#really unfortunate too i usually play in a group of 2-3 so i was just celebrating alone

[megalophobic-astronomer]

regretevator speedrun lesbians%

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back To Eden - The Summoning (Part 5)

(Nayeon x Fem!reader) & (Mina x Fem!reader)

Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1

Take Me Back To Eden - Granite - Part 2

Take Me Back To Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3

Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism - Part 4

Word Count: 8.1k

Fluff/Angst/Suggestive

Summary: Y/N leaves Nayeon's apartment and gets a phone call from an unexpected person, resulting in a hang out session that quickly develops into a series of unexpected events.

TW: Cursing, teasing, momo is there for a second, mina is here, references to sex, making out for sure, abusive behavior (nayeon is crazy yall) a dream sequence thats a little wild, choking, crime, uh....jihyo is upset? its a lot lmao

A/N: We are taking an interesting turn in the story lmao. Per usual we are thanking the moots bc they listen to me rattle ideas off constantly and keep me sane while I stress myself out lmao @saiiidahyunee @nr1chaedickrider @miinatozakiii and @neoplatinum. <3 I also did not proof read this one as much as the others bc I don't have as much time on my hands now, so sorry if it seems a little off but thank you for reading either way<33

--

“Mina?” perplexed immediately at the idea of the quietest person you were acquainted with calling you, especially at a time where you were completely overwhelmed. 

“Momo told me what happened and I asked for your number… I hope that's okay.” She's so soft spoken it almost shocks you to hear her say this many words at once.

Slowly coming to a halt at a red light while putting your phone on speaker and replying “Yes, that’s totally okay…uhm, sorry, I’m…a little all over the place right now.” mind flashing back to the struggle of processing what possessed you to let your guard down around Nayeon…again.

This was the first real conversation you were having with Mina, always around each other but saying few words, with the exception being pleasantries and small conversations about video games that had just been released or what lego sets she was currently building. 

There was a comfort there, an almost silent respect for who and how she was. Calm, quiet, collected in the face of new company. Shying away from conversation but always aware of everyone around her. 

The members of Twice, especially Momo, always teased her about being so silent. It was always in good fun, but there were a few times you stepped in to tell her to lay off Mina and to respect that she was on the quieter side instead of pushing her to the point of speaking when she didn’t want to. 

It’s almost like she can hear the hesitancy in your voice and your eyes searching around you as you try to figure out what to say to break the awkwardness that was brewing. You weren’t exactly in a stable mindset at the moment, for multiple reasons and weren’t exactly sure what the phone call was for. 

“I know we don’t really know each other too well but…uhm, I know we have some common interests and that you could probably use a friend right now…so I figured I would call and see if you wanted to get a coffee or something…or maybe just sit on the couch and play videogames or…  something.” half way stumbling through the sentence, showing a little nervousness as she spoke. 

Myoui Mina wants to hang out? The same Mina who barely speaks up during group activities, is asking to spend time with you? Not that you would oppose her company but it seems so out of character for this to be happening. 

“That sounds…really nice. I’d love to. Would you…want to text me your schedule for the next week or two and we can plan it from there?” Smiling back at her through the speaker attempting to hide the disbelief that overshadowed most of your other feelings.

“Sounds good, I’ll text you.” sounding a little panicked, she hangs up as quickly as she calls.

She was right, with you two having a few hobbies in common, it was unfortunate that you hadn’t hung out before. Nayeon was always so “protective” over you that there were certain members she wouldn’t let you hang out with alone. Jihyo, for obvious reasons, Sana, and Mina.

 You didn’t pretend that you understood why she was so adamant on you not hanging out with Sana alone until now. Hindsight is 20/20 and Nayeon was worried that you would find comfort in the arms of someone else the same way she did. The puzzle suddenly solved, the behavior that you used to view as protective, now unmasking itself to divulge its true form. Control.

 You were simply a bragging right to Nayeon and nothing else. “Look how amazing she is, that she did this for me.” always bragging about you to her members, especially when Jihyo was there. Motive is only clear now, as you unfold the intricate details and analyze her behavior from your memories. 

Possessive, controlling, and selfish. The behavior she showed you was very well disguised but small moments reveal the truth. Her covertness was easily picked apart now that you were close to having all the information when a loud horn blares from behind you. Looking up to a Green light, hitting the gas pedal quickly as you continue on the way home, trying not to get too wrapped up in your head. 

Your phone starts vibrating again, being sure to check the name before you answer this time. Momo’s name lights up on the screen, “Speaking of the devil” huffing because you wanted to sort out this wearisome information you were pulling apart in your mind. Deep breath as you slide to answer the call.

“Hey Momoring, what’s up?” Putting on a cheerful sound in a bid to drown out the overstimulation you were experiencing, but Momo could always see right through you, being one of the people who knew you best. 

“Y/n, where are you??” sounding a little baffled, and reflecting concern as she spoke.

“Uhm…” leaning forward to catch one of the passing street signs.

“Passing 72nd about to get on the highway…is everything okay?” showing worry for the way she spoke, wondering if you should change routes and go to Momo’s instead of home. 

“I’m fine but I’m coming over.”  hearing the car door slam, keys jingling, and the ignition start over the speaker. 

“Let yourself in if you get there before me.” squinting as you reply, wondering if there are any visible marks on your skin or how disheveled you look, Momo would be sure to notice and say something. 

“Perfect, I’ll see you soon.” Momo curiously laughed as the call ended which got you wondering why she was rushing over to your place as you merge onto the highway. 

Driving on the highway at this time of day was easier than anticipated. Allowing you to get lost in your head as you continued on the path to home. Flashes of Nayeon underneath you rewind in your head, disgusted by your actions and stirring in your seat, revealing your sweater sticking to your back.

More flashes of her scraping roughly down your back as you attack her neck with your teeth, grazing them along her throat lightly, pinning her to the mattress, fucking her face and then just leaving afterwards. Using her as an allegory for taking back your freewill that you didn’t know you were missing. 

__

The new apartment was brighter and warmer than the last, welcoming you back home when stepping through the door. The living room to the left and the kitchen straight forward, you happily look at the space you’ve decorated for yourself. 

Most of the colors were different shades of gray. Black and white accents with hints of green displaced here and there, mostly by the plants you purchased wanting to have some semblance of life in the rooms, Nayeon never watered the plants so they always died but you were determined to integrate the things you once loved back into your life. 

Two matching gray couches lay diagonally from each other with a long black coffee table filling out the space in between, your favorite bamboo candle in the middle of the table, a tv remote, and a few books scattered around the table, illuminated by the fireplace to the right of the seating arrangements.

 A large flat screen mounted on the wall and a credenza underneath, holding the gaming consoles you bought for yourself when you moved in.

Nayeon was never one for video games and did everything in her power to keep you from playing them, even on your phone. Always distracting you when you were in the middle of a match, always standing in front of the TV in something lacey. Sliding her hand down the front of your pants while kissing your neck, as you tried to play your handheld. 

Not minding it too much at first, she has an extensive lingerie collection and you loved to admire her in all of them, but all of your own hobbies got pushed to the side as time went on. A tactic to control that you didn’t recognize sooner.  

Momo was already on your new couch, making herself at home when you arrived, walking straight to the living room and placing your collection of things down on the coffee table loudly, glaring at her like you had just seen war.  

Looking up at you from her phone, she audibly gasps at the state of you. Hair completely tousled, tired eyes, light marks all over your neck, and your sweater on backwards. Mess was a really nice way to put it.

“I know what you did!” shrieked out of Momo's mouth while you’re turning beet red and fidgeting with your sleeves silently. Puckering your lips and trying to escape the awkwardness you feel as she gawks at you openly, despite your embarrassment.

“You look so red right now! I didn’t know if I believed Jihyo when she told me what happened but now I can safely say she was telling the truth” belly laughing at the idea of Hyo getting a taste of her own medicine and Nayeon being exactly who she showed herself to be. 

“What did you just say? You talked to Jihyo?! It only took me like 10 minutes to get home and she’s calling people about it?!” surprised at how quickly the news traveled through the grapevine, wondering who else she called to tell. 

“A pissed off Jihyo works fast. Told me that she walked into Nayeon’s apartment with you leaving, neck covered in marks” pointing at your neck, tongue between her teeth as she bites back a laugh, “and Nayeon, naked in the bed absolutely covered in bruises. Hyo said that she could barely get her talk…I take it you put in some work, no?” Poking fun at you while she laughed so hard she slaps her knee.

Hands flying to cover the unease on your face while collapsing into the couch adjacent to the one Momo was on, belly first, letting out a long whine. This was going to be a big deal and what were the rest of the members going to be told when you stop showing up to functions with Nayeon? Would Nayeon tell them the whole truth or just that you weren’t together?

Hating the idea of what you said to Jihyo when you left the apartment, knowing it was out of anger and halfway wanting to apologize for your actions but brushing that feeling off quickly. Needing to solely focus on yourself instead of trying to make anyone else feel better. Heavily empathizing with what Hyo might be feeling currently.  

“Wait, so this just happened…like less than an hour ago?” quizzically asking like Momo didn’t already know the answer just to bring you back from whatever was going on in your head.

“Less than that actually” muffled by the couch and your hands while you spiral into an entire inner monologue about why, when you feel like it should’ve never happened, letting out a sigh and showing signs of stress.

“Jihyo is absolutely the angriest I’ve ever heard her, it’s kind of funny to know karma is almost instant for her. She did mention that she wanted to talk to you and asked if I had heard from you…I told her no but she didn’t believe me.” Momo interrupts herself to change the topic of Jihyo in all of this back to you.

 “I mean…what happened anyway? You were anti-nayeon for the last few weeks, did something change or?” questioning your motive as she sees you distressed.

“Oh I know she’s mad and I don’t know, - I just went back to get the rest of my stuff and she was following me around the house,” sitting up and leaning back trying to relax. Stinging on your back, another reminder of the story being told, as you move trying to get comfortable while halfway wincing. Momo cocking her head to the side as you suck air between your teeth

“What was that?” 

Eyes widen for a second, “Nothing!” expeditiously spoken.

“She fucked your back up again, didn’t she?” Half laughing again as you attempt to continue what you were saying. 

“Anyways, she said she wanted to talk so I turned around and she just looked me in my eyes and kissed me…I didn’t really know what to do because I mean-” scooching to the edge of the couch and putting your elbows on your knees and holding your chin as your eyes dampen.

“It’s Nayeon…I know I shouldn’t care, and I’m trying not to but even if the last 3 years weren’t real for her…” choking on your words as they come out unfiltered. “It was real for me.”

More tears falling, this was a mistake. Reopening the wounds that were still healing as you sat with yourself, taking in the knowledge that people were upset with the choices you made didn’t sit well, even if those people were involved in hurting you.

Sad eyes sitting on the couch diagonal to you, realizing that intentions weren’t to hurt anyone else, as she watched. Momo wished she knew what to do in the face of this or knew what to say to comfort you, there was a feeling of sorrow in her, a space held for her best friend’s troubles. 

“Jihyo also said that you had something interesting to say to her before you left” smirking and biting her lips, trying to suppress a smile. Bringing it up knowing it would make you laugh and momentarily forget the anguish you were almost drowning yourself in.

“Oh, did she?” replying with a snarky tone, unable to remember most of the encounter with Jihyo due to adrenaline, being angry with Jihyo for sleeping with your girlfriend behind your back, and wanting to get the fuck out of there before Nayeon could try to talk to you again. 

“I don’t really think she will be much use to you tonight but you can try and, oh, I hope you like the way I taste.” Momo shouted back at you, cackling as she held her stomach leaning as far back into the couch as she could, pulling the sides of your mouth up as she continued.

“That is so out of pocket, but honestly, hilarious!” bellowing out at you as you start to giggle at the statement made, knowing that she was trying to make light of the situation but also appreciating that you said something so petty. 

Originally feeling bad for saying anything, jaw tightening for a second as  “An eye for an eye” wasn’t normally something you believed in and it wasn't really your plan to go and sleep with Nayeon, it kind of just happened. 

“Hey, is it okay if Dahyun comes here after her schedule? She apparently got that call from Jihyo too.” 

“Of course, you don’t even have to ask!”

A phone clattering against the table as it interrupted your conversation, vibrating twice before stopping. Reaching for it to see an unfamiliar number on your screen and a list of times and dates, a schedule? Mina’s schedule.

“Hey, I forgot to mention, Mina called me today” nonchalantly mumbled to Momo over the tv show she had put on in the background. 

Gasping loudly, sliding her fingers through her hair, eyes bewildered while leaning closer, “She CALLED…you?” comes out of her mouth so quickly, surprised your ears could even break down what she said. 

“Yeah, weren’t you the one who gave her my number?” a little disoriented by the response, as if she was surprised Mina contacted you at all. 

“She doesn’t even call me and I’ve known her for a decade.” astonished that her adopted younger sister would reach out through a phone call and not a text… 

“We are going to hang out sometime soon. She just sent me her schedule so we could plan it.” looking back at your phone to “heart” the text Mina sent and replying for the following day in the early afternoon, making sure to save her phone number in your phone with a little penguin emoji.

“Mina is going to leave the house?” stunned as you spoke about your future plans with Momo’s favorite homebody. 

“I take it she doesn’t do that often either?” chuckling back at Momo while you open a delivery app on your phone and choosing a restaurant with a low delivery time. 

“I’m hungry, what do you want from the Thai place down the street?” asking as Momo grabs your phone to put her order in it.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re hungry after the evening you had!” teasingly from behind the phone as she finishes adding her meal to the cart, and handing it back to you.”

“Momo!”

__

Waking up anxious on the day that you and Mina were going to get coffee was not a great start, barely any sleep in your eyes with your hands shaking, rolling out of your bed around 10:30am. Grabbing your phone, you head to the living room without changing out of your PJs and plopping down on the couch. 

Turning on the TV and opening your phone to text Mina. 

Y/N: Hey Mina! I woke up a little anxious this morning and I know we have plans today. Would it be okay if you just came to my apartment instead of us going out? 10:34am

Y/N: Maybe we can have a gaming day or something? 10:35am

🐧: Sounds good to me. Send me the address whenever you’re ready for me to head over. 10:37am

🐧: Sorry you are feeling anxious. 10:38am

About 2 hours later, after showering and cleaning up the space a little bit, you sent Mina your address. Wearing something cozy but presentable, wanting to make a semi-decent impression as this was the first time you were hanging out with Mina alone. 

A small knock can be heard on the door, quickly walking over and opening it to reveal the small frame of Mina, backpack on, two coffees in her hands and a very shy look on her face. 

“I know you said you were anxious and coffee probably isn’t the solution for that but I figured I’d grab you one just in case you did want some.” softly explaining the two coffees before hellos can be said. 

“Come on in, make yourself at home and thank you! I’d love some coffee” as she hands you the cup and you take a sip. It’s exactly what you normally order. Just enough sugar to counteract the bitterness and a splash of cream. 

Whipping your head to face her quickly, “how did you know my order?” happily confused as you gulp a few times and head for the living room with her gracefully following, after sliding her shoes off. 

“I asked Momo this morning when you texted me. I’ve seen you drink coffee a few times when you were coming to hang out with us. I was worried you’d get a caffeine headache if you didn’t have some…” mumbled as you picked your spots on the couch, and turned on your console.

“It’s so sweet that you would think of me like that, Mina, Thank you.” genuinely surprised by the act of kindness. Someone you hardly knew went out of the way for you and that warmed you more than you anticipated. 

Mina’s ears went red while you thanked her for the coffee. Embarrassed and feeling like she came on a little too strongly, before you mentioned you thought it was sweet. Fidgeting with her hands, walls down for a second, a gummy smile let out from her as she sifts through your list of games, choosing a fighting game.

Astounded by how good Mina was at the game, you tipped your fake hat in her direction. She let you win a few times before really showing you how good she was, getting more competitive each round you played. 

Putting on a random movie and switching to handheld games on the switch you could play together, both of you sat for hours and talked about life, getting to know each other a little bit more. It was nice to spend time with someone and not have to talk about Nayeon. 

There was a familiarity with Mina, something unexplainable about her presence that made her so calming. Hoping that you might ignite a similar comfort in her, the anxiety no longer sat in your chest as you got to know her more. 

Learning a lot about her as she spoke of her family, life back in Japan before she was an idol, about how when her, Momo, and Sana went back for the Misamo debut, they went to her family's home and she got to eat her mom’s home cooked meals. Making mental notes of what her favorite dishes were and how she spoke so lovingly about the people she held near and dear to her. 

“So, Y/N, I’m getting a little hungry, do you want to go out to get something or would you rather order it here?” The body language she was exhibiting was interesting, half closed half open. Arms lay in her lap by her switch but her legs were tightly locked. Was she comfortable here? Did she feel nervous about opening up so quickly?

“Why don’t we go out?” Suggesting while standing up, fixing your sweat pants. Maybe she just needs a little fresh air so she can relax. Suddenly feeling the need to calm her the way she eased you out of your anxiety unknowingly. 

“Sounds good, there’s a new cafe around the corner, it’s a locally owned place. I think they serve Japanese food. Would you want to try that?” 

“That sounds great, actually. I’d love to, especially after you talked about your mom’s cooking.” Her expression thrilled as she ran to put her shoes on, doing a little happy wiggle as she waited for you by the door. 

You can’t help but chuckle at her. A glint of warmth refracting in your soul.

– 

The cafe was only a block away and it was a nice afternoon so you walked side by side, making sure that you were the one closest to the street. Taking in the scenery of the new neighborhood, little shops lining the road around you from markets to touristy stores, hands unintentionally brushing each other. 

“These shops seem cool, maybe we should come back another day and explore them.” Looking over at Mina as you speak, trying to pretend like your heart didn’t combust when your hands touched. The comment catches her off guard, shying into herself as you make the suggestion. 

“I’d love that” whispered back to you. That means there will be a next time and that sparks joy in you. 

Arriving at the cafe and getting a small table outside, ordering a bottle of Sake before ordering food. 

“Can I order for you?” Mina asks, shifting her eyes from the menu, this was a test. It was written all over her face as she studied your reaction. 

Squinting at her with a smile on your face, “if you’re up for the challenge,” biting back playfully. The second gummy slime shines off of her as she laughs at your terrible joke. “I think I’m up for the challenge.” competitively stated back with the corners of her mouth turned up. 

Leaning into the menu, reading it line by line as she zeros her focus in. Watching the way the wheels spun in her head as you see her fold the menu and put it on the table, softly smiling back at you with a sense of accomplishment.

The waitress scurried over with the tokkuri and ochoko set, the ceramic vessel was bulbous indenting at the neck and expanding back out again while the smaller cups had a golden brown rim with a gray-ish green hue, sitting on the tray neatly. 

“Alright, and here is the sake. Are we ready to order our food yet or do we need a little more time?” placing the rigged craft in front of you, and the smaller cups in front of each of you as her eyes flashed between the two of you to see who will speak up first. . 

“Yes. We are ready to order.” Calmly said as the dialect switched. Blinking a few times at Mina while she ordered completely in Japanese to the waitress, pointing at the menu and speaking with her hands. Nodding her head at the response from the waitress as she handed her the menus and turning her attention back to you. 

Gracefully grabbing the vessel with one hand, pouring your glass and another smooth movement, handing it to you as she placed the craft down on the small table. 

“You really wanted dinner to be a surprise, huh?” Playfully before sipping the sake politely and placing it down on the table.

 Picking up the tokkuri and trying to pour her a glass with as much class as she did, but failing when you looked up at her. Getting lost in her features as she watched you. “Was she always so…effervescent? High cheekbones, sharp eyes and a softness that was infectious an-“ Realizing you were still pouring, you abruptly stop almost spilling sake everywhere. Handed her the ochoko sheepishly after you had filled it a little too full. 

“Maybe.” peeking up at you through her bangs as she took a small drink, chasing it with a smile and a giggle, covering her mouth with her hand that was sleeve clad, and turning red as her cheeks raised up.

 Did she notice how you were looking at her? Oh god, I hope I didn’t just make things weird. A moment of panic in your body nags at you as she beams in front of you. Wow…she’s so pretty. Half mesmerized, half alarmed at your thoughts, your leg starts bouncing and fidgeting with your hands becomes your fixation, as they lay on the small metal table in front of you. 

Lost in thought as you try to push away the unwelcome intrusion of nervousness, when a small velvet hand reaches out and gently places itself on the anxious tick that’s visible. Your heart skips. Eyes locking as you peer up at her, stopping in your tracks. A chill runs through your body as you take in the pureness diffusing the unease like the rain washing away blood stains on the battleground of your mind. How did she do that?

Internally realizing that you might have a slight attraction to the person you’ve just begun to hang out with, you’re slightly panicked by the idea of getting close to someone again so soon after Nayeon. Unfortunately, this realization played out on your face softly enough for the person accompanying you to dinner to notice. 

“I’m sorry” uttered quickly as she pulled her hands away, moving your hands into your lap at the same moment.  “I didn’t ask you if you were a physical touch person, I should have.” Mina is looking down now, seemingly worried that she crossed a line she wasn’t supposed to. 

“No no- it’s fine, really. I do like physical touch…I’m just not used to it from anyone except for Nay-“ interrupted by the waitress bringing out your dinner. Slicing through the moment as she placed two similar dishes in front of both of you. Tonkotsu ramen topped with shiitake mushrooms, bean sprouts, bok choy, bamboo shoots, double the chashu, and a soft-boiled egg that’s split in half, golden yolk spilling into the array of rich colors.

Stunned as you look at the delicious meal in front of you, “Wow, this looks amazing! Did you get the same thing?” questioning as you finish off the last of the sake in your cup. 

Mina notices and immediately fills it again with a soft smile. “Almost the same thing, I remembered you don’t care for the fish cakes so I had them swap my chashu with them.” followed by her finishing off her sake to keep up with you.

Pouring of the drink for her, this time focusing as hard as your brain would allow so you could get it just right under the eyes studying your movements. “You knew that?” amazed that Mina remembered such a small detail about you.

“Yes! You came to the studio one day with Nay-…” hesitating to say her name as she knows the wound is still fresh but attempting to cover it with a drink from her glass, “Her, and we all ordered from a place similar to this one and I remember you said you didn’t like the texture.” 

Baffled was an understatement. Not only did this borderline stranger call you to check in and ask if you wanted to hang out, but she asked her friend what your coffee order was AND she remembered something that was such a small comment…

“It’s really sweet that you remember that, Mina.” both of you blushing as you continue to make small talk while finishing the meal. 

Table cleared and on your second bottle of sake, Mina finally is brave enough to ask about what happened between you and Nayeon. 

“Hey, Y/n? I know it’s probably a sensitive topic…but what happened between you and Nayeon? Momo told me that you broke up but she didn’t really mention why…” Alcohol gave her the confidence to ask the question you knew was coming all night. 

“Well..” hesitating to respond, not really knowing the answer. You knew what happened, but not why it happened. Mina could see the soft sadness on your face as you contemplated how to answer her.

“Long story short, she cheated on me. The entire time.” Mina eyes widened, mouth ajar, completely in shock and frozen at what you just said. 

“Oh my gosh, y/n”…I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling,” reaching her hand out to place it on your forearm, rubbing her thumb against the softness of your sweater as she made sympathetic eyes at you. Feeling sorry for what you’d been through, what this meant for you. 

It was as if the goddess fell from the sky as she laid her hands on you. Physical manifestations of feelings developing as your heart pounded, breath quickened, and getting a little shaky. The sun beams through your veins as you feel the beams radiating off your face, a similar look on Mina’s. 

“I didn't tell you the worst part.” Softly while she’s still caressing your arm. “It was the entire time we were together, they tried to cover it too.” Confusion, anger, sympathy mixed together into the melting pot that was Mina’s heart. 

You didn’t expect her to be so emotionally available for you. Reserved was her middle name, why was she so open to physical touch with you? Ordering for you? Wondering if she was also feeling the fire that was kindling between the two of you.

“They?” Concerned tone wrapped around you tightly. It was almost…possessive. Body reacts by constricting your thighs together, you might like the possessive tendency a little too much.  

“Nayeon and…Jihyo, actually” 

Mina's face contorts into anger upon hearing the culprits names, hand still on your arm lightly squeezing now. Eyes wet with disappointment as she tries to hold back tears and comprehend how they could do that…to you of all people.

“I’m so sorry, my love.” Said so smoothly as if it’s always been what she called you. Pain sits behind her eyes, as she continues on “I can’t believe they would do that to you. You deserve so much better.”

Half wincing at her words, realizing they’re sprinkled with care that you weren’t used to, a sense of sorrow washes over you as you come to terms with your past relationship not being as healthy as you thought it was.  

“You do know that…right?” head tilted at the question even if she already knows the answer. 

“I don’t know anymore. This whole thing has been so life altering for me, it’s hard to have all these big feelings of love and anger at the same time.” speaking so candidly about the emotions you were experiencing, opening up to Mina about your internal monologue.

Continuing to drink the bottle of sake as the wind picked up a little, causing it to become slightly chillier. It was early November, so it was on the colder side. Shivering as you sat in the breeze, sun setting with golden hour brushing the scene around you and accentuating the beautiful brush strokes that composed the woman in front of you. 

The bangs sitting a little lower than her eyebrows that were perfectly shaped, long waves more breathtaking than an angry sea extending far down past her shoulders to her waist, glowing skin that made her look like the embodiment of light, you can’t help but fixate your eyes on her and you’re a little too intoxicated to care if she catches you. 

Standing up and stretching to go and pay the bill, Mina snatches it out of your hand and runs inside, beating you to it. Giggling a little harder than you should, when a small black compact car that was too familiar pulled up to the front of the cafe and parked. 

Before you could even realize why the car was familiar, two women stepped out and stopped dead in her their tracks. Im Nayeon and Park Jihyo. 

Jihyo looks like she's been crying, eyes swollen, lip still quivering as she stood next to Nayeon, who still completely covered in the imprint of your teeth and lips, clinging to her arm. Standing in silence, as the air stretches taut. 

“Why haven’t you answered my text messages?” Nayeon abruptly breaks the tension. Jihyo’s eyes widen as Nayeon crosses her arms and taps her foot angrily waiting for an answer. She really was going to do this right here and now. She always lacked patience, this was a perfect example of that.

“I don’t want to.” flowing from your lips with a sour face like you completely forgot what happened the evening before, sake getting to you as you retort with malice. “Maybe you should take the hint and stop trying” 

Scoffing at the comment, Nayeon shakes Jihyo off of her and walks up to you slowly while swaying her hips, like she always did at you when she was trying to get you to do what she wanted. Reaching you and placing her elbows on your shoulders as she twirls the hair cascading down your back. Skin burning under the weight of her touch, making you panic almost immediately. The disgust from before had returned in full force and it displayed on your face while she spoke. 

“Come on, baby. Don’t be like that.” hand now sweeping a piece of hair out of your face, looking up at you with those big doe eyes “I know you miss me, just come home. I’m sorry you are hurting from what I did. I’ve been punished enough.” repulsed by the pet names and the attempts to win you over again. 

Jihyo is uncomfortably shifting, sorrow now covered in jealousy as her lover tries to win back what was viewed as hers. Green was a lovely color on her but to wear it on her face the way she did, with no remorse, was a bold statement. 

“Nayeon, I don’t want to do this with you in front of your girlfriend,” making air quotes as you say the word, “or at all really. So forget I exist and we can both just move on.” Attempting to move out of her grasp as she took in your words, not liking the reaction she was getting, she grabbed your wrist to stop you from leaving.  

“So after 3 years, you’re really just going to leave me?” Slightly panicked, realizing you actually weren’t falling for her tricks anymore. 

“Yes.” Stoically cascading and washing over Nayeon, rinsing away the confidence to reveal crossness and a hint of fear, while shaking her grip loose from your wrist. 

“So none of it meant anything to you?” small drops of irritation on her tongue, thick like honey, while she studies your lack of want or care for her. Strikingly different from the person she used to know very well, never being met with walls built so carefully around you before. 

“I think that’s actually your stance on it” spit back with malice from the guard tower at the top of the castle you built around yourself to keep her out.

“You know what y/n, if you think that you can just come into our house and fu-“ shock runs through her as she sees a figure stepping out of the cafe. The shadows hand reach up to link with yours, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“Are you ready to go, my love?” Mina’s voice was a little louder than normal so both parties could hear after finding you in this tense moment. Her stance is defensive as she knowingly pokes the bear. 

Jihyo and Nayeon are both completely gobsmacked by Mina not only being out of the house, but also by being with you. Hand in hand.

 “My love????” Nayeon scoffed, tears building when she had an idea. “You can’t be serious right now, y/n. After last night, are you on a date with Mina? A member of my group? Do you not have your own friends to filter through? Did I not satiate you enough? …Maybe we should’ve gone one more round.” craftily leaving her mouth as she tries to cause discourse between what she thinks is a date…was it a date?

Jihyo doesn’t even try to step in or say anything, she just gets back into the car looking like her tears are about to fall again from being cast aside by the likes of you. Nayeon doesn’t even flinch at the sound of the car door, waiting for you to panic under the weight of the information just given to Mina. 

Mina snaps back boldly  “don’t worry, I’ll take care of her from now since you can’t satiate her, apparently.” Winking back at Nayeon while leading you down the road, back to your house, hands still together and Mina unphased. A small smirk appears on your face as you try not to laugh, not even needing to look at Nayeon's face to know that she was completely shocked by the comments made by Mina. 

Nayeon tried to follow the two of you as you repressed laughter, shouting to try to get your attention again “Y/n! I can’t believe you right now! After everything we’ve been through? And Mina, you bitch! I can’t believe you wou-” 

“Nayeon, get in the fucking car.” Jihyo grimaced while pulling the car up as she saw people starting to stare at the commotion. Nayeon rolled her eyes and got in. This wasn’t over yet, and everyone knew it.

–

Mina picks up her pace, giggling and tugging you behind her as she tries to get away from the disturbance plaguing you both. “I’ve never seen her so mad before, is she always that confrontational with you?” quizzically inquired as you both drunkenly sauntered back to the safety of your apartment. 

“To be honest, I have no idea. This is the first time I’m seeing her react in such a way. She used to be so sweet to me before I found out about…” hesitating to finish the sentence, but Mina knew where you were going with it and just nodded her head. 

“It must be really hard to feel like you don’t know her after all this time. I can’t imagine what that feels like. Someone like you shouldn’t have to deal with that at all.” boldly spoken as you reached your apartment.

“What do you mean by that?” Pressing into what she just said. “Someone like me?” 

“The betrayal she put you through is ju-“ starting as she catches your eyes while you squeeze her hand.

“Mina, no, what did you mean by someone like me?” looking up at her with a sheepish smile as you unlock the door and step inside, hands still locked and still feeling the effects of the sake as you both waltz into the living room and find your spots on the couch, this time a little closer than before.

“…I-“ alcohol fighting her logic, letting go of your hand as she whispers a honey laced memory into the quiet room while curling into herself, showing the shy nature again. 

“Do you remember when we first met? You went out of your way to talk to me, even if the other girls were trying to pull your attention. You even asked me about things you knew I liked to get to know me a little better and paid attention when I answered and the kindness you showed to all of us, even if some of us were a little apprehensive or even defensive…and then seeing the way you were with…her. I was astounded at the level of compassion and care that you gave to her, and to know what she did to you makes me view her very differently.” afraid to look you in the eyes as she opened up her chest, showing you a vulnerability that you’d never thought to see from her. 

“I knew how important you all are to her. I wanted to make sure we all bonded because I thought…she was going to be the person I ended up with. Even if she isn’t, I’m glad it happened because she gave me Momo and now you. I feel like you were a sign from God” Grinning back at her, blush spreading through her cheeks as she smiled brightly back at you. 

Both of you still feel the effects of the sake as you throw a random movie on to relax and unwind. Sitting so close together on the large couch that your arms are brushing against each other. She lifted the arm that was touching yours and placed it around your back and on your waist, you leaned into her and comfortably you both laid down, intertwined in each other. 

Your head on her shoulder as she lays in her back, arm wrapped around your waist drawing small patterns with her fingers. One of your hands lightly placed where her ribs connect and legs intertwined as you slowly drifted into the most comfortable nap you’ve had in months. 

—

Everything was pitch black. Eyes shifting in and out of darkness as you try to calibrate to your surroundings. A small metal table sits in the distance, the only thing that is illuminated and you can make 2 figures sitting around it, it looks like they’re talking but you can’t be sure. 

Walking as quickly as you can through the shadows approaching the table, you try to shout out to them but nothing comes out. Reaching up to your throat, you hold it while you try to scream. Feeling the vibrations through your hands but not a single sound cuts through the air. 

As you get closer to the figures, their details are revealed to you slowly. Shoulder length light brown hair facing the woman with long dark wavy hair. “Nayeon? Mina??” mouth trying to spit the words your lungs can’t bear to speak when Nayeon slowly turns her head to you, and says “oh, Y/n it’s about time you joined us” voice contorting, almost as if it’s overlapped by another. You’re forced to your knees by something you cannot see, and immediately smell sulfur, as Nayeon lifts your chin with one finger. 

She stares into your soul, eyes completely black, as her face starts contorting and twisting, dripping off her skull. Wincing and looking at Mina to see her smiling back at you, illuminated in light.

 A sense of calm washing over you, only for a second when you feel your mouth fill with blood. Still on your knees, you spit out what’s flavoring your mouth and all of your teeth come with it. Screaming in silence as you watch Nayeon get up and stand above you, grabbing your neck with both hands tightening as she holds you over a cliff edge, storm crashing around you and hisses in the distorted voice “you’ll always be mine.” Dropping you straight down into the ocean, you try to regulate yourself and swim up but it’s pitch black, swimming until you choke on water and snap awake startling Mina who was silently sleeping underneath you. 

Hyperventilating heavily as you try to shake off the feeling of the dream, crying as you shake. Mina is immediately by your side, wrapping her arms around you and comforting you. 

“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe with me. Don’t worry, I’ve got you” as she rubs your back in a circular motion to try and regulate your breathing. 

Your sweater feels very constricting as a thin layer of sweat covers you, you part from Mina and start pacing as you take the hoodie off leaving you in a sports bra. Following your movements with her eyes, as you walk around aimlessly, tears falling as you try to breathe. 

Mina stands up and catches you by the wrist and pulls you into her, comforting you with a hug. “You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” 

Body unclenching as she spoke and held you close to her. A warm surge of calm pumped through your veins as you sniffled, pressing your face into her neck. 

Pulling back to look at her, you can see the concern mixed with something else in her eyes. Something you’d never seen before. Your faces are close enough to feel each other's breath as she looks into your eyes and then down at your lips, your eyes following the same motion. 

Leaning in closer, lips brushing against each other before fully committing, you both shyly decide this is the path your friendship is taking. Her arms slide from your lower back to your hips slowly, pressing her fingers into your hips and pulling you towards her as your mouths find each other. 

Her lips so soft, tasting of the alcohol you consumed and the tension that had been building all day. Her flavor was the taste of the divine, effervescently consuming you as she coded your flesh and bones with her scriptures.

Slow and passionate, at first, slowly picking up pace. Hands exploring each other's bodies as you familiarize yourself with the sounds she makes when you tangle your fingers in her hair. She takes control, which is something you never let happen, but it’s different with her. You actually feel safe with her. 

Mina grabs your waist again and pushes you down on the couch, keeping your lips connected and she swipes her tongue across your bottom lip asking for entrance, given without hesitation. Her hands leave your waist as her mouth travels to your neck, biting down lightly as you whine into the silence of the room. She stands and removes her sweater, revealing a sports bra and her well toned abs, igniting a fire within you. 

Kneeling between your legs, reaching for you to get you closer to her, pulling your body as close as it would get to her. Kissing picking up again, as you feel her wrap her arms around you, toying with the clip of your bra as she threatens to undo it. 

“Is this okay?” asking softly as she scatters soft sweet kisses across your face. You nod your head yes but before she can undo the clip, a loud crashing startles both of you.

“What was that?” Mina spoke up, obviously bothered by the interruption but also concerned as it sounded very close. 

“I’m not sure” you were still focused on her before she got up and turned around, heading towards the front door to see what was going on. 

“Y/n, you’re going to want to see this.” Mina says with a tone of worry. You run over to her to find a rock with a note tied around it shattered through the glass window next to your door.  

“I’m going to call the police, please be careful, the glass is everywhere.” running to the living room to get her phone, and you stand there shirtless looking at the crime scene. Wondering how she found you, if she followed you back from the dinner you had with Mina. 

Stepping carefully around the shattered sharpness scattered across the entrance way, you reach over to the note and slightly open it, gasping at the contents loud enough for Mina to hear from the other room. 

“She’s mine” scrawled on it, in a familiar red ink. 

Take Me Back To Eden - The Apparition - Part 5.5

[azelmawrites]

FX-991 Love// CH. 5

Summary: While playing with your sister’s kids you suddenly remember you have an assignment due in less than 2 hours, and you’re in desperate need of a calculator so you borrow one from your sister’s hot neighbor. From there, unexpected romance blossoms.

Warnings: fem!reader, they/them pronouns for Hange, dirty talk, making out.

ch. 1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4

Unfortunately you don’t see Hange on Thursday. So naturally your Friday doesn’t feel the best, besides the fact that you have a study group meeting as it was postponed at the start of the week. Annie and Historia both look like corpses by the time your two hour Physical Chemistry lecture 416 finishes. You know you look equally dead, if not more.

“Do we have time to get coffee before the meeting or no?” you ask, the running water from the faucet almost washing your voice out along with Historia loudly hustling her things inside her beige tote bag.

“Not really, Armin is already waiting there.” Annie answers, looking up from her phone then sighs exasperatedly at Historia. “What the hell are you looking for?”

“My phone!” Historia answers with a whine, “I completely forgot to tell Ymir we have a study group meeting, and very stupidly double booked myself.”

“It’s in your pocket.”

“Your pocket.”

You and Annie answer at the same time. Historia lets out a noise of recognition before she slips out her phone and unlocks it, the typing noise of her phone is louder when you turn off the faucet and snatch a few tissues to dry your hands.

“Oh right, any update with you and your hot neighbor?” Annie asks as you three leave the restroom. You sigh and shake your head, “I told them I can’t see them today, and I didn't see them yesterday either. But we’ve been texting a lot so that is good.”

Annie nods, “It’s okay, you will see them on the weekend.”

“I have to, I desperately need to. I miss them so much.” You say, holding tightly onto the strap of your black tote bag as you rush down the long stairs and finally exiting the chemistry department.

“I would say that you need to tone it down, and play some mind games and all. But, Hange seems like a nice person and their communication skills are top notch, so just tell them you miss them or something.” Annie advises, you grin at her as you link your arm with her.

“I agree with Annie, just let them know how you feel,” Historia says, “also can I just say your relationship is so refreshing? You and Hange are super cute.” she sing-songs the last two words as you feel your face turn hot.

“Wait, we’re meeting at the big library?” Historia suddenly asks, you and Annie hum in agreement at her question. “Let me tell Ymir so she can come, haven’t seen her all morning since I left.”

Once you three exit the science building, you look up at the setting sun and comment, “it’s the evening already? Jesus christ.”

Annie chuckles as Historia snorts. “We’ve been here since eight in the morning, and now in two hours it will officially be twelve hours we spent on campus.” Historia says, Annie opens her mouth to speak but your phone interrupts her, you unlink your arm from hers as you shuffle through your tote bag to find your phone.

When you take it out, both Historia and Annie look at the name flashing on your screen before they exchange looks and wiggle their eyebrows at you.

Your face heats up as you answer the call, and bring your phone to your ear.

“Hi baby,” you greet, feeling your lips stretch in a smile uncontrollably.

“Hi pretty, I missed you like crazy today.” Hange says. Historia leans her ear close to your phone so she can hear, while Annie is laughing and directing you two to the walk to the big library and making sure you don’t trip or bump into anyone.

“I missed you too, how was your day?”

“Like the usual, I’m just excited for tonight, I—”

“Hold on sweetie, the world’s noseiest girl is listening just let me—” then you stop talking to turn and push Historia that is laughing and giggling uncontrollably. You roll your eyes at her as you precede her and Annie to comfortably talk to Hange.

“You were saying?” you ask.

“My plans with Levi, I’m pretty excited about them. So far the plan is to go to a bar and meet up with a few old friends from college.”

“That seems fun, who’s going to be there?” you ask, knowing you are just going to stalk them all later when you go back home to make sure Hange doesn’t have any history with any of the women in the group, if there were to begin with.

“Levi, and his boyfriend Erwin, I told you about him,” you hum in agreement at Hange’s words, “yeah you did, who else?”

“A friend named Mike, he took most of Levi’s classes so that’s how I got to meet him. Moblit and Marlene, they were in my major. It’s been a while since I met them all.”

Your heart drops at the mention of a woman, and you try to play it casually despite your body temperature increasing despite walking into the main library's cold interior.

“Moblit and Marlene were in your major, tell me more about them.”

Annie gestures to the third floor, so you walk to the elevator and click on the button. Annie and Historia stare at your rigid features as you cross your arms over your chest.

“There really isn’t much to be said about them, we don’t even work in the same field. Moblit is a teacher and Marlene is a clinical physicist.” Hange says, when the elevator doors open you enter along with your friends as Annie clicks on the number three button.

“That seems pretty nice.” You answer.

Hange asks you a question, but it cuts as you’re in the elevator, though their voice comes back again when you reach the third floor, “-- so where are you right now and what are you planning to do later? I remember you told me you have a study group tonight.”

You hum in agreement, “well, me and the girls are in the big library to meet up with the rest of the group, it’s just two of our friends who study chemical engineering and we take almost the same subjects as them so…” you trail when you reach the booked meeting room. “It’s room three two five right?” you direct your question to Annie as you remove your phone away from your ear for a little.

“I feel like I should just go home, I’m seriously in desperate need of many things right now.”

Annie and Historia flash you smiles and enter first, you linger by the door to finish up your call with Hange.

“Okay, and what do you desperately need right now?” you laugh at Hange’s question as you look at the floor and stare at the untied shoelaces of your converse shoes.

“Coffee, with a triple shot of espresso and oat milk, oh and vanilla syrup oh and a jacket because I just know this library air conditioning is going to be the death of me, and food and you. I wanna see you so bad.”

“You will, sweetheart!”

“But seriously, don’t even think about me tonight, you enjoy your Friday to the fullest and then report back to me tomorrow morning how fun it was.”

“First I will not noth think about you tonight, it is literally impossible since I was thinking about you all day,” you feel your face growing hot at that, “and second, I will talk to you whenever I can, which is every hour or thirty minutes during the outing.”

When Jean angrily knocks on the glass of the door, you know you need to get inside the room. You wave at him to calm down, then tell Hange, “baby, I need to go, I will talk to you later.”

“Okay sweetie, see you later.”

You end the call and enter the meeting room, “hello Amin, hey Jean.” you greet, and place your things next to Annie.

“I hope I’m not the only one that completely felt like a dumbass in today’s physical chem lecture.” Jean says while Armin acknowledges you with a nod and a smile.

“No because me too, and the professor is so condescending too like when that girl asked him a question he keeps referring to physics one content—” she gets cut by Jean that slaps his palm on the table and complains, “I don’t fucking remember anything from physics one!”

“What about you Armin, did you think it was difficult?” you ask, taking out your laptop from your tote bag and pushing the screen open. The blond looks at Jean and Historia in worry before he answers with a mutter, “I actually quite enjoyed the lecture today—”

“Oh my god, there he goes!” Jean loudly interrupted. Historia only glared at Armin coldly then said, “you piss me off so much.”

“What did I do? The lecture was entertaining and the concepts were just things we learned in physics but are elevated.” Armin tries to defend himself. Jean and Historia just shake their heads at him.

“But when you think about it, Armin doesn’t really enjoy organic chem, he likes calculating and all that so.” You try to defend him back, Historia sighs and flips open her giant physical chemistry textbook.

“Thank you! Finally someone understands my dilemma!” Armin says while pointing at you.

“I actually don’t particularly understand you, what do you mean you don’t like organic? It’s literally the—”

“The easiest branch in chemistry.” Annie and Jean mock you as Historia giggles. You roll your eyes at them, and open your mouth to speak but you’re interrupted by the knocking on the door.

You are sat on a side that doesn’t allow you to see who’s behind the glass, neither is Annie but Historia can. Her face blanches as she turns to stare at you.

The questions you and Annie had for Historia are answered when Hitch walks into the meeting room. She doesn’t seem that much fazed by your presence as you are by hers, which truly bothers you.

“Hitch, you’re finally here.” Jean says, then he says to you all, “I’m sure you all already know who Hitch is, but she got a full mark on the last physical chem quiz so I invited her to teach us.”

“Us?” Annie repeats in surprise, “speak for yourself, sugar tits, I got a full mark too.”

“You and Armin piss me off, seriously.” Historia says as she frowns. Hitch grins and greets you all, “Hi everyone, I hope I’m not imposing.” Then her eyes land on you.

You’re broken out of your trance, and you truly have to remind yourself that you don’t care about her anymore or whatever happened between you two. It was ages ago, and before you met Hange who is truly the love of your life.

Now it may be quick to admit that, but Hange holds a special place in your life and heart.

“Hey Hitch, no you’re okay.” You tell as you smile, then you pull your black tote bag that managed to slip towards the middle and almost the far right of the table. She mutters a thank you, then starts taking out her things.

“So, it goes without a saying we’re gonna start with physical chem today.” Jean says, you and Annie exchange looks as you giggle.

With that, you all turn to stare at Hitch who walks to the rolling whiteboard and picks up a white board marker and turns to look at you all.

“Okay you idiots, first thing first we’re gonna go back to physics one basics and talk a little about the laws of thermodynamics.” As she says that you hear a sigh from Jean and Historia.

—

Not even an hour passes, but your brain is already fried from the amount of equations you had to solve. They humbled you truly, especially when you showed Annie your answer to a question and she had to sigh and point out that you forgot to put a few conversion factors in mind.

You’re not only tired, but you’re a little pissed at your lack of understanding physical chemistry.

Were you born stupid or did you not work hard enough for it? You had no idea, but a series of wrong answers got you holding your head and shivering in your seat despite wearing Annie’s thin cardigan.

“Can we please take a break? I cannot do this anymore, I seriously cannot.” Historia says, resting her head on the table then turning to hit her head on the wooden surface of the table.

“Hiso, don’t do this you’re just going to make yourself dumber than you are—”

“Jean I’m really not in the mood for your stupid jokes, I’m cold and I’m hungry and I need coffee and I want to see my girlfriend and I want to sleep for a million years, so, shut up!” she screams the last two words at Jean.

He raises his palms up defensively, “I was just saying!”

Annie leans across the table and slaps his head, “don’t piss her off, we’ve been here on campus since eight am.”

“Shit, and I just know you idiots were surviving on a cup of iced coffee and a croissant.” Jean says.

“How could you tell?” you ask, then pick up your phone and realize you have had it on Do Not Disturb for a while now.

Jean lays his head on his palm as he watches you. “Well, you three are easily irritable today. I could blame it on the fact that you’ve been here since eight in the morning but, I’ve seen you energetic when running on two hours of sleep.”

Completely ignoring the side conversations as you read the notifications on your phone. A few from your sister and brothers sharing pictures of the family gathering on the family group chat. Then to your sister privately texting you asking you if you took her new white shirt, as you were clad in said shirt.

Finally to a few missed calls of Hange. With a frown, you stand up and call them back as you leave the meeting room.

“Hi sweetie,” Hange greets.

“Hey, my phone was on silent but is everything okay? You called a few times.” You say, playing with the hem of Annie’s cardigan.

“Yeah baby everything is okay, I just wanted to ask you what room you are in the library.” Hange asked. You blinked in shock as you asked, “you’re here?”

“Well yes, I told you I was coming.” Hange answered like it was an obvious thing.

“You did?” you asked in shock, then headed to the metal railing as you stared down at the floors below hoping you would catch sight of Hange.

“Yes baby, I even asked you where you were and you told me the library.” Comes Hange’s answer.

Oh, right when their voices cut while you were in the elevator. “Am I coming at a bad time?” They ask again, unsure.

“No no no, absolutely not, I’m just surprised. That’s all. Oh right, where are you exactly?” you answer, feeling your heart fluttering with excitement at the thought of seeing Hange.

“Well, I remember you mentioned something about room three two five so I’m guessing it's the third floor.”

“Yeah, I’m actually right by the door of the room so—”

“Oh! I think I see you—” you turn around to your left at that, then to your right. Your heart soars with joy when you make eye contact with a smiling Hange. Without wasting a single second you run in their direction as you try your best to quieten your squeals.

You almost jump into their arms, but the sight of the coffee cups and bags they’re holding makes you slow down. Seeing you approaching, they set them on the floor so you run to their arms and embrace them tightly.

“I missed you so much!” you hiss into their ear, as Hange laughs.

Breaking the hug, and not really caring if there are students around, you press kisses all over their face.

“I missed you more, and you look so pretty, is that a new shirt?” Hange notes, holding into the fabric of your shirt. You giggle and admit, “it actually belongs to Fei, I stole it from her.”

“Well she should give it to you, it looks like it was made for you.” Hange says, leaning down and picking up the coffee cups they left on the floor, along with the plastic bags. Hange hands you a labeled coffee, “for you, pretty girl, exactly like how you like it.”

You take the warm coffee cup, then press another kiss to Hange’s cheek as you giggle, “thank you, baby, I appreciate it.”

“Is that your jacket? It’s pretty thin.” Hange comments. Shaking your head as you sip your coffee, “It’s Annie’s.”

“Well, I got you a hoodie because you said you were cold, and some food because you said you were hungry.” Hange says, then gives you the hoodie they were holding. You gladly take it, and kiss them again on their cheek. “You are perfect.” you whisper against their face, then pull away.

“Thanks baby, and just know that you are never going to see this hoodie ever again.” You say, giving Hange your cup to hold it as you take off Annie’s cardigan and slip on the thick black hoodie.

“You got extra coffee for who?” You ask, noting the extra cups.

“Your friends, food too.” They lift the plastic bags.

“Hange you are literally the best.” You say, wrapping your arm around their biceps and resting your head on their side arm. “Do I get a kiss for that too?” Hange asks.

You giggle, and lean to kiss Hange on their cheek once again. “Right, let’s drop off this coffee and food for them and then let’s take a walk together.” You say, then pull Hange to the designated room.

Historia, and Hitch are the first to notice you lingering with Hange by the glass panel on the door. Then you push the door open, “Hange got us coffee and food!”

Jean and Historia cheer in joy as Armin laughs. Annie grins and greets Hange, “Hi, Hange.”

“Hey Annie.” Hange greets back.

You quickly introduce everyone to Hange, and vice versa while distributing the coffee.

“This is Armin and Jean, they’re the ones who major in chemical engineering like I told you—”

Jean cuts you, “and also her friends.” You shrug your shoulders, “unfortunately we are friends.”

Then you hand Hitch her coffee, “this is Hitch, she was Annie’s roommate and she’s also in our major.” Hitch accepts the cup with a polite smile and a nod.

“Right, I think we deserve a break.” You tell everyone as Historia nods, “Yeah, and Ymir is coming in a few so we really do need a break.”

“Alright then, we continue studying after five minutes?” Jean asks, you roll your eyes as you scoff, “make it thirty, princess.”

Jean sighs and he opens his mouth to speak, possibly to argue but Armin motions for you to leave fast as he urges, “you go, we’ll regroup in thirty minutes—I want a break too, I’m sick and tired already.”

You giggle then pull Hange behind with you, but not without Historia shouting behind you, “and remember kids, the best make out spot is behind the dictionaries—” she is cut by a smack and you don’t have to look behind to know who it was, just knowing deep in your heart it is Annie.

When you exit the room, and walk down the hall, you tell Hange, “I’m sorry, they thrive on teasing me.”

“It’s fine,” Hange says with a chuckle, then intertwines their fingers with yours, “we should’ve stayed a bit longer to hear what spot she’s talking about.”

Unable to stop your giggle and your face turning hot, you glance at Hange to find them already looking at you. “That’s all you care about?”

“No, but it’s definitely something I want.”

“Whatever…” you say dragging your R’s and rolling your eyes, unable to find a witty response to Hange’s flirtation. They laugh, then bring your hand up to their lips to press a kiss on the back of your hand and wrist, a shiver runs down your spine as your heart accelerates.

“You are so cute, you know that?” is what they say.

Your heart can’t take it anymore, so you change the topic as your face grows unbearably hot. “Right, you told me you had plans with your friends—what happened to that?”

Hange allows you to steer the conversation, though their smirk at making you reach this stage of shyness exposes their giddiness.

“Levi is driving tonight—he doesn’t drink, so Erwin and I are meeting him up here because he finishes work pretty late. And I decided to just come here to see you, instead of waiting at home and having him pick me up.”

“Oh right, I think he has the general chemistry lab for first years, and it starts pretty late and that’s without counting the hour he has to stay after to help clean up and grade quizzes.” You say, bringing Hange outside to the third floor secret balcony.

Hange steps out after you, taking in the view and nodding appreciatively. “Wow, this is perfect. How did you find this place?”

“Boring story, but I was studying for my first midterm ever here and found it while I was walking around and looking for the vending machine.” You join them at the railing, and as the breeze rustles through your hair, you feel Hange’s arm slip around your waist. “You have no idea how much I missed you,” they murmur, turning their head to look at you.

You smile up at them, feeling the warmth of their body close to yours. “I missed you too.” Hange pulls you in a little closer, their knuckles brushing lightly over your cheek. “You know,” they begin, their voice soft and teasing, “I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on my plans tonight. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You laugh lightly, leaning into their touch. “I don’t think I will be able to focus on studying either.” They grin, then pull you into a kiss, slow and gentle, the world fading away around you as the kiss deepens. The peaceful atmosphere of the balcony only makes the moment feel more intimate.

When the kiss breaks, Hange rests their forehead against yours and smiling softly.

“Right, when are you free for another date?” Hange asks, pulling you to sit on the metal bench, it’s cold against your thighs so you scoot impossibly close to Hange, while still holding onto their bicep and holding your coffee with your other hand and sipping on it, it does the job of warming you up perfectly.

“I definitely will make some time tomorrow, my sister is hosting lunch at her place in celebration of mom’s birthday,” you say and take another sip of your coffee, “so I can definitely sneak to you, or even tell them I have plans and just go to your place, or we can even go out,”

“Oh yeah, your nephew—the older one, told me about that.” Hange comments, you have to stop yourself from giggling as you shake your head, “Kai is really out here telling you things before I can, this is like the second time he did that.”

“Yeah,” Hange chuckles, bringing your free hand and kissing your wrist then resting it against their own to warm it. “He did tell me about you babysitting them last wednesday, and you not really being a good cook but still being a cool aunt.”

“Kai is out here to get me,” you say then sigh, you place your coffee on the bench and take out your phone from your pocket—refusing to let go of Hange’s hand. “Right, tonight they had a family dinner at my eldest brother’s home and they’re all sharing pictures.”

Hange leans close to see your phone clearer, it allows you to take whiffs of their delicious cologne along with their natural scent. The effect it has on you is visceral, and you embarrassingly find yourself growing wet.

“This is the oldest one right?” Hange points at someone on your screen, and it takes a second to load inside your head but you hum in agreement nonetheless. Too distracted by your desire to sit on their lap, rock your hips front and back as you kiss their neck and play with their hair.

When you look at who they’re pointing to, you are glad that the answer you gave wasn’t wrong despite your mind being too preoccupied. It doesn’t even help that flashbacks of that night with Hange keeps showing up in ultra quality at the front of your mind.

Hange is too busy swiping at the photos and commenting here and there, while you are basically eating them with your eyes. They look effortlessly good in a simple black on black outfit and a light unbuttoned denim flannel. You don’t know what it is, or if there’s even reasoning to this feral need you have for Hange but even the watch on their wrist, and their sitting position makes you unbelievably horny.

It’s not the time nor place for that, and you should feel ashamed but you don’t really find any care for now. Especially when you haven’t seen Hange in a while, and you know that it’s a secret place so not many people would stumble here.

Even if they did, you probably wouldn’t see them ever again.

Armored by bravery because of the last reasoning, you unlink your arm with hange and before they could protest you wrap your arms around their neck and bring them down to kiss you, as your legs dangle over their own.

Surprised, but not complaining they pull you to sit on their lap as your kisses travel down their neck, and their hands instinctively grip your waist, pulling you closer. You feel the warmth of their skin beneath your fingertips, and the faint scent of their cologne mixed with something uniquely them sends a shiver down your spine. Hange lets out a soft chuckle, a teasing edge in their voice.

“Well, aren’t you bold today?” they murmur, their breath warm against your ear, making your pulse race even faster. Their hands start to roam, fingers pressing into your sides, and you can feel their breath quickening as they respond to your touch.

You pull back slightly, enough to meet their gaze, eyes clouded with desire and mischief. “You can’t just show up looking like this and expect me to behave.” you say, your nails scratching their scalp and then pulling gently on their hair strands as your body temperature grows hotter.

“Oh yeah? I will look like this more then.”

Moving your hips against Hange’s as their right hand spreads out and travels down your back to take a handful of your ass against your flared jeans. They then pull your curls, making you let out a gasp as your head is pulled to the back and giving them good access to your neck.

Hange kisses your neck and whispers, “fuck I missed hearing you and tasting you.”

They kiss first, then suck and bite on the sensitive batches of your skin, and you can’t help but moan softly. The last thing on your mind is that the shirt you are wearing shows your neck, and you are doomed to get teased endlessly by your friends.

Nothing in this world could’ve pulled you away from each other, even when the distinctive creak of the balcony door opening you find your reactions slow and not really caring if anyone saw you two making out. Neither does Hange, seeing they’re still leaving strawberry kisses there.

You creak one eye open, then with all the strength and force you could muster you push Hange away as you look at who entered the balcony. Though by that time, the intruder had already left.

Knowing that the logical thing for now is to use the mild interruption as a way to stop making out, because if you don’t stop you are anxious that in the heat of your desire you might want to escalate things out in public. You pull away from Hange, as they whine in protest, “why?”

“We must, I have to study and you have plans and if we don’t stop now who knows what might happen,” you say with a sigh, also struggling hard to now continue back to what you started.

“You are a tease, you know that?”

“Baby, I don’t mean to be a tease,” you say, pressing a kiss to Hange’s lips and then standing up as you pull them up with you—and definitely not forgetting your coffee that is on the verge of turning lukewarm.

“I can cancel you know,” Hange suggests, but you shake your head. “No, honey. You haven’t seen your friends in a while, plus I gotta study anyways.”

Your ego is inflated as just a short make out session that you started has this effect on Hange. Willing to cancel a night out with their friends, and even wanting to come over to your place after a long day and a long night.

Pulling Hange towards the door, it creaks open again and you pull them inside to the brightly lit corridors of the library.

“But…I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” They ask, intertwining your fingers.

“Yeah baby, I’ll see you tomorrow, anything you feel like doing tomorrow?” you ask, walking down the many halls to reach the meeting room.

Hange’s voice is unwillingly loud in the middle of the quiet corridor, “besides fucking you? No, not really—” you turn to look at Hange with a scandalized stare, as their shoulders shake with a chuckle at your response.

You roll your eyes and shake your head, “whatever, you have fun on your night. Text me when you get home safe, okay?”

Hange obediently nods, “okay, sweetie.” Then cups your face with their free hand to kiss you just right when you reach the meeting room.

It’s a struggle to let go of their hand, and go back to studying. But when it happens you feel frustration growing in your chest, and just wished that you could spend the whole night with Hange instead of studying.

“See you tomorrow?” Hange affirms one last time, and you grin and nod, “see you tomorrow.” They wait for you to enter the meeting room, and when you do, you notice the eerie silence from all your friends.

Though the mischievous smiles from them kind of concern you. It was very easy to connect the dots, especially seeing Armin’s red ears and so you ask with a sigh, “so which one of you guys was the intruder?”

Ymir and Historia start, “(Y/N) and Hange sitting on a tree—” feeling your face growing unbearably hot, you don’t waste a second to toss Annie’s pencil case right at them to stop them.

[111-prxtty]

Phoebe Spengler x gn!reader

Four times you hugged Phoebe, and first time she hugged you...

Just a quick warning that this was written really late with no proof reading of any kind, so I'm sorry if this makes no sense with tons of spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy xoxo

★

A hug from Phoebe Spengler was rare. She wasn't a very touchy feely person, not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just the polar opposite of you.

Sure there had been a few times throughout yours and Phoebe's friendship when you had some sort of contact but it was usually initiated by you, almost never by her.

1: it was a Sunday, a day when neither of you had anything to do so you watched a movie at hers. It was a slow day, there were no calls about ghosts roaming New York so you thought you had the day together.

Unfortunately they got a call half way through the movie. It didn't sound too serious so Phoebe told you you could wait there and finish the movie without her, as long as you promised to watch it again with her so she could finish it with you, she said she'd be back soon but things didn't exactly go to plan.

Almost an hour after the movie finished they still weren't back, you were checking all social media sites, local news sites, texting and calling Phoebe but you couldn't see anything. It was good though, right? If there was something life threatening going on it would be in the news, maybe this call was a bit more complicated than they had initially thought.

Turns out it was. Much more complicated. There were multiple ghosts all over the place that evidently took practically forever to catch. That's what Phoebe was saying as she was coming up the stairs of the firehouse. She barely managed to finish her sentence before you almost knocked her off her feet, you had ran at her as soon as you saw her, wrapping your arms tightly around her shoulders and burrowing your head into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry but I was so worried" you whispered,

"no it's fine, I should have called" she whispered back as she brought her arms around your back, holding you for a moment before you pulled away, thinking she probably had had enough.

2: there was a sort of tournament that your school held, your class was split into groups and you had to complete tasks as a team and whoever did the best would win a shitty plastic trophy. The only good thing about it was that your whole grade got half a day out of lessons and got to be with your friends.

This year you got to be with Phoebe and a few other people you didn't know, but they seemed nice enough. You all worked well together, flying through the tasks, and when it came to one of the last ones that only needed one person from each team, they put you forward.

You weren't sure at first but managed to do it in good time. You finished fourth which you were really happy with, running back to your group you went straight to Phoebe and threw your arms around her, she reciprocated almost immediately, saying "you did so well!"

"I know! I did not expect to finish so quickly" you pulled back begrudgingly but with a smile on your face, not completely satisfied from the short hug.

3: whenever you and Phoebe were hanging out, you didn't really plan what to do in advance with the possibility of her need to go and catch a ghost, you know, normal teenager stuff. This didn't mean you never did anything other than watch movies and play board games, sometimes you went out, like the time you went to an arcade.

It was dark inside, only lit with neon strobes and the lights from the machines. Time went by so quickly, one second you were deciding what to do first, the next you were playing a machine for the third or fourth time.

It was one of those games that you weren't supposed to win, so when Phoebe the genius Spengler didn't win the first try, you knew you would be there a while. It didn't take her too long to win a prize - a stuffed elephant which she gave to you - but it took more than five minutes so she was really excited when she finally won!

She celebrated by holding her arms up, along with you, and you put an arm around her side and squeezed as a well done, intending to immediately pull away but she put her arm around you in a similar way and so you stayed like that until she wanted to move onto the next game.

4: it was a rainy day, you had slept over at Phoebe's and were lying on her bed whilst she was doing something at her desk, you weren't sure if she was constructing something or deconstructing it. Was there a difference really?

You were scrolling on your phone, just enjoying her presence, when you got an email. It was for an interview for a job that you had been waiting to hear back from all week, so to say you were excited was an understatement.

You sat up on her bed, reading the email to make sure it was actually for the interview which it was! You were now standing up, rereading the email again before you said, "I got an interview"

"what was that" Phoebe asked, not really listening,

"I got an interview" you said slightly louder, still fixated on the email

"you did? That's amazing, you'll definitely get it" she had turned to face you and you looked up and smiled at her,

"you really think so? I mean what if-" you stopped at her putting her hands on your shoulders, you looked up at her,

"you will do great, you are perfect for the position"

You rushed forward into a quick hug, whispering "thanks" into her chest.

The first time she hugged you:

It was a miserable day out and a call had just come in about a small ghost roaming an apartment complex. It seemed completely normal and they knew they could handle it, the only thing was that the apartment complex happened to be the same one that you and your parents lived in.

It wasn't any different to any other ghost they had caught before, it's just that you could possibly get in the middle of things and Phoebe didn't want you to get hurt.

You didn't even know there was a ghost nearby until you got a call from Phoebe letting you know, she told you to stay in your apartment until she called you again, an instruction you fully intended to follow. Until the ghost ended up in your living room getting goo all over the couch.

You thought it probably wasn't best to be in the same vicinity as the ghost so left and waited near the hall, where the Ghostbusters would most likely come from.

You were wrong with your guess as to which way they would come from, and they ended up catching the ghost in your place, getting goo everywhere. Once all the commotion was over, Phoebe was looking around and recognised it as your apartment, so she went looking for you throughout the apartment, finding no one.

She was getting worried when she finally thought to call you, you answered and she spoke before you could think of getting sword out.

"where are you"

"I'm down the hall, did you get it-" you were cut off by her hanging up on you, and then nearly knocked over by her running at you and crushing you in her arms. You immediately hugged back, "what's up"

"you weren't in your apartment, I was worried" she mumbled into your hair

"oh yeah, there was a ghost in there so I thought I'd better wait outside" she chuckled,

"well that would have been nice to know"

You smiled at her words, relishing in her warmth.

★

Thanks if you read this it means a lot! My ask box is open for any questions or any feedback if there's something you think I could improve on xx

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hi! I don’t really know if this is considered an emergency request so feel free to ignore this since it’s way less urgent compared to other emergency requests.

Recently I have been having problems with asking myself whether or not I deserve an apology whenever I feel offended by my friends. I don’t really know how to word it so I’ll try my best here. I’m that ‘therapist friend’ in my group of friends of 4 (including me) and I always help solve the fights between our group which is mostly the same 2 friends fighting. I’ve never been in a fight with them more than 3 times and those times it barely lasts a day. Out of the 3 of my friends I’m really close to 1 of them (I’ll call her Kay) kay and I often play games together like Minecraft, cod, fall guys, etc. while playing these games she couldn’t talk so i was the only one talking while she was texting me back her responses, at one point she said something along the lines of ‘Jesus you sound like those annoying little kids that spit out a bunch of questions.’ Or something like that. I’ve been very insecure about my own voice and my child-like personality and the doubt in my head that I annoy my friends with my blabbering mouth(my friends don’t know this tho) I just responded with ‘oh’ and stayed quiet for the rest of the call which was silent. I excused myself and just went offline to think. I’m not sure if I was being over dramatic over something so small but that really hurt me and I tried to make it obvious it did hoping she’d approach me about it and tell me she didn’t mean it or basically anything but she never did. She just went about it like it didn’t even happen and I’m too scared to bring it up since it happened already a while ago and it’d be weird to. And this happens sometimes too, it doesn’t happen often nor does it rarely. I just need a second opinion on how to go about this. Could you give me some advice abt this along with sanji and law reacting to their s/o with this kind of problem?

I’m also the same Anon who sent the emergency request abt wanting to die instead of experiencing a loss of someone close, That really helped me overcome that feeling! I haven’t fully but I’m improving! Thank you so much and I hope you have an amazing day! (So sorry if this whole request is confusing and sorry for all the grammar mistakes)

I’m sorry if this isn’t considered an emergency request so feel free to ignore!

Hi sweet heart! I'm glad you're doing better about wanting to die. don't worry about being fully better. You're getting better, that's all that matters. It's okay to take your time. I'm sorry you're going through this. I sort of know how this feels, I was kind of this person in my group. Unfortunately, I eventually realized that, to those people, I wasn't a friend. Not really, anyway. I was just, admittedly, too afraid of being alone and abandoned to leave them. I suppose that's a pretty common fear. People don't really want to be alone.

Warnings: GN!Reader (I hope, let me know if I made any mistakes on that),

Word Count: 1800

     Chewing on your lip, you stared out the window. You deserved an apology for this, didn’t you? After all, it was rude, mean, and hurtful, so it wasn’t like it was an unreasonable request, right? The two of you in particular were pretty close too, so she’d know that she should apologize, right? Even still, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really deserved an apology. Surely you deserved it, you were always solving fights between them and rarely started any arguments yourself, so it wasn’t like you were constantly causing needless drama. It was one apology. If it were any of your other friends, you’d talk to both of them, try to smooth things over, and usually they’d work things out and apologize on their own after that. So being on the receiving end of that meant that you deserved the same courtesy… right? Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really did deserve one. What if you were being over dramatic? Or perhaps you were blowing all of this out of proportion. She and the others would be pretty upset if you asked for an apology you didn’t deserve and you really didn’t want to cause a fight. Maybe it would be fine if you waved it off? It’s not like it was a particularly common thing. Yeah, it happened from time to time, but it wasn’t like they were constantly putting you down.

     Getting up, you ran a hand through your hair. Maybe a shower or bath would calm you down and help you think. The warm water might help you relax and think clearly and a lot of people did their best thinking in the bathroom. If nothing else, it was worth a shot. Stepping in, you let the warm water soothe you, let it ease the tension in your muscles. Granted, it was hard to get yourself to relax into the water when you were this wound up, but eventually the warmth worked its way into your body, calming your mind. You were always the one solving all the problems, the one the others went to when they needed to talk, the one who helped everyone else, so what were you supposed to do when you were the one who needed help? Needed someone to talk to? Would the others hear you out? Just because you weren’t as close to the others didn’t mean you couldn’t talk to them about this. At least… hopefully. Despite how the water eased your body and calmed your mind, your thoughts still swirled like a whirlwind. You lost track of how much time you spent in the bathroom, how much time you spent trying to work out your thoughts before the water turned cold and you were forced to step out. Putting on some comfy clothes, you curled up on the couch, holding one of the couch pillows close.

Sanji

     Walking into the living room, Sanji’s smile fell. The look on your face was so despondent, so downcast. He hated seeing you like this.

     “Mon amour, what’s wrong?” the blond asked, kneeling on the floor next to the couch, reaching up to caress your cheek. Looking up at him, you debated on what to say. You really didn’t want to worry him, especially over something so… trivial. He had enough to worry about. Yet the look in his eyes begging you to tell him, to talk to him. The young man was always telling you that you could talk to him about anything, to come to him if you were ever feeling upset.

     “Do… Do I deserve an apology?” your heart ached as the words finally left your lips, a look of alarm crossing Sanji’s features.

     “Darling, what happened?” Sanji was immediately moving to the couch as he pulled you into his arms. Though he wanted to know what happened, he didn’t care if you were in the right or wrong, you were hurting. Taking a deep breath, you told him about what happened with your friend. Told him what she’d said, your insecurities, your feelings, everything. His hold on your tightened, holding you closer as he listened, one hand running up and down your back soothingly. Once you were finished, Sanji sat there for a moment, simply comforting you as he thought about what to say.

     “My dearest love, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. You’re so amazing, so kind and caring. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that.” Sanji’s lips met your forehead, making you smile slightly as you snuggled further into him, “Which of your friends is this? Perhaps I can speak to her about apologizing. She should know she hurt you. I doubt she meant to hurt your feelings, but all the same, she did. If nothing else, perhaps you can work things out. Even if an apology isn’t given, perhaps you can get her to understand your feelings. But please, don’t bottle this up, don’t let it eat at your heart." His words made you smile as you nuzzled shyly into his chest. He always seemed to know what to say, what to do. He had a point, at very least, if you could work this out, then it wouldn’t happen again. If you could get her to understand your feelings, understand how hurt you were, if she made sure not to hurt you again, perhaps an apology wouldn’t matter. Her actions would apologize for her, she’d be better and your friendship would be stronger. A thought dawned on you as you glanced back up at him.

     “And if she refuses to apologize? If she thinks she didn’t do anything wrong?” you asked worriedly, biting your lip again.

     “Then they don’t deserve you and you need new friends, my love.” Sanji said softly, putting his thumb on your lip, forcing you to stop biting it, “Don’t be afraid to leave those who don’t deserve you in an attempt to find those who do. You won’t make real friends if you don’t try. Whether you become better friends with her or you find better friends elsewhere, it’s better to find those who appreciate you.” His words make your heart swell as you rested your head against him, feeling infinitely better. You’d talk to her tomorrow, if all went well, she’d apologize and if she refused, you’d find those worthy of your friendship.

Law

     It was a while before Law stumbled into the living room, clearly exhausted from a long day doing rounds at the hospital. The surprisingly young doctor’s brow furrowed as he looked at your dispirited form. Normally you’d greet him with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes you’d have a snack or dinner ready for him, other times, you’d have started a hot shower for him. It didn’t take a genius for him to see that something was very clearly wrong. Taking a moment to think, Law finally pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you.

     “Tell me what’s wrong.” He said simply, already putting a hand on your head so you’d rest against his collarbone. Swallowing hard, you tried to gather your thoughts. You knew there was no hiding it from him. Of the few times you’d tried, he always knew you were lying and coaxed it out of you sooner or later. 

     After another moment, you began to tell him what had happened, occasionally stopping as you began to worry that you were babbling again. Each time, Law would tell you to continue, reassuring you that it was fine, even if you apologized for rambling. Of the many things he’d never admit, he actually liked your rambling, liked your babbling and childish nature. It was the yin to his yang. You were bright and sunny, offsetting his rather serious, aloof personality. And while you were bright and sunny, you weren’t annoying about it. You weren’t some bimbo with an empty head who flounced around talking about the most shallow, inconsequential, idiotic things. Not some superficial pretty face with no cares in the world. There was more to you than that. He found you beautiful, yes, and you were bright and you blabbered, sure; but you had more than two brain cells, you weren’t shallow, you cared very deeply. A little bright, cheery, slightly child-like actions were a welcome change in his life.

     You soon finished telling him what was wrong, followed by a million apologies for being over dramatic and annoying. After about 10 seconds of apologizing, his hand met the side of your head in a light ‘smack’, though said smack was more like a light tap of his fingers meant to shut you up and stop your endless apologies.

     “Stop apologizing, I asked what was wrong and kept telling you to continue. You don’t need to apologize. Your friend’s the one who should apologize. I really don’t care about what happened or why. She hurt your feelings, she made you question yourself, you need to talk to her. Even I apologize if I hurt Bepo, Shachi, or Penguin. She needs to know she hurt your feelings and work it out with you. You realize this’ll just keep happening if you don’t talk about it, right? She won’t realize she hurt you and she’ll just do it again. If you want this to get better, say something, ask for a damned apology. If she doesn’t give you one or says you're overreacting, leave. You need friends who will listen to you and try to understand you, not ones who’ll make you feel bad just for wanting to express how you’re feeling.” Law sighed and tilted his head back. Despite his advice, he really wasn’t good at this. The way he handled things and the way you handled things were completely different. 

     “What if it starts a fight? What if I lose them? I really don’t want to lose my friends.” you asked, giving him a worried look.

     “Then they aren’t friends, they’re people who are taking advantage of you. You really think I treat the others the same way? It’s basic respect to acknowledge a person’s feelings and try to right things. To improve your relationship by being better.” His words weren’t exactly soft or gentle, but as always, you could see right through him. You saw the care and love behind them. You nodded as you took a deep breath, letting him continue to hold you. 

     “Alright, I’ll try. Just… Please, take that day off. I want someone to comfort me if this starts an argument or they say they don’t want to be friends anymore.” you pleaded, making him nod.

     “Of course. Just… just know that if they want to end your friendship over something instead of just saying a few simple words, then they don’t deserve you. It’ll hurt, but you deserve better.” Law said softly, continuing to comfort you.

[hyperfixingfr]

CW for abuse. Idk if I've said this already but a conversation with @rainbowwwzo last night prompted a thought. Why are we still trying to claim 2 and 3 have good families?

1 & 5 have amazing families (Cree aside). 4 has a family who's trying their best, although probably need to look into why their son has behavioral issues instead of sending him to boarding school. But they still have their best intentions for him!

However, 2 and 3 have both been shown to have abusive and neglectful families. Somehow, I still see some of you claim they aren't that way despite the piles of clips that prove them to be horrible for their children.

For one, Numbuh Two is PHYSICALLY ABUSED. He's wacked over the head with a cane for anything mildly annoying he does. And his mother does NOTHING. Even when in the same room watching it happen, she does NOTHING. His grandmother can't even remember his name. He results to LYING to try and get her to love him, and even that doesn't work. Do you understand how that would impact a child? Do you understand that his fear towards fighting in the show and tendency to yelp or scream is a trauma response, because he's abused? I'm not saying you need to headcanon the boy with 98 mental illnesses or something... But you'd really be mischaracterizing him and ditching what is so obviously shown in canon if you didn't have this impact him in some way, shape or form. I feel VERY strongly about his home situation being misportrayed in particular because I was once in a situation where I was living with only my abusive, demented grandmother and my mother who was too weak from her own mother's abuse to save me from being abused too. My home situation looked just like his and it almost offends me when people claim he'd be happy go lucky, no heavy mental battles, content with his life, best outcome of the group. Because I can tell you right now, absolutely not.

For Numbuh Three, she gets the most ignorance. Her father was shown to be emotionally immature, screaming, yelling and slamming when he couldn't scoop *ice cream*. I hate to say it, but do you think a man who can't even handle letting ice cream melt a bit would be treating his daughters right? Absolutely not. We'd be lucky if all he did was emotionally abuse them. But judging by his reaction, it unfortunately seems he'd lay hands if upset enough. He reacts this way constantly. And his wife isn't any better. She seems to be projecting herself onto her children. She seems dull and uninterested in doing anything worth-while, and seems more keen on keeping them entertained indirectly instead of directly via playing with them. She raises so many red flags that you'd only see in emotionally abusive or absent parents. And even if she weren't, you cannot discredit the fact that she'd be letting her husband do it to them instead. Because she hardly does anything about it besides saying "calm down". We all know Kuki's innocence is a fake mask, but it baffles me how many people cannot piece together that she puts it on to protect herself from the environment her parents have created. She acts innocent to protect her feelings, most likely from her father. If she acts innocent, people let her off the hook more, which means less yelling.

Tommy and Mushi both take on personality traits found in abused children. Tommy seals himself off after realizing he can't always have his brother available (would've been achieved had he been in the KND) which means he wouldn't have the support of anyone that likes him or at least tolerates him. Hiding away in his room would be the best way to avoid conflict from Lydia. While Mushi takes on a evil, "I need to be the center of attention" demeanor. She goes to extremes just to get back at people who had her best interest in mind. Usually children give up a grudge like that quickly. It's not as bad as Tommy's signs, but it does imply she's attention hungry.

I'm not saying to make them both look like emos listening to MCR daily. But please, take 2 and 3s home lives into proper account. Especially when trying to portray it. I don't like seeing all of these misportrayals of people saying they've got perfectly happy families because they don't and it's very obvious they don't. At least to me, who had experienced both an abusive grandmother + hopeless mother and emotionally immature angry all the time parent. Missing the basic "2 and 3 have bad home lives" feels like you've missed the point of the show. Of course kids with bad home lives are gonna be there fighting for a better home life. The show is about fighting for basic rights for children. Completely glossing over a very in your face instance(s) of children being treated less than human is crazy.

[a-very-tired-raven]

OKAY, FINALLY, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! Welcome, my Grills, Dills, and Nonbinary Eels, to my pride art event!

This is how its all gonna go down! Im going to be doing a pride drawing, of my Oc Ameryllis. Due to some of you wanting to help out in some way, I'll be accepting your OWN drawings of him.

This will go up untill the 18th, which gives you all about a week to submit them.

All references I have of Ameryllis will be posted below, along with text descriptions because my handwriting is shit lmao. You do NOT have to participate if you dont want to.

Also, drawing your own ocs with him is welcome! I dont care what your drawings are, as long as they involve my fruity child. Feel free to ask any questions if needed!!! Also, buckle up, this is a long post. Alrighty *cracks fingers one at a time* Here we go!

A small description of Ameryllis to help get into his character: He was orginally my dolortale metta. Hes long since became his own character(though i may still use him as his orginal role), and i have unfortunately lost his metta design.

Anywho, Ameryllis represents the stage of acceptance in the stages of grief, hence the flowers hes named after. He has a GREAT love for theater, and uses this to help the undergound cope. He might seem stuck up and arrogant at glance, but this isnt the case. Though its incredibly hard to crack open his shell and see the real him. At first, hes a little cold, and hardly ever smiles, this making him hard to read as his emotions are very subtle, though his smug and dramatic demeanor shines through anyhow. Once you get to know him better, you'll find him showing that ever so slight smile more often, and youll see that hes really a total sweetheart, even if he has trouble showing it.( TSUNDERE). Even so hes very much a bitch, one that takes pride in how he dresses, and knows how to appreciate himself. ENOUGH OF THAT, BACK TO THE REFFS!!!!

Description: a large drawing of Ameryllis. There are notes above and beside. The notes are:

•The shorter hair on his left has a splityed part, resembling a triangle or curve.

• Permanent blush across Cheeks and Nose.

• Nose has slight darker color/highlight

• Freckles go across face, and above left brow, and go down the neck in a tight line before spreading a little.

• Cross earring.

Description: A large group of Ameryllis drawings, in the middle is an Outfit description labled 'Fit Check!' Notes surrounding these clothes follow:

• An arrow pointing to a yellow undershirt. The only thing visible when the shirt is worn are the classic puffy sleeves.

• An arrow pointing at a pair of black dress pants, with pockets in the back. To the right id an arrow pointing at a black hair tie.

• The unmarked clothing consists of a back tie/bow, a black cross earring, and a purple vest.

Description 1: Four upclose pictures of Ameryllis sketches. The first features Ameryllis tilting his head in a sly manner, with a grin, showing off a new look, which involves his hair somehow being even more curly then usual. Hes also replying to somehow not shown, saying "What else can I say? I like it~"

Description 2: The second sketch consists of Ameryllis saying his lines on stage, prefroming one of his plays or musicals. While his lines are blurred, his hair is tied for once.

Description 3: A drawing of Ameryllis. His facial expression has him looking in some sort of frustration. Nothing else is shown, so its not clear on if hes pissed at someone, or just done with everything. His hair is clipped into some sort of bun, with some hair hanging lose.

Description 4: A drawing of Ameryllis making a wry comment in mockery to someone not shown. The comment happens to be "Thats just too bad~". He has a pouty expression, seeming to be taunting someone.

Description: A Chibi drawing of Ameryllis.

Description: Two drawings of Ameryllis. The first features said character portraying an unapologetic manner, despite both shrugging and his words. His usual orange eye, is now red in an artistic choice, trying to convay that whoever he was speaking to is looking at someone dangerous. He has a sly grin while saying 'Opps~' which is implying he did something to someone in a ruthless manner.

The second drawing features a side profile of Ameryllis.

(1/2) I will reblog this in just a moment with a couple more drawings, along with the picrew i made his design in so you have a color pallet.

[str4wb377yyyyyyl3m0n4d333333]

I lost around 14 or 16 pounds over the summer and wanted to share how I did it! Only took me about a month maybe a month and a half. (I know thats not a lot but for me it’s great.) 💌

1. Distractions!

-I cannot stress this enough, you NEED to have hobbies. I literally would not achieved it without giving myself things to do. Going out with my friends was always the most effective, second was probably calling them/playing video games with them. I found a really good discord server that was basically like a big group chat. I befriended everyone over the summer and spent everyday talking to the lovely people there. Although discord is kind’ve weird and does have a bad reputation these are probably the most normal people I’ve found on the app.

2. Good sleep schedule

-you’d think sleeping all day would help avoid eating—and although that does work. What about the night time? I find myself binging so much more at night rather than day. Not to mention everyone’s sleeping so nobody can make any comments, or see how much food I am consuming/shoving in my bed room to later shove in my mouth.

3. Fruit, lots and lots of it.

-find all sorts of fruit combinations and fun ways to eat it. You could cut your fruit/vegetables into cute shapes, blend them together and have a smoothie, or cut them up and make a salad! The salad one was always my best-friend. My favorite combinations were strawberries and apples, apples strawberries and bananas, lemon chunks/or juice with cucumber and tajin on top, raspberries with watermelon and strawberries, or green beans with broccoli sometimes cauliflower.

2/3. combined

With my good sleeping schedule I was in bed by 9:00P.M. every night and waking up always before 10:00A.M. Eating after the clock hit 10 felt wrong/gross so I avoided it. Nothing after 8:00P.M. Either. It was so much easier to not eat after 6 o’clock, 7, or 8 when I was in bed by 9.

4. Omad

Basically everyday I was doing an Omad. And let me tell you, I felt great. I usually had a decent amount of fruit in the morning along with a black coffee that lasted me through the day. The fruit salad bowl I ate most often was apples and strawberries. I would use a whole apple then try and make a good ratio between that and the strawberries. That always left me with plenty to snack on. Sometimes I wouldn’t finish it right away and just snack on my fruit through out the day. If I got hungry I would just remember “Oh I have my fruit bowl!” I always take awhile in general to finish my fruit so I felt full more quickly. I don’t have that problem with vegetables really unfortunately. That kind’ve ties into number 5.

5. Slow paced eating/snacking

-this only worked for me with my fruit bowls but going on my phone and doing other things while I ate I would take longer to finish and leave my food for later. Maybe its not counted as omad if your technically sometimes having your one meal spilt into small portions every couple hours. Who knows, it worked for me.

6. Water!!

-water is your best-friend. My mom sometimes gets those big Starbucks cups for holidays/birthdays and lets me use them. I always have three filled in my room. I would drink all of them at least twice a day. Honestly having to go to the bathroom so much was irritating but I felt amazing. Not to mention with the healthy eating and all the water my skin was great.

7. Side note

This Isn’t really a tip or how to but I just wanted to say that I had still accomplished weightless even with having some sugar or greasy junk food. There were days where I would have a cookie, some cookie dough, candy bars, etc. still maintaining my weight. Depending how much I had I would go up two pounds or so but I would get back down because it wasn’t an everyday thing. Once every two or one weeks is good. Two days in a row isn’t too good but I still managed to get by. Don’t over do it!!

Little coming back message from me, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. ❣️

Hi guys, I’m back!! Not really sure when the last time I had tumblr was but I wanted to get the app again. I hope me not being active wont mess with my account activity too much. Usually when I don’t post for a while I have to make a new account because my content does not get any traction. And if you think about it thats honestly good. You guys need to recover!! There is no I’m not sick enough to get help. If you’re ready and want to/need to PLEASE seek help. You’re beautiful just the way you are and I would hate to see you leave this earth because you thought otherwise. So many others would agree too. I love you all, stay safe, and Im excited to be posting more content again!

[deepest-dope]

remember my ex-raider post? no? im referencing it anyway! so anyways heres the new vegas companions ranked for how long admitting to being an ex raider would shut them up, listed longest time to shortest time! you can use it for your own ocs i guess but this is mostly based on my boy cave

boone stopped talking for an entire week after. he'd just barely gotten conversational after 1 month of traveling together towards vegas. he was talking about the ncr too much and too positively. it took 2 more weeks for him to get back to what counts as conversational for boone. hes not really chatty in the first place but his weirdly high trust in the ncr even after what he himself is upset about them putting him through is very grating. cave dropped an additional im a jackal and ex-powder ganger bomb month 3 after craig tried to suggest he enlist after a trip to bitter springs. they never really got to start talking again before boone was killed.

cass went quiet after being told and stayed quiet for 3 entire days. got over it in the end though, but mostly because he's not a raider anymore. nobody tell her its only ex because he literally cannot get back to his old group and he does not trust anyone else enough to run with. probably shouldnt say anything about having considered trying to join the great khans for a while before unfortunate circumstances ended up souring his relationship with most of the great khans he was close to either. this was before she figured out he was an addict which she was honestly way more upset about, she was pestering him to drink with her.

raul took one full day to get over it, actually suspected it for a while beforehand based on cave's vaguely guilty reaction to being told the story of how raul's family died. doesnt really hold it against cave like boone and cass did either. he is the first and for a long time only person to realize cave uses the fact he used to be a raider as an easy single use method to make people shut up and leave him alone for a while. cave used it because he ran out of stuff to keep withdrawal at bay and just needed some quiet time without raul razzing him or kvetching at him. raul is actually semi-prepared to come to cave's defense for when he tells other people that little tidbit about himself if they have a bad reaction to it. not where cave can see him do it though.

arcade took until cave was finished cooking for everyone, so like an hour at most, but wasnt overly hung up on it. cave actually pulled that card out more for arcades benefit then his own because arcade was stumbling over another attempt to cover up his past with the enclave badly. arcade wasnt that torn up over it but could tell cave needed a little time to himself, but not that cave usually uses the ex raider bomb to get time to himself. also semi-prepared to come to caves defense if anyone takes the ex-raider thing badly. it actually helps arcade feel better admitting to being an enclave citizen to cave. they both think their past is much worse then each others.

veronica takes it 2nd best out of everyone at like 30 minutes tops, and thats mostly because she was eating lunch with him. also the only one to really pick up on the fact that he would very much still be a raider if he still had his family and is pretty understanding of this. also fully prepared to play defense with raul and arcade if anyone ever finds out and takes it badly. dude gives her every pristine dress he gets his hands on and has her eternal friendship by now.

grandma lily took zero time to come to terms with it. she was fussing over him for whatever reason and he dropped the ex raider bomb trying to get her off his back for a minute and she said "its okay sweetie, you and your old friends all did what you had to to make it out there in the wasteland. no shame in that at all, grandma still loves you" and ended up making cave cry for the first time in a decade. raul had to take over cooking dinner for the group while he was crying uncontrollably. leader of the jimmy defenders.

[thilsworld]

[October 11th 2024]

Once again I forgot to post for a few days so... Yeah...

Yesterday was my sister's birthday though! Since her apartment is really small she decided to visit me and my mom instead of us visiting her. My mom made homemade Belgian waffles and we decorated them with whipped cream and sweet sauces (meant for ice cream but whatever) and chocolate sprinkles.

Here's a picture, featuring Storm

Unfortunately my birthday gift for her got delayed and it ended up arriving literally 2 hours after she went back home. So I'll give it to her next time I see her. Which might actually be my own birthday since that's 11 days from now...

We also played cards against humanity again since that's her favorite game. To make it a little more interesting, we also always add 1 random white card, so the person picking has to choose between 3 instead of 2. But sometimes the randomly selected card from the top of the pile is a little TOO good. At the end of our long playing round I had 19 points, my sister 15, my mom 21 and the randomly selected card 9. Which... 9 too many to be honest...

Here's a nice example of the random card fitting TOO well. Cause the first white card was my mom's, second was random, 3rd was my sister's

Now as for something about today instead of yesterday:

I'm trying out something new. For the past week I had been struggling to make my day to day life more meaningful and feel like I am productive, considering I am disabled, don't work, and due to anxiety also don't go out often. I'm basically in a bubble with just my mom and cat, and occasionally my sister, my best friend, or my therapist.

So I went looking for someone who had documented their daily life routines down to it's VERY basics. I wanted to find some habits that work for me to make my life feel functional.

I found this blog from a husband and wife, very conservative Christians so definitely not my type of people, but the wife had basically written down EVERYTHING she does from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep. Brush teeth, pray, put clothes on, open curtains, EVERYTHING. And one thing it said was that she starts her day with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. Which, is very normal I know. But I decided to give it a try today for the first time. But in my own way cause I don't like coffee and we don't have a newspaper subscription at our house.

So I made my breakfast, and went through the news app, taking small notes of anything that seemed noteworthy. Most is quite depressing, but one thing I loved seeing that according to a research they did among millennials and gen z, about 48% of people in that age group identify as lgbtq in some way, and another 30% is an ally. How amazing is that! I love how with time we're slowly becoming more progressive, and because of that younger generations are able to identify themselves more safely from earlier ages.

It's currently 21:32 as I type this so I guess I'm gonna stop typing and just go to bed now. Maybe I'll write down my (very short) routine tomorrow, kind of like that blog I found, so I can see in the future what stuck and what improved.

3 positive things about today:

We had pizza for dinner

Mom and I played monopoly again, and for the first time in AGES i actually won

I felt more fulfilment today than the past few days. Idk why cause I didn't do much more than usual. I guess I got out of bed on the right foot

[prpfz]

🦊 hello! 19+, this message may differ a bit from other messages in terms of what it asks for... I don't have a specific plot or world in mind, only characters! I do not really like making new characters for the sake of organization stuff so, I am sending this in.

However I do not roleplay with canon characters, so this will be fandomless (mostly? I will expand on that later down)

I'm looking for casual rp- I try to send long messages or reflect the length of the message beforehand, but I haven't had the opportunity to really rp with anyone who writes very long paragraphs so I cannot say I reliably can. That being said, I do prefer messages that are not super long (I usually write one action+dialogue+maybe some inner thoughts in a message; I like being able to leave room for an action to be responded to rather than a long chain of actions in one message). I've primarily done group rps in the past, but I am open to trying 1 on 1 rp even if it intimidates me a bit (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠). I respond when I can or when I feel I have the energy to, I am sending this message in at a bit of a busier time of life than usual but I won't ghost you completely! I will let you know if I can't respond, or have something else to attend to, or don't have inspo. I promise I don't hate you,, things happen, and I understand if the same happens to you.

I write and draw my own characters- I don't use faceclaims, only illustrations! If you do and think that having my illustrated characters vs faceclaim photos will be jarring, I think so too- I don't mind it, but if you do, definitely skip over this message.

As for the actual content, I have 6 fully written characters and a few more I might be persuaded to use, or at least rewrite before I use them.

2 space themed OCs- A cheerful, curious and upbeat female made of stardust (switch), and an easygoing amnesiac with something of a sadistic side and an "eye for an eye" mentality (dominant+top leaning)

3 animal/human hybrids who are a result of human experimentation, NOT anything like a mythical bloodline. All are traumatized but hide it in their own ways (think humans with animal ears/tails; I unfortunately just cannot get into furries, so apologies to anyone looking for furry rps)- A shy, withdrawn roe deer female who views herself as an outsider towards the general population but is something of a romantic, deep down; she just doesn't think it's something she'll ever experience (submissive-leaning switch), a seemingly dismissive, strict female albino rabbit that is kind to her friends of which she has... few (dominant-leaning switch), and a quiet, melancholic male arctic wolf that does not have much direction in his life and works as one servant among many for some rich person to fill up his time (submissive bottom only, sorry). These three originally have a backstory that is set in a futuristic setting, I can easily see myself fiddling with it for whatever the rp calls for.

The last fully written one is a mischievous male dimension traveler, who likes playing pranks and has some light abilities of his own. (submissive bottom only for him as well)

As for the others, two I assume are not very rp friendly because they are meant to be paired with each other in an obsessive relationship, and the other three I am dissatisfied with how I used to have them and still need to rewrite them. If it's important, one was a male-leaning nb switch and a result of some ritual/spell gone wrong, and the other two were soul collectors on behalf of death, one a more dominant male and the other a female (never really thought about her prefs tbh XP)

I prefer fandomless, but I am open to roleplaying OCs only in a fandom setting- something like a genshin au of our characters, for example. As long as I'm familiar with it, I can probably do that, but I prefer not to rp with canon characters.

Off the top of my head, fandoms I'm familiar (at least somewhat! Some of these I stopped engaging with a long time ago, but I know the basics at least) with are:

-Genshin Impact

-Honkai Star Rail

-Alien Stage

-Degrees of Lewdity

-Nu:Carnival

-Stardew Valley

(to the mun- You don't have to tag these, since I'm not looking for a primarily fandom-based rp^^)

I have very few hard limits; I won't engage in unsanitary kinks in rp, but it doesn't do much other than squick me out so I won't leave over it being there. I just won't rp it. Vore and inflation I definitely won't, and I don't prefer my characters being pregnant/impregnated. Pregnancy is not my thing, I won't engage with it, but again, I'm not going to leave over it. I just won't really touch it ^^

Also, although smut is fun, what really draws me into an rp is the story, so a primarily smut rp will probably end with me losing interest. When the smut has plot with it, though? Very different story.

One last thing- I have no problem with 🍪, although it would be quite OOC for most of my characters to be the older one in those scenarios. I don't mind brainstorming, though!

Anyways, that's it for now, and if you want me to add my characters to an rp/setting of yours, don't be afraid to reach out! I'd do something like check the likes on the post but I fear I'd lose where it is under other posts easily lol...

like or dm (I'm going to tag it all anyway you might decide you want to rp in them!)

[anaesthesia-why]

question to radfems who play project sekai: what is your analysis on mizuki?

My take is going to be very "on the surface" as I tried to play the game twice (bc there are a lot of cool songs (vocaloid and not) incl 2 by mafu) but just don't like the gameplay mainly for the upward flick notes and I don't follow stories of the games I don't play so I skimmed the wiki for cards and some quick info. So (using sex-based pronouns for the character Mizuki here):

Mizuki is a crossdressing male, voiced by an actual female actress. His gender is stated to be unknown, the character himself uses "boku" which is used by males and tomboyish females, the game either avoids using pronouns or uses "kare" which is "he" but I see people say is also used gender-neutrally for "they" (male pronoun is used as gender neutral, who's surprised? Not me), eng version uses "they", the playable characters who didn't know him before he grew out his hair and started dressing in feminine clothing sometimes use "she". He is and was bullied in school for liking cute things, was/is still(?) depressed bc of it (even wanted to commit suicide), mostly skips school but not so much he'll be made to repeat a year. Good at altering/making(?) clothes and making music videos. And well the being bullied/depressed can be easily sympathised with, and his talents appreciated. Worth noting that being bullied for liking cute things bc they're "for girls" is a strictly male experience (but idk the details and can say that if a girl is bullied for that (if by other girls I mean) it usually goes w it being her hyperfixation if she's autistic, if by boys it's bc they just bully just bc.). However, the way the character is coping is... not really cool. He engages in consumerism and recreating his idea of "cute" with wearing dresses, thighhighs and heels(?)/feminine shoes and using infantile (yes mainstream cute in jp really is that) poses and face expressions such as : ○, : ↿, : - and :p and "foxy" (cunning?) expression with a slight smile and slightly lowered brows. Most of the cards have him with these expressions, but also a lot of them have him portrayed pretty happy, some are just neutral but usually include a "cute" pose. One or two looked like the character is evil/insane (glowing eyes and a wide smile without showing teeth :) ), and then like again JUST one or two look like the character is sad (younger version with short hair and masculine clothing crying and another which looks more like serious/deep in thoughts and has a pretty dark palette). He doesn't call himself a girl though and doesn't try to convince anyone that he is one, instead he hopes he can be viewed as just "Mizuki" like he is. Means he's just a gendernonconforming guy that is unfortunately imitating/perpetuating harmful stereotypes generated by the culture he currently lives in.

Edit: also he used to experience dysphoria/dysmorphia if he used to cover the mirror?

(Disclaimer about femininity: it was created and is constantly modified to opress the female part of the human population, which is punished for both following it and refusing to follow it. If a male is uncomfortable with masculine gender roles, which are used to learn to opress and tries to follow the other set of rules he is bullied for CHOOSING the "loser" position that is used for women and everything associated with them. This is an EFFECT of misogyny but is again a strictly male experience which means it isn't misogyny itself)

I'm trying to reflect what my PERSONAL gripes are here: when I chose that band bc the theme of trauma resonates with me most out of all the others (I mean the group with a (self-made)trainee and 3 ex-idols just by description sounds meh bc female idols are exploited too strongly but I hope they're characterised well ig, I didn't get to research that when choosing and tbh now too, the group about reconnection sounds ok but too slice-of-life-y, the other two are mixed, I mean have boys) and I hoped it was a group of just girls trying to be supportive of each other and to overcome hardships together and then among them saw this kinda shallow infantile character who also mostly didn't even look depressed and looked "playfully cutesy" and happy and was also a "trans girl" (which to me explained these shallow imitations of being a girl) but turns out it's the fandom shouting about trans so loudly and occasionally about nb, and shutting down any discussion about him being male. Idk if the storywriters and artists are ever trying to make a comment about gender roles or just want an actually shallow cute-pretty appealing with looks character. I do not want to research any further and if anyone actually following the story of the game can tell me if the matters are made better or worse, I'll be glad. For now I can say I don't have a strongly negative reaction to the character anymore, as intentions matter, but still remain critical of him not reflecting on why he is following what society says is cute and why is he not dropping out of high school if he doesn't need it?

Disclaimer for gender-pilled tumblr community: I reflected on my kneejerk hateful reaction to a character and softened a bit but still remain critical for slightly different reasons now. I know you don't like sex-based pronouns but if you come here to argue please read the whole thing first

[sunoooism]

📜ADMIT IT!— six.

❝just out here living vicariously through my novel!❞

mlist

I rushed this a bit sorry 💀💀, this update was delayed bcs I've been really busy with school and stuff. hopefully I'll be back to updating once or twice a week now!!

Day 2 of Yokohama

your second day in Yokohama was spent relaxing in the hotel, watching whatever shitty film or TV show was available. the best thing you could find at the moment was 'Kubo and the Two Strings' which you remembered Kuina recommending to you years ago. she kept pestering you about it until you got fed up and lied about watching it, saying 'oh, yeah! I loved it!' if there was any time to actually watch it, it would be now you supposed.

as Chishiya showered and carried on with his night routine you were sprawled out across your bed in an oversized sleep shirt and shorts you borrowed stole from Ann. the movie had been good so far but it made you wonder why all children in kids films always have such sad backstories.

by the time Shuntaro had emerged from the bathroom you had fallen asleep atop his pillow that you had also borrowed stolen. usually this would irritate the life out of him even if it was Kuina, but staring down at you and the little bit of drool smeared across your lip, he couldn't really find it in himself to be annoyed with you.

Day 3 of Yokohama

Chishiya had suggested a walk through the streets of Yokohama, and since you couldn't think of anything else to do instead you agreed. unfortunately you ended up on a busy pavement with people bumping into you two left and right. and even more unfortunate for you there were countless couples everywhere you looked. this left you only slightly upset and dejected by your love life, or more specially the lack-thereof.

Day 4 of Yokohama

Day 5 of Yokohama

your day was spent with another outing into town accompanied by Chishiya, and along the way desperate texts to your multiple friends asking for advice on what to do about your Chishiya Shuntaro issue.

you had just finished harassing Kyuma for advice when the man on your right pulled you into a movie theater. apparently his favourite film was playing. who knew he was into thrillers?

well to be completely honest you didn't know if it was a thriller, as cliché as it sounds you were too busy admiring Chishiya to pay attention and or care. to say you thought of him as ugly would be a lie, and while you had never thought too hard on the subject you were now questioning whether or not he had always been this enticing.

you had no doubt he knew you were staring, if he didn't you would be astonished to no end, but what confused you was the fact that he wasn't calling you out for it. usually if something like this happened he would mercilessly taunt and tease whoever he caught. but he seemed to be content, pleased, even with this outcome. you could see the small smirk itching to pass over his features.

your big question was, why?

Day 6 of Yokohama

day six in the city was spent exploring small, aesthetically pleasing shops. so far you had gotten a couple books, a new sage green scarf and snacks for you and Chishiya to share while you were out.

your final destination was Yokohama park. you had once told your friend group you adored a view of flowers and trees to pass the day. that was years ago though, apparently Chishiya had remembered. so you both sat on a wall watching people pass by and cracking jokes, by your opinions it might have been the best day there.

Last day of Yokohama

although Chishiya had been strangely tolerable this past week, in no way were you complaining. but you knew he would probably revert back to normal when you were around your other friends again and for some reason that didn't bother you. you had gotten used to his snarky remarks after a while and it felt strange now that he was softer.

for your last day in Yokohama you had agreed to go to a restaurant for dinner, it wasn't too fancy but at the same time wasn't completely horrible either. It had good reviews so you both thought, why not right?

you were both sat in a booth tucked in at the very back of the room. the tables surrounding you mainly consisted of young couples having a romantic night out, a lady squealed as her partner brought out a bouquet and leapt up to smother him in affection. was the world just out to make fun of your non existent love life this week?

"I've enjoyed our time together, Y/n. I hope we can plan things like this more often, it's quieter without Arisu complaining all the time" his statement caught you off guard, and with your new found feelings for the man it made your stomach flutter a bit at the thought of spending more time with him. "I liked this week too. thank you for sacrificing your back account to make me happy this week, I really appreciate it.

next time it's my turn"

Next - Previous

©sunoooism

tags: @captivq @happyjuhyun @yvrikoo @mxbrahms @huachengsbestie01 @rainqissedd @brdpch @ehddsnys @kokxm1 @naegisimp @luvvsnae @bowscale @hy0ukka @trinmadol @saiewithakatana @bre99 @kazuhacumslut @fiqire @mazeinthemoon

[thoselethalarts]

Who's the Best (and worst) Roommate?

1. Matt. Simply by virtue that he's... never around? He spends extremely long amounts of time away from his room (spending the nights with Marcus usually instead), which means when he was a 2nd year you'd get the whole room to yourself most days. The times he actually is in his home dorm he mostly keeps to himself and reads or listens to audio books. He does like to talk and make friendly conversation though, so if you initiate he'll perk right up from whatever he's doing to chat. The most bother you'll have from him is when him, Marcus, and Kaz get together for a group study session, but they're able to move if you need privacy.

2. Kaz. He's just a sweet boy! If a bit if a pushover sometimes. He likes to talk and get to know you better, but is understanding if you'd prefer to be alone. Any mess he makes he makes sure to keep to his side of the room, though he also gets antsy when the room is a mess he doesn't like to voice his concerns when it happens. If you're feeling under the weather he'll offer to get you something from Sam's to help you feel better. He spends a lot of time away from his room throughout the day and mostly just comes back to sleep late at night (though he tries to be quiet as possible when he comes back too late). Every week him, Marcus, and Matt will have group study sessions and alternate between each other hosting, but they can usually move to the lobby if you ask.

3. Stahli. Yet another sweet boy! He likes to talk about his day and your day, and might offer to make you some tea and a treat when he's making some for himself. Actually he might offer you food often, since he's always looking for a taste tester for his cooking experiments. He's a little bit of a neat freak though and might pester you to clean things up if you leave the room too unkempt for his taste. Also, he can't stand strong fragrances so he might complain if you want to burn a candle/incense with too strong a fragrance or if you use body spray/perfume.

4. Phobos. He's antisocial and doesn't like being bothered. Being his roommate is only nice if you don't want someone to talk to, cuz chances are he won't want to talk to you even if you try and initate conversation. It's possible to befriend him, but it will just take a bit of time. He stays up really late on his computer, so hopefully you can sleep through the clicking of his keyboard. He gets pissed off if you try to have company over, but can ignore them by playing on his computer with his headphones on.

5. Marcus. He keeps to himself for the most part, so you won't have to worry about him bothering you, however insomnia + night terrors will make sleeping in the same room as him a bit of a challenge. You might hear him wake up or make startled noises periodically through the night. Also his boyfriend Matt is usually hanging around the room with him and will often spend the night. Somehow he's even more nocturnal than Marcus is. Hopefully you'll get used to it. Other than that him, Matt, and Kaz will have group study sessions sometimes and he'll host it in his dorm room. He's understanding though if you want him to move somewhere else.

6. Nyx. Unfortunately staying with him would kind of suck unless you share a lot of characteristics with him. He spends a lot of time alone in his room when classes are out, so I hope you weren't hoping for privacy. Because of his low heat tolerance he requires special accommodations and keeps the room fairly cool, so hopefully you like cooler temperatures too. He often stays up late on his computer and does voice calls with his friends, and while he'll try and lower his voice he still isn't that good at monitoring his volume. There's also a slim chance of Spontaneous Eels knocking on your door at any given moment with no warning. No they won't go away either if you turn them away. He sleeps with a sound machine and a lava lamp cuz he can't stand the dark and quiet. Also he will absolutely get upset if you have too loud of company over, even if he doesn't say something. Hypocrite.

7. Vantablack. As if being around them for long periods of time wasn't unnerving or invasive enough, their side of the room is a godamn quarantine zone. They like to decorate their side of the room with bones and teeth strung up like string lights along their bed and there's a locked chest at the foot of their bed which you can only assume is full of human skulls. Weird sigils are painted on the walls around the window and by the doorway and they will NOT let you scrub them off, no matter how much they bother you. There's a weird smell of moss and lake water that permeates their side of the room at all times. You get the feeling they might have been rummaging through your things when you're not home but you have no proof. They're talkative and really want to get to know you better, but you get this weird feeling that they don't just want to get closer to you because they want to be friends...

[acromandus]

Finally getting around to doing this! Thank you @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey for tagging me ♥♥♥♥♥ I haven't done these in ages so it was fun to feel like we were back in the 'golden era' of tumblr xD

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties: I don't wanna pressure anyone to have to do this, so consider this a warm suggestion rather than a I-will-judge-you-if-you-don't kind of situation @heyitszev :) (and if anyone else reading this feels like it, go ahead, the more the merrier lmao)

Favourite colour: This is a tough one because it all just depends on context so much. I'd say typically I veer more towards darker tones in general: really like a nice dark green, or a dark red or crimson. Purple is lovely too :D

Last song: Two Knights and Maidens by Crash Test Dummies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NS2EcHzdYY

Say what you want about the lyrics, but the chord progression in this song is *chefs kiss*

Last movie: 9. A bit of a strange one perhaps, but an interesting take on a post-apocalyptic world brought to life in a style that reminds me of Tim Burton a little bit. Basically, the world has been destroyed in a war between humans and machines, and we're introduced to a group of sentient dolls, each with a number on their backs from 1 to 9, who have had to survive in this strange new world while figuring out why they were made in the first place. I don't wanna spoil this for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll leave it at that :)

Currently watching: I'm in-between series atm haha. Waiting for season 4 of the Boys, and just finished watching season 2 of 30 Coins. Might just do a rewatch of Andor or the Punisher to fill this void.

Other stuff I watched this year: Err… from what I remember (and yes, since we're only in January, I'm counting 2023 into this as well) I'd say Moon Knight, Andor, 30 coins, a rewatch of Supernatural (up to season 12), and the One Piece live action series. Out of all these Andor was perhaps my favourite, but I enjoyed all of them, and was pleasantly surprised at how well the One Piece adaptation remained loyal to the original works :D they obviously had to adjust some things but it still felt true to form. With Andor, I was hesitant to watch it at first because the last SW series I had watched had been declining in quality (weird writing, etc), however… Andor completely blew me away. The way it builds up to the climax was just so well done, the writing is superb, music fantastic, and it's one of those series I wish I could forget about completely so I could experience it for the first time again.

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: I haven't watched many series I've not finished since I usually watch them to the end anyway, but looks like that new Percy Jackson series may unfortunately fall into this category?

Currently reading: I've been powering through the Harry Potter books. Started during the Christams holidays and I'm now on book 6. So far so good, though I've had to slow down with holidays being over. Might need to reread the Robert Langdon series as well after this as it's still one of my personal favourites.

Currently listening to: This changes daily but I do find myself drifting back to Riot music very often. So, that's music made for League of Legends, Valorant, etc. Not the soundtracks, but songs like Worlds anthems like "GODS" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3GouGa0noM) and 2021's "Burn It All Down" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z6CHioIn3s). I also absolutely love "Breathe" from the official launch video for Legends of Runeterra (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNhKAJwlj04). I also like this vid for it heavily featuring Darius, the only champ I ever played when I attempted to get into LoL before the toxicity got to me and I decided it's not for me :3 (didn't take long, but left me with a bit of a soft spot for him lmao)

I absolutely do not play any of these games but man… the music is on point imo. Something again about chord progression, don't ask what my obsession with that is lmao.

If I'm not listening to these and songs like them, I'm listening to heavy metal (industrial or symphonic), movie or game soundtacks, or oldies belonging to various genres from the 70s and 80s, occasionally 90s as well. Here's a couple examples:

Once You've Tasted Love by Take That

Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp

Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra

Misplaced by Sonata Arctica

And I will leave it at that as I've already included too many songs lmao

Currently working on: I'm currently making a backend for a gym app I'm working on. I somehow got the GraphQL elements working, now I need to get it saving to a database of somekind. I could do this locally or learn to save data to the cloud but I haven't yet decided which approach to take lmao. Overall, I'm just upskilling in the hopes of eventually landing a job as a full-stack developer. NO LUCK SO FAR aside a couple freelance frontend opportunities :/

Current obsession: Hmm….. good question. I'd say, despite me not playing it as much as I used to, I am slowly getting back to Elder Scrolls Online? Fire Emblem Fates is another, as well as Bleach.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Wow I never thought I'd see an ARMY talk about NCT the way you did. What do you think of the group? You said you like their latest cb, what exceeded your expectation? If you have one who is your bias?

**

Hi Anon,

I usually check out every new release if I've got time to. Checked out Ay Yo and liked it. It's a dope track.

What I said is:

"For the first time in three years I am not completely disappointed. (Too bad SM Entertainment is sort of self-destructing right now.) Ay Yo is giving me everything the boys are capable of. And by 'the boys' I'm referring to Haechan, Mark, and Taeyong - that trio + Ten are the only people I care for (in a very neutral sense), in NCT. Chenle and Jaemin occasionally stand out. But the real star this comeback is the song. 2 Baddies was an atrocity that didn't need to exist, but Ay Yo sits just at the sweet spot between disorienting experimentation and anthem hit. When you see the boys perform it it only gets better... "

NCT is one of the more interesting projects out of SM in (1) its concept - NCT is the musical expression of Seoul, her culture; and (2) its medium of choice: hyper-pop and hip hop. NCT is a group significantly more interesting than SHINee or EXO. In theory, in my opinion. But until now, they really didn't live up to that hype. Again, my opinion.

But when I saw the dance practice for Ay Yo, I had to revisit that thought.

This dance practice video alone justifies the existence of this group. First of all, full kudos to Rie Hata for choreographing such an avant-garde and memorable routine. Next, the guys have to get their full credit. I haven't even bothered watching anything else they've released yet, I'm perfectly content just watching the dance practice over and over. That's how good they are.

My problem with NCT though (and honestly most SM-trained idols) is that, like a Roja parfum, performance quality doesn't last long. I know someone who attended that live performance that had Lucas disruptively dancing to a completely different song mid-performance. Like they saw that, in person. Can you just imagine what that is like? But I won't dwell on that, what I'd rather highlight is how much they've improved. They moved like a single unit from start to finish in Ay Yo. The entire performance is seamless, the attention to detail impressive, and they're all so into it. It's really cool and close to how insanely immersed BTS gets during a performance. This style of dance seems to work them into that almost trancelike state, and it suits them very well.

Haechan ties with Taeyong who ties with Ten who ties with Mark to be my favourites in NCT. I can't really speak to their characters, I don't watch them enough to comment, but I do think from a 'capability' standpoint, those four are in the top 10 male idols ever produced by SM. So, it was very gratifying seeing them improve even more this comeback.

The song is actually good too though, like I said, the bridge is a bit unfortunate. Jaehyun's verse too.

I hate bridges in SM songs. Generally. The bridge in an SM song exists to serve as a mood breaker and palette cleanser for the highlight of the song, which in Ay Yo is from timestamp: 2:57 to 3:35. A bridge should be something that redirects your focus, something that plays with the motif of the whole song, not introduce its own. Anyway, that's mostly my thing. I'm sure many people enjoy the abrupt switch ups mid-song, and sometimes I'm one of those people, but most times I'm not. It's so encouraging for me that Ay Yo is a song good enough even with that.

For the Anon who sent me an ask more tied to the mess happening at SM rather than my views on NCT, I'll get to your ask before long.