#ranting on a friday oops

[thosemintcookies]

See the problem isn't even about shipping itself. I've seen like "Yeah shipping doesn't have to exist what about nonromantic relationships and gen!" Which I think is also missing the point. I think the deeper root is that it's discouraging to see people lose sight of art itself as something that's political, as something with bias, as something with a message, as symbolic, etc as a construct of the thing itself. The real problem is that art is becoming a marketable product for wanton consumption and people don't want to engage in art for arts sake.

Yes light-hearted stuff does have its place but what is art for? Sometimes you should be emotionally and ideologically challenged because it fosters growth, and it helps build empathy for complex experiences that you might not have.

Art is subjective, not just in reference to "quality" whatever that means. It means it deals with the realm of the subjective- in emotions, experiences, expressions, philosophies, perspectives, attachments.

And then also being able to sit and decode biases of the writers and the constructs of the narrative also help with being able to enjoy light-hearted things and to understand the jokes. Dr. Goldfoot and the bikini machine is also a deconstruction of the treatment of women in the James Bond franchise. Megamind is also a statement on toxic possessive masculinity and humanizing criminals and immigrants.

Its also kind of wild that these are just. Topics. They're not even particularly deep topics and explorations. It's wild to me that just interpreting at all is seen as intellectual and unnecessary. Also, understanding these themes and being able to agree/disagree with the methods and messaging is part of what makes a piece of media enjoyable in the first place!

The other thing is, I want to leave room for the idea that not everyone is able to intepret. Ive seen the stance that being anti-fandomification is ableist. There are people who won't, for example, he able to pick up on social cues of the characters and therefore come to different conclusions on why a certain scene was put in place. I think that's all fine and good and valid, but I think the more we can enjoy and interpret media as a culture beyond their face value marketability the better. I mean there are going to be asexual aromantic autistic people for example who would love to be able to have media that explore a wider diversity of motifs and topics and interests presented. Diversifying fan reception also helps out people who engage with media differently from you (ex. I know there has been a huge backlash in the stereotype of thr gatekeeping comics reader who just asks if you've read certain runs to test your alliegence to the franchise. I wonder how much of that is just a fucked up portrayal of autistic fans who want to talk about their favourite plots with someone who might understand).

I don't know. It's just kind of exhausting it's become about defensiveness about how you enjoy your media. Like yeah to be honest shipping characters is fun or whatever. I think though this is a sentiment coming from people who are constantly seeing people miss the point of a piece of media that they do love, having characters they love be misinterpreted, or being distraught when people are praising a show for fat queer rep when the media is clearly pushing an anti-fat and anti-queer narrative by making them a Nazi sympathizer and pedophile or something. It also encourages less thoughtful media making on the part of artists and creators who are more encouraged to think about the bottom line, especially when fans flock to things with interesting concepts and aesthetics but absolutely no substance or chemistry between characters.

Idk. People point to how Spirk was so popular and that shipping has existed since the 70s. And yes weird porn has always existed and I encourage people writing whatever. But that ship also arose out of a progressive piece of media that tried to come up with a hopeful future world where people are united regardless of race or nationality. You have a black woman and a Russian and an honest-to-god mixed race alien all working together like its normal. The themes of the show are progressive. Of course people are going to read into the homoerotic relationship at the heart of the series.

The problem now is that people are still drumming up excitement over absolute shit-tier content like marvel films and Avatar 2 that are actually pretty regressive for Our Modern Times being pro-military and cisheteronormative. Care more about the artistic value of a piece if only to demand better from corporations. If only to be able to see through progressive posturing on the topic of representation just to spout regressive propaganda.

[good-beans]

Coping with round 7 by picturing normal au Milgram characters as Alien Stage fans. Not all of them are super into it, but have heard about it from the ones that are big fans. It's very fun to picture scenes of them discussing and getting emotional about a youtube based gradual release music video story project, 10/10 would recommend

Haruka*: Big fan of Sua, even though she makes him so sad. He's obsessed with Sweet Dream, and listens to that and My Clematis all the time.

Yuno: A tie between Ivan and Luka as her favorite character. Probably the one to get the most into the worldbuilding, knowing the minor characters and aliens' names.

Fuuta**: Is genuinely a big Till fan, but pretends he's an even bigger Till fan out of fear people will discover his huge crush on Hyuna. He went crazy over both versions of All-In.

Muu*: Likes Luka but is too afraid to sound like a fan of the antagonist, so she mostly focuses on her love of Mizi. Both because of the characters and the song itself, she really enjoys Ruler of My Heart.

Shidou: A fan of Mizi for obvious reasons, but really enjoys the melancholy of Black Sorrow and Cure

Mahiru*: Mizi all the way. She's going through it in a series about doomed romance, but she still loves it. Enjoys Mizi x Till, Hyuna x Luka, and any rarepair that passes her by.

Kazui: Yeah... Ivan... I don't think he'd be huge into the series, but if he did get deeper, I think he'd be really intrigued by Luka. Likes Black Sorrow, wasn't as into Cure as he expected.

Amane**: Has mixed feelings about the religion/love thing going on, but really likes Mizi and her songs. Really enjoys the cover songs and hearing characters sing things differently.

Mikoto: Genuinely likes the cast evenly, but if he had to pick he'd pick Till because he really enjoys the faster songs like Unknown and Blink Gone.

Kotoko: Recognizes that she's a lot like Hyuna, but Till's wildness makes him her favorite. She saw Till's death coming so she's more thrilled with Blink Gone than upset with the story

Es: Really loves Hyuna. They love the familial story with her brother and also think she's a cool character. Ivan is a close second specifically because they love his voice.

*has gotten choked up/teared up at an mv release

**has gotten choked up/teared up at an mv release and viciously denies it

[gomzdrawfr]

god i really am a tumblrina I read ur poll as Gaz and immediately clicked Price before I realized it said Gomz 😭 rip my piss reading comprehension 💀

Anon its ok though I wish I was even 10% of Price 😂

[ibijau]

writer's walk of shame of preparing to update a fic and you have to scroll down very far to find it again

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[iamiamiam1111]

Challenge Progress:

so I’m doing @lotusmi‘s void challengeeee!

but I’m also using it in the case of making my life perfect and it works really well.

22nd February 2023:(Day-1)

okay it’s only day-1 and I’ve already seen great results. 

- usually,when I wake up,I instantly go and check for more void success storie for motivation which is a bad habit ik but today,right after waking up,I ranted about how it’s super easy to get into the void state which is so aNnOyInG. right after that,I didn’t feel the urge to do that anymore. i knew that I get into the void effortlessly becuz I said so.

- in the afternoon,I put the sleep paralysis vid recommended by @gorgeouslypink. i never tried to induce sleep paralysis before so it’s time I do it. (nah I just was in the mood to do it today so I did lmao). i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and I felt like I was being sucked out of my body and after a few minutes,I fell back into my body. but I was close.

but the thing is…

that is not how you induce sleep paralysis. 😭 

you should set a timer for 5 hours first but I obviously didn’t recheck the sleep paralysis post and I just stayed still for like 10 minutes.

but it kinda worked ‘cause I assumed it did so-

- my void concept has gotten a lot better. now I do find void to be a part of my life. it’s easy and effortless for me to enter because I am the void. i don’t find void to be an impossible task to do. (I didn’t rlly find it impossible before but I did assume multiple times that it was hard to get into the void which was a huge mistake of mind because it’s super easy to enter.)

- my self concept has gotten better too. I have been manifesting things more effortlessly and i admire myself whenever I look in the mirror. (self-love 😌❤️) I also ranted about how I was addicted to studying and how it was SO annoying that I always get full marks. the board exams (finals) are starting in 4 days so I’ll tell you how it does. about the studying part,I studied ALOT today. I don’t even study like this usually. but today,I studied a lottt without my parents lecturing me to do so. my parents complimented me on this wheeee.

these are the results so far.

 i am gunna try the @gorgeouslypink‘s Fild method when I wake up tmr because to me,it’s an easy method and I have had multiple successes of getting lucid dreams so this method resonates with me. thank you for reading! have a great day!

24th February 2023:(Day-2,Friday)

alright so today will be counted as day-2 because yesterday,I took a break. BUT GUESS WHAT?

today,I did an alpha state meditation and after affirming that I’m in the void for a few minutes,I GOT IN!  I affirmed for this specific flavour of pringles and this specific flavour of dairy milk lmao.  idk I just felt like it (food is life) and then,I got out of the void AND I GOT IT!

I have to make a void list to manifest the next time I enter the void.

i manifested a magnum icecream bar too but I already ate it lmao…oops.

Ik this seems like a simple desire but still…nothing compares to food. I should’ve manifested a feast but-

I’ve been wanting pringles for a while and specifically the pizza flavour and I just got some random chocolate that came to my mind to go along with it uwu.

Here’s proof:

[speedywithadhd]

Mod mj here HEYYY it's not a dumb thing to be sad over— Prom, grad night and dancing does sound nice, and I'm sorry you wouldn't experience it BUTTTTT you deserve something lovely so treat yourself your favorite food, watch movies you love/curious about, long baths because it's the best and yeahhh do you own thang!!!!

OOC: OKAY 1, I'm stealing that image, 2, THANK YOU?!?!?!?!?!? I have so many bath bombs i need to use (They are from my ex..) BUT I JUSTGVTUWDSAYHK I'm too used to people telling me that my reasons for being sad are stupid okay... I will be watching my favorite movies today.... DUDE I JUST HATE THIS SCHOOL i woke up, today, had THREE OVERDO LESSONS???? i had NO work friday.... I'm watching under the red hood today (WILD comfort movie man) I CANT EAT MY FAV FOOD AUGHBDWSJA unlike bart its sushi and i have NO money.....

i ranted oops

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello

Finally, I can join your games. 😆. How are you? I hope you are well

Initials or nickname :

Jes

Favorite comfort song and why :

People by Libianca. Its because the song is a tender cry for help that captured certain people at a crushing low point. Although I was there for people during their hard time but sometime I feel lonely since no one check on me. So I always listen to this song to cope lol

Question

Message from my spirit guides (warning & blessing that they want me to know)

Thank you, take your time. Have a nice day ~

Hi dear Jes!

Ahehehe, finally you got a chance to participate in my ask games~

When I checked up the song, the lyrics are so sad! Gurrrrrlllll!!! Who hurt you? Who are WE MAD at and wanna try some karma?!

*ehem* I needed to gather my composure.

So you're asking for a message from your spirit guides, for warnings and blessings, right? I hope it's okay I do it in bullet form because they have like one-liners and short phrases and sentences for you:

Warnings/Rants:

"Who told you that you can get away with talking crap about yourself?"

"When did we teach you to self-sabotage?" *energetic glare at the back of your skull*

"You know your lack of self-worth is like digging your own grave, right?"

"Eww... that person?! Really?! You're into THAT??!!!" *your spirit guides collectively giving you the side eye*

"Why are you dreaming so small? We all know you're meant for better things? They'll learn to be fine without your help. They have no choice. This is YOUR LIFE to live the way YOU WANT TO!! Not theirs to control and manipulate." (oops dammmnnmnnnnnn....)

"Once a user/cheater/player/liar, always a user/cheater/player/liar" (oh no...)

"Double check your insurance policy and read the fine print ALWAYS"

"Don't you dare pull unpaid late night shifts! The money isn't worth sacrificing your health for."

"Avoid going through the past less traveled." (I'm seeing a corner street that's almost dusty/rarely driven through, like a back alley or a street you never used for a shortcut) Wait till next week Friday before you pass by there.

Now for the blessings/compliments:

"Ooooohhh you precious little one!! (your spirit guides see you as their baby) You've come such a long way!"

"Be proud of your journey! It's not all rainbows and sunshine but it's still all you! So embrace your awesomeness!"

"We'll give you a bit of a hint: it's not a promotion but it is something just as great. It could actually be better than you had hoped for if you change your perspective in the matter"

"There's some money coming your way, but it's not from your day job. It's not illegal, so don't worry! It's just a little something from us to you~"

"Someone that's actually gonna treat you right is literally right under your nose~ why you settling for crumbs sweetie!?"

"If there's an offer that seems too good to be true, take it but read the fine print ALWAYS."

*gives you energetic head pats* "You're doing amazing!! Never forget that you are doing the best that you can right now! yes you know you can be better, so use the time to rest now and do better later."

"Watch Inside Out 2, you'll thank us later". (yoooooo a movie recommendation!? this is a first~)

So far, you only asked for warnings and blessings but your guides also want to give you rants and compliments because they were like, "When will we ever get a chance to do this again?!" so they took the opportunity and did this.

So remember, free will is something you have, so only take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Do let me know in your feedback how this resonates with you.

Again, thank you for participating in my ask game~

[momdiaries]

05/17/24

Friday Rant and Word Vomit Warning:

So it's the community garage sale tomorrow and I've already told my mom, anything that's mine or my child's, I would like to donate since this year, we want to walk around and see what everyone else is selling....so why did she put all of my child's things out for sale tomorrow and none of her own damn stuff? When I saw it, I casually asked, is the money going to my child if you're selling her stuff? (Keep in mind, I bought these items, that's why I said I would like to donate them) and she got quiet but then said, we'll if you stay here you can get the money, so I said we'll if it's alright, I'd like to donate everything. At that point, she's upset and goes well, and then I'll just pack everything and donate since I don't have anything of mine to sell. (She tends to hoard, so she has A LOT but refuses to get rid of them) it's weird, I don't feel bad. I already told her I'd like to get donate anything, but she didn't listen. She's done this before, too. A while back, she felt the house was cluttered and started screaming about it and so at that time, I felt the anger was towards me, it always was when I grew up, so I immediately got rid of everything that was mine around the house. Right after I came back from Goodwill, she laughed and apologized, like, oops? My bad. And guess what, her stuff was still everywhere. It just misses me off so much. Ugh, okay, rant over for now. I have to pack all our stuff and prep it for goodwill...I don't feel bad anymore... Is that bad?

[fieldofhate]

I have an oc rn that's a friend of Morgan Stark's. They're a freak. They have some sort of connection to Red Room. One idea is later on in the timeline, like they're in their late 30s ish Morgan attempts to use extremis (a la superior iron man) to stop that Marvel Zombies virus thing. Oc is subjected to it while turning and it gets all fucked up. Oops it's Annihilation/The Thing/Venom style gender euphoria horror body. And also Morgs becomes Rescue. OC merges/takes over as compound AI, replacing or joining alongside or merging with or taking over FRIDAY or EDITH. Ok stay with me, Iron Maiden after Compound merge?

Another timeline they b Iron Widow but only when forced to be by circumstance. They're not a super hero type under other circumstances as they never think they're responsible enough and they're right. They're more of a passive force unless personally motivated. Also they're aro.

A normal everything's fine timeline: they meet tony stark multiple times before realizing that he's tony stark. Combination of dissociation and avoiding eye contact to the point where they just don't look at people even while in conversation. - One of their manic/delusional episode line up exactly with Tony's relapse. Oc steals his drink and Tony is too distracted trying to decipher oc insane rant to keep drinking. There is no logic to it. - they can in no way keep up with the Stark's Smart Talk they are genuinely a dunce but will occasionally recognize and relay seemingly at random, sporadical, very specific, detailed, disjointed facts/trivia relating to the topic. It's never been helpful.

Morgan and oc aren't best friends or anything they just in the same friend group. Depending on timeline they become closer later on.

They are often nonverbal.

[davekitties]

putting under a readmore because it's a long, rambly, rant.

I need to remember how upsetting these past 4 days of not having meds has been. I get that it was over the holidays, but I was doing everything correctly, and people were still treating me rudely. I literally can't refill my meds until the day they run out/maybe one day before, and all these different people I called were like "you should know we are closing 2 hours earlier than listed online and that we are gonna be closed extra days too sweaty," while I was literally following their stupid rules. I called them Friday morning, no one answered, so I left a message, and then I called back around 2:30 (they close at 4pm) because no one called me back, and they were fucking closed and the lady on the line was condescending about how I should have known they were closing at 2pm that day. so I wait till fucking today, Tuesday, since everything was fucking closed yesterday for new years day, and call and they're like yeah, we can write your meds for a different MG, just tell us what pharmacy to use since there's tons of adderall shortages. I call my pharmacy, and they have fucking NONE. I call around a few places and find one that has some. Call my psychiatrist back, leave a message saying to send the script to the new pharmacy, wait a few hours, call them again to confirm they got my message, and the nurse goes "oops, I sent the info to the wrong doctor, sorry, lemme send it again, tehe," (SO LIKE IF I HADNT CALLED AGAIN IT WOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN DONE RIGHT). I wait a few hours, and then get a text from my psych's office saying they sent meds in, so I wait an hour and call the new pharmacy (that I had to completely switch all my other meds over to in order to get this one), give them my new insurance number (love medical stuff early January 🙃) and they tell me they JUST got the script in the system, and it'll take 20 minutes to fill. my bf, who's off today, went and got it and delivered my meds to me.

okay, that was fucking long, sorry, probably gonna add a read more higher up, but like, holy shit... from the first lady Friday laughing at me and telling me that not having my meds doesn't count as an emergency to talk to the on call doctor, to the incompetence at my psychiatrist's office. I'm going to switch psychiatrists I think uhghh but, anyways, my point is that the american healthcare system is fucked and especially fucked for people with ADHD or other developmental issues like I almost gave up and was just gonna go without adderall because this was such a fucking hassle from the phone calls to being treated like a criminal for needing adderall to function. the only reason I persisted was because I just got promoted at work, and I can't be slacking right now, and I was slacking without my meds!! I was sleeping 12-14 hours and got jack shit done (even in video games, if you can believe that).

so, yeah, im going to remember my rage, my anger, my frustration and stress and anxiety, over this. the only reason I kept trying was out of pure, indignant, rage, and I know it's not healthy, but without my medication I felt like a shapeless blob, bobbing around randomly. my motivation to do anything was fucking gone, and I knew the only way to solve that was to get my ass into gear and start harassing (nicely) people on the phone until I got my motivation back.

just... be kind to people, okay? even if you don't understand, be kind in any way you can, and shout out to the lady at the new pharmacy that was so helpful and sweet

out of my medication and I can't even call and get anyone to fucking fix it because the pharmacy is out of my mg and my pysch's office didn't answer my fucking calls and everything is closed until Tuesday and apparently not having my medicine doesn't count as an emergency to the on call doctor!!!! Im fucking screaming

[notaboutmeeee]

You know, hats off to hoechlin. He really got what he wanted out of the teen wolf movie without having to do too much.

Waited til dylan was in or out. Once dylan said no to the movie, he used that opening to negotiated the shit out of p+ til he got what he wanted and they basically had to say yes bc he's the next biggest draw (within fandom and as superman outside the fandom I'd guess)

Got not only the producer credit (and slight say) but probably also more money bc of it. Which lead to posey having a meltdown/tantrum forcing p+ to give him his consolation producer credit

Used his prod credit to not only cast Derek's son, direct Derek's son and probably influence Derek's story in the movie a bit (seems it could've been his idea to even give Derek a kid)

He literally posted 1.5 times on his ig about the movie (1= the sdcc promo post that included pr text and hashtags, very unlike his other posts on like Superman and lois; 0.5=when him joining was announced and he just posted the Screenshots of like the deadline article.) he put very little effort into it

Sure he went to sdcc for the movie, they probs had that in the contract "you must go to comic con and the p+UK event" ; the 2 comic con events in Manchester and Wales were more fan related since he also did superman and lois with bitsie and Alex there

And besides doing the mandatory reshoots, that's basically been it

Like only 2 people (Jr, maybe Vince, makeup crew people) posted bts stuff containing hoech; which was weird back then;them waiting til like after he'd finished filming to announce him being in the movie?

Then now this with nycc has me rolling in tears (of laughter): I don't know who (I think I read p*#ey) said hoech was supposed to be there but "got stuck in traffic". 100% total horseshit I bet. Either be it bc hoech was never going to come, he declined, never answered them, he was working on Friday on S&L, he was flying from Canada to nyc on Friday and had to film Thursday, he lied in "dog ate my homework" lying... Who knows. But he's never missed a con like that and what a flimsy excuse so yeah, baloney.

And then they showed a clip of Derek and Eli at nycc. Which a) the clip reminded me why I stopped watching the dumb stupidly written not though out at all show b) the clip reminded me so much of sterek and fandom (and how we'll make it better) and c) hoech's I love stiles/dylan tour of '22

It feels like he said he'd do the bare minimum for the contract, they thought he'd sprinkle in nycc and show some love to the movie but instead he kept mentioning dylan & how he's the bestest and was what he (and fans lol) liked the most about the show, aka the person they'd prefer not talking about since he's not in the movie haha

I wish I knew anything about the bts drama (you know since this was all my theories/interpretations) bc sth got to be going on. This is too wild

(Also how are you going to have a panel at a comic con, a place where fans get to Interact and ask questions, but then double book 2 things for 1 slot ie not have time for any/or only 1 fan questions? Sounds dumb)

Rant/thoughts over before I get totally lost

[rose-lalondde]

every time i read a Drop of Poison the most jaw-dropping shit happens

[emgoesmed]

9/15/2021

Somehow scored 100% on my weekly quiz this morning. A good start to the day.

What are your favorite songs to listen to in autumn?

I don't have any particular favorites.

If you could magically get rid of anything about autumn, what would it be?

Black Friday. It's the day after Thanksgiving (although it's expanded to Thanksgiving itself and the weekend following) where stores across the country offer insanely cheap "discounts". Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong with sales or discounts, but a lot of these products have artificially inflated prices to make the discounts seem even steeper, so people often don't get the best value for their efforts. Most importantly, customers have literally been trampled to death trying to get the best sales. People are worked up to an intense capitalist frenzy. It feels like ideological whiplash after the focus on gratitude during Thanksgiving (I want to acknowledge that there are a lot of problems with Thanksgiving as a holiday, stemming from the USA's past and current treatment of Native American peoples, but that's not the topic of this rant). Anyway, while I understand why people love Black Friday, I wish it didn't exist.

[jenivi]

if only my birthday was before or on black friday, then i wouldve been able to stack my bday discount + black friday discount + employee discount at my work place at the same time !!!!

[helianskies]

mum: it's your last day of being 21, why not go out and party or something?

me, an anxiety-riddled introvert who only left the house for the first time today in a week because i've been dealing with Some Stuff: