#raven has two angry exes

[kkglinka]

... tips my head thoughtfully. Did Summer have anything yellow/orange wrapped around any limb? Any sort if obvious partner flagging for Tai?

*Oops, I meant to point out I saw the white-gold trim, but it matches her weapon, and it isn't how the discreet object partner flagging seems to work in general.

For instance, Blake had brass trim on one outfit, but so did Kali, and that outfit altogether was a blend of her parents'. It didn't signify until she put a brass cock ring around her sword. (What? Did I stutter?)

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

[dayurno]

hiii dayurno could you tell me more about raven!jeremy? it's such a new idea sounds very interesting!!!

hiii of course! buckle up. long story and also a collab with ao3 kevjean :3

well first of all let me say that in this au jeremy is not part of the perfect court or in fact even close to it at all. he’s a sub striker with a high jersey number who did not see much playtime during his career as a raven and was on the lower end of the raven spectrum skill-wise. this is important to tell you because the fic doesn’t start with jeremy in the ravens, it starts with him dealing with the aftermath of the nest getting dissolved and losing every bit of his hopes and dreams after sacrificing everything in his life to make it in eau—it starts with kevin salvaging the last dregs of jeremy’s college career by recruiting him for the foxes for his last year, even though jeremy, as an ex raven, hates him (and jean) for what they’ve done both to riko and to their team

ok good. so set the scene. jeremy is miserable. the ravens already didn’t like kevin and jean to begin with, isolated as they were from the perfect court. now jeremy lost not only his team but the lifestyle surrounding it, the ideology of the ravens, his partner, and his career prospects. he doesn’t have the eau raven title anymore and he can’t use it to get himself in the line of sight of most pro team recruiters. he gave up a family (that didn’t love him much, but still) and a trustfund for this. kevin day leaves the nest, jean moreau follows soon after, and their king kills himself. Do you understand how much jeremy hates them? kevin and jean were perfect court, were untouchable, didn’t even know or care to learn his name as a sub striker with not much under his belt—and then they left and destroyed everything jeremy had worked so hard for without even thinking about him. without remembering him at all, in fact.

he hates them!!!!!!!! desperately. With a passion. getting recruited for the foxes and by kevin day on top of it all is humiliating, but it’s the last chance he has. jeremy arrives in palmetto an angry hateful mess made ten times worse by kevin’s constant criticism of him, unaccustomed with normal life and without a partner for the first time in four years. he’s volatile and destructive and he has nothing to live for. exy is the only thing he wants and it doesn’t want him back. :) kevin steps in and takes jeremy’s game from him much like he did with neil, both out of desperation because the foxes are a mess now with the addition of their freshmen, and because, while jeremy isn’t really anything to write home about in terms of skill, he’s far more ambitious and disciplined than the average fox. jeremy hates kevin but can’t afford to reject his help. thus begins the most convoluted raven partnership to ever exist

jeremy hates kevin and has a non-negligible wish to harm him whichever way he can, but he’s also a raven that escaped the nest all on his own. he latches onto kevin immediately, the two of them becoming partners in the raven sense of the world while clashing Often and Intensely with each other both on and off court. their relationship gets more and more volatile the more jeremy goes out of his way to get under kevin’s skin, resentful and so angry at what the perfect court’s done to him, while kevin sinks his feet in and pushes jeremy way past his limits in his training. basically they are a match made in hell :) lots of hatefucking and jealousy and violence and the one murder attempt ensue as the foxes try to navigate this destructive, hopeless version of jeremy that wants to die and take down as much as he can in the process, up to and including kevin day. they’re together every second of the day and jeremy hates him for everything kevin took from the ravens, but he also depends on kevin’s training and presence to feel like a person again. it’s a really big mess basically that is eventually made worse (and better) by kevin and jeremy starting to sleep together to get the adrenaline out raven-style. and that’s all without jean coming along, which he will eventually

[laufire]

This is redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog, returning fire with the character ask game :3

For Jason: 23. Fav picture of this character 24. What character from another fandom reminds you of them? 26. Freebie question! What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be? (Saw ur tags about that hehehe)

I might come back with other characters, but just Jason for now cause it's WAY passed my bedtime

Fav picture of this character

there are so many options... (see: my header of his hamlet moment). but I'm going to go with this one, from batman annual #25.

I fucking love a character climbing out of his own grave. and that lightning bolt is so frankenstein of him <3

What character from another fandom reminds you of them?

my mind is wired to draw parallels and comparisons, and I happen to be rewatching a tv show (the 100, one of those "it could be so good if it was good" things xD) where sometimes it seems that all my favourite characters have some jason-coded moments and traits lol.

BUT. among all of them, we definitely need to talk about john murphy!!! he's my #1 in that show (with some strong competition), because I love his journey. he really started being... well, what dc regularly tries to convince us robin!jason was: a mean, angry teen, product of his society, who lashed out at people once he could, because he had been wronged himself. this show gave him far more grace about it (even during his messy revenge quest lol), and in season 2 they landed on a really potent love story with him and another character, emori (another outcast in her own society, this time because she was born with a mutation, that survived by stealing from others) that ended up catapulting him to Romantic Hero status in a way s1!murphy couldn't have dreamed of lmao. it was great.

even his backstory (which he's given in the first episode of s2) is. very jason añdslkfjasf. two important things about this gifset is a) the girl here, raven (another favourite), has a similar backstory (alcoholic mother who failed to take care of her, raven would've starved if not for the kindness of her neightbour & childhood sweetheart). she's taunting murphy because a few episodes before murphy shot her in the spine (he didn't intend to hurt her but it wasn't exactly an accident. part of his messy revenge quest against a -barely- adult who failed him lol). she hates him, and yet she clearly can't help but empathise </3. a few episodes later she tries to get him killed to save her ex <3. in a few seasons they'll become best friends <3. as far as I'm concerned she's memori's third <333

a few other things in favour of "jason-coded murphy" are this post, or the fact that at one point murphy had to use sex to survive in a way I personally headcanon jason doing (I've actually drawn some comparisons between that plot and nightwing/tarantula but only stylistic ones; plot-wise it's a very different situation where he displays an attitude closer to what I imagine jason doing).

What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be?

alñsdkfjasdf I can't believe I'm going to talk more about other characters than about jason but here we are lol.

anyway first of all, unlike many people in this fandom, jason is a smart cookie capable of differentiating fact from fiction, who could recognise heathcliff did some really fucked shit against undeserving people and still appreciate the hell out of him as the fascinating character he is. tyvm. that said, he's also someone who gets very personal about literature xD

one thing about heathcliff is that he does what some people argue jason is doing when he "targets" tim or mia (or damian, but that's bftc and fandom has more or less accepted that it's a mess, and also damian isn't white :))). aka, he's (a grown man!!) viciously, hatefully going after innocent children for the sins of their fathers!! for shame. sorry but that's not even true in bftc or hush (the situations there were very messy and the writers desperately needed medical consultants to make them make any sense, get off his dick xD), but definitely not true for titans tower or seeing red. jason was NOT trying to kill these teens (a few years younger than him at most), he's never wanted them death, and he's never even aimed to caused grievious, irreparable damage. again, get off his dick :P

but it's interesting to me thinking about jason reading the book for the very first time during the lost days era, in particular. he would empathise with heathcliff's desire for revenge, but I don't think he'd ~relate as strongly to him as some people think. yes, there is mistreatment in their youths and the revenge plot (after heathcliff does whateve he does in his own lost days period lol); there's even possible racial ambiguity in common, if we take into account the shiva thing. and he'd half-mindedly draw some links between bruce and earnshaw senior and, if he's feeling ungenerous lol, between dick and hindley, but nothing particularly strong, imo.

but I can see even this faint link being enough to have him pondering his own lines, what he's willing to do once he returns and what he isn't. and it's a fact that jason crossed some of his own purported lines, because he was too in his head about bruce or because they were convenient at the moment or because of all other reasons. and I picture him rereading the book years down the road, and grappling with that fact. wondering if heathcliff had drawn his own lines beforehand or gone all in from the beginning, wondering if he had any regrets.

otherwise, he would appreciate heathcliff as the force he is in the narrative, while being utterly disgusted by some of his actions. at the same time he'd be really wary of the unreliable narration (I imagine him thinking nelly gives all the lintons too much grace, even if he obviously would think heathcliff's actions towards isabella and cathy are undefensible). I also believe he's ready to fist-fight anyone that supported the "monstrous" readings of heathcliff as something inhuman, as some supernatural force of nature. heathcliff, to him, is utterly human.

ALSO. jason is definitely that bitch who reads the FUCKING UNHINGED SHIT (x, x, x, x, x) catherine and heathcliff say about each other and be like. why can't that be me 😭. he's fucking unwell.

(and feel free to ask me about any other character you want! or any extra questions about jason lol)

[silent-dragon]

TWST Student OC Profile ~ Guan Zǐ-Xīn

"In an endless night, there is nothing closer than the bright moon, always hanging in the sky." - Jing Yuan

Song

Personal Info

Name - Guan Zǐ-Xīn (pronounced “Zu-Shin”)

Physical Age - 19

Birthday - October 6

Zodiac - Libra

Gender - Male

Species - Fae

Height - 215cm/7ft

Eye Color - Golden Amber

Hair Color - White Silver

Orientation - Pansexual

Homeland - ??

Twist of Jing Yuan from Honkai Star Rail

College Info

School - Night Ravens College

Dorm - Celestellaron (@geminiiviolets)

Year - 3rd

Best Subject - All

Occupation - Ex-Royal Guard of Thorns,Martial Arts Tutor

Favorite Food - Boba Milk Tea

Likes - Feline Animals,Sleeping,Swords,Neat and Clean Places,Suen Wěi & Sun Jian,Comfortable Chairs,Cool Days,Tea,Elaborate Decor,Long Train Rides,Fluffy Pillows

Dislikes - Disorder,Dirty Places/People,Feline Dislikers,Disturbing His Sleep/Nap

Talents - Swordsmanship,Martial Art Master,Organization,Noticing Every Little Detail of Something/Someone,Napping Anywhere

Unique Ability - Shocking Friends - Zǐ-Xīn can summon unique familiars that all have lightning based looks to them but look like ordinary animals at first. Usually will be a cat or other felines as his favorite but can be other animals…if he ever thought about other ones.

Personality - Comes off as very taciturn as hardly speaks but always observing. Usually will talk if there's a cat nearby but only to the cat,sees a flaw that bothers him,or sees friends. He is super friendly and makes an effort to check up on those he calls friends. Other side of him is well…sleepy. He has a common problem with falling asleep anywhere but in class during teaching time. Nothing is wrong with him,he just says he is so tired. Has an angry sleepy mode if get on his bad side,most say he goes into a commander type vibe…it's scary but exciting to some. His sleepy expression has him always looking at you with bedroom-like eyes but he is just sleepy…most of the time.

Bio - A sleepy man of kinda unknown origin. Often seen talking to Diasomnia students so friends with a lot of them. His fuzzy poof of hair is signature to knowing who he is if stumble upon him. Usually a random cat or two will be snuggled on his lap. It's common to find him asleep somewhere just like a certain feline man that has a colorful relationship with him. He is like a different person in class when lessons going on as active,attentive,and answering all the questions right. Super good standing student overall,can't seem to find any faults in this man but maybe there's something hidden underneath the poof? Who knows…

Other Facts

Just note I am spelling his name in the way chinese names usually are so Guan is not his first or surname its his last/family name. Zǐ-Xīn is his first name and I added the pronunciation for it above the best I think it's said but I may be wrong I did research but may not been enough I try.

Zǐ-Xīn's normal familiar is his pet lion,Kei who he obtained from being scammed but she was a little cub and he couldn't ignore how cute she was so kept her. She is now fully grown and has a family of her own in the wild so he goes to visit her but never summons her away from them.

Only when his hair gets wet from rain or maybe sweat from him working out that you may get a rare glimpse at his ears which are pointy indicating he is of fae relation.

He has a small cute little mole under his left eye but usually can't see it as hair covers his left eye often.

Calls Lilia chief,commander,and other titles that mean someone of high rank…but says it's just for fun.

Talks about Sun Jian as if they have been long time friends but only known him for a little while and sometimes corrects himself as he forgets to say he is talking about another who he won't say name of but is similar to him so is why he likes being near him.

Has an interesting relationship with the Savanaclaw dorm leader as is quite fond of him and had the bravery to pet his head which caused a mess of problems but he still can't hate him and actually adores still.

[iceflwers]

𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷 “𝓽𝓲𝓷𝔂” 𝓯𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻 !

˚✧ ₊˚ʚ THE BASICS !

— ❥ FULL NAME: Raven Marie Fischer.

— ❥ NICKNAMES: Ray, Ray-Ray, Tiny (used by many NHL players), Smiley, weirdo (used by enemies and haters), freak (used by enemies and haters), dollface (by Dominic only, no longer used), baby (by Willy only), sweetheart, honey, princess (by Willy only).

— ❥ DATE OF BIRTH: June 24th, 1996 (Cancer).

— ❥ BIRTHPLACE: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

— ❥ CURRENT RESIDENCE: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

— ❥ SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English, French (not fluently), Swedish (not fluently), Russian (not fluently), Czech (not fluently), American Sign Language (not fluently).

— ❥ ORIENTATION: Panromantic, asexual (sex-repulsed).

— ❥ GENDER IDENTITY: Cisgender female (she/her pronouns).

— ❥ OCCUPATION: Journalist for the Canadian Football League (formerly), journalist for the National Hockey League.

— ❥ FACECLAIM: None.

˚✧ ₊˚ʚ PERSONALITY !

— ❥ HOGWARTS HOUSE: Hufflepuff (loyal, hard-working, compassionate).

— ❥ MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE: INFP - The Mediator (empathetic, open-minded, self-isolating).

— ❥ ENNEAGRAM TYPE: Type Two - The Helper (warm-hearted, sincere, sentimental).

— ❥ MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good.

— ❥ LOVE LANGUAGES: Physical touch for both giving and receiving.

— ❥ SKILLS: Writing, jewelry making, singing, baking, cooking, acting, memorization, speed writing, charming people, speed reading, reading body language.

— ❥ LIKES: Her family and friends, her hedgehog, her job, musicals, gifting her homemade bracelets to people, rewatching her favorite movies, watching all kinds of sports, being cozy, listening to music, dancing, making people laugh.

— ❥ DISLIKES: Rude people, discrimination of any kind, loud or sudden noises, scratchy clothing, mushy food textures, her ex, entitled people, high heels, how hard it is for her to read social cues.

— ❥ FEARS/PHOBIAS: Needles, people being angry or disappointed in her, dating another person like Dominic, having a panic attack or meltdown in public.

˚✧ ₊˚ʚ RELATIONSHIPS !

— ❥ FAMILY: Phoebe Fischer (mother), Lewis Fischer (father), Oscar Fischer (pet hedgehog), John Tavares (father figure), Brad Marchand (uncle figure).

— ❥ FRIENDS: Mitch Marner, David Pastrnak, Joseph Woll, Austin Matthews, Quinn Hughes, Nico Hischier, Linus Ullmark, Trevor Zegras, Morgan Rielly, Matthew Knies.

— ❥ ACQUAINTANCES: Remainder of the Toronto Maple Leafs roster, Evgeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Jeremy Swayman, Brady Tkachuk, Connor McDavid, Jack Hughes, Luke Hughes, Tessa Virtue, majority of NHL players and coaching staff.

— ❥ ROMANTIC INTERESTS: Conner Lucas (first crush), Nick Browne (former crush), Schuyler Beauregard (former crush), Jeremy Harper (brief relationship), Dominic Cormier (ex-boyfriend), William Nylander (current romantic interest).

˚✧ ₊˚ʚ FUN FACTS !

— ❥ Growing up, Raven watched all kinds of sports, since her father was a big fan of NASCAR and both kinds of football and her mother loved baseball and hockey. Phoebe Fischer, however, is a diehard Oilers fan, and was just slightly disappointed when her daughter turned out to start rooting for the Maple Leafs.

— ❥ A few months after she was diagnosed with autism, Raven wound up having to move classes at school, as her teacher beginning to give her accommodations because she now had an official diagnosis caused most of the other children in her class to pick on her on an almost daily basis.

— ❥ At five foot four, Raven is still three inches shorter than Cole Caufield, the shortest current player in the NHL. Plenty of her friends say this is proof that her nickname Tiny fits perfectly, but she insists that they’re all just giants.

— ❥ Ever since gaining popularity with NHL fans, Raven has made a habit of making a load of homemade bracelets before every game she reports at and handing them out to female fans beforehand. She wants to help foster a better sense of community for female fans, knowing how much animosity young women can face from male fans when trying to get into a sport.

— ❥ She has also become an outspoken advocate for more inclusivity within the league, as well as queer and disability rights and greater education and support for those with disabilities and mental illnesses. She hasn’t always stayed out of trouble with the NHL bigwigs for some of the statements she’s made, but she’s never backed down and she doesn’t plan on stopping - besides, she has a great group at SportsNet always ready to support her, as well as a pretty good-sized group of tall hockey men who are used to throwing punches willing to fight back against anyone who tries to hurt her.

tagging @lovings4turn, @hiya-itsamber, & @theopenlocker !

─┈ ♡ copyright © 2024: you do not have permission to copy, translate, or repost my works, nor to use my oc ideas or plots.

[xaphrin]

Will you finish the vampire Damian fic?

Well, actually....

- - -

Damian looked around the small diner, taking in the eclectic decor with a curious expression. Not that she blamed him, a hole-in-the-wall place like this probably wasn’t his usual fare. Raven smirked at him from behind her coffee cup, watching as his eyes darted from wall to wall, taking in the kitschy decor. Above the diner counter, there was a framed picture of the Virgin Mary hanging next to a picture of JFK, both of them staring condescendingly at the couple in the booth by the window. His lips twisted a little before he glanced back at her, obviously waiting for her to say something.

She took a long sip of coffee, letting him stew in silence and his own thoughts as a kind of half-punishment. There was something almost satisfying about watching him try to piece together her life since she’d left. It was a world he had been a part of for so long, and now he seemingly knew nothing about her. Damian was going to have to learn about who she was all over again, and he had no one to blame but himself. 

"You look overwhelmed.”

"No, not really. I just never took you for a greasy diner person." 

He finally looked back at her, and Raven watched as his features softened just a fraction. A muscle ticked in his jaw and he reached for his own coffee, taking a slow sip. Raven watched as bright, morning light slid over his verdant, green eyes. It was disgusting how beautiful he was, and she felt an old, familiar shiver slide down her spine. It was the same shiver she felt every time they had a moment alone together in the tower. Every half-smile he sent her, every soft-spoken affirmation, every casual touch - that fluttering shiver he gave her was still there after all those years. 

And it frustrated her to no end. She wanted to be angry at him, and he deserved her ire after everything that had happened between them. But… seeing him again, hearing his low voice, watching the way he looked at her… it made her want to forget the things that happened all those years ago. She wanted to forgive him.

"So…"

She glanced at Damian and watched as the sun lit up his warm, olive skin. Her heart turned over and she took a small, calming breath, sipping on her coffee. “So?” 

“What’s next?”

“Well, we’ll need to go to Bialyia first to get a few supplies, and then we’ll need to go to Markovia and track down your… ah, sire?” She shrugged and shook her head. “The spell is easy enough to cast, but we need to find whoever you fought and force their consent to allow you to turn you back. And you can’t… eat anything until we do that.”

Damian gave her a flat stare. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Based on how long we’ll be gone, it’s going to be pushing the limits of your strength of will.” Raven took another bite. “And… I’m going to need to reach out to Constantine.” The name tasted like bile in her mouth. “Unfortunately.”

“You don’t sound so happy about that.” Damian lifted an eyebrow. “You always complain about him, what is it between you two.” He glanced across the table at her, leveling a dark stare. “Another friend? One who stays over?”

“No!” Raven made a face and reeled back from him. “Gods, no. Constantine is not allowed in my apartment - ever. Our history is… complicated. He took me in for a bit after I left the tower, helped mentor me and control parts of my demon. But… now some people think that we work together, and…” She sighed, remembering that while Constantine was generally an asshole, he did have a heart and he had taken care of her. “He leaves scorched earth wherever he goes.”

“Ah… scorched earth. I get it.” Damian stared at her still. “I’ve heard, and not just from you.”

“That’s pretty common. Constantine wants to try to protect the world, but he’s adept at making bad decisions, and honestly he’s kind of a dick to everyone he meets, so I have to tread lightly wherever I go. I’m never sure who he’s pissed off… or who he’s slept with. I swear that man has an ex’s list a mile long.”

Damian chuckled and Raven realized how much she missed that sound. There was something musical about it - a slow rumble of notes that sounded like far-off thunder. Her heart ached as she remembered their time together at the tower, before things had gotten complicated. She remembered laying on the roof and looking at the stars. Part of her wondered if they would have been anything outside of friends, but now was not the time to question that. 

Although, she wasn't sure exactly when the right time would be to question it. Maybe never. 

The silence consumed them for a while. Raven could feel his thoughts start to spiral out of control, and she reached over and tapped the back of his hand with her own. He jerked and looked over at her, his eyes narrowing. 

“What?”

“You’re lost in your own thoughts over there.” 

“Just… thinking.”

“About?” 

“You… actually. Thinking about what happened to you after the tower.” He was so blunt about it, that it made Raven look over at him, her eyes wide. 

“You’re thinking about that? Now?”

“Yes.” Damian shifted, unsure of what to say next. “I’m wondering what your life was like, after the tower. What I should have done to prevent you from leaving.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Damian, but I’m fine. Constantine took me in for a bit, and I tutored under him and a very reluctant Zatanna. After John drove me nuts for nearly two years I left, and then opened my shop. It’s all very cut and dry.” 

“I should have… I should have been there for you.” Damian sighed as if defeated. “I should have listened better."

“You listened as well as you could at the time, and you’re here admitting to your mistakes. Baby steps, Damian. You don’t need leaps and bounds to heal what’s happened between us, just a little time and some patience.” Raven stared at him with a half-smile before glancing away. “But, I appreciate the sentiment.”

[libertyreads]

May 2024 TBR--

Connor Cow and I are excited to talk about the books we're planning on reading in May. (AKA look at my cute stuffed cow because my physical TBR is TINY.) I have three Kindle books and three NetGalley ARCs I plan on reading during the month so the physical TBR for the month is small. I'm so excited for my reading plans for the month. I've already started one of the Kindle books and I am INVESTED.

Teen Titans: Beast Boy Loves Raven by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo-- I'm continuing my reread of the Teen Titans graphic novel series. Up next we see Beast Boy and Raven meet and we see them starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. This isn't my favorite of the series (that one's next month), but I still enjoy the Teen Titans graphic novels so much.

Aesop's Fables by Aesop-- I found this beautiful collection of Aesop's Fables when visiting a small bookstore in San Antonio a few months ago and I decided this would probably be a good choice for May since I am back to school and I need some light reads to help me push through the month. There are more than 200 short fables (less than one page per) that use animals to discuss human problems. Some are as short as two sentences. Some are as long as five or six sentences. I'm hoping to finish this one early on in the month.

Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang (Kindle)-- Okay. So this is the one I'm already SUPER invested in. I started it at the end of April and I'm 100 pages in. All of the people who said this book made them angry were so right. This was sold to me as a standalone dark academia novel featuring a woman trying to survive the magic school as the first woman admitted to the High Magistry. She has the janitor forced upon her as her assistant as a cruel joke by others in the High Magistry. And we follow them as they try to make it in this magical school. The absolute rage I've felt in the first 100 pages is astounding. I can't wait to dive deeper into it.

Faking It with Number 41 by Piper Rayne (Kindle)-- This is the next book I'm picking up in the Hockey Hotties series. In this one we follow Ford who is the heir to Jacobs Enterprises, but with a career in the NHL, he doesn't want to fall into the family business. His father agrees...with one condition. He fakes a relationship with the family's PR rep. But do things stay pretend? Or does Ford find himself in an even bigger pickle than he was in before? I liked Ford in the other book I read in this series so I'm excited to read his story.

Pacific Rim by Alexander C. Irvine (Kindle)-- Did I really buy a novelization of a movie I watched last month? Am I really about to read it...despite having watched the movie two times now? Yes and Yes. Hey. Hi. Hello. Have you met me? The Resident Hyperfixation Expert is here to continue the hyperfixation. Pacific Rim follows a former Jaeger pilot and an untested trainee as they attempt to push back a giant Kaiju and keep the world from the edge of defeat in their war against the Kaiju.

Icon and Inferno by Marie Lu (NetGalley)-- This is the second book in the series which follows a spy and a pop star as they team together to take down a very bad man. I reread book one recently and remembered how much I love Winter and Sydney. In the first one, we saw Winter brought into the agency and trained up as he joined Sydney on a mission to bring a rich, and bad, man to justice. I was so worried reading book one the first time that this would be a one and done situation with their partnership, but in book two we've got the gang back together and I'm so excited. This time things get a little more personal for Sydney which I think will really up the stakes (and possibly the romance).

The Calculation of You and Me by Serena Kaylor (NetGalley)-- The GoodReads pitch is as follows: "A calculus nerd enlists her surly classmate's help to win back her ex-boyfriend, but when sparks start to fly, she realizes there's no algorithm for falling in love." I'm excited to meet this moody musician and this math nerd and see how they inevitably fall in love. I've read from this author before so I'm excited to dive on in to a new one.

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton (NetGalley)-- When I heard Kayla from BooksandLala talk about this one, I had to request it. This is going to be a genre mash-up that could be everything for me: Sci-Fi/Romance. It's pitched as "part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com." Four twenty-somethings accidentally steal a spaceship and as the ship travels deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting and old mysteries come crawling back to life. I'm going to try to go into this one without knowing too much, but I was so excited to get an ARC for this one.

I do want to clarify that reading all of these is my goal for the month of May. But I started a class in April and if I need to then I will start pulling things off of my TBR in order to keep up with my coursework. I'm hoping that having a couple of short and easy reads for the month will make it easier to hit my daily page goals.

[lindyloosims]

Okay so this is The Shady Bunch!

It started out as a little fun gameplay experimenting with Wicked Whims and autonomy on full blast...then it descended into chaos and depravity! These two were dirty birdies and kept producing babies after some very colourful sexy times! They married and divorced more times than I could count, had a throuple with Lilith Vatore for a while after divorce number two resulted in him going off on holiday to Granite Falls with Lilith and getting her pregnant with Nadja above! She was born shortly after Isla, yes he got ex-wifey preggers too, he came back from his little time away to that bun in the oven! They all lived together for a spell, but then he decided that he loved his little curvy blonde human more than the svelt raven haired vampire. Lilith moved out but Nadja stayed with her father and siblings, then along came a few more kiddos and a couple more weddings and divorces, I could not keep up! Around about the time that Eilidh was cooking, Lilith suddenly had twins Jonah and India out of the blue, a custody battle ensued and Jonah went to live with his dad and siblings but India remained with her mother who she despised, so I stole her hehehe! All kiddos under the same roof growing up in Sulani, so far so good, more babies, some kids moved out and started families of their own. Mackenzie became a (very good) sex worker and had many clients who called her up constantly. I turned my back for a few moments in another save and patriarch was DEAD! Now you would guess old age? Possibly shrivelled nutsack syndrome due to all of those children? Nope he was an adult, he died at the hands of a killer bunny! I was devastated and so was his wifey who he’d sent to the farm for an “upgrade” to obey him because she kept having threesomes with Caleb and Morgyn Vatore! Hence the numerous divorces, she just loved being the filling of that sandwich! 🤮

So this is where we get to Jonah! He aged into a very handsome young adult and step-mummy, feeling lonely after her hubby died, went “ooh I want a bit of that” and they embarked on a relationship. Although not blood related, she was the mother of several of his siblings and she changed his dirty nappies when he was a toddler, he has the mummy dearest sentiment for her it’s creepy! So they got hot and heavy, she got pregnant (poor woman) and shortly after baby Bonnie was born, India (Jonah’s twin sister) fried in the sun! She was no more! Then ghost daddy came out to play, literally, and Jonah’s little heart was broken! His dad stole his girl, even dead he could still turn her head despite her “ownership” passing onto Jonah after his dad succumbed to the wabbit. Despite the declaration that his step-mother/girlfriend still loved his father, Jonah thought it would be a great idea to propose, he was turned down flat! But he persisted, wore her down, and they got engaged...and another baby was on the way (it was Jonah’s). A wedding and a baby named Boyd completed Jonah’s happy life, along with his enrollment into Britechester studying Art History. Harvestfest saw him being hounded by angry gnomes after he kicked and shattered one for not liking his fruit cake offering, and his step-mum/wife continued to boink his ghost daddy behind his back! Talk about being cuckolded!

What will the future hold for Jonah? Will his marriage last? Or will he follow in his dad’s footsteps and get divorced? If he does, can he keep it that way? Or will he jump the broomstick again and again and...who knows! And will Bonnie finally ask why mummy and ghost grandpa are kissing with no bathing suits on in the hot tub?

[iamafanofcartoons]

The RWBY “criticism” that really makes me angry is the claim that it’s bad writing/unrealistic for Yang and Ruby to have different last names even though Tai fathered both of them. You see, I have a paternal uncle (my dad’s fraternal twin brother) who was married twice, and has three daughters from those two marriages. He married his first wife years before he even met my aunt, and both she and the daughter they had took his last name. They got divorced a few years later, and because of how biased Oklahoma divorce court is towards women, his ex was awarded primary child custody. My uncle was only allowed supervised weekend visits with their daughter, which his b*tch of an ex wife cheated him out of by working unpaid overtime during the weekends, which also forced my cousin to grow up with neither parent heavily involved in her life. This caused her to suffer severe abandonment issues that continue to affect her to this day. Because of this, when my uncle married his second wife (my aunt), he asked her to keep her maiden name after the wedding, which also led to the two daughters they had together getting her maiden name instead of my uncle’s last name so that he wouldn’t be reminded about the sadness that his first marriage, divorce, and loss of primary child custody caused him. Therefore, this “criticism” basically says that my uncle’s family structure is illogical and shouldn’t exist, which is very insensitive to him, my oldest cousin, and all the other divorced fathers out there.

Okay okay give me ...gimme a second.

Okay, yeah, that's fair.

And we can respectfully critique the writers for not doing enough to explain that.

Here's the issue.

As you can see....there is no respect from most critics. The fact that you're trying to be respectful is something the RWBY Fandom appreciates.

We can take criticism. When its respectful. Insulting the writers ain't respectful, and you don't do that. They do. And then they complain that Miles and Kerry are immature for not respecting their insults and demands.

The fact that the RWBY Critics like to mock fans' mental health or tell them to take pills also concerns me, but that's for another conversation.

Now to answer your question.

Technically, Taiyang was married to Raven Branwen when he and Summer had Ruby, even though Tai and Raven split.

And Summer did not take Taiyang's last name.

They weren't married after all, and I can imagine a woman like Summer wanting to keep her own identity to remind Tai that she wasn't some Silver Medal, but his hero.

After Summer's Death, Tai probably refrained from changing Ruby's last name out of reverence for her mom.

That's how we can respect the writer's viewpoint.

Though I imagine people are going to scream at me and say "there's no excuse for lazy writing, stop justifying rwby's bad writing."

At this point we might as well consider RWDE to be a conservative group. They certainly embrace many of the values.

[27helena-solaris]

A Dangerous Encounter: Chapter 2

Scylla's body screamed at her with the sharp sensation of pain as she slowly crawled back into the trees with her eyes closed, when something suddenly grabbed her leg, dragging Scylla somewhere else. Her mind was spinning and it felt like it was dunked in ice. Scylla heard muffled voices, screaming for mercy from a master. She opened one eye slowly, wincing as the screams rose in volume. It seems she was left in a bush, with multiple injuries on her neck and torso.

For once, Scylla was glad to be an EXE.

Groaning softly, Scylla sat up, being careful to not make too much noise. She looked up to see a large, fluffy, gray destroying a large amount of the strange people in front of the Master Emerald's altar, turning them into dust. Scylla's fists clenched in anger.

"Oh, you little-" Scylla started to whisper, but immediately stopped as the god-like hedgehog turned to face the bushes on the other side of the altar.

The hedgehog asked the bushes, "Did you enjoy the show?"

A blue hedgehog ran out of the bushes, shouting with a mix of anger and hatred, "YOU!"

Scylla looked at the gray hedgehog, wondering internally, "What did you do to this hedgehog to make him hate you so much?"

Her question was answered quickly as the gray hedgehog stopped the blue hedgehog in his tracks with telekinesis.

The blue hedgehog asked angrily, "Do you know who I am?"

The gray hedgehog looked through the blue hedgehog's eyes as though he could see through him, and said emotionlessly, "Sonic Oglivie the Hedgehog, son of Jules the Hedgehog and Bernadette the Hedgehog. Your ancestor, Jonathan Hedgehog, was two of the last two souls sacrificed to me."

Scylla then heard the gray hedgehog say something about Sonic being a copy of someone called Heephis. Sonic stuttered, "W-what?"

Then, to Scylla's ever-growing rage and horror, the gray hedgehog starts to tear Sonic's cheek off, asking him if the gray hedgehog should repeat himself.

Scylla subconsciously let out a quiet, yet angry growl. She knew that this is not how you should treat people, "godly" or otherwise. She was so ready to tackle the gray hedgehog to the afterlife, she was startled to see the gray hedgehog's hand freeze. Looking around, Scylla spotted a silvery-gray hedgehog using telekinesis, and Scylla gasped softly in concern.

The silvery-gray hedgehog was...scarily thin, to say the least, but he looked a lot like the larger, more gray hedgehog.

Scylla decided to call the silvery-gray hedgehog Silver, after the silvery sheen his fur gave off. Somehow, the gray hedgehog broke free from Silver's telekinesis and walked toward him.

Scylla started to silently stalk toward Silver in case the gray hedgehog decides to harm him. She could practically smell the confusion wafting from Silver. Scylla transformed into a sleek, navy blue wolf with raven wings as she silently stalked closer to Silver. Scylla's bright, glowing, red eyes glinted with a motherly concern for the weaker hedgehogs, and a vengeful anger at this powerful, gray hedgehog for what he has done to this world.

Scylla used an illusion to cloak her existence from the hedgehogs as she got closer to them. The emotionless look in the gray hedgehog's face led Scylla to angrily assume that he didn't care for anyone in existence. Scylla's red eyes glowed brighter as her anger grew.

What snapped Scylla out of the angry trance was the smell of blood and sickly coughing. Scylla's head snapped towards Silver, who was hacking and coughing up blood on the ground. Scylla's eyes widened in concern, letting out a worried bark and quickly ran over and started curling Silver against Scylla's body. She didn't care if no one could sense her existence, she wanted to comfort Silver if he was dying.

"HEY!" Sonic's voice shouted. Scylla looked at Sonic, whose eyes were glowing a sun yellow. Sonic said in a god language, "Leave my brother alone!" Scylla could feel a god's power radiating from Sonic. Looking at Silver, Scylla realized that if Silver truly was truly someone's brother, she'll need to protect them all.

Scylla didn't know how or why she felt the need to protect them, she just does. It was probably just her instincts. If there was only a way to make it disappear...

The grey hedgehog forced Sonic to kneel. Scylla's mind was swimming with unsaturated rage as this grey hedgehog was talking. Scylla glared at the grey hedgehog.

A black hedgehog with red stripes in his quills suddenly appears with a violet gun pointed to the grey hedgehog, earning an amused smirk from Scylla as she watches what happens next.

The black hedgehog started demanding that the grey hedgehog tell them what's going on and how to fix the problem. Often getting interrupted, the gray hedgehog grew angry. Scylla enjoyed the taste of this deity's anger, a devilish smile forming on her wolfish lips as she thought about how the emotionless being would taste.

Suddenly, Silver, Sonic, and the black hedgehog were brought to face the gray hedgehog and were forced to kneel. Sonic noticed several glowing objects that were apparently called energy controllers. Scylla growled at the grey hedgehog for his treatment toward living beings.

The grey hedgehog soon said something about their origins, which caught Scylla's attention quickly.

"Then what ARE your origins?" The black hedgehog demanded.

Scylla sat closer to the forest nearby, silently begging that someone explained what the grey hedgehog's origins are. From the currently invisible expression on the invisible wolf's face, Scylla was dying of curiosity.

The grey hedgehog said calmly, "Correction... OUR origins."

[blairjfk]

“you made a fucking pros and cons list of being with me?” she swears she could hear her heart snap in two. "oh, you weren't supposed to see that." "what the hell is wrong with you?" the paper still in her hand, angry tears bubbling in her eyes, but she refuses to let them spill completely. "babe, please, come on," he attempts to pull her closer to him, trying to take it from her in the process. only to get a rejection in return. "i love you, you know that, but we just can't just pretend those things aren't true." oh, love. love. love. love. she feels sick to her stomach. her flaws, the worst things she has ever thought about herself being used against her. it's so, so sick. a bitter laugh is the only that falls from her mouth in that moment. "oh, you wanna talk about flaws? fine. you're an asshole who constantly makes me cry and you only wish you could be half of the person your brother is." as fast as the words come out, the demeanor in her boyfriend completely changes. "what does he have to do with anything?" "oh my god, is that the part you're stuck on, cassius? not the asshole who constantly make me cry part? good to know." in retrospect, maybe she shouldn't have said it, she knows how strained their relationship is, but honestly, who gives a fuck now? she can go just as low. "is that where you've been when i can't ahold of you? what, are you sleeping with him now?" he did not. oh, just when she thought she could not get any angrier. blair could be a lot of things, but a cheater? "i'm not actually, but hey, that's a great idea. he's probably way better. right?" "real fucking classy, blair." and now he wants to talk about class. oh, the irony, the irony. "and why do you care? i'm not your girlfriend anymore, all i know is he wouldn't write a fucking pros and cons list about me," the raven haired girl blurted out, crumpling the paper in her hand and tossing it at him before slamming the door on her way out.

in a turn of events that surprises absolutely nobody blair is crying. again. and she hates it. she hates that she gives people the power to hurt her and it just leaves her feeling... powerless. all the alcohol she consumed within the past few hours since then not helping the waterworks. she just wants one person right now. no, not her ex. his brother. and it's such a tricky, delicate thing. how augustine is almost always on her mind, how she sees something that reminds her of him and immediately wanting to tell him about it, how he never made her feel less than. she just felt better around him. it's a weird thing dating a twin. blair can't stand to be around cassius, but seeing someone with his exact same face might actually heal her. oh, b, you dumb bitch, you've really done it now. it'd be ideal if she could just sleep it off. yet, there she was. phone open to a certain contact. she shouldn't bother him. her relationship problems weren't his. the ballerina is drunk, not thinking clearly. pressing the call button, blair regrets it and thinks about hanging up until he answers. "hey, auggie," she begins delicately, "i'm sorry for calling so late." there's a good amount of guilt running through her system right now. it's late and she's doing this. "but i kind of drank a lot...." yeah, he can probably tell. "and-- can you come over? i don't really feel good and i'd feel better if you were here," oh, blair, when will you ever learn?

[bruciemilf]

Desperately want an AU where Bruce and Harvey are not only ex-boyfriends, but divorced.

Bruce is doing his best to raise Dick on his own, juggle being Gotham's vigilant shadow-born hero, and honor what's left of his family's memory.

Even in his seventh year, there's still a lot to be polished. Yes, he helps people. Yes, he's doing his best. But his best isn't enough; It never feels like enough. But Harvey's there for all of it.

With his comforting hands and strong fingers and vigilant eyes, holding Dick close, shielding his bright eyes from Bruce's bloody, close to maimed figure.

And they're good together; Harvey makes him happy. When Jason, an angry, passion driven, fearless youth all but spits on his shoes when trying to steal his tires, Bruce knows they fit together.

He feels even more confident in that when Harvey laughs and ruffles Jay's raven hair. " I want him," he whispers in Bruce's ear that same night, wedding ring lacing with his own. " Another boy. Another boy with mio cariño. "

It doesn't take long for Jason to notice his bruising, his limping, his hissing and flinching. Bruce had no other option but to pull him aside and explain what he was doing behind the scenes after he nearly smothered Harvey in his sleep.

" I guess I shouldn't have assumed that," he shrugs. " You're built like one of Snow White's dwarfs." Of course Bruce chokes on his coffee, but Harvey takes revenge by kicking him in the hip.

Jason wants in; And Maybe Bruce is supposed to object to his husband pulling their son aside to teach him all legal tricks and shifts to avoid arrest, but he can't bring himself to.

They're happy. For as long as it lasted.

Maybe he was supposed to see it coming, because happy is never permanent. It washes like filth under water for him. Harvey's accident happens. Jason happens. Joker happens.

And their family splits like a blade on smooth skin. Bruce started this alone, and he has a strong feeling he'll end this alone. Dick is doing what he always does, - tries his best.

Even if Bruce can tell he's split in half by seeing his parents fight. It's this dark aspect of their path; This brutality in it. And Jason of course is closer to Harvey because they're kindred companions in their hatred.

Just - there's so many things. Harvey calling Bruce by his old nickname, with a sneer between his teeth, no soft love rolling on his tongue like it used to.

Two- Face poisons something in him. Or maybe, this was Harvey all along, and dark recognizes dark, because Bruce understands him. " Jay Jay say anythin' to you these days?"

He doesn't respond; Tries focusing Batmobile's tires screeching under them. Out of all Arkham escapees, he's always eager to get rid of Two Face the most.

He's something close to happy , close to relief, that between this wall of resentment sticking on them like glue and wax, Harvey at least remembers their boys. God, our poor boys.

Two-Face clicks his tongue, scarring tugged in a smirk. " No, eh? He calls me sometimes. Brat only calls his Daddy when he needs somethin', can ya believe that?"

" Never did that to me."

" I said his daddy."

Teeth in his cheek, sorrow on his heart, ashes in his mouth, " Low blow, Harvey."

" That ain't my fuckin' name, sweetheart," he hisses, ugly and mean, and he makes a show of squeezing Bruce's thigh, sinking his blunt nails through two layers on kevlar. " You ain't got no right to call me by that, yeah?"

" Don't worry, " Bruce hates this; He hates losing that tight leash on restrained because of him; Hates that Harvey holds the key to his emotions, to all vulnerable cracks he made sure to harden harshly. " I don't want to know you anymore."

" Sure," There's a snap of sour, bitter disgust coating Harvey's tone, and Bruce almost misses it from his heart's thumping. " But do me a favour, cariño. Move that clown somewhere else. Cause If I'm alone with 'em, I'm digging his grave."

" If you can find him, I'll let you."

He can't see it, but Harvey's left side is grinning. " Sometimes I regret lettin' you get that damn divorce."

" And moments like these remind me why I wanted one."

No words after; They've said enough. But Harvey's hand still hugs his thigh, and Bruce makes no moves to remove it.

[kob131]

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBYcritics/comments/vpbf7w/okay_i_played_nice_but_i_am_going_to_finally_vent/

Hope you don’t mind if I vent to, because this is horse shit.

But then I was reminded of Volume Nine, of how CRWBY said, oh it's going to be Ruby's Volume, and then more came out, and we get a vague description, a name of some Island that is either going to be the afterlife or some bloody alternate future all samurai jack style or maybe not even any of those effing things!

And then of course it turns out they are going to introduce even more new characters. Despite saying this is Ruby's volume. You know....

RUBY GODDAMN ROSE!

I would like to point out that the closest thing to a ‘character’ that we know of is the talking mouse. Which given its first scene is to basically set up and act as a step in RUBY’S journey- this doesn’t really make sense.

And spoiler alert- the issue of ‘I completely ignored shit so I can angry’ is a recurring issue.

The Girl whose trailer sold the show long before the other trailers showed up!

Who didn’t HAVE a character at the time and could have been replaced with ANYONE in the show since it was about the ACTION.

The Girl the pilot episode was named after!

Ever heard of a red herring?

The Girl who has silver eyes that function like fucking Deus Ex Machinas!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina

“Deus ex machina (/ˌdeɪəs ɛks ˈmækɪnə, - ˈmɑːk-/ DAY-əs ex-MA(H)K-in-ə,[1] Latin: [ˈdɛ.ʊs ɛks ˈmaːkʰɪnaː]; plural: dei ex machina; English "god out of the machine")[2][3] is a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem in a story is suddenly and abruptly resolved by an unexpected and unlikely occurrence.[4][5] Its function is generally to resolve an otherwise irresolvable plot situation, to surprise the audience, to bring the tale to a happy ending, or act as a comedic device.[6] “

By definition, they only qualify in Volume 3.

AND YET IN WHAT WARPED VISION OF REALITY COULD ANYONE EVER CALL HER THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER?!

WHAT HAS SHE ACTUALLY DONE FOR MOST OF THE SHOW?!

The reality we live in, where she is responsible for EVERYTHING after Volume 3.

No, really. Ruby chooses to leave, taking Jaune, Ren and Nora with her. By Jaune’s own admission, they would not have done so. She also motivated Yang to leave, leading to find Raven and thus rescue Weiss. Her presence also causes Cinder to push up their plan for Haven, which ends up fucking them over and foiling their plans. It also means Blake is able to stop them as Adam couldn’t get backup from Salem’s faction, to say nothing of how Ruby’s actions also lead to Tyrian being forced back instead of inevitably joining the fight given his hunt for the Spring Maiden.

Volume 4 and 5, thus by extension 6-8, only work because of RUBY’s decision.

But hey, maybe he has a brilliant rebuttal to this!

Volume One she legit did fucking nothing! It was mostly Blake that did shit!

... I didn’t know Volume 1 consisted of two episodes. Given that’s ALL that Blake is active for.

Then Volume Two? Once again it's Blake's stuff that is largely driving the fucking plot and Ruby just happens to be there! She fought Cinder for a bit, but that goes nowhere, and it's only real time they've fought, because Volume Three wasn't even really a fight, it was just deus ex machina!

Completely ignoring that Ruby is the one to decide to split up, involving everyone and thus ensuring the destruction of the Paladin.

Ruby: (Ruby raises her hand and does other random gestures, while looking manic.) Okay, all in favor of becoming the youngest Huntresses to single-handedly taking down a corrupt organization conspiring against the Kingdom of Vale... say aye.

And that she’s also responsible for going to Mt. Glenn.

Ruby: This is perfect! All we have to do is shadow a Huntsman working in the southeast!

Yang: Yeah! We'll follow them around by day and give them the slip by night!

Weiss: Let's check "search and destroy"!

Team RWBY approaches a hologram screen.

Ruby: Here we go! Quadrant 5 needs Grimm cleared out!

Blake: Well, it's in the southeast!

Yang: Sounds perfect!

Ruby selects it and types in her team name. However, the screen says that first years are not allowed to take this mission.

Weiss: Wonderful!

Blake: Any other ideas?

Ruby: We mail ourselves there!

Ozpin: (offscreen) Well, that's one option.

Ozpin suddenly appears.

Ozpin: Unfortunately, we determined that the concentration of Grimm was too extreme for first-year students. It seems that particular region is rather popular. In fact, I have the sneaking suspicion that you four will make your way there no matter which job you choose.

Weiss, Blake, and Yang glare at Ruby, who nervously rubs her head.

Ruby: Whatever makes you say that?

Ozpin: I'm still curious how you all found yourself at the docks last semester. I'm interested to know how you really learned about a hideout in the southeast. And I certainly wonder why witnesses reported seeing robots and rose petals in a dance club some time ago.

Ruby: Um... well...

Ozpin: I doubt I'll ever find the exact answers I'm looking for. So how about this: instead of waiting for you all to break the rules, why don't we just bend them?

Ozpin selects some things on his scroll, and the hologram screen makes a noise.

Ruby: We won't let you down. Thank you, professor.

As well as bring Zwei-

Oobleck: Young lady, what in the world could you possibly have in that bag that could be so important to bring it with... (Stops as the bag's zipper opens and out pops Zwei's head, causing everyone to stare at the uninvited guest.)

-Who in turn sets off the finale by following WF guards, leading to RUBY HERSELF following him.

Ruby: Huh? Zwei, it's late. Go back to bed. (Zwei runs off.) Zwei! Zwei! Ugh! (Ruby wanders out of the building, looking for Zwei.) Zwei! Zwei, where are you? Zwei! Huh? (Ruby spots Zwei urinating on some ruins.) Zwei, this is a wasteland! You literally could have done that anywhere!

Zwei: Bark!

WF Guard 1: What was that?

Having heard the WF Guard, Ruby hides behind some ruins.

WF Guard 2: What was what?

WF Guard 1: I thought I heard a Beowolf or something.

WF Guard 2: Hmph. Let's just finish our patrol and get back to base. This place gives me the creeps.

As the WF Guards walk away, Ruby and Zwei sneak around in the background, following them. They eventually reach a ruined building with a pair of metal doors, and Ruby hides behind a corner, holding Zwei out to watch them.

Ruby: Did they go in yet? One bark means yes.

The sound of the door closing echoes out.

Zwei: Bark!

Ruby: Oh! This is it! This is it! (She brings out a small scroll and tries to call her teammates. However, the screen says "Low Signal") Aw man! Come on, we gotta get the others!

Ruby and Zwei hurry off down the street. However, the asphalt beneath them suddenly sinks before caving in. Ruby grabs onto a ledge and catches Zwei. She tosses him up out of the hole and begins to attempt to pull herself up. However, the ledge she is holding onto breaks off, and she plummets into a huge cave filled with ruined buildings, far below the surface. She lands on a building up against a cavern wall, and as she gets up, a nearby door bursts open to reveal two other WF Guards, one of whom is Perry.

But sure. Being responsible for both of Volume 2′s ACTUAL conflicts is ‘not being the main character.’

Speaking of Volume Three is Pyrrha's Volume, and RWBY just happens to exist there.

Ignoring Ruby’s connection Penny and Qrow, important figures in Volume 3...and her fights with Torchwick which end with him killed before he could cause more damage...and going off to find Jaune and Pyrrha which leads to crippling Cinder and thus Cinder’s motivation from then on.

Real lack of agency, focus or connection.

Then come Volume Four, and while Yang is angsting on her ass, except no it gets glossed over because it's too fucking boring apparently.

You are begging for attention on a subreddit that made dealing with an overwhelming situation about fucking tea. Kiss my ass.

Weiss mopes until she is out of there.

I didn’t know ‘was forced to be a puppet by her father because it is the only certainty’ was “moping”.

And Blake instead of trying to stick around and protect her team and friends, she runs away to go cry to her bloody family! It being lucky that Adam didn't fucking carry through on his threat!

It’s called a ‘flaw’. I know basic writing concepts is not this subreddit’s forte but even ignorant high schoolers understand this.

And Ruby? Don't fucking make me laugh, Volume Three might have had her come up with the idea to go to Haven.

But she sure as fuck wasn't leading Team RNJR despite the name.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you who the leader was before Ozpin came along. It seemed to either be Jaune or Qrow.

Hold on, he forgot something.

And Ruby? Don't fucking make me laugh, Volume Three might have had her come up with the idea to go to Haven which single handedly caused the events of Volume 4+ to actually function but we all know you fucks are basically trained parrots.

But she sure as fuck wasn't leading Team RNJR despite the name.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you who the leader was before Ozpin came along. It seemed to either be Jaune or Qrow. 

Explanation? Uh....RWBY bad!

There, fixed it.

Ruby gets a little nightmare, gets a little sad, but NOPE CAN'T HAVE THAT, INSTEAD SURE, LET'S JUST FUCKING FOCUS ON JAUNE FOR A BIT, EVEN THOUGH WE JUST HAD RUBY HAVING A NIGHTMARE!

Which is shown to be caused by a recording of Pyrrha JAUNE had.

But hey, let’s check how that little thread ended. I know we are aware Jaune will completely overshadow Ruby because OP has been batting a 1000 so far but just to strengthen his argument, let’s che-

Ruby looks at Qrow before standing and approaching Jaune.

Ruby: I'm sorry.

Jaune: Huh?

He turns around to face her, though she is not looking up.

Ruby: This is all my fault. I should have never dragged you guys into this.

Jaune: You didn't drag us in. We wanted to come.

Ruby: But you didn't know about Tyrian, about—

Jaune: (cutting her off) Ruby. We lost... We lost Pyrrha.You lost her, too. And Penny, and your team, and in a way... your sister. But you're still here, despite everything you've lost, everything you could still lose, you chose to come out here.

Ruby turns to face Jaune, and becomes emotional as he continues.

Jaune: Because you felt like you could make a difference.

She lifts her head and looks at him.

Jaune: You didn't drag us along. You gave us the courage to follow you.

He puts his hand on her shoulder. She smiles at him, grateful, and he smiles back.

It ends with Jaune talking about how great Ruby is. Which anyone not huffing paint thinner would know that it was focused on RUBY then.

And then Volume Five... Oh look, Ruby has a little crush on Ruby/Jaune 2.0 with Wizard Mentor stuck inside of him. A character that is now as fucking important as Ruby herself, and he was introduced in volume fucking four, after three volumes, where our main character barely gets any fucking development, whose silver eyes are barely explored at all!

... Oscar’s the one with the crush, not Ruby. I know that you are desperately trying to play on the subreddit’s need to hear ‘RWBY bad’ in order to hide how contradictory to canon your arguments are but you must know: good lies require a core of truth.

And BTW- Ruby was the one to recover from seeing Blake first and ordered Yang to follow Raven and Cinder, which lead to them getting the Relic. So once again, Ruby single handedly shapes the following Volumes through her actions.

The little jackass is just thrust into being one of if not the most important character in regards to the plot more than Ruby, the so-called main goddamn character!

Not really, it’s just you and desperate critics saying that.

And all she amounts to in Volume Five, is getting one little letter, getting her ass kicked by Emerald, to make Oscar get the power of fucking super boner to go save her ass.

Blake: Yang?

Yang stares back at her in disbelief, before her sister snaps her out of her trance.

Ruby: Yang! Go! (pointing in the direction of the vault entrance)

Yang runs forward. Emerald and Mercury try to stop her.

Emerald: No!

Emerald tries to stop Yang, but fails to and falls to the ground. Mercury grabs her prosthetic arm. Yang's eyes briefly turn red before turning back to normal. She detaches her arm and continues forward, causing Mercury to lose his balance for a bit. She jumps down the hole leading to the vault. Emerald and Mercury attempt to give chase, but they are stopped by an ice wall that suddenly appears in front of them. They turn around and see Weiss with her Queen Lancer summon as she prepares to fight the both of them. Jaune watches from his position and smiles. Ruby then turns back around to look at Blake, and both nod at each other as the cat Faunus goes back outside to join the battle.

Wasn’t lying when I said that Ruby is responsible for Volume 6 onward too.

And all she amounts to in Volume Five, is getting one little letter, getting her ass kicked by Emerald, to make Oscar get the power of fucking super boner to go save her ass.

You know, for a supposed Ruby fan, you sure do love ignoring her accomplishments.

Almost like you only like a certain version of Ruby.

And what does this all amount to for Ruby? Nothing! Because now at least when she made a choice to go to Haven, it was her own fucking choice.

But now? Oh she just heads to Atlas, because Ozpin said so.

Ozpin. The guy who actually knows what’s going on and what to do. 

This is like that one trope of a salesman tricking someone into buying shit by appealing to their pride, except the salesman is 100% serious.

And then Six finally tries to give Ruby shit to do. But what does she fucking do? She drags the painful truth of Ozpin's past out of Ozpin, and her team just watches by, calls him a bastard, and her Uncle is allowed to just punch a little boy, who while I fucking hate Oscar right now, since I am in full fucking rage mode. And will cool down eventually, that punch was still out of line!

So, gonna mention that RUBY was the one to comfort Oscar?

Oscar: (grabbing the cane) I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?

Ruby: (puts her hand on his) Of course not. You're your own person.

No? Weird since you’re SUUUCH a Ruby fan...

And then she later fucking balls on her Uncle, forces him to quit drinking, pretty much tells him "Fuck You" In her "We dOn'T NeEd AdulTs" Speech.

... Qrow kept drinking himself into a dysfunctional mess every given chance, constantly kept bringing the mood down in a world where negativity attracts DEADLY Grimm and did fuck all to help. Cry me a river.

And then I could maybe excuse stealing the airship into Atlas, if there was no real other solution but there was, Weiss could get in, with the relic and maybe Qrow in his bird form.

*pulls out a tape recorder and presses play*

“Weiss was specifically stated she could go HOME, to her STAUNCHLY ANTI-IRONWOOD father who LOCKED HER AWAY. And crows can fly at max 40 miles continuously. Atlas is farther away on the map than me and my mom at 90 miles.”

What was the actual fucking point in that conflict? Nothing! But the fact they just wanted to show off a big fancy mech! But it did nothing for the characters.

Cordovin: Surrender for your crimes, and accept your punishment.

Ruby: (defiantly) No!

Cordovin gasps in shock as Ruby's friends look to her.

Ruby: We're going to Atlas. Bigger people than you have tried to stop us and failed, but we're supposed to be on the same side! We're supposed to use our power to protect people, but you just use yours to look down on everyone!

Cordovin ponders Ruby's words.

Ruby: We didn't want to steal from you. We did it because you gave us no other choice! Now I'm giving you one last chance to stand down and hear us out.

Silence for a moment.

Cordovin: I've heard enough...

Cordovin then aims her arm cannon at Ruby. Ruby's friends run over to her in panic.

Oscar: (reaching out) Ruby!!

Qrow gains a look of horror on his face as Cordovin fires up the arm cannon. Suddenly Ruby uses her Semblance and flies into the arm cannon.

Cordovin: WHAT?!!

Nora: She's NUTS!!

Ruby continues flying into the arm cannon.

Jaune: The missile launcher springs out... but the raw dust gets locked in!

Inside the arm cannon, Ruby plants Crescent Rose into the ground and takes aim at the buildup of Dust. She fires and uses her Semblance to quickly get out of the arm cannon. Suddenly, the arm cannon explodes, covering it in ice and stone.

Cordovin: What?! No! NO!!

As Ruby flies backward, her Aura runs out and falls unconscious. Her fall is slowed down by black Glyphs from Weiss, and Qrow catches his niece in his arms. Weiss collapses in exhaustion as Jaune, Ren and Nora run over to her.

P.S. remember that ‘for the characters’ bit. It’ll bite him in the ass in 3...2...1-

And then Volume Seven happens, and she lies to Ironwood, because sure why the fuck not. It's not like he didn't give her sister an arm, it's not like he didn't fight alongside her uncle for years, helped during the Fall, or was accommodating to them, and let them on his plan.

I won't be too much of a simp for Ironwood, and claim he was flawless, I love him but he did do some wrong things. But he didn't do anything wrong at the beginning that would warrant Ruby to fucking lie to him, not only does it insult Ironwood, it insults Ruby's own character who barely got any development, but what I can say for absolute certainty, is the Ruby Rose of Volumes One and Two wouldn't have fucking lied about something that important.

It was one thing when she and her team were tracking down leads on the white fang and roman in Volume Two. That was a personal matter, and they still didn't know the larger picture.

But to just lie about Salem and the Relics? And her immortality? Shit that everyone should probably know before trying to pick some big epic fight with Salem? Just fucking hell!

And despite how her team confronts her about it, they're just as bad because they wag their little fingers, but they have no trouble going behind Ruby's back to Robyn and letting her in on secrets, yet they couldn't be bothered to let Ironwood know the truth.

And the writers couldn't even let Ruby own up to Ironwood, no who did they give that burden of responsibility to? Oh yeah Ruby/Jaune 2.0. Not Ruby Rose.

Hey look at that, him completely ignoring Ruby’s character to bitch. Who knew?

A. Ozpin did more and still proved untrustworthy. That is not how people work.

B. Ruby tried to sneak off to fight the White Fang, with despite what you say WASN’T personal.

C. Almost like she’s MEANT to be wrong.

D. Gee, not like YANG confronted her over NOT TELLING THE TRUTH which SHE did.

E. And who confronted Ironwood on his decision, was portrayed as his counterpart for the heroes and remained his opposition in Volume 8? ... Ruby? Oh damn that pesky canon!

But surely she got some cool new upgrades? Some scenes with her dear friend Penny? Or I dunno anything? No?

Not even a rematch with Cinder... Oh Cinder got scared and ran away when Ruby's eyes glowed.

Okay... uh anything else... no that's it...

“She got to be the driving force. Again.”

“AUGH! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!”

And then Volume Eight...

Ughhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh let's just shove her into the fucking mansion, and let Yang, Jaune, and Ren go into the fucking whale. Not Ruby, not Weiss, or Blake, just sure, no wonder people keep thinking Jaune is the real main character you bleeping-

And then that plan, that fucking plan, and maybe it would've even worked somewhat, except, the writers don't even let her use her silver eyes once, because they know that Cinder shouldn't have any fucking chance at all. And don't give me horsecrap about her needing to focus, because in the previous volumes, she seemed to do it near instantly.

“Sir, we have video evidence that a lot more happened and it directly contradicts you.”

“Well I don’t see it!”

“That’s because you gouged your eyes out.”

Okay now that the rant is over. Time to get somber.-

By ‘somber’ he means, ‘dig up Monty while proclaiming he isn’t to preach about how RWBY was better with him even though his own arguments would say otherwise, all while trying to tug on your emotional connection to Monty so that you won’t think.”

I’ve said it a thousand times so here’s a thousand and one: Just dig up his corpse. You’d be more honest. Fuck you and fuck your emotional manipulation,

As I demonstrated, your arguments mean nothing. You go in looking for confirmation of your feelings and thus ignore the ever growing mountain of evidence against you. Nothing you say matters because you’d say it no matter what. You coculd have avoided all of this by putting in less effort.

You choose to get angry. And so, you have no one to blame but yourself.

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 4

Parings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content Warnings: Violence, torture, this one gets a little spicy y’all, descriptions of sexual acts, hints of abuse (please let me know if i’ve missed any)

Word Count: 14.8K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in The Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened be be Humanity’s Strongest... and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

A/N: well, you guys wanted it all in one post! this is by far the longest chapter, yet, and possibly the longest chapter in the entire fic maybe? i’ve caught myself up now with the progress of writing, since i’ve only completed one part of the next chapter so chapter 5 won’t be out within the next three days like these last four have been. i’m thinking i’ll need maybe a week? not sure, but the next part has a little flashback section which i hope you’ll all enjoy!

god these a/n’s are really long aren’t they? asdfghjkl sorry i’ll make the cut off now. hope you enjoy!!!

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

Whether it had been thirty minutes or thirty years, you couldn’t tell. Struggling to stay conscious as the four soldiers brought your limp body back to your cell. Your legs no longer work, gathering dust as they drag across the ground. Your abdomen and back were on fire. You were convinced. They had simply thrown you into hell to cook for a bit before dragging you back out. There was no other explanation. Other than the countless, seemingly endless beatings you had just taken. Whether your legs were tired or if your spine was broken, you couldn’t tell as they tossed you back behind bars, removing the rope around your wrists. You didn’t have the strength to fight back. Didn’t have the strength to even raise your head as they left.

Broken, split ribs sent agonising jolts of pain as you shifted in a lame attempt to curl up into a ball. You hadn’t cracked like they’d wanted you to. You hadn’t screamed, cried, begged them to stop. And you wouldn’t. When they came back for you, you would hold your tongue once again. You had never broken in the past. Whether you’d been compromised during an assault on a rival gang, or whether it was one of your mentor’s training exercises to get you used to torture. You had never broken.

You weren’t about to start now.

Still, the throbbing in your body prevented you from sleeping. You didn’t know what time it was. Time had escaped you during that ordeal. You didn’t even know what time of day it was, pretty sure it was night when they had come for you.

Fuck, your body ached. But you knew comfort was a long way from here. It always seemed so far away from where you were. Did you ever have comfort?

You lay there for god knows how long, seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours. Hours could have turned to days for all you knew.

When the now familiar echo of footsteps reached your ears, you didn’t move. You didn’t care. Whoever it was could rot in hell for all you cared. Wishing death upon these fucking soldiers was the only thing keeping you from giving up right now.

“The bed not good enough or something?” Levi. Shit. The one person you didn’t want to see you like this.

You didn’t answer, choosing instead to try and count as many marks on the wall as you could. It helped to keep your focus off the dull throbbing coursing through your body.

“Oi, ‘you seriously still asleep? It's almost midday,” the singing of metal caused you to wince slightly as he rapped on the bars in an attempt to wake you from a sleep you weren’t in.

“Get the fuck u—” You had a vague idea what caused him to stop his impending barrage of insults you knew were about to flutter effortlessly from his mouth, and you couldn’t tell if you were thankful or not. On the upside, you didn’t have to hear whatever colourful language he was about to spew. On the downside…

“What happened to you…?” it was the second time he’d asked that question, but from the tone of his voice, you could tell this was less a passing thought and more of a question prompted by horror.

Levi froze. His breath caught in his throat. He had expected you to be awake by now. To be up, with that crooked, cocky smile on your face. In fact, he’d half expected you to be leaning against the wall, the door flung wide open as you twirled the keychain around your finger, simply begging him to ask you how you’d done it.

The last thing he expected to see was you, on the floor, curled into a ball. The shirt on your lower back riding up enough for him to see violent, deep purple bruises, blood steadily streaming from your spine and lower back.

Still you refused to answer, or even move. Filthy fucking soldiers, you fucking hated every last one of them. How fucking dare they? How dare they string you up like a piece of drying meat. They had no idea what you’d been through. What you’d had to do to survive. How dare they assume.

And yet,

And yet there was still that little voice in your head. That little kernel of doubt, convincing you that you deserved this. You had killed so many. So much blood was on your hands.

You deserved this.

You didn’t even notice Levi had entered your cell until a hand rested upon your shoulder.

“(Y/N)—”

“Don’t fucking touch me,” your reaction was instant. Instinctual. Immediately wrenching out of his hand, throwing yourself forward. A yelp escaped your mouth without your permission, fire igniting in your body as you moved so suddenly. It caused you to falter in your movements, landing harshly on your side. “Shit!” your voice broke as you yelped, agony flaring in your entire midsection, hand flying to clutch your side as you backed up against the wall. “Don’t fucking touch me,” there was no conviction in your voice. It was more of a plea than anything. If you had raised your head to look at him, maybe you would have laughed at his expression of twisted shock.

But instead you let your hair fall in front of your face, masking your own expression. Teeth grit in silent pain, eyes screwed shut.

Levi’s worry turned to outright unsettling fear. Over the last two days, he’s witnessed you more broken than he’s ever seen you before. He remembered sitting up with you after you’d woken from one of your nightmares. The two of you sitting on the floor against the wall, sharing a cup of tea to not waste resources. He’d seen you angry. He’d seen you upset. But he’d never seen you shattered.

“(Y/N)...” you’d forgotten how soft his usual bored voice could sound. Even after yesterday, you hadn’t heard that tone from him in years. It was borderline unnatural.

It prompted you to raise your head ever so slightly, glaring at him through thick, matted (H/C) strands. You refused to let your guard down, even though the sight of him squatting before you, eyebrows gently creased with suppressed worry almost made you relax. But you weren’t about to be taken away and tortured again.

Any scrap of trust that may have manifested yesterday during the carriage ride and your conversation had been crushed.

“Get away from me,” you looked feral, bearing your teeth animalistically as you snarled. Though it didn’t seem to deter him. He knew a dog only bared its teeth when it was wounded, fearing to be hurt further.

Levi sighed through his nose as he stood. You flinched at his movement and watched as he made more of a conscious effort not to startle you. Your eyes squinted in suspicious confusion as he took a small cloth from his pocket and started running it under the tap.

It seemed the faucet did work. Good to know.

Returning to squat in front of you, his eyes flickered from your face to your abdomen.

“Show me,” he instructed gently, and you almost obeyed him. Almost.

“Go fuck yourself,” you spat instead, bringing your knees closer to your aching body. If you hadn’t been trained to withstand pain, you would have cried out as your abdomen begged you to stop constricting your muscles.

“I’m trying to help,” your ears caught the slight irritation in his tone, but you didn’t care. He could kick you for all you care.

Actually, you really didn’t want him to do that.

“I don’t want your help,”

“You need it.”

“Burn in hell, Levi,” it was the first time you’d actually used his name since you said it back when they first apprehended you, and Levi couldn’t deny that it cut deep. A sentiment he masked with a frustrated exhale. Clearly he’d expected resistance. Either that or he was just as tenacious as he used to be.

“Well, I'm definitely not going up,” he responded, that same softness in his tone and despite your situation, you couldn’t help the slight huff of amusement. It seemed to put him at ease too, content you weren’t about to lunge for his throat.

Slowly, you uncurled from your position, visibly wincing as your torn, beaten muscles relaxed. Levi took this as permission to inch closer and you felt a small appreciation for his trepidation.

Still, you couldn’t help but flinch every time he moved too fast. A simple reflex stemming from your training. It wasn’t really something you thought about, but it prompted the raven haired man to freeze every time you moved.

You refused to meet his eyes as he gently lifted the fabric of your shirt, hearing his breath hitch slightly.

“Holy shit…” He breathed. You hadn’t seen how bad your body was damaged, but judging by his reaction;

It sure as hell wasn’t good.

Levi felt he could kill someone. Actually, a lot of someones. Shit, when he finds out who was responsible for this he would make sure they wished they were never born. The same rage he felt when seeing you flinch for the first time once again coursed through his veins, and this time, he didn’t think he could just let it simmer.

“Who did this to you?” you blinked, his question caught you off guard. Didn’t he know? How didn’t he know? Surely every soldier in the damn military would revel in the idea of you being tortured all night. You clenched your jaw, refusing to respond. You didn’t know why you were being so stubborn. Maybe it was the sheer principle of not wanting to show any sort of weakness in front of him.

In fact, now you thought about it, it was definitely that. Whether Levi sensed it or not, he chose not to press you for an answer. Perhaps he did already know.

You hissed as the cold, damp cloth gently soothed your inflamed skin, glancing back to his face. You hated the way his focussed expression calmed your heart. Loathed how that crease in his eyebrows eased your whirling thoughts. Despised how, from this angle, you could see just how annoyingly attractive he had become.

“Can you move?” he asked, silver eyes rising up to meet your own. The low torchlight highlighted the heus of deep blue you knew he had hidden away. You pretended you looked away because you couldn’t stand the sight of his face, rather than the reality.

You were far too tempted to lean up and capture his lips.

“Yes,” Levi couldn’t tell if you were lying, shifting slightly to help you move but stopping immediately when you flinched away.

“Lie on the bed,” for the first time in ten years, you were compelled to follow an order. You weren’t even obedient towards Viper most of the time. But nonetheless, you found yourself struggling to your feet, an arm braced on the wall behind you.

Clearly respecting your independence, Levi took a step back, allowing you to find your own way. If you weren’t slightly delirious from the pain, you would have missed a kernel of respect flashing in his expression, before he swiftly turned away, washing the cloth again as you collapsed onto the so-called ‘mattress’ with a hiss.

Levi rung the small cloth out onto the floor, focussing on the way the droplets collided with the stone, rather than the way every movement you made caused you obvious pain. Once again, every fibre of his being was screaming at him to cradle you in his arms and whisper soft nothings into your ear. He wanted you to fall asleep next to him, your face buried in the crook of his neck. He craved to feel your soft hair through his fingertips, gently coercing you into dreams. It hurt so much that he could see you, but he couldn’t have you.

Turning to face away from him, you once again shrivelled into a ball. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want any of this. You just wanted to be left alone. But the dip in the bed behind you told you that wasn’t an option right now, muscles tensing on instinct.

he didn’t ask for permission this time as gentle fingers gripped your shirt, dragging up to reveal your brutalised back. If you could see his expression, you might have even been afraid. Darkness shrouded his face, teeth grit in utter hatred. A muscle in his jaw twitching from the effort of clamping his mouth so tightly.

His first touch felt like you’d been shocked by the static that built up on the bed clothes. The damp cool gliding across the welts and bruises across your back. Balling your hands into fists, you refused to make any sound. Still having the mindset of not wanting to give anyone the satisfaction of hearing you in pain. It was a mindset you didn’t think would leave you for a while.

Levi worked in silence, allowing you to settle and almost relax after a while. You wanted to trust him, but you didn’t. Not really. However, right now, you trusted him not to hurt you further. Simply content to relish in the way he soothed the pain. It didn’t come naturally. Every time he pressed too hard it took all your strength not to lunge for his throat, but he would stop upon hearing your sharp intake of breath, waiting for you to settle before continuing.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, you finally broke it with a question that had been budding in your mind.

“Why are you doing this?” your voice came out a rasped whisper, almost as if you hadn’t used your vocal chords for weeks. You were sure he wasn’t going to answer, opting instead to simply continue to clean your bruises. Another blanket of quiet had settled over the two of you before he responded.

“I don’t know,” he lied. Levi wasn’t sure why he lied. Honestly, he thought it was obvious enough. He still cared about you. So fucking much. It burned him to see you in so much pain. He’d never felt the mind numbing fury he felt when he saw what they’d done to you.

You weren’t really happy with the answer. If anything, it simply gave you more questions. But you were too tired to press for more. Almost too tired to notice when he’d stopped. Pulling your grimy shirt back down to your waist, you felt the mattress rise as he stood. You didn’t turn. You couldn’t turn. After the night you’d had, the exhaustion from the last 24 hours finally catching up on you.

Noticing how you were almost already asleep, Levi decided to throw caution to the wind.

You felt a soft caress through your dirt ridden hair, the action sending a pleasant buzz through your system. It was an action so familiar to the both of you, you wondered why you kept flinching away from his touch when all it did was gently drain you of energy.

“Sleep.”

You didn’t have time to contemplate his tone before the comforting nothingness claimed you.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Levi hadn’t been this angry in a long, long time. Sure, he’d been annoyed. When a solider made a stupid mistake or when a cadet didn’t know how to clean properly. But he hadn’t been this furious in years.

Maybe since the deaths of Isobel and Farlan.

It was obvious when Levi was in a bad mood. Sweeping through the headquarters like a storm. Cadets could almost feel his presence before they saw him, swiftly making themselves busy as he paid no attention to any of them. He had one goal in mind. One destination. And he didn’t even knock when he got there.

“Out. Now.” it wasn’t an order to disobey. When he opened the door to Erwin’s office, revealing a small meeting, Levi didn’t think twice to dismiss them, even if they were his superiors.

“Levi, what’s—”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll all leave the room for the next half an hour. Maybe longer depending on how this conversation goes,” his swirling eyes met Erwin’s and he swore he could detect the slightest fear in the man’s gaze.

Good.

He should be afraid.

Without so much as a mutter of goodbyes, the squad leaders and section commanders all dispersed, leaving the Captain alone with the Commander.

Erwin was the first to break the heavy silence.

“I’m assuming this is about Raven?” his voice didn’t waver, seeming to have regained his composure from the initial shock. But Levi wasn’t here for a dainty conversation. The unbridled rage pulsing through his bloodstream clouded his vision, almost seeing red.

“Did you know?”

“Levi—”

“Did. You. Know?” Levi hardly ever raised his voice. Usually it was only out in the field or on a mission, and that was only because it was easier to communicate that way. Keeping his bored, flat tones when slicing open the nape of a titan didn’t seem possible.

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep, defeated sigh.

“Yes. I knew. But Levi, you have to understand—”

“I don’t have to understand jackshit. Don’t you think she’s been through enough? She’s led a life being treated like an animal and now you’re allowing her to be beaten like one?”

“It’s necessary, Levi.”

“It’s barbaric!” Erwin had never heard such venom in his voice. Not even when he vowed to kill him all those years ago. He’d seen Levi’s rage. Witnessed it from afar. The way he tore through flesh like it was paper.

Never did he think he would be on the receiving end. Leaning forward, the blonde folded his arms against the desk, clearly conflicted.

“I know this is a difficult subject for you. You two grew up in the same environment, it would only be natural for you to care for her,” the conniving bastard. Levi borderline snarled at the statement. He did care for you. Deeply. But Erwin didn’t need to know that.

“But please listen. As I mentioned before, ties between the Military Police and the Survey Corps are taut. Any discord between us would cause them to snap. I already tightened them further by not allowing them to execute her publicly. I thought if she joined the Scouts instead, not only would we gain an asset, but she would also be able to survive. That didn’t sit well with Niles. He wants her to pay for what she’s done. If not by death, then by various other methods. This was the only way to keep both parties happy, Levi. Trust me,” Levi was starting to lose what trust he had in the man.

Whilst yes, his explanation made sense, it still didn’t sweeten the blow. How long would this go on for? Would they take you everyday, or just some days? How badly would they hurt you?

As if able to read his mind through his knife-like glare, Erwin continued.

“It’s only for this week. Whilst she’s in her cell. They don’t have permission to permanently damage her, only—”

“Only break her ribs and crack her sternum. Yeah, I saw,” he responded bitterly, folding his arms as he leant against the door. Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck them.

Levi had never been so conflicted. Whilst the sight of you, beaten and broken, had shattered him, he also knew it was for your own good. It was this, or death.

He didn’t like the second option much.

But the memory of what they had done had burned into his skull. Running his fingers down your prominent, bruised spine. So fragile, but so goddamn strong. Muscles spread disproportionately about your abdomen and shoulders. Your stomach was concave for fuck sakes. And they were still beating the shit out of you.

It made him wonder. If he wasn’t so lucky…

Would he have received the same treatment?

Would he have been thrown in a cell and tortured for a week?

He doubted it.

Erwin waited for Levi to gather his thoughts. Waited for him to say whatever he was going to say next. He had expected Levi to find out. Had expected the man to have some sort of reaction, but nothing quite to this extent. Maybe there really was something deeper between you and him that Levi was keeping to himself.

“So this will continue for a whole damn week?” Levi asked, almost exasperated, running a hand through his obsidian locks. This was a nightmare. All of it. Nobody deserves this treatment. Not even Kenny, but especially not you.

It was Erwin’s slow nod that had his stomach dropping.

“Yes,” he replied quietly. “This will continue for the whole week.”

That was all Levi needed to hear. Whether it was right or wrong, he was powerless to stop it. Turning on his heel and heading back down the halls to his office, he tried to push the images of your broken body and spirit from his mind. Maybe he was hoping you were the same bright eyed, mischievous woman you were before he lost you ten years ago. How had so much changed since then?

How much had you changed so much since then?

He no longer saw that spark of life in your eyes. No longer able to bask in your genuine smile.

If he hadn’t seen so many young, hopeful souls shattered by the paralysing fear of facing a titan, or the desperate heartache of losing a loved one, he’d be surprised.

But he wasn’t. Not at all. Who knows what you have had to do to survive? Who knows just how much of yourself you’d had to sacrifice to get where you are now. But he wouldn’t accept that you were gone.

He would never accept that.

But from the looks of you, only a small fragment of your true self remained. Levi thought he was over being hurt by the changes in people he somewhat cared about.

Maybe he was wrong.

꧁ꨄ꧂

The week was gruelling. Taken from your cell at night and being subjected to both physical and mental torture was one of the toughest things you’ve faced. It was brutal, having to fortify both your mind and body nightly against the blows from the MPs. Sometimes it would change. Sometimes the original four switched out. Sometimes they had an observer. But every time was horrific.

You were sure you’d be dead by now if Levi didn’t visit daily to soothe your broken and cracked bones. If he didn’t ask his monotonous questions, all of which you either responded to with something sarcastic, or silence.

Very few times you actually gave a real answer.

Unlike this time.

“How did you get that scar?” It was always the question he started with. Always wanting to know what happened to you during the time he was away, and that scar down your right eye.

“Don’t you ever get tired of asking that question?” you huffed, tucking your elbows beneath your head.

“Don’t you ever get tired of not answering it?” since you’d seen him everyday since you arrived, you were beginning to relearn all the tells you knew he had, but had changed over time. For example, this smallest lilt in his voice when he found something amusing. He waited for your body to stop twitching as you laughed silently, before resuming the treatment of the damp cloth.

“Not really, it’s fun listening to you get more and more frustrated.”

“As charming as ever, Raven.”

You didn’t know how you felt about him using your alias rather than your name. You knew you’d asked him to, or rather, harshly told him to, but he’d used your actual name a few times since then. But you didn’t want to ask, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable.

You let the quiet blanket the two of you, debating whether or not to answer. You’d refused him everyday, but as more time passed, the more you remembered just how much you’d loved him.

“There was a rival gang in the neighbourhood next to ours. Always fighting us for territory or supplies. Honestly, I wanted them wiped out, but Prongs insisted that would make us far too many powerful enemies,” Levi had paused as you started the exposition, genuinely surprised you’d actually decided to give him a full answer, rather that the usual “I entered a sword headbutting contest” or something equally as ridiculous.

“We were at each other’s throats for years, never really landing a solid hit on the other’s gang, until the bastard managed to take one of my Shadows, Diablo, alive. I owed those people everything. They took me in when you—” you managed to stop yourself, but not fast enough for Levi to avoid feeling the gut punching guilt he felt whenever you accidentally mentioned him leaving. You really didn’t mean to, you were just used to talking more openly about it.

“Uh, sorry. Yeah, they took me in, so I owed them a lot. Plus, I’d known them for years by now. I trusted them and they trusted me. I wasn’t about to abandon her,” Levi could hear your conviction and resolve in the cadence of your voice, and silently wondered when you’d become so strong. He’d almost forgotten he was supposed to be treating you badly damaged back, until you hissed slightly. Looking down, he realised he’d pressed a little too hard with the cloth against your tender skin.

“Shit, sorry.”

“‘S’fine. Just concentrate, yeah?” despite your condition, you still had it in you to crack cocky jokes. Levi had half the mind to swat the back of your head with his cloth, but he decided to be merciful.

You left it a beat before you continued.

“Anyway, I didn’t have a choice. But it turns out, all the creepy bastard wanted to do was to make sure everyone knew I wasn’t untouchable. Then maybe we’d stop having smaller gangs ally with us. I let him scar my face, and in return he gave us Diablo back, completely unharmed. It was really fucking weird now that I think about it,” Levi pondered this for a moment, before another question popped into his head.

“What happened to him?”

“Who?”

“The creepy guy, idiot.”

“Call me an idiot again, I fucking dare you.”

“What will you do? You can hardly stand.”

“I don’t need to stand to beat your sorry ass.”

Shit, he’d missed this. This playful banter between the two of you. He’d missed it so goddamn much.

“He found one of my blades stuck in his throat pretty soon after,” Levi grunted in approval, a small smile bloomed across his face at the thought.

Good.

Creepy son-of-a-bitch.

The two of you continued in a comfortable silence for a short while, before your slightly mischievous voice cut through it again.

“Okay, my turn,” you sounded far too nonchalant for his liking, Levi narrowing his gaze to the back of your head.

“Your turn?”

“You’ve been asking me questions for the last few days, and I haven’t asked you one once,” if Levi didn’t know better, he’d say you were almost pouting. He was tempted to turn your head to check, but it seemed you still weren’t entirely comfortable with the whole being touched thing.

He hadn’t asked you about that yet.

“Alright, alright. One question.”

“How come you get countless and I only get one?”

“Call it a Captain’s privilege,”

“Pffft, Captain my ass,”

“Just ask your stupid question.”

You laughed at his feigned frustrated tone, knowing he was loving this as much as you were. You allowed yourself to think about how you wanted to phrase this.

“Are they still here with you? Farlan and Isobel?” you had been slightly hesitant to ask this, since he hadn’t mentioned them once. You didn’t know them personally, only seeing them fleetingly when Levi would usher you into his room, or having sparing conversation with them when Viper sold them that ODM. And judging by his pained silence, you now feared his answer.

“Yes and no,” your question had definitely caught him off guard. He didn’t even think you remembered them, so for you to ask after them was a little out of the blue. Hence why he opted to mimic your response from a few days ago.

You had clearly caught on.

“The hell does that mean?”

Levi realised he probably couldn’t tend to your back and tell this story at the same time. He was going to need all his strength to suppress the torrent of emotions he knew he was about to unlock. Sensing his change of tone, you slowly shifted so you were sitting next to him, making sure you didn’t move too quickly or awkwardly so as to not irritate your painful back.

You searched his features in the silence, partially hidden by the bangs you used to love running your hands through. You couldn’t help but wonder whether or not they were as soft as they used to be.

“It was my fault,” he admitted quietly. You hated seeing Levi like this. You’d only seen him like this once before, when Kenny abandoned him. You vowed you would never let him feel like this again as long as you were by his side.

This is what happens when you’re separated.

“What was your fault?” you gently prompted, not wanting to push him, but rather wanting to let him know that you were willing to listen.

“It was our first expedition. I was naive, agreeing to let them come with us, rather than the original plan which was for me to go alone. Raven, the reason I— the reason we left, was because we were recruited for a job, and killing Erwin Smith was part of that. But none of us knew what to expect beyond the walls. We’d trained but, we didn’t know what to expect when facing an actual titan,” you didn’t press further when he took pauses or longer breaths. You were happy he was comfortable enough with you now to even tell you this. “Everything was going smoothly. Too smoothly, and it wasn’t long before it all went to shit. I lost sight of them when the storm hit, losing them in the fog. I was completely powerless to stop an Abnormal. Shit, I didn’t even know it had passed me. I just saw bodies and limbs everywhere and knew I had to turn back. By the time I got there, it was too late. They were both gone,” Levi’s fist clenched into a ball, taking his focus away from the pain in his chest to the one in his palm. He didn’t even realise his eyes were closed until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under your touch, not quite able to believe how far the two of you had come in such a short amount of time.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Levi,” he didn’t really understand what you were apologising for, or why you felt the need. Afterall, it was him who left you.

“I vowed after that day I wouldn’t have any regrets. Some jackass said that if I did, their deaths wouldn’t mean anything. But I knew I would always have one. I knew I would always regret leaving you behind,” Levi looked to you through his bangs, an expression of guilt etched into his hardened face. You forgave him at that moment. You forgave him for everything.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? And whilst I may not be the same girl you left behind, I still have her memories,” your hand slid from its position on his shoulder to rest over his heart, feeling it flutter within his sturdy ribcage.

Levi faintly wondered if he was dreaming. If you could feel his heart rate increase with every touch.

“That’s why you said yes and no, isn’t it? Because they’re not physically here, but they are here,” Levi could do nothing but nod, his eyes trained on your face like a hawk. He wanted permission. Begged for it through his dark, swirling eyes. Screamed for it in the way his eyes flickered to your lips, your face so close he could smell that scent of freshly baked bread you’d always carried with you, even beneath all the filth. A few centimetres further and you would have what you’d wanted for ten long years. What you both have wanted.

“You sound ridiculous,”

“Your fault,” he could feel the flutter of your breath against his face, wishing nothing more than for you to close the distance.

Levi slowly brought his hand from his lap, his palm rising to cup your cheek.

It didn’t even get close before you flinched, eyes darting to his raised hand.

And just like that, all the tension dissolved. As if you hadn’t been busy getting lost within the storm that were his irises. Levi pulled back, as if he himself had been struck.

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking,” he rose from his position next to you, wanting nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole.

How could he be so damn selfish? It was obvious you couldn’t do anything like that right now. Maybe not ever. And he was getting way ahead of himself. You had already said the girl who loved him was dead, he couldn’t even think how or why he would assume just because your body was present, your mind was as well. Just because he was willing, why would you be willing as well?

Except you were.

So. Fucking. Willing.

And you cursed yourself for these instinctive reactions. Every sudden movement had your mind flashing back to training. Back to Viper’s brutal learning methods. It wasn’t even that much longer after Levi left you were made the Raven. After Viper’s death, it was almost instantaneous. But that didn’t stop those seven months of brutal punishments to leave a permanent scar on your psyche. You wished you could find your voice to reassure him that you’d get over this.

But you couldn’t.

And Levi was once again the first to speak.

“I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow Raven—”

“(Y/N),” you corrected him. After countless times of him calling you by your alias, you didn’t think you could stand it anymore. Levi raised his brow, seemingly a little confused by your interruption. “I’m not The Raven anymore. Technically that title belongs to Prongs now. So it’s just (Y/N),” despite the awkwardness of your recent encounter, you still felt that familiar warmth blossom in your chest at his softened smile, and quietly wonder if anyone else ever saw him smile this much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, (Y/N),” you returned his expression, before lying back down on your side. This was your last night in your cell, before you’d be free to join the Scouts. You silently scoffed at the irony of that statement, but nothing could quell your small candle of hope as you listened to Levi’s footsteps get quieter and quieter. Maybe things weren’t so shit up here after all.

꧁ꨄ꧂

“You know, Raven, I’m going to miss our little nighttime meetings,” another harsh blow to your stomach sent you reeling, eyes screwed shut in both pain and defiance. They were trying everything they could to break you tonight. Blood running freely down your abdomen. Fresh bruises now blossoming over the wilted petals of previous nights.

Still you refused to break. Solid walls of spite had erected around your mind, and they wouldn’t be cracked or broken. Not by anything. So you took it. You took your punishment, only opening your mouth to hurl obscene insults or vile curses in their direction. Mocking the way they struck, laughing at their lack of strength. It only resulted in harsher blows, but it was worth seeing the frustration on their faces when you didn’t scream in agony.

“You know who you remind me of like this? I only made the connection a few nights ago. Strung up and beaten like your good-for-nothing father,”

That struck a chord in you. Your eyes flew open, staring at the ground in horror. This is what had happened to him? They had taken him and beaten him? Was he still alive? Was he here somewhere?

The man, who you’d dubbed Dirt, answered all your questions with his next jab.

“A shame he only lasted a few days. You on the other hand… you’re much more fun to play with,” a feral grin sliced through his face as he circled you, drawing back to land three excrutiating blows against your lower back. You grit your teeth, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. You didn’t think you had a heart to shatter. You didn’t think any of it remained for it to be broken again.

The MPs had taken two father figures from you.

That grin still adorned Dirt’s face as he went to swing the metal bat again, only to be interrupted by the door behind you opening. Dirt’s eyes narrowed, before whoever it was seemed to please him. God you couldn’t wait for the day where you tore that venomous smile right off his fucking face.

“Captain Ackerman. To what do we owe the pleasure?” you froze. What the hell was he doing here? Why did he always have to arrive during the moments where you really didn’t want him to see you.

But you weren’t expecting to feel a kernel of hope as he spoke.

You weren’t expecting the small smile that etched into your sweat slickened face.

“I was sent to observe. Since she’ll be joining the Survey Corps, I’m here to ensure you don’t break her,” Levi sounded as bored as ever, and you almost huffed a laugh.

Dirt scoffed, in irritation that he wouldn’t get to sever your spine with brute force.

“Very well. However, I must ask you to stand back. She swings like a stallion’s cock sometimes,” If it weren’t directed at you, you would have laughed at the comment. In any other situation, it would have been rather funny.

Just not this one.

Levi had never felt so sick. As soon as he walked in, seeing you strung up like that, helplessly, he had to force down the instinct to rip every one of these torturous bastards to ribbons. He’d never had to have such a tight hold on his emotions in his life, because if that hold slipped…

This would become a blood bath.

“Anyway Raven, where were we?” he asked, though the question was rhetorical. You knew he remembered. He was just trying to provoke a response out of you. But knowing Levi was here gave you a strength you weren’t expecting.

Looking up through your hair, you shot a glare through the thick, matted strands.

“Choke on your own blood, fuckface,” you spat, kicking weakly towards him. It wasn’t the show of defiance you’d wanted, but it seemed to get the message across. You were prepared for whatever consequences there would be for such a demonstration.

The repercussions came immediately. Roughly digging his fingers into your chin, Dirt forced you head up to look at him, his face a picture of mock amusement.

Levi’s jaw clenched.

“Come now Raven. Not trying to impress Captain Levi now, are you?” your eyes flickered over to Levi, his expression unreadable, grey hues trained on the two of you. A rumble of laughter echoed around the chamber as Dirt took in your spiteful expression. “Now I’m left wondering, how somebody like you could come from somebody like your pathetic father. How somebody so defiant, so fucking strong,” —he harshly jabbed at your stomach with the hilt of his bat— “Could be the daughter of somebody so weak,”

“Shut the fuck up,” you rasp, hot fury surging through your veins. How fucking dare he? How dare he insult your father this way. He was a good man. An honest man. He did nothing wrong. Nothing to warrant his or your mother’s death.

“Hm. No, I think I’ll keep talking. This might finally break you.”

“I’ll fucking KILL YOU,” the hook keeping your arms above your head creaked as you thrashed, trying to free yourself to wrap your hands around his goddamn throat.

“You should have heard his cries. His pathetic whimpers as we carved into his flesh. They were… amusing.” No. This wouldn’t be your downfall. You refused. This wasn’t it. You would not be broken by this.

“At least tell me what he died for. At least tell me why you took him, you shit-eating pig!” you spat viciously, trying once again to get free. It was infuriating more than anything. You had so many questions, never knowing why your parents had been killed. Why you came back to your house in disarray, crimson staining the floorboards as your mother’s blood drained from the gash in her throat. Your father, nowhere to be found.

Though he managed to keep his expression neutral, Levi thought back to your father. For the short time he knew him, he was a kind man. He did what he could for the people around him, always feeding those who looked starving. He was convinced that was where you got your compassion from. Why the hell would they take him and torture him?

“Why? He didn’t tell you? Interesting. Your father knew the location of The Nest long before you became our problem. You thought it was a coincidence Viper just happened to take you in? Please, this job was enjoyable enough, don’t make me laugh with your naivety as well,”

“You’re lying. My father was a baker. He was a good man. He wasn’t involved in our criminal shit!”

“Have you noticed a pattern in your life, Raven? Have you noticed how we tried everything to prevent you from falling down this path?” your jaw flickered at Dirt’s tone, mocking you as if they had done you a service.

“We thought your father would introduce you to a life of crime, so we got rid of him for you. When you fell into the care of Viper; well, we got rid of him for you as well,” his smile was snake-like as flashes from that night plagued your mind. Pressed up against the wall as your mentor was savagely dealt with. Begging at them. Screaming at them to stop. To let him go. Only for them to raise a rifle to his head, and paint the wall with his blood.

Dirt imitated a gun with his fingers, putting them up to your forehead.

“Bang.”

Slowly, you stopped thrashing, though the hatred in your veins didn’t cool. You simmered silently, raising your eyes once again. No tears. No sorrow. Nothing but feigned indifference flickered in the low light.

Dirt looked at you for a moment, eyebrows creasing in irritation as he stepped back, twirling the bad in his hands before repeatedly cracking it against your empty stomach. Levi only just managed to control his breathing as he watched helplessly, flinching subtly as every blow connected with your too-skinny body. Clearly Dirt was taking out some intense frustration. He’d just managed to compose himself when the bastard’s eyes turned to him. That fucking smile poisoned his features as he extended the handle of the weapon.

“Captain Levi. She killed a few of your men, did she not? Why don’t you see if you can break the whore?” You almost scoffed in amusement. Levi wouldn’t do that. Not to you. Not after everything the two of you had been through.

You’d finally found each other again.

You were so sure.

You were so sure of yourself.

You were so sure of him.

You’d rekindled that trust over the last week.

You’d rekindled something you thought was dead.

You were so sure.

Until he took the handle.

And the white hot knife of betrayal twisted into your gut once again.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

Shit.

The weight of the bat felt ten times heavier than anything he’s ever held in his life. The weight of what he was about to do.

Fuck.

As excruciating as this was to watch, he knew it was ten times worse for you. He knew every blow, every crack, was undoing hours of hard work soothing your aches and bruises. Each thud against your body sent jolts of electricity through him. Nerve ends alight with adrenaline, heart beating as if he was about to fight every single one of these bastards just to get them away from you.

Still you have not broken. He couldn’t pinpoint the slight warmth in his chest, couldn’t comprehend what it was. Was he impressed? Surprised?

Proud…?

Levi wasn’t sure if the look of soul shattering betrayal in your eyes was worth it as his hands gripped the cool metal, slightly slickened with your blood.

He would explain it to you.

He would.

Once you were back in your cell, he would tell you why he did it.

But for now, his glare only darkened as he stepped forward. He couldn’t stand the expression on your face. Confused bewilderment, as if trying to work out what he was thinking.

Levi begged you to stop. Stop looking at him like that. Stop trying to work him out because not even he knew if this was the right thing to do.

It was almost a relief when your wide eyes clouded with heartbreaking realisation and acceptance.

A hiss escaped your lips at the first crack. Somehow, this felt more painful than anything those pitiful soldiers could do. Your eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched so hard you were afraid it would shatter into a million pieces.

Each blow felt so precise. So measured and controlled. It stung your heart more than anything else. You’d been betrayed. Again. For the second time in a week. Betrayed by the two people you’d ever loved. Scarlett, who’d picked you up when you were sure nobody else could. Who nursed your broken bones and your broken soul.

And by the first man who ever held your heart.

And truthfully, still did.

Was that all this last week had been?

A ploy just to fuck with you. To earn your trust only to immediately shatter you once again? To break your spirit? Granted, nobody knew the nature of your relationship between you and Levi, but that didn’t matter. The man you loved had just stabbed you in the back.

Again.

So much had happened in the last week. So much had been brought to the surface. It would take years to unpack it all, not that you had any intention of doing that. You just wanted it all gone. To bury it with your fathers. To never think about it again.

You were dragged from your thoughts by a shock of agony sparking up your spine, stemming from your lower back. It was Dirt’s favourite place to attack. Whenever he thought you were being too feisty, too aggressive. He would land as many blows to your lower back as he saw fit.

Admittedly, you doubted Levi knew you’d been snapping back spitefully all session before he arrived, but that didn’t quell the raging fire of hatred as your lips parted without your permission.

A broken cry of anguished agony wracked from your chest, chilling the air of the humid chamber.

Levi froze, horror flashing across his usually schooled features.

He’d broken you.

Levi had broken you.

And with it, any bond he’d managed to salvage over the last week. Any bridge he’d started to rebuild now came crashing down around him.

That one well placed crack had ripped away at your resolve, exposing the tired, hurt, beaten girl beneath.

The room seemed to have stilled. All falling into quiet awe at what had just happened. A slow clap split the stagnant air as Dirt walked up from where he was leaning against the wall. Levi was tempted to turn the bat on him, but he found himself unable to move.

“Your reputation precedes you, Captain. Striking her lower back like that after leaving it to simmer? Genius! We should have asked you to join us earlier,” Dirt cackled in delight as he produced a knife from his pocket. Reaching up, he easily sliced through the ropes binding your hands.

Stone rose up to greet your body as you fell uselessly to the ground, legs too weak to hold you.

“Oh dear. Are you dead? Maybe you and your father had more in common that I originally thought,”

“Enough.” Dirt’s jeering was interrupted by the no-bullshit tones of Levi, causing the soldier to whirl around. He’d finally managed to find his voice, once again reining himself in.

“But Captain Levi, Sir, she’s The Raven. Don’t you think she deserves some extra time with us tonight?”

“If you don’t leave now I’ll make sure it’s you who won’t be able to walk. Go,” you couldn’t tell if this was a blessing or a curse. If he was an angel or a demon.

Actually no, scratch that.

He was a demon, and this was a curse.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to move as you heard busy footsteps around you, assuming the four horsemen were gathering their effects.

“I do hope you make her crawl back to her cell, Captain. We all know your reputation for cleanliness. It would be a shame to dirty your hands touching this filthy whore,” Dirt drawled one more savage insult, before you heard his echoing steps get further and further away. You hoped the day would never come where you had to see his face again.

The silence in the room now was suffocating. You could both feel the emotions radiating off each other now the MPs were gone. He could feel your loathing, and you could feel his disgust. Or what you thought was disgust. What you assumed was disgust.

How could he not be disgusted? He must be. To do what he just did. You didn’t understand why he would come down everyday and help you if he felt such hatred towards you.

No, that’s a lie.

You did understand.

But that truth hurt so much more than anything else tonight.

It had sowed the seed of doubt in your mind. You knew you weren’t a good person. In fact, to most soldiers and nobles you were a devil. But you’d always clung onto the hope that everything you did was to help people. You stole medicine, you slit the throats of rapists, you provided weapons to those who didn’t have enough to fend for themselves.

There was a small part of you that truly believed you were doing good.

That small part had just been crushed, along with several bones.

Gathering what little strength you had, you extended a limp arm in front of you. Fuck it, you weren’t going to sleep here on a floor soiled by your own sweat, blood and saliva.

You would crawl if you had to.

“(Y/N)...” all he wanted to do was hold you. All he’d wanted to do since he’d found you again was hold you. He’d been so close yesterday, but he’d fucked that up.

Now he was sure you’d never willingly let him hold you again. The bat fell from his hand as if he’d realised it was covered in poison, heart clenching at the way you instinctively threw your arms above your head, terrified of some other attack.

You hated how his voice carried so much comfort. Hated how it soothed your raging mind. God you wanted nothing more than to rip his fucking tongue out and make sure he never spoke to you like that again.

A gentle hand landed on your shoulder, forcing you to stop.

“Get… get the fuck… off me… Get the fuck off me,” you couldn’t fight back as he tucked his arms under your legs and upper back, wincing as he lifted you into his grip. “Don’t… Don’t fucking touch me,” there was no strength left in you to push against him as he carried you back, but that didn’t stop you from weakly hitting the arms that held you.

You didn’t understand. One moment he was savagely beating you, and the next he was cradling you against his chest, holding you close as he took you to your cell.

Laying you down, he hoped you understood why he did what he did. It was a fool’s hope, he knew.

He realised you definitely didn’t understand when you started fighting back.

With a sudden surge of strength, you lunged for him. It was a weak attack, and you didn’t really know what you were trying to achieve as you threw yourself towards him with a cry of anguished rage, but you also didn’t care.

��I fucking trusted you,” you spat in between your flailing limbs. It really didn’t take long for Levi to pin your arms either side of your head, hovering over your body.

“(Y/N), stop,” He tightened his grip on your wrists as you struggled against his hold. It would have been a real test of strength for both of you had you not spent the last week having the life beaten out of you. You were weaker than you’d ever been, and he was taking advantage.

“I was right the first time. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t ever get to call me that. You sick, twisted BASTARD. So that was why you lied to me. That was why you didn’t tell me why you were helping me. You fucking coward, is that all you were doing? Convincing me I was safe with you? Tricking me into thinking you still actually cared about me you filthy fucking LIAR,” you barked a mirthless laugh, baring your teeth in a visceral snarl. “I swear to you Levi, I will not fucking stop until my knife is buried your goddamn THROAT!” you struggled again, twisting as much as you could beneath him, trying to free your arms, your hands, anything that could help you take him down.

He deserved this. He knew he did. Levi looked into the burning betrayal in your eyes and knew he deserved this. He would take every verbal blow you threw at him because he knew he deserved it. But he had to explain. He didn’t care. You could hurl whatever you wanted at him, but he wouldn’t leave until he had the chance to explain himself.

Then he would never see you again.

If that’s what you wanted.

“Just calm down, for a minute, please,” you hadn’t heard him beg like that in a very, very long time. Shit, you fucking hated what it did to you. In this position, your wrists held above your head, his arms caging you in, his legs either side of your hips...

The room suddenly felt far too warm.

“What could you possibly have to say to me? I fucking trusted you. You disgusting son-of-a-bitch. I can’t believe I actually thought—“

Levi finally lost his temper.

“What? You thought what? That just because we found each other again we’d play happy families? Grow the fuck up, Raven,” he spat your alias, finally releasing all the fury he’d pent up. He knew this was a mistake. None of this was your fault. He’d been angry with how you’d been treated. Utterly beside himself at Erwin.

And you were taking the fall for it.

“I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t have a fucking choice. If anyone saw me treat you any differently, they would start to question it. They would question why I was showing pity to a criminal. The Raven, no less. And I can’t—”

“Oh I’m sorry, I would hate to ruin your reputation, Captain,” you struck back with just as much venom. Just as much fury.

“Let me finish. I can’t let them get to you anymore than they already have. It was either them or—”

“Because I’m just so import—” you almost cried out as the grip on your wrists tightened, knowing they would leave yet another bruise on your body.

“Let. Me. Finish.” Levi narrowed his eyes, returning the glare you were holding on him and not continuing until you yielded, finally looking away and clamping your mouth shut. “It was either them or me. I could let them continue to beat the shit out of you mercilessly, or I could do it myself. I could try and make it better. I couldn’t fucking watch that shit anymore. I couldn’t fucking stand it. Those filthy bastards laying their dirty hands on you. Hurting you. Shit, you were half dead when I walked in. I was scared you were for a moment. Terrified they were just beating a corpse. But you’re so much stronger than I ever gave you credit for. They never fucking broke you. And they never will. Because if they touch you again, if they fucking look at you, I will go the the ends of the goddamn earth and tear them apart, because I care about you,” Levi hadn’t noticed he was panting. He hadn’t noticed the tears slipping down your cheeks. He didn’t think his self hatred could sink any deeper, but now he’d made you cry silent tears.

Loosening his grip on your wrists, he looked at you as though he’d been responsible for your murder.

“So, it was mercy? That’s what’s considered merciful up here?” you couldn’t really believe it. Twice in two days Levi had spoken more to you than you thought he ever did back when you belonged to each other. You didn’t think you’d ever sounded so small. So vulnerable. “Let me ask you this, Levi. Was it merciful on me, or merciful on you? Because you sure as hell didn’t make things better for me,” despite the quieter volume, your voice was still harsh.

But you had to know.

You wanted nothing more than to pull him in and thread your hands through his hair. To feel his body against yours. For his heartbeat to lull you to sleep. But you had to know whether he did this for you, or himself.

You understood now. You really did. And put in the same situation, you didn’t think you’d do any differently.

“Honestly…? Merciful to me. I couldn't bear it. I tried. I tried so fucking hard. But I couldn’t let them hurt you anymore,” his voice was no louder than a choked, guilt ridden whisper.

That’s all you needed to hear. Slipping your wrists free of his hands, you reached up. Cupping the sides of his face, you brought him down to you, since you couldn’t exactly sit up and go to him.

As soon as your lips returned home to his, you couldn’t stop the few tears from escaping your closed eyes.

Levi’s own eyes widened, and he was suddenly convinced he was dead. Was this actually happening? After everything he’s just done, everything he’s just said.

You forgave him?

When your tongue gently skirted his bottom lip, he decided contemplating forgiveness was something for later. Terrified of hurting you further, he rested his weight on his elbows, finally closing his eyes. He’d wanted this for so long. Since he laid eyes on you for the first time in ten years, he’d wanted nothing more than to envelop your mouth with his own.

With your eyes closed, you didn’t mind when his hand came up to gently caress the apple of your cheek. You didn’t mind when you opened your lips for his tongue to hesitantly slip in and explore your mouth, that slick muscle moving against yours. You didn’t mind when his hand travelled down to cup the side of your neck, tilting your head up to deepen the kiss.

Neither of you wanted to break away, having waited far too long for this moment. You reveled in the groan he emitted down your throat as your left hand found its way to his undercut, gently scratching and caressing in desperation. You hadn’t heard that sound in so long and you instantly craved more.

Levi’s eyes rolled back into his skull behind his closed lids, feeling your hands in his hair. God, he didn’t want to fuck you in a cell, but your hands and tongue were making it difficult for him to control himself.

He was the first to pull back, instantly missing the warmth of your mouth.

“I don’t understand,” he breathed, looking down into your eyes. You could see the swirling confusion in those sterling orbs as they flickered in the low light. You could see the arousal in his dark pupils. Feel it against your inner thigh. You wanted to take him right here and now, but not only did you acknowledge the fact you were literally in a prison cell…

You weren’t sure you were ready. Not yet. Not after everything.

“Levi… if you had done that for my sake, I would have shattered both your kneecaps,” you earned yourself a gentle laugh, his thumb coming up to smooth down your eyebrow. “But you didn’t. I know you feel selfish, and I know you hate yourself for it, but I also know that it was either that, or you beat them to death with that goddamn bat. I know you, Levi. You haven’t changed much yourself,” your left hand came back, softly carding through those ebony bangs.

Levi felt like he could fly. Felt as though you’d returned the wings he’d lost when he thought he’d never see you again.

(Y/N), I want to apolo—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

With that, you stretched up to capture his mouth again, instantly feeling like you’d come back home. You didn’t care about the surge of pain coursing through your abdomen and back. That’s what he was to you.

He was home.

You felt his length twitch in his constraints as both your hands found purchase in his hair, gently tugging at the black strands.

“Fuck…” he breathed into your mouth, his hips bucking involuntarily as you sucked his lower lip between your teeth.

You kept having to consciously remind yourself that you are in fact in a dank, filthy cell. And enveloping him between you increasingly slick folds was wildly inappropriate.

Levi thought it was entirely unfair how you were managing to drag whines and moans from him with nothing but your fingers and teeth. So he decided it was his turn to give something back.

His hand travelled down your body, almost instinctively finding the crease in your thighs. He swallowed his own groan of ecstasy as his knuckles grazed his arousal, opting instead to focus on the way your hips rose to meet the pads of his fingers, gently rubbing your swollen, clothed clit. His circular motions drawing out those small whimpers he’d craved to hear.

“Mmn, L-Levi... ACK, fuck!” your moan of pleasure turned into a small cry of pain as your abs contracted, sending yet another lightning bolt through your system. Levi withdrew his hand immediately, eyes instantly clearing and recognising your signs of discomfort.

“Shit (Y/N), your back,” you felt your heart swell at his concern, though internally cursed yourself.

“‘S’fine,” you insisted, rising up once again to grasp his lips with yours, only to be met with thin air and you ex(?) lover looking down at you.

“No, it’s not. C’mere,” Levi sighed and lifted himself off you, careful not to cause you any further damage. He looked for permission before gently turning you on your side, as if your tongue hadn’t been down his throat less than thirty seconds ago. He cursed his erection, finding himself a little hindered by it as he walked over to the faucet, allowing himself a few moments reprieve before removing the handkerchief from his pocket and running it under the tap.

Though the mirror was cracked, he could still see his slightly swollen lips, distorted against the spider webbing fractures. Could still see the mark you’d left on his face. Shit, he wished for those marks to be left elsewhere. His mind wandered back to the way you used to settle between his thighs, teasing him until you got him to crack. He loved the way you could coerce broken pleas from his throat. Adored the black-blue bites you left on the inside of his thighs, before your warmth enveloped him. Your flexible muscle flicking up and down his sensitive length, running over that prominent vein he hadn’t felt you caress in too long. He missed feeling the vibrations of your chuckle when he begged for you to let him cum. When he felt his balls tighten with release, and yet you denied him still.

But most of all he missed tasting you. He missed the way your arousal freely leaked onto his tongue. He missed the way your hips rose to meet his fingers, that breathy gasp when he found your hidden spot. The begs and cries you made when you wanted him to let you cum. When you whined for his dick to replace his fingers. Fuck, he missed the way your thighs locked his head between them as he brought you to climax with nothing but his tongue flicking over you little, sensitive button. Over, and over, and over again.

“Having trouble?” you grinned from your position on the sorry excuse for a mattress. You’d managed to turn yourself over to watch him, disregarding any agony you felt. You wouldn’t miss this for the world. You wouldn’t miss seeing Levi all riled up and unable to focus simply because of the administrations with your mouth.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, turning the faucet off and ringing out the cloth in the sink. You chuckled at his tone and his predicament, loving every second of it. Though you couldn’t miss the small glint of amusement in his dark eyes. “Oi, turn back ‘round. ‘Need to get to your back,”

“I bet you do,”

“(Y/N)...” he warned, with no real malice in his tone. If this was any other man, you would have lunged at them for taking that tone with you. But this was Levi. Your Levi. You knew he would never hurt you. Not unless absolutely necessary.

Case and point: hitting you with a bat to avoid a murder charge.

Begrudgingly, you tore your eyes from his face, haphazardly twisting on the mattress to face away from him.

“Hm, good girl,” Levi purred, eyes gleaming at the way your thighs clenched in reaction. But any spark of arousal was swiftly extinguished, when your body twitched away from his as he took his seat behind you.

You clenched your eyes shut, hating yourself for the reaction you couldn’t control. You didn’t blame Viper for your now primal fear. You knew he was just teaching you what you needed to know, but he had no fatherly experience, and possibly caused more harm than good.

“‘M’ sorry, it’s not you, I promise. I just—”

“No. No apologising. It’s not your fault,” you nodded, not trusting your voice not to crack if you spoke up now.

Levi thought hard about how he wanted to do this without causing any more reaction from you. Attempting to keep his mind from wandering too far, he tried to understand what made you comfortable enough to bring him onto your mouth. To gently tug on his lower lip. To thread your hands through his hair and--

“I have an idea… (Y/N), watch what I’m doing,” you did as he asked, turning your neck as much as you could to watch the movements of his hand. You tensed as his palm hovered over your side. But when you didn’t feel anything, you unscrewed one tightly shut eye, peering at him curiously.

“(Y/N), can you raise your body for me, just to reach my hand?” this might actually work. Levi had been wracking his brains for a way for you to feel comfortable again with touch.

Hesitantly, you slowly raised your body to meet his fingers, almost freezing as you felt no reaction. You didn’t tense, you didn’t instantly balk under his touch.

You hadn’t cried in years, and yet throughout the course of this long, long night, you had cried twice, the corners of your lashes growing damp as a tear slipped down the side of your face.

Growing increasingly concerned by your lack of response, Levi was about to move his hand from your side, but was immediately stopped by your own fingers covering his.

“Don’t. Stay. Don’t move away,” his heart burned at your broken plea, his worried expression softening in slight relief.

“I won’t. (Y/N), I’m not going to touch you without your permission. Ever. But, if you’re comfortable with it, we can do this. If you’re happy with this,” Levi gently moved his thumb against the fabric of your shirt, caressing your side. Your choked laugh of happy disbelief caused his small smile to broaden ever so slightly.

“Yes. Yes i’m happy with this,” still having trouble believing this was truly happening, you closed your eyes in bliss, allowing a few more tears to escape.

“Okay, I’m going to move your shirt up, alright?” your heart sung at his sincerity, nodding silently once again as you felt the fabric of your shirt bunch up ever so carefully. You loved how he always made you feel so precious. Nothing was precious in the Underground, but somehow he always made you feel worth diamonds and gold. You’d forgotten what that was like, until the damp cloth once again soothed your aching welts, chasing away the throbs of pain.

Those spears of guilt once again plunged into Levi’s heart as he saw what they had done to you. What he’d done to you. You were always so forgiving when it came to him. You always have been. He could lock himself in his room for days, not speak to you for hours on end and you would always be there to hold him when the pressure finally cracked. Always there to soothe him when he opened up after long weeks of isolation. When those memories of his mother dragged up again. When the day Kenny left forced him to hide away until he couldn’t take it anymore.

You always forgave him.

And could always sense what he was thinking.

He came back to the present when your hand squeezed his, as if you knew where his mind had taken him.

“It’s okay, Levi,” your soft reassurance broke his heart.

“I should be saying that to you,”

“Go on then,” you retorted, not even trying to hide the mischief in your voice

Levi chuckled, moving his hand from under yours to stroke your hair.

“It’s okay, (Y/N),”

“I feel thoroughly reassured,”

“Tch, shut up brat,” god, at this point your heart could have been a choir. Singing once again at the soft amusement gently lacing his tone. But you internally cringed as fingers threaded through your grimy hair, reaching up to move it away.

“Levi, don’t. It’s fucking filthy,”

“So’s your face but I recall sucking on it a few moments ago,”

“Levi!” you couldn’t believe he’d just said that. He was never one to make such jokes. But you couldn’t deny you loved it. Loved his low, breathy laugh at your indignant call of his name.

“What? Am I wrong?” you couldn’t see his slightly cheeky smirk behind you. Or the way one brow raised in feigned curiosity.

“Well no, but—”

“Didn’t think so.”

“God you’re insufferable. Anyone would think you’re— OW!” you turned to look back at him in mock anger. He didn’t actually hurt you, and by looking at your swiftly disintegrating expresion, Levi was able to decipher you were just fucking with him. Rolling his eyes, he continued his administration with the cloth, watching fondly as you settled back down.

You only spoke again when that hand in your hair started moving.

“Levi, seriously, it’s gross. Just focus on my back,” when he didn’t reply, you once again twisted back to look at him, unable to decipher the expression on his face.

“Stay here,”

“Like I’m in any condition to move, asshole,”

“Tch, don’t be difficult. I’ll be back in a minute,” with a final caress of your head, Levi chucked the cloth back into the sink before standing to his feet. You were a bit of a sorry sight, lying on your side, shirt ridden up to reveal your bruised, still bloodied back. He’d managed to gently scrub off most of the crimson staining your skin, but he wanted to provide you with just a little more comfort, if he could.

You didn’t even try to escape when he left the door open. Too tired to move. Your limbs felt like lead everytime you attempted to shift, exhaustion clinging to your bones like shackles. You didn’t know how long you waited, but you felt yourself start to drift in and out of consciousness, unable to help yourself marvel at how easy it would be to slip into a deep sleep. Your mind was far too heavy to sift through the lake of emotions you’d found yourself submerged in. Just as you were about to succumb to the call of rest, your faultless alert system brought you back to consciousness, adrenaline injected into your veins as you shot upright at the sound of footsteps.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” your brittle nerves settled at the sound of his calming voice, heart leaping when you saw what he carried in his arms.

Levi had brought everything he thought he would need. A small metal basin containing a small flannel, a wash-cloth, a small cup, the shower soap and hair conditioner from his own quarters and a large towel to spare the mattress of the water. Kicking the cell door almost closed with his foot, Levi crossed to the sink once again, setting out the contents on the cracked porcelain before filling the basin.

He left the faucet running, turning back to you with the town folded on his arm.

“Gonna need you to move if we want to set this down,” you raised a suggestive eyebrow, mouth pulling into a small smirk. Levi rolled his eyes. “Not like that, brat. Unless you want to sleep on a damp mattress. It’s up to you, really,” the amused spark in his eye betrayed his neutral, blank face as you gently shimmied down the bed, making a space for him to set the towel down.

You watched as he removed his jacket, mouth watering ever so slightly as his shirt clung to his back, unable to tear your eyes away from the movement of his muscles. They had certainly developed well.

“Oi, stop ogling,” he smirked to you over his shoulder, earning a sly grin from you in response.

“Can’t help it,” you chimed, eyes flicking to his forearms as he rolled up his sleeves. Fuck, if only you weren’t in a jail cell. Or utterly filthy. Or just not ready for that yet.

If only you didn’t have a thousand things stopping you from pushing him against the wall and engulfing his cock in down your throat.

But for now, you just had to settle with undressing and fucking him with your eyes. Something that clearly didn’t go unnoticed, if the way he writhed slightly under your pinning gaze was anything to go by.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Levi tried to steer his thoughts away from his length stiffening once again. Fuck, the way you were staring at him, he was starting to feel hot beneath his shirt, despite the naturally cool temperature of the room. Your heated chuckle only fueled the flames.

“Aw, why? Are you hard?” you teased, raking your eyes up and down his figure, lingering on the small tent in his crotch. You shifted slightly, almost groaning as the mattress below you rubbed against your swollen folds.

“Tch, obviously. And I’m not going to deal with it in this filthy prison cell, so don’t make it worse brat,” Levi marvelled at your laugh. A proper, head thrown back laugh. He couldn’t stop the fond smile spreading across his face at the sight.

“Alright alright, I’ll stop eye-fuckinig you,” you managed to say, after regaining some sort of composure.

“You’re filthy,”

“Isn’t that why you’re about to bathe me?” you tilted your head slightly, watching him lift the basin from the sink after turning off the faucet. He didn’t deem your comment worthy of a response, opting instead to look back at you with a blank, deadpan expression. Tucking everything else under his arm, Levi returned back to your side. He thought for a moment about how he wanted to do this before, wedging the water basin between his legs.

“Lie back, place your head on my lap. Gonna’ wash your hair,” he instructed, busying himself with getting the small, brown bottle of hair soap. But he paused upon sensing your hesitation. Looking back to you, he searched your face, before slowly bringing his hand up.

You shied away, closing your eyes instinctively, almost bracing yourself for the contact that never came.

“Hey, not gonna touch you without permission, remember?” you opened your eyes to see his hand hovering next to your cheek. He was waiting for your next move, and you could see the slight hopeful spark in his eye.

So slowly, you tilted your head enough to gently nuzzle into his palm, your own hand coming up to keep him against your face.

Levi smoothed the skin under your eye with his thumb, trying his damndest not to let any tears well up in his eyes.

Unbeknownst to him, you were attempting to do the same. Not wanting him to see you cry for the third goddamn time tonight. But it became impossible when he said something you didn’t know you needed to hear.

“I missed you so much, firefly,” your breath hitched in your throat at the old nickname. He’d only ever use it in the softest moments in the Underground. Stroking your hair whilst lying in his bed. Staying up and keeping you company when you’d shoot awake from a nightmare. He was never one for nicknames, so one day when he, out of the blue, called you his firefly;

you’d almost cried.

Your eyes widened, hand gently squeezing his own to ground yourself. You let out something halfway between a laugh and a sob.

“I missed you too. So, so much,” you hardly had to move forward before your face was nestled in the crook of his neck, his arms slowly tucking you against his body. “I missed you so much,” you whispered again.

Levi didn’t think he’d ever been this happy, at least not for a long, long time. Ecstatic you felt comfortable enough to let him hold you. Though he was usually so good at keeping his feelings to himself, so much had happened over the last week, he felt the walls to his emotional dam cracking ever so slightly, a few tears lining his closed eyes. He could feel the collar of his shirt dampen as you shed silent tears, his thumb rubbing small circles against your back.

Levi held you like this for what felt like hours. Content to just be in each other’s arms once again. In reality, it had only been a few minutes before he gently shifted you so the back of your head rested against his lap.

“Never known you to be such a cry-baby,” he lightly teased, gathering what he could of your hair and soaking it within the basin still wedged between his knees.

“I’m not. I haven’t cried in years. Literally. Probably since Viper’s—” you stopped yourself, not expecting the casual statement to hurt quite as much as it did. “Viper’s death,” you finished quietly, eyes avoiding any direct contact with his own.

Levi took note of your tone change, reaching for the hair soap. He was only vaguely aware of the relationship between you and the old Nest leader. Finding out through those vile MPs.

“Want to talk about it?” The tone of his question matched yours as he lathered the gel into your now cleaner locks to make sure the grime and grease was properly dealt with.

“Honestly? Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it. Not even Prongs, or Wolf, and they were his Shadows before mine,” you fell silent for a moment, before looking back to him. “How did you do it? How did you just… leave everything behind?”

Levi sighed at the innocence of your question. The raw guilt he knew you were feeling. Knowing you were up here, safe, warm, comfortable, whilst so many people down there were still suffering. Still dying from easily preventable illnesses.

“I didn’t. Not really. I still find myself thinking back to those poor sods down there. But I couldn’t think about it for too long, because I would find myself thinking back to you,” his hand stroked the top of your now damp forehead, smoothing down the wet locks of your hair.

The basin sloshed slightly as you nodded, disheartened by the fact that this feeling of suffocating guilt would probably never leave you. Levi saw this in your face. He saw the exact same swirl of emotions he felt when he knew he would never return.

But you’d left behind so much more than he did. You had a trusted group. A family who would only know what happened to you through the words of that young girl.

“They’ll be safe, (Y/N). He may be an asshole sometimes, but I trust Erwin. He wouldn’t break his word,” running his hands through your soaked hair, Levi gently teased the knots out with his fingers, easily gliding through the now freed strands.

His reassurance calmed your worries. Levi hardly trusted anyone, you only ever knew him to trust Isobel, Farlan and yourself. This Erwin guy must have really made an impression.

Reaching back to the small flannel he’d brought down with him, he began drying your hair, setting the basin to one side. You didn’t think you’d ever felt this pampered. This well looked after. You thought you could certainly get used to it. Returning your thoughts to the conversation, you exhaled a sigh.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… My job was to take care of them. My job was to stop something like this from happening. Our entire operation was compromised because my shitty partner couldn’t get over some grudge she had against a boy she’d never met,” you poked his chest as he rolled his eyes, looking down at you with a brow raised.

“So it’s my fault?”

“I didn’t say that,”

“You implied it,”

“Oh don’t be so sensitive,”

“I wasn’t the one who cheated,”

You almost sat bolt upright at that, if it weren’t for him anticipating the movement. What did he mean ‘cheat’? You didn’t cheat. You would never cheat. Loyalty ran through your veins like blood, and if you weren’t so incredulous you would have spotted the smallest hint of mischief in his steely eyes.

“Wh— Cheat? I didn’t cheat. What makes you think that?” your genuine concern broke his heart, and he almost felt bad for teasing you like this.

Almost.

Taking your face in both his hands, Levi failed to suppress the fugitive smirk on his face.

“We technically never broke up, brat,” you breathed a sigh of relief, before turning back to scowl at him, tempted to lightly smack the back of his head.

“Don’t fucking scare me like that, asshole,” your scowl held no heat, too relieved that he was just being pedantic rather than actually implying you would ever be disloyal. But your glare melted away at the rumble of a chuckle emitting from his chest. You rolled your eyes, trying your best to feign annoyance and failing miserably.  

Removing the small towel from your now damp hair, Levi deemed it dry enough for you to sleep on without catching a cold.

“There. Think you can do the rest yourself? I don’t wanna… make you uncomfortable or anything,” it was your turn for your heart to break, his consideration for your comfort and wellbeing always seemed to be his top priority. You took his hand in yours, gently stroking your thumb over his knuckles.

“You’ve done more than enough,” earnest gratitude swam in your eyes and it was all Levi could do not to stoop down and kiss you.

Instead, he stayed put for a little while longer, stealing all the seconds he could. He’d realised, with you joining the Survey Corps, you two wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. The company you’d both enjoyed for the past week would be ripped away by expeditions, training and paperwork.

So he greedily took as much time as the two of you could spare, before you would inevitably have to part ways.

“I have to go, (Y/N),” Levi whispered, although every part of him was longing to stay, especially when your face slowly fell in realisation.

“I know,” you tried to mask your melancholy with a gentle smile, but your voice betrayed you, breaking slightly as you spoke. Neither of you wanted to be the one to move. Neither of you wanted to be the first to burst the protective bubble of familiarity you both knew you wouldn’t feel again for a long, long time.

But to save him from doing it himself, you were the one to shift, allowing him to rise from the bed.

“I’ll uh, leave all this here and collect it early in the morning,” Levi shifted slightly awkwardly on his feet, running a hand through his hair. You nodded, adjusting yourself carefully. Your midsection didn’t hurt as much, more of an echoing throb, but you were still cautious nonetheless.

“Right, yeah. Probably a good idea, before anyone sees,” you shrugged, avoiding having to look at his face. You knew it would break both of you if you’d asked whether there was any chance of him staying.

Just for a little while longer.

“I’ll see you soon… Raven,” you felt your soul crack as he replaced your name with your alias. You knew it was right. You knew it was for the best. But that wouldn’t stop every fiber of your being shattering.

Levi hated how you said nothing as he turned to leave. He pretended not to notice your heartbreak as he deliberately called you Raven. He suppressed the urge to pick you up and take you with him. To carry you to his bed and cage you in his arms as you both fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

He didn’t know your prolonged silence was because you were gathering your courage. Silently arguing with yourself over what was right and what was wrong until you stopped him by calling his name.

“Levi…” There was no turning back now. You took a breath, finally raising your eyes to meet his now on the other side of the bars. “I—” love you.

You immediately stopped yourself, finding those three words caught in your throat. You couldn’t say them. Shit, you couldn’t say them.

You were a coward.

“Thank you,”

Levi stayed searching your face. He knew. He knew that wasn’t what you wanted to say. Because that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He let loose a breath he didn’t know he was holding, giving you one last look of badly masked longing, before turning away.

“Training starts tomorrow,” though the words themselves were cold, his tone was laced with mourning as his footsteps echoed out of earshot, leaving you completely and utterly alone.

Levi had managed all but three steps into the hallway before his name was called by an irritatingly familiar voice.

“Ah, Levi. Good. My office. Now, if you’re not busy,” Erwin had a way of saying ‘if you’re not busy’ that sounded like he was really saying ‘there is absolutely no debate in this, you could be bleeding out and missing an arm and I would still expect you in my office within the next five minutes’. Levi knew he didn’t exactly have a choice.

“Sure. Let me make some tea and I’ll be right there,” he knew he’d made a mistake. The look in Erwin’s cerulean eyes told him that the tall blonde had figured something out. Something dangerous that could compromise his relationship with you.

Actually, he’d probably figured out he had a relationship with you.

Shit…

He was in so much trouble.

[thecreaturecodex]

Bugblatter Beast

“The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal” © Richard Svensson, accessed at his deviantArt gallery here

[There have been an enormous number of different versions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: radio play, book, miniseries, video game, film. All of them at least mention the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal, a creature so stupid that it thinks that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you. There’s a mechanical hook if I’ve ever heard one. Remember, bugblatter beasts will make a fine meal for of any tourists visiting Traal!]

Bugblatter Beast CR 10 N Magical Beast This creature is a quadruped of faintly reptilian aspect, with an enormous head making up about half of its body. Its pillar like legs end in sharp claws, and its maw is filled with irregular teeth. It wears a very hungry, very stupid, expression.

A bugblatter beast is a carnivorous monster as dull minded as it is ravenous. A bugblatter beast can barely distinguish self from non-self, and exists in a perpetual state of hallucination. Some of the things it attempts to eat are not real, leaving it perennially hungry and angry. Its state of perception is so loosely tied to reality that, if a creature cannot see it, it forgets that it can see the creature, and so generally ignores it. With such a preposterous behavioral regimen, it is apparent that the bugblatter beast was created as a joke, perhaps by some powerful fey or protean.

Bugblatter beasts are so weak-willed that they are easily controlled by more intelligent creatures, but so stupid that it is usually not worth the effort. Some species use them as a method of executions, as their voracious attacks are not soon forgotten by those that witness them. The prisoner’s face is usually covered by a staring mask, else they might close their eyes and the bugblatter beast might lose interest. The practice of having a cloth to cover one’s head and avoid the creature’s gaze is common in areas where bugblatter beasts roam.

Bugblatter beasts are solitary creatures. If two of them come across one another and either is hungry, they soon turn on and fight each other, usually to the death. If both are well fed and not ravenous, they will mate in a swift, perfunctory fashion. The female lays her eggs, covers them with earth or vegetation, and then promptly forgets about them. As the first thing a newborn bugblatter beast sees is typically its siblings, it then tries to eat them. Rarely does more than one bugblatter beast survive a nest.

Bugblatter Beast  CR 10 XP 9,600 N Huge magical beast Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +11 Defense AC 23, touch 10, flat-footed 21 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +13 natural) hp 138 (12d10+72) Fort +14, Ref +12, Will +1 DR 10/magic; Immune ability damage, ability drain, confusion and insanity effects; SR 21 Weakness daft as a bush Offense Speed 40 ft. Melee bite +14 (2d8+16/19-20 plus grab), 2 claws +14 (1d8+16) Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks aggressive, fast swallow, swallow whole (AC 21, 26 hp, 2d6+12 bludgeoning) Statistics Str 26, Dex 14, Con 22, Int 1, Wis 1, Cha 1 Base Atk +12; CMB +22 (+26 grapple); CMD 34 (38 vs. trip) Feats Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (bite), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Power Attack (B) Skills Acrobatics +9 (+13 when jumping), Climb +13, Perception +11, Swim +13; Racial Modifiers +8 Perception SQ armored stomach Ecology Environment warm and temperate hills Organization solitary or pair Treasure incidental Special Abilities Aggressive (Ex) A bugblatter beast gains Power Attack as a bonus feat, and is always treated as using the Power Attack feat to modify its attacks. It cannot choose not to use Power Attack. Armored Stomach (Ex) A bugblatter beast’s stomach gains a +4 natural armor bonus above the norm, and has double as many hit points as normal. Daft as a Bush (Ex) A bugblatter beast treats creatures that cannot see it as if they were invisible.