#queer for queer's sake and nothing else

[live-from-flaturn]

I think one of my favorite details of specifically Thai BL/GL is the regular use of casual clothing. I know it’s probably for budgetary reasons in many cases, but it’s still such a huge breath of fresh air to see characters wearing basketball shorts, t-shirts, and sandals when they’re just hanging out. 

Like, damn. Those are real people. This is a real queer experience (aside from the 800 buckwild tropes happening in the background) where the relationship basics of communication and support are always present and relevant to the narrative. 

It gets so annoying to watch American, European, or pretty much any other Asian drama series and see every character constantly dressed to the nines. Super cute and fashionable outfits during the day followed by matching pajama sets or ‘sexy cute’ pajama combos a la Bella Swan from Twilight (2008) during the night. 

It’s so nice to watch KinnPorsche or Between Us or Secret Crush on You and see everyone looking real and comfortable.

[scarycranegame]

you know kosa is a horrible fucking idea when even the kids it's claiming to protect are rallying against it

[designernishiki]

hot take but. oda is honestly one of the most interesting prominent side characters in y0 to me. like. don’t get me wrong obviously i don’t condone his actions, but speaking as a character design guy, i think he’s got a whole lot of complexity to think about in his story and identity that people tend to ignore/overlook because he’s not a black and white “good” person. like no shit he’s morally fucked, that doesn’t mean his intense pining and crazed level of dedication to tachibana and the lengths all his guilt and repressed love for the man he saw as the best thing to ever grace his life drove him to aren’t interesting to think about– if anything it makes him more interesting. he was. really something

[hestzhyen]

Sunken Ships and SoRiku

Hi internet void. I went feral and maybe you'll read the result.

KH has made a lot of choices around SoRiku from a narrative perspective that, in isolation, wouldn't amount to much. A heart-to-heart here, a questionable line there, and so on. The usual things that one would do to court a queer shipping audience in an otherwise het or unromantic work. And SoRiku circles have painstakingly documented every instance to show something that looks more like a consistent and intentional effort rather than a few dollops here and there to keep shippers engaged. There's... a lot. But one stupid, insignificant thing really shook me up and made me a believer in SoRiku Endgame, Actually.

Silly as it is, it's Nomura's reaction to people shipping RikuNami that gets me the most.

Generally speaking a writer doesn't want to interact with fandom shipping unless it's to urgently course correct. As in it would be catastrophic to the narrative if the fandom had the wrong idea. Otherwise it's best to just take note of how people are interpreting things and adjust the next installment accordingly, or live and let live. Keep distant and don't risk accusations of retconning/bad writing/queerbaiting in bad faith. So the normal reaction from Nomura seeing people get excited over RikuNami would have been to just do nothing. But instead, the scene was patched to downplay the smile, and Nomura went on the record to clarify that it's not a setup for a romantic relationship between Riku and Namine.

That's insane.

Why is it so important that Riku remain romantically uninterested in a girl he'd have a natural connection to, huh? What about accidentally implying RikuNami was so detrimental to the story that it was changed and explicitly addressed like that? Even if it wasn't meant to be, surely letting it play out like AkuRoku did would be enough. Just gently clarify and move on with the story (which pretty much sunk the ship on it's own anyway). You don't wade into fandom shipping and launch nuclear warheads like Nomura did against RikuNami unless you want to leave no room for doubt.

Torpedoing RikuNami also doesn't help them keep up appearances in terms of straightness at this point. Leaving it intact would only help the case of Riku and Sora being bffs with the strongest bond 5ever- a huge boon for the writing team if they wanted to avoid things looking too gay. Nomura et. al. are absolutely aware of the impressions and jokes about how gay KH is. And KH definitely would not be the first series to play in to queer ship teasing for the lols until it's time to pair everyone up at the end.

But they did the one thing you're not supposed to do if you're just aiming to queerbait: undermining the plausible straight ship. You don't eliminate the only straight option for your character like that for the sake of "he so gay" jokes! Having a straight option available is vital to make the bait; they don't have to be compelling or important to the story, they just have to exist. Yet at this point, Riku's only option is Sora. They went out of their way to ensure we wouldn't think anything else makes sense for him.

Holy. Shit.

[guzhufuren]

Queer Love Shows I Am Grateful To This Year

2024 was special for me because there were 4 dramas in this year that finally made qls enter my personal top of all time favourite tv shows, the list that no qls ever actually managed to break into before, in all my 5 long years of watching them

Love for Love's Sake

thank you for healing my decade and a half of suicidality, horrible depressive disorder and defeatism and giving me eternal abundance of hope for life. thank you for fixing me like nothing else was able to. this show is the best most precious thing to have ever happened to me and i can never thank it enough

Meet You At The Blossom

thank you for making my 4 year long dream of having an uncensored gay chinese wuxia come true. and thank you for catering to my taste perfectly, even adding all the things that i love the most there as a bonus: crossdressing, excellent romcom and toxic yaoi

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

thank you for giving me my biggest comfort show, the coziest story to lighten a bad day and bring a smile on my face, showing me a story full of kindness and sweetness about normal everyday people, and thank you for giving me my first gl beautiful enough to add to the personal treasury of favourite qls

The Spirealm

thank you for giving me one of the most incredible and coolest shows i have ever had the honor of watching, defying the chinese censorship, bringing inspiration to the industry and most importantly wonderfully unlocking my biggest kink i didn't even know about

[route-to-eutopia-if]

Route to Eutopia - New WIP IF

DEMO(28K) I CHARACTER DOSSIERS I PLAYLIST (TBA)

You have one year left to live.

But are you afraid of dying? Probably not. Since you don’t even know how to live your life. You have been hidden away from public eye since young. And the only friend you have is an Alter, humanoid species born to only serve other people and nothing else. Alters live so ‘people like you’ could live.

That makes the two of you. Alive. But never here. Never lived.

If opportunities arise, would you take a chance to change it? Only you can answer.

In a world where feeling nothing at all is better than letting your emotions rule over you, your choice to break those rules and make a change will paint a new shade of history that no one ever could. 

Hidden behind shut doors to live your quiet life as a secret child of Bastien Palmer, Sole Leader of Eutopia paradise, you never experience anything except for repeating the same old routine your entire life. You are the existence which should not be known, not just for the reason that you are the byproduct of your father and his secret lover. But also because of your frightening ‘Alter-like’ eye color, most of it is silver like any Stargaze–but nevertheless… tinted shamefully by crimson streaks.

You are told to stay away from public eyes for the sake of Palmer’s reputation in which you feel obliged to. However, your life of peaceful solitude will never be the same again after tonight…

Route to Eutopia is a violent dystopian loosely-conceptual interactive story where you are a bystander surrounded by The Chosen One of your own choice. You are to designate whether this story will head towards the direction of mutual peace between Alters– a human-like species believed to be plagued by uncured disease since birth– and Stargazers —a group of survivors whose ancestors once lived on a faraway planet before an inevitable disaster occurred and forced them to flee into another dimension, or towards a doom fate that cannot be reversible.

To be noted; RtE is a heavily-relationship based game (not necessarily in platonic/romantic sense) each of your interactions with any character will determine the tone and purpose of their motivation. Any choice you have chosen, make sure to embrace the consequences of your action at your own expense.

With that being said, it is also worth mentioning that you don’t need to engage into a romance or specific relationship with any character to complete the story.

RtE also rated 18+ for strong language, suggestive contents, disturbing topics such as racism, sexism, discrimination against queer people, explicit descriptions of violence, murders, drug use and sexual behaviors of certain characters with optional intercourse scenes.

Setting

RtE takes place in a post-apocalypse society where the concept of time is lost and any history known was only speculations at best and rumour at worst. Trying to maintain their sense of utopia, Stargazers built and operated their space colony as a temporary base for self-preservation (in which only fews know details about) called ‘Eutopia’. 

In this dystopian paradise people’s sole purpose of living was fixated on surviving. And in order to do that, the whole population creates a solid ground rule not to let themselves ‘feel’ about other emotions that do not serve for public favors. Hence, you will be challenged to adapt to several situations and handpick the best flavor of your actions based on the emotions you have learnt or developed from your surroundings.

Who do you play as?

For now, you will be playing as a secret child of Bastien Palmer, the leader of Stargazers who already has a wife and two other perfect children, your younger sister and brother. Ones you have never interacted with nor you ever get the chance to.

MCs subjectively considered a white sheet which you can paint anything on by your preferences. Explore the world full of colorful emotions or bottomless pit of numbness by your own choices. 

But remember, Eutopia is a place where everything goes according to one simple rule ‘To survive’ hence the marriage between a man and woman will be set as the norm and only truth, and someone who will state otherwise must face and suffer the ugliness of social standards accordingly. However, I do not encourage any transphobic/homophobic behavior of the characters in this story. Please kindly be assured of that.

There might be a chance where you can start off as other characters, that is, however, still a subject-to-change matter as of now.

Introduction to the Chosen Ones [ ROs]

**Please be aware of mild spoilers below**

Vegaris (M/F) 19 Star-crossed lovers or Nemesis route, The Rebel.

They would do anything to survive, even if it means to betray the only person who trusts them deeply… like you.

Vegaris is an Alter who has so many sides hidden behind closed doors. Unpredictable, cunning, hot and cold are the words that describe them best. Due to their traumatic childhood (much like other Alters on Eutopia), they have a deep-root hatred for Stargazers. Although they were brought in by your family and treated almost the same as one of your father’s own kids. They still witness the unfairness of being an Alter in society and never afraid to point the wrong in other people’s doings. 

Their usual mask, however, is one where you cannot crack open that easily. They always remain calm and composed in front of you, and only show their fangs when circumstances arise.

Dana/Darren Regency (M/F) 22 Childhood friends, Forbidden route, The Face.

For a person who seems to be easy to read as much as an open-book, they sure talk with silence better than with their own voice.

A poster girl/boy for Regency Academy. Your former childhood friend (for some unknown reason, they're trying their hardest to avoid you) and an only child to the Head of Deans at Regency, Sandalphon. They are the precise image of how one should raise a Stargazer. Being a honor student. A model citizen. And a perfect ideal partner. They are assigned to be married with the most capable genetic-wise fiancé. As popular as they appear to be to the public, their private life (as private as it can be) is still a gigantic loophole for most imprudent reporters trying to catch even just a glimpse.

It seems like what they are trying to avoid is not just you, but the entirety of Eutopia.

Sandalphon Regency (M/F) 40 Age-difference, Single-parent route, The Pacifist.

Do you believe in something just because it's true, or it becomes the truth only when you believe in it?

Sandalphon is the most powerful influence among the deans of Regency. A group of people that has control over governing matters even beyond that of Bastien Palmer, the President. For Sandal, they are anything and everything people could ever ask for in a Regency. Kind, generous, well-versed with every branch of knowledge in the universe. Never wrong in anything. And never judge anyone based on their bias.

If only people knew the truth, they’d probably beg to differ.

Maybe they are just good at hiding beneath that gentle facade, maybe a calculated mind with strings to pull works best with neutral suggestions... who knows?

One more hidden character will be revealed in the demo, Into the Madness route, The Savior.

[ Classified info. ]

**There will be two sub ROs and flings to be introduced later in the story.**

More info will be announced.

Demo 1st update : 24/01/2024 Chapter 1 (28k codes excluded)

Datalog is completed roughly til the end of the story. Coding and polishing will certainly take time. Any more updates will be announced solely on this blog.

Reblogging is appreciated. Thank you!

[h50europe]

BUCK / TOMMY - HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A FANDOM SCORNED!

I did some thinking. Never good, but my brain can't wrap around the breakup that came out of the left field.

Recently, it was announced that a spin-off of "9-1-1" is in the works. While no locations have been finalized, Hawaii and Las Vegas have been suggested as potential settings. The showrunner is already working on the project, with filming set to begin in March 2025.

However, one of my biggest fears has come true: the focus of the showrunners is being diverted from the current show to concentrate on this new spin-off. All the energy runs in the new project. Also, at this point, we don't know if the mothership will be renewed. Without an early renewal, we must wait until May for the announcement. That is another reason why they are focusing on the new show. I wonder if this is why the plots feel rushed and repetitive. It's nice to revisit the past, but not ad nauseam. 9-1-1 does it too often lately. What's the point in bringing back Gerard and turning him into the butt end of a joke? What's the point in digging out Abby's Tommy and hanging it around Tommy Kinard's neck when nothing was ever mentioned in the past. The focus is clearly not on the current show. It feels like Tim abandoned the ship to board a new one. It's fresh, it's crisp, it leaves room for a lot of things. Even if the breakup was meant as a shocker. If your focus is somewhere else, you don't see it. Right now, the mothership is leaking and starting to sink. If Tim keeps his focus on the new project and isn't invested in the current show, the lights will go out sooner rather than later.

Bringing in an established character was probably the biggest mistake Tim could have made if he wasn't meant to stick around. Bring in Mary Sue or Marty Stu to be a LI but not a character with a history that connects to so many people on the show. You can't sideline them forever. Especially as Buck's bi-arc was announced as something big. And it was big. A bit too big to be treated the way it was. The fanbase that had built around TEVAN, or BUCKTOMMY, within weeks, was massive. It drew so many members of the queer community into the show. Suddenly, many of them felt seen. Tommy and Buck were different from the other queer characters out there. Different from what was represented on any other show. People were willing to watch to get the slightest glimpse of them. Because they felt real. Their chemistry shot into the stratosphere.

And then you go and end it on such a horrible note? I don't care if the haters call Tommy a plot device. Everyone on the show is one at some point—even Christopher, Eddie, or anyone else from the main or recurrent cast, Karen, for instance, the Wilson kids. You name it. Tommy Kinard came, saw and conquered. So why not give him more room? They did it with Taylor (yes, I know JLH was pregnant then, but that's reason enough? I doubt it). As I said in my other long post, you could cut in a sequence of 5 minutes and show a summary of Tommy's and Buck's life.

Tim makes the same mistake as many showrunners do. Cramming a shitload of plots into 42 minutes of airtime. Is it really necessary to tell that many stories in such a short amount of time? That feels like speed dating. You blink, and you miss an important scene. Every episode, you jump from plot A to B to A to C to B. We didn't have this fast pacing in season 1 or 2. Stop it. Make Quality plots over quantity stuff.

In Tommy's voice: And for God's sake, clean up that mess you created with that shitty breakup, or the audience will wither away.

I'm sorry. I could write a book about what is happening in my head. You'd get Super Brownie points if you made it here.

[unfinishedslurs]

stonathan fwb (steddie)

this one is inspired by this fic by fivecenturiesverse

“Nancy and I broke up.”

“Shit,” Steve says, somehow managing to sound surprised. As if he and Nancy weren’t teetering on the verge of something throughout spring break. “That sucks, man.”

“It…was a long time coming, I think,” Jonathan admits. There’s a soft thump, like Steve clapping Jonathan’s shoulder in solidarity. 

They don’t say anything else, and Eddie almost leaves to go eavesdrop somewhere else when Jonathan speaks. 

“Are you…going to do anything about that?”

“About what?” Steve asks, genuine confusion in his voice. 

“Nancy.”

“Oh.” Steve doesn’t say anything for a moment, and Eddie braces himself to hear the truth. That he’s going to ask her out, ask to get married, ask her to have his six little nuggets and travel across the country together. “No.” 

Eddie’s brain record scratches. 

“Really?” Jonathan sounds rightfully skeptical. 

“Yeah, I don’t…” he lets out a nervous laugh, and Eddie can picture him raising a hand to scratch at the back of his head. “There’s…someone else, and I can’t…she’s amazing. Nancy, I mean. She’s, like, this huge person in my mind, you know? I wanted to love her so much, and I convinced myself she loved me back because it was easier than admitting I was clinging onto something that wasn’t meant to be. I kind of put my whole future on her. Figured if I could love any girl, it’d be the perfect one right in front of me.” He laughs again, hollow. “She was right, to call it bullshit. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“If it helps, I think she really did love you,” Jonathan says, sounding fake as all hell. 

Steve brushes him off. “No you don’t. It’s okay, it was never really real. Not like you guys. That…that really sucks, man.”

“It’s for the best, I think.” There’s a long pause. “You said…if you could love a girl, it would be Nancy.”

“…I did say that,” Steve says warily. Eddie has a feeling he really, really shouldn’t be listening to this, but he can’t bring himself to back away. 

“Do you…are you…” 

“If you’re going to be an asshole, I should tell you that I’ve been working out a lot since ‘83,” Steve interrupts. 

“I noticed,” Jonathan mutters. 

What. 

“What?”

“What?”

“I…nothing,” Steve sighs. 

There’s another, longer pause, filled with tension that Jonathan decides to take an emotional jackhammer to. “Do you want to fuck me?” 

What the fuck. 

Oh, God, he’s going to have to save Jonathan Byers from his tragically straight crush. From their mutual tragically straight crush? …their mutual tragically straight crush, who admitted to not liking girls? 

Something’s not adding up. 

“What the fuck, Byers?” Steve sounds angry, and Eddie prepares to jump in. “What, you think just because I’m queer I automatically want to sleep with you?”

What. 

“No!” Jonathan yelps. “No, that’s not it, it’s just…we’re both queer, and stuck here for the foreseeable future, and I’ve never been with a guy but I trust you.”

There’s a stunned silence. 

“You’re queer.”

Jonathan doesn’t say anything, probably dying of mortification. 

“You trust me?”

“Steve,” Jonathan says gently, and Eddie nearly bites through his tongue. “Of course I do.”

“You and Nancy just broke up,” Steve says, wavering. “And I can’t…there’s someone else. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything. You can say no. I just figured I’d ask.”

“Fuck,” Steve mutters. “You realize I’m just as in the dark here as you are, right? I’ve never been with a guy either.”

“We can find out together,” Jonathan says. “Only if you want to, though.”

A heavy silence, where Eddie has to bite his tongue to keep his cool. 

“Fuck it. Why the hell not?”

Then Eddie has to leave for the sake of his own sanity. Not before he hears the wet smack of a kiss, though. 

Eddie might be going insane. 

It’s like everywhere he looks he sees signs of Steve and Jonathan’s… development. Steve leans forward to grab something and his eyes catch on a hickey under his collar. Jonathan sits a little too gingerly one day, and Eddie’s immediately caught up in a fiery inferno of jealousy that he’s not the one sore from whatever Steve did last night. He has to leave the room. 

It gets even worse when Steve comes by DND wearing a shirt that is clearly Jonathan’s. 

“What are you wearing?” Dustin demands before he can. It’s probably a good thing he did, Eddie might have just started biting him to stake a claim. Which is a useless thought, because Steve isn’t his to claim at all. Steve is Jonathan’s. And stake a claim he did. 

He kind of wishes he could hate Jonathan, but he can’t. The guy’s just so sweet with his brother, and it’s obvious in the way he takes care of people that he’s a good guy. The kind of guy who deserves someone like Steve. Someone would have to be a crazy, fucked-up, jealous asshole to hate him. 

Eddie is all of those things. He’s also great at lying to himself. If he doesn’t admit he hates Jonathan Byers, fellow freak, for sleeping with the most unfortunately spectacular jock imaginable, he never has to confront his own failure to keep to his code. The doctrine that Steve cheerfully set on fire and then stomped the ashes into dust. All without knowing it, the asshole. 

He really can’t blame Jonathan. Eddie’s well aware that he’s made up some weird, one-sided rivalry in his head over Steve’s affections. It’s not his fault that one of them got the guy, and the other got to scream into his pillow at 2am. 

Sure, they both said they were hung up on other people, but how long would that really last? He’s fairly sure Steve was lying about having feelings for someone. Eddie can’t help but watch him, and he’s never once seen a sign Steve was interested in any of the other men he hung out with. 

Steve colors. “It’s Jonathan’s,” he says, picking at the band tee like he’s self-conscious about it. Which is ridiculous. He obviously knows he looks good in anything. “I…uh…spilled something on mine.”

From the way he talks, Eddie has a pretty good idea what exactly got on his shirt. He takes deep breaths, and tries not to chew through the table. He wishes Steve were in his band shirt instead. He’d look great in Judas Priest merch. 

He tries not to picture him in a Corroded Coffin shirt. He fails.

[devondeal]

Long Chaggie rant ahead

I think a reason Chaggie get called "boring" is that they are waayyy past that beginning stage of their relationship TV love to glamorize.

They've been together for three years and already have that comfort level with each other that not everything is a new discovery. They accept each other's differences and just support. That's what a well established relationship is like.

Of course they are still heavily affectionate and loving with each other because duh, they're in love. Society loves to repeat the bullshit "losing the spark" problem in relationships and how "marriage is so hard" but most of these situations are people that barely even like each other let alone love.

I think that's why media loves showing either beginning stage relationships OR trope-y enemies to lovers and variants of that.

ESPECIALLY in the case of queer relationships because it's only fairly recently that it's been normalized onscreen and I don't think we're used to seeing a normal queer relationship. Like think about it.

Media has always loved showing the gays as deviant and toxic because that's been the only way it was allowed to be seen. I think many of us have gotten used to seeing ourselves that way that it's been normalized.

Personally, I'm in the boat of I'm sick being seen as deviant and like it's bad and wrong thing to be in love with someone of the same sex. For me, Chaggie has been healing because it's just two women being a healthy happy couple. Something that society and even family have told me is not possible which hurts beyond words to hear.

So yeah, I love Chaggie. It is the best wlw canon ship in fucking YEARS and I have been craving representation like this. The very things that I get dirty looks at for irl, is completely normal with Chaggie.

They can hold hands, lean in together arm around shoulder, quick casual kisses in public, give each other goo-goo eyes, just general affection and couple-y behavior as well as the "been together for 3 years" quirks and routines. Like I swear I cannot remember any other wlw ship like this so yeah, it's gonna hit me hard in the feels.

And when characters like Lute and Adam are disgusted or fetishize it, it's very obviously portrayed as villainous behavior. Everyone else just accepts them as they are.

Of course it's not just the normalization of those things but specifically in the context of they've been together for 3 years and are still very much in love and have nothing to prove to each other and just face any conflicts as they come like a normal couple.

Most media especially TV have gay couples break up after that amount of time just for drama points and cuz us gays cant ever last in a long term relationship apparently 😒 And I feel like that especially goes for lesbian relationships on TV. I've seen wayyy more long terms mlm relationships than wlw in main roles.

(Wonder if that's cuz it's just so unbelievable that women could actually love each other cuz society just is so attached to the idea that all women hate each other)

Basically fuck Chaggie hate. We need more wlw long term relationships like this onscreen. I'm tired of being seen as deviant and likely to be toxic. And I'm not saying they need to be perfect. They're obviously not and have some issues but that's a good thing. Every couple has issues.

I'm just saying not all gay onscreen need to almost destroy their relationship in order to repair it.

I just really find it incredibly annoying that some will slap the "boring" label on Chaggie when it's more likely that a long term healthy happy wlw relationship is just that bizarre to them. Just let women actually love women for fuck's sake.

[iambicpentameterhamster]

What i think of you based on your favourite Six of Crows character

Matthias Helvar:

You probably read a lot in the fantasy genre and take yourself too seriously (no offense) probably busy daydreaming about profound things and writing poems that you'll eventually delete. You love bleak and gritty stories and you listen to Coldplay, Conan Gray or The Tortured Poets Department. No shade though, you guys are probably great friends with value for loyalty. In summary, i think you're all either really intense and ernest or totally shy and quiet. You're probably heterosexual to be honest.

Nina Zenik:

I think people who's favourite is Nina don't tend to be much like her in real life, but are the type of people that would really want to befriend her. I'd say you're more introverted and quietly friendly, but then you act totally different and comfortable with the right friends. Technically disapproving of gossip, but turn into Regina George if the rumour is juicy enough- secretly judgemental but it all comes out to your best friends. You have a good sense of humour and probably quite a cynical/pessimist mindset overall. I know you like campy films like Legally Blonde and Clueless. Oh, and your favourite subject is definately history.

Inej Ghafta:

If you're drawn to the steady and honest beat of Inej's thoughts, I think you're quite an anxious or scattered person who enjoys how safe and comforting she feels as a character. I'd say you're a sensitive person with a keen eye for colour and art. Your favourite chapters in SOC are definately the backstory and romance chapters. You cry often at films and music and just when you feel bittersweet or happy. You have Hozier, Mitski or Radiohead on your playlists. You're either artsy smart or english smart, there's no way your a science/maths kinda person.

Wylan Van Eck:

This one is split. You're either one of those people that infantalises and simplifies his character and reduces both him and Jesper to their ship and nothing else, OR you're literally the best person ever. If you're the latter, you're probably super empathetic and appreciate depth as well as a good laugh, and i severley doubt you yourself enjoy maths and chemistry despite loving that look for Wylan. I've also never met a Wylan stan who wasn't a HARDCORE fan of SOC in general. You guys are the loudest complainers about Shadow and Bone being cancelled, and honestly, power to you. I bet your room is a bombsite right now too- pick up those dirty clothes, for christ sake.

Kaz Brekker:

All Kaz Brekker fans are somewhat infatuated with him. Your favourite chapters/scenes are absolutely the action and sexual tension scenes. All about high stakes and excitement, and you love to be surprised. That or you have a big thing for the bad boy trope. I think you have "dark achademia" or grunge-ey pinterest boards that don't match your real life style. I also think you think chess and piano are really sexy but play neither yourself. You and your friends probably read terrible Wattpad stories for a joke. Generally, you're somehow relaxed and simultaneously intense as fuck. 70% of you are Queer women people, other 30% are intensely heterosexual.

Jesper Fahey:

You have Queen on your playlist. Queen or Gorillaz. You're probably a quite casual person who is taken with Jesper's charm and humour, and you appreciate the comedic relief as you don't enjoy too much grit and heavy stuff with no humour breaks. But despite being not the most sensitive person in the world, Jesper's backstory caught you off guard and it HURT. I think you love comedies and action, you're decent at school and you're quite popular with a good circle of friends. A social person. Potential theatre kid, but minor roles/tech, and the only musical you really like is Hamilton lmao. You are generally a funny person, but you've definately experienced that moment where you tell a joke and nobody laughs.

Anybody else:

Non-existent.

[cannibaldetective]

this has probably been talked about, but martin burning statements in s3 and it being simplified to a tantrum and his feelings for jon, erasing him as a person outside of jon and the archives shows a lot not only about martin but also elias.

martin has always been reduced to jon's plus one or jon's employee, and he wasn't even chosen by jon (not until s4). elias immediately pokes fun at him and tries to make everything about him seem as small as possible and that his association with jon is all that really matters, "of course did jon tell you to do this?" martin is not allowed to form his own thoughts according to the eye, according to elias someone who holds a mass amount of power above martin's head, his life, his job, everything he has going for him. martin even assumed that elias is going to threaten him with bad things about jon, someone who makes up a very small part of his life up until this point all because of how much he's been manipulated and controlled that it slowly makes him feel smaller, like the world he lives in is so much smaller then everyone else around him. it makes him insignificant. the lonely was always coming for him, because everyone else made it that way. then his mothers actions in his childhood is used as a weapon. this also shows once again how martins existence is reduced to another's. his father. his mother could only see his father but not the person he was. nobody has ever seen martin for the person he was (which honestly makes peter lukas manipulation in s4 worse - esp in MAG 159)

this could even be a commentary on fandom and queer ships (even ships in general, but queer ships do get this treatment a lot more imo) where the characters are entirely watered down to their ships instead of who they are as characters and their analysis is watered down to each other and only each other - and I see this a lot with martin, alongside characters like will graham, viktor, michael shelley, gerry keay, anya even marceline and bubblegum! characters and their valuable storytelling elements and lessons just are removed for the sake of shipping discourse.

elias is now shown to only care about jon, something VERY clear during the entirety of the show. he cares about the monster he can create with jon more than anything. elias isnt a cunty queen (even though we love to see him that way, which is totally fine) he is a monster, who wants to use and abuse whoever he can control. elias has always been on a power trip, even when he was jonah. he ability to just survive through the horrors has given him enough ego that it means he can do whatever he wants to whoever. elias has always wanted martin to be controlled outside of the eye. he wants him excluded, he wants him insecure, he never wanted him to feel this sense of inclusion just imposter syndrome. a feeling that he's forcing his way into things because that's how he wanted to design him. elias designed jon AND martin. he made them how he wanted.

elias being portrayed as a queer icon in fandom doesn't help but continue to reduce martin as a character, which honestly sucks.

martin deserves to whine and cry and be uncomfortable by the supernatural because for the entirety of his employment his been tortured by the idea that he isn't valuable unless he's being helpful. does this make him a people pleaser? not really. does this make him a damaged individual who for his entire life has been reduced to nothing but another person in his life? yes.

again this goes towards tma's themes of humanity and individuality, what makes you human but what makes you an individual? why are you different? why can you do what they can't?

[blushweddinggowns]

For years, there wasn't a day that went by where Tommy Hagan didn't wish he'd never met Steve. They had known each other since pre-school. They weren't exactly fast friends, but Tommy noticed Steve right away. There was just...something about him that caught his attention. Maybe it was his laugh or maybe his smile, Tommy couldn't even remember. But he noticed him.

They're not best friends, but they're in the same small group. He tries to talk to him, he may even be just the slightest bit obsessed with him, but it's not easy to get close. There was something about Steve that was just... intimidating. Maybe it was because he was kind of an intense kid to begin with, or maybe it was because the sight of him makes Tommy's heart go into overdrive. But either way, he can never cross the threshold from friendly to close.

Not that it matters, because everything changes in second grade. It's stupid he even remembers that.

But when Eddie Munson came waltzing in that year, he might as well have never existed in Steve's eyes.

None of them did, despite the fact that the small group of four boys had been close for nearly four years before he came along. Because once Steve laid eyes on that little freak it was all over. They were inseparable and had been for years. It took about a week for Steve to forget his name, and Tommy didn't know what to do with how that made him feel.

Steve looked at him the same way that Tommy looked at Steve. And it made him sick.

But then five years later Eddie moved away, and suddenly Steve was all alone again. Tommy had moved on, of course he did. He had his own friends now, he didn't need Steve Harrington. But that didn't stop him from instantly trying to become his friend again. It works, it even works better than it did last time, now that they had sports to bond over.

But the feelings were worse than they were in grade school. Tommy learned quickly that he loved his smile, he adored the sweet way he laughed, and he would do or say about anything to see it. But despite the fact that they're closer, something wasn't right. They never get to where he was with Eddie, but he convinces himself it would just take time.

Time he didn't have, because Eddie comes back, less than two years later. It takes a few months for it to happen, but soon enough Steve is right back to where he was a few years ago, following his every beck and call, and Tommy is back to not existing. He can't help but lash out about it.

He corners him in the locker room one day, hissing, "When did you decide to go gay with Munson?"

Steve shrugged, utterly nonchalant at being accused of the biggest social sin, “Who told you that?”

“Why else would you abandon us at the drop of a hat?” Tommy couldn't hide the hurt in his voice that time, and he hated how it cracked at the very end.

Not that it mattered. Steve didn't care. He barely even looked at him as he left, calling out over his shoulder,  “Believe whatever helps you sleep at night man.”

And just like that, Tommy was nothing again. Not that he cared. He moves on. He gets a girlfriend, new friends, and he doesn't let whatever weird feelings he has for Harrington affect him. Even if he's the one who starts off the rumor that their gay for each other. He only does it because it's true. Nothing more nothing less, and he's like his dad.

He's not a fan of queers. Not in his town. He just had to keep telling himself that. There's more than one time where he's close to proving that he's right.

There's one in particular, where he just knows he had been close. One day, right before practice he had seen Eddie damn near skipping away from the back of the school to the parking lot. He went back to investigate, only to find Steve smiling to himself behind the school, breathing all heavy in a way that just made Tommy's blood boil. There was even dirt on his knees for god's sake.

It infuriated him. But that was the closest he ever got to proving anything, and it hadn't amounted to jack shit. It takes years for it to actually really happen. And by then they're already out of high school. It's a weird night all around. It starts with Carol dumping him, at Lover's Lake of all places, not that it's surprising. He was a few days out from leaving for college, and the two of them had never discussed a future together. He doesn't even stop her when she decides that he should walk home, despite home being nearly five miles away.

He doesn't mind though, not really. The walk would give him time to think anyway. That's what he tries to do anyway, but all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt when he hears it, that beautiful, horrible sound.

The sound of Steve laughing. He doesn't know why he follows it, but he does. He follows it until he sees them, the Munson van parked in the middle of nowhere, the back door splayed open. He has a clear view of them from his spot on the sidelines, carefully covered by shadows.

They were cuddled up together, Steve heavily leaning into Eddie's side as they talked, "Y'know, it's kinda nice to get this for another year."

Eddie snorted at that, "There are stars in the city babe. But thank you for trying to make my failure have an upside."

Tommy watches, wide-eyed as Steve kisses him quiet, quickly muttering against his mouth, "You're not a failure. You're just academically challenged."

He does it so easily. Like he'd done it a million times before, and he probably had. Eddie just sighed, "Yeah, yeah. Potato, potatoe."

Steve kissed him again, and his second try was more effective at shutting him up. He ignored the comment, opting to lean back into his chest and point up at the stars, "Tell me about that one."

Eddie starts prattling off about whatever constellation Steve had pointed out, not that Tommy cared. He was still reeling from what he'd seen. Here it finally was, the proof he's always wanted. And the funny thing was, who gave a shit? He was leaving in a matter of days. High school was over, and unless he wanted to personally call up everyone in his yearbook to share the news, no one was going to give a shit.

It was over. And maybe that's why he can finally admit it to himself. He never cared that they were queer. He cared that it wasn't him. That no matter how much Tommy had tried to be close to Steve it didn't matter. He didn't choose him. He'd never choose him. All he wanted was to be in Eddie Munson's place, and he was never going to get it.

The realization isnt as shocking as he had expected it to be. Maybe because he had seen it coming. But it still makes him pissed. He hated Steve for that. Or at least he wanted to even if his stupid heart wouldn't let him.

But you know who he could hate? Eddie Munson. Because if he had never come back then maybe Tommy would be where he was right now. It would have taken more time sure, but at least he would have had a chance.

He'd always hate him for that. But one thing was for sure. Tommy was never going to let this happen to him again.

He leaves for college and tries his damndest to forget. He convinces himself that Steve was a fluke, an exception to the rule. Tommy was normal, he would be fine. With or without him.

He meets a nice girl, gets decent grades, and goes right into sales. They get married in 1990, their first kid in 1992, and Tommy has almost convinced himself that he's happy.

He doesn't see Steve again for years. Not until 1996. He's in Indianapolis for a conference, fresh off the plane. He stops off at a coffee shop, realizing too late what kind of atmosphere he'd walked into. The rainbow flags, the piercings, he'd somehow managed to walk into what was probably the only queer coffee shop in the city. Any other time he'd walked out by now. But he's tired, he's jetlagged, and there's no one here he knows to preform for. He just wants some caffeine.

He's waiting for his order when it happens. He's looking around the space, mindless and bored when he spots a couple curled up together in a booth, doing the Sunday crossword puzzle. It takes a minute for him to realize just why his eyes stop on them, but then one of them laughs. And it's that same god-forsaken laugh of his childhood, the same one that still sent shivers up his spine.

He almost can't believe what he sees. But it's them, Eddie and Steve, laughing it up while they scribbled into their newspaper. Steve turned his head to kiss Eddie's jaw once before going back to what was in front of him, playfully arguing over something he'd said. Tommy didn't know how long he had been staring for, but it was long enough to get caught. Eventually, Eddie looks up and catches his eye, his own widening at the sight of him. But besides that, he doesn't do anything. Tommy knows he recognizes him, but he doesn't nudge Steve. He just looks away and kisses the side of his head, his focus already back on the newspaper in front of them.

Tommy couldn't help but think that they looked...happy. A lot happier than how he felt. It made him feel ill all over again.

He leaves the coffee shop without his order, despite the fact that he had already paid. He opts to sleep his exhaustion off at the hotel, failing to get the thoughts of them snuggled up together out of his head.

He thought he would be over it by now. He was a happily married man. Two kids, a decent job. He was past this high school bullshit. But that same feeling was welling up in his chest again. That horrible jealousy, and a reminder that yes, he still hated Eddie Munson.

Because now he has to acknowledge it, a fact about his life that he had been avoiding for years. He's not happy. Not like that.

He doesn't see either of them for a long time after that. He's 49. Divorced. A good relationship with his daughter, and a strained one with his son. He's back in Indiana to take care of his mom, now that his dad was dead, though he at least got her to agree to move out of the pit known as Hawkins. They settle in a three-bedroom in Indianapolis, and it works, surprisingly. He had been so worried about introducing his mom to David, let alone them living together, but she adores him immediately. It took a few years for her to come around, but when she did it was complete.

Tommy loved her for it. And for the first time in a long time, he's happy.

It's a pretty snap decision to get tattoos of each other's names. But he did promise David he could have whatever he wanted for his birthday. It's silly and corny and something for people who were twenty years younger than him. But fuck it. You only lived once, right?

They pick a random shop walking him together one day, both of them laughing with each other as they picked out a book design. By the time they're up next, Tommy is in high spirits, which is maybe why he's so unprepared for who comes waltzing up to them.

It's fucking Eddie Munson. He introduces himself as their artist, eyes narrowing at Tommy. It takes him a second to place him, but Tommy recognizes him straight away. Despite being 50, the guy looks startlingly similar. The same long hair, now with streaks of gray. The same cocky smile, the same confident walk. There are some crow's feet and laugh lines on his face now, and maybe he moves a little slower, but it's Eddie Munson through and through.

With a brand new ring on his left hand.

Eddie doesn't come to the full realization until he has David set up in his chair, and he's literally sketching out Tommy's name onto the back of his neck.

He mumbles to himself, "Well who would have fucking thought?"

"What was that?" David asked, completely unaware of the history between the two men. Of course he was, Tommy wasn't exactly bursting at the seams to tell his long-term boyfriend about what a massive homophobe he used to be.

"Think I might know your boyfriend from high school is all," Eddie answers for him, eyes on Tommy while he disinfects the skin, "Though he was closer to my husband than he was to me."

It shouldn't have been surprising, but the question still escapes from Tommy's mouth regardless, "You guys still together?"

Eddie gives him a long look as he answers, "Since we were 16. But you knew that, didn't you?"

David grins at that. Of course, he does, completely lost to the tension pulsing between them. He's a hopeless romantic to the letter, "You've been with your husband since high school? That's so sweet!"

Eddie breaks eye contact, face relaxing, "Thirty-one years. We're one of those. But enough about me, how about we get started?"

Eddie makes small talk as he works, which just makes Tommy tense up even more, waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop, "How long have you two been together?"

"Four years," David says proudly, "Living together for two."

"Well isn't that sweet," Eddie mumbles as he changes the ink color, taking a quick chance to raise a brow at Tommy, "Who would have thought that Hagan would settle down."

"So what was Tommy like in high school?" David asked, clearly excited to meet someone from the past that he refused to talk about, "Were you guys, friends?"

"Not exactly," Eddie says, casual. Like Tommy isn't on the edge of his seat waiting for him to just say what he wants to say, "Like I said, he was closer to my husband. But they fell out of touch. Life after high school and all. Though I know he was a hell of a basketball player."

He leaves it at that, plain and simple, like his kindness for keeping his mouth shut wasn't leaving Tommy reeling. They finish their appointment in relative silence, though it ended up being less awkward than Tommy could have prayed for.

He doesn't say anything until David goes to the bathroom and he's left to pay, raising a brow at Eddie, "You didn't have to do that you know."

He snorted, "Is that your version of a thank you?"

"I am thankful but-"

Eddie interrupts him, "Look man, I just figured that over the past thirty years, you managed to change. None of my business to try and mess up what you have now." He says it with a tone of finality. Not necessarily forgiveness, but it's definite.

It doesn't stop the apology from coming out of his mouth though, "I appreciate that. I do, and for the record, I am sorry. About everything. I know it doesn't really mean shit but I am."

Eddie's face remains impassive as he hands him back his card, "Okay."

"And uh, could you tell Steve that for me too?"

That made him crack a smile, "Oh don't worry, he's gonna hear all about it. I'll let him know."

David was walking back to him by then, bright and happy while he saddled up to his side. Tommy waved as they left, hands interwoven when they went to walk home. He felt a lot of things in that moment.

Ashamed of the past, embarrassed for his behavior, and grateful that Eddie kept his mouth shut about what an asshole he had been. But there was something missing. That familiar feeling of jealousy and loathing was gone completely. He tightened his hold on David's hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his fingers, just to hear him laugh.

One thing was for sure, he didn't hate Eddie Munson anymore, not one bit.

~

a cut interlude for this fic that i thought i'd post here. It ended up closing too many doors of where the story should go, but I think it's still interesting.

[absolutebl]

Wading back into the BL world after several months away, and I would like to politely request recommendations. I'm looking for completed BL shows that are as good as Bad Buddy, have a D/s element, are supernatural, and/or are about politics like Not Me. Any or all of these combined would be lovely. I prefer Thai, but any country is fine.

You're the best!

Hi sweetie! Welcome back.

Recently completed BL, as good as Bad Buddy (I rated that a 9/10) with D/s elements, supernatural (PNR), and/or politics.

Okay so I sorted the spreadsheet of doom by year (we are in October 2024) and then ranking, and here is what I got:

Century of Love

Thai Gaga

fated mates, PNR, historical element, grumpy/sunshine, D/s hinted at but not fully executed

This is a very pretty drama about a young man who fell in love with a nice girl 100 years ago, and when she died in his arms, he was cursed to live until he could meet her reborn self. Only this time around, she’s reborn into the body of a man. Or is she? I love it when Thailand gets all up in its own historical business and reincarnation and shizz. I like this pair (it’s not DaouOffroad’s fault I didn’t enjoy their first series.) Daou’s wushu is snazzy and we got a unique meet cute. (Erm… Remeet cute? Meet cute 2.0?)

Ultimately, this is I Feel You Linger in the Air + First Love Again, rather than (as one might expect) Until We Meet Again or The Director Who Buys Me Dinner. The leads turned in great performances, although Daou outclassed everybody else on that screen. It’s a good story and a great BL and I can’t find any major faults with it beyond a certain level of camp that is sadly endemic to lakorns. Also I’m going to give it credit as the kind of BL that one could safely recommend to lovers of melodrama and historical romance, without having to qualify it as “good for a BL.”

It was, to put it succinctly, a VERY ENJOYABLE show.

Cherry Magic (Thai remake)

Thai grey

paranormal, office romance, no D/s

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth that really worked for me. With no-fuss execution from a consummate team (at GMMTV) and an OG lead pair (proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up). Look, here’s the thing,

Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right - not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it stands strong. I, personally, like the Thai BL slightly better than the Japanese live action yaoi, but I think that’s because I just really enjoy Thai BL's style and I LOVE TayNew.

Also all the kissing was both present and better in this version. As it should be from Thailand.

Cosmetic Playlover

Japan Gaga

obsession, office, tsundere/sunshine , claiming, ownership D/s but nothing more than that

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time!

Love For Love's Sake

Korea iQIYI

isekai, paranormal, high school setting, very soft, sunshine/tsundere, it's Korean so no D/s (the only one that might satisfy from them recently is bully romance Jazz for Two)

trigger suicide

Isekai-based KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances.

I personally found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, but the consistency of tone, script, and immersion is beyond the norm for BL. You will drown in this show and like it that way. The leads have fantastic chemistry and it's ultimately highly rewatchable and utterly charming, which counts for a lot.

The Sign

Thai YouTube

paranormal, soulmates, sunshine/tsundere, high heat, police procedural, every other trope, there's even some elements of D/s in there because it has...... well, everything in it

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.

Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was.

Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not.

Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing.

I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN. Emphasis on balls.

I rated it a 9/10 in 2024 but doesn't contain any of your other requested criteria

Sugar Dog Life

The Rebound

Unknown

Wandee Goodday

We Are

Sorry the D/s has been very light on the ground this year. I mean there has been some kinky stuff, but nothing even approaching BB in terms of quality. I mean Deep Night was about sex work and had a poly romance but was it...... good? Not really.

I rated it an 8/10 but at least it has kink

My Stand-in

Meet You At the Blossom

Jazz for Two

Deep Night

[austenhowe]

HEAR ME OUT cressida hc and creloise persuasion brainrot

•cressida secretly plays violin (she's quite good at it; she learned during summers with a distant aunt; period-typical belief of violin played by women = lesbianism (something something about a violin resembling a woman's body and voice); she stopped playing a year or so before her debut when her distant aunt passes away (was caught by her parents playing the instrument once at their own home and the pressure to marry her off immediately increases due to this "queer" talent/inclination)

•angst, mutual pining, misunderstanding, resentment, and some unhinged bridgerton family shenanigans for levity

maybe slightly canon divergent or fully canon divergent idk and idc (I have never and will never read the books) where she pretends to be lady whistledown and whistledown outs her as an imposter and is somehow implied as a lesbian (implied that her relationship with eloise was purely for predatory reasons)

penelope is pissed about her claiming her mantle and also understandably does not have a very high opinion of cressida so a misunderstanding is perpetuated when eloise goes to penelope crying about their "friendship" break-up; maybe cressida tries to make a move and eloise, trying to make sense of what happened, somehow leads penelope to believe that cressida had nothing but predatory intentions (unfortunately, period-typical homophobia is up in here for the plot eugh)

cressida is ruined and forced out of polite society and somehow ends up being commissioned by the queen (queen charlotte is an ALLY, okay?) as a royal violinist ? (I'm making shit up, it's for plot and hc reasons, stay with me here)

ANYWAY, years pass and she makes a name for herself, gets her freedom and her bag (I imagine she branches out of the fashion of polite society and starts experimenting with her presentation 'cause fuck everybody else) and maybe gets an official title from the queen (idk how those work but let's suspend our disbelief here)

so she makes her return to polite society after having been given a formal rank/title and cue her reunion with the bridgertons; she, of course, keeps a wide berth from eloise (due to her self-loathing and her fear of being perceived as monstrous and predatory once again)

the whole bridgerton clan is in town for the season to show a united front and show support to one of the younger ones (either gregory's or hyacinth's turn I don't care which), they attend a concerto where the featured performer is one cressida cowper (this of course attracts a HUGE crowd eager to witness her return from having fallen into disgrace just over half a decade past)

the performance is of course stunning and one of the bridgertons approach (possibly, benedict or francesca) to give their compliments and get a re-introduction (for eloise's sake ofc, she's been angsting and pining for as long as cressida has) and also of course to give an invitation to their house for tea

cue eloise pining from afar while cressida resolutely avoids her gaze (she'll fold so fast if she sees the look eloise gives her; she doesn't blame her for her misfortune (eloise blames herself for that of course)

cressida still loves her but she's been burned once and maybe she IS slightly resentful (she won't entertain even the thought of once again imposing her suit on eloise)

eloise on the other hand is resigned to her solitude (she fumbled her love match and she thinks that cressida's regard cannot be regained after having been violently exiled from society as a result of her blindness and carelessness with her words/actions)

the entire bridgerton family, on the other hand, will be doing their absolute best at scheming to get these two pining idiots together (just imagine pure comedy and catharsis from all the angsting and pining! they deserve absolute happiness goddamnit!!)

they tentatively rekindle their friendship and work towards something more and of course at the end they get their happily ever after (they become wives, have an estate, and they THOROUGHLY and UNHINGEDLY make up for lost time)

--essentially, this is persuasion (1995) where cressida is a bit like captain wentworth and eloise will be a bit like anne elliot, still privileged but a bit more subdued and a bit more practical in her spinsterhood

some banger lines from persuasion (1995): "Miss Elliot, I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been. Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago." // "I believe you capable of everything great and good. So long as, if I may, so long as the woman you love lives - and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex - and it is not very enviable one, you need not covet it - is that of loving longest when all hope is gone."

actually, throw in the whole letter captain wentworth wrote in here

they keep using jane austen's works as references these past two seasons so might as well give creloise persuasion (my beloved)

not a writer so I'm never gonna write this, it's just stuck in my brain so I had to get it out 😭, blame the show for getting me to listen to violin and piano covers for the past week; my imagination while listening to these covers ran away from me

p.s. in my head, it's the violin and piano cover of interstellar that gets the queen to basically bankroll cressida's violin career (images of the heaven and the earth along with all other space imagery that theme evokes and whatnot); also, piano and violin covers of lovely by billie eilish, such great heights by the postal service, and arcade by duncan laurence (my beloveds)

p.p.s. I know they won't be endgame but unfortunately my mind has latched on to this ship so please take this brain worm off my hands

[lover-of-mine]

Well, if we're talking controversial takes, may I share mine? If only one of them was going to come out, I think it should have been Eddie. They both have been queer coded, but imo Eddie is more queer coded. His is also a lot more plot focused, like the panic attacks and Ana storyline. Feeling like he has to perform on dates. I could go on.

I enjoy Bi Buck but, storytelling wise, it adds essentially nothing to the narrative without Buddie. Eddie’s sexuality would have changed and added depth to his character arc.

He'll, I'll say it with my full chest; if we could only have one of them come out, I wanted it to be Eddie. Eddie deserves to.

Also, as a fellow bi, I don't think you have said anything even remotely offensive, lol.

Darling, why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?

I'm 100% with you on this one. I think that if we were going to have someone else on the main cast being queer just for the sake of having someone else on the cast be representation, I would 100% prefer a plot where Eddie reckons with his sexuality and everything around his life, than Buck dating a random dude after almost breaking Eddie's leg because he doesn't understand his feelings and now we are trapped with that, yk? I think that Eddie having a queer arc detached from Buck would be very interesting, but especially if Buddy isn't a possibility. Now we know that if Eddie gets a queer arc, buddie is going to happen so Eddie's queer arc is going to be attached to Buck somehow, especially because Buck is a possibility and Eddie is self aware enough to know that if he is attracted to men, Buck is right there, he will make that connection to Buck instantly. Eddie coming to terms with his sexuality, and comphet and the panic attacks about Ana and the way that dating feels performative, even the way that getting with Shannon as young as he did affected that the way that he viewed his own sexuality, and the way that he doesn't do with the things that he wants, that would have been a way more interesting story to watch, yk? In a universe we can't have both. But, like, narratively it is very hard to make something satisfying for either one of them because you would have to delete buddie and they are not doing that, and if Buck's bi then no one is blocking them being queer anymore, so if we can go there why not go there, you know what I mean? But yeah, if we were only going to get one of them I would much rather for him to be Eddie than Buck, and I say that as a bisexual who craves more bi rep. A sole Eddie queer arc would be more compelling.

[hypexion]

While the characters of Dracula don't know they're in Dracula, Jonathan picks up pretty quickly that something is up. The end of his May 4th entry is:

Whether it is the old lady's fear, or the many ghostly traditions of this place, or the crucifix itself, I do not know, but I am not feeling nearly as easy in my mind as usual. If this book should ever reach Mina before I do, let it bring my good-bye. Here comes the coach!

He's contemplating the idea that he might not come back. Of course, nothing obviously suspicious has happened at this point, but he's certainly picking up the vibes. And by May 5th, well, he begins with:

There are many odd things to put down, and, lest who reads them may fancy that I dined too well before I left Bistritz, let me put down my dinner exactly. I dined on what they called "robber steak"—bits of bacon, onion, and beef, seasoned with red pepper, and strung on sticks and roasted over the fire, in the simple style of the London cat's meat! The wine was Golden Mediasch, which produces a queer sting on the tongue, which is, however, not disagreeable. I had only a couple of glasses of this, and nothing else.

Jonathan has already noticed what he's about to write sounds totally out there, and he's trying to convince a reader (and himself) that he saw what he saw, and none of this foreign food or drink is effecting his judgement. He finishes his entry with:

I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul. God keep me, if only for the sake of those dear to me!

Our friend Jonathan is now definitely on edge after two weird coach trips, and internally he's noticing that things are off. He suspects that the person who greets him at the door is that same man who drove the coach (because they are), and he's noticed that these guys are weirdly strong and unusually cold.

Things are about to escalate very quickly, but Dracula's facade was crumbling the moment Jonathan met him. (As Van Helsing later says, the Count ain't that bright after spending all his time cooped up.)