#really nervous about this
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everyone be quiet i'm manifesting
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb hunter#mods art#mods draws#my art#YAYYYYY ITS DONE#i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think#just on and off#whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this#it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad šš#but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool#very self indulgent but!!! whatever#i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol#okay byeeeeee#ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD#okay bye fr
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save me bonnie isatā¦ bonnie isatā¦ save meā¦
woah what!!! isat fanart with color??? preposterous. greyscaled versions under the cut!! (and also the last doodle without the crusty old drawing next to it!! incase you want to use it for anything)
anyways. uh. scampers away like a little rat
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#haha so maybe if i schedule this to post after i fall asleep the AnxiĆ©tĆ© in my brain wonāt blow me up#<- guy who is about to explode#first time posting art on tumblr woooo#and it only took. a year and a half#and a month of telling people that iāll definitely post art soon#but anyways hi to anyone who recognizes me from isatcord!!#iāve been in fandom before but iāve never had the courage to actually. engage?? with people??#but talking to people in the server has been really nice??? you guys are so friendly??#so um#thanks for the warm reception!!! and the patience!! god iāve kept yall waiting#hopefully by the time i wake up iāll be less nervous
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i had a dream last night that i organized a tumblr meetup and we all agreed to go to a local bar together. so i go to the bar but it was a really busy night and i didn't want to ask every stranger "are u here for tumblr reasons" bc that's embarrassing and i'm shy. so i just got a drink and felt very awkward & hoped someone would approach me. tried to look inviting and like i was from tumblr but not like i was "from tumblr". when i left some girl stopped me to ask if i was there for the meetup but i was too shy and asked what's tumblr?
in the dream i went home to make a post about how nobody showed up to the tumblr meetup but my entire dash was people saying they'd gone to the bar but were too fucking shy to admit to being on tumblr so we'd all just had a drink and gone home
#i have very vivid usually very logical dreams due to my ptsd#i'm skipping the part where i was really nervous about what to wear bc i didn't want to wear the wrong thing#also the drinks were all pink & with umbrellas . also after this in the dream there was this guy#who had been there in a chicken costume and was ''funny'' but then he was always outside my window#down the street . in the store. etc.#just standing there . moving like he was drowning. he kept signing that he was choking#and i was too scared to help while his feathers .... floating and bloated in the dry air#.... while he begged me with his weird puffy wings. silently. choking and choking and choking. his toes barely touching down#and meanwhile im like sorry dude i gotta jump on tumblr to talk about this bar experience#dream me: okay the drowning on dry land chicken guy is fine. but i draw the line at social anxiety
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OLYMPIAN GODS
HADES (dev. Supergiant Games)
#hades#hades game#hadesedit#gamingedit#indieedit#gameplaydaily#dailygaming#userrose#tuserrae#creatormari#usercynti#usermbg#usersarah#wlwaerith#vindicia#*hades#*gif#help i'm so nervous about posting this >.<#but also really proud! it's my first time making this sort of gifset
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Despite having more teammates, Neil still regularly plays full games bc he knows he can and likes to. Wymack let's him bc it's one of the only sure-fire ways to get that boy worn out enough to chill. His stamina is out of this world by the time he goes pro and his team doesn't know how to handle him bc pros have way bigger teams and there's no way a rookie is going to get that much play time (not to mention, you just don't do full games that's ridiculous)
But like
What are they supposed to DO with him
He runs circles around them at practice despite being there long before and after official times. He's been caught multiple times by himself late at night. And when he's not on the court, he's on the bench running his mouth.
His coach reaches out to the coach of another team, one he thinks might be able to give some advice. But Kevin's coach just says "oh god i was going to call and ask YOU wtf to do he's going to decimate my team"
They conference in a third coach who is not much help bc the only thing David Wymack says after laughing himself breathless is "good fucking luck" and he hangs up
#this is STUPID let me HAVE IT#all exy coahes have each others numbers#but really i want neil so nervous about his first pro team bc he remembers acclimating to collegiate exy this MUST be harder than that#but during his first scrimmage he runs literal circles around his teammates#aftg#neil josten#kevin day
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Just some words I've been needing to hear for a few weeks now and once I finally wrote them down, I thought maybe there were other people who might need to hear them too ā¤ļø
You don't need to be anyone's favorite writer for your writing to be good.
The worth of your writing is not measured by whether or not you're included in fic recs or the amount of comments/asks you get.
Your works don't need to be recognized as some of The fics of the fandom to be good or worth reading.
'Popular' writers in your fandom are also just writers (and humans!!) : you don't need to impress or be noticed by them to have a place in your fandom. Fandom should be fun so don't let your brain ruin it with a misplaced sense of competition <3
You don't need to post a fic every week to be considered a writer. You don't need to write every week to be a writer. There is no limited places in fandom: come and go as you want and as life allows you to. Post when you feel like it, there is no trend to surf on to stay 'relevant' as a fic writer or a content creator. Fandom will always wait for you.
Your writing is good, and the more you write, the more you find your style, the better it gets.
Your writing made someone's day. Your writing is helping the fandom stay alive. Your writing should make you happy, and that happiness should not be proportional to how recognized you are in your fandom.
I know it can be discouraging to see tons of fic recs in your fandom and none of them including your fics. But yesterday, when I was feeling down, I re-read my own published works because they were the stories I wanted to read. And I enjoyed reading them, so much. And that is enough to keep me writing, because it showed me there is no better person to write the stories I have in my head than myself (a huge progress considering months ago, I couldn't reread something I'd written because I was cringeing too hard to get through two sentences).
Find your people that will always hype you and your fics up: you and your writing don't have to appeal to every single person in your fandom. Write niche fics! Rarepairs seemingly no one brought up before! Include headcanons and takes and interpretations you've never seen written before!
Write the stories you are dying to read, and I promise you, you'll find other people who were hoping to find that story somewhere, too.
Your writing is unique because it can only ever be yours and same goes for your stories; your writing is worth reading and your stories are worth being written <3
#feeling really nervous about posting this because my brain is convinced people will think it's a dig when it is absolutely not#but they're the words I needed someone to tell me for weeks so if it can help anyone <3#so I really hope no one interprets them as a dig lmao#every work published is a blessing to the fandom#kind of my take on the write for yourself i guess#writing positivity#on writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing encouragement#writing motivation
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back at it again with the viet beam feat. jackpot combo against the king!
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#act 3 spoilers#just in case#okay everyone please smack me if i gotta make that gif bigger#bc i never really made gifs before and im nervous about it#anyways im very normal about this game#and i definitely dont spend too much time rethinking their designs to be a blend of european and viet fashion#its what i wanted to do initially which is why odile has that coat but i got carried away with isabeau and mirabelle#i know its for fun but also what if fashion informs the world#idly kicks a rock#ill come up with more designs later#the draws#if you saw me reupload this no u didnt
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08/28/2024
I'm working almost every day this week and uber prices have gone way up in my area
I need at least $25 by 6pm pst this evening to get to work today and $100 total to cover the rest of the week
My account was drained by food medicine and things we need to improve our quality of life so anything helps rn
CA: $lezsalt or $sleepyhen
Vm: wildwotko
Dm 4 PPL
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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can we talk more about avpd being a (proposed) schizospec disorder? because i almost never see that theory talked about but i wish it was. likeā¦
avpd makes me censor my thoughts because i think someone might hear what iām thinking and see what a horrible person i am on the inside or judge me for thinking embarrassing things.
avpd makes me so afraid of someone walking in on me doing something i Shouldnāt Be Doing that my brain twists background noise into the sounds of whispers and footsteps behind me.
avpd makes me so worried about people staring at me that in my peripheral vision, anyone near me looks like theyāre already staring at me, and itās only when i look at them directly that i realize theyāve been looking in a totally different direction the whole time.
avpd makes me so convinced of how much everyone must secretly hate me that i often start thinking everyone secretly wants to hurt me too, to the point where iāve had panic attacks from a person walking too close behind me because i feel like theyāre getting ready to attack me (when i havenāt had any kind of trauma that would create that fear), and the paranoia just serves to reinforce my need to avoid people.
avpd makes me lose my ability to speak or reduces it to nothing more than one word answers only when spoken to, turning the thoughts i wanted to express into a jumble thatās impossible to turn into words or just throwing them away completely and making my mind go blank, so i end up just staring at people silently or even acting like i donāt see them standing there at all (not on purpose but because my brain wonāt let me engage with them).
avpd makes me look damn near emotionless around everyone but my safe person (and sometimes even around my safe person) because showing my emotions would be far too vulnerable for its liking, so it completely takes away my ability to express them.
and i could keep going! there are so many things i experience because of avpd that iāve seen really closely reflected in the experiences of schizospec people. i donāt know how common these kinds of things are in avpd overall, but theyāre a really prominent part of my experience with it, so when i found out that some research suggested it could be considered a schizospec disorder itself, that made so much sense to me! and iād be so curious to see how many other avoidants have dealt with this stuff but havenāt talked about it because itās never mentioned as being part of avpd.
#this post was brought to you from the Looking Over My Shoulder Frozen In Fear Because Of The Whispersā¢ļø position#which is. quite a common position for me#im honestly kinda nervous to post this bc i feel like somebodyās gonna be like āthats not avpd!ā or āthats not schizospec stuff!ā#but oh well. thatās just how it is on the internet#i also feel a little weird about the wording bc i donāt really see avpd as an outside force that Makes Me do things#but itās 5am and im too tired to think of a better way to say it#poss.speaks#discussion#avpd#actually avpd#actually avoidant#avoidant pd#avoidant personality disorder#cluster c#schizospec#schizophrenia spectrum#schizo spectrum#schizotaxic
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have you ever wanted to justā¦take care of a little guy? or just like shake him around lol
this idea has been living in my head for almost two years now but its finally timeā¦ benrey tamagotchi shaker charm preorders are opening on wed. july 3!!!
its my first time making a shaker charm and if this one does well enough i wanna make one for all the main cast too :D ive already got them sketched and everything.
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#benrey#gabuart#the key to making merch really is just making stuff you wanna own#so ive been excited (if nervous) about this one for a long time
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new year, new commission post and prices.
i'm willing to discuss most off-menu things as well as discounts for bulk orders of things like little guys, so don't hesitate to ask! message me here @nanistar if you are interested!
#commissions#i didnt want to raise my prices but im 7k in medical debt and have until this october to pay it soooo i kinda have to#i also dont really want to offer paintings bc im nervous about them but again. need the money lol#please do not message my main blog with commission requests#it will get buried under the shitposts i send back and forth w my friends and also i want all my business stuff connected with this account
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I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.
But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)
And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved
Bonus:
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#The cuddles are mutually beneficial#Both of these boys desperately need a little love and affection#Really I just imagined Killer hugging up on Cross so close it looks like he's a living blanket and I wanted to draw it#And then y'know what? Throw in HorrorDust cuddles too while we're here#Cross is nervous they'll find out he desperately wants touch and think less of him#As if he didn't just have the exact same revelation with Killer and nobody said a word#As if he isn't sitting across from people literally in each other's laps#It's okay he won't get rid of Killer any time soon and he's about to be like a barnacle on this man#So he'll get all the hugs he could need#I'm in a very sappy cuddly mood today it seems#Also I forgot the username but the person who made the ''we need more kross'' post this one is partially for you!!
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fish x mammal yuri
#kewpie's art#fishwoman#shark#cat#sheās doin the thing where you slowly put your arm on someoneās shoulders#but sheās really nervous about it
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Hi!
@shapeshiftinterest ās art of kid Bowser and Luigi is the cutest thing, so I drew some of them too!
#super mario bros#bowser#luigi#bowuigi#its not really but still akjsdasd#the artist already drew bowser with his bands but i added another fang so he doesn't look that much like junior alskdad#my art#i love them#anyways bowser broke his face after that fall#alsooo i have been drawing so much of them and im kinda nervous to post but ill do it eventually alsdka#BTW shapes-the rest of ur url if you read this i love your art <333#sorry about the tagging tho but credit must be given sjs
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EEEP! so excited to say i got to create my own rendition of the orville peck pony album cover for it's 5 year anniversary today :') if you want the shirt, it's up for preorder right now on his shop!
#orville peck#pony#my art#literally so honored to a.) work w his team again and b.) to get to draw this specifically#i was so nervous about living up to it š but im really happy w how it turned out#hope yall like it too!!
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