#also the footage from the attacked kibbutz and festival is GRUESOME and unbearable

[disco-cola]

dude i honestly think i lowkey to very highkey traumatized myself in the last few days by viewing raw footage from gaza and also israel. like i dont ever watch horror movies for a reason (i literally only have seen one in my life bc i was forced to and it was nightmare on elm street or something so most people would say this aint even a bad one but it was enough for me already), i get sick when i see just blood let alone more graphic stuff like i cant take it, i am just really sensitive... but ive seen stuff in these videos man thats absolutely out of my league (and im saying this seeing it on a screen in a safe home, having to see this irl is beyond words) like last night i literally cried and had a full on panic attack for over an hour again bc of new photos and videos. like i dont even wanna go into detail into what was shown its too gruesome. like im sure even people who are totally into horror stuff usually and can take it well would agree on this. and the fact these arent fictioncal scenes like from a movie but are so real. theres no way to calm down about it. and all day today these images just randomly kept popping into my head like i seriously can barely stop my brain from thinking about them. i thought about trying to avoid certain accounts like eye.on.palestine for a while bc the stuff on there is so fucking heavy but then again it also makes me feel uneasy and kinda guilty bc i know i have the damn privilege and choice to just stop looking at it if that makes sense? while the people there cant?