#quotes that i think a lot of people in this community need to hear

[da1ntiestdoll]

"It's not about persisting Becoming It, it's about persisting Being It"

[sysmedsaresexist]

Changing mindsets, from a Real Anti Endo™️

The Release of the (Pro/Endo) Golden Goose

I hope everyone from all sides will give this important, heartfelt post a read.

It's likely something you'll want to be aware of if you have a vested interest in syscourse and the validity of endogenic systems. Please give this a chance.

It's been almost three years since I started my blogs. Wow. I've been on tumblr a hell of a lot longer, but I really wasn't involved in the system community. I started out firm and loud. I probably inadvertently fakeclaimed (I went into this with the rule that I would NOT directly tell anyone they were faking, it was a boundary that I knew would ruin me socially if I crossed it, but I'm sure I probably did without meaning to), I name called and made fun of people and things. I was disrespectful to people. I invaded tags to get my message out there, though I was quick to stop once I realized I was making the tags unusable for the community I claimed to want to protect.

I learned very quickly what was appropriate and what wasn't, what I could get away with and what I couldn't. It started to become a numbers game, influenced by the risk of the post.

I made a lot of friends and a lot of enemies, and I amassed a following of over 2k. More people have come and gone from my little community than I ever thought possible. People made fanart of me, and I cherish those so deeply. I have over 300 asks because I struggle to delete the ones thanking me.

And the more I was thanked, the nicer I got, the more thanks, the nicer I got, rinse and repeat until I had trouble NOT empathizing with pro/endos. The more I was willing to listen, the more legitimate sources I came across that disproved my original ideas about consciousness. The people sharing the sources were more respectful than I thought they'd be. Things were starting to look a bit cloudy.

I talked to my colleagues about how they, as therapists, would handle some of these endos in their practice, and while their belief in the concept varied, kindness and attempts to understand was the consistent answer. When had I lost that kindness and understanding that had driven me to that field to begin with?

Colleagues, yes. For those who don't know, I have a degree in social services and counselling (plus three other degrees). It's why the current situation with the antis turning on me is so funny. I still can't get into the mindset of some of these new anti endos, I just can't imagine justifying that level of cruelty. I had lines that I wouldn't cross, and I didn't think people could be worse than me.

... That might have been a trauma thing, looking back on it.

So I got desperate.

I spoke to the actual doctors who wrote some of these papers all of us are quoting. Everyone was arguing the meaning of the words, so I went directly to the source.

Dr Colin Ross, who wrote about endogenous multiplicity in the 80s. I told him everything-- about plurals, non-traumagenic systems, syscourse, what was being debated, how I and others interpreted his words, and what I wanted to learn.

Was plurality only trauma based?

And back and forth and back and forth we went, with me asking over and over again in different ways, NEEDING to hear that it was.

But I never got that answer. He meant what he meant. He said what he said and he meant it.

That plurality was not only found in the aftermath of trauma.

And I said nothing to anyone because I couldn't reconcile it.

Don't try to read between the lines, I assure you, there isn't some hidden meaning to be found there. I can't share all of the messages because some contained personal information, but my final response will tell you all you need to know.

(It did NOT, in fact, make sense, and it took me three years to "rethink my paper" that endogenic plurality wasn't possible, I did not win that conversation, it was a dying stance that was not supported)

I've been accused of paying too much attention to my follower count, but I can't really help it. It's really scary when you make a post and see a sizeable drop. It means a lot of different things. My posts have less reach and support. I've upset people. I've done something wrong. My community is leaving me.

I'm in a weird spot, where I'm blocked by so much of the pro/endo community that I have nothing to join, and the anti endo community, who I still wholeheartedly support, continues to leave me for -checks smudged writing on hand- being too nice??

Misinformation about DID is a massive problem, and it's why I still consider myself anti endo and support that community. I relate to them in such a way that I'll always gravitate to and empathize with them.

Or at least, that's what I thought.

At this point, though, how can I not be pro/endo when Colin fucking Ross says it's possible?

I've already written about how I'm really struggling with these labels, and I love the people that have stuck around while I struggle to figure this out.

I hurt when I see the people that once supported me leave.

My (online) world is shrinking. Literally.

That's scary.

When you've watched so many turn away, you start to wonder, with every post, where is the line where the rest are going to leave? Is it this post?

I just want to be me, us, we want to laugh at the stupid crap people say, system or not, I want to talk about my disorder, I want to combat misinformation, I want to have productive, fun conversations about ideas and concepts with people who disagree and have different interpretations. I want to play devil's advocate and get people thinking. I want to be able to comment positivity and kindness on any post I see, I want to feel comfortable talking to more people about their ideas. I sympathize with anti endos, I relate to CDD systems, I still firmly believe that CDDs and plurality are different, unrelated concepts.

My priority will always and forever be the CDD community first and foremost.

However, I am a hypocrite. I have gone straight to the horse's mouth and failed. I've seen so much research that I finally get it. I'm grappling with holding on to this conversation with Dr Ross, wondering what harm I could have prevented if I'd gone public with these emails earlier.

Since when has being open to change been a bad thing?

Since when has showing respect to lived experiences been a bad thing?

What am I? What label describes this?

How do I go forward from here?

What are you going to do with this information?

I promise you, hate isn't the way forward.

[moltengoldveins]

@clingyduoapologist made a really cool “what if DSMP were a stage play” post and basically the instant I saw it I was struck by the muse but I don’t want to just chain reblog the dang thing or make one huge reblog with all my thoughts so instead here are all my thoughts on this concept

i don’t think it’s a musical. I think the tone of the story doesn’t fit. But if it were, it would have a Lot of scenes of unsung dialogue, and that dialoge? Would be rhythmic poetry. It’s Shakespeare Appreciation Time baby.

i do however think there would be a live score and an orchestra. A lot of the music would need to be recorded but there’s at least be a few musicians.

different characters speak in different poetic styles at different times to communicate character and plot development.

to elaborate on that: Characters switch from loose ABBA or ABAB rhyme schemes and vaguely rhythmic meter when chatting back and forth to strict perfect iambic pentameter for tense scenes or political speeches.

Techno speaks exclusively in unrhyming dactylic hexameter, an extremely common poetic form for Greek and Latin poetry. It’s what the Iliad was written in. This has the interesting effect of making Techno sound, at first glance, unpoetic. His speech doesn’t rhyme, and doesn’t follow a common English rhythm scheme, so it wouldn’t immediately register as structured. However, dactylic hexameter is actually significantly harder to write in English than expected because of our syllable stress patterns. Speaking like that would be, objectively, a sign of extreme intelligence, but could easily be overlooked as coarse uncultured behavior.

Techno’s chorus - composed of audience members, background extras, and people (in safety harnesses) sitting in the theater rafters - speak largely in Greek and Classical Chinese, quoting sections of the Art of War and Homer’s work. The major exceptions to this are ‘Blood for the Blood god,’ ‘no,’ and ‘do it.’ They all wear a hat or some form of headband that has a glowing LED eye, hidden, but activated when they speak. The audience plants are all in dark clothes, and when the lights go down they don medical masks/sunglasses. Anything to obscure their faces.

The Chorus, a group of robed masked people who broke the fourth wall and often entered the audience, was a vital part of early Greek theatre. I am an intolerable nerd, and the thought of sitting in a dark theatre only to hear an low distorted voice beside you start to comment on the play as a whole choir of voices echo around you, then turning to see your seat neighbor is a masked person with a glowing red eye in your forehead? Literally incredible.

Dream is the only character dressed in even remotely modern clothes.

Dream is first seen as someone (again, in modern clothes) sneaking around backstage in a black hoodie: most of the audience probably assumes he’s a stagehand and not meant to be seen. Then, at some point, he moves from behind a set piece and enters the scene as an actual character, revealing his mask.

interestingly, this is really similar to what I believe is a bit of myth about why ninjas are dressed in all black in modern media. They wouldn’t have been irl, they would’ve dressed like civilians. But stagehands in Japanese theatre would dress in all-black, and were often completely visible onstage moving sets - it was common courtesy to ignore them. Then one day some playwright had the brilliant idea of having one of the stagehands enter the story as an assassin, and suddenly every actor in all-black was a threat. For the life of me I can’t remember where I read that but it’s a cool thought :D

Dream canonically can interact with set pieces, lighting, and curtains.

Dream actively directs lighting in scenes he is not in, sitting above the stage kicking his feet.

Dream is often used to hand off props to characters instead of having them pull them from a pocket and pretend they were pulled from their ‘inventory.’ This begins to get confusing when Dream is acknowledged later on as the he person giving, say, TNT to Wilbur, or wither skulls to Techno.

characters address the audience as ‘Chat,’ (English’s first fourth-person pronoun my beloved) almost constantly, especially for comedic purposes- most of their monologues are addressed directly to the audience as well. For Wilbur, it’s a sign of instability when he stops addressing ‘Chat’ and start addressing the sides or back of the stage.

philza enters from the lower audience, right by the stage, probably after pooping up from the orchestra pit and taking a reserved seat halfway through so no one sees the wings.

Tommy has by far the least structured or rhyming dialogue - if it weren’t for how carefully crafted it was it would sound like normal prose.

Tommy speaks to the audience by FAR the most. Wilbur only addresses them when soliloquizing. Techno barely addresses them at all: they address him. Ranboo speaks to the audience only when alone, and it’s usually phrased like he’s writing in his memory journal. Tommy speaks to the audience at first like a loud younger brother. As he gets older, it sounds more and more like a plea for help, a prayer for intervention that will never come. Exile is one long string of desperate begging aimed our way.

Tommy stops speaking to the audience so much after Doomsday. He starts again when Dream is imprisoned. He stops for good when he dies in there, beaten, alone.

Sam and the Warden are meant to be played by different actors, ideally siblings or fraternal twins. They wear identical stage makeup and costumes, but the difference is there. None of the characters acknowledge this.

the Stage would need to be absolutely massive and curve almost halfway around the central audience, largely because it should be able to be split at times into two separate stages to show different things happening at the same time. This could possibly also work if there were two stages, but getting people to easily turn from one stage to the other without loosing sight of what was happening would be rough.

Doomsday taking advantage of the scaffolding in the rafters and using them as the ‘grid’ for the tnt droppers.

actual trained dogs for Doomsday my beloved. Would cost a fortune but could you imagine.

the entire revolution arc ripped off Hamilton, we all know that, I think we can afford to have a stagehand step forward in that frozen moment in time when Tommy and Dream have that duel, grab the arrow, and carry it slowly across the stage right into Tommy’s eye. For morale.

throughout the execution scene Techno keeps slipping out of poetic meter, especially when he sees/is worried about Phil. After the totem (which would be freaking amazing as some sort of stage effect with like lights and red and green streamers or smthn dude-) he stops speaking in poetry. The scene with Quackity is entirely spoken dialogue. Chat is silent. It’s only when he gets back and sees evidence that his house has been tampered with that Chat starts up again (kill, blood, death, hunt, hunt, hunt-) and he starts speaking in rhythm again.

Every canon death, Dream marks a tally on something in the background. Maybe it’s in his arm? Like a personal scorecard. Or maybe it’s on the person themselves, a little set of three hearts he marks through with a dry-erase marker or something.

phil and techno have a lot more eastern design elements and musical influences than the rest of the cast, except for Techno’s war theme which is just choir, bagpipes, and some sort of rhythmic ticking or thumping. Phil’s also got a choir sting but it’s a lot harsher, the ladies are higher and them men lower, and the chords are really dissonant (think murder of crows)

Tommy’s theme has a lot of drums, but its core is actually a piano melody. The inverse of Tommy’s theme is Tubbo’s, but Tubbo’s is usually played on a ukulele. Wilbur is guitar, obv, and Niki’s is on viola.

Quackity is a little saxophone lick. He and Schlatt both have a strong big band/jazz influence.

None of the instruments that play dream’s theme play anywhere else in the music. I’m thinking harp, music box, and some kind of low wind instrument.

[strangebiology]

Do nonfiction authors really need social media to get a book deal?

I asked successful agents and trad signed authors how important social media is to getting book contracts. Here are some data and quotes about how they responded on my Authors of Nonfiction Books in Progress Substack! Read if you want more details and caveats to the data, as well as my story and why I like social media anyway.

TLDR: Social media is NOT necessary!

Here's an editorial explaining why. But for nonfiction non-memoir, you have to do something to prove that you know what you’re talking about, as you'll see repeated over and over in my Substack article. That proof could be social media.

Trad publishing is very hard and competitive, and sometimes even unfair. But the people who say "you can't get a deal unless you know someone or are TikTok famous" are flat-out wrong. (Also, you can become a person who knows someone by joining communities, attending conferences...hell, you can DM me if you have writing experience and I might hook you up with my agent. There, now you know someone and have no excuse. I've successfully hooked up 4 people I knew from communities I'm in, or something like that, not because they're my family members. I have said "come back when your query and/or experience are better" to 3 people, and 2 people didn't get the deal despite having good pitches and my recommendation, it just wasn't a match.)

Unfortunately, I think some aspiring authors are looking for an excuse, as many of these people don't often tend their writing craft. That is a much bigger indicator as to whether you'll get a deal, even if the trad world still isn't a perfect meritocracy.

Remember, I LOVE social media and have over 300,000 followers across platforms. I mostly do recommend that writers and journalists should use it! I find it sad, even, that there are so many writers with no audiences, when there are huge social audiences who would love to hear what these writers have to say! (But there are downsides too, so it's not ideal for all. Check out the pros and cons for science journalists being on TikTok.)

If you’d like to share your experience with trad publishing and social media (or lack of social media!), I still look at the survey results, so feel free to fill it out here and I may share the results in the future. Some questions are optional and of course I redact the (optional, anyway) emails:

[dduane]

In the Young Wizards 'verse, how would the universe handle two wizard-potentials going for the same manual at the same time, like reaching for the same book at the library? Would it somehow magically duplicate itself? Would it avoid the question entirely by waiting to choose the potentials until later? Would either (or both) of them get a notification of the manual installing itself as an app on their phones, thus distracting them from grabbing the book? (So many options!)

The Young Wizards series is one of my all-time favorites, by the way. Thank you for putting it into the world ❤️❤️ I need to reread it again soon!

First of all: thanks for the nice words! Delighted that the books were there for you. 😊

As to your question: I'm not sure this is a problem that's likely to come up, for an array of reasons that have to do with the basic nature of YW-'verse wizardry.

Basically, though: every wizard (like every other human, and every other sentient being) occupies a unique temporospatial position that doesn't just involve where they are, and when they are, but who they are; as well as where they've been, and what they've experienced. Different people, born in different places and raised in different ways by other different people, are inevitably going to have different personalities and different worldviews... and therefore, also, different preferred ways to engage with wizardry.* The chances that a given instrumentality offered to a given person is going to be an exact or even near-exact duplicate of the one offered to another person are pretty small. I don't think we need to worry too much about the two-hands-reaching-for-the-same-Manual-at-the-same-time paradigm.

Bear in mind also that there are a lot of different ways to get at Speech-based wizardly info besides books. Offered instrumentalities can vary wildly due not just to cultural norms, but personal preferences. Someone who likes stories but doesn't care for reading physical books might have their Manual turn up as an (apparent) audiobook. (Or maybe a podcast: or a videoblog: who am I to judge?) After all, we've already had wizards who manage spells or otherwise engage with wizardry by listening to the Sea, acquiring the Speech through sentient laptops, hearing it as in-mind speech which they manage by (probably somewhat Speech-enhanced) memory; by direct communications with the Powers that Be via an (apparent) little magical light source they carry around with them, and numerous other methods. (And don't forget the slightly unusual instrumentality that turns up in the YW 30-Day OTP sequence, in which one new probationary wizard obtains his Manual access via what appears to be Tuxedo Mask's rose from Sailor Moon.) ...Additionally, I have a vague memory of one wizard carrying around a Manual access that seems to be the one and only Magic 8-Ball featuring answers that are not hazy. Don't ask me which book it's in, though. Might be Games Wizards Play, but that's a guess.

As for app installations—no reason that Manual access might not turn up as an app update. Also, in terms of dedicated devices, wizPads and wizPhones (formerly wizPods) have been around for a while now, and both have become canonical over time: Darryl McAllister's using one of the wizPhone-based Manual versions in A Wizard of Mars. (Though these may occasionally present problems for practitioners testing out a new paradigm.) As a wizard grows into their practice of the Art, it's not at all unusual to change instrumentalities as one finds something that works better for them than what the Powers sent them the first time out.

Anyway: hope this helps! 😀

*As for the probably inevitable question, "But what if they're twins?" To quote a well-known authority, "It's never twins." :) (And that said: starting with Wizards at War, we see that occasionally, it is twins... and I'm pretty sure they acquired their delivery instrumentalities separately, though I can't recall whether this gets dealt with in canon.)

[bitterbutblue]

loser zhu yuan thoughts..

but that's illegal-! ☆ zhu yuan headcanons

~ guys shes so loser coded please hear me out please peaselapelapslepfkgsfjhkld i need her to hug me rn it would fix me methinks ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⤷ if ANYONE fucking quotes her fucking pubsec ad to her she will immediately turn red and start screaming internally. if it is a good friend and they are in a private setting she will start screaming OUT LOUD.

⤷ genuinely a massive loser. secretly adores all sorts of stupid cop movies where they seem so badass and cool...

⤷ huge fan of action movies and picked up all sorts of martial arts when she was younger because she thought they were so cool

⤷ hates cats for the dumbest reasons but she secretly has an axolotl in her house that she cares for a lot beacuse she thinks they are silly little creatures

⤷ has a consensual workplace relationship with qingyi probably. qingyi is the 'excuse me she asked for no pickles' and zhu yuan is hiding behind her with a goofy, shy smile on her face

⤷ qingyi and her had the most awkward relationship at first because qingyi doesn't know how to emote and zhu yuan is a LAME LOSER who LOSES (doesn't know how to initiate anything)

⤷ every time there is a cat case she tries to push it to qingyi but qingyi is insistent on her getting over her hatred of cats and their fur..

⤷ she is that officer that everyone admires because she's so put together can do almost anything but god that entire extroverted, socially aware self collapses sthe second she gets embarrassed or shy

⤷ she gets embarrassed so easily... also turns red really easily. first time qingyi held her hand in public she turned so red qingyi thought she was having a fever

⤷ don't even get me started on their first kiss. she started giggling to herself and then got so mortified she tried to run away and qingyi just laughed at her (while falling more in love)

⤷ insanely good chef. cooks with the vegetables she grows in her own garden and loves to feed the community! is that person who invites random neighbours over to eat meals!

⤷ insecure about her body but we all know she is probably toned as shit with a solid six pack abs that qingyi has qingyi malfunctioning. she doesn't get what's so attractive about her body and often puts herself down but qingyi is straight up overheating and blue screening at the sight of zhu yuan.

⤷ can ramble on forever about stuff she likes. indulges in fan theories about her favourite movies and is secretly a fanfiction reader. will stay up to 2 in the morning on weekend nights to read fanfiction instead of going out for drinks or stuff

⤷ a super sheltered kid growing up so... she really doesn't know much about romance or sex. like that time she accidentally watched porn with belle... didn't think it was odd to watch it with a friend, rather thought it was odd people would watch that stuff PERIOD.

⤷ the most loving person anyone will ever meet. once they get past her initial officer facade, they're greeted with this dorky loser officer who just wants to talk to you about your day.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I'm looking into writing a character with Treacher Collins syndrome in a fantasy world. Most modern accounts of the syndrome I can find often talk about extensive reconstructive surgery, but that kind of intervention isn't possible in this fantasy world. Do you have any resources on life without Treacher Collins without surgery?

Hi!

A lot of the necessity of reconstructive surgery depends on the severity of the symptoms. So for example, if your character had their bones underdeveloped to the point of breathing problems, they would kinda need something to help with it (unless something as simple as a tracheostomy would be feasible in your setting, it's an incredibly old procedure). But if they're on the milder end of the spectrum, they could go without surgery at all. Sometimes TCS could mean the facial structure being underdeveloped, but not enough to cause major problems; this article on TCS mentions that there are parents who literally don't know they have it until they have a child born with it as well. So that happens too, sometimes it's just brushed off as Looking Different without any kind of diagnosis being made because there aren't any problems.

Here's one account of a man with TCS who was born in the 30s and didn't have any surgery until he was ten (and to my understanding, it was only for cleft palate - something not all people with TCS have), warning for the r-slur being used in a quote and the kind of ableism you might expect from the timeframe. (I think it's also a nice remainder that there were always families with disabled kids who were inventing solutions to help them, even almost a century ago:) )

I would try to figure out first what symptoms your character specifically has, you can always just pick ones that would be more survivable in a less medically advanced setting. Many people will have issues with feeding or breathing, but not all will; your character could be one of the latter - or you could have a Fantasy Nutrition Tube and/or the truly ancient tracheostomy I mentioned. When you see the "and then the person gets [something that doesn't exist in your setting]" try to be creative and think what would otherwise happen - the eyelid problems that lead to infections, maybe your character could not experience them, or maybe they would be visually impaired from having them; maybe if there's no hearing aids then their community would have to learn sign to communicate with them, etc.!

I hope this helps! I really appreciate the thought of including a character with TCS in the type of settings where many writers would just go "nahh they wouldn't survive it". It's nice to see :-)

mod Sasza

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

There's some stuff to say about MCD ep36, but i want to talk specifically about Matilda.

We don't know a lot about her until this point, all we know is what we hear from other characters, and from Malik's diary (in which she is called 'milfina'), and it's unsure how much is still technically 'canon' or not even to this point, because we do get that name change and not much elaboration on her backstory or anything up until this point.

What we do know is that she abandoned her old village and came to Phoenix drop, where she met Malik, fell in love, so on. From Malik's diary, he says she was already there when he arrived, so we can't be sure of the timeline, but we know she 'quickly fell in love'.

Matilda also says that Malik (and other lords) are responsible for SKs being released onto the world, and i want to yap about SK stuff in another post, but this is significant to me because earlier in the episode Aph reads a note that seems to implicate Matilda in this too. Or at least implicates her in *something*. Either way, she has done something she feels guilty for, that Zenix was blackmailing her with, and whilst we can assume it's the SK thing, we can't really be sure.

There's also a quote by Matilda where Jesson kinda fucked up what they were saying and idk if they're saying Malik couldn't communicate with wyverns or that Matilda is also a descendant of Irene but cant communicate with wyverns, but.... y'know, that's not something i'm gonna speculate too greatly on. I'm the Aphblr reacher but I will give myself some boundaries.

Also, I want to bring up the 'Does Garroth remember me?' line again because it is one of the most repeated lines of evidence in favour of the dadroth theory, and whilst i can accept a multitude of reasonings for it, it is a line that will always stick out for me.

Matilda was never lord, it doesn't make sense for her to assume that Garroth would remember her, despite the magic of the king. Of course, she says he's 'noble', but we know from Burt that the only reason guards who are of 'pure heart' are exempt from being affected by Sk magic is because of the bond they have with their lord. Shadow/King stuff is sort of different as of this moment in the lore, but they are intertwined, and often used in place of each other even when recounting the same piece of lore. And so for Matilda to ask this isn't logical, because there isn't the lord/guard bond that would give Garroth that exception.

Unless, of course, it isn't a lord/guard thing, because (despite the complaints about jesson's writing) the story seems to be implying that there is a lot of religious deception and lies and misunderstandings about magic. And the lord stuff is very heavily intertwined with descending from Irene. Maybe the Lord/Guard bond isn't that, but some kind of bond formed between Descendants of Irene, and people they are close to, which does lean into the little 'is matilda a descendant of Irene' spec i said i wasn't gonna look into, but... still. Maybe Matilda and Garroth were, somehow, very close, and she assumed the bond between them was close enough to make the magic not work on him, but his heart just wasn't pure enough, or they just weren't that close, or the little bit of Irene blood she had wasn't enough to keep that connection.

Really i've been thinking this because there is no magical basis for lords. And i want to talk about this in my SK post, but Lords aren't... a magical thing. They're not being killed by knights because the breaking of that bond is completing that transformation, it's because The king wants all descendants of Irene dead, and Descendants of Irene typically take positions of lordship. So the idea that lords are only special because descendants of Irene are special is something that has just clicked to me. and it's so crazy.

idk im crazy and stupid. don't listen to me.

i have like quotes and screenshots if people want them for certain things im saying, i just think this post is long enough lol.

i need an insitution.

[tallerthantale]

I finally got around to doing a close reading of transcripts of the Tortoise episodes, and I am very glad that I did.

My view remains that I find all the allegations both very credible and very damning. The updates to my views are that I feel more positively (though not entirely positively) about Tortoise, and that there is a probable very bad actor in all of this that isn't getting nearly enough attention. (Not Amanda Palmer. Or well, yes Amanda Palmer, but she isn't who I'm talking about.)

Tortoise first.

I'd been seeing a lot of comments claiming that Tortoise was anti BDSM. I don't know what the people in the podcast have as their personal views, but they made a point multiple times to clarify that BDSM does not operate like what Neil Gaimen was alleged to have done, and the condemnation they had for the alleged actions was not a condemnation of consensual BDSM. As someone who has been very involved in BDSM community for decades, I am fully in agreement with everything the hosts have said. The line people got most hung up on was a guest expert snarking about degradation ever being consensual. It is ambiguous in context what definition of "degradation" he is using, but it seemed to me he was referring to processes of establishing coercive control, and not referring to degrading roleplay in a mutually invested, healthily negotiated kink scenario. My remaining critique on the host / guests perspective is that the language around abuse and coercive control used by the hosts and guests often presumes all abusers are male and all victims are female. It doesn't diminish the value of the rest of what they are doing, but I think it is worth being critical of as a side note.

The other big point of concern with Tortoise, which I got major bad vibes off of from day one, was the manner in which they talk about their "understanding of Neil Gaimen's position." That sets off my internal red flags because it immediately prompts the follow up questions, "How did you acquire that understanding?" "Who told you that?" "Why aren't you quoting and / or citing them?" I had been speculating that they were from his side of the communications provided by the people coming forward, or comments from lawyers that weren't being properly attributed. Council of Geeks had a great "Cite Your Sources!" whiteboard moment I would generally agree with.

However.

It turns out there is actually a good reason for the citation fuckery. I think a lot of people missed it, so I'm going to try to explain it. When the hosts are referencing communications provided by those coming forward, they say so. When they are referencing comments by lawyers, they say so. The issue is, the bulk of the time, their understanding is coming from piles of direct emails with Gaimen that are OFF THE RECORD. Journalists have to take that seriously to get to keep doing journalism. They are professionally obligated to NOT cite or quote him when he is off the record. Normally in such a situation journalists wouldn't do this squiggly 'our understanding of their views' thing, they would leave it out entirely to be on the safe side of their professional obligations. Sprinkled through the podcasts are comments about the moral importance of hearing from both sides, the great public interest need to hear from both sides. This is a very snarky justification for the game they are playing of vague-posting the gist of his off the record statements without ever putting the exact statement on the record.

A lot of their snark surrounding that, and some other bits, leave the very distinct impression that Gaimen and his lawyers have threatened legal action against Tortoise several times already. Honestly I hope that they do file legal action, as that would open Gaimen up to discovery. Discovery is a process by which Tortoise would be able to demand access to nearly all documents and / or electronic communications Gaimen has relating to the matter, and in doing so make them public. Discovery is far broader sweeping that what is admissible in court, because it has to be 'discovered' before the court can rule it admissible or not. But inadmissible thigs are still usually public record. A jury wouldn't see them, but we still can. Because of that, it is extremely unlikely that Gaimen will file a legal claim, but again, I truly hope that he does. Tortoise probably does too.

But there is another person deserving of investigation and discovery in all this.

The main focus of my current attention is from a bit in the first episode that jumped out at me. Like, it made my eyes bug out, jaw on the metaphorical floor, and I was shocked that I haven't seen it mentioned. But then I figured, people might just not have the context to know how big of a deal this is. So I'm going to talk about it.

According to Scarlett's account, after she came forward to Amanda, Neil asked her to take a call with a therapist that both he and Amanda see. It seemed like his financial assistance offer to her may have hinged on the call being part of the deal. At first read, it looks like Gaimen strongarming Scarlett to tell his therapist he didn't assault anyone. She does the call, and there is a message from the guy that seems designed to plant the suggestion in Scarlett that her friends are manipulating her into perceiving a consensual relationship as a non consensual one.

To me, that is a five alarm fire. Everything happening in there should not be happening, ever. A person who provides individual therapy should not provide it to both partners in a relationship. A person who provides relationship therapy should not be providing individual therapy to people in the relationship. (They should do one-on-one sessions with each in the context of the relationship therapy but that is different.) A therapist should not be framing things the way they are described in that message, or interacting that way towards someone who is not a client, particularly if they have a conflict with someone who is. Therapists are very aware of the potential for clients to coerce others into saying things that fit the client's narrative, and should not be encouraging them to try. And all that is before we even get to the part where he seems to have been tasked specifically to gasslight Scarlett into mistrusting herself and blaming her friends. By Scarlett's paper trailed account, this person should be facing very serious repercussions and investigation. According to Tortoise, he has not responded to any of their attempts to get in touch with him, and he has a phone that is set up to not accept voicemail.

The name of this alleged professional is stated in the podcast, so I looked him up. He is most widely known as an author. His first professional descriptor for himself is as an executive leadership mentor. That more or less translates to person who gives expensive pep talks to rich people. He is also a minister, and a 'consultant.' He does call himself a therapist, but he has no degrees, background, or training in psychology. His degree is from divinity school. He does not list any professional qualifications or certifications in mental health, he does not list any memberships in any mental health organizations. He did co-found an organization that appears to have put on motivational seminars for a variety of organizations. His 'client list' was last updated in 2012. His website has features that are only accessible by those who are 'fully committed.' He is based out of Arizona, USA.

Searching for his name + therapist will get you to a podcast episode with Amanda Palmer, where she had him on as a guest, described him as a therapist, her therapist, and her and Neil's relationship therapist, and promoted his books. It was recorded in 2019, and it is utterly vapid and out of touch from the both of them. Searching his name + therapist will not get you any information on his work as a therapist, because he is not a therapist.

He can't get stripped of his status as a mental health practitioner, because he isn't one. Tortoise states that he has protected confidentiality to Neil and Amanda. If he does have protected confidentiality, he has it solely through his status as a minister, not as a mental health professional because again, he isn't one. As a minister, he may have greater client privilege than an actual mental health professional, who would be required to break privilege if they have reason to believe their client is a danger to themselves or others. Religious client privilege is very strongly protected in most of the US even if the client is explicitly planning to commit specific acts of violence. This might be the main selling point to people who choose to work with ministers who pretend to be therapists rather than actual therapists.

Scarlett doesn't have confidentiality much less privilege by any avenue, his communication with her did not form a professional relationship despite the ways his message seemed to blur those lines, which would have left him free to pass on whatever she said to Neil and Amanda. That would also open the door for him to corroborate what Scarlett told him to the media, but my impression is that if he can be contacted, he will cite a duty to his real client, Neil Gaimen, to avoid saying anything. This is one of many reasons why real therapists do not take clients who have potential conflicts of interest with their other clients. I can't tell from the content of either podcast to what extent he may have materially represented himself to be an actual mental health professional to his clients, but if he has done so he absolutely should be liable if not culpable for that.

I would like to see this man investigated to hell and back, but I don't know if anyone in the media is going to bother. For anyone who needs to hear it, do not go to therapy with someone who isn't a licensed mental health professional. Do not have the same individual therapist as your romantic partner(s). If you are setting up couples therapy, it needs to be with someone who has never met either of you before, and you make first contact with them as a unit.

Obligatory this is all personal opinion disclaimer. The internal states of public figures cannot be determined or scientifically evaluated by their public statements / appearances / works / ect... I am not the behaviour panel, nor do I endorse that kind of thing. But under certain circumstances I am willing to put out some personal opinions about what certain actions, if they happened, would seem to suggest.

I've been saying for a while now, the allegations paint a very strong and compelling picture of Gaimen knowing what he was doing and engaging in deliberate strategy even if he can make pocket experiences for himself where he gets to believe that the relationships were real. I think the evidence pointing towards Gaimen having a long running pseudo 'therapist' he is comfortable sending his accusers to talk to, who then encourages the accuser to think their friends are controlling them, speaks to how deeply this approach to life can saturate a person's existence. When I say 14 represents a lifestyle choice, these are the kinds of things I'm talking about. Someone who fucked up and made a few grievous errors, and did soul searching, and is trying to do better doesn't send their victims to their on call professional gassligter with religious privilege who they outsource to. This looks like 'life revolves around finding ways to control and silence people' level shit.

[dotster001]

A Sagittarius Chaos Throuple

Summary: Rook x Idia x FEM! Reader. What a polyamorous relationship looks like for NRC's hottest Sagittarius'. Requested by @stygianoir

CW: Fem Reader.

A/N: If people like this, I can do the other signs, (I'm Libra in case you're wondering 😂) and I can make a gender neutral version. Just let me know!

Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer-coming soon

How it happens.

It all starts with Rook. We all know he's been trying to "get to know" Idia for a while. (let's be real. He already knows Idia. He just wants an excuse for an in that won't scare him)

When you come around, and he falls for you, it diverts him from Idia for a while. Obviously, Rook makes the first move. After he learns everything about you, that is. Now that he's got his beautiful girlfriend, you'd think he'd be satisfied, right? Nope.

In most cases, the reader proposes the Poly relationship. But this time is different. Roi de Ta Chambre is too alluring for poor Rook! If only his beautiful Mademoiselle Trickster could see it too!

He pushes you in the right direction, getting you into the games Idia is into, so that he will let you in. Then he joins on the escapades, as your boyfriend, thereby getting Idia comfortable with him as well.  After a while, he sits you both down and proposes a poly relationship. The trick to pulling it off is comparing it to an anime Idia has been really into lately, so that he isn't overwhelmed by the idea. 

What these three Sagittarius' get up to.

All three of you stay off the radar. But one day Rook is telling you about all the juicy things he hears when he hides in vents and trees, and now all three of you are doing it. Idia has created a smoke bomb, so that when you three gremlins get caught, you can make a hasty retreat.  While Rook is a little disappointed that his street cred as being undetectable is going out the window, getting gossip with his beloveds is definitely worth it.

Study sessions? Study sessions. All three of you work hard on your homework and study together, and sometimes, after that, you start studying up on one of your hyperfixations. Idia's new video game? You're all researching cheat codes, lore, and secrets for hours. Rook's new target? You're studying the school layouts and plotting how he's going to get them. 

Romance among Sagittarius is very affectionate, and it's no different here. It takes a bit for Idia to get past his insecurities, but once he does, he always wants a kiss from both of you for everything.  

Top kiss request quotes,

"Loves, I just killed that boss. Praise me."

"Rook, you forgot to give me a goodnight kiss yesterday, so now you owe me."

"If I don't have a lover kissing each of my cheeks in ten seconds, I'm going to hack your phones."

Meanwhile, Rook makes sure that you all get cuddle time at least once a week. He likes watching his partners fall asleep with his arms around them. 

He also sends you both off with a heated kiss before every class. Vil is this close to giving Rook another talk about PDA.

Rook teaches you both archery. When he realizes his throuple is made up solely of Sagittarius, he realizes you all need to be hunters. Under his guidance, the three of you become a menace to society.

Communication is great amongst you three. If something's upsetting someone, it's out in the open immediately. All three of you are very blunt about your feelings, but also very understanding. So resolutions are arrived at quickly.

Dates tend to be in Idia's room. You and Rook pretend it's for his comfort, but the reality is that none of you want to spend a lot of money on a date that you can go to in VR for free.  

Overall, it's a surprisingly happy trio (for everyone but Vil, who does not enjoy you and Idia enabling Rook's bad habits) You all work together to make sure the throuple stays happy and mentally stimulated, and cause some chaos together. What more could you ask for?

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Today I wanna take a break, because it is Pride Month and we lost an icon sadly far, far too quietly. Made me realize I don't think I've really heard much about Lynn Conway in queer circles for a long time. And honestly? That's fucked. If anyone deserves to be held up as a trans luminary of the past century it's her. I wish I had the knowledge of computer chips to fully explain how landmark her contributions were in her career, but truth is her story as a trans woman is what's truly fascinating.

If I have the details right, tried to transition during college in the 50s but ran into hurdles. Then got a job at IBM, fired when she sought out Harry Benjamin (another important name y'all need to quit glossing over) and was one of his patients in the late 60s. Transitioning before 30 and if I may say, being quite attractive...even when I was coming out in the 00s the general wisdom was if you could go "stealth" and just start over you should. Which Lynn did. Then went on to make some groundbreaking waves in computer chip design and really had this hellacious 30-year career as just a woman breaking barriers in tech. Keep in mind no one knew she was trans, ain't no way she'd have ended up working with Reagan's DoD on some Cold War defense tech if that was public knowledge.

Then at the end of her career, a new chapter began. Got out ahead of realizing some people were about to make the connection to her time at IBM so came out publicly through a website I remember being a pivotal find in my own journey. It was one of the best collection of resources out there and her story was one of the first ones I saw where you could transition and not be stuck in some small box forevermore because of it. You can shrug off the blowback and get on with your life. Ever heard of Blanchard & Bailey, the Autogyneophilia guys TERFs love to quote? Conway was a prominent academic speaking out against their dodgy methodology as well. Her lengthy and through takedown of that Man Who Would Be Queen book is fuckin legendary. Honestly, if you can find the old archived pages from her website it's worth a read. We don't really have many stories of like, a long life after transition without also being a mainstay of the community the whole time. There's a lot she'd get roasted for today, but generally for the wrong reasons because holy shit is my revisit showing so much honesty and stuff I've needed to hear at a similar point. We get so focused on the actual coming out and exploring and transitioning phase people miss that's just the baby steps on a lifelong journey. I miss how straightforward this old guard could be. In my experience queer youth today love it but it will absolutely enrage the late-blooming final wave of my own generation who lack so much perspective on how little the difference makes at this point.

I know it's fun to raise up queer names who were outlaws and radicals, everyone loves the (false) story of Marsha Johnson throwing the first brick at Stonewall more than her tireless decades of boring organizing. We like our fabulous and festive faces, but honestly...younger generations of trans folk should probably pay a little more attention to stories like Lynn Conway's where we actually do sometimes get to just have a "normal" and highly successful bulk of our lives after the identity struggle. So far ahead of her time it took until my own generation for us to see the whole having an experience more like hers.

[sorrynotsorrybi]

Hey, everyone, this is super not cool for lots of reasons!

1. A (supposedly) straight person playing a gay character is not “queerbaiting.” I’m taking this word away until people learn how to use it properly. Queerbaiting is deliberate and concerted effort to trick queer people into thinking a character/person is queer in order to gain viewership and $$ from queer people, without ever confirming it so that they don’t have to risk losing homophobe viewers/fans/$$. An actor playing a queer character once and not feeling comfortable stating their orientation in NO WAY fits that definition.

2. Kit is EIGHTEEN. I know lots of young people are discovering their identities at younger and younger ages, but that’s not universally true. And even if it were, it’s a different story for a celebrity to feel pressured to announce their orientation. That’s pressuring someone young to out themselves publicly, which is massively fucked up. Coming out should always be a person’s free, non-coerced choice when they’re ready.

3. Quote from the article: “It feels a bit strange to make assumptions about a person’s sexuality just based on hearing their voice or seeing their appearance,” Connor added at the time. “I feel like that’s a very interesting, slightly problematic sort of assumption to make.” People just assumed Kit was straight because of his voice/mannerisms?? What the fuck?!?!! Like, queer people did this!!! That’s massively problematic, actually!!! And misses a major point of the show, which is really fucking ironic. Queer people don’t need to fit certain stereotypes in looks and mannerisms in order to be queer!!!!

Anyway, sending love to Kit right now. No one should ever feel forced to out themselves before they’re ready. I hope he finds supportive and healing bi community!

[bleue-flora]

Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 3

[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]

Alright, you’re gonna want to probably go read part 1 and 2 first, promise they aren’t too long.

Done? Long time no see buddy. :) Good deal. Now finally, the last reason(s) I think Dream is autistic is because of how it fits narratively.

Who better to frame as the villain than someone who is already on the outside, who is already different, weird, a little off, not like everyone else, obsessive, abrasive, and already setting off subconscious red flags of not fitting the norm. There’s a quote that most have probably heard by Andrew Smith that says, “People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer.” And does that not say it all? Talk about history repeating itself, real history. This truth is the basis of many real wars. And if communicating and thinking differently weren’t enough to garner dislike, sucess and intelligence are another foundation of hate and as I said in part 1, while not true across the board, high IQ is one way they identify people with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). So who better to frame as the villain than an autistic admin infamous for being one of the best Minecraft players.

Of course, I hear you ask - couldn’t you make the same argument for sociopaths/people with ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) are they not also different than most people to garner inherent fear? The answer is: No, not really. Contrary to popular belief, people with ASPD are not the odd balls out but are more likely to be popular and well liked as they lie and manipulate others to get what they want. In other words, there is a more calculated persona/masking in both ASD and ASPD, but while ASD is just trying to fit in, people with ASPD often have an inherent entitlement to the things they want and are trying to gain power and stand above the crowd not in it. In addition, autistic people tend to be honest, to the point of inappropriate or rude because they are straight forward. In the dsmp, Dream’s default isn’t to lie in fact he tells a lot of truth before often being forced to change his answer [clip]. Unlike people with ASPD who lie because they enjoy the power it gives them and to get what they want.

There is of course empathy to be considered when comparing ASD and ASPD as perhaps the main difference between the two and I think there is a lot of evidence that Dream does have empathy. In fact, I think his moral compass is originally one of the strongest before the dsmp slowly wore away the edges. He returns items after wars, fixes creeper holes and destroyed property, helps people mine or gather materials, fights for the side of who was wronged first, constantly gives out food to feed people… etc. He does a lot of caring things he doesn’t have too. That give him no real advantage, but often even end up putting him in a sticky situation. I mean what better example do we need to prove he has empathy than him rebuilding Tubbo’s house [post]. There was no reason or manipulation or obligation to do that, he did it because he saw that Tubbo was upset. I mean I’ve said it before that we can’t truly prove whether someone does or doesn’t has empathy, but we can look at behavior and I’d argue that his less empathetic acts come much later on his arc and are not consistent across the board like they would be if he truly were a sociopath. Leaving us with the most obvious conclusion then that his logical mind that makes him look like he’s unempathetic and his masking must be because he’s autistic instead, which again aligns well with his high intelligence and obsessive development of skill.

Finally, and perhaps most notably, while a lot of times masking is associated with ADHD it is much more notable and important for an autistic person. Because we are not masking just to cover up our stimming or hyperactivity we are putting on a different face to blend in and be accepted and loved. We are shifting the very parts of ourselves to fit in a circle shaped hole when we’re squares. Which is a skill and habit I don’t find it hard to believe that Dream would use for his villain persona, especially since our (my) masks tend to change too based on environment, whether needing to fit into the family dynamic, student culture or professional world where the social rules change. Which is exactly what we see from Dream as his mask changes depending on who he’s with whether that be Tommy, a large audience, Wilbur, his friends, The Warden, Quackity, Badboyhalo, Techno… etc.

In other words, how fitting would it be if a character with the disorder infamous for masking had a literal mask. One that he literally had to take off to discovery who he was all along. What better example of the dsmp main theme of seeing things from other peoples point of view to gain understanding, than the extreme case of that. What better picture of communication issues than a disorder infamous for social struggle. Like not only does it fit so very well with Dream’s character, not only does it make sense with the symbolism of his mask, and the narrative, but it fits the overall arching dsmp story too, because by being autistic Dream is kind of like the ultimate version of the theme and for him to be a main front runner of the story just truly drives the point home in a beautiful and important manner.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi chai, I saw your Twitter yesterday. Fans getting weird about your opinion on stoliz and claiming that’s the ‘true conspiracy’ behind why you critique SH and Viv. But that holds no weight at all, is very silly, and is absolutely as stupid as the dragon discourse. I hope you know there’s only maybe 5 people who think that.

I definitely get how hard it is being critical of something that is genuinely harmful, but feeling guilty in a way, that you’re in the minority while saying it. Everyone ignoring things and sweeping them aside makes you feel “am I the crazy one am I just overreacting?” But I promise you that you aren’t. Maybe talking about it negatively is taking up a bit too much of your thought space, but it’s not as if you’re alone in that. Maybe making a side blog for writing critique, headcanons, especially all the stolas critical stuff, separate to legitimate allegations and important receipts, community discourse etc, could be a good idea?

And I can understand feeling bad when you are seen as negative while everyone else can just quote on quote ‘turn their brain off and enjoy’ so you try do the same. Maybe I’m wrong but I can kinda see you trying to make yourself do that. But if something makes you uncomfortable you don’t need to hide or minimise it. This writing and rhetoric it creates is legitimately damaging on many levels. And all of your arguments are very clearly substantiated. They brought me a lot of comfort to know I’m not alone.

I was bullied out of a lot of HB social media platforms Reddit, discord servers, Pinterest, even my YouTube just for existing in the fandom and not shipping it, when push came to shove I barely even had to say this ship makes me uncomfortable. In the most mild way possible. I was just suspected of it then made fun of for being “too sjw” A lot of people are chronically online and extremely defensive because they’re deeply obsessed with the ship. With some saying they’ll hunt Medrano down and hurt her if she doesn’t make it canon immediately and give the best owl boy a happy ending. Now, those people are the dangerous weirdos.

It's silly and stupid, but the people parroting "It's all because of Stolitz!" like it's the end of the world are profoundly stupid people. They've got nothing on me of substance, so they have to make up stuff in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously.

(As for my thought space, I've got plenty of it and only devote as much of it to Viv stuff as I want to. When I'm tired of it, I step away or close the inbox. No problem.)

Sorry to hear you were bullied out of HB platforms. The people behaving this way are ghouls and they'll eat each other alive sooner or later, probably sooner.

[rowanraven08]

Tmagp rant number 7??? I don’t know why I’m trying to number these anymore I’ve lost count.

TMAGP SPOILERS FOR EP19

So I’m thoroughly freaking out over the new episode, but I’m really interested over the bit at the end between Colin and Alice.

“We can’t let him know how much we know.”

“He sees too much already.”

Not they. Not the OIAR as a whole, he. A singular person, supporting the theory that it’s Chester himself listening in, not the OIAR tapping people’s devices or listening through him. Even more, it’s that Colin knows about him, I am thoroughly betting at this point that Colin knows there’s people stuck in the computer, that he knows about Jon, and maybe have even communicated with him.

I’m trying to figure out what he means by “doing mummy and daddy stansi proud,” since that was a German secret police (I think? I’m gonna read up on it later, I don’t know much about it) And when he starts getting into talking about mercury’s and sulfur, I have no clue what to make of that. Maybe Celia’s on the right track with alchemy? Also if I’m right about Colin being touched by the spiral, or whatever is closest now that the fears might be divided differently, he could be going properly insane too, god I need to know so badly.

I also saw someone making a joke about how long it took Sam to realize they were being listened to, and he was being given certain cases for the institute, when Celia was talking about alchemy and then there was immediately a case about alchemy, and that wasn’t even what knocked some sense into him. But I don’t think he actually got that case, it was Celia who needed that information, the statement and Sam’s conversation with Alice are separate scenes, you can hear the recording end, so I think it was Celia and we just didn’t hear her reaction to it.

The errors are also getting strangely suspicious, some of the timing is just perfect for some conversations.

“Do you have a moment?” Computer immediately has an error, giving Alice no excuse not to listen to Sam. When she doesn’t believe him and brushes it off? Another error.

In ep17? The conversation between Gwen and Alice where they nearly talk about their issues, all cause because Alice’s computer kept having an error. When Gwen says “Trust me, I hate it as much as you do,” it sounds like that was her trying to end the conversation. Another error, and they start talking again. They almost tell each other what’s on their minds, when they don’t the computer immediately starts up again. And I quote from the transcript, “The PC gives a begrudging tone and seems to be working again.” Begrudging. Like Jon was frustrated they wouldn’t just talk to each other and figure stuff out, because this is the sort of situation where everyone thinks they have to keep their secrets and if they actually just communicated and put their heads together, they could get a lot farther.

Anyway I need to relisten to the whole thing again, and see if all the errors have this sort of purpose.

[daydream-cement]

Larissa Weems Headcanons

Some Larissa Weems x Reader. Just a series of little things that I think about for Larissa. Most are just little things, not big enough for stories.

Send me your own personal headcanons for her or feel free to argue with the ones I've listed.

As a little girl, she always said she wanted to be a doctor. This changed quickly when she began at Nevermore and began taking outcast centered classes. That's when she knew she wanted to teach those subjects.

She has always had a desire to be a leader. It was her mentor at Nevermore who pushed her to get her principals license and apply for the position of headmistress when it opened up.

The scar above her lip is from her first year teaching. She was taking a student to the lycanthropy cages and they turned before she got them inside.

She had a critical mother and father. This led her to be hyper independent and over critical of herself. She attributes most of her success in life to this, but she is aware of how negatively it impacts herself.

She struggles to open up emotionally with most people.

She loves to go out with the other teaching staff for a drink or two at the end of the week.

Most of her life revolves around work, so most of her relationships are acquaintanceships or distant friendships.

While she spends a lot of time working, most of it is her going above and beyond. She plans and works more than she needs to in the first place.

She doesn't find herself unattractive, but she certainly doesn't think she is as attractive as you might tell her she is.

She sometimes snores but she will vehemently deny that she does

She takes forever to get ready in the morning, but she doesn't see it as a burden. She loves every second of it.

She wouldn't notice if someone had a crush on her, nor would she recognize most types of flirting. Typically, she just sees people as being friendly.

She gets flustered easily when you first start dating.

She tries not to tell people about her abilities. She worries people won't trust her or will ask her to shapeshift if they find out.

While she does have many bitter emotions towards Morticia, she misses her quite often. They were a wonderful duo that complimented each other well.

Larissa is not a fan of PDA, but won't hesitate to tell people you are both together. She loves to talk about you as she is very proud to be with you.

She loves TEA (sometimes coffee), but simply getting her to drink water is a challenge. Often she will say, "There is water in my tea/coffee. I don't need to drink water."

Because you are with her, you both attend many official dinners or conferences together. Due to this, you have developed a bit of a secret language with one another. Certain looks, glances, or pinches on the arm are different methods of silent communication.

She is a wonderful person, but she does enjoy people watching and occasionally poking fun at others. Her snide comments are only for you to hear though.

She understands technology to a certain extent. Loves games like Candy Crush or Solitaire, but will sit and listen to you explain social media to her. She refuses to download the apps no matter how many times you ask.

She is a frequent patron of the arts. Loves having art around her home, enjoys theater, and never is without a new novel in her purse.

She loves ABBA, Madonna, and Fleetwood Mac. Her favorite ABBA album is Voulez-Vouz

She has a tradition to watch every mamma mia movie at least once a year. Regardless if you like it, you will have to watch it with her. There will be singing along, the occasional quoting of the movie, but never interruptions that involve criticism of this 'timeless masterpiece' - Larissa's words

She is argumentative as hell. You have never been right and never will be right.

She is stubborn and competitive. She wants to be the winner of everything (even if it's not a competition).