#queer families to the rescue!

[gaybaseball-fan]

[daughterofprofit96]

Coming back here since we celebrated the Grishaverse friendships through the hashtag #LittleRescues. Stuff happened since I last posted. Telling you a little bit about it too.

Ever since I was little, friendships became one of the most important things to me. I'm privileged to have a wonderful mom, amazing siblings and badass aunts, uncles and grandmother. As an oldest sibling and a daughter, a niece and a granddaughter, my life feels fulfilled, but it doesn't always feel supported. More like the other way around.

I said it once and I'll say it again because it's one of the greatest pieces of wisdom my therapist has shared with me: one of the best things about growing up is that we get to choose who becomes part of our family. And it's my friends, the family I've chosen and the family I depend on the ones who've seen me through my very best and my very worst moments.

There are many things in the Grishaverse I look at with a slight feeling of nostalgia (like Colm, my dude, if you were my dad I'd be already out of therapy!). This isn't the case for the friendships in the Grishaverse.

There truly isn't a downside to the GV friendships. Not because they are perfect - none of them are, in fact - but because they choose each other, time and time again. Imperfections, hard moments, fights, arguments, it doesn't matter. They are family and they have eachother's back. GV friendships show us a canon for what we should strive for in life.

Last week, I came out as ace-spec to my two best friends. We met in highschool, more than ten years ago, and we've seen each other through everything, #LittleRescues or bigger ones. They are the ones who save my mind, who protect me the most and who love me unconditionally (and the other way around!)

I have no fucking clue what is going to happen now. Whether my mom and my siblings will understand that, in a hyper-sexualized world, I have no interest for that particular aspect. I don't know whether this is going to change my relationship with my birth family. My friends, however, make me strong enough to face that step by step, because I know I have a found family to go back to no matter what.

So, when it comes to the GV friendships, they are the one aspect I look at with a knowing smile, because I'm privileged enough to know exactly what they have.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

The final part for The House of Glass! Everyone has a lot to figure out, but progress takes time. Follows from this. This was my first ever complete comic from start to finish, I hope you guys enjoyed the journey!

If you've enjoyed this comic, please consider donating to Aya Yasser, a 19 year old university student from the University of Palestine. She had to pause her studies due to attacks on Gaza. Her 55 year old father is ill and she is trying to evacuate him and her brothers.

You can find her blog @samaagaza

It's like two in the morning right now so I might be a bit incoherent, cw for discussions of racism, homophobia, biphobia, sinophobia and classism

I've really wanted to write Chang as someone who's made to be a perpetual outsider. As a Chinese person born in the UK I've always been made to feel like a foreigner no matter where I go - obviously I am a foreigner abroad but I'm also treated as such in the very country I was born and raised in. I think a lot of east Asian people can relate to being treated as a strange exotic foreigner first and a person second.

As a working class orphan he would probably have been treated as disposable by society at large too. As soon as he's rescued by Tintin in the Blue Lotus he immediately asks why Tintin bothered saving him, and in his letter to Tintin in Tintin in Tibet he writes that he's unworthy of his uncle's hopsitality. We don't get much from Chang as he doesn't make many appearances but it seems he's internalised strong feelings of a lack of self worth. Tintin may have been the first person to recognise his humanity since Chang's birth family passed.

Being queer is also very isolating at first. You're not born into a culture you can reference or make sense of your experiences initially, it's something you have to seek out. I wanted to explore learning to love yourself through others. We're all weird to some degree, we're all in this together!

I genuinely have no clue how I'd follow this up, I have ideas for future stories but I'm not sure what would follow directly from here!

[justgazan]

My campaign is vetted by @el-shab hussein and @gaza-evacuation-funds

This is Eman from Gaza, I used to live a stable life with my family till 7th Oct, after the war we lost our business, house, and safety.

We used to provide our children with a comfortable life, now we cant provide them with food or clean drinking water.

My campaign aimed at evacuating us from Gaza, unfortunately, it did not succeed and I used the fund money to be displaced from one area to another inside Gaza.

I'm calling your humanity to kindly support me and my family survive the genocide in Gaza. I implore you to help rescue me and my family from this catastrophic existence in Gaza. Your donation could provide us the means to provide our basic daily needs.

Your generosity offers a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness we face every day.Please, not only consider donating but also share our story widely. Your empathy and support can make an immeasurable difference in alleviating our suffering and helping us rebuild our shattered lives.

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[seventeenpins]

a slight miscalculation - pt. iii

pairing: Joel x F!Reader

word count: 5.4k

summary: You hooked up with Joel months earlier, before you both realized you’re his daughter’s housemate. Now, you’re in Austin for a week, and Joel might lose his mind.

content/warnings: lovers to almost enemies to worse enemies???, age gap, marijuana use, Tess is queer and married to Marlene, Tommy Miller is sleep deprived, Joel is stuck on you and is handling it BADLY, Ellie is nonbinary, tension tension tension

a/n: Hi everyone!! I'm sorry, this chapter is a year late 🫣 Hope y'all enjoy, and still want to see more of these two!

pt. i • pt. ii

MONDAY

A soft glow of light illuminates the room beneath the blinds. Joel is adrift in the most soothing comfort that can only come from a cool space and a warm nest of covers. It's a lazy, velvet repose. He's on his belly, his aching limbs sprawled across the bed, totally lost in sleep.  As he slips from pleasant dream to pleasant dream, he knows that, if given the chance, he would stay in this bed forever.

But something has started pressing on his back.

This weight started tentatively, a gentle, hesitant pressure. The walls of his dreams began contracting towards him, the space shrinking, setting off a sharp twist of panic in his unconscious state. Joel rolls over.

The pressure wanes for a moment before it reshapes itself, grows, and becomes targeted, dividing itself into multiple prodding jabs. It's unbelievably heavy. Needle-like points emerge and begin to scrape and stab-- and that smell.

Something richly fishy is overwhelming his nostrils, hot and horrible.

He tries to claw at the enclosing walls, tries to force the rancid fish smell away from him, but his arms don't work. He can't move.

It's all too much.

Joel wakes with a start, and the stab he'd felt all over his abdomen hooks deeper, moving with him as he thrashes. After a moment, his vision focuses and he discovers a very satisfied, fish-breathed feline latching claws-first to his sleep tee, grooming his jaw with the utmost enthusiasm.

"Jesus Christ," Joel howls, grabbing on and trying to hold the little criminal to his body as he does his best to roll over and sit up. This was a classic Miller move that he'd executed thousands of times with Sarah's childhood cat, the imaginatively named Kitty, an elderly ginger tabby from the local rescue. 

Unfortunately for Joel, Spatula was not Kitty.

His attempt at relying on muscle memory betrayed him immediately. The second that Spatula felt Joel's arms tightening around him, he did his best to wriggle out of the grasp, clawing Joel the whole way up his body before launching off his chest and yowling throughout the entire exit. Joel watches furiously as he disappears past the door frame.

He drags a palm down his face and sits up, yanking his shirt off and taking a moment to examine the scratches that streak their way up his chest.

The scratches aren't deep, but they do sting.

Please, he begs the universe, let this not be an omen of the week to come.

After disinfecting the scratches, Joel dresses quickly.

The moment he steps onto the downstairs landing, he’s gut-punched with so much joy he almost forgets his frustrations. He’s greeted by the sight of his family. 

Sarah sits at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee on the table before her. Maria stands behind her, neatly sectioning her hair. Tommy’s dead asleep, draped haphazardly across the sofa, baby asleep in the carrier next to him. They’re snoring together in unison. 

Joel heads straight towards his girl, ready to wrap her in a hug. Unfortunately, he doesn’t clock you turning the corner, heading right towards him, your own coffee in hand. A sudden “Dad!” rings out, and he halts abruptly, but you still crash into him, your coffee spilling over you both, staining his t-shirt, making your tank cling to your chest.

He averts his eyes, gracelessly conspicuous.

“Dad,” Sarah calls, gesturing up at Maria whose fingers hadn’t stopped deftly braiding, “Could you get her a towel?”

“Oh. Oh yeah-,” Joel snaps out of his affect, turning to the kitchen drawers. A moment later, a tea towel is being thrust towards you. You pat yourself down.

“Mr. Miller,” you nod towards him in greeting. You’d hoped it would break the tension, but he stiffens, and you immediately feel worse. 

Joel huffs, shaking his head. “Sorry bout that, sweetheart,” he says, and falls back into awkward silence. His lack of eye contact would be almost funny, if it didn’t sting quite so much.

But no. You will not let this ruin your holiday. There’s plenty to do, and you’re here with your best friends, and you will not let this man’s absolute petrification make you feel bad.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask, and, to your surprise, Joel’s the one who responds.

“Oh, I think they said they were stepping onto the porch for a smoke.”

“Thanks,” you shrug, still dabbing yourself with the tea towel. 

Maria and Sarah are in a world of their own, chatting and laughing, and you catch Joel looking at you. You head to the door. You can feel his eyes on you, and you turn around to look back. Possessed by some surge of small insanity, you pull away the tea towel. At first, he mostly just looks ashamed at the sheer amount of liquid he managed to spill on you, but then you see his eyes widen as it dawns on him just how wet the fabric really is, and how he can see the outline of your areolas, pebbled nipples poking against the fabric. With a wink, you open the door and step out, leaving Joel agog.

Ellie sits on the porch swing, joint in hand, humming along to the music presumably playing through their headphones. Their sketchbook is laid haphazardly next to them, papers rustling in the breeze. You walk over and wave, announcing your presence without startling them. They grinned, seeing you, and pulled off their headphones.

“Wake and bake?” you ask.

“I am on vacation!” they announce. “You want a hit?”

“Sure,” You snort, and reach out for the joint. “So, did you smuggle weed through security, or did you already find a plug?”

“Nah, I know it’d stress the hell out of Sarah if anything went wrong. I found a plug.”

You take a hit, coughing a little on the exhale. “Do I want to know?”

They smile, mischievous. “Probably not.”

Then they notice the wet front of your shirt, and frown. “Was drinking coffee a challenge for you today?”

“Didn’t even get a cup of coffee,” you grumble, “Mr Miller bumped into me, and my coffee went over both of us.”

“Oh, damn-”

You sigh. “Yeah.”

The two of you sit in companionable silence for a minute, passing the joint back and forth. The breeze is light and the weather surprisingly pleasant.

“You know, I have a lot of mixed feelings about the South,” Ellie says, “But I gotta say, they got porches right.”

“Oh yeah?” you laugh.

“Yep,” they nod, somber. “It’s a classic feature of southern architecture that should be more popular nationwide. Love a porch.”

“I… do not disagree,” you nod. Then, you glance at their sketchbook. “Oh, these are cool! Are you focusing on porches this week?”

They shrug. “I dunno. Maybe? But there’s just so much cool stuff. I’ve never travelled much, and there’s so much I want to render.”

“May I?” you ask, gesturing at the pages.

“Go for it!”

You examine the sketches. A few are simple, some basic shape studies. And then they evolve. Some are neat, others more careless, but each is a recognisable depiction of the houses across the cul-de-sac.

“I don’t know how you can see things like this,” you gesture at the page, awed, “Like, it’s so true to life, but so much more that it? I know if I took a picture of those houses, it wouldn’t look like this.”

Ellie grins. It’s one of your favorite things about them; their confidence. They know what they’re good at, and you envy their ability to take a compliment.

“Well,” they take a drag, “What do you see when you look at the houses in front of you?”

You contemplate. You should have an answer. An artistic answer. Something clever. But instead. “I just see fucking houses.”

Ellie snorts. “Okay, so. These sketches are black and white, so I’m not focused on color here. But I am focused on light. So. What are the brightest bits of that house?” They point just across the way, and you consider.

“Um… The trim, along the underside of the roof? And around the windows. Oh, and the way the light’s hitting the drainpipe!”

“Exactly! Now, what are the darkest bits.”

“Well, since the light’s hitting the front, I guess the shadows on the side? So the front’s kinda a middle-tone, right? But the shadows under the siding, too, are dark.”

“You’ve got it,” they smile, enthused. “It’s really just about seeing the world like that. In shades of light. And the more you can see, the more you break it down into smaller and smaller pieces.”

“And then adding in color?”

“That’ll be your next lesson,” they laugh, “You just work on seeing the light first.”

“Just need to see the light,” you snort, “Will it cure me of my wicked ways?”

“Absolutely not,” Ellie grins, “With any luck, you’ll get even wicked-er.”

With that, they put out the end of their joint, and start assembling their things.

“Hey, random question–” you blurt, before Ellie can get up and go inside, before you can stop yourself. “What do you think of, uh. Of Sarah’s dad, Mr Miller?”

“Oh, that old man’s cool.” Ellie answers immediately.

“Yeah?” you ask, smiling in spite of yourself. Another thing you admire in Ellie is their absolute refusal to be made uncomfortable in service of others. If someone was being a dick, Ellie would be the one to step in, and they made themself plenty of enemies like that. But it also meant they were selective in their friendships and, beyond anything else, fiercely loyal. You trust their judgement.

Thank fuck for Ellie.

“I mean, shit, did you see his movie collection?” they continue, “And, he’s not misgendered me once, so I think we’re off to a good start. His friend’s cool, too! I was talking with Tess before she left last night and she and her wife invited me to a dyke night this week. So, I mean. I could be wrong. But I’m not getting any bad vibes. He’s a middle aged dude who’s actually a good dad, has lesbian friends, and has good taste in movies. Basically a walking green flag.”

“Cool,” you say. “Yeah. That is a lot of good stuff.”

It’s overwhelming, honestly. Because even those small things, listed off as bullet points, were significant. They weren’t the reasons you were stuck on him, but part of the bigger picture. Those small pieces that form the whole. 

Immediately, the urge to tell them what happened between you hits. You want to unload, want to tell them how much you think about that night with Joel. That the man that’s consuming too many of your waking thoughts happens to be just yards away, through that door, spending time with your best friend, his daughter.

But you don’t. 

It’s all too much.

“You coming back inside?” Ellie asks, hand on the doorknob.

You shake your head. “Nah, need just a little more air.”

“Cool,” they nod, “Well if you need any more weed, let me know.”

“You got it. Thanks, El.”

They pull the door open, but look back at you.

“Hey,” they ask, suddenly serious, “Are… Are you okay?”

“I? Yeah, I’m fine. What do you mean?”

“I dunno. You just seem a little bit off, maybe?”

“Well. I’m good.”

They look at you, searching your face for something.

“Okay, well. If you’re sure. And if there is something, and you’re just worried about it, or processing it or whatever. You know you can tell me, right?”

You look at them, and feel a surge of love in your belly.

“I know. And I won’t forget it. Thanks Ellie.”

They nod, and slip back inside.

You spend the next fifteen minutes on the porch swing, breathing in the air around you. It’s a change, for certain, and change can be a beautiful thing.

As you survey the block, you try to consider the light.

When you head back inside, Maria’s dipping the tips of Sarah’s hair in boiling water, and Tommy’s still passed out on the couch.

“I think that’s there for you!” Sarah calls over, pointing at a steaming cup of coffee on the counter. 

You frown, turning to look. Next to the cup of coffee is a small note in neat, straightforward block capitals. 

It’s a surprise, and the gesture makes your stomach flip. He’s just being nice, you remind yourself, trying to keep the peace. Maybe he thinks that if he pisses you off enough, you’ll tell Sarah just to spite him.

You hope he doesn’t think you so spiteful. But even if he does, as pathetic as it is, you know that at least this little note proves one thing to you: he does think of you.

That knowledge stays with you the whole day.

Your first full day in Austin is, admittedly, a pretty good day. 

The entire Miller clan had taken you and Ellie downtown. Tommy and Maria led the charge, with little Benjamin in his stroller. You did tourist-y things, Joel grumbling the entire time, but even he was in a good mood with his daughter so close. 

You all go for lunch, and then split off. Tommy and Maria have errands. Joel suggests a walk. Ellie decides to break off and visit an art museum, and you’re left to decide what to do.

“You’re more than welcome to come with,” Ellie says, “But I can’t promise that I won’t geek out. Looks like there’s an exhibition by one of my favorite contemporary painters and I gotta try not to lick the paintings.”

You nearly say yes, not even considering another option, but then–

“You know, we got rain a couple weeks ago. I’m sure they’re not at their peak, but we did have some cool fungus for a bit there. Wouldn’t be surprised if you can find something interesting along the way,” Joel said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking sheepish.

“Ooh, dad, yeah! Honestly I’m surprised you remembered that she studies mycology.” Sarah’s eyes widen just the littlest bit, impressed. Then, she turns back to you. “What would you like to do. Art or mushrooms?”

You grimace and shake your head. “Damn. I gotta do mushrooms.”

And that settled it. To fungus you went.

TUESDAY

All things considered, Spatula was a very good boy.

You’d heard later last night that he’d had a bit of an incident with Joel. To Joel’s credit, he wasn’t bitter or mean, just a little hesitant about the cat.

This morning, you awoke to your small goblin blessedly minding his own business, conked out on your pillow next to you. You enjoyed your coffee without causing a single spill, and managed to avoid physically running into Joel.

Tommy and Maria dropped by again for breakfast at ten, and slowly, everyone else emerged. Sarah was first, freshly showered after her run. She’s a beacon of joy, swinging her braids around her shoulders as she gets used to the new sensation again. She’s so delighted to be home, and to be around family. 

Family, you think. It’s… nice. It’s also, admittedly, not really your thing.

Ellie emerges with charcoal smudges all over their hands, a few messy fingerprints at their temples where they’ve brushed their hair back, stoned as a skunk. 

Joel seemed more relaxed today, too, as though now that the first day was over, maybe it wasn’t quite so bad. Maybe this didn’t have to be a problem?

Once breakfast was over, Joel had babysitting duties until early afternoon. You all felt a bit tired, that shift from place to place wearying, so you opted to stay at home, at least for the time being.

Sarah doted on her cousin, bouncing him on her lap, tickling his tummy till he gurgled and burped, howling with giggles. As you watch her, you glance aside to take a look at Joel. You swear you can see his eyes water as he gazes at his daughter and nephew. 

Ellie plugged in their PS4 and, after some coaxing, and Benjamin safe in Sarah’s arms, Joel joined them. They played round after round of the Crash Team Racing remaster. Ellie was bloodthirsty, but once Joel started getting the hang of it, he was frustratingly good.

“C’mon, old man, how’d you get that box!” Ellie yelled, as Joel cackled, hitting a “?” crate, evading Ellie’s assaults. 

Joel smirked, and Ellie narrowed their eyes and batted him on the knee.

The afternoon was pleasant. A much needed respite.

Joel felt strangely comfortable, despite his company. Ellie was a funny kid, he’ll give them that. They’ve taken him off guard so many times, but he’s trying to play it cool, and not get too outsmarted by another 19 year old. Sarah keeps him on his toes enough already.  

And it was nice, if he’s honest, but he can’t be honest. Maybe just to himself, for a moment? And it feels dangerous, but he wants to let himself be honest. Just in his own head. Just for right now. Because it’s just- It’s so nice to see you. To hear you laugh. See the way that you light up when you’re talking about something that excites you. He never stopped dreaming about you, and now he sees the bits he got wrong. Where a memory smoothed a wrinkle, or straightened a hair, you’re vivacious around him. So fucking vibrant. Too fucking real.

It feels so good to have life back in the house. He’s been so grateful for Tommy and Maria in his life, and his little nephew. But at the end of the day, it’s just him again. Alone in a big, empty house.

He’s determined to enjoy it, just for this week. Pretend everything is perfect.

Then he steps into the room, turning the corner, expecting to look over to Sarah. Instead, he sees you, and you’re bouncing Benjamin on your knee. In a moment, his heart stops. 

Nope. This sure as fuck could not be happening. Because in an instant, he is bricked up beyond all reason and possibility, and without being able to stop it, he’s staring at you, memories flashing through his head. He stumbles into the room, and stops abruptly, dropping into the nearest armchair, half paralyzed with how overwhelmed he now is. The way you’d spoken to him that night you shared, the line that runs in circles round his head every night since, as he tries to tire himself out with his fist around his cock and guilt and pleasure in his belly, as he remembered the way you rode him, coaxing him along all the way, “It's okay, daddy, you can let go–”

He needs to be inside you. He needs to tear your clothing off, needs to hear your moans again. Bury himself deep and fuck up into you till tears run down your cheeks as you come around him, urging him along. He wants to press deep into you when he comes, knowing how sweet you’d feel, clenching around him. To fuck you full of him, of his child–

But no–

What he actually needs, is to fucking stop. It ain’t right. You’re his kid’s friend. Her roommate. He shouldn’t be thinking about you at all, let alone fantasizing about you. He’s a dirty old man. A fucking pervert. Unfit for society, probably. 

All these thoughts blinked by in a moment, and it’s then that he refocuses his eyes and realizes you’re looking at him.

He frowns, face heating, immediately worried you’ve read his thoughts. He fumbles for a throw pillow, trying to inconspicuously settle it across his lap.

You’re looking at him with such confusion written across your face.

Joel feels automatically defensive. “What, what is it?” He snaps.

The confusion dissipates. It’s replaced by a resigned, exhausted expression.

“Sorry, I thought you’d heard me. I said you could sit closer if you wanted. Have a turn with Benny.”

“Oh.” He deflates, and immediately feels like an asshole. But his raging boner was still a matter of issue, so he shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good here.”

“I don’t bite.” You tell him, lamely. 

To your utmost surprise, Joel snorts, a thing of actual amusement, “Oh, sweetheart. We both know that ain’t true.”

Immediately, he regrets saying it, looking terribly abashed, his face continuing its journey in shades of flushed. You nearly laugh in response, but you’re half-paralyzed with the surprise of it.

And then, before either of you can respond, Sarah steps back into the room, fresh cup of coffee in hand, ready to resume time with her cousin.

She sits down next to you, totally oblivious, and reaches for Benjamin. It’s only as you pass him back that she sees her dad in the armchair across the room.

“Oh, hey dad! You’re so far away! Wanna hang out with us?”

“Sure, baby.” Joel grimaces, possibly aiming for a smile, and nods. He stands up gingerly. Sarah’s not paying close attention, but you see the way Joel rearranges himself, moves the throw pillow off his lap, and makes his way over.

For the briefest moment as he adjusts, his t-shirt rides up the tiniest bit. In that instant, you can see the line of him, see that he’s hard, and that he’s got his entire cock tucked up into his waistband, getting choked by his belt. You catch his eye, and he turns away, pulling his tee the littlest bit lower.

You make up some excuse, some reason to leave, and you slip out of the room.

Fuck. Fuck. Joel Miller’s gonna be the death of you.

Afternoon turns to evening, and Maria and Tommy join the group, followed shortly by Tess and her wife, Marlene. You band together and place a massive takeout order, 

You were thrilled, actually. After dinner was finished, you got to have an evening alone. Joel and Sarah were going to see a movie. Tommy and Maria were heading home. Tess, Marlene, and Ellie were all going to Dyke Night. 

You loved your housemates, you really did. But, when you think about it, you realize it’s been months since you had a proper night home alone.

The Millers had a hot tub, and tonight, you intend to use it.

Ellie, Tess and Marlene leave first. The event starts at 8pm, but Ellie’s so excited to go out, they leave at 7. Tess and Marlene insist that they’ll take good care of Ellie. It’s not their usual scene these days, but they’re both gripped by Ellie’s enthusiasm, delighted to show them the local scene.

Joel and Sarah headed out a little bit later, planning to catch a movie. Sarah had told you before how she and her dad like to go out to the movies. It’s a holdover from childhood, she’d told you. When she was really little, he’d rent a movie every Friday. Then, with Sarah playing contractor, and Joel playing foreman, they’d construct a pillow fort, built for maximum structural integrity.

By the time they started their movie, she’d be getting sleepy, but they’d stay up together anyway. And, when she fell asleep, her dad would carry her up to bed and tuck her in gently, looking forward to doing it all again next week.

It was their time together. Their sanctuary. A tired, overworked single dad, and the most important thing in his entire world; his baby girl.

Once they had left, you took a deep breath. Finally, you were alone. You have a few hours to yourself before you’ll expect anyone back, and that goddamn hot tub is calling to you. 

As Joel drives, some song plays on the radio that catapults them back to Sarah’s childhood. He’s not certain, but thinks it might be an Avril Lavigne one. She was one of her favorites. He almost thinks if he looks over, he might see that sweet, smart, skinny kid next to him. But instead, it’s even better. His beautiful, brilliant daughter is grown. Such a wonderful woman, inside and out. And not only that, she wants to spend time with her old man.

Joel nods his head, and Sarah starts singing along, belting out the lyrics the way she’s done since she was little. He grins as she shimmies her shoulders through the instrumental break, and he hums along with her as she takes on the next chorus.

The song ends, and Sarah erupts in giggles, and Joel reaches for her hand, and she gives it a firm squeeze.

Then, a loud pop sounds, and the car jolts, the front left dipping forwards.

Joel curses, body surging with tension, tugging his hand from hers to grab onto the wheel, navigating the suddenly swerving car over to the shoulder. 

“You okay?” He asks, heart pounding, turning to Sarah. 

She nods rapidly, turns back to him. “Are you okay, dad?”

“Uh-huh,” he nods, and puts a hand on her cheek, looking her over. He nods again, satisfied, and steps out of the car.

He moves to the front of the car, out of the way of the traffic zipping by, and curses.

“Yep,” he says to Sarah as he sits back in the driver’s side. “Big ol’ nail’s gone right through it. Blown the tire. God dammit.”

“We got a spare?” Sarah asks.

Joel sighs, putting his fist to his forehead and considering. “Yeah. That should get us off the side of the road at least.

He gets out and starts to work, pulling out the jack, and some other tools. He loosens the lug nuts and raises the car.

All in all, it doesn’t take all that long to swap the flat for the spare. But, he knows, he won’t be able to go over 50mph with the spare. It’s a busy week, too, with so many people travelling, so he’ll need to get it fixed sooner rather than later, especially getting Sarah back to the airport–

Goddammit.

He lowers the car again, and inspects his work.

“All done?” Sarah asks.

“All done.” He nods, wiping grease from his fingers.

“Think we can still make a movie?” Sarah grins, hopeful.

Joel winces and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, babygirl. I think I gotta get this tire taken care of. Can’t drive on it for long.”

“Oh,” Sarah deflates. “No, of course!”

“How about tomorrow night?” Joel asks.

She considers, then brightens. “Actually, I was gonna see a friend tomorrow. But I might be able to swap days! Let me check with her–”

Sarah taps away on his phone, and Joel peers at his own phone. He’ll find the number for the 24/7 tire folks. 

A moment later, Sarah hops up with a “Yes! Alright, she’ll pick me up from the intersection down there. And then you and I can do a movie tomorrow night!”

“Alright kiddo,” he nods, “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be able to get back, and I’ll have the tire guys come tonight. You want a ride to the corner?”

“I’m good,” she smiles, “I need the walk.”

He nods again. His wonderful, independent girl. “Be safe tonight, hon,” he tells her, “Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks dad,” she smiles, and pulls him in for a hug.

He hugs her back, tight. She breaks away, waves, and heads off.

He watches his daughter as she goes.

Joel’s night is now wide open, but even despite the cancelled plans, it doesn’t feel lonely the way most of his nights do. Instead of empty and hollow, he feels full of life. Full of possibility. Before he even left, he called the tire service. To Joel’s surprise, they have an opening right now, and they're mobile. He gives them his address and lets them know he’ll be home in 20. They say they'll meet him there in 30, and he drives back, careful of the spare.

The mechanic gets to work quickly, and fifteen minutes later, he’s heading back out. A weight lifts from Joel’s chest. One less thing to worry about.

Joel steps through the garage door into the kitchen. He kicks aside his shoes and shrugs off his jacket, rolling his aching shoulders, trying to rid them of tension. 

He digs around in the fridge, navigating between takeout boxes, to find a can of Bud Lite hiding at the back. 

He cracks it open, immediately feeling the tension leave his body at the sound of the sizzle. Then, he takes a swig, sits down in his favorite recliner, and realizes– something is off.

The back porch light, to be exact.

It was on a motion sensor, and no one ever turned it on. There were guests, of course, so someone could have turned it on. But there’s also been a family of raccoons that has been inching closer and closer to the house, and he’d be damned if they were getting into the garbage.

He steps out, prepared to wave his hands at his feral guests in hopes of herding them away.

Instead, he sees you. Sat in the hot tub.

Joint in one hand, glass of wine in the other.

And you’re completely naked.

In a blink, any surprise or confusion Joel may have felt turns into fury.

He storms out, slamming open the sliding glass door. You jump, whipping your head towards him in an instant. The wine splashes down you, blindingly cold against the heat of your skin, trailing down your collarbone, between your tits. By sheer dumb luck, you manage to keep hold of the joint.

You can hear Joel’s words before you can even see his face.

“Are you fucking kidding me, woman?”

“Jesus christ, Joel, I thought you were gonna be out!”

“So what, you just decided to sit your naked ass down in my hot tub?”

“Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t think to bring a swimsuit, and Sarah said it was okay! You said you were going to a movie–”

“You’re a pain in my fuckin’ ass, you know that?”

Now, he’s pissing you off. “What have I actually done to you, Joel, really? I’m not making this difficult. You are.”

“What have you done?” He growls, and a rage boils in you as he sneers. “I’ll fuckin’ tell ya. You hooked your fuckin’ claws into me. Made me absolutely stupid with ya. And now you’re here, and Sarah could find out exactly what kinda piece of shit her dad really is. You’re just parading around–”

You’re done. You’re fucking done. You take your time relighting your joint, making sure to take a deep drag as he glares daggers at you. And then you catch movement at the screen door, still open behind Joel. 

Panic rises up in you. Your boy. Your beautiful cat son. A small little man who does not know how to survive in the wild.

“Spatula!” you shout, and Joel doesn’t turn, just frowns.

You jump up, entirely unconcerned about your own nakedness, and hurtle towards the door, realization suddenly dawning upon Joel.

The little criminal howls in defeat. You scoop him up  before he can get more than a single paw outside.

Naked but the cat in your arms, you turn to him, words laced with venom. “Parading around, Joel?” you ask, voice quiet but dangerous. You don’t try to cover yourself. Joel’s jaw clenches, grinding his teeth. 

He takes a breath. “I’m– I’m sor–”

You cut him off. You don’t want to hear it. “Fuck you, Joel. Fuck you.”

You storm inside, and head to the room deemed yours for the next few days. Rubbing angry tears from your eyes, you place Spatula on your bed and towel off properly, slipping into pajamas. You smoke the last of the joint through the bedroom window, and try to clear your mind. It’s not polite, smoking inside like that, but frankly you’d like to piss him off, if you can. At least that would be a reasonable thing for him to be angry about.

You go to sleep, a lump in your throat, and tears stinging your eyes.

[kinardsboy]

This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting “too gay” in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Lou’s incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as “safe” which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-

All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.

They can’t possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, “NO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!”

Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?

I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.

A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They don’t want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.

There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the “woman” in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the “mom”

Buck and Tommy’s relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide “top” and “bottom” but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.

A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise he’s meant only for Eddie’s pleasure.

Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for

letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or “train” the bad out of him

While Eddie was the “trainer” in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.

And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buck’s character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who can’t even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a “mother figure” to Chris, that his “dream role” would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..

When none of that is Buck.

Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.

Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable

(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they don’t actually like?)

[nobigsecrets]

In honor of Buck and Tommy's anniversary here's a (rather random and incomplete) list of fic I read and loved and bookmarked throughout the past year. Happy reading! 🩷💜💙

the air it hurts by Anonymous Rating: G, Words: 7,569 After Tommy gets hurt in a near-fatal accident, he learns that there are some things he doesn't have to be afraid of. And that he no longer has to feel jealous of the family he left before it became one.

Relax and Breathe by @nine-one-wanton Rating: M, Words: 2,213 Tommy teaches Buck some introductory yoga. And Buck can’t stop wondering.. “Are we still talking about yoga?”

i want it all by @firehose118 Rating: M, Words: 964 Tommy kisses Buck and Buck understands why he gets so horny at the gym.

smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze. by milominderbinder Rating: T, Words: 4,059 Buck meets Tommy Kinard while rescuing him from a car accident. Buck's got no problem with being flirted with on the job, really, it's just — well, it's not usually older men with biceps bigger than his head who are doing the flirting. And he didn't really expect how much he'd like it.

Second Wind by Persiflager Rating: E, Words: 2,210 “I want to blow you,” says Evan, kneeling in between Tommy’s legs. “Knock yourself out,” says Tommy, because he’s generous like that.

i'll make a wish on a star (and i'll wish i was home once again) by @26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat Rating: M, Words: 9,735 tommy and evan have big feelings after jee-yun picks the 1983 best of ernie cassette tape as her bathtime soundtrack when they're babysitting. they figure it out. pinkie promise. or: the best thing the buckley parents ever did was bring maddie's old boombox and tapes with them while visiting california.

they begin by @screamlet Rating: M, Words: 12,784 Buck, lost in the bisexual sauce, seeks counsel from his elders: his boyfriend, his co-worker, and her wife. AKA: Buck, Tommy, Hen, and Karen go on a big gay double date.

Hotshots' Number Two Fans by @herrmannhalsteadproduction Rating: T, Words: 7,748 Tommy gets sucked into the Hotshots fandom. (It's Karen and Maddie's fault.)

makes me want to pull you closer by @screamlet Rating: M, Words: 2,674 Buck finally takes Tommy up on his offer to fly somewhere sometimes. The trip is shorter than they expected.

Closet Conversations by @eyesonstars-feetonground Rating: M, Words: 10,559 After his boyfriend dumps him, Evan Buckley goes on a date, makes a new friend, has some conversations, and realizes he's queer. Tommy haunts him every step of the way.

We shall by morning / Inherit the earth. by Anonymous Rating: T, Words: 4,621 Karen offers Buck a political perspective, looking for a political victory, in the face of everything.

Misperception by @emphasisonthehomo Rating: M, Words: 7,289 There’s a new kid at Harbor. He’s the youngest rookie they’ve ever gotten, one of those guys that went for the academy right out of high school. He’s also gay. Flamboyantly gay. Tommy’s jealous. OR It doesn’t occur to Tommy that he should come out.

Truth or Dare by writerdot Rating: E, Words: 1,114 Buck and Tommy and a kind of new beginning.

These are the days of miracle and wonder by @geddyqueer Rating: M, Words: 4,080 Tommy goes grocery shopping, runs into his ex's sister, gets stuck in the middle of a shelter-in-place order, and delivers a baby. Things only get more awkward from there.

"I'm different, too" by federaldust Rating: E, Words: 5,406 Buck takes Tommy back to his place after Chimney and Maddie's wedding. any part of this series can be read as a standalone.

Won't You Come By and See Me (I'm a Love Letter Away) by @dharmaavocado Rating: T, Words: 42,149 In which Buck's world gets bigger and he tries to be better.

A tunnel to crawl through by @geddyqueer Rating: E, Words: 25,538 Tommy makes a decision. Buck meets him halfway. (TW Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm)

from the shallows to the deepest end by @gaytommykinard Rating: M, Words: 10,557 Evan Buckley (an ally) signs up on Grindr looking for a fake boyfriend to take as his plus-one to his parents' wedding anniversary. Tommy Kinard (guy who should know better) agrees to be his date.

[gaybaseball-fan]

[makingqueerhistory]

Spooky Queer Books

Since spooky season is starting, I thought I would share a list of my favourite queer books that are great for this time of year.

Some of these links are affiliate links.

It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror

Joe Vallese

Horror movies hold a complicated space in the hearts of the queer community: historically misogynist, and often homo- and transphobic, the genre has also been inadvertently feminist and open to subversive readings. Common tropes--such as the circumspect and resilient "final girl," body possession, costumed villains, secret identities, and things that lurk in the closet--spark moments of eerie familiarity and affective connection. Still, viewers often remain tasked with reading themselves into beloved films, seeking out characters and set pieces that speak to, mirror, and parallel the unique ways queerness encounters the world.It Came from the Closet features twenty-five essays by writers speaking to this relationship, through connections both empowering and oppressive. From Carmen Maria Machado on Jennifer's Body, Jude Ellison S. Doyle on In My Skin, Addie Tsai on Dead Ringers, and many more, these conversations convey the rich reciprocity between queerness and horror.

Into the Drowning Deep

Mira Grant

The ocean is home to many myths, But some are deadly... Seven years ago the Atargatis set off on a voyage to the Mariana Trench to film a mockumentary bringing to life ancient sea creatures of legend. It was lost at sea with all hands. Some have called it a hoax; others have called it a tragedy. Now a new crew has been assembled. But this time they're not out to entertain. Some seek to validate their life's work. Some seek the greatest hunt of all. Some seek the truth. But for the ambitious young scientist Victoria Stewart this is a voyage to uncover the fate of the sister she lost. Whatever the truth may be, it will only be found below the waves. But the secrets of the deep come with a price.

The Devouring Gray

C. L. Herman

After her sister's death, seventeen-year-old Violet Saunders finds herself dragged to Four Paths, New York. Violet may be a newcomer, but she soon learns her mother isn't: They belong to one of the revered founding families of the town, where stone bells hang above every doorway and danger lurks in the depths of the woods. Justin Hawthorne's bloodline has protected Four Paths for generations from the Gray--a lifeless dimension that imprisons a brutal monster. After Justin fails to inherit his family's powers, his mother is determined to keep this humiliation a secret. But Justin can't let go of the future he was promised and the town he swore to protect. Ever since Harper Carlisle lost her hand to an accident that left her stranded in the Gray for days, she has vowed revenge on the person who abandoned her: Justin Hawthorne. There are ripples of dissent in Four Paths, and Harper seizes an opportunity to take down the Hawthornes and change her destiny--to what extent, even she doesn't yet know. The Gray is growing stronger every day, and its victims are piling up. When Violet accidentally unleashes the monster, all three must band together with the other Founders to unearth the dark truths behind their families' abilities...before the Gray devours them all.

Tell Me I'm Worthless

Alison Rumfitt

Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice's life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep. Memories of that night torment Alice, but when Ila asks her to return to the House, to go past the KEEP OUT sign and over the sick earth where teenagers dare each other to venture, Alice knows she must go. Together, Alice and Ila must face the horrors that happened there, must pull themselves apart from the inside out, put their differences aside, and try to rescue Hannah, whom the House has chosen to make its own. Cutting, disruptive, and darkly funny, Tell Me I'm Worthless is a vital work of trans fiction that examines the devastating effects of trauma and how fascism makes us destroy ourselves and each other.

[084thoughts]

Ravi Centric Fic Recs!!

Separated into categories and listed by word count from least to greatest. AO3 ratings are highlighted -> Gen Teen Mature Explicit Not Rated (NR)

🔥 labeled fics are some of my personal favorites!!

Please read tags/descriptions before to avoid any triggering or explicit content. Many of these fics discuss childhood cancer, chronic and mental illness, explicit sexual activity, and/or traumatic injury.

Basically all of the romantic/sexual pairings w Ravi are rarepairs-Hanikkar, May/Ravi, Buck/Ravi- (because 9-1-1 can't seem to bother giving him character development) so if you don't vibe w a ship, just don't read it. I included some great non-slash fics, and a entire section for Buddie-centric fics.

Character Study (Ravi Lore) 📚

Tea by ThirteenRedVampireBites | NR | 1.2k | Tea and how it shaped Ravi's favorite memories, Comfort Food, Fluff, minor hanikkar Ravi Begins by Ginja828 | T | 4.5k | Post-Season 7, 911 Typical Emergency, Flashbacks, Suicide Attempt, Queer Ravi no one can be born too many times by Daisies_and_Briars | T | 10k | Ravi's brother visits the station and is a dick, discussion of cancer, autism, supportive 118 Ravi Begins by mothdean | G | 11k | Ravi joins A-shift, Minor Character Death (on a call), Cancer Treatment & Remission, Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma 🔥darlin', i'm just tryin' to tell ya by archerincombat | T | 12k | The 118 adopts a stray dog that reminds Ravi of his childhood, Cancer, Fire Station Dog, Panikkar Family, 118 Found Family 🔥the ravi fic by archerincombat | T | 15k | Ravi/OMC, 118 Friendships, Panikkar Family, Ravi's OC Friends, Childhood Cancer, Pining, Canon 911 Events: Seasons 4-6 paralyzed (don't you know you've got me?) by doveious | T | 36k | Ravi is paralyzed after a car accident, Established May/Ravi (but not main focus), Hurt/Comfort, Physical Disability, Chronic Pain

118 Friendships 🚒

if i should fall by truth_seeker_1789 | G | <1k | 911 call, Landslide Rescue, Whump, Ravi & Buck Friendship burn the sage (clear the air ducts) by doveious | G | 1.4k | Ravi gets stuck in an air vent, Crack, 118 hijinks Who you gonna call? by scarmaddiewrites | G | 1.7k | Buck has Chronic Pain, Buck & Ravi Friendship, Eddie is in Texas an open wound by rarakiplin (gmontys) | T | 2k | Ravi sees Eddie in the parking lot of the bar, Season 5b, Angst, Mental Health Struggles nothing but the ocean and the sunrise by evenatraitormaymend | G | 2.3k | Buck tells Ravi about his leg scars at the beach, Established Buddie, Fluff, truck bombing Ravi Versus El Paso: A Hate Story by serenelystrange | G | 2.7k | Snippets of Ravi and 118 during Eddie's banishment in Texas, Good-Natured Bullying, 118 Friendships, Queer Ravi birds of a feather, we should stick together by regvlvs | G | 3k | Hen takes Ravi to an aquarium trip to help him study for his paramedic exam, Autistic Ravi, Fluff, Hen & Ravi Friendship things aren't always as they seem by swordgay1989 | G | 4k | 5 times Ravi felt unsure at the 118 + 1 time he felt at home with them, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Ravi, Cancer, Panic Attacks, Angst it's not what it looks like by odysseus_calls | G | 4.1k | Ravi's romantic plans fall through, he ends up spending his day out with Buck instead, minor Hanikkar, cute date activities with your crush's brother-in-law 🔥all we see is sky for forever by strawberryspence | T | 9k | Buck and Ravi get injured on a call together, Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, Buck & Ravi Friendship 🔥flood of facts by cookiesandcream | T | 9.5k | Buck and Ravi bond at the zoo, background buddie and hanikkar, infodumping, fluff

Cancer 🏥

All About the Cancer by Acciopologies | G | 1k | Chronic Illness, Vomiting, Angst, Misunderstandings Treading on Eggshells by Acciopologies | G | 1k | Childhood Trauma, Mention of Overdose, Suicide Attempt, Whump, Mother-Son Relationship Instead of soccer games by Beeisforever | G | 1.2k | Ravi meets a kid on a call that reminds him of his past, Chemo, One-shot, 911 call ooh child (things are gonna get easier) by doveious | T | 1.8k | Snippet from Ravi's childhood during chemotherapy, Angst, Cancer Treatment, Vomiting trauma sends you letters, without warning, for the rest of your life by swordgay1989 | G | 2.7k | Flashback to Ravi's childhood, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Chemotherapy, Angst 🔥the rest is still unwritten by strawberryspence | T | 8.7k | Buck & Ravi Friendship, Cancer Remission, minor ravi/omc, Beach Day, Car Rides, Healing After Trauma, sequel to all we see is sky for forever

Hanikkar (Ravi/Albert) 🌸

No Aunts for Jee-Yun by delinquentprincess | G | <1k | The 118's POV of Ravi and Albert dating, Short & Sweet sweat baby sweat by chromatophorica | E | 1.3k | Drunk Sex, Accidental Hookup, Friends to Lovers(?) The Reveal by crowstakeflight (seresindiaz) | G | 1.7k | Ravi and Albert go to the Madney wedding as each other's dates, Secret Relationship, Fluff Running on Airplane Mode by whatisreggieshortfor | NR | 1.8k | Miscommunication, Getting Together, Light Angst, Friends to Lovers right from the start (i gave you my heart) by chimneysrebar | G | 2k | Madney wedding, Fluff, Relationship Reveal, Chim cameo a turtle's shell. by sillinesshq | G | 2k | Fluff, Autistic Ravi, Supportive Albert, short & sweet Corresponding Shapes (Like Puzzle Pieces) by thetalee | T | 2.2k | Valentine's Day, Hanikkar Date Night 🔥three first dates by snowflick | T | 2.7k | Developing Relationship, Fluff, Chronically Ill Ravi, Supportive Albert, First Dates, Vomiting depollute me, pretty baby by shortndiaz | E | 3k | Domestic Fluff, Chronic Pain, Drabbles, prompt #4 is smut/explicit sex we'd never say we're just friends by ScatteredPhotographs | G | 3.7k | 5 times Ravi and Albert tried to hide their relationship from the 118 + 1 time they didn’t need to, Secret Relationship, Silly Goofy, 118 Family Feels oh shit, are we in love? by supernovamyth | T | 5.3k | FWB to Lovers, Flirting, Love Confessions 🔥Keep it Down by rainbow_nerds | T | 6k | Ravi and Albert neighbor AU, Friends to Lovers, meet ugly The 118's Soap Opera Curse by Sonayesul | T | 7k | Secret Relationship, Superstitions, Crack Treated Seriously, Angst w Happy Ending 🔥Six Dates & A Funeral by RighteousPunk | M | 54k | Buck and Chimney compete to matchmake Ravi, FWB Hanikkar, Pre-Buddie, Multiple POVs, Fluff, Angst 🔥Ravi and Albert's Guide to Fake Not-Dating by to_be_a_dreamer | T | 49k | Ravi and Albert try to avoid the "118 curse" by hiding their relationship from their friends and family, Secret Relationship, Character Lore, Angst

Other Romantic Pairings 💕

🔥i'm used to loving slowly by waveridden | T | 32k | May/Ravi/Albert, Polyamory, Getting Together, Roommates to Friends to Lovers, POV May Grant, Partial Slowburn

May/Ravi

i'll finally see what it means to be complete by chromatophorica | G | 2k | May/Ravi, Secret Admirer, Gift Giving, Fluff and now this thought drives me mad by ferager | G | 3k | Ravi stresses over a date with May, May/Ravi, Fluff, Supportive Chimney my flower baby (flower baby) by doveious | T | 10k | Five times Ravi got May flowers and one time May got Ravi flowers, Established May/Ravi, Fluff, 5 + 1

Buck/Ravi

after hours by v_greyson (greyson) | E | 13k | Buck meets Ravi's queer friends and they hookup, Buck/Ravi, FWB, Queer Community, Genderplay, Drinking, Explicit Sex 🔥A Guide to Playing Matchmaker for Your Boyfriend by  sammyunhinged | M | 52k | Ravi dates Buck instead of Tommy, Ravi/Buck, Pre-Buddie, Casual Relationship, Sexual Content, Ravi bestie OC 🔥good pretender by likeshipsonthesea | E | 85k | Buck and Ravi FWB, Explicit Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Indian Culture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms (Buck's relationship w sex), Buddie slowburn, Multiple POVs

Buddie Driven Plot 🏡

good luck, babe! by QuietLittleVoices | G | 1.5k | Ravi confused by Buddie, Gossiping, Season 7 Setting the implications of observation by intotheblue | G | 1.7k | Ravi being suspicious of Buddie, short and sweet, Relationship Reveal r/AskReddit: Are My Coworkers Dating? by shelfthe_reader | NR | 2.5k | Ravi vents about Buddie on Reddit, Crack, various buddie traumas referenced 🔥The Packer Incident by jade_reads29 | M | 3.5k | Secret Relationship, Trans!Buck, Smut, porn with plot, Buddie mildly traumatizes Ravi new debate topic: is evan buckley a good boyfriend? by writelove | NR | 3.6k | Ravi thinks Buddie are together, Crack Treated Seriously, 118 Game Night, Fluff Just a name by AngyBegins | G | 4.4k | Buck keeps calling Ravi "Eddie", Buck & Ravi Friendship, Eddie goes to Texas Take The Bitter With The Sweet by fruitsdoesnotknow | T | 5k | Ravi being terrorized by platonic Buddie, dumbass4dumbass, the 118 being a family so far away but still so near by 42hrb | T | 6.2k | Eddie becomes friends with Lucy and Ravi, Coming Out, Pining this is it (i can feel it) by withmeornotatall | T | 9k | Ravi's POV of Eddie returning to the 118, Ravi & Lucy Friendship 🔥some things are meant to be secret (and not to be heard) by archerincombat | T | 10k | Sequel to the ravi fic, Established Buddie, Secret Relationship and only Ravi knows, Ravi/OMC (Sebastian ily) Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars | T | 20k | Ravi and Hen scheme to expose secret relationship Buddie, post-bridge collapse, Miscommunication, Scheming with Henren

@cal-daisies-and-briars @doveious @queerpanikkar @hoediaz @bipitybopitydoo @strawberryspence @thetalee @to-be-a-dreamer @rainbow-nerdss @exhuastedpigeon @fruitsdontknow

@waveridden @chromatophorica @vgreysoncellars @sammyunhinged @likeshipsonthesea @shelfthe-reader @harpermiller @thirteenredvampirebites

⭐️ i apologize if you are not tagged as one of the writers for these works - lmk if i missed your @ so i can credit you 😊

⭐️ if you would like to be tagged in part 2 of my ravi fics (or my upcoming albert and may fic compilation) tag or comment below!!

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Even More Dead Boy Detectives Fic Recs

I've discovered some amazing new authors since my last post! And writers I've already recced have published more great stories So here's another fic rec post!

Who? You mean your teammate in the Codependency World Cup? (series) by RoseGanymede95

I couldn't chose! They're all great! Basically a series of Edwin and Charles through the years and on cases pre-show. It scratches that adjusting-to-being-dead/newly-escaped-from-Hell itch and the authors writing is magic! It also fleshes out a really interesting conflict in the payneland dynamic: Charles' drive to protect Edwin at all costs clashing with Edwin's guilt over putting Charles at risk/depriving him of some ideal afterlife. Parts one and four also introduces Constantine/Johanna and part three revolves around an absolutely gut-wrenching temporary break-up. 😢

In Hell I'll Be in Good Company by laylabinx

Charles rescuing Edwin from Hell does not go smoothly. Just. Bucketloads of Trauma for both of them. And for you, the Reader. It's so good though!

your fangs in my neck (like an anchor like a vow) by shadowquill17

Vampire Edwin AU! It's great because it combines the (homo)eroticism of vampiric feeding with Charles' whole bisexual crisis and post-confession Edwin worrying about making Charles uncomfortable. Also Charles is some kind of demigod/immortal agent of divine vengeance which is an AMAZING detail and I desperately want to see some fanart!

The same author's ongoing story to the pain is also excellent though very angsty (cw temporary character death). I'm anxiously waiting for an update!

To Memory Now I Can't Recall by engineering_madonna

This is an amnesia fic and the most recent in an established relationship series. The first two installments feature the boys getting together and navigating their new relationship, so pulling the old 'character A forgets their whole romantic relationship with character B' trope hits especially hard! The whole series is lovely, but I am WEAK for temporary-amnesia.

Lemonade & Sunrises by paraph

A Quiet Place AU! The boys are alive, but they're the only ones. Very bleak but in a way that makes me want more!

1999 au (series) by websters_lieb

The boys figure their shit out in the 90s. Also, Edwin gets to read Maurice and queer theory. The cases in both stories are compelling and the author's writing and characterisation of the boys are excellent.

I also recommend offer me that deathless death which is about the boys' first meeting, Charles' funeral and the birth of the agency.

if I could reach the stars (i'd give them all to you) by ObsessedWithFandom

Charles falls first, Edwin falls harder. This is an AU of the author's excellent Charles' bisexual awakening fic, which I also highly recommend. It has lovely OCs and Charles having a sweet little friendship/romance with the boy he saved in canon, which actually makes his death a whole lot more tragic.

Came up from that lake of fire by ghostinthelibrary

Charles and Edwin get caught escaping Hell and promise to capture a demon-eating ghost called The Deathless in exchange for their freedom. With the added twist that they get to be alive again! An exciting case, high stakes and all the alive-again culture shocks and emotional/interpersonal drama you could ask for.

gig officially gigged by laiqualaurelote

Band AU! It shouldn't work but it does. Which might also be an in-universe review for the band tbh. Idk, I loved Edwin's massive obscure musical instruments and Charles being his unpaid roadie. Peak Found Family Feels.

No Rehearsing It, No Reversing It by DontOffendTheBees

Charles overthinks being in love with Edwin, my beloved. This time with increasingly flimsy pretexts for why they NEED to kiss. Just perfect Idiots in Love, no notes.

The Case of David Bowie's Made up Sexuality by williamvapespeare

The agency attempt to help a living lesbian couple deal with a haunting. Meanwhile, Charles struggles through his bisexual (re)awakening. With bonus past (living) Charles no-homo-ing himself to the nth degree. Pure of heart, dumb of ass, indeed.

The lamps are going out by CasiHuman

Vengeful Spirit Edwin AU! Has some interesting ghost lore and Edwin being convinced his touch is painful to Charles (love that trope!). Also features some of the author's adorable/hilarious fanart at the end.

just frame the halves (and call them brothers) by Anonymous

Crystal stumbles upon the ghost of Edwin's older brother, who hires the agency to free him and his platoon from the battleground they've been haunting. Case fic with interesting details about Edwin's family life and an awkward as hell family reunion.

the case of the very long ferry ride by obsceme

Sex pollen but with skin hunger, so it's more touching turned making out and hand jobs in a bathroom. Interesting use of ghost lore and it's cute and well written.

Form 239, Schedule L by sanctuary_for_all

Charles Rowland's Love Language is Acts of Service: The Fic. So many feels! Plus Afterlife worldbuilding and some quality Night Nurse rep.

don't go sharing your devotions (lay all your love on me) by Hephanna

The boys and Crystal accidentally summon an alternate universe version of Charles. He's very... handsy. Charles being jealous of himself is objectively hilarious and it looks like it could be heading towards throuple territory. Possibly even a foursome, if alternate Edwin figures out parallel universe travel. Which he probably will.

Still a Better Lovestory by Vamillepudding

Hanahaki disease! Charles is on the case but Edwin's being weirdly uncooperative about his own curse. I loved the worldbuilding (there's a whole sisterhood of washerwomen!) and the angst, plus the writing is excellent.

The author has also written Eternal Sunshine, in which Edwin is cursed to feel no love of any kind. It makes for an interesting character study, contrasting cursed Edwin, his public reserve and his actual personality.

[ultimate-marysue]

How I feel my Batfam ships may or may not have children (please don't take me seriously I just need wholesomeness):

Dickkory: multiple bio kids, I'm pretty sure this is canon in some future/alternative universes. I think DC should set Kori free on a PTA meeting with no one explain to her the absurd social rules Karens set. The shitty mothers would hate her because she's over here, playing dumb on purpose until they're forced to admit they're just being annoying/egocentric and not actually asking to better their kid's education. Also, career day would be crazy considering Dick changes jobs every few months to get involved into whatever business he's investigating. Like, one year he's a cop, next he's a super model, next he's a college professor somehow. Kori thinks it's really funny so she insists on Dick being the one to go.

Dickbabs: they either don't have kids (just adopt a bunch of rescues) or maybe have one adoptive kid. Other than Cass who is Babs daughter I don't care what anyone thinks. Just Dick, Barbara and Barbara's daughter who is also Dick's sister. Also, Babs got lucky with Cass being homeschooled, the second she has to deal with the school system she's on the phone with the president blackmailing him to fix it. Easy to say, Dick deals with school exclusively from them on.

BabsDinah: they're the lesbian aunts (that end up doing a lot of the parenting because they can't help themselves). Like, neither of them would really want to have kids of their own, but the second a young vigilante with a shit ton of issues gets dropped in their doorstep it's on. Like, officially they'd be mentors, but they all see each other as family.

Stephcass: Cass is a ticking bomb, she's going to find an ex-murderer kid in need of guidance and just bring them home. Steph is not thrilled at first because they're so young still until she realizes "oh wait no, we're like, adult adults now" and then she has a crisis (unrelated to the child). Also Steph would love love to prove she's better than her father (but would be terrified of messing up). At first they're really chill but soon enough they turn it into a competition with the other Bats. Not a competition between their kids, mind you ("no Cass, that's bad parenting") but a competition of who's the best parent. Jason is terrified of them, but the rest are absolutely down.

Jayroy: asides from our beautiful wonderful and just overall fantastic Lian Harper, I think they might end up adopting some kids. What can I say? I think Jason should have Bruce's adoption gene, but specially for kids in dangerous/hard situations. I'm talking the older kids that never get adopted or younger kids with some sort of disability that need extra accomodations. I think Jason would try very hard to avoid them being vigilantes at least until they're 18. Roy is more chill with vigilantism because well, Lian turned out fine, but he respects Jason's opinion. Most important, no child of his is going to be a Robin to Bruce fucking Wayne. Also, everyone in the PTA would love them, they'd be super involved and Jason would make sure to bribe the appropriate people with muffins.

TimKon: test tube baby, not on purpose though. Like, I don't see Tim as someone actively wanting kids (especially not biological ones) and Kon wouldn't want his kid having to face the problems he did. But like, if Cadmus pulls some weird shit and there's a super baby for the taking, they would both want to make sure they give him the most loving upbringing possible. Another option is Tim accidentally creating their baby while trying to clone Kon while he was dead. That one's plausible and has a lot of angst hurt/comfort potential. Also, Teen Dad Tim after being extremely parentified during his early teens taking care of Bruce (while grieving everyone!) is evil , but a compelling kind of evil. Like a trainwreck you can't look away from.

TimBer: dual income no kids kinda queers. They're over here taking their various nephews to Olive Garden and Disneyland only to drop them off and go live their lovely stress free lives. They may adopt a kid, but that would be only when they really settled down. Let Tim enjoy his 20s (if he ever gets there) my boy has been through enough.

Dukeizzy: again, maybe it's because Duke's still pretty young so he hasn't showed much interest or inclination toward parenting, but I don't have a lot of info to go with. Personally either Dual income "take the kids to do airsoft" kinda uncle/aunt, I can see both of them being really good at giving advice to younger vigilantes (the whole situation of We Are Robin gives you a lot of insight in the power of child vigilantes separated from any mentors, so they're in a particular good spot to mediate between the kids and adults). In the case of them having kids, I think they should inherit Dukes autism (I love that headcanon) and both he and Izzy would be those parents making damn sure their kids get the accommodations they need specially at school. If their kids choose to become vigilantes you bet they're gonna be unionized.

Also, I don't have any particular ship for Damian but you bet that if that boy ever becomes a parent they'd be the softest, sweetest father in the world.

[softantlers]

one of the things i'm always going to be bummed about with regard to adult timeline lottie is the way she was turned into this neoliberal wellness guru when we literally could have it ALL. now i understand that there probably isn't even room for this kind of representation in mainstream television bc writers are cowards & also that there's a sort of beauty in what they did put forward but hear me out--

i wanted lottie to have been institutionalized and to have been PISSED about it. i wanted her to have defected from society at large & reached for all the post-capitalism & anarchist social positions she could. i wanted her to have read "family abolition" by me o'brien and deeply fucked with it. i wanted her to be living off the grid in an actual intentional community--not the granola shit we saw--being fucking dirty and tending to the land and living on a commune amassed of not-up-to-code cabins and rigged out RVs. i want lottie INTEGRATED, not just a leader. i want her talking schizophrenics off ledges and helping the local dykes reconcile a breakup. i want lottie deeply invested in understanding how the outside world marginalizes people of color, people with disabilities, queer and trans people, etc. & i want her to be PISSED about it.

when the yellowjackets come, i want it to feel like a true invasion. i want them to feel absolutely dysphoric about their put together made up lives as they look around them. i want them to feel like invaders-- of modernity, of capitalism, even if they don't have the words for it. i want natalie to be calling bullshit, to be hissing at lottie about whether her fucking cronies know she's a rich girl & for lottie to admit--venomous--that she's been disowned and off the grid for years. i want natalie to be so fucking angry about that because here she's been trying her best, in and out of rehab, to live in the real world & here's lottie--who has everything, all the money, all the everything at her disposal--rejecting that world natalie has tried so hard to be apart of. i want them to finally fuck about the fact that lottie was right when she said neither of them have homes.

shit, i want taissa to learn the power of leadership in community & to realize that her ambitions toward being a senator were misled & that real change isn't solely dependent on votes and campaign strategies but how you can actualize better living in your immediate community right now. i want van to talk to some chronically ill dykes and to realize that maybe she doesn't actually have to die alone like she thought she did. i want her to tell tai she's staying.

fuuuuck, i want shauna and lottie to have it out. i want lottie to call shauna's family a fraud & to laugh at how shauna thought she was different & superior for her white picket fence and for shauna to literally be about to beat the shit out of her again, only for lottie to shove her to the ground and hiss that she's not the girl she was back in the fucking woods.

i want misty to learn the power of being in community without transaction & manipulation and i want her to become invested in staying because this is the first time she hasn't had to beg and plead for people to take a genuine interest in her. this is the first time people haven't considered her disposable & not worthy of their attention.

and i want this to be such a fucking insidious thing as all of the yellowjackets become wrapped up in "is this real?" as psychosis looms as a backdrop. could this be real? could all the pain and everything that has kept them so ragged since the wilderness, could this be the solution?

and when it all comes apart and the commune gets disbanded, i want it to feel like rescue. i want them to be kicking and screaming when the authorities force them back into their nuclear families (or total isolation), back into their hustle for money and jobs, back into the expectation of a society that will never understand this kind of trauma. i want them to be devastated that they were saved.

i want them to feel the violence of going back to their lives like a plane crash.

[rustyarcade]

Fishbride hcs? 👀👉👈

The long awaited……

Fishbride Headcanons!

Nina fell first, but Bride fell harder

Both of them tried really hard to suppress their feelings for each other. The Bride suppressed since her last long term love related fiasco (she had several hookups/situationships throughout the years). Nina suppressed since she didn’t know the first thing about being in a relationship and any love related attempt quickly went south.

Bride had confessed about her feelings to Phosphorus who constantly teased her about it. Everytime Nina passed by, he’d elbow Bride playfully and try to be her wing man (which she did not appreciate)

“Hey Nina, cute shirt, is it new?” “It’s the same prison shirt I always wear?” “Yeah well Bride said that you looked really good in it, huh Bride? “I’m gonna kick your ass so hard your flames are going to extinguish.”

Nina told her feelings about the Bride to G.I. Robot who unfortunately/accidentally told the Bride all about it.

“Hello, commander! I was just discussing with Nina about new strategies and tactics to kill Nazi enemies! But she did not seem to have much interest in our conversation. All she could speak about was how lovely you are and how she cares for you deeply. Even more than a friend. I find it quite queer that someone could be so disinterested in slaughtering Nazis. I hate to suggest the notion, but do you suppose… she could be on their side?”

Bride confronted Nina about this and she was the first to admit her feelings. She was a nervous wreck throughout it.

Bride very nonchalantly replied to Nina that she had been feeling the same way about her.

Their first “I love you”’s and kiss were on a mission.

It seems as if the battle that was set before them could have been their last ones so they stayed very close the night before. Bride opted to sleep on a cot next to Nina’s bath bed.

After they said their goodnight, Nina softly whispered “I love you” while quietly sobbing. The Bride sat up and Nina did the same instinctively.

The Bride reached her hand towards Nina’s wet face and pulled her in for a gentle longing kiss.

Also Bride likes to sneak Nina out so they can go on dates during their downtimes on missions. Nina always protests, but ends up having a wonderful time.

Bride also likes to kiss Nina’s helmet when she’s wearing it even though Nina finds it silly to do so.

As I mentioned before, Bride is incredibly protective of Nina (especially since her “incident”). Nina will tell her to lay off every now and then, but she does admit she loves all the attention she gives her.

Bride calls Nina “babe”, “my Nina”, or “cariño”.

Nina calls Bride “love” or “my Bride”.

And ofc, “fish” and “softie”

They don’t use pet names very often, especially not in public. They’re usually reserved for private more tender moments.

Bride’s love language is acts of service, gift giving, and words of affirmation.

Nina’s love language is quality time and gift giving.

Bride and Nina eventually were able to bunk together.

Nina secretly longs for a domestic life with the Bride… but she knows she’ll probably never get it due to their circumstances. But she daydreams about it constantly. Living together, filing their taxes together, marrying each other, having a family…

Bride hadn’t felt this kind of love in decades and Nina is excited yet anxious to jump into this kind of love for the first time with someone she cares about so much :’(

So I’m a big fankid fan and I like the idea of them having their own biological kids somehow, but in my personal headcanons, they “adopt” a monster kid

Basically she’s a little gargoyle girl that’s like 6-7 years old that they rescue from a mission. (if you’re interested in learning more abt her, pls lmk cuz I wanna share her so bad)

Part 2? 👀 You let me know! And don’t be afraid to share your headcanons too!

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom. TW: suicide thoughts.

John’s War

When it begins, it’s subtle. A flutter in his stomach, which later turns into an ache in his heart. He knows it’s wrong, and he desperately tries to fight it. It’s like a war, and he is the only participant. 

John’s been in love many times. Audrey was the first, Bethany the last. And it’s been fine. Normal. Girls seem to like him. He’s got quite the reputation by the time he’s reached sixteen.

***

It all started to crumble when his sister, Harry, came out as a lesbian at fourteen. Their parents had been livid, but Harry came prepared and was totally unfazed. She’d even arranged to stay at her girlfriend’s family, fully aware that her own mum and dad would kick her out if she didn’t retract and started to act normal.

***

Lance was half American, half British. He and his mother had recently moved back to London after almost twenty years in America. The moment John laid his eyes on Lance, the fluttering began. Lance looked like a film star. Golden, curly hair, green eyes, androgyne features, a slender body, strong hands, long fingers. He was everything John wasn’t. Gay, for starters. And he wanted John of all people.

Words John’s father used on such people, played on repeat in his mind:

Faggot. Queer. Degenerate.

John tried to tell Lance, he was straight, but there was no denying how much John wanted Lance to kiss and touch him. His penis reminded him repeatedly and inconveniently every so often of that particular fact.

“John. Stop this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Lance whispered softly and kissed John’s neck. “Haven’t you heard of bisexuality?”

***

Running away to Afghanistan was the only way forward for John when he couldn’t rescue Lance after his overdose. He felt the need to atone for his lack of observation. 

How had he not seen the self-destructing path Lance was heading down? He was a bloody doctor, for Christ’s sake! Had he been in denial about that too? Didn’t he want to believe that such a talented man Lance turned out to be, could choose to destroy himself just because he failed the interview for the main role in a West End play?

“I’m sorry, darling, but there’ll be other roles. New chances. No one gets them on the first try, surely,” John had tried to reassure his lover, but to no avail.

So, there he was. In Afghanistan where danger lurked around every corner. John was quite startled that he enjoyed the danger so much. He felt alive, thrilled, his broken heart notwithstanding. 

And then, another man invaded his thoughts, and eventually his bed. Major James Sholto.

***

Mike Stamford had never seen a more broken man in his life than John Watson, as he limped past the bench, where he was sitting thinking about Sherlock's words from earlier: 

“Who would want me for a flatmate? I’m a difficult man at best. People hate being around me. Can you imagine someone actually living with me? Who is alive themselves. No, Mike. There exists no such human, I assure you.”

“John! John Watson!” he called out. 

When John just gave him a blank stare, Mike sighed and introduced himself. The response was insulting to say the least. No “oh, nice to see you again, mate,” or “what have you been up to?” There was…nothing.

“Who has left you heartbroken, John?” Mike didn’t say and let John walk away without having said a word.

***

After his meeting with Mike, John finds himself outside Barts hospital. He’s got fond memories from his practise here. With Mike. He winces when he reminisces how rude he was to the jovial man. But it couldn’t be helped. John’s a broken man in so many ways, and he just wants to be left alone. He looks up. Wonders how it would feel to stand on the edge of that roof. Would he dare to jump off it if the opportunity arose? He’s never been afraid of heights. And he longs for the pain to subside. The emotional pain. The pain that scars his heart.

Time eludes him. Why are his knees hurting? He opens his eyes. Is he kneeling on the pavement? Apparently. When did that happen? How long? His thoughts stop abruptly when a warm hand is placed on his good shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

A deep baritone. John perceives a posh accent. The warmth from the man’s hand travel down his spine like lava. 

Radiant. Alluring. Dangerous. 

He lifts his head. At first glance, the man could be Lance’s twin. But then, John realises that it’s only the curly hair and height they have in common. This man’s hair is almost black with tinges of auburn. His eyes are blue, but also green and blue green. The colours are constantly shifting. They’re mesmerising. John wants to drown himself in them.

John stands. He still hasn’t said a word. The man hands him his cane and speaks again.

“Afghanistan or Iraq?”

For the first time in years John’s first response isn’t to flee. Instead, he straightens his back, lifts his chin and asks:

“How? Tell me.”

The flicker of surprise, quickly followed by insecurity on the man’s face, makes John realise that this can be, if he lets it, a new beginning.

“Go on,” John prompts.

When the man speaks again, John is lost. An ease sets within him, and his heart stops cracking.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

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[animefeminist]

Kamikaze Girls: An alternative and queer retrospective

Light spoilers for Kamikaze Girls

Ah, Kamikaze Girls. I’ve shouted a lot in reaction to various Discotek rescues, from Gunbuster to Berserk among others, but nothing had me screaming and shouting around the room like the Kamikaze Girls announcement. I never imagined that Discotek would ever license one of my favorite movies, let alone the movie that completely changed the course of my life, and continues to help me reflect with every watch. The film was formative to me in my high school years, and rewatching it recently with the Discotek release made me realize the impact it had on my gender, my sexuality, my friendships with others, my self-expression, and self-acceptance.

For those unfamiliar, let me get you situated. Kamikaze Girls is a coming-of-age comedy film about two teenage girls in the rural town of Shimotsuma in Ibaraki Prefecture. Momoko, a lolita with a very dysfunctional family with a heart only reserved for fashion brand Baby The Stars Shine Bright, meets Ichiko, an intimidating bosozoku girl with a bike so modified you can’t tell it’s a moped. Ichiko admires Momoko’s defiant independence, even as Momoko is ungrounded and detached; and Momoko learns to admire Ichiko’s dedication to her individuality, even if it drives her up a wall. As they learn more about each other, Momoko and Ichiko grow and change one another as they journey through unrequited love, teenage rebellion, life-changing opportunities, working through their faults, and embracing themselves even more than before. Enhanced by iconic J-Pop and J-Rock music of the era from artists like Tommy Heavenly6, an original soundtrack by Yoko Kanno, super-saturated visuals, and utterly unpredictable yet great acting, you can see why it was impactful for many viewers and myself.

Read it at Anime Feminist!