#reason I don't really talk about social issues: bc while I know how I feel

[sumbril]

Step 1: Do I understand this issue well enough to have an informed opinion on it?

If Yes: Consider the wisdom of stating said opinion.

If No: Proceed to step 2.

Step 2: Am I invested in this issue enough to try to cultivate an informed understanding?

If Yes: Investigate sources for reliable information, consider the facts, reread the current state of the discussion in full, then return to step 1.

If No: Do not engage.

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

New Autistic Michael Westen Master Post

A) Special Interest

Michael's fixation on being a spy and getting his job back is def in special interest territory bc he values it A LOT. In the books, it's mentioned he blew stuff up just for fun as a kid to experiment and to get attention from his parents so spy shenanigans has always been an interest of his

B) Justice is something Michael feels very strongly about. He doesn't hesitate to help the little guy or families or anybody else who needs his help even tho he'll complain when it isnt convenient (which reminds me of Entrapta, a canon autistic character on a show, who gets annoyed when interrupted from her special interest inventing). Even when injured, he'll still help people. Michael wants to feel like he's a part of good in the world, helping right wrongs

C) Michael and relationships

He struggles maintaining deep relationships and doesn't always understand what people want from him. This is partly due to him struggling with processing his own emotions like for example his desire to be with Fi versus his desire to not see her harmed by being close to him.

He has a lot of miscommunications with his family over the years (not necessarily all his fault) and he doesn't know how to bridge the gap at first. Like how Maddie was mad at him for not reaching out on her bday but turns out he was in a hospital and it simply didn't occur to him to explain that

A great example of Michael not realizing how much he means to his friends is when he so readily believes they have abandoned him when Larry made it seem like they had to manipulate him.

D) Not understanding social norms and social queues or hierarchy

This is part of his problem up above but it deserves it's own section. A great example is when Sam asks for advice about marrying the love of his life and Michael says yes and then no and is just exasperated by what Sam wants from him

Michael simply doesn't give a shit about social hierarchies and will go straight through them to get shit done like when he talks back to the frickin head of the CIA in season 7

E) Most likely as a survival tactic growing up in an abusive household, Michael's ability to Mask and appear neurotypical while Undercover is a great example. He knows the human mind well and his friends are always shocked by how he's able to read strangers well but not his close friends and family. Michael is able to imitate people he's around well at least for the job

F) Repetitive behaviors & Sensory issues

Michael has at least two safe foods: yogurt and tuna tahini. We also know he likes spicy foods that have been mentioned throughout the show so he's likely a sensory seeking autistic.

He also really liked a deep pressure massage he got during a cover cause the bad guy had paid for the hour. Many autistics respond well to deep pressure even when they don't like light touch (Michael often seems touch averse outside of Fiona) which part of that is from being a spy but I think it's not liking unexpected touch (I myself like people to ask first then I like touch!)

There is another reason Michael may always wear sunglasses: autistics are more likely to have light sensitive eyes so the sun could be painful for him. He also has his fav particular glasses he wears which is part of his routine

G) Personality

Michael has a pretty stoic personality. He doesn't tend to have huge macro facial expressions when not undercover. It's the smaller smiles or tightening muscles around his eyes or a single raised eyebrow or throwing his head back that says how he's feeling. He also tends to not laugh loudly or out loud except for rare occasions. His humor is dry and sarcastic like many autistics

H) Demisexual

I do see Michael as existing on the asexual spectrum. He describes his attraction to Fi and also how he's never felt that way with anyone else in both the show and books. Demisexuals experience sexual attraction after forming a bond with people and I think that describes Michael well. He literally has hot women flirting with him all the time, especially villains, and he doesn't bat an eye or get tempted bc he's simply not into them.

And even tho he is attracted to Fi, he isn't always immediately as into sex as she always is like when she jumps his bones when he comes home from missions in season 5 look at his face as he tries to convince her to stop. Altho he gets into it eventually 😉

Many autistics are ace altho not every autistic is!

I) overwhelmed episodes

Michael tends to not process his emotions until something really big happens that pushes him over the edge like when he considers shooting himself after Victor is killed bc solving his burn notice seems impossible or when he finally has to process that Fi is gone

J) Smarts

Many autistics are gifted in a specific area and I do think Michael's tactical mind comes from his autism

Have a photo of Michael's smile after Sam compliments his brains :)

The End

Thanks for reading 😁

[necrotic-nephilim]

For the ask game

au where brudick happens but they keep it VERY hidden to the point only cass knows but she thinks everyone does cause to her it's so obvious, so one day on their monthly family dinner that no one misses she ask's them why they have different rooms when they always go to eachother during the night. What do you think would happen? Would they deny deny deny? would they ask her what she's talking about? how does everyone else react to this revelation? do the other heroes find out? do they have opinions about it?

for the ask game!

I LOVE THIS SHIT. truly love Cass noticing things she shouldn't and assuming they're common knowledge, it's my fave flavor. this is such a fun idea-

so Cass knows from like, day one. and obviously she never says anything bc she assumes this is normal. in a way, the weird vibes between Bruce and Dick *are* normalized to the Batfam, everyone sort of. tiptoes around their weirdness (even if they don't know it's romantic) so Cass learns to do the same. she doesn't mention it bc no one mentions Bruce and Dick's bond, it's only ever acknowledged with shared looks. it takes years before she has the courage to ask and i think it's fun if she asks for an utterly mundane reason. like, Alfred makes a teasing remark about washing everyone's bedsheets and what a task that is, and Cass just drops it into conversation that Dick's bed is rarely used because he's always in Bruce's, so that must make it easier to handle.

Dick was try to play it off as a joke. just the mention would make Bruce go silent, for once finally not having a contingency plan on how to handle something. he and Dick were never supposed to happen in the first place, it was so accidental he's never considered the possibility of someone finding out bc they're so careful, though in hindsight, of course he should've known Cass would've figured it out. Dick would awkwardly laugh, try to say something to the effect of "very funny, but we're not *that* close haha" just to break the tension. Cass doesn't give in, though. she's not the best at social cues and doesn't understand the desperate look Dick is giving her, trying to get her to drop it. she pushes on and corrects Dick, insisting she doesn't judge them for it. Bruce would finally snap back into reality and give a more serious denial, quickly changing the conversation before anyone else can press.

the issue is, the minute Cass says it out loud, it becomes *so* obvious. especially to Tim, who has the biggest "oh my GOD" lightbulb moment of his life. there is no unseeing it. it takes him a while to process how he feels about it, the same with everyone else. for a week, there's an obvious tension. no one will say anything, but everyone knows and is trying to sit with it to decide how they feel. it's not a simple situation to feel one way or another about. that's when the questions start. Tim asks Dick questions, Alfred asks Bruce questions. how old was Dick, how did it happen, all the things Dick and Bruce have never wanted to have to answer. bc none of the questions have clean answers. it was a slow and gradual relationship. sure, they can say the first time they slept together, but that doesn't *really* count as the start of things. the start goes back to when Dick was still a teenager, probably underage. even if nothing happened, they both knew. and the way they dance around the questions makes that obvious.

most of the Batfamily i think, would begrudgingly accept it. it's too late to convince Bruce and Dick out of it now, and at the end of the day, Bruce and Dick will always choose each other over anyone else. fighting it just increases the chances of getting ostracized and pushed away by the two of them. feelings vary. i think Alfred would be the least happy about it because he was there when Dick was just a 10 yr old. everyone else only has memory of Dick as an adult, but Alfred watched Dick grow up, raised by Bruce, so he just can't shake that image. Tim sees it as one of those things you just have to accept about Batman, and carefully considers his role as Robin and makes sure he focuses on making sure Dick is happy/safe as well as Bruce. if nothing else, Tim will put his feelings aside to be the Emotional Support Child. Barbara would distance herself from the Batfam for a while just to sit on it, because she also saw Dick as a kid and it sits wrong with her. long talks with Dick convince her to let it go, but she does keep a *much* closer eye on Bruce to be sure this doesn't become a pattern. i think she'd enlist Cass to make sure Bruce never shows romantic/sexual attraction toward other Robins. Steph and Jason are equally apathetic toward it, being the ones who are most negative toward Bruce. they just shrug and go "yeah sounds like some shit Bruce would do". Damian's a bit of a toss-up. i think it'd really throw him for a loop and he'd be far more critical of Dick in the beginning, but once he approves of Dick, he'd *really* latch onto him.

i do think the rest of the hero community would find out. not on purpose, but the leak happens. Babs vents her feelings about it to Dinah, Helena, and Zinda. Tim mutters about it to the Titans. and Jason will tell anyone who asks because he doesn't have a rat's ass to give about Bruce's precious reputation. (if anything, he'd purposefully try to ruin Bruce with that info) the hero community... varies. i think Oliver would be the *most* pissed. Oliver is very similar to Bruce, in that he's taken in his share of strays, but he was objectively a lot better at it than Bruce. it causes a minor public scandal when Oliver drinks too much at some gala and just. publically beats the shit out of Bruce Wayne, incoherently talking about something to do with him being a creep. i could see Oliver rallying support from people like Barry and Arthur who also have young sidekicks and would agree it being fucked up. i don't think Bruce would be entirely ejected from the hero community, but he would be quietly removed as a chair member of the Justice League and have most of his power as a team leader stripped. no matter how much damage control Dick does, insisting he was an adult when anything real happened and he consented, no one can look at Bruce the same. sort of a bittersweet ending, Bruce and Dick are together and no one can take that from them, but there's still realistic reaction and blowback to it, which i personally think is a lot of fun.

[ac3-76]

Kai Smith Headcannons

warnings: none😊

General

Idc what anyone says he can cook

like him and Nya were on their own for most of their childhood and bc Kai is the oldest he insisted on cooking

also because he grew up poor he gets really creative in the kitchen

his body temperature is constantly at 102° Fahrenheit

he does well in colder climates and doesn't struggle with feeling cold or freezing, but in hotter climates he gets heat exhaustion fast

He pretty much refuses on taking rest days

like he has to work out every single day or else he gets really insecure

He has the largest social media following out of all the ninjas(if you don't include Lloyd's graffiti account that no one knows he runs)

his body insecurity stems from growing up skinny and underweight

He LOVES Supernatural and sees a lot of himself in Dean Winchester

He has 3 tiktok accounts, one for fashion, one for thirst traps, and one where he just talks, rants, or does vlogs

he also has a YouTube channel that does really well, it's mostly vlogs, pranking the ninjas, doing challenges, trying things

his YouTube channel is kind of a mix of Jake Webbers channel, Kalogeras sisters, and the Sturniolo Triplets

He only has 1 Instagram and he mostly posts pictures of him and the other ninjas hanging out and having fun

He has a public and a private Twitter

the only thing he posts on his public account is i❤️my partner type stuff and dates for things

He definitely did a tweet about how exited he was for A Good Girls Guide To Murder TV show to be released

His private account has tweets for literally everything he does and thinks

"ate a fire cookie🔥🔥"

"just took a narly nap"

"you guys"(with absolutely no rhyme or reason, everyone was responding to that one really confused)

"just watched Teen Wolf, Chris Argent is such a dilf"

The crazy thing is his private account has over 4 million followers, he accepts literally everyone that requests to follow it

He's extremely good at math, put any math problem in front of him and he can solve it in his head in 15 seconds

He's also very financially literate, he's got all of his money related things in order and is a millionaire by season 10 bc he got into investing and stocks

No one knows abt him being a millionaire tho bc he doesn't buy things that look expensive and he doesn't flex his money

He totally buys expensive things tho

it's mostly high end clothing

he has a huge shoe collection that costs at least $2,813

He's an absolute fiend for cosmic brownies

He's a huge car guy

His favorite car brand is Koenigsegg and he owns a black Jesko Attack

He also owns 2 motorcycles

Dating

He's hispanic and fluent in Spanish

If his S/O doesn't speak spanish he'll tell them things in Spanish and won't tell them what if means

He does this all the time

It's bc Spanish is his first language and it's easier for him to say things in his mother tounge

(Yk in Modern Family when Gloria says that no one knows how smart she is in spanish, yea Kai totally feels that)

(he's also a chronic Modern family watcher and he relates to Gloria and Hailey so hard)

If his s/o speaks Spanish he prefers talking to them in Spanish

(he also loves if they speak it bc its also Nya's first language which means they can talk to Nya better)

He absolutely adores physical touch and cuddling

Hugs from behind.

Neck kisses.

he loves his hair being played with

if his S/O wants their hair braided, he can do it

French, Dutch, typical 3 strand, box, godess, cornrows, triangle box, twist, micro braids, fulani, Havana

whatever you want and whatever ur hairtype, he can do it

He can also do any hairstyle on any hair type like it's the easiest thing ever

He def does a soft launch at first

once your relationship is public, he post you all. the. time.

he just loves showing off his lover

However, he makes sure that while ur relationship is known, it's private

he's not gonna post any fights or issues that you 2 have, he works those out in private

he let's you steal any of his clothes(as long as you give them back)

He's the right amount of jealous and possesive

if someone else if flirting with you he'll just walk up and put his arm around ur shoulders or waist

he pretty much never introduces himself when someone else if flirting with you, he let's you do that

He's very secure in his relationship, he wouldn't cheat on you and he knows you wouldn't cheat on him

BUT, as mentioned above he struggles a lot with body insecurity so you'll have to reasure him that you love his body

He's been cutting meat for people his whole life(first Nya then Lloyd) so if you don't wanna cut your meat he'll totally cut it for you

He's so they fell first, he fell harder coded

also unexpected love trope, but it's unexpected for you two, everyone else knew the second you guys met that you were gonna be together

Nya and Lloyd had a bet on how long it would take for you two to get together(Nya won)

[some-murmurings]

so I've known I was system (unclear if I'm workin with OSDD 1-b or HC-DID) for ~2 years now, and I feel like I've gotten just about everything out of exploring it I can for the foreseeable future.

One of the things I've really struggled with is that so many systems are deeply invested in Fandom and I, bluntly, am not.

Not a judgment, just not something that appeals to me much for whatever reason(s). I bring this up because, when I was first exploring our system, I found there was way too much instability to identify/create concrete coherent "alters" in the common sense. My response to this obstacle was to use SimplyPlural as a shell for short-form poetry (generally prosaic bc formatting is hell on mobile) and engage with my 'selves' as closer to extremely distinct "modes of being" rather than full people.

Again, not a judgment, systems are different for the exact same reasons any people are different. I made just as many (if not more) totally subjective judgments about what my "self" and "selves" really were. I do, however, think the differences between me and the predominant system culture on Tumblr are EXTREMELY interesting and imply a bunch of cool stuff about the nature of our identities (and identity in general (but that's for later)).

For one: much of your "system" is utterly constructed. It's built. It's the result of an honest-to-god artistic process of deepset self-reflection, a series of creative social choices to present yourself(s) to others in the best way you know how. This is HOW any of this is real, not some "gotcha" that proves we're all fake or w/e.

For traumagenic systems, there's an underlying pathology that informs these choices in (as far as the medical discourse is concerned) that the neurological mechanisms which primarily influence self-identification are heavily disrupted, leading patients to actively create lenses they can view themselves through (or so the story goes, issues w/ this narrative imo).

I think it's extremely notable that many "endogenic" systems 1) have trauma disorders that disrupt their sense of self (e.g. OCD w/ psychotic symptoms) or 2) otherwise have environmental stressors that create similar emotional conditions to the "actual DID" systems among us (📮)

So, yeah, Endogenic systems ARE choosing to be like that. OSDDID systems are too. The self is always a social construct. This isn't news.

I do, however, see a common tendency (especially among 'bodily a minor' systems) to engage super carelessly with this artistic process.

This should be fun, it should be expressive, play is extremely important to human health, and you should totally be as imaginative as possible. The weirder you are, the better.

But. Shit like "bodily a minor"? Horrible idea. Really catastrophically bad idea, y'all, there are SO MANY different ways to explore the internal mechanics of your system that do not actively jeopardize your safety in the way and to the degree that misrepresenting your physical age does.

I think the feelings that the "mental age vs body age" dichotomy reflects are totally valid and SHOULD be expressed, I just don't think we're doing it smartly.

I respect age regression 100% but, psychologically, age regression is completely different from age advancement. Completely. It's a one way road.

So far, my best bet for expressing the "older" parts of us is to talk about parenthood instead. Caretaking. Or, responsibility, ethics. Sometimes we identify with eternal/timeless concepts, like "nighttime" or "love." That way the realities of age (and thus existing safety measures) are preserved while still allowing you to communicate effectively with other people.

I have more thoughts & critiques that I'll post more about later, for those interested, but if you want to see what I meant by "shell poetry" or "modes of being" my SP is:

the-murmuring-system

[minorisato]

okay so what if we put the gorilla in tfa

transformers / multiple ships implied / headcanons / warnings: PTSD, abandonment / notes: these are all copy-pasted from discord messages i sent to a friend because i was COOKING okay. optimus primal in tfa. / consider commissioning me!

"instead of taking the realistic gorilla route (bc realistic gorillas are fugly) take more of an animatronic route, clearly a robot pretending to be a gorilla instead of a robot that IS a gorilla"

"optimus was stranded on an organic planet and took on the appearance of a gorilla (or gorilla-like creature at least) after studying for a long time and seeing that they were closer to the top of the food chain if not at the very top, and he did this to survive so that less creatures would attempt to attack him so he could have some dominance on that organic planet"

"a LONG, LONG while later he's able to get off somehow (possibly with the help of decepticon technology? for Spice:tm:?) and by the time he gets back to cybertron or earth or wherever he is just. very unfamiliar with being in a society, he remembers what it was like to be in a society but he's super out of practice and he struggles bad with social customs and such? he's also just like… kind of a different guy now. he has anger issues, very irritable, and he's a lot more cynical and more of a hardass than he was Before this happened, but he's also a lot less unsure of himself- he still has his moments because this IS tfa optimus but surviving on an organic planet helped him gain a lot of confidence in his survival skills and leadership capabilities"

"same situation where elita and sentinel roped him into going to an organic planet in the first place but they probably get seperated at some point, and elita and sentinel get attacked away from wherever optimus is, and they end up needing to leave on their only ship in order to save themselves, leaving optimus stranded. their relationship entirely deteriorates after this point because they both blame each other and feel like they should have done more to try and help optimus when they really couldn't"

"elita is significantly more apologetic when optimus comes back and genuinely tries her best to repair things with him, and optimus is trying very hard to forgive her but it's difficult, because even though he knows she definitely didn't want to leave him she still did and it's changed him permanently- they're trying to patch things up but things are badly strained"

"sentinel is . uh . a dick? he's very disgusted by what happened to optimus (similar to how he reacted to blackarachnia) and he's pushed most of the blame off of himself onto elita (which they now hate each other for) so he isn't nearly as sorry about what happened. optimus doesn't forgive him and will not forgive him until sentinel admits fault (which might not ever happen) but they have some charged shit going on ok"

"optimus very much develops ptsd and he spends most of his time hanging around ratchet because ratchet like… gets it? and doesn't treat optimus like a monster for having problems? elita basically took his place on team prime after the fact but optimus does join the rest of the team when he's back (he and elita basically swap situations) and he's closest with ratchet out of any of team prime"

"prowl and bulkhead are sympathetic and treat optimus with respect though they don't really Get what he went through. bumblebee does Not get it and isn't like awful about it but he very much thinks optimus is lashing out for no reason when he in fact has a mental disorder."

"megatron is there."

general relations

Elita ;; tense friends. op is trying to forgive her but it's difficult. they're both working on it.

Sentinel ;; rivals with benefits. look . loo k optimus has some shit to work out okay

Ratchet ;; good & close friends. op trusts ratchet more than anyone else on team prime.

Prowl ;; fine friends. they don't really talk like friends but they get along.

Bulkhead ;; same as prowl- op gets frustrated with him sometimes, and he's trying to work on getting less frustrated with him

Bumblebee ;; teammates. they don't like each other.

Magnus ;; he pretends to care about op's wellbeing when he… really doesn't ? mostly concerned with him bc op is now like 5x the strength of the average autobot and he's a huge asset.

Megatron ;; similar to magnus, he sees op as someone who would be a huge asset to the decepticons and he wants to convert op sooooo bad.

[arlerts-angel]

hello mack! i hope i made it lmao im not good w physical desc but but js know that in this edit https://www.tumblr.com/aryomengrande/749530713692536832/keisukes-camera-roll-%E0%B4%A6-%E0%B4%A6-%E3%83%9E%E1%90%9F-cr-saecidal, thats me on the top, the photo in the middle and the one in the lower right, thats also me at the eras tour singapore 🤣

personality: very introverted. my mbti is intj-t. i don't entertain ppl if not necessary and usually keep to myself. i'm happy doing stuff alone. however, i'm actually a menace once i get comfortable lol. whatever stereotype you heard about being an eldest child, i fall in it—unhinged, hyperindependent, lots of trust issues, grew up quickly bc they had to raise their siblings, has a very difficult time asking for help, and etc. i have a bachelor's degree in biology and i was always the leader in our lab groupings (bc i'm reliable and i have like a million back-up plans bc i overthink a lot lmaooo) and was even the main author of our thesis and while i could've easily asked for help and my groupmates would've complied, i mostly refused bc i feel like it's like a testament to my shortcoming as a person/leader 😭 but will gladly accept help if it's offered 🥹🙏🏻. im not an overachiever, i js do what i can, i was always one of the tops in my class (top 8, 9, or 10). always nominated the class secretary bc my classmates think my handwriting is neat. i played lady capulet for theatre. im a three-time blood donor (cause i have the universal blood type hehe). my love language is acts of service. and you can ask all my buddies what their favorite trait of mine is, and their answer would be my loyalty. if you need me, i'll drop everything in a heartbeat if possible. i joined remedial classes (it was exclusive only to students struggling academically but still lol) bc my best friend who joined didnt know anyone there. my friends also go to me of they need real talk. rose-tinted glasses don't work on me—i will tell you as it is.

dislikes: physical or outdoorsy activities. i cycle 10 km a day and that's it for the day. once im lied/betrayed to, it's prob over. i loathe social gatherings. the first thing that comes to my mind when i see a cockroach is nuke the entire place.

interests: include mainstream pop music, but i really just listen to whatever spotify recommends. i love love horror movies. anything the horror genre has to offer. i love books, i love reading. ofc, drawing! both traditional and digital. i also love taking care of my son (my cat) lol i love sweets and my favorite dish is grilled tuna belly 🙏🏻

hope this is enough !! 😩💗

fandom: tokyo revengers

𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑨 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑪𝑯!

RARA !!! i've matched you with baji for a couple of reasons! he would so appreciate your loyalty, and the two of you would bond over acting/theatre because baji is a good actor! i think baji would try to change your mind about physical activity (within reason) and show you how much fun you can have! he will absolutely try to be cute and show off to you, he loves a good adrenaline rush.

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

Wondering if the reason people make the thieves out as uncaring after 11/20 is because the game itself moves on too quickly from it? Not saying I haven't kind of fallen into that take myself, though not like harshly, just felt they didn't act like they cared *enough* as in it should have been shown more. Because of the way the game's social sim works, you don't get the thieves checking in on/visiting Akira whilst he recovered like you might see in a fic and it can just go straight back into the confidant ranks of helping people with their problems, with no special dialogue or anything to ask how he's doing beforehand; so I feel like that contributes to the takes a lot, especially when one hasn't replayed in a while (sorry your post gave me thoughts on how people get to that take in the fandom, like I think the plan sucked for other reasons such as "Surely someone would notice the lack of a body?" but that's a bit besides the point)

Yeah I think you're absolutely right about that. The structure of the game doesn't let the Thieves care about Akira afterwards. There's also a bit of dialogue during the plan explanation when Akira says "I'm just glad I didn't die" and no one responds to it, which is...kind of baffling. But that doesn't mean the Thieves don't care about him, it means the writers at Atlus made a weird choice. And we know that because we see in that same scene that all of them were very worried for their leader's safety, and like I mentioned before, Makoto herself says she's glad he made it out safe.

The structure of the game kind of fucks over Akira and makes the Thieves look like worse friends in general, too. He helps them throughout the confidants, and then they "stop hanging out" after that, once they all say they want to start helping him out like he helped them. So we don't ever get to see their friendships become reciprocal. But like, that doesn't mean they actually stopped hanging out in-universe. It's a limitation of the play style.

That all said, I do think there is a valid interpretation you can come to which is that the Thieves don't know Akira was traumatized, or the extent of the danger, because he never talks about it. He's overly selfless and doesn't ever talk about his issues, so I could totally see that happening, and it's my personal interpretation. But that doesn't mean the Thieves are terrible friends for failing to read between the lines like that. It's on Akira for refusing to communicate.

And you can even say that they should have been more concerned for him afterwards, and that they put him on too high of a pedestal and think of him as utterly infallible, especially after he escapes with his life. They're kids, and Akira did just survive the impossible.

Or maybe they try not to bring it up on purpose because they don't want hurt him by talking about it, but letting it fester just hurts Akira more and makes him feel like they don't care.

Point is, there's lots of ways to take this strangeness in the game and make it into interesting fic content to explore. There's absolutely a discrepancy going on and exploring that is super valid and interesting. But turning it into "the Thieves are ambivalent and selfish and completely blind to their leader's suffering" takes that way too far. And like...why do people want to do that? Well, at least in the cases I've seen, the answer is twofold.

First of all, there's a section of the fan base that really hates Makoto. This is mostly common among Akechi fans from what I've seen. I think it's a combination of misogyny and the fact that Makoto can be obnoxious sometimes with her defense of the police, which is especially egregious in this situation. Like, the police beat up her best friend, and she still wants to join them. That can read as callous...if you don't understand her as a character, but I digress. (Someday I should write a Makoto defense post bc yeah. People are very stupid about her.) Point is these people like making up reasons to dislike her even more, which is where I think the whole "the plan was her idea and just an ego trip" thing comes from.

And the other reason is that there are a lot of shuake shippers who really, really want Akechi to be Akira's only "true" friend who "really" understands him. Which like...is true to a certain extent, they do have a special bond and Akechi is the only confidant that doesn't ask Akira to fix something for him, etc etc. But them having a special bond DOES NOT EQUAL all of Akira's other friends being terrible friends who suck and DON'T understand him. There's room for nuance here! You can like the toxic ship between rivals without making it less toxic because actually he's the only one who REALLY respects and loves Akira.

Like, he shot him in the head, guys. Let's not delude ourselves here.

But yeah. I'm pretty sure these two sections of the fanbase are specifically Akechi stans, and so they twist actual parts of the game to make Akechi look better and the Thieves worse. They almost like, take Akechi's perspective to a certain extent? Akechi doesn't like Makoto, and Akechi thinks the Thieves are bad friends (maybe, presumably, we don't really know, but he definitely doesn't really like them all that much and he definitely thinks they idolize Joker too much), and these Akechi stans agree with him. Which is baffling to me. Maybe he has half a point, sure, but Akechi is also REALLY stupid and frequently wrong.

And like, to be clear in case anyone who doesn't know me sees this, I say all this as an Akechi stan (look at my username) and shuake shipper.

In conclusion, I do think there is something to be said about how the confidants are written to be unequal, the Thieves don't check in on Akira enough, and the idolization they very much do have for their leader! These are real things that could make for really interesting conflict in fic. But it can happen without villainizing the Thieves or saying they just straight up don't care about their leader. Which is an obvious lie.

I think most people do agree with me nowadays, I've seen a pattern of recent fic and fandom people talking about how this villainization is stupid and going out of their way to make it clear the Thieves do care, so that's good. It was mostly a thing in early fandom that disliked how Akira was treated by canon (valid), wanted to give him conflict in fic (very valid, I love Akira angst), and wanted to make Akechi the "better friend" (???) who understands Akira better than the others (technically true, but it's complicated).

(As for the body thing, Sae said she made sure no one would check the morgue, so you're not supposed to think about it I guess. Makes me wonder about the people who would have taken his body to the morgue, though. Like, did they not report the missing body to anyone? Idk, maybe Sae paid them off too, lol.)

[callmearcturus]

If PT!Benji met Canon!Benji, do you think that they'd recognize one another? What do you think they'd say to one another if they sat down and talked for a few hours?

Someone mentioned this in the comments of the latest chapter and now I am thinking about it. Not in the "what would they do" sense bc I don't know, I think they'd have tea and Dr. Benji would take a look at Agent Benji's injuries and try to help.

But as any longtime followers know, I really am fascinated by AUs and the tightrope walk of having aspects of a character that are constants, but also exploring how changes in the setting/circumstances create diversions in characterization.

To me, the primary difference between Agent Benji and Dr. Benji is a matter of dominion. Agent Benji is the supporting character in an action franchise, and what I love about him is his growth into competency. There is a reason Ethan reaches out to Benji and not Luther for Rogue Nation, and to me it's clear that while Luther is the best actual computer technician, Benji is a jack of all trades. Excellent marksman, has the initiative to throw himself into the fray without orders, is capable at tech-- he is not an unhinged tip of the spear like Ethan, but he is very inured to the lifestyle of being a spy and saving the world and all.

While Agent Benji is comfortable with all that, the travel and the missions and all, Dr. Benji's dominion is much smaller, but his confidence within it is much larger than Agent Benji's. Very early on in the timeline of the AU, Benji is handed a pretty significant sense of responsibility and control over a lot of really dangerous people. He's able to boss around all these agents and spies and shit, and when they are in his office, he's the boss.

I feel like all iterations of Benji have this capacity to run the show and issue commands, but for Dr. Benji it's very much heightened. By the time of Act Two, he is one of the only fixed elements of the IMF infrastructure, he has social capital with the agents, and he kind of knows it. He understands his position of authority and what it means. That sense of dominion and responsibility defines him. Which is part of why during the six months of RN, he's so lost, because he's separated from that dominion.

In short, Dr. Benji has a more collected, calmer sense of confidence than Agent Benji, but only in a specific arenas (taking care of people, getting laid, dealing with Ethan Hunt). Agent Benji, on the other hand, has grown into a world-weary person with a lot of broad confidence in his abilities and that he'll Get It Done, but it's not concentrated in the same way.

[golbrocklovely]

I think a lot of the younger fandom, the ones who often forget that Sam and Colby are both almost thirty, living their lives, while having a passion for youtube/paranormal, are indeed that. Adults.

They can take criticism and adjust if they want to, yet in my eyes I have no issues with them keeping life private, doing what they need to do and posting when they want to. I'm sure they are working insanely hard behind the scenes, the only problem really is that fans not all, but some believe they are entitled to have them engaging or posting when they want them to.

If they want that, then look for other channels, the Sidemen post every one to two days on one of their many channels plus on sideplus. A lot of british commentators post twice or three times a week.

Depending on the content and the context of what they are doing, taking time is better than getting a half assed not fully finished product.

As a fan who is older than most (at least I think so) it's shameful how others act.

/gets off soap box.

i agree with you. i think too many fans expect snc to just tell us everything that's happening with them at all times, bc they've done that for so many years. and bc fans are expecting that openness, when they don't get it… they feel like snc are hiding from us. when really they are just setting a boundary and all of those fans freaking out are just upset they don't have the inside scoop anymore.

bc look, if all of this was just about content and the lack of it recently, then i would be on board for the frustration. bc it is a bit sad to see less and less of them. but, if they don't want to share with us what they do in their free time, i'm not gonna harp on them for it. the one vid a month has been the usual for some time, they post on react weekly, and just bc they don't interact with us all the time like they once did doesn't mean they've changed.

like, the fandom 12 million ppl in it, even if snc wanted to talk to everyone in the fandom, they wouldn't be able to. and sorry, but it's not the end of the world if they don't want to talk to fans on twitter or any site for that matter. you aren't warranted unfeathered access to them just bc you buy merch or have supported them for years. it's not snc's job to interact with us. it's an added bonus, for our benefit (and theirs too). but it's only really mutual for them when WE AREN'T DICKHEADS to them.

personally, if snc only tweet out links to vids and merch drops from this point forward, i wouldn't lose sleep over it. who cares. my god lol

but the fact of the matter is all of this drama started with the girls. once they got in the picture, everyone started finding reasons to be hateful. and maybe now they aren't the sole reason, but they were the beginning. and snc have been flat out telling us that going on social media and seeing everyone's comments, mostly on twitter, is hard for their mental healths. and if the ppl on there can't accept that or want to argue about it, babes... you ain't got no one to blame but yourselves. bc snc have ALWAYS been forgiving, always been ppl pleasers. they wouldn't just randomly ice out part of the fandom for no reason.

but idk why i bother. if you don't agree with that side of the fandom, you're just an snc dick rider or too far up their asses to be "real" about them lol but look, if that means i know i can go to sleep at night knowing i haven't been ragging on their gfs for months on end or saying they've changed bc they set a boundary, then idc. call me snc's #1 dick rider.

[patchesproblem]

do you have any spare hcs abt karl or joyce 😭 im starved

YES I DO ACTUALLY!!! I think about those two sm like you don't even understand. I really need to talk about them more, tbh.

I have A Lot to say, so sorry in advance for my nonsensical ramblings.

Actual answer under the cut

OKAY SO!! Starting with our favorite pathetic bean sprout.

I'll separate the au hc's and actual main universe hcs just to keep everything semi understandable. It'll have HC's for relationships with Karl, Planck, Einslas, etc. Also including Elysia and Joffrey because siblings can't be separated <3

AU headcanons:

Joyce is smarter than he gives himself credit for. I'm being serious when I say this. It doesn't express itself as obviously as the Einslas, but that's only because his strengths are in other areas. While the Einslas are extremely smart when it comes to STEM, I feel as if Joyce's strong suit is more in creativity. It's hard to exaplain, but think writing / reading and all that. He enjoys learning new information about things he likes (examples include astrology, writing, etc.) and he will often be able to remember details that others normally wouldn't.

He probably spent a lot of his childhood reading stories, and was probably ahead of his grades reading level. He didn't really have many friends because he has social issues, despite the fact a lot of people did actually like him. He just knew a lot of people, but he wasn't really able to form any close friendships until his insane scientist bestie came along. Though that was partially because he just was awkward and didn't know how to talk to others. Was worried he'd come off as weird or get bullied for his interests.

Tesla probably comes to him sometimes to ask for help with her own writing, actually. Although he doesn't write much himself, he's somehow one of the best people to ask for advice LMAO. They probably bonded over their shared passions, even if they are technically different. (Different in the sense of she's into writing, and he's into reading. They go together hand in hand. Idk I just feel like it's a cute little thing. Besties and siblings <33) He also probably proof reads her stuff occasionally when Einsteins too busy to, though he might've had a few objects thrown at him at some points. He also gives her advice / ideas.

Has a fear of people leaving him bc his parents just kinda. Disappeared leaving him with Karl and Emma as his care takers, and Elyisa eventually left soon after because she got married to Eden and all that. Then when Einstein left with Planck it just kinda destroyed him. He's not upset with them, he's actually really happy for them. Though it gets lonely and he's afraid that he'll get replaced (haha Joachim haha. Sorry.)

Probably really close with Joffrey tbh. Does anything in his power to make sure his little brother has a good childhood. He reads to him A Lot, and actively engages in his ideas. For example: if he has an idea to make something Joyce will help him make it. He also encourages him to pursue his own interests even if it's a one off thing. He'll often draw / write with him too. He's very proud of him

Karl is basically his dad at this point. He doesn't treat him as his nephew, but instead he treats him as if he was his own son in a sense. He's extremely proud of him and that someday he'll make a positive impact on the world. Joyce looks up to him heavily, and wants to follow in his foot steps once he gets older.

When Ein originally came he was terrified of her LMAO. She was an absolute menace as a child and lived up to Karl calling her a brat. He was relentlessly teased and messed with by this tiny goblin who could turn on the water works at any second if she felt like it. She still actually is the reason he's called Welt. Though it's because he's the clumsiest mf in the world, so dual meaning there.

She's actually one of his first actual friends, and partially responsible for his love of space. How they became friends is blurry just because it's more of a "she won't be leaving I need to learn to survive" but despite being eccentric, he eventually came to see her as his bestie / sister. Though he's still absolutely terrified of her. He still has zero clue what goes on in her head and that's terrifying to him.

He's absolutely terrified of Tesla too. Both his besties scare him half to death and he's convinced one of these days they're going to be the reason he gets killed, but that won't happen surely. They're at each others throats constantly, and would probably be those two people threatening to kill the other in a waffle house at two in the morning. They want to throw each other through a wall, but also trust each other with their lives. The only man Tesla remotely tolerates along with Karl. They have sibling energy and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Him and Elysia also probably used to be really close. She cares about him deeply, and would drop anything at a moments notice to help him if he needed it. Though she also does tease him often, as a big sister should. Eden acts as a parental figure towards him as well. They both met when he was young, and he grew up with her around a lot so he just started looking up to her tbh.

He originally goes to Lab 42 to become Einslas assistant while he went to university there, and would help them with stuff similar to how he helped out in canon. Though Tesla basically said "Fuck you, we're your superiors now so you'll refer to us as Dr. Tesla and Dr. Einstein now!" and that's how he started calling Einstein Ein lmao. Tes wasn't amused.

They also drag his ass to Alaska. He never wanted to go on work related trips with them after that.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's terrified. Her constant midlife crisis scares him.

Okay so for non AU headcannons:

Tes and Ein 100% got together in private and planned how to torment him. Just Trust Me on this. They were feeling a little bit silly and goofy and just coordinated together on how to torment him next.

Him and Tes' relationship is a little bit different in the main universe, for obvious reasons. Though they stay besties and have sibling energy. Neither of them trusted each other at first. Tes didn't trust Joyce because 1. He's a man 2. He's a man 3. He's a man and 4. She was scared he'd hurt Ein (was also just jealous and scared she'd pay less attention to her but yanno), and Joyce didn't trust Tesla because she's an angry redhead who would probably kill a man if given the chance. Didn't help that she threatened his life and threatened to castrate him within the first minute of meeting him, but yanno it be like that sometimes.

Over time Tes begrudgingly accepted that he wasn't going anywhere for awhile and that she should probably get used to it. While Eins was out they probably were forced to bond, and eventually Tesla realized that maybe he wasn't as bad as she originally thought and slowly began to trust him. Honestly they were best friends by the time he just decided to die like a pathetic person on them. He'd stay up to make sure she got home okay and alive, and he eventually just became her rambling buddy. AKA Einstein was asleep and she just went on long nonsensical ramblings to Joyce while he just went "uh huh.. interesting.. they did what now?"

Probably admitted some embarrassing things to him in all honesty. Though he'd never be able to tell anyone that considering she herself didn't even remember telling him half the stuff she did, and even if she did she'd actually kill him if he said anything about it. Not like he really wanted to, anyways. Was just happy she was willing to talk to him and didn't completely hate him tbh. Was also happy that he could be there for her considering his whole depression thing and knowing how horrible it was to not have someone there for you.

Though she also always cared and worried about him. Her and Ein had read his 'profile' beforehand, and Tesla immediately was scared and concerned when she realized he quite literally was diagnosed with severe depression. Though she'd never admit that and would prefer to pretend she just found him annoying and pathetic LMAO. At least before his death, after his death is a different story. (AKA she finally admitted years later she cared about him to Einstein and still missed having his dumbass around and constantly had to be held back from nuking Otto off the face of the earth.)

Another note I forgot to add that I'm adding after the fact: He was actually amazed by Tesla's knowledge. Like he knew she was smart, but the extent of it surprised him tbh. Especially after hearing how she didn't even have her degree.

With Ein it's pretty much the same, though she's legitimately just an absolute menace to everyone around her. She intentionally dialed it to ten just to make sure that he was terrified of her and never knew what she was going to do next. She did it just for the funsies tbh. Things were going slow in the lab and as much fun as it is to tease Tesla, it was funny to be able to just bully some random man who had no clue what was happening at any given second. Plus added bonus points for being able to still tease Tesla but making it 100% worse because someone else is around and Tes just gets embarrassed and loses it.

VN is basically two lesbians harass and bully some poor traumatized man for an entire month.

That aside, I feel like him and Joachim got along really well. I like to believe that he took him out sometimes to watch him while Einslas were working, and that Joachim constantly asked the Finn to go see the three. While the Einslas taught him to gaslight gatekeep and girlboss, Joyce taught him actual life lessons and tried to negate the 'damage' the Einslas had done. AKA try to make him stop being even worse than them.

He cared A Lot about Joachim, and probably saw him as his little brother honestly. I feel like they spent a lot of time together, even if it often resulted in Joyce being bullied constantly by three people instead of just two. The explosions also didn't amuse him because he's lame and a coward.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's Terrified.

After his death he intentionally hid from Tesla Einstein and Joachim. He didn't want them to find him, and try to bring him back. He felt like he'd disappointed them all and he felt guilty over what happened, and he was scared they hated him and despised him over what happened. He only shows up for Bronya because he knew that she'd be his successor, and even at that he refused to talk because he didn't want to disappoint her too. Didn't want her getting too attached to him, mainly because he's too scared to hurt yet another person.

Had to end it off depressingly, sorry </3 I'm sure you understand.

Was going to do non AU and AU versions for Karl too but like... He wasn't alive near long enough to even have hcs for the main universe. I've just hit him with the dad beam honestly.

Anyways AU Karl hcs <33

He's a dad. Literally just a dad. Will adopt any insane scientist within a 1000 mile radius.

He met Ein similarly to how he does in canon, and managed to convince her parents to let him and Planck allow her to continue her studies at a college level. Ever since then he's basically become her dad, and that's how she views him. Has accidentally called him dad before.

For a majority of the time he was one of Eins main mentors, though as time went on and he became more busy, Planck began to become her teacher.

He's awkward, and is kinda oblivious. Very Oblivious. He tends to not over think peoples words, and doesn't even think that there's a second meaning in most circumstances.

For the most part he's extremely dedicated to his work, and has issues with accidentally over working himself. All he wants to do is help others, even if it causes himself issues. He's often extremely busy and running about.

Though he also is extremely dedicated to his family and cares about them more than anything. If ANY of them needed anything, including Tesla, he'd drop whatever he was doing to make sure that his family is okay. He loves them all.

I'll have to add more later, but a lot of my thoughts have simply disappeared. I'll dm you on discord when I put more for Karl LMAO.

[misspickman]

curious about all of them but ESPECIALLY theory: existence is a mirror 👀

oh ive been wrestling with this one for a while and probably will continue to, its a tim's mental issues fic bc ive seen a lot of stuff about him being depressed/passively or actively suicidal but none of it really sat right with me so im trying to figure out how i think this would manifest with the character, but its tim and hes difficult. much to think about. so unfortunately this wip is a mess and im not working on it actively bc its so hard to get the vibes right and its frustrating. anyway heres a bit

“Don't you have anything better to do,” Leslie asks—complains—as she digs out a bullet out of his shoulder on a beautiful Friday night, “than run around clobbering people all night?” 

“Crime doesn't sleep.” 

“No, but you should. And you are not the only one for this job, are you?” she points out. Rightfully. Tim still feels unnecessarily defensive and just barely stops himself from trying to prove to her how needed he is out there, actually. “You're too young for this to be the only thing you do.”

That takes him aback. This is the sort of conversation that Leslie usually unleashes on Bruce. It feels… painfully unearned to be getting it in his place. 

He doesn't want to be a part of this discussion. He'll leave that to Bruce, Leslie and Alfred to ponder over, and he can go back to his work as soon as Leslie's done wrapping up his shoulder. The only reason he's here and not doing it in front of his bathroom mirror anyway is because Helena decided to play protective and basically dumped him in front of Leslie's door, and would not let him leave even if he tried. 

It's really not that serious. It's just a shoulder. 

“With all due respect, Leslie—” 

“Tim,” she cuts him off, taking none of it, “with all due respect, you are twenty one and sitting in my clinic with a bullet wound on a Friday night. And I know you're out there every night. Do you even socialize?” 

Tim bristles. It's embarrassing, and makes him feel just as young as she's treating him. “That's none of your business.” 

It doesn't feel good, being rude to Leslie, but it's an instinctive reaction. Tim is well sick and tired of people trying to tell him how to live his life. 

He thinks back on his last attempt to talk to a person his age who isn't involved in any of his vigilante life. He even likes Buzz, he wouldn't mind reconnecting with him, which is what he assumes the sudden invitation was about, but there's nothing like a miserable social interaction where you can't think of a single non-incriminating thing to say to drive home just how unadjusted you are to having a civilian life. 

It had been easier before, back when he had dad and Dana to keep happy with lies, and was basically forced to keep a normal life. Scratch that, it wasn't easier; he agonized over keeping secrets every waking second, he kept two messy lives and never seemed to make enough time for either of them, but it did mean he had some semblance of a normal life. He hadn't thought of it that way back then, but he can see it now. There's none of that left. 

Now, he has more than enough time to dedicate himself to being Red Robin instead of Tim Drake. He thinks he's been doing a pretty good job of it—except, nobody else seems to share his opinion. 

“You'll run yourself ragged until there's nothing left but the cowl,” she says, and Tim has an inkling that this is far from the first time she's said those words.

(title from this poem bc u know. vibes)

[outsidereveries]

hiii!!! ^^ can you talk more about your reading on brazil politics? I am brazilian and I did a (personal) reading like that, but the results were pretty different! for social issues, I got the message of "the president's going to do projects but they're gonna lack depth, they're going to help, but there's only so much people can do in 4 years" I got the justice and the chariot upright and 9 of pentacles, the devil, the world and 4 of cups all reversed. for economy, there's going to be manipulation and lies, but it's gonna get better for the average person.

since I live in brasil and I know and lived the history, I think my reading can be more precise, but I wanted to check and talk to you because I think you're really talented, skilled. everyone expects it to be a continuation of his previous mandate, those that like him are seeing improvements, those that don't like him are nitpicking everything, just like you said, the country is pretty divided. do you think that's what your reading showed? that social issues won't get much better because the country will get more divided than ever? I really liked your reading :]

hm.. where to start to discuss..

from what i understand, justice and the chariot is for the social questions (with your message in mind) while for the economics 9p, devil, world and 4c all reversed.

i asked different questions than yours, because you asked what he will show to your country in social perspective (questions, issues, etc) and economic actions (again, questions, issues, etc) while i asked about brazilians’ rights that can be interpreted in the social category however it’s like sub-sub question of all of these social issues brazil has as country, you probably asked as a whole and that might be the reason why you saw justice and the chariot while i saw the magician reversed, king of cups reversed and king of pentacles reversed. (i am not counting my bottom card of the deck here because the fool is probably your nation as a whole)

you also asked about how the economy topic will do while i didn’t, so there’s difference. i asked on the other hand how your people feel about your previous and current president which is.. yeah.

i think my reading showed that there’s definitely untapped potential about your rights as citizens of brazil as of that time. i said “no” as an answer because there’s manipulation, tricks, deceit even with the magician reversed. how your rights will get better if there’s games all over again behind the scenes? i am starting to think usa has almost all of the countries as voodoo dolls with mine (bulgaria) pierced with too many pins while specific people tries to get rid of them :/

how was his mandate as president like? was he good, where he lacked at that time, what were the obstacles at that time in this period between 2003 and 2010? if you searched at least a bit about it (i am not trying to be rude bc i didn’t do my homework and i asked right away) you can ask more about the topics he lacked at that time and will he get better in 2023-2027 period. if he lacked only in social and economy things, that’s great (compared to bulgaria…).

can his current mandate will be continuation? absolutely, i can see it even without the basic knowledge of it with my limited knowledge of the reading i did. i see there will be still issues (probably behind the scenes) that will still occur at least here and there.

i am relieved that at least i am accurate with the divided opinion of your current president because i see it’s not happening only in my fucking country, you know?

so, about my readings:

first of all, about your rights.

magician reversed: untapped potential. also lies, tricky games, manipulations, similar things.

i feel whatever attempts will be about it, all of them will be unsuccessful because when you feel it’s happening, suddenly something happens that it won’t happen. possibly again. is your country puppet in some way? does your citizens talk harshly about another country that the talks about them are everywhere? this is a question that i believe you might have the answer for it. search about it straight away without distraction. the answer might be .. shocking if it’s the same as mine’s.

king of cups reversed: something “too much” (possibly involving emotions), overwhelmed, anxious, without any care, unkindness, innocence, unexperience, depressed, cold (introvert?), repression, moody, unbalanced, controlling, manipulation..

again there’s the manipulation! another keyword i see for me is repression. whatever silva wants to do, he might cannot do it at all! i feel he’s too innocent about changing everything and if not, he’s like you, the citizens, someone who also want change perhaps? i don’t think he’s bad person but as a president he’s definitely not in control, i believe he’s repressed and someone else decides for him, probably by force.

king of pentacles reversed: lack of success, corruption, instability, bankruptcy, underqualified, broke, greedy, hasty decisions, unloyal, losing your grip on something..

the third card confirmes what i’ve said already. because of the manipulation around, silva might have no choice but to gave in. i feel that the instability in brazil will still be there in the congress and possibly in his residence and something will happen for you to be to the point to bankrupt in some way. do brazil has money issues more than usual recently? because it looks like there is.

the fool upright in the bottom shows brazilians’s hope to everyone else apart from your previous president. they want the new beginning for real and that’s what i see with the bottom card of the deck.

bonus thing that i would add is the both kings. who has water sign and who has earth sign in brazil’s government and presidency? there is something behind these kings that might be the key for the reason why there’s still issues in brazil.

i don’t think there’s point to look for deciphering the two questions i asked tbh, so i will pass to look into them for now.

do you look for alternative medias online? because if you don’t, search for a bit. because of them, they’re why my perspective might be totally different than the rest.

about the justice and the chariot for your reading about brazil’s social issues, i think overall they might get better at some aspects but probably for the most .. i don’t know, unnecessary things compared to others? i don’t know what was your bottom card of the deck, so without it, i have two theories:

1. your social problems will get better and everything will be okay. i can see it as an interpretation however the chariot can be interpreted in pessimistic way, so.. 🤷🏻‍♀️ brazilian government might’ve been honest with you for doing a mistake and they might’ve decided they’ll show everything just for your country to get better and better.

2. everything will come back to the congress and the president, so the consequences are coming to the government because someone in the sky want to challenge what the brazilians’ actual control is there in the congress.

whatever you felt better, it’s probably this. the bottom card of the deck if you remember it will help more how you transcript your reading/question/etc. in my opinion.

if i understood right, for the economy reading (nine of pentacles rx, devil rx, world rx, four of cups rx), i see dependance. this is the main keyword to me, because they’re aware of their situation (your government). the devil rx might mean independence but since nine of pentacles reversed started your reading, it’s the awareness of knowing the issue in the economic category. i honestly see these cards really pessimistic and the optimistism for brazilian economic is missing 😐 i feel your nation’s government lacks independence in this topic. the economy is also controlled in some way, i am certain about it. your people might spend money on egoistic things rather than making everything better.. this isn’t right. and brazil is in brics, right? then why they still have corruption? everything is just missing about your economy: the success, the independence, the work even.. everything! there are many, many missed opportunities, and i believe something is missing about the solution of brazil’s corruption.

if both shuffles were about the social issues, i am sorry. in this case, your second shuffle still applies to the social issues brazil has.

i hope my point of view was interesting to you, i would love to discuss more tbh so your ask was definitely refreshing!

out of topic, but i also love your readings! i read some of them from time to time lol

[cakesexuality]

Idk how much I wanna talk about it rn and I might end up discussing it a bit further when I make my next "estrogen is slapping" post but

I got the call on Monday from the hospital

Basically, they're putting my file on hold until my dietitian and I can figure out more of the foods that are making me sick

My dietitian doesn't wanna take anything out of my diet while my ED is acting up unless we have REALLY good reason to believe it's making me sick, like she's okay with me not eating walnuts bc it seems clear that my body doesn't like those anymore, but she wants me to keep eating wheat for now bc my body seems mostly fine with it so sticking with wheat is better than risking me going down a restriction spiral

They seemed to be implying that my issue with accessing healthcare is social skills, I guess?? And that DBT would help with it?? When I said that the problem is that I live in a society that doesn't value disabled people, the social worker said "I know that's how you feel" when it isn't how I feel, it is the behaviour that abled people have demonstrated and the words they have spoken time and time again

I've had medical professionals tell me to my face that they didn't plan on giving me adequate care just bc I'm mentally disabled

People who are autistic and/or schizophrenic (and this applies to fat people, too, but I'm not in that group) are more likely to die of COVID not bc of any biological factor but bc of access issues

There was a man who went to Humber River Hospital in 2018 and got turned away after presenting with severe leg pain just bc he has bipolar disorder and they thought it was part of his mental illness after one (1) test came back with nothing, so they let him spend 20 minutes crawling to the taxi pickup, and they had a nurse stand over him to shoo him out as if he was a stray cat who'd wandered in, only for another hospital to tell him not long afterwards that it was caused by an autoimmune disease and could kill him if left untreated

Outside of the medical world, I've had more than one teacher try to deny me the accommodations that I was legally entitled to as a disabled student

I go to pride events where the only accessible bathrooms are in the 19+ section or where the "accessibility section" serves no purpose other than giving you a worse view of the drag show, and I go to Drag Race viewing parties where the organizers choose to leave the subtitles off (apparently the gays cannot relate whatsoever to being discriminated against for something they can't change about themselves)

I think I'm just done with receiving mental health care from this hospital, I've never had a good experience with their psychiatry department, I don't know anyone who's had something positive to say about that psychiatry department, and I've told my local CMHA that if they ever legally had to send me to a hospital that I want them to send me basically anywhere BUT this particular hospital if they can help it

I found another ED program who can even offer virtual care so they've sent me their referral form and I'll have my GP do it when I see her in a few days, and I'll be talking to my gynecologist and social worker this week too and then my psychiatrist next week

[aspd-culture]

seeing some of these recent asks/posts, out of personal curiosity, do you have any thoughts or opinions on how important "lack of remorse" is to ASPD? i think it's an interesting aspect of the disorder, especially considering how... vague of a concept it kinda is? at least i see it as vague. but that very well could just be the ASPD talking lmao.

aspd-culture is

My personal thoughts on it is that remorse is a very fickle concept that is not taught well to children under the assumption that they should just know what it is and feel it by instinct despite neurological research proving that it is a learned concept (from working in child development, part of my job was helping children develop remorse, sense that remorse, and process it which is a whole process people don't really think about outside of that field).

I remember multiple times blatantly asking adults what remorse meant, and they always said either "feeling bad when you do something bad" (without any explanation that it is specifically not a fear of consequences or what it actually should feel like or how you know you did something bad).

Because of this failure by our society to explain remorse vs regret vs fear of consequences, I don't think it's fair to put a strong amount of weight on it as a symptom of ASPD, and there's a couple reasons for that.

Firstly, you may have seen the amount of people I have surprised with the definition of remorse/guilt. These people, if evaluated for ASPD prior to finding that out, would have self reported feeling remorse their whole lives up until they found out what it actually is. With the amount of professionals who put such weight on that criterion, imagine how many pwASPD to this day have no idea they have it just because of that?

Second, I think putting too much weight on that symptom in the diagnostic process unfairly increases the risk of pwoASPD who have various disorders that affect understanding of social norms (such as autism and cptsd) or that cause issues with introspection (such as bpd and adhd) getting misdiagnosed with ASPD.

Thirdly, I think that even though it definitely IS a symptom of ASPD, many professionals who put weight on it are doing so not out of genuine concern for the pwASPD's struggle with remorse, but rather as another way to turn ASPD into Absolutely Shitty Person Disorder and pathologize criminality. It is part of what allows them to diagnose on the stand based off just the knowledge that someone committed crimes (one criterion), feels no remorse (second criterion), and is either aggressive or disregards someone's safety or rights (third criterion which is officially all you need for a diagnosis). In other words, I think part of the reason some professionals think this is such an important part of ASPD is because they are really afraid of people without remorse and think that warrants giving them a stigmatized diagnosis without regard to if/how well they fit the rest of the criteria.

And it's a double-edged sword because just like so many people are probably getting diagnosed with ASPD who don't have it just bc they don't know what remorse is well enough to say if they have it, many others are likely going undiagnosed who meet 4-5 other criteria but don't meet this one and so much weight is put on it that their struggles with the other symptoms are ignored.

Overall, while I agree that it is certainly deserving of being ONE criterion for ASPD, it needs to stop being treated as THE criterion for ASPD, at least until our society gets more comfortable and eloquent about explaining remorse to people who don't understand what it is.