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everyone should have a balanced diet of both good music and music that fucking sucks. it's healthy. get over it.

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brennan answering the question "what would make a dragon unfuckable to a monsterfucker?"

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Apparently in China peach wood (Along with the rest of the plant) is believed to have properties that repel evil spirits, a little similar to silver in European legends or iron for both European fae and West Asian/Middle eastern Jinn. Taoists sometimes keep swords made of peach wood because of this. This made me realize something. If you took a peach wood stick, and attached studs to it of both silver and iron you'd end up with a club or staff (or mace, flail etc.) that would have the weaknesses of many kinds of supernatural creatures while still retaining effectiveness as a normal weapon (peach is a hardwood and silver's poor edge retention doesn't matter for studs). You could even keep adding new stud materials to get something ridiculous that affects over 120 catalogued folkloric monsters. Since you just need a few little studs you could even get some really expensive materials like meteoric iron (a thumb tip sized meteorite can still cost like 10-20 bucks I think). I could somewhat feasibly make a weapon that affects every monster ever thought to walk the earth, from vampires and werewolves to jinn and jiangshi and even mankind.

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“underage woman” CNN are you fucking serious? a girl? a high school age girl? a kid too young to buy cigarettes or a lottery ticket?

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I responded to a call about a dead harbor seal on a beach & I went out to see whether it was still retrievable for a necropsy and one of the caller led me out about half a mile on this craggy beach covered in huge boulders & treefalls. I was feeling antsy because I had very little time to inspect the seal before an important appointment I could not miss (I didn't say that & was acting completely casual) but we couldn't find the seal anywhere (I did see a photo and it was 100% deceased). finally, we concluded the incoming tide must've swallowed it and I looked at my watch and I said "well. you live here. are you good to walk back on you're own because I'm late for something" and they said "oh, yeah totally" and I said "great! thanks for calling the stranding hotline!"

and then I just burst into a full sprint, hard as I could, which required me to actually do some ultimate ninja warrior competition parkour over boulders and enormous logs. just vaulting things. sorta tripping down the beach at 100 miles per hour. in full view the entire time for half a mile until i veered into the woods. i keep thinking about how ridiculous that must have looked.

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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Damn

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types of guns rated by their names

machine gun- 0/10. all guns are

shotgun- 0/10. all guns do

revolver- 10/10 fuck it sure is

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Art by Essi Välimäki

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ever since i was a little girl i always dreamed of becoming a provincial warlord

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they inventeed a new science called "dont let the balloon hit the floor" scientests are being vaery careful and bapping that thing before it can fall jumping over the couch and shit

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