper. With a shake of your head, you prepared to go to Y/N's flat.

Here goes nothing.

Jay was gone in a flash of dust and now stood in a familiar location, squinting as everything appeared to be different. Jay spotted clothes strewn on the floor, dishes scattered in the sink, and the bathroom's random lights flashing.

He was so preoccupied with the status of the house that he didn't see that your time was slowly eating away at you, that you were holed up under blankets in the bedroom with chest discomfort and dizziness that came and went.

Your once-young body was losing its ability to hold on to life. As you coughed loudly and grinned as you motioned for him to come over to you, you looked up and noticed him standing in the doorway.

You quietly sighed as you slowly climbed up, your hand resting on your chest.

‘So-so any news captain. “I need something to take my mind off the pain.”

As he prepared his message, Jay didn't make eye contact with you as he lifted your blanket over your body and patted it down. This felt different than relaying bad news as the “BIG AND BAD GRIM REAPER” As he was going to burst your bubble, something inside ached. What do people refer to it as? Sadness.

What exactly did you do to him?

“So, Y/N, please wait until I finish before you speak.” He took a big breath and continued, his lips curling in. “We've at a dead end; Jake and I spoke with Melvin, who indicated they were discussing the "Crossing," which in Grim Reaper lingo means "no go." That's a place where no one ever returns; it's only conceivable if you have a guide, which I'm not sure they did. They could be lost or worse, stolen by a spirit, for all I know. I-, I'm sorry, but I'm not sure.”

He heard your voice and looked down, avoiding eye contact. "It's okay Jay," He jerked up and glanced at your frail form, perplexed and terrified. In the light of your candle, he could see better, but death was creeping up on him. He just had a day before he had to take you. He wasn't pleased with the situation or with you.

“It was a big ask, but I'm happy you and Jake did your hardest,” you said, a tear streaming down your cheek. That's all I requested, and despite the fact that it didn't work out, I liked the gesture, so thank you.”

“Thanks for doing business with you,” you said with a grin on your face as you extended your hand to him. As you looked him in the eyes, he took your weak hands in his and gently shook them.

“What, do I have something on my face? I don't want to appear unkempt.” You laughed and reached for your hands to be unlatched from his grip. Rather than releasing go, he drew you closer to him and kissed your gentle lips.

As you released each other, he wasn't thinking; in reality, he was panicked.

“Um- I don’t know what that is but I have to go. Sorry, I'll pick you up tomorrow-” “Please don't go,” you said as you took a big breath and clutched his hand. If I'm being honest, I'm afraid, and I could use some companionship before I take my final breath.”

“Sleep well y/n, we have a long walk tomorrow,” he said as he sat down on the bed and took your hand in his again before turning off the lamp. When you felt a squeeze in your palm, you smiled and laid over, allowing sleep to take control.

---

You were startled awake by Jay, who sat across from you, peering at the clock, as though intently staring at it.

You scooted up and waved a hand in front of his face to grab his attention, but he continued to stare at the clock.

“You have a few hours left, you know? Sorry, I was just doing some math." He turned to face you as you stumbled out of bed, grasping the bedside table before lifting yourself up like a drunk woman.

“Oh, well, it appears that my body is shutting down. Fun.” As you pushed him out of the room, you gave him a thumbs up.

“Let me get dressed; I want to look my best for when I DIE!” Jay was startled and furrowed his brows as he walked slowly to his seat, pondering why this generation was so eager to die.

You put on a cute hoodie your grandmother gave you and threw on some pants. As you fumbled about for shoes, you heard Jay ask a question from the other side of the door that made you pause.

'Are you going to call your parents or someone else?'

When you think back on your life, you were in theirs, but not much of them were in yours, which made you resentful of them. You didn't dislike them; you just preferred to spend your time and energy with people who made you feel at ease.

Your grandparents made you feel that way and you didn't have time to waste on people who you could care less about.

“I guess I'll send a text over.” Huffing, you took out your phone and entered your message into an already-created group chat.

"Hey guys, I'm not feeling well, could you come tomorrow?" you say.

(read 10:25 a.m.)

(typing bubbles)

(bubbles disappears)

Mom: This is such a last-minute thing, but your father and I are leaving tomorrow for a business trip that will last a week. Maybe when we come back. I'll send Sylvia over because I gave her the day off. “Be careful.”

Throwing your phone you yelled aggressively as you looked around your space. Even while you're dying, they don't give a damn about you. What is fucking family anymore? You took one final look at your bed before stepping out and calling Jay, as if you didn't care any longer.

“Hey you good, I heard screaming but didn't want to interrupt if you were nude or something,” he said, looking up at your hesitant face. As you passed him on your way to the door, a smile crept across your lips.

“Oh shut up, come on, I got a request.”

Jay got up and walked past you as you turned to see your whole life stored away in a small space. Even if you didn't know where Jay would lead you, you had a feeling it would be better, right?

“Goodbye” As you walked slowly to your car in the parking lot, you grabbed Jay's hand in yours as you closed the door. As you held his hand even more, you felt it tense up.

“Hey what was that for?”

“You whine a lot, don't you? Come on, I've got a few more dying wishes before you take me and send me off somewhere, let's fucking go.”

He saw you let go of your hand as you walked to the opposite side of your car, hopped in, and turned on the ignition.

“Are you sure you're up for this? I don't want you passing out on me.”

Jay rushed next to you as he reached for your shoulder as a cough steadily burst from your throat, causing you to grasp your chest in anguish. You shook your head and gave your body a couple shakes as you waved your hand at him.

“I'm good, you know the exact time, so give me a heads up whenever I'm close.” “Anyway, less about my condition and more on the fun we're about to have.”

You put your foot on the brake and drove out the parking lot and on your way to the boardwalk that was a good distance away.

“Sit back, it'll be around 2 hours before we get to my favorite spot.”

Jay offered you a troubled expression as he laid his head on the window, pondering the time you had left while gazing out the window.

*8 hours left, you had eight hours left*

---

Coming up over the infamous hill, you notice the blue seas and immediately begin to brighten up as you repeatedly punch Jay in the arm.

“Jay... Jay... JAYYYY loook were here,” He grabbed your hand and swung it the other way before slowly turning to face you before your final punch. Don't bother Reapers while they're asleep; they don't get enough sleep as it is, and constantly bringing souls is exhausting.

“Please stopp I heard you the first five fucking times.” As he turned back to face the water, he rolled his eys and chuckled a little. The way the waves drenched the salty surface back and forth was more than simply water; it was an artwork.

Even though this might be your last moments on earth, you were glad you found someone to spend them with as you saw Jay's look. You put your hand on his shoulder and signaled for you to depart.

He stepped out of the car, mesmerized by the quiet waters, and walked over to your side, his gaze never leaving the sea.

“It's strange, I've seen my days of oceans before, and I've probably gone to all of them many times, but this one feels different. For a little moment, I forgot I wasn't human. Oh that remind me”

Jay rotated in a circle as he appeared to you dressed in more fashionable attire to placate the human crowd. He clutched your arm as he lost his footing for a second, then raced forward towards the boardwalk, thanking you.

“Hurry up, I didn't transform into a normal male for nothing, I want to see what you folk do up here.” He sneaked a glimpse at you as you laughed heartily at him, and before he knew it, you were running past him, his hand in yours, and on your way to the boardwalk's many attractions.

Spilled ice cream cups, lost money from arcade games, the sides of yours and his faces scorching from a lack of sunscreen, and not to mention the continual brushing of each other's hands were all part of the day. You took Jay's hand as the crowds filtered off the boardwalk and brought him to one of your favorite areas, the sand. As you approach the ocean now that the sun has lowered somewhat, it feels chilly.

As you stand in the cool ocean, letting the waves wash over your feet and taking a deep breath, attempting to relax, you feel a touch on your back. When you open your eyes, you notice Jay standing next to you, his gaze fixed on you. You laughed and placed your head on his shoulder; he didn't flinch or react this time.

He'd become accustomed to it and even loved it.

“How much time do we have left? Will I miss the sunset? Please say no.” You drooped your lips and glanced towards him, anxiously awaiting his response.

“Don't worry, you'll have time,” he said, taking your hand in his and pulling you down further away from the water as you both watched at the ball of light travelling toward the horizon.

The dazzling and flaming sun began to be swallowed by the sky as nightfall approached. The sky suddenly fills with beautiful, rich colors ranging from soothing blues to powerful reds and bright oranges, and finally thin, melancholy clouds.

Jay drew you closer, which surprised you, but you didn't mind because it was getting colder and fewer people were leaving the beach, leaving fragments of people strewn about. Jay drew your attention to himself before relaying the news to you.

Allow me to speak before I say what I truly need to say; these past three weeks have been incredible and eye-opening. I had no idea there were individuals out there that battled and were as brave as you. I understand how difficult it must be to go through all of these changes, but-”

A tear trickled down your face as you coughed, interrupting his speech.

*10 minutes left*

“Oh don’t start crying,” “All I wanted to say is thank you for allowing me to experience something different than my typical routine,” you joked as you pushed his chest. I don't get out very often, but tonight was enjoyable; I hope it distracted you from your worries.”

As you clasped your chest and pulled Jay out of worry, a fast cough attack hit your system.

*5 minutes left*

“I-i woul-l-d love to talk more about our fond memories but my chest is hurting and I think you need to get to the point.” You unbunched his shirt from your fist and let him continue, smiling despite your pain.

He embraced you in his arms because he was afraid he wouldn't have enough time to relay everything.

“Fuck it”

He drew you in and kissed you again, this time more passionately than before. Your heart skipped a beat as heat rose from your stomach to your chest, and you weren't sure if it was a legitimate emotion or your condition was approaching. As you drew him closer to you, flinging your arms around his neck and smiling, the fragrance of salty sea water filled your nostrils. This moment, the taste of him… It calmed your racing thoughts and made you feel as if your heart was slowing down.

*1 minute left*

As you backed away from his kiss, your eyesight faded in and out, and as you looked about, your vision in the inner corners of your eyes started to go black. It was occurring, and your time was running out. You staggered into Jay's arms as he spoke into your ear, looking back at him.

“See you on the other side Y/N”

---

When you first awoke, you peered around at the dark waters, then looked up to see the real Jay. His Scythe's blade gleamed in the moonlight, and his velvet hood blew in the breeze. Not turning around you heard his voice, distinctly differently than before.

“Get ready, we're closing in on our dock.”

You slowly stood up and felt a prickling sensation on your wrist as you noticed your bracelet was lightly shining, something it had never done before. Perhaps it was the moonlight reflecting off of it.

You observed three figures standing at the dock through the mist and tried to figure out who they were. You didn't realize it until you got off the boat.

“Gramps and Gram, what?” Your voice trembled as tears streamed down your cheeks. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Is this a joke,” As you grabbed them in a deep hug, a hand pushed you closer to them.

“We missed you pumpkin.” You turned around and went towards the dark figure, making sure not to hit his Scythe as you drew Jay into a hug as you got snot on his coat.

“I thought you said you couldn't find them,” you remarked. “I had given up hope.” His face was obscured by a black gloom, so you couldn't see him.

“Um, sorry but could you change back to your normal self, just this once.” Jay reappeared in his usual body, simply regular old Jay, in a split second.

“I apologize for forgetting about that, but please don't thank me. It was all my pal Jake over there.” You turned around and raced over to Jake, hugging him and almost shoving him off the dock.

“Thank you thank you so much, I owe you one.” “Don't worry about it,” he said as he stepped back.

After letting go of him, you returned to the location where your grandparents were standing and took their hands in yours. It was time for you to leave, and all you had to do was walk away.

As tears streamed down your cheeks, you came to a halt and turned around to face him. It didn't take long for you to run back into his arms.

“I'm not usually this way, but I'm glad I found someone I can call a friend.” Jay, I hope we run across each other. Thank you for everything; I just wanted to let you know that your efforts are appreciated.”

You let him go and wave to him after pulling him into a goodbye kiss. You hear him calling out to you.

“I think I like you Y/N?”

“Well, I think we should talk about that the next time I see you.” You turn back and continue on your journey, giggling at his childish antics as you fade into the darkness.

As he and Jake hopped back into the boat to return home, Jay's smile never faded.

“I told you so”

“Oh shut it.”

He'd finally found that thing you'd always talked about, that haven where you felt so comfortable that the rest of the world couldn't possibly come crashing down around you. He was overjoyed to have discovered his HOME and vowed to do everything in his power to ensure he never lost it.

“See you soon Y/N.”

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

➳ Navigate to the Maze

#enhypen #enhypen writers #enhypen series #enhypen jay #enhypen jay park #jay park #jay #jay enhypen #enhypen reactions #en-#kpop au #enhypen au #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen masterlist #babytaes works

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beastenraged · 3 years ago

Text

I really love Nagi in Neo TWEWY. And part of that might be because of how autistic she reads to me. How I relate to her, I suppose, with my own autism.

She’s got a super intense special interest in Elegant Strategy. She also seems younger than she is, something that happened to me all the time as a person with autism in college. (So many people thought I was in high school! And one notable time, middle school!)

She also speaks rather formally, most likely mimicking her favorite characters to interact with people around her. Nagi’s in-depth understanding of her companions’ thoughts and actions reads to me of much time spent studying social interactions, to better talk with people. As does her rivalry with Fret, which might have been formed originally from mild jealously of how easily he talks with people. (Like her lines about how they are different types of people or “creatures” comparing herself and Fret).

And I love all the more how the game never mocks her for it.

It may seem odd at start, with her merch all dedicated to Elegant Strategy. As does her reaction to Shu looking exactly like her favorite character.

But the game does not shame her for special interest. There’s a number of times Elegant Strategy comes up, as we help a girl struggling on if she should speed through a recent chapter or not, or the Announcer Reaper as he figures out what to do in his spare time. Shu himself doesn’t blink an eye at Nagi’s almost hero worship, which is honestly a much better reaction than the game using him as a tool to point out “haha isn’t it funny how this man doesn’t like this weird girl at all?” We even get a scene of Nagi recommending the game to Shoko and Shoko even considering playing it when she has the time.

Her formal speech is never made fun of and her teammates are always sure to listen to what she has to say. Her power Dive is considered one of the most powerful in the entire game, even! Nagi isn’t treated as the butt of a joke as so many similar characters are.

In the third week, we get some of the best interactions between her and other characters. Where she knows that they will be struggling on Day Five and she steps up to the plate to act as a support for them all.

In conclusion, Nagi just might have autism but she’s clearly neurodivergent and the game does not punish her for it. Instead, it celebrates it.

#neo twewy spoilers #neo twewy #long post #character meta #twewy nagi usai #man i love this game #autism coding #also shu is autistic but in a different way

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nanamisflowerfield · 4 years ago

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Hi! Could you please do some Kuroshitsuji headcanons for Undertaker, Grell, and Ceil, with a s/o who had recently got the hanahaki disease(if you don't know what hanahaki is it's just a disease from one sided love that can make you cough up flowers. It can only be cured by having the other love you back, or surgery)?

Hey! Of course! I love the hanahaki disease AU so much! Always wanted to write it but never have... So thanks for the request! I will try to do it well! (´｡• ω •｡`) I didn’t know if you wanted to have it fluffy or angsty so I made it angsty... (>﹏<)

Many fans argued about Grell/Grelle’s pronounce and I’ve read many different things too, which is why I will use they/them for Grell. Sorry, if some people won’t be happy about it! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

I will also edit it later to put pics in there. Didn’t find any good ones I might want to use, so sorry if they don’t have any yet! (〃＞＿＜;〃)

Warning: Angsty! (no happy ends)

Hanahaki Disease AU

⚰️ “Oh my, how interesting!” Said the whitehaired man, as he glanced into the trash can. How it seemed his dear friend had a little secret!

⚰️ In there he found several flowers strained in the purest bloody red he could ever find, but some one tried to hide it from him, how it seemed.

⚰️ Now his fun had begun.

⚰️ “(Y/N).” You heard him voice call you, when you helped him out in his funeral parlor. Glancing back at the giggling mess, you called a friend and behind his back a crush, he threw something at your direction. Thanks to your fast reflexes you caught it items he just threw a second ago to you.

⚰️ It looked very similar to a bloody flower you tried to hide…

⚰️ “Looks like someone has the hanahaki disease!” He chuckled and wiggled with his eyebrows. “Sooo, who is it?” But the old Grim Reaper never got an answer, because you run out as fast as possible.

⚰️ Of course the old man would laugh at it! It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t great. You were in pain for so many weeks. Months! You were coughing and coughing, sometimes even choking on these damn flowers, hoping that your love for this maniac will soon disappear, but it never did. You wished it so much, but how did idiot made you fall for him even more?!

⚰️ No matter how often you tried to hide yourself from this man, he found you, asking you why your disease still didn’t disappear, asking you who you loved, asking you why your beloved didn’t love you back! Why for goodness sake did he had to be so charming and annoying at the very same time!?

⚰️ “Leave me alone!” You yelled at him, as more flowers came out of your mouth, trying to choke you.

⚰️ “You know… If you really hate this flowers so much, why don’t you just-?“ - “No.” You interrupted him.

⚰️ Surgery? No thank you. You were to scared to never fall for somebody ever again. Losing the funny memories of him…? This great and warm feeling you had, whenever you thought of your dearest Undertaker?

⚰️ Everybody said that love is great. It makes you happy, but it also has one price. Pain. Yes, that is truly a feeling that you know too well. You felt it every day, not because of the long-haired man, not, because of your disease.

⚰️ You knew that Undertaker loved his “guests” and the dead more than anybody else. There was nothing that he loved more and that is why, you were so sure, that he would never love you back. Undertaker wasn’t somebody who would easily love another living person. He was different and he only wanted to have strange and funny things in his life, which is why you always thought of yourself as not worthy for him.

⚰️ But some weeks later, you sat there under the table, staring at the blood strained flower in your hand, when you heard a knock on your door. “(Y/N)!” You heard a giggling voice. Undertaker.

⚰️ Will you let him in? Will you tell him what you choose? To take the surgery? Risk so many things or just keep on going…?

👠 Every time you heard a specific person screaming “Sebastiaaaaaan!~ ❤️”, you just rolled with your eyes. But how comes, that your heart was yearning for that one person so much, that didn’t love you back.

👠 Grell had only they eyes on Sebastian and it made you jealous and angry. Couldn’t the redhead love you too? But of course not. You will probably never be as great as the black-haired demon.

👠 One day, you woke up, after realizing that you had strong feelings for the crazy Grim Reaper, you rushed to the bathroom, feeling something in your throat, but no matter how much you coughed, it didn’t come out until your eyes started to tear up. Was it… blood? Why did you taste blood? What was going out? When you coughed harder and harder, it finally came out of your throat. Flower petals and blood. Shocked, you stared at it. No… Why…? Why did that happen?!

👠 You knew from day one that you’ve got that horrible disease, because of Grell. No, he wouldn’t want to hurt you, for you two are good friends, but the long-haired Grim Reaper did not love you back. That is why you coughed flowers up, felt this pain, had to clean your clothes from your blood. It was because of your hurtful one-sided love!

👠 “He looked so wonderful; don’t you agree?! ❤️ Just so perfect and so-… Mh? (Y/N)? Are you alright? Why are you coughing so much? Do you want me to get you something to drink?” You shook your head.

👠 Nothing could help you with your problem, except if one of two things happen to you. Either Grell loves you back or… a surgery. You were sure, that the one you loved from the bottom of your heart, would never love you back but a surgery? Was it really necessary? If you will choose this, you will never love Grell ever again. Some people even told you, that they lost their memories of their beloved ones and some others of the ability to ever love again.

👠 Day after day passed and here you stood. In front of your trash can, looking at the flowers you used to love before you’ve got your disease. They were so beautiful, but they were strained with your red blood. It smelled horrible and looked disgusting in there. You never wanted to see it ever again.

👠 Grell’s eyes widen when he walked into your room, to ask you for your opinion on their new outfit, but when the redhead couldn’t find you, he noticed the smell of blood. Slowly, they walked to your trash can to see the flowers and immediately knew what sign it was. He knew of this disease. Why was somebody so horrible and didn’t loved you back? Afterall you were Grell’s best friend! The Grim Reaper knew you better than anybody else! But he never realized that you have fallen for somebody!

👠 Quickly they followed a loud noise, Grell heard nearby and saw you lying on the ground.

👠 You looked so sleepy on the ground. So tired. In your weak hands you held three bloody flowers, while the other was in front of your mouth, keeping it shut.

👠 “Hey, (Y/N)! Come on! Wake up! Tell me, what should I do?” Grell panicked.

👠 Now you had to choose… Will you have that surgery or will you live until the day the flowers close your throat and let you sleep there where the Grim Reaper never wanted to see you in for, they will never reciprocate your feelings

♕ “Should we continue, or do you prefer something else, (Y/N)?” Asked the one and only head of the Phantomhive house. “What are you thinking about? You are distracted. Our entire chess game.” – “Mh? Nothing.” You lied and Ciel knew it.

♕ So what exactly was going on in the head of yours? Some might think important business thoughts and some others mayhap that you were thinking about the usual things people in your age thought about. But the truth was… Nothing.

♕ The only thing you did on your chair was actually to not start coughing.

♕ The reason? Ciel. You fell for him. Hard. Which was not a good idea, because you knew him. You knew every secret of him. He not only told you about it, because you were a dear friend of his and he trusted you, but also because he saw you as a sibling.

♕ It hurt you, but this wasn’t the only pain you felt for the couple of weeks, no. It was the pain in your body.

♕ Everyday and every night you coughed up big flowers and flower petals, only because your feeling weren’t reciprocate.

♕ A few friends even told you, that it could be possible for him to fall for you, but you never believed them. Sure, he didn’t love his fiancée like you loved him, but he only had his eyes on one thing. His goal. The one and only reason for him to summon a demon and make a pact with it! Revenge.

♕ Even thought you never liked the idea, you supported him, thanks to your strong feelings. This very warm feeling you held for him, which guided you towards him.

♕ It made you sick.

♕ So sick, that you started coughing again and rushing out of the room, while Ciel called after you and run a few steps after you until he glanced down to see a small bloody flower petal. Was it always there…?

♕ But Ciel was smart. Very smart, which is why he figured out why you have run away.

♕ He knew of your love for him and tried to reject you gently, which made your disease worse than it already was.

♕ It started with you coughing them to you nearly choking on them, desperate to breath, always grasping on something while the most beautifulest flowers left your body. Petal after petal.

♕ Ciel even suggested to help you find a doctor, but you declined it. It was your problem and you were old enough to make your own decisions! You wanted to choose it on your own if you wanted to have this surgery or… well… Sleep forever…

♕ But the day has come, where you stood in front of Ciel and told him your decision and hopefully he will support you like in all those years he stood by your side…

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flyingfish1 · 4 years ago

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was ‘healing & wholeness through death’ always Dabb’s intention

Content note: discussions of suicide attempts, including quotes from the show on that topic; and the concept of death as the solution to problems

Mary should have been the blaring warning siren and I didn’t listen.

Castiel: I'm looking for someone. Dumah: Mary Winchester? If that's why you're here, then you should leave now. Castiel: Why? There may be a way to bring her back. Dumah: Why would you want to do that? … She is at peace. You know, she died painlessly. Instantly. Completely. She's in Heaven, a special Heaven. Mary Winchester is complete. You and the Winchesters may not be. But she is. -14x18 (Robert Berens) -transcript from superwiki

“Completeness” in death. Mary, now dead and in Heaven, is “complete,” says the story. And, in this moment in s14, the Winchesters and Cas are apparently not “complete.”

Mary, who initially didn’t want to be alive:

Mary: I didn’t ask to come back here. Billie: No, you didn’t. And you hate it. The look in your eyes – I’ve seen it before. It’s a dead man’s look. Eyes that say no matter where you go, what you do, it feels like this world doesn’t fit anymore. Like you’re all alone. Dean: Well, she’s not alone. Billie: Tell me I’m wrong. [Mary doesn’t answer] I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you mercy. One way ticket upstairs. Away from all of this. [Mary hesitates] Mary: How would it work? Sam: Mom! Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well, then -- [She looks at Sam and Dean, then turns to look back at Billie] Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. -12x06 (Steve Yockey)

Mary, who struggled so hard with being pulled out of her heavenly paradise and given her life back. Mary, who struggled to get over the loss of her husband, and the loss of her previous life, and the loss of the two little children she had wanted to raise.

Mary, who held a gun to her own head more than once. Mary, who, at one point, sincerely begged Ketch to kill her:

MARY LEANS UP AGAINST MR. KETCH, GRABS HIS GUN AND BACKS AWAY. MR. KETCH: Mary MARY COCKS THE GUN AND PUTS BELOW HER CHIN. MR. KETCH: No. MR. KETCH GRABS FOR THE GUN AND MANAGES TO KNOCK IT AWAY AS IT GOES OFF. MR. KETCH: Ow! Ah! MARY: Then you do it! Kill me. All my life, all I ever had, other than my family, was my will. MARY BEGINS TO CRY. MARY: And it's going away. I'm – I'm putting people in danger. I'm putting my sons in danger. You have to – MARY DROPS TO HER KNEES. MARY: Please. For God's sake, kill me. MR. KETCH: Mary. MARY: Just do it! MR. KETCH: Mary, listen to me. It won't be long now. This will all be over. I promise. MARY: No. MR. KETCH: I promise. MARY: No. KETCH WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM AND LEAVES MARY IN DESPAIR. -12x21 (Buckleming) -transcript from superwiki

Mary later rejected death, although looking back at it now, in retrospect, she rejected it not quite so much on the basis of “living is good, actually,” but more on the basis that Heaven isn’t good enough (… not yet, as it turns out):

[Kevin tears open his shirt revealing a sigil carved into his chest.] … KEVIN: Michael says… that when I get to Heaven-- when he lets me into Heaven-- I'll get to see my mom again. MARY: I've been to Heaven, and what's there… it's just memories. Nothing's real. -13x20 (Glynn) -transcript from superwiki

(I was so happy for her when I first watched this, because I thought it was a sign that she would be turning the corner and getting the opportunity to heal in life, and on a long-term basis. But………….)

Mary then did find strength and purpose in her life and her job – hunting, helping Jack, helping the AU World hunters. She came back to Sam and Dean’s world and forged stronger relationships with them. She started a romantic relationship with AU Bobby, although it seems that she had her troubles with it:

MARY: Bobby's not open like your dad. SAM: Wait. Like my dad? MARY: Okay. At least he's not like your dad was when I knew him. SAM: Right. MARY: Bobby's got walls, big ones. I just don't know if I can do that if I even ever put myself out there again. -14X05 (Glynn)

Her one true love, ultimately, was John. And then, in 14x13, she was hit hard by the loss of John just after getting him back again:

SAM: Uh, the, uh… the lore is pretty clear. We destroy the pearl, and it unwinds all of this. Dad goes back… and so will everything else. MARY: And he won’t remember anything? [SAM shakes his head.] SAM: No. [MARY nods. She shakes her head, crying.] MARY: Sam, I can’t.

[JOHN and MARY take each other’s hand.] MARY: I hate this. JOHN: So do I. … My girl. [MARY smiles through tears.] JOHN: I miss you so damn much. MARY: Me too. -14x13 (Dabb and Glynn) -transcript from superwiki

Mary’s next episode, 14x17, is her death.

(In between, we have 14x14, with Cas’ speech to Jack about appreciating the time they have with their short-lived human loved ones, and carrying on when they are gone. At the time I suppose I thought it was foreshadowing for Mary, but in retrospect it’s broader than that, isn’t it.)

So, at the point of Mary’s death, she’s not actively suicidal anymore. But her losses have been recently emphasized, and so has her pain. Her husband is dead.

And then comes 14x18 and her “completeness.” We find out in 14x19 that she and John are sharing a Heaven. She is at peace, we hear, because she is with her husband in the afterlife.

All in all, in retrospect, this concept of “completeness in death” – of having death be your reward and your happy ending – pervaded the Dabb era from the start. We learned as early as 12x19 that Jack would build a “paradise,” and now we know what that paradise is: this remodeled Heaven in which Dean can, apparently, have what wanted but couldn’t have on earth and in life. Dean, who -- though he wasn’t actively suicidal in 15x20 -- has also struggled mightily with wanting to be dead, and who has been suicidal in the past.

It results in this concept that, as long as you’re not actively suicidal (anymore!), dying at the age of 41 (or approx. 32, in Mary’s case) is fine. This concept that it’s good, actually, because then you’ll be whole and at peace.

I find this deeply disturbing. I know that the ‘reunited in Heaven’ concept works for some (and I think I wouldn’t even necessarily have a problem with it if it were explicitly shown to be happening at the end of a long and happy life). But as presented in canon, involving the characters that it does, with their lives being cut short the way they are, I do find it deeply disturbing. Personally, I’m finding myself (emotionally speaking) backing away from the entire Dabb era with my hackles raised.

And I feel stupid for not seeing it. Or, truthfully, for seeing some of it and then convincing myself that it wasn’t there, that I was wrong, that TPTB couldn’t be leading the story in that direction. For, I guess, buying into what I read as the Carver-era ‘retirement’/‘living a long and happy life’ themes so hard that I didn’t let myself focus on anything else. For always being half-afraid that TPTB would re-fridge Mary, so that when they finally did it I just went, “Well, that’s that :(” without examining the themes around it closely enough.

For not taking all the warning bells seriously.

I want to make sure to say this clearly: It is absolutely possible to heal in life. Friends, and loved ones, and old relationships and new relationships, and love, and loyalty, and peace, all exist in life, able to be found and created. Healing exists in life. Contentment. New experiences and excitement and joy and beauty. Nobody’s too traumatized for that. Dean and Mary deserved that. Everybody does.

#Dean Winchester #Mary Winchester #Andrew Dabb #Dabb era #my thoughts #spn #spn meta #spn 15x20 #suicide cw #long post #negativity for ts

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

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What’s your opinion on pre-canon Renruki?

I think that they already had a romantic or almost romantic relationship back in the Academy, maybe even back in Rukongai, and the reason it wasn’t explicit is because firstly it would have spoiled the endgame couples, and secondly it’s a shonen, so it’s implied.

I think they fooled around when they were orphans in Inuzuri. They grew up together, they were always together in their “teenage” years (however adolescence works for souls😅), I think it’s not impossible that they had their first experience, if just their first kiss and make out session, with each other. When they joined the Academy, they spent less time together due to their different courses, and I think Rukia’s sad expression when Renji leaves for the mission in the real world depicts that (along with worry for him, and maybe even jealousy for his achievements compared to hers). By then I think they were quite intimate, they fooled around sometimes (with the little time they had) and knew the other’s and their own feelings, but never said anything like “I love you”, or talked seriously about the depth of their relationship. If they were “just friends”, as some antis like to claim, they wouldn’t have been so heartbroken, have so many regrets and felt so guilty during their separation. And why that separation in the first place? It’s not a matter of class difference, because Rukia did talk to people of inferior status, like her Squad mates. What’s actually forbidden to people from different classes is relationships. If Renruki was just a friendship, there would have been no problem, but their bond was beyond that. Rukia wanted Renji to tell her to stay with him, but his feelings of inferiority and belief that Rukia deserved better (maybe even better than him) prevented him to do it. Their separation doesn’t feel like an end to a friendship to me, it feels like a breakup. They avoided each other because it hurt so much, and they couldn’t bear to have any relationship other than a romantic one, which was impossible once she became a Kuchiki.

After the Soul Society arc, they got back together. They were physically too comfortable around each other to be just friends, like when he basically hugged her to encourage her to go back to Soul Society when Orihime is kidnapped (and maybe he was also comforting her), or when, during the fight with the Fullbringers, he casually placed her head resting on his thigh. By then they were secretly dating, in my opinion. In the last arc they were always together, it’s so easy imagining them as a couple.

What do you think? Is my interpretation far fetched? I’d like to hear your theories about their feelings, when they blossomed, when they confessed, if they had something going on during their Academy years…

Thank you if you decide to answer!🤍

Well, as you say, Bleach is a shounen, and also I don’t think Kubo was particularly interested in including romance in the story, so I don’t think there is a correct or incorrect interpretation. It’s left to the reader to imagine what they like. I don’t think “spoiling the endgame” has anything to do with anything.

I don’t think your interpretation is “too far-fetched,” although I don’t happen to agree with it. There’s very little to go on in canon, people can fill in the gaps in whatever way makes them happy/makes sense to them. I have exactly 0 interest in arguing with people on the internet about stuff like this. I enjoy reading fanfiction that has wildly different interpretations from my own, I generally love to hear a variety of ideas, although I generally prefer the format of a narrative over Tumblr posts (funny, since I do seem to write a lot of them).

Anyway, here are a bunch of opinions. This is way, way too long, so I'm gonna throw it under a cut.

That being said, you have some really amatonormative ideas in there that I do take issue with. Friendships absolutely can be as deep and important as romantic relationships. I categorically reject the idea that a romantic bond is stronger than a friendship one or that acts of physical affection necessarily imply a romantic relationship. I actually have no beef at all with people who want to read Rukia and Renji’s story as a very strong friendship. I do think it was still reasonable for Renji to avoid her during their separation, even if his goal wasn’t romance. He wanted to see her live a better life, and didn’t want to drag her down. Yeah, sure, if he just wanted to be a casual workplace friend, he probably could have joined Squad 13 and seen her once in a while. But, especially in the early days, it would have been a bad look for Rukia to continue socializing with people deeply below her station, and I feel in my heart that Byakuya would have forbidden her from seeing Renji if he found out she was hanging out with someone from her Inuzuri days, even if it was just casual. Yeah, there exist people who say Rukia and Renji are "just friends" for the sake of other preferred ships, but also, like, so what? Who cares? That’s a lot better than making Renji out to be a bad person or trashing his character. To be honest, I am generally happy to read a fanfic that had some other Renji or Rukia pairing if it actually contained some solid Renruki best friend content (I have found a few 369 fics that do this, and maybe also in the little bit of RenIchi content I have read, so, uh, good job, my gays. This is sometimes touched on in ByaRen fics, but usually not as much as I want, althought I also tend to hold these to a high bar, because if I have to deal with Byakuya in my fanfics, they should have to deal with the Rukia-Renji friendship 😂)

Anyway, you asked for my interpretation, so here it is . These are all just, like, my opinions, man:

Life in Inuzuri just really, really, really sucks, and Rukia and Renji both have a lot of trauma and emotional hang-ups from that time. I think they forged a deep emotional connection during this time that was probably a little too codependent to actually be healthy. They had no models of healthy families or relationships. I also think they were incredibly close to Fujimaru, Kosaburou, and Mameji, and that even if they wanted to have a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t have, at the risk of ruining the more important bonds of the larger group.

In my fanfic, in their last days in Inuzuri, I do have them fool around for a brief period. It coincides with the deterioration of the bond with their last surviving friend, leading to his death. I did this for trauma reasons, because that’s how writers are.

“Communication” is probably the most important theme in my writing, and a thing I bring up all the time is that young Rukia and Renji had a thousand ways of communicating survival-based things between each other, and 0 ways of communicating how they felt about each other.

I did a post on this recently, but their whole gang was incredibly powerless in Inuzuri. They lived on the fringes of society and stole scraps to survive. I think that their number one duty to one another was to survive. In the anime, Rukia swears that she will never leave Inuzuri, that she will always stay with her friends. I think the reason she does an about-face is not just because their friends are gone, but because she realizes that she will lose Renji next, and the only way to prevent that is for both of them to get stronger. Neither of them actually wants to become a soul reaper. They do it for each other.

I think that Renji would have remained in Inuzuri and tried to make a life as best they could, but Rukia knew this was futile, and where Rukia goes, Renji follows.

I think they purposely maintained distance at the Academy. Just as in Inuzuri, their primary duty to one another is to survive and thrive. They were rejected and mocked for their low origins, and hanging out together would have made this worse. I think it hurt Rukia that Renji made new friends, but on the other hand, they were exactly the sort of people who would help him get a leg up in the Gotei. Rukia’s Academy days were very painful because she saw Renji succeeding, just as she wanted, but leaving her behind in the process. Conversely, Renji got super focused on doing well, with the idea that he could pull Rukia up behind him, except for the part where he never actually told her that.

I feel like I’m in the minority here, but so much fanfic focuses on Rukia and/or Renji being “wrong” in the scene where he tells her to go to the Kuchiki, but I disagree! Everything they have done is in order to get to a better life! It is Renji’s duty to encourage her to leave him behind. He doesn’t want to be an anchor holding her down. Likewise, Rukia knows that if she doesn’t go, she’s just gonna be a burden on him. Their relationship has always been about each of them surviving separately over having happiness together. Up to now, they’ve always managed to find each other again, although this kinda looks like it might be it for them. Do these kids need to go to therapy? Yes! Did they do anything wrong? No!

I think about this a lot, but even if Rukia had turned down the adoption (which… I’m not actually sure she could have), even the offer would have ruined their relationship. Imagine that Renji asks her to stay, and she does. Maybe they even get together at this point. Every rough patch, every time there’s money troubles, this spectre of “Rukia could have been a Kuchiki” is going to hang over them. In fiction, there is often an idea of sacrifice being a one-time romantic gesture, but in my real life experience, this sort of thing hangs around like an unwanted ghost. I can, in fact, envision a scenario where this is exactly how Aizen manages to get his hooks in Renji, by offering Rukia an unseated spot in Squad 5, even though she “isn’t really good enough to deserve it” and “taking care of them.”

I am really fascinated with Rukia’s crush on Kaien/Miyako. Bold proclamation here, but I think there is something developmentally healthy about young people having crushes on the older people in their lives, provided that said older people treat them with respect and dignity and don’t take advantage of it in any way. Crushes are, by their nature of being unreciprocated, a safe way for young folks to imagine the sort of people and relationships they want to have in their lives. I headcanon Rukia as bisexual, and maybe also a little bit genderfluid, and she had these two extremely cool people in her life, whom she maybe wanted to be and maybe wanted to kiss and maybe to have a marriage like that some day. I… like to think that their role in her life healed some of her trauma before their death caused even more.

Fully into headcanons now, but I like to think that Renji had a parallel experience, with, of all people, Ikkaku and Yumichika. Like him, they came from the ass-end of Rukongai, but they stuck together instead of bowing to the social mores of the Seireitei. It is critical to note that they were able to do this through strength. This is literally not a thing that Renji and Rukia could have done, but at the same time, Renji sees this as the kind of relationship he wants to have with a partner. He doesn’t want to look after Rukia and protect her, he wants to fight back-to-back with her and then make out afterwards. He’s still convinced that he needs to go through the proper class channels to see Rukia again, but without their influence, I don’t think he ever would have been able to say “fuck it” and turn on his captain during the Soul Society Arc.

Meeting Ichigo and dealing with his unreasonable need to protect everyone he cares about, personally, was also a huge blow to Rukia and Renji’s “I cannot allow the other person to take any risks for my sake” hang-up. Ichigo has his own traumas, which are entirely different from Renruki’s, but the one thing he had was growing up in a loving family. (Isshin has his problems, but I feel strongly that he always made his kids feel like his love was unconditional). I’m not saying that making friends with a shounen protagonist is a good replacement for therapy, but it does have healing properties.

Entirely off-topic, but I feel like Ichigo is incredibly selfish in the way of Terry Pratchett’s witches: “All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!

Where were we? Oh, yeah. I honestly think that it is unknowable when in canon Rukia and Renji confessed. I already covered this pretty thoroughly in this post. I hate the idea that they were secretly dating. Renji worked incredibly hard to get his post and I think that both his job and Byakuya’s respect are very important to him. I do not think he would put either of those things at risk like that, nor would Rukia want him to. I tend to prefer a slow-burn approached, and I honestly think they got together during the 17-mo timeskip at the earliest, and more likely post-canon entirely, although I think them confessing in the Royal Realm is the spiciest possible outcome, so that’s what most of my fanfic cleaves to.

#renruki #did tumblr increase number of characters you can have in an ask?#i was honestly surprised when i opened this one and saw how long it was

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