#reblog okay! I'd love to meet new people!

[ninthcompanion]

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Independent RP blog for Kratos Aurion, Tales of Symphonia

Written by Wren, who is over 21 and has been lurking on rp tumblr for almost as long as Kratos has lived

OC, AU, Canon, Crossover and Multi-verse friendly

Always accepting ask memes, starters or responses to tagged open rps!

Note: following this Kratos will expose you to spoilers for Tales of Symphonia

[scarletlizzard]

Epilogue

Sessions Series

Paring: stalker Wanda x female reader

Tags Minors DNI: stalking, mentions of a knife, smut, smidge of somnophilia, fingering, strap on use (R Receiving), surprisingly fluff. This type of relationship is super toxic, okay!!

Masterlist

A/N: Thank y'all so so much for reading this series. Truly has been so nice seeing everyones comments and reblogs (the tags kill me every time)! This was my first series and hopefully there will be more, I really enjoy writing and am happy to share with you kind people. Let me know if you have any questions, would love to know what you think!! Thanks 💚💚

New Years Eve 2018

Your senses were heightened as you became aware of a set of eyes on you. Her gaze fixated on you from across the room, behind the crowd of people that swarmed around you. You watch with a familiar spark in your chest, a sense of safety that your shadow was watching over you.

"They're about to start the countdown, I'm going to find Maria!" Natasha yells closely to your ear, breaking the eye contact you held with Wanda.

You give her a small smile and nod, "Alright, find me after!" Before kissing her cheek and giving her a short hug. You watch your best friend push through the crowd until you can no longer see her red head, and your eyes travel back to your shadow. Panic settles in when you realize she's nowhere to be found.

Around you people begin pairing off, touch hungry ones scanning the crowd for a last chance at a kiss before the New Year. A touch on your shoulder makes you smile and turn around, but instead of seeing your Wanda, you see a drunk man attempting to balance himself in front of you.

"Hi sweetie," he slurs, resting his hand on your shoulder. The '2019' glasses he wore took up most of his face, a drink in his other hand sloshed onto your shoes.

"I'm sorry, I'm looking for someone..." You groan and try to push his hand off of your shoulder. To your suprise, he keeps it there.

"I'm somebody, you found me!" His words slur together as he presses closer.

"Seriously? Get off!" You raise your voice and put your hands on his broad chest, pushing him back. It's only a second later that you feel a body pressed against you from behind, the intoxicating scent wrapping around you.

"Hey man, I'd back off." Wandas husky voice sounds from behind you, but she moves to step in front of you as the man steps forward again.

He laughs and holds up his drink towards her, "We're just having fun, you wanna join in?" He slurs again, and Wanda makes a face of disgust.

"Just go away before we do something we'll both regret," she threatens. It's then you notice her hand is behind her back, settled on what you know is a blade hidden underneath her jacket.

Instinctively you reach out, resting your hand on top of hers. You watch as her shoulders drop and her grip on the handle softens. A blush creeps up your neck as you once again realize the affect you had on her.

Who, really, was the mouse?

"Fine, fine, you two are no fun," the man mumbles with a shrug, leaving the two of you in the crowd.

Before Wanda can turn around, you wrap your arms around her stomach, hugging her from behind. You feel soft vibrations from her back as she chuckles, turning in your arms.

"Okay, little mouse?" She asks softly, her demeanor changed in an instant as her green eyes meet yours. You nod and slide your hands up to her shoulders.

"I was hoping you would show up," you bite back a smirk as she leans in. The crowd begins counting down, signaling the seconds to midnight.

10... 9... 8...

"I'm always there, you know that," Wanda rasps in your ear, placing a soft kiss just below.

7... 6... 5...

The thought doesn't bother you, of her always being there watching. Waiting. Instead of dread, you felt comfort. You knew she would always be there. One hand cups her face as she continues to leave soft kisses across your jaw.

You would take any bad, as long as you had this good. As long as you had Wanda.

4... 3... 2... 1...

As cheers errupt around you, shouting, "Happy New Year!" You waste no time pressing your lips to hers, your fingers tangling into her soft brown hair. Wanda holds you tightly against her as she slips her tongue into your parted mouth. You savor the flavor of mint on her tongue, biting down softly on her bottom lip. She groans into the kiss, and you can't help but smile.

"You're going to be the death of me, little mouse..." she sighs onto your lips, and you nod.

"You love it..." You giggle, causing her to laugh. She pulls back with an unfamiliar look in her eyes, lips parted like she wants to say something. You wait, but only watch as they pull into a crooked grin before kissing you again.

***

January 2019

Wanda peers through the darkness into the windows of your house, her figure disconcernable against the shadows.

You walk around, a prickling sensation on the back of your neck, knowing someone is watching your every move. Despite the comforting warmth in the room, a shiver runs down your spine, knowing your shadow was just outside.

But instead of fear, instead of unease, you simply walk to the front of the house and stare out the window.

Wanda remains concealed, her presence a silent observer in the stillness of the night. She looks with curious eyes before realizing what you were doing, and a smirk forms on her face.

Your hands move to the locks, opening them up with a 'click'. As you stare off into the shadows, a sense of vulnerability washes over you, the feeling of leaving the windows unlocked. You have to lock and unlock it three more times before you're comfortable.

"Little mouse.." A whisper in the dark, a body next to yours as you stir in your sleep.

You could've sworn it was a dream as her hand traveled down your body, cupping your clothed pussy. She ran small circles over your clit, the clothing between become wetter. You felt your skin burn under the covers, aching for her as she teases you. Then her hand slides inside of your pants, rubbing against your now sensitive clit.

You awake with a start and attempt to sit up, but her other hand immediately covers your mouth and presses you back onto the pillow. Your hands fly up to her wrist that held a hand over your mouth, your breathing ragged as you attempted to figure out what was going on.

"It's okay, pretty girl. Just let me take care of you.." Wanda whispers, slipping her fingers inside of you. Her body presses further against you as she moves her wrist, her fingers pumping in and out of you at a quicker pace. Your moans muffle from her hand on your mouth.

"Such a good little mouse.." She praises, trapping your moans into the palm of her hand. "You were just begging for me to sneak in, needed me to come fuck you huh?" Her tone is condescending, but you only groan in response as her lips attach to your neck.

"That's it, just like that," Wanda chuckles darkly as you squeeze her fingers tightly, her thumb moving circles on your clit. "Now I want you to be a good girl and cum on my fingers, okay?"

As she sucks the skin on your collarbone, you follow as she commands, coming on her fingers and biting down harshly on her hand. Wanda moans at the feeling and the way you fall apart for her. You knew by the sound of her belt unbuckling that it would only be the first of the night.

***

February 2019

"So you and Wanda, huh?" Natasha laughs, shaking her head. "Was the therapy that good?"

Your face turns a dark shade of red as you think back on your sessions, the dark road it led you down. You shrug and take a sip of coffee, "I suppose it was..."

There was no way you could tell Natasha everything. You wouldn't. The Cat and Mouse game you and Wanda played was special, just for the two of you. But there was no way you could hide your feelings for her anymore, or the marks she left on your body, from your best friend.

"You're happy?"

"For the first time in a long time," you answer honestly. Through the whirlwind of emotions Wanda caused you, you knew you were.

"Taking your medication again?" Natasha raises an eyebrow as you tap the side of your cup 4 times absemindetly.

"It'll never go away..." You refer to your compulsion, "But I'm learning to cope with it."

"Good! Now, when are we going to go on a double date?" She smiles widely at you.

A date... you couldn't imagine Wanda taking you on a date. Maybe you could sit at a nice restaurant and she would watch from across the street. Maybe four rows away from you as you sit in a movie theater. Would it always be this way? Always about the chase?

"Hopefully soon," is all you say, a small smile planted on your lips.

***

May 2019

The microwave beeps from across the kitchen, and you set your glass of wine down before walking over and pulling out a bag of freshly popped popcorn.

Wanda watches hidden in the shadows as you grab a second glass, filling it up and topping off your own. She raises an eyebrow at the sight. Jealousy seeps in through all the cracks of her chest. She knew for a fact that Natasha was with her girlfriend tonight, and you never had anyone else over, especially this late at night.

Two glasses of wine sit on the counter along with a bowl of popcorn as you grab your phone. Her heart races as she sees the smile spread across your lips as you stare at the small screen.

A vibrate from her pocket distracts her from you.

Wanda takes her phone out to check the text, shaking her head with a sigh. She laughs at the message with the ridiculous nickname. It was only fair, she supposed.

You - Want to watch a movie, kitty?

She looks up from the screen to see you standing by the window, waving at her. Wanda tucks her phone back in her jeans and walks towards your house, where she finds the front door unlocked.

"Do you ever get tired of watching?" You ask curiously. Wanda now sat next to you on the couch, her arm wrapped around your shoulders as you leaned into her warmth. New and uncharted territory, the most normal interaction the two of you had privately. It felt so natural. You longed for this.

"No," she answers sternly, reaching into the bowl you held and tossing some popcorn into her mouth.

In the months Wanda had revealed herself as your shadow the two of you became closer, but she still felt out of reach. You noticed during sex that she would never let you touch her, and you craved to reach out and caress her. You didn't know why, and any time you tried to ask her, she would shut it down and become distant. Wanda still watched, too, every night. Any time she wasn't in the room with you, you could feel her eyes on you. By now, you didn't mind it, but you were starting to want... more.

"What if you... didn't have to go far to watch me?" You ask casually, keeping your eyes on the movie that played in front of you.

"What do you mean?" Wanda asks, and by the tone of voice, you could tell she knew what you meant. She wanted to hear you say it.

You lean forward to set down the bowl on the coffee table and move to situate yourself to sit on her lap. Your legs straddled her thighs, and your hands rested on her shoulders. You let the nail on your finger scratch up and down the side of her neck softly.

"Baby.." You whisper to her, feeling her strong hands grip your waist. For some reason, Wanda loved when you called her that, and you saved it for times like this.

You grab her jaw in your hand, tilting it to the side so you had full access to her neck. Your lips descend upon the soft skin, tongue licking a stripe to her pulse point. Wanda shifts beneath you, fingers fidgeting against your hips as you begin to bite down and suck.

"Is that what you want then, little mouse? Did you fully think about what that means?" Her voice is laced with lust as you trail down and leave another mark. "It means you'll never be alone, you won't sleep alone. It means I can use you whenever I please..." Wandas hands travel underneath your shirt, exploring your back.

"I know.." You mumble against her skin, your hips rolling slightly down against her to find she was definitely packing.

"It means you'll belong to me. You'll be mine, completely," Wanda growls as you leave another mark, her senses failing her as you continue to grind against her.

But you stop suddenly and remove your lips from her neck, your hands on either side of her face.

"I always was, baby. I am... completely," you whisper and look into her eyes, finding that same look she gave you on New Years Eve.

Wanda kisses you passionately, slipping her tongue into your mouth the second she can. Her hands travel your body before she's pulling your shirt over your head, you do the same for her.

"I need you so fucking bad," you groan against her lips, the ache between your legs growing as you throb around nothing. Wanda nods and hums in response, lifting you up and laying your back on the couch.

She slides her hand into your panties, feeling just how badly you needed her. "All mine, huh?" Wanda chuckles as her fingers pump inside of you.

"Completely," you moan out as she begins kissing your chest. You reach around her to undo her bra, sliding it away so you can feel her breasts pressed against you.

Wanda marks your skin as hers, fingering you until you're falling apart underneath her. You watch with wide eyes as she takes her fingers out of you and puts them into her own mouth, sucking your juices off of them.

"Mmm, you taste so good, pretty girl.." Wanda gushes and then chuckles as a whimper leaves your mouth. She then leans down and kisses you in a quick and sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself on her tongue. She parts to unzip her jeans, sliding them off of her before lining her strap up between your legs.

Wanda slides in, filling you up completely with her faux cock. The position, the closeness, this was all so new. Usually you were bound or on your stomach. This was different. It was so much more intimate. She moves her hips slowly against yours, a low moan escaping her throat.

"So good, detka.. always so fucking good," she groans and lets out a few Sokovian curses as she thrusts harder into you. Her arms rest on either side of you, holding her weight above you. You take the opportunity to wrap your arms around her.

She tenses and begins to pull back, but your legs wrap around her hips tightly to pull her closer into you. You both moan at the feeling of closeness, her being deeper than ever in you, and Wanda finds herself lost in you. She lets your hands roam the skin on her back as she fucks you.

"Baby - feels so good!" You cry out in her ear, the weight of her body pressed down onto you as she grunts against your neck. Your nails scratch down her back, causing a guttural moan to escape her lips. You throb around the plastic cock at the sound of it, wanting her as close as possible.

"I know, I know... so good... Christ," she praises you and moans in agreement, pace picking up. You can feel the muscles in her back flex as she pounds into you. The way she's moaning into your skin, you can tell she's close.

She fills you completely with every thrust, hitting that one spot that makes you see stars over and over again. Your fingers feel every inch of skin she'll let you touch, from the few moles that spread along the top below her shoulders to her back dimples on the bottom. You let your nails mark into her skin again, and Wanda feels on cloud 9. Pure bliss.

"Fuck, pretty girl I'm gonna cum," Wanda moans in your ear and picks her head up to look in your eyes, finding only pleasure written on your face. You nod at her words and hold onto her back, your legs still gripping tightly around her hips to bring her desperately closer to you.

"Me too, baby, I-I'm so close!" You gasp, feeling her lips on yours.

"Fuck, fuck! Always.. so good, fuck, I love you so much.. oh God," Wanda moans into your mouth as she thrusts into you, fucking you hard into the couch. You don't have time to register what she says before the tight coil that had built up inside you releases. A wave of pleasure crashing over you.

The two of you come at the same time, the sounds of your moans and Wanda chanting your name as she slaps her hips into yours. Wanda slows to a stop once she's sure she's taken everything she can from you.

Your chest moves rapidly as you look up at her, her jaw tense as she lets out one last groan. The muscles in her back tense up as your fingers trace small circles on her skin, and she begins to move away.

"Stay... don't move, please?" You whisper, pleading with her. Wanda sighs and gives in, too tired to move. Your heart races as you replay her words over and over again in your mind.

You bring your other hand up, stroking her brown strands of hair that splayed across the two of you and closed your eyes. Wandas arms wrap tightly underneath you as she rests her head in the crook of your neck.

She had never let you hold her like this before, touch her like this. You knew what she said was true. Her words were not just words spoken lightly. Maybe she hadn't meant to say it then, but you knew she loved you. You knew she would never let you go, even if you didn't love her back.

But you did. With all of your mind, body, and soul. Everything that you were, are, and will be.

More than you loved the special bottle of red that sat on the counter, more than the feeling of a paintbrush in your hand, more than I Love Lucy, more than counting to four.

Wandas breathing slows against your neck, her body fully relaxed as you caress her. You had never seen or felt her so at ease before.

"I love you..." You whisper as you hear soft snores fall from her lips.

It doesn't take long for you to fall asleep after, the sounds of her quiet snores and slow breathing along with the comforting weight of her body on top of yours, lull you to sleep.

Dreaming, hoping, there was a way Wanda would give in to you.

To let the game fade away.

But when you awake in the morning, you're alone on the couch. A blanket covers your naked body, hopes and dreams fading away into reality.

Wanda was gone, and the worst part was you knew she would be back, out of reach again.

You give yourself a moment on the couch, only a moment to cry, before wiping your tears and shaking the sounds of her soft snores out of your mind. The way her body melted into yours as your hearts beat insync, the way she kissed you lovingly, the words "I love you" slipping from her lips in a desperate, intimate moment. It was all a game, after all.

The wine glasses and popcorn bowl were missing from the coffee table. Curious, you wrap the blanket around your body and walk to the kitchen. The dishes were clean and sitting on the drying rack. It was then you saw on the counter a glass of water and a bottle of your medication along with a paper and pen. You slowly pick up the paper, an old receipt you had lying around, and read the note:

I'll be back later with some boxes. Don't forget to take your medicine.

The curved letters tug at your heartstrings, the next lines causing another spark to ignite in your chest.

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

If the game was still afoot, Wanda was winning, because you were utterly and irrevocably hers.

***

October 2019

In the sunlit room, you stood in front of a canvas, wooden brush in hand. Each stroke, movements precise and deliberate, guided by a vision taking form in your mind. You inhale the scent of oil paint as you take some more on your brush before leaning in, adding intricate detail to breathe life into your creation. Time seems to stop as you lose yourself to the creative side of your brain.

You don't hear the creak of the door opening, or feel Wandas gaze on you as she stands in the doorway, admiring you.

The large button down you wore loosely was covered in paint, a work of art in itself from all the leftover paint of paintings you had done. You hummed along to the music, playing softly behind you, tongue between your teeth and brows scrunched together as you concentrated on the small details.

Wanda can't help the crooked smile on her face as she takes in the sight of you in your element. Her heart pounding out of her chest as you brush a piece of fallen hair out of your face. She walks closer, setting her hands on your waist.

You gasp at her touch, the feeling of her nose tickles your ear as she kisses your neck.

"Baby.. you scared me," you giggle and rest a hand on top of hers, leaning back against her.

There it was again, that feeling Wanda would never get used to. The feeling that wanted to drop her to her knees right there and whisper devotions between your legs, something she did more often since you had moved in with her.

"I got tired of watching," Wanda jokes, a rumble in her chest as she laughs. You turn yourself in her arms, resting your hands on her chest.

"I don't mind you watching... but I prefer you touching," you whisper the last part sinfully, the word darkening Wandas emerald eyes. She picks you up easily, you squeal with excitement, and wrap your legs around her waist.

And there on the floor, in the room Wanda had transformed into your art studio, she whispered those devotions against your skin and between your legs.

You lay on the cloth tarp that covered the floor underneath your canvas, drawing patterns on the skin of Wandas stomach. You turn in her arm to look at her.

A jaw sculpted by God, green eyes blessed by the angels, and a smile gifted from the Devil.

The sun shines on her face, highlighting smudges of green paint on her cheek. You giggle and let your fingers travel to the colored paint stripes spread across her body, a handprint on her shoulder.

"You're my favorite work of art," you murmur to her, feeling her thumb brush the paint on your hips. She smiles, your favorite crooked smile.

"Little mouse?" Wanda asks, her voice low and calm as she stares into your eyes.

"Yes, baby?"

"Marry me.."

And it's not a question, it's a statement. A declaration. You didn't need a moment to think, because you already knew you were hers, forever.

"Yes," you say anyways, nodding your head. Wandas' smile widens, and she lifts you on top of her, kissing you the best she could without letting her smile go.

***

Christmas Day 2021

The snow crunches under Wandas' boots as she watches you walk from the kitchen to the living room, a towel on your shoulder. Your hands fumbled with something unseen, hidden from her view. Your brows furrowed in concentration, and you shook your head, mumbling something to yourself.

And then you looked up and saw her. The widest smile overcame your face. You radiated pure joy.

Wandas' heart sped up at the sight of you as she carried wood and walked towards the front door.

"Reminiscing, kitty?" You purr as you greet her at the door with a kiss and a hug, she hums against your lips.

"You don't miss it, little mouse?" Wanda chuckles and kisses your jaw, the wood dropping to the floor.

"Not when I have all this..." You sigh happily as she kisses down your neck, her hands moving under your shirt.

A cry from the other room interrupts the moment.

"Mm, those boys always know when to start, don't they?" She mumbles, "I knew when I heard twins, they would be trouble."

Wanda hears a radiant laugh escape your lips, and she gives you a crooked smile in return. You cup her face in your hands, the ring on your fourth finger on the left hand is cool against her cheek.

"I loved you then, and I love you even more now, Wanda.." you whisper, breath fanning against her face.

"I love you even more, little mouse.." she says softly, giving you one last kiss before walking into the living room, your hand in hers.

[darlingofvalyria]

❝I am not a Valyrian Sex God.❞

part 03 | pucker up, buttercup

chapter summary:

[ The line of friendship dances in uncertain waters when you and Aemond play the fake dating game a little too well. Helaena reveals much more than meets the eye to Aegon, and vice versa. Oh, and Alys. Hi Alys! ]

[ 5,399 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— mostly fluff, a wee bit angsty, a little smutty - profanity, i swear a lot sorry too shhshs - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.

a/n— thank you so much for the love this little fic is getting so far!! it truly warms my heart that you people enjoy my twisty, crackpot humour and my version of a modern au for these characters!! as much as i am grateful for george for making these characters and these stories, i have to say what propelled me to write is the beautiful community i found. truly, from the bottom of my heart. ❥ fandom is built on community. i would not have had the courage to start writing fanfiction again if not for ya'll. so thank you so much. for the consumers and the creators. you, us, are the beating heart of fandom. please take care of each other. + comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

"Please tell me I haven't inhaled so much drugs in my system that I am hallucinating our— and I say this with a lot love, okay you know what? No. Our Nasty Little Bitch of A Grudge Holder we call, lovingly, a brother, is not dating the hottest friend you have? Hel? The hottest friend you told me if I ever came anywhere near, you'd rip me a new asshole? How is Aemond's asshole still intact?? Or does our brother just have a gaping fun-house slide down there? Hello? Hellooo, pay attention to meee. This is so rude, why didn't I call Daeron?"

"Because Daeron knows nothing and I know everything?" Hel snorts, finishing up re-naming Aemond's contact from CURRENT DUMB BRO to NASTY LITTLE BITCH OF A GRUDGE HOLDER, before turning to Aegon on her laptop.

Like she predicted, Aegon is already pouting, leaning back on what Helaena remembers is their grandfather's rum-coloured leather office chair. In his office. In Oldtown.

After a quick stint in Ibiza, it seems Helaena's brother had found himself back in the country, and worse— back in their grandfather's office. Without him in it.

"Grandpa's going to kill you." Helaena snorts. "How'd you even get inside his house?"

"This is not the first time I have been faced with a locked door, baby sister."

"You broke a window didn't you?"

"I really, really had to piss."

She rolls her eyes. Hard. "You are a boy. You can literally just pee anywhere."

Aegon flutters a gasp and a hand over his chest. "Excuse me? I may have a penis, but that does not mean I have to be uncouth. For shame, Helaena. Also disgusting. But that's not why I called." He steeples his fingers as he leans forward, pressing his elbows against the nice mahogany desk. "What the fuck is happening over there? I'll be there by tomorrow and I'd like to know what the fuck is happening before I start—" he wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, " — shaking things up."

A dark look crosses Helaena's usually amiable pretty face that has Aegon leaning back. "If you do anything— and I mean anything — to ruin what I have going on, Mother may help you for I certainly won't. The Stranger will look like an old friend, Egg, don't you fucking dare."

"What the fuck," Aegon exhales, wide-eyed and horrified. "Have you been watching M. Night Shyamalan movies again?"

"No," she lies. "I'm doing this for my OTP."

 "Oh my god, you're the one who roped them together?" Aegon strangles a sigh. "Lae-lae, we've talked about this. No matter how much you think they're cute, Aemond—"

"— Aemond and Alys broke up."

"Then they'll be together again before the weekend's out." Aegon rolls his eyes. "It's Aemond."

"Not like this." Hel shakes her head. "I got her to agree, Egg. And they're like... Gods, the pictures don't do them justice. They're magnetic. They make plans at the apartment, Aemond is there all the time— my OTP is happening."

"You are playing god between two people you care about."

"What else am I supposed to do?! They're obviously so hot for each other, and now that Alys is out of the picture, and she's there, right in front of him, Egg, you should see how it is between them. The energy. It's crackling. They have inside jokes, they're so comfortable with each other, and I will have the most beautiful nephew and niece—"

"—Helaena Targaryen," Aegon admonishes with finality. Hel quiets. Often times, the siblings forget Aegon is quintessentially the oldest sibling. They had never been close to their father's actual firstborn— the age gap is wide and there's just... too much complicated family fissures in between that it feels awkward, even when they're relationship is okay, to interact or consider Rhaenyra anything past a cousin you see every other holiday because you have to, much less now that their father's dead — so Aegon is their big brother.

And though they see it in bits, in flung comet pieces that you see preciously once every few hundred years— the vibe of big brother grasps the edges and reminds the younger siblings.

Sure, he's a dick. Sure, he's a whore. Sure, he's their mother's least and most favourite headache— but Aegon is their big brother.

"You cannot play puppeteer like this. This can blow up in their faces. And they care for each other. Their friends. If this blows up in their faces, it is going to hurt."

"I know that," Helaena says quietly, pout pinched but face mostly cleared. "You don't think I don't know?"

"I think you've already outweighed your chances and your choosing a possibility."

Helaena looks truly scolded at that point, and it juts a guilt down Aegon's stomach. But Aegon likes you. Maybe not like in the way that his brother likes you— in that intense, possessive way he gets with people and things he care about because there are so few of them — but he likes you. And he loves Aemond on a bad day, and likes him on a good one.

And Aegon knows, as a superior power about crashing and burning, that this is going to hurt both of you in ways that he truly doesn't think Helaena understands.

Because he isn't blind (as his brother) (bad joke?) (probably) to what he sees in Aemond's gaze when it looks at you. Sure it's possessive, sure it's the same way he looks at most people he keeps close to his heart.

But he was the one who saw how Aemond looked at you before Alys came into the picture. Before it morphed into nothing but platonic; morphed close to how he looks at Helaena. In that soft, I'm So Glad This Person Exists I Would Kill Literally Everyone For Them.

Aegon always thought he looked at you like he wanted to devour you. Etch you into his skin until your shape is in red marks across white plane. He looked at you like I Would Kill Myself If You Asked.

It was the possibility of devotion dipped in insanity. Aemond had so few things, much less people, who so vocally, physically, and emotionally cared for him without addendums.

The only real reason he never did anything before was because you were Helaena's best friend. Helaena loved you. And he couldn't destroy that alongside the fact that you might leave his side.

And then Alys happened and that focal point moved.

Aegon knew his brother. Not as intensely, and maybe that's the reason he could see it. To see clearly past the intensity and recognise its edges. Aegon knew his brother in his marrow.

"When this crashes and burns—"

"If!" Helaena quips stubbornly. "If it crashes and burns. Come home. You'll see, Egg. Aemond just needs to see."

"And what if she doesn't reciprocate, Lae-lae? She's not hard to love, and this is Aemond." Even Helaena knows his feelings, once taken root in whatever form, can blossom.

Helaena smiles softly. "Come home. You'll see. I can see it. I've seen it. The possibility of them, and it's so pretty, Egg."

It's really not all that pretty, fake dating.

Maybe it could be, but Aemond Targaryen is such an ass.

"This is not like The Devil Wears Prada fashion montage," you grumble, pinching off the big, 60s, yellow sunglasses off your nose to glare pointedly at the man sat on lounge chair. "All the zippers and tugging— this is not as pretty! And I look ridiculous! I don't wear dresses like these, Aemy!"

"You don't look ridiculous, you look like my girlfriend." He makes his emphasis with an inch raised eyebrow and pouty lips twitching not to laugh. "That's the point, is it not?"

You make a drawl huff. It's not just that his words were right— that's what the past hour has been, roaming around all these big named fashion brands where the staff just knows Aemond Targaryen, if not just by him sauntering in with all the swagger of an asshole you'd walk the other side of the street to ignore, then by the flash of his black card (or three, 'cause what the fuck is money to Targaryens holy shit) — but the way he's sitting as he appraises every look he's chosen for you.

He's lax, as could be in his usually perfect posture, with his hips in the middle, and one leg braced down whilst the other is raised to his other thigh. A confident man's sitting position, with an arm over the length of the sofa, balancing a champagne a trying-to-suppress-her-giddiness staff gave him.

At your disapproved glare— down on your nose at him because you're standing over him, lording over him, as he's sitting down — and he's smirking up at you. As if the power dynamics don't shift by whoever is looming over the other.

Aemond doesn't need to stand to make you feel all fluttery with a smirk and a strong gaze against your body. His eyes gaze from the bottom of your heeled toes, slow, slow, slow, until it reached the top of your head.

Surely you've only imagined his gaze lingering on certain parts of you that now felt hot and tingly.

Surely.

"Plus," he continues with a hum. A sip of champagne. "Isn't this your idea?"

"Yes, but—"

"Didn't you tell me that I should prepare the kind of outfits that Aemond Targaryen's girlfriend would wear—"

 "Yes, but I—"

He leans forward, taking pleasure in arguing with you, as he settles his elbows on his knees, pressing both of his feet flat on the tile. He's looking up, still, but his eyes are intense and the corner of his mouth is twitching from a grin he's trying to fight.

"And even when I told you that didn't matter, that whatever you wore would be fine, you insisted?"

"Because I thought it'd be fun!" you growl and he falls in faint, amused laughter. His eye is sparkling and there's a joy to him that makes you giddy. You truly have missed Aemond as you know him. "Because I wanted a fun dress-up montage, but nothing about this is fun! Why are you choosing so many goddamned zippers, and they're all so fucking tight?"

You plop beside him, stealing his champagne. Staff look away, trying not to ogle too much between you two. As you take sips of his drink, his hand, still over the sofa's arm, begin drawing idle circles on your exposed shoulders. It warms you and calms you down, melting further in the seat beside him.

"I liked the dresses," he finally murmurs. "The ones before this. The flowy fabric ones."

"Those are summer dresses," you say though don't know why.

"Hm," he hums. "You look pretty in them."

You look up at him and he's looking at you, a small smile on his face. The proximity is too near to be proper but not near enough if you're fake dating. You study his silver lashes and the scarred flesh.

"Thanks."

"We'll get them. Is that alright with you?"

You snort softly. "You're paying, Aemy. You can do whatever you want. Can't believe this is how your dates with Alys usually went."

Hatching plans meant unloading information about his former relationship with her. Going through their relationship so you could understand it better, better proportioned the good and the bad, and secretly, make him see the red flags that should jump out in clear, plastic red.

"Not at first." He's looking away now, but his finger is still drawing circles. There's a wistful tone to his voice, like seeing through a dream and a memory. "But when it got... bad, it seemed like the only time we weren't fighting was when we were in public. Almost subconsciously, whenever things got tensed, I'd offer to take us out. Do anything outside of our bubble. Money isn't an issue, and before Alys said she felt like a... cheap whore than a girlfriend, buying things for her, spending time looking through things to wear, to match almost, was safe."

"Gift Giving," you mutter with a nod. He turns.

"What was that?"

"A love language." He cocks his head. You sigh. "I mean it's stupid and not really theoretically accurate, but for fun, there's five types of love languages. People do this test thing and sort of box up the kind of love language you want to receive and what you give— but truly, in my opinion, a true kind of love demands all five for it to work."

He hums, intrigued. "And what are the five?"

"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving. But, you know, all of those should be given by a partner, in increments they can do for you. There shouldn't be a boxed fixture of what your relationship could be."

You shrug, standing up and stretching. You don't see him looking at you in the way that he has been for the past few days, and he doesn't know the tingles and feelings you keep between a smile and a sigh.

"Love looks different for everyone but it should have the same concept."

"And what concept is that?"

You turn to him, smiling. "That if you truly love someone, you can try anything. Love doesn't demand things that you do for the simple reason that you love the person enough."

"Love can be complicated," he says, and he's not arguing, not really. He isn't begging for you to understand. He is simply saying.

"Love can," you agree. "As most things are complicated. But it doesn't have to hurt."

It's a boundary line, the way he blinks, remembering why you're here together, why he gets to touch you in intimate ways, why he gets to pay for clothes, why you spend this time with him. A jolt. A shock.

You don't press and he doesn't retreat. The line exists not just to remind, but to stabilise any projections. Any dangerous tones.

You simply smile, nodding at the time. "Dinner date, babycakes. We can't be late for reservations."

"We can be late for a few minutes," he says, remembering echoes of how Alys sometimes got late. It isn't really her fault; there are days when she's too busy at the law firm, too busy with a meeting or two, or still finishing up her makeup because she doesn't like going to dinner in her work clothes.

"Sure, but we're here together and I know how much you hate being late." You snort.

"I don't hate it."

"Sure, but you got that eye twitch you do when you're annoyed," you tease, tapping your own eye before you wink at him and skip away.

For the past few days since the bar incident, by your suggestion, you and Aemond had pour out the intricacies of how Aemond and Alys' relationship worked whilst hiding your true intention of making him see its faults and corners, and at the same time, continue on with the charade of dating him.

It's been a packed week or so, going to your shifts at the bar, meeting with Cregan once and a while (boy had been busy, and he found the entire thing with Aemond incredibly hilarious).

You answered no question mark in regards on who the hand was, only sent a winky face or a kiss blowing emoji. You continue to post minute representations of your no-longer-single status in brief intervals, making sure that you never name him. You never publicly give him a recognisable body.

But for those that knew, knew.

It really wasn't that hard. There were only so much pale, toned hands, so much body builds you can hide with your hand covering his general face that you can hide without people making smart guesses. There wasn't a lot of pale, toned people around you after all.

But in your refusal to name him, the question continues, and so does Alys silent observation of every post. The only story she had liked had been the very first one.

You often wonder what she thinks, before your mind is devoured once again with everything else.

To be fair, as often as you had both been seeing each other lately— and it has been the most often you have been seeing of him — there were still things outside of Aemond and Helaena plans. And Aemond still had UNI to focus on.

"You know, I often forget you're still in university," you say now, comfortably warm in Aemond's car. All fresh leather seat and crisp new car smell despite knowing that Aemond's had this unit now for at least a year. He maybe rich, but he knew what he liked and took care of them.

He shoots you a quizzical look before looking back at the road. The city is bathed in a gorgeous stream of oranges and pinks, tie-dying glass buildings and bustle of city roads. When you look at him, you smile softly at how pretty the light hits him.

"Why is that? Do I look that young?"

"Your vibe is so old man on a nine to three, cigar breaks by four, and whiskey sours by seven pm."

He makes a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat. You laugh. "I would like to think it's my altruistic classicism. A timeless endeavour."

"Sure, old man," you tease then sigh. "Reality is, I'm so much older than you. I'm hanging out with a child. On my free day. Is this what it means to reach low status?"

"I am not a child." His reply is sharp, cutting, almost offended.

"You're in college."

"And of legal age? You're only four years older."

"Oh, right."

"What?"

You smirk at his dark look. "You like 'em way older."

His face, much like his gaze, heats up. You're imaging it when the ride turns red, the car slows to a stop, and he is looking at your lips. Surely it was, because you got transfixed with the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips. A slow, tantalising movement.

It feels like an eternity stretched within three seconds. The light turns green and both of you turn away.

Well, there's been that. A few times. But it doesn't mean anything. Aemond is in that transition of trying to rid himself of bad habits, of being freshly single once again, and you know he and Alys get in on frequently. This had been a conversation a few days back, on a couch, smell of grease and pizza around the room while Murder She Wrote played in the background.

"Wait, wait, wait." You sat up, folding your legs underneath your butt, and giving Aemond your full attention with a little 'o' in your mouth.

"Wait!" Helaena calls playfully from her sway to the bathroom. "Imma pee!"

"Take care, my beloved!" you call back, before turning to Aemond with a big, Cheshire grin.

"Can we not dwell on it?" He's flustered but is trying not to show it, looking back to the TV as if he understood why there's a body on the plane.

But wine has been had, spilled and shared, and it's enough for you to grab that fluster and the topic, and smirked.

"No, no, we will talk about it. We shall! We must! Do you mean to tell me that by the end of it, most of the time, you two were just boning? Is Aemy, one of my favourite people in the world, a Valyrian Sex God?? Oh my god??"

"I am not a Valyrian Sex God."

"Okay, girly pop, please." You raised a hand in a 'talk to the hand' motion and he was smiling at you, entranced and frustrated. "Women talk, Aemy!"

There was a flush and Helaena came back. Wine did things to Helaena, and she was stumbling and giggling as she flopped behind you, turning around and encasing you in a koala hug.

"Women talk, baby bro." Helaena nodded sagely. "Even I try not to listen, they talk, alas."

"And Alys has said those hips—"  You pointed a j'accuse finger at his hips, then his mouth. "—and that tongue has done things that can make the Maiden blush."

Helaena groaned behind you're back, a slew of 'ew's escaping her mouth. And you were still being playful, teasing, but Aemond was looking at you, though scarlet, with a deepened expression.

And at that moment, both of you were thinking the same thing.

His chin brushing your thighs, your sighs like music to his ears, and his tongue making you scream.

Warmth pooled, twin expressions share a gaze. Hunger, desire, shame.

The connection was destroyed when Helaena abruptly jolted and fell down the carpet. Because she was holding onto you, you got pulled with her.

"Are you okay??" Aemond asked.

Hel gasped. "I thought I saw Bobby. I think I squished Bobby."

You shook your head. "You didn't. Bobby is spry. Bobby knows to move away."

Aemond's confused face peered down at both of you. "Who's Bobby?"

"The local spider that lives here."

"Of course." And he smiled.

You smiled back.

Helaena giggled beside you but when you ask her, she only shook her head.

And the silence that lulls in the car is like both of you reaching the very same memory and having to sit through the stifle of that drunken interaction about his sex life. He coughs, you let out a breathy giggle.

"I should admit something," he says, parking the car in front of the restaurant. Dusk is settling, sunset in bright red and orange turning to a cool blue and pretty lavender— and when you turn to him after getting out of the car, coddling your jacket close to your body, he looks nervy. Apologetic, almost.

"What? What'd you do?"

He bites his bottom lip. "I know something about this restaurant."

"I would assume. You chose it." Your eyes narrow, giving the black-out floor to ceiling windows a look. The Painted Table is lit up in a scrawled font on top of it.

You step inside, not bothering to turn to his call of your name, and is submerged by the restaurant's vibe. It's a darkened place with meaningful lighting but a casual air, a bar on the side, and an upbeat jazzy music dancing in the air — it looks good. The place smelled delicious.

Nothing about it sparked familiarity to you, but the anticipation from that look of guilt on his face brought you to a high-strung, so when he calls your name again, just behind you, you turn.

"Is this where you had your first date with Alys?"

He shakes his head. "No. No, but—"

"Aemond?"

The voice is familiar, and you don't stop enough to think before you're turning to the low, clear voice that's just a hint of husky, and Alys' green eyes go wide at your appearance.

She's dressed nice, dressed to go out in a black dress dipping low and fabric tangled around her body to show off her curves. Her inky hair was swept to one side and her mouth was bloodred.

Alys Rivers, owner of Aemond's firsts. The woman he seemingly can't let go off.

You smile. It feels fake. "Oh. Hi Alys."

Her shock staves off into a genuine smile that makes you guilty. "Hi, my love. I see you two are together. Always attached at the hip. Dinner?"

Before you nod— or maybe strangle Aemond — he comes forward, taking your hand in the process and lacing it. He's looking at her as if he's setting a challenge when Alys' eyes fall on your intertwined hands.

"Yes," he says. "We are."

"Well... that's good. This place is great. I—" Someone calls her name, she turns back. You shoot Aemond a withering glare you hope conveys how much you're going to beat his ass after this. She turns back, smiling still. There's a pinch between her eyes but it's gone by the third blink. "Well, I have to go. I'll see you both soon, okay?" She turns to you, stepping forward, not minding the Targaryen beside you. "Especially you. We haven't hung out in a while."

"That's true, I've missed you, you crazy witch." And she laughs and you smile, because you genuinely consider Alys to be one of your friends. Not maybe as deeply as Helaena's, or as close, but Alys was an amazing person and you enjoy her company.

Plus, right now the one you're angry about it solely the man holding your hand.

Alys turns to Aemond, and he stiffens. Between them is a complicated look. So many things unsaid, before her smirk softens. "It's nice to see you too, Aemond."

And she turns away, walking back to her table, to her date, when you tug him with you to the bar. As you order a dry martini, he speaks. Calm and soft.

"You're mad at me."

"You knew she was going to be here." You turn to him, arching an eyebrow, hating the way your chest pangs. "You stalked her and brought us here because you wanted to use me."

He shifts, face crumples at the word 'use' and calls your name in a plead. "It's not like that."

You snort, taking a sip of your drink when it arrives. "Don't lie."

"Okay. Yes, I did. I... I made an impulsive decision because I wanted to see how she could go on a date as if we were nothing." Bitterness cripples his words, the smirk on his lips is ironic and darkened in hurt. Your heart hurts for him, but you can't give him a pass just like that. He hurt you too.

"You could've told me."

He raises an eyebrow. "You would be okay with this?"

Your own smile is ironic and darkened by hurt. "You're already using me, Aemy. That was the deal I agreed, for Hel. It would at least lick the wound to have been in the know, and not, you know, got shot in the face with it."

At the first part of your tirade, he looked like he wanted to argue with the using part, but the realisation weighs him because it is true. To him, he is using you. And it's a cheap shot on your part because you were also doing this for him, out of your own free will.

You sigh when he turns away, guilt dipping low.

"You're such a dumbass."

He hums in agreement.

You're aware of a gaze from the tables, somewhere in the ocean of jazz music and chatter, Alys is looking, and you kinda wanna make this good for him. You were already here after all.

Your hand reaches his jaw, sliding across his neck until you reach his nape and fingers tangle with the baby hairs there. His hair had been wrapped into a bun. Sleek and fluffy.

He turns to you, to your touch, in shock. "What are you—"

"Try not to look so surprised," you whisper, stepping close to him until your noses are bumping. "We're supposed to be dating."

And then you slant your mouth against his.

TAGGED: @fan-goddess @snh96 @valeskafics @opheliaas-stuff @tempo-rary-fix @fantasticpeaceharmony @diannnnsss @iamavailablesstuff @spinachtz @at-a-rax-ia @bespinnn @tsujifreya @moonlightfoxx @kemillyfreitas @joyouart @bananzaa @honey-on-mars @alexa4040 @cinnamonbambii @wintrr13 @wxb-slingrr @astroswift @queenofshinigamis @helaenaluvr @kaetastic @jxdegodfrey @laniii-on-your-left @watercolorskyy @snowprincesa1 @gemini-mama

[nicnevans]

Hey! GW2 fandom!

I'm semi-new here, though (since you guys seem friendly) a few of my screenshots and doodles have done the rounds so my characters might not be entirely unfamiliar to you. Anyway, I want more GW2 on my dash! with some caveats due to being New TM I'm looking for folks to follow who;

post a fair bit of GW2; other games and fandoms in the mix is fine, I myself am pretty multifandom over here (I don't have the braincells to separate everything out lmao)

have a spoiler-tagging system I can reference; I've just finished HoT and I'm absolutely not rushing through GW2's storyline (experience has taught me that the best way to enjoy an MMO is slowly) If you don't have a spoiler tagging system but still wanna chat, that's also great! hmu I wanna interact and meet the fandom! I just don't wanna hit a spoiler for content that, to most other people, is ancient lmao

I'm especially interested in seeing fanworks, whether you're a creator of them or a chronic reblogger. I miss the good old days of tumblr when my dash was 90% peoples' fanart and OCs and everyone hyping each other up 🥺

A bit about me (and my characters)

I'm not a single-fandom blog. My blog runs mostly on a queue, and in that queue goes basically everything I enjoy with anything cool that crosses my dash in between.

I'm a Millennial TM. I make Millennial TM jokes (puns) like my life depends on it. I'm sorry. I can't change.

I post art over on @ilmhist sometimes. Doodles and portraits and such. (That's also the blog I like/follow from.)

I have... a lot of OCs. A lot. My OC page is packed and in a constant state of "oh god I still need to write so-and-so's bio..."

idk how to play GW2 I'm just here for the blorbosis, I'm certifiably Bad At It and I die constantly. This has become a character trait for my comm, it's a running joke at this point that he never walks away from a fight under his own strength, he's always getting carried or dragged out when it's all said and done.

I'm... kind of obsessed with sylvari. I support everyone who has brainrot for the other races and I'd love to hear thoughts on them, I just have none, it's all plant people all time in my one singular braincell.

(pictured above, left to right: Duilliche (main comm), Callainn, Lusanaisig, Dreaghann)

These lil guys are my current pride and joy. Lus and Drea are twins, but all four of them awoke during different times of the same day, and (mostly) had connected Dreams. Cal is the odd one out in this, she never got a Wyld Hunt and her calling in life is much more mundane than the others, but she sort of gets swept along with them anyway. Her running gag is that, for one reason or another, she never seems to make it to the Big Climactic Fight at the end of any given journey. Dill is very much in the wrong genre and should have been a Disney prince. He even sings. He also has a godawful sense of direction and if left in charge of Leading The Group, he will blithely lead the group in circles for hours. As is evident, they're season-coded. Autumn, winter, spring, summer. I thought it was a fun idea for a group of sylvari sharing a plotline :>

This post is getting really long. Okay, so, intro done, like/reblog/comment/something if you post GW2 and I can avoid spoilers if I follow you, if I can't avoid spoilers if i follow you feel free to drop me a message or something if you want?

[thecluelessdoctor]

hey so do you guys remember those old geezer designs I made before finishing gravity falls and said I might make a au out of?

Yeah?

Okay so erm. Oopsies I remade them ENTIRELY

THE PINES TWINS!!

Alright so! Basic idea of this au is- well- they both came back to gravity falls for their own reasons.

Mabel grew up to be a pretty damn good inventor, picking up stuff from mcgucket. Turns out, machines were just arts and crafts with more danger and more numbers, that's all! At least to her. Her eccentric personality tends to clash with her rationality though so... yeah

Dipper on the other hand, tried to follow the footsteps of Ford, and continuing his research in Gravity falls Oregon! He knew there was more to discover so- he was going to! He ends up writing his own form of the journals, which has both the 6 fingered hand, and his pine tree on it (ignore that I forgot to draw it)

The both of them hang out at the mystery shack. Usually, anymore Soos will let them take over for the summer. (So depressingly, he will not be as present in this au)

Now to meet the new characters. Teehee

Meet Ratch and Rod Elk, two twins on the... not pines side of the family. After hearing apart of the family was staying in gravity falls for the summer, their parents decided it would be fun for them. Ratch loves researching nature, and rod- rod is rod.

So, they stay at the run down mystery Shack with their weird Aunt(?) and Uncle (?).

Oh but that's not all. That's not all AHA. I couldn't get rid of the favorites I would riot against myself

Stan and Ford. Somehow in their 80ish, but are still disturbingly spry after one of their adventures and finding a old fountain myth.

But yeah! That's what I got for now. I'd like other people to see this au, even if it's not the most original so please reblog 👍

[nerdalmighty]

hey! so, i just recently started playing baldur's gate 3 after seeing people put it all over my dash for months--and you're one of the people i've seen reblogging a lot of posts about it LOL. so if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering what kind of character do you/did you play as? and do you have any sort of backstory for your tav that you'd like to share?

Hoooooooooooooh my god thank you so much for asking. I have a friend who comes over to watch me play on Thursdays and I make a powerpoint every week to catch her up on what she missed - this week's powerpoint literally has slides about my Tav's background (more on those later). This is about to be long, I'm about to drop ALL my lore so buckle up! AND THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY BG3 BRAIN WORMS!!!!! I'm glad they convinced you to play 😈

So to begin, I've been in my first ever dnd campaign with a group of friends for a little over a year now. I didn't know much about Baldur's Gate except that it was a dnd video game and that you could romance people. Me, being a Big Fan of Romance And Fantasy was like "okay well I'm in" and my friend actually let me start a game at his house. Through that, I met Shadowheart, Gale, and Astarion.

Backing up a bit to my character; I decided I'd put my character from my irl dnd campaign into the game since I already knew her whole deal. I get pretty overwhelmed with making decisions, ESPECIALLY with big open world games like bg3, so knowing who/what I wanted to be really helped me out.

In the campaign I'm in with friends, it's pirate themed, and I play a half-elf bard named Birdie Harp who's secretly half-siren (murder mermaid). To make a long story very short, she was born in the arctic and escaped her murderous pod during a coming-of-age trial where she also lost her siren abilities (hypnotizing voice, breathing underwater, etc).

I've watched a ton of Dimension 20 which is an actual play show on Dropout.tv (an "actual play" is where you watch other people run a campaign of dnd - like Critical Role, which a lot of people have at least heard of - HIGHLY recommend Dimension 20, as I find it incredibly funny and easier to get into than CR because of the episode lengths), and I knew that I really liked the silliness and theatricality of the bard class. I also loved the bards from The Owl House which helped influence my decision as well.

To be honest, Birdie is my first ever dnd character, so she's basically a self insert but with a MUCH more traumatic backstory than me (this IS dnd after all). As for the half-elf aspect, it was more of an "I want to be half mermaid, what's similar to that?" as opposed to a love for half-elves or something.

BACK TO BALDUR'S GATE - knowing I wanted Birdie to be in the game, I felt a lot less overwhelmed to come up with something entirely new - I knew a lot about the bard class having played one so I wanted to CONTINUE playing one (and I've learned even more since playing bg3!).

When I finally got my own game (I no longer play at my friend's house, but in the comfort of my own home), I recreated Birdie and started on my journey in earnest. I'm VERY MUCH someone who likes to be in control and know what to expect, so I've had guides and walkthroughs to help me the whole time - SUE ME! When it came to first meeting Shadowheart, Gale, and Astarion back at my friend's house, Gale actually immediately stole my heart - a kind, witty wizard who likes books and cats? Literally say less. I went home from that session with my friend fully thinking I'd be a Gale girlie until I really looked into the other options and saw The Vampire.

Blah blah blah, he's hot and funny, but he can also be incredibly soft, which really won me over in the end. So I've been romancing That Guy.

Through Acts 1 and 2, I wasn't all too sure about this version of Birdie's background - sure she COULD still be that half-siren from the arctic, but the game kept suggesting she was FROM Baldur's Gate. I LOVED the inclusion of the harpies in Act 1 and thought maybe that was a viable entry point for her backstory, but so far, she was kind of just... me? She was making the choices I wanted to make (and a few that I knew Astarion would like lmao), but she wasn't really her own entity apart from me except for her name. She also felt vastly different from that character I'd created for my friends over a year ago. For instance, my irl Birdie currently has a crush on a Gale-type character, but this Birdie is ass deep in Astarion (hey, sorry I said "ass deep in Astarion"). The thing I love about Baldur's Gate 3 is how you can really come up with your own backstories, since the in-game one for your Tav is so vague. It's totally fine to ignore tiny details in the game and mold them to your own headcanons for your Tav, but I was so unsure of what I wanted for this Birdie that I kind of internalized that she was from Baldur's Gate.

HEADS UP! The following has some spoilers for Act 3 and some side quests, so STOP reading if that's something you'd care to avoid (the last 3 paragraphs of this post are SAFE from spoilers):

When Act 3 finally rolled around (which is where I am currently, I only have the one playthrough so far because I become INCREDIBLY attached to things), I stumbled across the Water Queen's House in Baldur's Gate. Ah ha! Now this felt promising.

A temple dedicated to the Vengeful Sea Goddess, Umberlee, and her loyal Wave Servants to serve her. It's ocean themed, it has mermaid undertones, and their goddess is basically evil. Seems like the perfect place to FINALLY insert this version of Birdie. I wasn't 100% sure until I completed the Iron Throne mission and was faced with either handing a (mostly) innocent man over to the Wave Servants, or fighting to defend him.

Here are a few of the slides from this week's powerpoint that I mentioned all the way back at the start, starting with SOME background on the Wave Servants:

Ass and Shart are what I affectionately call Astarion and Shadowheart (Also I got this beautiful "Birdie" art on Pinterest which originated from someone named Dantrelium on Reddit):

Apologies for the small text here, but there are some more details about THIS Birdie here, which I literally made up/figured out earlier this week:

Essentially, this Birdie was born at the Water Queen's House as Kittiwake Crest - Kittiwakes are common arctic birds, which I thought would be a nice little homage to the original character she was based off of. She was raised by the collective of Wave Servants there, the main one being Flood Tide Allandra Grey who seems to be head honcho at the Wave Mother's House (in this reality, she is).

Since Umberlee is such a vengeful goddess, I imagine she asked her Wave Servants to commit unspeakable acts in her name, mainly drownings, which THEY see as merciful, but I think Birdie always saw as horrifying. Who were they to decide the fates of others? I also think that the Wave Servants themselves were abusive during her upbringing to keep her in line (but much like how Nocturne was a light in the darkness for Shadowheart, I don't think EVERY Wave Servant was evil). GOTTA have a classic tragic backstory.

Upon researching Umberlee, I learned that most of her servants are clerics, so in my mind, that means Birdie was raised to eventually become one, with her official title eventually going to be "Seawind Kittiwake Crest." Is she still half-siren/mermaid though? Not entirely sure. This IS a magical world though, so I'd be inclined to say yes, probably.

But when we first meet the Wave Servants, they're singing beautifully for their drowned sister, Holli. I think Birdie REALLY loved music and singing with her sisters and secretly trained herself in bard magic when she should have been learning to be a cleric. It's also a classic trait of bards to hide their pain through humor, so I often imagine the type of stupid things Birdie gets up to to bring herself joy (my favorite headcanon being when you meet Skittle the Rat in Wyrm's Rock prison - he's a rat merchant who speaks exclusively in puns. I think Birdie and Gale would excitedly throw puns back and forth with Skittle while Astarion and Shadowheart begrudgingly (and affectionately) roll their eyes in the background).

Another thing I love about the game is how you can string together your own ideas of how companions react to things between big cut scenes. For example, in my head, in my game, Astarion has really become a Big Softy thanks to how fucking Stupid (affectionate) Birdie acts in life and has drawn him out of his shell, but also runs a tag team scam with her where she plays her lute to distract people while he loots an entire place. Gale is Birdie's partner in crime when it comes to tomfoolery and loves to joke and fool around with her (so long as it goes easy on his knees). And Shadowheart is basically a sister figure who flip flops between sassing with Astarion and joining in on the fun. THEY'RE JUST THE BEST, OKAY? OF COURSE I'M GONNA WALK AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS. I LOVE THEM.

Anyway, back to Birdie's backstory: she always hated the atrocities that were asked of her, and she was looking for a way out, but was too scared to take that step and leave since the Wave Mother's House is all she's ever known. One night, while stepping out to quietly dip her toes in the water, the Mindflayers captured her, and that's where we start Act One, all the way up on the Nautiloid. She changed her name to Birdie to distance herself from her previous life, fully took up the bard class, and the rest is history.

Back to that dilemma with handing over that (mostly) innocent guy or fighting the Wave Servants: with encouragement from the party, they convince Birdie to face her traumatic upbringing and fight the Wave Servants once and for all. At this point in Act 3, she's basically helped every single person with their problems except her own. Here's another slide featuring Ass and Birdie:

That's right folks, Birdie faced her past! But the bad news is we don't get to see Astarion in this (audio from The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction):

(Video description - Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 wearing the Wave Mother's Armor with the following audio:

Guard 1: Whoa, check it out.

Guard 2: Hubba hubba hubba.

Gaurd 1: Nice. I love dudes in skirts.

END VIDEO.) I don't want to tell you how many times I recorded that until I felt like I got it right lol. Also yes, I DID do a scum save where I handed the guy over ONCE just so I could see Ass in this outfit, but Birdie did canonically save Redhammer in my actual save file.

And honestly, that's BASICALLY it for now! My most recent save was after that battle, so I need to figure out if Birdie's going to go back with her party to confront the rest of (or most of) the Wave Servants, or if this chapter of her life is closed.

In an ideal world I'd LOVE to make one of those artsy gif edits of my Tav like this and this, but PS5s make it hard to download clips without uploading them to YouTube first which I don't really want to do.

Thank you SO MUCH for this ask, I had a blast writing it!! Sorry it's so long, I just love this game so much and LOVE talking about it. Please feel free to ask more questions OR chat with me about YOUR Tav! I'd love to hear all about them :)

[thetriumphantpanda]

Cruel Summer | Javier Peña (Chapter Four)

Javier helps you with an idea to help raise much needed money for your shop that turns out to be better than expected. In a moment of madness, the truth comes to the surface. Can you truly be happy with Javier when there's the ghost of your ever-present husband behind you?

Pairing | Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count | 3.6k

Warnings | Smoking, drinking, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of domestic abuse but nothing explicit, some fluff and FINALLY THESE TWO GET SOME INTIMACY.

Authors Note | You guys have no idea how excited this chapter has made me. THESE TWO IDIOTS ARE CONSUMING MY LIFE and I'm finally getting them where they need to be. If you enjoyed this I'd love to hear from you - comments, reblogs and asks are my lifeblood and if you liked it, I hope you consider dropping me a follow to keep up to date with my fics and to join my little family. Love y'all.

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

The heat was stifling in the back of your shop. Silently cursing the fact that Ethan hadn’t been generous enough to fix the air conditioning you wiped at your brow before deciding you couldn’t focus on the sewing in front of you enough to do a decent job of it. 

At the front of the shop, you threw open the door, the air was hot, so you weren’t sure what you were hoping to achieve by it but the warm breeze now flowing through was enough to give you some temporary relief. 

Setting yourself behind the cash register and pulling your book out to take a break was all you could focus on doing right now. Thankfully, a welcome distraction appeared in the form of Javier, arms laden with clothes. 

“Afternoon querida,” He greeted, “Pops sent me down with some clothes, can I leave them with you?” 

You’d barely seen him since Gabriela’s wedding the previous weekend. If anyone had watched you dance together then no-one had told Ethan about it because you hadn’t faced any of the consequences normally reserved for so much as looking at Javier. He was out of town in New York for some kind of sales meeting and you the relief you’d felt as soon as he’d closed the door and left was indescribable.  

“Sure thing,” You nodded, “What’s wrong with them?” 

“Just holes of varying descriptions, some of the seams have popped, the usual ranch acquired casualties.” 

You laughed, taking the pile, “I’d say that I would take them and sort them now but it’s far too hot back there to concentrate, so I’ll sort them as soon as I can and then bring them around if that’s okay?” 

“Of course,” He smiled, “Do you not have AC?” 

“Well, I did, it’s broken and when I had someone come to check it out, they said the whole thing needed replacing, Ethan said the price was extortionate and that it wasn’t worth the money.” 

“Well Ethan isn’t the one who needs to work here all day, is he?” Javier countered, “If it gets much hotter in here, you’re going to make yourself sick.” 

“If it gets too bad then I can just take some of this stuff home with me,” You pointed out, “Means shutting up shop but not many people pass through anyway.” 

“You should get it fixed, querida.” 

“With what money, Javi?” 

“Okay, here’s an idea,” He mused, “How about we stop waiting for people to come to you, and take you to the people?” 

You furrowed your brow, “I’m not following?” 

“The farmers market, on Saturday,” He explained, “We get you a stall and you can take those shirts you’ve been making and sell them there, hand out cards whilst you do it for the repairs you do.” 

You had to admit that it was a good idea. You had piles of shirts perfect for the ranchers just piled up gathering dust and Gabriela had bought you a bunch of business cards as an opening gift when the shop first opened. 

“It’s a good idea.” You admitted. 

“I know it is, let me go and talk to the guy in charge, Pops knows him so it should be pretty straight forward, and you’ll have your shiny new AC unit before you know it.” 

He turned on his heel to leave but you reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back around to look at you, “Thank you Javi,” You smiled, “I really mean it, I appreciate this. I appreciate you.” 

He smiled back, “Anything for you, querida.” 

*

Javier had stuck true to his word and spoken to Mitch, who had allocated you a stall at the market without trouble. The pitch he’d given you was right at the entrance, one of the first stalls people would walk past and you wondered if Javi had anything to do with that, but you decided to push that thought to the back of your head as you folded another shirt into a bag, Gabriela throwing in a business card as you handed it to the customer and took their cash in return. 

Gabriela threw herself back down into the chair she’d brought, resting her ankles with a hand on her bump, “You can go home you know?” You offered, it was hot, and you knew she was struggling, fanning herself and taking a sip of the lemonade she’d bought from the stall a few rows down. 

“And miss your entrepreneurial debut?” She snorted, “Not a chance, besides, it won’t be long until this one takes away any semblance of social life I’ve ever had, I’m in it to the end, celebratory drinks at the bar and everything.” 

“Hola, Mija.” A familiar voice draws you from your conversation with Gabriela. 

“Chucho!” You greeted warmly, “How are you today?” 

“I’m good,” He smiles, “Javi assured me you might have some shirts I’d be interested in.” 

“He would be right,” You replied, eyes searching the crowd behind him for Javier, “Have a rummage through and see if there’s anything you like.” 

“He’s just picking up some ingredients for our meals this week,” Chucho states as his eyes look at the shirts displayed on your stall, “He’ll stop by in a minute.” 

You looked to Gabriela who was smirking to herself, they both had you read like a book when it came to him. 

“Find anything you like, Pops?” Came his voice as he emerged from the crowd behind Chucho, a paper bag filled to the brim with what looked like an assortment of vegetables. 

He set it down on one of the empty spaces on your table as he thumbed through the shirts himself, pulling out one you’d made in a rush over the past few days in order to have enough to sell. It was a light beige colour with a checked pattern of reds and browns. Chucho had settled on a similar style but in a deep red colour with a green pattern instead. Chucho took Javi’s pick and handed them to you, you diligently bagged them up and took Chucho’s payment. 

“Take those to the truck, Pops, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Chucho tipped his hat to you in a goodbye and left, “How is it going?” Javi asked. 

“Well, the table was full a few hours ago and I don’t have much left, so I think it’s safe to say it was a success.” You smiled. 

“Well, I’m glad,” He smiled back, “You should really thank the guy who came up with the idea.”

“I’m not really sure how.” You spoke softly, Gabriela dragging you out of your flirting with a cough. 

“Javi, we’re heading to a bar after so she can count her takings and celebrate, you should come!” Gabriela said, standing from her chair. 

“How many of you are going?” He asked, obviously fishing for whether he’d need to spend time in close quarters with your husband. 

“It’ll just be Gabriela and her husband and me,” You answered, “Ethan is still away working.” 

“Well, why don’t you girls stay put whilst I take Pops home and I can come back and drive you all there?” 

You nodded in agreement and parted with a plan that Javi would come back in the next few hours. 

“He’s always been a nice guy, hasn’t he?” Gabriela mused as she started folding shirts to pack away, the crowds thinning slightly. 

“Gabriela, behave yourself.” You warned, following her actions. 

“I was just making an observation,” She held her hands up in a fake surrender, “But don’t think I didn’t notice the two of you dancing at my wedding,” She smirked, “You looked happy, Chica, for the first time in years, he brings out something good in you, he always has.” 

You sighed, trying to busy yourself with packing down, “Too bad he didn’t stick around.” You mumbled, mainly for yourself. 

“You were the one that just let yourself coast through whatever plan your mother had for you,” Gabriela prodded, knowing it was a sore subject, “If you’d have said no things could be different.” 

“I did it for my papa, Gabriela.” You shot, tone dangerously close to a fight. 

“And he more than anyone would hate what you put up with, how unhappy you are.” 

“Can we just drop it please?” You pleaded, “It’s been such a nice day, I don’t want to fight.” 

She pulled you into a hug, trying not to squish her belly too far into you, “I’m sorry chica,” She spoke into your cheek, “I just want you to be happy.” 

*

“Sixty, Eighty, one hundred.” You called as you slapped down the last of the notes on the bar table, just in time for Javier to place three cold beers and a bottle of soda down, “Oh my god, that’s halfway to what I needed!” You exclaimed, all three of your friends breaking out into grins and congratulations. 

You sat down, shuffling into the booth so Javier could sit next to you. He was sat across from Diego, Gabriela’s husband, who gratefully took the beer he’d offered. 

“Well, here’s to a new AC unit,” You smiled, watching as everyone clinked their bottles together before sipping them, “And to Javi, for the great idea.” 

You’d chosen a different bar to normal, one that was further out of town, mainly to avoid any of Ethan’s friends who would be hanging around, ready to report back to him that they’d seen you with Javier. It was quieter than your usual place and you could smell something delicious wafting from the kitchen. 

“I want wings,” You declared, “Anyone else?” There were nods around the table. 

“I’ll come with you,” Diego offered, “My treat.” 

Javi moved to let you out of the booth before sitting back down, scooting across so he was opposite Gabriela. She wasted no time in getting down to business, something that Javi had always enjoyed about her. 

“You make her really happy, you know?” She asked, “I know you probably don’t see it, but since you’ve been back, she’s been different, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing my best friend back.” 

Javier could do nothing other than smile, “I really upset her when I left,” He admitted, “And when I didn’t reach out, I knew I was hurting her more, but I guess I thought it was for the best.” 

“Between the two of us,” Gabriela began, leaning forward on the table, “She’s always needed to learn the hard way, you can talk as much sense into her as you think she needs but she’s always going to have to make mistakes and make the wrong choices to learn what she wants.” 

“That why she got married?” 

Gabriela scoffed, “She got married because her mama forced her Javi, I had weeks of her on my porch in tears, saying she didn’t love him and that she didn’t want the big dress or the church wedding, that she was going to pack up and run away, I think at one point she actually did pack her bag, but then when her dad got sick everything changed,” She shrugged, “It was fucking horrible but her mama cashed in on it, getting it into her head that he wanted to see her married before he died and she just rolled over and let it happen.” 

There was on question on Javier’s lips that he wanted to ask. He wasn’t blind, he’d seen how Ethan had spoken to her when they’d been at his house for dinner, he could see the way he looked at her, like she was his property, “Does he hurt her?” 

Gabriela shook her head, “She’s never admitted it, but I can put two and two together,” She leant back in her seat, “We’ve planned things together, dinners, movies, shopping trips, you know, the stuff all best friends do together and then she’ll call and cancel at the last minute with excuses like she’s sick or she’s got a headache and then I won’t see or hear from her for a week and then everything will be back to normal,” She shrugged, “I can’t help her if she doesn’t tell me and even when I ask the answer is always some form of no but I’ve never believed her.” 

Javi nodded, trying to keep his anger at bay. He couldn’t imagine anyone hurting you. You were sweet and all you’ve ever wanted to do with anyone you’d met was make them happy. How Ethan couldn’t see that, see what kind of prize he’d one with that ring around her finger, he would never understand. 

“He doesn’t deserve her,” Gabriela insisted, “And she doesn’t deserve to be miserable for the rest of her life, you’ve opened her up so much in just a few weeks, I’m begging you Javier, please do the rest.” 

He was about to ask what she meant when you and Diego came back to the table, arms laden with wings and fries, “I hope everyone is hungry, we went a bit overboard.” You put the food in the middle for everyone whilst Diego dashed back to the bar and came back with another round of drinks. 

The rest of the evening was nice. You chatted about everything and nothing at all, no-one really asked Javier about Colombia which you could tell he was grateful for. Gabriela did her best to tell the table the horror stories of pregnancy which was enough to swear you off it for the rest of your life. Diego and Javi spent some time talking about the boats they’d seen heading upriver, surmising it was drug runners, but you hadn’t really been paying attention. 

You had to admit it was lovely. Not having to worry about Ethan getting too drunk, saying something to upset someone or trying to start of fight. There was no possessive hand on your hip or a hushed whisper in your ear to tell you not to look so miserable because you were embarrassing him. Just four friends drinking and laughing together. You felt light. 

“You want one?” Javi asked, gesturing to his cigarette packet. 

You nodded and followed him as he scooted from the booth to lead you outside, not wanting to subject Gabriela to a face full of smoke. 

“I’m proud of you, you know?” Javier mused once he’d lit both your cigarettes. 

You looked up at him and grinned, “It was all your idea,” You shrugged, “I just turned up.”

Maybe it was the two shots of tequila you’d taken with Diego in secret at the bar whilst waiting for you food, or the four bottles of beer you’d finished over the course of the night, but something dangerous was boiling in your blood. Reckless, you realized, you were feeling reckless. 

“Hey Javi?” You spoke, getting his attention so he would turn to you. 

As soon as he did, you stood on tiptoes and pressed a quick, soft kiss to his lips, lingering long enough for him to know it hadn’t been a slip up but short enough to hopefully leave him wanting more. When you stood back on your flat feet, he was back on you almost immediately, cigarette dropped to the ground, yours following not long after as his hands cradled your face, and his lips were back on yours.

You’d dreamed of this moment for years. What would he taste like? Cigarettes, beer and something you could quite place. What would it feel like? Like the whole world around you had melted away and you were the only thing he had that could sustain him. Would he take things slow, or would it be rushed and messy? Slow, his mouth opening in order to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue mix with yours at a pace that told you he had all the time in the world. Would it be everything you’d ever dreamed of? Yes, and then some.

He pulled back and you opened your eyes, his face was still dangerously close to yours, just the smallest of movements and you could consume his mouth with your own again. You almost did, until the door to the bar opened. Instinctively you stepped back and you were glad you did, Gabriela and Diego were there. 

“We’re gonna head home, my ankles are screaming.” Gabriela announced, “Want a ride back?” She asked you. 

You looked at Javier who’s face betrayed nothing of what just happened, or what he was feeling in that moment, “Sure, saves you taking me to the other side of town and then driving back here to go to the ranch.” You speak, half to Gabriela and half to Javi. 

There’s a brief goodbye, Javi shakes Diego’s hand and gives him the customary manly clap on the back and then Gabriela receives a hug. He gives you a similar hug to Gabriela, not getting too close and you’re thankful because there is a want coursing through your blood that makes you feel like if he pressed his body to yours, you’d rip off every inch of material from his body and fuck him in the parking lot. 

*

It's late and you can’t sleep. Somewhere between Gabriela dropping you off and this moment right now, led on your back staring at your ceiling, you’d decided it was all a big mistake, but not from your point of view. How could Javi want you like that? It’d been a long waiting game to see him come back, you were almost convinced he wouldn’t at one point. How could he want you, with your pathetic life and a wedding ring around your finger. 

You push back the sheets and start getting dressed. It was irrational but you needed to know. You needed to ask him. Then you could move on, go back to being miserable and trying your best not to upset your husband enough that he hit you. Go back to your floundering business, sewing up the odd hole for someone and wishing you’d taken the opportunity to run whilst you could have. 

Unbeknownst to you, Javier is having the same argument with himself of Chucho’s porch. Glass of whiskey half abandoned on the floor he’s thinking there’s no way you could want him. No way that the girl who had always been sunshine personified could want all his sharp edges and dark thoughts. No way you could want to lie next to him and listen to the nightmares or to let his mind wander to all those people dead because he couldn’t do his job properly. 

That’s why the headlights at the end of the ranch driveway were a surprise. They cut out and at first, he couldn’t see who it was opening the door and barreling towards the front porch with purpose. Then he realized it was you and he couldn’t quite believe it. As you came to a stop on his porch in front of him he could tell you were frazzled, your hair was a mess from what he could only assume was the same tossing and turning he did every night when he couldn’t find sleep, and he could tell from the redness around your eyes that you’d been crying. 

“Do you regret it?” You asked. 

“Querida, I…”

“Do you regret kissing me, Javi?” You cut him off. 

“I could never regret anything with you hermosa.” Was his answer without even thinking. 

You stepped back from him, “Fuck!” You exclaimed, “God this would have been so much easier if you’d said yes.” 

“Hey, hey calm down.” Javier attempted to soothe you, standing from his seat on the porch to put his hands on your shoulders. 

“I hate him, Javi,” You were crying now, tears flowing freely down your face, “I hate how he makes me feel, hate what he’s turned me into, the way I felt when we kissed earlier is the first time I’ve felt genuinely happy since before you left for Colombia, I just want something good in my life again.” 

“Querida, I’m not the same man I was before I left,” He warned, “Colombia… it did things to me, made me do things I’m not proud of, things I don’t know that I can ever make right, there’s something here,” He says, hand to chest, “That I worry about, I don’t want to bring any more misery to your life.” 

“I have waited years for you Javier Peña and I will not let you talk yourself out of this, I won’t let you talk me out of it.” 

“Do you really understand what you’re asking for?” He asked, searching your eyes for doubt, you nodded in response, “You need to say it.” He demands. 

“I’m asking you to give me respite Javi,” You speak softly, “I need you to take me away from my misery, even if it’s for an hour, a day, however long we might have,” You stopped and looked into his eyes, “Please don’t make me beg for you again.”

He takes hold of your hand in a gentle way that you don’t think you’ve ever experienced and leads you to the bench on the porch. He sits down and gestures for you to do the same which you do, a gasp leaving your lips when he drags you into his side, arm wrapped around your shoulders and a kiss pressed to the top of your head. 

Your eyes close and a tear falls down your cheek. It is the most intimate you’ve been with anyone in months, and he hasn’t taken a single item of your clothing off your body. 

“If you want me, I’m yours hermosa, in whatever way that has to be.” Javi speaks softly, another kiss dropped to you, this time to your forehead as you look up at him. 

You sit up and turn your body towards his, finally pressing a kiss to his lips, pulling back just enough to utter the words, “I want you, Javier, more than the air that I breathe.” 

PREV | NEXT

[thelingering]

a little about me

*voice* hello!! I see you've found my blog

I post and reblog random stuff here, and this is my favourite child of my accounts (I mostly use it for the most personal posts of mine)

here are the others if you were interested!

@themovementsoflife (photography)

@naughtsimpossible (poetryy)

@thespeakinglingering (talkers)

@thecatholiclingering (my very Catholic blog)

@lingeringthesecond (my reblogs 'cause everything was so muddy)

@poetic-song-lyrics (a blog dedicated to the lyrics of the world that just work, run by my very good friend @saltedcaramelchaos and myself)

wow I have a lot of side blogs

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anyways, I'll start by telling you what we're all about here, and we can be on our merry little ways:

first I need to tell you something: it is greatly appreciate and encouraged to spam like/reblog my posts if that's what you desire, and I will always derive joy from seeing you on my dash

next then I suppose, I've never felt comfortable giving out my real name, so you can call me whatever your heart desires! you'll notice I call myself Lingo a lot though, 'tis a very lovely nickname on of my best friends cane up with (I'm he/him though); also I'm a teenager :D do with that what you will

random but I am. half-Irish and born and raised in the US, pretty much everywhere in this grand country other than the South honestly

I'm a devout Catholic (pro-life all the way, and we don't condone any sort of hate on this blog), and some of my favourite activities include playing my guitar, talking with people, and reading!

I also enjoyy:

poetry

writing

music

making music

cats

talking with my friends

dogs

people

my bed

music

learning new skills

the Red Hot Chili Peppers

music

meeting new people

writing

flannels (MY BELOVED)

and others! (I can't remember all of them)

I also take a large interest in languages and etymology, and I hold it true that my linguistic spirit animal is Youtube user 'etymology_nerd' and my Linguist Best Friend Who Blows Me Away is @saltedcaramelchaos ^-^ (hehe get tagged)

I'm actually currently attempting to translate the phrase "You (all) are my beloved(s)", both plural and not, into as many languages as I can muster! the Big Post for that is here

the variety of music I enjoy is far too broad to list here, but let's say anything but bad country (although I do especially enjoy The Arcadian Wild, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Dirt Poor Robins, Jack Johnson, Green Day, Jim Croce, dc Talk, The Oh Hellos, and others)

I'm not sure what all I'll post here, or what accounts will get made over time, but I'll be sure to update this as things happen

The paragraph above this one has honestly just been left here for nostalgic reasons, this blog is mostly the one I use to talk with people/to you all lol :D

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some tags I'm currently using:

#catholicism and/or #catholic stuff --- my Catholic posts on main :3 #lingo gets infused with bluegrass --- anything that I post about while I learn how to write and play bluegrass music #tag: eg pd lb --- my liveblogging of the Late, the Great, and the COLEEEEEE STYLEEEEEE Prime Defenders from the JRWI team ^-^ #the talkies tag --- posts that are my talking to you all :3

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okay, that's all!

if you want to talk with, chat with, or ask questions about, me I'd be more than happy to!

now you may be on your merry way, I've held you long enough

stay strong out there

wait, one more quick thing

make sure you fill up your body's hourly coolant with water and don't forget a routine fuel refill, I'd hate for you to run out of gas halfway through the day

also specific person mention: ak if you see this I can confirm you're an amazing person and I love you a lot 🫵 if you impact everyone's life half as much as you have mine then. well. actually I'm sure you have and do, you're the best ^-^

ok now byee!!

[someverygaymoth]

*°•MASTER POST•°*

Welcome to The Moth Den; Asks are open!

This blog is home to KD!AU, DFT!AU, The Retriver Institute, The Horrors in the Wilde, CFK!AU, The living castle, Bugged!Cross(Bug), and plenty of other AUs. Also check out @mofts-evil-reblogs for my evil reblogs!

(check out my AU details list here)

✨We're Proship✨ Well, what does that mean? No one deserves harassment over writing/drawing taboo topics in a completely fictional fandom with completely fictional characters!

✨ We're comship✨ Well what does that mean? We ship some ⚠️CW⚠️ worthy ships! All are fictional and tagged appropriately. Instructions on how to use the keyword blocker are in this YouTube link! (More about what I draw/discuss below the cut so you can block disliked tags)

Two quick rules!

We're a SFW blog here, I will say we've got some suggestive themes, so I'd say please keep our asks appropriate for a 15+ audience, alright?

I'm being so serious when I tell you do NOT come on my page with anti rhetoric, I use the block button as the Tumblr devs intended,

Links↓↓ and about me↓↓

And a quick note, I do not currently take drawing or writing requests, but I do take suggestions. If you would like to suggest something to draw, I do not guarantee that even if I respond I will do said suggestion or finish it if I do start it.

Please feel free to ask questions about my AUs and the characters within them!

Also my DMs are always open to new writers and new friends! I am literally never bothered by messages, please ask me questions, please write new things, and please have fun! I'm not as awesome as some of you think I am, I'm just another silly person, and I love meeting other silly people.

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Here's the link to our SFW Discord, make sure to be kind and pay attention to the rules!

You can find me on AO3 at Some_Very_GayMoth, although not everything on there is SFW, so navigate with care!

And on Twitter, where I never post, @TgayMoth

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As I mentioned before It's important to note that I do write ✨Comship/dead dove✨ content, and as a psych enthusiast, I believe exploring darkness through fiction can be a positive and safe experience! So, hopefully there's no confusion there. There's a list of what I am comfortable writing about vs not below. (That is why I focus heavily on tagging all of my works adequately, and all of my posts! So that you can block keywords you don't want popping up on your timeline, and you —hopefully— never have to run into anything you don't want to see on my page!)

Please make sure to take care of yourself and pay attention to tags on any of my writing, or any writing in general. If you see something you do not want to see, don't click on it. Tumblr does indeed have a keyword filter, and I will always do my best to use keywords in my posts, so if you do not know how to set up your keyword filter with the things you don't want to see on your timeline, I would highly recommend you check out this link on YouTube that will show you exactly how to do that!

Now that I've mentioned keyword filters— here's what I write/talk about frequently so you can block the tags you don't want to hear about! As well as what tags I have blocked because I don't enjoy them personally, because everybody has boundaries and it's okay to have yours. (Just remember you're responsible for enforcing your boundaries by blocking people and tags you don't agree with/enjoy)

I write angst, violence, hurt/comfort, gore, all that good stuff.

I've written twincest(shout-out to Dreammare)

I've written stuff about anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, disability, all sorts of trauma, lots of that.

I've written Major character death, violence, and some mild gore too! A lot of that is for The Horrors in the Wilde, so keep that in mind, lmao.

Also, cannibalism because vampires! Thanks for that one Moon, Snow, and Stars.

You can block all of those, or block #Comship content to get rid of any mentions of that on my page!

Honestly I think that's all I have, which is kinda L, maybe I need to step up my dark fiction game if this is all I've got. (It can get so much worse and istg I will write worse stuff to spite anyone who's tossing around hate like it's confetti. And I'll tag it properly so they don't have to see it if it makes them uncomfortable. I'm just cool like that.)

Oh btw if you're not tagging your stuff properly or make a fuss about tagging things when someone tells you that you didn't tag something properly, you and me aren't cool. Nothing about that is okay. I will never fuss about someone asking me to add a tag, if I EVER miss something please tell me, I will happily add tags for you and keep them in mind for next time.

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As for my good normal tags, I'd recommend checking out the following on my page:

#bad sans poly

#moft asks

#moft reblogs (stuff important enough to make it onto the main or rambles!)

#moft mootland (my silly rambles with moots)

#moft updates (for series updates and stuff about the blog)

#the retriever institute

#dft!au

#the horrors in the wilde

#kd!au

#cfk!au

#fgp!au

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About me↓↓

I have been writing for about five years now for the fandom, and I've been here since about the very beginning. Like when we were still figuring out that undertale had a genocide route, lmao. I actually got into UMTV through CPAU and never managed to make it out, lmao. I started posting my writing back in early 2020. It's been so wonderful to see this fandom grow and change, blossoming with many fun aus and beautiful ideas, and I hope I can contribute to many more beautiful ideas on my little corner of the internet.

I have some physical health problems that may make it difficult for me to post more regularly, but I will do my best!

Disclaimer; we are a OSDD system, I've known since about 2022, but it's not something we particularly enjoy discussing online unless it's relevant to a topic at hand. But, to my fellow systems, you're always welcome here. If you have questions, we're comfortable answering them, so feel free to ask.

[note-boom]

(abt ur tags on that fic rec list post) I'd love to know more gen bsd fics!!! if u don't mind pls make a list of them

OP, I hope you understand that you have unleashed a monster considering how many BSD fics I consumed. But that said, I'll try to keep it short and strictly gen for this ask, then just reblog with the rest (some do have implied ships, though). Most of them are just fluff and one-shots. And I haven't really read much fanfic recently, so most of these are my bookmarks from before I even really got into this blog and my memory on them might be shaky; generally, I either liked them because good writing, good characterization, good analysis, and/or it was just too funny/too interesting to not bookmark. Some might have Americanisms/Westernisms of things that probably don't really happen in Japan (probably?) and some might have slight character assassinations, but I don't think anything should be too gratuitously unforgivable. Also, all opinions are my own and do not reflect on either the writing or the author's original intent.

So under the cut are my absolute favourite of favourites.

Morning Light (18021 words) by FallenBrie (time loop, Atsushi character exploration, ADA!found family)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! (20976 words) by aptlydapper (3 chapters, still my all-time favourite bsd fanfic for the writing and the concept and its execution, Chuuya joins the ADA basically but so much more than that to me)

Conundrum (23921 words) by AdmiralTDeVanto (hi, I love this AU so much, role-reversal where aku and atsu are the older figures and dazai and chuuya are the younger ones, some other au roleswaps happen but that's a surprise)

circle of praise (1898 words) by Oxalisalis (have a few by this author (love their works so much, they have some great BEAST things), basically compliment assault, ADA family, sweet and funny)

The Scent of Milk Tea (1343 words) by Sternstunde (Atsushi and Chuuya are housemates, neither is aware of the other's job, please let them meet in canon, 2 chapters and unfinished)

Reason To Live (1746 words) by Allwalkfree (time travel fic with a take on akutagawa's future character arc that left me DEAD, just...him being better than the people he was taught by okay? and him having a clearer picture of the stuff he went through etc)

hell is empty (all the devils are here) (1065 words) by Origamidragons (legit one of my FAVOURITE Gin character explorations, shoutout to the use of her character's irl short story)

in the end, you write your verse (6858 words) by Origamidragons (ADA and PM role swap and it's honestly SO GOOD that I desperately wish there was more of this (in a this fic is INCREDIBLE way, that is))

In The Choice, There's Peace (2561 words) by treetrunkdaddy (chill vibes, fic that explores Atsushi's character so nicely to me through how he copes with anger)

Mark of a Teacher (527 words) by Seito (Kunikida has been framed as a terrorist apparently and his students see the news headlines, it's hilarious and just fun)

A Study From Stripes (teach me to be loved again) (29684 words) by MidnighttWriter (beloved fic with beloved writing, Atsushi trauma exploration, might feel a little dark or emotional for bsd (in a different way, since BSD doesnt exactly shy away from being emotional or dark) but honestly beloved and SUCH a fascinating Atsushi character study to me)

would you believe me if i said i was blinded by the light? (1203 words) by elijay (half-blind Dazai real to me, but no its a really neat headcanon and that's all the fic is, which is all i wanted)

good bones (838 words) by Quintessence (I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, another Atsushi has a lot of trauma and the agency is flabbergasted)

5 Times Dazai Didn’t Understand Math And The 1 Time Kunikida Tried To Do Something About It (3746 words) by zededs (math is difficult, so is Dazai, Kunikida is stressed out, just a funny story)

how to get away with murder (10000 words) by magdalenes (11 chapters and unfinished, but it's SO SO good, the author is setting up the mystery so well, and it's basically just....detectives doing detective work but possibly also avoiding other detectives, more plotty than charactery)

what is a name (640 words) by Seito (guys, seriously, read this, im serious it has SUCH a good theory and the IMPLICATIONS of this to the larger bsd story????)

a secret for a secret (2302 words) by Oxalisalis (another of my FAVOURITE Gin fics, this author DELIVERED so well on their characterisation, slight canon divergence but perhaps not?)

But yeah. Because I somehow ended up opening over 130 tabs (that was after narrowing things down. i am so normal about BSD) for this ask, I'll just....reblog with more for those who are interested in gen fics. (It's why it took me a while, apologies.)

[peoniesformypony]

♡ hi there !! ✿ (๑°ㅁ°๑) ‼

★ i'm pinky ! no, i'm not a fictive or anything, i just go by pinky online! (although, if you are! that's cool) ! ♡ ★ i absolutely love pinkie pie because she has curly hair and blue eyes just like me, not only that but she's PINK ! ♡

★ i use the pronouns (she/her) ! i'm cisgender. I would never judge anyone for using the pronouns they feel comfortable with! ♡

★ this is a personal blog for me to share my interests as well just general things i'm thinking about ! i hope if you're checking out my blogs or reblogs you enjoy them ! ♡

my interests ♡ about me !! ★ omgg !! stuff about me and the things i like! how interesting ooo !! ♡

★ Hi again !! I'm pinky ! you should already know that though since i introduced myself earlier ! i am 18 (06) and i'm finishing up my senior year of highschool ! 2025 graduate ! ♡ ★ i love cats, bunnies and so many more animals ! kitties are my absolute favorite, though i don't personally have one, i think they're SO adorable !! ♡ ★ i love reading, writing, doodling, coloring, gaming, and so much more !! my favorite book series is HOO + PJO !! my favorite video game series is fallout, but i do enjoy stardew and more ! ♡ ★ i'm audhd & have BD, but that only makes me so much more cooler ! i love meeting new people and making friends ! i have issues with anxiety, but i'm working on them ! ♡ ★ i identify as a cisgender female, but i love boys and girls ! i'm a happy bisexual who's in a relationship ! ♡

♡ ♡ ♡ my fav characters ‼ ♡ ♡ ♡

★ Dick Grayson(DC) ♡ ★ Jason Todd (DC) ♡ ★ Fluttershy (MLP) ♡★ Pinkie Pie (MLP) ♡ ★ Boone (FNV) ♡★ Maccready (FO4) ♡ ★ Itachi (Naruto) ♡ ★ Butters (SP) ♡ ★ Clyde (SP) ♡ ★ Jason (HOO) ♡ ★ Luke (PJO) ♡ ★ Custard Cookie (CRK) ♡ ★ Kai (Ninjago) ♡ ★ Kaeya (GI) ♡ ★ And so many more !! ♡

♡ ♡ ♡ my interests ‼ ♡ ♡ ♡ (mix)

★ PJO ♡ ★ HOO ♡ ★ DC ♡ ★ Young Justice ♡ ★ Teen Titans ♡ ★ MLP ♡ ★ CRK ♡ ★ Fallout ♡ ★ Ninjago ♡ ★ Genshin ♡ ★ Honkai ♡ ★ Monster High ♡ ★ Minecraft ♡ ★ Stardew ♡ ★ Naruto ♡ ★ South Park ♡ ★ Sanrio ♡ ★ And so many more !! ♡

extra stuff ♡ !!

★ i love the south park games !! they're so silly !! ♡ ★ i dislike drama or mean people ! i think kindness should be what people aim for always, even if there are differing opinions ! ♡ ★ i collect plushies !! (i have over 200) !! ♡ ★ i collect stickers !! ♡ ★ peonies are my favorite flower !! ♡ ★ my opinions are my own, it's okay to agree to disagree !! ♡

★ i'm agere !! ♡ ★ boundaries are simple, please don't be a meanie and don't be a creep !! ♡ ★ basic dni !! 16+ !! ♡ ★ i'd love to be your friend !! ♡

(´,,>ω<,,`)♡ THANKS FOR READING !!!

[welkinsky]

Chishiya X Reader | New Era

WARNING: Spoilers, curse words & mention of weapons!

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your support and reblogs, as always! I see and appreciate each one of you! This is a PART OF A SERIES so people who are just reading this one post for the first time might not understand the context please read the parts linked below.

Part 1 | ... | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

He opened the door and it was Kuina. "They have been asking for you." She pointed to Aguni who was heading towards Hatter's meeting room.

He looked back at you as you sat up on the bed. "You both stay here." He said with a serious expression. It was rare that he was this serious and looked concerned. You knew something was wrong. Your mind raced in so many places. What if this was all because of what happened earlier? What if Aguni was against this all?

Before you can go deeper into your thoughts Kunia sat beside you with a jump and said, "Spill". You looked at her confused and then realized what she was talking about. You could feel the blood rushing to your face as you turned your face away from her. "You both fucked didn't you!" she said as she tried jumping in front of your face. "NO! I mean we almost went for it but then you came" it came out as a complaint.

"No way... am I... am I the problem?" she said trying to mimic the TikTok audio that was trending before you came to Borderland. You both laughed, this is what you loved about her. She can be a badass at the same time act like this, which kind of grounds you to the fact that you don't always have to be tense even in Borderlands.

But what tensed you and her right now is what could be happening there in the meeting hall.

~In the meeting hall~

As Chishiya entered the hall he was nervous himself but when he saw Hatter's body he was a bit happy. Which soon turned into a concern because this would mean that Aguni will take over. "I think No.2 should take over," Mira said adding to the conversation that they were having before Chishiya arrived.

Mostly everyone backed her up except Niragi. Of course, he had to. He wanted Aguni to be the next leader. Of course. Even after having the majority with No. 2 being the next leader he turned the odds with force as a gun was pointed at everyone's head and with that devilish smirk of his.

When it came to Chishiya it was as if he was threatening him, not even asking him to vote for Aguni. Chishiya obviously obliged as he put both his arms up with a smile. "Should have brought your little bitch here too. I'd love to see HER next to my baby (his gun)" he whispered as he walked away from Chishiya who then looked at Aguni.

Aguni was deep in thought. Chishiya knew he killed Hatter. BUT he kept silent.

~Back from there~

When he came back to his room, both Kuina and you were fast asleep on his bed.

You had your gossip session with her and told her everything, then you both talked about your lives back in the real world and ended up falling asleep while talking.

He smiled to himself, "Rest up you two." he said as he pulled the covers over on you two and slept on the couch. He knew what was coming is not going to be easy.

You woke up with a jerk, you had a nightmare. These nightmares were the new normal for you since every other day something happens that you never thought of in your wildest dreams, that you'll witness. 

To your surprise Chishiya was up already he must have made himself some tea and was walking out to his balcony. It was dawn. You didn't know he was an early riser. As much as you wanted to go back to sleep you wanted to talk to him. It was like something changed and now you just openly want to spend time with him.

You followed him, "Good Morning," You said sitting down on the floor next to him. To your surprise, he pulled you in and kissed you gently, and said oh-so-softly "Good Morning." You just were a shy mess to which he smiled as he pulled you closer.

You were so happy that this was okay to do all this because you wanted this SO BAD! "Comfort" was a long-lost dream of yours. Yes, materialistic comfort was obviously there because in a way the whole city was yours but this sort of comfort was what you were craving.

When you woke up the first thing that came to your mind was, "Hmm I want to see him... it'll be nice if I can get a kiss as well... or maybe moreee SHUT UP Y/N you don't even know what happened in the meeting last night plus what if it was a one-time thing for him." THEN you saw him walking out.

You both spent the next hour in comfortable silence as he shared his tea with you and your head resting on his shoulder. You could tell that he tensed up and soon he got used to it as well.

He then told you that this was all new to him. He has been with women but never had these feelings and how he hated but at the same time loved how unpredictable these feelings are! It has always been just to fulfill their physical needs.

He didn't dare to say anything as I like you or I LOVE YOU. He knew how you always say what you meant so you always put so much weight on these feelings. He cannot say it unless he KNOWS that he ACTUALLY feels like this.

"Having a tea party without me?" Kuina said coming from the room and rubbing her eyes. You giggled and gave her the rest of the tea even though it was cold now the sharing meant everything right.

"So what is the plan for today? We're actually doing it or not?" She asked Chishiya. "Doing what?" you butt in because he always involves you in everything they did.

You could see that Kuina made a mistake by asking this in front of you. "You'll know soon enough," Chishiya said not making any eye contact with you.

It triggered your survival instinct and your mind went straight to the fact that this is CHISHIYA after all. What if your views about him were correct? What if you were actually JUST A PAWN?

Part 1 | ... | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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Thanks For Reading and for all the support! Have an amazing week <3

Alice In Borderland Materlist

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

A-Z Headcanon

[draconscious]

NAME : dan!!

PRONOUNS : he/him

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : tumblr im. discord. passenger pigeon. I'm very slow sometimes but you should plot with me!!

NAME OF MUSE(s) : clair, cynthia, barry, jupiter/eris + so many mooore (how did it come to this? LMAO)

BEST EXPERIENCE(S) : dedicating this section to both ash (@analuein) and aya (@distortsverity)! ash and I have been writing together for infinity years right here on tumblr. no matter the muse, it's always a blast spinning up plots and watching the magic unfold from there with her. from thorton to violet, to noland and clair. from wildencounters to indie. it's been a fantastic ride. day one. 😎

I transitioned from group rp to indie a few years ago and--at the time--I was all alone. I had no connections, just a lonely barry blog to my name. I wrote drabbles by myself in the dark for two weeks until aya came across my blog with her hikari, and everything just clicked. aya made me feel included, reached out with ideas, plots and feedback, and showed love to barry and all of my muse(s)--and to this day, I still feel TREMENDOUSLY grateful for the helping hand when I felt so isolated. I definitely would not still be writing here without her.

since then, I've had an amazing time here. writing with so many different people, muses, and groups--it's all so good. my best experiences happen when I'm writing (or even plotting) with someone, and everything just works, flows, and fits together and I can just feel that shared excitement. that feeling that we're building a great story together. that's magical. that's why I'm still around, trying new muses, diving headlong into amazing plots/dynamics, letting my imagination run wild, and--as always--writing a lot. much love to EVERYONE who has helped keep that fire burning over the years, but especially ash and aya for giving that flame a chance in the first place. tysm. ❤️

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : it's been said, but--on a personal level--I wish private communication would happen more, specifically when it comes to interest levels. my time is becoming more and more limited here (sad as that is) and I have always written at a slower, longer pace. so, given how fast this place moves, I would appreciate knowing if a thread has grown stale, or if something's off.

I'm flexible. I'd like to think that I'm pretty laid-back. I want you to have fun, and you need to drop or backburner our thread because life, interest, etc. that's okay. I promise. I also don't mind reminders about cold threads or overdue replies on my end. if that's the case, please let me know right away, and I'll pick it back up or let you know my thoughts. we can try new things, or not. just let me know what you'd like to do, and we can adjust from there. that being said, lack of time or muse =/= lack of interest. I get that. you never need to rush a reply with me, and I will always (for better or worse) assume interest is still there unless told otherwise by you. I'm no herlock sholmes. (I wish I was...)

so, as a courtesy, I'd ask to please talk to me if something's wrong. if you feel the need to drop our thread or aren't interested in an interaction and/or want to start fresh. I won't be upset (quote me on that.) I just want to make sure that the writing vibes are still good, and I want to spend my time here writing things that you (and others) are still into. and in the end, it's not really a big deal--this place is great and I adore my past/present/future thread partners--but it's something that I would appreciate!

(also since I haven't made it clear before: no AI with me, please. let's meet at the same level.)

MUSE PREFERENCES: strong women and brash, sunshiney dudes. (I'll really try anyone, but I certainly have types 😊)

PLOTS OR MEMES : whatever's easier for you to get in the door with--c'mon in!! I don't find myself with the time to reblog many memes lately, but my inbox/IMs are always open for spot interactions, and I'll do a lil' starter call here and there!!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : I don't mind receiving either, but I always tend to lose myself in the sauce and write a lot oops. you never have to match my length. as long as we're writing together, that's chill enough for me!

BEST TIME TO WRITE : my healthcare job is killing me. I'll try to sneak on for some stuff here and there, but I'm most active during evening/nighttime CST US. confirmed night time scrawler. 🦉

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : some common threads linking all of my muses to me is the fact that we always want to be active, we have (too) high expectations of ourselves, we grew up and are still growing up, and we spend too much time working (and loathe it LMAO)

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #236 - Brain Curd NaNo #5

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose. Now that it's Novel-vember, as some have taken to calling it, I'm doubling down on Seeing Other People (working title). Will I finish the first draft before December? Probably not. Too sleepy. But I'll certainly try harder than any year before. Oh yeah - and unlike typical Brain Curds, I'm keeping some of what I write each day to myself.

Any resemblance to real events is entirely legally coincidental. Names and locations have been changed to protect the identities of the fictional.

I was in a real funk, my second year of university. I finally had a bedroom of my own again for the first time in nearly a decade, spent days plotting the layout, and executed the plans perfectly to make a place that really felt like home… only to invite the wrong person over and ruin it. Home was where I got hurt. Again.

I was half-convinced I was asexual at that point - a term I was familiar with through cultural osmosis; but I had only met a person with that label very recently and the waters were muddy. The truth was, I wasn’t asexual, I was sex-repulsed - which isn’t mutually exclusive, but the venn diagram isn’t a circle either.

There’s a certain ennui to being sex-repulsed and touch-starved at the same time. I found myself wallowing in cynicism that the only people who might ever want me were people I didn’t want. And I wanted - I spent all my time wanting - but I didn’t want any person. The idea of being with someone, the very idea, made me fearful that I’d somehow end up getting hurt again as I always did time and time again. Because when your only concern is not to hurt others, it’s all too easy not to notice someone else hurting you.

So, naturally, I was on the edge of deleting Tinder and giving up. But for whatever reason, I opened it up to take another peak. And there she was.

Anorma is an abnormal name, I thought to myself, having come up with the least original thought of the day. She was cute - pretty eyes, curly hair - so I said, “fuck it,” and swiped right.

We matched immediately and texted back and forth for a bit before she asked me out on a date. I said yes, and she suggested IKEA, which was right by her house.

“I love IKEA!” I replied. “Where should I pick you up?”

I pulled up to a Rite Aid in Costa Mesa. My nerves were shot. I’d driven twenty minutes away from home (which felt like a long drive at the time) to meet someone new who (quite reasonably) didn’t immediately trust me with her home address. The clouds rolled in and it began to rain. I sat in my car, the engine shut off, wondering if she’d even show up. If I’d even recognize her from a different angle if she did. That fear was quashed when I saw a curly-haired broad-chested woman dressed all in purple with red sunglasses jogging up. This was unmistakably Anorma. I unlocked the passenger door and started the engine.

“Hi!” She said, getting into the car.

“Hello,” I replied. “You’re all wet.”

“It’s raining!”

“I noticed. Luckily I keep an umbrella in the car, but I didn’t think to bring towels.”

“That’s okay,” she said, smiling, as she buckled her seatbelt and stared forward. She was somehow entirely unperturbed by the droplets of water clinging to her hair and the dripping rainwater on her forehead.

“Well then…” I shifted into reverse. “Let’s go get meatballs.”

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.

[nursewashing-a]

🪵🪵🪵

send 🪵 and i'll say a positive thing about my own blog | (positivity meme, accepting)

wuah..... 🥺 i reblogged this to say nice things about others and here you go sending me these!!!! three of them, even!!! okay!!! unexpected....... i will do my best!

i really enjoy writing anya! i've had a lot of love for her lately. her story is really painful but cathartic in a way i've never experienced. i think she's super fun to explore and i really love coming up with scenarios where she gets a chance to live!!! she deserves to live, even if she doesn't think she does...

my blog has been a great way to meet with some new people! i haven't even been around on this blog for a whole month and i've had more positive reception and interaction from new people in a short timespan than i have on any roleplay blog in years. it's really sweet and i'm also very excited to have exchanged discords with a few people and even called some of them! the social aspect of rp means a lot to me as someone who struggles to connect with new people, so people interacting with me has been a real godsend. and this is a sideblog, of all things! it's really sweet and heartening! :') lots of love to the little mouthwashing rp community

one final positive thing, since you sent three stumps to me... i like my headcanons i've made! i haven't fleshed her out as much as i'd ideally like to, but this is a new blog. i'm very excited for the future!! i can't wait for more opportunities to flesh out her character based on whatever we might get in future QnA's or just general interactions with others.

[skunkes]

wrt last reblog I also saw something recently that resonated with me, adjacent to it.

OP of the video im talking about explained that making friends is hard as an adult, but what if you finally make a friend and after a few hangouts you realize you dont actually like them? She goes on to say that she doesn't want to be friends with people she only Kind Of likes, because she had to do that all through her teenage years (likely at school).

But meeting people you instantly click with and have foundations for a real friendship is rare, so what are you supposed to do? Friend-break-up with someone? That's just rude. But having to maintain friendship with someone you only sort of like is also exhausting...

I made a new, quickly very close friend recently and was talking about dis to them, I talked about how I struggle making friends but after seeing some people's online circles I'm okay with that. Because I don't know how people juggle having so many acquaintances/Not Actual Friends. I could never do that. I want my time to go to myself and others I love and not having to either find excuses for plans I don't actually want to partake in or feel like I have to hang out with acquaintances for "maintenance" or to "reset the required hangout timer."

Hoping that doesnt sound Evil...having to do that with acquaintances is just one of those Life things, its normal but I'd prefer not have to do it more than I have to...ykwim

And how do you tell someone "um well its not that i dont like you but I cant imagine our friendship ever deepening to a point where im super comfortable with you and actively want to spend lots of time with you sooo bye!"

Not every friendship needs to be like that btw, acquaintances are important but one would rather just have more time to spend with the people they DO connect with better.

Also acquaintance doesn't automatically mean bad! I have acquaintances that I enjoy talking to and hanging out with even though we wont ever be Besties, I guess this post was more focused on acquaintances where the feeling is more like. They like you way way way more than you like them...

Idk. Last post reminded me of that. Its hard to make friends and I also dont seek it out because Id rather not have to also forever juggle a sea of pushy acquaintances while searching for the deep connections (which I'm so lucky to have found more often, by chance. Guess I just have to keep waiting around to get lucky.)

Meeting people you can actually connect with DOES take so much energy and time. And its hard to just stop contacting the people you dont click with along the way sometimes. So much energy to maintain the same level of effort and emotional investment across multiple different relationships when I'd rather just be deepening bonds with the people I do have/finding more of those Exact Same Bonds. Idk!

Weird type of lonely. I dont want to be friends with people I only sort of like...