#really theyre just both undiagnosed

[al-luviec]

smthn easy for today (sorry)

[the-s1lly-corner]

slashers x autistic!fem!reader hcs if you're comfy with that!!! (idrc about the rest but please let jason and thomas be there 🙏)

Jason and Thomas x autistic!fem!reader

grrrgrr trying to speedrun writing so i can go work on other stuff but my fingers keep either going stiff or simply not following what i want to write raaaaah!! i used to be able to write like, 5-8 posts back to back but it seems currently im limited to 2 or 3 hisshiss notes: reader is fem, a lot of this is based around the admins experiences as an afab with autism, admins experience does not reflect everyones experience, something something admin headcanons both characters are on the spectrum albeit undiagnosed and likely unaware that theyre ND cws: mentioned bullying and/or ableism

JASON

doesnt mind your needs, and hes more than welcome to accommodate you and make living here with him easier for you

need your own space so you can unwind? hes already on it, just be sure to let him know if you need anything! need something to keep excess noise out, or to perhaps play music? he might be able to find a pair of headphones somewhere! can only eat certain foods due to sensory issues? hes sure he can find a way to help you!

if you ever open up to him about your struggles prior to moving in with him, hes going to feel for you... not only because hes reeling from the idea that anyone could treat you so poorly for trying to function the way the way thats best for you.. but also because he finds himself relating heavily to you-

actually him tending to you and your needs has him realizing that he hasnt really been tending to his own.. hes mostly been doing the basic "eat sleep clean repeat" cycle before you came around... he would just power through whatever else was bothering him

you both take care of each other, and in your case you help him find what works for him and what doesnt

if you ever mention any of his interests hes going to remember everything you tell him... and if it happens to be a media hes going to light up if he ever sees a camper sporting some merch for it... definitely going to yoink that to give you later

THOMAS

does his very best to make things easier for you, even helping you change up your room to better suit your needs

he doesnt really talk, but if you have an interest you want to ramble about hes going to let you talk for as long as you want! depending on what work he needs to do that day he might let you talk as he does his chores!

doesnt know anything about neurodivergency but hes willing to let you guide him so he can understand, you... may raise some internal suspicions in him that he may not totally be neurotypical

similar to jason you may end up helping him find what he doesnt like and does like, stuff that hes been ignoring and pushing to the back of his mind for the sake of keeping things running and doing what hes told

your room becomes a quiet space for the two of you to retreat to during the day to let your walls down and relax before heading back out into the world

[housepilled]

need you to know my house md autism theory that i couldnt add onto your post because of daily post limit: house and wilson are both two different kinds of autistic!

wilson is a people pleaser autist who makes himself docile and nonthreatening and submissive and hes constantly sacrificing himself for other people because hes trying to make up for his various minor social deficits and awkwardnesses.

house has a stronger more dominant autistic personality and has tried fitting in but it never works because hes just Too Much. so he has instead given up and just settled into the role of The Asshole because its easier to let people think hes a jerk than it is to try and change their minds.

theyre the two most common roles undiagnosed autistic people fall into!

and i think the whole entire show is about that. time and time again we see house and wilson fumble relationship after relationship with more than just romantic partners. they dont have any friends other than each other. they try! they really do! but their extreme personalities are just too much for other people to deal with.

but they are the exact same amount of messed up as each other even if its in opposite directions. theyre practically made for each other.

house helps wilson grow a spine and learn how to stand up for and value himself more, and wilson helps house learn to trust and open up to other people even if it hurts and sucks sometimes. theyre helping each other heal!!!!!!!

i’m so bad at replying to asks so i’m sorry i don’t have anything to add on but honestly you said it all this is a great analysis!

[slashertrash]

Would you mind writing Brahams and/or Bubba with a s/o who’s autistic and stims a lot and has a lot of echolalia stims but is embarrassed about them when they realize theyre stimming in front of them? Thank you and have a wonderful day!! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Of course I don’t mind, hun! 💖 I tried researching a bit about echolalia, hope I do you proud! Please let me know if I mess anything up though!

Bubba and Brahms with an s/o who has an echolalia stim

Bubba

I hc that Bubba's autistic and nonverbal!

He shows a lot of traits of having trouble with social cues, and trouble with his impulse control. Also suffers meltdowns when in high stress situation, most likely from his brother's yelling or from victims getting away.

He stims by touching textures (mainly his mask!) and probably has an oral stim too! And I bet he loves to feel around the textures of his crafts, like his bracelet or whatever bone decoration is around the house.

He was a bit cut off guard when you do a vocal stim near him for the first time. Why did you repeat what his brother just said? Where you making fun of him?

You'd have to explain to him about your vocal stim to help him understand that you're not making fun of him or his brothers. Once you do he's completely understanding!

He assures you that you shouldn't be embarrassed of your stims. While spending time together, whether it be interacting or doing your own things in silence, you both feel comfortable enough to stim around each other. He's absolutely smitten with everything that you do <3

Brahms

As for Brahms, I hc him having BPD. It shows when Greta becomes his favorite person, his sudden mood swings towards her, his impulsiveness to threaten anyone who tries to sweep her away from him, and how quick it is to anger him. Lots of anger issues as well

Brahms had watched you for a while inside the mansion's walls, so he has seen and heard you stim beforehand.

He's probably read up on many autistic traits and information in the books around the mansion. So he probably knows some things about echolalia and/or stims.

He'd be interested on what your thoughts are on the different phrases or words that you repeat. What made you like them, or what brought them up.

Once he comes out of the walls and you're talking to the real him face to face, you may notice him still watching you from time to time. *cough* all the time, he can't help it

He finds all your stims to be fascinating, he loves hearing your voice and is just so thrilled to finally be with you. Brahms absolutely is head over heels. You're his new favorite person!

Really clingy and possessive, but he'd tone it down if you tell him to. Just be honest! Communication is key. <3

Finally getting the hang of writing again! So sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English ain't my main language!

As a side note, I would like to say that in no way am I trying to demonize or correlate these mental health conditions to literal slashers. I've got some undiagnosed au/dhd + possible bpd and you don't see me (or anybody else) slashing and dashing out there! These are just my thoughts, and how I'd like to explain the traits or deeper feelings behind these characters! Idk if I worded this correctly but y'all get my point!

[johnslittlespoon]

ok okokk i may be pushing it but i just cant stop picturing barry circa 2012 with leaving!bucky. i just feel like theyd have the cutest dynamic ever. he gives art student vibes like maybe hes studying film or literature. theyre childhood bestfriends and maybe they were eachother's homoerotic-codependent-friendship canon event. UGHH theyd be so cute stfuu. and maybe bucky and gale are already established and curt is just yearning for a whileee like over a year of slow burn until the three of them are a throuple... idk i just miss curtbuckbucky. you dont have to change your canon for the long fic i just needed to share this idea lmfao

au post | NO ur not pushing it this is such fun world building teehee <33 genuinely this is gonna help me later for drafting! (FUCK MY LIFE HOW IS THIS 2K WORDS. i thought i only had a few thoughts... i was so wrong. my bad chief. enjoy/suffer ig)

ok so this is so funny because i've actually been thinking ab how sweet those two would be together, cute little nerdy besties, and how they'd meet because of course curt has to be in this fic!!

and the first thing my mind went to was the cliche homoerotic codependent friendship trope too LMAO. i'm feeling like maybe they meet on the first day of highschool; neither of them share their english class with any friends, and they end up sat next to each other, and john keeps side–eyeing him because curt looks... interesting. (ie: deep into his emo phase. the fringe. the smudged eyeshadow. chipped black nail polish, band shirts– all things john does not let him live down as they grow up.)

but his eyes settle on some pin on curt's jacket that has some character from his favourite movie or something, and the yap jumps out, john can't control it. blurts out a "you like ___ too?!" and curt's head snaps over and he nods nervously and john takes one look at those big sad charcoal–ringed blue puppy eyes and is like yup. this is the one. will protect with my life.

(tiny headcanon that rly won't have a big effect on plot or anything, but i feel like it just fits very well with john/his character in leaving– dude's got madddd undiagnosed adhd. he's written off as a loud mouth/troublemaker in his childhood, but he wants to be a good kid, his mind is just always going too fast and sitting still is torture and his parents get frustrated and don't look into the root of the problem, trying to discipline it out of him instead. i will heal my inner child by healing him alright)

they're attached at the hip from that moment on and it makes sense to no one because they seem like complete opposites, curt more inclined towards the arts and bookish things and his friends are all the same, whereas john is more inclined towards athletics and science and hangs around that type of crowd as well. but they both love video games and movies and music and they bond over never really feeling like they fit in anywhere particular and both groups of friends get along just fine when they all get together. <3

but yk time goes on, they learn things about themselves as they grow up, and curt and john are so close and spend so much time together that they're already a lot closer than regular friends– they just don't realize it. they think nothing of cuddling up on the couch watching movies together, or sharing a bed when john stays over at curt's place after he gets into a fight with his parents, or being much more interested in spending time together than pursuing girls.

and curt's pretty– john nearly mistakes him for a girl that first day they meet. the summer before their senior year, john practically spends the whole summer at curt's house, and curt's mom doesn't mind; she works long hours and is glad her son isn't spending the summer moping around indoors alone, and she loves john and gets the feeling that her home is a sanctuary for him. one day they're in the backyard lazing around, and they get onto the topic of first kisses, and neither of them have had a proper relationship outside of those classic week–long middleschool flings that don't actually mean anything, so there's not much to talk about.

but being dumb teenage boys, they start worrying about "what if we're really bad at kissing and no girls wanna go with us to senior prom this year" etc. and one of them pops the suggestion of practicing together, and thus begins a summer of sweet stolen kisses and hand holding and experimenting and dancing around calling it something. it ends when the summer does because they realize that they both work better as friends, but they're as close as ever and both definitely learn they aren't straight (and they probably make a cute pact– "if we aren't in love by the time we're thirty, we'll just marry each other.")

i don't see them really doing much together because they're young and shy and inexperienced, but it's enough for john to decide that yeah, he definitely likes guys too, but that's all that really amounts to (until he meets gale) because he's growing up in a small town in wisconsin and it's not the easiest/most accepting place to find other queers. john probably ends up dating a real sweet girl during his last year of highschool, but she's going away for college and john's going to a local one so it ends amicably at the end of summer, both of them staying close friends. (if we wanna get sickeningly wholesome, maybe she ends up pining for a girl while john's pining for gale and they share their little stories and give each other advice and facetime every week to catch up <3)

(++ curt ends up falling head over heels for ken, who he meets through john when curt and john's friend groups get together for movie nights or summer parties. john pretends to be annoyed at how lovesick they are when they first start crushing, but he ends up matchmaking and being the one to push them to confess their feelings after graduation because he loves his friends.)

BUT THEN, leaving this fic's 'canon' to elaborate on the throuple stuff you said! i miss curtbuckbucky too </3

in a separate universe, curt doesn't end up with ken, and as much as he loves his friendship with john and agrees that a relationship wouldn't have worked at that time in their lives, he spends that first year of college pining. when john starts talking about some guy named gale during their second year, he's a little sad, but mostly protective, because "what do you MEAN he's in his 30s??" and "he's a BIKER?"

but john eventually introduces him to gale after a few months of telling curt about him, probably once he and gale actually start seeing each other, and curt immediately gets it. and then he's in double–hell because not only is he a bit (a lot) in love with his best friend, but he's blushing every time said best friend's new bf talks to him, and they're gonna notice eventually if they haven't already and he feels so guilty.

more yearning ensues and john is dense and doesn't realize but gale picks up on it, maybe even notices john doing a bit of pining of his own that john's not fully aware of. and his heart twists because his mind goes to his own insecurities about how john should be seeing someone his own age, so he sits john down and opens up a conversation about it. john is adamant that he's very, very happy with gale, but he tells gale about his and curt's past and admits that he has always still had feelings for him, but insists that it's not something he'd ever pursue, that he values curt's friendship more.

gale throws him off by saying he wouldn't mind if john wanted to explore those feelings, and at first john gets anxious gale is calling things off with the two of them and this is his way of softening the blow, but gale reassures him that's not the case, that he's very happy with their relationship. he just encourages that if he wants to talk to curt and feel things out, he wouldn't be opposed to john and curt seeing each other as well– gale's often busy, after all, so it would be nice for john to have someone else, as long as curt's comfortable with that kind of arrangement and as long as john keeps gale in the loop.

they decide to kinda just feel it out as they go, but soon enough gale starts coming home from work every so often to find the two of them curled up on his couch together, sweet and innocent. curt's wary at first, always slightly detaching himself from john when gale's around, but gale is always friendly and doesn't change up his routine, settling on the couch at john's other side like it's not a big deal at all, wanting to show curt he's welcome there, not wanting john to feel guilty.

it's another scenario where lines just sorta start to blur over time, curt spending a lot of time over at gale's house, and gale sees the way curt looks at him, probably noticed it from the first time they met but chalked it up to nerves at the time. curt's an angel and he's grown quite fond of him, but he doesn't want to overstep, so he leaves it up to curt, thinking maybe the boy will mention it to john one day and john will in turn come to gale to talk about it.

and eventually that happens, just like gale thought it might. curt's just gone home and john's head is in his lap on the couch while they watch tv, and john asks "what do you think about curt?" and gale tells him that he's sweet and he loves how much john smiles when he's around him, the usual. "so you like him?" john pushes, and gale immediately has a feeling where this conversation is going, drags his eyes away from the tv to look down at john.

says "of course" easily, and lets john take his time forming his thoughts. john ends up telling him that he and curt were fooling around earlier while gale was at work (and god help gale for the images that puts in his head) and that he'd made some offhand comment about how curt better hurry up if he doesn't want gale to come home and catch him half naked on their couch. and john's all shy when he says "and curt, uh. y'know. that... did it for him" with a vague gesture LOL. gale never fails to find it amusing how certain things can fluster john to talk about after all they've done together.

"so, anyway. i asked him about it after, if it was a coincidence, and he was real shy about it, but he did admit after a whole lot of apologizing that he likes you." gale listens to him nervously get his words out, petting his hair encouragingly, waits for him to be done before he asks "how do you feel about that?" only to watch the flush return when john mumbles "it's hot."

this is getting sooo long i need to take away my own typing privileges, but basically that's how things would start between the three of them– john and gale agree that gale will let himself be a bit flirty with curt and see how curt takes it. obviously this goes a little too well when curt gets hot and bothered sat between john and gale during a movie night with john's hand on his knee and gale's arm resting on the couch behind him while he plays with curt's hair.

the movie is forgotten when gale's finger catches on a tangled curl and curt doesn't bite back the little whine that slips out in time and john's head snaps over and he mumbles a "fuck" when he realizes what's happened, and his lack of filter comes out to play when he turns to curt and asks "curt, can gale kiss you?" and curt turns to gale with big doll eyes and nods.

john ends up palming himself over his shorts as he watches gale coax curt into his lap, face hot and pupils blown as he gets to see both his guys make out in front of him, almost dizzy seeing curt get so shy and needy and pliant because when it's just the two of them, he and curt are both very balanced in their dynamic. they've been such close friends for so long that not much gets the other truly shy like that, and they're always quick to voice their wants and crack jokes while fooling around and all. so to see curt get so flustered in that way with gale has him lightheaded, and by the time they all collapse into gale's bed at the end of the night, john's convinced this is the best decision he's ever made.

there's a lot of pining on curt's end because for a while it's kinda just sex when it's the three of them, and he loves it but he also finds himself wanting more but feeling too scared to voice it because he feels like he's intruding. but eventually they all get their shit sorted out; curt fits into their relationship just right in a way gale and john never intended or expected, and gale falls for curt just as much as john has and curt does the same with gale.

gale's got two sweet things glued to his side now and man, do they ever give him a run for his money, and if he'd thought john had too much energy (and stamina) it's nothing compared to keeping up with both of them, but he wouldn't have it any other way. <3

throuple things won't be happening in the actual fic, but i do love the idea of exploring the dynamic the three of them might have in a spin–off of that au so this was rly fun thx :-) maybe i'll write a pwp oneshot set in that universe as an excuse to write more curtbuckbucky once the fic is done LOL we'll see!

[hostilemuppet]

actually, what was your first impression of floyd, back when you watched the movie??? i know tdau floyd Is Like That™ bc if that one fic you read, but i'm curious about your first impression of the tbt characters.

floyd initially didnt WOW me like the other brothers did. ive said before how we dont get much of his real personality, since you cant accurately judge how someone is as a person by how they act when theyve been tortured for two months. and while i have since grown to like his subtle characterisation, and LOVE the little bits of sass and sarcasm that leak through (bohochic home furnishings 😌), i am still eagerly awaiting the next cartoon or holiday special so we can see how floyd actually acts when hes not. you know. fearing for his life!

originally tdau floyd was just a joke about him being a heavy drug using party animal, like you might expect from a gay emo finding his footing in the early/mid 2000s, and it was really funny to put it against the Sad And Shy And Sensitive floyd that everyone portrays him as. since then, he has spiralled into a dangerously unstable addict who probably needs serious help for his undiagnosed bipolar disorder before he hurts himself and/or others, and treats his husband like his only lifeline. which he is, but theyre both each others lifelines, so it evens out. theres a reason i call them trauma-bonded and i do NOT mean it in the commonly misused and watered down sense of the term

floyd being pro life was an afterthought, just an inside joke. i dont think either of us expected that to become. so. you know. noteworthy

[grantairescurls]

Modern!Athelstan headcanons but i’ll try to project as little as possible

doesnt really have many friends, by choice. he likes being alone. sometimes a bit too much.

he collects cool crosses/crucifixes he finds at thrift stores, has a whole wall dedicated to them

grew up in a rural area without the internet, hes learnt everything he knows from his mother’s library

started questioning his sexuality at 16 when he realized he was reading sport history books just to look at pictures of male athletes

gets flustered with anyone who shows him the tiniest bit of attention

undiagnosed autism (special interests are dead languages; latin, ancient greek, old norse, etc.)

a bit fucked up in the head actually but cant afford to go to therapy

^ he opens up to Lagertha about this while tipsy and she offers to pay for him. he starts crying on the spot

oh yeah LIGHTWEIGHT. two glasses of good wine and hes gone

unironically listens to gregorian chants while studying

has a license but refuses to drive because “its bad for the environment”

was vegetarian until Ragnar invited him to a bbq and he HAD to eat an hamburger cause Floki and Rollo kept staring at him

often talks in metaphors like a smartass just to piss Rollo off. will sometimes even make up words that “sound” latin and “quote” Seneca

has a mutt named Argo and a black cat named Bastet, of course theyre both rescues

[thatcryptid0verthere]

im canadian but our education systems are similar and i have a few stories that come to mind. theyre all fairly small so ill share more than one. this post may still get quite long, so sorry in advance.

doesnt really affect much but noteworthy context: i was in the early french immersion program, which means all of my academic classes (maths, science, etc) were in french, starting in senior kindergarten (the "grade" before grade 1). we had french class which was like the literature part of english class as well as grammar stuff, but in french, and also the english variant.

1. tldr: got in trouble for the way i wrote the letter k. in sixth grade, instead of our usual teacher doing the english lessons, one of the English teachers would come in on Wednesdays and give us a grammar lesson. my Ks were fairly similar; they both went all the way up. i differentiated them by having the capital attach in the middle of the base line, and the lowercase had the bottom diagonal bit coming off of the top one (like in default fonts). this teacher did not care to see this difference and would berate me for all my Ks being capitals and wouldnt let up until my lowercase Ks were changed.

2. tldr: teacher Went Off on a kid for sneezing and dropping a water bottle (by accident). this one didn't actually happen to me personally, but i was in the class and witnessed the whole thing. in grade nine, our maths teacher required us to be pretty quiet. on its own, not far-fetched. but i guess that day she was short on patience, and coupled with some of the students goofing off like they usually did it didnt take long for her to get Pissed. it was actually fairly quiet when this happened, but a kid sneezed, and someone dropped their water bottle (idk if it was the same kid). the bottle made a really loud bang as it hit the floor and the teacher stormed over to the kid and started yelling at him. like actually Shouting. it was kinda terrifying

no other specific things are coming to mind, but heres some things from highschool that pissed me off:

- i would frequently sleep through maths class in grade 11 and still got decent grades. the teacher only ever yelled at me for not paying attention on the few occasions where i was paying attention.

- took yoga as a PE credit in grade 10 and the teacher frequently made it extremely stressful. not in a sexual way (thankfully) but in an "i have severe social anxiety and undiagnosed autism and youre making me sit away from anyone i know, next to the popular crowd who will likely bully me, and make me teach the class shit i only just learned myself" way. (she was teaching the class as if we were learning to be yoga Instructors, which we were not.)

- that time my partner and i almost got beat up in the gender neutral washroom

- the various times people whistled at us in the halls

- my creepy ass grade 12 english teacher (who is married to one of his previous students)

- that time my band teacher blew up at her grade 9 english class and stormed out of the building, and never came back

- and ✨more✨

Everyone give me the most screwed up thing that has ever happened to you in the american public school system

[dykeyote]

AUTISM N OCD JEDDIE HCS 👀 <- normal about him

YES YES YES YES YES I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ABOUT THOSE ..... >:))

okay starting with autism . there is NO WAY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD that fucker doesnt have a special interest on video games theres just no way . i think hes had a spinterest on the medium broadly for SEVERAL years but it yas like . Subhyperfocuses on specific games and series which shifts a lot . for example it was skyrim in college and hes had an on again off again special interest on sonic for most of his life . also he has a special interest in math because i do too and i get to hashtag project

hes VERY much undiagnosed i think . i think he RELATES to a lot of the things sydney experiences and the autistic traits he has but because he doesnt relate to Everything both because autism demonstrates differently in everyone plus sydney has more immediate support needs as well as other disorders and disabilities he kinda is like . ok so im not autistic bc im not exactly like sydney . i think he has some internalized ableism to work thru

i think he stims by pacing his office a lot (: he also flutters his hands when hes nervous or excited and i think he finds clicking his tongue in time with the clocks in his office to be a relaxing stim for when hes upset. he also claps his hands when hes happy and rocks back and forth a lot ESPECIALLY when hes in an infodump

i think she scripts a good deal like she has Specific Phrases that she relies on for hard social interactions . a canon one being the phrase Untenable Circumstances . he doesnt script Whole Interactions but i think for stressful things or abrupt changes she has specific little scripts like for the opposite day ep scripting is a backup plan for him in times of distress

i think that understanding that shes autistic and undoing a lot of her internalized ableism actually helps her and sydney become a lot closer and have tehir relationship be a lot better (: they r autistic4autistic and it deepens their love for each other because of the way they understand each other on a deeper level <3 love wins

using discussing COMORBIDITY as a good segue between ocd and autism here . i think he is DEEPLY DEEPLY reliant on a routine she cant handle large changes theyre really upsetting for him they tend to lash out with frustration which they then feel badly about bc its not like hes actually Angry hes just panicking . this is another thing about the opposite day ep that was SOO autsim coded

okay so now ocd stuff IN PARTICULAR . i think a common loop he gets stuck in is just . staring at his clocks until it hits a SPECIFIC certain time like 11:11 or 12:24 or 10:01 or something like that and if he blinks when it hit that time he has to start over again with a NEW time on the dot . he gets stuck like that a lot ESPECIALLY when hes anxious a good bit of the time he spends locked in his office is just him staring at his clocks . tangentially i do think that her ocd gets SIGNIFICANTLY worse when she does her avoidant thing i think its a self feeding cycle where the mor she avoids the worse her symptoms are and vice versa . seek therapy miss martin <3 

ALSO . THIS IS A THING THATS CONSISTENT IN HIS ARC ITS A MAJOR PART OF WHY HES MY BIGGEST OCD HC . HE HAS THE OCD GUILT . like he gets that feeling where you get so obsessed with ur own guilt that you engage in compulsions to ease it or obsessively resolve it somehow in ways that are totally unhelpful or Alternatively obsessively avoid it hes got that going on to EXTREME DEGREES and i think it would influence the way she acts in the show

i think sydney knows a lot of jedidiahs rituals and tries to make them a little easier on him . small things that he doesnt usually bring up to her but if shes staring at the clock he wont interrupt her until she finishes UNLESS shes been staring at the clocks for hours in which case hell try and distract her a little bit (:

i think she used to have a LOT of religious obsessions when he was younger but theyve gone away a bit now that hes less entrenched in christianity . like he strikes me as the type who used to have a lot of religious morality obsessions as a kid but as he grew up those morality obsessions sorta Changed Shape and became more along the lines of just plain guilt obsession like i mentioned about earlier

once more projecting my ocd obsessions . jeddy has a BIG fear of immobility she jerks her hands and her arms around sometimes just to check that he still can move about freely its a very big fear of hers . she has a har dtime falling asleep sometimes because she keeps doing liil checks that her bodys still moving . sydney snuggling with her is a good distraction and grounding though (: 

SORRY I WENT ON A WHOLE RAMBLE . I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[madisonrooney]

Honestly that exhibit is what inspired me to ask that question, I love going to museums and I think one specifically dedicated to Disney Channel would be really cool especially in regards to newer stuff as well as stuff older than like you said the “popular era” just overall it would be a neat attraction.

For this next query we talk a lot about books in the discord would you rather see your favorite series/movie turned into a book or would you rather see your favorite book with a disney channel take like a tv show laugh track and all? which ones and what elements would you change in the transfer?

I personally think seeing High School Musical as a Jane Austen novel would be funny or just that or other disney channel projects in full novels for like adult reading levels (as much as the Camp Rock Junior Novels rock that is) - ❄️🎄

truth be told, i do not read 🙈 i loved to when i was a little but as i got older it got more challenging for me to the point where its very difficult for me now (its probably undiagnosed adhd)

but! one series i grew up loving was kingdom keepers, which i think has been talked about in the discord. i dont remember which book i left off on, i dont think ive read them since 2015? but thats a series that id definitely make an effort at resuming/finishing. id always hoped itd become a movie or tv show and i think there have been talks about it, or at least rumors, but nothing has happened. but now that we have disney+, i feel like it could be possible since theyre making stuff with lesser known IPs. so i guess that wouldnt make it a disney channel show, but i feel like it could be a disney+ show in the style of both disney channel and disney+'s single cam teen sitcoms, like andi mack, ultra violet & black scorpion, hsmtmts, diary of a future president, etc. probably mostly like uv&bs tho bc it would be more of an action/adventure type show.

[its-no-biggie]

okay like. you are right. but i disagree that its the great tragedy of saiki k. because the entire show is ABOUT how saikis friends a) love him even without knowing much about him, and b) very much would love and accept the real him

because like. saikis quiet and unassuming facade is meant to both go unnoticed AND to drive people away. he doesnt WANT friends. and in the beginning, people like kaidou and teruhashi are just looking for connection with ANYONE- and saiki is such a blank slate they can just project what theyre looking for onto him without saiki ever reciprocating. like when we first learn that kaidou pretends that saiki also has powers? saikis kinda just like [whatever, he can play his game of pretend, im not involved in it]. this is why saiki says so often in the early chapters that they arent even really friends- because they arent. kaidou and teruhashi and yumehara and hairo each have a made up image of saiki in their heads that they one-sidedly interact with (i believe nendou is an exception to this. but we never really get into his head to know for sure). and the only part of that that saiki has a problem with is that he keeps getting dragged into things. he would rather they not interact with him at all.

but by the end of the show its clear that saikis friends DO know him. they at least know the version of him that he shows them. they know hes unfriendly and doesnt talk much and doesnt show much emotion. but they still like being around him and wanna hang out together, and it BAFFLES him! saiki is trying his hardest to be completely uninteresting and unlikeable and unbefriendable. hes perfectly happy to just continue the dynamic of one-sided delusion, where they dont really know him and are only attached to the idealized version of him in their heads. but they were concerned by his out of character behaviour at the wrong-birthday and when toritsuka was disguised as him. teruhashi wished he was there at the mixer. they know that hes closed off and reserved and theyre FINE with it.

and it all comes to a head during the finale, when saiki gets caught using his powers and tells his friends that he cant explain. and nendou says it doesnt matter, because theyre still friends no matter how much saiki is hiding from them. and even though saiki has seen over and over again that his friends wont be driven away by his antisocial tendencies, that they genuinely like spending time with him even if he doesnt participate, and even that they wont turn him away when they learn about his powers, it STILL doesnt really sink in. because saiki has spent his whole life resenting his own powers and thinking no one will ever accept him for who he is! that hes too different from normal people and only people who are Like Him could possibly understand. unlearning that doesnt happen overnight.

and yeah, by the end of the show, saiki still hasnt had the chance to properly confess to his friends. but it ends with him fully embracing his own powers BECAUSE of his friends! they are very explicitly the catalyst to him deciding to take care of the meteor in the final scene. saikis powers are no longer a burden to him because he knows his friends will accept him. thats the emotional arc of the show!! yeah, we dont get to see the scene where he finally opens up to them, but personally i dont think we need to see it for it to be a satisying conclusion to his arc

so i can definitely see why you might find it sad- i mean, it takes him the WHOLE SHOW to work up the courage to open up, and we dont even get to see it! so its totally understandable. but personally i dont really find it tragic? and its probably because growing up undiagnosed autistic is just kinda Like That- thinking that normal people will never accept you just kinda becomes the background noise of your life, and you learn not to open up to people. and yeah, objectively its pretty sad, i wont argue that, but i think the fact that saiki grows past that mindset and finds people who do authentically love him, even if they will never truly understand him, is distinctly Not Tragic. he learns how to accept himself through his friends!! he gets a happy ending!! and i just really love that. have i mentioned that this is like my favourite show ever

[its definitely also a shame that we dont get to see saiki interact with, say, teruhashi the same way he interacts with the psychickers. but thats what fanfic is for!]

anyway! obviously not invalidating anything you said, because you are very much correct. i just kinda see it through a different lense and thought i would share :)

How Saiki wants to be perceived:

Not at all. He's just generic mob character #7536, thanks.

How Saiki's friends perceive him at first:

Projection Central... Depending on the person, he's a scaredy-cat, romance novel protagonist, former punk, flustered fanboy, a slacker who just needs some inspiration to become a sports star, etc...

How Saiki's friends perceive him at the end of the series:

Quiet, a little glum, kinda boring, but a good guy. Says "good grief" a lot.

How the Psychickers perceive him:

Sarcastic, stubborn, tsundere, a little childish, back-talker supreme, confident, a bit arrogant even, incredibly intelligent, lonely, silly, uptight, a soft touch, kind.

How Saiki ACTUALLY IS:

Sarcastic, stubborn, tsundere, a little childish, back-talker supreme, confident, a bit arrogant even, incredibly intelligent, lonely, silly, uptight, a soft touch, kind.

-> Only the Psychickers (and to some extent, his family) know and appreciate Saiki for who he actually is by the end of the series.

That's because Saiki is only ever comfortable revealing his true personality once the other person knows about his powers.

Until then, he will always try pretending to be a passive nobody, unless he thinks it can get a girl off his back (ex. against Teruhashi at the arcade, against Imu in the locker room).

Saiki remains nervous about telling his friends about his powers despite seeing it go off without a hitch in the alternate universe, and despite losing his powers first, because his friends might not like his "new"/actual personality.

We see early on in Kuboyasu's introduction that Saiki fears his relationships with his friends are fake because they're based on a huge lie and an even bigger pretense. We see that anxiety about his personality/persona not being palatable enough at the wrong-day birthday party. We see him mourn the fact that he can't be his real self at the mixer.

THAT is the great tragedy of Saiki K, that almost none of the people he loves actually know him in any meaningful way, not even by the end of the series!

[stupidbeecandle]

Something weird that came with growing up, gaining context, and getting a better feelnfor social interactions was me realizing I was a total dick as a child, a bully and an absolute terror

And I had no idea until I was a lot older. Its not that people didnt tell me to stop it or go away its just thats what my brother and my family and I would say to each other and it was usually met with giggling and the irritating behavior being increased. Thats what "love" was and its how people who were friends showed it to one another. Short of crying and shutting down completely there wasnt really a way to show that you didnt like something... and since the kids I was friends with (all of them) very rarely if ever cried, that meant we were all still friends!

They even set up fun puzzles and traps for me to solve by having other kids "stand watch for stupidbeecandle" and me to find ways around so I could skirt around the barriers to me having access to my friends who clearly wanted to wrestle but were playhiding first.

My god... there must be so many posts about me being an asshole on the internet. No wonder I got the feeing that no one liked me, I was a menace with zero concept of boundaries! How many kids did i fucking traumatize? What do I do about that even... make a fb post saying "sorry to everyone I bullied as a kid, I was was an undiagnosed asshat of a kid who legit thought: leave me alone meant "haha we are both having fun right now!"

But its also a perspective about kids who bully being such a trope of villainry. When I talk to children at work about why they are being mean to the other kids very very very few perceive or understand that they are doing hurtful things until its spelled out for them.

Some of the adult students in my classes talk about their bullies growing up and how they want to help other kids deal with that once they graduate and start their own practices... but i think that equally often theyre going to be working with instigators and we cant demomize them because we see our own childhood bullies in them

Just some thoughts

[animevillainscourge]

alfred(o) for tha ask game

smiles even eviler \(òωó)/

Sexuality Headcanon: well this one isnt even a headcanon its literally canon but hes totally got that bisexy swag

ok incredibly late edit but i also hc him as ace (specifically sex repulsed for the most part, but hes neutral on it when it involves yuki) Gender Headcanon: he is a trans guy. sorry twisted dipshit he and yuki are both bi4bi and t4t they told me so themselves A ship I have with said character: well in the terms of more serious ships, him with his wife (yuki) but if were going the crackship route then.... alfguy A BROTP I have with said character: alfred n kao!! i also like alfred and olivers friendship, and itd be cool to see alfred develop a more positive relationship with peter, theyre funny together A NOTP I have with said character: barring all the gross ships cough cough alstery i really dont like alfred n kao romantically, it just rubs me the wrong way A random headcanon: hes got ocd + maybe some undiagnosed autism too. also, not really a hc, but itd be neat if he was an unreliable narrator? the way he talks about shia makes it sound like he doesnt actually think his son is dead so itd be cool to have that line of thinking slowly warp the narrative, although idk if that was intentional or not

another edit but i also hc him to be schizophrenic, although this is less of a hc and more of a "there is textual evidence for this but its never directly stated" General Opinion over said character: i love this shitty dog man.... hes such an inch resting character and im so excited to see where his arc goes in ch2

[desertfragments]

🖊

i forgot what meme this was AGAIN

anyway its loving and appreciating Jay hours.

so.

ive had this oc for about a decade now. she started out as a self insert in order to indulge in media-fueled fantasies as a bored 10yo. obviously this is 2022, and not 2010, and since then, shes grown and changed as a person so much. shes basically her own person now, and shes gone from an angsty pre-teen to a well-rounded adult.

part of that is that shes got friends now! 90% of the history is on the blog somewhere, but a lot of the reason why she got better. ik im preaching to the choir here because its *you* but w/e. i love that shes friends with cyrus because i dont think jay would be the person she is now if she hadnt.

for reference, jay as a preteen got a whopping heap of abandonment issues after her parental figure at the time ditched her, on top of general depression and undiagnosed adhd. jays also an orphan (lmao) and shes just the worst at making friends. and then she met cyrus, whos basically in the same boat, and theyre gonna do what lonely teenager do and become best friends.

its extra funny because part of the reason they bonded was because theyre both mutually Bad At Their Gender. jays afab, but shes so genderfluid that she went and got stuck in Boy mode. cyrus is also gnc and in royal au, dresses extremely femininely. jays always been fairly tomboy-ish, with only a little tolerance for femininity. shes still this way, but now she basically is only ever in Boy mode. the most she gets towards femininity is being genderfluid. shes gotten more comfortable with femininity lately, but its very much in a butch way. its very sexy of her and im gonna get thirst trap art of her someday.

i also really like the general kinda found family vibe that jay has with her friends, esp xander and jeremy, because i think they really helped out a lot with making her less alone and giving her a support system to actually be a person.

also like hey fun fact but jay found out she was an orphan as an adult, which. it caused a Crisis, mostly bc its one of those. redefining the self kinda moments bc shes been alone most of her life, but also its something that she didnt care about in the end? connecting with her family isnt a terribly high priority for her. like it *is* important to her but its like number five or six on the list

anyway i love her v much. shes a wonderful everyman character and so much fun to write <3

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically