#really this was just a prolonged way of telling you guys even MORE very specific hcs i have for them

[yandere-daydreams]

i can only guess that the currect poll results are resulting as they are because 1. people love desperate puppy boys and potential crying while knotting (maybe that's just me) and 2. a surplus of dommy foxboys and yandere kitsunes in fanmade media has burnt them out.

what where all you all finding these foxboys. am i the only one that's not getting foxboy burn out. are you keeping them in a basement or something where are they.

[philosophiums]

Megumi Rant bc I'm So Tired

I was gonna talk about 271 and the ending chapters of JJK in general, specifically focusing on how Shonen Jump puts a hard end date on each series it publishes (which are based on conversations with the mangakas, sure, but with no leeway once it’s determined because SJ wants to keep cycling through new publications in order to keep making money - and those hard line end dates cannot possibly account for, say, sudden illness that would prevent a mangaka from releasing a chapter) and how it’s the best end to the series that many fans could have asked for given that info, but I’m tired and I don’t feel like yelling at a wall, so here’s a rebuttal aimed at a lot of Megumi hot takes™ I’ve seen since, really, 269 dropped.

Obligatory thing up front bc I know the JJK fandom hates reading and critical thought more than anything in the world, and that it operates on a very "but what about me" mentality: It's totally fine if you are dissatisfied with JJK in general or even just the ending. It's totally fine if you have mixed feelings about the way the story was wrapped up. It's totally fine if you think it could have been handled better even given the above information in the link above on how SJ operates. I'm not telling you to feel a certain way, but I'm walking you through the end of the story (read: Megumi's character specifically) bc I am so fucking tired of reading bad takes about "Gege hating Megumi" or whatever.

Holding everyone's hands as I go through these. Let's take these steps in shedding directionless rage together.

(Forewarning that this is long as hell. Gomen.)

Common Argument Number 1: Megumi didn’t have a character arc/didn't grow as a character

The first thing that needs to be understood to realize why this is wrong is that all of the characters in JJK have arcs based around power - gaining it, losing it, being overwhelmed by it, and so on. This is not new information as of the last few chapters; we've known for years now that JJK isn't a story that's focused on deep introspection nor prolonged emotional development. Power. Cursed Techniques. That's where Gege kept his focus. However, it's impossible to write a story with heavy themes of loss and fear and love without touching into a character's emotions at all, some of which become central enough to turn into arcs. (We'll circle back to this in just a moment.) The second thing that needs to be understood here is that, in the general sense of All Media (and not just JJK), not all character arcs have to span the entire length of a story. A full and complete character arc (which is to say, the movement that happens while a character is actively changing) can happen in half of a story or less, and it is no less satisfying for having done so. Now, what does all of that have to do with Megumi? Very explicitly, it means that Megumi not only experiences growth as a character, but that he also goes through not one, but two character arcs. ((He's not the only character with two arcs, but he's the reason for this post, so you guys can track down the others on your own.)) Both of his arcs are complete, in my opinion, even if they're not 100% satisfying. But satisfaction isn't the argument here, so we can touch on that later. Maybe. Megumi's first arc (his power arc) starts right out of the gate, but it doesn't begin to take shape until the chapters at the detention center (I would argue it specifically starts to become an "arc" [which is to say, experiences movement] right at the point where Yuuji dies - this is the inciting incident in Megumi's story), and it concludes during the Culling Games (the exact place of it's conclusion is a little waffle-y for me but it's between either the moment he is able to use his technique to beat someone solo within the depths of his shadows OR the exact moment that Sukuna looks at him and thinks that he's strong enough now to be Sukuna's vessel). This arc follows Megumi coming to terms with the reality that if he wants to save people, he needs to get stronger and he needs to get more in touch with the side of himself that is/creates his CT. And he accomplishes that. Is there more growth in this department that he could have had? Yes, absolutely. Taming Mahoraga, a fully realized domain expansion, etc. All of that could have happened, but none of that needs to happen in order for this arc to be complete. He sought power, he got power, and he used it to save people. That's a fully realized and completed arc. Megumi's second arc (his emotional arc) happens during the time Sukuna is wearing him like a suit. This arc has nothing at all to do with anything that happens before this point in time (it has nothing to do with power, nothing to do with fighting, nothing to do with saving people). Before this, Megumi's emotional state is fairly stagnant; any goals and/or momentum that he has outside of wanting to become stronger are usually skipped over or not acknowledged at all. Once his bodily autonomy is stripped from him, all that's left is emotion. And we get to see a complete emotional arc here - starting in stagnation, inciting incident of being possessed, and then the slow chipping away of his resolve as Sukuna kills his sister and performs a ritual to suppress Megumi's soul completely. Megumi is at his lowest point here, but he overcomes it and chooses to live. That's a complete arc. That's a conclusion. No amount of wanting him to mourn Gojo or of wishing for This, That, or The Other things change the fact that his arcs do in fact reach natural conclusions within the story.

Common Argument Number 2: Megumi didn't have a satisfying conclusion

I think this argument is a bit of a pull from a misunderstanding that revolves around argument number one. People are looking for an arc that is wrapping up in the final chapters, and they're upset that they're not finding it. And the reason they're not finding it is because, as mentioned above, Megumi's arcs concluded before he regained consciousness post-Shinjuku. Also, this may come as a shock to some people, but "satisfying" is relative. Which also means that I can't exactly argue against what people are feeling, because in this specific instance, it's all feelings based. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!! I already covered that Megumi fully concluded both of his arcs, so it's not that he's lacking in power or emotional development. I think what people get stuck on is what Megumi says before he begins to fight back against Sukuna: that he wants to try to live for someone else. A lot of readers seem to take this as a step backwards for him, a return to who he was before everything in the story, but I disagree. I think it's actually a large step forward for him and, beyond that, I think it's realistic beyond simply satisfying the narrative. At the beginning of the story, Megumi is living for nothing. It's common for the fandom to think he's living for Tsumiki, but she's fully comatose and cursed; I doubt that he's living for her. At most he's living just in case a miracle happens and she wakes up, but that's not living for her. He's in what I think of as a transitional space, and he's stuck there. He's the only one in his year at Jujutsu Tech, he's not trying to develop his CT, he's just existing - going on missions and rolling his eyes at Gojo and doing school work. At the end of the story, Megumi actively chooses life. He had a way out, he felt that in many ways he was already dead - or at the very least, that he was irredeemable and better off dead. But he chooses to live. He chooses to fight back. And, more than that, he chooses to become an active participant in life. Yes, for him that means living for Yuuji, but even that still requires wanting to keep going, wanting to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He wants to face the world and all it has to offer - despite all the bad, and maybe in spite everything he went through. That's a satisfying character conclusion in my eyes. Everyone wants realistic representation of the struggle surrounding mental illness and how victories with them are not as "grand" as for neurotypical people until they're actually presented with realistic representation. Then all of a sudden it's "bad writing" and "unsatisfying" because the character didn't end the story without any gaps or holes and with a perfect little bow wrapped around their neck. God forbid there be an implication that a character gets to continue to live and grow beyond the last page. Anyway, just because he didn't have the conclusion you wanted for him that you built up in your head after years of living with the fanon version of Megumi you created doesn't mean his conclusion was bad or unsatisfying.

Common Argument Number 3: Megumi's characterization went right back to how it was during the Culling Game arc

...Duh??? I mean... where else was his personality and his behavior supposed to go? He spent a month completely suppressed by Sukuna. The only thing he was going to do without intervention is regress, not progress. What happened to Megumi when Yuuji reached out to him was him coming back to himself - and the only "himself" he had in recent memory was who he was immediately before Sukuna took over. Character progression cannot happen in stagnation, and stagnation is all Megumi had while he was suppressed in the bath™. Expecting any of that to change him for the better or to push him in any "forward" momentum is, quite honestly, ridiculous. The only direction Megumi could have gone is backwards, and he is (which means also we are) just lucky that he was able to be dragged into the version of himself that had already grown and that was waiting for his return.

Common Argument Number 4: Megumi didn't do anything during the fight against Sukuna

What gets me about this stance is that it seems to be the only one shared between the "shonen bros" who only read manga for the fight scenes and the hardcore Megumi stans who wish so desperately that he was the main character of the series. But like... what do you want him to do, here, exactly? Somehow find within himself the urge to get up and fight what seems to be a losing battle after watching his own hands kill not only his sister but the most prominent adult figure in his life? Resist all on his own (with no prior arc moments to support it) whatever mystical magical bs makes the bath™ work in keeping his soul suppressed? Do you want a good and well-structured character arc with logical emotional weight, or do you just want your favorite character to defeat a villain that is not "his" villain? I'll wait. Megumi's struggles during this story arc are internal, and his inability to fight is reflective of that. If he were to be resisting against Sukuna the whole time - trying to wrest control of his CT back or attempting to attack Sukuna's soul himself - then we would still be sitting in his power arc during this time. Megumi's inaction is physical representation of the inner turmoil and struggle that he was in during the fight, and I don't think that's very hard to understand. He is fighting; it's just that he's fighting himself. And he wins that fight. And he does do something in the fight against Sukuna. I firmly believe that Megumi choosing to live sealed the deal on Sukuna's death. Why else would Sukuna have been panicking so hard and doing everything he could to keep Megumi depressed and stuck in the ruts of his mind? If Megumi hadn't chosen life, hadn't decided he wanted to keep fighting in that moment, Sukuna would still be kicking. I don't think it's a stretch, actually, to say that Megumi delivered the blow that weakened Sukuna to Yuuji's kill shot. Megumi was integral to the fight - he just needed to go through his emotional arc first.

I'm sure I'm missing things, I'm sure I forgot things. But this isn't college and I'm not writing for a grade. What I am is tired of both Megumi hate and Gege hate. Megumi is a well-written character who is good representation of depression (at minimum), and who is also not the fucking main character. Like, I'm sorry that the character you project your mental illness onto acts mentally ill, and I'm sorry your favorite character is a side character who is written like a side character. These things tend to happen.

Yes, obviously, more could have been done with him and the wrapping of his character (and all of the characters) if the ending wasn't rushed, but that's not Gege's fault. Blame capitalism if you want to point fingers. JJK isn't the first manga with a rushed ending for exactly that reason, and it won't be the last.

Okay, I have to force myself to stop talking or we'll be here forever but:

The ending of JJK is not "bad writing," it's the best outcome that could have happened given the time constraints and publication constraints.

I agree that it would have been nice to see acknowledgements from the characters of the trauma they went through, but also I think that those things realistically take time. I don't think it's unreasonable that their first instinct would be to pretend that everything is normal for as long as they can. However, Megumi was not handled poorly, and he was not abandoned by Gege, and Gege does not hate him. He was well-written start to finish, and he was given a lovely ending that leaves his future wide open for possibilities.

Take a deep breath and stop trying to be the loudest voice in the room. Look at the text and supplement it with reality and the hard truths of a really shitty work culture, and understand that being upset is valid, but it's not valid enough to justify seething hatred for a mangaka whose entire work you probably read for free <3

[gojowh0rcs]

What kind of lover he’d be: Gojo Satoru

18+

Contrary to what could be assumed, I picture Gojo to be a relatively gentle lover. Gentle, affectionate, but by no means cautionary with his physicality. His very presence could even be overwhelming.

He has a habit of surrounding his s/o. He nearly always finds an excuse to discover his hands on them, to step within their vicinity, to fiddle with whatever they’re focused on. Whether as innocuous as setting his hand on their head, or peeking over their shoulder at what captures their interest, to wiggling his (most times, cold) fingers up their shirt, or resting an elbow on their shoulder. Gojo can’t really help it. It’s innate to him. Once he’s found someone to care for without reserve, nearly all his pent up affection acutes to them.

Because let’s face it. This man is definitely touch-starved.

If his s/o was someone who didn’t do well with physical affection, sorry to say but Gojo probably doesn’t really care too much. He thinks he could condition them to his affection through prolonged exposure. He might respect their boundary for awhile, more specifically if their relationship was still new and fresh (or more likely before they even got together), but he’d eventually start to cross the space between them through every minor interaction. It’d be gradual, but Gojo thinks what’s the fun in having a partner if you can’t really touch them all the time outside of sex. That’s kinda whack to him tbh.

It’s not even limited to just cuddles. Gojo just likes to touch them. His arm drapes behind them on the couch when he sits next to them, his knee slouched against theirs. Sometimes he’ll slide their legs to settle on his lap, his hand resting on their thigh while they talk. Or he’ll absentmindedly play with their fingers. If his s/o is particularly flustered by it he just goes hm? (((:

He’s honestly a little innocent about it. Until he’s not. But with someone as ambiguous as Gojo, it’s kind of hard to tell which way he means something.

With his more reproachable touches, it’s often too late to tell just where he’s going with it until his s/o is naked and panting beneath him. He’s a crafty guy. Coy, too. I think it’s hard to tell when he might be a little horny because nothing upon his initial disposition quite betrays him. He’s always playful, always affectionate, always teasing, and his gaze is nearly always obscured.

On days that it’s not, it’s easier to gauge. There’s just something a little softer to his eyes---a little heady. And they’re locked in on his s/o with a muted intensity. It’s easy to feel shy under a look like that, but any reticence will only serve to encourage him. 

I think Gojo is a very nuanced character, and the expression of his feelings mirror that. He isn’t one for vulnerable conversation on his behalf. But he often humors his s/o; sits and listens to them talk about whatever they feel or want. His more tender endearments are concentrated to his affection. It succeeds his words. He won’t complain if they’re seriously upset and push him away, but some part of him is definitely :((((( y u do dat >:((((( (he’d settle for upping his dosage on affection later to balance it out cuz you can’t escape him >:/)

I also don’t think he’s much for PDA for practical reasons? Sure, he’s still the strongest, and there isn’t anyone Gojo fears he couldn’t take. But his s/o is different. They’re not as strong as him. If they were a jujutsu sorcerer too (and specifically a reputable one at that), he’d feel a little more reassured, and he’d be more likely to give in from time to time. But by the off chance that they’re a regular human, Gojo tends to limit his affections to his or their home, or safer, more secluded environments. It’s a paranoia thing. Even with a gaze as vast as the Six Eyes, he still doesn’t know exactly what another person might be thinking if his relationship with Geto was anything to go by. He doesn’t want to risk it, and he knows there is a massive target on his back being who he is. He probably doesn’t even introduce his s/o to his students but he rationalizes that his students needn’t know about his private affairs anyway. They make jokes about him still being single and he’s like (((: 

On the other hand, Gojo with a s/o who is just as affectionate if not more??? Oh he LOVES it. Even more so that they’re equally as appreciative. They just close their eyes and tilt their chin up and Gojo peppers their face with kisses automatically. His chest swells with fondness if they do it back on days he’s not expecting it. Honestly with a just as affectionate s/o it almost always leads to sex if they initiate contact cuz Gojo gets so overwhelmed with those warm excited feelings it all just shoots down to his dick and oops now he’s fucking them against the wall and swallowing their moans.

He doesn’t think it’d get him that riled up at first but they just end up getting carried away and what would be a cute wholesome moment turns into something almost depraved as Gojo realizes his desperation for them. Don’t get on his ass too much about it, even he doesn’t really know what overtakes him in those moments. Poor baby just starved lmao

When it comes to a partner who prefers PDA, it’s rude but Gojo will straight up ignore them if he has to. Like if his s/o is looking at him expectantly or waiting for him to grab their hand he just pretends he doesn’t see it and carries on about his day. Comes across as facetious as he usually does in the eye of public. Sorry babe but your safety precedes your needs and Gojo always has his priorities straight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ might give you that good dickin at home to make up for it tho 

[jademint2581]

Kai Satou (YTTD) bedroom headcanons:

WARNING seggs benedicc recipe ahead. spicy. +18.

Can be applied to any pairing that includes Kai Satou (f/m, m/m, gn/m, as well as "/Reader" or "/OC")

some keywords: edging, dry humping/clothed, petplay (mild), praise, oral, bedtalk, romantic focus

Kai is the type of guy to want to completely please his partner, and I mean, completely. He's very sincere and serious about it. He's dedicated and he'll even say as much, even if he might blush and slightly stammer.

Kai is the type of dude to completely nerd out over sex. He will actually research the anatomy of his partner. We're not just talking erotic images and stories, but full on wikipickia articles and science publications, books and articles about it too.

And when it comes to studying erotica, he'll actually specifically look for the kind he thinks his partner may like. He'll be conducting his research specifically with his partner in mind.

He will try to get the potentially useful techniques down beforehand, so that he can give his partner the pleasure he 100% thinks they deserve.

He definitely overthinks it beforehand and while it's for selfless research purposes, of course he'll get incredibly horny over the thoughts. He's definitely not made of stone.

And even if he can matter of factly research the entirety of the phenomenon that is known as sex, it's not like he can just bluntly talk about it as is. It's an intensely intimate matter. He'll have to take a couple of breaths in between words if he's talking about sex using more direct language.

Fucking,,,, Thesaurus makes an appearance as well, because this is Kai.

Sex is just very important and intimate to Kai ok. He could not treat it lightly. He definitely fantasizes about sex when nobody's around...or when nobody can tell. What he lacks in real life experience, he definitely makes up in how much he actually daydreams about sex.

And alright, maybe his idea of sex is a tad idealistic, which ties to his high standards of his own ability to please.

Just...sex nerd Kai. Kai has a neutral to positive overall attitude towards sex and expressions of sexuality. It's just that he's private about it.

While Kai may shy away from speaking out loud, he sure doesn't shy away from the actual act once he drops his guard and gains momentum. He's the type of guy to go full in and actually apply his theoretical knowledge of sex he's gathered beforehand. He will completely lose himself in the act.

He will listen to his partner's noises and feel their movements, which totally egg (badumtss) him on. That's how he connects with his partner. He feels it with them, as he makes love to them.

To Kai, sex is definitely about connection to the other. Which is why he wants to execute the practical parts of it to perfection.

Kai is the type of guy to say "thank you for the meal" after providing oral. His sense of humour doesn't leave him. He might not say the dreaded p-word very easily, but he'll definitely thank for the meal and say that his partner is beautiful and tasty down there.

Kai swallows.

Eye contact.

Kai just talks very beautifully in bed. He gets even more turned on by it too because it's such a sensual thing to do. Guy waxes poetry in bed. He'll please with his words as well.

Kai is just very sensitive and sensual like that ok?

He's so sensitive in fact that he's the easiest ever to tease to the point where he can barely even move right.

He can be a total trembling mess once all his circulation goes down there. Even before getting rid of any of his clothing.

His mind and eyes as well as hands realllly work overtime when it comes to sex.

Apron tent. (I'm sorry Mr. Chidouin.)

He has a thing for edging kind of. He'll resist the temptation and control himself just to prolong the high of being incredibly aroused and seduced by his partner. Eventually he'll pounce their ass, but he likes to really put himself to the test first.

Kai is the type to withhold moans until they forcibly tear their way out of his chest. Maintaining the stoic facade, even if it's going poorly, is part of the desperation game he loves playing.

Kai will deny his own orgasm by any means necessary until it's too much. He really wants to hold onto it before letting it explode spectacularly.

Kai is a dedicated dry humping practitioner.

His prick gets scary hard. Like diamond hard. Literally hard enough to smash concrete. Potent. Nobody knows why. Maybe it's impeccable circulation? Satou genes? Chronic lack of release? Who the fuck knows. It just gets that way.

Kai loves being tempted and teased, he'll go like "Ah, why must you tempt me so..." and "Oh, I can't resist...!"

His hips get these little involuntary movements and he'll try to apologize for not being able to "control himself."

He especially loves cute nicknames to go with the teasing. It just really makes him feel loved.

STUFF LIKE "Good kitty Kai" WORKS WONDERS.

Yes, Kai will act like a kitty if his partner is up for it.

Possible praise kink.

Kai likes an intimate setting where both parties have full clearance to act cute and all vulnerable-like.

Kai loves his body being played with both front and back, if you catch my drift. He won't demand anything specific, but boy will he be happy to get the full treatment package if his partner is into doing that.

As he starts losing himself he's vocal about it, no more able to use words but instead just moaning, whimpering and keening.

Before the sex commences, he requires his partner to instruct where they want him to finish. Because that's exactly where he'll finish, no matter how lost he is in his own climax.

If he gets any of his own fluids on his clothing he gets so embarrassed about it. But it's not like he completely hates it though(?)

After sex he gets emotional and definitely wants to cuddle.

Kai may or may not start crying after sex.

After most of the afterglow has worn off, he'll cook something nice while smiling to himself about what just happened.

Naked post-sex Kai with apron. AND NOOOOOoo he won't use the sacred red apron for that but a spare one!!!!! MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

That might just be about it then folks. Enjoy your seggs benedicc.

[random-thought-depository]

Watching an X-Files episode I otherwise liked and that otherwise grew on me the more I thought about it and at the end a guy who's been prolonging his own life by killing other people is like "aging is a disease and I've found a cure" and Mulder and Scully respond with some casual deathism/use of the naturalistic fallacy ("aging isn't a disease, it's a natural process") and I'm just like...

... Yeah, reminder that "involuntary death is actually bad, not wanting to die and wanting to restore the physical health and vigor lost to aging is a rational and sympathetic and good motivation, the problem with obtaining immortality by a process that involves killing other people is 0% the wanting immortality part and 100% the killing other people to get it part" is actually kind of radical, I guess.

I otherwise really liked the episode and thought it was very intelligent though (it was "Nothing Lasts Forever"), I thought it did a really good job skewering a certain kind of Californian upper class culture:

The differences between how the male doctor who came up with the vampiric anti-aging treatment and the female cult leader he serves talk about what they're doing, reflecting the shitty gendered mid twentieth century "glamor job" socialization of the latter. The doctor talks about it as aging being a disease that comes with physically disabling symptoms and the vampirism as a cure. The female cult leader talks about it entirely in terms of desire to be beautiful and fear of being ugly. The doctor is afraid of aging because it will make him disabled and then kill him, the cult leader is afraid of aging because it lowers her social status in the only social world she's ever known, one in which a woman is valued largely for her decorativeness and fuckability, and she's totally internalized that toxic value system and therefore sees that loss of status as deserved.

The way the doctor is explaining to the cult leader how she shouldn't literally eat her own followers because she'll get more benefit from vampirically consuming them in a different way and her entire murder cult is set up to enable him and her to do that and he ends this statement in a way that sounds like he's shilling some new anti-wrinkle cream or something.

The #girlboss energy of her interrupting him telling her that to tell him he shouldn't condescend to her because he's a scientist and she isn't.

The cutesy euphemism for vampiric cannibalism.

When the cult leader makes a show of bestowing some small kindness to one of her followers in exchange for him literally giving his life for her, but even then it's really obvious that she's mostly interested in the exercise as an opportunity to express her narcissism. Like, not only do her actions implicitly communicate that she thinks her singing a forgettable pop song at him is a fair recompense for him literally dying for her and letting her eat him (though that's horrific enough!), but, like a bad lover who insists on doing something ostensibly to please you that's actually all about their own desires and fantasies and self-image, she makes even this ostensible small kindness fundamentally about her own nostalgia and self-love.

The cult leader getting confronted by Mulder and Scully, who expect to find an 85 year old woman, and if she was smart she'd lie and claim to be a younger relative or something, but no, she just straight-up tells them who she is, and I think it's cause she can't resist the urge to brag about her awesome beauty routine.

This cult leader is basically a much more malignant version of Norma Desmond, and specifically noted as having gotten her start as a child star. She's like this because she was suckled on that elitist youth-worshipping beauty-obsessed sexist value system like mother's milk. She's so awful, and yet at the same time so clearly that way because other people made her that way.

Also, one thing I liked about this episode that I also noticed as something I liked in Teliko was communicating that the vampire lives in fear of hunger; their existence is precarious.

[invisiblegarters]

Be My Favorite Ep 4

I have to say again, I did not expect to like this show this much, but well, here we are, I guess. My 2023 BL watching has been sporadic at best, and it does feel good to get back into following a show as it airs. Good prep for the glut we're gonna get later in the year, right? :D

All right I think I am going to like Max and Kawi together. Max seems like a straight shooter but not in a mean way. Kawi needs that, I think.

Okay, no, I definitely like these two together.

Man, though. I sometimes think about what I'd do differently if I could go back in time - I think it's something most people have thought about at least once or twice - and there's some, but maybe not as much as I like to think. The dad thing just gets to me, here. More than everything else. Just right in the chest.

I just really don't love hazing stuff. Don't care if it's "all in good fun" or not, it just doesn't sit well with me.

And now we all know that Piseang is going to show up, because we have room sharing shenanigans to get to.

Knot is the worst, guys. Just, genuinely. Aw, I like that at least one of them thought to ask Kawi if he needs or wants help with Pear. I mean, he totally needs help haha the poor boy is just useless at this, but I don't think he needs the seniors specific help. I don't trust them at all, mostly because Knot is involved and as I said, he's the worst.

And a wild Pisaeng appears to save the day! Bet that Kawi does not appreciate this.

Oof, this is awkward. These people are so awful, ugh.

Honestly, neither of them deserve this. This is so painful and it really doesn't need to be heard by a bunch of jerks who think that Kawi's punching above his weight class, so to speak.

Oh, honey. Although I have to say I do admire his guts in confessing. But it stings.

I have to say though that this love triangle cracks me up a little.

Okay I am Pisaeng in the bar sceen. Pisaeng is me. Kawi, no. Kawi, stop. Except I'm not also fueled by jealousy, ha.

Oh. Oh, hey, I kind of love the fight that Pisaeng and Kawi have. Because Kawi isn't wrong, is he? Pisaeng knows how Pear feels about him and he's ignoring it for whatever reason - my guess is to keep peace and to keep his childhood friend staying around/trying to keep from hurting her because he cares for her even if he can't like her back - but in the long run all he's doing is prolonging the inevitable. Then again he does marry her in the future, but yeesh, that's not great either. Because they've pretty much told us that he doesn't grow to love her. He just...apparently keeps keeping on the buddy role, taking care of her. Pear is a sweetheart and she deserves someone who truly loves her. Both of them deserve to be with people they want and who want them back.

I am glad that he did listen and tell Pear the truth, finally. Man, all these rejections in this episode.

Guys, I really like Pear. She is so awesome. Although aaaah, I really don't know if I'm into her being sweet with Kawi directly after she rejected him. I do think that she's just trying to be nice and that she is probably also making a very clear statement to assholes about where her own loyalties lie, but also please don't confuse him, girl, you were doing so well. Then again it's not her fault if he mistakes being nice for feelings. I hope that they can actually settle into a friendship, because I think they'd be good ones.

Wait, is Pisaeng gonna do one of his own confessions next ep? I was kind of waiting for it this one, not gonna lie. Might as well go for the trifecta.

...all right. I admit it. I'm hooked. Definitely in for whatever comes next.

[obislittleone]

House Of Memories (9/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: oh boy this one's rough... blood, mentions of torture and beating, broken bones, massive injuries, concussion, more blood, angst, oh and this is a spoiler but... one kiss ;)

Summary: You go through severe torture on the way to being killed for entertainment. Obi-Wan and Anakin struggle to find your location, fearing for your life.

A/n: just waiting for episode 4 guys... i am literally addicted to the show, and have watched all the episodes 3-4+ times... someone on here said it's not for the star wars dude-bros it's for the obi-ani girlies and i 100 percent stand with that

Words: 2.7k

Beaten, blood sweat and tears clung to you. You were sure you had a broken rib, and perhaps your shoulder was out of place. You couldn't see it enough to be sure, the lights were too dim, and you had taken several hits to the face, breaking the skin and blurring your vision.

You tried not to make any sounds of weakness, any cries that told them they had broken you. You weren't going to give in that easy.

It had been hours since your confession with Count Dooku. You didn't know how many, but it was long enough for the blood seeping out of you to become crusted on your skin like dirt and mud. Dirt caking your hands had to be your least favorite feeling in the world. Obi-Wan told you it probably stemmed from your youth, the days of slavery.

You shook off the chilly feeling that surrounded you. It was immensely cold here, and you wondered if there was snow on the ground outside of this base you were being held in. You thought that maybe if they left you alive long enough in these conditions that you very well might succumb to the dark side, to become a slave under their terroristic rule. You couldn't accept that there might be darkness in you, but you could feel even the slightest bit of it coursing through your veins right now, waiting to be let out in hatred and anger. You weren't sure why you never saw it before, the itch in your skin to let out all the destructive thoughts you ever had and put them to use.

It scared you, to think you could one day become weak enough to let it overpower you and take control of your signature in the force. If only Obi-Wan had been here, he would tell you that you are who you choose to be, and if that is a reflection of the light, then you will be so without struggle.

Count Dooku had figured you out so quickly, so easily, and it worried you to no end, that if you were ever rescued that maybe everyone else would begin to see it clearly. Were you so transparent that not even a blockade in the force could hide it? You didn't remember letting your guard down as the Sith Lord interrogated you, but nonetheless he knew, and he tried to use it against you. He tried to use your own anger against you, really. The darkness, and your feelings for Obi-Wan, which were both only a numb sting in the back of your mind for right now.

You didn't want to fall asleep on these thoughts, because if there was one thing you learned about bad dreams, they were most always spurred on by bad thoughts.

You were just struggling so hard to keep your eyes open, one of them burned from blood and unshed tears. You wanted so badly to meditate, and perhaps keep yourself awake through use of the force, but with your head laid atop your arm, and the silent hum buzzing in your head, you felt you could not prolong sleep any longer. You hadn't slept since yesterday morning, anyway.

-

Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. He was so sick to his stomach over his worry that he could not eat. As much as he tried, as much as others tried to communicate with him, he could barely talk.

He was granted his request, to try and find you, but that was easier said than done. He hadn't come close to even narrowing down a specific planet, and time was running out with every hour that passed.

Anakin hadn't technically been allowed to help Obi-Wan in his search, but he did it anyway. He'd never really been one for the rules, even the ones of the Jedi code.

Obi-Wan was sat at his favorite desk in the archives, looking over a few star systems that were quite infamous for hiding separatist leaders in the past. He knew he should focus on trying to find you, but in his mind, the only thing that was sat in his thoughts were the times he had you by his side. He couldn't help but use them as motivation.

If he never got to see your smile again, never got to hear your melodious laugh, he would surely never smile again, himself. If he lost you from this he would never recover. He would never be able to look Anakin in the eye again without knowing he failed his other padawan. He didn't even know if he could continue to train Anakin if he lost you. He would never be able to think straight, or teach him without knowing that he may lose him, too. He may be the reason you both die. He knew he shouldn't think like that, but it weighed so heavy on his mind, and he couldn't push it off.

"I have a ship waiting as soon as we have a location," Anakin's voice brought Obi-Wan out of his thoughts, and he was grateful for once in his life over the interruption.

"You should be sleeping, Anakin."

"So should she. I won't stand by and wait for her not to come back," he said, sure of himself as he sat down by Obi-Wan.

It was hard not to think about you every time he sat here, because though you'd abandoned this habit when you were still young, you're favorite hiding place was right behind where Anakin sat. That little unused vent with the broken wall panel that slid in front of it.

"The council did not approve your aid in this endeavor," he reminded, but knew it meant little to nothing for Anakin.

"They didn't give me orders to stay out of it, either."

Obi-Wan huffed a sigh, getting back to looking through the systems, and something stuck out to him immediately. One planet, which does not run imports, nor exports, but had a carrier ship come through transit no more than eight hours ago. The records did not lie, and upon further inspection of the exact ship that landed, it seemed to be flown by a separatist pilot and crew. Though it seemed to be a stretch among anyone else's intuition, he felt a small riff in the force at discovering about it.

"I know where she is," he said with full confidence, standing and rushing out of the room, Anakin hot on his trail. Normally, running in the temple was out of the question, as it was a childlike and disrespectful thing to do in such a place as this, but the sprinting footsteps of Obi-Wan Kenobi could not be stopped if anyone tried.

The ship that Anakin had commandeered, though small, would be large enough to fit the two of them and you when they had retrieved you.

"Set coordinates for planet Hoth," Obi-Wan told his padawan, turning on the controls that he was responsible for.

-

The hallways of the base were lined with materials that made the interior warmer for those who occupied the living spaces. The prison cells were not given such luxury. They were cold, and though your body heat was likely higher than normal on account of the concussion you were sure you had sustained, laying on the floor, where the temperature dropped even further, your skin burned with the cold that was so harshly pressed against you. The only thing that the ice like surface provided in a positive way was that it brought down the swelling of your massive bruises. You were still knocked out, which could possibly have something more to do with your head injury than your drowsiness.

You were asleep, but not fully unconscious. You still had a sense of spacial awareness that pertained to the room you were in. Maybe it was just your signature reaching out to the areas around you, keeping you safe in any small way it could.

It sensed two familiar presences, far enough out that they weren't quite recognizable, but began to withdraw itself back into you at just the familiar feeling. Help was coming.

As Obi-Wan and Anakin made their way through the base, the concept of stealth became their best friend. They had been very good at going to places undetected, and had been working on it for years, but now, with no reinforcements, or back up to call, they really had to take those training exercises to work.

"Master, we passed the cell block," Anakin said quietly, though he kept walking alongside Obi-Wan anyway. His master was so focused, his head never even turning to look behind him if a noise sounded.

"She isn't in the cell block," He turned a corner upon instinct, perhaps even foolishly fast, for he hadn't checked to see if the path was clear. "I can feel her, Anakin."

After walking a bit further, there was another column of chambers, with doors too thick to carve through. These were not ordinary rooms, they were meant for torture, and inducing pain on a scale hitherto undreamt of. Both of their hearts dropped when they realized the heaviness of the area they had stepped into. You were being tortured.

"This one," Obi-Wan stood in front of a door, signaling Anakin to use his technical skills to open it with a sliding hiss. It was only a moment before the last blockage between you both was diminished, only for Obi-Wan's heart to sink deeper in his chest.

He ran over and dropped to his knees, the sight in front of him hurt his mind and body, and immediately he knew it was because your signature was crying out for him, trying to wrap itself in the embrace of his own, because it always associated him with comfort.

He looked over your sleeping form, feeling you slip away slowly, with every second that passed. He needed to get you out of here. He took a quick glance over all your injuries and had to hold back tears, imagining what you'd been through because of him.

"I'm so sorry, little one," he caressed your face once, trying to keep his emotional side under control as he scooped you up in his capable arms with ease, rushing out of the hallway back to Anakin, who closed the doors and followed him down the hallway.

Anakin led the way, very careful on the way out not to be seen, because with you unconscious in Obi-Wan's arms, there was little either of them could do if a fight broke out.

Obi-Wan felt upon holding you how cold you were, and tried his best to wrap part of his cloak around you to at the very least shield you from the oncoming ice and snow that was blowing around when the three of you exited the base.

It was amazing how smooth this mission went, and Anakin thought about how unlikely it was. He'd never been on a mission where everything went according to plan. He supposed the force willed this mission to be a success because it was a rescue of an innocent life, a Jedi whom had been the purest among them... or so he thought.

Firing up the ship as soon as he set foot on it, he closed the ramp after Obi-Wan's entry, sealing it shut and taking off.

Obi-Wan was left to tend to you, laying you down with his cloak beneath you. It was only then he spotted the blood stains on your robes, and the sticky, dark liquid dripping from the back of your head.

He tried to avoid panicking, reaching for the med kit and taking out the bacta pads. He had been loosely informed about the world of first aid, and from what he knew, that stuff worked miracles in times where all else failed.

"Stay with me," he whispered softy, and lifted your head, first, inspecting it with a close eye and swallowing down his fear of how bad it looked. From the looks of it, you'd been hit awfully hard, several times with a blunt surface.

"How is she?" Anakin was worried too, of course he was, but he kept his composure, because one of them had to.

"I don't know, but I feel her fading," his eyes filled with tears, and he didn't know what all he needed to do, but he tried his best, applying the bacta pads and holding them to the areas that kept bleeding.

He wasn't sure, because the blood on your robes looked dry, but he could sense another harsh wound on your side. He lifted the material from your body and located the infected abrasion over your ribcage. It was clear one of your ribs had been crushed, and if he wasn't careful, it might puncture your lung, and you would die within minutes, suffocating, and chocking on your own blood. You were barely breathing as it was, and it terrified him to touch you any further, in fears he could make it worse.

"I can't do this," and then the first tear fell. It wasn't one of panic, or sadness, but of disappointment in himself. If you died in his arms, he would count it as infinitely worse than if you'd died a quick and painless death. He wished more than anything that it had been him to be captured. More tears started falling, and with your signature ebbing away at a crawling pace, he knew he didn't have any time to waste.

He ripped open another bacta pad, tearing the packaging with his teeth to avoid his other hand leaving you. He pressed the second one to your ribs, being as gentle as he possibly could.

"Please," he whispered, feeling a small spurt of your presence return to you. He wasn't relieved yet but was coming to a place where he was no longer panicking.

It took a few minutes, and then the bleeding from your head stopped.

He released his held breath when he nearly saw your body stirring beneath his own. He still held your head in one hand, the other focusing on your perforated rib. Your face scrunched up in pain, but your eyes slowly fluttered open, staying squinted at the sudden brightness of all the new surroundings. You'd been in a dark room for maker knows how long.

Obi-Wan's tears didn't stop now, but at the sight of your eyes, barely open, he smiled wide. You were going to be okay, he knew it.

"Boy am I happy to see you," you uttered, your voice hoarse and soft, the air to support them in short supply.

He didn't know what came over him, if it was just the joy of knowing you were okay, or if it was something deeper within him that inspired his actions, but he leaned down, pressing a soft but haste kiss against your lips, smearing the blood from your burst lip. He was backed away from you the next moment, already afraid and scolding himself at what he had done, but you didn't seem to pick up on the action itself, only what caused him to make it.

"I guess you're happy to see me, too."

He was, so undoubtedly happy to see you. He caressed the side of your face after he let your head rest back against his cloak beneath you. You were back out of consciousness the very next moment, and he was unsure if you would even remember the kiss he'd given you in a time of relief.

He would remember it always, the first expression of feelings he'd shown to you unexpectedly, in a time he feared he might lose you. You were more to him than his padawan, always had been, but now? Now there was another factor that he still feared was unseen. What did he feel for you? The council was right to accuse him of attachment, but the kind of attachment he sought after, he wasn't sure.

He wasn't going to focus on it right now, he was just going to hold you close to him, and not let you go. He was going to take you home and make sure you were taken care of. He was going to continue your training when you were able to do so, and most of all, he was going to make sure nothing ever happened to you like this again.

-

Tags: @spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon

[justwritedreams]

Keep your hands off my girl | Haechan

Haechan x reader, university student!au.

Word count: 970

Genre: fluff

Author: maari

Warnings: OK LET'S GOOO that's the first imagine that i wrote for nct so please be nice and tell me what you guys think, colleague being a d!ck, a very jealous and sexy Haechan, harassement but not with very specific details (i think?).

Summary: Haechan won't tolerate anyone making you uncomfortable.

"Sorry babe. I had some problems in the dorm but I'm coming, five minutes." I could hear his heavy breathing through the phone, I knew he was running to get there as quickly as possible. "No problem, I'll wait for you." I assured him, smiling even though he couldn't see it, and we said our goodbyes. I sighed as I rest my elbow on the table at the diner I was at and logged into Instagram to pass the time. "Hi Y/N!" I lifted my head instantly and regretted it, it wasn't who I was expecting. "Oh hi Derick." I smile forced, looking to the side for my boyfriend to magically appear "Did something happen? You disappeared." he sat down next to me and I moved far away so his arm wouldn't touch mine. I really didn't want to have that conversation, much less with him. "Why you ask?" "You don't even answer my messages anymore." Maybe because I had other things to do. "I've been really busy, you know." I replied, not wanting to prolong the subject, and kept looking at the door. "For three months?" accused. I was studying IT at university and I was one of the few girls in the class, I made friends with some classmates and ended up joining a group, Derick was in it and we ended up doing some projects together and that's it.  I couldn't say we were friends though.  He showed interest in me but he wasn't really my type, so I didn't respond to his intentions and didn't even try to pass the level from colleague to friend, I didn't want to be more than someone that studied with him. But that didn't seem enough for him. Derick texted me relentlessly, trying to create an unrequited bond. He insisted, it didn't matter if it was on social media or in class, and I was so grateful that I hadn't give my number to him. And when I met Haechan, everything changed. I was happy and busy with him, we had been together for three months and I spent my free time, when I wasn't studying, with him and his friends. I loved talking and watching movies together, or even cuddling with Haechan in the dorm while his friends played games. And of course I didn't even remember who Derick was when I was with my boyfriend, let alone remember to answer his insufferable messages. But it looks like he wasn't really enjoying it.

"I've been studying a lot, exams are coming up so…" I shrugged, trying my best not to be rude in the way I wanted. "Well, since we're here, why don't we enjoy it?" he put his arm around my shoulder and his sudden approach gave me a certain knot in my stomach. Didn't he realize how irritating he was? I grimaced and walked away a little, but I ended up hitting the wall and felt cornered. I was uncomfortable, it wouldn't be long before I spit in his face what I really think of him. "Can you step back please?" I asked, with the little education I still had. "Oh come on, are you going to say you don't like that?" I took a deep breath, closing my hands until I felt my nails dig deep into my skin. "No, I don't. Now walk away." I said serious but he continued with the same expression, the same cynical smile. "I just want to buy you a drink." "I don't want! Back off." "But..." "Hey, man." I sighed as I saw Haechan standing in front of the table, watching the scene with a deadly gaze. "Didn't you hear her? Walk away." I could feel the barbs of hate in his voice and I thanked the heavens he had arrived in time. ���Stay out of it, idiot." Derick responded and bent his torso to be closer to me, I froze and saw Haechan come around the table. He pulled Derick by his shirt, dragging him away from me with a force I'd never seen before, grabbed him by the collar and I saw his jaw pop and his nostrils flare. "Keep your hands off my girl." Haechan spoke slowly. "If you're deaf, I'll fix it in seconds." I felt control of my body return and decided to intervene, getting up from the stool. "Haechan, babe…" I could see the fear in Derick's eyes and as much as he deserved it, I didn't want Haechan get punished because of me. "If I see you 10 meters from her, this won't be the last time we talk." he warned and Derick gulped. "You got it?" he nodded frantically and Haechan released him abruptly. "Come on, get out of here." He spoke loudly and Derick tripped over his own feet as he ran outside. I would've laughed at the scene if I wasn't so nervous. "Are you okay? That asshole did something to you?" he touched my arm and looked me intently up and down, I felt my body calm down thanks to his warm touch. "I'm fine, you arrived on time." I took a deep breath and he hugged me tight. My heartbeat started to calm as I felt his torso next to mine. "I saw how uncomfortable you were, I couldn't let him continue." he explained and I pulled back enough to face him. "Thank God I have you." I said, seeing him smile even though he was still serious. "That was pretty sexy to tell you the truth." I saw his expression change in seconds, giving room for a smirk. "You didn't see anything yet." he replied and came over to kiss me in a sweet way. I melted into her arms, completely forgetting where I was and if people were looking. That was what I needed.

[whoree321]

the bad batch + olivia rodrigo songs

this is kinda super angsty and i didn’t necessarily mean for it to be but also idk what i expected. omega’s is cute but everyone else’s just got more sad the more I wrote lmaoooooo

Hunter: happier

hunter is def the kind of guy after a break up that wants things to be on good terms and genuinely does want to see the other person happy

like i think hunter is the most likely to want to stay friends after a break up

but he also has that pride and ego of not wanting to be replaced or wanting the next person to be better than him

he would be really torn between sincerely wanting the best for them and also battling his own discomfort and insecurity/jealousy at actually seeing them be happy without him

the balance between maturity/respect and that petty need to “win” a breakup would be tricky for hunter to manage

i feel like this song perfectly captures post break up hunter like “i hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” that’s really truly how he’d feel

Crosshair: favorite crime

i think that if crosshair got to a point in a relationship where he really cared about the other person and then they broke up he would feel very much this song

like i know the obvious choice might seem like “good 4 u” like edgy and angsty but I don’t think he would feel so aggressively angry as he would feel just really melancholy about it

like crosshair isn’t the type of guy to have meaningful relationships that he puts his heart into so if he did put himself out there and open his heart up so much he’s not gonna be able to just shut it down (even though he def will act like he doesn’t care at all even a little bit)

he’s gonna feel hurt and taken advantage of by the other person but he’s also gonna blame himself for being so vulnerable and opening himself up to that hurt

like i really feel like in the bridge where its like "everything we broke and all the trouble that we made / but i say that i hate you with a smile on my face / oh look what we became" is very crosshair. thats the bittersweetness he would feel towards someone he really loved that ended up hurting him

Tech: deja vu

this is so tech bc it is really a thorough, itemized, fuck you list

like i feel like it would be very tech to pinpoint all the parts of an ex’s new relationship that they reused from their relationship with him and just be like “hm. interesting. a big fat phony. how does that feel? to be a phony? just asking for a friend”

and that’s also something that would hurt him the most. like knowing that that person had experiences with him and learned things from/with him that he thought were meaningful and then they just go share all of it with someone else? that would be tough for him to take

the lines that specifically give me tech are in the one chorus where it’s like “that was our place / I found it first / I made the jokes you tell to her / when she’s with you” and also in the bridge when it’s like “play her piano but she doesn’t know / that I was the one who taught you billy joel”

i could just see him having detailed notes of his favorite moments of his relationship with that person (like specifically things they learned together or taught each other, new experiences they had together, etc) and then gradually having to sadly mark down when one of them has been used with someone else

it would be a really prolonged hurt knowing how much he valued those things and thought they were special and how much the other person just didn’t think that at all and continuously drives that point home

Wrecker: 1 step forward, 3 steps back

i feel wrecker here in this song bc i think of all the bad batch he is one of the most likely to really drag out a rough relationship in the hopes that it gets better

and I don’t mean that in a shady way at all. but I think crosshair’s self-preservation would kick in, tech would turn to logic and numbers and determine the costs outweigh the benefits and it’s no longer a fruitful relationship, and hunter and echo would have a weird honor code of like “I cannot allow our relationship to cause pain any longer”

but wrecker

wrecker would just be so head over heels and desperate to go back to good times bc he just loves so fully and completely. he falls fast and hard and it would be difficult for him to accept that a once-happy relationship just isn’t salvageable

the line that gets me is really in the chorus like “do you love me, want me, hate me / boy I don’t understand” bc I think that’s exactly how he would feel

wrecker would just be so sad and confused and he would know things were going wrong but it would just be such a whirlwind and he would want it to work out so much that he would let himself stay in an unhappy situation for too long

Echo: traitor

echo is an extremely loyal person and he values loyalty in a relationship so much

when he loves someone and dedicates himself to someone, it is really hard to break that bond. he will stick by them through almost anything

one of the few things that is unforgivable in a relationship to him tho is infidelity. so the hurt and anger in this song I think is something he would really feel in a relationship that ended in a similar situation

like if echo’s s/o was unfaithful to him, even if they didn’t technically cheat on him, it would really cut him to the bone. he couldn’t imagine doing that to someone else and I think he would feel that betrayal from them really deeply

the line in this one that sold it is in the last chorus when she changes it a little and goes “you gave me your word / but that didn’t matter”. like the way she says it is so hurt and that’s how he would feel

losing someone he cared about would really sting for echo (he’s already lost so much), but losing them bc they betrayed his trust, knowing that he really believed in them and he really thought they were someone he could put his faith in and then being wrong? it would be devastating to him

Omega: brutal

this song really captures that chaotic panic of being young and coming into yourself and the world

i think omega is a little young at this point to be feeling a lot of this just yet, but when those teenage hormones and angst settle in this one is gonna hit different for her

it’s just a really good depiction of that like self-consciousness and anxiety of adolescence where you’re so hyper-aware of your flaws and you feel like everyone is looking at you and judging you all the time

and in omega’s position, I imagine when she enters that time in her life it’s gonna feel pretty intense. you can already tell she feels some of it just bc of her life situation and experiences but once you add in the normal hormones and psychological changes it’s gonna be crazy

the most omega line in this song is when she goes “i’m so tired that i might / quit my job start a new life / and they’d all be so disappointed / cause who am i if not exploited?”

LIKE THATS LITERALLY HER @ THE KAMINOANS IN THE FIRST EPISODE THATS BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

basically it would be her teeny bopper anthem and i love it for her

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile -- Eijiro Kirishima

Ahhh I finally finished this one! I love my loud red boy bless him

For @shorkbrian !!

Tws:  Fem reader, yandere, delusional mindsets, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking, mentions of death, normal yandere content, mentions of a high school setting

Tws (below cut): Noncon, throatfucking, pain content

This is also the first time I'm including my new severity scale (which I just made a post about before this one) in a profile!

================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 6 Brutality: 5 Physical capability: 9 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 5 Sexual sadism: 6 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's actually not one of the yanderes that stalks from a distance - he's not so nervous that he can't approach you, no, he's comfortable enough to talk to you in person. Being away from you physically is almost painful, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He's also one you might catch onto a little bit, because he's just on the border of being a little lacking in self awareness to the point that he doesn't always realize when he's smothering you. Of course, it aligns well enough with his general personality that you won't think too much of it, just that he can be a little overbearing or clingy.

That being said, he does do his fair share of information collecting when you're not together. Boy is a master at data collection - he'll find socials you forgot you had, posts you made years ago, every major information collection site there is, he'll use to find everything he can about you. Your socials, your friends' socials, your relatives' socials. Even if you have one of those apps that lets you see who's stalking you on your social media, he's already planned ahead for that, and uses a variety of burner accounts so you never notice a thing.

Especially in later stages, as his mental stability is slowly worn down, he's prone to the classic yandere persona flip. Can go from his usual very energetic, spirited, happy go lucky sort of demeanor and, in very shocking and unexpected moments, become highly aggressive towards others, or even snap at you with an uncharacteristic coldness. However, he's aware enough to know he's doing it, and quickly backpedals once he does, apologizing and telling you he's just having a really bad day. Only these "bad days" seem to pile up quite a bit as time goes on.

Similarly, he becomes more delusional with time. At first he might actually be fairly receptive towards your friends, even male ones, and while his behaviors and stalking is present, it's not over-the-top just yet. It will take a few months but gradually he finds himself slipping into an increasing pattern -- just one more hour sitting outside your dorm room, just one more text, one more post of yours from five years ago, just one more of this or that and soon it's completely spiraled out of his control.

He's also aware enough at first to realize you might not be too keen on, you know, essentially imprisonment. If it weren't so fucked up, it would almost be funny to watch him - rehearsing the whole speech he will have to give to darling when she wakes up to himself in the mirror, nervously pacing, not making eye contact the whole time he's explaining himself and later finishing off telling you you're here forever with a "so, uh, yeah," and a nervous little laugh. He's a bit panicked himself but will do his best to calm poor darling down, and, as he tells himself, your initial reaction will be bad, but you'll adjust.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He's surprisingly patient and can bide his time. If you're good, he's one of a few where you may be able to prolong your freedom and evade captivity for a very long time, years even. In order to achieve this, though, you'll have to never question his very much questionable behaviors, listen to him when he says not to talk to anyone else, spending every waking moment with him, that sorta thing. So really, it only works for a very naive darling who is already paranoid of others. For most people, who will, you know, call him out on his bullshit, he'll change his mind about letting you be free pretty quickly.

This is especially true if he feels like he's losing you -- if you just get upset that's one thing, but if he senses you're starting to become wary of him or even avoid him, he'll be pushed to the edge very quickly. He's not the brightest when it comes to his methods, most likely opting for a very simple break-in during your sleep or kidnapping you on the way home sort of deal.

He was something of this "waiting period," a time some types of yanderes have where they try to be normal. These types of yanderes are most likely to start of their relationships as normal and organic and only gradually devolve, or snap, into a higher state of delusion and unhealthy behavior. He's no exception to this, and you may get a few months of a very normal relationship with only small red flags that seem to be gradually increasing. 

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

To escape, only moderate difficulty, actually. To stay escaped? That's a different story.

You see, he's got a slight predator-prey thing going on and will most likely give you a window of opportunity here or there (not a lot, only when he's carefully arranged it out). Early on he has a tracking device implanted in you while you're knocked out, but never tells you about it. He'll let you get a little ways, never so far that there's any risk, and always stays within very close proximity. Watching your worried eyes as you can't shake the feeling of something watching you, knowing you're questioning your own sanity in your state of paranoia. It's really cute, watching you dart your head back and forth into the shadows, every which way except for the actual place he's standing. Will wait until you inevitably run into seclusion, when you take that turn onto a corner with no eyewitnesses, when you duck into a business closed for the night for cover, and he'll have a hand around your mouth before you can even make a noise.

He knows he should be mad, but he gets off to it so much it's hard to be genuinely angry rather than just... Roughly exerting the pent up energy into you. Which in and of itself is something of a punishment.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

It's a mix of "more intelligent than he lets on," and "still kinda on the dull side." In particular, he's not very good at telling when someone is lying. It's honestly a coin toss every time you try, which actually makes it more difficult, really. You'll be just hopeful enough that maybe you can deceive him on this one thing, but there's a 50-50 chance it won't work. Unlike a super intelligent yandere who you automatically know better than to try, you'll keep getting your hopes up and trying with him, which ultimately results in more punishments when it fails.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's moderate on allowances, but still restrictive on contact. As in, he'll get you the things you want, especially once he's making tons of money as a pro. Lets you have a highly controlled phone, complete with internet, but given a lock to prevent commenting or sending or uploading of any kind (aside from messages to him, of course). He doesn't really care too much about the media you consume or whatnot, but if he decides he doesn't like something specifically -- say, youtube videos on lockpicking -- then he'll probably take it away for a time until he can figure out how to better control it.

He's one to let you roam his place to an extent, once again it's a case-by-case basis of "you have this privilege until you do something to lose it." You can cook and access the kitchen until an incident of you hurting yourself or attacking him. You can watch tv and roam around until you break something intentionally out of spite. That sort of thing -- he deals with the problems when they arise, but is generally fairly lenient on your allowances, so really it's very unwise to take that privilege for granted, since it's a lot more than what a lot of yans would allow.

When you're really really good, he'll definitely let you go out with him. As we'll discuss, he likes to emulate normalcy, and really likes the fun kind of dates - theme parks and movies and the like. It'll be quite a while before you get to this stage though, as he has to feel 100% confident you won't try anything at all. Of course, if you do try anything, the privilege will be lost until you earn it back. However, this will also be entirely undercover on his end, probably wearing masks and sunglasses or the like. He doesn't want people to see you with him and recognize him, like a lot of the mha yans, he fears the potential of someone using you against him.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Once again a "make them up as you go" guy. Listen, he didn't plan much beyond the initial kidnapping you and security, so there's a lot he hasn't thought about. From day one, what's made clear is you're not to leave and that you need to accept the way things are as soon as possible, and you know, be a doll and be sweet for him. As time goes on things get added -- don't look up this or that, don't attack or resist, don't backtalk him, don't give him the cold shoulder, etc etc. Over time it will amount to a lot, actually, you see, he's got a very specific image of how you should behave in his mind. Anything that deviates from that will quickly become a rule. So it's kind of like a puzzle for poor darling, you're not given an exact image of what you're supposed to act like or what you're not allowed to do, you just gradually find out with trial and error and an ever-growing behavioral rule list what is and isn't acceptable

.He can't stand isolation punishments, can't take being away from you for that long. He might try at first, but, almost comically, he cracks very early and brings you back out (just went you thought you were gonna get a break from him). It's primarily, (in our sfw section) a matter of losing privileges. To him, he knows that one of the worst punishments is boredom, so he'll take away your things that occupy you and leave you with nothing, potentially restraining you to a single room, so that you eventually cave and apologize.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He uses social methods or underhanded, subtle tricks to eliminate people rather than killing them. Frames them for stealing, or some other misdeed to get them expelled, ruins their social reputation, fakes messages to make you hate them, maybe even to make them hate you. that's during the school-age stages of things. Now, an older hero Kirishima, definitely uses his status to get things done the way he wants. Come on, who in their right mind would try to take the girl of a pro hero to begin with? They were asking for it. He has a few similar methods -- ruins their public image, frames them for a crime, or, if they're persistent enough, may very well just use a couple connections to make sure they disappear -- potentially disappear entirely, or perhaps get permanently hospitalized from a bad accident, become the random victim of some villains, etc.

That being said, during the pre-kidnapping stages, he's definitely gonna start fights with other dudes for looking at you the wrong way. Even if it's horrifically embarrassing, he thinks of it as a show of manliness. You'll eventually have to pull him off and calm him down before he pummels the poor victim of choice completely. Over time, this earns him a reputation for being insanely protective, and it makes people start to avoid both him and you, which is all the better in his mind.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

With most things, he's pretty slow to anger, tries to be very patient and understanding. You have to wittle down that patience with repeated and deliberate disobedience to get a snap out of him - which is highly possible, considering poor darling initially is given no bad reaction. You'll think he's a pushover since he doesn't get super mad the first time, or the second or third, so when he finally does snap it's pretty frightening - it's all the irritation bottled up and released at once.

He tries hard to project the image of who he's known to be - a chill, good natured, optimistic guy, which is why he manages to be so patient. He doesn't want that image ruined for you, and he's very very particular about, and worries about, the image of him in your mind. He has a deep need for you to see him as a heroic figure, to look up to him, and to see him as above you, so he doesn't want to ruin that with violence and anger.

It's usually a literal snap of some sort - whatever he's holding gets slammed down on the table, or crushed or snapped in half (say, a glass or pen). His voice gets low, and builds up into a snarl. Definitely one to grab you by the hair. Drags you to wherever he deems a suitable place to take care of your issues.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He doesn't think about these things too much, and really, he's somewhat in the middle or can even fluctuate. A lot of it depends on you. If you're good and obedient, he treats you like you're an angel, says he doesn't deserve you. Now, if you're not being so good, he might sometimes let the frustrations slip out into some bitterness, likewise muttering that you should be a bit more grateful that someone like him loves you so much.

That being said, he does want you to see him as above you, wants you to look up to him and, simply, he wants you to think he's amazing and heroic! He goes out of his way to repeatedly impress you with displays of strength and the like, and, like a lot of the hero yanderes, will frequently subject you to watching the news of him saving people. He exaggerates his heroics significantly and makes sure you know just how many people he saved, and of course, he makes sure to show you every girl that blows up his phone after finding his number somehow, all the adoring females fans, and so on, in a very blatant attempt to make you jealous -- having all those fans does get his ego going a bit.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Definitely strongly determined. He wants not only your acceptance, but also to somewhat normalize the relationship. He emulates a lot of normal behaviors like aforementioned dates, but also things like "date night" at home (cuddles on the couch and watching TV, playing games, takeout etc), little good morning texts for you to wake up to when he has to leave early, making food together. It's so tender and sweet that sometimes you could almost forget that you're being trapped against your will. It also, of course, is very beneficial for his imperatives, considering that that sweetness will only help you adjust more quickly.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Probably the previously noted extent to which he strives towards a very butchered resemblance of normalcy. It's like he wants to just be a normal couple... but he doesn't, he can't. I'd say that even he himself kind of struggles with it a bit -- psychologically, he's one of the yanderes that deludes himself because he has to. It doesn't come super naturally, it's that, being forced to recognize how unhealthy and harmful his extreme controlling and possessiveness is, to come to terms with the fact that those urges aren't normal... the guilt would eat him alive if he actually stopped to think about that, if he actually allowed himself to admit that reality to himself. So, he doesn't. He will push that thought away, even though it does exist somewhere deep down, until the day he dies. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't delude himself into believing it's all necessary, and that he's good to you. A lot of his more lenient tendencies stem from this.

It's a conflict between parts of his brain -- a duality of sorts. One part says he wants the normalcy -- he wants dates and love and sex and fun and he wants it all organically, he doesn't want to be a kidnapper, doesn't want to have to do these things. But as much as he wishes he didn't have to, the other part of him does, in fact, say that he has to do these things. Yanderes that have these sorts of internal conflicts due to a strong sense of morality (which he DOES have, really) tend to have a "waiting period," as he does, which I mentioned above -- a time where they try to go about things normally but find themselves unable to.

As a result, I'd say he's one of the yanderes that's actually very likely to start off as an actual boyfriend, rather than a stranger or a friend. He's confident enough to ask you out and charming enough to get a yes, but he just can't control himself over time.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Like some of my other yans I've discussed, he has what you call reactive sexuality. On his own, he's average for a young man, but once he has someone he really has a lot of affection for, that drive goes up significantly in their presence. There's a lot more stimulation, after all, it gets those hormones raging and the urge to fuck goes way up pretty quickly now that there's an availability.

He's moderate-to-heavy on the perversion for what you'd expect from a guy like himself. He's far from pure but he knows exactly how to teeter the line of being just gross enough to make you squirm and blush without being such a horndog that he actually offends you or drives you away. Not that he won't push that line as far as he can, constantly testing your boundaries.

As for touchiness, oof he's VERY touchy. Poor darling. It, like many things, increases with time in the pre-kidnapping stage -- even from the get go he's prone to slinging an arm over your shoulder or leaning on you, but that progresses into gradual soft gropes that you almost feel like you imagined, and extended touches, hands gripping your shoulders, etc. Post-kidnapping, very touchy all the time. Very much a cuddler and likes to grab at everything he can when he does so.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

It's eh, moderate, but ultimately, as in yandere nature, force will be used if necessary. He's so sweet about it at first that it almost doesn't even feel like it. He tells himself you're afraid, and any lashing out is just because of that. Even if you say he's the problem, he thinks that's just because you're embarrassed to admit you're scared. Everything you can come up with, he'll loop back to that rationalization. It helps him get over any potential guilt he'd otherwise have, which he certainly would if he didn't lie to himself.

He's so sweet about the whole thing its nauseating for poor darling. Wiping away any tears on your face, taking a long long time to prepare you up with fingers and touches and words, and telling you it'll be ok, that it only hurts for a second, that he'll make you feel so good, that you'll be happy this happened just as much as he is.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

This boy just... saying he wants you to blow him is understating it. He wants to throatfuck you -- grab you by the hair and use your face like a toy. In the beginning he'll be gentler, but he fantasizes about reaching a point at which he can really just go at it, train your gag reflex to be virtually non-existent. He likes to cum down your throat, but even more he loves pulling out at the last moment and telling you to hold your mouth open and tongue out, jerking off onto your tongue, getting some on your face, and telling you to swallow.

Roleplay/Lingerie

Specifically, he'll get into anything service related. Maid outfits galore. He loves treating you like a doll, really, dressing you up in whatever newest lewdest thing he can find. Definitely keeps up with the newest outfit trends of the egirl type of sphere -- loves the things like thigh highs, virgin killer sweaters, garters, anything of the sort. Very much into the "cutesy" type of stuff on you, expect lots of pastel colors and soft fluffy things. Also 100% will get a tail plug and animal ears of some kind. And it's not just for looks, he likes you to act out the role, too. He's actually super-blushy about the whole idea at first, but he does like the idea of being called "Master," especially when it's all soft and embarrassed coming out of your own mouth. 

Size difference/strength difference

It ties back into the thing of wanting you to look up to him. He loves loves loves seeing the faces and the little squeals you make for him when he gives you displays of raw strength - and he'll be sure to frequently remind you of exactly how strong he is. Standing-fucking, slinging you over his shoulder when he's dragging you back home, picking you up and throwing you on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and lifting your entire body up and down when you're on top of him and using you as effortlessly as if you were a near-weightless fleshlight.

No matter which size you may be, he loves it whichever way. If you're tiny and short it gives him an automatic power rush, but if you're larger and taller he loves that too - it gives him a massive ego boost that he can pin you down and control your body with such ease, bonus points if you thought he couldn't since you're bigger than he is.

Size kink pt 2

Also a size related thing, but specifically dick. Listen I refuse to believe this man doesn't have a girthy, thick dick. And he loves the things it can do to you -- the way you gasp and shudder, even little whimpers of pain. He feels bad if there's any pain, but he can't help but get off to the squeals just a little bit, the tears in your eyes are just so cute. Definitely loves making a visible bulge on your stomach, and will make sure you see it too, holding your head in place to force you to watch your stomach bulge every time he thrusts in. Bulging your throat is equally hot, as mentioned above. And he loves the way that there's just that slightly visible gape for a few minutes after he pulls out as your body adjusts.

Threeways

Perhaps very rare for a yandere, he's one of a few that isn't 100% opposed to sharing, provided it's with special individuals, namely a certain blonde friend. Not so much in the relationship aspect, but a sexual one, and it's very well-controlled on his end, with him having the ultimate power over the whole situation. There will always be things that only HE can do to you that no one else can, of course, and it's all only with those he trusts to never spill about your existence. Still, he just really really likes seeing you get spitroasted, really. Can you blame him?

And of course, he'll make sure to get reassurance from you that you only love him and don't care about Katsuki at all, and if he ever gets even the slightest feeling that that might not be the case, it's a kink he'll give up easily if it means soothing the potential raging jealousy.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He actually really, really likes the thought of being a dad. It's sort of a pride thing, having a family he can love and support (it's not like you're gonna be allowed to work), showing you off to everyone. And of course, the emotional attachment you'll undoubtedly form, the dependency you'll have on him. 

Getting to watch cum drip out of you and never having to pull out is a nice bonus, too.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Big into overstim. It's perfect because it's a punishment that is both effective, doesn't technically hurt you, and releases all those good chemicals all at the same time. He doesn't initially want to hurt you too bad, but, if you're really bad -- either in terms of the severity of the offense or the number of times you continue to do it -- he can reach a point of anger at which he'll resort to impact-pain-based punishments, too. Ever the sweet one, he actually does research first to make sure he won't go too far and seriously injure you, but once's he's made all the right purchases, I could see him settling on riding crops, he will make you hurt.

And, really, because it all gets him off at the same time -- the strangled little cries and mewls and whimpers are so much hotter than they should  be. He likely blindfolds you the whole time, partially to increase your fear and anticipation, but also so that you don't know he's jerking off to the whole thing.

The aforementioned throatfucking is also an effective and very quick, straight-to-the-point punishment when need be. If he's super mad and doesn't have the self control to take you elsewhere he may very well just dump you on your knees and demand you open your mouth or else you'll be in for a lot more pain. If he's in that kind of borderline-sadist mood he can get cruel with it too -- cumming in your mouth but not letting you swallow, making you hold the gross taste against your tongue for several minutes, or, his favorite guilty pleasure he feels too bad making you do most of the time, slamming your face all the way down and holding his cock all the way down your throat, perfectly still. No matter how hard you try to pull back or beat on his thighs, he has an iron grip and will hold you there until you nearly pass out.

Also, hell, just fucking him can be a punishment if he wants it to be. He can manhandle you with such a brutality and strength that it's genuinely painful. You want to know what it feels like to have a, literally, rock-hard dick ramming into your cervix?

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Very much a thigh boy. Not only are they soft and pillowy, but he loves to bite and suck at the insides of your thighs and leave lots and lots of marks. They're just as much for you as they are for him. He makes sure you always wear shorts or short skirts (or nothing is fine too) to make sure said marks are always within your vision.

[mieohmy]

𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖨 𝖲𝖺𝗐 𝖸𝗈𝗎 | 𝖧𝗎𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗎𝗇

PAIRING: huang renjun x temp blind! reader

GENRE: angst (with a happy ending), fluff, humor, strangers-to-lovers, shared dreams! au, soulmate! au, college au

WC: 7.6k

NOTES: reader is temporarily blind, cursing, mentions of a car accident, trauma, slight anxiety and depression, mentions of injuries/hospitals

SUMMARY: dreams are your place where you feel alive -feel like yourself. the only place you can still see. which means you don’t want to share them. not with this random guy who keeps appearing in them, and especially not since he seems so real -almost like he actually exists in the real world outside of your dreams, but that couldn’t be possible... right?

oof this is late- anyways, it’s this beautiful soul’s birthday today <3 

hbd to our fairy renjunnie ! 

Three months. Three months stuck in that space.  

And all because of a reckless driver. Like they all say, it happened so fast. A single glance of the road. It seemed clear, the pedestrian sign flashing even. 

Then was the rush of a car engine coming closer. 

You suppose it was also your fault. Whoever it was that caused a notification to ping on your phone. It was an almost natural instinct to take it out and check.

But you were never able to find out. 

One of the scariest things in the world is to wake up and wonder why the world is an empty canvas. 

Why you have so many questions that can’t be answered.  

Why you can’t see the spring anymore.

The doctors said it was temporary. Some kind of head trauma from the accident caused whatever nerves to swell in your eyes. 

And that’s why you could no longer see the day. or night. anything. 

“It’ll eventually return to normal, and you’ll be able to see again. Just give it time.”

So why has it been three months and nothing except dark moving shadows and pain?

“I’m sorry, we’re not sure how long it’s gonna last. Let’s just wait and see.”

But how much time did you have to give? 

You were sent home in the end. The other injuries were much more minor, and you were just prolonging your stay. 

Only because you wanted to know. You wanted to know it would all go away. That it would be okay.

You just so desperately wanted to see once more.

They only gave you ambiguous answers. Answers that only made the scratchy and uncomfortable sensation inside you grow bigger. 

And here you were now. Four months after the incident and barely living on your own. Sight not improving in the slightest bit.

You lived separately from your parents, far away because of college. They helped you with all the hospital and stupid complicated health stuff, but there wasn’t much else they could do. There was no choice for them but to work hard and earn money instead of assisting you since bills were shit expensive.

You assured them it was fine, you would learn how to deal with everything. 

Friends were a different issue. The thing was, you didn’t have very many considering you just moved to a new school, but the few you did were kind and understanding. 

Except you never told them about the incident. Maybe because you were in denial. Maybe cause you were ashamed of yourself for ignoring them and cutting them out of your life. Because they got to see and experience everything they wanted while you were stuck behind.

And then you were truly alone. Alone with the faint light and shadows you were still sort of able to see. 

Siri basically became your best friend. You never realized how helpful it could be. Just ask, and it would tell you everything you needed to know.

To be honest, there wasn’t much to do. You weren’t able to attend your classes for the time being, and there wasn’t much you could to do without seeing. 

It was hard to adjust to life without your sight. There were a lot of things you couldn’t do without your sight. A lot of things were knocked over. A lot of bruises on your body from bumping into obstacles. That’s probably why you barely went out, only ever leaving your place for necessary resources to live.

This is not permanent. It’ll all go away soon.

You constantly told yourself that, repeating it in the morning. At night before you went to bed. But deep inside, you knew the real reason for everything. The denial, stubbornness.

The answer was clear. 

Fear. 

The fear of a permanent life without being able to fully experience the world. 

The fear of what your life would become without having the chance to achieve all your dreams and goals. 

You knew you should be grateful. For being able to see from birth until now.  You survived your accident with mostly minor injuries. Occasionally, you would get intense migraines- one where you could barely move- but you truly didn’t want to go back to that place to get it checked. You didn’t even want to leave your home.

At least you could still move and function properly for the most part. 

But it didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt. 

There was one thing. When your eyes closed for the day- when everything was okay. 

Because there was no need to feel any emotions asleep. 

But also because of the dreams. Mainly because of the dreams.

It wasn’t every day. You would absolutely love to dream every night, but if you did, then something must not be right. 

The power to dream and be able to recall everything in the world before you lost it all would be your one wish if anyone asked. 

Sure, you could just close your eyes and remember whatever you wanted, but it wasn’t the same. 

Dreams were like a story. A story you wanted to read. And you could only do it because of your memories. 

Thank the universe for memories. Ones that allowed you to still remember and see again in dreams. 

They were the one thing connecting you to the real world. 

The weird thing is, sometimes you would dream and be able to choose what you wanted to say and do. It was just like playing a fun game where you could do whatever you wished.

But it didn’t always happen. it only occurred on occasion. Why? You had no clue. 

But even so, you’ve never had a stranger appear in one of your dreams before.

ꔫ

You couldn’t recall everything that happened in last night’s dream, but when you woke up, a strange face was the only image stuck in your brain. 

You’re sure you’ve never seen him before. 

Can brains make up random faces? Or maybe you just made up a fictional character because of loneliness? 

Either way, he’s the only thing you can clearly remember.

Your eyes flick open, and it’s the same nothingness.

But his face lingers. Pretty and delicate eyes. Brown hair that flutters in the wind and a gentle smile that sucks you in. 

Who are you? 

Whoever this person was, you hope to dream about him again. 

ꔫ

And he does show up a few weeks later. Or has it been a month? You were really losing track of the days, especially now more than ever.

This time, the image of him is stronger in your head, burning into your skull. 

And you curse yourself for not remembering any more than his face. 

You rack your brain, trying your best to just think. 

Why do some people forget their dreams immediately when they wake up? When it feels like you’re just in one, but your mind starts up again for the day, and the dream vanishes just like that?  

You so desperately want to know. 

You can faintly remember images of a grassy meadow? Flowers? You don't recall any field that you’ve been to, but maybe it’s just somewhere you’ve forgotten about... Perhaps your mind just made your dream to be located there. 

As you get up for the day, you still wish to dream about him. A dream where you can fully control yourself and find this imaginary character you created in your head. Whoever he is.

ꔫ

And the world grants you that one wish. 

It’s been a while since you last dreamed. But of course, you never forgot him. 

The setting sun is the first thing that catches your attention. 

Immediately, you smile, standing up and brushing yourself off. 

The place is faintly familiar, a beach. You know which one. The one your parents used to take you when you were little. 

It looks exactly the same as you remember, but this was the first time you’ve ever dreamed about this specific place before. 

Then sounds of footsteps approaching make you look up.

It’s him.

The fictional character somehow procured from basically nowhere. 

What’s strange is that you didn’t even notice how the two of you were now sitting by the shore, watching the waves flow in and out. 

What’s even stranger is that you don’t question it, and neither does he. 

But you do take the chance to look at him, admiring his face.

“What’s your name?”

He looks startled like he never expected you to speak.

“Oh. Uh, R-Renjun.”

“Renjun,” you pronounce. The name feels unfamiliar on your tongue. 

Now how did your mind come up with a unique name like that?

You shrug, letting the dream continue on its own. 

But wait, you realize, if you were able to ask and think your own thoughts not according to the dream’s... that means you can control this-

Your eyes snap open. You can see nothing. And feel an oncoming headache.

Damn it.

ꔫ

You want to know why you’re so curious about this ‘character’. Why you want to see him over and over again without ever getting bored.

It’s just a dream. Or, several dreams that he’s appeared in by now. 

That could be it, you suppose.

You usually didn’t have about the same person, or in your case, the same ‘character’ appear in your dream three times in a row. 

But for some reason, you appreciated having your own imaginary friend in your dreams. 

 He wasn’t a real person. He wasn’t someone you had to watch out for. You could act however you wanted to him and he probably wouldn’t care. 

Wait-no, you correct yourself. He has a name. A name that seems so far but so close at the same time. 

Renjun. 

You go to sleep chanting his name in your head over and over again. 

ꔫ

“Wait... Renjun!” 

A satisfied grin appears on your face from having remembered his name. 

You stroll along the forest path, an unfamiliar one that you don’t particularly remember ever going to, but you shrug it off and continue towards him.

It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him, not having dreamed for a while. 

His eyes widen, taking you in. “Whoa. You’re here again?” 

You frown. “Um... yes? It’s nice to see you.”

Renjun nods hesitantly. “You too, uh....”

“Y/n!” you beam. You’re not sure why you’re so happy to see him, but any company is still company, so no complaining.

Since you figured you were able to control yourself in this dream, might as well take the opportunity. 

If your brain was able to give him a name and a *cough* pretty *cough* face, he must have a personality. And what better than to get to know ‘renjun’ while you still had dreams about him?

“Do you want to walk together?”

He shrugs. 

And since it’s your dream, right? you start on the path, knowing he’s gonna follow you anyways.

You reach an opening overlooking some city. It’s unfamiliar, but the sight is too pretty you don’t think much of it.

You can’t take your eyes away, the view one you’ve never seen before. One that wasn’t from your memories, and it almost blinds you. Especially since you haven’t been able to experience anything new in a while because of... everything at the moment. 

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe.

“It is,” Renjun agrees. 

Why is it so natural for you to sit next to him, get along with him?

“I haven’t been able to go out like this for a while, so it’s a lot to take in at once.”

He glances at you.

“Really? Why?”

Suddenly the air feels tightening. 

“Um. Health stuff. I guess.”

Renjun nods. “That’s understandable. But going out might be good for you. It’s nice to get a little fresh air every once in a while.”

His words hit differently. It rings inside of you, making you sit up. 

“You’re right, Renjun. I should go out more.” Your voice is quiet but smooth. 

Suddenly, he laughs. It’s a beautiful sound flowing out in a beautiful place. 

“I say that, but honestly, I’m also holed up inside all day. I need to go out more too.”

You don’t get what he means by that- why does it matter to a non-existent person how often they go outside?- but the feeling of just being here is incredible. You can’t waste your time in this dream pondering on pointless thoughts. 

“You should take advantage of it. You never know what could happen one day. Never take things for granted.” You finish, voice suddenly serious.

He looks surprised. “Oh. I suppose you’re right. Thanks, y/n.” 

Instead of responding, you sit back on the ground, looking at the dream -but still beautiful- sky.

Your hand pats around for a second before landing on its target. Your fingers wrap around renjun's, pulling him back so he plops down next to you with a grunt. 

“Geez, could’ve given a warning.”

“There’s no need for warnings here,” you sigh. 

Sure, the clouds aren’t real, but you’ll take any chance to see something you can’t in reality anymore. 

“Y/n,” he starts.

And when you turn to look at him, his face is a lot closer than you thought.

There’s a pause. 

The last things you remember are his long fluttering eyelashes and alluring brown eyes- ones that look so realistic and strangely familiar? 

That morning, you wake up with the scent of the woods still lingering in the air and a little more ease in your heart.

ꔫ

Over the next couple of months, Renjun keeps appearing. And you’re completely fine, even delighted with that. 

Now you’re always excited to go to bed, hoping each night that you’ll dream about him. 

Even as the days get hotter and your a/c is definitely getting overused, you find yourself thinking about him and imagining if he was next to you. 

You had to keep reminding yourself that Renjun wasn’t real. No matter how much you wished he was. 

But you still considered Renjun your friend. Technically, your only friend.

And each time you met in your dreams, you felt happier and more content. You felt alive next to him, your heart that always beat faster around him only confirming it. 

Sometimes you’d spot Renjun in a place from your memories, and sometimes he would appear in a completely unfamiliar area to you. 

You didn’t care enough to think twice. A new place with new sights was a highlight to your encounters. 

And today, it was no different. A colorful park. You know you’ve never been here before, but it feels like you’ve seen it somewhere..... perhaps somewhere online? 

Ever since the second time you met him, you noticed a theme with the unknown places you sometimes ended up in. 

Mostly in nature, surrounded by fresh air and plentiful green. You were confused, but I mean, who cares? They were beautiful, peaceful. Places that made you forget everything. 

You find Renjun sitting down at a nearby bench, messing with his hands.

“Hi.”

He looks up, attempting to smile, but it falls short. “Hello, y/n.”

That’s interesting. Renjun always seemed happy to see you. At this point, you can tell when he’s acting strange or not.

You decide to play along. “What’s up?”

“Oh. It’s nothing. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff.” You cock an eyebrow, amused. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt weird when he says something like that.

“You know, for being an imaginary character, you sure act like a real person.”

“What did you just say?” Renjun stands up.

You follow, getting up and looking at him, confused. “What?”

“What the hell do you mean by imaginary?”

“Imaginary? You don’t exist -like you’re not real?”

“No way.”

Your eyebrows raise. Why was he getting so defensive over this?

“I’m not an imaginary character- you are.”

A scoff escapes your lips. What the fuck?

“Stop talking nonsense.” Even though you’re trying to stand your ground, you can’t help but reevaluate everything. You look at him, panicked but still staring straight into his eyes as if to say, stop the joking right now.

Renjun only stares at you, fighting back with a headstrong expression. “I’m not. So you should stop too.”

You place your hand on his arm, inhaling.

Renjun tries to pull away, bewildered, but you keep your grip.

His arm feels warm, veins partially showing through. Almost like a real.....no way. But there’s even a faint scar on his wrist. Your brain couldn’t possibly be so meticulous as to add such details to a fictional person.

Your eyes flick to Renjun, studying him, memorizing everything you can about him.

Your breathing is heavy as you step closer to him, almost in a daze. “If you’re not just an imaginary person I created in my dreams,” you whisper, watching as he swallows and his adam’s apple bobs up and down-

“Then who are you?”

But before he can say anything, the world fades to black. 

You wake up with an immense urge to scream in frustration but also hide away to just think everything over.

You lay in bed for what feels like hours. Contemplating. Panicking. 

This was a joke, wasn’t it? 

He’s lying. 

Just a dream? 

But this time, you can’t say that it was “just a dream..”

Your hand punches the bed in defeat.  

You don’t understand. How are you able to see another living and breathing human in your dreams? 

All the things and places you were able to dream about were because of your memories. But Renjun... Renjun was a complete stranger. 

So how are you able to see him perfectly fine?

You think back to all the previous times you met him. 

If he truly was real, then he must’ve been dreaming too? Since he believed you weren’t real either? 

And all the unrecognizable places you saw -they must exist in real life? 

That means.... you and Renjun must be sharing dreams.

There were a lot of questions. All that were making your brain pound. 

More importantly, how the fuck are you even able to share dreams with another person? 

ꔫ

You spend every night praying that you’ll fall asleep and see Renjun again. 

Renjun? Is that even his real name?

Oh my god, you don’t know anything about him. 

But for some reason, it isn’t hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that he exists. 

His reaction seemed so real -he couldn’t possibly be faking right? 

You smack your head on the pillow. Many times. Repeating, “Go to sleep. Dream. Go to sleep,” over and over again. 

Until eventually, you do. 

And when you find yourself at your old middle school- gross- you immediately start. 

Getting up, you navigate throughout the old place. Everywhere’s blurry and hazy though, you suppose it’s because you haven’t been here in a while and forgot.  

Where is he? You know he has to be here somewhere. 

You spot his familiar silhouette. Target acquired. 

He must’ve felt your presence too, since he turns around to face you. 

You’re about to say his name, but then you remember the whole ‘he’s actually a real person thing’ and then you can only splutter out an accusing “you!” with an accompanying point of a finger. 

“Me?” His eyes widen. “No-you’re not supposed to be a real person. So who are you?”

“I’m y/n.” You repeat yourself again with more force. 

“This is my dream, and you’re in it. Look,” you gesture around. “This is my old school. If I wasn’t real, could we be here at a place like this?”

Renjun falters, and you exhale. “I’m not joking. I swear. My name is y/l/n y/n.”

He holds his hands out. “B-but how? How can you-?”

You shake your head wearily. “I don’t know. I don’t even know you!” 

He sighs in defeat. “My name is Renjun. Huang Renjun. And I promise I’m not joking either. I truly thought you were just a figment of my imagination.” 

You nod, fidgeting before holding out a hand. “Well then, I believe you. Nice to meet you,” you look into his glittering eyes, “Huang Renjun.” 

When his hand touches yours, you feel a rush of emotions. 

You think he does too, judging by his tightening grip on yours. 

He quickly takes his hand away, making you frown. “And just to prove it, you know the forest we were at once?”

You nod, recalling the pretty leaves. You haven’t seen leaves in a while.....

“It’s near my city in the real world. And that mountain too.”

Then it hits you. You glance up at Renjun, surprised. 

“No way. I know where you’re talking about. You live like, a couple of hours away from me.” 

“Wait, really? Where do you-“

You sit up, feeling the familiar sensation of a blanket around your legs. 

And then let out a loud screech of frustration - while also internally apologizing to your neighbors.

ꔫ

When you meet Renjun in the next dream, you pick off where you left off, and move into telling each other about your actual lives.

“You study plants? That explains why we’re always near grass in your dreams.”

“Hey!”

“I’m joking. It’s really nice. I like it more than you may think..”

“Seriously,” you look up from your position on his lap, “savor it while you can.”

He nods dutifully. To others, it may seem annoying or strange that you’re constantly telling him to enjoy when he still has the time, but Renjun appreciates it. 

It’s always a nice reminder.

He assumes something must’ve happened to you before, but nevertheless, he doesn’t pry. 

“What about you? What are you studying?”

Suddenly, you can’t look at him. You're unable to tell him that you don’t even attend school anymore. 

“Um, I’m still deciding... it’s hard, you know?”

“I get it. Comfortably take your time. You don’t have to rush, do what you want.”

Your heart warms. 

“Can you cook?”

“Eh.”

“What about roller skating?”

“I’m a pro.”

“Bet I could beat you.” 

“Oh yeah? Just wait, one day we’ll go together in person, and I’ll kill you at it.” 

“What about aliens?”

Your eyebrows raise. “What about aliens?”

“What- what do you think of them?”

“Oh. Aliens are cool.” 

“Do you think they’re real?

“Sure. I mean, if we’re able to share dreams like this, then why can’t aliens exist too?”

You miss the growing smile on renjun’s face. 

“.... is this what you really look like in real life?”

“What- yes! Why would I look like someone else in my dream?”

“I dunno, you’re a lot more handsome than most guys I can remember..” you trail off, hoping he doesn’t catch the rest of the sentence. He does. 

That goes on for a while, asking each other random questions. But while you’re still here in the dream, you should take advantage of it. 

Standing up, you brush yourself off. 

“Huh, what’s up y/n?”

“The sky.”

Renjun scowls. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.”

And then you sprint off, yelling, “first one to the tree gets bragging rights!!”

Renjun falls halfway, and you have to help him and his dramatic ass. 

ꔫ

When Renjun brings up the prospect of possibly meeting each other in real life, you’re both really excited at first. 

But then it hits you. That’s right. You’re kinda blind at the moment. 

You never once told him about your... sight problems, probably because you first thought he wasn’t even a real person, and it never seemed important. 

As Renjun sits there, excitedly listing off ways to find each other that actually while you’re awake, you can only absentmindedly nod, a storm brewing inside you. 

It makes your insides churn. Should you tell him? 

You hated lying, but there was that growing insecurity rising up. 

What if he finds out everything and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore?

What if Renjun doesn’t want to be your friend? 

What if... 

He leaves you?

“Y/n???” He waves a hand in front of you. 

You blink. “Yes?”

“I was just talking about how it’ll take around 3 hours to take the subway to your city or, yours to mine. When we both have a free day, we should meet up!”

He looks so excited and cute, but you still cringe. When was the last time you took the subway? 

You nod uneasily. Renjun must notice your expression because he turns concerned, “Are you alright?”

You hastily smile. “Fine. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff,” you joke. 

That answer must be good enough because he drops the subject. 

What have you gotten yourself into?

ꔫ

And for the first time, you’re scared to dream. 

Scared to see Renjun. 

Stress and anxiety gnaw at your head, swirling thoughts constantly floating in and out. 

Renjun won’t like you anymore. 

He doesn’t want to be with a liar.

And after he excitedly mentions that he obtained an internship near your city in the spring, your guilt and frustration grow more.

Since that one conversation, you’ve been having more and more headaches, most likely because of the lack of sleep from stress.

Renjun’s probably sleeping peacefully hours away from you as you stay up, plagued with concerns.

You shake your head, wanting to get rid of bad thoughts so the pain doesn’t overtake your brain again. 

Think of happy things. Happy memories when you were young and carefree. 

Like.... the one water park you went to with your friends years ago. That was a good memory.

You rack your brain.

Wait a second -what did it look like again?

ꔫ

As the air turns colder, you have to bust out the old heater that hasn’t been used in years-the dust floating in the air lingered for days. 

Overtaking your breathing, your brain. 

Just like your thoughts. 

You’re still constantly worrying about Renjun.  Because of Renjun.

And yourself. 

You and Renjun. 

Renjun and you. 

All those thoughts weren’t good for you. Why you may ask?

More thoughts lead to overthinking. 

Overthinking leads to stress. 

Stress causes the agonizing headaches. 

And those headaches are the bane of your existence.

Because it makes you unable to recall. 

The headaches weren’t a big deal at first. After the car accident, the doctors said your brain seemed clear for the most part. 

But obviously- it wasn’t- since you were here now with daily migraines- the pain multiplied from anxiety. 

And that caused your memory loss.

It was simple things at first, just like what you ate for the day and where you put your stuff. (It was already difficult since you couldn’t see, and the forgetful memory was making it so much worse) 

And then it was the more important recollections. 

Like what your parents' birthdays were. Your favorite restaurant. What schools you attended.

You don’t want to admit that the only thing left perfectly clear in your brain is yours truly, Huang Renjun. 

This isn’t happening. 

Pigs can’t fly and.... you can’t remember. 

Why? Every time you try to think of something, your brain pounds like crazy.

You really don’t want to believe it’s an effect of the accident. And the stress. 

You don’t want to think about it at all. 

But sadly, you were still human and had to sleep. 

Which meant eventually dreaming sooner or later...

“Y/n!” 

Wait. What?

“What’s going on?”

No. What’s happening?

“I know people don’t dream that often, but three months and nothing from you? I went to bed, happy at the thought that we might meet again, but it’s like you’re purposely not sleeping and avoiding me or something-!” 

There’s no way you heard everything he just said, even his irritated tone that you’ve never heard before didn’t faze you. 

Due to the fact that everything except Renjun himself was a blur.

Basically- you couldn’t see shit. 

Your heart rate begins to pick up. You swirl around, squinting and rubbing your eyes like crazy. 

Why? Why is this happening? Why can’t you see the dream world around you?

But you know the reason- it’s quite obvious. 

Since your memory disappeared just like that. And without your memories, everything has crumbled to nothing. 

Ironically, you forgot about Renjun who was still standing there, perfectly fine.  

“Y/n? What wrong?”

He snaps a finger in front of you, and you barely react.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” Your voice has been reduced to a whisper.

“Listen-I-why are you lying? I thought we were friends. I thought we trusted each other enough to talk honestly.”

It’s too much. Renjun’s growing anger plus everything you’re experiencing at the moment is overwhelming. 

“Just stop-!” You screech, arms held out in front to protect yourself from everything. 

He freezes. 

And you collapse on the ground, hands shaking as you look around. Look for anything you can clearly see. 

There’s nothing.

The worst pain ever runs through your brain- the feeling to curl up in a ball and stop everything is strong. 

“Y/n- please. Please talk to me.”

He leans in front of you. 

“I- see-“ you splutter, collecting your thoughts.

Your mouth forms the words but immediately comes to a halt.

He doesn’t know. 

You stare at him, helpless. Your eyes flicking all over the place, pupils dilated. 

Renjun does the only thing he can think of at the moment. 

He places his lips on yours, and your eyes automatically close. 

Your heart steadies, adrenaline slowly fading. 

He just feels... right. 

And then his hand brings your body closer to his, making- 

You sit up in bed, breathing heavily. 

All you can think is, 

what a dream. 

And as much as you still feel the ghost of his soft lips on yours, you can’t get over the fact that everything else was blurry. 

You could only see faint lights and shadows. 

You couldn’t remember. 

ꔫ

No. 

What does the sky look like again? 

No.

Why can’t you remember the day anymore?

You spend days- weeks maybe even- trying to recall as much as possible. And spend less time attempting to sleep for the chance that you’ll have to see Renjun again. 

Your mind is in shambles. One part of you is yearning to see him -find Renjun in the dreams again and explain everything. 

But the other part is scared. Extremely terrified at his reaction. His feelings. 

Will he still- you dare to say- like you? 

I mean, that kiss had to mean something, right? 

Right?

You smack the nearest object in exasperation.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. 

Can everything just stop? 

Your poor pillow has been punched into oblivion by now. 

Either way, you fall into what could be considered a slump. 

A slump in life. 

The uncomfortable sensation grows bigger and bigger each day since the only thing you can do is stay at home and dwell on the fact that your life is basically over now.

There's no recovery in sight -ha- of your future. 

Each night is spent exerting your aching brain to recall. 

The only thing that comes back is Huang Renjun.

But once again, you’re only human. A human that occasionally passes out from the lack of sleep.

Renjun would be nagging at you. Your heart automatically drops at the thought of him. How long has it been since you last seen him?

More importantly- how long has it been since you last properly slept? 

You can’t even see yourself but you know the eye bags you’re carrying are bigger and brighter than your future. 

You call out for Siri. 

“It’s currently 3:21 AM.“ 

You sigh, so desperately wanting to chuck your phone across the room even though you know finding where you threw it would take hours. 

Pathetic. 

And then you figured you must’ve fallen asleep. 

Because you open your eyes. And at first, it just seems like another day of barely making it through life, but no- this is different. 

You’re not in your bed. You’re on a blank, hard surface.  

You realize where you are right as a familiar voice calls out your name. 

The fear that courses through you is a feeling to laugh at.

“What the fuck, y/n.”

There’s no way you’re getting out of this. 

“What’s going on? I just wanna know why. You ghost me for months without saying anything. I deserve an explanation.” Renjun’s fists are clenched at his side, anger barely seeping through. 

You sigh wearily, partly from him and partly from the fact that you still can’t see anything else except his face. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through stuff, okay?” You hope your tone is enough to tell him that you don’t want to talk about this anymore.

But it isn’t. 

“What things? You can tell me, y/n. I thought we were close enough for that. I thought we trusted each other.”

As much as your heart clenches at his words, it isn’t enough to suppress the frustration building inside you. 

“This isn’t about trust, Renjun. It doesn’t matter if I trust you or not. What does it have to do with me telling you about my life? It’s my privacy.”

His eyes burn into yours. 

“So you don’t trust me?”

“What- of course, I do! Why are you so stuck up on that?”

“Cause I care about you,” he groans, running his hands through his hair. “I care about you- a lot- but clearly, you don’t seem to return the feelings!” 

“What? What makes you think that!?” 

“Because you act like this!” He forcefully gestures. “Because you push me away without any explanation and don’t show any sign of your feelings! Don’t seem affected like I am when I haven’t seen you in months and miss you, okay?”

You pinch your nose bridge, annoyed. “Well, I’m different. If you cared about me that much, wouldn’t you have noticed?”

You know your words mean nothing. They’re just randomly produced from the deepest, darkest insecurities that are pent up inside and need to escape. 

“What’s so different about you? As far as I’ve known and seen you, you’re just another human like me-“

“-Because I can’t see fucking anything, okay?” You yell, forcing yourself to take a breath. 

“I’ve been blind for what seems like forever, and at first it was all okay, but now I can’t remember anything except you, which means I can’t see shit. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

You feel your body trembling, barely able to look at him. 

A good silence lasts for a couple of minutes. 

You turn around, anywhere away so you don’t have to look at his face anymore- since he’s stupidly the only thing you can even see. 

You don’t know what to feel. Perhaps relief for finally saying it? Exhaustion from keeping everything pent up and finally letting it all out? 

Then you recognize the sensation. 

You’re waking up. 

You think Renjun calls your name at the exact moment. But it’s too late. You’re already gone at that point. 

And now you don’t know what to do. 

ꔫ

After that, you get the best sleep in your life.  There’s surprisingly no more stress about lying to Renjun, you already spilled everything. 

On the other hand, there is his whole response. But you bury those worries deep inside. 

Maybe it’s for the better, you think. After the fight, you couldn’t the guilt go. The angered lies that slipped from your lips won’t leave. 

Renjun doesn’t deserve someone like you. 

But for once, you decide to go out. To get some needed fresh air like someone once advised you to, and also because you’re running out of food to eat. 

Before you leave, you grab the sunglasses on the counter and put them on. Most people would just think you’re avoiding the spring sun, which is exactly what you wanted.

You didn’t want them to see your blank stare and then realize that you had lost your sight. It was simply more comfortable for you and others. 

It was always a challenge to go out. Strange how normal people would never think twice before closing the door behind them and entering the outside world, but it became something you had to prepare yourself for. 

Taking a deep breath, you close the door behind you and navigate as best as you can to the nearby cafe. 

Sure, you barely left your place, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy a refreshing drink outside every once in a while. 

Two people bump into your side, and you barely spare them a second, continuing on. 

An apology is given, but you brush it off, hiding your face and quickly continuing on. 

That’s strange. One of the voices sounded really familiar, but it was too quick, and you barely heard the voice enough to pinpoint it. 

It happened all the time- if not always- running into another person. But this time, it was different. After touching the stranger's shoulder by accident, it felt like a flame burst inside of you. Intense enough to make your head spin a little and set your body alight. 

And the sun wasn’t making it better. 

Gosh, why is the sun so bright today? 

You brush it off, opening the door to the cafe and taking your sunglasses off to be polite and not seem weird or suspicious. 

You squint at the board, cautiously walking to the register and ordering. 

After they confirm your order, you find a nice spot alone in the corner. 

It’s not too busy or slow today, you note. But soon boredom overcomes you, and eventually, you find yourself staring at the entrance door whenever someone new enters for no reason in particular. 

The entrance bell rings, and your eyes subconsciously flick to see who it is. 

Wait. 

No fucking way. 

It can’t be. 

Huang Renjun?

 in your city?

Entering the same cafe you were currently at? 

You suddenly remember. One dream, a long time ago when he excitedly rambled on about that internship he got. Located where you lived. That’s right, he said it was in the springtime. And here he was now. 

A string of curses run through your brain, your heart beginning to pick up its pace in panic. 

You debate just leaving. But your order..... oh god, what if he sees you? 

Will he recognize you? Stupid, obviously Renjun would recognize you. 

What if he comes up to you? 

Shit, you have no clue what to do. 

Maybe if you just look away and hide your face when he passes, then he won’t see you. 

You look down, pretending to be occupied with your shirt and shuddering when you hear his voice get closer.

You let out a tiny sigh of relief when he passes with someone else, you suppose a friend. But it’s not over. 

“Order for y/n!”

You unleash more curses internally. Of course, they had to call your name. Of fucking course. 

You desperately hope Renjun isn’t paying attention.  

Exhaling, you try to act as normal as possible walking up to get your drink. But before you even make it there, you can feel eyes on you. It burns the back of your head. 

You scream into your mouth, teeth gritting to barely muffle the sound. 

It’s okay, just pretend you can’t see him -you already yelled at him confessing that you were blind anyway, so maybe he thinks that you can’t see him. 

It’s fine. 

Act normal. 

You obtain your order and take one step carefully at a time. 

Oh no. 

Oh no- he’s coming towards you. You can just barely see in your peripheral view Renjun approaching and getting closer. 

“Y/n.” 

You try not to stiffen at his voice. Just act like you’re blind and can’t see him. 

Turning around, you pretend to act blank. “Yes? Who’s talking to me?”

“Y/n,” Renjun says more insistently. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you. Who are you?”

And then his hand reaches out to yours.

You panic, swatting it away. 

You hear renjun's breath hitch. “Wait- how did you do that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Y-you,” he stutters, “you blocked my hand. B-but how? I don’t-“

You frown. “Cause I saw it?”

Your hand raises up to cover your mouth. 

You saw his hand. 

You can see. 

What- when did this happen? 

How did this happen?

Why didn’t you notice? 

There are so many things swirling in your mind, but Renjun calls your name again. 

You look back at him, truly look at him, and suddenly it’s like all the puzzle pieces fit together. 

He’s breathtaking. It’s so different seeing him in person and not in your dreams. If anything, you’re jealous of how much prettier he seems in real life. 

You’re not sure how long you stare at each other. Seeing those eyes that once captivated your soul right in front of you. 

“The last time I saw you was in my dream,” you breathe, “but it feels like the first time I’m meeting you.” 

Renjun doesn’t say anything, and abruptly you find yourself in his arms. 

You don’t care that you’re hugging in the middle of a public place, it just feels so right. 

You bury your face in his shoulder, unable to speak.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was just so afraid at what you'd say, and I just liked you too much and I’m sorry-“

Renjun pulls back, staring at you like he hasn’t seen anything more magnificent before. 

“It doesn’t matter. You can tell me everything you want now.” 

ꔫ

“I’m happy to report that the swelling in your optic nerves has gone down. It’s like a miracle occurred,” the doctor remarks.

Luckily, renjun’s internship lasted for a couple weeks, and you were able to spend as much time as possible with him. The only time you weren’t next to his side was when he was working or you were at the doctor's to check up on your condition. 

There was no more blankness. There were no more headaches. It’s like Renjun brought a breath of fresh air into your life. It’s almost like he was meant for you. 

You simply smile and laugh at the doctor as you think, 

Yes, a miracle did happen. One where I met the person who seemed only like a dream and learned the most important lesson in my life. 

That dreams really can come true.

Bonus : 

“Renjun, you’re going the wrong way.”

“Well excuse me for not having ever been to this place before.”

“Okay, you’re excused.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, and you grin cheekily before taking his hand. 

“C’mon, we still have to get to the top.” 

“Did you get the blankets?”

“Yep.”

“And the snacks?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got your favorite.” 

It’s been so long since you came here. Your favorite spot to stargaze. The one you went to all the time before the accident. The one you were going to when the car accident happened. 

But this time it was different. You had Renjun next to you. 

After ten minutes of hiking and Renjun complaining, you finally make it to the top of the secluded hill, the night sky seeming so close and yet so far. 

Renjun takes everything in with a breath. “Wow. I can see why you love this place.”

You feel a rush of emotions. How long has it been since you were able to come here and see the stars? 

You two set up the blankets and sit back, embracing the sight. 

He sits down on the blanket, and you automatically lie down next to him, placing your head in his lap. 

“Doesn’t this remind of you that one dream where we saw your city from above?”

Renjun grins. “I remember that. I still thought that you were just a fake simulation or whatever. And now look, we’re together in real life.”

You hum thoughtfully. 

“Thank you, Renjun.”

He looks down at you. “For what?”

Suddenly you can’t look him in the eye. “For everything. For being my friend and never leaving,” you gulp, nervous. 

“I... I love you.” 

Renjun jerks a little, eyes wide. “What did you just say?”

You breathe in, out. “I love you, huang renjun.”

He starts laughing for some reason, leaning down to kiss your forehead. 

“I love you too.”

After that, you enjoy the peaceful silence and the buzz of the insects. 

“...don’t you think this would be a hotspot for aliens to come to? This field is so vast and secluded -if I were an alien, I would come here a lot.”

You shrug. “I don’t know. But I guess I would too.”

Renjun suddenly looks at you with an accusing glare. And you catch on, smacking his side. 

“Don’t even think about it.”

He feigns ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Okay sure. You totally weren’t gonna say something about how I could be an extraterrestrial creature from another planet since I come here so often.” 

“Well-”

You stuff food in his mouth to shut him up. 

He chews for a minute or two before talking again. 

“.... what if we get abducted by them?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been here so many times, and nothing happened to me.”

“Maybe that’s because you are a-“

“Oh my gosh. Just stop. And trust me, if I were one, you would already be abducted with that face,” you joke.

You look up from your spot on his lap, staring up at the twinkling lights in the dark sky. 

“It doesn't matter, I’m not scared.”

Renjun looks down at you with a curious smile. “Why?” 

“Because everything got a little better when I saw you.” 

And the stars seem to agree, twinkling in the background when your lips reach up to meet his.

You had so many questions that couldn’t be answered. 

But maybe it would all be okay.  

Because you could suddenly see the spring again.

a/n: if you made it to the end, thank you for reading :) 

also i tried my best to research as much as i could on all related topics to this work yadaddaa but if there are errors and inaccuracies, i apologize! 

taglist: @elcie-chxn @dearseungie​ 

unable to tag: @flower-lise  

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part 1 of 3

Disclaimers and trigger warnings: 

1. These fairytales are European, although there’s often overlap in themes globally. I know European fairytales better, which is essentially the reason I’m not going to branch out too far. I opted to also stick to Western movies so as not to narrow things down, but also in particular “waves hand towards all of Ghibli” amongst many others. There’s a reason the guys in Ghibli are so gender.

2. TW for discussions of rape culture and rape fantasies

EDIT: FUCK I’M A GOBLIN CHILD! FORGOT TO PUT A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @mimsyaf​ WHO HAS BEEN THE NICEST, KINDEST EDITOR ON THESE THOUGHTS AND CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THEM AND GENERALLY IS A WONDERFUL PERSON!

Part 2

Part 3

1. Introduction

I recently wrote a little thing, which was about Daniel as a fairytale protagonist – specifically one that goes through some of the kinds of transformations that are often associated with female protagonists of fairytales.

I used quotes from Red Riding Hood, Labyrinth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Dracula, which, as an aside – the overlap between fairytales, horror, and fantasy and the ways each of those genres delve into very deep, basic questions of humanity and the world is something that will always make me feral. I will be generally sticking with fairytales though. Also I am very excited about some of those Labyrinth concepts going around!

I’m going to use “feminine” and “masculine” in both gendered (as in relating specifically to people) and non-gendered (as in relating to codes) ways throughout this, depending on context.

To be binary for a moment, because sample-sizes of other genders are low, women are usually able to fall into either feminine or masculine arcs, although sometimes the masculine-coded woman can become a “not like the other girls” stereotype and the feminine-coded woman a shallow cliché – in both cases they’re also under more scrutiny and judgement, so it’s always worth asking “is this character not working for me because of the writing or because I have ingrained biases? (Both?)”

Men don’t often get feminine-coded arcs. Because. Probably a mix of biases and bigotry. But there are some that seem to have slipped beneath the shuttered fence of “Sufficient Narrative Testosterone,” and Daniel LaRusso is one of them.

2. Some Dude Comparisons (Men Doing Manly Action-Hero Things like being trans symbolism and loving your girlfriend… seriously those things are hella manly, I wish we saw more of that onscreen…)

a. Neo

Much like Neo The Matrix, whose journey is filled with transgender subtext and specifically and repeatedly references Alice In Wonderland, Daniel doesn’t go through quite the kind of hero's journey usually associated with Yer Standard Male Hero, especially the type found in the 80s/90s.

Neo is my favourite comparison, because of the purposefulness of his journey as a trans narrative and the use of Alice. But I’m sure there are other non-traditional male heroes out there (but are they trans tho? Please tell me, I want trans action heroes).

Neo “passes” as a socially acceptable man, but online goes by a different name - the name he prefers to be known by - feels like there’s something inherently wrong about the world around him and his body’s place in that society, and then gets taken down the rabbit hole (with his consent, although without really “knowing” what he’s consenting to) to discover that it’s the world that’s wrong - not him. And by accessing this truth he can literally make his body do and become whatever he wants it to.

Yay. (The message of the Matrix is actually that trans people can fly).

Neo is – kind of like Daniel – a strange character for Very Cis Straight Guys to imprint on. He spends most of the first movie unsure about what’s going on, out of his depth, and often getting beaten up. He is compared to Alice several times and at the end he dies. He loses. He has to be woken up with true love’s kiss, in a fun little Sleeping Beauty/Snow White twist. Yes, after that he can fly, but before that he’s getting dead-named and hate-crimed by The Most Obvious Stand-In For Normativity, Agent Smith, and being carried by people far more physically capable than he is (people who also fall outside of normative existence).

Trinity and Neo in The Matrix. The fact that a lot of the time neither of them is gendered is something. Literally brought to life by true love’s kiss.

I’m not about to argue that Daniel LaRusso is purposefully written along these same thought processes, so much as the luck of the way he was written, cast, directed, acted, and costumed all came together in the right way. And this is even more obvious when compared to That Other Underdog Fite Movie That Was By The Same Director as Karate Kid.

b. Rocky

The interesting thing about Rocky is that he is (despite being a male action icon) also not written as a Traditionally Masculine person. Large portions of Rocky – and subsequent Rocky films – are his fear and insecurity about fighting vs his inability to apply his skills to another piece of work and wanting to do right by his girlfriend (and future wife), Adrian. The fighting is most often pushed onto him against his will.

Much like in Karate Kid there is barely any fighting in Rocky I. Most of it is dedicated to how much Rocky loves Adrian and the two of them getting together. The fight is – again like in Karate Kid – a necessary violence, rather than a glorified one (within the plot, obviously watching any movie like this is also partly about the badassness of some element of the violence – whether stamina or the crane kick, it’s all about not backing down against a more powerful opponent).

Rocky is played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s tough, he’s already a fighter (albeit in the movie not a great one yet), he’s taking the fight for cash – so although he’s also soft-spoken and sweet, you’re aware of the fact that he’s got those traits that’d make a male audience go “Hell Yeah, A Man,” or whatever it is a male audience does watching movies like that… cis straight men imprinting on oiled muscle men sure is a strange phenomenon, why do you wanna watch a boxing match? So you can watch toned guys groaning and grappling with each other? Because you want to feel like A Man by allowing yourself to touch the skin of other men?

Apollo and Rocky in Rocky III. This sequence also includes prolonged shots of their crotches as they run. Sylvester Stallone directed this. This was intentional. Bros.

Daniel LaRusso is not built like that. But that doesn’t really have to matter. Being smallish and probably more likely to be described as “pretty” than handsome, and not having a toxic masculine bone in his body does not a feminine archetype make. It just makes a compelling (and pretty) underdog. 

c. Daniel

So where does the main difference really lie? Between Rocky and Daniel? Well, Rocky has the plot in his hands – Daniel, largely, does not. Rocky is acting. Daniel is reacting or being pushed into situations by others. Just like our boy Neo. Just like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Snow White – just like some of the women in some contemporary(ish) fairytale films like Buttercup (Princess Bride), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), or Sarah (Labyrinth).

This isn’t a necessary negative about stories about girls and women, so much as looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), men, and crossing some taboo lines. It’s also about queerness.

3. The Karate Kid Part One: Leaving Home

Daniel LaRusso is a poor, skinny, shortish kid (played by a skinny, shortish twenty-two-year old) who doesn’t fit in after having been taken away from the home he was familiar with against his will. Not every male protagonist in a fairytale leaves of his own will, and not every female protagonist leaves under duress – Red Riding Hood, for example, seems perfectly happy to enter the forest. However generally a hero is “striking out to make his fortune,” and generally a heroine is fleeing or making a bargain or being married off or waiting for help to arrive. She is often stuck (and even Red Riding Hood requires saving at some point).

Daniel then encounters a beautiful, lovely girl on the beach, puts on a red hoodie (red is significant), is beaten up by a large, attractive bully, loses what little clout he may have had with his new friends, and generally has a mostly miserable time until he befriends and is saved by Mr Miyagi. To do a little Cinderella comparison: Miyagi is the fairy godmother who pushes Daniel to go to the ball in disguise as well, and that disguise falls to pieces as he’s running away.

Then Daniel asks for help, Miyagi gets him enrolled in a Karate Tournament, and starts teaching him. Daniel wins the tournament and gets the girl, the end.

While Daniel has chutzpah and is a wonderful character, none of the big events are initiated by him, except for the initial going to the forest/beach (and within all of these events Daniel absolutely makes choices – I’m not saying he’s passive): Lucille takes them to California, Miyagi pushes him to go to the dance, Miyagi again decides to enroll him in the tournament and trains him, and only because Kreese doesn’t allow for any other option, Ali is the one who more often than not approaches Daniel, and even their first encounter is pushed by Daniel’s friends.

Daniel really is at a dance/ball in disguise and receives a flower from a girl who recognises him through said disguise, it’s unbearable! It’s adorable! I get it Ali, I fucking get it!

Daniel’s main journey within this – apart from not getting killed by karate thugs (love u Johnny <3) and kissing Ali – is to learn from Miyagi. He’s not necessarily a full-on feminine fairytale archetype at this point, although there are fun things to pull out of it, mainly in the context of later films and Cobra Kai: the subtext of karate and how that builds throughout all the stories, the red clothes, the themes of obsession, his being targeted by boys whose masculinity is more than a little bit toxic and based on shame… more on all that coming up.

He doesn’t technically get a home until they build him a room at Miyagi’s place, but he definitely leaves the woods at the end of this one, trophy lifted in the air after being handed to him by a tearful Johnny and all.

And then they made a sequel.

4. The Karate Kid Part Two: Not Out Of The Woods Yet

Daniel’s won the competition, Kreese chokes out Johnny for daring to lose and cry, more life-lessons are given (for man without forgiveness in heart…) and Daniel and Ali break-up off-screen, confirming that TKK1 was not really about the girl after all, which, despite Daniel and Kumiko having wonderful chemistry, is also an ongoing theme. Daniel enters the screen in The Most Baby-Blue Outfit seen since Tiana’s dress in Princess and the Frog? Or that dress in Enchanted? Maybe Cinderella’s (technically silver, but later depicted as blue)? 

(Sidenote: At everyone who says Sam ought to wear a callback to that suit,  you are correct and sexy).

Surprise, Miyagi’s building him a room.

Double-surprise, Miyagi needs to go to Okinawa.

Triple surprise, Daniel reveals he’s going with him, because he’s his son dammit.

The Karate Kid Part Two is maybe the least Daniel-LaRusso-Feminine-Fairytale-Protagonist of the three, because it’s not really his movie. Daniel runs around with Kumiko (aka the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen), continues to be The Best Non-Toxic Boy a middle-aged Okinawan karate master could ask for, lands himself another Built Karate Rival (twice is just a coincidence, right? Right?), and eventually doesn’t die while wearing red again – twice: When Chozen almost strangles him to death at the Miyagi dojo and then during the final fight. The Saving Of The Girl (both the little girl in the storm and Kumiko) actually puts him in a more traditional masculine space than the previous movie did, even if the main theme of the film is about compassion and kindness and by the end, once more the boy whose masculinity is built on rockhard abs and matchsticks is on his knees. Daniel just has that power over big boys. It’s called kick/punch them in the face hard enough that they see stars.

There’s an aside to be made here about how much Daniel really is an observer in other peoples stories in this, although he is the factor that sends both Chozen and Kumiko into completely different directions in life (Chozen and Kumiko main characters when?) Anyway he comes out of it presumably okay, despite being almost killed. Maybe a few therapy sessions and he’ll get over it. Too bad Terry Silver is lurking around the corner…

5. The Karate Kid Part Three: The Big Bad Wolf

Alright people have written Words about the third movie. It’s fascinating. It’s odd. It’s eye-straining. It’s like olives – you’re either fully onboard the madness or it’s too off-putting for you (or you’re like. Eh, don’t see what all the fuss is about either way...). It’s basically a non-consensual secret BDSM relationship between a guy in his thirties (played by a Very Tall twenty-seven year old Thomas Ian Griffith) and a 17/18 year old (played by a shorter twenty-eight year old Ralph Macchio).

Also recently we got more information on Mr. Griffith’s input on the uh… vibes of the film. Apparently it wasn’t just The Sweetness of Ralph Macchio’s face, the screenplay (whatever that amounted to in the first place – release the script!), the soundtrack, the direction to not tone it down under any circumstances, the fact that Macchio categorically refused to play a romance between himself and an actress who was sixteen, no: it was also TIG coming up with fun ways to torture Daniel’s character and suggesting these to the director. Clearly everyone has fun hurting Mr Macchio (including Mr Macchio).

The point is that aaallll of that amounts to that Intense Homoerotic Dubiously-Consented-To D/s subtext that haunts the movie and gives a lot of fun stuff to play with. It’s also a film that – if we’re analysing Daniel along feminine-coded fairytale lines recontextualises his role in this universe.

The Fairytale goes topsy-turvy. Through the looking glass. Enter Big Bad Wolf stage right. Karate is a metaphor for Daniel’s bisexual awakening. 

“Oh, when will an attractive man touch me in ways that aren’t about hurting me?” he asks after two movies of being hurt by boys with rippling muscles. “Why do men continue to notice me only to hit me? Do you think wearing red is making me too noticeable? Anyway, Mr Silver looked really good in his gi today.” 

Daniel’s diary must be a trip.

[kaisa-ryo]

Itadori Yuji NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

Itadori likes to chat for a long time. Topics for communication are usually very diverse: from listing the different sex positions he wants to try, to discussing brands of cars, televisions, types of soaps and colors of underwear. In parallel, Yuji will stroke your back, causing your body to creep. So the love attraction that you already experienced with him before suddenly takes on a special intensity. When he has a need to receive your affection, he will begin to sink under the covers until he rests his nose against your chest or stomach. By this action, he asks you to play with his hair. At this moment, he may stop talking altogether, because instead of chatting, he will hum with pleasure. In addition, he will try with all his might and in various positions to snuggle up to you with his strong male body. And you will begin with great skill to stroke his hair and gradually increase the pressure in order to induce real ecstasy in him.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Obviously the hips and butt.

It is a blissful feeling when he squeezes your buttocks as he continuously enters you. And in the morning, when you start looking in the mirror, you notice that your thighs are scarlet. As you examine yourself, Itadori in the next room sees your stunned expression in the mirror and smiles proudly.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

He usually ends up on the aforementioned body parts. Although he experiences no less high pleasure when he watches how his hot semen flows down from your vagina. Or the mouth. And if you also swallow his seed, it will completely discourage him. It's so awkward and at the same time arousing when a girl literally lets a part of you into her. It's like you start making it a part of yourself. The part of his soul that passes through your body, moving on to the next stage of orgasm.

D = Dirty secret

To tell you the truth - there are a lot of them. Despite the fact that he almost always speaks with you frankly on intimate topics.

He often thinks about how he will kick you through the school desk and fuck you under the light of the graceful sunset that falls through the half-open blinds.

About how madly tempting it would be if you suck him off somewhere in the closet.

How to fuck you by the sea on soft sand.

There is no limit to these secret desires. Someday he will definitely tell you about all of them. And, of course, it will.

E = Experience

The highest level of experience in intercourse is masturbation. Yes, he has seen a lot of different videos on porn sites and instant messengers. And of course, he remembers them every single one. He has a lot of sexual fantasies. And they are all related to you. But they need to be implemented.

It will also ask you about your experience. For example, can you do a blow job. If you do not know about any sexual arts, he will certainly show you a video, explain how and what to do, ask if you like this objectively.

You can even say that he has much more indirect experience than you. But Yuji likes it. I like to teach you everything that he himself knows from the erotic videos he has watched.

F = Favorite position

In general, you have tried an innumerable number of poses all the time, but none can compare with the one when he presses you into bed from behind. When your penis plunges into the innermost and holds you so tightly that it begins to seem as if it has completely absorbed you.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

In most cases, yes. Even if this is not the first time you have been doing this, this does not mean that intercourse may not go well. But sometimes passionate excitement can outweigh all expressions of seriousness and turn it into entertainment or stress relief.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Not that he regularly tidies them up, but tries to make sure that both of you are comfortable. Maybe he prefers not to show it, but Itadori is really worried that you will be uncomfortable. Although the hair itself does not really interfere.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

Yes. And a lot.

Itadori literally melts when he sees you smile, the reason for which is his sweet and romantic actions. For him, there is no line between "boyfriend" and "spouse". And, of course, he regularly scrolls in his head how you have a large shared apartment, wedding rings, children ...

The guy is ready to even get you the moon from the sky, just to see your charming smile once again, to feel how you jump on his neck and say that you love him with all your heart. Sometimes he gets carried away - and then his hand reaches out to you to stroke your cheek, circle around your neck, say some banality, without which it is difficult for you to live. And sometimes you think that at such moments Itadori... looks a little more naive. But he does not see anything wrong with this and continues to cherish you, like the most priceless treasure on earth.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

It happens. And even after the start of your relationship.

In moments when you are far away, he records your telephone conversation, asks you to throw off your photos, turns on a home video taken once secretly from you ... then he starts "playing with his snake", quietly moaning your name. And if you start writing or talking on the phone, how much you want him now, it will just go crazy, imagining how he is fucking you on the bed right now. After all, it is such a pleasure to realize that your body receives only what you so passionately dream about and what you want.

— Mnh... yes, y/n... please continue...

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

As mentioned earlier — home video. Yuji prefers to do this in secret, since he knows it will embarrass you. And besides, you will immediately guess why he does it.

He also has one fetish that you know about. Namely — voyeurism. When you change clothes, stand in the shower, or try on a swimsuit, he closely monitors your actions while standing outside the door. So he initiates you into his intimate world, where you can become his muse.

In addition, he has several types of perversions that he considers esoteric. For example, he really loves to admire your naked body and inhale its aroma, starting from the neck. This also applies to your personal things — your scent is also felt on them, and Itadori constantly examines and sniffs your things, hoping to feel your scent. It's kind of like a drug for him, and he likes to wake up in the morning and feel that your hair is still felt on his neck. And if you put on his clothes... it seems like some kind of new fetish. Now on his things your next smell. It's fucking exciting...

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

It makes no difference. The place does not depend on the amount of pleasure received from the process. True, you still have to find compromises. Because if it is convenient for him to hold your legs, simultaneously entering your bosom again and again, then it is quite problematic for you to be in the air, holding on to his shoulders. Thus, you get less pleasure. But do not think, he is not a rabbit, to fuck you wherever he wants, the guy will definitely ask if you want it. And yes, he does have a line between "normal" and "too public."

M = Motivation

All your movements are in clothes, which emphasizes the whole aesthetics of your body. As if hypnotized, Itadori watches your curves, how they change when you change posture or movement. When you are in your underwear, you specifically approach him and start to flirt playfully. When you wear his things, as mentioned by the way earlier. And oh shit, how turns him on when you show yourself a new swimsuit and ask to rate.

N = No (Which won't do)

Anything that will harm you. It doesn't matter whether it's big or small. If Yuji feels that he can be rude to you, then he will definitely warn you to tell when it hurts. After all, on the verge of orgasm, he may not notice that you are uncomfortable or unpleasant.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

More is to give. His head is blown away because you are moaning his name sweetly and loudly, demanding more. Your morning kiss and praise for being amazing last night will give him confidence. And then, perhaps, your next night will be even better than the previous one.

Although one should not ignore his desires with needs. The guy will be very upset if, for some reason, you do not give him pleasure with oral sex.

P = Pace

In this he is a real professional Yuji knows perfectly well how to stretch pleasure and orgasm as much as he wants. A small effort of will is enough for him, which he has at least a spoonful.

At first he will start with smooth movements, and then gradually accelerate. At the same time, it will be easy to prolong your pleasure, because you will feel the strongest sexual charge directed in your direction. And with each strong orgasm, you will experience not only physical, but also mental pleasure.

Q = Quickie

From slow and smooth thrusts to wet and hot suddenness, it makes you feel your own intoxication, as if you are high. Superhuman abilities do give good results. As it turned out, not only in sports.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

In other matters, he is unlikely to refuse, since he himself has long wanted this. But Itadori is a responsible person, so he will think a hundred times and make sure that you accept the offer accurately. Do not be surprised that he will act agitated during such sex. He, like you, understands that this risk is serious and can create real problems.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

You should prepare caffeine and energy drinks, as this machine will squeeze everything out of itself, despite the fact that you yourself were exhausted already in the third round. He will not be enough all the time, and if you ever start to black out from fatigue, the guy will scream that he has not finished yet. It even forces you to limit the number of your intercourse per week, as his stamina is exhausting. And you've told him about it more than once.

T = Toys

In this regard, Yuji is more cunning and impudent. He always refuses to have toys for himself, although he himself does not mind tormenting you with a vibrator or even slipping it into your panties, justifying this by the fact that he does this to keep you close, at the same time showing his concern for you, flickering his ghost in your head. But he's not lucky that you're not such a naive fool. Despite this, the guy gets hit on the head, with a very convincing request never to do this again.

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Very much not even against, but not much into it. Over time, it bothers both you and him, and all actions cease to be unpredictable.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

Pretty loud. But in the volume of your moans, you take over.

They start with stifled growls, to groans because of how fucking amazing and sexy you are. And it all ends like a sugary, but trustworthy silence. Your loud moans of pleasure are a sign that you both were good.

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

Once there was a case where Yuji could not come. He felt that he could not come even if he wanted to. His arms and legs seemed to be glued together, and he himself froze. I started to panic, think of reasons in my head. You, in turn, noticed this too, and when you asked what was the matter, Itadori turned pale and speechless. After that, he sat down on the bed, and here you started to worry. It turned out that he had masturbated too much over the past month, which has formed a habit of certain stimulation of the penis. At the news, you laughed, and he blushed. But at the same moment he exhaled with satisfaction. The guy was glad that the reason was not in you and not in his health.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

16 cm. During erection ± 2.5

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

Sex serves him for several purposes: relieving stress, sexual tension, just as a way to prove his love for you... Sometimes the beginning of sexual intercourse depends on his arousal. But for your sake, he's trying his best to hold back. Resorted to masturbation instead of sex, but as you already know, even this has its own problems. Seeing him so depressed, you also do not bypass the mutual concern. Even if you don't really want to do this or you are not in the mood, you will never refuse him. Although you will never let him relax and stop controlling himself. Do not miss the opportunity to talk to him about this, because, of course, he also needs it - to get rid of an inferiority complex and so on...

Overall, ± 8/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Quite surprisingly, even in spite of his endless chatter before going to bed, as soon as he put his head on the pillow and lean on you, he falls asleep instantly. You feel him in your arms like a small hyperactive child who constantly wants to tell you something or, out of habit, make a row. And myself in his arms — protected by a large and strong wall.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Ep 17 part one

(Masterpost of all the rewatches) (Canary’s pinboard of original content)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Inaccessible

Wei Wuxian hides in a boat among the lotuses next to a pier in Lotus Pier, the second-most-literally-named home in the show, after The Burial Mounds. This pier has a railing that goes all the way around it, without any ladders or anything. Not to be ADA on main but this means if you can't Jedi jump, you're fucked.  

Hefeng Liquor

While Wei Wuxian waits and tries, not very successfully, to keep his shit together, he hears the guards talking about the local booze that they're going to drink at their murder victory party. We learn, in a desaturated flashback (that OP has done her best to resaturate), that this is lotus-infused wine invented by Wei Wuxian during happier days. 

He kicks the flashback off with his favorite activity, Unnecessarily Erotic Beverage Drinking. (gifset) I’ve slowed this gif down so we can all appreciate the unnecessariness. The way his hand caresses that leaf OMG

Hopefully he is not drinking lake water out of that leaf. Side note: How is it possible that Xiao Zhan doesn't have a drinking water endorsement deal? I had to resort to Zhu Yilong's brand of water for this gag. I figure if it's good enough to pour directly onto a lightning burn like they do in The Lost Tomb Reboot, it's good enough for a leaf hummer chastely drinking out of a leaf

(more behind the cut!)

In his memory, Jiang Cheng tells him to stop fucking around and come help with the basket of lotus pods. Wei Wuxian responds by grabbing one for himself and then sitting his ass down and not helping. Cause he’s a motherfucking P.I.M.P.

Emotional Rescue

Wen Ning arrives on the pier with Jiang Chang, to Wei Wuxian's extreme relief. Look how much emotion Xiao Zhan is able to convey even with half of his face hidden, my lord.

Wen Ning carries Jiang Cheng on his back, in an echo of other significant piggyback rides in Wei Wuxian's life.  

Wei Wuxian's relief is at war with his fear, seeing his brother in such bad shape. Remember, these are cultivators, who heal quickly and mostly don't get their asses beat this hard. The only time Wei Wuxian has been comatose was after the Xuanwu cave, and that was probably because of his prolonged contact with resentful energy/Yin iron.

Hibernating Zidian

Wen Ning gets ready for his first, but not his last, boat ride with an unconscious Yunmeng brother in it. He tells Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng is pretty fucked up but isn't dead.

Then he gives Zidian to him. Before we talk about Zidian, let's talk about BAMF Wen Ning.  Wen Ning is an awkward goofball. He’s also insanely competent at just about everything--wine-drugging, dude-smuggling, corpse retrieval, dog acupuncture, drug pushing. As well as shooting rocks out of the air and, later, beating zombie ass, and resisting mind control. . 

This is the foundation of their friendship; it’s not actually about Wei Wuxian being nice to the weird kid. He initially sought Wen Ning out for the same reason he sought out weird kid Lan Wangji--his martial skill. He accepts his weirdness and is protective of him because of his missing-spirit problem, but he did not befriend him out of altruism.

Wei Wuxian is so forgiving that he can smile fondly when looking at the weapon that whipped the shit out of him a couple of days ago.

Wei Wuxian puts Zidian down right next to Jiang Cheng's hand and...nothing happens. It doesn't recognize him or spark to life. This didn't seem meaningful when I watched it the first time, but rewatching...yikes. It KNOWS.

Wei Wuxian admits, with tears in his eyes, that there is nowhere safe for him to go with Jiang Cheng, and Wen Ning immediately offers care and shelter. Even though that is putting his own life at serious risk.

Life obligation is a common theme in CDramas. It’s often something a person chooses as a way of showing love. Guardian builds an eternal romance out of two people saving each other’s lives over and over.  But accepting the obligation is a choice (in fantasy dramas, if not in real life). Love and Redemption has a gloriously harsh sequence where a life is saved, and the save-ee cooly rejects the saver.

Every time Wen Ning saves Wei Wuxian, he cites that one time that Wei Wuxian saved him from the water demon. And Wei Wuxian cites this rescue right here when he throws everything away to save Wen Ning. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng doesn't acknowledge any debt to Wen Ning at all, only--grudgingly--to Wen Qing. And people are ok with that.

Basically all this is to say that I think Wen Ning leans into this life debt because he loves Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian leans into it because he loves him back. Non-romantically, I think...at least on Wei Wuxian’s part. YMMV.

They go to pick up Yanli from their Granny, telling her to go into hiding. She starts to cry, not knowing how she'll manage on her own. Wei Wuxian tells her that they will come back, as Wen Ning looks super unsure about that.

Of course Wei Wuxian can't know, at this point, whether they will come back. Wei Wuxian always wants to make everybody feel better, and sometimes you really can't make someone feel better except by lying. He compulsively says shit that he thinks people want to hear, almost as if he was beaten frequently and arbitrarily as a child.

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational boat ride industry, as he rows the Yunmeng trio through some amazingly beautiful scenery.

Core Melting Time

Meanwhile, back at Lotus Pier The Yunmeng Supervisory Office, Wen Chao is hung over, Wen Chao is angry, Yawn

For some reason, Wang Lingjiao has suddenly decided to talk to Wen Chao in the most cloying and annoying way possible. 

Also, the fact that she still addresses him as Gongzi when she is totally fucking him is kind of great. This is like those fics where Elizabeth Bennet calls Mr. Darcy "Mr. Darcy" even when they're married and hitting it. 

Wen Zhuliu demonstrates why he's called Core-Melting Hand, by punishing the wine guard. He's able to melt a guy's core by grabbing him by the throat, and also picks him up, Darth Vader style, for extra meltyness.

All that stuff I said last time about Wen Zhuliu feeling ambivalent about being a villian...yeah, he seems to have gotten that right out of his system. 

Chilling in Yiling

Wen Ning is doing his best for the recreational carriage ride industry.  Wei Wuxian, after presumably several hours in the cart, decides that now is a good time to get curious about where they are going. 

Here we start to see a new side of Wei Wuxian.  Before this he was carefree, other than specific worries about his friends. He confronted danger with lightness and humor, or with temporary fear, that he let go of once the danger passed. Now, after all the deaths and seeing Jiang Cheng so injured, he's twitchy, anxious, and angry.

Very, very angry.

When he realizes that Wen Ning has brought them to the Yiling supervisory office, he goes off, demanding to know whose home this was before the Wens took it and grabbing Wen Ning and shoving him into a decorative...decoration.  He thinks Wen Ning brought them here to harm them. 

I wouldn't have thought such a pretty dude could be so menacing, but holy crap.

The way he's confronting Wen Ning here is not his normal style. He's not trying to provoke a bigger fight like he usually does; he's not trying to create distance, the way Jiang Cheng does. He's very intimate, getting right in his face and maintaining eye contact. He trusted Wen Ning and feels personally betrayed.  

Shy little Wen Ning is remarkably calm when confronted like this. Wen Ning really isn’t afraid of anything, despite his general air of nervousness. (Full gifset of Angry WWX over here.) 

He calmly and kindly explains the situation. He doesn't appeal to Wei Wuxian's trust, saying "oh I would never;" he appeals to his logic, which gets through to him. 

Wen Qing comes out and the guards start banging on the door and Wei Wuxian flips out again, grabbing a sword and pointing it at Wen Qing as she decides what to do.  Wen Qing seems unruffled by Wei Wuxian's sword pointing, and we see her weighing up the situation.

She makes her decision, sending the guards away and deciding to help the fugitives, officially joining the Clear Conscience Club. She could probably get Wen Ning out of trouble by turning them in, but she opts to put personal loyalty and her belief in her own ideals ahead of her family's safety.

Wei Wuxian is not ok. He’s just not ok. He tries to act like it after they get settled in with Wen Qing, but he's not, and I think that plays into his next several choices. 

Next comes a whole sequence of Jiang Cheng being unconscious with pins in his head--ow--while Wei Wuxian twitchily tends to him. 

This sequence is kind of unfair to Jiang Yanli. What matters to the story here is Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship, so that’s the focus of these scenes. But really, there is no way Jiang Yanli would not be at Jiang Cheng's side unless she was literally unconscious herself. Let's assume Wen Qing stuck a needle in her to make her rest while she has a fever. Shippers should also feel free to assume that Wen Qing spent hours at her bedside, tenderly wiping her forehead and holding her hand as she recovered. In his sleep, while Wei Wuxian sits by his side, Jiang Cheng calls for his sister, mother, and father, but not for his brother. Ouch.  

Let's pause to appreciate Wei Wuxian's new outfit, which is the sort of getup most people in this society probably imagine Yiling Laozu wearing, rather than the low-key homespun stuff he actually spends his Yiling year in. This robe has fancy shoulders, shiny material, touches of Jiang purple, strange red hoody strings, and a fuckin' CAPE. He didn't bring any luggage with him from Lotus Pier, although he's still got his Yin Turtle Sword hidden in a bag of holding. So the most likely explanation is that Wen Ning hooked him up with this lewk. "Wei Wuxian is a nice person. He should have a magnificent cape."

Wen Wing and Wei Wuxian take a breather to stand on the porch and work out what their status is with each other, like a couple of fucking adults, which is amazing. Basically Wei Wuxian is ready to forget earlier Wen shenanigans, but is going to avenge Lotus Pier. 

Wen Qing isn't enthusiastic about that but doesn't argue, just asking, mostly rhetorically, if he plans to kill her too. He's uncomfortable considering that; the role of avenger isn't one that's comfortable for him, although he turns out to be extremely good at it. He does not, of course, plan to kill her too. In a few months, imprisoned in a Wen dungeon, she will be the only Wen left alive after Wei Wuxian 1.5(No-Gold Edition) and Chenqing come to visit.

Jiang Cheng finally wakes up, and the first thing he does is to test out his spiritual power by hitting Wei Wuxian as hard as he can. 

DUDE.

Look at Wei Wuxian's face, as he goes from happy, to shocked and hurt, to laughing it off. It's exactly like when Jiang Cheng shoved him in the Rock Lady temple. Has Wei Wuxian spent all of his years with Jiang Cheng going from affection, to hurt feelings, to pretending it's fine? God, I think he probably has.

This episode raises a question that will come up again later, but never be answered. That question is, what the fuck are these weird footies and why the fuck does Jiang Cheng wear them to bed?

Jiang Cheng reveals that his golden core is gone, that he can't cultivate any more, which means he can't avenge his parents or achieve any ambitions in life. Nobody has apparently given any thought to why Wen Zhuliu is called "Core-Melting Hand" before this, which is hilarious, frankly. If I fought with a guy called, for example, Brain-Eating Mouth, I think I would make certain assumptions about him and what he planned to do with my brain.

Something interesting is happening in this moment, because as he comes fully back to consciousness, Jiang Cheng pours out all of his trauma and horror to his brother, telling him about the core melting and practically wailing about his feelings over it all. And his brother understands, and ultimately finds a way to help him. What does Wei Wuxian do after his own trauma? Keeps it secret, so nobody finds a way to help him, although many people try to. So Jiang Cheng is, in this way at least...emotionally healthier than Wei Wuxian? That's unexpected.

Jiang Cheng is super upset and is mad at eternal scapegoat Wei Wuxian for saving him. Jiang Cheng would rather be dead than be a regular person. Whereas Wei Wuxian, faced with the same problem, is like, *shrug* I’ll adapt. These are both valid emotional responses to suddenly becoming disabled. Losing a golden core is definitely a disability, in this environment; it's not just about magic sword fights. Jiang Cheng's home is designed for people who can fly; Lan Wangji's home is designed for people who don't feel cold, and Wen Central is made of actual lava, for example. 

Jiang Cheng is already struggling with a lot of difficulties. He was raised by shitty parents, he's got anger management issues, he has a crushing weight of responsibility. And now he's also lived through the deaths of most of the people who matter to him. If sword cultivation is the one thing that gives him joy in life (ok one of two things, obviously fashion also gives him joy because he WORKS it), he can't reasonably be expected to rally when it's taken away.  

Oh, honey. Oh, baby boy. 

Wen Qing picks the worst moment to come in and tries to tend to Jiang Cheng, who starts off being devastated that the girl he likes is seeing the wreck he's become, and then moves along to helpless rage when he remembers that she's a Wen, and he screams at her to get out.  

Jiang Cheng is not able to put personal loyalty ahead of clan loyalty like Wei Wuxian is. Partly this is his nature, and partly it's his role as the lineal descendant of the clan leader. As a firstborn son of a gentry family, his destiny as clan leader is in his blood, and so is his responsibility to the clan. When Wei Wuxian praises Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen for caring less about bloodlines than about shared ambition, he is speaking from the position of someone who's bloodline ain't shit. Jiang Cheng will never be able to share that perspective.

Next: More of this excruciating episode!

Writing prompt: The Day I Discovered I Could Melt Your Fucking Core, by Wen Zhuliu Drabble prompt: Why I Wear Socks to Bed, by Jiang Cheng

[tothemeadow]

Commissioned by @oozyhxney​

Tanjiro x Reader x Kanao

- You’ve been such a naughty brat, haven’t you? Too bad Mommy and Daddy don’t plan on being easy on you... -

warnings: NSFW, Mommy/Daddy kink, oral sex, leash and collar, degradation, slut shaming, spanking, ass play, choking

words: 1.5k

(a/n): It was specifically requested that this be a AMBW/AWBW, so this is for all my black beauties out there!

-

How does one beg for forgiveness?

Get on your knees, cry out for mercy, kiss your masters’ shoes? What about being positively broken and left a shuddering, crying mess?

“Fucking slut,” Tanjiro says, tone low, gravelly. Normally, he’s chipper and bleeds kindness, but when he gets pissed… Well, his bright personality throws itself out the window and gets replaced by this. You choke on a breath as he yanks on your leash, the tightly fit collar around your throat digging into the skin. “We literally pay you to give us all of your attention, and this is how you respond? Tsk.”

You want to bite back, argue that it was nothing more than mindless flirting at a nightclub, for fuck’s sake. The whole point of going out with your friends Mitsuri and Shinobu was to have fun, and you’d be damned if you didn’t take the chance to kick back and relax. However, as the late-night crowd usually goes, people become bold, wild; before you even know it, you were on the dancefloor, swaying your hips enticingly to the heavy bass reverberating throughout the club.

Vague memories flash through your mind; blaring music, the sweaty crowd, a sea of blue and pink lights filling the heavy atmosphere. There was a guy grinding against you, grabbing your hips and murmuring about how he wanted to take you home. You barely remember what he looked like, much less what his name was. Iggy? Iguana? Iguro? You don’t know, and frankly, you don’t care.

“She’s biting her tongue, dear,” Kanao murmurs. You wince as she lifts her foot and presses her heel into your back. “You want to say something, right? Don’t give us lip.” The pressure of her foot increases, making her heel dig in even further. “Admit you like to whore around, and we can all get on with our day.”

“I never said anything,” you hiss. “And I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Tanjiro chuckles. Craning his neck back, he glances to the ceiling, sucks on his teeth. “Not only are you a slut, but you’re a mouthy bitch.” Dropping his head back down, he looks to you with dark, hungry eyes. “Two people aren’t enough for you, huh? How do you think that makes us feel?”

Okay, okay, so maybe Tanjiro and Kanao do pay your time and your wonderful body. They’re a disgusting rich married couple who had too much free time on their hands, plus they were open to the idea of having an open marriage. That being said, they took an interest in you and decided to make you theirs. It’s all a part of this little “relationship” you have, and, if you’re being entirely honest, knowing that spending time with others makes their blood boil has you tingling with excitement.

“Oh, so having others drool all over you is perfectly okay?” Kanao drawls. Removing her foot, she steps around you, her heels clacking against the floor. Standing next to Tanjiro now, it’s easy to see that they’re the epitome of a power couple: dressed to the nines, clear skin, luxurious jewelry hanging from their ears and wrists. Their very aura screams wealth and power, and it’d be wise to tread lightly around them.

However, you like to give it back as much as you like to take it.

“If this is the reaction I get from Mommy and Daddy, then yes,” you purr. “I love it.”

Tanjiro scoffs. “Everybody wants to take a ride on the black horse these days, huh? Stupid slut. You won’t be happy until you have everyone’s cock inside you and fucking you stupid, huh?” Again, he tugs on your leash, but this time, he does it hard. You’re left sputtering for a breath, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head. “Kanao, I say it’s about time we teach our brat some manners.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Kanao says, a slight sneer coming to her face. Taking the leash away from Tanjiro, she tugs you to a stand and directs you over to the oversized bed. “Get on your hands and knees,” she barks. “Mommy is gonna teach you what happens when her precious baby decides to act like a fucking slut.”

Before you have a chance to say anything in return, Kanao abruptly brings her hand down on your ass. The sharp smack rings throughout the air, leaves you entirely breathless. Despite her small stature, she’s strong, and she isn’t afraid to remind you of it. So she does it again and again, switching between your asscheeks and making you cry out in pleasure filled pain. Your entire body jerks at her ministrations, your fingers digging into the duvet, your back arching.

“Well, why won’t you look at that,” Tanjiro hums. “Not so mouthy now, huh?”

In that moment, you’re grateful that your dark skin doesn’t give away your blush. Heat bubbles in your belly, travels to the tips of your fingers and your toes. Your whole being is on fire, and both Tanjiro and Kanao know it. They know the effect they have on you, and goddammit they’re so smug about it.

Shuffling onto the bed, Tanjiro casually takes his place before you. Fingers hooking onto the O ring of your collar, he forces you to gaze up at him. The look in his eyes is dark, intense. The set of his jaw makes his muscle tick. He’s practically bleeding with controlled anger, but little amounts of it are spilling. “Since you want cock so bad, take it for yourself,” he sneers.

Glancing downwards, a lump grows in your throat at the sight that greets you. Tanjiro’s cock strains against the sleek fabric of his slacks, looking almost downright delectable. The fact that he’s already hard over your misbehavior sends delicious tremors down your spine.

Tanjiro tugs on your collar. “What, are you just gonna sit there and stare? Choke yourself on my cock, you filthy slut.” With a huff, he undoes his pants and yanks out his cock. The head is already flushed a pretty shade of red; precum oozes from the tip from your prolonged attention. Flicking your eyes upwards, you’re met with an utterly sinful look on Tanjiro’s handsome face. “Well, what are you waiting for? Suck Daddy’s cock.”

You don’t have to be told twice.

Surging forward, you eagerly take his cock into your mouth; you moan at his heady taste, the pleasant weight of his sex against your tongue. Oh, as much as you love being a brat, you adore having Daddy gaze down at you like this, eyelashes fluttering and bottom lip tucked between his teeth. Oh, fuck, does he look so damn good like that. Slipping further down his cock, you lap at the vein underneath, hollow your cheeks.

“Shit,” Tanjiro hisses. Fingers abandoning your collar, they wrap around your neck instead. “Like that, you damn slut. Come on, gag yourself.”

“Don’t tell me that you’ve already forgotten about me,” Kanao suddenly murmurs into your ear. Her soft hands shamelessly grope the swell of your ass. “You really are that eager for cock, huh? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s a shame I can’t rail you whenever, huh? I bet you’d fuck yourself silly on my cock.”

Kanao’s words leave you dizzy. Moaning around Tanjiro’s cock, you arch even further into her touch, silently begging for more. What’s more, Tanjiro’s grip around your neck tightens, directing your attention back to where it matters. He’s got his cock down your throat, inching his way further down with each bob of your head. Before long, he’s muttering curses under his breath; placing his other hand on the back of your neck, he holds you still as he bucks his hips into you, a loud moan ripping itself from the depths of his chest as he fucks your throat.

Behind you, Kanao sucks on her teeth, obviously unamused with her husband’s behavior. Now, she isn’t competitive, unlike Tanjiro, but when it comes to sharing you, her attitude can take a surprising turn. A squeal erupts from your throat as her fingers dip into your sopping cunt. You haven’t really realized just how wet you were until that very moment. Spurred on by your reaction, she quickly thrusts her fingers in and out, the sinful squelch coming from between your legs stoking the fires inside your belly.

“Fuck, fuck, baby,” Tanjiro groans. “Just like that for Daddy. Your mouth is so hot, oh my god-“

“I wonder what would happen if I do this,” Kanao purrs. Without saying another word, her tongue swirls around your asshole. You keen around Tanjiro’s cock, your pussy clenching around Kanao’s fingers. A fat drop of slick pushes its way past her fingers, coats the insides of your thighs.

“Our filthy slut likes this a lot, huh?” Tanjiro pants. “Dammit, I wish I had a camera…” Moaning around his cock, you catch his eyes, sending him a silent taunt. Tanjiro has the audacity to chuckle. “You’re in no position to be bratty, slut. Now be a good girl and let Mommy and Daddy have their fun.”

“That’s right,” Kanao mutters. “Be a good slut and take it.”