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your-sweet-cookies · 2 years ago

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How to date Niragi guide for dummies - 15 easy steps to tame your local neighborhood sexy sniper masochist! (meme post)

(A/N: Please note that this post is meant only for satire and ironic parody comedic purposes, so take it as is. No hate intended towards anyone. <3)

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Are you perhaps one of those very sad, depressed and unlucky Niragi stans who, for some odd reason, can't seem to make this man bathe an eye at you or even spit in your direction, no matter how hard you try? If yes, then you've come to the right place that can help solve all your life's problems!

Hello and welcome to the one and only "How to Date Niragi" guide for idiots dummies, your number #1 starter pack essential for those who want to catch their own Niragi, but are still unsure about how to do it! Our researchers say that if you follow this guide, your chances at getting laid and secure a (somewhat) healthy relationship with the sexy beast of the Borderlands, the one and only Niragi Suguru, will increase by 75%, since the method has proven very effective with a 100% success rate in 3 out of 4 cases!

So now that we've got that out of the way, before we get to the "bread and butter" of our 'scientific' paper, let's start with what you'll need to have in your resources pack, in order for you to make sure that your success rate will grow to 100%:

unresolved childhood traumas (preferably a very traumatic experience with bullying) - Nothing says 'true love' better than two people who'd been through the same amount of shit and can understand each other better than anyone, so the more you'll have in common with Niragi, the higher your chances at making him yours! since you'll know what the f*ck not to ever bring up in your conversations and have the best knowledge for showing him the moral support he so desperately needs, but refuses to admit he wants! So yeah, the more unresolved traumas you have, the better, especially if they revolve around bullying and parental neglect! Also, if these traumas left you slightly unhinged, props to you!👍

a very morbid and unhealthy curiosity - Being curious to scoop about everything and anything about your obsession crush will come in handy when pursuing Niragi, because the more things you'll know or want to know about him, the more Niragi will know how important his person is in your life, which will flatter his narcissistic and possessive ego.

lack of self-awareness and a low as f*ck self-esteem- Niragi looooves his girls all vulnerable and obedient, so the more you are willing to accept and take from him in your relationship, the better! He's a very controlling man, so you also should be prepared to give up on your independence and prsonal life! And don't forget that romancing Niragi also implies pledging complete devotion and loyalty to Niragi and Niragi only to the point you'd give up your life for him!

God tier level flattery skills - As mentioned before, Niragi is a very egocentric and narcissistic man, so if you want to get his attention, you better start working on those complimenting skills, sistah! If you already are a writer or poet, then you are on the right path! Shower this man in compliments, treat him as a God, impress him with the way you word yourself! It also helps if you have your way with words when it comes to manipulating persuading your Niragi into loving you.

a good intelligence - Niragi is a very smart man, just as much as he's handsome, so it's gonna come in handy if you are a clever little cookie too! Show him that he can find a good ally in you, someone he can trust and lean on as a partner too, not only to use you as his personal sex toy. It might seem a bit contradictory to the point about having a lack of self-awareness, since smart people would normally stay away from a clearly toxic and abusive relationship like the one you are about to enter, but being a helpless case of lovestruck idiot doesn't mean you can't also be a book smart one!

obsessive and manic tendencies - While Niragi is a possessive and controlling man himself, he'll find it attractive if you are the very jealous and possessive type yourself. He likes his 'kittens clawed', if you know what I mean. Don't ever dare accuse him of jealousy/cheating, but if he'll see you going on killing sprees to take down the b*tches threatening to steal your man, it'll get him hard.

good cooking skills - A man's heart goes always through his stomach, so bonus points if you know how to cook.

good manipulation skills - We'll talk about these later, but trust me, the more deceiving you are, the better!

You done taking notes on what you have and what you're still to acquire in order to complete your perfect resources pack? Perfect! Let's move on now to what you came here for in the first place: the important things to remember and follow if you want the taming process to go as planned!

1. DON'T seem too impatient! - One of the biggest turn offs for a Niragi is when he's being approached by a d*ck starved groupie that makes it obvious she/he/they want(s) him to f*ck her/his/their brains out! So be subtle, approach your Niragi the same way a cat stalks its prey: observe from afar, make your way slowly towards your target and then... Strike! Try making it seem as if you approaching him was a mere coincidence, a simple curiosity of the moment due to the fact that his interesting and alluring presence and vibe of mystery caught your eye. You are the mastermind in this game of 'cat and mouse', so keep your gosh darn composure and lay your pieces carefully!

If you already have deep feelings for him, don't let it show, try to make it seem as if this is the first time you've ever met him and you've just felt like striking a conversation with a random stranger to ease your night out. You can also point out the fact that you've heard various rumors about him, to spike his curiosity, and then note that you don't really believe them and would like to find out for yourself if they're true. This will also give you the daring air of a challenge in Niragi's eyes since he's used to people fearing him, so a little innocent 'lamb' like yourself being unafraid of the 'big bad wolf' will sure seem amusing and worth exploring. And always, but always, have that gentle sweet air of innocence! Let him think he has the upper hand in this game and that he is the one manipulating you forward.

Tips of ways in which to start a conversation with your Niragi: if you are a newcomer to the Beach, ask him to be the one to introduce you to the place, bring up the fact that you've heard how important of a member of The Beach he is and that you admire his imposing and confident demeanor and that's why you want HIM specifically to be your guide; another method would be inviting him for a drink to start up a conversation, since incentives work most of the time; partner up with him for the night's game and show him how valuable you are in order to spike his interest in you so maybe he'll come seek you afterwards OR play the dumb little kitten route and rely on him to feed his ego that he's the best and strongest out there; lastly, if you approach him in the real world, try again to be subtle, go for a mundane subject, that might interest him even if just a little, ask him if a rumor about him is true to make him want to talk to you to clear it up and find out where it started from (this kind of leaves a mark in his memory to help him remember who the f*ck you are the next time you come seek him) or apply again the first strategy of inviting him out for something (but you might need to have done some previous small talk on random crap that kept him somewhat interested to make him want to continue conversing with you, in a more enjoyable way).

2. Talk about yourself as much as you ask him to share about himself - Since now you secured Niragi's attention enough so that he's willing to exchange a word or two with you, it's time to slowly show interest in him and that he's captivating enough to you to actually want to know him, but don't make it look as if you're literally interrogating him, share stuff about yourself too in relation to the conversation topic. This will help form a feeling of mutual trust between you two and won't make him question your true motives for coming to him. As always keep it subtle, make him want to continue talking to you, show a little bit of vulnerability (but not too much either), and if you feel bold/confident enough, you can also throw in a lil bit of flirting too (but again, DON'T throw yourself at him).

3. Build up that sexual tension baby! - Niragi LOVES a good sexual tension moment! Plus, we want him to be future boyfriend material, so it's important that you don't let him have his way with you from the very first 'date'. Make some flirty comments here and there after a while, because we all know Niragi is the type who's gonna show interest in 'that' too. Make him start to want you, crave you, but show him that you won't be that easy of a prey. One of the reasons he has a r*pe kink after all is because he loves when his victim prey tries to oppose him, showing resistance to some capacity, making the hunt more interesting and more worth engaging. So apply a similar principle here too (we don't want you to get in the position of an assault tho! so take it slow and easy), spike his interest by showing him that you might want to bed him, but at the same time play hard to get, be that 'forbidden fruit' he's going to crave getting a taste of, keep him in suspense and build up the sexual tension little by little with each and every interaction. Stir him up just enough so that he'll continue wanting to hunt you down, but not to the point in which he'll want to cut the chase short and get what he wants then and there!

4. DON'T EVER mention therapy - We've already established that Niragi is a prideful man, so he won't ever admit he needs to see a therapist, so take your mind off of even trying to attempt to 'fix' him. Repeat after me babes: PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL DIY PROJECTS TO FIX! You choose someone to puruse romantically because you love them the way they are and for who they are, not because you are a dumb b*tch who believes all these crappy webtoon tropes.

So throw to the bin that bs cliche trope of 'I CaN FiX hIm!". You knew what you were signing up for the moment you decided to pursue this chase. If you truly love and want this man for yourself and yourself only for the rest of your life, you have to accept the fact that you ain't gonna change him and chances he's going to willingly want to change on his own are extremly low to 0 (this ain't fu*king Mr. Darcy babe) and especially NOT for you (unless maybe, just maybe, he actually falls down bad for you, in which case the most you'll get will be him trying to be just a little less violent and a tad bit more romantic towards you, but don't expect much). Niragi will appreciate if he'll see that you accept his decisions and who he wants to be, so show that you are there for him and support him no matter what the heck might happen (you are after all his loyal devotee, remember?). So yeah, one thing you should never tell Niragi (besides the obvious "NO" and "STOP") is to go to therapy. And DON'T even f*cking try therapying him yourself if you value your life! Triggering his past traumas ain't never a good idea.

5. The 'Friendzone' strategy - Ah, this is a personal favorite of mine to be honest, cause it goes well hand in hand with 2 and 3 and will help you secure that good starting point from 1. Thing is that most often than not, a Niragi might grow tired and even bored of the swarm of people wanting to romance him. So give him something different, be the 'exception' from the rule, that 'special' one that doesn't want to f*ck him (as stated at 1, be subtle and don't seem d*ck starved), be that odd one out who spikes his interest by simply wanting to be... FRIENDS!

We all love the enemies to lovers trope, but in real life, the one that works best for romancing someone is the friends to lovers approach, and so will it work in our quest too. Love is built on things two people have in common, things they share with each other, the nice things the two partners build together and the quality time they spend together. So, by becoming his friend first, you assure 3 of these stuff: you build memories with him through the crap you two do together, you share stuff and hopefully spend quality time together. Add to that the things he has (or thinks he has) in common with you, and BAM, he'll slowly start falling for you.

6. Devote yourself to him heart, body and soul - After a while, if things go smoothly between you two and he starts to show signs of possession over you and sexual/romantic interest (tho let's be real, in 99% of cases he's only going to show sexual interest in someone cause 'who the f*ck is love? We don't know her in this household!'), you can go on and finally confess your feelings to Niragi and maybe even start upping up your flirting game by showing him that you want him physically too. Start showering him with your undying love and adoration, make him feel full of himself seeing how helpless you are for him, what a lost cause you are in terms of being blinded with love, how much you freaking adore him and that you'd do ANYTHING for him (yeah, in 1 case out of 4 he might ask you to kill someone for him... But we don't really talk about that...). After having played very hard to get in the beginning, now you can finally loosen up and switch gears, becoming a needy mess for him, so that you'll manipulate convince him into to think that he has absolute control over you. In some cases, if you played your cards right, your love confession might yield you the very satisfying reward of Niragi confessing to you too in return.

Show him that you are loyal and devoted to him and that'll make him to also show a similar level of loyalty and devotion to you, as your trustworthy lover and partner in crime.

7. Be the Yang to his Yin, that innocent little sweet lamb that the bad wolf will devour - As mentioned in previous points, it's important to use that deceiving sweet innocent persona that emanates purity and innocence, this will stir him up a bit inside to want to have you, to corrupt you. Niragi is a man who loves to own things, so the more he can own of you, the better! Plus, being all innocent and vulnerable might trigger that primal instinct in him of wanting to protect you, especially now that he owns you.

If you already are a genuinely sweet person and even better, still a virgin too, you don't have to do anything special here, just be yourself and enjoy the effects you have on Niragi whenever you give him one of those adorable sweet looks or say something (especially his name) in that cute voice of yours... Trust me, it's worth it playing sweet and innocent for this one! Sure, a slutty dirty approach my work too, but remember, our strategy has proven effective in 3/4 cases! And doing the "little lamb" approach while also adding in the next point on the list... Oh boy, you'll see what we mean! ;)

7.5 Rile him up with some sexy dirty talk or 'naughty' behavior - Going really well together with our previous point is this one: adding some spice to the 'cat and mouse' chase by doing little lewd things and saying sexy stuff that go in contrast with your innocent vibe. This will make Niragi want you even more and is fun to see him salivating for you and you alone. This is more like a bonus 'tip' for your own enjoyment, as it's pretty much the same idea of building up the sexual tension as stated at 3, but it's still worth taking into consideration to amp up the fun.

Oh, and here's a bonus bonus tip: ask him about his wet dreams about you and also tell him about yours. You'll like the results. 😉 (It's better to do this after you've gone past the first stages of your relationship for max results).

8. Show your love and affection to him by cooking stuff for him or by doing small sweet things for him - Good, by now let's say you two are in that almost perfect scenario in which you confessed, he owns you, the sexual tension is thick enough to be cut with a knife and he seems fixated on you. It's time to assert your role as his significant other and partner by showing him how much you love him through caring actions such as making him something good to eat, giving him a massage, crafting something for him, you know, stuff like that. So far, cooking seems to hold a special place in our case, since it moves the Niragi, care being something new to him as so far no one had ever shown him that kind of affection. Plus, eating together is an act of platonic intimacy that strengthens a couple's bond. Also, pet names! If you feel confident enough, start sprinkling in that additional bit of 'umph' by starting to call him various cutesy pet names, or pet names that assert ownerships and devotion such as "my beloved", "my dear", "dearest", "my love". Again, make him feel loved and adored by you and show him how helplessly in love you are with him!

9. Allow him to see your most vulnerable states and build the trust - This helps with triggering his primal desire to keep you safe, as well as forming a stronger bond of trust between you two. Due to his past traumas, a Niragi will be reluctant to trust others, so if you allow him to see you in your must vulnerable of states, that implies a very high level of trust you've invested him with (we recommend you do this only in a latter stage of your relationship, since it might be risky to invest him with too much trust from the very start). Tell him that you feel safe with him, allow him to see your tears (unless he'll get angry because of that), if you don't do well with alcohol, allow him to see you drunk and to take care of your hangover, etc.

10. Be into his kinks - Well, this is self explanatory: he won't want you that much if you don't really allow him to do much in terms of fun. Sure, playing into he CNC kink will entertain him, but only doing that forever will make him get bored. Show him your kinky side, tell him in little detail about the things you want to do to him so that he'll get riled up just by imagining what your fantasies imply. Just be over all fun, experimental and involved. Again, you signed up for this willingly knowing fully well what he's into, so once started, there's no going back. If you'll keep turning down all of his kinks, that surely won't land you a stable ship. Also, bonus points if you have a breeding kink too, cause he's definitely into that and it'll turn him on even more if you tell him you want his babies.

11. Be possessive, but not very possessive - Being possessive sometimes can seem sexy to Niragi, so it's not that bad of an idea to mark your territory once in a while (he might even find it hot and fun if you leave marks on him and express out loud to others that he's yours alone). Tho, be careful, don't go overboard because remember, control is HIS thing and we want to keep him thinking that he's the one pulling the strings in your relationship.

12. Be invested in your relationship - There's nothing more turn offish for a Niragi than to see how little to no involvement you show in your relationship with him. So once committed to him, then girl, you have to be committed! Don't ignore him too long, but also don't annoy him; come up with fun new things for you two to do together; keep showering him with love and reminding him of how much you love him, etc. And don't use him for sex only!

12.5. Niragi is NOT your personal walking-talking sex toy! - Yes, man is hot. Yes, we all want to f*ck him. Yes, the sexy times are the best part of a Niragi ship, but don't make this the only subject matter of your interactions (unless you are going for the horndog Niragi species, then that might work, but you'll have to be gosh darn creative to keep things always fresh and fun even when going for the same activity again and again). It's also somewhat degrading for Niragi to feel used as an object by you. Sure, he might want to use you as his toy, but he loathes when someone else does that to him. So make him feel important and loved as a human too, not only for his d*ck.

13. Die for him - This might be extreme, but if you are going for a tragic kind of story, sacrificing yourself for Niragi is the ultimate symbol of your love and devotion to him. If you did everything well so far and got Niragi to love you to some extent, such an extreme measure will secure for sure your position as his biggest, truest and only love, since he won't ever replace you and will probably end up living his life mourning you in his own weird ways or seeking to get revenge for your death from those responsible of it.

Well, there you have it! The complete guide for dating Niragi! We wish you all the best and good luck in your quest of taming a Niragi and pursuing your very own ship with him! 👍

(Disclaimers!) Please note that we do not take responsibility or can be held accountable in case any of these steps goes wrong and results in the injury of your own well being, since you voluntarily accepted to pursue a Niragi at your own risk, knowing very well about each and every implication.

Have fun and remember: First step to be able to do any of this is to TRY TO ACTUALLY TALK TO a Niragi! :D

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