#questions would make my night
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i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad
happy pride month lol
#pico's school#tankmen#fnf fanart#fnf#fnf pico#moon art#feel free to roast me for my weird design decisions#or ask me questions abt my design decisions! pls talk to me about my art it would make me happy. my askbox is always open#tankdad#friday night funkin#pico newgrounds#pico fnf#friday night funkin'#tankman#sergeant john captain#tankmen captain#tankmen steve#steve tankmen#daddy dearest#fnf daddy dearest#newgrounds#i posted sketches of him to ng last year but he looks so much better in these that the old pics make me cringe lol#this was a lot of time and effort for what amounts to glorified doodle sheets but. listen.#had to introduce him to y'all properly before i potentially go stupid go crazy with him#cw smoking#cw alcohol#edit: yall goin nutty damn. someone on ng called him a dilf too its fucking over#1k
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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I like the idea of red not really. Realizing that his feelings for green are romantic until they're like. Adults. Even after they reconcile and he comes down the mountain he's kinda operating under "we're best friends" assumptions. Not bc internalized homophobia or anything but he just. Can't tell the feelings apart. He doesn't have any friends other than green as a kid and as a teen he lived on a mountain alone so. All the feelings of loneliness and longing for green very well could be now you're supposed to feel about your Good Buddy in his mind. I think green realized way earlier that he Liked red and it did freak him out. So after they reconcile and green has given him a whole speech about needing red in his life and how only red understands him and completes him n whatever he's like. Ahh it feels so good to confess my feelings...only for red to nod sagely and tell him I feel the same. I need you too. You'll always be My Best Friend.
#i dknt have a reaction image that can sum up how green felt at thay momsnt#they talk it out eventually but for one moment green wonders why arceus would make a fool of him like this#reguri#trainer red#trainer blue#althouvh he is green TO ME#do you see my vision. when gou have no other frame of reference all feelinfs can be platonic#eben if you lay awake thinking kf them at night. and feel sixk when theyre nice to other people.#and want to die jf you think they have a crush on someone else. those are just bff feelings.#see j djdnt know you could be gay until i was asked if i wad bc i wouldn't stfu about my best friend. it just didnt cross my mind.#so red js going through smyh similar.#he just didnt have anyone to ask him the “are yoy a lesbian or somethinf” question#also once he realizes they are romantic hes like oh that makes sense. theres no denial stage just#being unaware and then acceptance and revelation.#blue oak#green oak
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TFA Arachnus Prime
#maccadam#transformers#poll#smash or pass#request#arachnus prime#optimus prime#tfa#god the things i would let him do to me#i need to see my beloved upstanding sweetheart optimus tormented and emo. for my mental health.#its so rude that we never got to see this in an episode proper mannnnn#like. this will break him. but i need to see HOW he acts when hes broken#does he oean into being evil? does he go to megatron like blackarachnia did? how hard does he cling to his faith in the autobots?#what will it take for that faith to shatter beyond repair? this is mr 'cogs in the great autobot machine'#who cannot see how heartbreaking that sentiment is#would being cast aside and treated as lesser; as a wretched and disgusting THING by the society he swire to protect do it?#enough to make him start questioning the history he threw himself so wholly into learning?#and whats his dynamic with megatron in a world where he works for him? does megs recognize the respect optimus craves? feed into it?#does he remember his name in a galaxy who sees him as only a terrible beast? is it all to string him along into getting his way?#does he know hes being played? does he bother caring?#these are the questions that keep me up at night#anyway snag me in your web and lay eggs in me daddy 💖💖 bite me like a dirty little bug 💖💖💖💖💖💖
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Ok but how is Thailand about to bestow upon us the fourth (that I know of) mafia-themed BL meanwhile Japan hasn't deemed to put out any yakuza-themed shows since the one they de-yaoi-fied into bromance? How is this the world we live in? Travesty. Fucking Travesty. Get your shit together, Japan. :(
#my dear gangster oppa#unforgotten night#red peafowl#kei x yaku#kinnporsche#listen they don't even have to make it dark and edgy#they can totally make it silly and lighthearted if they want#the first couple volumes of honto yajuu would be perfect for a mini series#literally just put a cute twink in some questionable fashion and make him roll his r's a lot#it'd be so easy!
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hello radiant emperor fandom. i heard you guys like dark historical fantasies about genderqueer warlords and their ruthless pursuit of Revenge and/or The Throne… well let me put you onto something:
need more emo femboys with daddy issues? doomed siblings? lord/vassal dynamics? romantic stabbing? corruption arcs? sexy masochism? you 🫵 should consider reading
Requiem of the Rose King by Aya Kanno
loosely based off Shakespeare's Henry and Richard plays, this manga follows intersex protagonist Richard III (yes he has straight black hair with the bangs covering one eye. yes it’s to hide his heterochromia) through England's War of the Roses.
(he is so cute don't you just want to see him snarling and covered in blood. don't you want to see him slowly abandon his ideals in a desperate bid to be accepted by the world that shunned and demonized him.)
battle, bloodshed, and court politics ensue! also because it's a shoujo manga, Richard becomes the psychosexual obsession of most of the male cast and engages in a toxic doomed relationship or two.
this is not a series for those looking for good queer rep, but perfect for anyone who wants to read about beautiful criminally insane people tearing each other's throats out and being horny about it. it is fun, violent, melodramatic, sexy, and utterly devastating. and although it is tonally very different from TRE, it has so many similar ingredients that i think it deserves to be on your radar. actually it deserves to be on everyone's radar, it's so fucking good and doesn't get anywhere near the attention it deserves...
yea there is an anime that is unforgivably ugly and so heavily censored it's a mystery why they even bothered to adapt it. would not recommend it at all but i guess you can watch it if you want, i am not the police.
actually no i changed my mind. Aya Kanno's work is stunning and deserves to be appreciated. ok case rested.
#the radiant emperor#swbts#rotrk#requiem of the rose king#shoujo manga#for posterity i am reiterating: the rep is not good this is not an authentic or realistic portrayal of intersex experience/identity#not to mention a handful of other questionable elements that i'm not going into here bc this is a rec post#regardless i think this series will hit for anyone who enjoys narratives that explore gender and dysphoria#not all of those hits are bullseyes but i still had a great time. no regrets would sob my eyes out in the middle of the night again#originally i wanted to make a general rec post for rotrk#but most of my followers are tre people so nobody else will see it anyway 👍#anyway thanks for coming to probably my most niche self-indulgent post yet#please nobody report me for nipple
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I'm not including a situation where someone might be injured because in that case I'm thinking the bed goes to them by default or they are nominated for it. anyone who wants to be chatty goes to join the living room floor gang.
What are your thoughts and headcanons? Do you have thoughts on how the boys tend to approach assigning beds in inns? Who do the chain choose to sleep near when camping and why? What are their dynamics like when settling down for the night and getting ready for the day?
In "Mirror Vs Open Closet Door: Fight!" by Gintrinsic (here) Four refers to the chain's decision on how to split up between inn rooms as the "Link-per-room ratio" which I find very funny. He, Sky, and Time also talk about their thought process behind why they do or don't want to sleep in a room with some of the others which I find fun and interesting.
So! If you have thoughts and want to share them! *gestures to the post!*
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#alrighty! now for my answers-#for the ranch question I think it varies which is why I'm asking in a poll. What do you think happens most often though?#each answer is a fun scenario so it's difficult to choose#but I think they'd try to act politely around Malon and Time for the first couple visits with straws or rock paper scissors#or showing generosity by offering the bed to someone else. (I bet Malon saying they're charming is quite the incentive#for more possible compliments. The chain as a whole would want to prove her right xD )#Once they're more comfortable in the house though I can totally see Wind and Legend making a mad dash for it while Wars yells after them xD#Wind probably ends up sharing with Four a lot since they're the littles#or Wind snuggles in with Wars Legend Wild etc#Wild and Twi/Wolfie have claimed the spot on the floor by the fireplace.#For inn rooms / castle rooms / camping - I tend to group them by how they're grouped a lot already#but a lil mixed up#Time - Sky - Wars are the good rest trio. they want a good night's rest please let them get their beauty sleep. often joined by Four#Wars goes between this group and wherever Legend is depending on how chatty he is that night.#Twi - Wild - Hyrule are snuggle/proximity buddies#Legend is attached to Hyrule's hip or sets up near Warriors to gossip and gripe. I can also see him setting up near Wild#in the eye of the storm as it were or just an interesting place to be. Wild and Hyrule can get to chatting about everything and anything#so if Legend wants background noise (Hyrule and Wild podcast omg)-#or a conversation he can be half a part of and jump in and out of while getting ready for the night or in the mornings-#this is a good place to be. add Wind and things get a bit more chaotic.#Wind gravitates to Wars and Legend too when curious and chatty. He gravitates towards Time when he wants something calmer.#Four tends to be near Sky or Twi or to Legend's group for the same reasons#I can see Four and Twi having a little book club going during downtimes where they talk about what they're reading. Sky likes to listen. <3#Wind thinks they're nerds but so is he and he can't resist a good story so he orbits and sometimes settles in and peppers questions.#it's funny that Time Sky and Wars want to sleep the most but Legend follows Wars to chat (and ends up bringing people with him xD )#there could be some conflict there oooo#Twi is by Time#it's almost a circle but with clusters of sleeping bags near on top of each other and filling the gaps
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Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.
The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.
"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."
And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.
Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.
That person was a child.
I was a child.
It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.
I'm not ashamed.
I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.
I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.
If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.
#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child#for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but#pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard?#i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age#but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all#and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected#and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement#and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw#until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge#in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug?#i would. a million times over.#anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright#its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam#irl#personal
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since more of like the class swap etc started going up every once in a while there will be a question in my inbox that would take me literally multiple comics' worth of art to answer adequately lol. and I don't wanna do that under an ask I want that to have its own space! so if I don't answer ur question know that it's probably that^ above there and not that I think ur question sucks
#not art#I know I got a weird way of going about this stuff but that's me babeyy and it's my house <3#example of this that already happened on the blog is when someone asked abt pretty much just All of class swap baron#and I was like. well I'm gonna like draw that and make comics and stuff lol#I don't think I can draw like a hard line around what I'll reserve for writing about and what I'll answer in an ask etc#bc like I'm cool with talking abt the general concept and arcs I have in mind for the bad kids/player characters#and abt like the process of figuring it out and bouncing ideas off of folks#but there's a point above that where if u get to it's just. I might as well send u a lore bible or recreate the whole show for u ykwim#so yeah this is just to let u know that Im not like spiting u personally if ur question doesnt get answered#(would be a weird thing for me to do regardless tbh!)#honestly pat urself on the back lol u've hit a jackpot on subjects I Want to get to in the form of art and/or writing#I'm not an idea guy! I'm a guy who makes comics and stuff. that's how I'm approaching this (and everything else really) u get me#cool! cool. I sleep now hopefully. have a good night lads
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Sitting here wishing my ADHD was more severe just so people could realise I actually have a problem-
#adhd#probably adhd#undiagnosed neurodivergent#undiagnosed adhd#stuff like this makes me doubt if i have adhd at all#i tried to explain how when i was doing my gcse preparations i would take a day to do an essay#“oh it takes us a whole week”#NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN#I HAD A WEEK TO DO IT BUT I LEFT IT TO THE LAST DAY#ON THE LAST DAY I COULDNT PROCESS THE QUESTION#I KNEW WHAT IT WANTED. I KNEW WHAT I SHOULD WRITE. BUT I ALSO DIDNT#i love english. both language and literature#but it would take me hours to even work out what i was supposed to write unless it was under timed exam conditions#when it was timed the panic would put me into hyperdrive#but i only realised last night that maybe taking a full day to work out what to write on a simple essay might not be normal#but then people point out that this kinda thing is normal and i just. dont know.#do i have adhd or am i just giving myself excuses for being slow#or do i expect others to be so much faster and see myself as slow in comparison#im so sure i have adhd but i dont know either
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I love the designs of the Styraphants so much, can I have permission to use them in my d&d campaign? :D
Dude HECK YES!!! As long as I get an update on the shenanigans!
#yall can always use my drawins for dnd night i know how hard good refs can be to find#ive drawn so many tabletop critters it makes my head spin#and to answer your other question maybe? they talk in a lot of infrasound so they would have to strain to get up to human vocal range
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thank you for the tag @simplyjustsimping 🧡
choose an artist you like and use the name of their songs to answer this as close to the truth as possible!
name of the artist: The Band CAMINO
what is your gender? Hush Hush
describe yourself: I Spend Too Much Time In My Room
if you could go anywhere, where would it be? Heaven
describe your best friend: Honest
your favorite time of day: Never A Good Time
if your life was a tv show, what would it be called? Just A Phase
what is life to you? Haunted
relationship status: See Through
what do you fear? Fool Of Myself
I tag @lokiawriter @asxitxis @yesterdayorcenturiesbefore @potato-jem @newtness532 @idealism-sits-in-prison @tea-time-with-dragons @planetsoupo if y’all want to do it!
#I Spend Too Much Time In My Room was too perfect of an answer for that question#not so sure about the answers for gender and time of day lol#hush hush cause I don’t talk about it anywhere other than here and with my best friend#and then never a good time cause literally none of the other song titles would make any sense#my fav time is night time tho lol#tagged#the band camino
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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there are a couple changes i would make to the keyboard if i could:
wiggly exclamation mark
bleeding heart emoji
varying snake emojis (more poses would be fun)
question mark with a little heart for the dot bc, well,
more explosions
and that is all thank you
#just me hi#i need these a lot#wiggly bc it makes a lot of sense#i am saying something but with a sort of ~~~~~~ to it!!#/bleeding heart because the other night (it musta been about 3 a.m.) i was looking for an emoji to really get my point across and i sadly#realized that i had imagined the existence of it. the disappointment was immense <//3 hfhs#/SNAKES. need i say more? :>#do i know a lot about them? not yet. am i scared of them? yes. but i love them a lot thanky#/i am asking a question but it's with love#<3#/explosion emoji my beloved#we NEED to diversify hfhsvb#a mushroom cloud would be cool :3 or one that clearly has shrapnel in it#or one with a little heart that's like the exploding head emoji. because it's like that#i'm mentioning hearts a lot bc the heart is willing but the brain is. trying#//anyway in the other newsings i'm remaking those pi.e refs again lmao 👍#ik they're only so many months old but man i changed some of the designs a bit during those months hfhs#funny how i made refs because i thought 'oh i haven't changed their designs in forever - it's not like it'll happen anytime soon yea?'#and then..........#oath's design has changed the most minimally during these - how many ? two‚ three-ish years - so i thought Ahh nothin'll happen#but Then--#aura has morphed So many times - she was at least 3 different people before i actually Got her so hfvhs <3#kinda knew that would happen. but she's actually changed the least so Lollll#hid's usual look has not changed at All - only his actual form‚ which i tweak every second day or something#and i've neglected kira so badly fvfsh - so now i've added and removed and swapped things for her in worldrecord time ! i think i've got he#in a way i like though so :D#but bc of all these changes now i gotta make new refs bc they are Inaccurate#not a big deal. but oh it IS#wonder how long it'll take me this time lol :) only one way to know ehegh#//anywho ciao ! i've got the things and stuffs to be doing.. ooo toodles :33
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larry's tag about kurokara looking back on going around the summer festival together and realizing it was basically a date is making me chuckle bc it wouldn't be the only instance of kuroba inviting karamatsu out on what's essentially a date before they're a couple ( not even during that summer. )
#after the yokohama beach trip shenanigans they're casually like#'' hey actually i'm going to this english rose garden before heading back to tokyo tomorrow do you wanna come? ->#you can stay the night at my parent's i'm sure they wouldn't mind & i'm sure ochoujii would love to see you. :) ''#and then they wonder why the rest of their family repeatedly questions if they're dating that night#LIKE. BUD. COME ON.#they get a partial free pass bc the autism + demi combo makes realizing romantic feelings hard to notice in the moment#<- speaking from experience#but also. god damn.#later on when they tell erika about how they have feelings for kara she goes '' eXCUSE ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY??? ''#the matsuno side of this is very funny too bc they all immediately recognize it as a date and tell kara to fuck off when he accepts to go#like yeah whatever go frolic through the gardens together TRAITOR we hope you poke your finger on a thorn & sleep for a thousand years#kara realizes it could be a date too but he's kinda accepted that kuro doesn't mean anything romantic by it#he loves hanging out with them and he does love roses too so why would he refuse?#his ass would 100% be running through 500 different romantic daydreams between them the entire time tho#kurokara makes me sick i can't sTAND THEM 😭 /pos#hopefully this makes sense bc i'm about to pass out#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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god i hate everyone
#who thought it would be cute to immediately start ribbing me about how hairy and bald and ugly im gonna be when i go on t#one. im taking minoxidil. two. i wanna be hairy. and three. im not transitioning to attract you guys im transitioning to attract other trans#people! other trans guys find it hot come on!#like ok so dads brother is out here rn right#so first mom tells me hes gonna ask me questions about being trans. ok fine.#second she starts going on about how i had to be emotionally vulnerable with like 3 different therapists for this. whatever.#then when i start participating in the conversation she immediately asks “so how are you feeling about losing all your hair”#THEN she has the audacity to say to my uncle “yeah its sort of a gamble hes either gonna end up hairy like the italian side or fairly#baby smooth like yall“ when she fucking KNOWS that im dysphoric about my lack of body hair#and this happens every time! and its out of nowhere constantly!#all the while the cis men in the room are fucking bullying me with all this toxic masculinity bullshit!#sometimes i just wish i had never come out is all im saying#kept this a secret until i became an adult yknow. yeah i would have to do everything myself but it wouldn't be like this#just because i told you that you could call me a fag doesnt mean youre suddenly allowed to do microagressions constantly#shes tickled to fucking death with calling my future bottom growth my “teenie weenie” what the fuck! what the fuck!!!#and meanwhile every time i try to say words or make a joke my dad and grandpa jump on the fucking opportunity to correct me! or cut me off!#sorry im fucking exhausted i barely slept at all the night before last and got i think maybe 7 hours of sleep at most last night#and i just got out of therapy which always wears me out
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