#reality is a satire

[st-just]

I'm sorry this is just so funny to me

[the-crooked-library]

the vampire lestat dropped his single a DAY ago and his stans are already having beef with swifties… 🖐️💀 guys chill you’re both having mental breakdowns to shitty lyrics, literally nobody else gives a fuck

[brightlotusmoon]

[lifenconcepts]

How to pass as a man in public:

Spit on the ground obnoxiously.

Tell the bus driver “cheers” instead of “thank you”.

Forget anything you were taught about self hygiene.

Be very contradicting with your statements (like saying you hate cats then cuddling the strays) and also a hypocrite.

Manspread on benches and seating.

Hide any sign of your lost innocence and stress under a facade of aggression and anonymity.

Never speak to people apart from casual chats about incredibly neutral topics.

Frown at woman showing even the smallest amount of skin.

Ask for ciggies in the dark of night from other guys smoking by pubs.

Stand with your hands on your hips while looking over the groceries at stores.

Pretend you always know what you’re doing even when you don’t.

Yell incoherent statements through a phone.

Disregard personal space.

Show signs of addiction (free choice as to what! :3)

Punch walls.

KISS OTHER MEN

[vinylshifting]

going to another universe where im still a deppressed teenage boy but now im hot and deppressed

[davidaugust]

RNC Augmented Reality really does make it seem bigger than it is.

[dragon-for-the-day]

Still battling your demons? Mine live rent free in my head, play in a garage band and have an alcohol problem.

[galerymod]

But he should have done it as a failed painter, to save everyone more grief.

mod

[blood-orange-juice]

The best part of Midsommar is that the main heroine is a psychologist

[missandrisky]

If I had been cursed to have been born male I would count myself lucky that Females are not nearly as depraved as my kind. T’were Women as biologically prone to aggression and sexual violence as males are we would sort you fuckers out of the population before you even left the womb and brainwash the only males we did create into worshipping a Female deity and only viewing themselves as fertilizer for the purpose of breeding more Women who support our matriarchy (along with the occasional males who breed more Women).

[st-just]

Not to say that I've necessarily got a better idea off the top of my head, but the sheer number of big city mayors out there trying to browbeat business owners to drag their employees back to commuting to work in an office so they'll spend more money at restaurants feels like I'm living in a Yes Minister B-plot. Or an Ayn Rand novel.

'Waste millions of person-hours annually clogging highways and transit systems in the hope that enough of them will forget to pack lunch and decide to overpay for a sandwich to keep all the restaurants in business' has to be literally the least efficient policy I can imagine. Like c'mon.

[solis-angelus]

a poem I wrote after seeing this post and many others on here.

Her name was Sidra Hassouna, and she was killed among the thousands of other people in Palestine. Never forgive never forget.

[theneondreaming]

The Truman Show

[shiftlikesnow]

loablr is so confusing sometimes ngl.

what are sats??? i was convinced they were the end of year tests you take in year 6 for the better part of three years, what??

saturation? dude open photoshop or something, it’s right there.

[largelyonline]

Well, TikTok has started putting a bunch of weird pro-smoking videos in my feed, so I guess I see now why teens like it so much.

[ileftherbackhome]

learning that tumblr genuinely hates the purge is wild to me because did we watch the same series???????? u mean the series that said rich people will concoct a whole propaganda machine to get poor people to kill each other as a form of population control or something i forget its been years at this point but like ????? did yall see the same films i did