#rain is pouring down but dont cry . it will dry..

[y-ves]

back 2 u @yeritos

[mintedwitcher]

I had a terrible awful no good very bad scene pop into my head and so now I must inflict it on you all.

(bucktommy, MCD)

Its a miserable fucking day. Gloomy and humid, with the promise of a storm on the horizon. He's got a flat tire and he's pulled over to the side of the road to change it. He thinks it'll be fine, he's got time before the storm hits. Time to get home. Time to see that gorgeous smile and those big blue eyes.

He's got time.

The storm comes out of nowhere. Drenches him in a minute flat. It's the kind of storm you can't even breathe through. Hard, heavy rain. Earthshaking thunder. Blinding lightning. His coat is soaked through in a matter of minutes, water rushing over his head. It doesn't feel like rain. It feels like he's under a faucet. Just constant water pouring down on him. His grip on the wrench slips as he tries to fasten the last lugnut on the tire. It's the last one, come on, he's so close to being done. Then he can get back in his warm, dry car, and get the hell out of here.

His grip slips again and this time, the momentum makes him tip forward, whacking his head against the tire well and his fist into the asphalt. He swears and shakes out his fist. That's not great. His boyfriend is going to worry. He always does. Those big blue eyes go so soft and concerned, his mouth tilts down, his brows cinch together. It's miserable.

He loves it. Loves him. There's a little velvet box in his car right now, hidden in the bottom of his duffel bag.

The last lugnut goes tight, and he sighs. He picks up the spare and throws it into the back seat. He'll worry about proper storage later. It doesn't matter right now.

He's still got time. They agreed on nine tonight. It's only a quarter til eight. He's got time. He opens the driver's door.

The headlights come out of nowhere and too late to react.

With a scream and a drawn out honk and the sickening crunch of metal-hitting-flesh-hitting-metal, all there is now is pain. Agony. Denial.

He's got time, right?

The car was so fast.

There's a woman in the rain now, screaming and sobbing into her phone as she stands over him.

"-out of nowhere-"

"-dont know, I think-"

"-y God he's still alive, you have to-"

He's... he's got time. Right?

Flashing red and blue. Sirens. More shouting. Thunder booms. Lightning flashes.

An ambulance. He knows what they look like. Seen enough of them. Worked in some too. Cleaned more than he can tell you.

He couldn't tell you his name now, if you asked.

He should've had time.

He's going to miss the movie.

Sterile, white, bright lights. A hospital.

No one's shouting now. Someone's crying. He can't turn to see who it is.

The slam of a door, a sudden hush.

"You don't need to be here, man."

"Yes I do."

A face hovers over his now. Those big blue eyes. That sad, concerned pinch in his mouth and across his brow. His eyes are shiny and wet. Is he crying? Why is he crying?

"Don't cry," he says, but it comes out garbled. Misshapen. Someone gasps. There's more crying.

"Don't try to talk," that sad, concerned mouth says. "You just sleep, okay? I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise."

"Thank you," he tries to say. Those big blue eyes go soft. He puts a hand to his face.

"Of course, Evan."

He closes his eyes. Tommy holds it together until the monitor flatlines.

They were supposed to have time.

[alexs-arcade]

hey idk if ur taking requests but i was wondering if u could do like a tasm! peter parker x m!reader where Y/N has a toxic household and goes to Peters house to stay the night a lot to escape his home and one night its rlly bad and one of them confesses feelings for the other?

I liked this request so much. I didn’t know if you wanted anything really specific so I how you like this. I'm so sorry this is late I've was busy and had to delay writing for a bit but thank you for being my first writing request.

Belonging

tasm!Peter Parker x m!reader

Warnings //TW & CW//: Abuse, vulgar language, child neglect, mentions of blood, manipulation, f-slur ! FEM ALLIGNED DNI I DONT WRITE THIS FOR YOU TO SEXUALIZE GAY RELATIONSHIPS!

Your earbuds were ripped out of your ears the sounds of screaming hits your ears.

"Are you listening brat!?!?! Jeez Y/n your father and I are talking to you use your damn ears!" Your stepmother screams in your face as your father smacks you hard outside the head.

You don't even move or dare look at either of them. You aren't scared you aren't hurt. You are angry but you know screaming back will only make them stay and scream at you longer. Heart racing you exhale and look at your hands trying not to scream back.

"I'm...sorry ma'am" you say head hung low as your stepmother pats you on the back.

"It's alright kid. You just need to listen. Now your father and I are going away for a week, so you'll be here alone. I want everything clean when we get home by then. there is ramen so don't ask to order out you don't want to be unhealthy. Also, If I see such as a piece of evidence that you brought a boy home you are out of here for good. F****t." She says in a fake tone of sincerity.

You nod and keep focus on the floor as you listen for their footsteps to leave your room and far enough away for you to close your door. Getting up from your desk and you abandoned your homework and music to sleep. You were hoping by tomorrow they will be gone, and you will have a nice weekend.

You were once again sitting at your desk finishing up the homework, your guardians oh so rudely interrupted last night, your phone buzzed, and you got the message you were dreading since life started to go south after your mother passed away.

I saw you have a boyfriend named Peter Parker. I want you and your shit gone before your father and I get home. You absolute disgrace to god! All my friends know I have a cursed and sinning son! said the message from your step-mother.

In quick thought you swiped off her contact and go straight to social media to see rumors that you were dating you one and only friend Peter Parker. Pictures of you siting alone together and giggling or where you are leaning on him when you passed out during science once. You were embarrassed, frustrated and so upset. You didn't know that to do. standing up and flinging your phone on your bed sliding on shoes and grabbing a coat you race for the door and booking it to Peters house. It was cold and pouring down rain not even your coat did any good on keeping you dry. Quickly reaching the block his house was on you saw him outside taking out the trash.

You yelled for him "PETER!" your voice broken from the tears and sobbing from all the overwhelming stress of the situation.

He looked up to see you and dropped the trash in the can and ran towards you. You look like you were in trouble or danger, and you truly weren't far from it. Peter didn't know you were a part of the LGBTQ+ community. What would he think? What if he found out you liked him through the rumors? Did he even know about the rumors? you stopped. everything was spinning the lack of a full meal due to your parents limiting what you eat and running made it worse. You stood there thinking panicking and crying non-stop. You didn't even know Peter was standing in front of you were so spaced out.

"Y/N? I need you to follow my breathing, okay?" He said taking your hand and put it on his chest and you mocked his Exhale and Inhale slowly.

You slowly followed his breathing. Your tears stopped flowing gradually. Taking a few more breaths before you noticed Peter was still holding your hand and your face flushed. You quickly pulled away and looked up and down the street before speaking.

"We need to speak about a serious rumor going around about us dating." You murmured avoiding looking Peter in the eyes.

"Oh. Well- I- come inside, I guess. Aunt May won't be home for a while so we can just sit in the living room." Peter replies leading you into the house and sitting you both down on the couch.

After a couple of minutes in silenced letting you fully recollect yourself. "So, what are the rumors you are talking about Y/n?" He speaks braking he silenced.

You steal a few more breaths of air before opening your mouth. "There is a rumor that...we are- dating." You tightly close your eyes anticipating the worst to happen.

Peter just chuckles. "It kind of makes sense with how we are always around each other. I can always tell them to sto-"

"What if I don't want them to stop!?!- I mean...shit" You didn't mean to say it. You were going to mention that your stepmother just kicked you out cause of the rumor and now you have nowhere to go but your brain had other plans.

Tears were making their way back to your eyes. How could you say that!?!? You know he would never like you like that. Your hands grab at the ends of your sleeves as you quickly get up to head for the door before you make a fool of yourself.

Peter leaps up as you try to rush for the door and webs it shut. You shoot your head towards Peter surprised that he was stopping you. He pulled you into a hug and rubbed circles on your back as you sobbed again.

"You know, I like you too Y/n. I just didn't want to lose you as a friend over feelings if you didn't feel the same." Peter whispers burring his face in your shoulder.

You decide to say what you planned before and acknowledge the confession once it is fully processed. "My stepmom saw the rumors and she is kicking me out...I'm so screwed."

Peter just held you tighter and keeps you calm before pulling away to kiss your forehead.

"Aunt May and I can let you stay here. I know it will be hard, but you at least would be away from them. I love you and I want you to know that I'm here for you. so just come stay with me." Peter says cradling your face wiping your stray tears.

you felt so safe.

you felt wanted.

you belonged.

[hotch-stufff]

Fluff #8, Angst #5 and Fluff #43 with Gibbs, please. The reader is in her late 20s, Gibbs and her got into a fight because the reader isn't sure about the age gap and Gibbs is trying to push her away because he's afraid of letting her in

Hard To Believe

gif by dwayne-pride

Pairing: Gibbs x reader

Warnings!: angst, slight pining, making out, kissing, crying, but ofc a fluffy ending

Prompts: Fluff #8 “I realized something.” “What?” “I love you”, Fluff #43 “Is it so hard to believe that I love you?", Angst #5 “I love you” “No you don’t

Author's Note: I know its not quite how you described, kinda switched to where reader pushes him away. Hope you still enjoy!!

-------------

Loving Gibbs was easy. It was too easy. Too easy to fall for him. Too easy to look at him and allow your heart to flutter. To easy to feel butterflies every time he brushed your arm. That was the easy part.

The hard part was hiding it. Or figuring out if or when you would tell him. The hard part was pretending. Pretending you didn't care, pretending he didn't matter to you.

And you didn't even know if he would feel the same. You were, considerably younger, 13 years to be exact. And people would say things. You shouldn't care what people think, but it could ruin Gibbs reputation, and that you cared about. So you wouldn't tell him. You couldn't tell him. And that was the hard part.

You never expected a relationship. But you definitely didn't expect him to show up at your door and confess his own feelings.

It had been a rainy night, very cliche. He knocked repeatedly on your door until you finally answered. You were shocked to see him there, drenched. You invited him inside, and took his jacket, hanging it to dry. And he sat on your couch, silent per usual. You sat there for a while before speaking up.

"Soo, you gonna tell me why you're here?" You said, trying to start a conversation.

"I'm not sure what to do here." Was his only response. He looked nervous, which was strange for Gibbs. He wasn't a nervous person. He was always put together and confident. But he wasn't wither of those right now. He was slumped over, thinking hard. He was fumbling with his hands. He looked so ... vulnerable.

"Gibbs, whats wrong? What happened?"

"I just, I realized something."

"What?"

"I love you." The words were spoken clearly, and confidently. You were taken aback. Shocked was an understatement. Seconds ticked by, and silence filled the room. The only noise was the rain hitting your roof. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for some type of response.

"W-what?" Was all you could muster up. His face fell. "What do you mean? You're not serious. You can't be serious."

"Is it so hard to believe that I love you?" He asked, his voice was quieter. Gibbs didn't express his feelings often. He was opening up to you, allowing himself to be vulnerable. But you couldn't give in, could you?

"Yeah." He hadn't expected that. "Gibbs, your 13 years older than me, your my boss." He froze. You knew he had to have taken this into consideration. Why was it not enough to stop him?

"I don't care. I love you Y/n." You could feel the tears gather. You two couldn't be together. He had already been through enough in life, he didn't need the judgment that would come from being with you.

"Well, I dont feel the same." You said, your heart breaking a little bit with each passing second.

"Yes you do." He stood up angrily. "You do, but your avoiding them." You sighed.

"Gibbs-" he cut you off.

"No, you love me too. I know you do y/n. I know because everytime you look at me, its the same look that I'm giving you. You blush anytime we are near each other. You're always there to make sure that I'm okay." Gibbs didn't speak a lot. He was a functional mute, as they say. But he sure as hell was saying a lot now. Saying a lot of truth. A truth you couldn't allow to happen. So you lied.

"Those are all things a good employee does." You really tried to make it as convincing as you could.

"Employee, really?" He paused "Bullshit." He stood there waiting for your response. He only needed one more push and he would be gone. "Why won't you just tell the truth?"

"That is the truth Gibbs! This would never work between us!"

"What is it? That we work together?" You didn't move a muscle. "That I'm a closed off person." He paused. "Is it that I'm older than you?!" You flinched slightly and he knew that was it. You needed him gone before you ended up telling him that you loved him too. You knew exactly what to say to push him away.

"I don't love you Gibbs. I can't even trust that you would be with me long before moving on again." That did it. In that moment you forgot why you were pushing him away, especially after seeing the pain in his eyes. It was there for only a moment, before they went blank. His face following soon after. He nodded his head, and walked out, slamming the door.

And you fell to the floor in tears. You had to do it. You couldn't be together. You couldn't. It wasn't right. You were young, he needed someone older, more mature. Someone who wouldn't add to his baggage. Someone who wouldn't add on to everything he's been through. You couldn't be together.

These were the words you repeated to yourself as you cried yourself to sleep.

* * *

The next day was hell. The next week was hell. Everything sucked. Gibbs was on a rampage, pissed off and pissing off everyone else. He avoided you at all costs. The most he talked to you, was when he barked an order. You expected that.

What you didn't expect was the guilt. You thought you were doing the right thing. Pushing him away was the right thing to do. So why did you feel so bad? Why did a pang of guilt hit your heart evertime you looked at him.

Why were you filled with guilt everytime you saw the frown that adorned his face. Or everytime he snapped at Tony, Ziva, Tim, and even Abby. The guilt was consuming you to a point that you could barely bare seeing him. You had been trying not to hurt him, but he was in more pain now that he would have been had you told him the truth.

Would it really be so bad? To love him. To be with him. You couldn't remember why you didn't tell him you loved him in the first place.

You had to tell him. If he never forgave you, that would have to be something you lived with. But you had to explain. You had to tell him the truth.

So this time, it was you showing up at his house. His open door policy was something you were grateful for because you aren't sure if he would have just slammed the door in your face had you knocked.

You found him in the basement, sanding away at a boat. A glass of Bourbon sitting on the bench. He looked ... bad. Tired and angry. You hated that it was all because of you.

"Gibbs." He spun around, glaring at you.

"The hell are you doing here." You gulped and took a step forward.

"I uh, I came t-to apolagize." You stuttered out.

"Get out." He barked at you.

"Gibbs, wait please." You begged. You would get on your hands and knees and beg if you needed to. You had to tell him.

"What?"

"I love you."

"No you don't." He didn't believe you. It wasn't surprising, you wouldn't have believed yourself either after everything you had said. So you began explaining, pouring everything out.

"Yes I do. So much. I know what I said was, awful and so wrong on so many different levels. And I'm sorry, I know you hate apologies, but I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm so much younger than you and I thought people would judge you. And I know its stupid, but I didn't want that to be another thing you had to go through. I didn't want to ruin your reputation. You carry enough baggage as it is, with the job and just everything. I couldn't add my own baggage to that. But this past week has been hell without you, and it makes me forget everything. You make me forget. And so I'm so sorry Gibbs, because I DO love you. I love you so fucking much." He let you finish your little speech, remaining silent.

And he stood there remaining silent for a good 5 minutes, before he was marching forward and slamming your lips together.

It had taken you aback, and you faltered slightly, allowing him to press you up against the boat. He pressed into you, lips moving together passionately. His nose bumping yours, your hair falling in your face. He lightly moved it away before deepening the kiss. His tounge fighting for dominance. You gave it to him with a small moan. You could barely focus on anything other than him. The kiss ... it was more than you could have ever imagined. And man had you imagined this moment. You had wanted this for so long.

"You're so stupid." He said, breaking away and pressing his lips down your neck.

"I know." He smiled against you, and bit down slightly on your skin. You let out a surprised gasp, and his lips were back on yours.

"I love you." You spoke against his lips. He pulled back so that just your noses were touching.

"Love you too." And he kissed you again, and again, and again. Leaving you with a night you would never forget.

-------------

Loved writing this. Let me know what you think!! Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[nealofer]

Rains in my city

I remember those years. Back when I would reach my office at 9.15 and leave the building at 4 in the afternoon. A clerical job meant my days were spent mostly adjusting my spectacles, staring at old files and tapping at my calculator. Looking back at it, i dont even remember exactly what i was calculating or keeping records of. Had i written poetry instead, it would have been a whole another story.

I had a nice view of the street and I could see my busstop too. Bus 118 was my daily ride. I liked it because it passed by a school playground.

'I should get down at this stop and walk home from here', I always thought when i rechead the playground busstop. I always thought I should but i never got off.

That day, i remember waking up to grey skies outside my window. I could feel the chill of the winds in my house. And being the only occupant there wasnt much i could do except hug the other pillow on bed. It could have been couple minutes or hours i do not know. But it was enough for me to pour down my emotions on the pillow and dry my eyes.

Solitude. It surely is a bliss sometimes. But othertimes...

I got dressed, wore my favorite green jacket and decided i should go to the sea. I really hoped it would drizzle.

Outside the art gallery there are some amateur artists who would sketch you. One such kid asked me if he could sketch me. I was flattered so i sat there on his little stool and saw him sketch me.

I didnt know they could sketch melancholy so well. I remember praying that the world didnt break this kids heart. He was a good kid and a genius artist.

I reached the sea atlast. And looked at her. And listened to her waves. She insisted that i join her. That i do not need to bear this heavy burden alone. But as always i just stood by her listning.

When i felt tired in my legs i went to the beach and sat at a spot. It began to drizzle then. I sat there. It was blissfull.

But i wasnt alone on that beach. At a distance, i saw another lonesome figure. Just like me unwilling to leave the sea.

As if sensing me look at her, she looked at me. Her's was an expression which was more of a cry for help. Or was it my own reflection i was seeing.

On far end i saw rays of sun pierce through the clouds and for the first time in many years, i felt, id be allright.

[galaxyofmyown]

can you do hotch with a reader with an age gap? maybe something to do with the song “dont stand so close to me” from the police

hello darling! here you go. i obviously aged the song up so she’s in higher education so as to not make her younger than 25 which is my usual rule of thumb. enjoyyyyyyyy! xo

aaron hotchner x reader - just a number

young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy

Aaron needs to stop letting himself get roped into this kind of thing. He’s much better suited for sitting behind a desk than standing in front of a classroom. But here he was anyway, at Virginia Commonwealth University, guest-lecturing for a Professional Ethics and Liability class. The professor was a friend of his from his prosecutor days and he owed her a favor. 

Despite Hotch’s general confidence surrounding his career, public speaking is not one of his favorite things. But he’s gotten good at faking it over the years, so his voice carries throughout the lecture hall confidently. There couldn’t be more than 30 people in the room considering the class was only open for people pursuing an M.S. in Criminal Justice. Perhaps this is why his eyes kept wandering back to you. Sitting third row left, dutifully taking notes.

At first, there didn’t seem to be anything special about you. Sure, you were beautiful, but all the girls in the lecture hall were objectively good looking. You weren’t even dressed to impress, lounging in your seat with leggings and a big sweatshirt on. But you had a wiser-than-your-years air about you, and you seemed extremely interested in the subject matter. Hotch couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t tear his gaze away every time you wrapped your lips around the straw of your iced coffee. His interest in you nagged at him. You couldn’t possibly be older than 25. He’d never felt so attracted to someone so young before. Although not explicitly wrong, it did conflict with his personal morals.

she wants him so badly, knows what she wants to be

Yeah, you had a crush on Aaron Hotchner. Despite having only known of his existence for about an hour and 45 minutes, you were under his spell. He’s more charming and well-spoken than most of your professors, and they do this shit for a living. The way he carries himself, the way he moves his hands when gesturing to the screen. It was… hot. But it was more than that. He was smart and competent and his credentials were certainly impressive. And you weren’t the only one to notice. There were many people in your class that looked as interested in him as you felt.

“That’s all I have for you today. Does anybody have any questions?” Hotchner asks the PowerPoint goes black. A few people raise their hands, including yourself. You actually do have a question, but you’re filled with nerves as he looks at you.

“Yes, you in the third row. What’s your name?” He asks. You feel hot. 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), sir.” God, he hates that you called him that. Or rather, he hates how much he loves it. You ask your question about how attorney allocations often lead to unjust decisions in court. Agent Hotchner smiles as you speak, causing one girl to turn to you and roll her eyes. Oops?

her friends are so jealous, you know how bad girls get  sometimes it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet

“That’s a great question, (Y/N).” Hotchner says (earning you eye roll #2) before spouting off an answer, which you scribbled down in your notebook. He answers a few more questions, and you notice that he didn’t ask anyone else for their name. But that doesn’t mean anything right? As your professor joins Agent Hotchner in the front to thank him for speaking, you realize that you’re never going to see this man again.

And frankly, that’s unacceptable.

You need to say something to him before he leaves, so you stay in your seat as the other students either leave or walk up to talk to Professor Ramirez or Hotchner. Many students are attempting to mask their blatant flirtation with a question, which, like, power to them, but you still felt the distant and unfamiliar sting of jealousy. You don’t miss the way the Agent keeps looking at you, however, which fuels your barely existent confidence. You walk up to Hotchner right after the last student leaves, and boldly stick your hand out. He shakes it and the warmth of his hand seems to move through your entire body.

“It’s (Y/N), correct?” He asks. You nod.

“That’s correct, Agent.” Hotchner smiles at you.

“Please, you can call me Hotch.” He says.

“Alright, Hotch. I just wanted to say that it’s great to meet you. An honor, really.” “It’s great to meet you too.” He says, and if you didn’t know better you would say his tone was FLIRTATIOUS, “Are you interested in working for the FBI?” He asks and you can’t help but laugh.

“God, no.” You say, which makes him raise an eyebrow.

“No?”

“Sorry, sir, no offense, but I really don’t trust the government enough to work for them.” You say, and try to contain your smile when he laughs.

“Fair enough. So what is it you want to be doing?”

“I’ll tell you, but you can’t laugh at me-”

“I would never laugh at you.” He interrupts, and you smile.

“Okay, then. I want to be a private investigator.” Hotch looks surprised, but he nods in approval.

“I can respect that. Although you’ll make plenty of enemies that way.”

“Hm. That’s okay with me. I have a lot of friends.”

“So you’ll strike a balance.”

“Exactly.”

You stand in front of him for a second, calculating your next move.

“Is there something you needed to ask me?” He asks, looking into your eyes. You almost chicken out, but then-

“Yes, actually. Um, this is a bit weird, and I’ve never done this before, but… would you maybe want to get dinner with me sometime?” You ask, forcing yourself not to break eye contact. Hotch’s face remains controlled, and you can’t gauge his reaction.

temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). You’re lovely and seem like a great person, but I don’t think that would be appropriate.” He says, and you deflate (although you try not to show it). Trying not to cry from embarrassment, you smile at him and nod.

“I understand, Agent. Have a good night!” You say, staying as positive as possible. Hotch looks at you with pity, which is the last thing you need.

“I really am sorry, (Y/N).” He says.

“Don’t be. Have a good night.” You say, and you’re out the door before he can respond.

You walk to the exit and groan when you see that it’s pouring rain outside.

“Shit.” You say, digging around in your bag for your umbrella, but you can’t find it anywhere.

“Fuck.”

Usually, you’d walk to your apartment from school, but you can barely see the street in front of you with all the rain. You jog over to the bus stop and nearly collapse onto the seat, ignoring everyone around you. Today sucks.

wet bus stop, she's waiting, his car is warm and dry

Hotch pulled out of his reserved parking space carefully. He’s glad he thought to take an umbrella today. He turns up the heat in his car and breathes in the warm air. He can’t stop thinking about you. Was he an idiot for turning you down? It felt like the right thing to do, but now he just feels stupid. He groans as he pulls up at a stoplight. Driving through Richmond at night and in this weather was going to be a nightmare. He looks to his right and sees you, soaking wet and miserable. God. He’s pulling the car over before he can even weigh his options. There’s no way he was going to make you take the bus this late without any protection. He rolled down his window.

“(Y/N)!” He called, startling you. You look up, your expression a mix of hopefulness and embarrassment.

“Yeah?” You ask tentatively. Hotch falters for a moment, then says,

“I can drive you home.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay I’ll just-”

“I’m worried about you. Get in if you want. It’s really no problem.” 

You hesitate, and Hotch can practically hear your conflicting thoughts. But you get in the car nonetheless, and holy shit. He has heated seats.

“Thank you.” You say as you close the door. You immediately feel better, the warmth of the car soothing you, the leather seats making you feel less guilty for being soaked in this obviously expensive car.

“It’s no problem. Where should I go?”

You give him directions, his rumbling voice and soft demeanor making you feel so comfortable. The drive only takes 5 minutes, and suddenly you wish you lived farther away.

“It’s this one.” You say, and he parallel parks flawlessly. Hot.

“I’ll walk you up.” He says, reaching for his seatbelt. You put your hand over his before he can unclick it, and he looks up at you.

“Don’t please. I’ll be fine.” You rush out, not eager for him to see the inside of your shabby apartment building. He relents, but before you can pull your hand away he grabs it, softly stroking it with his thumb. It’s an awkward angle, but it makes your heart race nonetheless.

“Hotch?” You ask quietly, and he’s pulled out of his trance. He pulls his hand away and turns back to face the front.

“Sorry. Uh, good night.” He says, and you sigh.

“I’m 25, Hotch. I have a full-time job-”

“(Y/N)-”

“No. Let me say this, please. I have a full-time job and I’m taking night classes for my Master’s. I have my own insurance. I can vote, drink, rent a car. My brain is fully developed. You aren’t my boss. You aren’t my professor. You’re just a guy. I’m just a girl. It’s that simple. If you aren’t interested just say that and I’ll get out right now. But if this is about my age, or your age, then I think you’re making a mistake.” You say, your voice growing stronger with each word. Hotch looks at you, but his guard isn’t up this time. You know exactly what he’s thinking.

“Kiss me, Hotch.” You say. Hotch smiles.

“Call me Aaron.”

“Okay, how many times are you gonna change your name because-”

Aaron pulls you to him before you can finish your thought. His lips are softer than you expected, and he kisses like a guy with 20 years more experience than you. And it’s amazing.

“Wow.” You say as he pulls away. He presses his forehead against yours, and he’s full-on grinning now.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to your door?” He asks, and you can’t help it: You giggle like a schoolgirl.

don't stand so close to me

[voidselfshipp]

Coping

Cw: buttloads of angst

Ok to rb

A/n: this happends right after nite/owl and silk/spectre break rors/chach out of prison.

Thunder struck the heavens, it lights up the Sky for a brief moment,the rain poured without mercy on the outside world.

Jerico held the trenchcoat close to herself, it still smelled like him, she sobs heavily hugging the piece of clothing tighter.

Hearing the Window rattle, she turns to it, and gasps, there he was, she knew his buddies would break him out.

She unlocked the Window and he came in,with no time to waste jerico hugged rorschach, she cries against his shoulder hugging him tightly.

The Man hugged her back, letting out choked sobs,before going to bed they lock the Window and draw the curtains,they sit togheter,hes finally in some normal clothes,comfier ones.

He hasnt taken off his mask yet, her hand presses against his cheek and leans in--i missed you...I was so scared...

He hugged her pressing his body against hers, trying to make his brain understand that he was there, that she was there.

--I missed you too...--his forehead pressed against hers--i can finally hold you again...

His mask tints with his running tears.

Figuring that they had taken away his mask,his face, for a really long time, jerico caressed his cheeks,her hand making contact with the cloth.

The way he screamed when he was caught haunted her, hed agreed to put a microphone on him just in casé he needed backup, and his screams haunted her.

Just remebering the way he said "my face! Give me back my face!" His heartbreaking scream that seemed to rip out of his throat, she could practially Hear the slight tears forming on his eyes.

It must of been hell for him, withouth the mask he felt vulnerable, weak.

Shes crying again,feeling what he felt then, rorschach noticed, pulling her closer to him.

Her hands go down his shoulders to his biceps, down his forearms to his hands,she puts them against her chest--can you feel how much my heart missed you?, how much it ached for you?

He nodds,silent as a grave, his hands grabs hers now, holding them.

They stare at eachother,and though she couldnt see his eyes, she knew they were teary, a soft sniff confirmed her theory.

She didnt dare to speak, her brows fuerrow and her nose scrunches as she breaks down crying, those feelings of helplessness, dread and fear he must've felt there, how alone he would have felt.

For rorschach there wasnt much he could do, or knew what to do against his partners strong emotions, he knew that she felt what he felt, she saw what he saw, and in a way lived what he lived.

The fact that she was crying over him, wouldve made him feel worse about himself before, now he pulls her against his chest, his thumb caressing her Lower lip.

Rorschach cooed softly trying to calm her, he felt somewhat comforted knowing that at least someone understood his fear.

So they hold eachother,hearts aching for one another.

The Man looks down at his girlfriend, his little Ray of sunshine,this city had the privilege of overshadowing her cheerfull personality, dimming down the light of his life.

He felt furious, how dare they? Who do they think they are to make his special someone feel like this?!.

But hes snapped back to reality when hes met with her gaze, her eyes puffy red.

He finally, speaks up--i dont.. I dont know what to say, feelings are not my strongest suit, but seeing you like this makes my heart break, but...im..I guess I am...comforted knowing that you understand what I feel...but now, right now, I want to see my cheery partner again,dont let the clouds of this corrupted city hide your light my love..

She finally smiles a little drying her tears hugging him--thats so beautiful rory

He smiles, his little Ray of sunshine is finally making it through the thunderstorm.

He hugs her tightly and both fall on the bed.

-- Are you hurt?--She asked-- do I need to get the first aid?

He shook his head --Im alright doll,I just want to be with you

Both cuddle up under the blankets, their legs tangled, arms around the other holding them tight.

Jerico sees rorschach lift up his mask, up so she can see his eyes...but not fully taking the mask off.

He kisses her, but its not like any other kiss, this time hes got the reigns, deepening the kiss he cups her cheeks, she melts under his touch, that was his way of saying "im here..im not leaving you"

He sleeps with his mask on, but jer knew that it was her Man,Wether he is walter kovac or rorschach, that was the Man that loved her to the moon and back, that was the Man she loved above all.

So they hold eachother, trying to cope, the process wasnt going to be easy, but the road would be lighter with the other around.

[yeeiguess]

Hey, imagine Bakugo finding out about Denki's scars when they accidentally get caught in a rainstorm because thwy were hidden under make-up.

Yep good good good

Usually, Denki wears waterproof makeup. Because, you never know. He’s been using the same thing for years, and it has never failed him.

Of course, they moment he ran out of his usual and had to use an old, absolutely not waterproof counceler, the sky is dark and menacing.

His uniform is short sleeved and he has no jacket; if he get caught under the rain with other people around... he eyes the sky the whole day, tense and worried. The first crack resonates around noon. An hour later, it’s pouring outside.

The hair is humid and hot despite the closed windows, and Denki does his best to keep his quirk in.

Class ends, and it’s still raining heavily outside. His classmates complain about the meters they’ll have to run to the dorms and Denki takes all of his poor acting skill halfway through the shoe lockers to say he forgot something inside and that they can go ahead. He runs slowly to the classroom and waits here for a minute or two, in front of the door, sighing at the sound of the water hitting the concret and the roof.

When he deems it safe enough, he walks back to the lockers. When he sees Katsuki leaning against them, he stops dead in his tracks.

« What are you doing here ? »

« Shut up and hurry. I have things to do. »

Denki’s heart beats a bit faster because hey, Kastuki waited for him.

Fuck, Katsuki waited for him.

There’s an awkward laugh coming from Denki, and he changes his shoes fast.

« Did you get what you forgot ? »

« What ? »

« Did you get what you ran back to class to get ? »

« Oh ! Oh, yeah I did. Just a... pencil. You know. »

Kastuki looks at him like he wants to say something, but doesn’t comment on the obvious lie. Denki shoulders his bag and look outside. The rain hasn’t stopped at all. If he run fast enough and go straight to his room as soon as they get in the dorms, Katsuki might not see the scars lingering his arms.

He smiles at his friend and stars running. Katsuki isn’t long to follow and to go faster then Denki. He slows down a bit, and Denki feels his heart beats in his ears for the second time in a few minutes. They run side to side until they get to the dorm. Denki can’t say if it’s the rain or the makeup running down his arms and he doesn’t stop to make sure. Katsuki opens the door and they get inside, breathing heavily.

Denki remembers his arms and straighten up suddenly. His hand is on the staircase’s doorknob when he feels fingers on his wrist.

Katsuki seems as surprised as him for a second before his eyes run down the scars on Denki’s arms. Some are older than others, but they’re visible against his skin under the harsh light of the hallway. Katsuki’s grip is strong, almost painful.

Finally, the boy looks up into Denki’s eyes. He’s angry and surprised and worried, at once, it seems. He lets Denki’s wrist go.

« What the fuck ? »

« Katsuki, I- »

« Who did that to you ? »

The scars along his arms are like lightning and cuts, and yet Katsuki’s so sure Denki didn’t do this himself. Of course he didn’t.

« It’s not important. »

Katsuki scoffs and his eyes seem darker, more dangerous, suddenly.

« Dont fucking lie. It is, if you’ve been hiding it. Some of them are recent. »

Denki wonders how he knows that. Well, it’s Katsuki. He knows a lot of skin. Everything in him screams go to you room, hide away, dissappear and hug him and cry and tell him everything. The conflicts must be visible on his face because Katsuki closes his eyes and breath deeply once, twice.

« I won’t force you if you’re not ready to talk about it. But don’t say it’s not important. »

Denki nods, slowly. No, he isn’t really ready to talk about it. He told himself no one would know. Told himself that being a hero would make the scars less suspicious.

He turns back and take the stairs to his room, carefully looking to make sure no one else sees him. Once he get inside he dries himself, take of his wet clothes and bury himself in a hoodie he took from Kirishima’s room.

Katsuki stays in the hallway for a little longer, until Tokoyami finds him dripping all over the floor and tells him he should probably get dry before those on cleaning duty find him. There’s melted concealer on his hands.

Oh i liked writing that ! Also Katsuki definitely has scars from his quirk so he knows about that.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

sting like a bee joe elliott x reader

+++++++++

early/pre-band so to say. very soft and fluffy, enjoy!

Song: the stigma (boys dont cry) by as it is

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I sat on the back porch as the warm summer breeze blew my hair around my shoulders. I inhaled deeply, watching the round bumble bees bounce along the row of flowers a foot in front of me. It was nice, calm. I hadn't anticipated much out of today but that had quickly changed when Joe showed up on my doorstep in the early afternoon. He had totaled his car on his way to work and was scared to go back home, afraid of what his parents would say of the damages. Not to mention his anxiousness of skipping work, even after calling and explaining what had happened. I heard the sliding glass door open and close again.

"Here you go."

He said, offering me the glass of lemonade. I gladly took it, offering him a smile as he sat next to me on the step.

"Thanks."

I said looking at it intently as he got situated.

"No, thank you. I really appreciate you helping me out."

I nodded before taking a drink, looking ahead at the busy bees still moving along. it smelled like it was going to rain and i was hoping for their sake they would finish their task in time.

"It's no big deal, I know you'd do the same for me."

i said. He leaned over and nudged my arm.

"Yeah if you drove."

We both laughed a little bit and I glanced at him quickly. this was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at him since he'd arrived about twenty minutes ago. I felt bad thinking about it but now I was just sat staring at him. I hadnt noticed it before.

"What?"

He asked a little skeptical before rubbing his mouth with his arm.

"Do I have something on my face?"

He raised a brow and i shook my head no, still studying him.

"You can talk to me yeah?"

I said nodding to him. He looked down a little ashamed, passing the cup between his hands.

"I don't know what I'd say."

He said softly. I sighed deeply before resting my head on his shoulder slowly, noticing the bees slowly disappearing one by one.

"You could tell me what happened, maybe it'll help."

I suggested. He seemed so shaken and scared when he got here but he immediately went to the phone. I hadn't talked to him since our hello at the door. I guess he really hadn't had time to process what had happened yet either. He took a deep breath.

"It just came out of nowhere."

He said, his voice cracking half way through. I touched his arm lightly with my hand, letting him know I was there for him. He cleared his throat.

"So I was going down the road, like usual on my way to work. The light turned green and almost as soon as I was past the line, Bam! T-boned right in the middle of the intersection."

He said, clapping at the 'bam,' he still seemed a little shaken just talking about it. I ran my fingers slowly down his arm before taking his hand in mine. He set his glass on the stair, taking his free hand and balling it in a fist in his hair.

"What is my dad gonna say? I'm gonna die when I get home."

I sat up and rubbed his back lightly with my free hand.

"Joe it wasn't your fault. Yeah sure they might be a little mad but it was an accident, they wouldn't call them that if it weren't true."

He looked up at me, a distressed look on his face.

"You got his insurance, talked to the police, and you walked away from it with few scrapes and bruises. I think they'll just be glad you're safe."

He nodded in understanding before pulling me into a hug. I squeezed him tightly to me, resting my head against his.

"Thanks y/n."

he said as i stroked the back of his head, hearing water fall against the metal overhand above us. i  held him tightly and inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of his cologne as well as the fresh rain now falling freely from the sky. he sighed before pulling away from me, examining my face. i stood quickly and held my hand out to him as it began to pour. he raised a brow, looking at me confused.

"come on."

i said softly.

"where are we going?"

he asked a little skeptical, taking my hand but not getting up.

"see that patch of grass?"

i said pointing at the other side of my mothers flower bed.

"we arent, its pouring."

he said matter-of-factly. i just smiled widely at him and nodded.

"yes it is, now take off your jacket so we can let the events of this morning fall away with the rain."

he sat in silence for a second before caving, dropping his head and standing up. he dropped his jacket to the stairs below us and took my hand back in his. i pulled him slowly out into the rain and he flinched away at it, the cold water falling on our bare arms.

"why are we doing this again?"

he asked as i guided him around to the empty patch of grass.

"we're de-stressing."

i said as i let go of his hand and knelt down, rolling onto my back and spreading my limbs out on the freshly cut lawn. he looked a little disgusted as i reached out for him.

"lay with me coward."

i demanded. he sighed deeply and did as told, laying out next to me, our hands barely grazing as i dropped it back down. i looked over at him as he blinked quickly at the rain now hitting his face. i laughed a little bit to myself.

"just close your eyes, focus on nothing but the rain."

i said calmly, earning a glare from him.

"will you just trust me?"

i laughed out. he rolled his eyes and looked back up to the sky, closing his eyes and sighing deeply.

"now, just think about the rain. imagine every drop hitting your face, let the feeling be your guide. sometimes i like to tap along to it like a beat."

i said coolly, turning my face to the sky and closing my eyes too. i breathed deeply the smell of the world around us and began tapping my fingers on the now wet grass. as i did so i slowly moved my hand to his in a piano motion, lacing our fingers together and tapping my thumb against his hand at every raindrop i felt hit my face like a melody. as the rain slowed so did i, tapping less until it was nothing but a light drizzle.

"see, isnt that much better?"

i asked, opening my eyes and looking up at him. i wasnt expecting him to already be staring at me but he had a look of intent on his face.

"much."

he agreed sitting upright. i mirrored him, sending him a soft smile.

"we are all wet now though."

he noted, laughing a bit, his soaked hair falling into his eyes. i shook my head, my own hair sticking to my face

"but do you feel better?"

i asked, looking intently at him. his smiled wider.

"yeah i suppose i do."

i stood up and offered my hand to him.

"great, now lets go change into some dry clothes."

he took my hand and stood up with me, draping his arm over my shoulder.

"youre not so bad kid, ya know that?"

i sent him a look and thought of the nickname in an endearing way. he was only a few months older than me after all. i placed my arm around his waist as we walked back to the porch.

"yeah, kid."

[estellestarlightevergarden]

Playing With Fire

Title: Playing with fire

Pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader x Adrien Agreste

Fandom:

Miraculous;Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

Masterlist

Series: Part 2

Genre: Angst, Major Fluff

Notes: Dont have much until I revise this entire thing even after I post this after writing the Summary

Summary: Reader is Luka's Girlfriend and is Jealous of Marinette. Alya starts to notice and Tells Marinette and Reader Breaks down.

Also I will post more Luka x Reader I promise!

This will also be a story in Parts that I dont know how long will last

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I walked down the familiar path to my boyfriend's House. Oh How I loved the Blue Rocker. I adored him so. I walked up towards the boat house that he and his family lived on. I smiled at the familiar sound of the guitar. I grinned and ran onto the plank that connected the boathouse to the pebble ground. I smiled waving at my boyfriend's band mates. They smiled at my presence and waved. I went on to find Luka who was grabbing his guitar with an unfamiliar girl in his room.

They were smiling at each other... I shook the feeling that was twisted away.

"Luka! I missed you!" I chirped poking my head out from the door. He turned to look at me with a smile.

"Oh Hey I was about to go to practice I'll meet you both there!" He politely smiled. I nodded and left. Hearing the footsteps follow me from behind it wasn't Luka's but the girl from before.

I sat down on one of the cardboard boxes next to Milan, Ivan's Girl. I smiled and she returned the small gesture.

"Hey Y/n How are you and him doing?" She curiously questioned me. I blushed and smiled.

"Good all things good!" I replied with a nervous smile. I heard the familiar aux cord plug into the Amplifier for a guitar I've heard many times.

I put in my ear plugs quickly and smiled. I looked up to the front and waved at Luka. I was ignored but shrugged it off. He then Looked up to the girl from downstairs with a sweet smile.

He used to give me those..

I shook my head from the doubts clouding my judgment.

"No! They're just friends" I mentally screamed at myself. Then their Song began to be rehearsed. I smiled and was the first to clap for their rehearsal.

"THAT WAS AND ALWAYS IS AMAZING GUYS!" I cheered them on. They all smiled. I saw Luka once again ignoring my words.

Then a girl with glasses, a flannel and blue Jean's walk onto the ship. She waved and so did I. I walked over to the Band and smiled sadly. I looked back at the duo that were with Luka and sighed.

He's really ignoring me? I'll just go early today.. I looked back at the trio of friends and then was caught by the girl with glasses. I blushed and looked away.

"You all did amazing but I'm gonna go home.. early tell Luka I said bye!" I smiled sadly before walking off the boat clutching the necklace that Luka had gotten me for valentine's day.

--------

I smiled having at my friends with an unfamiliar girl who also waved before heading over to Luka and Marinette.

"Hey You two!" I smirked. They looked in my direction and waved. I was ignored for Luka.

Oh well.

I felt a pair of eyes and Looked in the direction and saw the unfamiliar quickly look away.

Okay I know she wasn't looking at us..

was she looking at...

oh no..

Mari.

I sighed and this caught the attention of the duo that were conversing.

"Alya? What wrong?" Marinette questioned. I jumped at the sudden question and smiled.

"Is it okay if I borrow her for just a sec?" I smiled at the blue rocker who then smiled to join his bandmates. I quickly grabbed Marinette's wrist and dragged her and Mylène downstairs.

"Marinette? I just think you made tension between Luka and His girlfriend worse" Mylène stated worried about her friend's relationship. Marinette tilted her head in a confused manner.

"Marinette.. what she means is His girlfriend thinks that he likes you more than her.." my voice echoed throughout the silent room. The room was now still no one knowing what to say.

Then it had now occurred to my oblivious friend what had been going on.

"Oh no.. if they break up she'll think it's my fault..." Mari Spilled out in utter worry. Her hands gripping her twin tails in frustration.

"Hey Calm down just go and explain to her that nothing is going on and that you and him are just friends okay?" Mylène explained consoling the agitated girl. Marinette took and breath and calmed down.

"Alright! I will! Thanks I'll go find her!" The bluenette smiled and ran off to find Luka's girl.

-----

I sat down on a bench of the park and, Looked up at the clear blue sky. It had started to rain suddenly. My tears had also began to fall as the rain began pouring. A frown appeared on my face as the rain became more fierce. My breathing becoming shaky.

Then a purple butterfly had suddenly possessed my necklace. I gasped and then a voice began to talk to me.

"Hello navrée I am hawk moth and I will give you the power of heartbreak illusion which you will use to break the hearts of people who love eachother but in return you will bring me the miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir" The voice known now as hawk moth spoke. I shook my head and laughed.

"No thanks but I wont accept it because I'm not that sad" I laughed cheerfully. The akuma not feeling my sad emotions anymore and flew back to who knows where.

I sat down and laughed. I cant believe that I almost teamed up with a villan.. well at least I'm still the same. I yawned and fell asleep. The rain continuing to pour onto my skin.

----

"Hey? Are you okay? Let's get you to someplace warm" A voice spoke gently shaking me awake. I yawned and slowly opened my eyes. It was the famous model Adrien Agreste.

"Hey Adrien? Who is that?" A voice spoke with way too much concern. My vision was blurred by the rain. She seemed to have blue hair, brown eyes.

I sneezed and Adrien had simply brushed her off. A door was opened and running was heard the water being splashed. I coughed and shivered. I yawned and fell back asleep.

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I yawned again and found myself in an unfamiliar room. I jumped hearing the door open and looked towards the noise. It was Adrien. The one who had taken me out of the rain. He smiled softly.

"Hey I found you out in the rain. I brought you some food if thats alright" he smiled with a tray of warm soup that he carried. I blushed and smiled patting the side which was probably most likely his bed.

He smiled and gently handed the tray to me and sat next to me. I ate while he sat next to me watching me. I felt awkward eating by myself and finished turning to him.

"Sorry for having you to rescue me from the rain.." I mumbled embarrassed at my own actions. I looked up at him and he only smiled.

"Its okay really it got me out of doing a photoshoot and aren't you Luka's girl?" He asked not wanting to press any further. At the mention of his name I sighed.

"Yes but he sure is treating the blue twin tailed girl like she's his girl not me.." I sighed playing with his sheets. I suddenly felt arms wrap around me. I hugged back and began to cry.

"He always smiles at her...

He ignores me for her..

He started playing her songs that he never wants to show me because they're meant for someone that's not me..

He started to act weird He started acting weird once she came along...

I dont know what to do.." I quietly croaked. He rubbed my back and only held me. I pulled away and sniffled only for him to dry my tears.

"Well I've seen you two fighting alot and that's not okay.. you two seemed really happy until Marinette came along is what I'm hearing correct?" He asked still not wanting to pry any further I nodded and he offered me a glass of water. I accepted it and drank from the glass.

"I dont want you getting dehydrated now" H jokingly said. I smiled at him and laughed. He smiled and, ruffled my hair.

"Also if you dont mind Nathalie chang ed d you into warm clothes that my father has been making and was okay with if thats alright with you" He blushed scratching his head slightly.

I looked down at my clothes and was wearing a big hoodie that probably belonged to Adrien, and a white shirt that had the Gabriel Agreste logo along with green shorts.

"O-oh.. Thank you really.. its okay... and Does this mean we're friends?" I smiled up at him. He blushed and nodded. I smiled and hugged him.

"I'm glad your my new friend Y/n!" He whispered happily.

-----

This will now be a three part series sooo there was going to be a different piece originally but until I post all my other ones then This one will be on hold until I write more!!

[lilmixed-girl]

Just Breath

Grizz X Sister Reader

Summary: Chaos arrives when the storm hits West Ham. Y/N is overwhelmed by everything and scared out of her mind, and the only one who can calm her down is the person that knows her best.

A/N: I am so excited to start writing, and I've seen this request, and I got so happy cause I love this show and I love Grizz.

Dear Diary: It’s day 10, and I'm hopeless. I feel as though everyone is just barely making it through, but no one is saying it, everyone is just playing fucking house and not doing anything. I need to get out I HAVE to get out.

I closed my journal as cliche as that sounded, but this is the only way for me to get my thoughts out. If I told anyone even Grizz they would just think I'm losing my mind, maybe I am at this point anything is possible.

I haven't left my room in about two days, I can't I just want to sleep and wake up, and everything goes back to normal. But every time it's the same, feeling trapped and scared. I hear a knock on my door I just ignore it, probably just Grizz wanting me to eat thinking about eating makes me feel guilty.

"you need to eat, or you're going to starve." 

I stayed silent. I know its not fair for Grizz to take care of me, but I physically can't get out of bed or else I burst out in tears.

"if you're not going to eat you at least need to get some fresh air, come out with me please I'm worried about you" he pleaded

"I can't I just want to sleep." 

"just for one hour and if you're not having fun, then we can leave no questions asked. I promise"

I thought about it, and I can't keep torturing him even though I really don't want to ill just go along with it and hopefully this gets him off my back for a while. I didn't say anything I just got up and grabbed a sweater 

"ok, but don't plan on being there long." and then I closed the bathroom door.

By the time we arrived at the party at Harry's house, everything was in full swing, people were already in the pool, drunk off their asses. It reminded me when everything was back to what they used to be, well almost, and if I was my usual self, I would have loved this, but now I just tolerate it. I wasn't always a buzz kill I used to love going out with friends and doing crazy stuff, but things change and so do people.

It feels like time is going so slow and all I want to do is just be in my bed, but I promised Grizz that I would try, I owe him that much. For my whole life, he has been there for me through the good and the bad I can always count on him though nothing has changed with that. But I feel as though I can't tell him my problems, I don't want to burden him with all of that, he’s going through a lot right now, and the last thing I want to do is added to that, it's better this way at least that's what I tell myself.

Suddenly a clap of thunder startles everyone, warning them that if they want to stay dry, they should leave now, that was my cue to look for Grizz. I'm wondering this humongous house, and I can't seem to find him anywhere I try and look for my phone but remember that I left it at home on my bed, suddenly the light flicker my heart starts to beat faster I just need to get home, and maybe he will meet me there. I walk through the door in the pouring rain, I quicken my pace, I have to walk through town to get home. On my walk, I try to keep my head down as much as possible. 

I'm startled my glass breaking I feel as though my heart is about to jump through my chest all I can think to myself is I need to get home and where the fuck Grizz was. Before time was going by so slow, but now everything is happening so fast windows are being shattered, a car just started on fire, and people are fighting in the streets, this is absolute chaos. I don’t know where to go all I can do is just stop and stare. I begin to hyperventilate, I'm shaking and crying. I'm having a panic attack, the last time I had one I was 10. I broke my arm and my mom's favorite vase, for some reason I thought it was a good idea to jump off the couch and the goal was to land into a pile of pillows instead I ended up falling on a glass coffee table. The only thing I remember getting me through it was Grizz picking me up and calming me down, he always seemed to be there at the right time. But now all I can think is where the fuck is he now.

My natural instinct is to put my head between my knees, I can't stop shaking I can't tell if I’m cold from the rain or I'm just freaked out, at this point, it's most likely to be both. All of a sudden someone is grabbing me and asking me what's wrong I can't really tell who it is, it could be kelly at least it sounded like her. the only words that come out of my mouth are “I want Grizz, where is Grizz?”

She just pulled me in the direction of a house I can't tell if it is back to Harry’s or mine at this point I don’t care I just want to breath normal, but every time I think about I end up crying even more. I must look like a total freak. We enter the house by the smell of its mine and Grizz. I make a B-line for the couch and curl in a ball, I just want things to go back to what they were before I can't do this anymore.

Kelly is grabbing me a towel and making me some tea, she said Grizz should be here soon he just texted her that. Suddenly the door whips open and in comes Grizz, he doesn't say anything just brings me in for a hug, my head is on his chest the tears begin to slow down, but my breathing is still irregular.

"Breath, just Breath. I got you now," he says to me, he always knows what to say. I look up at him "I couldn't find you, I needed you," I say in between breaths. He wipes my tears "I'm here now that all that matters now." I hug him again, and he rocks me back and forth, Grizz has been the best big brother I could ever have, and I dont know how I got so lucky. I close my eyes, and before I fall asleep, I say "I dont know how I got so lucky, but I'm happy that you're my family, I'm sorry I've been a mess since we've been here." He stops rocking me for a minute "I understand, change is hard, but just know that you don't have to face this alone. you have me and your friends that are always here for you, please don't forget that."

After that I ended up drifting asleep, we may be in a situation that won't be fixed right away, but at least we don't have to face it alone.

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A/N: I hope you enjoy and sorry if this is kinda bad I tried my best. Let me know what you think, and my request are open, so don’t be shy.

[wackapedia]

Never Love Again

Reader time travels to the 70s meets and falls for Roger Taylor, sings a song for him before she leaves to return to present.

A/N: could be read as Ben!Roger from the BoRhap universe.

Warning: tiny angst

She breathes in the fresh air of Monmouthshire. She made it. She successfully traveled through time. It was August 1975. She walks toward the dingy studio that could pass as a farmhouse.

"Hello! You do work here, right?" A gentle voice rang from the threshold of the room coming from a man she recognized as John Deacon.

"Yes i do!" She lied. "Do you need help?"

"I was just wondering if you have an extension cord for my amp.." he points to his homemade amplifier while adjusting the bass guitar strapped around him.

"I'll go and check.." She obviously had no clue how an extension cord for an amp looked like but she pretended to. She leaves the room while stealthily avoiding people who actually work in the said studio.

She collides with a blonde man tossing drumsticks in the hallway as she was being followed by the studio manager on duty.

"Quick! Hide me!" She whisper-yells to him. Being the quick-reflexed musician that he is, Roger Taylor's arm immediately wraps around her shoulder and pulls her into a small storage cabinet.

"Why are you hiding?" He whisper-yells to her back. "Its complicated!" She replies with the same tone as she adjusts herself around the dark, tight space. Her hands tap on her back pocket to confirm her phone was still there. It would be a disaster to leave it at this period.

"You dont work here, do you..?" His breath fans her face as his eyes narrow at her even if the place was poorly lit. "No. Please dont rat me out" she sounded like she was about to cry.

The manager on duty's footsteps draws nearer and stops in front of the storage cabinet. Only a thin wooden door between the cat and the mouse. This is it.

The studio manager opens the door of the storage cabinet to find one of the supposedly rehearsing musicians making out with a girl. It took him a good five seconds to realize that they have been exposed. "Are we up now?" The blonde musician with a cocky attitude faces him.

"Yes! About twenty minutes ago!" The studio guy answers. "Alright, thanks. Come on, babe." Roger addresses the stranger he just made out with as he grabs her hand and heads toward the recording box.

She couldnt believe what happened. Roger Taylor just made out with her to save her guilty ass from getting kicked out of the place.

"Youre welcome. It was a pleasure actually." Roger speaks up after a moment. Cheeky. "Now, Are you spying around here? Why were you hiding?" He calmly asks, still holding her hand.

"I'm studying to be a musician and i wanted to see how things work around here" she partially lied. Again. "I'm really sorry. I can go if you want. Just please dont report me"

"I'm not gonna report you alright, dont worry about it. I can tell the studio that your with our band so you can get to watch while we work. Is that alright?" Roger offered. She of course agreed to it. She gave him her name as they entered the live room.

Roger introduced her to the band as "a music major student who wanted to learn about the recording process" and made her stay at the control room, witnessing the outrageous process of production.

Days went on as the recording of the first few songs finished. Her phone eventually died out but she was unbothered since she had no use for it. She and the band stuck together and treated her like family. Especially Freddie, whom she can not look in the eye without tearing up.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, most of the band members in isolation while writing a lyic or a tune, she found herself sitting in front of the piano of the live room, playing basic nursery rhymes she learned in grade school. She was with Roger, a person who has become more than a friend over the past few weeks.

He sits across the piano facing her. She breaks the silence. "I have a song for you. But you have to promise me you wont steal it."

"Of course i wont steal it! Do you really think i'm that low?" He responds to what he thought was a joke.

She begins to play a mellow song on the piano and begins to sing

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

Oh, I hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet

But I will never do you wrong

I've known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue

And I'd go crawling down the avenue

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of this Earth for you

To make you feel my love, oh yes

To make you feel my love

She lifts her fingers to her eyes to wipe her tears as she realizes how much she meant the lyrics. For this band who became a legend in her time. For this man who has a special place in her heart.

He had no words. He was able to feel every lyric and every emotion she put in.

"Did you write that? That was beautiful." He finally spoke.

"Thank you, but i didnt. Its a song by a famous artist from where I'm from." She spoke honestly. The room is occupied by silence.

"I have to go now." She spoke, breaking the silence once more.

"What? Where will you go?" He somehow felt that she will be going away for good.

"I'm going back to where i'm from." She sniffs. Her eyes rimmed with tears.

"Let me at least walk you back..?" He asks, hopeful.

She contemplated for a while before she agreed.

They walk hand in hand, quietly across the field not far from the studio, September wind blowing past.

"Thank you, Roger. You've been very good to me." Her gentle voice speaks.

"Do you really have to go? I thought we were having a good time together?"

"I had the best time with you, Roger. But I dont belong here." She breaks down, tears streaming from her eyes. "Please dont make this hard for us. Remember the good times. And keep it just between the two of us."

"Okay." He hesitantly lets go of her hand and takes half a step away.

"Please close your eyes." She says as she wipes her flowing tears with the sleeves of her sweater.

But Roger takes a step forward, gathers her in his arms and kisses her. All his emotions poured out in one meaningful kiss. And then he lets go.

He takes two steps back and smiles. "I love you." He yells even if she is nearby. She laughs.

"I love you too!" She giggles. He is wearing a full grin as he closes his eyes, spreads his arms and feels the cold wind hitting his face, rattling his loose bell-bottom jeans and the sleeves of his sweater.

He finally opens his eyes to find an empty field.

He turns round and round the vast grass, confused. He screams her name. She was nowhere to be found. He screams until his throat is parched. Roger slumps to the ground trying not to cry for the loss of his love.

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon as a sleepless Roger emerges from his room to find Brian in the kitchen.

"Brian, do you think time travel is possible?" His fragile voice almost goes unheard by the tall guitarist.

"Funny you'd ask that Roger. I had this thought last night about time dilation and Einstein's special theory of relativity-" unceremoniously dropping his spatula to the sink, launching into a full lecture and eventually the conception of a song about volunteers travelling through time and space.

[ohwellneverminddd]

we would be watching some movie my dad picked out at the convenience store. i would be frozen still; a ghost sitting as far away as possible from you. you would be calm & collected. it wouldnt of been the first time you got away with it. you would be smug. i wouldn't be able to focus on the movie and the funny parts are filled with everyone's laughter but mine. and it feels like im watching an entirely different movie; a family watching a comedy, unable to feel the sickening sadness lingering on. the movie would end and i would lock myself in the bathroom. i would search through the cupboards for a razor blade and fill my body with the word no over & over. i would wait by the door until i heard you occupied in your room and then i would walk to my room and lock the door. check it ten times. i would lay down in bed and i would cry so quietly, not a single peep. i would make myself sick. wake up in pee filled sheets. cry again quietly. mom would call to see how it was going, and i wouldnt open my mouth to speak. i would never say a single word again. i would become a mystery upon those who knew me. my dad would still kiss my forehead goodnight and call me kiddo. my mom would still tuck me in. they would still be divorced but they would still view me as a child. all giggles and questions.

this is how life would of been had i not told that night. people would ask me then, what happened, why wont you speak? but nobody wants to hear the truth, and it would of been easier for me to slip away. my parents would of preferred this outcome, living in ignorant bliss. and what good has come from me telling anyway? he still gets to live freely, my experience means nothing and it kills me that my story is unable to save people because he took my voice when he took my life. the saddest part is, i can still speak physically but the words that come out, the truth i so desperately want to tell, gets trapped a long the way. i can remember it like i remember most things from my childhood; like im watching it on a VHS tape. and its miserable & even though i know the scary part is coming up, i cant just close my eyes to escape it. i remember returning back home with my mom after that weekend visit. after i was covered in filth that no holy water could cleanse, after i attended my dad & step moms marriage- somehow there but not really. i remember my mom bringing me to see a lady, she had a fancy office with toys on the floor. i dont remember a single thing she said. i dont remember words leaving my mouth. did i even touch the toys? i never saw her again. when i finally trusted someone to tell them what had happened to me; they turned into a way to make me small again. like i was back in that van, that room. i didnt talk about it again until three years later when my sadness and confusion and grief began to leak out in forms of self abuse & skipping school. and then became of my first hospital admission. i began to fall and fall and i havent quite figured out how to pull the parachute, almost a decade later. yeah, i talked about it but since that night; spent in a questioning room with a police officer; nobody knows the full details. i am half girl and half dead. i wish they would of written that in the report. it would speak more volumes years later when i become aware of the fact that you faced no consequences. but look at all of mine. i will never be who i was before that night, that child is dead and gone. i hear her when i cry. i will never know the feeling of wholeness: i am nothing but a rotting peach. but you? you get the job. you get the car. you get the family support. you get the friends. you get to travel to other places that you have yet to taint. you get to have children if you choose- and with all that i have left in me, i pray to a god i no longer believe in, that whatever power this universe holds, please use it make sure that never happens. because i was failed, they should of pronounced me dead in the womb, if they only knew about you. oh this world isnt built for people like me; and its grown so lonely. with age came repressed memories and my body is telling me enough is enough. this body is a cage and its beginning to decay. i lost touch with the only pleasant feeling i could experience; love. i use to be so filled with it, i never ran out when it came to those important to me but the well must of ran dry and now it's all dark & cold & hurting. my body is saying enough, enough, i can't do this anymore & i am ready to go be with the moon. and when the months pass by, and as my story becomes clear, i hope somebody finds you and makes you read every single word ive written about you and what you did to me. i hope its burned into your skin like your face is burned in mine. and let there be no lights to guide you home, let it pour acid rain onto my words etched in your flesh. i hope when you go back to the earth, you are born again as a tiny spec of dust. one that sits on the top shelf; ignored and forgotten. i hope i am a child again in the form of a star. where ill be admired nightly and give hope to those looking up at me.

[syinisuga]

☆Forbiden Fantasy☆

NamJoonxReader

Warewolf x CEO'sDaughter AU

Genre: Angst→smut→fluff

Word Count: alot of words

Warning: there is angst present in this story so prepare your heartue. The smut in this is kinda extreme rated 21+ and the fluff part is well.... fluff.. lol im sorry i'm not good with the warnings

A/N: so this one was requested by my babygirl and i love her so much!💕 this one is specially for you so hope you and everyone else enjoy this one! Thank you all so so soooo much for all your love and support for my fanfics im so happy!😊

SyiniSuga originals

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"HELP!! aaaahhhhhhhh!! Pllleeasseeee!! Daddyy help me!!!" I was screaming as i ran through a dark forest away from pale skinned, dark red eyed, sharpe fanged and crazy blood hungry zombified vampires known as HellVamps. My five year old legs could only carry me at a certain speed but thanks to my tiny body i was able to squeeze into the gap in between a tree, hiding in it desperately trying to get away from those monsters. They came closer to where i was hiding and it had seemed that they found where i was hiding. I crouched down in the tight gap hugging myself thightly, shutting my eyes as i heard their footsteps creep closer and closer, every sound of twigs and dry leaves cracking and snapping getting louder as they step closer.

I hugged myself tighter burrying my head in my knees in attempt to muffle my terrified cries. The image of my mother being murdered and ripped apart by those monster before my eyes kept replaying in my head. The words; "Run! Get as far away as you can little one!!"

Were the last words my mother let out before being devoured by them. My thoughts were interrupted and extreme fear washed over me when one of them spoke;

"Come out come out you little abomination, we just want to drink all your blood and eat your heart.. trust us it will be over as soon as it starts. We know you're hiding, so you better come out before it gets worse.."

The tone in his voice and his words made my  heart beat so fast and intensified my cries. All of a sudden i heard the sound of loud thuds and bones breaking.I covered my ears and squeezed my eyes shut as i screamed out loud in fear at the horryfiying and grousome sounds coming from outside the three trunk where i was hiding. 

After a while i could a hear a voice calling out my name and my body was being shaken, the voice all too familiar as i was shook awake.

"Y/N-ah wake up! Stop you're not there anymore! Wake up you're safe. Wake up!"

I shoot up awake on my bed, face messed up with tears and breathing heavily. I take a minute to compose myself before turning to the direction the voice was coming from.

"Hey you okay?" His voice spoke a little low and raspy, one hand rested on my shoulder for reassurance.

"Yeah Joonie i'm fine.. just...you know.."i spoke softly and looked at him with weak eyes thinking of the incident that day.

"If you hadn't passed by that part of the forest and saved me that day... i... would've... been..."

"Sshh~ it's okay Y/N.. dont keep thinking about it.. the important thing is 12 year old me saved your sorry 5 year old ass"

He made a harmless joke in attempt to make you laugh a little and of course it worked. You laughed and hit his hand playfully before shooting back it him.

"Watch your mouth WereWolf Boy, you work for my dad now, not only that you're my bodyguard. Which means i can fire you anytime"

"Woah okay sorry ma'am" he playfully raised his arm up in defeat as you both sat there laughing with each other.

Kim NamJoon. A Hybrid Werewolf. Tall, tanned skin, body well built and muscular, eyes a beautiful dark brown full of light, lips pink and full, hair jet black and smooth and the best part is he has a dimpled smile. Oh how i melt at that gorgeous smile. He was the one who saved me from the HellVamps, eventhough he was only 12 years old at the time he had incredible strenght and speed. He was immedietly taken in by my CEO father, yes a very famous and respected CEO of the City Protection Agency. He trained alot of WereWolves in order to protect the city and all its livings from the dreadfull HellVamps. 

Namjoon was trained under the agency seeing that he had an incredible skill and natural born traits. Namjoon and i often spent alot of time with each other during his trainy days. We used play with each other alot, go out to eat, watch a movie at my house, play video games and all that. Joonie and i became really close as we grew up and it became permanant after he finished his training and was appointed as my personal bodyguard by my father.

Joonie became my bestest friend and we've grown up together. But as i grew up to become a little more mature now, i can't help but feel that i have developed feelings for him. Not the kind of feelings you feel when you see your best friend but something more. I loved him. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, i wanted to be what you call his mate for life. But as always, there was a problem. Though we co exist in a world with other mythical beings, it was considered an abomination if us mortals and mythicals came together in life. Not because of the relationship itself, but because of the fruit that will be produced in the future. That's right, if a baby was born between a mythical and mortal, it was told to be a great disaster, but no one would tell me why. But of course me being me, i will find a way to make him mine.

Everything was going great,i was happy hanging out with Joonie as asual. Our everdays seemed beautiful as always. But it all changed after that one day after a weekly meeting with my father.

"Hey Joonie wanna go out for ice cream?" I asked excitedly

"No y/n, i can't. I have work to do" to my suprise his answer was cold and blunt. And he used the word miss?

"Huh? Really? Oh.. well okay then.."

I thought it was just that one day, but he proceeded to behave that way. Always ignoring me and behaving really blunt, cold and stern towards me, he would'nt even reply my texts.

Finally i lost it, i could'nt take it anymore. I saw Namjoon walking back to his quaters and it was raining heavily tonight. I ran towards him in the rain, getting soaked completely as i reached him and grabbed his arm from behind causing him to turn around in suprise.

"Miss what are you doing out in the rain you better go inside before you catch a cold" he spoke still sounding blunt but with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Cut the miss bullshit please? Since when do you call me like that, huh? And why are you ignoring me? Why have'nt you replied to any of my texts?" I asked him, maybe sounding a little rude but mostly annoyed.

"Simply because i dont want to" he answered bluntly with a straight face.

My heart started to ache a little at his sharp words.

"W-what do you mean you don't want to?"

"I work for your father y/n, he's my boss and you're his daughter. I'm your bodyguard and that's that. I have to maintain my place and that place is proffesionally" he spoke ever so clearly which made you feel even more hurt.

"W-what?! Did my dad say anything to you about this,huh?" My voice now sounding a little pissed.

"He didn't have to say anything. It's what it's supposed to be. And we shouldn't be like how we were. It's for your own safety" he finished simply.

I couldn't take it anymore, i needed to tell him, i need to let him know now before it's too late.

"Joonie no. I wont allow that. I miss hanging out with you. I miss playing games and being silly with you. I miss making fun of everything and being happy with you. I felt hurt when you started ignoring me, i felt empty, alone, depressed and i started to hate myself. I felt all these things when you started to be cold towards me because i...... i love you Joonie.." i finally got out everything i wanted to say and stood there in the pouring rain, standing in front of him looking at him and awaiting his reply.

"No y/n we can't be like that. You know it's wrong. Its utterly imposible and crazy. Its dangerous not only for you but for others as well. You know that. Just... forget this ever happened go get yourself warm y/n" he sounded so cold,so blunt as he started to walk of. But that didnt stop me, i ran back after him.

"Joonie wait! Please listen to me. We can work something out,  i love you i really do... i can't think of anyone else that would take care of me like you do.. please Joonie you mean alot to me and-"

"Don't you hear me?! I will never love you! We can never be together, i don't want to be with you! I see you as my bosse's daughter and nothing more you hear me?!" He yells out and walks away taking huge steps towards his quaters.

I can't believe what just happend.. he just... i couldn't keep myself together anymore. I broke down crying on my knees, rain pouring down on my drenching me completly. I could feel the aching pain spread all throughout my heart and the warm tears flow down my face despite the cold rain. I cried out loud, my cries being muffled slightly by the rain as i pour out all the pain that had been inflicted on my heart by the one guy i loved. Father had warned me long before, he had warned me that should i ever fall for a mythical being it will bring me great pain, almost unbareble.

My thoughts were flying all over the place but was soon interrupted when i felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up thinking it was my father or one of the other Werewolf guards, but to my extreme horror i could only wish it was someone i knew.

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To be continued....

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6

[the-goddess-of-change]

Redemption

might end up being a two parter.

As i ran in the crashing rain i heard the same noises in my head over and over again the sound of the gun and her body hitting the ground taking with her the glass of wine she holding And now...i hear the sirens, i did all i could to block out the noises as i ran trough back alleys doing all i could to hide from open roads and lights My feet were already hurting from running much and my heart was beating like never before in a sense, it felt like a dream...the scenery, the running...but this was all to real And as i kept running only one thing was in my mind; i have to hide... my friends had all abandoned me my family didn't even talk to me anymore my frequented places was all closed i had no where to go but i knew i was not going to get caught i had...done a favour or so i kept telling myself inside deep down i guess i knew i had done something horrible but i tried to keep it inside, Hidden deep down inside As i looked out from a corner i ran across the street as i saw a police car turning the corner i narrowly avoided being seen as i noticed a flashing old looking neon sign for a beer stein figuring i had nothing to lose. i headed to the sign and just below it was a pair of stairs filled with rain and a big pool at the bottom i slowly walked downstairs and opened the door and walked inside inside was a small bar...a few stools in front of and old looking counter and some bottles in the back The light was flashing weakly and i spotted a woman sitting on the only booth at the end of the bar she had short black hair, wearing a black dress with glasses She took a sip of her drink and looked up at me ''Welcome, can i get you anything ?'' she said in a slow monotone voice i looked at her in confusion but i didnt want to seem suspicious so i walked over to on the stools and sat down hoping id be safe in this little tucked away bar ''i...give me a beer please...'' i said as i tried to be calm even though my heart was still racing She got up of her seat and walked over to the counter and poured me a glass of beer ''Here you go and dont worry...you're safe here'' i looked at her but said nothing as i took a sip of the beer it felt...cold, but the good kinda cold, it went easily down my throat and the aftertaste was...divine ''this...this is really good'' i said without thinking ''its foreign'' she said in the same slow voice i just nodded and took another sip ''So...what are you here for ? murder ?'' she said just right out of the blue i looked at her with a shocked expression unable to hide the truth in what she said ''E-excuse me ?'' ''So yes then...the police is looking for you...give me a good reason to not tell them right now'' i just looked at her figuring it was all over...i had lost and now i was going to jail for the rest of my life... ''....yeah...my wife...she...i dont know...it's hard to really remember...'' ''Let me guess then'' she said and looked at me ''You murdered your wife after finding out she was sleeping with another man and something else'' i nodded as she hit the nail on the head ''she..had been for years. taking my money in the process and using me...i just didnt know anymore...i didnt think straight'' ''I know how it feels, the anger and frustration taking control and soon, you dont even think anymore'' i looked at the woman in a strange way, it sounded like she knew what she was talking about ''But oh well, what's done is done, you're a murderer now'' ''i...'' i stopped myself from continuing the sentence ''But do not worry too much, this might be your chance for redemption if you decide to trust me'' ''Trust you ? Redemption ? what are you talking about'' i said as i chugged the rest of the beer The girl just smiled and reached below the counter and got out some kinda deck of cards ''what are those ? Tarot cards ? playing cards ?'' ''Oh...Neither, made it myself'' ''im going to shuffle the deck and pick three cards, whatever happens once those are picked, i will give you the option to take one and lets see how it goes from there'' i shrugged not completely paying much attention to her as she refilled my glass ''Now then, let us leave this up to fate or the police...who knows'' She smirked and started shuffling the cards as she picked three cards and turned them face down on the table ''Now then...let us see what fate has in store, usually murderers dont get of that easily so dont be alarmed if you're sent straight to hell because once these cards are up, i decide your fate'' i said nothing and just kept looking at her one by one she turned the three cards on the table with a slight smile spreading across her face ''interesting'' she said as i looked at her ''what does it mean ?'' ''Well, surprising no one, the first card is the hell card which is a one way ticket to hell to atone for what you did but i assume you dont want that'' ''the second is the void card which just sends you into a black void forever where you dont feel anything and just stay there forever in a void of emptiness'' ''but the third card is interesting'' she smiles and shows me the card which is a complete copy of my wife ''....Ericka ?'' ''i guess you see her...well, as you took her life there is yet another chance for you'' ''and that is ?'' ''Well, you took her life so the one way to bring her back is that you take her place'' ''take her...place ?'' ''She comes back to life...or rather, you become her, you vanish, never existed but you take over the body of your wife and atone by living her life without you'' ''Huh ? you mean...i just stop to exist and become her ?'' ''well, your soul takes over her body since her soul, you trade places in other words except you disappear but you become her, in flesh'' ''Okay...'' she smiled at me ''So what will it be, murderer ? you want to atone by going to hell ? live an eternity as a empty shell wandering in the dark or live the life your wife should have lived without you in it'' ''obviously the first two is a no but you say i become her ? do i lose my memory ?'' ''No, that wouldn't really be a punishment would it ? you will still be you but in a different body, Living her life'' ''im sure you will get some important memories to not mess up'' ''Fair enough'' i said as i chugged the second beer and looked at her ''i dont really understand how all this is possible but i pick the third option of course'' The girl smiled happily at me as she poured me another drink ''Well then, drink this and things will become clearer in a second and dont worry, you might black out but its all natural'' i said nothing and chugged the drink, it had a weird sweet taste to it ''Well then...Good night'' she said as my sight started to slowly fade, i heard a ringing noise in my head as my head rested down on the counter and i blacked out I'm not sure what happened next because i remember...standing on a field...outside...it was sunny, i could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on me but there was no one there Nothing. it was like time had stopped All i saw was a silhouette in front of me i rubbed my eyes a few times as the silhouette took on a human shape as i looked at my wife standing there, alive... ''E-Ericka..'' i said She nodded and smiled at me ''You...robbed me of my life...but its not all your fault, i used you for my own gain...i never cared much about you but...it seems like we both are punished'' ''You will live on as me while i fade away someplace...'' ''i will only ask one thing of you, John, make better choices than we both did'' she said as she walked over to me and kissed my lips softly and faded away again i stod there, looking out over the now empty field i felt my knees getting weak as i fell down on the soft grass and started crying ''What have i done...im sorry...'' i said as my tears rolled down my face yet no matter how much i cried, no one heard me as i was alone in this...strange place i dont know how long i just i cried but...as my eyes felt dry i slowly stod back up and looked at where she once stod and nodded ''i...i dont know how...but...if i can atone for what i did...i will do my best'' i said rubbing my eyes with my hands ''Thank you'' a voice said from somewhere as i saw what looked like a ball of light in front me of me slowly go into my body And as it did my vision turned blurry i started to see Ericka's life before me except...it was like i was given the chance to redo certain events in her life The first trough childhood was more like if i should listen to her mom which i did most of the time then the school life started and i got to see school trough her eyes and it felt...real but i knew it was something else i got asked questions by the teachers, i was given questions by my fellow classmates i got a few friends as this kept going for several years til college came up and i had to chose what to study i knew Ericka picked Art for her college education but i also saw what that path lead up to so i picked Economics instead thinking it would be a good choice This kept going til my vision once again faded away and i fell onto the ground ..... ........ .......... ............. ................ i heard...ringing, loud ringing noises i moved my arms but it felt like it was trapped underneath something i slowly opened my eyes and looked around i was...in my bedroom... my arms were just under the blanket as i got them out and rubbed my eyes i turned and looked at the alarm clock which was ringing i turned it off and rubbed my eyes again as used all my strength to get out of bed As i stod up i felt...strange or rather...i noticed something out of place i looked down at my body and noticed my breasts ''....okay'' i just said in a low tone as i turned on the lights and looked at my reflection in the mirror Sure enough, i was...Ericka now. i had become my wife so she could live on ''so...this is how it's going to be then'' i shrugged and closed my eyes trying to get some of her memories or understand where in life she was Nothing came to me so i guess i just have to wait for it to come naturally i looked around the room and noticed some clothes hanging on a nearby chair which i assumed Ericka put there the night before i guess thanks to all the choices i made....i changed major parts of her life...it looks like she lives alone in this house so...i assumed i had a decent amount of money and the clothes looked...well, not cheap i slowly got dressed and put on my clothes and headed out of my bedroom and checked around the house it was the same house but...it was decorated so differently and it looked more...modern for some reason the kitchen was remodeled. the bathroom, instead of a shower had a nice bathtub instead and the whole house looked like was well kept...not that the old house wasn't but this looked...a bit over the top ''this is amazing'' i said a bit shocked to hear my new voice I walked back to the bedroom and inspected myself a bit more in the mirror i looked pretty much just like her, except maybe a bit more in shape and longer hair but it was the same ''so...to atone for what i did...im supposed to live her life and make sure its a good life'' i didnt really think much about it Being a woman now...sure that is weird but given another chance to live is even more strange i turned around and noticed a small post it note on the nighttable i slowly picked up and looked at it and it just said ''No mistakes'' that was all it said ''No mistakes...okay, i dont know how to do that but i will do my best to make this life worth it'' i put the post it note back down and looked at myself in the mirror again i adjusted my bra a bit and stretched the dress a bit down and did a little twirl ''Yeah...this is going to work just fine'' i giggled lowly to myself and took a deep breath as i started this new life

[kingfisherunion]

This world is cold and madness

Chapter 6: this world is cold and madness

Read on Ao3

Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)

Relationships:

Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov

Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov

Characters:

Katsuki Yuuri

Victor Nikiforov

Yuri Plisetsky

Otabek Altin

Otabek Altin's Sister

Nishigori Yuuko

Yakov Feltsman

Additional Tags:

Car Accidents

Character Death

Married Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov

Anxious Katsuki Yuuri

Angst

Fluff and Angst

Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Grief/Mourning

Established Relationship

Anxiety

Anxiety Attacks

Death

Hurt Yuri Plisetsky

Character's Name Spelled as Viktor

Comforting Katsuki Yuuri

Comforting Victor Nikiforov

Victor's last season

Supportive Katsuki Yuuri

stage husband yuuri

moody viktor

Fights

Swearing

Yuri Plisetsky Swears

Post-Canon

DJ Otabek Altin

Motorcycles

it seems like Viktor is insensitive

but he really does care he's just not great with feelings

Language: English

“I get it,” he said coolly. “It’s weird to have another person who’s so in tune with your emotional side.  Like… you spend so much of your life dealing with that stuff alone. Huh.”

Viktor wasn’t home when Yuuri returned to their flat that afternoon.  He wished he could just suck it up and text him.  He tried several times.  In all honesty, he was feeling a little guilty about his dramatic exit from the Plisetsky residence that morning.  He hadn’t wanted Yuri to see him crying, not that it would be anything new, certainly, but it seemed somehow insensitive to the whole situation.

Viktor would probably tell him that no one struggle precludes another and that, yes, he was allowed to feel and to express - he knew it all already.Maybe it was less that he was concerned for Yurio and more that he hadn’t reached that level of openness with him yet, even now.  That he’d needed to stay in motion, to shake the ever-impending vise of anxiety that followed him around, ready to press down upon him from all sides the moment he let his guard down.

A hot shower.

A change of clothes.

These moments of rote occurred as if subconsciously, buried themselves beneath the constant stream of thoughts.

He stopped by the market on the way back to Yuri’s, picked up some ingredients.  A home-cooked meal.  The most he could offer.

Viktor wasn’t there when Yuuri slipped into the cozy studio, either.  Yurio’s feet in cheetah-print ankle socks poked out from underneath the plush blanket on his bed.  The curtains were open, at least.  It seemed much less cave-like in the natural light.  Yuuri did his best to keep quiet as he searched through the cabinets for the utensils he needed.  He hated making rice without an automated cooker, but Yurio’s cookware was actually very nice quality, albeit a little old and mismatched.  He wasn’t sure if Yakov was coming, or anyone else, for that matter, so he made two extra servings to set aside for later - if anything, Yurio would have some leftovers.

Cooking at least had some predictability.  The steps of preparing pork cutlet bowls flowed with a satisfying pace - each step allowed him the time to prepare for the next.  Very little waiting.  Very little having to think.  Cut the onions.  Prepare each cut of meat while the previous one fries. Put together the sauce while the onions soften.  All of this talking about the same amount of time as the rice takes to cook.  The finished toppings, once combined, cook in just enough time to portion out the rice.  It was balanced and consistent work.

The plush blanket wandered over as the onions were going down in the pan.

“Hey, how did I know!  Any excuse for katsudon, right?  Go ahead.  Take advantage.  Or was it not me who won gold in the Grand Prix Final and Europeans the past two years?”

“Viktor took Worlds and Russia, I took the Four Continents and Japan, and wasn’t it King JJ Leroy who beat you in France last fall?”  Yuuri recited, glancing over just briefly enough to see the young man's momentary outrage, then the quiet resignation.  When he smiled, he made sure it was warm and practiced and calm.  “I’m cooking this for you, Yuratchka.”

“Don’t you fucking say that Canadian moron’s name around me, pig!”  Yuri spat.  “Where is Viktor, anyway?”  Yuuri shrugged with a sigh.

“I haven’t seen him.”

“He was all upset when I got out of the shower.  What’d you do?  You fighting?”  

"No, not... really..." Yuuri dabbed at the sweat on the bridge of his nose to keep his glasses from sliding.  He sighed again.  This wasn’t what he wanted to talk about right now.

“He just wants me to be quietly emotional and proactive just like him and I try, really, but… it’s not like I idolize him still or anything… he’s just got a lot to live up to.  And a lot riding on this year.  And he wants so badly to take care of me but I can’t let him focus on anything but himself, at least until the season ends.  At least until…” he trailed off, horrified.  The words had spilled out of him without his meaning them to. His mouth went dry.  He pursed his lips, tried to ready himself for the ridicule that was surely about to rain down on him.  The onions were suddenly very interesting.  He let them abstract in his vision, poking uselessly with the spatula.  Yuri leaned on his elbow on the counter, watching his movements closely as he cooked.  

“I get it,” he said coolly. “It’s weird to have another person who’s so in tune with your emotional side.  Like… you spend so much of your life dealing with that stuff alone. Huh.”

His answer shook Yuuri from his momentary spiral.  It wasn’t at all the hostile response he had come to expect.  He glanced up in spite of himself.  Yurio’s green eyes were set, serious.  

“Of course, you’re wrong.  You do still idolize him.  Don’t try to make it perfect, Katsudon.  He’ll do that on his own.  Let him take care of you.  You know better than me that his idea of success is way more than just the gold he earns now.  Aren’t you taking care of me to cope with your own shit?  What if he needs to do the same?”

Yuri wasn’t nearly as shallow as he liked to let on. And as far as Yuuri could tell, he was right.  The Russian Punk gave a grim little half-smile.  The silence that fell in the wake of his words was not altogether unpleasant.  Not even Viktor ventured to break it when he wandered in a few minutes later, two bottles of vodka in his bag.  The most he could offer.  He slid into one of the chairs at the table and put one hand on Yuuri’s side with a gentle squeeze.  Their eyes met briefly, a minute exchange that lasted just a moment.  A flash of inquisitive concern, a wash of relief. A smile behind blue irises.

No one said a word until three picturesque pork cutlet bowls were on the table, and three glasses to accompany them.  As they pulled their chairs up to the little dinette, Viktor cleared his throat.

“It’s been a difficult day,” he said ceremoniously, pouring three gratuitous vodkas.  “And the days coming… aren’t going to get much easier.  But we can take solace in knowing that they will, eventually, get easier.  And until then,” his lips curled into a wry smile.  “we can always get drunk.”  He slid the other drinks across the table, holding his high, expectant.  “Yurio, I haven’t had the privilege of drinking liquor with you yet.  Come.  Drink.  To Otabek.”

“To Otabek,” they all muttered, a sotto-voce chorus before the dutiful draining of glasses.  Yuuri felt more than a twinge of embarrassment when he was the only one whose face twisted into a sour grimace at the taste.  He had totally forgotten that Yuri’s eighteenth birthday had been just a few weeks prior.  He knew some plan had been in the works for a vacation, just him and Otabek, the likes of which rivaled the month-long honeymoon from which he’d just returned.  He wondered if that had actually happened as he got up to fill his empty glass with water.

An hour later, the trio were pleasantly full and dangerously close to finishing off their first bottle.  The bowls were piled up in the sink, and Viktor was fishing through a crate of secondhand records on the table.  The tense atmosphere that had dominated most of the day had dissipated, and while they were by no means cheery, the three skaters had, at the very least, relaxed considerably.

“Yuuri,” Yurio drawled, pouring his fourth glass.  “Don’t you think you owe your husband an apology for disappearing today? Let’s get the newlywed drama out of the way.” He sipped with only slightly more modesty than he had with the last glass.  Viktor laughed.

“No! Yuratchka, don’t.  Yuuri,” he said, pulling some brightly-colored pop album from the crate, “you owe me nothing.  Where’d you slip off to, the rink?”  

“Yeah, I did,” Yuuri mumbled.  “I, uh- I had an idea?  I wanted to think about it for a while, try to work it out.  The ice felt like the only place I could think.”  His blush must have deepened when he smiled, the way his husband was gawking at him.  “Dont…. Don’t you think we could hold an event for Otabek?”

“An event?”  Viktor poured another vodka before any more water could find its way into Yuuri’s glass.  Yurio’s hand stopped mid-sip.  “A memorial?”  

“Not… not exaclty.  But in memory… Some sort of exhibition skate.  Or an ice show…”  he dismissed the thought with the wave of his hand.  “Anyway, I didn’t get very far.  After a while, it was just nice to skate.”

Yurio slammed down his glass.  “Katsudon, it’s obnoxious sometimes how smart you actually are.”  He pulled the crate across the table, almost upsetting Viktor’s drink in the process, and begun fingering through his collection of records.  “Beka… he just found this last week, down the street… he said it was one of his favorites, that he wanted to skate it.  The whole thing.  A big spectacle kind of thing.” He brandished an ancient-looking sleeve, dusty and battered, depicting a large symphony orchestra in black and white.  It was useless for Yuuri to try to read the Cyrillic text.  He looked to Viktor imploringly.

“Carmina Burana?”  Viktor hummed.  “That does seem to be exactly his style, doesn’t it?”  It did.  Yuuri had heard the Carmina Burana in concert in America, a dark and dramatic setting of ancient pagan texts.  It depicted the ever-turning wheel of fate: life, death, lust, love, war… everything.  “It’s a little… morbid. Yuri, think about this for a second.”

Yuri scrambled across the room to his desk, glass still in his hand, and pulled a turntable out from underneath.

“Please, just listen,” he said, eyes wide.  He fussed with the wires for a moment, fitted the record onto the spindle, and looked back.  A fighter’s determination. Yuuri had only ever seen that face in practice, on the ice.  “I’ll think about it… if you listen to it with me.  We can talk about everything after.”  He waved them over.

Viktor downed his glass and pulled Yuuri to the daybed with him.  His grip on his fingers was tight.  Yuuri grabbed the second bottle as he was whisked away, certain of one thing: Yurio was thinking ahead, thinking forward, and thinking of skating.