#ALL the fucking popular meme blogs are in it. i dont event follow most of them anymore cuz i was so sick of the ads

[meanya]

I don't care about the weird tumblr ads. At least they don't try to disguise themselves as a regular posts!! I'll take Sword Lady and Pikachu-cosplay man any day over whatever this insidious shit is

[une-dyke-tragique]

so um yeah

IDK who keeps track of this blog in the least bit anymore, I’m really not at all a popular blogger anymore, but y’all may have noticed I’m not posting on here as much.

I already disengaged with “the discourse” on here, and unfollowed most of the people who posted too much intra-tumblr politics. I have no idea what the hell is going on in l*sbian / wuh-luh-wuh tumblr hell, for example, (and thank god for that). However due to recent events, I’ve decided to almost entirely abandon my internet presence for a while.

I signed out of my latest insta account and I don’t know the password for it, so who knows how I’m gonna log on again. I deactivated Facebook. I’m going to stop checking up on my friends’ various accounts and blogs... AND the channels and blogs of people I “follow” on social media who i don’t even know in real life.

Im keeping this blog up here for me to look at for myself and post VERY sporadically, maybe I’ll use it consistently again in the future but that definitely won’t be again for a while.

I realized just how fucking short life is lately, it is so painfully and immeasurably short, immeasurably because the universe is too old for us to grasp the concept of our own brevity. 

I realized  that even though I don’t spend as much time on SM as I used to, I still spend way too much time and energy on it, and it affects real life negatively. Iv’e realized over the years that this is a consistent problem with me, but it’s something of an addiction/ out of my control. 

I care more about reading interesting internet articles and wikipedia pages than I do my textbooks. I care more about memes than whatever the inside jokes happening at school are. i put more energy into my internet friends and my friends who don’t go to my school (and that thus I obviously dont see often) than the people who are at my school. 

It needs to stop. I need to learn to live in the “here and now”. I can’t keep “saving things” for another day, just like I have been doing my entire life. it’s terrible. I have to just tell myself “do this now” “have this done by the deadline” “stop procrastinating” all of the time.