#really cant think today but my head is full and also im trying to not be mad about atsv fandom miguel so. gabe it is!

[baselicoc]

it’s really interesting to me that Gabriel checks in on his brother so much despite how Miguel can often act and that he is in-text called insecure and that he follows along with his various girlfriends interests and that he so often wears so many layers and that he has a cyberspace addiction and that his archetype in cyberspace is just himself (which could be the comic just making it easier for us to know who’s who, but what a boring way to take it). And how willing he is to fight and do good but also ‘neither of my sons were ever worth much in a fight’ and how he asks for help but also ‘i can take care of myself’. do you get me.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[guinevereslancelot]

currently hating and killing myself for leaving work early even tho i literally threw up within a minute of walking in the door when i got home

[pac1fythehunger]

okay i'm. taking this as my sign to post this here. i'm a little obsessed with ultrakill, ESPECIALLY 7-4, ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY the song, and i had to put it into coherent words so i could stop tormenting people by constantly talking to them about it.

this is a comment i left under War Without Reason, so i guess it's propaganda for that. (i didn't include timestamps in the comment originally, but i will for listening along here.)

It's kind of long, you have been warned

(I'm terribly sorry for writing so much about this song. The moment it started when I first played 7-4, I was instantly obsessed. I'm not sure if this will take over Deep Blue's spot as my personal absolute favourite track, but it instantly flung itself above all the other songs I hold dear. The entire soundtrack is of course wonderful, but at some point with music, it all gives way to personal bias.

I hope I don't sound too pretentious. I'm not very knowledgeable about music. All I can do is kind of, try to give my stream of consciousness when listening to this song in regards to where we are in the level. I can not stress enough how much I love ULTRAKILL.)

With the new terminal entries stating how each machine was made to counter the last, and the v2 entry telling us that v1 and v2 were prototypes that never saw full production, v1 is quite literally the latest, greatest effort in the increasing escalation of the war effort. No wonder we shred through hell like we do.

(0:00) i am.. probably reading too much into it, but the abrupt start of the song, only drums and that singular note, to me feels like v1's own warning system going off. This is what it was made for, initially- to counter Earthmovers- so its blood is pumping, so to speak.

(0:16) Then, the bass being added in and the noise wavering a bit, as the Earthmovers attention leaves us to duel the one in the distance. The adrenaline is still going, but v1 is orienting itself. It will take this thing down, nothing will stand in its way.

(1:04) We're reaching the main body- built by humans, now long gone.

(1:36) The music becomes reminiscent of Requiem(the theme for 2-2), the only other environment we experience in the game where people, at one point, lived (relatively) peacefully.

(2:08) The music becomes even more somber as we move further up, away from the industrial environments and to the houses, the city on the Earthmovers back. The full scale of the tragedy that humanity has brought upon itself, made to experience in the form of music.

(Is this how v1 processes things, perhaps? Is it a link with the terminals, is this how they ping information to you? Am I reading too much into some banging video game music? Definitely!!! Let's continue, I'm absolutely insane about this song.)

(2:40) Defense system! In order to power this entire thing, the atmosphere anywhere near the entrance to the core must be SO incredibly volatile and oppressive. It's like you can feel the electrical current in the song. But the people had nowhere else left to live.

(3:44) That's taken care of. Focus for a moment. Block off all sound.

(4:00) Can you imagine how loud the siren inside the Earthmover must be? In order to be heard across the entirety of its body in case of critical failure? You're STANDING IN ITS CORE. No wonder it dominates your entire perception of this thing, and everything syncs up to it.

(4:32) Okay. Focus. We're going to the very, VERY, center of this thing. Were taking it out. Let the siren fade out, it's irrelevant information.

(4:48) Huh. This is all that keeps it alive? It's barely bigger than its defense system. There's no sympathy for any humans who mightve been here- the ones who chose to build this, not the ones who were forced to live on the Earthmover because the rest of the world became inhospitable. Noone looked upon this thing with fondness, with love. This is a pure horror of war. Instead of the haunting voices from Defense System's theme, it's. Beeping? This is just a machine. And we are one step up from it. We're made to kill it, and we will.

(5:20) It's over. No further thought needs to be spent on it (*note the way it transitions instantly! The sinister, sadistic undertones of the previous theme of the 'brain' fight stopping instantly. Reality rushing back in- stop taking too much pleasure in killing. Focus on surviving again). That's all that counts. The siren is becoming louder, almost impossibly so; Critical failure, now. This is the priority. Leave.

(5:36) Then we descend, trapped in this gigantic, writhing corpse until we fight our way out, everything we just went through playing back in our head like a human's mind might while it is sleeping, dreaming, parsing all the information from the day. But we are more advanced than that. It all plays back as soon as it happened, routines being refined for future reference, perfecting our behaviour. Why is the human suffering looping, and reaching new heights as it does so? This isn't relevant information. Nothing's left of humanity. Hell has already taken note of humanity's potential for cruelty, and taken a leaf out of its book (see: Mannequins). It will experience the full scale of it.

This is the beginning of the end.

It's dead.

TL;DR where v2???????????????

all of the songs can be found on hakita's youtube channel if you want to listen to them before making your choice :3

[mynqzo]

my insane batshit gritty semi-realistic sapphic reimagining of barbie and the three musketeers

okay so many people were confused on if that last drawing of mine was just an oc named barbie or whatever but im here to tell you no! its my insane reimagining of the corinne in the movie barbie and the three musketeers, but sapphic and insane. so today I’m going to dump on you my insane reimagining of barbie and the three musketeers in a semi realistic gritty setting where they’re all sapphic and when they become musketeers they instead work to overthrow the monarchy. this is not a joke I've been thinking about this for months. like i will take alexandre dumas legacy and make it so gay and barbie.

okay so first things I thought of were weapons and such and what they could be replaced with in this setting cause most of the characters have things like ribbons and fans as weapons (and while that's so slay and I love that/never want that to change in the movie, I wanna make it semi-realistic in this gritty reimagining). so corinne’s weapon in the movie is a rapier so we’re keeping that. viveca has those two long ribbons (I’m sure they have a name but I forgot them sobs) and I think in my head she would have a two whips instead, whip dual wielder ohooo. renée has a slingshot (honestly so lame of the movie to give her that) and in my head she has a musket or pistol. aramina has two fans and I think replacing those with daggers would be really swag. and just to be clear all the characters in this version are aged up to be in their late twenties to early thirties.

for corinne, the story will follow the traditional ‘the three musketeers’ storyline but instead corinne is actively held back by her mother from going to paris and becoming a musketeer because her mother believes she’ll fall into the same fate as her father did and die. so she instead sneaks out because she feels like if she became a successful musketeer she could establish a comfortable life for her mother. in my head she's kind of like a cocky playboy kinda character where she's a little full of herself but has a lot of drive to find out what happened to her father and how he came to pass but also to succeed so she can take care of her mother better. like she's essentially the person who would ask you to fence shirtless because she wants to prove that she doesn't need armour.

for aramina I feel like her concept of a hopeless romantic can be made more complex if added with religious calling like for aramis in the original three musketeers. like she has a deeply religious upbringing but she cant stop falling in love with people and getting into trouble about it and it especially shows when she meets corinne and the others and; you guessed it, falls in love with them too. a nice mix of guilt and romance. she could have been a faithful follower of the church and been a nun but fell in love with one of the nuns and was caught and therefore shunned and punished, but she kept doing it again and again and her behavior became too obnoxious for the church to allow so they kicked her out, and she’s still plagued by this guilt while also wanting to follow her heart. she essentially ended up as a maid because her church rejected her and her family refused to take her back in on account of her sinning (rip) so she's essentially trying to find purpose in life while also overcoming this insane guilt she's carrying with her for her own desires.

renée’s story in my head follows that of a noble who then became a street musician and eventual musketeer. in the original musketeer story, athos was married to milady de winter [who was the villain] and attempted to kill her after discovering she was a criminal and then he became a drunkard about it because it made him so sad. for renée, she could have been married to a wealthy man that her family arranged her to marry but he was like, a bad guy and wasn’t really nice to her etc and also was a criminal on the run, so she tried to kill him because she was sick of his shit but her kill attempt ended up with her being fought off by him and excommunicated by her and his family (because they dont know he’s a criminal) so she ended up as a street musician and that lead to her being a maid in the palace and you know the drill.

viveca, the same as was in the movie and book as porthos, loves fashion and clothing and is always dressed super dapper and i feel like this could easily make her be a seamstress in the palace who directly works with the royal family when it comes to making them garments (alongside being a maid). she would know the internal workings of the royal family and be the person who could spy on the politics of everything the easiest out of everyone. i feel like she can put up a facade very well with the royal family where she can act like she’s totally into what theyr doing and not totally planning to go against them at any point like at all.

essentially they work for the palace as maids, one way or another, and do all the shenanigans of protecting the prince from getting assassinated by snooping around and whatnot only for them to turn around and be the people who go out of their way to assassinate the prince because they quickly realize that he’s kind of a shit head. they essentially side with the group of people planning the assassination which leads them into meeting a group of rebels and people who protest the royal family. there’s this journey to realize that the true villain of the story is renée ex husband she tried to super kill who became an advisor to the prince and king after the assassination attempt (and the old advisor was kicked to the curb). so the ex-husband is now doing evil whispery advisor nonsense where he’s trying to convince the prince that the musketeers all are actually planning his assassination (even if its true like how dare you sir ex-husband) and that he should execute them publicly and then provided a bunch of false evidence to ‘prove’ (like its True they do wanna take down the prince but like yknow). and its like a whole thing. during this all they all fall in love and form a sapphic polycule and its complicated and nasty and oof.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[sunnyfoxsstuff]

Hey guy's! >:D New chapter today cuz i decided its Time that i right lol

Chapter 7:(idk tbh)

Qingxuan had went outside to take some fresh air After lastnight, walking more away into the forest

He xuan on his side was making breakfast being a bit distant thinking he caused this nightmare to him he may be dead and a Ghost now but it wont erase what he went through because he xuan's and shi wudu's action's

After some hour's around in the afternoon he xuan decided to talk to him but not about what happened but about more Ghost stuff

SQX:"what? You're gonna teach me? Teach me what?" Tilting his head confused After all he's a grown man

HX:"yes, i dont know if you noticed but pretty much any ghost's have something..'special' like their animal features or well for me controlling water ghost's usually find out what their 'special' thing is soon after having their body's materialised but since you're kind of, a peacefull Ghost." Crossing his arm's shutting his eye's "we'll have to find it by trying anything out After all a Ghost life isnt all happy one day you'll probably get attacked and i cant Always bé there," he stopped looking at sqx

SQX:"why would you want to always be there for me he xiong? Im sure i can learn it easy it'll be a piece of cake!" Lifting his fist's to his chest enthusiast and sure of himself

He xuan looked away to think, qingxuan creeped closer poking his cheek like old time's

SQX:"what are yooouu thinking?"

He xuan just turned his head looking at him "nothing, stop poking me its not Time for this." He sighed while sqx chuckled with a bright smile

HX:"what's so funny?"

SQX:"your face is funny, and squishy"

This Time he xuan grabbed his hand so he stops poking him continuing with "i think we should go shopping again"

Looking confused "sure if you want"

With that he xuan dragged sqx by the hand back to the market where jewel's and clothe's sort of thing's are

SQX:"y'know you Can let go of my hand i wont trip my leg doesnt hurt and its not like i'll run away either, also why are we back here"

Hx ignoring continuing to walk stopping infront a fan selling shop "choose one think of it as like a gift from me"

SQX:"he xiong you're acting weird today are you ok? Do you have a fiever?" Gettin infront of he xuan putting his free hand on his forehead

HX:"i aint sick i just had an idea beside's you're not gonna refuse a fan right? I know how you loved to use that thing everytime you would dance to summon the air"

SQX:"fine but let go of my hand"

After that sqx looked at all of the fan's he loved some but nothing felt like his past fan's he would buy some pretty fan's use them one Time and go back to the fan him and his brother had it was the only one he needed the only one he wanted but that same fan had got teared up by the same person that's right beside's him

SQX:"i dont really want any of them..i liked the old one"

HX:"you still like it even After your own brother who gave you it tried to kill you?"

SQX:"maybe he had a good reason?" Looking at he xuan which he Saw scoff probably by annoyance

Since sqx refused to buy any they had went back home After a walk around for the next day's he xuan would be busy going back to his territory sqx would wonder why he goes away for so long but he didnt dared to ask and just stay silent he still had xie lian's company he also counted hua cheng but it was clear as day that he was around only for his majesty

That night After walkin home sqx saw from a far he xuan's silhouette in the filled full of flower's with the full Moon and their house behind it seemed like he xuan had been waiting him

SQX:"what are you doing here at this hour alone? I mean beside's me i Always see you alone hehe-"

HX:"i just thought you'd be home more early and i got a gift for you" handing a fan with black silver ish detail's

Sqx took the fan openning it seeing that its his old fan a bright smile grew on his face hugging he xuan out of happiness

SQX:"ah sorry no hug's" he said but he xuan hugged back a bit which surprised sqx

HX:"..sorry for last time at the market when i got mad you're just really annoying sometime's"

SQX:"he xiong! That's not a way to apologies!..but its fine i forgive you dont worry about it your really silly sometimes he xiong" laughing

HX:"im not silly, anyway's i made diner alone since you werent there yet Come on"

Yoooo! I loved writing this chapter he'll probably will never have a title i Hope you all will love it just as much as i did!

[dragon-queen21]

im so happy you enjoy my ramblings! it means a lot to me, thank you🤍

Going off your recent mini fic, I DEFINITELY agree with the idea of zoro regressing, had that headcanon FOREVER but yeah sorry im a sucker for “big strong man being taken care of” he deserves it man. i feel like he’d be a older regressor normally (round 8) but if he needs to can slip really far (2-3, sometimes younger) like the idea of like regressed zoro just working himself up over something and stomping his feet and everyones like so surprised and hes so embarrassed about it idk i keep thinkin about it

i feel like the first time zoro FULLY regresses, he wakes up little. specifically after the crew leaves a island where he had to fight a huge battle and he doesnt realize he feels different until he goes to see his crew for breakfast, so now he one, has no idea whats going on and why he feels like this, and two, the poor baby is silently working himself up over it :(

i see zoro being strangly picky? sanji brings out breakfast for the crew and zoros just looking at it like its the grossest thing in the world. and sanji notices and its the strangest thing because sanji has MADE this dish for him before. sanji KNOWS zoro likes this ??? and now that sanji pointed it out everyones put their attention the zoro waitin for him to say something,

in my imagination, choppers the one to process that fact zoros regressing

and the kid is all overwhelmed with all the attention

in my head the end of this situation either ends up with zoro crying :( or him getting mad at everyone for thinkin theres somethin up (there is)

i dont see zoro as aomeone to get genuinely mad at the crew often but throw in overwhelmed kid factor and what do you get?

in another situation after both he and the crew accepts zoros a little, they make a rule that he cant use his swords little and that pisses him off because he got to use his swords when he was kid? why not when hes regressed and the crew has to explain that its because what if he slips younger all off a sudden? they cant control that, its too dangerous.

okay thats it for now, im sorry it was SO hard to put my thoughts on little! zoro into words, and ill be honest im not to happy about how i worded this, so i hope you understand what im trying to say and convey

but please if you have any little! zoro hcs id be happy to hear! no pressue at all though!

📷

Mkay we are going to pretend this didn’t take me as long as it did to answer. I wanted to give you a proper well thought out response and my brain was fighting me for days 😭

Anyways!

~I have had so many thoughts about regressor Zoro (when my brain will cooperate). I swear I say this all the time but I WILL post that fic in full. Eventually. One day. >///< ahh too many projects.

~I have such a soft spot for a character who is always protecting those around them getting taken care of in return.

~Zoro would throw so many small temper tantrums over the silliest things.

~In love with the idea of Zoro being ever so slightly clueless about his own regression. Add injury and blood loss, post adrenaline haze, etc. and just so many reasons for him to make excuses that everything is fine, he’s just feeling a bit off that’s all… until it happens again and again and suddenly he starts to realize, hmm maybe something is up… maybe he needs to go to Chopper about this.

~Ooh okay, I’ve had that headcanon for awhile with Zoro being fussy when it comes to food. I think that Sanji would eventually get so fed up with trying to feed the little, because he liked eating this meal yesterday so why is he throwing a fit today???, that eventually Robin takes over for him just because she has more patience for the regressor. (Also just mama Robin my beloved.)

~Zoro acting funny, my first thought was, oh gosh Luffy would be just so- Luffy.

“There’s not’ing wrong alright?!”

“Yes there is. Zoro is acting funny.”

“‘m not!”

“Are too!”

~Telling Zoro he’s not allowed to use his swords also because no one knows how to properly watch over him. Unlike him as an actual kid there is no one to properly ‘train him’ does that make sense?

~Recently been on the kick of caregiver Luffy. Just loving the idea of him being oddly good with kids and highly responsible in his own way. Overly protective once he knows one of nakama is little. So just thinking about him watching over Zoro and realizing his first mate is small before Zoro realizes it himself.

[insomniakisses]

Dog Fights and New friends

Fem!Reader x Shiba!Ryujin (Itzy)

You couldn’t help but sigh as your friend dragged you to yet another surprise location. They tried to play it off as wanting you to feel special and really enjoy the day out but you knew in reality they were aware that had they told you where they were taking you than you would leave.

So far they had taken you to many ethically questionable places and you were wondering how you ever got to know such inconsiderate and cold hearted people. But todays location really makes your stomach clench. You feel sick the moment you walk in, turning to your friends in utter disbelief and anger.

“REALLY!? Illegal dog fighting!?”

Your friend scoffs a laugh before shaking his head, “no, better! Illegal HYBRID dog fighting. The freaks finally getting what they deserve filthy animals”

Just as your about to protest, argue or leave just anything to get away from this place he pulls you to the ring. “Best seats in the house” he cheers. Cheers? You internally scoff. What an asshole, you think. Looking down your eyes lock with a trembling hybrid puppy.

Her soft brown eyes full of fear and confusion. Taking a moment to scan her over you notice her hair covering the left side of her face, the ends if a scar poking out just a little. You also don’t fail to notice the large tear in her ear or how she seems to limp around, her body covered in blood.

The match is long and to be quite honest sickening watching people pit hybrids against each other and cheer when one gets hurt? What was wrong with them to think that was okay. By the end if the match the hybrids were barely moving, body overtaken with injuries.

You were brought back to the present by your friends angry grunts, “Barely a fight!” They’d shout “There still breathing, what a joke!” Another complains. You cant take it anymore and get up to leave ignoring them calling after you.

So caught up in emotion you fail to realise you’ve taken a wrong turn until your met with a low grown. Looking around you see easily 50 cages of hybrids all of varying health but then you hear that same low growl and look down. The cage ur directly infront of houses the same hybrid from earlier and your heart all but breaks from the fear and distrust in her eyes.

Looking around once more u notice a max release lever. Flicking it you watch all the hybrids escape, those still breathing that is, but the puppy infront of you seems to refuse. She looks up at you in distrust backing up into the cage and releasing a panicked whine.

“Hey, er.. pup? Im not here to hurt you c’mon”

“My names… Ryujin” she says through a grunt while moving closer to you, but only slightly.

“Well Ryujin,” you smile stepping back and slowly offering your hand to her “you coming? We need to get those injuries checked out and take you away from this awful place” you shudder in disgust.

You swear for a second you see her smile but its gone so fast your not quite sure. Tentatively she takes your hand, helping in pain when she stands ending up in her falling. Sighing you pick her up on your back and start walking, pausing when she huffs out an unhappy noise.

“This doesnt mean i like you…. OR that i wont kill you if you try anything” she mutters resting her head on your shoulder. You cant help but laugh as not a minute later shes snoring away and nuzzling her face into the back of your neck.

[imaginespazzi]

Bestie bestie bestie!

Hello :) Where to even begin after so much time.. I guess first I'll note that my last anon to you is starred below just so we can follow the thread of last convo somewhat (and honestly just wanted to ensure you knew I at one point wrote in over you hiatuses)..

Ok on to more new stuff: Biggest news is Im off to the wifeys motherland (ironic a bit as I believe shes currently playing in my fatherland). I'll report back on food a day drink 😋 ca va?

Yay Liberty, they did it! 🗽Plenty of kudos to the Lynx as well. Was a great series all around. Even if my nerves barely withstood those overtimes & dramatic endings.

Coaching movement in the W continues to make my head spin. OMG the Thibaults are gone, didnt see that coming tbh! I remain seated for all the hirings/happenings to come. And cant believe we're almost to the lottery selection w still so much upheaval in place 🤯

Hope all is well w you despite lifes busyness. Take care

** Hi hi hi bestie! Yes that anon was me ha. I realized after sending that I left of my emoji signature, but was pretty sure youd connect things, given some hyper specific topics ha. Hope life is treating you alright apart from just being busy!

Im personally just relieved that the Libs managed to even things up last night, while still trying to process the 2nd half & OT of game 1 lol. That one was all just absolutely bonkers. Crazy entertaining, even if it hurt my NY supporting heart at the time.

When it comes to the coaching moves, def in agreement that Indy doesnt deserve good things. What do you make of who the Valks named HC? Seems a good hire to me at a quick glance, but Im also leery of anyone who might be involved w the Aces lawsuit ordeal (tbf Im not super well informed on that, but dont believe Ive ever seen her referenced w that stuff). Yeah objectively I dont feel that a (random) late winning run/playoff push, external circumstances w the standings aside, was worth dropping your odds of getting #1/Paige from like 30 to 10 %. Still struggle to understand why they ended up trying to fight the path that established itself early on. Granted kind of unexpected and extreme circumstances, but still, lemons to lemonade if you will. Im not feeling eager for the draw next month..

Honestly it will be interesting now to see/follow any Liz activity while she hits the offseason as college ball starts up soon. Curious to see if any crumbs or reactions come up at all. W those two seeming to be at an avoidance phase, another college wbb couple needs to step up and provide us w some (non toxic) drama to follow over the season ha! Not you tho Pazzi, you stay lovely/wholesome/stable/healthy

One additional GH note - I obvi live for snark, so wanted to share my fav lines from Ch 10

“Won’t somebody please think about the complications” Jana in full menace mode and so funny. "I mean other than the woman you married as well that is" The fact that Azzi will not ever say her name I just love. I also have this idea that Stephie, when older and knows pretty much everything re her parents history, will continue the she who shall not be named thing in support of her mama. (And Im not entirely discounting the possibility of a bit of real time drama w Olivia that wont help w this whole Azzi grudge).

Wishing you a good start to the week!! -☕️ **

Hi hi lovely I missed you <3

Ah babes that must have gotten lost in my sea of asks because I've been so bad about answering them. It's funny how much has change since whenever you sent that thought because the W has become a revolving door of coaching changes.

I really like the Valks HC choice. She's been very effective with the LVAces and I expect that to continue. Same with the recent news we go today of Tyler Marsh with the Sky. I think LVAces coaching staff in general is so strong and them branching off is good for the league and both the Valks and the Sky with these coaches and a little bit of time for player development should eventually be really good. Ultimately the lawsuit is a front office issue and I don't think these two had much to do with it and so until I see issues in their new respective teams, I don't think we can hold it against them.

LIBERTYYYYYYY. So happy for them and of course props to the Lynx. And honestly thank you to both teams for giving us what I think, despite that one foul, is the greatest W finals we've ever had.

THE THIBAULTS ARE GONE. You were one of the first people I thought of when I saw that news. Honestly I have no idea what to think. I really didn't see it coming and as much as I've done a lot of nepo baby this nepo baby that, I don't necessarily know if this is the right choice but I'll wait to see who they appoint as the head coach to really figure out my thoughts.

Lottery in 2 weeks?? What the actual hell? Like y'all we're likely gonna know where Paige is going before we even see Azzi on the court and that's insane to me.

OOOOH I have some CWBB drama if anyone wants it. Did y'all peep Last-Tear's Poa's shady insta caption she deleted? Her and Sam'yah Smith were a thing and streets are saying maybe she cheated?

Pazzi are being wholesome as always. "Silly girl" - what if I jump off a cliff :)

[docilepillow]

April 2024 Media diary

yea im good thanks PSEUDOREGALIA

by part this game and by part not really this game's kinda burning me out lol like the games objectively good i think its just the game style and some of the design choices that kind of abbrasively make me not like this game as much as i should like i love goats i love platformers i love metroidvanias but after finishing this game i dont really say i lik it persay but at the end i can only bring myself to only hate aspects of it , more then anything? like the ccombats ok its nothing flashy. and like. the main mechanic of this is wall kicking, whicch feels cool as hell . the movement in this game is great. but with how hands-off it is , and in combination with the nonlinearity and intended sequence breaking you can do, it is * horrifically * easy to get lost. i hear an earlier version of this game didn't even have a map, which is awful for this genre in my opinion. id describe this game as very frustrating and it feels like 90 percent of the time you're hitting your head against a wall trying to go anywhere, which, for some people, is absolutely fantasstic. im sure trying to fedangle around with this moveset is awesome. but i spent most of the game just wanting to get the full moveset as soon as possible, because, allthough a completely deterministic game as far as i'm aware, progressing from place to place feels really convoluted. i feel like in between grunting " ugh " and " I want this to be over with " and " god i wish there was an upgrade for this " and " i'm SO lost..! " the game has great ambiance and area design and theres plenty to do, i just kinda wish you had like . a few more quality of life features in the game. like . idk. like an area completion counter for each area, or a cursor for where you're located on the map.... Then again , i dont think thiss game was designed with that in mind, so i think it's just a shame or for people that just aren't like me. Yea, sybil is cute, i guess. ill give credit for that. i just cant really see that over what's , for the bulk of it, a stressful affair that feels like guesswork and trail and error. if this game ever gets a big qol update, i'd probably love it a whole lot more, but once again, i'm pretty sure thats an intentional artistic decision to reflect the era it's from . i went into this wanting to like it a whole lot more, i promise, but this is like a 5 out of 10 game ( for me personally ) ... i basically spent alot of it mentally appologizing to nmh2 for some reason. i need a break for today. i'm kind of really dissapointed right now THE CROODS video game movie

its cool

Also, on the topic of mario maker 2, which, technically, i finished last month, i DID in fact finish mario maker 2's story mode! i simply neglected to before andd i think it's okay. i think its a little bit better then the 3ds version's array of levels, and, playing them so close together, i'm honestly surprised they didn't try to impliment the acheivements you can get in those levels in this game, given the fact that so much is tracked by clear conditions in MM2. i wonder if that was a prototype feature they tried early in 3ds before implimenting it in the sequel? Oh well. i'm glad they just ddint implliment the clear condition where you cant get grabbed by claws, those are just the absolute worst..!

Daemonis Algebra

https://gothbingarbage.itch.io/daemonisalgebra

This one's actually nice and special, because i can say some friends of mine made it! It's for a gamejam, so it's pretty simple, but i think it's relatively effective for the kind of hectic gameplay they were going for with it. I'm actually a little bit clumsy when it comes to assembling the little " creature " you're putting together by running around the map, and, i get the sense they're supposed to match,but, given my luck / level of coordination, my creatures usually end up looking something like this --

Oops. It very much affectionately reminds me of older styled flash games you'd find on coolmath, though it's definitely a lot more polished then most of the ones i think of aestetically and mechanically. You just kind of dash around and collect charming little monster parts. It's a little hard to figure out what part's a leg or an arm or the like sometimes ( I actually thought my animal's head was an arm ); but i'm really confident in saying thats a genuine creative decision- it's kind of like a cute little cartoon dilema. i absolutely love this game's cute spritework and music!!!!!!!!!! go play it right now stupid!!!!!

( I Got Sidetracked And Am Doing The Entries For Everything Below At The Last Minute Because Of Nocturne ) THE PRINCESS BRIDE

I've seen this movie before, but i think it still holds up good. An overall solid movie with basically everything you could want from a classic film. Very very watchable with people or alone. You can't really complain with the film at all but i dont havve any new thoughtss on it or anything pokemon scarlet violet epilogue

TLDR; techniiicallly i've finished scarlet-violet a long, long time ago, and i mostly just.... forgot about it up until decently recently, after the prior movie i think, and was prodded to give it a try by a friend. I think some of the writing at the start is charming enough and it's not completely a waste like the rest of the game , but i'm still of the strong opinion that this dlc isn't even half the bar set by Swoshi's entire DLC lineup, which is a little bit sad.... I guess that's what happens when you rush out an open world supermassive entry in a series known for scopecreep and capital interest..? That seems a bit cynical, but I don' t really remember much of my thoughts about it in retrospect, now. It's a little out of the way, but i'd hate to see what happens to this event when servers go down and you can't get pecharunt's item anymore.

POKEROGUE

There isn't really a good image to represent this game, so just the logo will do, i guess. TLDR, I think this is a fangame with a cute idea, and psudo-decent execution , but it's definitely still a work in progress. the earlygame grind where you're just trying to get started is absolutely brutal in a way that is simply just---- timeconsuming and not that much fun at all. If you want to check out the game yourself, I reccomend catching a paldean tauros as soon as possible so you can use it at the start of future runs. The basegame is set to last around 200 rounds, so it's definitely a massive time commitment to try, but once you do get a run going, it can be fun. I still think the earlygame needs ironing out and some of the moves aren't fully implemented yet because it's still new. I'll be honest and mostly say i jumped on this one out of a bandwagon. If you're curious to see me try a run, this clip might still be up for anyone to watch, but i wouldn't count on it forever - https://streamable.com/44j2v2 STRONG BAD'S COOL GAME FOR ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

( The first 4 episodes, out of 5 . I ran out of time, once again, thanks to nocturne. Oops! )

SBCGFAP on wiiware is a game based around homestar runner, which i've mostly come to appreciate only recently this year. I got into it around February, where me and my boyfriend incidentally started watching it around the tail end of our trip. A few months later, and i'm super endeared by this show's writing style! It sort of feels like how something like Castlevania or Spore feel like to me now, in that it's not really a thing that's upkept anymore that much, with sparing crumbs of new stuff to see thrown out in little rations . So, when i got home, and, having recently re-modded my wii u ( And, with a Vwii setup, in part due to my sister wanting to play the overseas unreleased Mystery Dungeon games, the means to play wiiware in a way that i'm sure would've been fine to set up, actually, because dolphin is also awesome, just, more convenient for me because it wouldn't be taking up my laptop's storage space ) ; i proposed playing this game with him in call , which we did for a while! I'd say as a complete novice to the Point N' Click and also Telltale Game genre that the writing was pretty suitable. The scenarios are mostly just standard homestar runner stuff, and it did keep a big smile on my face. I actually think my favorite episode so far was the first one, looking back on it, considering how much Homestar is in it and how the puzzles ended up being lighter, but that's to my own preference. I think these games are worth looking into if you have a modded Wii U around, which im sure some people do. I imagine most people getting into HSR would've already watched a lets play or something on youtube already..! Anyway, i think this is good. i think people should give it a try even outside the inherit fact that this game is nearly lost media. I didn't get to finish the trogdor episode more then halfway before getting sidetracked by college preperation stuff. Sorry.. PORTAL 2 - COOPERATIVE TESTING INITATIVE ( technically properly capitalized! )

I've actually never finished any of the portal games! I'm too stupid to finish them ! But my boyfriend is hella into it and I know the story stuff already! And we both haven't done the co-op stuff before! So we did ! On a whim ! And i don't QUITE feel comfortable putting it on my backloggd until i at least finish the singleplayer campaign as well, so that puts me in a neat spot! id like to think i wasnt ccomplete dead weight in this playthrough but i was a little dumb. this game leads to fun banter and silly fun though it lends itself well to being coop and it's not as confusing as it would be when you're working with someone compitent who can backseat you as you completely misinterpret his directions. I'm honestly shocked how high the steam statistic for clearing this mode is , look at this ---

Do a fifth of people really play this???? I can kind of believe that but really ? damn! ! ! ! thats pretty cool you dont usually see numbers like this for modes like this. I'm a little bit sad there aren't more multiplayer co-op experiences like this, but that's kind of what makes them special in the first place. SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI III - NOCTURNE

This game has been one i've been procrastinating on trying since finishing SMT IV and IV-A nearly a year ago now, just in part because of it's reputation as a brutal, arduous journey of an RPG. I've heard many good things about this game. I've heard many bad things about this game. I've heard many things about this game's remaster, and I have it bought on both Steam and PS4. I dunno. Just because it was an SMT game on PS4. The primary thing that's making me finish it now is mostly just in part due to the only game i'm looking forward to, shin megami tensei V - Vengeance, coming out in around a little over a month as of typing this-- and, considering V on switch was how i got into the game, i MOSTLY know what to expect. Though, i never got to finish the DLC in that game . AND if i finished nocturne, i could confidently tackle every ounce of that game's new content under a fresher lens then JUST a series newcomer. I have really high hopes for V-V, but that's not really what this game is about. I knew already in advance that i would need to section off a very large period of time for this game going in , so I basically ended up sticking to logging in a couple of hours over the whole month when not fixating on anything else media wise or when not doing important college preperation shit that I need to get done and in fact STILL HAVE THINGS TO DO FOR. And still i only just barely about had enough time to do it!!! SMT nocturne , for the most part, and as long as you have some expectation and experience in the traditional RPG genre, isn't actually that bad difficulty wise. Like, as long as you're prepared, you'll actually fare way better then in some of the other games in the series that i've played, which is nice. Like, outside something like a super unlucky light / dark magic oneshot hitting you once and a while, as long as you're dilligent and prepare and use the systems you're given, you'll live. Like, i'm not gonna say this is how you get into SMT, but it's reputation is only MOSTLY overblown as unfair and stupidly difficult. But, because i'm stupid, and dont understand the ramifications of my actions, i went for the best ending on my first playthrough, cus, once again, i'm using it as a thing to do before SMT 5 V comes out so i can fully enjoy both. Now, apparently, for most people, it takes 110 hours or so to do the " true demon " ending, but i mostly went in , i dont wanna say rushing, but i mostly went through the game with as little as i'd need to thrive, i guess. optimized? Idk. I think most of the game is very intuitave and very enjoyable. its very somber and very dungeon crawly, and i think its gameplay rules. i think i like IV more still but i think this game is cool most of the time when you don't get cosmiclly unlucky . but like. the final bosses of this game are just fucking cheaterss that kill you . the last dungeon of this game took me like 10 hours by itself its insane thats like my only gripe. like. sometimes id pull up a guide when a boss has like null physical and it kills me because the game doesn't let you double check matchups like the games after it, or when theres a particularly convoluted way forward ( Note - by convoluted, i mostly just mean, i'm too stupid to navigate most 3d games without getting lost at some point unless it's perfectly linear ), or just for convenience, but it's a very fair level of challenge for most of the way if you know what to look out for. my only regret with this game is i'm sorry about any friend discussions ive completely halted by bringing this game up all the time in conversation. oops... That and it takes a surprising amount of effort to go through alos idkd idkd ddikd i just wnana get this log done its way too late at night also i was assuming naively that Nocturne would be my 100th logged game since i've started documenting my own media diaries, but because of how things turned out, it's closer to the 97th on backlogged. Oops! That's an arbitrary achievement only i care enough about! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aloi9Cj6wFA

[flowersfallingdown]

is it bad i wish i was a system? i mean i have what i call 'head friends' but they're just my subconscious ^^'

but then i start to wonder "are they actually?" cause whenever im "talking" to them i refer to us as 'we' like "we need to do laundry" or "our arm looks kinda messed up" but then i observe more and then think "nope, thats just my subconscious, im just lonely and made up imaginary friends" and then i get sad cause i think itd be nice to be more than one person in one body cause then i wouldnt feel so alone :/

but then i think "no thats bad, alters are sentient beings, if you were a system you cant just use them to fill a hole like theyre nothing more than toys"

anyways, sorry this is so long i didnt know where else to put my thoughts ^^'

Okay I’ve been trying to think of how to respond to this for a bit now and I still don’t exactly know how so I apologize if this makes no sense

First of all: I don’t know your full life. I don’t live it. For this reason, I can’t say if you’re plural or not (although I will say that some of those things sound a bit plural). I’m also not a professional by any means.

Secondly, there’s more than one way to be a system. I’m only versed in my experiences because once again, it’s how I’ve lived my life, but I’m sure that there’s someone out there who may relate to your experiences.

Thirdly, I don’t think it’s inherently bad to want to be a system. I know a lot of anti-endos get up in arms about that, but honestly I really do not care. Brains are weird and I know quite a few people have related to the “I wish I was a system” statement before finding out they are one.

In the end, I think it’s all about whether the label helps you or not. I’d recommend talking to others as well (perhaps a professional if you can). I’ll link this neocities I swear by that may help you.

Sorry once again if this made no sense. Brain ain’t functioning today

[yuukei-yikes]

REASONS TO LOVE SHINTARO AS A CHARACTER:

first of all; hes a gamer boy depicted as he really is and not what he thinks he is: a fucking loser who fails at every social situation and also stinks

aside from the jokes, i think he has two main songs in the whole series: toumei answer and lost time memory. im just gonna share lyrics from each song that makes me go INSANE thinking about him:

"The alarm that starts ringing/Says to my lonely self: you're a coldhearted fool" <- his guilt here is delicious to me like he blames himself for her death and yes he did act shitty and he abandoned her but he didnt do it out of malice he did it bc he didnt know how to approach her but he thinks he killed her and its also killing him OUGH

"The color of your hair/The shape of your smile/Someone might have already forgotten it" <- and then HES the one who forgets everything about ayano bc of the trauma like here he laments that her absence that has already changed his entire world might be this insignificant to someone else AND YET AND YET HIS MIND LOCKS HER OUT ITS JUST. OUGH

(NOT TO MENTION HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES THE FLOWERS WHEN HE REALIZES WHEN HE SEES THE PAPER CRANE)

(get ready for lost time memory brainrot bc that kills me every fucking time its my fav song)

"Even after years, the shadow doesn't fade/It only invites more emotions." <- he doesnt remember but the absence is heavy on his mind it KILLS me

"If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward/I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead." <- self destructive EVEN in the good route where hes not as suicidal like being self deprecating is a huge part of his brain

"Feeling hazy, let's remain unaffected today too/And keep up yesterday's pace/So that I won't ever forget your warmth/If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then/I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from" <- GOING INSANE GOING FERAL hes SO FULL OF REGRET and hes SUCH A STUPID BITCH that his solution is to stay in his own head and live in his dreams (literally) like i want to hug him and i want to slap him

"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again/While clinging on to your colorful smile" <- just imagining how route X shintaro is often colored with black and dull colors bc his world has lost the color OUGH

(god just. the ending part where he desperately reaches out to clutch ayano vs him moving on from the tragedy and the proud and tearful smile of ayano just HNNGGH HE REALLY GREW DIDNT HE)

(and who cant relate to wanting to change things bc u lost ur chance before but u cant change anything so u just disappear into ur head trying to either comfort urself by daydreaming or trying to find other stuff, try to forget ur will and wallow in passivity, its just so *chefs kiss*)

i get it hes not a very likable person and he does act shitty and bratty and the anime really doesnt give him the floor to change BUT!!! give him a chance and he WILL become ur poor little meow meow. guaranteed.

reply under read more cuz this should be its own post!! and also all i gotta say is YESSSS YEEEES YESSSSS shintaro is. such a good character and i also wanna cry my eyes out with EVERYTHING abt lost time memory.

he's just a stupid guy and the thing abt shintaro is that he will ALWAYS do what's right. he has a very strong sense of justice and he's very clear on his principles. and he will always speak up for others and stand up for what he thinks is right. and this like... a HILARIOUS virtue for a character who is ALSO so awkward, difficult to approach, bratty and self centered. like that's so funny.he is such a special little guy and HE IS AWESOME

he's so cringe fail and an asshole but he's also the hero and deserves praise for it. like cry about it. he is a good guy but he's also the worst. but also he's the best. hope that helps

he and ayano are such character foils... like.... both have this strong sense of justice and they're really really REALLY the damn heroes. hold on i need to cry a little

[d-nessi]

CHAPTER 1| *JUST A GIRL IN A BAR*

A/N: Welp here we go. my first ever written Fanfic.

I hope my english is ok. Criticism is welcome :) (Im human so...)

there´s just a slice of fluff and there will be more chapters. I promise next one is full of lovydovy fluffedyfluff (what the...) Proofread?...ugh Yes and no. like I said is something wrong just tell me ;P I used HE/HIM cause in germany I dont even know if we have other pronounces for genderfluid people.

HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT <3333 have fun

Pairing: Bella Ramsey x FemReader

wordcount: 1,4k!

Just a girl in a bar

Sitting at the bartable, drinking one drink after another wasnt a good idea. Thats what I thought.

But it turns out it was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I dont really drink alcohol, honestly I never had but after losing my job in germany I would like try a new start here in England. Nottingham England and its freakn` raining the whole time. Matches with my mood I thought.

Today was my first day at work and hell it was rough. The reason Im sitting here with the Gin in my hand, at least we fit together. "one Gin please", a sweet and innocent voice suddenly filled the room. I look to my left when I just take a sip and almost spit it on HIM realizing WHO is sitting next to me. Bella doesnt even realize my behavior thank god and I try to stay as cool as I could cause right?…its just Bella...Bella freaking Ramsey!

I have to admit he looks quite frustrated when he downs his drink. Voices in the backround starting getting louder which gets more and more annoying. "Ramsey! BELLA RAMSEY! your the one in Game of Thrones!? and in the last of us!" High voices almost screamed at Bella. "yes thats me", obviously not in the mood he looks at the girlygroup right behind him.

Each of the 4 women starts to talk at once and forget about Bella, who doesn`t seem to want to talk to such annoying people.

It starts to pissing me of only because clearly they have no manners when it comes to a single humanbeing.

"OK ENOUGH you disturbing chicks now take a leave!", I stand up and move to them. They all look upset but just leaving the bar.

"another gin for the person to my left", I wink to the barkeeper and he gives him another shot. "you alright bella?",

I ask not knowing if he is ok calling him by his firstname. "yeah I think so", are the only words.

"I guess you have to endure often with people like that?" I ask and empty my gin showing the keeper that he should fill up again.

"somtimes, not that often", he smiles at me looking thankful.

I talked a lot more with Bella and it`s weird that it seems like we are just frinds. Shows that even people that are known in public just normal humanbeing.

He stands up and smiles at me. "Y/N it was a pleasure to drink with you". i smile back "me too Bella" He leaves the bar and so do I a little later.

Next day and Im sitting here again. Same spot, same chair and no...a coke in my hand sipping regretful on it. "I will never ever drink alcohol again!" my head seems to explode even after only 2 shots of gin. Im not made to drink that Devils juice.

"one coke please", again that beautiful voice of him. "so today Im not the only one that regrets yesterdays evening" I smile at Bella. YES its Bella again and I cant believe I almost laught about the fact he also just drinks a coke. "dont blame me Im not used to drink alcohol", he looks a bit pale but seems happier than yesterday. "same for me", I say and we drink together from our glasses full coke.

"hows your day today and also I cant remember your name", he looks a little embarrassed. "never mind, Y/N. Except for a hangover I feel pretty good. its so nice to meet you again here" I smile maybe a bit to bright.

"yeah me too", he drinks and we talk about my past, how I lost my job in Germany and moved to England.

I dont know but when I look at him theres this weird feeling in my stomac. It makes me a little nervous especially when I look at Bella.

Time passes to fast and I really dont want him to leave but he takes his jacket and smiles at me. "your often here from now on?" a simple question I have to ask. "well maybe but I have to leave England in 2 weeks cause of the new season of the last of us show" he looks wistful. "oh....ok....wow season two. sounds pretty awesome. I didnt tell you I really love the show", I empty my coke.

"thank you", he blushes a little. damn there it is…the same feeling like befor. oh oh….please dont tell me that I have a crush on that REALLY REALLY untouchable person in front of me. I have to do something! "so.....", I start befor he goes. "do you want to show me your hometown next days? if you still have some time? I think you know best how to go" There was a hesitation but not in a bad way I think. " yeah...why not", a sweet smile, so sweet I could melt, was on his face. "you wanna exchange numbers with me?" I grab my mobile. "sure", he tells me the number and our paths seperate for now. Is this real? Am I not dreaming? Are we talking about that THE Bella Ramsey exchanged numbers with me? like we are close frinds? I cant wait to text her when we will meet for the city stroll trough Nottingham.

________________________________________

Y/N: 9:22am

Hey Bella :)

you wanna meet up with me in city? maybe at 2pm?

Bells: 9:28am

hey yeah that`s fine for me. We can meet at Old Market Square

Y/N: 9:30am

ok sounds good. cu

________________________________________

at Old Market Square

"BOOOH" I stealth from behind and got almost punched in my face while Bella squeaks loudly.

"wooow what in the holy world are you doing!? I was about beating your ass up" he looks angry but soon it turns into a smile.

"sorry" give him a cute look, him blushing and turn arround. "ok so…..that`s your hometown? Can I admit that it looks so incredible historic?"

He smiles and we walk trough different places in the city talking about Bellas past. I was truely flastert by his voice that sounds so sinnful and like heaven at the same time.

I don't think Bella knows how I feel even I don't know what's going on inside of me. The only thing I know is that I want to be closer to him…

maybe too close. So close that it could might ruin our relationship we build in that short time.

"less than 2 weeks until you have to fly to America. are you excited already? It's going to be a lot of work, I'm sure you can do it. And then I want to watch the whole second season".

I just try to encourage him but it seems that he is sad about every word I say.

"yeah…I'll be gone a hell of a long time. I don't even know if I'll be able to fly home for Christmas. the second season is a much bigger project".

He looks up to the sky while we are walking through the Aboretum. Just looking at him makes me sad and I regret bringin up the subject.

"hey you want Icecream?" I ask out of the blue.

"yeah why not" Bella smiles but looks uncertain. The rest of the day was rather quiet with an underlying sad mood. Like if she doesn't want to leave England or is there another reason? I would so like to know what she thinks. should I ask? no, not that the mood suffers even more.

"you want to go on a walk with skipper and me tomorrow?" he looks at me as if nothing happened befor.

"uh…your adopted dog? yeah of course I would", I take a deep breath. "fine than see you tomorrow morning at 6:30am? when the sun rises?", he ask.

"sounds great" I said, hesitating for a moment but finally just hugging Bella. A thousand butterflies flying through my stomach. As if every single one gives me an electric shock. I smiled at him as I broke the hug and wished I could hug him a little longer.

I can`t breath u guys....waaaaay too excited right now *hides from the stones that are thrown*

For more Chapters, stories and more just look at my Masterlist ♡

[ravenromanova]

Where it all Started

Parings: Female oc x red room (future bucky x oc)

Warnings: none for now

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: Lilith gets taken by the red rooms and says goodbye to her parents.

Liliths p.o.v in 1980 at nine years old

"He's coming soon we need to get her ready. he will be here within the hour." My father Jason says barely above a whisper. His head hanging low as he tells my mother the news. His face stained with sorrow and guilt. I can see the sun shining on his tear stained face as he speaks.

"Yes i know dear i know but i'm having second thoughts... I don't wanna say goodbye to her, she's our daughter our only daughter Jason." My mother Lila says tears filling her eyes as my father pulls her into his chest and rubs her back. He whispers something in her ear lowly to where i cant hear what he said. After a few minutes i see the break the hug and let out heavy sighs. Once they are apart i see my mother walking to my room with her head hung low.

As quick as i can i back away from my door where i was watching them through the small space in between the door . I run over to my bed and put an innocent smile on my face. When my mother walks into my brightly painted room she smiles sadly. I can see the despair in her eyes as she walks over to sit next to me.

"Hey babygirl we need to start packing up." Mother says to me grazing my cheek with her thumb as she smiles softly. Before i could protest she was packing my stuff. In the mist of her packing i notice how she doesn’t even look at me. I start to feel tears in my eyes as i watch my mother pack all my things.

"Mommy.... i don't wanna go. i wanna stay here with you and papa. please don't make me leave." I cry to my mother as i wrap myself around her legs. She looks down at me with bloodshot eyes and caresses my head before speaking.

"Baby we don't have a choice anymore. the deal has been made and he's on his way to collect. i'm sorry butterfly but it's out of our hands now." She finally says after a minute. She picks me up and grabs the duffel bag she packed for me and walks to the living room.

Once we get into the living room i see my father pacing back and forth. “You all packed butterfly?” He asks as he kneels down so we are eye level. No words are said as i jump into his arms and start sobbing.

“i dont wanna go daddy please” I try to plead even though i know its no use. My words fall on deaf ears and my father just shakes his head.

He looks at me with eyes full of sorrow as he speaks. “We have no choice anymore butterfly.” And with that he sits me on the couch and we wait for the man to arrive.

-------------------

What feels like 10 hours but it was really 30 minutes later 6 men walk into my living room. I jump slightly out of my seat when they come in. My stomach starts to hurt as one of the men speak to my father.

"Привет, Джейсон" (hello Jason) A man with glasses and a long black coat say to my father. The 5 other men that came with him were now behind him. They were dressed in all black and had things attached to their backs but i couldn't quite make out what the things were.

" Здравствуйте, сэр, рад вас видеть" (hello sir nice to see you) My father responds to the man in the same language the man with the glasses used. Suddenly two of the men that walked in started walking towards me and take a seat next to me on the couch.

" hello darling how are you today." One of the men ask me. i turn to look at him and i take a second to take a look at his face. His hair was dark and short, he had a beard that was a mix of grey and dark hair, dark brown eyes and he talked in a sweet voice.

" i-i'm okay but i don't really wanna leave my mommy and daddy. i know i have to but i'm gonna miss them a lot." I say to the man as i look down at the floor. I try not to think about the fact im leaving as the two men next to me start talking.

" Вы думаете, ее будет легко сломать?" (do you think it will be easy to break?)I turn to look at the man who spoke also taking a minute to look at him. He was bald but had stubble on his head, light stubble around his chin.

"Он должен быть ребенком, разве это может быть трудно?." (it should be its a kid how hard can it be?)The dark haired man said to the bald man and the bald man simply nodded his head.

"Men its time to leave, grab the girls things and lets go we have work to do." The man with the glasses says to the men next to me. The dark haired man reaches his hand out for me to take. I slowly look up at him and grab his hand and follow him to the man in the glasses.

" say your goodbyes little one its time to go." the man with the glasses says to me and hands me off to my mother and father.

" it's gonna be okay butterfly don't worry they will take care of you and make you stronger than you ever could've known was possible." My father says to me getting on eye level with me before he brings me in for a hug. I look at him with teary eyes as my mother kneels down as well.

" we love you so much butterfly please never forget that. you are the most important thing in the world to us." My mother says kissing my forehead and giving me a hug like shes never hugged me before. I cling on to her as she speaks whisking this was all a dream.

" i love you mama, i love you daddy i wont forget you guys i promise." I say as tears roll down my face and my vision becomes blurred.

" never forget how powerful your mind can be butterfly. your mind will prove to be your biggest gift my dear. i love you." my mother whispers in my ear before letting me go. I say an i love you to them one more time before the man with the glasses takes my hand and we walk out the door.

As we walk out of the house i turn back for one more look at my parents and i see my mom curled into my dads chest gripping his shirt as she cries. Suddenly i'm put into the backseat of a black car two men get into the front and the dark haired man sits next to me. I look over to the other side of me and see the man in glasses smiling. For some reason his smile made my stomach hurt even more.

" its all gonna be okay lilith we are gonna make you strong and powerful." The dark haired man says to me pulling me out of my thoughts. He smiles at me when he drive away from my house and i almost cry. I take one more look at my old life before i can no longer see the house. I try not to cry as i think about leaving them. I remind myself that im helping my parents by doing this. I can do this.

I’m gonna miss my old life but at least these people are gonna take care of me..right?

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Welcome to the first chapter of The Winter Widow! I hope you enjoyed! i promise we will see Bucky and Lilith interact soon i just thought she should have a proper backstory! This story is my baby so please let me know what you think and dont forget to like and reblog and ill see you in the next chapter 🖤❤️

i do not give permission for my work to be translated or copied on other cites

[goremet-chef]

i love polyamory 🗣‼ life changing for real like. IDK i think a lot of my disconnect to things directly comes from autism so to ik to a lot of people they CANNOT imagine such a thing but its pretty easy for me? like its just a bigger relationship its great, i work better in groups anyways thats why like all of my self inserts are inserted into polyam relationships. if its not virginia and kelvin, its link and sidon, papyrus and mettaton LIKE. SHIT LIKE THAT its just second nature for me.

(didnt mean to ramble so hard but welcome back to dominics yapping club today we're going to be yapping about my connection with romantic vs platonic love because its my tumblr and im here to YAP)

i guess that disconnect honestly. i STILL really have no idea if im actually aromantic or not. like i do a lot of yearning but am i REALLY yearning? i cant read myself so i have no idea like genuinely it is a FULL mystery who knows!!!! i think maybe like. okay it falls on bpd and how that affected my relationships, when i think back to it i can tell everyone ive ever been in relationship with, they were my FP so maybe i did love them? but i know i was also obsessed like.... listen looking back on younger me clueless to what bpd even was, having a mental breakdown in middleschool cuz yr online girlfriend made matching icons with HER AND HER FRIENDS FURSONAS..... like genuinely i was SO CRUSHED i thought it was over and done and i was like what about all that we had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO DRAMATIC OKAY... i dont blame younger me cuz he couldnt have known but like... the signs have always been there KSFS im a lot more. managed now, at least i try my best to be and from what i can tell in my 'recent' relationship adventures, one of them i was ONLY obsessed with for a little while cuz he gave me attention even tho he sucked a little and then the obsession like.. faded. it was over and i said goodbye and that was that (which. IK IT SOUNDS AWFUL but it was one of those sexual interest things and outside of that attention, he was very manipulative and honestly a little rude so. i did the right thing idk why i keep losing the relationship lottery)

i guess i just get nervous about that happening again, but like. im slowly realizing i can be obsessed with someone yes, but i can also love them. i think i spent a while there like.. discrediting any of the love i felt for anyone because it was accompanied with obsession, but thats not true!! i did love them, i loved her and i loved him and it all like. idk its a lie, ive been lying to myself and saying im only capable of brutal obsession when its not true, i can love too. i love all the time!!!!! i love my pets i love my friends like. im a lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is honestly the first time im really realizing that tbh but. its the truth even if theres a lot of bitterness and anger and pain inside of me, there is also love

i think my problem is i just dont understand romantic relationship? like on an autism level cuz to me like. whats the difference between a partner and a friend? LIKE GENUINELY cuz im about as affectionate with a friend as how i should be with a partner SO WHERES THE LINE? to me there just is no line like idk i really cant see it! i think if yr dating someone, they SHOULD be yr friend because what................. like how could you get with someone whos not yr friend already yknow what i mean where did you find that guy!!!! and where has he BEEEN put him back bro.....

and even then i think i hear a lot of people describe their relationships as like 'dating their best friend' yes im sure but that just makes it murkier like. i think that romance isnt real guys i think its made up and its just a word, theres this like. this elevation of romantic love in comparison to platonic love and i do not understand why because its the same thing for me? i love my friends just as hard as id love a partner because thats what they DESERVE, so like idk i think in my head i dont see it either way its just love? the lines are too blurry for me to process so i just disregard them completely, somethin like that.

interesting to think about but it. like no one else feels that way so its very. if i did have a partner, could i give them what they need? i could love them til the very end, but like. what do they want from me............... like is there some unspoken rules that i need to have spoken to me or something, is it wrong for me to love my friends like that? is it wrong for me to love my partner like that? like i genuinely cant tell. i know people say ohh when you fall in love its this connection youve never had before its so special and new and different from yr other relationships and to that??? you must just not have very close friends!!! id do anything for my friends id lay my life down for them id eat them out id DO ORGANIZED CRIME AND BECOME A MAFIA BOSS i let them PEER PRESSURE ME INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL (lie), id go out on FRIEND DATES BASICALLY its so cute we all go out together and just hang around and shop and eat together like i love it and i would sit in their beds and just. be quiet because we dont need to be talking !!!!!!!!!!! ill sleep with them ill let them touch me even which says a lot cuz i REALLY dont like to be touched!!!!!! its love so deep it makes my brain fuzzy like im giggling right now teehee i love all my friends so much i give every single one of them a little kiss

my POINT IS i jsut dont see the need for like. the labels i guess? because to me there is no difference between romantic and platonic love, its all just LOVE i think thats whats made me feel so. STRANGE all the time, everyone always describes sparks and shit and i just dont understand cuz i spark with everyone i love, i wouldnt love them if i didnt!!!!!! grining

so am i aromantic? i do not know because i dont believe in romantic love/???? like. i dont think its that im lacking romantic attraction i think its just that romantic attraction and platonic attraction are the same thing for me basically like its just RAW LOVE AND ADORATION and i can extend that to anyone

OKAY i know this is so long this is literally me just. im like self mediating myself rn okay im HELPING MYSELF UNDERSTAND ME BETTER cuz i really have no idea whats going on at all

[disco-cola]

dude i honestly think i lowkey to very highkey traumatized myself in the last few days by viewing raw footage from gaza and also israel. like i dont ever watch horror movies for a reason (i literally only have seen one in my life bc i was forced to and it was nightmare on elm street or something so most people would say this aint even a bad one but it was enough for me already), i get sick when i see just blood let alone more graphic stuff like i cant take it, i am just really sensitive... but ive seen stuff in these videos man thats absolutely out of my league (and im saying this seeing it on a screen in a safe home, having to see this irl is beyond words) like last night i literally cried and had a full on panic attack for over an hour again bc of new photos and videos. like i dont even wanna go into detail into what was shown its too gruesome. like im sure even people who are totally into horror stuff usually and can take it well would agree on this. and the fact these arent fictioncal scenes like from a movie but are so real. theres no way to calm down about it. and all day today these images just randomly kept popping into my head like i seriously can barely stop my brain from thinking about them. i thought about trying to avoid certain accounts like eye.on.palestine for a while bc the stuff on there is so fucking heavy but then again it also makes me feel uneasy and kinda guilty bc i know i have the damn privilege and choice to just stop looking at it if that makes sense? while the people there cant?