#realistically if a ship is coming back from the dead to haunt us like so many rabid zombies it’s going to be johnlock

[chekovs-merkin]

it is the year 2028. to mark the 25th anniversary of the end of the jeeves and wooster series, a movie-length television/streaming special is made based on ring for jeeves/come on jeeves, starring stephen fry and with parts especially written for hugh laurie, as his character is not in the book/play. much comedy about his time in the domestic survival school ensues. one significant deviation from the original is that at the end, rather than going to meet bertie off screen, we see their reunion. some things have changed – bertie suffered some war wound, he calls jeeves reggie now –, others have not – his whole thingness, how they look into each other’s eyes. they reaffirm their devotion to each other in some ambiguous way, and biff off into the horizon arm in arm.

the film is released on sunday, november 5th.

[mamamittens]

My spooky event has launched!

Very excited to see what y'all come up with! Already very creative ways to interpret my set up for what you can request (positive)!

Anyway, I just had a fun idea, perhaps I'll actually do something with it idk

So, I was thinking about those ghost romances and how they're always so damn tragic. I mean, it's either that or it's a horror story and not the actual end game ship lol

Mostly because of the whole "Can you realistically date someone who can't die when that's all you can do to rectify the disparity--eventually you will grow old and nothing changes a dynamic like literal time itself".

So, picture this, Thatch and Izou purchase a nice place outside of town. Just for the two of them. It's an old building but it's been well taken care of and renovated a few times by various, short term owners. One of those "Oh, this is so nice and cheap--black mold or ghosts?" Kind of situation.

And it's not black mold.

Yeah, a few folks have died, starting back in the late 1800s.

They're not phased in the least by the ominous history or reputation and settle in.

It doesn't take long for shit to start happening.

Stuff getting moved. Doors closing or opening on their own. Footsteps at three in the morning. Fun stuff like that.

After a while they can't pretend nothing is happening and start loudly demanding answers.

All the

"Show yourself!"

And

"Who's here with us?"

Mostly from Thatch cause he's been binging ghost hunting shows. Izou just wants his makeup to stop fucking disappearing.

"Well, at the moment, just me."

Thatch screams startlingly loud and high, stumbling to the floor.

They're in the living room and there, settled neatly on the love seat that came with the house, is a woman. She's faintly glowing, almost translucent. Colors washed out.

Dressed in a white nightgown with a loose dress robe tied neatly at her waist. Dark curls braided down her back. One bare foot and the other hidden in a worn slipper peaking out from beneath the lace trim. She looks tired and slightly apologetic.

"Terrible way to meet, I know, but unfortunately the dead have only a few talents--change not being one of them." She grimaces, adjusting thick glasses on her nose. "And yes. I'm dead. No, I'm not fucking with you. Yes, this house is haunted. No. I did not move your things... Actually, I did move your keys yesterday, but you dropped them on the floor and nearly kicked them under the stove--in my defense."

"...You don't look dead. Well, aside from the ethereal... Whatever you have going on." Izou points out. She sighs, pulling aside her dressing gown, revealing a bloody stab wound to the heart. "Ah. I'm... Sorry. Wait, if it's not you, then who's been fucking with us?"

She shrugs.

"The others. I'm the first, technically the oldest. But I'm hardly an authority. Got two kids--different times but they get along quite well-- a war vet, a couple, and a rude bastard. My bets are the kids or the bastard. The couple.. keep to themselves. And the war vet prefers to watch."

Izou grimaces at that.

"Watch? You don't mean...?" She snorts.

"He's more concerned you're communists, actually. No desire to see you 'fornicating' with a few slurs thrown in. Passed in the fifties." She sort of apologizes with a shrug. "I'm Nikia by the way."

The other ghosts don't usually show themselves. Thatch finds that offering cookies keeps the shenanigans to minimum. Nikia preferring to watch TV with them or read. Quiet company for whoever is home.

Sometimes someone tries to come over specifically to "call upon the spirits" but the boys staunchly turn them away.

They discover that Nikia's death is considered a mystery, her body never found. The kids were both accidents. The vet died of a heart attack. And the couple carbon dioxide inhalation. They usually only start acting up if the fire alarm battery dies, fittingly. Otherwise it's just the kids and Nikia who regularly do anything interesting.

Naturally, they treat their unexpected house mates as family.

Shockingly, the couple are the first to move on after a big family dinner. Thatch left place holders for their 'house mates'. Apparently they always wanted a big family and being included gave them that last push.

The vet went as quietly as he 'lived' after Izou finished setting up his gun collection. Having found peace in seeing the tools of his trade treated so reverently but respectfully with full awareness they were weapons. A world where such things could be decoration rather than defense soothing him into the light. And probably a few "era appropriate reassurances mixing with blatant slurs and racism that's kinda touching if it didn't make you wince to hear it aloud".

The kids disappeared after a very lovely and well decorated Christmas with stand in toys for them to play with. They still kept the toys on the shelves for them, despite the kids having moved on.

Then it was just them and Nikia.

They'd grown close by this point, all three of them. And they were a little nervous about her status in the house.

They didn't want her to go. She was a wonderful companion in an otherwise quiet and too-large house. But there was an undeniable temptation in what could never be.

She's completely intangible. Touching her feels like dipping your hand in icy fog. Only the hazy sensation of her nightgown. The barest breeze where her fingertips lay.

It's not healthy, this "if only" relationship they have.

It is shocking that Thatch is the first to bring it up.

"When are you moving on? Is there something we need to do to... Bring you peace?" He asked hesitantly in front of the fire one night.

Nikia looks at him. Glancing at Izou who seems conflicted by the question. She smiles softly.

"...You already know. I..." She cleared her throat, tears clinging to her lashes. "I liked my peace. My solitude. At the time, it was rare. Unheard of for a good woman to want to be a spinster... Some people took that personally. But I never wanted to be alone like that. Where he must have left me."

She looks out at the woods.

"...you look half dressed... You heard him coming. You ran."

"... I did. Thought I lost him. But, like a rabbit and hunting dog..."

"He found you."

"I lied. When I said the dead can't change. It's just... So limited. The best I could do was hide the knife." Nikia informed them gravely, pulling aside her robe. The stab wound now decorated with the hilt of a fine dagger, bearing a bloodied crest. "He must have buried me with it. I still had both shoes when he killed me."

They spend a month with metal detectors trying to find her.

When they do, they dig her up, finding her decomposed corpse. Knife sliced between her ribs. Skeleton draped in silk and cotton beneath the tangled roots of a gnarled tree.

The cops are called and she's finally put to rest. The knife identified as belonging to a wealthy family at the time with only one suspect with sufficient motive. Her case, closed.

They find her ghost sitting on her tombstone.

She looks so tired.

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

Izou sighs heavily, lowering a bouquet of roses alongside Thatch.

"It was nothing."

"... If it was another time... Would we still have been friends? If we met between the stacks in a library or in line for coffee, instead of like this?"

"We'd be more than friends." Thatch swore softly.

She smiles. Her features warm in the setting sun as she fades away.

They're upset for weeks afterwards. Drinking to what "could have beens" and more.

Until they're dragging out by Marco and Ace under their father's orders, his worry palpable even through phone calls.

Thatch resolves to buy the sappiest romance novel he can to wish fulfill his way out of another hangover.

He reaches for a second hand copy of a book only for his palm to settle over cold fingertips. Startled, he steps back, an apology on his lips.

Only to see a familiar face looking up at him sheepishly. Large glasses low on her nose with pale blue eyes and curly hair died a rich, indigo hue.

"Oop--Ssssssorry. Coffee? I mean, would you like to get coffee with me?" He asks breathlessly. "I'm Thatch--my partner is Izou, by the way, over there." He gestures to the other section, raising his voice just so. Izou glancing back and doing a double take.

He's quick to come over.

"H-Hi, are you new here?" He asks.

"Yeah, just moved in, actually. Not really into coffee but... I'd love to meet up? Make new friends, maybe?" She asks nervously.

"It's no trouble--like, at all!" Thatch reassures quickly.

"Yeah, we'd love to get to know you!" Izou adds in.

Neither of them are sure how this is happening, but she smiles and they know it's real. That crooked smile all too familiar, making her eyes squint and nose wrinkle and flair as she chuckles. Throaty and soft.

This time, this time it'll be different.

It will be better.

[thevibraniumveterans]

《The Mandalorian》 『SEASON 3 : Episode 7 - Chapter 23』 - 「THE SPIES」 // Finale Part 1 of 2

SPOILERS!

Thoughts on rewatch…

Kane being an insider is not surprising. She was always suspicious.

The mention of Grand Admiral Thrawn is by no means a mistake, in light of the Ahsoka trailer at Star Wars Celebration. He’s mentioned quite a few times in this conversation between the Imperials in the room via Hologram. And he is currently somewhere out there, wherever Ezra Bridger might be; which will perfectly lead up to the Ahsoka series.

The mention of Commandant Brendol Hux is no surprise either; he’s gotta be General Hux’s dad, which partially explains how Hux came to be in the First Order in the Sequel Trilogy.

Project Necromancer - no secret code name, it’s for bringing Palpatine back to life. Ian McDiarmid pointed out at Star Wars Celebration 2023 that Palpatine does not like to lose; he will do anything possible to win, even if that means coming back from the dead once again. The mention that Thrawn is “missing” and the Imperials needing “new leadership”obviously points to the inevitable reanimation of Palpatine. “Somehow, Palpatine returned”. Yes, somehow, because the rebels and the New Republic did not know. That was how secretive it was, but we know now how that’s coming along. It’s all falling into place.

The Watch’s light cruiser having the Mythosaur’s logo on the underside of their ship reminds me of how Thrawn also had/has the logo of a Chimaera on his ship. Because what else do you do with a ship that big and when you claim it as your own? You draw a big-ass symbol on the underside of it, that’s what.

It’s also a tad funnier that the Anzellan feels more like a puppet because of the way it looks and moves, as opposed to Grogu, who feels more realistic. But hey, puppets, so.

Grogu repeatedly hitting the yes and no buttons is hilarious! And the fact that he’s hitting it NONSTOP as they walk through the town center is extra funny. Also, Grogu picking up a Meiloorun fruit is by no means an accident; this is foreshadowing the Ahsoka series, since the fruit was first seen in Rebels and also the last time it was seen before this episode.

Bo-Katan speaks up and makes a plan. And it’s not surprising that at first nobody speaks up; but it isn’t until Din “I didn’t want to be here but here I am so I might as well” Djarin offers to join her, that Koska Reeves says she will go too. Only after she has spoken, Axe agrees to go, and so does Paz Vizsla. It’s something that reunites them. The music as they head off-planet is beautifully haunting and confident.

The drop hatch in Bo’s ship opens, and the volunteers look down on the planet they once called home. They shake their head in horror and dismay at what’s left. It’s… really something, to feel secondhand dread and sorrow.

Din spots something in the distance; Bo realizes it’s the Nite Owls, the group she once used to be a part of. But how did she know, and why? They have nothing but a weathered and worn ground transport.

The captain of the Nite Owls recognize Bo and refer to her full title as Lady Bo-Katan Kryze. They do not forget that she was and remains Mandalorian royalty.

During the dinner on the ground transport boat, the captain spoke of the refusal to give up, but Bo drops a verbal and historical bombshell on the entire party: she had to surrender under the choices given to her, in that if she did, her people would be spared. She surrendered, but as the Empire is wont to do, they didn’t care and bombed her world anyway. She did what she thought was the right thing to do, she did what she thought she had to do to save her people, but it still didn’t end right. Bo isn’t usually one for diplomacy and talks for peace - that was her sister Satine’s specialty. However, because Bo did what she thought was right, it still wasn’t right. And she knew this, even if if it was “the only chance” to save her people, according to her. It was her mistake and she owes up to it. She screwed over big time in trying to do what she thought best for her people. What would have happened had she not surrendered? Would she have died earlier?

The captain brings up Death Watch - the very same terrorist splinter group who opposed the peacekeepings of Duchess Satine Kryze. The Armorer notes how “Death Watch exists no longer.”

Bo states, “Our people have suffered time and time again. From division and squabbling factions.” I feel like she is in part referring to how differences between her and her sister Satine - war vs peace - have driven them apart, and now that Satine has long been murdered and gone, it’s caused Bo nothing but pain and loneliness. It’s driven the Mandalorians nowhere but apart. “It is always our own division that destroys us” is a very powerful and deeply regretful statement that Bo makes.

Bo admits her mistake. She is by no means perfect; she’s lost everything, and part of it by her own hubris. “I was selfish. And this is what it wrought,” she laments. When Din speaks to her, she admits to not knowing if she is able to keep the Mandalorians from splintering like they always did. It’s a very heavy duty, weighed down with much sorrow and regret.

Din speaks of the Darksaber: “I only know of this weapon what you taught me. To be honest, it means nothing to me or my people. Nor does station or bloodline. What means more to me is honor. And loyalty. And character. These are the reasons I serve you, Lady Kryze. Your song is not yet written. I will serve you until it is.” The thing about the Darksaber is that what we know of it from the Clone Wars and Rebels is that whosoever wields the blade gets to rule Mandalore, via bloodline and station. Seems like only the Mandalorian royals have held this blade for ages. However, Bo is a princess with a ravaged planet, unsure of leading a fractured people who have never once known peace. Din respects her not because she is a princess, but because of who she is as a person. He sees a loyal warrior who does not want to give up despite all signs pointing to how and why she should. She’s lost everything and deserves nothing yet here she stands on her own two feet, against the world and many more to come. Her story we know but little of, and the fact that Din knows her story is really only just beginning says a lot about her as a Mandalorian herself. Mandalorians do not quit, that much we know.

It feels bright and upbeat and deceptively confident when the series theme music plays as the crew set of in search of the Great Forge.

The fight between Paz and Axe is a foreshadow. And it’s funny that Grogu stops the fight before it gets worse, as he’s technically not a Mandalorian so he’s from “neither” side and so, he could step in. Hilarious how a child can stop two grown men from punching each other’s daylights out.

The Mythosaur emerges! And I like how it serves as an incentive for the Mandalorians to go further into their former civilization.

When the Imperials come in with their jetpacks, the first thing I thought of was that little mini-arc in Rebels where Sabine was revealed to have created some tech for the Empire that had something to do with the Mandalorian beskar armor, whereupon she was like “yeah I did that but I must destroy that tech because it’s bad even though I did it when was in the Academy”

I thought it was cool when the theme song played as Din brought up the back of the war party, and advanced to the front of it, charging headfirst into battle, with Paz and Bo right behind him.

Din is captured and disarmed, and Moff Gideon states, “Thanks to your planet’s rich resources, I have created the next-generation Dark Trooper suit forged from Beskar alloy.” The fact that he says “next-generation” implies that there was a previous generation to begin with. Aka, Sabine’s technology for the Empire that had something to do with Beskar. I don’t know if this is true or false.

Gideon also says, “By aggregating the best of each [cloners, Jedi], I will create an army that will bring order to the galaxy”. That is part of the groundwork for the beginnings of the First Order.

Bo creates a diversion, an escape route, and Paz leads the way out, firing his gatling gun-type blaster cannon like a man with nothing else to lose. He fires repeatedly, and ignores Bo’s orders. His final sacrifice is noble and is no less what is expected of a Mandalorian like him.

The appearance of the Praetorian Guards are no surprise. We last saw them in TLJ, very efficient warriors and guardsmen. Makes sense that they be brought out to bring down the last Mandalorian standing in the room. They waste little energy and leave as quickly as they enter.

========

Finishing thoughts:

I like how this episode went. With the multiple mentions of Thrawn and Hux, the intentional integration of a Meiloorun fruit, and the mention of “next-gen” beskar armor, I really would not be surprised if Thrawn and/or Ezra and/or Ahsoka and/or Sabine make an appearance toward the end of next week’s finale, given the trailer for Ahsoka from Celebration weekend.

Also not surprising that Pedro Pascal and Katie Sackhoff are top-billed this episode. The rest get “co-starring” credits.

One interesting feature is a concept art in the credits showing all the Mandalorians by the fire, and Din and Bo are speaking to each other, his hand on her shoulder. This scene was never in the show. But the overall concept art is amazing in terms of scale, lighting, and detail.

We still have one more episode to go. Emily Swallow, who portrays The Armorer, spoke with Collider during the Lucasfilm panel at Celebration. When asked what she thought fans would think of next week’s finale, she had this to say: “Well, I think there are gonna be some people who are like 'Woohoo! Yeah!'' and some people were like 'I hate this!' this because there always are.” I can’t wait until next week to find out what that is.

[barbarosgirl]

🎭🌌🌊🤝 for all your ocs :)

full list here

Well, this one is gonna be long considering you ask about all of my babies, and I have a lot of them <3

🎭 What is the one thing your OC regrets most? Would they undo it, considering how their life turned out?

Arthur- He's realistic person, he regrets things but knows if he'd redo them (if possible) it would lead to different fucked up scenarios. But the one thing he'll regret for rest of his life was how little time did he have with his lover at the navy.

Edith- The regrets she has are not her own, rather her dumb husband's (Henry's). She regrets he ever brought up the drug deal, she regrets he didn't come back home to her.

Maggie- She regrets the choices she was forced on, what to do, who to kill. Despite thinking and acting for herself brought her nothing but misfortune, she doesn't regret that.

Eugene- His whole childhood is one big regret, even tho he couldn't do anything to change it. Beside that, he regrets leaving Vito, but sometimes you gotta let people go :)

Natalie- So many regrets and redoes she'd love to do, especially when it comes to her family dynamics and what her father wants for her/what she wants for herself. Perhaps if she'd stay away from Empire Bay as her mother begged her to, she'd have less regrets.

🌌 If your OC has a nightmare, what’s it most likely about?

Arthur- Not nightmares, more like sad dreams of What if's and he always wakes into shitty mood after them (tho he's always in shitty mood)

Edith- Always reoccuring patern of nightmares- either Henry's messed up body she had to identify and bury, her daughter getting hurt because of her, or Vinci's people finding her to finish the job

Maggie- She has mostly dreamless nights, but one nightmare does occur once in a while- her family dead by her feet because of her.

Eugene- His.goddamned.father. His whole fucked up family actually, those pricks are his worth nightmares, even worse since they are not dead and constantly hanging over his head with possibility of finding him.

Natalie- There's no nightmares for her, thankfully. The only incident that used to haunt her, she turned around to own it

🌊 Has your OC ever seen the ocean? If not, do they want to? What do they think of it?

Arthur- Too many times and didn't exactly hate it, wasn't keen on it either. From his navy time he has ptsd so ocean now only brings back bad memories and he'd rather watch lake (at least he can be fishing there)

Edith- She came to America like most immigrants on ship, but she was very little so she doesn't remember it. Between her job, family and religious duties she had little time to see the ocean. And when she had the time, her fear of getting discovered prevented her from leaving her house.

Maggie- Before she settled down with Joe, she used to travel a lot. Seeing the endless horizon was her favourite part of any assigment, so she loves the ocean.

Eugene- Seen the ocean and like most of things, he doesn't have negative or positive feelings. He doesn't understand why anybody would be keen staying at beach, watch the ocean, swim or sunbathe. Tho it'd be pretty funny to see him all dressed up at beach with good old Vito :)

Natalie- Her dream was to travel the world, but it changed thanks to the trauma she went through, in the end she never saw ocean and never thought of going to see it, she's pretty happy with the life she made for herself at Empire Bay

🤝 Does your OC have someone they want at their side when they are scared? Who?

Arthur- He doesn't really get scared, but if he'd have to pick someone, he'd go for his SO. (That would be his deceased boyfriend or Henry later on)

Edith- She feels safe with Vito by her side, as Henr can no longer fulfill that job

Maggie- Pretty fearless woman, but she'd lie if she'd say Joe's presence doesn't soothe her nerves

Eugene- Always his mother, before his life was turned upside down he was total mama's boy

Natalie- Her sister, they have each other's backs always <3

[itwoodbeprefect]

decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:

announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.

“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it

rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!

john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly

POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(

i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.

the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.

john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS

teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]

gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?

on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.

anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!

have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.

now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.

life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!

(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)

getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we’re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.

fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.

sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.

rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.

back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.

that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.

final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.

anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.

[geshertzarmeod]

Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles​ made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro.  I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden.  This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan​ . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine.  When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray​ . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

[htownsmash]

Shiggy Horror AU

Part One: Gragoja Island

Part Two

AN: Hey everybody, thank you for taking the time to check out my second collab fic! This will be seperated in a few parts- this is Part One. If you have Interactive Fic extension, replace MC with your name! 💕

NSFW. Warning: Character Death.

To say that you were a horror fanatic was an overstatement. Sure, you usually liked to indulge in spooky stories, horror movies and even weird conspiracy theories every now and then... but you weren’t obsessed. You just enjoyed them.

So when you dragged Kaminari, Tokoyami, Kirishima, Sero and Shinso along with you to help you win the winning ticket to Gragoja Island, they weren’t surprised at all. After an entire afternoon of binging on the required snacks needed, everyone gave you the tickets they had found and cheered when you won! You were beyond excited! And why wouldn’t you be? You just won a round trip to the spookiest island in the country!

In the end, only Tokoyami and Shinso could go and keep you company. The trip there was chaotic thanks to you, but you only laughed and told them to count themselves lucky they had made it there in one piece. “Come on, guys, this is a one in a lifetime opportunity!” You claimed as you took video of the shoreline. You couldn’t help but be fascinated by the state of the abandoned ruins left behind… Why did people leave? How could such a huge place become abandoned?

“Something tragic must have taken place here; the souls of the unsettled gathered together frozen in time like the buildings that surround that place.” Tokoyami pondered out loud as he leaned against the rails of the ship. “How unfortunate that they have to deal with the living invading their private space for entertainment.”

“I think it’s cool,” Shinso broke the silence with a shrug of his shoulders as he closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of the ship rock in the waters. “In a historical kind of way. Maybe it was just population decline or maybe the island couldn’t support them anymore.”

You grinned at Shinso, elbowing him, “of course you’d see it that way.”

“It’s realistic.”

“How long until we get there?” Tokoyami asked, doing his best to mask his excitement.

“Two more hours and then we have to join the first tour.” You answered as you opened your phone. At the top corner you noticed that your phone signal began to weaken the closer you got to the island.

“Is the hotel haunted, too?” Shinso joked, earning a dirty look from both you and Tokoyami.

“- so what we see here is the Shopping District closed down in 1928.” The guide clambered on as your eyes focused on the area they had mentioned. “When the district reopened in 2003 it brought about an economic boom for the island. It became a popular tourist attraction over the next three years until the earthquake of 2007 struck. The city's infrastructure became unstable and again it was closed down the following year.”

You felt a cold draft brush past your neck as your group passed by the end of the district and you did a double take behind you but there was nothing there. Instead you found a doorway slightly ajar and as you grew closer you noticed that it led to a stone staircase. It looked as if it led under the store and down towards a lower section of the district. Before you decided to follow it, Tokoyami tapped your shoulder to catch your attention. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked you, knowing very well what you had been planning to do and you gave him a sheepish grin. “We should get back before we lose the group.”

“Do you think we could come back later and take a look around?” You asked as you followed him back. “I mean, they have to let us have some free time while we’re here.”

“Perhaps they allow the guests to roam around, but don’t you dare think about coming back here. You heard what the guide said.” Tokoyami crossed his arms. “You have no idea what could be down there anyway. It’s not safe.”

You patted his shoulder, hanging off him, “but that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Come on, Fumi, aren’t you curious, too?” You asked him with a slight shake of his shoulders.

He hated to admit that he was, otherwise he never would have joined you on the trip, but there was no way he would allow himself to leave his room after dark. Despite his years of training at U.A. High School, there were moments where Dark Shadow was unpredictable. He shook his head. “You’re not going to convince me so easily.”

The next morning during breakfast you had gathered up with a few strangers at a nearby table. You laughed along with them as you prodded more information about the island and any history that the guide had forgotten or left off. So far your schmoozing had been for nothing and when you saw Shinso enter the dining hall you excused yourself.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked with a yawn as he joined you at their own table, eyeing the menu left on his side.

“I was just being friendly.” You answered absently as you adjusted the settings on your phone, doing your best to test the connection. Two and a half bars. It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. “Hey, let’s take a selfie.” You suggested, coming up with a thousand excuses or ideas to get him to join your little expedition. If Tokoyami refused to go, you knew Shinso would be your man.

The first night had been uneventful. The most satisfying moment would have been finding out what was at the bottom of the stairs, like an escape room, a mass of tunnels or even a skeleton! Nothing, it had just been a part of a flooded basement. The disappointment alone sent you and Shinso back.

Your luck was going to change! Tonight was going to be different! You could feel it. You turned to Shinso as he crouched behind you, taking a moment to look behind him before you went on ahead.

The window to a nearby shop had been already smashed and carefully you two made your way inside. You took Shinso’s hand as you made sure he wouldn’t hurt himself on the jagged glass. ”It’s pretty dusty in here.” He commented, pinching his nose at the strange smell that surrounded the room. “Do you smell that?”

“Smell what?” You asked curiously, taking a moment to sniff the air around you. “It’s probably mold or something.”

“No…” Shinso tried to place it. “It smells like something decaying.”

You took another sniff but didn’t smell anything. You pulled out your phone and turned on the flashlight. “Could be an animal or maybe dead rats? There were a couple of restaurants here.”

“What are you even looking for?” He asked as he followed behind. He felt uneasy as they made their way through the various shops.

“We can’t go home without a souvenir,” you replied with a cheeky grin. “Besides, I want to bring something back to show Kaminari.”

Shinso sighed, “just bring him that winebottle and tell him it’s haunted.” He pointed to the destroyed shelf behind the bar.

“Don’t be a partypooper.” You teased as you made your way across the creaky wooden floorboards. Suddenly, you heard a snap and cried out as the floor gave out from under you. You landed on your side, effectively breaking your phone in the process and you cursed and whined as pain shot through your arm.

“MC!” Shinso carefully peered down the hole. “Are you alright? I’m coming down there!” He said as he readied himself to jump down the hole.

You looked up at him and noticed a shadow right next to him also peering down at you. You lied there frozen as it’s red eyes glinted in the darkness and when you blinked, it was gone.

Shinso grunted as he landed on his feet, “shit… I’m gonna feel that in the morning.” He mumbled to himself as he bent down beside you. “Let me see.”

“Did you see that?” You asked him.

“What?”

“It was right next to you!” You gripped the front of his shirt. “We have to get out of here.”

Check out the rest of the masterlist! 💕

[krowfics]

A Scare and A Treat

Fandom: MLP:FiM

Ship: Diamond Tiara x Scootaloo, background Sweetie Belle x Apple Bloom

Plot: Scootaloo is a scare actor at a haunted house, her friends and marefriend come to get a good fright but Diamond in unbelievably distracted.

Words: 1807

Notes: Shameless Fanfic Trope AU (you do not need to read anything else in this au to get this), mild description of fake gore effects (blood, injuries, weapons, eye stuff, ect), friendly bickering, scary clowns, kissing, food, barely edited! like i read through it once-

AU stuff: Apple Bloom is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, Sweetie and Diamond are close and mess with each other a lot, Scootaloo is punk but it barely shows up in this

FiMfiction

~~~

Sweetie Belle huffed at Apple Bloom's insistent hushing.

"It's all fake, Bloom." she clearly tried for reassuring, perhaps annoyed, but it came out awfully fond, "You know how they're made, your family has a haunt every year."

"Ah know, Sweets but it's different." They argued quietly, "Some of these props are way more realistic. What if they're actually dead ponies?"

"Then something interesting might happen." Diamond Tiara huffed.

The couple blinked over at her then. Some horrid, confused shock on Apple Bloom's face and mild but unimpressed disgust on Sweetie Belle's.

Diamond rolled her eyes, "Did you forget I was here again?"

Apple Bloom opened her mouth, "No-"

"You make it so easy to." Sweetie stated. The boujee appearance lasted for a few seconds before she snickered.

"Yeah yeah," Diamond laughed back, "In my defense, you're too distracted to even see the blood dripping down the walls let alone your lonesome third wheel."

"And what a pretty distraction they are." Sweetie Belle deliberately glanced at her partner, who flushed an amusing shade of red.

"Gross." Diamond stated.

"Like you're gonna be much better."

A small part of Diamond wanted to argue, but she wasn't entirely sure the unicorn was wrong.

Logically, she should be scared, or atleast unsettled, this haunted house was far more realistic and gruesome than the Apple family's maze ever is. It was next to impossible to figure out where the scare actors would jump out from, even harder to tell which bodies were fake and which were costumed ponies lying in wait.

Diamond did get a little startled the few times somepony thought to be inanimate suddenly snarled at her, but it wasn't true fear and it left her after a moment with a little wave to the actor with an awkward smile and she kept on her way.

She wasn't bored. She wasn't. She was just playing it off as that. She liked horror movies, or rather she liked watching horror movies with her marefreind clinging to her. The other fully loved to let herself be scared, the adrenaline junky that she is, despite the fact that none of this stuff really bothered her. If it did, Scootaloo probably wouldn't be a scare actor herself.

And that's why the trio was there and not at the Apple family's hay maze, though they’d probably trott through it later. Partly because they were curious to see a more mature haunted house, mostly because Scootaloo was so unbelievably excited to be a scare actor here that her friends and marefriend had to come to see her. Or be scared by her, judging by the couples reactions thus far.

So Diamond was not bored, but she might have been distracted. She hadn't seen Scootaloo all day, both busy with their costumes. Diamond wasn't going to wear anything but Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and even Silver Spoon insisted she should. Though Silvey's vote shouldn't count considering she shot down the invite to come like it had attacked her.

Under the peer pressure, Diamond fished out some face & coat paint and some old, fluffy, black boots. Painting whiskers on her face and her ears black, and wearing those shoes, she was the laziest excuse for a black cat costume. She was still cute, mind you, but there was a clear difference in effort put in when she stood next to the matching skeleton couple who went all out for the holiday.

Diamond tried to focus on the props and decorations, trying to distract herself from the foal-like excitement of seeing her marefriend, and attempting to distract herself from the cuddly couple. Though it was admittedly amusing to see Sweetie Belle going from calm and collected, trying to help the other relax, only to hear her scream just as loud as Apple Bloom when an undead clown came towards them.

Diamond pulled her attention away from a blood splattered design on the wall when she realized the clown was attempting to scare her now. She blinked, feeling a bit bad that she really wasn't frightened despite the admittedly unsettling eye dangling from it's socket.

"Um, nice eye effect." she said before trotting right passed him to continue on.

It was stupid to be so preoccupied with her own longing. So she hadn't seen Scootaloo all day, she had gone on longer before, it was no big deal. Except Scootaloo kissed her goodbye last night, after spending at least an hour adorably rambling on about this haunted house, kissing her like that was just how dating ponies said goodbye, because it was. Like she was going to kiss her like that every time they parted ways, leaving Diamond dazed and giddy like some love sick fool.

Judging by her current distraction, that seemed to be an apt description.

Diamond wanted to kiss her again. The moment she saw her, no matter what dramatic makeup she has on. She wouldn’t, special effect make up did not seem like it would lend well to smashing their faces together, and also Scootaloo was at work and Diamond was fairly certain Scootaloo would be at least a little peeved if she ruined this for her. Besides, there was a donut and apple cider stand outside that Scootaloo said she could wait at until the pegasus got off work and out of costume.

The filly stopped suddenly, nearly walking right into another scare actor. “Sorry.” She blurted, stepping back.

The trio had been confronted by three ponies, looking to be in varying levels of rotten and dead, still all clowns for some reason. The clearly most frightening one was in the middle. A fake mouth filled with monstrous teeth looked akin to a gash across her face, she wore colored contacts making one eye fully black and the other completely white. She was covered in spikes, presumably because nopony could convince her to dress any less punk rock even when she was literally dressed as a messed up version of a children’s entertainer. And there was quite a bit of blood, and a hacksaw covered in more blood. 

It was impressive and terrifying. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had screamed and outright looked like they were going to turn tail and run. Diamond’s chest felt like it had been punched out of air.

“Hi, Loo.” She said softly, completely by accident.

Scootaloo snapped her gaze toward her, laughing, in a monstrous laugh that Diamond had helped her practice for so really, who was she fooling? 

“Um- Nice make up, all of you.” She glanced at the other two, “Very scary.”

One of the other ponies growled, jumping forward in an over exaggerated movement, sending the couple screeching in fear. 

Scootaloo stalked forward threateningly. Inches away from her face, Diamond's heart stuttered. She just stared into the others mismatched eyes, trying desperately to not think of a dream scenario where Scootaloo is out of costume pushing her against a wall with her gaze alone.

Scootaloo ended her display with a minute lunge of the saw and a snarl that turned into a hacking laugh.

"I'll uh- see you later, Loo." Diamond said numbly, walking passed the performers.

They were all quiet as they walked. 

"Sweet Celestia, I can't believe you." Sweetie laughed suddenly.

"Shut it, Sweetie!" Diamond screeched, face flushing.

"And you thought we were bad-"

"At least, I wasn't screaming my lungs out."

"Hey!" Apple Bloom cut it, "The make up was very convincing." 

"Of what? My marefreind being a clown?"

Sweetie shrugged, "I actually think they all had the most dramatic costumes in the whole haunt. Hence that." She nodded to the door ahead, "They were the grand finally."

Diamond pushed the door open, blinking blearily at the light from outside. There were a few haunt actors strewn about, some bales of hay arranged for seating areas, and that cider stand probably run by one of Apple Bloom's cousins.

"Really, did none of that scare ya?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I was distracted." Diamond defended.

Sweetie laughed again, "You’re hopeless."

Diamond looked over at them, the couples sides pressed together, leaning on each other. "Pot meet kettle."

Sweetie stuck her tongue out then. Diamond rolled her eyes with a chuckle and trotted over to get something from the stand.

The three waited for a while over donuts and cider. Diamond was right, the pony running the stand had been one of Apple Bloom's cousins. He and Apple Bloom had talked for a bit as Diamond and Sweetie found someplace to sit, which wasn't hard being that it was still early in the evening and the real crowds didn't come until after sunset.

Once Apple Bloom came over, treats in tow and chattering away about their cousin, the pair started properly cuddling. The earth pony tucked themself into Sweetie's side and Sweetie in turn rested her muzzle in their mane.

Diamond caught Sweetie's eye and fake gagged at their cuteness. Sweetie squinted at her teasingly before refocusing on her partner. Diamond tried to focus on her friend speaking, she really did, but her mind kept going to the filly in gory clown makeup.

Her eyes snapped to the distance when she saw a few ponies stepping out of a door. A few moments later and a mental mane peaks out from behind it. Scootaloo was laughing at something one of her co-workers said, she then waved goodbye to them and started her trot to the cider stand.

Diamond was standing before she knew it. Distantly, she was aware that she was being pathetic but she couldn't help trotting over and meeting Scootaloo halfway despite the fact that Apple Bloom was in the middle of their sentence.

"Hey, D." Scootaloo said when they’re stopped in front of each other, "You didn't seem very scared." She laughed a bit.

"I was distracted." Diamond moved forward to lean her head against the other’s shoulder.

"By what? Bloody marefriend not enough for you?" Scootaloo's hoof came to rest on Diamond's mane.

"I missed you." she admitted.

"We saw each other last night?"

Diamond groaned, "I know. I'm being dumb, you were scary, I've just spent all day wanting to kiss you and I can't think about anything else." she spat.

"Oh, uh," Scootaloo coughed, "That- Can be arranged."

Diamond lifted her head with determination and leaned in quickly. Scootaloo made a startled little noise but she softened, hoof moving to cradle the other's jaw. Diamond finally relaxed with the familiar lips slotted against her own, she sighed in what could only be described as relief.

A loud ‘woop’ was heard from behind the pegasus, she broke away quickly to yell over her shoulder, "Biscuit! I swear to Celestia!"

Diamond really couldn't help the hysterical giggles she broke into at that, and when Scootaloo's gaze turned back to her soft and loving, she really didn't feel all that bad.

~~~

you don’t understand. I wasnt going to write anything for halloween because i was focusing on a sander sides fic for Logan’s birthday, and in my procrastination of that, this morning i woke up and started writing this.

i’ve had a busy day on top of it, i cant believe ive finished this.. happy nightmare night every pony!!! im gonna go sleep now

[the-archetype-of-civilization]

Forgotten and Cast By the Wayside (Drabble/Vent)

I just woke up from a 3 hour nap, something that I should’ve been at least a little bit refreshed from (despite how embarrassing it is that I’ve slept for 3 hours and accomplished none of what I wanted/needed to do today), but I don’t feel that at all.  I have a headache and me eating my dinner late didn’t make it go away.

I didn’t feel good today.  Physically, I’m fine.  Mentally?  Not good.

Today I felt like crying at work today, so occupied with my own thoughts that I wasn’t sure if it was because I hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning, because I barely slept at all, because I really was feeling my loneliness hard, or because it was all three.

I feel like I can control my emotions and know the difference of when I’m tired and hungry, because I would just be annoyed or hangry.  I wasn’t.  I was every bit as depressed and alone than how I was before.

I felt forlorn.

–

Ender stared at the coordinates for so long, he wasn’t sure if the image was burned into his brain for how long his eyes were glued to it.  This was it.  His past made real.  And he really was considering to do it.  What would he gain from this?  What could he possibly achieve by going back?  Reopening old wounds isn’t something that he (nor anybody, for that matter) would be comfortable doing at all.  Especially one where it’s a dead planet.

He would see things that he didn’t want to see.  Go to a place that he should never witness.  Find things…that are best left buried.  Was it worth all the trauma?  Was it worth all of the pain he might inevitably endure?

He needed to confront it.  Here and now.

Ender starts to flip up the switches as the Theseus’ engines and quantum entanglement reactor light up and hum to life.  The door was opening.  He pushes the lever forward as a large a blue portal opened up in front of him into another world of stars.  He breathes out a heavy and shaky sigh as he pulls the ship through.

–

There’s a lot of things that I kept thinking about today that probably didn’t make things better (which is a great mindset to have, right?).  One of them was an essay that a mutual sent to me about…what kind of person I am.  I can assure you that none of it was good.  I had it stowed away somewhere, to remind me never to forget that you can’t let people walk all over you, say whatever they want, nor think things for how they think you are when you really aren’t.

It was hard not to, I can assure you of that.  What if they were right?  What if I really was this awful person that was merely using them for my own gain?  Back then, I was so upset to read that and the more that I thought about it, I had gotten so angry and rage-fueled.  I wanted to scream at work, in my car even, because I was so angry at that.  I wanted to scream so loudly that they would hear from where they were, to know how much needless pain they caused me when I showed them nothing but kindness.  But…I’m glad that I received it, in the end.  It showed that I did respect myself.  That, in some way, I loved myself.  And it made me grow as a person.  I’m indebted to it, as painful as it was coming from someone that I admired and loved.

During those few months when I got a new job, things seemed to be going right and well for me (with its realistic downs, every now and then).  I had been getting better pay, had some good friends and met new ones, I was starting to write a story on FanFiction that I was really motivated and happy to do, and, somewhere down the line, I was inspired to think about making my own video game (one that I had thought about and fleshed out in some way, shape, or form).  Things were great.

Now?  Not so much.

–

This was a mistake, he thought to himself.  I should never have come here to this…hallowed ground. The planet was right there in front of him, covered in white and grey.  No blue, no green, no brown, just those two mute colors that he fully well expected to see from a planet experiencing a nuclear winter that wouldn’t end for years to come.

Flying over the planet, he inches the ship ever closer like he was drawing out the inevitable.  He made up so many excuses: would the ship be able to withstand the radiation?  Were the shields strong enough to withstand it?  Would his armor even protect him from the radiation plaguing the entire planet?  The answer was yes, of course.  But it didn’t make him all the more willing to go down, for reasons that weren’t because of what he listed.

As he inches close to the planet, the large and grey planet loomed in front of his windshield like a siren singing a haunting song to his doom.  A cursed liturgy of the millions that perished during and after that accursed genocide.  That needless genocide.  The storms raged and swirled around on the planet’s surface unforgivably, blizzards burying and drowning out whatever life could ever live on the land.  As Ender pulled the ship in closer to the atmosphere, the storms would continue to rage on, making Ender’s neck sweat hard and his brow drenched.  His throat became dry, and yet he swallowed hard as he gazed at the many maws of the never-ending maelstroms that would open and close, waiting for him to jump in.  Waiting for him to accept.

He hyperventilates a bit as he felt his head become heavy and lightheaded, holding his forehead as he felt the sweat form under his palms.  This was a bad idea, something that he should never have done.  He needed to turn back, to get away from this tainted planet as fast as he could and never come back.  Feeling tears well up in his eyes, he looks down at himself.  He needed to.  He had to.  He knew he had to.  If he didn’t make peace with this…he’ll always be in perpetual torment of this place.  Forever.

Wiping some stray tears from his face, he bites his whited lip as he grips the throttle and pulls into the gaping maws of the blizzard-ridden planet.

–

I don’t want to point this at anyone in particular (but then again, it’s not like they are on this website to my knowledge), but I could narrow it down to another individual that brought me my mental encumbrance.  I remember I was writing my story on FanFiction and there was one reader that seemed to be interested and followed my story for a bit.  But, one day, he decided that my silence on projects and lack of updates was the last straw for him, and he left a rather…brusque review.  One that was very critical of my work and how I operated rather coldly and without any personal OOC comments on the progress of it.

Even if what he said about my story was true, it killed my mojo for writing.  Completely.  And it left me doubting myself and my work.  While I did update and make an OOC post about my plans and the reviewer followed up with an apology, the damage was already done.  And my mood and buzz for writing something that I loved and cherished was killed instantly, by some piece of shit twat that thinks his opinions on products were profound and of the highest mindset in terms of what FanFiction has to offer.  But I think it killed more than just my writing, it killed everything else.  It killed my sense of purpose.

I lost my motivation to do anything and everything.  To be a better person, to keep myself on track, to do what I needed to do, to learn new things.  I had forgotten and abandoned all of it over time once it was all taken away from me.  I felt so worthless and I started to have pity myself again.  Pathetic, right?

And where am I right now, you ask?  Not any better than where I was before, I can tell you that much.

–

The ship shook and shuddered as it descended through the storms, hearing thunder and seeing snow flood his windshield.  Thankfully, his ship was powerful and was able to withstand atmospheres that would tear humans apart in a matter of seconds.  It didn’t make his descent any better.  A part of him hoped that it would be so brutal and ruthless to control that he would leave, but his ship’s shields was taking all of it rather well.  And it made a pit in his stomach.

There was no ground that he could see, even when he was below the clouds.  The snow drowned and flooded his screen without mercy, the fog covering what landscape there may (or may not) have been.  And the more he perused and observed the surface, the more dread he began to feel.  He drew closer to his coordinates by the minute and it felt so wrong.

The closer he got to his destination, the more unrecognizable the land around him became.  There was no familiar valley or hills that he had grew up on, no houses, no trees (of course not), no anything that would even remotely remind him of this once…sacred place.  And he only knew that things were just going to get worse, his head and body starting to sweat as he felt himself whimper a bit with every moment he was here.  This was true agony for him.  Merciless trauma.

Once he had arrived, he lands the ship as his right leg was bouncing on the floor impatiently and nervously.  This was the worst idea he could’ve possibly come up with and decided to do.  He storms out from the helm as he was panting intensely from whatever await him outside.  Putting on his armor he heads out to the landing pad and looks at the switch.  He stares at it for so long, knowing that only pain and anguish would await him outside.  His armor could brave the weather…but he wasn’t strong enough to find what lay ahead.  He knew it for a fact.

…I’ve come this far…

He pulls the switch as the nuclear winds flooded through the dock.

--

Today was something that I felt hard.  Something that I thought I was better at ignoring and knowing fully well wasn’t the truth.  But it was something...that seemed tangible to me, and something that drew a horrible realization.  I felt so alone, today.  I care about people way too much more than others do about me.  I tried messaging some friends on Discord, hoping that they were doing well.  They replied...but that voice in the back of my head is too convincing for my own good.

It felt like I was bothering them, annoying them with my presence.  They probably had better things to do and wanted to be left alone by some stupid idiot that was being an annoyance on their lives.

Whether this was true or not, it hit me that...I don’t think anyone really cares.  No one cares.  About me.  I had never felt more mortal and alone than in those moments at my work.  That, truly, my presence didn’t matter to anybody or my friends.  Don’t mistake this as suicide, because I would never do that.  But...if I disappeared tomorrow, would anyone really notice?  Would anyone ever look for me?  Would anyone actually care that I was gone?  How long would it take before they noticed that I’m not there anymore?  Not just on Discord, but on Tumblr.  Does anyone really care?

My existence is fleeting and I don't see a point of me being here. Why am I here? And it was at that moment that my suspicions about myself were true: I’m just a forlorn, forgotten, unwilling hermit.  I try to help and console as many of my friends and strangers as I can, because it’s what I enjoy doing.  I enjoy making people happy and trying to help them through their problems.  But they are so quick to move on with their lives...that I’m left behind.  And that’s all I’ll be good for: a counselor.

I’ll still be in my cold, empty, barren head even when I invite myself over to other people’s problems.  My sense of purpose and belonging only happens when I rudely invite myself into helping other people and initiate conversation first.  And although there are a small few that would take the chance and the time to talk to me, it still feels like they do it out of principle rather than because of genuine interest.  No one would even bother to talk to me first, invite me to places first, or join in on my sessions willingly.

I haven’t felt more forsaken or abandoned in my life.

--

“Radiation levels: extreme.  Adjusting radiation intake” his armor computer chimed.

Ender didn’t feel anything when the winds blew through.  And the blizzard quickly piled up near the end of the landing pad.  But it didn’t worry him...his head was filled with too many other worries than something as trivial as this.  He takes a step forward, then pulls it back as he sighs heavily.  He had to.  He just had to.

He takes a few steps forward and continued to slowly walk until he was outside.  The blizzard and winds lightly pushed and rolled over him, but that was thanks to his armor.  If he didn’t have this on, it would have sent him flying.  He looks around him, seeing the grey snow-covered landscape of the familiar hills and valleys completely changing whatever it may have been before.

Home.

The grey clouds and storms coated the entire horizon all around around him, seeing nothing but a barren wasteland with no sky or stars to be seen here.  Hallowed ground, indeed.  Ender pulls out his wrist pad to find the coordinates.  It was a short walk away.  And God, did he want to retreat.  But he had already come this far...he had to make his amends.

Trudging through the snow, he makes his way over to that place...his house.  The very place where he was born and raised in.  Looking up from his wrist pad, there was nothing of the sort here.  No house, no anything.  Just a pile of snow that had covered this now hundreds-of-years old planet.  He felt some tears well up in his eyes as he looked at it.  His home was gone, this place buried under the weight of a world that refused to move on.  A world that refused to accept humanity and ignore their menial and needless gripes against one another.

Ashen snow of a dead planet.

He goes over to where his house would be as he takes a knee and leans his head down.  Nothing here to remember what this place was when the nukes dropped.  Nothing at all.  And it hurt him, to know that his past, his childhood, whatever made him happy, was completely burnt away to a crisp and buried under this cursed snow.  He sighs shakily as some tears coursed down his cheek.

Ender gently places his hand on a part of the snow as he hangs his head down.  He missed them.  He missed his family so much.  His mom, his dad, and his sister.  They had all wasted away here...what happened when the missiles were coming?  Did they brace themselves?  Did they try to hide?  What did they do?

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you guys...I’m...I’m so sorry...” he muttered and barely could speak out, his eyes welling up even more as he hung his head lower.

Then...he felt something under his hand as it sunk into the snow.  Something solid.  Tangible.

--

I was weak.

And I still am.  I let these stupid emotions get to me when I know better than to let it happen as it has so many times.  It’s hard for me to control my emotions when I’m...so emotional, you know?  I really feel things for people, sometimes overtly and sometimes not so overtly.  Not many people would agree with me on that, I’m sure, but I’m telling you how I see myself.

I hate myself so much, sometimes.  I hate that I care so much.  I hate that I let myself get this way, just venting and talking about shit that no one couldn’t give less of a shit about.  I hate using a story that I’ve wanted to write for a while about my muse (my Gary Stue, honestly) as an excuse to vent over shit that I’m sure many have glossed over.

It’s pathetic.

But it’s the only way I know how to be upfront and honest with people.  And...I wanted to create something different, experimental.  To see how I would feel about writing a pivotal plot point with my muse, as well as myself, I suppose.  I enjoy writing stories, but who reads them?  Much like the death of Keats, who mourns for Adonais?  I’m not proclaiming myself to be anything special of the sort, but who cares?  No one does.  I just talk into a void, hoping that it’ll answer back.  And it might not ever.

Ender is a muse that I really care for, one that I feel like I’ve grown up to be like almost as much as he has with me.  But we all like to roleplay as those that we are not, right?  He gets all the ladies (with their permission and consent, of course), he travels and goes to wherever he wants endlessly, and he gains friends and lovers wherever he goes.  I don’t believe that I’m that at all.  I’m not bold, I’m not brave, I’m not flirty, I’m not saucy, I’m not adventurous, and I’m certainly not strong.  I’m me, the same person I’ve been for 9 years since I’ve made this blog.

I’m still me...

--

What was this under his hand?  It felt...soft, but also hard.  It was bizarre, but also frightening.  Perhaps a piece of debris?  Ender grabs onto it firmly and pulls it out from the snow.  It was a decent clump of something, covered in snow of course.  But he couldn’t make out what it was.  A rock?

He starts to brush it off to see what it was.  The more he brushed it, the more he saw of what it was.

--

Sometimes I’m not proud of this blog or my muse, either.  I feel like he can be a one-trick pony for smut.  But I enjoy smut.  I enjoy loving and being loved.  Also, it’s fun.  Because it’s something that I’ve only experienced doing a few times in my miserable 25 years.  And I enjoy doing something that promotes pleasure and happiness, rather than something depressing, something that can hurt you, or something that can destroy you.  It’s also why I like fluff.  It makes me happy to see him and the other happy.

--

He started to brush it more and notices...tendrils?  What?  That didn’t make sense.  He brushes it some more and started to see that it was...hard.  Hard, but not rocky.  It was something else.  And it was interlocked and linked to something as well.  He started wipe it off some more until he slowly started to realize what it was.

--

Why am I still on this blog?  It feels like I always invite myself to RP with others that don’t really care or RP with me out of principle sometimes.  It feels like I’m bothering them, especially given the track record that my blog has.  Forget about RPing with canon blogs, something that I always want to do and would like to see myself get involved it.  But it’ll never happen, because...well, OC.  And a self-insert, for all intents and purposes. And I'm still wary about asking to RP with other OCs because of said track record. You only need to scroll a little to see what I'm famous for (or INfamous for, I should say). It's dumb.

--

It was a hand.  A skeleton hand.  And it was...holding another hand.  Ender felt his heart sink and tears started to well up under his eyes.

“...m...mo...mom?  Da...dad?” he could barely utter out.

There was a small, deeply burnt sear on the ring-finger of one of the hands.

--

I don’t know why I’ve continued for this long...

--

“N...No...oh...oh God...oh my God...oh my God!” he sobbed out quietly until he holds the hands tightly and presses it to his helmet.  He felt the tears streaming down his cheek as he sobs hard, pressing his helmeted forehead to it, hoping to feel something.  But the glass protected him from whatever radiation it surely housed.  To have something be between him and his parents...it was painful.  He presses a kiss against his helmet as he presses the joined hands to his helmet, but he couldn’t feel anything.  He hoped they did.  It only made it worse for him.

His sobs descended into screams of pain and sorrow, wanting to drown out the bitter storm that drove on around him.  He wanted to scream over this blizzard that flooded all sounds around him.  He wanted to scream against this dead planet so it could be heard around the world.  He wanted to scream so that his family could hear it in the next life...if one existed.

He wanted to be heard.

But nothing did.

[carrollstreetstation]

blood: a level-by-level breakdown

episode 1: the way of all flesh

the first episode, and the one included in the shareware version. like a lot of shareware episodes, it's generally a sort of mishmash of themes and ideas to provide a reasonable cross section of what a potential buyer could expect from the full game, introducing a small selection of enemies (zombies, the basic cultist and his tommygun counterpart, gargoyles, as well as minor menaces such as rats, the zombie fish, bats and a single grasping hand) as well as about half of the arsenal (up to and including the napalm launcher.) the name is a euphemism (actually a mistranslation from hebrew) for dying.

E1M1: cradle to grave (james wilson) almost every classic FPS game's first level is iconic and the subject of many remakes in other games. let's face it, there's few things a mapper covets more than the E1M1 slot. so here we are with caleb RISING FROM HIS GRAVE. the level is a cemetary and associated funeral home, rather short compared to the immediate next level, but twisting nicely in on itself. the opening room is surprisingly non-descript, just a simple, small crypt. duke nukem 3D in contrast might have dumped you on a fairly blank rooftop but it was a much more dynamic introduction to the game.

after a short couple of encounters in a cemetary you enter the funeral home proper. the chapel is where you get your first taste of the game's tendency to have enemies ambush you from above. up the stairs, past the organ, and through the mortuary, eventually winding up in a small crypt behind the building that leads to the exit. short and simple, but introducing some of the basics -- combat, enemies, secrets, while also showcasing a bit of the game's blackly morbid humor. by 1997 standards it's a gorgeously realized opener, with excellent use of texturing to create a gloomy, creepy setting to shoot zombies in.

E1M2: wrong side of the tracks (craig hubbard) this is where the game really starts to pick up. flowing smartly from the first level -- you start in the same spot you ended the last level, only now the way you came in is sealed off -- you start the level working your way down some train tracks; zombies and cultists stand in your way, and they've been offloading barrels with corpses in them, visible through the glass pane in the side (a reference to the classic zombie film "return of the living dead.") eventually you wind your way around to the front of 'miskatonic station' (heh) and it's lousy with tchernobog troops. they're not just gunning for you either, the zombies are swarming the nameless sadsack innocents that the cult has enslaved.

shoot your way through the station to the incoherent sound of announcements over the PA speaker, answer obscene calls on the public phones, check out pickman's bookshop and stop in for a bit at cask of amontillado. some really good moments here, such as the swarm of zombies breaking through the walls in the foreman's office and the bats flying out of the access tunnel leading off the tracks. it's also one of the best examples of the build engine era's attempts at creating realistic, every-day places to shoot things in.

E1M3: phantom express (james wilson) you've boarded a train and now you have to find a way to get into the engine car. a great opener as the train runs over some hapless folk stuck on the tracks. while the level is literally linear by necessity, it's still a rip-roaring good time as you clear out the cars one by one, culminating in an all-out shootout in the dining car in the back. for 1997 this level was extremely technically impressive; using a conveyor belt effect, they've created the impressive illusion that you're on a fast-moving train across the country. if you fall off, you die, so don't fall off. the conclusion of the level is quite dynamic, as you overload the engine and it explodes, ending the level.

E1M4: dark carnival (kevin kilstrom with revisions by james wilson) blood's pitch black sense of humor is on full display here. after the train derails you pick your way through the ruins until you reach a dark carnival full of wonders. a ghastly ticket collector sics zombies on you after you jump the line, and more zombies and cultists (and mimes) crowd the carnival from end to end. the midway has games of chance -- a shooting gallery, or the opportunity to field goal some severed heads for a prize. in the big tent is the tightrope over a pit of snakes, the big act of everyone's favorite circus freak, jojo the idiot boy. this is also where you meet your first gargoyles, when the carousel comes to life -- a good scare, there. on the way out, you have your options of where to go, even though the bridge collapsed: take a dive and swim to the exit, or cross the remains of the bridge to the secret level, provided you've found and remember the passcode. also: a delightfully vicious secret duke nukem cameo.

E1M8: house of horrors (james wilson) in case you weren't done with the carnival theme, E1M8 provides you with the ultimate carnival ride. the opener is pretty great, with a big horrible clown mouth you have to climb through; the walls are fleshy and gross, giving you the sense that maybe this might be more than just a carnival ride... it's an extremely linear affair as the water ride ferries you down a long winding tunnel, complete with ambushes and a few hilariously ineffectual jumpscares. the finale has you jumping out a window into a back lot for a big showdown before finding your way back to the regular ending of E1M4.

E1M5: hallowed grounds (nick newhard, craig hubbard, terry hamel) a major thematic change, one taking more after doom or quake than the usual "duke nukem for goths" that this game is. on rare occasion (well, half of episode four does it) the game decides music isn't necessary and turns it off for a level. deep, gutteral chanting, wind and thunder are your only soundtrack as you blast your way through a creepy temple. the cult's armies are out in full force here, lurking around every corner and coming at you in packs, with lots of ambushes from above and below. it's a long, winding nightmare that repeatedly loops in on itself. there are a few hints on how to complete the level, and you'd better heed them, because choosing the wrong door at the finale means fiery death. it's all burning torches and glowing candles, making this level a dark, moody affair, and one of the best-looking in the game.

E1M6: the great temple (terry hamel with revisions by james wilson) the climax of the episode is a big quake-style temple in the mountain, initially a linear affair as you work your way through some caverns up into the temple proper, only to switch back on itself several times. zombies, cultists and gargoyles are absolutely freaking everywhere. the level is highly reminiscent of quake in both layout and aesthetic, though as you near the upper areas and get a good look at just how high up you are it takes on a different vibe. plenty of traps, indiana jones style; plenty of firefights too, the best one being a huge shitshow in a room with a ramp that lines the walls, every inch of it covered in assholes to blow up -- and there's a dual akimbo powerup right there for you to grab.

E1M7: altar of stone (james wilson) the grand finale is just a simple boss level, though it'd make a good bloodbath level with its round shape, height variations and small dimensions. other than a couple of trash mobs nothing much happens until you step onto the central platform, at which point the biggest enemy you've seen yet, the huge stone gargoyle cheogh, comes after you. he doesn't have much in the way of attacks -- mostly just flies around and shoots electric blasts out of his eyes -- but he takes an enormous amount of punishment, shrugging off even your napalm launcher. upon prevailing, you're treated to a CGI cutscene that's far darker than its goofy early-90s models give it credit for.

final thoughts: for a shareware episode this is a fairly eclectic offering. the cemetary level sets the tone for the rest of the episode, but it's the train station that most ties in with the game's roots as a horror-themed response to duke3D. the train level is a technical marvel by 1997 standards, but it's probably the carnival levels (which are a clear reference to "something wicked this way comes") that give the episode its most iconic images, as carnival themes keep popping up. the back half of the episode with its sprawling temples really drive home the gothic horror vibe that the game goes for, as well as showcasing some of the more creative level design. if you're in 1997 and you're trying to decide if this game is right for you, this grab bag of a shareware episode should give you a good idea of what you're in for.

episode two: even death may die

while E1M1 is iconic, the entirety of episode 2 is equally so. set in the frigid north, with whole-level references to some of the most iconic horror tales ever written ("frankenstein," "the shining,") it's a departure from the first episode in that the theming is consistent throughout. even the haunted house level is surrounded by snow and cold. it also introduces several new enemies: the bloated zombie, the giant fish monsters, spiders, and most notably, the phantasm, a terrifying ghost that's only able to be hurt when it's about to attack you. the arsenal gets filled out a bit as well -- you now can use the special dynamite types as well as the ever-popular aerosol can flamethrower, plus the voodoo doll.

E2M1: shipwrecked (craig hubbard) the frozen north theme hits you like cold wind in the face, starting you out on a tiny boat heading towards a big wooden ship, locked in the ice (and named the HMS victor, in keeping with the obvious frankenstein ref.) while there's a few treats in the water, most of the level is spent exploring the relatively small ship, moving from fore to aft and back again as you collect keys and open up new rooms. your first encounter with gillbeasts will probably be in the small, flooded room at the fore, a nasty place to meet such a dangerous enemy. the finale is nonsensical, but kinda cool, and a quick swim later you're at the entrance to the next level.

E2M2: the lumber mill (craig hubbard) a quick little romp around a lumber mill, as the title suggests. mostly a small compound of small buildings, you'll be working your way around and through them, visiting each one in turn and clearing them out. first introduction of "bloated butchers" -- fat zombies with toxic puke and big cleavers that they throw at you. these guys can take a hell of a beating before going down. fun, short little level that exemplifies the exploratory focus a lot of these older FPS games had. good bit of humor to be had by the outhouses.

E2M3: rest for the wicked (kevin kilstrom and craig hubbard) it took me a long time to figure out what the hell this was supposed to be. essentially it's a prelude to the next level, a small hedge maze and resort complete with pool, hot tub, and the like -- all frozen over, of course. it's very restful with between 43 to 105 enemies running around. the hedge maze makes up most of the first part of the level, before switching over to the resort area, and then looping back around, finally sending you back to the start of the level, where you unlock a gate that leads to the exit. looming in the distance is a big old house, with one light on upstairs, and something in the window watching you...

E2M4: the overlooked hotel (kevin kilstrom with revisions by craig hubbard) zero points for guessing what this level is a reference to -- especially with that frozen guy in the hedge maze. the hedges aren't all that interesting otherwise, but once you get into the hotel proper the level really opens up, with an extremely non-linear layout for you to explore. not only that, but a series of very obvious secret passages basically connect the entire hotel, making it possible to duck in and out of rooms at will. this is also another example of the game making secret exits require a little bit of thought -- you need to find five tomes hidden around the hotel to unlock a portal. some good scares and creepy moments in this level, mostly based on "the shining," but my favorite is the library, the stacks illuminated by suspended lanterns, except for one in the far back, the chain swinging uselessly, with phantasms lurking in the shadow.

E2M9: thin ice (james wilson) if you liked the frozen sea from E2M1, you'll like this level, a big twisting network of caverns and cliffs overlooking a frozen lake. not much in the way of civilization here, but plenty of goons to shoot through. not a very visually interesting level, but it's fun to throw a dynamite plunger and watch chunks of ice break off and float to the other side of the lake. towards the end things get treacherous as you have to make some daring jumps from one jagged ice peak to the next.

E2M5: the haunting (james wilson and kevin kilstrom) while blood is primarily an action game, the developers did not at all forget that this is a loving pastiche of the horror genre, and as such have crafted one of the creepiest levels in the game, and my personal favorite of this episode. a sprawling old manor with a detached guest house, the enemy count is surprisingly low for the most part, allowing for a slow buildup of tension as you first work your way through a creepy hedgemaze, past the guest house (the same house you saw at the end of E2M3 in fact) and eventually into the mansion proper. it's all dark tunnels and cobwebs everywhere, most of the windows boarded up. phantasms lurk about upstairs, you can hear what sounds like hundreds of rats in the walls of the basement, and when you finally access that mysterious guest house...

if there's a level that most exemplifies what a creative mapper can do to scare people with the limited technology of the mid-90s, this is it.

E2M6: the cold rush (james wilson) after the open-ended nightmare that was E2M5, E2M6's little mining compound nestled in the cliffs is a refreshingly short little jaunt that's somewhat reminiscent of E2M9. at first the camp building (the sole structure) is inaccessible, requiring an extended detour of hopping from ledge to ledge around some perilously steep cliffs, eventually finding the key in a cave, which allows you to access the building proper. lots of gargoyles flying about to irritate you, along with the usual zombie/cultist trash. fun little surprise flamethrower trap when you go to look in a mirror, complete with crawling hands coming out of the walls to choke the life out of you. opening up the locked gate to the mine proper offers a real sense of forboding for such a simple effect -- but we're nearing the end, now.

E2M7: bowels of the earth (james wilson) the penultimate level of the episode is appropriately epic in scope: a long, mostly linear journey through a dark, seemingly abandoned mine that's already partially collapsed. while abandoned mining equipment has been left lying around here and there, for the most part this is a generally featureless series of tunnels and chambers, though towards the end it starts taking on a more concrete identity with a big underground waterfall as a major setpiece and some long-abandoned temple ruins. trash mobs are everywhere, including a great ambush early on where the tunnel collapses and zombies break out of the walls to surround you. at the end of your journey you're rewarded with what looks like a huge temple, with a swarm of spiders (and a stone gargoyle) crawling out of the darkened entryway. the lair of shial is near...

E2M8: the lair of shial (james wilson) like E1M7, the final level of the episode is just a small arena, though in this case it's a much more convoluted knot of twisting tunnels and chambers, with a huge spider nest in a small chamber that overlooks the bigger starting room. in that nest is shial, mother of spiders, and your boss for this episode. compared to cheogh she's much easier to deal with -- she moves slower and mostly sends swarms of spiders after you. and unlike cheogh, it's much easier to send her bouncing around with napalm launcher fire, thanks to her much smaller size. once she's been squashed, you're treated to another CGI cutscene, caleb cracking wise with an andrew dice clay reference of all things.

final thoughts: episode 2 is probably my favorite of the four original episodes. it's a gorgeously realized trek through varied settings that fit very well into the far north/winter theme. while craig and kevin's early levels are all great, it's james' later levels where the episode truly shines. hinting at the guest house of E2M5 as far back as E2M3 with two, if not three levels in between, was a great touch, and the way it teases you throughout E2M5 until you finally find the house key adds a little bit of power to a scene that otherwise might have been just another grisly moment in a game full of them.

episode 3: farewell to arms

episode 2 might have been cold and dark, but episode 3, in contrast, is positively explosive. this is probably where the game comes closest to its roots as a horror take on duke nukem 3D. set predominantly in a town somewhere in france, you'll spend a lot of time fighting in and around the streets, working your way through commercial businesses and other things you would expect to find in a small city. the cabal have come for war, and with them they've brought a dangerous new enemy: hellhounds, whose flaming breath can sap your health in seconds. fortunately, you also get to use the tesla cannon for the first time, and it puts them down right quick.

E3M1: ghost town (james wilson) right off the bat you know this isn't the typical blood level. you're dumped unceremoniously in a small section of the city, with a number of the shirtless innocents running away from you in the distance. tall buildings surround you, and the streets seem clear of cabal. this all changes once you start poking around in buildings, as cultists and zombies start coming out of the woodwork and stuff starts blowing up. in true duke3D style, after surviving a shootout in a small office room, you get to watch from the window as the building across the street is reduced to rubble in an impressive explosion. the biggest challenge, however, is clearing the hotel lobby, which is just lousy with armed cultists, who've put up couches as barricades. if you're savvy and quick, a reflecting shots powerup will make this encounter a breeze. some other neat moments are the elevator that collapses with a super secret at the top of the shaft if you can climb to it, and the secret room modeled after the sloth murder scene from the film se7en, complete with air fresheners.

E3M2: the seige (craig hubbard with additional work by terry hamel) craig hubbard has pulled out all the stops for what's one of the most creative and brilliant levels ever devised. judging by the development notes, craig really enjoyed himself with this level, and it shows. right off the bat you get to watch as literal actual airplanes bomb the streets below (using some cool design tricks to make it look good,) followed by room-to-room fighting, shooting your way through the city as air raid sirens scream non-stop and explosions and gunfire ring out in the distance. it's a brilliant piece of work, atmospheric as hell and fitting right in with blood's overall theme as caleb's all-out war on the cabal escalates into full-scale mayhem. probably my single favorite level in the whole game.

E3M3: raw sewage (james wilson) obligatory sewer level. seems like almost every early FPS game had to have one, going at least as far back as doom 2's second level in 1994. in any case, this is a fairly linear but twisting shootout through a rather modern sewer system. the usual trash mobs are here, including plenty of zombies, but little in the way of higher-level enemies save a few bloated butchers and a poorly placed mother spider. not a lot to really write home about, though some neat build engine tricks like opening the machine that protects the eye key provide some nice visuals to an otherwise non-descript series of tunnels.

E3M4: the sick ward (craig hubbard and james wilson) probably the very first use of a hospital in an FPS game (or second, if you count system shock's medical deck) and it continues with episode 3's rip-roaring urban warfare setting. it's a sprawling, thoroughly modern (and anachronistic) medical facility, filled with the usual goons and ghouls for you to gun down. most encounters aren't too tough, though a surprise pair of hellhounds can catch you off guard as you round a corner. some good laughs with the "assisted suicide ward" being a torture room and some good creepy moments with zombies rising from their beds to come after you, among others. eagle-eyed players (or just anyone who played duke nukem 3D) can spot the button in the chapel that opens up the secret exit. all in all, a solid, well-rounded level that offers a decent challenge and takes a setting that's already kind of creepy and ramps it up.

E3M8: catacombs (james wilson and craig hubbard) normally you would expect a secret level to have some kind of gimmick or whatever, but unfortunately E3M8 offers very little of interest save for a few cool encounters (mostly tons of zombies crowding some of the back corridors, and a prominently-placed guns akimbo powerup to mow them down with.) it doesn't even really look like much of a catacomb, just a series of poorly-lit, underground corridors filled with enemies to mow down. feeling more like a doom level, it's the kind of abstract nowhere that games like duke 3D were intended to move away from with their focus on realism. a fairly weak outing, all the more annoying that it's a secret level. the end has some neat rotating sector tricks to lead into the far more industrial E3M5.

E3M5: spare parts (james wilson and craig hubbard) and now for something completely different. wilson and hubbard have crafted a convincing industrial nightmare here, some sort of foundry perhaps -- it's hard to tell as it seems to be generally a series of big rooms full of molten material, and most of your time will be spent traversing the catwalks and side passages surrounding it. good use of textures enforces a consistent theme, and there's a subtle style to the architectural detailing that makes it more than just a series of boxes. some fun encounters here, especially the security scanner which detects you as an intruder and first sets flamethrowers on you, then some zombies.

E3M6: monster bait (james wilson and terry hamel) continuing in the industrial theme of E3M5 we have a sprawling dam complex reminiscent of duke 3D's water treatment plant level. it's a little anachronistic, but it works within the context of the episode. like E3M3 and E3M5 it's a mostly linear affair with you blasting your way through a horde of trash mobs (including a ton of cultists) and the occasional hellhound or butcher. the turbine room isn't the most intense encounter, but it's certainly the most visually arresting. though you do get a cool vista from the dam.

E3M7: the pit of cerberus (james wilson and craig hubbard) it's fitting that an episode so focused on fire and explosions should end in an underground temple crumbling under lava flows. it's a bit less interesting, design-wise, than shial's lair; first you have to find four switches to start the battle against cerberus, who announces his arrival with cool collapsing walls and explosions. cerby is dangerous when his AI works, spitting fireballs at you that do incredible damage (and set you on fire.) when he gets stuck on architecture is when he's most vulnerable. other than that, it's a pretty straightforward fight, especially since he's relatively slow, so it's easy to lure him down one of the side paths for a breather.

final thoughts: episode three is, if nothing else, a showcase for the build engine. all kinds of little tricks are at work here to give the episode its look and feel; take a look at how the airstrike in E3M2 works sometime. while it's a bit more varied in its theming -- moving from urban warfare to industrial carnage, with a decidedly out-of-place secret level -- it's still a generally coherent trip, moving away from the grotesqueries of the first episode and the frigid nightmares of the second towards a modernist city setting. with a little creativity one could run with this theme for some interesting horror-noir stuff, but the all-out action we get for this outing is perfectly fine too.

episode 4: dead reckoning

the final episode of the original retail version, "dead reckoning" is like episode 1 in that it's a bit of a grab bag of themes, feeling overall like where the leftover levels and dregs of the design team's ideas went. the first half is a weird mix of mad science and a few whole-level references to classic slasher flicks, only to switch to a hellish setting out of doom for the back half. the hellstaff makes its appearance at last in this episode, proving itself a devastating top-tier weapon.

E4M1: butchery loves company (james wilson) starting episode 4 off right with a classic frankenstein-style mad scientist's castle. based on development notes this was one of the very earliest maps to be created, and it shows, as it's very small and doesn't really come up to the standards of, say, E2M5. at best we can see a few sights like what might be frankenstein's main lab, brain storage (no zombies allowed), a ritual and/or book club meeting in the front hall, and a lot of timing-based secrets that reveal themselves without the player even trying. despite its short length, you'll have to manage your ammo carefully, as the level is a bit stingy with weaponry while throwing a few high-level enemies at you like hellhounds. eventually you find your way into a back room and the exit, all too soon.

E4M2: breeding grounds (james wilson, craig hubbard, terry hamel) but wait! there's more! apparently not satisfied with the tiny mad scientist level, wilson et al. went on to create a much larger level that, thanks to the level transition, is very clearly part of the castle proper, despite its much more modern look. oriented around a pair of huge flooded fish tanks full of angry gillbeasts and bone eels, the level is a mostly linear affair that loops in on itself, with locked gates and doors eventually being reached from the other side. it's a visually striking level at times, with scenes such as the curved observation hallway with a view into the big round tank, or the forboding gate to the spider habitat that you must clear. combat is a steady drip with occasional hellhound encounters as well as a mother spider and stone gargoyle to block your way.

E4M3: charnel house (craig hubbard and james wilson) of course, if you're running an evil mad scientist lab and you're going through a lot of bodies you're going to need a place to deal with the leftover cadavers, right? the actual corpse-disposal facility is but a small part of the overall level, and much of your time is spent blasting your way through the tunnels and corridors of an aqueduct system the charnel house sits atop. fairly low-key for the most part, save for a few intense moments where gillbeasts come after you when you're in the water, though there is a moment where part of the map is repopulated by a troop of zombies. a decent little maze but nothing to write home about.

E4M4: crystal lake (kevin kilstrom and james wilson) ki ki ki ma ma ma

i mean, what else do you want me to say about an obvious friday the 13th reference? you can even find jason's mask and knife in a barn. in any case, this is one of those build-cute type levels that's mostly a series of tunnels and corridors where all the walls are plastered with a forest texture to give the impression that you're in an actual forest, punctuated by a disjointed collection of buildings to give the impression of camp grounds. it's largely very linear, your path through the woods eventually terminating at an outhouse, beneath which is a flooded tunnel that leads to the exit as well as to the infamous crystal lake, which is home to a school of gillbeasts. the lake itself has very little to distinguish itself from any big water-filled hole, though there's a hellstaff on a raft if you need it. also, though the secret exits of the first two episodes required a little thinking to work out, in this case they don't even make you look for a button. you basically have to know exactly what wall to blow up, because the classic cracked-wall sprite that indicates a destructable wall is almost invisible against the cave texture it's on, and the chamber is dark anyway. it's worth it, though...

E4M9: mall of the dead (craig hubbard) craig's solo act returns for a level that's easily as memorable as E3M2, if only for that goofy-ass mall music. no prize for guessing what movie *this* is based on... though there's curiously not as many zombies as you'd expect. it's not super huge, but there's some good encounters (including a twofer stone gargoyle bout in the fountain room) and there's a few laughs with the store names. a sudden swarm of zombies as you turn a corner reminds you of this level's inspiration, and to escape the mall you climb up onto the roof. it's anachronistic, but who cares?

E4M5: fire and brimstone (james wilson) the back half of the episode begins in earnest with james wilson offering a taste of hell in this jarring thematic departure from the early levels. (there's a possibility the regular ending of E4M4 naturally leads to this level, but it's not the cleanest transition.) essentially a big volcanic pit honeycombed by cavern tunnels and ancient ruins, your path winds through the caves, hopping over lava flows, through the upper rooms of a central tower and finally on to an underground temple of sorts. pretty steady drip of combat, though lots of hellhounds and an inordinate amount of gargoyles to blow up. not a long level, nor particularly intense, but thematically stands out a bit from the other ancient ruins of evil this game features.

E4M6: the ganglion depths (james wilson and terry hamel) while it's not the penultimate level before the final boss, it very much feels like one, reminiscent of E1M6 with its mostly linear traversal, high-above-the-clouds setting and sinister ancient ruins set into steep cliffs. lots of tough encounters here, including several spider mommas (notably a twofer in a tomb) and a nasty fight right at the start with gargoyles (including a stone one) and some goons with only a bridge and some ledges to fight on. lots of generic evil chambers as sinister chanting fills the air, but some creative encounters and setpieces help salvage what's largely a lot of narrow corridors.

E4M7: in the flesh (craig hubbard and james wilson) the penultimate level is by far the weirdest one, thematically. no ancient temples, no crumbling cities. just a huge cavern of flesh, filled with the sound of slow breathing. a shockingly low enemy count for the final non-boss level, but devoid of the usual trash mobs, instead throwing gargoyles and gillbeasts and hellhounds at you. a few distinct areas evoke actual internal organs, such as the heart, lungs, and, amusingly enough, the stomach. combat is either trivial or a pain, the latter especially when dealing with the stone gargoyle in the stomach area.

E4M8: the hall of the epiphany (kevin kilstrom) the game's finale, and the place you've been trying to get back to since E1M1. after a brief cutscene, you're treated to a tiny map that opens up in sections as you first have to fight another stone gargoyle, another mother spider, and another cerberus, in order, before finally confronting tchernobog himself. the battle is not as straightforward as you'd expect; aside from a hitscan attack that sets you on fire, he also shoots out devastating fireballs akin to a cyberdemon rocket in doom. it's largely down to who kills who first, though utilizing the high-level weaponry such as the hellstaff will help. a bit of a disappointing fight altogether.

final thoughts: for what's essentially the finale of the game, episode four is dissapointingly the weakest part of the game. while the final few levels have a coherent theme and transition among them, the first half feels like the design team had too many ideas they really wanted to put into the game and had nowhere else to put them. it's not to say they're bad, but E4M1 especially feels like a wasted opportunity and probably deserved to have been cut, or at the very least merged with E4M2. the mall level is truly great, though. the final boss was also disappointing, with a poorly-designed arena making matters worse. as a whole it's simply not as memorable as the rest of the game.

h/t to the blood wiki for the screenscreamshots

[thursdays-fallen-angel]

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” For spn ship of your choice.

ghost hunting!au, hs!au, est.; 2.5k

(this turned out to be so much longer than I expected but?? oh my god??? thank you for prompting me to write this??!)

A single beam of moonlight falls across the broken wood floor, illuminating the dust motes in the air. Elsewhere in the house, some part of the foundation cracks and settles, and there’s the unmistakable sound of a small animal scurrying through the walls.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Cas hisses over his shoulder. He’s been in a constant state of disbelief since he was talked into it, and yet, here they are.

Creeping through an actual haunted house. In the middle of the night.

Hunting for ghosts.

Behind him, Dean laughs. It’s almost too loud in the otherwise-silent house, and Cas turns to glare at him, squinting against the light of Dean’s flashlight.

“Can you be quiet?”

Dean keeps his flashlight raised as he comes closer—a necessity for the camcorder he has in his other hand—but when he’s near enough, his face becomes visible beyond it. Unsurprisingly, he looks like he’s having the time of his life.

“Come on, Cas, we have to let the ghosts know we’re here!” He shifts his grip on his camera, but doesn’t once uncenter it from Cas’ scowl. “If we don’t bother them at least a little bit, why would they bother showing up? We’re doing this in the name of science, and that means we can’t hold back.”

“Now you’re talking out of your ass and you know it,” Cas says, which only results in pulling another laugh from his boyfriend. He turns back away (partly to hide the fact that his lips are twitching toward a smile) and shines his own flashlight through the gloom of the condemned house. They had entered across the back porch—a risky endeavor, considering the wood that makes it up is rotted almost beyond recognition, but since the front door is chained closed, the back door was their best option—which means they are now in the cramped remains of a sitting room. The ceiling is low and sagging, the walls are covered in graffiti and god knows what else, and across from them is an opening to another room filled with impenetrable darkness.

Cas hates it.

Damn Dean for convincing him to do this.

No matter how terrible the house is, however, knowing that he is on camera gives Cas an illusion of courage he wouldn’t have otherwise. So long as this is being recorded, he refuses to look like a coward.

He’ll still bitch, though, of course. He thinks he’s earned that right.

He shuffles forward across the uneven floor, careful not to put his weight on any one spot too quickly. Supposedly, the house has an unfinished basement where most of its horrors have been known to take place—and he is far from eager to see it. And judging by the splintered hole in the far back corner of the room, Cas suspects it’s far too easy to accidentally get there.

Dean follows on his heels, following Cas’ path exactly as it is slowly proven to be sturdy enough to support them. It seems like no time at all before they’ve reached the next room. It’s far larger than the first room, which is reflective of the size of the house (it’s practically a mansion), but also more than a little terrifying, considering the beam of Cas’ flashlight doesn’t reach the far wall.

Dean turns his camera into the never-ending darkness and lets out a low whistle. “Well, damn. That looks fun. You ready, babe?”

Cas takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders. “I hate you so much,” is all he says, and then he starts to walk.

Dean says smugly, narrating for the camera, “He loves me.”

Cas raises his free hand up to be level with his head and flips Dean off.

As they pick their way across the room, the darkness doesn’t become any easier to see through. Cas tries to make their path as straight as possible to the other side, but there turns out to be too much broken furniture and other assorted debris for that to be realistic. They go extra slow to compensate, Cas quietly pointing out dead animal carcasses and used syringes and needles as he steps around them.

At what Cas suspects is the halfway point across the expansive space, Dean clears his throat. “So, Cas. Ghost hunter extraordinaire. Hottest guy in school. Why is this house haunted?”

Cas sighs heavily, but decides to humor his boyfriend by recounting the local legend. He isn’t exactly a fan of the whole ‘talking to the camera’ thing, but, well. He knows it will make Dean happy. And since that’s the only reason he’s currently in this haunted house at all…  

“This house,” he begins, louder than his gut instinct tells him he should be for the sake of being heard, “was originally on a plantation owned by one of the city’s founders. He was the first mayor, but only a few years after he was given the position, he and his family were killed in a fire that destroyed nearly half of the house.” He stops to kick a pair of empty beer cans aside, and eyes the camera. Even in the dark, Dean’s grin is blinding, his pride at the effort for dramatic tension clear. “It was suspected that his slaves were responsible for the incident, which means he almost certainly deserved it.”

Dean breaks into a coughing fit to cover a laugh. It’s a poor effort, and Castiel snorts his own amusement. Distracted now, neither of them attempts to continue walking.

“Is that all?” Dean prompts. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Cas shakes his head. “The house was rebuilt, and several families lived in it over the next hundred or so years. There was always a pattern of bad luck and early deaths, but the next worst thing to happen was Mordechai Murdoch. He was one of the first serial killers in the state. He kept his own daughters chained up in the basement until they died of malnutrition, and is believed to have killed at least fifteen other people, likely in this very house.”

At that exact moment, a gust of wind rushes around and through the house. The entire structure creaks and groans, and something upstairs shrieks.

Cas grits his teeth and tries to pretend that he did not startle in Dean’s direction—although they very much did jump together, as they’re now touching from shoulder to hip—but Dean, meanwhile, swears and swings his camera back and forth across the room. “Jesus Christ, did you hear that?”

Cas forces himself to huff, ignoring the blood that rushes in his ears. “It was just the wind, Dean—”

“No, you dumbass, not the wind!” Dean’s head is on a swivel, and for the first time since they pulled up to this godforsaken house, there’s genuine fear in his eyes. “There was something—”

Something scrapes across the floor behind them, prompting them both to spin. Their flashlights chase the sound, but as Cas can’t say he is surprised to discover, everything looks exactly as it had when they passed by a few moments ago.

Dean says, voice barely above a whisper, “What the fuck.”

Cas bites back a variety of I told you so’s, and puts a hand on Dean’s back. “We should keep going,” he suggests. It’s the absolute last thing he wants to do, but now going back toward their exit seems even worse than getting further in. They’ll see a bit more, let whatever the odd noise was clear out, and then make their escape.

Dean melts back into Cas’ hand and, thankfully, catches his logic. He visibly draws himself up, taking strength from his boyfriend’s touch, and then sets off in the direction they were initially headed.

They make the rest of the walk in a suffocating silence, the only sound being the creaking of the floorboards under their feet. It feels like a miracle when they finally reach the end of the room—and also incredibly relieving, since it means they are no longer out in the open—but unfortunately, what they find is less than reassuring.

Ahead of them are three, clear options.

There is a half-broken staircase leading up to the second floor. To the left is an opening to what seems to have been the kitchen. And then to the right, beneath the stairs, is a crooked door tagged in spray paint as ‘basement’.

For a moment, the two of them are utterly still. And then Dean turns his camera between their three options, then directs it back toward Cas’ face. All of his bravado has returned. “Rock paper scissors, winner picks where we go?”

Cas gives him a flat look. “No.”

Dean smiles, a bit of wicked amusement overtaking his residual fear from before. “Alright, then, so we’re in agreement that we’re going downstairs? The basement is where Old Man Murdoch hid all of the bodies of the people he killed, right? That sounds fun.”

“No,” Cas repeats. “I will not let us be murdered in a basement. And furthermore, I don’t trust any stairs in this place. We will be staying on this floor and not break our legs, thank you very much.”

Dean pouts, but from the way he huddles slightly closer to Cas, Cas can tell that his boyfriend isn’t truly upset with the decision. It’s subtle, but it unifies them enough that Cas feels slightly less horrified of what they’re doing.

Slightly. For the moment.

They advance into the kitchen where, as soon as they’re across the crumbling threshold, the temperature seems to drop significantly. It’s practically frigid in the room, and Cas tugs the zipper on his hoodie up a few more inches to combat it. He takes a few steps further into the room, wary of every shadow, and lets out a long breath as he steels himself.

His exhale fogs up in front of his face, impossible to miss thanks to the perfectly-aimed beam of Dean’s flashlight.

At that moment, the sound of footsteps reverberates through the ceiling above them. Cas’ breath catches, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Dean turn his camera upward, chasing the sound. They keep themselves completely silent as they listen; the footsteps seem to start further toward the front of the house, then pass directly over the kitchen en route to the back.

It feels like an eternity passes before the steps are no longer audible. When it happens, Dean reaches out and grabs the sleeve of Cas’ hoodie and whispers fervently, “Holy shit, there’s someone here! We have to get out of here, right the fuck now.”

Cas could not possibly agree with that statement more. Except—“Dean, I don’t think the next floor is sturdy enough to support anyone. Look at the ceiling, it’s rotten.”

Dean sweeps his flashlight across the ceiling like he needs to see the proof for himself, even though it should be obvious from the way the entire house is sagging and falling apart, then momentarily blinds Cas by turning both the light and the camera directly into his eyes. “But there’s someone up there!” he insists. “Don’t tell me you didn’t fucking hear that, Cas, that floor they were walking on was not rotten!”

Cas waves Dean’s flashlight away and blinks the brightness out of his eyes. “I heard it, Dean, but there’s no way—”

He cuts off with a strangled sound. He hadn’t been able to see it when he was blinded, but now that his eyes are readjusting to the darkness, he can make out a figure, standing over Dean’s shoulder.

As he stares at it, Cas feels the blood drain from his face.

It can’t be a person, it can’t, not in this condemned house where every sound is amplified tenfold and no reasonable human being should want to creep their way through it, anyway, and yet—

But of course, the alternative explanation for what is very clearly a humanoid figure standing right behind them isn’t exactly more reassuring.

“Cas? Babe?” Dean holds the camera on him, but for once, Castiel doesn’t even notice. “Cas, what happened?”

Cas’ jaw works silently, unable to form words. Eventually he settles on pointing, unable to get anything out beyond a choked, “Dean.”

Dean spins around, the beam of his flashlight swinging wide—and then he swears, and drops the camera to the floor. He scrambles to recover it almost immediately, while Cas grabs protectively at his elbow to steady him. The figure still looms, taller than them both and menacingly mysterious, and whatever it is they may be facing, he’ll be damned before they do it while separated.

Dean manages to pick the camera back up. The two of them press together, clutching at one another, and when they raise their flashlights up again, they see a flash of an angry, half-formed face with burning eyes.

And then just as quickly as he appeared, the man is gone.

“Where’d he go?” Dean demands. He starts to step forward, but only stops because Cas keeps a hand locked tight around his elbow. “What the fuck was that? Was that—?”

There are more footsteps upstairs, a rush of them this time, and what sounds like someone banging their fists against a closed door. First it sounds like it could be the chained-up front door, then it sounds like it’s echoing up from the basement, and then in an instant, Cas realizes exactly where it’s coming from, and a cold chill runs down his spine.

“The basement door.”

Dean looks at him, horror in his eyes.

All around them, the house only gets louder. There are footsteps, banging against the door, and thanks to a return to the wind, an inhuman shrieking sound that fills every room. Cas stands rooted in place, utterly terrified, heart in his throat.

Beside him, Dean says, “Fuck it.” He throws down his flashlight, grabs Cas’ free hand with his own, and yanks him along to sprint out of the house, back the way they came. They pay no attention to the hazards they were so careful about on their way in, and pass by everything else that is now happening without a second glance.

When they break free of the house, Cas swears that fresh air has never felt so good in his lungs.

They don’t stop running until they’ve reached Dean’s car, parked a hundred or so yards away from the house. Their hands remain linked while they collapse against the hood and pant for breath, a reassuring point of contact now that they should be safe.

When they’ve recovered, their hands slip apart. Dean still has his camera in his other hand, and though he lifts it back up in an obvious attempt to act like nothing is wrong, there is a haunted look in his eyes, and his had trembles just slightly.

“So, uh. Cas.” Dean clears his throat and glances over his shoulder toward the house, now gone quiet. “I’d say that went… well. Wouldn’t you?”

Cas drops his face into his hands and laments, “Why can’t any of our dates just be normal.”

[angst-in-space]

voltron fic recs april 2018

fics added to my fic rec masterlist in april 2018. check out the link to the masterlist to see all my previous fic recs! happy reading ✨

To Dance Till Dawning || PunJedi || Keith/Lance || T+ || 79.5k || chs. 3/3 (complete)

"If it wasn’t for the goddamned rabbit, Lance wouldn’t be in this mess."

Somehow on a detour to a date, Lance manages to get himself embroiled in a war that ended millennia ago, a shady sickness plaguing the Kingdom of Altea, and one very disagreeable, very emo púca. He really, really should've stayed home.

"Keith had screwed up. Royally screwed up. Zarkon plus Haggar plus Lotor plus Alfor plus Allura level of royally screwing up."

Somehow, out for a run in the forest, Keith manages to find himself involved with a kingdom that wanted nothing to do with him, the ghosts of his past, and one incredibly annoying, incredibly talkative selkie. He wished he had stayed under his rock.

my notes: this fic really blew me away, and honestly i'm shocked it doesn't seem to be that well-known...y'all please shower this fic with kudos or i stg. but in all seriousness, this is a really brilliant au. it's a faerie au which is something i don't think i've read before––i was so excited to hear about it and it exceeded my (already very high) expectations. the world-building is incredible, the characterization is perfect, the plot is so engrossing, all the friendships/relationships are developed so well and the klance is so sweet. i recommend this one so highly omg.

follow your heart (and follow my lead) || loulola || Keith/Lance || T+ || 43.4k || chs. 3/5 (incomplete)

It takes winning a gold medal at the Olympics for Keith to realize that he’s reached an impasse in his life. His career as center position for Team Canada’s olympic ice hockey team is flourishing- there’s a gold medal in his hand, after all. But the medal, a coveted achievement, hangs heavy in his hand, dead weight dragging him down. It brings him no satisfaction. He’s... stuck.

Then he meets Lance McClain, Team Canada's best shot at a gold medal in olympic figure skating. It's no secret that Lance is talented, and he captivates everyone on and off of the ice- Keith included. And it's Lance who convinces Keith to take the biggest risk of life: leave ice hockey to pursue figure skating, with Lance as his guide and partner. 

No one said it would be easy.

my notes: Olympic au where Keith is a hockey player and Lance is a figure skater but then Lance convinces Keith to give up hockey for figure skating. Really nicely written, wonderful characterization, and the Klance in it is really sweet. It's just such a fun fic!

it’s you that’s haunting me || perfchan || Keith/Lance || T+ || 37.4k || chs. 6/6 (complete)

Keith is a loner; his interactions with others tend toward clumsy or strained, but he has a persistent enthusiasm for the paranormal. Lance is a recent college grad; caught up in his day-to-day, he wouldn’t call himself unhappy, but suddenly feels that his life lacks direction. When Lance is introduced to Keith’s ghost hunting videos, his interest is piqued and he can’t help but want to tag along. Initially opposed, Keith soon finds himself warming to the company of the living.

A little tongue-in-cheek, a little cliché, and a little bit of a slow burn. A not-too-serious ghost hunting AU.

my notes: i love ghosts/ghost hunting so i was so excited for this and it definitely lived up to my expectations! this was genuinely spooky and a lot of care/detail went into all the haunted settings. plus the klance dynamic in it is perfect, and their banter is so well-written and funny it had me laughing out loud. but they're also so sweet and caring with each other, too. all-around just super fun to read.

All The Way Down || speaks || Keith/Lance || T+ || 39.4k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

“You make it sound like we’re going into battle,” Hunk laughed worriedly on Lance’s other side. “I thought this was like, some kind of carnival.”

A chortle bubbled of out Coran’s throat as he slapped his side in amusement. “Some kind of carnival, he says! What an understatement! Allura, I think it’s high time to show the paladins precisely how and where we’re going to be spending the next three days. After you, Princess.”

A happy, childlike grin rapidly overtook Allura’s regal professionalism, and then a brilliant chink of light shone into the castle hall as she opened the front doors to the mountain they’d landed on twenty minutes ago.

Lance went slack-jawed as his eyes adjusted to the white-blue light of Krossin’s distant neutron star, and he almost stumbled as he and the other paladins followed Allura and Coran out onto the grass to take in the view laid out before them.

This place was a utopia.

my notes: at first glance this sounds like just a fun little "oh the team goes on some trip to a space carnival and wacky shenanigans ensue" but trust me it's much more than that. yes, there are plenty of wacky shenanigans, but also this is quite the emotional rollercoaster (pun intended). the setting, first of all, is super detailed and vivid and so creative. but also the characterization is fantastic and the klance is so well done. (side note: if you like pining lance then man....you gotta read this one.) i actually teared up a couple times reading this. trust me, it's that good.

I know nothing else, I know only this || laallomri || Keith/Lance || T+ || 28k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

“I feel like I’m in a bad teen movie,” Keith says as they creep down the hallway of the base.

“Well, we are sneaking out,” Lance says, “and we’re lying about where you’re gonna be the next few hours. If we really wanted to be accurate I’d have thrown pebbles at your window and you’d have climbed down a tree.”

He’s walking a little ahead of Keith, so he glances back at him, frowning. “If Kolivan’s in charge of the base, does this make him your dad in this scenario?”

“I think he’s too old for that,” Keith says. They round a corner, tiptoe down another hallway. “Maybe he’s the grandpa.”

In which Keith finds time in the midst of defending the universe to live out some of the tropes of a corny teenage romance.

my notes: this fic was so cute and made me smile so much! the humor in it was great and it made me laugh a bunch of times, but also keith and lance are so sweet and earnest with each other in it. also just wanna say hunk is characterized super well in this and there's really great hunk & keith friendship moments as well. 

(Don’t) Ghost me || spiritcrimson || Keith/Lance || G || 3.1k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

Here’s the thing: Lance is used to rejection. He’s been rejected plenty, and sure, it stings for a while, but then it fades, and he’s back in the game. Namely, back to swiping through people on Tinder.

But when Lance runs into the guy who ghosted him, and he's been moping over ever since, randomly, at a cafe they were supposed to go to for their date, he realizes the Universe is either sending him a sign, or just mocking him. Knowing Lance's luck, it's probably both.

my notes: binch i love rom-com/meet-cute scenarios so i loved the premise of this and it was so good! keith and lance are both so in-character and adorably/realistically awkward. 

say my name (and every color illuminates) || Talking_Bird || Keith/Lance || T+ || 27.8k || chs. 1/1 (complete)

Lance never thought he had a soulmate, but when he finds himself dreaming about a boy on Varadero Beach and in a southwestern desert, he learns they have an incredibly rare soul link–-one that allows them to form an unusually strong bond before they meet, but also exposes their greatest vulnerabilities to each other.

my notes: man, how do i even begin to describe how much i love this fic? it's seriously one of the most beautiful fanfics i've ever read. it's really soft and atmospheric, but it also packs a huge emotional punch. i'm telling you ... it takes a lot to make me cry, but there were several (several!) points in this fic where i literally could not read through the tears streaming from my eyes (some happy tears, some sad tears). what can i say? jessie is a genius and she has absolutely blown me away once again. you gotta read this one because it's absolutely stunning.

my own fics that updated this month:

red skies || Keith/Lance || T+ || 39.1k || chs. 4/?? (incomplete)

Lance doesn't know where he comes from––only that he was found in a forest on a distant planet when he was an infant, with no sign of his origin except a blue talisman around his neck. Nowadays he's content to travel the universe with his best friend Hunk, scavenging and selling goods. But that all changes when a girl named Pidge hitches a ride with them, and in the same day the trio finds a crashed ship carrying nothing but a boy with no memory of who he is ... and a red talisman that matches Lance's.

previously recommended fics // my fics 

[elsajeni]

May the 4th 2019 Letter

Dear Yoda,

Hi! Thanks for checking in! You’ve seen my general likes/DNWs in my sign-up already, but let me restate it here so it’s all in one place, and then we’ll get to the ship-specific stuff...

Likes: family feelings; bantering or bickering; moments of humor even in the darkest situations; misunderstandings that turn out all right in the end; poly relationships; casual relationships; hurt/comfort.

Sexy Likes, if you go in that direction: light bondage; lots of talking during sex, both sweet and dirty; realistic funny or awkward moments. If you're writing about teen characters (since some relationships I've requested would lend themselves to that), I'd rather not have anything explicit on-page, but I'm fine with offscreen or fade-to-black implied sex.

DNWs: rape/non-con unless specified; incest; explicit scenes with underage characters; detailed description of bodily fluids; drastically different AUs (what-ifs and canon-divergent fics are fine, this is about coffeeshop AUs, A/B/O, etc.); infidelity; unrelentingly dark and grim stories (I like a glimmering of hope).

Star Wars canon preferences: I'm sure you can tell from my request list that I love and miss the old EU/Legends content. For any request that features Legends characters, I'd be very happy with a purely Legends-based fic, but I also love gluing the loose ends of Legends continuity into the loose ends of sequel trilogy continuity; please feel free to mix and match Legends and canon material.

Relationship-specific prompts:

X-Wing Division:

Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker

I like this best as a teen relationship that grows a little awkwardly out of their friendship, is fun while it lasts, and transitions pretty easily back into friendship when it ends. That said, whatever you do with this pairing, it’s going to be a little bit tinged with sadness; if you prefer it a LOT tinged with sadness, I’d also be delighted with a fic taking place in the brief window between when they reconnect in the Rebellion and the Death Star run.

Alternately, get weird with it – find a way for Biggs to survive, or bring him back from the dead. Write that Space Winter Soldier AU that I secretly kind of love, or Luke being haunted by the literal ghosts of his past.

Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker

I would really like something that brings Wedge into the sequel trilogy timeline, and especially a look at what Luke’s choice to isolate himself means for their relationship. Was Wedge ever on Ahch-To with him? Have they been in contact at all since he disappeared? When he’s found, is Wedge in a rush to see him again, or are his feelings more complicated? (As you may be guessing here, this is an area where I am very comfortable with a “not actually dead” AU! If you like a more tragic tone, though, do feel free to go with the canonical ending of TLJ.)

I’d also love this as a more early-relationship fic -- if you go that route, I’m interested in the pressures that their respective positions and commitments put on a relationship, and especially the difficulty of maintaining a relationship with someone who keeps disappearing on incomprehensible Jedi business.

Wedge Antilles/Wes Janson

Let’s be honest, I’m mostly looking for more Wraith Squadron/Starfighters of Adumar-style shenanigans here. Alternately, this is a pairing that lends itself to hurt/comfort – both of these guys have more than enough canonical close calls. Or why not a bit of both? If you’re feeling ambitious, you could fix Isard’s Revenge for me by writing their reunion post-Distna, after they’ve both believed each other to be dead for weeks.

Falynn Sandskimmer

Listen. I’ve been marching up and down carrying this banner that says “FALYNN SANDSKIMMER DESERVED BETTER” for so long. My arms are so tired. You take it for a minute, won’t you?

Let her survive and prove herself and be happy, with Myn or without (slight preference for without, tbh!). I’d love to see her get over the embarrassment of thoughtlessly insulting Piggy and develop a real friendship with him. Or write me something from her past -- teen Falynn raising hell in Mos Eisley, or the misadventures in her early career that put her on track for Wraith Squadron.

Threesomes Division:

Lando Calrissian/Mara Jade, Lando Calrissian/Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

I liked Lando and Mara’s EU relationship, and wasn’t too happy with the “it was a cover” retcon – show me the time, or times, that it wasn’t just a cover. Or, how about an earlier meeting in their lives, when Mara was brand-new to Karrde’s organization, or during the few days they must have overlapped at Jabba’s Palace?

I’ve always liked Luke and Lando as a romantic pairing, too, so why not bring it all together? Three people who all care deeply for each other, who aren’t often in the same place at the same time, but when they are, well… let’s meet over a mug of hot chocolate and see where the evening takes us. (I’d prefer this with everyone on more-or-less equal footing – not with Luke and Mara as an established/married couple and Lando as the outsider.)

Wedge Antilles/Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

I’d love to see this as a V gradually changing shapes into a more even triad, as Wedge and Mara come to see more in each other than Commander Square Corners and a barely-trustworthy reformed assassin. I’m most interested in this as a getting-together or early-relationship fic, with everyone sorting out their feelings and their respective claims on each other.

Wedge Antilles/Leia Organa/Han Solo, Lando Calrissian/Leia Organa/Han Solo

Another two that go together! With either of these, what I’d most like to see is Leia and Han inviting a friend (or, in Lando’s case, a friendly ex) into their bedroom as a one-time fling or a casual, but ongoing, FWB arrangement; I’m less interested in a long-term triad. If it’s Lando, I’d love to see a little tension between him and Leia as they sort out the boundaries of their respective claims on Han, but ultimately I do want this to be a happy, fun encounter for everyone involved. If you go with Wedge, I’ve always been very fond of his close friendship with Leia in the EU, and I’d like that to be his closer tie to her and Han.

Long Shots Division:

Leia Organa & Beru Whitesun

I would be MOST interested in this as a roleswap AU where Leia is the twin raised on the Lars farm. They thought Luke was headstrong and too like his father -- what a challenge raising Leia would have been. I’d love to see a look at that alternate childhood for Leia, and her relationship with her aunt in particular.

Alternately, find a way for Beru to survive, and to meet her boy’s new friends and family -- does she figure out who Leia is? (Did she know there was another baby?) What do they think of each other? Is Leia a little dismissive, maybe, of a Nice Mom Who Makes Cheese, or do they connect right away?

Mara Jade/Gara Petothel | Lara Notsil

Is this ridiculous? Yes. Do I love it anyway? Yes.

The most plausible version of this is maybe Mara/ “Kirney” during Lara’s Intelligence training -- the timeline is ambiguous, but it doesn’t seem crazy to think they might have been on Imperial Center at the same time, or that the Emperor’s Hand might have been sent to some of the society parties where Kirney made herself at home. Alternately, I think they could have some very interesting things to say to each other later on, after they’ve both changed sides (at least once) and are dealing with what the Empire did to their heads.

Garik “Face” Loran/Ton Phanan

This is in the Long Shots Division because I have a weirdly specific desire here: ghosts. Give me Ton hanging around after death -- where else does he have to go, after all? Haunting all the Wraiths, or just Face, or trying to figure out how he can go haunt some Imperials and ruin their day. Making Face miserable, or still making him laugh (and is he real, or is this some kind of coping mechanism, and does Face want to find out which?), or not seeming to know he’s dead. Just... Ghost Ton. Pls.

Alternately, I’d also be happy with them getting into shenanigans and having lots of pleasant casual sex during happier days. But I love ghosts.

Oola/Leia Organa

There wasn’t a LOT of time for dancers to hang around unwatched at Jabba’s Palace, and they were only there together for a couple of days (and even that, only if we fudge the timeline a little). But sometimes it only takes a couple of days, and sometimes all you need is a few bright stolen moments.

Miscellaneous Division:

DJ/Talon Karrde

I’ll be honest, I don’t really have a plan here, I just think this is a fantastic idea. I was thinking about Karrde the whole time DJ was on screen, and half-expecting him to turn out to BE Karrde, and I am delighted by the idea of this pairing. I think there’s something interesting here about grey areas, and the “rogue with a heart of gold” archetype, and what, realistically, it means to play both sides against the middle when one side is clearly and melodramatically evil.

Mara Jade & Darth Vader

I’m interested in Mara’s childhood and youth, and the sort of... just-under-the-surface yawning horror that we know is there, but that’s not really dug into much in the EU. Give me something with her and Vader encountering each other -- as rivals for Palpatine’s attention, as tentative allies, as student and teacher, or as...

Mara Jade/Darth Vader

... something more than any of that. This could go in a lot of different ways, from something as relatively innocent as an uncomfortable attraction between two people with no one else to talk to, to something as dark as the Emperor ordering one of them to the other’s bedroom. Whatever direction you go with it, I do want it to treat the power dynamics and age dynamics here seriously, and to lean into the darkness that’s present in what we know about Mara’s childhood and youth – no one here is having a good time or doing something they’ll be happy to look back on.

(This is the one sort-of-exception to the “no rape/non-con” clause; it’s a pairing that lends itself to questionable or compromised consent, and I’m into that. The line between what’s “dubcon” and what’s “non-con” is blurry, but as much as possible, I’d prefer that you stay on the dubcon side of it -- deceit, coercion, and uncomfortable power imbalances, yes; violence, physical or Force-based force, or explicit non-consent that’s ignored, no.)

(This is NOT an exception to the “no explicit scenes with underage characters” clause. If you write this with Mara as a teen, please keep anything explicitly sexual off-screen.)

Winter Celchu/Leia Organa

I’d like to see this as a youthful experiment between friends – something casual that doesn’t last, but that remains a fond memory and a little bit of an in-joke.

Obi-Wan Kenobi/Owen Lars/Beru Whitesun

Obi-Wan – Ben, now – stays nearby, after he leaves the baby with them. Maybe it’s to keep an eye out, to make sure Anakin’s child doesn’t draw any undue attention. But maybe it’s not just that.

I’d love basically anything you do with this – a one-time fling that everyone is a little embarrassed about in the morning; an arrangement that sees Obi-Wan stopping by the homestead infrequently for dinner and conversation and, after the kid goes to bed, a night of companionship; a full-on AU where Luke grows up with Uncle Ben as essentially a third parent. (Whatever you do here, Luke will obviously be around! But I am more interested in this focusing on the relationship between the adults, not on any of their relationships with Luke.)

[cherita]

10 Climate Fiction Books to Read for Earth Day

Today is Earth Day, that day of the year when we’re reminded to take care of our planet. It’s the only one we’ve got, after all… for now, at least.

But in the world of speculative fiction, reminders aren’t really needed. Sci-fi authors have long thought up future scenarios impacted by every sort of ecological disaster imaginable, whether caused by our own careless pollution or technology gone awry, some strange alien virus, or just a pissed off Mother Nature who’s had enough of our shit. It even has its own cute genre name: cli-fi, for climate fiction (see what they did there?).

Though the name is a recent invention, writers have pondered the perils of climate change as far back as Jules Vernes’ 1889 adventure novel, The Purchase of the North Pole, while J.G. Ballard’s dystopian novels The Drowned World (1962) and The Drought (1964) are considered early cli-fi classics. Today, with terms like “global warming" and "carbon footprint” now part of our everyday lexicon, climate change and environmental disaster are in everyone’s thoughts — and climate fiction has grown right along with our awareness.

Even if climate change has never once crossed your mind (you could be a monk, I guess?), these 10 books are sure to get you thinking about the environment and our impact on it…

Imaginative future sci-fi of a floating refugee city in a post-climate change world:

Blackfish City (2018)

by Sam J. Miller

After the climate wars, a floating city is constructed in the Arctic Circle, a remarkable feat of mechanical and social engineering, complete with geothermal heating and sustainable energy. The city’s denizens have become accustomed to a roughshod new way of living, however, the city is starting to fray along the edges—crime and corruption have set in, the contradictions of incredible wealth alongside direst poverty are spawning unrest, and a new disease called “the breaks” is ravaging the population.

When a strange new visitor arrives—a woman riding an orca, with a polar bear at her side—the city is entranced. The “orcamancer,” as she’s known, very subtly brings together four people—each living on the periphery—to stage unprecedented acts of resistance. By banding together to save their city before it crumbles under the weight of its own decay, they will learn shocking truths about themselves. 

Blackfish City is a remarkably urgent—and ultimately very hopeful—novel about political corruption, organized crime, technology run amok, the consequences of climate change, gender identity, and the unifying power of human connection. 

Moby Dick retelling of inter-planetary exploration to help a resource-depleted earth:

The Beast of Cretacea (2015)

by Todd Strasser 

Master storyteller Todd Strasser reimagines the classic tale of Moby Dick as set in the future—and takes readers on an epic sci-fi adventure.

When seventeen-year-old Ishmael wakes up from stasis aboard the Pequod, he is amazed by how different this planet is from the dirty, dying, Shroud-covered Earth he left behind. But Ishmael isn’t on Cretacea to marvel at the fresh air, sunshine, and endless blue ocean. He’s here to work, risking his life to hunt down great ocean-dwelling beasts to harvest and send back to the resource-depleted Earth. Even though easy prey abounds, time and again the chase boat crews are ordered to ignore it in order to pursue the elusive Great Terrafin. It’s rumored that the ship’s captain, Ahab, lost his leg to the beast years ago, and that he’s now consumed by revenge. But there may be more to Captain Ahab’s obsession. Dark secrets and dangerous exploits swirl around the pursuit of the beast, and Ishmael must do his best to survive—if he can.

Lyrical present-day tale of the apocalyptic effects of climate change:

Clade (2015)

by James Bradley

On a beach in Antarctica, scientist Adam Leith marks the passage of the summer solstice. Back in Sydney his partner Ellie waits for the results of her latest round of IVF treatment.

That result, when it comes, will change both their lives and propel them into a future neither could have predicted. In a collapsing England Adam will battle to survive an apocalyptic storm. Against a backdrop of growing civil unrest at home, Ellie will discover a strange affinity with beekeeping. In the aftermath of a pandemic, a young man finds solace in building virtual recreations of the dead. And new connections will be formed from the most unlikely beginnings.

Clade is the story of one family in a radically changing world, a place of loss and wonder where the extraordinary mingles with the everyday. Haunting, lyrical and unexpectedly hopeful, it is the work of a writer in command of the major themes of our time.

Near-future tale of the apocalyptic effects of climate change:

Drowning Towers (1984)

by George Turner

Francis Conway is Swill - one of the millions in the year 2041 who must subsist on the inadequate charities of the state. Life, already difficult, is rapidly becoming impossible for Francis and others like him, as government corruption, official blindness and nature have conspired to turn Swill homes into watery tombs. And now the young boy must find a way to escape the approaching tide of disaster. The Sea and Summer, published in the US as The Drowning Towers is George Turner’s masterful exploration of the effects of climate change in the not-too-distant future. Comparable to J.G. Ballard’s The Drowned World, it was shortlisted for the Nebula and won the Arthur C. Clarke Award for best novel in 1988.

Fantasy tale in an apocalyptic world of catastrophic climate change:

The Fifth Season (2015)

Broken Earth trilogy

by N. K. Jemisin

WINNER OF THE HUGO AWARD FOR BEST NOVEL 2016

This is the way the world ends…for the last time.

A season of endings has begun.  It starts with the great red rift across the heart of the world’s sole continent, spewing ash that blots out the sun.  It starts with death, with a murdered son and a missing daughter.  It starts with betrayal, and long dormant wounds rising up to fester.  This is the Stillness, a land long familiar with catastrophe, where the power of the earth is wielded as a weapon. And where there is no mercy. 

Hard sci-fi in a post-climate change world where skyscrapers are island homes:

New York 2140 (2017)

by Kim Stanley Robinson

NOMINATED FOR THE HUGO AWARD FOR BEST NOVEL 2018

New York Times bestselling author Kim Stanley Robinson returns with a bold and brilliant vision of New York City in the next century.

As the sea levels rose, every street became a canal. Every skyscraper an island. For the residents of one apartment building in Madison Square, however, New York in the year 2140 is far from a drowned city.

There is the market trader, who finds opportunities where others find trouble. There is the detective, whose work will never disappear - along with the lawyers, of course.

There is the internet star, beloved by millions for her airship adventures, and the building’s manager, quietly respected for his attention to detail. Then there are two boys who don’t live there, but have no other home - and who are more important to its future than anyone might imagine.

Lastly there are the coders, temporary residents on the roof, whose disappearance triggers a sequence of events that threatens the existence of all - and even the long-hidden foundations on which the city rests.

New York 2140 is an extraordinary and unforgettable novel, from a writer uniquely qualified to tell the story of its future.

Spec-fic tale of genetic engineering gone awry, causing ecological devastation:

Oryx and Crake (2003) 

MaddAddam trilogy

by Margaret Atwood

Oryx and Crake is at once an unforgettable love story and a compelling vision of the future. Snowman, known as Jimmy before mankind was overwhelmed by a plague, is struggling to survive in a world where he may be the last human, and mourning the loss of his best friend, Crake, and the beautiful and elusive Oryx whom they both loved. In search of answers, Snowman embarks on a journey–with the help of the green-eyed Children of Crake–through the lush wilderness that was so recently a great city, until powerful corporations took mankind on an uncontrolled genetic engineering ride. Margaret Atwood projects us into a near future that is both all too familiar and beyond our imagining.

Poignant, literary tale of inter-planetary exploration to help a devastated earth:

The Stone Gods (2007)

by Jeanette Winterson

On the airwaves, all the talk is of the new blue planet – pristine and habitable, like our own was 65 million years ago, before we took it to the edge of destruction. Off the air, Billie Crusoe and the renegade robo-sapian Spike are falling in love. Along with Captain Handsome and Pink, they’re assigned to colonize the new blue planet. But when a technical maneuver intended to make it inhabitable backfires, Billie and Spike’s flight to the future becomes a surprising return to the distant past –- “Everything is imprinted forever with what it once was.” What will happen when their story combines with the world’s story? Will they –- and we –- ever find a safe landing place? Playful, passionate, polemical, and frequently very funny, The Stone Gods will change forever the stories we tell about the earth, about love, and about stories themselves.

The ocean fights back against mankind’s pollution in this sci-fi thriller:

The Swarm (2004)

by Frank Schatzing

Whales begin sinking ships. Toxic, eyeless crabs poison Long Island’s water supply. The North Sea shelf collapses, killing thousands in Europe. Around the world, countries are beginning to feel the effects of the ocean’s revenge as the seas and their inhabitants begin a violent revolution against mankind. At stake is the survival of the Earth’s fragile ecology—and ultimately, the survival of the human race itself.

The apocalyptic catastrophes of The Day After Tomorrow meet the watery menace of The Abyss in this gripping, scientifically realistic, and utterly imaginative thriller.

Biopunk tale of a genetically engineered future in a post-climate change world:

The Windup Girl (2009)

by Paolo Bacigalupi 

Anderson Lake is a company man, AgriGen’s Calorie Man in Thailand. Under cover as a factory manager, Anderson combs Bangkok’s street markets in search of foodstuffs thought to be extinct, hoping to reap the bounty of history’s lost calories. There, he encounters Emiko…  Emiko is the Windup Girl, a strange and beautiful creature. One of the New People, Emiko is not human; instead, she is an engineered being, creche-grown and programmed to satisfy the decadent whims of a Kyoto businessman, but now abandoned to the streets of Bangkok. Regarded as soulless beings by some, devils by others, New People are slaves, soldiers, and toys of the rich in a chilling near future in which calorie companies rule the world, the oil age has passed, and the side effects of bio-engineered plagues run rampant across the globe.  What Happens when calories become currency? What happens when bio-terrorism becomes a tool for corporate profits, when said bio-terrorism’s genetic drift forces mankind to the cusp of post-human evolution? Award-winning author Paolo Bacigalupi delivers one of the most highly acclaimed science fiction novels of the twenty-first century.

[jadedbirch]

ARTIST CLAIMS ARE NOW OPEN!

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SUBMIT CLAIMS BY APRIL 23rd

1. Good ships scuttled on the deep

His fingers follow flecks of blood down to the point of his captain’s cheekbone. A thin pink scar, no wider than John’s fingernail, marks Flint’s pale skin. Flint’s eyes close completely. “I thought it was a welcome,” John says. Silver and Flint become lovers following the battle on Maroon Island. S4 AU with established silverflint relationship and some canon divergences.

2. Pray For The Wicked On The Weekend    John Silver spends his days in a faded green pickup truck filled with salt-loaded shotguns and silver and holy water on the back roads of the United Stated hunting monsters and demons and things that go bump in the night, and he’s fine with it, because it’s the easiest way to forget what he’s lost. But there’s something coming, something that he can’t face alone. So where else would he turn but the best Hunter the US has ever seen. Even if no one has heard from James Flint since Thomas and Miranda Hamilton went missing.

3. patron saint of lost causes

It takes two weeks to get Flint off Skeleton Island. Or rather--it takes two weeks for the island to let them go. In which Skeleton Island is a living character and brings a host of nightmares through the mist which force Silver and Flint to confront the dangers of their minds. Featuring surreal dreamscape horror as Silver literally battles figures from his murky, unnamed past and Flint moving through a river of blood and ghosts until he and Silver finally meet in the middle. Influences include Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth and The Devil's Backbone and Maria Luisa Bombal's work.

4. Let It All Unbreak You Post season four. Alone in taverns, at different points in time, Flint and Silver ponder what went wrong with their different relationships. They drink, remember and regret. They reflect upon the little they had together, and regret not making it work after the war with Madi or Thomas, while knowing very well that the very reason it all went wrong is that they had changed too much, had given each other too much, yet were not brave enough to admit it to each other when it was still time.

(Ships: Silverflint, flint x miranda x thomas, flint x thomas, silver x madi) (Angst, definitely not fix-it, no happy ending)

5. Pirate Sex is In Vogue

My fic is a modern AU primarily through email correspondence between Silver and Flint, although other mediums (such as texting and phoning) will be introduced as the story evolves. Silver is a crack erotica writer and Flint is the librarian who just wouldn't showcase his books at the Nassau Public Library, despite the insistence of the latter. They become unexpected virtual pen pals after Flint sends a heated rejection letter and grow closer through their correspondence, helping each other confront the inner demons of their personal lives. There will be polyamory, since Flint is involved with Thomas and Miranda by the time he and Silver fall in love.

6. Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more

In the year 1725, or thereabouts, John Silver finds himself driven by a winter storm into an inconsequential little port town, barely a speck on any civilised map. Returned to the life of a drifter, tired and rough around the edges, he is resigned to waiting for the weather to pass before he can sail on again to the next town, and the next, and the next. That is until he overhears a conversation in the inn about a local fisherman, one Captain Barlow, and his tall tales of tempests and becalmings, devils and sharks, and Silver finds a new future opening up to him, haunted by the spectres of his past. Whether landed in this place by fortune, or fate, or even divine intervention, he finds he cannot leave again without following this trail that leads from an old and half-forgotten tether knotted deep between his ribs to somewhere that feels familiar and safe, like home. The way won’t be easy; it’s paved with notable absences and painful unspoken truths, and there’s as good a chance as any that he’ll find a knife to his throat before he can so much as say ‘Long time no see, Captain’. Still, all roads do seem to lead to them baring their souls to one another in the dark, and Silver would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed it.

7.  An Epilogue

After the events of Treasure Island, John finds James and Thomas. There’s a gradual awkward descent to domesticity when pirates retire. Madi brings Jim Hawkins with her from London. This is the ultimate fix it where there are no unanswered questions and everyone lives happily ever after. SilverFlint, SilverHamilton, SilverFlintHamilton, SilverMadi

8. Stealing Hearts

A 1920s AU with Flint as a mob boss, fighting a corrupt police force/police system, and Silver as a thief who gets caught up in all of it.  

9. Space Raiders of Nassau

The space station Nassau is in open rebellion against the interplanetary Imperial Alliance.  Captain James Flint is in deep shit for rearranging the face of a fellow raider captain.  As punishment, Nassau's leaders assign an inside man to his crew, with a very convincing cover story (that they're married). Complicating things further is the fact that Flint's shifty new husband, John Silver, knows a lot more than he's telling about their secret mission. Their own survival as well as Nassau’s future depend on how successfully they can navigate the dangerous skies… and each other.  

10. The Pirate Captain's Wedding Once he has his hands on the thief Flint is willing to do whatever it takes to get the page from him. And then Billy & Gates say marriage is the only solution left on the table. Or rather matelotage – the time honored pirate form of matrimony. Billy says it’s the only way to regain the crew’s trust, by marrying one of them, and Gates agrees. For once Flint’s desperate enough to agree to it. He never expects to actually fall in love with the little shit. Canon-Era Season1/Season2 AU– with angsty developing feelings, public consummation, & There Is Only One Bed night after hot sticky sweaty night. 11. The devil's gotta' earn

Supernatural AU. James Flint has been a hunter for over a decade now and he knows people join this profession for plenty of reasons and few of those are happy ones. Some people just seek the thrill, some want to protect the so called innocent, some - like him - are out for revenge and John Bloody Silver apparently is just trying to get rich. [Borrows mostly from first seasons of Supernatural, little to no prior knowledge of this show required. Miranda lives, Thomas tragically does not. Lots of angst, few monsters of the week and a demon or two.]

12. touch me James is a widow, bartender and owner of the gay-bar “The Rainbow“. After Thomas' death it had been John who had lift him up. One day one of his usual dancers - because what is a gay bar without your occasional striptease - can't perform. John offers to fill the space and James has to face that John is more than just a friend. Slow burn and StripperJohn!AU

13. Adamantine Flame Flint is a forest god called The Flame and Silver is part of the cult that worships him that resides on the fringes of the underworld. 14. [Title TBD] Silver never met another werewolf before. Well, realistically, he knew he must have because he wasn't born a werewolf so someone had to have done this to him. But that didn't count since his memory of the whole incident was lackluster at best. He knew others had to be out there somewhere though and he wanted to find at least one, just to know he wasn't all alone. Flint was surrounded by werewolves all his life. Always part of a family, always knowing someone cared for him. Knowing he had someone to care for. The memories were as vivid as ever, of a time when he cared for someone. But they were gone and he knew he was meant to be all alone. 15. set my soul on fire

Nothing quite like getting out of prison to make a man feel like pulling off the biggest heist you’ve ever heard of. But he can’t do it alone - he’s going to need some money, a plan, a crew, and of course, his partner. His incorrigible, oral fixation-having, blue-eyed devil of a partner. Who is this smooth, seasoned con man with his eyes on the prize? James fucking Flint, naturally. And his partner? John Silver.Viva Las Vegas, baby.

16. cat dad

Modern au. Flint's life is fine. It's quiet and it's fine and he's fine. Well, except that his upstairs neighbor is a dick and his relationship with Miranda is strained and maybe quiet isn't all it's cracked up to be. But then a one-eyed cat enters his life and with it one John Silver. Flint's not sure how he feels about that, but he's working on it. Plot includes cat shenanigans, cooking, fluff, and feelings. 

17. [Title TBD]

A post-canon rendition of the Silver and Flint reunion wherein rather than seeking each other out the two are brought back together by outside forces. There’s a wedge of sour history and new lives built between them but love and desire become hard to deny when every path you set out on to leave someone behind sends you hurdling straight back to them. Treasure Island divergent/ignorant, though I pull some things from TI including the bird. (Includes SilverMadi and FlintHamilton as side-pairings, warning for canon Black Sails side-character death.) 18. The Spark

it's a Girl Genius AU

That's it, that's the whole shtick. It's basically the plot of the show, but clockwork-punk with mad geniuses (of course Flint is one), Urca being chock full of Aztec tech a'la Mysterious Cities of Gold, and dr. Howell and colleagues taking medicine to some quite Frankenstein levels - convenient with so many characters who should know better than to fucking die.

Also John Silver might be a construct.  The prosthetics are not nearly as complicated as in treasure planet, but at least one person has a gun arm? dirigibles are "Supposed Not To Be Invented Yet", but not for the lack of trying. Silverflint revolves around having "The Spark" and personhood and is shaping up heavier than i intended... luckily they will have plenty of people to set them to rights - i'm aiming for a happy polyfamily forming in the background.

19. he’s funny that way

1920s Atlantic City. Everybody knows the only way to leave crime boss Eleanor Guthrie's business is through a funeral - either delivering the sermon or laid out in the casket. Still, Flint leaves anyway, because he likes to make his life as difficult as possible. Case in point: his new partner, the scruffy, irate, one-legged racketeer with a pretty mouth, a quick tongue, and a rye recipe even Pussyfoot Johnson wouldn't spit out. His new partner's making sure he's not joining the church and taking a celibacy vow anytime soon - but will anyone be able to save Flint from his early - or long overdue - grave?

20. Ship to Wreck 

"I don't know if you've noticed, Doctor," Silver snaps, incredulous, "But every moment the Captain is unconscious in that bed is another step away from five million fucking dollars. As if that weren't enough, we're locked in a ridiculous show of force with a madman who seems keen on blowing us sky high unless we concede to his demands; we've got a crowd of men up top losing their Goddamned minds because they've been promised a fight that we cannot presently even hope to deliver; and--" Silver pauses, exhaling hard. "Actually, you know what? There is no and.  I’d say that’s about enough shit to make us all a little tense, wouldn’t you agree?" "Hm," Howell says, mildly. A post 204 fic in which: Flint gets a fever, Silver has a panic attack, and Howell gets a migraine. Includes, among other things--Silver trying and failing at playing nurse; Silver trying and failing at controlling his feelings; Flint being dazed and delirious and soft; some singing, some yelling, and heavy doses of mutual pining. Love, obviously, turns out to be the best medicine. 21. More Than One Odysseus

Reunion fic, about two years after 4.10. Quite a lot of talking and a little of the following: fishing, sex, hunting, bathtubs, Jewish surnames, books, stories and Terra Australis. Canon-compliant, not TI-compliant. A few animals killed (for food, not sport).

22. Seedlings

"If there's anything I can help you with-- Or if you'd like to order flowers for an upcoming occasion--"

"All right, honestly?" Handsomely disgruntled customer looked Silver dead in the eye and said, "I'm looking for a gift that says, 'You are making a dreadful mistake, and you will regret these actions for the rest of your days. Call me when you've figured out what a fucking hash of things you've made.'" He spoke the way some people chewed tinfoil.

Silver felt two things: lust like a plague of locusts, and the words 'uh-oh' waft through his brain.

On the second anniversary of the worst day of his adult life, John Silver─temporary florist, burgeoning gardner, and former thief─meets James Flint. It is only love at first sight for one of them. (Or is it?)

23. The Curse of Aeaea

Inspired by the connection between Flint and Odysseus: Silver and Flint find themselves dealing with a very Circe-like situation. Once the curse affects Silver, they have to figure out a way to end it or be trapped on an island that’s not on any map.

(Animal Transformation, Body Horror, Poor Coping Mechanisms, Circe’s Curse, Odysseus, Post-Season 2, Pre-Season 3)

24. With Strange Aeons Months after the disappearance and presumed death of Captain Flint and Long John Silver, Max smuggles Jack and Anne to Oglethorpe’s plantation. Thomas learns that not only do the three of them have a friend in common, but he is not the only one whose dreams are haunted by a strange city and a terrifying name. Meanwhile, Flint and Silver try to escape an island trapped in time, impossibly built and impossibly old. Along the way they’re forced question reality, each other, and themselves.

And in his house in R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. (Prior knowledge of Lovecraft is fun, but not required.)

[believingispowerfulmagic]

Reunited at Last (Part I)

@regalhoodie17 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! There is more to this, I’m still working on it. I’m afraid I finally decided on a good direction for this story...last night. But there’s more coming and coming soon. 

I hope you enjoy! 

Regina Mills had a very mediocre life. Everyday was the same routine. She woke up at dawn, had breakfast and then dressed for the day. Regina would then drive over to the large building right by the docks, park her car and get in line with all the other drones waiting to clock in. Once she punched in, she would put on her apron and gloves before taking her place on the line. Then it was eight hours of filling cans with fish meat before sending them down the line to be sealed and labeled. It was mindless work and killed her feet, even standing around in sneakers. She had two breaks--one in the morning for coffee and then one in the afternoon for lunch. Neither were particularly long and the farthest she could go was outside to sit on the docks to watch the ships in the harbor.

When the final whistle blew, she would take off her apron and throw out the gloves she had been using before getting in line to clock out. She would climb in her car, go home and make dinner. After a couple hours of TV or reading, she would then fall asleep to prepare to do it all over again.

It wasn’t an exciting life, she knew, but it was the best she could do at the moment. There had been precious few opportunities for an orphan like her, abandoned by a mother who then left town to live a life free of the burden of being an unwed mother and who left no clue as to who Regina’s father might’ve been. Regina was raised and educated by the sisters who ran the orphanage and while she excelled at her studies, it still wasn’t enough to get her a scholarship to college. She had taken the job at the cannery in hopes of saving enough money to move away from Storybrooke, go to school and become so much more than an orphaned drone.

Yet almost two decades later, Regina had long abandoned that dream. Instead, she found a new one. She spent weekends working on new recipes and baking different pastries and cakes in her house. And she had found the perfect little storefront for a bakery. She “borrowed” books about businesses from the library (technically, she guessed one would say she stole them since the library had been closed for years and she had to pick the lock to get the books) and put together what she believed to be a practical business plan to present to the bank and Town Hall.

The manager of the bank seemed impressed by all her hard work and had seemed willing to give her a small business loan. Yet Town Hall had disagreed and refused to give her a permit. Regina had tried several times, altering her plan to make it more palatable, but she was denied every time.

For her latest attempt, Regina had sat in Town Hall, dressed in the suit she had gotten just for meetings with the bank and Town Hall. It was a plain but professional looking black skirt suit with a red silk blouse underneath. She had pulled her hair back into a bun and with her briefcase, looked like she could easily work for Town Hall. It just seemed that her lot in life kept her at the cannery, she had thought bitterly as Mayor West approached her. The mayor was not much older than Regina but had the life Regina’s could’ve had their situations been reversed. She had been born into a prominent family in Storybrooke who had spared no expense for her education and had already secured a place in government for her. No one else had the experience and knowledge she had, so she had run unopposed as their mayor for quite some time.

Mayor West’s expensive green and black dress, manicured nails and jewelry were a far cry from Regina’s appearance but she held her head high as the mayor sat down next to her. “Regina, while we respect your determination and admire your ability to put together this business plan,” she started.

“You’re still not giving me a permit,” Regina realized, her heart sinking.

“No,” the mayor confirmed. “We’re not.”

Regina clenching her fists together, trying to stay calm as she asked: “And why not?”

“Because we can’t be sure you can deliver on your business plan. You have no formal training and only a high school diploma,” Mayor West explained. “And you’ve been working at the cannery since you were eighteen, but you’re still in a low-level position. You’ve never been promoted or advanced in any way.”

“No one ever gets promoted. There are no openings up the chain of command,” Regina pointed out, seething.

Mayor West nodded sympathetically before asking: “But even if there were, Regina, do you think you would be given one of them?”

The implications were clear to Regina. Despite years of working at the cannery and being an exemplary employee, her bosses were still likely to pass over someone like her--an average person with no degrees. She was stuck in her dead-end job until she either retired or died.

“I know this must be soul-crushing, Regina, but I think it’s best if you face the truth. Some people are meant to sail amongst the stars...and you’re not one of them,” Mayor West told her, placing her hand over one of Regina’s fists. “It’s time to accept your lot in life.”

Feeling tears burning her eyes, Regina stood and took a deep breath. “Thank you for your time, Madam Mayor. I’m sure you have more important things to do, so I’ll leave you to it. Good day.”

She turned and stormed out of Town Hall, finally letting the tears fall as she neared the local park. Regina plopped down on a bench, placed her head in her hands and cried. No matter what she did, she realized now she would never be good enough. She would never own her own bakery and she would never be free of the cannery.

She would never be special.

“Why are you crying?” a young girl asked.

Regina raised her head and blinked back some tears to find the speaker standing right in front of her. For a moment, she wondered if she was caught in a movie where the protagonist is visited by the spirit of the child she had once been as the young girl could almost have passed for Regina when she was younger. Dark black hair was braided into two neat plaits and she had a tan complexion that stood out in a small town in Maine where no one could get tan. She also wore the familiar blue jumper and white shirt of the convent school, meaning she was an orphan as well.

The two big differences that convinced Regina she wasn’t being haunted by her younger self were that the girl had bright blue eyes instead of brown and the soft smile she was giving Regina revealed two dimples on either side of her face. She held out a tissue to Regina. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, taking the tissue. “I’m just having a bad day.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure it’ll get better,” the girl said, sitting down next to her.

Regina shook her head. “I doubt it. My life is awful and all attempts to change it have failed. But that’s my problem, not yours.”

“You’re not going to give up, though, right?” the girl asked, frowning.

“I don’t have a choice. Sometimes, things just don’t work out and dreams don’t come true,” Regina said, feeling all her bitterness creeping to the surface. She turned to the girl and felt awful. This child had her whole life ahead of her and just because Regina failed to rise beyond her circumstances didn’t mean that this girl couldn’t. “You should run along. I’m not someone you want to be around.”

“You’re Regina Mills, right?” the girl asked.

Surprised that she would know her name, Regina nodded. “How do you know that? Who are you?”

“My name is Diana Locksley.” The girl then turned and pulled a big book from her backpack. It had a brown cover with pages lined in gold, which matched the lettering on the front of the book--Once Upon a Time. She held it out to Regina. “This told me your name. And it also told me that I’m your daughter.”

For days, Regina tried to put the young girl who thought she was her daughter from her mind. She knew about wanting a family so bad and seizing on any opportunity to possibly have one. It made her feel sory for the girl but there was no way Regina had ever given birth, which she was given to believe was a pretty unforgettable experience. Her last relationship had been a short-lived romance in high school with a boy named Daniel. Regina’s memories were fuzzy now but she believed the sisters had been strict about her dating and so Daniel had moved on to someone who didn’t have to sneak out of a convent to meet him. After that, Regina didn’t have many prospects as most men in Storybrooke were either married or put off by the smell of fish that always clung to her thanks to the cannery. That had also ruled out one-night stands--though Regina was more interested in something more long-term than that.

Which meant that she was pushing forty and still a virgin.

However, she couldn’t explain away how much Diana actually looked like her. They could realistically pass for mother and daughter. And the girl had been so adamant, that it made even Regina doubt her own memories. Her guilty pleasure of real life mystery shows didn’t help either, putting ideas of how someone might be able to give birth and not remember so afterward. These theories drove her to the hospital over a week after meeting Diana and into a pair of stirrups so Dr. Whale could perform a gynecological exam on her.

The appointment started off normally. Dr. Whale flirted with her while prodding her private parts, all of which made Regina grit her teeth as she cursed the fact he seemed to be the only doctor in the hospital. She just laid back and took it, waiting for him to finish and confirm what her rational mind already told her was true.

It changed halfway through, though. Dr. Whale stopped flirting and grew serious as he continued his examination. He paused, grabbing Regina’s medical file and flipping through it. Wrinkles appeared between his brows as he once again resumed his examination. Only a few seconds later, though, he paused and checked her file once more.

“Is something wrong?” she finalled asked after several minutes of tense silence.

He closed the file and looked up at her, baffled yet serious. “Regina, I need to ask you something and I need you to answer honestly. I promise there will be no consequences for whatever you tell me. Have you ever given birth?”

“Not to my knowledge, no,” she replied honestly. Her heart sped up and she wondered what this meant for Diana’s proclamation.

“Okay,” he said, sighing as he ran a hand through his platinum hair. “That matches with your records. The problem is, that isn’t what your body is telling me. You show signs of having delivered a baby. Not recently but you did it.”

There appeared to be some credence to what Diana had told her after all. She swallowed before asking: “How could I give birth and not remember it?”

“The mind is very complicated,” Dr. Whale replied. “There’s a lot we don’t understand. So it could be possible that you gave birth and something happened that made you block from your memories.”

“But I’ve never had sex,” Regina insisted.

He shook his head. “That’s not what your body is telling me either. Look, there’s a lot of possible scenarios, a lot of them pretty awful. Maybe...Maybe you should talk to Dr. Hopper about this?”

There was merit to Whale’s suggestion. Dr. Hopper had to know tricks that might help her remember possibly giving birth. Maybe even who the father was, though Regina doubted it was someone she wanted in her life or Diana’s if she couldn’t even remember him.

Recalling her mini-me, Regina bit her lip. “What if...What if I possibly know that child?”

“If you do, I might suggest a maternity test,” Whale said. “If you can bring him or her here to the hospital I can have them compare your DNA to see if there’s a relationship.”

“I’ll see if I can do that,” Regina said, taking her legs from the stirrups and sitting up properly. “Thank you, Doctor.”

He nodded. “I really hope we figure out what happened to you, Regina.”

“Me too,” she said. “Me too.”