#rant about historical accuracy

[skadi-gemini]

There’s a Cleopatra movie in the works and we once again won’t get a historically accurate depiction. 😩

Contemporary busts from her time depicting what she looked like. ⬇️

I just want accuracy, man. That’s it. 😭 We could’ve got an actual Greek or Mediterranean person. :/

[deoidesign]

"Is Adam ever going to face racism because like… that seems extremely relevant for some of these time periods lol"

I won't be saying this twice.

No.

I think it's inappropriate for me as a white writer to put him through racism that I am incapable of writing from a personal point of view.

I also find it gratuitous at best to depict "historical accuracy" for racism, when suspension of disbelief is had for homophobia, magic, time travel, and historical accuracy in general.

I don't care about historical accuracy. Sorry. Read a different comic.

[alpinelogy]

you know what i will throw a bone to ridley scotts napoleon: the the world, for josephine character poster fucking slaps and it will forever live rent free in my head

[blumineck]

hi! you're great I love your work! I've got a weirdly specific archery question and thought I'd send it to you in case you'd find it fun to have a crack at

say you're an expert archer originally from Vietnam sometime in the late bronze age. say you're a super duper expert archer because it turns out you're immortal, and so you do your archery across Eurasia through the first millennium BCE and the first millennium CE and into the age where gunpowder weapons are evolving into cannons. that's a long time to be alive and you do lots of hunting and fighting with all kinds of bows and shooting styles, especially war archery on horseback. then you're out of the picture for a while, let's say you're peacefully sleeping for a handful of centuries. (this is about Quynh from The Old Guard who alas was not peacefully sleeping)

all of a sudden you blink and you've gone from the era where firearms were just starting to develop and maybe with this new flintlock thing guns could eventually get good enough to rival a bow and arrows— bam, now you're in the 21st century. what kinds of modern archery tech would you be most excited to try out? what would you think of a compound bow? Olympic style archery? plastic fletching?? how about the modern reproductions of what are now considered historical bows and shooting styles? is there anything about 21st century archery that you'd want to rant about at length? other opinions about these newfangled takes on your trusty old bow and arrows you care to share?

This is a phenomenal question, and thank you for asking it! Here’s my 2 cents:

The thing about modern archery is that for the most part, modern bows are designed to make it easier to be accurate, to the stage that modern target accuracy is probably better than it’s ever been historically.

BUT, if we assume Quynh is capable of feats of archery that match the level of melee combat skill that e.g. Andy has, then she doesn’t NEED it to be easier to be accurate.

My guess is that someone like her would actually find most modern archery developments needlessly slow and awkward. Compound bows and Olympic recurves are NOT designed for instinctive, fast shooting, and would probably feel quite restrictive once she got over how easy they made accuracy.

BUT, I imagine she would be blown away by the range and arrow speed that modern bows can generate, and there are some recurves (and at least one compound bow), that have been designed to make use of the efficiency of modern materials and bow design, while still allowing traditional shooting styles, and those, THOSE are something an ancient immortal archer might fall in love with! (FWIW, my own go-to is a horsebow made with carbon-fibre limbs and a modern limb profile, and for impact energy it can match some traditional bows with a draw weight that’s 50% greater. The Oneida eagle compound could trump that).

So yeah, it might take her a bit, but once she gets her hands on the right equipment, she’d be (even more) TERRIFYING!

[treesandwords]

PET PEEVE TIME

Stop, for the love of god, lumping in fantasy with historical fiction!!! They are not the same! I can't believe I have to say this but I have seen so many times people online referring to stuff like Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones as 'historical' (and then usually complaining about how the costumes 'aren't historically accurate' or something stupid) and like. How can you seriously thing those are historical. Do you know what historical fiction is. Just because something has a pseudo-Medieval aesthetic doesn't make it historical fiction.

Seriously as someone who loves both genres stop doing this I don't now why it keeps happening ffs

[smugglerofsass]

Sneaking in to share my thoughts since clothing/style history is my specialty/focus as a museum professional. 18th century styles like this are typically done with a combination of curls and ponytails, braids do appear in some sources, but they don't seem to be the most common method. Based upom this, it's likely a ponytail with the ribbon wrapped around quite a bit of the hair before being tied in a bow. Historically, these styles would be created with a hogs fat mixture that acted as a kind of pomade like product. These styles could be wigs or natural hair, and up until the late 18th century, it was common to powder them to give a white or grey cast like a wig. Powder began to fall out of favor for young men in the later part of the century, and the combination of English taxation of hair powder and French association of these styles with the aristocracy put an end to these styles in the 1790s.

I could be wrong and it could totally be a braid, there don't seem to be clear enough pictures anywhere, but the little ponytail with the bow, with or without curls on the top and around the face, is basically the men's style of the 18th century.

hi, do you know if there are any clearer pictures of bastille crowley? I'm rewatching the show and I'd like to know if he's wearing his hair in a ponytail or a braid in those scenes and for the life of me I can't tell. thank you ❤

Hiya! :) The back of his hair I don't think we have a good pic of :/:) But I think there is a bow of some kind? (lightened it a lot up to see)

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Gryffindor's Sword

This isn't really a theory for the books, but this really bothered me, so it's more like a little rant, I guess.

See, I love historical weapons (and historical fashion, but that's not what we're talking about now), and I hate the design of Godric Gryffindor's sword in the movies. And I want to rant a little about what Gryffindor's sword would actually look like if anyone bothered to do a quick Google search.

This ornate little thing:

Is not a sword, it's a toothpick. No way would a self-respecting English wizard-warrior of the 11th century use something that looks anything like that. Not only does the blade look pathetic, this sword isn't remotely functional. Here is a summary of some of my complaints about the design (without talking about historical accuracy):

This thing is tiny. Swords shouldn't be this dainty, they need to have some weight behind them so blows would actually do damage. This so-called "sword" is barely better than fighting with a knitting needle.

The hilt is too ornate, it looks purely ceremonial and not functional. Battle-made swords would usually be simpler. All the ornate details on the hilt make it so it'll be incredibly uncomfortable to hold in your hand, which is the last thing you want in a fight.

Additionally, the all-metal hilt would have a very weak grip with little to no friction. It means that in the middle of a duel, you could find the sword slipping out of your hand if your opponent strikes it hard enough.

The blade profile is atrocious. The edge should thin out gradually to improve the cutting, here we see the edge just, thins out really quickly at the end, without gradual tempering. Even kitchen knives have this gradual thinning. But not this sword, I guess no one needed to cut with it.

And it won't be good for stabbing either, as the point is barely pointy (even in other photos). And even if we assume it's pointy, a blade designed for trusting would be thinner at the point than this one (on all planes). That said, thrusting swords in this period would still be better at cutting than the above atrocity.

This sword lacks a fuller (the sort of cave-in in the middle of the blade). The fuller helps reduce weight and strengthen the rigidity of a sword. Magic can help with both these issues, but, the lack of fuller is a mark of a poorly designed sword.

Well-made swords would usually have what's called a "distal taper", which is that the blade gradually thins on the horizontal plane to reduce weight at the point. This is good for balance and stabbing. This is an example of a distal taper on a knife:

The design from the movies does not have a distal taper and I can guarantee no goblin would look at the abomination the movies called a sword and think it's remotely passable.

So, if we want to talk about what Godric Gryffindor's sword would actually look like?

It'll be something like this:

(11th-century Viking Sword, got popularised in Britain by the Viking invasions)

Or this:

(11th-century Anglo-Saxon Broadsword, existed in Britain since the 5th century in slightly different designs. Yes it is very similar to a Viking sword, it was a common design at the time)

Or even an arming sword that rose in popularity around the mid-11th-century:

(Early 11th century English Arming Sword)

As an 11th-century English wizard, Godric could've had either of the three.

As for the design described in the book and how it could work with this kind of blade:

A gleaming silver sword had appeared inside the hat, its hilt glittering with rubies the size of eggs.

(CoS, 295)

For the metal, there are two possibilities here:

Harry doesn't know much about swords or metals, I think he could mistake polished steel for silver. Silver is way weaker than steel and depending on forging, another steel sword could cut through it. Pure silver would also not hold its form as much as steel, so a sword design like that of older bronze swords (another softer metal) could be better for it than what was typical for steel swords in the 11th century. Even if the silver is hardened to keep it in shape (which can be done) it would become brittle and break easily. Basically, regular silver is a really bad metal for these kinds of swords, especially if your opponents wield steel. Which brings me to the second option...

The other possibility is that Goblin-forged silver is just magically very strong so it won't break under pressure (like regular hardened silver). Steel swords solve the issue by having some yield to bend instead of snapping, if goblin silver is just magically strong enough that the sword won't snap or the sword is enchanted unbreakable, this would work too.

As for the egg-sized rubies, well, maybe the size of fish eggs? I honestly don't know what JKR was on about here... The sword could have one egg-sized ruby on the pommel (the metal piece at the end of the hilt), but that's it.

If I were to get more specific with the design, I did like that the movies wrote Godric's name on the sword, which is very much possible with a more historically accurate functional sword. Like these Viking/Anglo-Saxon swords from the early 10th century with gold and silver inlay on the blade and hilt (The sword is damaged but it's real):

So his name and maybe some other patterns could be written on the sword in silver and gold, which would look really cool, in my opinion.

Also, you could get even decorative on the pommel and crossguard while keeping it functional, including the addition of more precious metals like silver beyond just inlaying it.

Like this replica of 10th-century bronze Viking sword hilt:

Ceremonial swords (not meant for battle) could get even more ornate on the hilt. Like the Essen Sword gifted in 993 A.D that actually has precious stones decorating its pommel and crossguard:

My vision for Gryffindor's sword

Steel blade or magical goblin-forged silver (doesn't really matter) that is shaped like the blades above. Personally, I'm leaning towards an arming sword design, with blade inlays of silver and gold that write the name Gryffindor along with some other magical imagery of lions or dragons.

The hilt would be made of silver (or covered in silver) and have one large ruby on the pommel and/or multiple rubies like in the sword pictured above along with gold inlays. I also imagine the crossguard ending with little lion heads, kinda like the little dragons on this crossguard (The date on this sword is debated to be anywhere between the 8th century to the 13th century, but they could create hilts like this in the 11th century):

The hilt would have a wrap of leather so there would be a better grip for fighting. No way is Gryffindor carrying a ceremonial sword that he can't use. I think said leather should be painted red.

[pendragonsclotpole]

succession but bruce wayne is 45 and tired of having to attend pointless board meetings when he’d much rather be plotting how to get rid of all the stupid money he has (he’s tried everything, invested all of his funds into gotham, secretly funded the justice league and hid it from his tax returns in hopes that the irs would bust him. spoiler: they don’t, they consider his anonymous donations to be charity AND WRITE HIM TAX BREAKS. he’s even given everyone at WE a living wage, offered free daycare, amazing healthcare, in hopes of making running WE so expensive it drives down profits, but all it does it ramp of productivity and stock prices. he’s in too deep. let one of his children handle it pls).

candidate #1: dick grayson-wayne, bruce wayne’s eldest boy, former cop, circus acrobat, college dropout and style icon (TM). he immediately takes himself out of the running when a pap keeps calling him “richard” and he shouts back “dick.” that’s his name, but no one cares. also his pics from his mullet era resurface. the world is never the same again and the board summarily agrees he’s too divisive.

candidate #2: jason todd-wayne. initially the main contender when alleged footage of him breaking into a very important wayne warehouse leaks. he’s shouting “reclaim the means of production.” wayne enterprise stock falls but the internet is in favor. he’s unfortunately taken out of the running as all legal records indicate—he’s dead? but there’s cute footage of a 13 year old jason todd ardently defending the historical accuracy and superb writing of jane austen’s pride and prejudice. he loudly proclaims he’ll marry mr. darcy at the end. his candidacy remains very popular and the internet starts publishing memes about converting to satanism and practicing necromancy to revive jason todd-wayne.

candidate #3: tim drake. a popular front runner for the old guard of gotham as tim’s also the heir of the drake fortune. unfortunately, he runs away screaming every time someone comes up to him asking about the possibility of taking over WE full time. a major scandal breaks out when he’s caught buying something in a shady alleyway, and people are convinced he’s another partying rich boy. until the full footage leaks and it’s revealed he was buying coffee beans from a barista in the alleyway behind a newly opened coffee shop. multiple coffee shops then make posts online that yes, bruce wayne has called each of them and offered them copious sums of money to NOT serve tim drake or anyone representing tim drake caffeinated drinks after 5pm and before 5pm. many of the videos feature framed photographs of fake wanted posters featuring a very tired looking tim. tim, on a caffeine withdrawal posts a tiktok ranting about the injustice of tyrannical parents think this energy:

and the hashtag save tim wayne trends.

candidate #4: damian wayne. except as a twelve year old he’s not really in the running, except he’s the only wayne by blood so some members of the board are gunning for him. one of them kidnaps him, huge mistake, and footage leaks of him chasing his kidnappers with a katana? appears. he’s officially out of the running but it also fuels calls for bruce to be liberated so he can actually parent his children. joke’s on them, damian’s damianess is 99% thanks to richard grayson.

candidate #5: cassandra cain-wayne. she takes herself out of the running but she’s a dark horse because everyone loves her youtube channel Cass Cayne and her business decisions for brand deals are top tier. bruce makes background appearances and the internet learns cass is def the favorite.

candidate #6: stephanie brown. she’s not a wayne? people think? are 99% sure? but like she’s always there? she dated tim drake? maybe? she calls bruce dad!

[silvernmoonlace]

I mean, dresses can be very practical if they're made well but still, I somewhat agree. There's only so much you can do in below-knee dresses with puffy skirts. Women's sportswear in the 19th century did exist, but mostly in the later part of the century (I'm kind of unsure tho), when skirts started getting narrower again.

Also, it's not historically accurate. Tangled takes place just before Frozen, which takes place in ~1843. I assume then that Vat7K takes place in ~1845, and dresses back then did NOT look like Nuru's dress, even after excusing the heavy creative liberties that Tangled the Series usually takes. Nuru's outfit looks like someone took a dress from the 1820s, cropped it, and added sheer fabric and a few 18th century details. The high waistline here would have started dropping lower during the 1830s, and by the '40s it'd be practically at the natural waist.

Additionally, Nuru's dress looks very different from the Kotoans' dresses depicted in TTS S3 Ep7: Beginnings (Koto is commonly considered to be the Air Kingdom in Vat7K). This episode would have taken place very close in timing to Tangled, so around 1840. The Kotoans' dresses look pretty good in terms of historical accuracy and also in terms of differentiating them from other kingdoms. However, they would not have changed that dramatically to the style that Nuru's dress is, in the span of just 4-5 years after which Vat7K takes place.

edit: I often give her an alternate outfit when I draw her. However this is usually still a dress, although less sparkly, because I don't think the Trials are all that physically taxing. I've seen that a lot of ppl hc Nuru as lesbian, so imo it would be cool to see her in menswear too, just to try out that aesthetic.

Lastly, please note that I am in no way an expert and literally just a kid with a special interest on fashion history, so take my words with several grains of salt. I may sound 100% confident here, but the things I say might still be wrong. I would also like to acknowledge that historical accuracy was never the point of Disney shows, but it's fun to analyse them like it was. Thanks for reading through my silly rant/infodump 🌿🐛

(making this a non-reblog post because I want attention; OG post by @foursthemagicknumber)

Image references below so you know what I'm talking about (please read image descriptions).

[lykegenia]

A: That sword did not come into common usage until the 14th century and isn't weighted properly for use from horseback. Why are those cuisse plates from the 16th century. Where is the priest sanctifying this engagement. Victory is not achieved through points. It is astounding that man has lasted this long, his form is terrible, look at that footwork, the Harleian Manuscript clearly states -

F, wearing rubber elf ears and sipping mead out of a plastic tankard with a straw: Can't you just switch off and enjoy the show?

A: You are doing this on purpose.

At the biannual Renaissance Festival having my biannual thoughts of A Du Mortain pointing out inaccuracies and having to be held back from correcting the joust

[batcastlesociety]

poorly constructed netflixvania rant under the cut,,, and yes i will be using capital letters for once! don't question it.

small warning because my rant is all over the place and by no means professional. i'm still relatively new to castlevania and may or may not get a few things wrong,,, sorry, if i do! 🙇🏻‍♂️ i plan on adding more to this later to make it seem less like alphabet soup, if you will.

Obviously, I'm aware that I'm a tad late to the whole "netflixvania ranting" thing, but honestly, I really don't care if I'm late or if this gains traction somehow or not. I just want to put this out there and get this OUT.

Now, I'd say that I'm awfully new to the Castlevania community itself. I'm a minor, so it's not like I grew up playing the games when they came out. 💀 Hell, I actually found out about Castlevania through watching its Netflix adaptation. But honestly, when I got Smash Bros Ultimate and found out about Richter and Simon, then doing further research and finding out about the games themselves, I'd say I abandoned the show immediately after that. Like, immediately. The games just interested me MUCH more!

Netflixvania is just... boring. It feels uncanny. Not canon, of course, just.. uncanny. Weird. Honestly, I feel horrible considering the large amount of people that actually LIKE Netflixvania compared to the games and say it's better, or even not have heard of the games in the first place! It's so stupid, when you compare the games and show.

Honestly, comparing the show to the games is... wild. I've seen people say that "oh, yeah netflixvania SUCKS, buuuut the first season is still badass!!!" Like... no, buddy... no... Netflixvania refuses to adapt Castlevania from the very start. The get-go, if you will. The very first season of this wretched show starts off completely off the rails. Not even the first season is above "sub-par".

The games have an immersive, charming, compelling storyline with a bunch of really well-constructed lore, at least in my opinion. I absolutely LOVE the whole plot of a massive feud going on between mortals who have to start a bloodline to fight this immortal Big Bad, and their reactions, their bad reputation with the Transylvanian townspeople despite the fact that the Belmont clan is pretty much the only thing keeping the former alive, and much more.

Anyway, back to this godawful adaptation.

First off, the goddamn showrunner of Netflixvania, Warren Ellis, literally CUT OUT A CHARACTER from the VERY VIDEO GAME THAT HE WAS ADAPTING INTO A SHOW, just because he thought that the character's name "sounded stupid", and that having a "pirate" character apparently wouldn't make sense, because ooh romania is a landlocked country!!! YOU IMBECILE. GRANT DANASTY IS NOT EVEN A PIRATE.💀💀💀 That was a mistranslation, for crying out loud! Isn't Grant a thief??? Not a pirate??? Also, who gives a shit if he even was a pirate?! This is the same adaptation that turned Trevor 'FUCKING' Belmont into a stumbling drunkard and Alucard into a horse-faced sex object. Everyone else is out-of-character enough by themselves! Who CARES if there's one single """pirate""" character??? This is the same show that has mages and Devil Forgemasters and, oh, let's not forget; FUCKING VAMPIRES??? This is a fantasy setting!! Why would you deny a canon character his chance in the spotlight for the sake of historical accuracy in a fictional world like this??

Besides, as aforementioned, Grant wasn't even a pirate in the first place! Ergo, it wouldn't matter if the story took place in a landlocked country or not!

Anyway, next point. Still about the characters, though. Mostly how they talk. Almost very single word these characters say is emphasized with a few "fuck"s and/or "shit"s, "bloody hell"s, etc., ESPECIALLY with Trevor. It's as if they're using curse words to sound more witty or mature, which is literally one of the first (and frankly, most obvious) of Red Flags for Horrendous Adult Media. In my opinion, at least. I just don't understand the reason why. I don't recall any of the Castlevania games having a single curse word in them (correct me if I'm wrong on that bit), but the games were still marketed for more mature audiences, too! You don't need profane language and a few splashes of vomit to make a compelling story for adults. Really, truly.

Back on that bit, it feels as if the writers REALLY wanted to make Trevor really witty. A bit of a whimsical jokester. Which, by the by, also if I recall correctly, isn't what his personality is really like at all. At least, not for the most part. In Curse of Darkness, Trevor was definitely a bit witty and cunning, but he also had a pretty damn big ego. He was confident, blunt and hotheaded. He's an arrogant bastard. CoD Trevor is intimidating as well. However, he's also honorable and likeable. Just a neat little guy.

Netflixvania Trevor, on the other end, is... odd. He's aloof, cynical, still having a bit of arrogance, but I don't know. It didn't feel like Trevor. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe I'll come up with something better someday else.

Well, now that I'm mostly rambling about Trevor now, I think I should talk about his actual outward design as well. Truly, none of the members of the Netflixvania cast have retained any of their ingame designs, at least for the most part. Except for Alucard, of course, but I'll mention that a bit more later. I'll only talk about the main trio (RIP Grant Danasty, you were never nasty and will be here in spirit...) and their designs right now.

Starting off with Treffy himself. His design is... a bit odd. Now, I feel as if it's his eye that irks me the most. Let me just pull up some visual aids for this one:

THIS is Netflixvania Trevor. I apologize in advance for the low-quality PNG I've just slapped here.

Anyway, look at his eye. It has a scar on it. Keep that in mind.

THIS is Trevor's actual, ingame design for the game that was supposed to be adapted correctly, and there's no sign of any eye injury here.

And in Trevor's CoD design, he ALSO has a scar... but this isn't all that similar to his DC design, either.

Personally, I feel as if Netflixvania Trevor looks more like Judgement Trevor, than anything...

You can see the scar on his eye (IGNORING the outfit...), but even then, JuD Trevor still has an eyepatch. Netflixvania Treffy does NOT have an eyepatch. These are just differences in design, mind you, i know absolutely nothing about Judgement itself.

Anyway, Treffy (i'll just be calling him that from now on) looks like a weird mix between JuD Trevor, because of the hair and body structure, and CoD Trevor, due to the visible scar, I guess.

...Which is even worse, because it just goes to show how much the creators of Netflixvania really deviated from the source material. Maybe I'm just fucking blind over here, but really I see no similarities between Treffy and actual DC Trevor. Except, maybe, like, the boots, but really?

Now, on to the rest of the party: (except for my boy Grant, who got fucking excluded...)

Sypha actually looks like this in DC:

She looks pretty different! Luckily, not the most different compared to what happened to my rotten soldier, my good time boy Trevor, but still quite different. Firstly, Sypha's face is covered, and her robes are quite big on her, and this was actually intentional!

For the record, if you haven't played DC, the whole reason why Sypha looks more boyish is because she was hiding her gender for the whole game in order to travel safely. Her true gender is only revealed at the end of the game. (Truly an iconic Samus Metroid moment you conjured up there, Konami.)

Anyway, this is Sypha's Netflix version.

Again, sorry for the weird pixel outline on the image. I didn't even edit these.

Anyway, luckily, this one isn't all that different, except the obvious fact that Sypha isn't hiding her gender in this one. Although, I still do definitely believe she was done dirty. I mean, look at that hair! Christ. I'm not sure why they didn't make Sypha hide her gender until the end like in the original game, but then again, a pretty concerning amount of canon events from DC and Castlevania as a whole I guess didn't make the cut, so I doubt it'd be wise to set the bar any higher than the floor.

Next up, oh no. Alucart. I'll be referring to his horse-faced counterpart as this, because although his design is still game-accurate... It was for the wrong game.

This is his Netflix design:

See, it's okay. It's a biiiit inaccurate to his SoTN version... (for SoTN swag, see here) but! This isn't a SoTN adaptation!!! THIS, chaps, chapesses, and chapsticks is supposed to be for Dracula's Curse! and this is Alucard's DC design:

See? Now, this is just completely different! In this version, Alucard definitely gives off traditional, pop culture vampire vibes, definitely taking after his father in this one. But Alucart... Poor Alucart... he's just an odd mix of SoTN and.. not SoTN. It's literally just his SoTN self, but in a more revealing outfit with random ass belts. It's as if they simply went on a quick Google adventure and looked no further for Alucart's to-be design. But seriously, why exactly are they showing his bare chest here? Why is he muscular? Huh?????

... These redesigns are... something else, that's for sure! Of course, I know that with every adaptation, there's bound to be some changes, but with Netflixvania, there are a LOT of changes, and absolutely none of them are necessary.

For one, characters like Godbrand and Lenore were never in the games! The writers just slapped in some random OCs and scrapped an actual, canon character for petty reasons. They also nerfed Hector because of a behind-the-scenes argument between writers. They let their own pettiness ruin a show. Hell, Warren Ellis himself didn't even know anything about Castlevania. He just took everything from secondhand sources! It's not professional or sane.

I honestly didn't even watch the full show myself. I probably should, so maybe I can edit this rant a bit. Anyway, I only watched S1 and a bit of S2. Honestly, I have no idea why they didn't just stop the show when Dracula got pounded into the ground for the umpteenth time. There wasn't any real need to continue the show for even more seasons. Just... I don't know. It's really weird??? The show just seems... boring. Like, seriously. What's even the point, at that point? Our favorite three stooges Johnny Test'ed Drac into oblivion, just as they needed to do, so why continue? It just seems as if they're milking it.

...Yeah i don't know how to continue this. In summary, play the games instead. Watch let's-plays, if you can. As I mentioned earlier, this rant may not be too professional or well-written, and I apologize if I mixed anything up. I plan on adding more to this later, but right now, my hands are getting numb q(╥﹏╥)p

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

what type of youtubers would the trolls be? Karkat would definitely make rants and reviews of romance movies, Kanaya would make makeup or fashion tutorials, Sollux has an IT channel he made so people stop bugging him (nobody ever bothers checking it instead of asking him)

quick spitballed ideas bc this is such a cute prompt

aradia - reviews of inaccurate halloween decoration skeletons. theyre not rated on anatomical accuracy but by how much swag they have. most of her other videos are short clips of her livevlogging her day and telling short stories, but shes funny and witty so they do numbers. very low effort and low cost, but shes having fun.

tavros - CARD PACK UNWRAPPING. guy who in no way can afford his hobby but keeps getting these card packs for his channel. surprisingly relaxing to listen to while you have him minimized in another tab while you do something else. he goes over each card in the deck and their effects as well as rarity.

sollux - basically what you said. IT guide on walking through common computer problems. horrible mic quality, but really helpful information.

karkat - ABSOLUTELY would be a movie reviewer. no facecam but for whatever reason has CRISP mic quality. somehow NEVER peaks his mic despite all the screaming he does. he loves media analysis and getting pissed off over fandom drama so hed probably also do breakdowns of scandals in fandom spheres, and somehow almost getting sued.

nepeta - SPEEDPAINTS. and like. flipnote hatena style amvs. obviously very amateur but its a very cute art style and she has no concept of copyright infringement.

kanaya - makeup tutorials and fashion reviews. would definitely be like that one youtuber who reviews the accuracy of historical fiction dresses in film and tv. everytime the virgin mothergrub is in the background of her videos her comments are spammed with "MOTH MOM REAL"

terezi - animated shitposts. like. grinchs ultimatum, garfielf, shit like that. REALLY bright colors and shitty linework with windows moviemaker transitions. no one knows who she is and shes never done a face reveal so shes a total enigma. there are deep web theories that her videos are anti-empire propaganda.

vriska - flarping tutorials. genuinely. she goes over mechanics, spells, class breakdowns, even shares stories of her own flarp campaigns. VERY passionate about it and kind of has an asshole youtuber persona. posts an apology video like once a month then goes on like nothing happened. replies to every mean comment.

equius - weightlifting videos. dead silent. just grunting and metal clanking. no editing. addresses every comment in every video. lots of heavy breathing. very uncomfortable. almost like performance art in how desolate it feels.

gamzee - cooking videos. its as bad as it sounds.

eridan - showing off everything in his hive and talking about it. his guns. his outfits. ranting about pollution. each video is an hour long. its mostly just him complaining or bragging about the stuff he owns.

feferi - has a live feed of her cuttlefish pen going constantly. posts animal care videos. posts music. does challenges. her youtube is kind of an inconsistent mish-mash of content but one thing remains: you will watch her cuttlefish.

[wonderlands-ass]

I can't decide if I think Jedediah can or can't read.

Like the idea that he can't read explains the part of secret of the tomb (3rd movie) where he and Octavius are in Pompeii, only Octavius even bothered trying to read the sight and he'd didn't even question it nor try to read it himself.

But then again in his real life (in 1800s) he learned to write and learned latin, so he can most definitely read with that argument.

But that also leaves the idea , does he have the capability to understand Octavius when he speaks latin?

That does give the idea what if Octavius talks with some of his most trusted soldiers or something, about how he's starting to develop a crush or already is in love with Jedediah. And Jed just doesn't know how to deal with that.

Considering the fact we stick with the historical accuracy, Jed might also have some not great thoughts with homosexuality, in his life Jed was pretty religious with a pretty *high* moral compass.

(please correct me if ik wrong about something here).

But this is just with the thought of Jedediah, I've not researched Octavius enough to really make q rant about him.... Yet

So yeah... Thoughts

[thelemoncoffee]

LARPer Kokichi is funny to me- mostly because of the hypocrisy involved thanks to his interactions with Himiko- but another aspect i love is him being a nerd about it

i think Kokichi, as a person who i hc loves to know everything he can about a subject and will get fustraited if he can't access or understand it, would get balls deep into costuming accuracies for larping.

this can result in very entertaining interactions with not just Himiko, but Tsumugi and Korekiyo as well. i can see him holding back a whole nerd rant because Tsumugi as a cosplayer doesn't focus on hystorical accuracy and frequently gets costuming details wrong, and i can also see him struggling to play dumb around Kiyo so he doesn't learn he's also well read on historical stuff.

it's so simply but so funny to me. Kokichi is a nerd at heart, he is full of knowledge, but thanks to the persona he chose to make for himself he can't be a nerd openly and now must suffer when his classmates with similar interests talk about his nerd stuff- especially when they're wrong about his nerd stuff

[eerna]

bridgerton has its many faults but i do enjoy the string quartet renditions of modern songs and my ideal montague siblings tv show would have a similar soundtrack style too but alas the netflix regency mess beat em to it and now it’s kinda their brand thing oh well (also yess felicity praise on your previous anon response!)

Oh god so sorry for the rant I am about to give, absolutely no shade, but music is one of my biggest bones to pick with Bridgerton... I think the original soundtrack does well to emulate a historical romcom, but their existing historical choices and the string quartets grate my ears so badly. They have a tendency to use old music, but from late 19th century, or even 20th century, which are styles that absolutely DO NOT FIT the regency era. Then there's the quartets, which are straight up pop music but because it's violins they mask it as historical. It's basically the same principle the rest of the show goes by, "let's put a minimal attempt at historical aesthetic over a contemporary show", so I can't say it doesn't fit THIS SHOW SPECIFICALLY, but boy is it super annoying to me personally.

However you are SO RIGHT that a similar style could fit MS. In fact, that last anon make me realize that MS is MY Bridgerton, a silly historical romance that talks about family and societal expectations and isn't super worried about historical accuracy. A soundtrack of pop songs arranged as 18th century music would ABSOLUTELY SLAP, like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I can even see it featuring stuff like those mashups that were popular a few years back, Vivaldi was basically born to be remixed with high-energy 21st century music. Interpolation can also be the way to go. OH there are SO MANY options WAAAHHH this is so exciting ty for putting this thought into my head

[madwolfxiii]

Season 3 of Bridgerton. Holy shit. I loved it. As a fan of not just the show, but also the books, I am excited with some of the changes they are throwing in. But everyone on the Bridgerton fb group I am in are not. Should I be shocked since it's people on fb??? But I just had to share my little rant review that I posted in the group for all of the people being salty. Spoilers below!

What can I say about those final 4 seasons of Bridgerton except WOW. And it's a good wow. I was upset that it was split up but the season was still amazing. Romancing Mr. Bridgerton has been my favorite of the books (so far). And I feel like they really did it justice. They had the main story beats while still doing something different.

Moving onto the Francesca stuff. You know what. I am actually excited about the change to Michaela. At first when people were spoiling it I was just like, why do they have to do that? I feel like genderbending an established character is just lazy. But I can forgive it because I think it would definitely make their story interesting! Now I could be saying this because I haven't finished her book. I started it before watching season 3 and just got to where John died and Francesca had her miscarriage. So I am not so invested in her and Michael as people who have read the book and may consider it their favorite. But I can see why people would be bummed with a major change to their favorite couple.

But I HIGHLY disagree with everyone saying that the show will be unwatchable now. It's still the same story. Just Michael is Michaela and that will just present more obstacles for them. I do realize a big part of Francesca's storyline is her infertility and wanting children. That really doesn't need to change just because she falls in love with a woman. She can still have that struggle. They can show it during her marriage with John before he dies. Maybe they really struggle to get pregnant then they do and he dies and she loses the baby. Michaela can help her through that and they fall in love and maybe adopt!

But before I hear the "well their relationship can't be public because it wasn't allowed back then." Are you really looking for historical accuracy with Bridgerton? Mixed couples were DEFINITELY not allowed back then but the Queen is poc. Bridgerton is presented as like an alternate timeline to history. The real Queen Charlotte was not of color. None of the couples in the books are mixed. But Shona created this world where it is accepted in earlier times then real life. Not without scrutiny and struggle, obviously, as we see in Queen Charlotte when skin color is commented on throughout the season. But some people are okay with that inaccuracy but put their foot down with a main couple being a gay one? On the topic of them being accepted and being able to be public, well that may be part of the storyline and maybe the Queen helps them out. In the novelization of Queen Charlotte, her and George knew about Brimsley and Reynolds and they were okay with it. I'm sure the Queen would have found a way to let them be together if the story wanted to go that direction. Sadly we never found out what happened to Reynolds.

Also people are saying that Michael is supposed to be one of the hottest love interests and their book is the steamiest. Uh it still can be. Michaela looks pretty hot to me and I am as straight as they come. If seeing two girls be intimate on screen makes you uncomfortable then that's your problem. I am ready to see Franny get down and dirty with her lady love.

Also I totally saw Benedict as bi since season 1. He always came off as a little bi curious and I was so happy that he finally accepted it. Good for him for having a threesome. The only complaint I had about that particular storyline was how we would be watching some Whistledown drama then it would suddenly cut to the threesome. It was sort of jarring, as hot as the threesome was. But I thought it was cool seeing Benedict explore his sexuality because like I said, in actual history that was not allowed. But Bridgerton isn't following actual history to a T. It's paving its own way and I am fine with that. With the mention of the masquerade ball next season, Benedict will FINALLY get his love story. Maybe Sophie would be down for a threesome. Who knows.

Also to all the people STILL saying Polin was unconvincing...you need your vision checked because their love and their happy ending had me in tears. I was really happy with how well it did follow the book while also changing it up enough to make it interesting. Because if I want the beat by beat story of the book, I will just read that again. That's the thing people. WE STILL HAVE THE BOOKS. They are not going anywhere. This show will not "ruin" them.