#really i just want to stay in my own lane from now on
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strohller27 · 1 year ago
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#i’ve been working through some stuff in my head#and I’ve realised that so much of my life I’ve occupied the spaces in-between#like I acheived certain things in my life because I was literally the only one who stepped up#but it was also like. I wasn’t the first choice for something I was always just what was available#or I tried to carve out something for myself and it ended up either being taken away from me or getting ruined somehow#like when I was in the pipe band I became drum major because I was literally the only drummer (not that anyone really liked me…#i was just. the only choice there was until someone else came along).#or when I moved up the ladder at the tutoring service it was during Covid and I had to work so much harder because#we just didn’t have a full team.#or when I had to do my undergraduate thesis by myself because also covid#and now having to do my research project basically 100% by myself because my advisor ‘‘can’t’’ advise me#(​except he can apparently write me some exam questions next semester)#idk I just feel like the extra frozen water on the side of the ice cube tray of life#and now I’m in Canada and I’m trying to make a place for myself#I want this to work out. I want to be able to solidify the life that I want without having to live on the fucking edge#I’m tired of staying in my ‘lane’ when my ‘lane’ has always been ‘standing on the side to let others pass’#Listen up queers I am allowed to take up space and I am occupying this part of the lane#if you don’t like it then you can make your own fucking lane#I’m just trying to make a life in this ridiculous precarious world I don’t want to have to play it safe anymore#I want to get into a PhD programme and study what I want to study#I want to meet someone I can trust with myself when I’m fragile and someone who trusts me with themself when they’re fragile#I want to live in a house I don’t have to worry about losing and make enough money to live comfortably#I want to stop merely surviving and start *living*#and I’m going to do everything in my power to achieve that
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#reminder to self#self talk#tag talk#every day that I remain normal (give or take the effects of moving stress) is an affirmation that I was right#that accepting trans identity was in fact my answer and it was not taking antidepressants or adhd meds#that euphoria I felt? self acceptance in the face of annihilation. transphobia kills and I'm done hearing it from anyone#like. I can do whatever I want. what are you gonna do to me? kill me? you'll do a better job than I could?#I am done with dying. been there done that moved on to better happier and more fun things that I prefer#literally the anger I feel right now. I don't care if you're kind. if you're nominally tolerant. if you're able to stay in your own lane#when I see people being even mildly transphobic I will stand up on a table and throw things at you.#that ridicule causes sup/repression that literally kills people. I'm not dead so I get to live as antagonistically as I want.#remember. you're gonna die one day. either you'll kill yourself. you'll get murdered. or you'll just live to death. fucking do something#DO SOMETHING WITH THAT TIME. stop giving a shit. do you really think it matters?#“oh but my parents really do love me” fuck 'em. tell them you hate their guts. tell them you've given up on them#call people out for being unchanging inflexible and ignorant.#don't let people get away with being awful. you can be kind. but do not be compromising. do not be permissive. do not forgive. expect better#rage is a direction. rage is forward. rage is up. rage is down if you want it to be. rage is dropped ballast.
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totalswag · 2 months ago
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midnight adventures — RAFE CAMERON
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authors note here's a little something sweet for you guys. soft!rafe will forever have my heart. happy reading lovies.
— taglist if you want to be notified whenever i post leave a comment and you’ll be added.
summary having trouble sleeping throughout the night and text rafe if you can go on a drive to relax your mind
warning(s) trouble sleeping and rafe being the best boyfriend.
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"Please sleep," you say to yourself, on the verge of tears, staring at the ceiling and running your hands through your hair with frustration.
It was three in the morning.
You've recently struggled to sleep at night, falling asleep around four in the morning, getting five hours of sleep, and yet feeling exhausted during the day.
Rolling over on your side, a huff escapes your lips as you reach your arm up to the nightstand, where your phones are plugged in. You take it off the charger and call your boyfriend, Rafe.
He responded within five seconds, sounding sleepy and worried. After you've finished stating your sleeping problems, he says he'll be there in ten minutes.
Rafe's truck can be heard from around the corner; a smile forms on your face. You put your slides on and one of Rafe's sweatshirt on then walk downstairs to the front door.
You snuck out of the house quietly and hopped into the passenger seat, greeted by the familiar perfume of Rafe's cologne combined with the subtle aroma of leather.
"Hey," he whispered softly, reaching over to offer your hand a comforting squeeze. "Ready?"
"Yeah," you replied, beaming warmly at him. "Thank you for this."
"Anything for you," he said, turning the truck into gear and driving away from your home turning out of the neighborhood.
He hands you his unlocked phone for music; you're usually on aux in his car. You pick the first song you liked and would set the mood.
You feel his right hand on your thigh, the thumb gently caressing. You let yourself relax under his touch.
"You want to grab something to eat?" He asks out of the blue, checking his shoulder before changing lanes and glancing at you for a response.
"Can we go to the store?" You recommended pointing to the store across the street. 
"Of sure, Baby.”
After getting some snacks, Rafe drove to your favorite spot, the beach. Generally this is your favorite spot to go whenever you want to get away from everything.
Rafe backed into the parking area so you could face the water in the dim light. You took the two blankets he keeps in the second row as he moved around to open your door.
Rafe drew you closer to him once the two of you had settled in. You looked up at him, admiring how blessed you were to have him.
"If you want to kiss me, just tell me," he quips, his eyes fixed on the water. You hit him in the chest, making him laugh, then kissed him.
"What's keeping you up all night princess?" He asks quietly, gently pushing your hair away from your face and examining your expression.
Rafe loathes witnessing you struggle to fall asleep or feel this way. Regardless of the circumstance, he has always been there for you in an instant. You find him most admirable in that regard. You are very fortunate to have him.
"I honestly don't know what's causing it," you shrugged, "stress might be the main factor or something else" was the only response you could give him right now. I'm not sure what is causing you to stay up late and never get enough sleep.
Rafe furrows his brows.
"You know I'd come sleep with you if you had problems falling asleep, and I don't want you to lose sleep. You value your sleep, I know that." You laugh at how much you value your sleep—you really do.
After a while, a few subjects are discussed. A cold breeze blows through the night, and the sound of the waves is calming. You can sense your own body becoming more at ease.
In silence, Rafe and you lay together covered by blankets. It seemed like the ideal moment. You drew closer to him— he also smells good.
"You almost ready to go?" Rafe asks curiously, "I don't want your parents waking up to you not in your bed" you stopped yourself after he finished his sentence, nodding. 
"Yeah we couldn't have that" you joke.
He turned on the ignition after the two of you got comfortable in the truck, allowing it to warm up for five minutes as you had been sitting on the bed with the truck turned off for an hour. 
It took ten minutes to make the drive back to your home. You didn't want to spend the remainder of the night apart from Rafe. Compared to before you saw him, you felt calmer and more content. 
"Can you stay?" If you think about it, what you're asking kindly amounts to pleading.
He replies sarcastically, "How can I refuse?" and then leans in to give you a kiss on the lips before turning off his truck.
Quitely entering your house with Rafe closely behind you. You turned your phone flashlight on incase of running into stuff and waking everyone up.
When you got to your room you took your slides and socks off your feet then flopping on your bed. Rafe took his shirt off along with shoes and socks. You opened your arms waiting for Rafe to get into bed with you.
"Don't worry, I'm coming," he says, placing his shirt on the desk chair across the room.
"Oh, that's what she said," you laugh.
Fake laughing, Rafe says, "Haha so funny" as he slides under the covers.
Snuggling closer to Rafe, you let out a sigh of relief as you kissed his naked chest several times and drew invisible hearts before feeling your eyes close.
You yawn with exhaustion, "Thank you for keeping me company tonight, baby, it means a lot, I love you."
"I love you too princess and that's what I'm supposed to do, take care of my beautiful girlfriend when she's in times like this."
You shared a final kiss with Rafe and then dozed out in each other's arms.
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doromoni · 2 months ago
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Not Over the Papaya | OP81
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⊹ 。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader
Genre : Fluff Smau
A/N : Thank you guys for dropping messages 🧡 I really really appreciate them and I love interacting w/ u guys 🥺. If you have questions or anything u want to say to me~ go ahead and don’t be shy.
Face claim : Jennie Kim
Warnings : Cursing , Grammatical Errors
Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
< Previous | Part 11 | Next >
skysportsf1
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liked by user1 and others
skysportsf1 P3 for Oscar! Catch up with the interview with our Fav Aussie in Papaya
user1 This interview was filled with so much tension (?) I can’t explain it.
user2 Osc looks like his both happy and at the same time angry??
user3 YES EXACTLY. Boy was seething and so uncomfortable when he was asked about Lando and Mclaren… then he was all smiles for the last question??
user4 “i’m paid to race, so I’ll race” OK SIR 🥶
user5 Oscar said fuck Lando’s race, I’m driving for myself
user6 Kimi Raikkonen is back y’all… hello Ice man
user7 Oscar has the WDC mentality 🔥
user8 A lot will happen?? what will happen huh Oscar Jack Piastri?? tell us.
user9 He is planning smth i swear.
user10 Ok Osc is pissed about Mclaren. That joke about losing his job was so dry, boi was angry fr.
user11 watch out for lap 1 turn 1 tomorrow. Oscar is taking the gap!!
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f1wags.
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liked by user1 and user2
f1wags Y/N was spotted leaving the Hilton (McLaren’s hotel).
user1 Noooooooooo Y/N pls dont leave! like where are you even going 😭
user2 First Y/N wasnt present in Quali and now she’s leaving the hotel??? what happened to her and Oscar??
user1 pls dont let them end before they even started
user2 I just got to know about them and I refuse to let it go!
user3 Did she leave with her luggage? maybe she went out for smth??
user4 She was spotted carrying her suitcase😭
user5 Lando Norris I swear to everything you love I’ll hunt you down
user6 Seriously, he couldn’t just let Y/N be happy huh? Bro had to cheat and make more problems 🤡
user7 Ik!! Dude stay on your lane. You end ella deserve each other so much
user8 who’s ella?
user9 Oh shes just Y/N’s ex friend that Lando cheated with 🤢. Lando and her really do complement each other so well 🤡
user10 WHY IS THERE A RUMOR THAT Y/N AND OSCAR ARE OVER?!!
user11 I mean if its true and they’re done… they couldnt even last 1 race week together. What kind of relationship is that 🙂
user12 @user11 a normal one?? imagine having so much stress and an ex trying to sabotage your love life.
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
Notification : you received a message from Osc🧡
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*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Pick Up
“I’m literally on the way, Osc. stop worrying!”
“I know, I know! I just miss you so much my most beautiful and lovely girlfriend”
“And whose fault was that hmm?”
“Mine…”
“Uhuh, I’ll be over there in a few minutes be patient dum-dum”
“Did John give you the keys to my room?”
“He did. I still can’t believe you got a room next to Charles’s without the rest of McLaren knowing that one of their drivers is not in their hotel”
“Well that one of the pros of them only caring about Lando’s ass”
“Thank you McLaren favoritism. I still can’t fucking believe that they’re ordering you around for personal matters”
“Yeah, fucking unbelievable. I thought Alpine was the worst. What employer has the right to dictate their driver’s personal decisions? they’re fucking crazy.”
“But are you sure you want to disobey orders? We could always keep us lowkey…”
“Screw lowkey and screw team orders! I’m not keeping us a secret!”
“As long as you want it Osc, I’m ok with anything as long as i’m with you”
“I’m perfectly sure, Dear”
“Ok. Oh! I’m near the hotel.”
“I’ll fetch you in the lobby alright?”
“mhm. Bye ~ love you!”
“love you more”
call ended
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Y/N. close friends 3m
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story replies
oscarpiastri am i forgiven then my luv? 🥺
Y/N. Hell nah, im still making you work for it 😌
oscarpiastri We have our whole lives, take your time~ im not leaving baby. Till death do us part girl.
Y/N. Wtf, i’m your girlfriend for hours and ur thinking about marriage???
oscarpiastri Yes. ur meeting my parents next week 🥰😘
Y/N. I have no words Oscar Jack Piastri
oscarpiastri an I do would be great
Y/N. I cant with you HAHAHAHAHA i love you so much. thank you for not giving up on us
oscarpiastri I love you so much more and I’m not making the mistake of letting you go.
danielricciardo Girl you were just crying yesterday I-
Y/N. ok now i’m crying for a different reason
danielricciardo I dont want to hear your sex life with Osc. pls dont 😷
Y/N. DANNY WTF NOT THAT 😩. I meant I’m crying tears of joy… I’m not going to talk about my sex life with u tf
danielricciardo that’s what i meant stupid! ur like a sister to me. Get u and oscs germs away from me🤢
Y/N. Stfu dweeb 🤓.
danielricciardo thank fuck that u two straightened things out . You two owe me big time for being ur messenger 😤
Y/N. yeah yeah~ thanks danny 😘🧡
danielricciardo I’m not kidding, you OWE me 🤡
y/bf DAMN OK. I expected an update but not this . Holy damn Y/N! so you and osc are good then?
Y/N. We areeeeee… and its official~ 🙈
y/bf Oh thank goodness!! Im so glad y/nieee 😭. I was about to book a flight too, you bitch!
Y/N. Really?? ughh you really do love me.
Y/bf are you happy?
Y/N. Yes. I really am .. and I think Osc and I need a to label our relationship. sooo yeahh~ let more drama pour, at least now we know where we stand.
f1wags.
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liked by user1 and others
f1wags. Y/N is in the paddock for the race 🧡
user1 Y/N FINALLY!! girl ur lack of attendance made us worry!! pls tell us u and osc are ok???
user2 The 2 days you’ve been gone in the paddock made everyone crazy! Theories of breakups and come backs are spread 😭
user3 Y/N strutting back in the paddock like nothing happened ~ Ok slay. I need that type of confidence
user4 Fr, Y/N waltzing in like she didn’t just drop a literal diss track on Lando
user5 As she should 💅
user6 THAT FIT THO 🥵🔥
user7 she ain’t dressing Lowkey Y’all . She’s here and she’s ready to serve!
user8 when Oscar said things are happening? things are HAPPENING and it starts with Y/N L/N.
user9 Ok Y/N! show them what’s up.
user10 McLaren can’t stop this girl.
Y/N. 45m
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story replies
oscarpiastri Thank you Baby 🧡
Y/N. That overtake in turn 1 was so good Osc!! I got goosebumps
oscarpiastri ur only saying that cuz I got Lando down into P4 with my move
Y/N. NO you just were amazing! ngl i did enjoy throwing Lando out 👹
oscarpiastri I did promise a show 😉 and speaking of shows~ I need to go to our de breifing and watch them clown around.
Y/N. Okay! I’ll be with Alex at Ferrari. Call me when you need meeee. Bye luv.
* at McLaren motorhome, driver debriefing room.
-what the fuck was that at turn 1 Oscar?!-
-That’s what you call racing, I saw a gap and I took it-
-You cost me my race. That podium should be mine-
-Not my fault you bottled your first lap, now is it?-
-OK STOP. Oscar you should think about the team! Lando was on pole!-
-Funny how that works. You hired me to drive and I did. I got you your podium and points for your constructors-
-Follow team orders! that’s your fucking job-
-What you expect me to sit still and take it?-
-Yes, Oscar. That’s how this team works-
- Tsk and that goes for personal matters too?-
-Ah, so that’s what it is? This is about Y/N. Are you worried that she’ll see you as the loser you are?-
-Not at all, specially when I don’t get babied by the team. Tell me how does it feel like kissing up the boss’ ass? -
- FUCK YOU! -
-THAT’S ENOUGH. Oscar you should know when to stop! You’re still new here… learn your place and follow orders exactly as stated — and that goes with Y/N L/N keep your distance or face the consequences -
- Watch me -
*Incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Pick up
“Hi Osc! are you done?”
“Dear, do you trust me?”
“What?…. about what?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes. I do”
“Ok. Baby we’re going public”
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Extra A/N: hihihi did I scare you with the false breakup?? 🤭
Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed
Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now
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moonstruckme · 1 year ago
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could you do a poly!marauders with fem reader where reader doesn’t swear at all (or like REALLY rarely) and the boys are with her and something happens and she just starts cussing like a sailor and the boys are like O: ??where??did??that??come??from??
Thanks for requesting my love! This is not based at all on anything that's ever happened to me ofc (I've never cursed even once in my life and am a very attentive driver) but it was fun to write!!
cw: near-miss car accident
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 820 words
“I can’t believe you keep the seat so far back,” you say, squinting into the rear view mirror. 
“Right?” James backs you up from where he’s gently massaging Remus’ knee in the backseat. “Moony, your height is an injustice to us all.” 
Sirius smirks out the passenger window. “I don’t mind it.” 
You laugh, glancing into the mirror to assess Remus’ countenance. He’s usually the one to drive the four of you around, but he’d woken up this morning with his knee aching and none of you had wanted to chance him getting a cramp or tweaking a muscle while he had his foot on the gas. He claims the pain isn’t bad and the rest of you are playing along, but his promises do little to reassure you. Remus’ tolerance is crazy high from years of aches, pains, and injuries, so him saying it doesn’t hurt very much is like when Sirius says he’ll be over in five minutes; he probably believes it to be true, but everyone else knows better. 
Remus’ lips are twisted slightly upward at your bantering, though, and when you scan his face for signs of tension or discomfort you don’t find any. He starts to lean onto James’ shoulder, then shoots back up, eyes widening. 
Sirius’ sharp inhale has you whipping your attention back out the windshield, where another car is trying to butt into the small space between your car and the one in front.
“Fucking fuck!” You hit the brakes and slam the butt of your hand into the horn, letting it blare until the intruding car swerves back into their lane. If you’d hit them, it would have been Sirius’ side colliding with the driver’s door. Your blood pounds in your ears. “What the hell, jackass? Stay in your own fucking lane!” You start to pass them, and the driver hastily puts down his phone, avoiding your gaze. “Yeah, how about we stay off our goddamn phones while we’re on the road? Fucking dumbass.” 
You blow out a harsh breath, refocusing on the traffic around you now that the danger has passed. The car has gone completely silent. “Oh no, Remus, did it hurt your knee when I braked, honey? I’m so sorry.” 
A beat, and then Remus clears his throat. “Uh, no.”
The tension doesn’t break. You wouldn’t blame the boys if they were still in shock from your near-miss, but the quiet is a bit unnerving. You’re fighting the urge to look over at Sirius or glance at Remus and James in the rear view mirror, not wanting to take your eyes off the road again. 
You jump when James asks, “What just happened?” at the same time as Sirius shouts “Fucking yeah, baby!” and holds up his hand for you to high-five. 
You barely brush it with your fingertips, hesitant and a bit wary. “What?”
“Dove,” Remus says hoarsely, “I’ve never heard that kind of language from you.” 
“Oh.” Your ears burn. “Yeah, sorry.” 
Sirius makes a sound that’s half startlement, half something else. You chance a look his way, and he’s grinning at you, mouth hanging slightly open. You think those might be stars in his eyes. “Don’t fucking apologize,” he laughs, sounding downright giddy. “That was great! Fantastic! I didn’t know you had this side to you, gorgeous.”
You shrink a bit in your seat, but there’s nowhere to go. You know if you check your mirror, you’ll find two more pairs of eyes staring at you from the backseat. “I don’t usually…well, you guys haven’t been around me while I’m driving before.” 
James guffaws. Sirius has begun to shake with silent laughter beside you. “Do you mean to tell me this happens every time you drive?” James asks.
“Not every time,” you say defensively. “They spooked me.” 
“They spooked you?” Sirius hoots from beside you, and now you can hear even Remus’ quiet chuckling. “Baby, I didn’t know you knew half those words! If that’s what happens when you drive, I want you behind the wheel every time.” 
“Oi,” Remus objects, but there’s no offense to be found in his tone. “It’s not like I don’t cuss.” 
“No,” James replies, reaching up to squeeze at your shoulders playfully, “but with you it’s not usually such a performance. That was a spectacle!” 
“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised,” you say, but you’re giggling now too, worse when Sirius joins in on James’ teasing, pinching at your side. “You all curse like sailors, you were bound to rub off on me eventually.” 
“It’s not like you’re not allowed to curse, dovey,” Remus says. “It’s just that we weren’t expecting it from you.” 
“And what, you’re gonna act like it’s our fault?” Sirius scoffs, poking you in the ribs and grinning when you squirm away. “As if any of us would ever say ‘fucking fuck.’ That’s an amateur's work, gorgeous. Can’t blame us for that one.” 
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probablyintensemuses · 5 months ago
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Tiny Little Good Things-
A. Aretas
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PAIRING: ARMANDO X READER
synopsis: You and Armando get sent on a mission to stop a vicious drugs and arms dealer. Chaos ensues and you two find out why the lines between love and hate are constantly blurring for you both.
theme(s): eventual smut (+18), gore and blood, cursing, graphic imagery, angst, enemies to lovers, Armando is a dick and really hot when he speaks Spanish.
warnings: there is smut in this fic as well as many bloody scenes, if you can’t handle either, I wouldn’t read on!
authors note: hi, yes I know this fic is long as shit, but I felt it was necessary for what unfolds. There is more than 12k words here, so sorry to all my short attention span people. ❤️love you, k bye!
word count: 12.5k
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“Ramos Malik, age thirty-seven and Miami’s biggest up and coming arms and drug dealer.’ Kelly says, fingers gracing her iPad as she swivels through pictures, displaying them on the plasma screen ahead.
“He’s a big fucking problem. 3D printing' slugs that are hitting the streets faster than crack in the seventies.’ Mike Lowery, head of AMMO, interjects. “Shells the size of a thumbs, sharper than lions teeth, are being pulled out of rival gang members, bystanders, and law enforcement all around the city.”
You turn in your chair, pushing away from your computer screen. “So, how do we stop him?”
Dorn rounds the steel table, a slab of guns, gear, and tech, gently taking the iPad from Kelly’s hand, and you don’t miss the way she blushes. It’s cute, those two. Kelly and you had grown close ever since you joined AMMO as their new technical analyst months ago. Dorn gave up the position, wanting to be present in the field—mostly to have Kelly’s six—he and his therapist had been making great progress and he felt it was time to be more than the brawny guy in the chair.
So that lead to you taking over and eventually many girls nights full of red wine, cheese, and pillow talking. A slip of a wine-jaded tongue later and you were the first on the team to know of their love affair. Sometimes you desired to have that of your own, but life and fate, as Marcus would say, hadn’t given that to you yet.
“Good question, followed by an even better answer.’ Dorn sails and the screen changes and a new scene plays. “This is Moxy, a new club on the strip. It’s where Ramos Malik and his crew hang out. Rumor has it he’ll be there tonight, and we're going to bind him with a sting.”
Intrigued you stand. “You need me to make inconspicuous body cams, don’t you?’ You gasp and breath deeply, a smile spreading on your face. “God I love it when you guys want me to make inconspicuous body cams.”
Dorn coughs and Kelly looks off to the side, biting at her nails. Mike walks over slowly, slapping a hand onto both your shoulders.
“Now, we know how much our sweet little, non-violent, girl here loves to just stay in her lane and chill here while we get into all the bloody action.’ Mike massages your shoulders, displaying you off to the group like a fresh piece of wagyu. You scan the crew's faces—mischief, panic, fear—but the one that snipes you the most is the one of Armando Aretas. He sits perched on a table on the far side of the room, combat boot clad feet planted on a chair as his brown eyes pierce into you, sending tiny, invisible sparks flocking on your skin. You suck in a sharp breath and look away. He always stared, so why did it bother you now?
When your ears finally stop buzzing, you dial back into Mike's speech. “But this time, it’ll be different. You’ll be out in the field.”
As if you were just tased, you jut away from his grip. “What?”
“Ramos can sniff cops a mile away. It’s what makes him so good at what he does.’ Marcus cuts in. “He knows our faces, too. The only face he doesn’t know, is yours.”
You take another step back, heart racing, completely stupefied. “So you want me to go and trick that bastard…by myself?!”
“No! Never!” Mike says. “Armando will be with you.”
A clatter echos through the room, all eyes snapping to where Armando was sitting, the little black stool wobbling on the floor. “The fuck I will!” He growls.
Your eyes narrow and you jut your chin up. What the hell was he so mad for?
“Okay, son, calm down. It’s a simple sting operation. If you’re careful, it’s an in-and- out kind of thing.”
Armando circles close, and out of habit you cower behind the wall of Mike and Dorn. You may have a high IQ but you’re no match physically for anyone on this team, especially not Armando. You’ve seen what he can do countless times. He was the silent beast, he always just stared and hardly spoke. No matter how much you tried to warm up to him, make him feel accepted, you two just never clicked.
You thought it might just be his past, how he was manipulated by his father and lied to by his mother, that made him so closed off, but with the way fury rumbles off of him so strong right now, pushing you deeper into Dorn and Mike, it makes you think there’s more unspoken. And if so, what?
Caged between Mike and Dorn Armando finds your eyes again, scolding your cheeks hot with his glare. It was as if he needed you to not only hear his words but feel them too. “I’m not going on any mission with the princesa. All she does is type and sit in that fucking chair all day. It’ll be suicide.”
Mike takes his son's shoulder, massaging them similar to how he’d done your own. “She’s the only choice right now, okay? She’s just the arm candy to fill out the picture we’re setting for Malik, alright?”
For some reason his words— “just the arm candy?”and “the only choice right now,” —sting. You may not be skilled in the field or in combat, but you were vital to this team and you spent months trying to prove your strengths otherwise. When you first joined the team, everyone insisted on making you their baby bird, some wounded thing they needed to protect in a gilded cage. You were the new young and stary-eyed cop, and they are all jaded-old bags who need someone to shelter. It happened authentically and you still couldn’t shake the box they put you in. You aren’t helpless, you are capable and strong and maybe this is what you need, an opportunity outside to finally prove yourself.
“If he doesn’t want to do it, I’m sure there is someone else in the field we can find.’ A surge of confidence flushes through you as you push past the Mike-Dorn barricade, chin help up high with defiance as you brush past Armando. “Whatever the case, I’ll do it. I can do it. I’m capable Mike, so let’s see my cover.”
A smirk peels on Kelly’s face as she passes you your file. “Okay, Ms. Bad-ass. I’m loving this energy.”
Armando scoffs, planting himself next to you, his broad shoulders brush up against your frail ones. The slight gesture sends a hear through you. Quickly you scoot away, no need to sweat through a perfectly good cardigan over mean-ass Armando Aretas.
You flip through your file. You’ll be playing Jenna Combs. A twenty-six year old dancer and model who is the new girlfriend of—
“You hijos de puta’s got me playing myself?” Armando argues. “What kind of shit disguise is that?”
Dorn shrugs. “It’s not. That’s the point. The Aretas name is still feared and no one knows you’re in with the cops. It’s a pretty believable story, you need new armory and he can supply it.”
“Last anyone in this circles heard, you was killing cops and slinging a new dope empire. Just get em’ to confess to making this bullets and where he does it, so we can get em’ off the streets for good.” Marcus chimes in with a smile.
Armando’s grumbles a few curses under his breath before his attention turns and latches onto you. Suddenly you feel hot again, like a solar flares are swallowing you whole. Armando’s eyes rack over your form, slow and tentative.
His gaze latches onto your lips before he says, “And she’s supposed to be my date? Suicide mission.”
“For who? You or me? Because the way I see it, with your attitude you’ll be made in minutes.”
The gap between you and Armando closes in an instant. Your faces mere inches from each other. His cool breath trickles down the crest of your neck and frosts the tips of your ears when he whispers, “Careful when you speak to me, Princesa. You’ll be alone out there with me, and anything could happen to you.”
Was he…threatening you?
Your balls must have really dropped in the matter of minutes, because instead of keeping quiet and apologizing, like you normally would if you managed to anger Armando, you bite back.
“Stop calling me that.” You grit your teeth.
“¿Por qué, eh?’ Armando whispers, pulling back from you and taking a seat on a nearby stool. His eyes are drunk with a flavor you can’t distinguish. “Only princesas get to sit up in their castle all day, shielded, while everyone else goes out and does all the heavy lifting.”
“I never asked to be shielded!’ You stamp your foot, moving in on him with a swiftness. Armando invites your challenge with grace, folding his muscular arms slowly over his wide chest, watching you stalk nearer.
You don’t know how, but you find yourself in between him, his legs two thick gates around you. Where it should bother you, in the moment it doesn’t because It’s your turn to invade his space. In this moment, the great Armando Aretas doesn’t scare you.
You poke at his chest with each syllable. “Rather you like it or not, Aretas, this princesa is going on this sting with or without you, and I don’t give a shit what you think, not anymore. Cool?”
A small smirk pulls on his face as he peels your finger off his chest, the digit so small in his his hand, his movements making you keenly aware of your closeness.
“Cool.” He stands, boxing you in with his large build before brushing past you and walking out of the compound.
You watch as the last bits of daylight leave with him as the door slams closed. This confidence was like adrenal coursing through you and suddenly you felt tired and zapped, being strong is exhausting. You take a seat, pulling at a loose curl atop your head, thoughts burrowing into your mind like a splinter.
To this day, you couldn’t understand the hatred he had for you. In the begging, when Mike had negotiated a deal with the D.A’s office and the department to allow Armando to work for AMMO, not wanting his raw talents to go to waste, no one trusted him. But still, you gave him a chance, because you knew how it felt to be the underdog and you didn’t want the same for him. Still, in his own fashion, he warmed up to the others…but never to you. But maybe he was right, everyone else here has put so much of themselves of the line, risked it all for the greater good, and what have you done? Nothing. You haven’t saved anyone or changed a life. You’ve sat and watched from the comforts of the compound. Their eyes and ears, that’s all.
You push to standing and gather your file. You may not be the strongest, or fastest on the team, but you had strengths and you’d make use of them tonight for once, no matter what.
Suddenly snickers and chuckle fill the room, bouncing off the walls of your mind and bringing you back to the room glazed with the smell of oil and pinesol.
Marcus breaks through the laughter. “Next time you two want to engage in some foreplay, ask for the room first.”
Your skin nearly peels off at his words. You could burn alive right now.
You and Armando?
“Never would that ever happen.” You shiver at the thought of being with any man, let alone him.
Armando is a mean man. A mean man you suddenly have to trust you life with.
But if that’s the case. Why does your heart not fall to your feet at the thought?
###
“You’ve memorized your role, right?” Kelly asks, tightening the final fixings of your dress.
“Yes,’ you nod. “I’m Armando’s new girlfriend, Jenna. I don’t speak, I just sit quietly and listen. I shadow him, basically. Anything he does, I do.”
“Good girl.’ Kelly winks. “One last thing.’ She digs into her pockets before brandishing a small knife. “Here, just in case things go south.”
Your eyes widen and you nearly flinch. “I thought you and Mike said this was an easy in-and-out kind of deal.”
Kelly sighs. “Nothing like this is ever easy. All things have the potential to go south.’ She grabs your face in her hands. “I just want my girl safe, that’s all.”
Reluctantly, you accept the knife, shoving it into your purse. “What about Armando? Isn’t he supposed to protect me—I mean Jenna?”
“And he will,” Kelly assures. “But you can never be too sure.”
You nod. “Right, whose to say he won’t abandon me if shit oops off,” your snicker is laced with fear.
Kelly walks you out of the compound and toward the front where you’ll be meeting the rest of the team. “He won’t. Trust me.”
“He did allude to it early, Kels.”
Kelly rolls her eyes, stopping you and giving your curls one last fluff. “Aretas is all talk when it comes to you, don’t take him for a grain of salt.”
You frown. “What’s that supposed to be mean.”
Kelly smirks. “See for yourself.”
She steps out of the way and in the shinning exterior of Mikes Ferrari, you see yourself.
Do you look like a slut, yes, but nonetheless gorgeous.
Your curls are loose and defined, a cascade of shea butter and hibiscus around you. Your makeup is layered, yet light, elevating your high cheekbones, wide lips, and honey-brown eyes. And your plum colored dress pops against your warm-brown skin, somehow making even your thin body look full and figured.
You look fucking hot.
And for the first time in forever, you feel fucking hot.
Apparently you’re not the only one who thinks so as a whistle breaks loose in the yard.
“Goddamn girl!’ Mike claps. “If I wasn’t some old dog, I’d ask you on a date myself.”
“I’ll keep my comments to myself,’ Marcus smiles. “You know Theresa be listening.” He looks over his shoulders, head on a swivel.
“Dorn don’t say a word.” Kelly scolds her boyfriend, Dorn holds his hands up in defense.
“Staying silent.” He whimpers.
Your cheeks flush. “Stop, you guys.” You giggle. “This was all Kelly, besides you know I look better in a cardigan and jeans.”
“I agree.” A voice emerges from the darkness. A wide berth breaks before you as Armando strolls over.
Your throat goes dry and suddenly your head is dizzy with a feeling hard to explain, as you take him in.
He’s fresh with a new hair cut, faded low on the sides and thick, raven black up top. His beard is full and more manicured, enunciating the sharp cuts of his jaw.
He’s graced in a suit, black-on-black. The undershirt unbuttoned exposing much of his chiseled chest and the gold, cross necklace that dangles there. His suit jacket fits perfectly over the swells of his biceps and his pants expose every aching muscle in his thigh.
Like gravity, it’s hard to pull your eyes away from him. But somehow you become the void of space and manage to.
You can’t say the same for him though, because despite his insults that same burning, tingling sensation finds its way tip-toeing down your back and to the swell of your ass. One quick spin and you catch Armando’s eyes lifting from your backside to face you.
“I thought I looked better in a cardigan?” You say, breathing heavy.
Was he just? No…
Armando swings open the passenger door for you. “Get in.” He grumbles.
Not wanting to test his patience, you oblige, taking a step into the Farrier.
Armando closes the door behind you before climbing into the passenger side.
At the window, Mike approaches.
“Get in ask Ramos about the bullets, say you heard about them from word of mouth and you’re interested in them. You’ll pay top dollar. Once he confirms he can give them to you, we’ll move in. Got it?” Mike explains to Armando before turning his attention to you. “And for you, just be silent, pretty, and say nothing, okay?”
“Won’t be hard for her.” Armando grumbles as he starts the car.
You roll your eyes, ignoring his comment. “You guys will tail us, right.”
Dorn nods. “You should be fine though, you’ve got Armando.”
Armando reeves the engine, slowly idling off and away from your friends. And for some reason, when you whip off, you can’t help but wonder if he was right. This was a suicide mission, just not for him.
Fuck.
###
The drive is silent and smooth. You really could see why Mike insisted on such expensive cars, they rode well.
Your heel-clad feet tap against the bottom of the car, humming a tune in your head, making you realize just how much this ride needed some music.
Slowly, you turn to face Armando. His eyes are focused on the long road ahead, his jaw is clenched and he doesn’t seems to be paying you the slightest bit of attention.
As smooth as you can be you carefully lift your hand up and turn on the radio. Soon enough Ariana Grandes, The Boy is Mine, blasts from the radio.
You squeal and find a small groove with your fingers against your purse, humming the lyrics and bopping your head to the beat. The song is just reaching its second run through the chorus when the radio goes dead.
You turn, seeing Armando’s hand leaking from the controls. Annoyed, you give him a look before turning the radio back on, louder this time.
Armando’s jaw clenches tighter, like he might actually collapse through it with his bite force. He slams the radio off…again.
This time you don’t bite your tongue.
“Would you stop doing that!” You shout.
“No.”
“Why not? I was listening to that.”
“I don’t care. I need to focus.” Armando grumbles.
“Focus on what?”
“I don’t know, Princesa, making sure we both come out of this alive, because I damn sure can’t count on you to do that.”
His words bite, but if he wants to play a snake you have venom for him. “Why don’t you like me, huh? What have I ever done to you?” You hide.
Armando stays silent, his knuckles whitening as his grip strengthens on the steering wheel.
You snap at him. “I’m not talking to myself, Armando. Why do you hate me, huh?!”
“Cállte!” He shouts
You don't know much Spanish, but you’ve heard him say it enough to know it’s time to walk away from the conversation.
So you do, resting your head against the window seal, counting the number of streetlights you see flash and shimmer as you zoom by.
When you were younger your mother couldn’t afford fancy candles so she used a flashlight instead. You imagine the streetlights as just that, wishing that one day you’d know what you did to anger Armando so much.
Not soon enough, the car comes to a halt. The only sounds filling the cabin are those of Armando undoing his seatbelt.
Annoyed, you don’t even look at him as he speaks. All he’s done is tear you down in the past few hours, you’re done giving him the energy you need to conserve.
“When we go inside, don’t say a word. I don’t care how many questions he throws your way, you don’t say shit. Am I clear?”
Slowly, you turn towards him. Your mouth is scrunched and your eyes filled with no sympathy for the devil in front of you.
“Crystal.” You whisper, venom leaking off your tongue as you speak.
Armando’s chest rises and falls as he takes in your anger. He squeezes Mikes keys between his hands, and you you really do your best to ignore the heat that unfurls inside of you when he bites his plump lip between his teeth and runs a hand over his dark, full beard.
You adjust in your seat, because despite his constant cold front, It looks as if he has something to say. You wait in contemplating silence, the only sounds in the cabin being your breathing and Armando’s hesitant taps on the keys.
Part of you just wants to go in a get this over with and never speak to him again, but another part is desperate for him to say something meaningful to you. Something like the things you say to him before a mission.
“Don’t die.”
“Come back in one piece.”
“Be careful.”
“We should all have pizza when you come back.”
You knew how scary things could get on missions and you just wanted your team to know you were there, to take away even a slither of the darkness clouding them in that moment. And for your first time, you thought Armando might do the same—say something meaningful—but he doesn’t.
In a flash he’s out of the car, handing the keys over to valet, threatening them about what will happen if any scratches and dents are found.
You take in a deep breath and look down at the camera, disguised as a gold necklace resting above the cut of your breast.
“You guys getting all this?” You whisper, stepping out of the car.
“Do you mean Moxy, or your fight with Hotmando?” Dorn says over the earpiece.
You come to a halt. “Shit, I’m sorry guys. I’ll keep it professional, okay. From here on out, I won’t let him get to me…that’s not what’s important.”
“Good, get in and come back to us. I need my girl and our wine down Sundays.” Kelly says.
You smile, making your way over to wear Armando stands at the mouth of the nightclub, hoping he heard your words.
The sour look on his face as you walk through the door he holds open for you—sure to flip my hair as you do, giving him a nice taste of your leave in conditioner—tells you he certainly did, and perhaps he didn’t like what you had to say, but nonetheless…
He wont bother you anymore. Not tonight, at least.
Inside Moxy tore hit with a wave of a scent that nearly makes you gag—weed, sweat, and criminal activity. The club its self is large in scale, high ceilings with rope dancers stringing off the tops and flashing red and blue lights melting to make a purple haze over the club. Smoke and bubble guns are in constant effect and you’re pretty sure you can feel the bass of Wiz Khalifa’s Black and Yellow in your thoracic cavity.
From what you can see there are three floors, the first and second appear to be where the actual clubbing takes place. You watch the sweaty bodies corralled into dance floors, babbling nonsense either too drunk or too high for their own good.
But above, on the third, it is caged in and covered by glass. Yellow lights, different from the multi-colored ones below, remain at a halt and big , burly men with guns at their hips wander the halls. No doubt looking to take out any threat that comes for their boss—Ramos Malik.
“The glass. It’s bullet proof.” Armando says, eyeing the scene above, just as you do.
You would praise him for the impressive catch. But you’re Jenna now, and Jenna doesn’t speak.
“Any sign of Malik?” Mike asks.
“Not yet,’ Armando places a hand on the small of your back, making you flinch. “But we’re about to find out.”
Never moving his hands from your waist, Armando guides the two of you through the sweaty pillage of bodies and towards the elevators.
The ride up is quick, quiet. That’s not shocking. But what is shocking, as soon as the elevator comes to a screeching halt, Armando grabs your hand in his, completely engulfing your own with his size.
The burning sensation wraps up your wrist and shoots straight to your cheeks where you flush.
“What are you doing?” You gasps, trying to pull away. You did not sign up for this kind of role play.
Armando turns to look at you. “If you’re my girlfriend, we’ve got to play the part. Other than that you just look like someone who I brought out on a hit with me.” He squeezes your hand.
You suck in a deep breath at the motion, looking away.
“What’s wrong, princesa? This too much for you?” For a second, you thought he meant the fact that he was holding your hand, and in that case he wouldn’t be wrong, but soon enough the doors open and you shortly realize what he means.
The two burly men from early, dapper in black and white suits, wait outside the elevator, fingers in the triggers of their guns.
“Aretas.’ They nod, tuning your attention to you. “Whose this?”
“My girl, Jenna.” Armando says, gruffly.
One of the men nods, motioning you forward. You swallow, backing up a bit, hesitant on what to do.
Armando nudges you forward. “Esta bien bebe.”
You nod and walk towards them. They grab you up, calloused hands running up and down your body, and your pretty sure they linger to long on your untouchables on purpose.
Sweat begins to pile in your hands as a thought burst into your mind. What would happen if they found the knife Kelly gave you? She’d shoved it in a pretty good spot, but still, these guys were being thorough…and not in a good way.
You make eye contact with Armando as one of the guards continues to fill you up with what feels like excessive force.
In a blur, Armando pushes off the wall with his foot, slapping a hand on the guards shoulder.
“She’s clear, eh?”
The guard nods.
Armando grips his collar and pulls him in close. “The why the fuck are you still touching her, hm?”
The guard swallows, fear evident in his eyes.
“Just covering the bases, that’s all, sir.” He whimpers.
“Cover the bases again like that with my girl, and I’ll cut your fucking hand off and feed it to your other fat fuck of a friend.” Armando notions to the guard behind.
The guard nods and swallows, caressing his hand.
“The boss is this way,” he guides us with a motion.
Armando grips your hand once more, leading your down the long hallway.
“You okay?” He asks, holding his gaze forward.
You look up at him, even in heels he still manages to be taller than you. “Don’t pretend to care.” You scoff.
That makes him halt, conjoined with him you have no choice but to face each other. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, yet no words come out.
You roll your eyes, looking past his shoulders. Inside the bright room, you can see a shadow of Ramos. “Let’s just get this over with.” You say.
Armando’s gaze lingers on your longer than you’d like, giving you the shivers despite the fire leaking off him.
Soon enough, he pushes open the door and you follow behind him.
The room is small, club girls linger around either serving drinks or being felt up on. Ramos’s men, stand at each corner of the room searching for the next threat to their boss. Luckily they haven’t figured it is you yet.
“Armando Aretas,” Ramos claps his hands, jumping off of the white couch he’s sat on.
He stalks over, cigar between his lips, and you take him in. He is nowhere near as stalky as Armando, and his curly blonde hair is put up into a bun, exposing the undercut beneath. You can’t catch the colors of his eyes because they are covered by dark, Fendi shades.
His business definitely makes money, and lots of it. His three piece black and burgundy suit screams it all.
“To what do I owe such great pleasures?” He bows, lifting your hand up and placing a kiss on the back. “That goes for you too, sugar.”
Armando squeezes your hand a bit tighter at the pet name. You want to bite back and tell him to go easy, but you’re on stage now, and for your own safety and his, it’s best if you don’t break the act.
“I’m in the business of buying something from you. Streets are hot down in Mexico right now, and I need to establish some new territories…with a little force.” Armando says smoothly, sometimes you forget he was a hardened criminal not too long ago.
Ramos clicks his tongue between his teeth. “Ah. Come sit.” He motions you two over to one of his coaches.
“Good job. Keep em’ talking.” Mike says over the coms.
Armando takes a seat across from Ramos and you do the same.
A chuckle leaves Ramos’s lips. “I don’t think your pet likes you very much,” he motions to the space between you two.
Armando smacks his lips. “Nonsense. Ven aquí, bebé.”
You swallow and scoot towards him. When you’re close enough, in one swift moment, Armando’s slips you in his lap, running a rough hand up and down the exposed parts of your thigh, sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your body.
What the hell was happening.
Ramos chuckles, pouring himself and Armando a drink. He pushes it across the glass table, just out of reach.
Armando gives your ass a light slap, you turn and flare your nose, giving him your best “don't push it,” it glare.
He ignores it.
“Tráeme eso, mamá.” He says, motioning towards the glass.
You pick up the tumbler, suddenly realizing what he’s playing at. Ramos is watching because he isn't convinced. So you suck up your pride and do some convincing.
You grip Armando by his chin, rubbing the pad of your thumb in circles over his gruff beard before putting the glass against his lips, assisting him as he drinks.
Never once do his eyes leave you as he swallows the amber liquid, and the shivers that were once in your spine travel lower, much lower. You have to blink away the awful, dirty thoughts of you being in place of the glass out of your mind as you swipe away the spillage off his beard and plump, pink lips.
When you turn, Ramos’ shoulders drop and his smile is so wide it’s nearly reckless.
“So you’re in the business of buying my most popular product from me?”
“That’s right.” Armando says, a hand still caressing you slow and smooth.
“I am curious, though,’ Ramos takes a swig of his drink. “How did you hear about it?”
Armando shifts, the movement forcing you closer to his center. Your eyes go wide as saucers, your new position doing nothing for the growing pain massing within your heat.
“I’m an Aretas. Nothing in the streets goes past my ears…nothing.” Armando's confidence radiates off of him.
“Very well,” Ramos chuckles. “Let’s establish two parameters of this deal, then. One, you pay me before I give you any product. Two, you get caught with my product, you don’t tell a soul who you the fuck got it from. Sounds good?” He smiles.
Armando nods. “Just one thing,’ his hands enclose over your hips, sliding you off to the side, as he leans forward. “How do you make them? The bullets.”
Ramos frowns. “Why? You trying to steal my swag or something, Aretas?”
Armando chuckles. “Nah, just curious.”
“Feed his ego, he’s going to talk.” Kelly says.
“I mean, they're sharp, large, fast, quiet. It’s impressive. I just want to know how you do it before I invest any of my money into it.” Armando leans back, arms spread in a wide arch on the back of the couch.
“In our world now, with a little money, the right connections, and a fuck ton of fortitude, anything you can think of is a possibility.’ Ramos says, lighting another cigar. “It’s rare and hard to get everything right. But if you really want to know how I do it,’ he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper.
Armando does the same, you make the conscious effort not to. Instead you play with your necklace, making sure the camera catches his face and his face only when he confesses.
“It’s a three—,”
A sudden buzz swallows the conversation whole, swirling it down the dirty sink it had come up from. The buzz echoes once more before you realize where it comes from…your purse
Fuck.
Ramos straightens, likes a dog on guard, eyeing you fiercely. Your chest rises and falls with a weight heavier than gravity as your ringtone continues to blare out for everyone to hear.
Ramos licks his lips, like he’s hungry for what comes next. “Well don’t be shy, Ms. Jenna, answer the phone.”
You swallow and tuck a curl behind your ear. “I don’t think that’s appropriate right now. Let’s just finish up the deal—“
In a blur of fury, Ramos stands brandishing a gun, pointing it right at your chest.
“Make you perra answer the fucking phone, or I put holes in you both.”
“Answer the phone,” Mike calls to you. “Do what he asks.”
Armando gives you a cautious look as you slip your phone out of your purse. Your fingers are shaking, so answering takes a few tries but when you finally do get it, you see that it’s your sister calling.
“Make sure it’s on speaker too.” Ramos demands, clocking his gun.
You inhale deeply, press the speaker button, then answer, “Hey, sister, this isn’t really a good time.”
“Hey, I know you’re probably working late and all, but this is kind of important. My routers are not really working and I have a date with that guy, David, I told you about and I really need my tv to work.” She explains.
You bite your lip and lick the sweat that forms around them. “Have you tried turning your tv on and off again? You know I’m not really a whiz at that tech stuff.”
A pause, then your sister erupts in laughter. “Girl, are you high?’ She laughs. “You’ve been messing with wires and the internet since we were kids. That’s the whole reason twelve wanted you anyways”
Your hear sinks the moment she says those words, you hang up because the last thing you want is for your sister to hear you die.
“Well fuck me, Jenna, I’ll be damned.” Ramos growls, pushing his gun into your skull.
You pierce your eyes shut, brace for the burning impact of the bullet and pray for a quick death.
But it never happens, instead in a swift motion Armando pushes you off to the side causing you to collapse onto the ground. He makes a quick sweep of his leg, sending Ramos crashing onto his ass and the bullet that was meant for you soaring up and hitting the rafters, lodging into some wood.
Your breath is heavy as you watch all out war unfold before you. Armando takes on five men at once. The first man takes two tumblers over the head and one shard of glass to the neck, scarlett liquid oozing from the wound before he drops like dead weight beside you.
You let out a scream, backing away from the scene that moves like a riptide before you.
“Get out of there, now!” Kelly screams in your ear.
“I—I can’t just leave him!” You shout back.
“You have no training! We’re coming in, go, now!” Mike yells.
You gather yourself, undoing your heels, still watching Armando skillfully take out guys and keep clear of the gunshots that ring in the tiny room. You watch as he dropkicks one man, then shoots him in the face before stalking over to another man, dishing out a few punches, before finally gutting him with a knife.
He’s still on the move when you finally slip out of your heels. More of Ramos’s men are filing in and the fight expands,moving from the small room you were just in into the hallway where any innocent person could be hurt.
Unlike most times you weren’t in your gilded chair. You were in the field and you would help as many people as you could. So, you don’t think, you let the adrenaline cloud you as you bound down the hallway in hopes to get back downstairs and direct clubbers from the chaos.
Setting the golden elevator in your sites, you push faster. People below were already screaming, running wild. Who knows what could happen? How many people could be trampled and hurt. This only fuels you, quickening your stride. You nearly make it but a gunshot slows you, and the body of a bleeding girl drops before you, putting you into a full halt.
“Oh my god,” your voice is breathy and shaky.
“Why are you still in there!” Dorns’ voice becomes a far void as you rip at the bottom of your dress and use the fabric to compress her wound.
Two gunshots to the chests. The girl, who can’t be any older than yourself, gurgles blood which sprays onto her porcelain skin and leaks into her brown hair, sticking strands to the marble floor.
The girl coughs, sending blood splattering onto the side of your face, and claws at your arms, streaks of crimson standing out against your brown skin.
She murmurs, but it’s hard to hear.
You press deeper into her wounds. “Shh, it’ll be alright,’ You tell her “guys, I need a medic on the third floor when you get here. She’s…she’s in really bad shape.” You whimper.
The girl whines again, her eyes open and closing in two second intervals.
she raises her arm pointing a shaking finger in the direction behind you.
You wipe your eyes, blood no doubt trailing on your face now.
“What?” You croak. “What is it?” You turn around and see Ramos Malik limping over to you, a large knife in his hand.
You stand, putting distance between him, yourself and the girl.
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?’ An injured Ramos says, limping toward you with his knife pointed. “Trying to get me caught up in some trap, but you weren’t even smart enough to shut off your phone!” He screams, lunging at you with the knife.
You tumble backwards, your back and head hitting the marble floor with the weight of you both. You cry out as pain sears through you, especially your hand.
It takes you a moment of readjusting to the bright lights and sounds to realize why. You caught the fucking knife in your hand.
You scream, as Ramos pulls it from your palm in a slice. Your hand open and bleeding, you cry out and roll away from another vicious attack by Ramos.
He growls and lunges at you again, grabbing a tuft full of your curls. You beat at his legs with your good hand, squirming in his grip. He pulls at your hair, making you scream, lowering his knife to your neck, pressing inward.
You let out an animalistic scream, pressing your thumb into the oozing wound on his leg. He screeches, falling to his knees.
Wasting no time, you crawl away.
You think you’ve gotten far enough.
You rise up on your knees and push the elevator button, but the cold hand on your ankle snatches you back.
You claw at the marble floors, leaving a trail of blood, as Ramos drags you like a rag doll. He stops, flipping you over and planting his weight on top of you.
You flail, kicking the ground and scratching at his face, desperate for him to let go. But he doesn’t. Instead, he cages you with his legs and wraps both hands around your neck, applying so much pressure that your vision blurs.
Under his grip, your breaths become distant and faint. Your muscles relax, and your eyes bulge. Turning your head to the side, you can barely make out the flashing blue and red lights from outside.
The team is here. But you're not sure they'll find you in time because Ramos is relentless, and the air in your lungs is vanishing. Your skull feels like it’s being crushed, the pressure intense.
You feel yourself slipping away, losing focus on your surroundings. Ramos moves your head to face him, and he’s a mass of incoherent clouds above you, the only clear thing are his dark, empty eyes.
“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die,” he growls, spit slipping from his mouth. “I hope Aretas finds you like—”
Ramos drops, and oxygen rushes back into your lungs like a clap of thunder.
You shudder on the ground, scraping at your neck and slapping your chest.
Warm hands engulf your cheeks, and it takes a minute for the blur to leave your vision. When it does, you see Armando before you, a smoking gun at his side.
“¿Estás bien, mamá?”
His voice barely registers before oxygen slips from your lungs again, and you slump over, hitting the ground.
Armando scoops you up, and even though it should be a relief, you can’t help but be saddened by the way your team jumps over the girl you couldn’t save.
Darkness swallows you whole as your team swarms you and Armando.
###
“The stitches will dissolve on their own in time as your wound heals itself.’ Kelly says, tightening the last of the bandages on the hand Ramos had sliced.
“Thanks, Kelly.’ You smiled softly, rubbing at the soreness that still lingered all over your body, especially your neck.
Ramos and his men had been arrested, not on the charges the team had planned, but still, getting him locked away for attempted murder of a police officer and soliciting drugs would have to be good enough for now.
Kelly rubs your shoulders, a soft sigh leaving her lips. “I’m really sorry this happened to you,’ she says, eyeing your injuries, the bandages on your knees and hands, the purple-ish bruise on your neck, and the small scratches and scrapes all over your body. You definitely weren’t as hot as you were that night.
“It’s okay.” You smile. “I’m still here, so.” You shrug.
“You were brave that night, saving that girl. We’re all so proud of you.” Kelly says.
You shake your head. “But I didn't save her, Kels. She died. Right there, she bled out.’ Tears start to rim your eyes as the memories of the girl and her blood in your hands flare in your mind. “Fuck,” you cover your eyes with your palms. “I could hardly save myself that night…if it wasn’t for Armando, I’d be dead.”
You sniffle, taking a seat on a nearby stool. “I’m not cut of for the field, and I don’t think I should ever do it again.”
Kelly swarms you. “No. Don’t say that.’ She shakes her head. “We’ve all been there, helpless, but that’s why we’re a team. We cover each other's six when shit gets rough. So don’t feel bad, we won’t let you.”
You nod slowly, trying to let her words penetrate your soul so that you could really believe them. But right now, you couldn’t. You put everyone at risk because you made a rookie mistake by leaving your phone on.
You were to blame for all the carnage, all the bloodshed and chaos.
Armando was right, it was a suicide mission. And it was all your fault.
Kelly’s phone ringing thrusts you out of your thoughts.
She reads the screen number and looks at you. 'I got to go,’ she motions. “But if you need me, call me, seriously.”
You nod and wave her goodbye. You turn and fully expect to hear the compound's heavy, steel doors slam shut and lock, but they never do.
On high alert you turn and meet eyes with Armando. He’s in his typical black on black, head to toe. The only thing different about him is the white bandage covering the bulge of his arm.
You try not to stare too hard at the way his black shirt clings to his body, flexing every taunt muscle as he strides down the steps and towards you with a force.
Refocusing, you work on the project at hand—Dorns broken drone. You mesh wires together and a spark comes alive, something like the sparks you feel when Armando takes a seat next to you, leaving up against the steel work table.
“So that’s it, eh?” He says, staring at you. “Gonna ignore me.”
You keep fussing with your wires. “Not sure there is much to say.”
Armando chuckles bitterly. “I’m sure I could find some words. How about we start with, lo siento or soy un maldito idiota.”
You slam down your tools and turn to face him, fire blazing in your eyes. “I don’t even know what the fuck you just said.” You growl.
Armando stands, towering over you. “I’d be happy to translate for you, princesa. It means you fucked up and cost alot of people their lives.”
You flinch at his words, more reality of your mistake clouding over you. “You don’t think I know that? I’ve regretted my mistake every night when I cry myself to sleep because all I can see is that girl's face.
Your voice wavers. “Her blood.”
“If you feel like that then you should have listened to me when I told you that mission was suicide.” He growls.
“Fuck you.” You spat, walking away.
Armando catches your forearm, pulling you back towards him. “I’m not done, so don’t walk away from me.”
“Let me the hell go!” You try jerking from his grip but it’s no use, you’re stuck, stuck taking his abuse.
“No, you need to know that it was your fault out there. That your place is in the chair,’ he motions to your desk behind you. “You can’t handle the field, you’re not built for it.”
The need to prove him wrong boils in your gut causing you to lift your hand and swing it out towards Armando’s face.
Bad idea.
He catches your arm with ease and now both your limbs are in his hands. You try to snatch away, but Armando keeps you steady, pulling you closer until the two of you are breaths away from each other.
The heat in your chest spreads like wildfire as you watch Armando’s eyes linger on your bruised lips, then trailing down slowly to your hands and legs, accessing all your injuries as if they matter to him.
“Besides,’ he trails on, his index finger glazing cautiously over the ring bruise on your neck. “If it wasn’t more me out there, princesa, you’d be dead.”
“I didn’t think…”
“That’s the point,’ Armando holds you steady. “You didn’t think, and you not using your head almost got you killed. And if you would have died I—.”
There's a quivering pause in Armando’s voice, his eyes slam shut tight. You don’t know what to make of this, one second he hates you and the next he cares if you’re dead or not. Armando is a mystery you’re too tired to decode.
You jerk from his grasps once more and this shocks his eyes back open.
“Are you done?” You manage to say.
Armando licks his lips, slowly releasing you from his grasp.
“I’m done,’ he says, backing away from you.
You hold onto the steel table for support, the scorch of his touch slowly fleeting.
You hear the steel door crack open and turn to watch him leave, but he’s halted at the precipice, “One last thing, stay in the chair next time. It’s where you belong.”
With that he leaves, the steel door slamming shut and your confidence crumbling down.
You tried your hardest to not let Armando affect you, but he does. His words cut you deeper than Ramos’s knife. Maybe he was right, maybe you should just stay in the chair. But what if there was another time they needed you in the field? Could you just say no without feeling immense guilt? Probably not.
So when you write your resignation and leave it on your desk and walk away from the compound, you do it because you can’t stand to see the people you care about get hurt, all because you’re not a good enough cop.
###
“Okay, seriously! Are you really going to be that stupid and go back into the house where you know the killer is! Come on Noah!” You shout at your television screen.
It’s been a week since you put in your resignation and the amount of discourse behind it has resulted in you shutting off your phone and locking yourself inside, watching shitty horror movies to pass the time.
Because if you step foot outside, you’ll be mobbed by friends from the department and your friends from AMMO who, to say the least, weren’t happy about your resignation.
All but one.
Not that he mattered anyway.
They all hated that you quit, saying you needed to come back immediately and talk this out. But you couldn’t.
How could you face them when you were such a coward and created all that chaos? They worked so hard to save lives and keep order and you did nothing but fuck shit up.
It was time to jump ship before someone else got hurt in the crossfires of your neglect.
The thought pushes you deeper into your plush green couch that sits far back into your home, well renovated garage. But hey, Miami is expensive, and this place was renting out, so you just renovated it. A little love all around and it became an actual home.
You let loose a small smile looking around, the walls, once bare and industrial, now are splattered with a lively palette of bright yellows, deep blues, and playful greens. They are decorated with framed posters of all the things you love: vintage video games, classic sci-fi movies, and beloved comic book covers, each one a nod to your past. Strings of fairy lights crisscross the ceiling, casting a soft, whimsical glow that contrasts beautifully with your high-gear equipment scattered throughout.
Your floor is a patchwork of colorful rugs, each with its own story. Some are intricately patterned, those are the ones your parents gifted you, while others are simple yet bold, adding a splash of color to the room. Together, they might be your favorite part of the whole place, just because they keep your bare feet warm on lazy nights like these.
In one corner, a plush, oversized bean bag chair sits next to a low coffee table cluttered with all your retro memorabilia – old gaming cartridges, Rubik's cubes, and a couple of well-worn graphic novels.
The heart of your home garage is the tech haven. Your large, custom-built desk stretches along one wall, supporting your impressive army of monitors in various sizes. High-end computers hum quietly, their cases glowing with neon lights. Cables and wires, though numerous, are neatly organized, snaking their way through the room in an orderly fashion.
Shelves above and around the desk hold a treasure trove of tech gadgets and components – everything from VR headsets and drones to soldering kits and spare parts. A 3D printer sits in a place of honor, its latest creation still cooling on the print bed.
Your home made you feel complete, but still after you quit you do feel a little empty. You miss the small talks at work, the laughter, the bickering, the teasing. It just wasn’t the same alone. But again, it was for the best, because if there is one thing you know—keeping your family safe is the most important thing, above all.
And you’d hate to be their reckoning.
Flipping open your laptop you continue to scroll through your job search.
“What do you think, Chester?’ You say to your golden retriever. “Tech support job? Or maybe we go dark and get into hacking for higher companies.”
Chester whines, fidgeting in his spot next to you.
“You’re right, no going bad. Tech support it is.’ Chester rummages around a bit more before springing over your coach, darting towards the door. “Hey, I can work from home with this one!” You say.
Chester’s barks ring out, bouncing off the walls relentlessly.
You stand and make your way over to what’s got him so riled up. At the door, you bend down and pet him, still doing nothing to soothe his barks.
“Chessy, what’s wrong, huh?” You grab his collar, pulling him towards the door and opening it.
You stick both your heads out the door, turning them left and right, the only thing you see and hear is darkness and the bad storm slamming outside. You pull back inside and Chester sticks to you like glue. “See, nothing to worry about.’ You squat down to love on your dog, who's growling like crazy right now. “We aren’t like Noah, we don’t go into scary houses for fun. We’re safe here, Ramos is gone. ” You pat his head, but that only makes him bark more.
“Chester, enough already.” you stand, moving towards the kitchen and getting yourself a glass out of the cabinet, flicking on the sink, and filling it with water.
Your just about to take a sip when a loud crack of lighting explodes, illuminating your dark house, revealing a cloaked figure behind you.
You scream and drop your cup, shards exploding on the ground around your feet. Chester is in a full on frenzy right now, and rightfully so. Could this be Ramos’s men, did he send them to finish you off?
“You’re one crazy bitch, you know that?”
“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die.”
You scrape at your neck, the tender bruise making you hiss as if the pressure of Ramos choking you has never left.
The figure steps forward and you screech, ripping a butcher knife from your kitchen sink, and pointing it at them.
“Back the fuck up!” You scream. “I’m a fucking cop!” You take wobbly steps back, watching Chester go up the figure and sniff them…then roll over?
Chester by no means is an aggressive dog, but he loves you, and if he sensed you were in danger he’d protect you with his life. So when he begins to receive pets from the intruder, you lower your knife.
“Kelly?” You say, she knows Chester, you’ve brought him to the compound many times before, but she’s the only one on your team who has a key to your place.
The figure doesn’t answer, they just move over to the corner of the kitchen, flipping on the light.
Your shoulders drop the moment you see his thick beard and warm-brown skin peeking from underneath his black hoodie.
Armando.
“How the fuck did you get in?” You cross your arms over your chest.
Armando shrugs off his jacket, tossing it onto your kitchen stools. “It’s not exactly a place with state of the art security.”
“I could have killed you, Chester too.”
Armando snickers. “You and your pooch wouldn’t have done a thing.”
You grumble, crossing the kitchen landscape and moving towards the coaches. “What do you want, you're interrupting my movie night.”
Armando follows, hot on your trail. “I can see that. By the way, is that hello kitty on your pajamas?”
You look down and groan. Of course you’d be wearing something totally embarrassing when your least favorite ex-coworker breaks into your house.
“Stop switching the subject. Why are you here?”
Armando rustles in his pocket before pulling out a paper and shoving it into your hands.
You’re careful to unfold it because there is rain damage from the storm, but when you get it open, despite the smooshed ink on the page, you see it’s your resignation letter.
“Okay, and?” You shrug.
“Okay, and, take it back.” He says.
You chuckle. “You’re joking, right. Like you have to be joking.”
Armando’s face is straight. “I’m not.”
You plop down on your couch. “I’m not taking it back, I'm already looking at different jobs.”
A scoff leaves his lips. “So that’s it, eh? You’re just going to run away.”
You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Weren't you the one who told me I should quit?”
“I never said that. I said you needed to stay in the chair, and still, you did the opposite of that.” He says.
You stand. “What’s the point of saying I’m a cop, if I don’t actually save people. You said that entire night was on me, so I backed away from the situation and now you’re mad?”
Armando sits quietly for a moment, tapping his leg against the ground. “I never said quit.”
“It doesn’t matter what you said. I did what I felt I needed to do.”
Armando scoffs, turning in his seat. “Yeah I can see that, real egoísta if you ask me.”
You stand, marching over towards the kitchen. “You know I have no clue what you’re saying.”
Armando turns, follows you, taking a seat at the bar. And before you know it, just like that compound before, you're caged between his legs.
“I called you selfish.”
You let out a gasp. “How the hell am I selfish?”
“Because you left the team!”
“I left the team to keep everyone safe! Not because I’m selfish!”
“We're safe! And we’ll be safer knowing that you’re safe, too, especially with some of Ramos’s associates still out there! I—we need to keep tabs on you.”
You stumble back. “What?’ You swallow. “Are you telling me my life is in danger? That Ramos will send people after me?”
“It’s a possibility we’re considering,’ Armando says, his eyes never leaving you as you sit across from him. “But if you come back to work we can keep you safe.”
“And what’s to say they won’t come for me any other time?” You croak. “Being in that compound doesn’t guarantee my safety.”
Armando rubs a slow hand over his face. “But I can.” He says, hardly above a whisper.
“You. Protect me?”
“Why is that so far-fetched?” He says.
“Armando, you hate me.”
“You keep putting words in my mouth, princesa, and I don’t like it.”
“I’m not putting words in your mouth. It’s just, actions speak louder.’ You shrug. “Ever since you got into AMMO, we’ve been the least close out of everybody. No matter how hard I tried, we just never connected. So yes, I’m sorry if I find you putting yourself on the line for me, unprovoked, a little hard to believe.”
Armando stands, his frame opposing against yours. He lifts his shirt and you hiss at what you see. Bandages, dried blood, and purple bruises litter his torso.
You look away but he catches your chin with his thumb, pulling your attention back to him.
“I wouldn’t put myself on the line for you,’ he said, pulling his shirt back down. “I already fucking did.”
“I never asked you too.” You mutter, looking away ashamed that you caused that.
“You didn’t have to.’ He sighs. “I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt.”
“What?” You turn, slow tears building, blurring your vision now.
“I didn’t want you to go out there because, as much as I try to hide it, I care about you.” Armando says, hot brown eyes melting into you.
You blink, stalling and stepping back. Armando…cares about you? Those two things shouldn’t even be in conjunction and your brain can’t process that they are.
The man in front of you has never been anything but harsh towards you, now he comes to your home in the middle of the night begging you to come back to work and confessing his feelings for you.
You truly must be dreaming…this can’t be real. Not that you’d be mad if it was. Despite all your bickering and misunderstandings, you still held a soft spot for Armando. You could see he was trying to be a better person, a more open person, regardless of his flaws.
And there were moments when he was kind to you, like opening doors for you, walking side by side with you to your car late at night, never forgetting to get your lunch along with the teams if you couldn’t make it. You knew he had a nice side to him and that’s why you showed him yours time and time again. Showed him it was okay to be vulnerable, but now he is, truly is, and you can’t even compute it.
“Why would you say something like that?” You swallow, something weird stirring inside of you, making you step closer towards him.
Armando does the same, closing the gap between you two. “Say what, princesa? The truth.”
You don’t mean to, but you whimper as the nickname leaves his lips. You look down, heat flushing in your cheeks. “Please don’t call me that.”
Armando scoops your chin with his index finger, your eyes latching and twinkling under the soft glow of your house's lights. “¿Por qué? no puedo manejarlo.”
“No.” You breath, studying every bridge and sharp angle of his face. This close, his beauty is unbelievable.
Armando’s thick, kept beard, is just as dark as his hair. His brown eyes are surrounded by a shade of full lashes, and his plump pink lips, glistening in the soft light. Armando Aretas was hard to resist and that’s why you feel yourself falling closer into him.
Like your mind is on autopilot, your hands fall to his chest, resting there and feeling every muscle he’s worked so hard for.
“I can see that.” Armando smirks. “I can also see that you care for me, too.”
“I—,”
“Want me to show you how I know?” He whispers, lips touching your ear and making you gasp.
You nod. There was no point in resisting him at that moment. Not that you wanted to either.
In one swift motion, Armando bends down and then you're airborne. His hands rest underneath your thighs as he carries you to your bedroom.
Walking over, your eyes never leave each other. You open your mouth to speak as a thought holds you captive.
“Is this why you said all those mean things? To discourage me because you didn’t want me to get hurt?” You ask, caressing his face in your hands.
Armando leans into the touch, nodding his head just as you two pass through the door of your bedroom.
He sets you down gently and you cling your arms around his neck.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” You ask.
Armando’s hands encircle your waist as he sighs. “I didn’t know how. I was just so angry that they’d even ask you to do something like that anyway.”
“And you were angry because you liked me?”
Armando nods.
“And when I was pretending to be Jenna…were you acting then, too?”
Armando chuckles, biting his lip, you look away to keep from melting. “You mean when I smacked your ass? I might have taken advantage of the situation then.”
You hit his chest and laugh. “I can’t believe you. That’s a violation!”
Armando leans in close. “I’d be happy to violate you some more, princesa.”
You chuckle lightly and wither out of his grip, taking a seat on the bed.
Armando frowns, sitting next to you. “What’s wrong? Was it something I sa—,”
“No. It’s fine. It’s just…I’ve never actually been with anyone before.”
Armando stills. “Oh. I was just joking with you,” he stands. “I can leave.”
Quickly, you grab his wrist, pulling him back. “No. I don’t want you to.’ You stand, taking his face in your hands and pulling him close. His lips are inches from yours and you can feel his nose brush against yours. “I want you to show me, just like you said.” You moan, placing your lips onto his.
Armando shutters, placing a hand on the nape of your neck. He opens his mouth, swiping his tongue over the bottom of your lips, asking for entry. You oblige and he slips inside, turning the kiss hot and fierce.
Armando swallows every moan you release, gripping your hips and pushing you back against the bed, his weight gently hovering on top of you.
He uses his legs, he spreads you open, you gasp at the motion allowing him access to your neck.
Like a man starving, Armando attacks your neck with hot-trailed kisses, lingering sucks and suckles, and licks that drive you wild, the heat between your legs pulsing now with desire.
“Fuck,’ you gasps and he palms over one of your breasts, sucking on the tender spot beneath your ear.
“Te gusta ese, bebe?” Armando whispers against your skin.
You shake your head “Yes.” You whimper.
Armando leans back, pulling at your top. “Let’s get this off of you, eh?”
You sit up just enough, allowing him access to pull the fabric off of you.
In a flash he peels your shirt off of you, leaving you bare in front of him.
Impulse has you covering yourself, but Armando reaches out, slowly moving your arms away from your chest.
“Don’t hide from me, mama.” He says, eyes darkening when he finally has a full view of your boobs.
“Mierda, you’re so beautiful baby.” He moans.
You shutter as he talks one breast in his hands, rubbing circles with it, while the other he latches his plump lips onto, sucking at your nipples.
The sensation causes your head to snap back and a deep, repressed moan to fly from your lips. Armando was doing the lords work with both his hand and tongue.
You squirm, squeezing your legs together and stimulating your spot, making your pants leak with want.
You had never had to opportunity to be with a man before, but in this moment you wanted nothing more than to fuck Armando.
“Fuck me,” you moan out. “Please.”
Armando chuckles, the sensation against your nipple makes you hiss. “Estás tan impaciente, princesa.’ He smacks your ass. “But eh, if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” He smirks, pushing you down against the bed.
He hovers on top, snatching his shirt off. All of his rippling muscles on display before you. You bite your lip at the site, hoping to see more and soon.
“If you want me to fuck you, will have to get rid of these, no?” He pulls at the strings of your pajama bottoms.
You nod, eager to have him inside of you.
In a blur, Armando pulls off your pants, tossing them to the side.
If you thought you saw darkness in his eyes when he saw your boobs, the look he has now is nothing in comparison. His eyes are nearly pitch black as he takes in what is soon to be his.
Armando spreads open your legs, hissing once he gets a glimpse at your glistening cunt.
You moan just at the thought of bearing it all in front of him.
“God, fuck.” He says, pulling down his pants and revealing a surprise of his own that makes you gasp.
Though covered in boxers, you can see just what he was working with. And to say the least, he was huge, and thick.
“Come here, baby.’ He moans, pulling you by your thighs to the edge of the bed. “Let me taste you.” He says.
You watch as Armando’s head lowers between your legs and the second his mouth touches your pussy, you fell back into the bed.
His mouth makes quick work of you, versing between sucking on your clit and licking your slit in a rhythm that builds a euphoria inside your gut.
The force of his tongue against your pussy and the pressure of his lips wrapped around your swollen clit has your back arching and screaming out.
Your toys had nothing on Armando.
“Please,” you whimper and try to squirm, but Armando holds you in place, slapping your ass twice as hard as a repercussion.
With each pass of his tongue, circling arcs on your pussy you can feel yourself climbing to the edge. Armando must feel it too because he puts the cherry on top when he sinks a thick finger inside of you.
“Oh my—ugh!”
You’re a whimpering, whining mess. The sheets beneath you turning a new shade of green as you soak them with your slick.
Armando adds another finger in for good measure only adding to the build up in your stomach. Each pump, suck, and lick causes a buckle to snap inside of you and a high only the man eating you out right now can give you is climbing.
You reach higher, and higher. Your orgasm just around the bend.
One last pump and suck, and you come undone, all over Armando’s face.
Armando comes back up from the floor, crawling over top of you. With the little moonlight that shines into your bedroom you can see yourself covering his beard, droplets of cum covering most of it.
“Taste yourself for me.” He growls, lowering his lips into yours.
You latch on and a sweet, yet neutral, flavor slips onto your lips as you and Armando kiss in a harmonious rhythm.
You never let go from his grasps as your hand travels down. You grab a hold of his massive, bulging cock.
Armando hisses and whimpers as you begins to stroke it with a various pressures: soft, hard, slow, the soft again. He shutters above you, his faces desperate and pleading.
“You’ll make me come like that.’ He breaths, gripping your hands. “I thought you were a virgin?”
“I am,’ you hiss, still squirming. “But I think it’s a bullshit construct. I’m still highly sexual,’ you say, pulling at his cock, bringing it forth. “And I want to be highly sexual with you.”
Armando bites his lips, pulling you into his lap. “Eres un problema, princesa.”
“I know,” you say, kissing him once more.
You rock back and forth, feeling his cock press against your needing pussy. The pressure making you both shake in anticipation.
Armando breaks the kiss. “Do you have a condom?”
You shake your head. “No, but I’m on birth control.”
He nods. “Good, you’re going to need it.”
He flips you over so that he is on top. Finally, he reaches down and slips out of his boxers, his cock, thick, long and full, springs to life and you can’t help but moan. Your pussy is aching with the need to be filled.
Armando spreads your legs open, angling the tip of his cock with your pussy’s pulsing entrance.
“Are you sure about this, baby?” He asks.
“I’m sure. Now fuck me, please.”
Armando obeys, slowly slipping his cock inside of you.
You hiss at the burning, stretching pain, digging your nails into his back as he pushes in, your pussy swallowing him inch by inch.
“Mm,” you croak.
Armando stops. “Are you okay?” He shakes
You grip at his ass, forcing him inside deeper, despite the burn you’re desperate to feel all of him. “Don’t stop.” You moan. “Please keep going.”
Armando pushes in further and deeper, tearing you open, until you’re fully stretched and he’s reached the depths of your ocean.
You two stay still for a moment, him allowing you time to adjust to the new stretching sensation and his size.
You lean up to kiss him. He deepens it, molding his mouth to yours, before slowly moving.
You moan, holding onto him as he picks up the pace, thrusting into you faster.
You can feel the pain melting into pleasure the more he pounds into you.
Harder and faster you begin to feel yourself loose control, your euphoria coming to hit its second peak.
“Fuck me, ugh! Please, Armando!” You shot, lifting your legs, granting him deeper access.
Armando grips the tiny mound between your hip and leg, using it as leverage to drive his thick cock deeper into your soaking wet pussy.
Animalistic groans leave his lips as he drives into you at an unholy pace. The sounds of skin slapping and drawn out, breathy moans fill the room, reaching a devilish peak when you scream out, coming and pulsing around his cock.
Armando follows you not shortly after, his dick pulsing and pumping his spillage into you.
He rolls off of you, taking you in his arms and placing a sweaty kiss on your forehead.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He murmurs on your forehead.
“Okay.” You smile, your legs sore and your middle aching.
Armando lifts you up bridal-style and carries you into the bathroom.
Soon you’re surrounded by steam and soap as you two bathe each other down.
Showered, you two snuggle in bed, a burning question still at the forefront of your mind.
“Armando?” You say.
“Hm,’ he is hardly awake at this point.
“When did you realize you cared about me?” You ask, angling your head to head to get a good look at him.
Armando chuckles, stroking your curls you have yet to put in a bonnet. “I think I always did. I was just scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“Maybe that you wouldn’t see me the way i see you.” He sighs. “I see only the good in you, and maybe that makes me a blind man, but I’m certain you’re a woman who can see through facades, and you wouldn’t see any goodness in me.”
You sit up. “That’s not true. Armando, of course you’ve done terrible things, but that’s not what I see when I look at you.”
Armando takes a hold of your bandaged hand, placing a small kiss on the palm. “So what do you see?”
“Now? I just see you, and all the tiny little good things that I love.”
A small smile graces Armando’s face before he leans in, kissing you softly. You sigh against his lips, not wanting this moment to end.
Though you two had some struggles, you wouldn’t have this pairing any other way.
You just wished you’d checked your blind spot early to see all the little signs you were missing.
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drabblesandsnippets · 13 days ago
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Safe
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female character (unnamed)
Background: TW: (Past) SA. During times when old traumatic memories start to pop up again (for whatever random reason/trigger), I find myself seeking out art that I can connect with to help me process things. Over the years, I’ve spent endless hours searching for stories/books where the main character is dealing with sexual trauma while also trying to have/maintain a healthy sex life - this is my attempt to write that type of story (without delving into the details of the trauma).
Summary: (4k) TW: (Past) SA. Bucky’s girlfriend craves intimacy while struggling with triggers and flashbacks.
Warnings: 18+ Only. TW: Mention of past SA/trauma (very vague), flashbacks (including during sex), anxiety. Established relationship. Bucky doesn’t always sleep with his prosthetic on (who else has this headcanon?). Fluff. Praise. Enthusiastic consent. Soft and sweet Bucky. Pet names (doll, sweetheart, baby). (Unprotected) PiV. Aftercare.
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Trauma has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. 
One minute, you’re laughing and dancing in the kitchen with your boyfriend, his hands around your waist while he sings a song from the 40’s, and the next thing you know, you’re leaning over the sink, your knees nearly giving out as you try to remember how to breathe. 
All it took was one fleeting press of Bucky against your back and you were suddenly transported to a different time, your mind taking you back to those moments when your life irrevocably changed.
Other times, it’s less conspicuous. 
You’re on the back of his motorcycle, enjoying a peaceful ride outside the city, taking the scenic route to enjoy a bit more time together, when you’re hit with a wave of anxiety. Something in your brain made a connection to the past, and the only signal you can give Bucky is a tighter hold around his torso.
There’s not much that fazes him, given his own history and lingering struggles, but it doesn’t always make it easier. You oscillate between wanting to talk it all out and just wanting to pretend you’re fine - Bucky doing his best to meet you wherever you’re at, trying to ease your burden as best he can.
When you’re really lucky, it’s a momentary thing, your mind allowing the memory to fade so you can focus on the present. When that happens, you get to go weeks, sometimes months, without it happening again.
Of course, you’re not always that lucky. There are times when it invades the rest of your day, seeping into moments it has no business being a part of. Trying to control parts of your life that you swore it’d never touch. 
And then, there are times like now, when it sticks around. When it feels like the smallest thing sets you off, brief flashes of things you’d rather not have to think about playing out behind your eyes. Your body constantly on edge, giving you no reprieve, even when the memories finally fade out.
You’re not sure how many days it’s been, or what the initial trigger even was, your mind too preoccupied with trying not to take a trip down memory lane. The only lifeline you can cling to is knowing you have a partner who supports you as much as you support him, especially during dark times, refusing to give up on each other.
As painful as it all can be, it’s a familiar pattern, one you know you’ll eventually break free of, no matter how turbulent it gets. Until then, you ride the wave, doing everything you can to stay afloat, to allow yourself to continue to live your life, seek out the things that bring you joy and pleasure.
Yesterday was filled with laughter and adventures, Bucky taking you to some of his favorite places, whisking you off to the next destination when your anxiety started to get the better of you. As if he’s made it his mission to help you find your footing again.
Bucky’s love and patience is more than you could have ever hoped for, and as you wake up with him snuggled against your back, in the bed you’ve shared for years, the remnants of your dream trying to take hold, his name spills out of you, filling the dark silence.
In an instant, he’s awake enough to breathe your name in return, his voice husky with sleep as he asks, “You okay? S’wrong, doll?” Bucky’s aware it was probably another nightmare, or maybe a flashback, but he’s learned not to assume anything, giving you the space to decide if and how you want to be heard.
It’s not always that simple. Sometimes your voice can fail you, words getting trapped in your throat as you struggle to focus on the moment. You’re not even sure how to describe what’s happening, other than to admit that you feel on edge, like your skin is crawling, your body growing restless.
Bucky doesn’t need more explanation, his hand leaving its normal resting place on your thigh to slide along your back, his intention clear. His familiar touch draws the expected reaction out of you, a soft sigh of relief as a bit of tension leaves your body, his fingertips dancing across your shoulder blade.
Almost immediately you’re curling up, inviting him to keep going, his reverent touch spreading tingles across your skin. As intimate as it is, there’s nothing inherently sexual about it, Bucky wanting nothing more than to help you relax, to lull you back into a peaceful slumber.
Yet, your body seems to have other ideas, each tender caress of your back sending sparks of arousal to your core. It’s far from the first time, even over the past several days, but it’s yet another aspect of your relationship that gets thrown off balance during times like this.
Any other time, Bucky would read your subtle cues, happily accepting the silent invitation to touch more of you, to bring you unspeakable pleasure. Until you’re back on solid ground though, it’s not an option for him. He can’t risk pressuring you, the thought of adding more stress on top of everything you’re already struggling with too unbearable to him. 
You can’t exactly blame him. When the roles are reversed - when Bucky is dealing with his own trauma, ghosts of his past invading his mind - you follow his lead, offering him nothing more than a place to rest. A safe space, where he’s completely in control.
That’s what he’s been offering you since your brain decided to spend so much time in the past. Intimacy, in whatever form it takes, is on your terms, things never progressing unless you’re vocalizing your desires. 
Bucky’s patience is unyielding. No matter how much your soft, breathy noises of appreciation stir up his need for you, the path of his hand doesn’t alter. His fingertips continue to draw circles across your skin, exploring the contours of your back, as if he hasn’t already mapped every single inch of you. 
One of his favorite things is to touch you. To bring you comfort, to provide safety, and yes, when you allow him, to bring you pleasure. And right now, despite - or maybe because of - the turmoil broiling beneath the service, it’s what you need.
There’s a risk that things might overwhelm you. That you won’t be able to lose yourself in the moment. You try not to think about that, telling yourself that you at least deserve to try, knowing Bucky will help you through it, wherever it leads.
Your request for more remains subtle, a slight shift of your hips, pressing back into him, the evidence of his own arousal growing against your ass. Nothing changes for Bucky, his gentle touch following a trail up along your spine to the back of your neck, his thumb stroking a particular tense spot, refusing to take advantage of your trust in him.
There’s a part of you that wonders if you should just allow yourself to succumb to the sleep that’s threatening to overtake you again, but you miss him. And, as he drags the back of his fingers down to the dip of your waist, you moan softly, your thighs tensing with need, seeking out friction.
Bucky knows exactly what he’s doing to you, each pass of his hand along sensitive flesh making you tremble, goosebumps spreading across your skin. It’s not long before he’s able to smell you, the knowledge that his touch turns you on so much nearly enough to make him lose his resolve.
Somehow he remains steadfast, even as you shift again, arching your back and angling your hips to find more pressure, his erection trapped against the curve of your ass. There’s an ache building inside of him to grind against you, to give you what your body is so obviously asking for, your shuddering sighs encouraging him to keep touching you, waiting for permission that he knows might not come.
It’s more than okay if it doesn’t, Bucky content with easing your burdens in whatever way you’ll allow him. It’s a privilege he’ll never take for granted. 
As is the privilege of getting to bring you more pleasure. And the moment you whisper his name, followed by a barely audible utterance of “please,” he’s asking you what you need. Desperate to give you everything you desire.
It provides the catalyst to empower you to ask for more, telling him how good he feels as you shamelessly rub against him, Bucky’s own heavy breaths and words of love spurring you on. The gentle caress of his fingers never cease, tentatively dipping lower to tease along your hip, and you leave no room for doubt, quickly letting out a needy moan of “yes.”
His reaction comes as no surprise, your consent making him groan, his hard cock throbbing against you. You’re about to reach back, wanting to feel more of him, when you’re triggered without warning, your breath catching and your back stiffening, unwanted images flashing in your head. 
“Are you okay?”
The concern in his voice keeps you in place, choosing to ignore your body’s instinct to pull away, forcing yourself to breathe through it. As the silence tries to consume you, threatening to derail everything, Bucky’s hand on your hip helps you get the words out, the soft clearing of your throat letting him know a response is forthcoming.
“Yeah,” you finally whisper into the dark, grateful when he doesn’t move, his thighs flush against yours. “I don’t- I’m okay, I don’t wanna stop.” Before he can ask if you’re sure, your hand comes into contact with his arm, your fingers sliding down to gently take hold of his wrist, refusing to second guess yourself as you guide his hand higher up your body, showing him exactly what you want.
The heat of his hand cupping your breast brings you fully back into the present with him, ripping a strangled moan out of you, your back arching to grind harder against him.
“Fuck,” he exhales heavily, Bucky wasting no time in following your lead, your erect nipple pinched between his long fingers, his palm squeezing your tit as he murmurs soft words of praise. His ears are trained on you, listening for every noise he elicits, from the loud moans to the barely audible gasps, ensuring his touch remains welcome.
It’s everything you could possibly want, his leg soon finding its way between yours, Bucky barely getting a chance to ask you if it’s okay before you’re begging him to keep going. Your whine of pleasure drowns out his own noises of appreciation, his thigh pressed to your slick heat, his rock hard cock starting to leak pre-cum.
“You feel so good,” you whisper, one hand gripping the edge of the bed, giving you leverage to grind on his thigh, the fingers of your other hand still gripping his wrist, keeping him pinned to you.
“So do you, baby,” he moans in your ear, nudging his leg higher to find a steady rhythm against your swollen pussy, intent on drawing this out as long as you’ll let him. “Love when you ride my thigh like this, when you let me feel how wet you are.”
Your body takes over, chasing the high, Bucky letting you set the pace, his large hand palming your heavy breasts, the occasional pinch and playful tug of your nipples building you higher. He never lets the silence settle for too long, filling the moments between heavy breaths and barely coherent words with a string of praises, reminding you how much he loves every inch of you.
The darkness seems to amplify your senses, allowing you to get lost in the sensations, your walls pulsing with every delicious grind against your clit. You’re on the verge of begging him to fuck you, the words on the tip of your tongue when a wave of tension takes over, ruining all your plans.
Your hips falter the same time Bucky’s do, his gentle assurance of, “it’s okay,” calming your racing heart before it can beat out of control. Keeping his hand pressed to your stomach, you breathe through the confusion, trying to pinpoint the trigger before deciding to focus on how to move forward instead.
A request for more comes in the form of asking him to turn on a light, the need to see him overpowering everything else, and Bucky’s climbing off the bed, a lingering kiss and touch to keep you company until he returns. You’re kicking the covers off just as he clicks the adjoining bathroom light on, your eyes adjusting quickly to the soft glow now illuminating the room.
The irresistible image of you waiting for him has him returning to the bed within record time, his feet only pausing when his gaze drifts to his prosthetic arm, safe in its resting place in the corner of the room. He doesn’t always wear it to bed, your sex life never suffering without it, but he knows how much you enjoy having both his arms wrapped around you, the slight furrow of his brow telling you exactly what he’s thinking.
You interrupt the unspoken question, your voice pulling Bucky’s attention back to you, your unprompted words taking him by surprise. “I wanna ride you.”
“Oh really?” he asks, the former subject easily forgotten, a grin spreading at the eager nod of your head. He doesn’t need to be told twice, jumping onto the bed with a flourish, landing on his back with a soft thud, a giddy look plastered across his face.
“You’re ridiculous,” you laugh, getting to your knees beside him, not missing the way his eyes travel along your curves, the peak of his tongue wetting his lips giving you momentary pause, your thighs tensing with need.
Bucky’s obviously thinking the same thing, his laughter sending a thrill down your spine as he asks, “Whatcha thinking about ridin’, doll?”
You enjoy having his head between your thighs just as much as he does, the teasing flick of his tongue along his top teeth having you shaking your head at him. “Your cock, if that’s okay with you,” you tell him, the playful grin on your face masking your concern of being triggered again if you can’t see his eyes.
“Oh, no complaints from me,” he emphatically promises, offering out his hand to help you climb on top, your worry not lost on him. You’ve been through so much together, Bucky having learned to read your body, understanding your emotions even better than you sometimes. As obsessed as he is with you, his mouth watering at the thought of tasting you, he won’t push for it, especially not tonight.
Your bodies fit together perfectly, puzzle pieces interlocking like you were made for each other, his thick cock stretching you slowly with each roll of your hips, taking him inch by glorious inch. His firm grip on your thigh encourages you to keep going, his audible grunts and gasps filling your ears, unable to tear your eyes away from him.
“Jesus,” Bucky pants, his lashes fluttering every time you let him slide in just a bit deeper, his hips tense underneath you, determined to give you complete control. “Feel so good, baby. God, I love you.”
You’re quick to nod your head, your hands finding their way to his chest, allowing you to find an easy rhythm, your eyes nearly rolling back when he bottoms out inside of you. “Oh fuck,” you whine, your hips moving on autopilot, grinding in slow circles, soon finding the perfect pressure against your clit that has you trembling on top of him.
There’s something incredibly intoxicating about being in charge of your own pleasure, especially when Bucky could easily overpower you, the occasional twitch of his hips signaling just how hard he’s working to control himself.
It leaves you breathless, your body finding a quicker pace, the head of cock hitting that spot deep inside of you that has you seeing stars. When his name starts to fall past your lips like a prayer, his thighs tense, shifting underneath you, the new angle forcing out the words burning the back of your throat, “Bucky… baby, please. Please, fuck me.”
“Co’mere,” he growls, pulling you down on top of him, your palms finding purchase against the mattress on either side of his head, his eyes never leaving yours. With his arm wrapped around your waist, hand splayed across your lower back, he starts a slow pace, watching the pleasure play out across your face.
Bucky pulls out until your walls pulse, a prideful grin twitching at the corners of his mouth at how greedily you welcome him back in, his eyes darkening when he bottoms out, your thrusts soon meeting his.
“That’s it,” he pants, nodding his head, his hold on you grower firmer, doing his best to keep the right amount of friction against your clit. “Just like that, take whatever you need baby.” He’s aware your muscles are going to grow tired soon, your knees likely needing a break before long, but he refuses to stop until you tell him to, gritting his teeth with effort to hold his own orgasm back.
You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve come close to the edge yourself, only for the feeling to fade, your mind threatening to spiral into unwanted territory. Until this very moment, you’ve done a good job at holding the unwanted feelings at bay, your desire for intimacy and connection driving your actions.
Except, that’s suddenly no longer the case, a particularly sharp burst of pleasure has you closing your eyes and before you realize it, everything’s come to a standstill. The unwarranted apology dies on the tip of your tongue, a heavy sigh of frustration leaving you as you quickly shake your head, sitting up to try to regain some semblance of composure.
“Sweetheart,” Bucky murmurs, taking hold of your hand to bring it to his lips, brushing a kiss across your knuckles to soothe your anxiety. “Tell me what you need.”
You breathe heavily, your bodies still connected, Bucky nestled deep inside of you, your walls spasming uncontrollably around him. There’s no reason to push through this, to ignore your body’s obvious discontent, no matter how much you want to pretend you can handle this.
It’d be unfair to subject either of you to that inevitable discomfort. The only thing you can do is face it, admit that you’re not as strong as you’d like to admit, your independent nature wanting to fight you the entire way. A gentle clearing of your throat, followed by a rough swallow and you’re bringing your awareness back to the present, your eyes finally opening to meet his once again.
One look at him and it’s easy to find your voice, his warm smile breaking down your walls like they’re paper-thin. “I need to feel you on top of me.” To feel the comfort of his weight, the safety of his embrace.
Bucky’s more than happy to oblige, trusting that you understand your own needs, knowing you’ll tell him if it becomes too much. Guiding you back down on top of him, his lips find yours, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple act as he secures an arm around you, cradling you against him in order to roll you both over.
It’s not as seamless as either of you anticipate, your tense muscles and abundant wetness causing him to slip out. Neither of you are able to hide your exhales of disappointment, Bucky’s grin meeting your own when he lines himself back up, the head of his cock nudging your entrance, giving you every opportunity to change your mind.
As grateful as you are, it’s not needed, and your hips shift, telling him everything he needs to know, the nod you give him alleviating any lingering doubt. With his weight settling on top of you, his body aligned with yours, he slides his arm underneath your shoulder to cradle the back of your neck in his palm and finally surges forward, sinking back into your tight heat. 
Your unbridled reaction spurs him on, your gasps and cries of exquisite pleasure causing heat to race up his spine, his hips setting a familiar pace. He can’t stop himself from praising you, watching you start to fall apart for him, your walls fluttering around him with every deep stroke, his body grinding hard against your clit.
You cling to him, nails digging into his back, your orgasm just out of reach, sweat covering your body, the desperation written all over your face. You’re so close, Bucky’s loud groans and animalistic grunts usually enough to send you spiraling, his words causing more arousal to coat his cock, but there’s still something holding you back, your body on the verge of tensing again.
“Tell me I’m okay,” you gasp, your eyes locked on his, your hips meeting his thrusts, your body begging for release.
“You’re okay,” he promises, dropping his forehead to yours, his heavy breath fanning your face, using every ounce of energy to not succumb to the pleasure threatening to overwhelm him. “You’re okay, my sweet girl. You’re safe, I’m not going anywhere.”
His steady stream of assurance has you crying out, tears pricking your eyes, the familiar tingle starting to build to unbearable heights, surely about to tease you again. Bucky refuses to give up, fucking you through it, maintaining the perfect, consistent speed, his cock bottoming out each time, the sounds of your bodies meeting in a heated rush adding to the sensations coursing through you.
“There we go,” he groans, his grip on the back of your neck tightening, holding you in place as you start to tighten around him, refusing to let you push him out. “You feel so fucking good, sweetheart, just let go for me. You’re safe, you’re right where you belong.”
That’s all it takes, your mouth opening in a silent scream as your entire body tenses, your limbs wrapped around him, his movements never faltering, letting you ride out the intense waves taking over your senses. You’re not even aware when your voice returns to you, a string of incoherent noises filling the air as you come hard, sobbing from the onslaught of pleasure, Bucky not missing a single second of the glorious vision unfolding underneath him.
He doesn’t allow himself to let go until he’s sure it’s what you want, your gasping pleas triggering his orgasm. With a groan of your name, he pulls you into a fiery kiss, his hips thrusting just a few more times as his pulsing cock fills you with his release.
You've been reduced to heavy pants and trembling limbs, Bucky's body shaking against yours, more sweet utterances of love and devotion being shared as you both return back to reality.
For the first time in too long, you’re able to stay relaxed in his embrace, refusing to let him move for several moments, the weight of him pressing down on you keeping you grounded. It’s not until your lungs start to ache from lack of deep breaths that you relent, letting Bucky roll you both over, your bodies continuing to draw comfort from each other.
There’s no rush to clean up, no dire need to leave the bed, the two of you remaining there for as long as you want, your mind at ease, Bucky’s steady breaths and gentle caress of your back almost lulling you back to sleep. 
This time, there’s no need to fight it. You let yourself drift off, peaceful rest once again overtaking you, Bucky content to hold you for the rest of the night, promising to keep you safe wherever your dreams take you.
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look-at-the-soul · 8 months ago
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Every little thing you do- Part 2
Tommy Shelby x reader
Series Master list
Thank you so much for giving this little idea so much love 💕 it means a lot! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts
Word count: 2,695
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The house was quiet, it was probably pretty late by now, but at least the initial commotion was calmer now. Tommy’s eyes focused on the flame flickering on the bedside table, the room was quiet. Then his eyes darted to Y/N… his best friend seemed so vulnerable, so small. He had seen the marks her father left on her back it was a horrible sight and now it looked worse. As if her life wasn’t complicated enough by the unplanned pregnancy, Y/N would have to deal with the physical pain as well.
He studied Y/N’s face for a minute, taking in the swollen eyes from crying too much, his heart aches for her, she didn’t deserve to be treated like this. She held a special place close to his heart since they were kids.
“Do you’ve a minute?” Polly asked.
As she realized the doubt in her nephew’s eyes, she assured him that Y/N would sleep for a while. After cleaning her injuries and adding a strong ointment to the wounds on her back, Polly checked the baby and gave Y/N a tea to help her sleep.
Tommy gave Y/N one more look and covered her arm with the thin sheet, but was careful enough to not hurt her before he walked out of what was once Ada’s room in Watery Lane.
“What happened?” He found Polly downstairs stomping her cigarette on the ashtray. Earlier, she didn’t ask questions, she just rushed to take care of Y/N’s wounds just she had done so many times when they were kids, and eventually teenagers on the brick of trouble every time.
“Y/N is pregnant, the son of a bitch told her he wasn’t sure the baby is his.”
“And that’s why her father hit her like that?!” She asked scandalized. “He’s an animal.”
“How’s the baby, really?” He asked with genuine concern.
Polly sighed. “She was smart to offer her back, so the belt wouldn’t hit in any compromising area, but I’d keep her in bed just in case.” She suggested.
“Tommy,” Scudboat apologized for the interruption, “we found the vehicle, Scott has been hiding in the house, do you want the men to enter and get him?”
Leaning on the counter, Tommy considered his options for a few seconds. “No, keep someone watching his house at all times, he might try to escape.”
As the blinder left him again alone with his aunt, Tommy expressed out loud a decision he had already made.
“We can’t leave her alone Pol.” He clenched his jaw. “She’s on her own, that bastard just used her and her family won’t help her with the baby yo-you saw how they hurt her.”
“I know.” She added breathlessly stopping for a second as she got the kettle. “They turned their backs on her when she needed them the most.”
“Sort a doctor tomorrow morning to make sure they’ll be fine.”
“And then what?” Pol stared at him.
“I just got a house, still needs a few things… I can take Y/N there, because if she stays here, she’ll see her parents all damn day.”
“In the meantime if she needs another place, there’s my house as well.”
Tommy folded his arms against his chest and nodded profusely.
“Poor Y/N… she’ll have a hard time with people pointing fingers at her all the time.” Polly shook her head.
Tommy remembered the long stares and whispers over Ada, when she suddenly got married and started showing no long after. He had been forced to walk around with the gun in his hand for several weeks. They even kicked her out of a boutique once she tried buying a dress and Tommy had to stop by with a few men until his sister got the dress that she wanted.
“I’ll blind anyone who dares to do something against Y/N.” He stated firmly pouring some whiskey finally.
“What happened?” Finn asked looking from his brother to his aunt.
“If anyone asks,” Tommy pointed a finger at him, “you haven’t seen Y/N here alright?”
Finn frowned. “But I haven’t seen her.”
“Exactly.” Tommy agreed walking towards the fireplace, he added a few pieces of wood and then took a seat in front of it. Pondering on the previous events, worry installed on his shoulders of what might happen. Anger spreading on his body at the thought of his best friend being humiliated by her useless boyfriend, after all she had done for the prick and he had the audacity to doubt the baby was his. Thanks to her, Scott got the chance to be a blinder, and with that endless benefits.
One of his men knocked desperately and as Tommy went to see what was happening he heard the best news of the day.
“We followed Scott, he was at the train station.”
He took the remaining of his drink in a swing. “Was?”
“The boys took him to the warehouse, he had a ticket to escape.”
Tommy gave his aunt a look. “If Y/N wakes up, send someone to let me know.”
As Polly saw them disappear, her eyes darted upwards, in a silent prayer. She knew Scott wouldn’t live a day without regretting his decision. Taking her cup of tea with her, she decided to look for some clothes and clean sheets to provide to Y/N while they sorted everything out.
Y/N was considered part of the family, she and Tommy had always been close, in a way Y/N was the only person who could understand her nephew. The one who he trusted the most.
She decided to go to the church the following morning to light a candle and pray for Y/N and the baby.
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Taking a deep breath and one of her eyes cracked a bit open. As everything started to hurt so bad, her chest felt heavy as memories from what had happened hit Y/N hard. Word by word her parents had said replayed in her mind.
A single tear rolled down from her eye to her nose. With trembling fingers, Y/N moved one of her hands to the yet non-existent bump. It was still early to start showing but she couldn’t help but think her baby was starting to grow inside her.
Despite the circumstances, Y/N felt like giving her own life for this baby. It didn’t matter that Scott or her family decided to leave her.
Tommy opened the door carefully to not wake Y/N up, but to his surprise she was already awake.
“Go on… say it.” She was waiting for Tommy’s lecture.
Scott had turned his back just like her parents. All the people she thought she could rely on showed her to not take them for granted.
But Tommy shook his head.
“How are you feeling?” He asked taking the chair in the corner to place it next to the bed.
“Like a total failure.” She admitted with tears in her eyes.
“Y/N.” Tommy didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, to help her. “Hey, look at me.” He spoke softly and covered one of her hands with his own.
Y/N started biting the inside of her cheek to prevent more tears to come out. But looked at her best friend anyways.
“You’re not alone, I know you’ve a lot to take in at the moment… but you can count on me for everything.” He offered sincerely.
She didn’t feel worth any of this, she felt dirty, stupid for believing in Scott’s love words. How could she have been so naïve?
“Why?” Her voice broke. “Why do you want to help me when I’ve done everything wrong?”
“Don’t do this to yourself.” Tommy swallowed hard. “Don’t let them get in your head, I know how it is, but this isn’t your fault.”
“Of course it is! I gave myself away to Scott, I’m just another whore.”
Tommy lost his control, he didn’t want her to feel this way.
“You’re not a whore. You did it out of love and that’s not something to regret.”
“I deserve this, my father is right.” Y/N shook her head, she angrily wiped a tear away.
“No, you don’t deserve this shit happening. Y/N you’re a good woman an-”
Y/N’s grandmother asked if she could walk into the room. Tommy felt grateful for the interruption because he didn’t know how to deal this situation. He didn’t want to say that he had warned Y/N about her now ex boyfriend and make her feel worse than she already did.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
At least he got a chance last night at the warehouse to make the bastard pay for playing with Y/N’s heart. Tommy made it very clear he better disappear from her life for good because if he ever saw him again, he wouldn’t let him walk twice alive.
He had been a few punches away from killing Scott. But the image of Y/N holding a baby in her arms stopped him… he wouldn’t be responsible for killing that baby’s father, even though Scott definitely deserved it. So he limited himself to leave a little warning, a message.
“This is a mess, Y/N feels so guilty for getting into this.” Tommy announced walking into the kitchen. He found his sister and aunt making breakfast.
Tommy’s eyes fixed on Karl and he was taken back in time to when Ada thought he had betrayed Freddie. He was a lot of things, but he’d never cause a pain like that to a child. At least not one of his own people.
From the beginning, he knew Scott was a piece of shit, but Y/N seemed so happy and thrilled, how would he step in to destroy her happiness? He never imagined he’d have to help her pick up the broken pieces of her heart. The sudden presence of Polly close to him made him snap back into reality, she stepped closer to help him light the cigarette that was hanging from his mouth.
Tommy moved his eyes towards his nephew, he was playing with a truck on the floor. Perhaps he was overthinking but he didn’t know what would he answer when Y/N’s child asked about his or her father.
“Ada would you talk to Y/N?”
“About what?”
“When you got pregnant…” he began with embarrassment in his eyes to talk about that. “It’s something similar.”
They’ve come a long way ever since, but Tommy still regretted the time they spent apart. Family was everything to him.
“And what do you want me to say Tommy? Her boyfriend dumped her, it’s not the same I got married.”
He sighed in frustration. “I just want Y/N to feel our support.”
“You’re going to make her feel overwhelmed! I know how noisy you can be.” Ada protested.
Tommy scoffed, he felt offended by his sister’s words. He just wanted to help Y/N.
“I’ll talk to her.” Polly intervened placing some food on a tray to give Y/N.
“Thank you.”
Ada clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. Her eyes boring into her brother.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
But Ada turned the corner of her mouth down and shuddered. “Nothing it’s just strange to see you go above and beyond for someone.”
As she walked out of the kitchen, Tommy found himself thinking of her words. She was telling the truth but… but how could he stand there and do nothing for Y/N?
He knew her like the palm of his hand, she had been by his side since forever, encouraging him to follow his dreams, telling him the truth right in his face when he messed up. Even he didn’t want to hear it.
There was no other way to do this, she’d have his entire support through the pregnancy and whatever she might need afterwards.
“Mr. Shelby!” Y/N’s grandmother shouted from upstairs.
Tommy skipped a few steps and when he reached Ada’s old room, he found Polly holding Y/N’s hair back, she had been sick and her grandmother was trying to hold her trembling body.
“I’m sorry Pol. Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry for? With everything you’ve been through it’s not a surprise your stomach can’t handle food. Tommy help me here.” His aunt asked him to take her place so Y/N could use his strength as support. “Take her to that chair, while I sort this out.”
Following Polly’s instructions, Tommy lead Y/N carefully to the chair in the corner while his aunt and Y/N’s grandma changed the bedsheets. Ada joined them a moment later with a glass of water. “Try some crackers, it helped me with sickness during my pregnancy.” She offered taking the sheets downstairs.
Y/N groaned feeling embarrassed and mortified for everything. As soon as she smelled the food her stomach protested, but she felt bad for telling Polly something so she decided to just eat the food. But the moment she got the first bite, she couldn’t help it and it ended in her throwing up and making a mess.
“I want to thank you for taking care of her.” Y/N’s grandmother admitted taking her hand.
“I was just thinking…” Tommy started to say, “You could come with me to the new place I got.” Then he turned to face her grandmother. “It’s outside the city, away from curious eyes and it’s surrounded by trees.”
“No.” Y/N stated.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea dear.” Her grandma smiled at Tommy. “Fresh air could help her.”
Y/N sighed frustrated with herself, with the situation.
“Think about it, yeah?” Tommy suggested. “That way you won’t run into your parents everyday, and you can walk to the lake to relax.”
“He’s right.” Her grandma approved. “You’ll feel grateful to be away from the drama.”
“Perfect! Looks like you got it all figured out Tommy.” She snapped. “Just like my mother who wanted to send me to her aunt’s farm.”
She knew this wasn’t fair, he was the only one offering support, but she couldn’t help it, she felt on the brick, like everything was falling apart. And she was angry with herself.
Polly pushed Tommy away and gently grabbed Y/N’s arm. “Sweetheart all of this worry isn’t right for the baby. For the first time, I think going to that house is the best idea.”
“Unfortunately your choices are limited my darling.” Y/N’s grandma spoke softly. “But you should know that these wonderful people are trying to help you.”
She was trying to be strong, to pretend this didn’t hurt her, but truth is he world was crashing down. And this was only the beginning.
That seemed to click on Y/N’s mind because she gave a small nod, her lower lip gave in and it started quivering, then the tears started to fall down her cheeks.
“Thank you so much.” Y/N sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” Emotions took over her.
Her grandma pulled her in for a hug, wrapping her arms protectively around her just like she did when she was a child. “The Lord removed some people from your life but look at the angels he placed right away.”
Tommy saw Polly dabbing the corner of her eyes with her sleeve.
“This baby will grow surrounded by people who really love him or her.” He assured her.
“Now how about I help you take a bath? The doctor should arrive shortly.” Polly offered rubbing her back.
Her grandma squeezed between them. “I better go, said I was going to church.”
“Thank you for coming gran.” Y/N gave her a tight hug.
As they moved to get things done, Polly stopped her nephew before he could walk downstairs. “You’re brave for helping her like this.”
“I can’t leave her on her own.” He tried to explain, but Polly interrupted him.
“Your mother raised you right.” She then, in an unexpected move touched his shoulder. “She’d be proud of you.”
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Part 3
Master list
Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @lau219 @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @lauren-raines-x @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @red-riding-wood @lovemissyhoneybee @theendlessvoidofdarkest @wannabeperfectionists-blog @yeppaweshallsee (can’t tag) @skydysneylover (can’t tag) @holacia3 @galactic3a (can’t tag) @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @ietss @abaker74 @natalie--rushman @elliaze @justrainandcoffee
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syntheticavenger · 5 months ago
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Life in the Fast Lane - Part Ten
Has it really been almost a year+ since I updated this? No way...
Warnings: 18+ ONLY.  Language, Alpha/Omega dynamics, angst, violence (assault), mentions of pregnancy, a special surprise.
Life in the Fast Lane Series Masterlist
Word Count: 2K
CEO! Alpha Ari Levinson x Mechanic! Female Omega Reader
gif by @lilacevans​ | divider by @firefly-graphics​
Summary | The last thing you need is a distraction while trying to run a small auto shop. Ari Levinson is just that and more.
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Todd hears the sound of a rumbling motorcycle, stilling his movements for a moment, hear the sound clearer, more distinct before the engine cuts off. It could be anyone, a lone biker needing someone to look at his bike or, as Todd scents, someone who has come back to check on a familiar stomping ground.
His pace quickens to get to the door, meeting none other than Tyler Rake at the entrance. It feels silly to get emotional, seeing the tatted Alpha, one that has been his found family since he can remember, giving him a hug as Tyler grips him tight. He lets the tears flow, knowing that it’s because the sense of his grounding is back. He’d never had an older brother but Tyler came damn close, if not going above and beyond. He’d given him a job, given him a sense of his own agency, especially as an Omega.
When he pulls away, Tyler doesn’t make any mention of the tears, merely squeezing his shoulder as he looks around the shop. He seems proud, nodding with approval at the amount of awards that are placed above on the walls.
“You’ve all turned this place into something else,” Tyler praises, pushing open a door. “Is she here?”
“Uh, no,” Todd answers him quickly, knowing you’re away for a little. He wants to text you, let you know that Tyler is back but he doesn’t know if Ari is there or if you’re doing some important pregnant Omega thing. “She’s out at the moment.”
“She didn’t answer my call so I figured as much. Wanted to surprise you all.”
“It is a surprise,” Todd insists, pushing open the door of the back of the shop.
“Well, look at this shit,” Tyler murmurs, his eyes widening at the amount of tools. “How much through put?”
“On average, twenty cars?”
“You need another shop,” Tyler notes, Todd nodding in agreement. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“We didn’t want to bother you, you know? You were out seeing the world and honestly,” Todd says with a wave of his hand. “We can manage it. We stay late, the work gets done. No unhappy customers.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Tyler turns around, facing Todd. “You hungry? Let’s get some lunch.”
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You’re supposed to meet him at his office for lunch, the security guard letting you up with a polite wave, taking the elevator up as you try to text him again to let him know you’re almost there. 
When the elevator doors open, you inhale, immediately knowing that someone else is close.
And it isn’t Ari.
Delilah is slowly putting things in a box, hidden away from Ari’s office. You see her clear as day, muttering to herself when you step out of the elevator, her eyes snapping up at you. Immediately, her gaze goes to your swollen belly in your coveralls, a slight sneer on her glossed lips.
“Do you have an appointment?” Delilah sniffs, reaching for her phone.
“Do you have a job?” you fire back, trying to temper your irritation at seeing her. Ari had told you it was done and now, seeing her as she looks at her phone as if you’re bothering her, only lends to your anger that is rising.
“Why is that any of your business?” Delilah shoots back, glaring at you while you take a step forward.
“I have an appointment, it’s always on the top of his calendar,” you reply, Delilah swallowing hard at your words when she moves away from the desk and toward you.
"Do you know who Ari Levinson truly is? He could have anyone he wants,” Delilah says quietly, looking you up and down with disgust. “You’re not mated. Do you think he’ll ever truly bond you? You’re a fling who just so happens to be having his bastard child. That’s not a win, you -”
Teeth bared, you throw her down onto the carpeted floor, her whimper of surprise falling on deaf ears as you grab the lapels of her shirt.
“What did you just call my baby?” you ask, your voice low.
“A bastard,” Delilah hisses. “He’ll leave it and you behind. It’s probably not even his.”
The blow hits her squarely in the jaw and then another, your hands in her hair, her screams not registering despite her mouth opening and you’re pulled off of her by a pair of strong arms, Delilah in hysterics as she wails, laying on her side, covering her face. Pure rage roils inside you, your heart beating rapidly when you scent Ari, his own heart thumping against your back.
“Ari!” Delilah cries, your hard pants mixing with her shouts of pain. “She hit me!”
“Let me go!” you demand, Ari’s hands cradling your belly, trying to settle you down as you lunge for her again.
“No,” Ari says firmly. “Not here.”
His voice is low in your ear, his scent calming you as tears spring to your eyes. You won’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry, blinking them away when Delilah stumbles to get up.
“Shit,” Ari mutters, still holding onto you. “What happened?”
“She attacked me! She’s unhinged! She jumped at me out of nowhere!” Delilah sobs.
“Bastard,” you say calmly, noticing blood on your knuckles. “She called our baby a bastard.”
Ari’s hold on you tightens as he glares at Delilah, her mouth opening and closing, struggling with what she wants to say.
“A bastard,” he repeats, Delilah wiping blood away from her mouth.
He lets you go gently, crouching down to see Delilah’s face. You managed to get in a good hit, mascara melded with her tears as she holds her jaw.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” he asks calmly, looking at the boxes. “As I recall, your access was revoked when I fired you. How did you get in?”
“Wilson let me in,” she sniffles. “I wanted to pack, to say goodbye.”
“You trespassed,” Ari says, standing up as he looks down at her. “Which, if I’m remembering correctly, is a crime.”
“She assaulted me!”
Ari nods in agreement, following with your own nod of approval.
“I can call the police if you like,” he offers, Delilah glancing between you both. “But I think we both know what the penalty is for threatening an unborn baby.”
“I didn’t threaten it!”
“That,” he says through clenched teeth. “Is my child you’re talking about.”
A flash of remembrance of what she said prior propels you take a step further, Delilah cowering as Ari puts his hand up to stop you.
“Delilah, you have less than five minutes to get out of my sight,” he orders, his tone short, nearly an Alpha command before he looks at you.
Delilah scrambles to get her purse, wiping her mouth again before running full speed out the door. Ari breathes heavily at the spots of blood on the carpet, trying to maintain his composure when you hear the elevator doors close.
“If she calls the cops,” you begin, a smirk playing on your lips. “It will have been worth it.”
“You aren’t going to jail,” Ari says, pulling you close, holding you tight as he lets out a shuddered breath. “You fucking scared me. I heard the scream and I -”
“You think she hit me?” you ask incredulously, looking up at him in disbelief. “There’s no way she would even get close.”
“Are you and the baby okay?” he asks, his hands running down the sides of your belly. “You can’t just go off and knock the ever-loving daylights out of people.”
“She deserved it,” you mutter, feeling your temper spike. “She called our baby a bastard. A bastard, Ari! Like I’d let her get away with that.”
He kisses your forehead, the fight immediately dissipating as you frown.
“You could have been hurt,” he reminds you, shaking his head when you roll your eyes. “I mean it. She could have fought dirty.”
“She would have had to know how to fight to fight dirty.”
Ari says your name as a warning, his hand raking his hair back.
“Do you think she’ll call the cops?” you ask, wondering how orange would look on you.
“She’s not calling the cops. Not with all the things I know she’s done.”
“Like what?”
“One crazy day at a time,” he reminds you, turning you back toward his office. “I’m starving.”
You smile, knowing exactly where you’re going.
“Food is that way,” you remind him, pointing toward the elevator.
“I know what I want,” Ari says, closing the door behind you both before he kisses you. “And I want it now.”
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“Vision Automotive,” you answer, cleaning a tool as your hold the phone to your ear. You’re in a good mood, Todd giving you a strange look when he first saw your bandaged hand.
“Don’t we have a receptionist?” Tyler teases.
The tool clatters to the floor before you clear your throat.
“They get days off too, you know,” you reply. “Am I not doing a good job, Rake? Getting worried that you haven’t heard anything?”
“Just the opposite. I’m actually in town for a little bit. Maybe longer depending on what I have going on. Wanted to see all the great work you’ve been doing. Todd says it’s been packed with cars non-stop.”
“I wouldn’t say non-stop,” you counter, looking at the three waiting cars to be worked on. “We do close at seven.”
“Always a smartass,” Tyler muses. “Would my best mechanic want to join me for a bar hop since I’m back in town?”
“Bar hop?” you repeat, looking at the jumpsuit that is snug around your waist. “Too busy for that.”
“At least let me take you and Todd out for a nice dinner. Consider it a thank you for everything you’ve both been doing.”
“Sounds good to me. See you tomorrow.”
Todd’s back is to you and you already know that he’s aware that Tyler is back in town, tossing a rag at the middle of his back.
“When were you going to tell me he was back?” you ask Todd.
“When you realized you missed two of his phone calls,” Todd replies, your hand diving into your pocket to look at your missed calls. You smile sheepishly, putting your phone back into your pocket.
“Way to warn a girl that her boss was already here.”
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Tyler finishes off a beer, flicking the bottle into the bin as it falls perfectly inside. Looking over at his ’67 Chevelle, he pops the hood to look at the shiny engine that he’s just replaced, tightening a bolt before he steps back.
He knows you’ll roll your eyes at the sight of it. It’s been his pride and joy since he bought it two years ago, finally finishing up the repairs and final touches. He’s impressed with how you’ve handled the shop, though truthfully he’s always known that you were going to do a great job, even as he’d traveled the world, randomly getting updates from Todd on how busy the shop was getting, checking on you to make sure you weren’t getting too burned out.
As it turned out, Todd’s check-ins had been vague after a while, sharing that you had been out of the office for a weekend, then a few extra days. Unlike you to take so much time off but it had been well deserved.
Tyler looks at the picture he took of you at the shop before he left, the wallpaper on his phone as you’re juggling a wrench and screwdriver in the air, a bright smile on your face with a smudge of motor oil on your cheek. It’s something that cheers him up when he needs a break, placing his phone back down as he stretches, a thought running across his mind.
Dialing Todd’s number, he picks up after the first ring.
“Hey boss,” Todd answers brightly. “Everything okay?”
“Shop closes at seven, right?”
“Sure does. Are you coming for another visit?”
“Yeah,” Tyler says with a slight pause. “But don’t tell her. Let it be a surprise.”
“Sure, you know she loves those,” Todd replies dryly. “But will do.”
“Good.”
He can’t put his finger on it but he’s sure you’re hiding something.
And he can't wait to find out.
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mcflymemes · 6 months ago
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ANYONE BUT YOU (2023) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary
you still live at 28 fuckboy lane?
there's a reason why you're alone. no one can trust you.
i still think about the night we spent together.
these last few days really made me realize how much i miss you.
that night at your place, no matter how it ended, it was still pretty amazing.
so... you gonna kiss me now?
you'll always be my rock bottom.
okay, nuzzle my neck. get in there.
we are not together. we were faking it the whole time.
we have to kick it up a notch. make it feel like we're in the ga-ga stage.
you know, i feel really bad about that.
did you catch him measuring his dick with a ruler app?
you scared the shit out of me.
we're getting pretty good at faking it.
it doesn't matter how we found out.
permission to put my left hand on your right buttock?
okay, not in circles. it's not a magic lamp.
are you not wearing underwear?
we do not inherit the earth. we just borrow it from our creatures.
i have a better idea. you just let me do everything.
thanks for being so cool about all of this.
you want a coffee? it's the best n the world.
there's only one bed, but we hung a shower curtain in the middle.
hi. where's your bathroom?
i could have done it myself, but whatever. thanks.
thanks for not stealing my coat.
is that really a two person job?
you would let me die?
they think i'm throwing my life away.
no, that was rude. i apologize to anyone that was listening.
i don't know. i'm not good at this, sorry.
i'm from a different generation.
i'm not talking about love. i'm talking about dick.
all that matters is that we're together.
that's not me anymore. i'm free now. i'm deprogrammed.
no way, that man does not have a heart.
well, that didn't take long.
if i never ask you for anything ever again, can you please just lay off of me this weekend?
let's just have a moment to calm ourselves.
no one cares. no one can see us.
we were on a break, asshole.
either way, someone's lying to someone.
i must have really gotten under your skin.
you used none of those terms properly.
i cannot believe i just said that out loud.
i'm sorry. my life is a disaster right now.
look at this place. it looks like every serial killer reenactment documentary.
no matter how broken something is, there's always a way to fix it.
this whole thing is so new to me.
i don't really like labels, but i like you a whole bunch.
so are you going to ask me out now?
so if we were getting attacked by giant spiders, you would not be able to protect us?
you two know each other?
i'm going to go grab a drink. door's that way if you're looking to sneak out. i know that's your thing.
i'm going to get a drink and toast to never seeing you again.
how crazy is it that we're on the same plane?
why do so many of us feel stuck?
you don't even play tennis.
we're fine if he just stays away from me.
you're such a romantic.
i was hoping you'd come. i wanted to message you, but i didn't know how you'd feel about hearing from me.
they're also a little worried how you're gonna react to all this.
you have a little something in your teeth.
we need to come up with a game plan.
you are so terrible at this.
it's harder than you think.
they know i would never go out with a guy like you.
we just suck face in front of everybody.
you're calling me a fuckboy like it's an insult? i own that shit.
let's just be affectionate. i know it's a foreign concept for you.
you were the one who said there's a thin line between love and hate.
i think it was more of a euphemism for crying alone.
i definitely didn't hate you.
last night was the first thing i haven't regretted in a long time.
i love the weird way you stick your hand down my pants.
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lipglossanon · 2 years ago
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M༙྇r༙྇.༙྇ S༙྇i༙྇n༙྇i༙྇s༙྇t༙྇e༙྇r༙྇
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corrupt cop!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ so minors DNI, Reader is 18+, corruption kink, dark Leon, daddy kink, biting, dirty talk, oral (f receiving)
don’t like, don’t interact 🤷‍♀️ any typos or mistakes are my own, not proofread and also probably an overuse of the word good but eh lmao
divider: @firefly-graphics 💜
Editing to add: title of this is Mr. Sinister, pulled from the I Don’t Know How But They Found Me song of the same name ✌️
Part 2: Mirror on the Wall (Tell Me All the Ways to Stay Away)
Part 3: One Love, Two Mouths
Part 4: Embracing With Two Hands
______________
Leon likes to patrol the usual hideaways and make out spots in Raccoon City; although he’s in his late 20’s now, the spots are still popular and it’s easy pickings to write out tickets for loitering or underage drinking.
He doesn’t stake out Lovers Lane too often, but tonight he’s extremely glad he did.
He spots you, alone, walking down the pull off road headed out from the popular make out destination. Your arms are folded, thin yellow cardigan paired with a modest grey skirt standing out at this time of night. Your head is bent down so you don’t even notice him until he has pulled up alongside you.
“Lost?”
Your head quickly looks over at him and you give him a shy smile, cute dimples showing.
“Uh n-no. My date, he uh,” you frown, pretty eyes glancing at your shoes, “well, things didn’t go his way so I’m walking home.”
Leon’s eyes rake across your body, a low heat building in his stomach. You’re so vulnerable right now. He feels his pulse race in excitement.
“That’s a shame,” he clicks his tongue drawing your bashful gaze back to him, “I can take you home.”
“Really?” Another of those dimpled smiles grace your face.
“Of course,” Leon grins, boyish and sweet, “hop in the back.”
You climb into the back of the squad car. Leon’s eyes watch as you tug your skirt back down from your thighs as you adjust in your seat. He wants to sink his teeth into them, leave them bruised before burying his face in your little cunt.
You sigh in relief and catch his gaze in the rear view mirror, “I really appreciate it, Officer Kennedy.”
“It’s no problem, sweetheart.”
You give him your address and he nods as he pulls back onto the road.
A few minutes pass by as you gaze out the window watching the trees pass by like dark shadows on the glass.
“So you and your boyfriend huh?” Leon asks, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. The anticipation is building inside him.
You look away from the scenery, brow furrowed as you look at the back of his head.
“Yeah, he um..”
You trail off, feeling embarrassed. You shuffle in your seat and tug on your skirt.
“He didn’t hurt you did he?” Leon’s sharp voice cut in.
“Oh no no,” your eyes widen with surprise, “he just wanted to go further than I was comfortable with.”
Your voice trails off as you bit your lip. Leon watches in the mirror. He loves the look on your face. Uncomfortable and unsure.
“Boys can be very hotheaded. Especially when they’re with a pretty girl. And you’re a very pretty girl,” he spoke, voice still tinged with that dark edge.
You feel your cheeks warm, eyes catching his shyly, “I-I guess.”
“No,” he shook his head, “I won’t have any of that. Say thank you, Officer Kennedy.”
“Thank y-you, Officer Kennedy,” you stammer out, wide eyed at his tone.
Leon gives you a lazy smile, “Good girl. We thank people who give us compliments, sweetheart.”
“Okay,” you feel a low pulse of arousal at his words, “thank you.”
His smile widens, “Anytime. I bet you’re just the sweetest thing, huh. No wonder your boy pushed his luck. I bet you’re still a virgin.”
You press your palms to your face, shielding your embarrassment, “That i-isn’t appropriate to—“
Leon laughs, “Yeah you are, just a sweet, little virgin.”
You press your thighs together, hating and loving the way he was speaking to you.
Leon’s sea dark eyes took in your flustered appearance, “Bet you’re wet right now, pretty girl.”
You let out a harsh gasp and Leon laughs again. You watch as he pulls off into a thick copse of trees, the road disappearing behind you before shutting the car off.
“I think you need someone to show you the ropes, sweetheart,” Leon murmurs in the quiet.
He gets out of the car and makes his way into the backseat with you. You press your back against the opposite door, pulling your legs up to face him.
“Officer Kennedy, I need to get home,” you whisper.
He shakes his head, “And you will but right now, I think I deserve a little treat, right? For taking you home.”
He grabs your ankles and drags your legs to lay out straight as he crawls over your body, boxing you in. You can smell his cologne along with the mint on his breath.
Your hands reach out to press against his chest, stilling his movements.
“Aww,” he coos down at you, “‘m not gonna do anything to hurt you.”
You bite your lip, wide eyes peering up at him, “You promise?”
Leon could jump for joy. You were so trusting which made you easy.
“Of course, pretty girl. I promise. I won’t do anything you won’t like.”
You take a deep breath and let it out, “Okay.”
“Such a good girl for me,” he lets his lips hover over yours.
Your pouty mouth has been tempting him all night. He gives you a quick closed mouth kiss that has you sighing. He presses more chaste pecks against your cheeks and nose before going back to your mouth.
This time, it’s a heated exchange of tongues and lips and spit until your gasping on every exhale and Leon has to pull away. He goes back again and again and again. He can’t get enough of your sticky sweet kisses. The glittery strawberry lipgloss has him sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it with a quiet pop.
He coaxes you to open up your mouth wider and pulls away to slip his thumb between your lips. You slowly suckle on the digit and that, along with your blitzed out expression, has his cock jumping. He pulls his thumb away only to smear it along your red, swollen lips.
“Pretty fuckin mouth,” he presses his thumb back in, “want it stretched around my cock tonight, sweet thing.”
You moan and suck on his thumb harder, thighs twitching and rubbing together. Your skirt gets rucked up from all the movement until Leon can see the light blue panties covering your pussy.
“Yeah,” his eyes darken, “god, I bet that little cunt is soaked right now, huh sweetheart?”
You whine as he pulls his thumb away, “I’ve never w-went this far. I don’t know what to do.”
He groans, “God you’re perfect. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you what you need.”
Leon feels lucky. Like he won the lottery the moment he saw you alone. He tries to reign in his excitement and take it slow.
He moves back to kissing you, thrusting his tongue into your hot, pliant mouth. You tentatively suck on his tongue and he presses his hips down onto yours, grinding the hard line of his cock against your panty clad pussy.
“Gonna make you feel so good, pretty girl.”
He manages to pull himself away from your lips and moves down to your thighs. He presses a few soft kisses into each thigh before latching onto the left and sinking his teeth into it. You give a sharp cry at the sting but feel dizzy with how much you liked it.
“Such a good girl,” he mumbles into the bite, eyes never leaving your face, “gonna do the other side now, ‘kay?”
And before you can even nod, he’s pressing his teeth into your right thigh biting down a little harder than before.
Your head falls back against the door with a low moan.
“Knew you’d like it, fuckin slut.”
You give a mewling gasp in response. Leon continues to litter your thighs with bites and hickeys until your squirming so hard he has to hold your hips in place.
“So fuckin good for me, sweetheart. Gonna keep you all to myself.”
Your pussy clenches at that admission, another low whine spilling from your lips.
You feel wetness slipping down your thighs as Leon slides his fingers across your panties and lightly strokes against your clit. He presses his face against the damp cotton before licking you through your panties, soaking them even further.
He presses an open mouthed kiss to your cunt, tongue lapping at the fabric before finally pulling off your panties and stuffing them in his pocket.
“Gorgeous. You’re pretty everywhere.”
After a beat of panting breaths, he gives a light smack to your mound and puffy clit that makes you thrust up with a wanton cry, “What did I say about compliments?”
You bring your tear filled gaze to his, “T-thank you, Offic—“
“Daddy. That’s what you’re gonna call me now, pretty girl.”
You moan, “Thank you, daddy.”
He smiles up at you, “Of course, sweet thing. Now I’m going to eat this pretty pussy for as long as I want.”
Your legs twitch but stay pressed open, “Thank you, daddy.”
“Good girl,” he grins, “so good for me.”
You feel another gush of wetness from the praise and the hungry look on his handsome features. Your hands flutter at your sides as he brushes his hair away from his face and turns back to the apex of your thighs.
He ducks his head down and licks over your slick folds slowly until his tongue is circling your swollen clit. You can’t stop the low whines and moans as you reach down to run your hands through his hair.
“That’s it, grab onto me if you need to, sweetheart.”
He goes back down on you and eats you out like a man starved. His tongue is thrusting into your wet clenching hole before slipping along your lips up to your sensitive clit. He places open mouth kisses over your mound until finally sucking your clit into his mouth and slowly teasing his tongue across it.
Your hips are jumping and pressing up up up into his mouth. Your careful not to pull his hair but your hands are scratching along his scalp making him moan into your pussy, the vibrations send you reeling.
“Please daddy, please please please,” you’re babbling, “Feels so good. You make me feel so good daddy.”
You’re nearly crying from how much tension is building in your core. Leon slips in a finger alongside his mouth and you feel your orgasm ramping closer and closer.
Leon continues lapping at your hole before moving his mouth up to your clit to softly suckle on it. He slips in another finger and crooks them both upwards. He continuously rubs against that spongy spot that has you clenching hard on his fingers. Your hips arch down into the motion of his hand before arching back up to his sinfully good mouth.
His tongue dips into your cunt alongside his fingers. Pulling back, he presses another sharp bite into your left thigh making you moan loudly and pull his hair.
“Fuck, that’s it’s baby. Want you to feel good.”
You tug him back down into your throbbing pussy and he moans as you press your clit against his lips. Leon mouths at your sloppy cunt until you’re moaning loudly as you cream all over him.
“So good for me, pretty girl,” Leon licks his lips with a grin.
“You want me to help you out now?”
Leon adjusts himself in his slacks, “No, we’re gonna save that for another time, sweetheart. I need to get you home, I’m sure it’s past your bedtime.”
You can feel embarrassment crawl up your spine, “I, uh, live alone so actually I-I don’t really have one.”
He turns his face to the side so it’s hard to read his expression, but you can see his teeth glint in a smile.
“Well now, sweetheart. Maybe I could stop in for a night cap, huh?”
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oscpias · 4 months ago
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if you're up for it
logan sargeant and the inked soulmate prompt (also this isnt too related to the suggestion but does prompt include writing in drawing? or just actual drawings?)
maybe logan absentmindedly drawing the circuit he'll be racing on before the race starts, when reader sees they add details to it, recognizing it, and reader is there at the race whether to watch or as a worker and they somehow run into each other after the race and maybe logan notices the drawing on reader (perhaps short sleeves with the drawing done on the arm)
Hey, thanks for your request:) I hope you like it
This is actually my first work
Like I mentioned it will take me always some days to finish them
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Ink soulmates | Logan Sargeant
Logan Sargeant x fem!reader
593 words
Masterlist
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Logan grew up with drawings on his skin. When he was little, he was excited about it and would always show it to his parents. At the age of thirteen he began to understand the concept of soulmates and he tried to have a conversation with his soulmate, but he never got an answer. He eventually gave up. So, when Logan started karting, he had the habit to always draw the circuit into a small notebook he always carried with him. It’s a habit which still stayed with him even in Formula 1.
Y/n grew up with a love for drawing on her own skin. Pretty early in her life she got told to stop that because it shows up on another person's skin. So even when different questions started to show up on her arms, she tried to ignore and cover them. Thanks to her dad y/n grew up with a passion for motorsport. When she was little, she was watching the races in front of the TV with her dad. Now that she is 23, she got herself tickets for the Austrian GP with her best friend.
Logan was prepared for everything what might happened at this weekend. But when he wanted to draw the circuit into his red notebook, he couldn’t find it. He even asked Alex if he has seen it, but he only got a “No, sorry mate” back. So, he did the most logical thing he could think of, he drew the circuit on his underarm. Just the circuit, no turns or DRS zones.
At first y/n didn’t see the new drawing on her underarm. But because she was wearing a nice summer dress, her friend pointed it out to her: “Hey, look! Your soulmate drew the circuit on his arm. Maybe he’s also here.” Y/n took a closer look, and her friend was right it was the racetrack. “Do you have a pen? He forgot to add the turns and DRS zones to mark”, y/n said to her friend who handed her a pen and she added every other missing detail she could think of.
Logan didn’t notice the new details on his arm until Oscar pointed it out to him: “Hey man, there was just the circuit and now there are all the details. I think your soulmate knows a thing or two about racing”. Logan shakes his head and tries to focus on the race ahead.
Y/n and y/f/n are walking through the pit lane and looked in the different garages when y/n pumped into someone. Only a hand stopped her from falling to the ground. When she wanted to thank the person who saved her, she was met with an Oscar Piastri studying her arm. “So, you’re his soulmate. Oh, he will never believe me that one!” “You know my soulmate?”, y/n asks with a hopeful undertone in her voice. Oscar nods and simply drags her along to the Williams hospitality.
“Logan, I found her!”, is all Logan hears when he is leaving the hospitality. He looks up from his phone and sees Oscar who’s dragging a girl with him. “I found your soulmate! She has the same drawing as you on her arm”, Oscar is really excited about this.
“Hi!”, is all y/n manages to get out. The man in font of her holds out his hand y/n assumes to shake it and takes it. But to her surprise he takes a look at the drawing on her arm and his eyes start to sparkle. “Nice to meet you, soulmate”, he smiles.
©️oscpias 2024
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malk1ns · 11 days ago
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october 31 2024 vs ducks, 2-1 OT win
continuing my bond fic from the last game because it's speaking to me right now.
The jangling bond hasn’t left Zhenya’s awareness since Tuesday.
Now that he knows it’s there, he kind of can’t believe they didn’t notice it sooner. How long has it been waiting for someone to point out the obvious so that it could slip into place? How many years have they been half-bonded and not even noticed?
Zhenya doesn’t want to think too closely on the answer to that.
Luckily, there’s a losing streak to snap.
It’s just the Ducks, but Zhenya watched some tape on their off-day, pacing his living room and scratching absently at his neck because he couldn’t stay still, pausing and rewinding over and over to get a look at the Anaheim goalie. He’s good. And there’s still the lingering embarrassment of the own goal from last season. Zhenya’s determined to make up for that mistake this year.
When the game starts, though, something odd happens.
He’s still on Sid’s wing. There’s a bit of him that rankles at being relegated to left winger, but it’s drowned out by the need to be close to Sid, to sit next to him on the bench and watch plays develop and just know that when they swing over the boards together they’re going to eat the other team alive. Zhenya’s been playing well all season, he’s not too humble to say so, but it’s different when he and Sid are on the ice together.
He’s not putting up points yet, though.
None in the last game, before they knew what had happened, and none tonight either, somehow not on either of Sid’s goals even though Zhenya was out there for the first one, fought for possession and backchecked and got his stick in lanes and did everything he could to make sure Sid had a clear line at the net.
And that’s the strange part, really. Zhenya can play defense, despite what certain pundits in town like to bleat about. He used to be on the penalty kill when he was younger. It’s just not what the team has needed from him for the last couple of years, so he’s focused on offense, on scoring and setting up plays and putting the team on his back and hauling them onto the scoresheet, just like Sid.
But this season, Zhenya’s comfortably at a point-per-game pace. Sid? Isn’t.
And so all game, Zhenya found himself deferring to Sid’s playmaking, Sid’s shots on net. He backchecked, he passed, he snuck his stick into the Ducks’ play to disrupt their momentum and direct the puck back to his own teammates. He worked his ass off to get Sid the chances he needed, and he didn’t get a single point for himself.
It’s important for Sid to get on the score sheet, of course. The Penguins only ever go as far as their captain can take them, and Sid elevating his play back to what he’s capable of is more important than Zhenya’s personal stat line.
But it makes him itchy. The bond is pushing him to step back, to simplify and do the hard work in the corners to make sure Sid can finish his shots, and as happy as Sid is to be back on track, as happy as that makes Zhenya, there’s also a part of him that worries that his contributions are going to fade into the background.
He hands Sid the victory helmet in the locker room after the game. He doesn’t know quite what he said, but it doesn’t matter—Sid won’t let them post that footage, not with the bond so fresh. Sid smiles at him, but he’s swallowed up by the noise and attention from the rest of the team, and Zhenya—
Zhenya steps back, and tugs off his base layers, and slips into the showers.
He scrubs at his hair angrily. Sid’s joy is bright in his peripheral vision, magnetic, and Zhenya wants to go to him, wants to say, look Sid, did you see how I helped, did you see what I did to get you those points?
He wants to worm his way next to Sid, wants to drape his arm over Sid’s shoulders and draw him close. He wants to touch Sid, wants Sid to touch him back, and that’s new and different and frightening.
Zhenya’s feelings are so conflicted, and the bond is tugging at him so strongly, that he feels sick to his stomach. He practically skids into the change room to throw on his sweats, thinking that if he can only get home, maybe some distance before they have to be in to practice tomorrow will settle his stomach and calm the bond down.
He’s almost to his car when Sid catches up with him.
“G,” Sid says, and his hand on Zhenya’s arm feels like a brand. He echoes Zhenya’s sharp inhale. “Hey, where are you…you can’t leave yet.”
Zhenya turns. Sid’s brows are drawn together, and the drowning happiness he’d been feeling since his OT winner went in has flickered, overlaid with anxiety and the same sort of sickly, creeping need that Zhenya’s had crawling over his skin since the trainers finally let them both go home Tuesday night. “Need to sleep,” Zhenya croaks out, clenching his fists. The need to step close and get his hands on Sid’s skin is overwhelming now that they’re so close together.
Sid doesn’t bother holding back. He gets into Zhenya’s space, backing him up against his car and practically pinning him in place. When he pushes his face into the crook of Zhenya’s neck, the sickening spiral of closerclosercloser resolves itself so abruptly that Zhenya would stumble if he weren’t being held so firmly.
“God,” Sid says, voice muffled into Zhenya’s skin. “What is this? Have you…I didn’t notice until you left the locker room, but you’ve…has it been like this for you all night?”
Zhenya swallows. “Since Tuesday,” he admits, wincing as the bond goes remorseful. “I’m think maybe, like, it’s new, but then…” He shrugs.
Sid picks up where he trailed off. “You were playing different all night,” he breathes, tilting his head up and snaking his hands around Zhenya’s waist. “I noticed. You were all over the ice, but you weren’t…it was different. Was that because of me?”
Zhenya’s palms find their way to Sid’s shoulder blades without his permission. “You need points,” he says, sinking lower so their bodies press together. His eyes feel heavy. “I know you’re need so bad, like, I have to do everything to make sure you get.”
“Geno,” Sid sounds…
Zhenya shivers, clutching Sid closer. Suddenly, the mere idea of them being separated is the worst thing he’s ever heard.
“What’s happening?” Sid says. He sounds young, plaintive and lost, and all Zhenya can do is shake his head and try to hold them both steady until this passes and he can get them home.
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writers-hes · 1 year ago
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All Things End
You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn’t realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps, depictions of mental illness, and a toxic marriage)
A/N: This whole fic was inspired by Hozier’s latest releases; Nth/Unknown, All Things End, Francesca, and Eat Your Young. I recommend listening to the album before or after you read this. This dedicated to everyone who reblogged the last chapter. Thank you for the love; it means the world.
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PROTECTION SERIES TAGLIST | PROTECTION MASTERLIST navigation | main master lists |
PART ONE: Toy Horses Outside the Brothel
BIRMINGHAM, 1914
You’ve been inconsolable since the Shelby brothers left. Everyone can see how different you were ever since they left. The Shelby’s reached out to you—but you didn’t like going to Watery Lane. You begged Polly to remove the Blinders that were supposed to watch you and she agreed after a while. It wasn’t the same without Tommy protecting you. You didn’t have the strength to face them, to go to their house and pretend like it was all okay. 
“Angel, I’ve missed you,” he sighed into your hair. “Did you miss me?”
“Of course, I do, Simon,” you told him. “How are you? It’s been a while since you last saw me. You don’t like me anymore?”
“You know that I could never forget about you, darling,” he said. “I have a gift for you,” 
“Really?” you asked, eyes hopeful. “What is it?”
Simon smiled, fishing a velvet jewellery box out of his pocket. He opens it and you gasp. A pair of sapphire earrings. 
“I have to start dressing you up when I take you to London,” he says. “You’ll wear it for me?”
“I’ll wear it,” you confirm. You fixed your hair up in a faux bun. “Will you put it on me, Simon?”
“Of course,” he says, doing what you asked. “I’m fixing everything for us,”
“For us?” you asked, brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I told you that I’ll show you the world, didn’t I?” he asked, grasping your jaw softly to make you look up at him. “I’m taking you away from this shit hole.”
“We’ll stay in Birmingham?” you asked, voice wavering. Fuck. What do you do now?
“No, we won’t,” he shook his head. “I have a mansion in London waiting for us. Why would I want to live here?”
“But…”
“But what? Are you not thankful that I’m showing the whole world? I thought I was your hero?” he asked, his hand over yours. 
“You are!” you said, inching closer. “You are. But I have friends here,”
“We can visit them,” he says dismissively. “Anytime you want. Or they can visit us, you know? Once you’re mine, you’ll have everything you want on your fingertips,”
“Why are you so nice to me?” you asked. 
“Because you’re my Angel. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. You make me want to take care of you,” he says. “I love you. You love me too, right?”
“Of course,” you lied. “Of course, I do.”
-
Polly and Ada liked to visit your house every now and then. They said that it makes them forget all about Watery Lane. Over the times you’ve spent here, the house was fully in bloom. You’d buy plants and some fresh flowers to keep in a vase. There was always a pot of water ready to be heated for tea. You hated your job but this freedom, your own house…it sometimes made everything worth it. 
“Shit, love. Your rich bastard must be buttering you up,” Polly says, helping herself on some tea. “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you wore those sapphire earrings. You like him?”
“No,” you shook your head. “He has some of his men guard me…I’m afraid that he’ll stop showing if I stop wearing these heavy earrings.”
“Waiting for…”
“It’s hard,” you said. “I don’t go to the brothel anymore. Simon forbade me to work there after he gave me this. He said he’s fixing up things in London.”
“Do you want to leave?” Ada asked, looking at you. 
“No,” you swallowed. “I’m thankful for…for being here. Not having to work anymore and just living comfortably but the price that I’m paying for it…”
You wanted to be there when Tommy comes back. You wanted to be the one to kiss him the first time you see him out of that train. But if you left…if you didn’t wait like you promised, what good would that be on the end of things? You wanted to see how life with Tommy plays out but what would you in the meantime? Where would you go?
“You have to choose what you’re willing to sell, then. You can’t live like this if you won’t string that rich bastard along. You won’t have to leave if you still work at the brothel.” Polly said. “Did you at least…think about it?”
“He said I could visit…or you could visit,” you replied, looking at anywhere but them. “But…but…I want to be here,”
“What if he doesn’t come back? This war…war changes people. Would you really toss your entire life away for a man in the war? I’m supposed to be on Tommy’s side, but I don’t want you missing out on life just because you're waiting for him,” Polly said. She’s always been practical, and she was…right. But you desperately wanted to see him before anything else. Still, Tommy and his brothers might never come back. If you turned down Simon’s proposal, you’ll be the town pariah. You could be wasting a good life away for Tommy Shelby. 
“Pol,” Ada hissed but her aunt only smoked her cigarettes. 
“All things end, darling. Maybe whatever you have with Tommy has run its course,” she exhaled, clouds of smoke entering your lungs, closing in on you. All things end. All things end.
-
LONDON, 1915
“I can’t believe I’m going to be married today,” you whispered. Your voice betrayed you, wavering slightly. “Fuck,”
“Hey, you can still stop the wedding,” Ada replied, stopping the work that she was doing on your veil. It was an expensive one, it cost more than your home in Birmingham. You never let that go, asking Ada to take care of it while you were gone. “We can run away,”
“I’m already here,” you nodded. “I want to…I want to see Tommy.” Your face was crestfallen, heart drumming in your chest because you never imagined your wedding to be like this. You were picking on your nailbeds again, nevermind the lacquer that coloured your nails. You were getting married in the most expensive place in London. Flowers hung from the ceiling; pearls lined your wedding dress. The sapphire earrings hung from your ears like albatrosses. The diamond ring on your finger demanded attention, a big rock on a silver band embedded with smaller diamonds. You never imagined being married like this. You always thought that you’d marry in the countryside, a nice flowy gown that you borrowed, wildflowers, and dancing. Not like this…surrounded by other businessmen, rich families who never gave a shit about you until you married Simon. 
“You’re getting married but you’re unhappy. This should be your day,” Ada said, ensuring that nothing was out of place. “You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen in my life.”
You smiled tightly. You should be thankful—ecstatic. You should be happy. So many girls dreamed of this. A fairytale wedding. The war was getting worse but not for you, not for Simon. In any case, Simon relished in the war, it brought him more money. You hated yourself for marrying him today when Tommy was most probably out there, fighting for his life.
Were you to blame for marrying Simon, though? It’s been a year and Tommy has never sent you a letter. All the letters you’ve sent were never replied to. It saddened you at first because his family would have something to look for, but you were left in the dust. You never brought that matter to light, maybe Tommy didn’t want to talk to you.
It hurts to be forgotten by the person you loved most. The only person who ever truly knew you. It hurt you to realise that for him, you were forgettable, replaceable. It’s like all the years you spent together were nothing. Maybe it was spite mixed with sadness and desperation that made you accept Simon’s proposal last year. Polly was right,—all things end.
Walking to the altar with Johnny to give you away was something else. Simon was kind enough to let the Shelby’s come to the wedding. He provided them with rooms to stay at a hotel. You should have been happy but the dryness in your mouth says otherwise. His family were there, judging you for being a prostitute; judging him for marrying someone so penniless. 
Simon’s smile was genuine, at least. He was waiting for you, a bundle of nerves. When you reach him, he thanks Polly. Taking your hand, he brings you to the ordainer and the wedding starts.
The reception of the wedding was in your new mansion in London. A real estate treasure with a little bit of plush green land. Your husband had a professional come in to decorate the garden—you never knew that a job like that existed. 
“This house is so big!” Finn said, after he ran to you. He was playing with the other kids. “You’d let me visit you?”
“Of course, Finn.” you said, a smile on your face. “But you have to be with Ada or Polly,”
“Okay,” he says, a toothy grin. “Maybe I can bring Tommy too when he comes back.”
“Yeah,” you nod. “Maybe…” Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Would he appear if you called him in front of a mirror thrice? You just wanted to see him.
Simon comes to you and Finn. 
“Hi, Finn,” he greets. “How are you?”
“Hi,” he says sheepishly, hiding behind your gown. “I’m good. Thanks for letting me come,”
“My wife really wanted you guys here and I really needed to see who’s the famous Finn Shelby,” he said. 
“I was telling Y/N about how my brother, Tommy and I can visit sometime,” he said. You visibly tense at the mention of Tommy, Simon notices. You’ve talked about Tommy before. Tommy Shelby…
That night, after consummating your marriage, Simon asked. 
“Who’s Tommy? I know who he is but what did he do?” Caressing your naked back, he pressed again. “Finn was telling me about his brother, and it made you uncomfortable.”
“He’s no one,” you lied, looking up at him through your lashes. “You shouldn’t worry about him,”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable…if he’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll have him dealt with.”
“No!” you cleared your throat. “You don’t have to, Simon. Thank you for caring,” you smiled, kissing his lips softly to forget about Tommy Shelby—the man who broke your heart. 
NEW YORK, 1915
You were staying in one of your husband’s properties in America, a penthouse in New York when he came barging in, throwing you an envelope. He was angry, you could tell that clearly. He never got angry except now. 
“Simon,” you said, smiling up at him.
“Who’s Tommy Shelby?” he asked, demanding you to answer. He knew who Tommy Shelby was. He knew of the Shelbys in Birmingham. But who was he to you? “Don’t even fucking lie to me,”
“What’s wrong…?” 
“Who is he?” he asked, his tone more forceful now. “Don’t tell me that he’s no one! Who is he?”
“He’s a friend. A childhood friend. What is this about?” you asked. “Simon…”
“You told me during our wedding night that he was no one but I had him investigated,” he said. You furrowed your brows. “Guess what? I found out that you grew up together. You were seeing him while I was seeing you. You told me you love me!”
“I do love you,” you lied, trying to soothe his worries. “You don’t have to worry about him, you know? We didn’t see each other like that, Simon,”
“Fuck…I gave you my everything and you hang onto this Tommy Shelby cunt. Like, like…I had to buy your love and you gave it to him,” he said, stalking towards you. “I gave you everything! What could he give? He’s poor and he’s in the war. I’m here. I am!” he roared. 
“Simon—“
“You are to cut off any ties and communications that you have with the Shelbys, understood?” he spat, pointing a finger at you. 
“Simon, they’re my friends! They took care of me,” you pleaded, putting your hands on his waist to appease him but she just shrugs you off. 
“I said ‘Understood’?” he seethed. “I gave the Shelby’s and Johnny a hefty sum of money so you won’t have to think of them ever again but you have to promise to never fucking think of them—of him—of-of your life in Birmingham. Do you understand me?”
“Simon, you—“
“I know where Tommy Shelby is in France. Tunnelling. You’ll know better than to defy me. Trust me, I have my ways of getting him and his brothers killed. I know people. Do you understand me?” he spits.
You couldn’t cry in front of him, so you just gulped, nodding. 
“I understand,” you whispered, a frown set upon your face. Relief washes over your husband and he pulls you closer.
“You know that I only want what’s best for you. What’s best for us,” he whispered. “You’re my little bird. My beautiful flower, I won’t let anyone else have you. Okay? I’m sorry for making you sad but this is for the best. For us and for the family that we’re going to build,” 
“I know, Simon,”
“I love you,” he says but it felt like a threat.
“I love you too,”
-
BIRMINGHAM, 1915
Tommy,
I hope you’re well. We all pray for your safe return home. Have I told you that Y/N got married this year in London? His name is Simon Coventry, I’m sure you know him as ‘Rich Bastard.’
He truly loves her and has taken care of her so well. We’ve been to their mansion in London multiple times. Finn loves to visit because he gets him everything he wants. Did you know that he gifted Finn his own horse for Christmas? Please, don’t worry about her anymore. She’s in safe hands, in a loving marriage, with a husband that could give her the world. 
Pol
(This letter was never sent.)
BIRMINGHAM, 1911
“What do you think will happen to us?” you asked Tommy once. Twenty-one, and you allowed yourself to make bad decisions when it came to him. You were sitting close together in the balcony of your home; it was the morning, and you had the day off because it was your birthday. No serving customers today; Tommy didn’t go to work because you were free. 
“We’ll stay together,” he says, like it was a no-brainer. He had stolen a bottle of whiskey in the place where he worked out and you both decided to drink today. Twenty-one and you’d make all bad decisions for Tommy. There was a crinkle in his eyes when he looked at you. “Happy birthday.”
“Thank you,” you replied, taking a sip of the whiskey.
“I got you something,” he says, tossing his cigarette butt away. “It’s not as…expensive as what that rich bastard got you, but I was thinking that…well, here,” he says, showing you something wrapped in a handkerchief. “Don’t know how to wrap gifts.”
You took it from him and undid the knot of the handkerchief. 
“Tommy…”
“I asked Polly and Ada,” he says. “So, that’s not all me.”
A picture frame of pressed flowers. It was more than that for him. For Tommy, it was a declaration of his love; a life-long commitment to you.
“I’ve been picking flowers that remind me of you for the past year,” he tells you. “Do you like it?”
“I love it, Tom.” you told him, tackling him in a hug. “This is the best thing anyone has ever given me. Thank you so much,”
LONDON, 1916
Simon hardly allowed you to go anywhere without him or at least the presence of a bodyguard since last year. It was understandable, since he was a wealthy man—the world was too dangerous for him. But you couldn’t grasp why you needed his permission to go to the shops, why you needed to ask him if you could do something. Your wardrobe was chosen by him and you hardly had any control over that. The jewellery he bought were things he thought would look the best on you too. 
You had to ask him for approval to meet your friends—if you had any. None of them really stayed longer than a year. It was fine, they were never him anyways. They all had ulterior motives when it came to seeking a friendship with you. They were all parties and dinners and events. One time, there was a party in his house. Some charity gathering that you couldn't care less about. You were outside in the garden when one of your employees walked by. You called him to where you were sitting. 
“Can you please get me some water?” you asked. “I don’t really want to go back there right now,” you said. You spent the whole night portraying the happy wife; the younger wife and you were sick of it. To them, you were Simon Coventry’s wife. To him, you were somebody he owned. To yourself, you were a prostitute. He basically bought you from that brothel anyway. You sat there silently, allowing yourself to shed the tears that you’ve been keeping. 
You were sobbing, trying to comfort your body from the loss of personhood that you’ve experienced. You were a glorified doll for Simon to look at—a pet to protect. He’s never treated you like an equal and you will never be.
Your hands were shaky, makeup staining your face. If only Simon could see you now. He’d lose it. You clutched the locket that Tommy gave you. You told Simon that you needed it, that it was a picture of your mother and that you didn’t want to forget what she looked like. It was shabby; he asked if you wanted a better one, but you declined. When Tommy gave you that locket, he helped you put a picture of your mother right beside his. You still needed to give it back to him. 
In the quietness of the garden, you remembered Polly’s advice before your wedding. She was helping you fit into the gown when she started to talk quietly. 
“Remember, this,” she started, zipping up your dress. “Take advantage of the world you’re in now. Even if you do not love him, take advantage of what he’s willing to give. Take advantage of everything.”
The employee comes back to you with a glass of water. 
“Thanks,” you whispered. “You may go now,”
-
Simon loved your newfound interest in participating in his business. He always sought you in the brothel for advice. It didn’t matter if you never studied, what mattered was that you were correct. They were small matters in his company. Like, you told him that maybe he wanted to increase the bond to a partnership. Or that he had to host charity events to make his company more appealing; ensure that it was widely publicised. 
You were perched on his lap, looking through the documents, while he played with your hair. He was kissing your shoulder as you flipped through the pages. 
“Some of my investments have been transferred to your account,” he says and you look at him, surprised. 
“Simon—?”
“You deserve it,” he says, continuing his kisses on your shoulder. “You’re my wife. You should have your own money,”
“But that’s…that’s too much,” 
“Just enough for you to go on those shopping sprees, if you ever wanted anything,” he says. 
“Why—“
“You’ve proven to me that I could trust you after our…disagreement about Tommy Shelby,” he declared. “I’m sorry for cutting you off from your friends in Birmingham, darling but I promise, that they’re being taken care of. Especially Johnny. He doesn’t work in the brothel anymore after I bought him his house in Watery Lane,”
“It’s okay,” relishing in the newfound power that you had over your husband. You turned to him, your knees on either side of his thighs. You straddled him and grasped his chin with your hands. “I know that you only want what’s best for me, right?” you preened, dropping your lips to nibble on his ear. “Tell me,”
He sighs, clutching your body closer to his as you trailed your lips down his neck. 
“You’re so good to me, baby,” he moans. “So, so good. I’ll give you everything.”
FRANCE, 1917
Tommy had been injured and was sent to the wards immediately. There was a gaping wound on his chest when one of the tunnel rats shot him. His comrades were quick enough to retaliate; to put him above ground and call for help. He was on the hard bed, wondering if it would be easier to just give up and let the world take him. 
“Y/N…” he mumbles, reaching for you. He could see you, see your arms beckoning him to come closer.”Y/N…where…Y/N…” 
He mumbles your name over and over for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn’t say anything else, pleading with anyone.
“Just fucking kill me!” he shouts. “Fucking kill me, please…” he sobs, body shaking from the emotions that dwell inside. “Y/N! Y/N! Fucking kill me!” In…in-in the bleak midwinter…Y/N. Y/N. 
AMERICA, 1917
“How is it being married to Simon?” one of the guests in some event asked. She was supposed to be the wife of a big oil conglomerate. Simon’s father invested in their business awhile back and had been business partners since. 
“He’s kind,” you said. He is…you just can’t love him like that. “It’s amazing being married to him,”
“I see,” she replied. “May I ask where you met again?”
“We met in Birmingham,” was your meek answer, looking for your husband. You hated events like these. The heir and his younger wife. You hated everything about it. Where is he?
“What family are you from?” she asked, oblivious to the fact. Everyone was oblivious to that fact. Simon made sure to never let anyone know that you were a prostitute. ‘For your safety’ he said and you understood. She said that she’ll never forgive you for tainting her wonderful son but Simon said that it was okay. You both didn’t need anyone else. 
“Sorry—do you happen to know where Simon is?” you asked, trying to change the topic. 
“Can’t stay away from him too long, huh? You must really love him,” she gushed. “I hope I’m the same with my husband but our union was basically something that was already agreed upon,”
“Yeah, I do,” you half-lied. You loved Simon as a friend, as a companion. He tries his best to understand. He’s loving and as far as you were aware, hadn’t kept any mistresses. That came with a price, though. Simon never liked it when a man looks at you too long. He doesn’t like seeing you with the opposite sex. He didn’t like you exchanging pleasantries with them. “He’s the best. He allows me to help him out in the business, you know?”
“You’re involved in his business?” she asked. 
“Small things,” you replied. “Arranging charity balls and the like,”
“Your governess must have been a good one,” she replied. 
“I suppose so.” You lied, knowing that you could never have been able to afford one. You were living day to day when you were a kid.
The girl only smiled tightly before walking away. You watched her talk to other girls. How beautiful it is to be included in a group! You’ve always felt like an outsider. This room was filled with billionaires and millionaires. This room made up most of the world’s economy and you were a prostitute. You were in the nicest clothes that money could afford but it still felt like the same, cheap lace that you used to wear. You turned to look for your husband but he was already wrapping his arm around your waist. 
“Simon,” you greeted, kissing his cheek. You were relieved to see him, somehow.
“Hello, darling. Do you wish to meet my friends?” he asked, kissing the side of your head affectionately. 
“Of course,” you nodded, seeing the girl you were talking to with her own husband now. Simon took you to them, never letting your waist go. 
“Simon!” the husband greeted, regarding you with a swift look before shaking your husband’s hand. “Is she the wife or a mistress?” he asked, and you frowned. 
“The wife,” Simon replied honestly. “Don’t have a mistress,” 
“What about that bird you were seeing in…Small Heath? Is it Small Heath?” he asked. 
“Haven’t been there since I got married,” he replied. It was true. “By the way, Eric, I do hope your wife watches what she talks about with her other…friends,” he said, and you tilted your head in confusion. The girl looks down in shame. 
“What do you mean?” Eric asked. “Surely, Natalia only wished to make an acquaintance. Is that right, Nat?”
“Yes, of course. Whatever Y/N was saying must be untrue,” she said, feigning innocence. 
“I see. I must have been delirious when I heard your wife call Y/N boring,” he shrugged. “Anyways, if I see or hear you disrespect my wife one more time, there will be repercussions. Seeing as you’re financially unwell, I would hate to take out my shares in your company. Isn’t that right?” 
“Of course, Simon,” Eric coughed, glaring at Natalia. “I apologise, Mrs. Coventry,”
You could only nod before Simon whisked you away. 
“Let’s go home. No one’s worth talking to in this shit hole anyway,”
-
When you got in the car, Simon was already all over you. He was tugging on your sleeves, kissing your neck. You were used to this; the driver was used to this. 
“Did I ever tell you that you looked absolutely ravishing in this dress?” he growled, fisting the silk fabric. “The things you do to me, pet,”
“I dressed up just for you,” you whimper. “Do you like it?” You may not love him but he was good. Maybe it’s because you’ve known each other for years…or maybe, you’re more comfortable but Simon was good at what he does. He puts your needs first. In any case, that’s how he likes it. This is what you’ve been doing for about two years. Giving everything that Simon ever wanted from you and taking double back from him. You were wealthy on your own now. If you divorced Simon, you’d never have to worry about life anymore. He had put trusts, investments, and properties in your name that he promised he’d never take away. It was sealed in a document. You were his closest kin. You own everything. 
Except your freedom. 
“Of course I do,” he confirms, rutting his hips on your exposed thigh. He groans at the contact. “Fuck, are we close?” he asked the driver. 
“Twenty minutes, sir,” he replied. 
“I’ll triple your salary for the month if you could take us there in ten,” he proposes and the driver speeds up, never minding the laws of the road. 
LONDON, 1918
The war has ended and you were close to collapsing. There could only be two things—the brothers made it or they did not. You didn’t have any form of communication with them and you were nervous. What if they didn’t make it?
BIRMINGHAM, 1918
The boys were deployed in Birmingham. Cramped in vehicles, Tommy held the strap of his satchel tightly. He was anxious to see his family. He was so anxious to see you. He never received letters from you even though he wrote every week. He was too afraid that he'd turn his back on his country to come to you but he didn’t care. What kind of man would that make of him? 
There were a million things that he wanted to tell you—how he left without ever telling you that he loved you. How your face was the only thing that kept him alive in those tunnels. Would you still love him now that he’s not the same? Would you still soothe him until he falls asleep?
His brothers could see his nervousness. So, Arthur offered him a tight smile. John was looking forward to seeing his kids again. 
“She’ll be there, Tom,” Arthur offered. “If anyone’s going to be there, it’s her,”
“Yeah, of course,” Tommy replied. They were nearing Birmingham. They were nearing the place you both grew up in and he felt bad because he should have been thinking about his family but instead, he was thinking about you. The vehicle stops and he takes a deep breath. Will he see you? Will you run to him and finally kiss him like he’s been thinking of for four years? He braced himself as soldiers spilled out into the road. He could see Polly and Charlie with Finn on his shoulders. He smiled, telling his brothers that he saw everyone.
“You boys are back!” Polly gushed, taking the three of them in an embrace. She blinks away the tears. Tommy was searching the crowd for you and Polly could see that. “She couldn’t make it, Tom. She’s in London,”
His heart drops. Why would you miss this reunion? Why were you in London? He nodded wordlessly, keeping to himself while John answered all of the questions. The day after that, he went to your house but saw that nobody was there. He went to the brothel but there were new girls who didn't know who you were. Johnny wasn’t there either. 
He went there every day for less than two weeks until one day, he saw a scrap of newspaper sitting in the kitchen. 
SIMON AND Y/N COVENTRY PURCHASE NEW HOME IN PARIS AFTER THE WAR. 
He furrowed his brows, turning the pages until sure enough, there you were. It was a portrait of you and Simon. He barged into Polly’s room, opening the drawer where she kept memorabilia. There were multiple pictures of you and your wedding with Simon. There was a picture of you and the whole Shelby clan along with Johnny. There was an envelope with a cheque worth a few thousand pounds from Simon. He shook, his heart beating loudly as he let go of everything. You were married. You married Simon Coventry. You didn't wait for him. 
“Tommy,” Ada whispers from the door, seeing her older brother crouch in defeat. 
“When were you planning to tell me?” he spat. “When?”
“Tommy, we didn’t know how to tell you—“
“Tell me when the fuck were you planning to tell me, Ada or I swear, I will blow this fucking house down,” he threatened, running his fingers through his hair. It’s not the same when you do it. Ada walked towards her brother, seeing her brother so defeated was something new.
“I…” his voice breaks into a sob. “I was under the tunnels and all I could ever think—all I could—I’m smoking fucking opium because I’m so fucking worried and she’s—she’s,” Tommy couldn’t breathe, hyperventilating. “She’s gone, she’s gone…”
There was a ringing in his ears, and he couldn’t hear Ada call for help. He was panicking, tears flowing freely from his eyes. He waited for you. He counted the days until he saw you again, but you were not here. He felt like he was underground again. It was Arthur who calmed him down, slapping Tommy across the face to wake him up. It works, it always works.
“Leave us,” Polly ordered everyone. “Drink some water, Tommy, we have to talk,” 
“Pol—“
“Leave us,”
“Polly, it’s not right!” Ada said. “I should’ve listened to her when she told me she didn’t want it,”
“He has to know, Ada. I’ll tell him now,”
“It’s alright, Ada,” he croaked. “Leave us,” His brother dragged his furious sister away. He was embarrassed to have been seen like that—weak. But what else could he do? He crossed the vastness of a sea of fire just to go home to you. Polly sighed. 
“It’s my fault,” she said once everyone was out. He exhales, a staggered breath as if he’s been carrying all the weight of love that he has for you. 
“It’s all I ever wanted, Pol,” he said, looking down on his lap. A life with you in your home. There’d be a big garden for you to run on. You’ll have so many horses and you'll teach your kids how to ride them. “You know that it’s all I ever wanted,”
“I know, Tom but you can’t blame her,” she said. “She didn’t want to leave and I saw that but what else could she be if she didn’t leave Birmingham? I prayed for your safety everyday, I did. But…but what if you didn’t come back? Would she work at that brothel until she fades? There was an opportunity for her to have a better life outside of Birmingham. I told her to take advantage of it,” she explained, trying to reach Tommy but he flinched away. Polly puts down her hand, clearing her throat.
“She’s all I ever wanted, Polly and you took that from me. You took her-you took her away from me!” he sobbed, cradling his head in his hands. “You took her away. You took her away…”
“She sent you letters while you were away,” Polly said, placing a stack of envelopes beside Tommy. “I’m sorry, Tom but I wanted her to have a good life. Birmingham isn't good for her. You were only going to keep her from making a name for herself,”
Polly nodded to herself before leaving Tommy and a stack of letters that he never received. 
He opens the one on top just to check—just today. 
Dear Tommy,
Every day passes by without you and I still can’t bear it. I hope you’re well, I hope my letters become a sense of comfort for you. 
It’s getting harder for me to spend time with your family. All I could think about was how the two of us would run freely in Polly’s house because you were chasing after me. I couldn’t spend time at home either because my bed reminds me of how much I liked sleeping beside you. It’s so peaceful. I sleep in your clothes sometimes and Ada gave me some of the shirts that you left. I’ll return them to you when you’re back but right now, it’s the only way for me to feel like I could breathe…that someday, you’ll come back to me. I’ll wait. I’ll always wait for you, like I promised. 
I haven’t told you everything yet, but I hope I can tell you soon. 
Tommy opens another one. What’s another stab to the heart anyway?
Dear Tommy,
It’s been years and you haven't written back. Are you mad at me? I’ll stop writing to you for the meantime but just know that I’ll wait for you.
-
LONDON, 1919
Dearest, 
I’m so sorry to tell you but Johnny has died. Please come to Birmingham soon. 
The letter from Johnny’s wife shook in your hands. Big Johnny was dead, and you had to go to Birmingham to the funeral. You ran to your husband’s office. Upon seeing your tear-stained face, his face falls in concern. 
“What the matter, love? Did someone hurt you?” he asked, patting his lap, telling you to sit on it. You complied, hiccuping. You were heartbroken but you knew that if you wanted to go, you had to play smart. You had to play the broken doll that he loved to take care of. 
“Johnny’s dead,” you whispered, burying your face in his chest. You allowed him the privilege to soothe you. His hand inching their way underneath your shirt for unbridled contact. “Johnny’s dead, Simon,” you cried. “I—I got this…letter,” you said, showing him the crumpled piece of paper on your hand. He had to fire whoever gave you this letter—it was a strict rule that he was supposed to read all the letters sent to you. It was a rule that no letter from Birmingham must arrive in your hands. 
“Oh, darling,” he said, kissing your temple. 
“I know…I know that I can’t go,” you said. “But…can I please go, Simon?” you asked. “He was like my father,” you whispered. It was true and Simon knew that. Johnny took care of you to the best of his abilities. You told Simon of the stories when you were younger. Him teaching you arithmetic, teaching you how to throw a punch to defend yourself…he helped you move into the house you bought. You’ve never been there for years, and you wondered if Ada continued to take care of it after abandoning them. “I understand if you won’t allow me,” you nodded, removing yourself away from him but he held you closer. 
“You can go,” he whispered. He’d have you guarded so that no one could even come to you. No Tommy Shelby. “Do you want me to come?”
“No,” you shook your head, regaining your composure. “I know that the partnership with Alfie Solomons will require your full attention. Do you promise to be home once I arrive? I need you,” You stilled on his chest.
You didn’t know what a lie was anymore. 
“Of course, I’ll be here,” he said. 
“I can take some of the guards with me for my safety,” you compromised. You weren’t lying, though. The business he had with Alfie Solomons kind of scared you. What if he sent men to take you as ransom?
“Of course,” he said. “Where will you stay? Are there hotels there?”
“I can stay at my old home.” you said. “We can send in some cleaners before I arrive to make it nice,” 
“Alright, darling. Are you leaving tomorrow? I’ll send some people now. Will that be okay with you?” he asked. You looked up to him, doe-eyed. 
“Yes,” you replied. “Thank you, Simon. I love you,” you said, kissing his cheek. “Thank you.”
BIRMINGHAM, 1919
The Blinders mentioned to Arthur that the old house that Ada takes care of had the lights on. There were multiple servants coming in and out of the run-down house and they asked who was coming. It was the owner of the house. That could only mean…
“Tommy!” Arthur called, nodding at Harry before barging in the special room at the Garrison. “Stop fucking the barmaid and listen to me, mate,”
Grace looks at him sheepishly before excusing herself. 
“Fuck, what is it Arthur?” Tommy asked, lighting a cigarette. 
“Y/N’s coming back,” he said. Tommy halts, looking at Arthur. 
“Arthur—“
“The Blinders saw the lights at her old house open with a fuck ton of servants cleaning up. They asked…told her that the owner of the house is coming back to go to a fucking funeral,” Arthur explained. “She’s coming back, mate. Your Y/N’s coming back.”
Tommy leans on the couch, running a hand through his face. He wordlessly leaves Arthur, not sparing a glance to Grace, before leaving the Garrison entirely. It was midnight, you could be home soon. In the shadows, Tommy waited, his peaky cap making him incognito. 
He waited the whole night, smoking his cigarette and looking at the spot where your house could be seen clearly. At around six in the morning, he sees a convoy of high end cars line up. A black Bentley stopped right in front of the house and there you were. Tommy’s breath is knocked out of his lungs. You were dressed in something simple and comfortable for your travel but you’ve never looked so ethereal. The driver gives you his hand to help you and you smile at him. Looking around the place, peace settles in your features. 
He doesn’t realise it but his face relaxes too. It’s like he hasn’t breathed in all the years he spent without you. He gulps, not allowing himself to cry. He’s stronger now and he couldn’t let his emotions get the better of him. 
He looked on, noticing that Simon Coventry was not with you. It was then he realised that guards dressed formally surrounded your house. It didn’t matter to him. Fuck your husband’s security system. He’ll make a way. Just because there was a change of plans doesn’t mean that you can begin again. He doesn’t care.
You were here. You were finally home, and he wonders if the frame he gave you on your 21st birthday was still there.
PART 3
A/N: Grace will not be romantically involved with Tommy in the story for obvious reasons. There will be mentions of her but they will be minimal. Thank you so much for reading and for giving my story love and support. I hope to see you in the next one!
BTW, we need a face for Simon. Who do you think will be a perfect Simon?
Don’t forget to reblog / leave a comment if you liked it! TAGLIST:  @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius​ @trixie23​ @everythingelseisextra​ @majesticcmey @liveat1am @dumb-wh @denabp16 @yvonna-chan @goldensunflowe-r @therosabel @hunnibearrr @dazecrea @daddyslittleattentionwhore @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @dang-shawty-okay
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penwieldingdreamer · 7 months ago
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A Shot in the Dark ~ Prologue
Well, welcome to my latest obsession - FBI and OA Zidan. This is a crossover between FBI, FBI: Most Wanted & Blue Bloods. Let me know what you think and if you'd like to be tagged in any future chapters.
I do not own any of the characters of the FBI Franchise and Blue Bloods, they belong to their respective owners
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Summary It's said, you'll always meet twice in life. But you never thought it be in a hostage situation with a gun pressed against your head.
Warnings: hostage situation, canon typical violence, coarse language, smut in later chapters
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The human mind is really the scariest thing of all.
Life in general is scary, and yet you step out of your home each day and face it. You imagine how a situation might turn out if you just changed one thing in your day to day life. Sometimes it’s the sandwich they didn’t have at the bakery and sometimes it’s the choice you make on the job.
“Andrew, drop the gun and let my sister go!” Detective Danny Reagan called, his own weapon trained on the former NYPD officer, voice shaking as he looked at you, seeing his own fear mirrored in your eyes. “She’s got nothing to do with this. You want me. Let the kids and her go.”
Shaking his head, former police officer Andrew O'Sullivan pushed the muzzle of his gun harder against your temple. "They are all the leverage I need to get you to do what I want."
"O'Sullivan! This is Agent Scott and Agent Bell with the FBI. Surrender your weapons and let the hostages go. We will make sure that your demands are met, but you need to let the kids and Miss Reagan go."
You could feel the tears running down your cheeks, but you knew you had to be strong for the children. Their parents put you in charge and you, as their teacher, needed to make sure they'd get out safe. “Please Mister O’Sullivan, you got me, let the children go home. They don’t have anything to do with this.”
Your heart was hammering in your throat watching your brother desperately trying to get Andrew to drop the weapon, the ground feeling like it was going to be pulled from underneath you. And here you thought it was going to be a good day today.
Five hours earlier, 9:15 Bluestone Lane Tribeca Café
"So, heard anything from tall, dark and handsome? You looked cute together."  
“Erin!”
“Mom! You’re embarrassing her.”
The lawyer grinned into her coffee mug as the three of you sat together for breakfast. "What!? I saw pictures from way back when. It's been more than four years now, just thought maybe you'd have a run in with him again."
"Nope, haven't seen him since before he started training at Quantico and you would know that. I'm practically living with dad and pop again after those idiots living above me wouldn't have smoked weed and forgot to shut off the water."
Nicky only rolled her eyes at her mother trying to play matchmaker – as always. “You should leave Y/N alone. Danny would have a field day if she came home with him.”
“Thank you, Nicky, I knew why you were my favorite niece.” You took a bite from your chocolate croissant. Usually you’d be getting the breakfast sandwich the café was famous for but today they were all out.
“I’m your only niece, so that’s not a hard feat to do.”
“Yet.” You pointed a finger at the younger woman. “And I don’t even know where he is. I’ll not be running after him and use dads resources to find him.”
“All I’m saying is that you should get laid, you can’t just stay a single workaholic forever." 
Sending your sister a disapproving look, you could see the disgust on your nieces face. She was old enough to be part of that conversation and already had one boyfriend, yet you knew she was absolutely embarrassed by her mother's choice of breakfast conversation.
"Mom! God! I'll be heading off to work or you'll start talking about dad and yourself." Nicky, so much like Erin grabbed her purse and to-go cup, leaned over to kiss her mother's cheek before she moved next to you. With her arm draped over your shoulder, she leaned in as if to whisper into your ear but still spoke at normal volume. "Don't let her bully you into looking him up. You do you, Auntie, but she's right, you need to get laid."
Slack jawed at her gall, you turned accusatory eyes on the lawyer. "That's definitely on you, Erin. You taught her to be like that."
"Well, she's definitely got that from me and she'd make a great lawyer like that."
Letting out a sigh, you leaned back in your chair.
Damn, they were right.
Quickly apologizing to God under your breath, you try to anchor yourself to your mug. It had been years since you had seen Omar. You had met him outside a bar in the Financial District, after a date had dumped her right before dessert, telling her she wasn’t worth his time.
“He’s a dick, he wasn’t going to know what to do with you anyway.”
You sat together at the bar and talked about random stuff – friends, hobbies, only things that wouldn’t compromise him as you later found out he was undercover for the DEA.
“You’re quiet, what are you thinking about?”
Blinking, you watched your sister with a small, wistful smile, something she had seen so often when you had gone out to have breakfast with Nicky and her every Saturday morning. “Nothing.” You shrugged your shoulders, but the secret smile that barely turned up the corners of your mouth was still there and the lawyer knew that one, she had seen it often enough.
Erin took a sip from her coffee, narrowing her eyes at you. “Don’t give me that shit, Y/N. It’s Tall, Dark and Handsome isn’t it?”
“Maybe.” You admitted quietly, looking down at your fingers, busy playing with the white napkin under your croissant.
“You should get Eddie to look for him, maybe he’s in town.”
Shaking your head vigorously. “No, I’ll not be looking for him. We would have seen each other, probably...maybe.”
“New York is huge, you think you’d just walk down Broadway and bam! There he is? Y/N, I can assure you, that’s not how it works.” She laughs, knowing all about it with her ex-husband Jack. “You want him, you need to look for him, he’s not just going to turn up if you snap your fingers.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to look for him, maybe it wasn’t meant to be if I haven’t run into him by now. Or maybe he’s somewhere in D.C., happily married with 1.93 kids, living in the suburbs and chasing the bad guys.”
Chuckling, the lawyer shook her head at you. “You got it all figured out now, huh? Maybe he’s still single, thinking about that maybe with you. He was really nice when he came around for lunch that day.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me, Eddie wouldn’t shut up about him for a week straight.” Just then your phone chimed, letting you know that you needed to get ready to get to your Junior High class for their field trip to the museum. You would meet them together with their parents right in front of the museum. “Shit, I’m late! Sorry Erin, I got to head off.”
“We’re not done talking about him!” She called after you as you raced out of the cafe to the next Metro station.
An hour and a half later you remind your seventh grade students to be nice and listen closely to the lady showing you around the National History Museum. “There’s going to be a test on Monday next week, so you guys should take notes on all of this.”
A groan ripped through the hall and I knew they hated me for this. “But Miss Reagan, you said we could have fun today.” Jimmy calls from the back, a frown on his cute face. 
Giggling, you shook your head. They were still thinking it was just going to stay easier from there on out. “I did, but it doesn’t mean you guys can slack off on your school work. This is going to help you with your Science project.”
Groans, followed by sighs from your students were the end of that conversation. You and the group of thirteen-year-olds followed Mrs. Langdon as she talked about the museum, which exhibitions had already been part of the building and what was waiting for the boys and girls of Lower Manhattan Middle School. They were in the Early Adolescence stage and it was absolutely normal for them to act like that. With Nicky, Jack and Sean you had been exposed to that stage early on and you loved them for it.
You entered the Saurichian Hall of the museum, awed by the skeletons, the hairs on your arms starting to raise from the goosebumps at the imagination of having lived back in time, 66 millennia’s ago. But somehow, it wasn’t the only thing that gave you the shivers. At the entrance of the museum you had seen a guy, dressed like everyone else. But you had been around police your whole life and listened to your bothers to know that something was definitely wrong with him. His head was down but you saw his eyes darting about like he was searching for something – or someone.
Getting to the next section, you slightly turned your head away from your students excitingly listening to the tales of each dinosaur exhibited at the museum.
There he was again, the backpack slung low on his shoulders and it looked like he was sweating. Was he sick and needed help? If so, wouldn’t he have asked the people at the front desk or even stayed at home.
Danny had always told you to be vigilant about suspicious people roaming about and this guy fit the description. Should you text Danny or Jamie? They were probably busy with their cases and if he was just a creep you’d make a fool out of yourself and maybe your dad in extension.
Police Commissioner’s daughter accuses visitor at the National History Museum to be a creep and makes a laughing stock out of the Reagan family.
Now that would be the headline of the week.
Turning back to listen to Mrs. Langdon and your students with a sigh you missed him pulling out a gun from under his jacket, pointing it at your back before slightly lifting it up and pulling the trigger.
11:40, Joint Operations Center
“Alright guys, we've got a hostage situation at the National History Museum. Twenty-two students from LoMa Middle School and their teacher. This is high profile. Detective Reagan with the NYPD called it in about fifteen minutes ago.” ASAC Jubal Valentine’s voice rang out through the JOC. He motioned to Elise, one of the Analysts to put every information on the screens. “This is Y/N Reagan, she’s a teacher at the school and also the daughter of New York City Police Commissioner Frank Reagan.”
Your picture popped up on the screens, a happy smile on your face as you sat together with your father and your brother Jamie at a city function.
“You know, now that I’m done with my trainee-ship as teacher, we could make it official. Dad wants me to tag along at this function or other and I’d like to take you as my plus one.” You smiled at him, your arms slung around his neck as you lounged together on his bed.
Omar ran his fingers from your shoulder to your elbow and up again. He loved the feeling of your soft skin under his hands, slightly roughed from the army. “It would be nice, I’d love to finally show you off to my family as well. Erin has been nagging me like a hen to know who the guy is making me smile all day.” He smiled, nuzzling her neck and listening to her giggles as his nose and beard rubbed up and down against that point where her neck met her shoulder.
"I'd like that. I bet your sister isn't the only one nagging." He chuckled, burrowing closer and pushing his lower half against yours earning a soft groan from you.
Your fingers raked over his head, feeling the short cropped hair tickle the palm of your hands. “Pop and dad are already giving me those penetrative looks, you know the ones where they are acting like cops and trying to read a suspects thoughts.”
Closing his eyes, the former army ranger breathed in your scent. It was the one thing that grounded him on days his mind sent him back to Iraq. “From what you told me I’m more afraid of your brother, not your father and grandpa.”
Omar moved next to Maggie, a soft Shit leaving his lips as his eyes swept over the screens. It had been a few years since he’d last seen you, only a few days short of leaving for his training at Quantico. Seeing your face, tear track staining your cheeks with the suspect pressing his gun to your head.
The brunette watched her partner, the fingers of his left hand anxiously playing with his ring. A sign that he was nervous. A sign Maggie had learned in the beginning when they first were partnered up.
“You know her?”
He sighed, “We, ugh, we dated for a while before, before I went into training. I...broke it off, because I thought she’d be better off without me.”
“Gosh, OA.” Maggie murmured, scratching a fingernail along her eyebrow thoughtfully. She knew her partner had been in relationships before – he was Muslim, not a virginal saint, but she had never seen him this distraught or anxious. 
It was clear as day that you were still important to him and it took everything in him to not run out the door and drive off toward the museum.
"What do we have on the suspect?" Isobel questioned, coming to stand next to her 2nd in charge. 
"Suspect is 40 year old Andrew O'Sullivan, former police officer with the NYPD, 54th Precinct and bomb specialist with the Marines. Detective Daniel Reagan, Y/N’s older brother was part of the investigation against him.” Kelly Moran, an analyst at the JOC spoke up, tapping hastily on his keyboard and sending the pictures of their suspect to the bigger screens. “He took drugs from evidence and tried to sell it on the street. O’Sullivan needed it for his daughter, she has leukemia and he was going to take the money to pay for her treatments.”
The analyst pressed a key to show the picture of a little girl, maybe ten years old, grinning at the camera. “Lena O’Sullivan, she”
“His daughter died two days ago, that’s why he’s doing it. He wanted to save her from it and we took the money that would pay for her treatment. Andrew has been angry with me for a while and called me after Lena died.” A new voice sounded from behind them, strong and authoritative, yet they could all hear the pain laced into his words. “He has my sister and if you guys don’t get a move on, Andrew is going to kill them all.” Detective Daniel Reagan had made his way to the JOC, knowing he couldn’t make a move against O’Sullivan without the people of the FBI. You were his little sister and he’d be damned just sitting around at the precinct when he needed to get you to safety. More so when Erin would have his head for being the reason the former officer had you and your kids as hostages.
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bonny-kookoo · 9 months ago
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bonnyyyyy +1 chance!couple were so cute omg does kook win in the tournament? i feel like he'll immediately take oc out on a date to celebrate if he does, gotta flaunt his feathers while he has the chance cuz she also plays the same game
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"I'm sorry it's just in the hotel room-" Jungkook fumbles with his words as he lets you inside, hair having just dried from the quick shower he took after his tournament.
He'd won, and he'd expected that, honestly- he'd been well prepared after all, and his teammates were just as good at the game, leading to a relatively easy win. Still, he knows this game will stay in his mind as the hardest he's ever fought- because he'd been sweating buckets, knowing you're somewhere in the crowd, watching him play.
That's one of the main reasons he had to shower before meeting up with you. God knows his shirt was soaking afterwards.
"No problem- you know I could've waited too, it didn't.. have to be today." You reassure him, but he shakes his head, and leads you to the small table in his rather spacious hotel room, windows to the balcony opened, fluttering the see-through curtains a bit.
"No, I wanted to see you right away." He says, and it's clear from the way he licks his lips and plays with his piercings that he's nervous. "Do you..- the menu is on the table there, for room service I mean. We can order something and chat if you like." He offers, and you nod, taking the menu for yourself to read through it.
God, you became even prettier over the years, he realizes. He himself has been trying to take good care of himself, but the constant attack of the blue light from the screens and his honestly surprisingly stressful life sometimes does take a toll on him- his skin currently not the best, and it's making him nervous.
If you both do end up liking each other, and wanting more, will you be able to handle it all? The constant flying around, the constant practice, the hours and hours and hours he has to spend trying to perfect what he already can do- can you handle that? His cranky attitude whenever he fails? His sometimes snappy answers whenever he's irritated about failing at a basic mechanic ingame? His obsession with perfection?
He's not an easy guy. Relationships have constantly failed because of this tricky cocktail of his job and his personality.
"You almost lost the lane, in the first half." You suddenly chirp up, watching him walk towards the table now, sitting down across from you. "They really had you in a chokehold for a little." You giggle, and he nods, smiling to himself.
"They did." He answers.
"But you really gained a lot of momentum during the endgame." You say, resting your cheek in your palm, elbow on the table. "They had no chance."
"I'll take that as a compliment." He chuckles, realizing that you really do seem to know the game quite well, with the way you speak of his performance. It makes him a little giddy.
His past girlfriends didn't game very much. Or if at all, all just very laid back simulation games. Maybe your shared interest could help you both connect better?
"It definitely is." You giggle. "I might pick up some of your odd item choices to make my own games better." You tease, and he dramatically gasps at that, taking the room service menu from you to look at it himself.
"Excuse me, my choices aren't odd. They're very much calculated." He shakes his head playfully, before he looks at you again. "What do you eat?" He wonders, and you pull down the menu he's still holding, to lean closer and tap on the things you want. But when you look up, you realize he's not looking at where you're pointing at all- but instead, his eyes are entirely glued to you, being just a little closer to him than before.
"You're not even looking." You accuse him, but he instead licks his lips, and leans back, trying to appear confident.
"Well, that's a tough thing to do when you're in my face like that." He tells you. "Can't help but look at you instead."
"Huh, I'll lean back and give you space then." You say, suddenly laughing to yourself when you realize that despite all this time having passed, you both really just fell right back into place, as if your friendship never really ended at all. You just feel so comfortable with him despite his physical appearance having clearly matured and changed, it's a little odd.
"What're you laughing about?" He wonders, visibly happy however that you're happy, no matter why.
"Nothing." You shrug. "Just.. Happy. To have run into you again, I mean." You admit, and he grins at that.
"I.. yeah, I feel the same." He nods.
"Do you think.. we could be friends again?" You wonder, and he shrugs.
"I'm not sure." He tells you, taking in a deep breath before he shoots his shot. "What.. if I want to be more?" He suggests, and you look at him for a moment, before you lean back into your seat, tilting your head to the side in thought.
"I guess..." You say, before your eyes meet his again. "You think we could work out as a team?" You wonder-
and he instantly gets what you're trying to say, bright grin spreading on his face, as his heart beats faster than ever before.
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