#really wanna do more posts like this; i know i talk a lot but these are pretty fun ok hehe

[doublequaterpounder]

Hey yo potentially triggering discussion of EDs in conjunction with feedism

So yeah some posted an anonymous comment on one of my posts asking if feedism is just another form of ED and the answer is complex but short answer is NO

This kink while wonderful and i wouldn’t change it for anything has in the past had a negative impact on my EDs. when i was skinny i was in such a shame spiral with societal desires to be thin but also being really attracted to fatness and deep down wanting to be fat. this period of my life where i was really fit was real bad for my ED and my desire to be fat really affected that. in the long run letting myself get fat and enjoy myself and enjoy food has been a super healing process in recovery from my ED

but here comes the turn side of that. when i started trying to get fat on purpose i think with my previous disposition of body image i got another ED. i don’t think this form of ED has an offical title or even clinically offical but im convinced im not alone in this. when i first plumping up on purpose i became obsessed to an extent where it’d be considered disordered i was weighing myself multiple times a day and being disappointed the number wasn’t going up. i was eating as much as i could making myself super uncomfortable even chugging water so the number on the scale would move up and when i would wake up the next morning with the number being lower i would beat myself up over it a return to the cycle.

this is a super unhealthy way to approach this but cause i was so repressed with my feelings and restricting myself that when i decide to get fat and it wasn’t happening at the speed i wanted it too i got into patterns mirroring that of an ED, idk if this does have a name it’s different to a BED but just obsessive over every details of whatever makes the scale go up.

THIS DOESNT HAVE TO BE THE ONLY WAY TO GAIN WEIGHT OR ENGAGE IN FEEDISM

so for me when i first started in feedism with myself yeah it did amalgamate in the form of an ED but i learnt how to cope and exist in this kink in a healthy way for my lil brain but feedism is not an ED but i do think there needs to be more education and research into feedism induced EDs and there are other ways to gain than stuffing everyday and making yourself uncomfy and beating yourself up over scales and numbers.

currently i’ve been making sure i’ve been eating three (hearty) meals a day snacks making an effort to eat good but not going too overboard. i’ve gotten better about weighing myself and setting realistic expectations with gaining i still have a lil voice in the back of my head that’s disappointed when the number isn’t what i want but it’s a lot less loud

talking about weight gain and feedism outside of horny hours has been extremely healing as well. people don’t say gym goers have an ED but just like most things people can go overboard so there is a way to fatten yourself in good ways

sorry for the long one it’s a bit more serious and stuff but i hope this helps anyone who has struggled with this or is struggling currently and has decided gaining weight isn’t for them because of similar experiences i just wanna let yall know there are ways you can do it and there is another side and it’s pretty fat over here :)

[moon-mine679]

INTRO POST!! (finally) YIPPEEE

Basic stuff is here, and underneath the cut is more things

Name: Luna

Age: Will not disclose, but I am a minor

Pronouns: She/they

Sexuality: Bisexual!! (or pansexual. ive heard that bisexual is really pansexual so idk..)

DNI: Um. Gross people. Thats really it LMFAO..

Asks are closed for now, but I'll open them after new years!! sorry..

Btw: im a jirai kei girl. there WILL be triggering stuff here (sh, ed, uncomfortable topics), but I will also post about other things, such as my interests!

I CANT TALK TO PEOPLE!!! PLEASE IM SO SORRY I LOVE SO MANY OF YOU BUT I CANT TALK FOR THE LIFE OF ME WITHOUT SOUNDING AWKWARD ╥﹏╥ but thats why im putting my interests!! idc if you send asks, multiple in a row, or anything like that. but please know that i do send multiple texts in a row if you are going to message me

Interests:

Project sekai

Lego Monkie Kid

Pokemon

Needy streamer overload

Hookah haze

Love angel syndrome

Oshi no ko (i do not like the incest things.) (i feel like i have to clarify cause weirdos think thats all that its about)

Genshin Impact

Honkai impact 3rd

Fire Emblem (Three houses specifically)

Nier Automata (have to play replicant)

killer in love

i wanted to be hurt by love

pop team epic

alien stage

panty and stocking

case study of vanitas

murder drones

final fantasy (4 + 6 specifically)

the amazing digital circus

madoka magica

project edens garden

tomorrow ill be someones girlfriend

Persona

I'll update this list later...

Kins!!

Mizuki Akiyama (shes just me but im not trans)

All of nightcord but specifically mizuki

Furina (GI)

Ame (NSO)

Amu (HH)

Dominique de Sade (VNC)

Vanitas (VNC)

Yua Takahashi (TIBSGF) (correct me if this isnt the abbreviation..)

Macaque (LMK)

Ryunosuke Akutagawa (BSD)

List will also be updated in the future as more kins come!! (or if i remember them..)

more about me in general!!

I'm very not proper. Like that sentence? that'll probably be the last you see of it LMAOO

i use emoticons and emojis a lot, and text multiple times in a row (i hate sending big paragraphs of text unless im angry and want to prove a point- WHATEVER YOU GET IT)

im a big people pleaser and want everyone to like me. i get anxious very easily when people here talk about others cause I ALWAYS THINK ITS ME (someone pls get this habit out of my head) and i always try to help people when i can. For example: post about feeling down and ill probably spam like you, or send a message in your asks that ily and wishing you the best!

i love it when people associate characters with me!! please pleapslepalesplepalpeapleaaase associate me with characters!

Speaking of characters, when I get obsessed with them, I either love them, or become them, or both! Like for example, with Scaramouche, I kin and he's one of my pookies!! With Mizuki, I kin her so much I wanna become her and dress like her! (does that make sense..?)

I'm always down to talk about my obsessions!! shoot an ask or something, and im so down to talk <3333

idm anons!! just please disclose if youve been here before or not, or claim an emoji!! that would be fun :3

i stay up late a lot, and take naps during the day. literally like 2 hours after school im napping, so if i dont respond to anything then, IM SORRYYY </33

thats it for now!! tysm for reading until the end <333

[suprababka]

How you first met & how they asked you out on a first date (part 2)

Featuring:

• Garou • Metal Bat • Amai Mask

[Saitama & Genos & Speed-o'-Sound Sonic: part 1] [Flashy Flash & Zombieman & King: part 3]

A/N: Merry Christmas! Thank you everyone for reading what I do and supporting me, it means a lot. I always do my best to make you guys happy because I really appreciate all of you. As some of you can remember, I've already mentioned a few times my first post with headcanons, and here it is! Finally, after all this time, I can present it to you as a gift for Christmas!🎄💫🎊🎉

(I hope I didn't mess anything up, and I'm sorry for being a bit late! I really wanted to publish this post sooner but couldn't. We don't celebrate Christmas in my country btw) Unfortunately, I had to split up post into 3 parts :((( Alright, let's see if you guys like my headcanons! :) (I low-key cringe at them tbh)

And dear anons, who requested headcanons, do not worry! I remember about you and will post everything, I just wanted to have a logical "begining" for hcs, you know?

Thanks for all the likes, comments, reblogs and following me! I really appreciate your feedback and support, guys!🥰🫶

You can check my masterlist too see more of my other works.

Prepare for possible OOC!

(Sorry if there are any mistakes!)

And, most importantly, enjoy!!!

You're used to constantly listening to music in your headphones at full volume

To ignore all hustle and bustle and focus on yourself and your daydreams about... practically, anything

(and of course to imagine yourself in a cool edit)

With the help of music, you're able to ignore people's rude remarks towards each other or to you for whatever reasons

However, sometimes it's better to be aware of your surroundings

For example, you're returning back to your home now and it's late evening

Some weirdo catcalls you, but you don't hear it, being engrossed in your favourite song

Suddenly you feel someone grabbing you by your wrist and pressing you against the wall

"I said heeey," you squirm and wince, feeling the smell of alcohol

"L-let go of me!"

"Hey, relax, girliiiie. I just wanted to – hiccup – to talk to yaaa... Such a cute giiirl. C'mon, let's kiss."

"No, I don't want that!" you try to free your hand, but the man's grip only tightens

"Don't be such a brat now. – hiccup – If ya don't wanna kiss... we can get freaky straight awaaay..."

"Ew, no!" you make an attempt to shove him away, but he's stronger

"Rruude. – hiccup – Come on, let's get started with a kiiiiiss..." you start looking around in hope of finding someone not indifferent, but people seem not to notice you

"Huh? Don't worryyy. – hiccup – Nobody is gonna seeee us. We'll be quiet."

"Get away from me!"

"Shut it, girl. Wait, nooo... – hiccup – Keep your mouth open... and gimme that kiss..." the man starts to lean in, but a sudden tap on his shoulder interrupts him

"Hey, how about I give you a kiss?"

The drunk man turns to the tall stranger who pecks his knuckles

"Huh? Who the hell–"

In the next moment, the drunk prick is knocked out cold on the floor

"Tch, disgusting," the stranger clenches his fist with annoyed look

You blink for a few seconds, processing what just happened

You feel a huge wave of relief, realising that you're safe now, and sense your body and lips trembling

Or they were doing that before?

Remembering about your life saver, you look at him, but the tears in your eyes don't let you examine him in detail

"Th-thank You!" you grab his hand, "Thank You so much! Y-you saved me! Thank You! How can I thank You?"

Garou looks at you both confused and annoyed

Confused because he's just not used to being treated like that, to people thanking him and clinging to him

Annoyed because he was in a bad mood the whole day

Thankfully, he let off some steam on the drunk man

Bu-ut the thought of other drunkards who pester fragile and helpless girls like you makes him angry again

It pisses him off

He hates it

Just look at you, clinging to him as if he's your lifebuoy

(well, he practically is)

When you calm down a bit, you let go of his hand and wipe away your tears

"Sorry, I wasn't myself for a moment..."

Now Garou is puzzled, not knowing what do next

Originally, he wanted to teach the prick a lesson and then continue going back to his place

But seeing your scared face made him realise that he can't let you go on your own

Looks like his plans changed

"Erm, can you walk on your own?"

"Yeah... I can," you take a few steps with your slightly shaking legs

"Good."

"But thank You. Seriously."

"Well, someone had to teach the bastard a lesson. Now let's go. I'll accompany you."

"Uh, there is no need to! You already did enough for me, I can't ask You-"

"It wasn't a question. Or what, afraid of your boyfriend seeing us?"

"I don't have a boyfriend..."

"Then I'm definitely coming. Or you'll get into trouble again," you two begin to walk

"... Thank You, sir."

"Sir? Don't call me that, I'm only 18, so let's talk without formality."

"You're 18?!"

"Yeah, what's with that?"

"Uh, nothing... I'm Y/n, by the way."

"Garou."

"It's really nice to meet you, Garou. Seriously, thanks again."

"Yeah-yeah, I get it, you can stop that."

"I'm just really grateful. So if there is any way I can-"

"You can thank me by not getting yourself into trouble again."

"Right, okay."

You continue to walk in awkward silence

Or it's for you awkward since Garou is deep in his thoughts with his hands in pockets

But he sees your struggle of not knowing what to do and, with a sigh, decides to "help" you

"Fine, you can treat me with some good food."

"Huh?"

"As a way to thank me. It seems you can't just let it go."

"Yeah, you're right. But you want me to treat you today or any other day? And in a restaurant or–

You're interrupted by Garou's chuckle

"You really like to solve everything right on the spot, huh? But let's eat out not today, I'm not hungry, heh. I don't care which day, but evening is preferable. You decide the rest, just remember that I eat a lot."

"Got it. So if you don't mind, I'd like to cook dinner and invite you to my place."

"I wouldn't invite myself to a restaurant either since it'd cost you a fortune!" Garou suddenly laughs

(as if products aren't expensive)

"But I love home food, so it sounds like a plan."

"Great, does this Saturday sound good?"

"Yep."

Meanwhile you reach your home

"I live here. Let's exchange our phone numbers and keep in touch?"

"... Yeah, that would be reasonable. Let's do that."

It's safe to say that Garou LOVES your food when trying it

It brings him some weird but warm sensations from his childhood

He feels as if he is at home, place where he can feel safe and cared for

Such a strange feeling, but... he likes it

He also enjoys having conversations about different topics with you

(and he's pleasantly surprised when you agree with him that fictional villains deserve appreciation and understanding too)

But is it really the end of... whatever was between the two of you? You're gonna just split up and live on?

Both of you hesitant to hint on mutual attraction desire to spend time together more

When it's time to say goodbye, you tell him to text you if he needs anything and stop by to share a meal

You both laugh it off (just in case)

And off Garou goes

Don't be sad though, because it just so happens you keep running into each other on the streets

And what a coincidence that almost every time one of you needs help: either he helps you with carrying the groceries, you patch him up, he accompanies you to make sure you're safe, or you invite him for tea and wait out the rain

One evening he put his shoes on, getting ready to head out from your place, and you see him off

"So, see you soon, huh?"

"Yeah, see ya. But next time will be a date," his signature cocky grin (that you already both hate and love at the same time) appears on his face

"Hah- What?"

"You heard me, bye for now," he waves you goodbye with his back turned to you and disappears in the crowd

"I guess I have no choice, huh? Not that I complain though..." you mutter to yourself before closing a door with the biggest smile on your face

Bonus:

Garou isn't dumb when it comes to realising his feelings

Well, yeah, it scares him at first since he doesn't want to depend on anyone and possibly be heartbroken

He tries to avoid you, but his attempts are in vain

Because he tends to get close to you as much as possible both mentally and physically

So he has no other option but to accept his crush on you

The next thing he wants to know is your feelings towards him

So in order to do that, he starts watching your every move, reaction, glance, touch, smile and listening to your every word very attentively

And of course he sees signs of attraction

(at least he hopes that these are)

Garou isn't someone who will appear at your door with a bouquet of flowers and nicely ask you out

So yeah, he decides to act all confident and practically leave you no choice but to go out with him

(he doesn't want to even consider rejection)

But he shouldn't worry because there is no way you'd deny him, right? ;)

Your heart is breaking every time you see posters with missing pets

They look so happy in their photos

And who knows what happens to these poor creatures...

You also feel sorry for their owners who must feel devastated

(what makes it worse is that there are some idiots who find it funny to call pet owners and imitate animal sounds)

Today is no exception

You stand in front of another poster

A cute cat is depicted in the picture

"Tama is a really friendly and calm cat. She likes to be petted and held in arms, but can also be easily scared too. If you find our cat, please be patient with her, so she could get comfortable around you. A generous reward is promised, please call this number: + XXX XXX XXXX" the text in the poster says

Sighing, you continue going to home and see this sheet glued to something every two steps

Damn, Tama's owners must be really worried about her

That's quite understandable

But sadly, as much as you want, you can't help them

So you continue going back home

As you're about to open the door, you suddenly hear a cat's loud meowing, signaling that the cat is hurt

You check the surroundings and find a cat with an unpleasant wound on his leg

Millions of different possible scenarios and outcomes race through your mind

Should you take a blanket from your place to wrap it around the cat and go to the vet?

Or maybe just patch up the cat at home?

What if he's hungry and thirsty?

The wound isn't bleeding, so it's something

In the end you decide to use your shirt as cocoon for the cat and take him to the nearest vet clinic

Fortunately, it's not busy and you don't have to wait to see a vet

It turns out that the wound is not deep and will be healed just in a week

What a relief!

(you also find out the the cat is a girl, not a boy)

You buy prescribed ointment with bandages and food for... uh, how should you name the cat?

Hmmm... C/n (cat's name) sounds good!

Now you're free to go home!.. With a pet...

Yeah, you didn't have time to properly think about it

Well, you can't just leave C/n alone on the street now, can you?

So you decide to take her home for now

On the way back you spot the same poster with missing cat again

Waaaaait a minute...

Tama is C/n!

Or C/n is Tama?

Anyway, for the first time in your life you're able to help owners find their pet!

You take the poster because you can't use your phone now

As you get home you organize a corner for Tama: bowls with milk and food (which almost immediately disappears), a box with a soft blanket (Tama really enjoys herself there) and some papers (just in case she wants to go to the toilet)

As for now, you're dealing the phone number given in poster

(and try to ignore your nervousness)

Beep...

... Beep...

....

Beeeeeeep...

...

... Beep...

Bee- "Yeah?" suddenly a man's voice asks

(ah, what a beautiful voice... and strangely familiar)

"U-um, good evening, I call you because I found your cat Tama."

"Oh my god, really?? Thank you so much!!! How is Tama?!"

"She is fine. Well, except for a wound on her leg. But don't worry, it's not serious, the healing process should take around one week."

"Oh, damn it, our poor cat... But thank you again for taking care of her. Where and when can I take her?"

"Well, she's with me at my place and I'm free for the rest of the evening, so if you want to take her back today, you can come whenever you want to."

"Great, I'll head out now. Where do you live?"

"Oh, right! How about I send you it in a message?"

"Yeah, that would be preferable, thanks. Alright, then I'm waiting for the address and heading out. See ya."

"Yeah, see you-" the line goes dead before you can finish your sentence, "soon..."

Sighning, you send the address and turn your attention back to the cat who is peacefully resting in the box

"Did you hear, Tama? Your owner is coming for you," you pet her head, "I know we've met just today, but I kinda got used to you. It's nice to have a pet, especially as chill as you. Heh, who knows, maybe I will even get someone in the future."

Soon a door bell rings

You reach the door, open it and see...

Metal Bat, an S-class hero!

(aka your celebrity crush)

(so that's why his voice seemed familiar on the phone)

(and oh god, he's even more handsome in reality than in the photos)

Metal Bat stares at you with mouth agape (and with a slight blush on his cheeks?), but quickly fixes his composure, clearing his throat

"Uh-h, hey, we're here for our cat, Tama."

We?

You look down and notice a small girl, holding Metal Bat's hand

She must be his little sister

And she has puffy eyes

Aww, poor thing must have been really worried about their cat

"Hello!" she confidently says

"Hey there. Um, please come in. Tama is sleeping now," you point at the cat

"Tama!" she immediately lets go of her brother's hand and rushes to the pet

"Hey, Zenko, wait, we're not at home, you can't just..." he extends his hand to stop his sister, but the little girl is faster

He sighs and looks at you, "Sorry about that. She was really worried about Tama. We both were."

You shrug it off, saying it was fine and reassuring him with sympathy

Both of you continue talking about Tama and how you rescued her while Zenko is hugging and petting the cat (who is still peacefully sleeping with belly upwards)

Metal Bat seems to be nervous (and even blushful?) in the conversation

You find it strange since he is always portrayed as a confident and tough man in the media

Maybe it's just his act? Who knows...

(in fact, he finds you really cute and attractive and has never interacted with girls like this before, that's why he feels anxious while talking to you)

However, his intense gaze (and the fact that you're talking to METAL BAT) makes you squirm too

What exactly is he looking at on your face? Oh god, what if he thinks you're ugly??

(he's actually admiring your beauty)

"We're forever grateful for finding Tama and treating her, seriously. We owe you big time, so is there anything we- I can do to thank you?

("Go on a date with me", you want to say)

"Ah, it's nothing, really! Like I said, I'm happy I could help, we need to take care of little ones."

"Yeah... But," he suddenly pulls something from his pocket and places it in your palm, "please take it."

You feel a big stack of cash in your hand

It's so big that you can barely clench your first

That is a LOT of money

"I... I can't accept that."

"No, take it," Metal Bat wraps his warm hands around yours, "Please, Y/n."

You both stare into each other eyes mesmerized

His hands never leaving yours

(and you love this)

(I'll tell you a secret that he loves it too, hence he doesn't move a muscle)

(moreover, he fights the sudden urge to kiss you)

"I... I just want you to know that I helped because I wanted to, not because of money..." you suddenly speak up

"Of course. Many people wouldn't even take Tama to the vet. So the fact you took care of our cat speaks volumes. We can't thank you enough," he notices that his hands are still on yours and awkwardly, yet reluctantly pulls them away, "Sorry..."

"Ah, it's okay..."

"Onii-chan, let's go home?" Zenko suddenly walks up to both of you

"Ah, yeah, we should get going now."

"Right, let me give you medicine for Tama."

You give a packet with stuff for the pet to Metal Bat since Zenko already holds Tama in her hands

They thank you again and you say bye to each other

Metal Bat seems to want to say something or ask you

But just shakes his head and heads out with his sister

And you're alone at home, processing what just happened

Both feeling pleasantly shocked that you talked to Metal Bat (and he even held your hand) and sad that that's all it was

He's gone now and you will never meet him

If he liked you, he would have asked you out, right?

Or maybe he was just too shy?

Or he simply didn't like you

Maybe he even has a girlfriend

But he wouldn't hold your hand and act like this in that case, would he?

Alright, then it means you just gotta message him and ask him out

Not now, of course

Or maybe just let it go? Maybe you're just delusional

In the end you decide to take a few days to make up your mind

Funny thing is that a couple days after, as you're about to text Metal Bat, you actually receive a message from him (what a coincidence!) :

"Hey, Y/n, it's Metal Bat. I hope you remember me😅 Anyway, I'd like to get to know you better and was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?"

You firstly think your own eyes deceive you

But then of course you say yes

Bonus:

Badd wasn't interested in dating

And he especially didn't believe in love with a first sight

Though, when you open the door and he sees you

It's like his world turns upside down

You're the most beautiful girl he has ever seen in his life

(yes, he has fangirls, but they don't interest him)

Suddenly his breath catches in his throat, and his heart race speeds up

Oooooh, young hero is immediately attracted to you

That is something he didn't plan

And he falls for you even more while talking to you

(his heart melts when he feels your soft hand in his)

(he definitely can get used to this)

You're gorgeous, kind, funny and adorable

So there is no way you're single

But on the other hand, it wouldn't hurt to try, right?

As he is considering to ask you out before heading out

A thought of not being good enough for you crosses his mind

He's just a dumb guy with a bat, so yeah, he doesn't stand a chance

And just heads off

On the way back to their house, Zenko suddenly asks him a question, "Do you like Y/n, onii-chan?"

"Huh, what?"

"I like her, she is nice. And Tama was comfortable around her too, so it means a lot."

"Yeah, that's true..."

"You looked cute together. So, do you like Y/n?"

"I... Yeah, I think so."

"Then why you didn't ask her out?"

"Because it's probably not mutual."

"But I saw how she looked at you! She definitely liked you!"

"Really? You think so?"

"Yes! Now go back and ask her out!"

"No, Zen, it's not how it works. Too late for that."

"Onii-chan, you baka! You missed your chance!!"

"Well, not entirely. I still have her phone number, right?"

"Hmph, then text her."

"I will, but not now. It's better to do that tomorrow in the evening."

"Why?"

"Because I'm too scared to message her now."

"... Just trust me."

And so the next evening comes and it's time for Badd to message you

But there is a slight problem...

He feels more nervous than he should and can't think of anything good to type

Gladly, Zenko is here to help him

And they spend whole evening on composing his message for you

Though, they finish doing it too late, and Metal Bat has no other choice but to postpone messaging you again

When he finally sends you message next evening, he throws his phone on the table and leans back on the sofа, running his fingers through his hair and letting out deep breath

He finally did it

Now he needs to wait for your respo-

His phone vibrates, signaling that he received a new message

Feeling more nervous than before, he unlocks his phone and reads your reply

And then rereads it again

And again

"Hey😊 Of course I remember you, and yes, I'd love to go on a date with you! What do you have in mind? :)"

He can't believe it

You said yes

(bruh, of course you did)

And now Badd needs to decide what you'll do on the date

Well, crap, he didn't think about that

Amai Mask is an idol

And of course he has tons of fangirls, either fawning over him or genuinely loving him

Still, he doesn't want to have relationships with his fans

Every fan knows that and yet believes that they can be the one for him

Don't get him wrong, he loves his fans, but it gets overbearing sometimes

And as much as he loves attention and everything that popularity gives him, he still needs time to be alone

To chill in his jacuzzi, watch some TV-show with a glass of wine, eat at his favourite restaurant in a VIP zone

Or to take a walk in the park... which he's doing now

The park has a nice yard with a beautiful fountain in the center of it, bushes with blossoming flowers grow around the perimeter and lovely benches are stated on each side of the yard

In addition, there aren't a lot of people at this place and he almost never gets recognized

The key word: almost

"A-ah! It's you, Amai Mask! I'm your biggest fan!!!" a woman's voice distracts him from enjoying his walk, "Can I get your autograph and photo with you?"

He turns around and sees a woman with bright make-up on her face, wearing a luxurious dress and high heels

"Of course, how can I reject my gorgeous fan?" he fakes his famous smile, fixing his hair, "Though, I don't have a pen, so there can be a problem."

"Thank you! Don't worry, I got everything covered," she pulls out a pen and a small poster with him

His favourite picture of him is printed on the paper

(alright, let's be fair, he loves every picture of him)

Amai Mask signs the poster, poses for a photo and says good-bye to his fans

Now he can continue on with his walk

... And run into his another fan again

Looks like he isn't going to spend his time alone without anyone disturbing him

After dealing with the fangirl, he decides that it's time for him to go home

Yeah, jacuzzi sounds nice now

As he heads out from the park, he feels someone tapping on his shoulder, "Um, excuse me, sir..."

Ugh, not another one

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, as much as I love my fans and would like to give you my autograph, I can't. I have to be somewhere else, so I don't have time," he truns around and fixes his hair, arrogantly closing his eyes, and waves his hand as if dismissing the person

"What, you're so busy that you can't even take your scarf?"

"Huh?" he opens his eyes and sees you, handing him his scarf

Ah, it must have fallen

"Thanks, cutie..." he takes it and notices a rather suspicious figure from the corner of his eyes

A man prepares his camera to take a photo of Amai Mask... and you

Oh no, he knows where this is going

The reporter wants to make gossip about him and you!

Pop idol loves being in the center of attention and using gossip about him to gain more popularity, but for now he can't let that happen

So what to do?

Walk away? No, the reporter will get suspicious that both of you are hiding something

Act like you asked for his autograph and he was about to give it to you? This will work, but there is a risk you won't play along and that will draw even more suspicion

Pretend that he is the one who picked up the scarf? Yeah, it'll make him look good, but again, there'll be a high chance you won't go with the flow

What if you're one of those fans who want to be the center of attention with him?

Well, no matter what, Amai can just threaten the journalist and deal with him this way, but he doesn't want to

So, what to do? He needs to decide now

"Hey, I know this might be strange, but I need you to do something for me, no, for both of us," he whispers, "Just act like you're my fan who asks for my autograph. There is a reporter behind you who is about to film us together in order to publish some scandalous articles. You don't want that, do you?"

You skeptically raise your eyebrow

"Just who he thinks he is?" you ask yourself, "He looks like one of the guys who are too full of themselves and believe that the world resolves around them. ..So maybe it's some kind of prank? They're popular nowadays. Yeah, it must be."

"Ha-ha, very funny," you cross your arms, "And let me guess, the reporter is actually a friend of yours, and he's filming us. If I "play along", you two will upload a compilation of videos with people giving you autographs because you're allegedly a pop star."

Your words are like blades that cut through his ego

"... What? Do you even know who I am?"

"And why should I? I could care less."

Another strike right through his ego

"You know what? I don't have time for that. I've got better things to do than arguing with... you."

Now Sweet Mask strikes back

"..."

"HUUUUUUUUUH?" you suddenly exclaim, "Just who do you think you are to talk like that?!"

"And now you care enough to know who I am, huh?" he smirks

"Actually, no. I know who you are. You are a self-obsessed wannabe pop idol!"

Amai snorts, "Self-obsessed you say? That's rich coming from you."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, excuse you. You accuse me of being narcissistic when you're the one who thinks highly of herself, believing that she's so special because she didn't fall for a prank. But in reality, no one even pranked you. What, you're that desperate to be popular on the Internet?"

"What?" you cringe. "You're the desperate one. Otherwise, explain to me why you "warned" me about some reporter and now don't even care about him?"

Oh

He forgot about that

Instantly checking the journalist behind you, Sweet Mask sees him, taking pictures of you two

Great, just great! Everything goes NOT according to his plan

Instead of relaxing and spending time by himself, he has to deal with you and a noisy reporter

Groaning, Amai Mask moves past you and walks up to the man with the camera, starting to deal with him

You turn around and watch the scene

Turns out you were wrong. No one was pranking you. You in fact talked to the famous pop idol – Sweet Mask! And he was indeed right about the journalist

Well, this is embarassing

Should you do something? Or just walk away?

While you're contemplating what to do next, you glance at Amai Mask and start examining him

He is tall, muscular... and handsome

Damn, he is attractive, awfully attractive

And why is he kinda-

Wait, what are you even thinking about?

You walk to two men only to see the reporter literally fleeing from Amai Mask's wrath... and coldness?

It's a bit freezing when you approach him, maybe it was wind? Doesn't matter now, the cold is gone anyway

"Um, so..."

"So," he crosses his arms and stares at you

"... I'm sorry."

For a moment, there is a hint of surprise on his face, but it immediately fades away, turning back into annoyance

"I just had a shitty day and sorta lashed it out on you. That was wrong of me. Sorry again."

He keeps staring at you with crossed arms over his chest

You can't really read his gaze

Is he examining you? Cursing you? Waiting for you to say something? Battling between forgiving you or staying mad at this whole situation?

As you start walking away, he calls out to you, "A shitty day you say?"

"Uh, yeah," you turn back to him

"I'm not having a good day either. So..." he gets closer to you, "It looks like we both need to blow some steam off, to just chill and relax, huh?"

"Damn right. I just want to flop onto my bed and do nothing."

"I feel you. Though I was wondering something."

"Mmm?"

"How about we talk again when we have a good day? Or we can meet up to make our days better?"

Woah, what? Is he asking you out?

"I thought you hated me?"

"What gave you that vibe? My retorts? Well, it's only fair to treat others the same way they treat you. Besides, I like your feisty personality and pretty looks."

Wow, that's suspiciously unexpected

What if he is a playboy and wants to use you?

There were a few rumors about him and his one-night stands back then

Seeing your troubled face, Amai Mask clears his throat, "And no, it's not a prank or something like that. I'm serious. It'd be a shame if I missed an opportunity to get closer to you and regretted it later."

Ah, to hell with this! We live only once, right?

"I'm glad to know so. But you know what? Let's try and see where the future leads us."

Pop idol smirks, "Good answer. Here is a card with my phone number, please send a first message with your... name. Huh, I can't believe I still didn't ask it."

"It's Y/n."

"Y/n, huh? It suits you. Well, of course it does, a pretty name for a pretty girl. ..As cheesy as it sounds."

"Thank you," you smile at the compliment, taking his business card

"So, see you later then, Y/n."

The way he says your name makes your heart flutter for some reason

"Yeah, see you!"

"Looking forward to our date, and don't worry, I won't disappoint you," he winks at you and starts walking away

Okay...

What the hell just happened?!

And why is your heart beating so fast?

Bonus:

Sweet Mask instantly finds you beautiful

Which is already enough for him to understand that you're special

(you are my special... sorry, wrong fandom)

But what attracts him more is that you talk back to him

Of course you're not the first nor the last one to do this

However, he somehow feels entertained while arguing with you

Well, alright, mostly pissed, but amused too

Amai usually doesn't really bother bickering with others: he simply doesn't have time for that and has better things to do than waste his precious time on "idiots"

But since he does continue his quarrel with you, he realizes there's another thing he likes about you: the way you stand up to him and your witty comments

He's really interested in hearing more of your remarks

When he's done threatening the poor reporter and hears your apology, he's surprised for a second because he didn't take you as someone who would be sorry for their behavior

You managed to surprise him again

That's how Sweet Mask understands that he can't just let you go, that he is interested in you

So he decides to take a shot

And it's not like you'll reject him because...

He is Sweet Mask after all

[turtleblogatlast]

Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?

He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.

Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.

And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.

[freakurodani]

The parallel between Sokka and Tenzin as their fathers' sons.

Sokka, left at 13 as his father and all the other men head off to war. Hakoda tells him "being a man is knowing where he's needed the most" and he needs to protect his sister, his home.

Tenzin is the second airbender. He is also half water tribe, he's a man. When Aang dies, he will be the last airbender. He understands what he needs to do.

Untold amount of pressure and responsibility have been thrust upon them by their fathers. Though, I believe it is not all intentional, but the unfortunate circumstance of being the fathers of sons who take responsibility incredibly seriously.

In Sokka's case, "protect your sister" is a vague instruction. It was meant to give him purpose, to help him feel okay about being left behind, He is too young for war, his father does not want to bring his child to slaughter. But Sokka will die with purpose. He will train the children of his tribe so they will be protected, he will face a fire nation ship until his last breath. He cannot go to war, but Hakoda did not see that war was all around them. In trying to give Sokka purpose, Hakoda put their world on his shoulders.

We do not get to see Aang be a father (in the TV shows), but we know he had hopes for the future. All his children were air nomads, and the air acolytes brought his culture back, but Tenzin could bend. This part of their culture is one ONLY they share. I do not think Aang would hide this, he is joyous that he gets to share his culture. When he feels respected, he always is, he taught the air acolytes after all. Off handedly, he could say, "I'm hopeful for a future where there are lots more air benders," and that, which feels mostly innocuous to him, is the nail in the coffin of Tenzin's fate. He is Avatar Aang's son, and the future of the air benders. It would not matter that Aang meant a future in generations. Tenzin sees the responsibility and it's his. He is his father's only air bending child, he knows what he needs to do.

Being a parent is not understanding the way the things you say harm your children. Even those things that feel innocuous in the moment can be life altering. Especially the more the child respects the parent. Purpose and Hope for those with a broader perspective, can be death sentences to a life that could have been when expressed to those who idolize the former.

[oneluckydragon]

got hit with the echo+sora brainrot so i am once more rambling in your askbox about it. because reasons.

anywho i think there is something truly saddening about echo's struggles to make peace within herself and how she truly finds it hard to find that peace when she is so certain that if the truth about her origins were to be revealed to the world, much less to *sora*, everything she achieved, everything she worked for, all of which matters to her most, will crumble away in a moment's notice.

but the fear of losing all your life's work is none compared to the fear of losing sora. the feeling of poison that settled itself within themselves and between each other out of fear and tragedy of what had happened to them is familiar. echo's resemblance to dusknoir was already enough to set the two off because of how much it had all hurt to see someone you love and yourself turn into a mockery and a splitting image of someone who had pretended to care yet showed he never did at all, but this poison is louder. it hurts to bare, to carry, and to have none but yourself to be its sole holder.

but this poison, this feeling of heartache is different. because whereas the previous pain was something both of them felt, sora was lucky enough to not have known the truth about the person who she cares for so dearly.

echo knows that she used to be darkrai. and it haunts her to have known that her previous incarnation was so *cruel*, all for the sake of it just feeling right. wishing to engulf an entire world in darkness, solely for whatever desire she used to have.

and for how much she knows, how much she will hammer it into her own head that she is *not* like that anymore, that she looks at her past with sneer and disgust and that she will not be the barer of evil anymore, it will not matter in the slightest when she will have to look at sora if she were to ever find out.

how afraid, angry and dejected she would look when finding out, and how she will go on the defense/offense because of how much this will overwhelm her.

because when echo looks at her own shadow, she sees herself for what she is. she knows what she is, be it out of shame or guilt.

but when sora will look at it, she will see a tall, contorting and menacing shadow, towering over with a bright cyan eye doing nothing but looking at her, as if tempting her to make the next move.

and she defends herself. from someone she knows will not harm her. she raises her arms up in self defense from a hand that would never hurt her more than the world has already did.

she knows echo will not hurt her. and thats why she is afraid.

Oh my oh my OH MY, Sinnoh!!! YES YES YES!

HOW!!! IN THE WORLD!!! Are you so good at crawling into my head and creating these vivid analysis/snippets on my OCs??? I've barely shared ANY information about Echo and Sora because I've been wanting to hoard most of my stuff for when my fic is finally finished... but... I think you've broken my resolve a bit, if I'm entirely honest.

You know what? I'm so inspired by your accuracy and eagerness to talk about my girls that I'm gonna forgo my crippling anxiety regarding my writing skills and instead post a snippet of my WIP fic here as a treat for you. A teaser, if you will. Since I have no idea when the fic in question will actually be done and ready (or when I will be satisfied with it, cause the thing is currently 36,000 words and still slowly climbing). And now you've got me eager to share SOMETHING of my fic with you and anyone that might want to take a peek at it.

Please enjoy this conversation between Dusknoir and Echo. The topic deals a lot with what you'd described up above!! c:

[Note: this is an unedited part of my fic because I am still in the process of writing and it may change in the future, so please be gentle w/ me but I'd love to read any thoughts/comments that pop up while reading!! pls send asks or replies or anything really cause I love you guys]

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++

“I’m going to tell you something now, and you are going to listen.” Echo commands with a sharp bite in her voice that Dusknoir cannot fathom ignoring. He pauses and then offers a slow nod, waiting, wondering what she could possibly desire to tell him at a time like this, of all things.

Minutes pass as Echo remains rooted in place, still as her own shadow, and her eyes dart around as she stares at the patches of dry grass and sand beneath her paws. Her claws clench and unclench, digging into the earth like daggers as the wind of the forest (it’s trees so close, just behind them, a looming sort of presence that could engulf them whole) whistles through the surrounding branches, carrying stray leaves of many bright greens through the chilling breeze. Dusknoir watches them dance around Echo, twirling, floating down, down, down… but it’s quiet, too quiet, and Dusknoir feels a shiver pass through him when Echo’s voice finally rings out through the silence.

"When I evolved, Sora was petrified," She says, nearly a whisper, an admission that melts away her confidence and appears to bring her a flood of both shame and regret. Her face twists up then, strangely, like she’d felt a twinge of pain from somewhere deep inside the very fabric of her own soul and was unable to quell it. "She couldn’t even bring herself to look at me most days. At first, my appearance… well, it reminded her too much of you. And eventually of someone I used to be.”

Someone I used to be. At that, Dusknoir’s immediate reaction is to recall Echo’s previous life as a human, as the miserable shell of a creature surviving alongside Grovyle that he’d relentlessly hunted in the dark future. A human made of contempt and anger and apathy, who never smiled or laughed or cried or screamed like the old legends said humans would-- an entity that simply existed rather than lived. An echo of a life long dead and buried. But, judging by her tone, by her voice, by some uneasy intuition itching in the back of his mind like a swarm of pestilent Ninjask… he knows that she means something else entirely. Something that she isn’t willing to share. And frankly, that concept utterly terrifies him.

Someone I used to be. Dusknoir wants to speak, to break his own silence, wants to ask the myriad of questions bubbling up in his throat because this isn't the first time she's hinted at another life beyond being human, but those questions die at the source like a flame doused in water. And always the coward, coward, coward, instead he takes the easy way out by doing nothing at all. Whether Echo notices his surge of inner conflict or not-- the nervous wring of his hands and the tremble in his spine that he cannot control under her gaze-- she does not react.

“I’d take a step and Sora would flinch away.” Echo confesses, her markings flickering with light before going dark and dead, as if her body wished to snuff them out entirely, a deep seated rejection, a self-loathing so strong that Dusknoir cannot help but recognize it and empathize, and his heart aches, “It took ages for her to stop shaking when I’d speak. To stop looking at me like-- like I was going to…” 

Echo grimaces like she’s enduring waves of grueling torture and doesn’t finish that string of thought, but it’s not hard to make an educated guess on what went unsaid. Like I was going to betray her. Hurt her. Break her heart. She’s been through so much already and I couldn’t bear to be another influence in the history of her suffering. I hate myself because of how I made her feel. When her eyes went wide in fear and through them I could see myself staring back like some sort of burden, some sort of curse.

“I am not my past.” Proud and true, Echo straightens up and holds her head high, a spark igniting in her eyes, a glint of determination, a will to keep going and going despite such circumstances and strife, despite this horrid, unspeakable past that haunts her so, “And I am definitely not you. It’s taken a while, but I know that much now. I’ve accepted it.”

I am not my past. And I am definitely not you.

A sigh, a breath, and Echo glances at him with a certain sorrow that cannot be described, a sorrow that lingers even through the veil of her tenacity, "But no matter how I feel, no matter my conviction, my shadows still find ways through the cracks. Every time I think I'm getting a grip and that I might finally understand myself… I change all over again." She admits, sounding more angry and tired than defeated now-- like a mirror of her old self, her human self that had clawed and damned and cursed him, despised him more than anything. "I hate it. I hate that I never truly know who I am. That I have to learn about my past through stories others tell me, or through fragments of twisted, broken memories that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Through conflict and pain and… and..."

"Echo," Dusknoir murmurs her name softly, an offering, a potential escape if only she would wish to drop the subject and forget this conversation had ever happened-- if she'd overstepped and needed an excuse to back out, a diversion, an understanding. And briefly, Dusknoir wonders why she is opening up about this particular information, why she would delve into something so vulnerable, so personal. Why she would bring up this hurtful history when it obviously brings her great discomfort.

And then, he gets an answer.

“You’re lucky, Dusknoir." There it is, that wildfire burning in her eyes again. A spark that’s new and bold and startling. But lucky? No, never. He'd have to disagree, accounting the mountain of evidence that was his life and regrettable deeds.

"You already know exactly who you are and what you’ve done, and most importantly why. You have more than a tattered picture of yourself that reflects broken answers. And you can change with that knowledge. I see you trying.” She tells him, searching, looking for something so deeply and Dusknoir wishes he knew what it could be so that he could give it to her, because he would, he would gladly give it to her without a second thought if it meant they could be close again. But he isn’t a fool, and he’s wise enough to know they’ll never be like they were before. “And if somehow I could change, even as half-assed as I have. Well, then what’s your excuse?”

You can do it, say her unspoken words, I believe in you.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)

[dreamyintersexouppy]

sending love to all head mates with complex relationships to the body, language isn’t build to adequately describe our senses of identity and that’s fucking rough sometimes! However y’all choose or opt out of labels, I respect your choices!

thank you! but i think that's the thing about it, tma/tme (from how i understand it novas a good explainer but idk if im a good rememberer) isn't opt in or out, it just describes something that exists already, and while my identity as a boy is real queer how i get treated while fronting is still more affected by how people see the body. it feels like a tma if you don't know me/don't know im fronting and tme if you do but even that seems strange (nova says: that sounds like just tme to me cuz of the opportunity to opt out but it could be more complicated). i think the language is good but i also think it matters more to me to be an ally to nova and all my transfem friends than to think forever about where i sit in a framework that wasn't made to benefit me. in the end that stuff is for trans women and as funny as the joke of boy headmate in tma body is i think my position as boy headmate makes me not the authority on actual meaningful discussion

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[todayisafridaynight]

i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive

ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is

[telesodalite]

I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

[gemharvest]

fffffuck I hate that just existing feels too overwhelming sometimes. Like I'll be fine dw about me I've been feeling like this for. Years now. But god the way you just don't rlly get used to it.

[kimetsu-chan]

I went on a walk with my dad

[goldentigerfestival]

I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).

My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.

Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".

The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

having an oc story set this year is really fucked up bc i look at the calendar and i'm like "oh shit we got [character]'s death in a few days waow..."