#queer ally cousin

[ravenwraithe]

my cousin doesn't even try anymore he rattles off a random bunch of letters like a otp generator and i just know

why do cishet people say lgbtq like that

[spacephrasing]

hello sorry if this is really long and tmi but besties i need some advice

[alex-the-polykin]

Less then like an hour ago, I was showing my great-grandma a cool fidget worm thing I got when I was on a trip with my partner and their family from a few years ago.

And she was like "Oh, your lover?" When I told her who I went with, INFRONT OF MY STEPGRANDPA, BIO GRANDMA, COUSIN, AND DAD.

And I was just like "yeah, them 😃👍" and continued talking but I was kinda freaking out???

[death-himself]

i’ve been reconnecting with my family in the philippines recently and she sent a photo of all my cousins that are now a decade older than the last time i saw them and i can’t tell if it’s the filipino vibes, the gen z swag or if my american brain just thinks they all dress queer but i’m now on a mission to get one of my cousin’s discord profiles

i know she has one i can feel it i just got her facebook messenger from my aunt so i’m one step closer

[batboyblog]

hey thanks for not being super doomer over these anti-trans bills. i kept on seeing so many people being defeated over them and it messed up my mental health for a while, like nothing could be done. but you did bring up some good points and shed some light onto people who are actively fighting for us so i thank you again

The queer movement, in the US any ways, has always been cyclical, we make big gains and push forward, then there's a super scary backlash. We're right now at the hight of a really scary backlash thats focused on trans people in particular but is anti-queer more generally. It's intense but its important to remember these backlashes don't generally last very long, they are scary, but each time they've happened, the mid to late 1970s, the 1980s, the early 2000s, the tide has gone out and gay rights, LGBT rights, and society's acceptance of LGBT people has been farther along than before they have never ever managed to turn us back in the years since Stonewall.

And as intense and scary as this is in some ways it's better than last time, when I was a gay teenager. in those days... in 2004 and 2008 the Democrats running for President were uniformly against gay marriage (the big issue of that time) they were trying to get us to settle for the not marriage alternative of civil unions. Only a handful of Congresspeople (some of them gay themselves) in DEEP! blue districts dared to support gay marriage outright. Today the Democratic Party is the most pro-LGBT major political party in the world, you had the President and every Democrat of any note making statements for TDOV a few days ago and you're not seeing even red state Democrats back down and agree to be "a little transphobic" for votes. It felt a lot more lonely last time when it was us and a handful of allies fighting the backlash with most of the Democratic Party on the side lines handwringing and saying "well can't you wait?"

any ways this movement is and will always be a struggle, the rights we've won, the acceptance we've received has never just been given, it's been won, through hard work. Everyone has to dedicate themselves to work in their corner of the earth to the best of their abilities and to push themselves past what they think they can do. That means hooking up with LGBT rights groups on the ground to protest, to rally, to try to support and comfort those queer people who are down and out in whatever way right now, it means digging deep and having hard and awkward conversations with the people in your life, if you're gay or trans or whatever and you got that one aunt/uncle/cousin/whoever in your life that loves you to bits but you know still votes Republican and you just don't bring it up because you don't want to hurt the relationship... have the talk keep having the talk as many times as you need to. Tell your grandparents if they don't know, tell your parents (if its safe or if you don't need their money any more) tell co-workers who don't know etc, they vote for us 2 to 1 if they know they know one of us. Finally register to vote, make sure all your friends particularly if you're young are registered and vote, vote in every election. Trust me it's AMAZINGLY easy to find the email of candidates for school board or city council and it's amazingly easy to ask questions. Last election I emailed every school board candidate about Holocaust education, and the state rep candidate about trans rights, she wrote me back a lovely note and mailed be a sticker she'd picked up from a trans rights group. It's amazingly easy to get involved, I volunteered with my local democrats for one election and they offered me the #3 spot in their local party, I have the phone numbers of my state rep and state senator without trying really, you can get in the room with these people, with candidates for governor, congress, I have my picture with 3 US Presidents? its not hard to do, and you can use chances like that to talk to them and show them your humanity and leave an impression that really matters in the long run.

sorry to RAMBLE but it's important that everyone do their part, pick a little something, a project to push this thing forward, people doom scrolling, particularly posting about how its hopeless does not help, posting in general doesn't help much even if its not doomerism, I think in the years after the anti-gay marriage Bush backlash we got very online and we got very "progress just happens" and a lot of people fell out of the habit or came of age without the habit of protest and without a local queer community or local progressive community and its very important in the face of this to find or build those and also understand in some places its gonna be years of work to get where we want to go, but we will and it'll be worth all the work.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

The King's Hound Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@the-kingshound

Synopsis:

You are the King’s spouse, his right and left hand, the unstoppable executor of his will. Your name is whispered by enemies and allies with fear and respect alike, some says it’s your arm that bears the weight of the entire kingdom.

They call you the King’s hound. It started as a way to taunt you but it’s not that far away from the truth. Your loyalty is blind, your devotion absolute. The King’s vision is your vision.

Your name will forever mark history alongside theirs.

But for now, you are being shipped to your betrothed, alone and powerless on your way to Camelot.

As the seventh child of the Venegard House, you’ve always had little to look forward to other than an arranged marriage to achieve a political alliance.

That’s exactly why, after your parents lost the rebellion against King Arthur, you were the one sent to him as a sign of newfound peace.

You don’t know what awaits you now, but after you Camelot will never be the same.

Review:

The Good: The project is 18+, and the writing is very well done. It just feels quality. Plus the UI and and dark background are classy. The game is Twine, so you get the save functions of Twine and all that jazz. Anyways, descriptions are well done, the worldbuilding is grounded and helps form the politics in-game. It's thought-out and noticeable. The player customization goes hard and you even get the option to play mute! In The King's Hound, you also find a game that provides the LGBTQ+ demographic and FemMC playing community a welcoming and acknowledging home. The descriptions of the fight scenes and battles (like action set pieces) are good and don't leave you scratching your head. The transitions between paragraphs and pages happen naturally and without breaking pace, which shows the talent of a writer that considers their audience. Also, in regards to the King Arthur mythos and worldbuilding done by the author, i just really appreciate the fact that Camelot is Welsh.

It just gives me an idea of how much the author researched or cares about the mythos to give that respect of origin for the story. I had problems with how King Arthur was being super nice at first, but the author recently stated in a post that Arthur was acting in such a manner because he is deliberately trying to be the opposite of King Uther!

And that in the future, the work will offer more text to reveal that to us, the player.

The Bad: I wouldve liked being able to marry a cousin, niece, sister, or even daughter of King Arthur (or genderbender him) but that is literally my only complaint as a straight dude tryna self insert. The author tells you explicitly that you are marrying the king. If the author decides not to, as is their right and vision, I have no problem whatsoever. I still think the work is well written, and has many elements that i personally fuck with (low fantasy, grounded narrative, adult themes) The fact that i wish the author could change this, is only because i like the work so much. Instead, in this playthrough King Arthur will find that the MC practices

The Ugly: The MAP. But that's only because my history buff mind thinks of the British Isle when hearing these names and when i saw the map it physically gave me whiplash. But youre making your own version of the story, so bully!

The Aftermath: I know this game isnt catered towards me as a straight dude. It is a proud queer game with quality writing, that'd also do really well for the FemMC readers. I would recommend this game to anyone who wants a low fantasy medieval setting, with good writing, and grounded narratives that isn't a straight dude's traditional power fantasy.

Next playthrough, ima be a mute straight girl thatll hoe around King Arthur's court out of sheer spite

^Marci from Dota: Dragon Blood

[waltywhitey]

🌟🌟 How the Breaking Bad crew would react to you coming out as trans 🥰🏳️‍⚧️🌟🌟

Notes: hi!!!! I'm a new writer and I just wanted to start with some breaking bad and better call Saul headcanons! Hope you enjoy!!!

Warnings: none

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✨ Walter White ✨

🔆 Apprehensive at first since he doesn't really understand gender

🔆 Grew up old fashioned but will eventually come around

🔆 He's a teacher so he has to be understanding and use your correct pronouns

🔆 He further explores LGBTQ+ issues and gender rights and is a proud ally

🔆 He attends Albuquerque's pride festival

✨ Jesse Pinkman ✨

🔆 He's your best friend since moving to Albuquerque

🔆 Once you tell him, he gets really excited about learning this

🔆 He's so happy that he shows you his top scars in solidarity

🔆 Jesse never told anyone that he's trans too -- bonding you both closer together

✨ Saul Goodman ✨

🔆 Doesn't understand pronouns or being gay

🔆 Admits that he was gay for a bit in highschool

🔆 He'll refer to you with your preferred pronouns so he doesn't lose you as a client

🔆 He will protect you against hate crimes

🔆 He will also fight for your right to gender affirming care

🔆 He also wears a trans pin next to his blue ribbon to tell other potential clients that he supports all the queers

✨ Gus Fring ✨

🔆 You are one of his employees and confide in him that another coworker called you a transphobic slur

🔆 Gus does not allow discrimination in the work place and has the coworker fired

🔆 He consoles you in his office and asks what your preferred pronouns are and promises to make sure everyone refers to you as such

🔆 During June, Gus has a special trans meal that comes with a free trans flag and all proceeds go to an LGBTQ+ organization

🔆 Los Pollos Hermanos also has a float in the Albuquerque pride festival

✨ Mike Ehrmantaut ✨

🔆 Silence

✨ Skyler White ✨

🔆 You're best friends with her son, Walt Jr.

🔆 She's seen you grow up so when you come out as trans she's a bit shocked

🔆 At first she'll ask how you know and forbid Flynn from hanging out with you

🔆 Her son bashes her for being transphobic and says that he is going to run away

🔆 Skyler calms down and thinks things through

🔆 Eventually she promises to not be transphobic around you

🔆 At first she'll struggle with your preferred pronouns but she'll get it

🔆 Over time she'll become an ally and be accepting when Walt Jr. comes out as bi

✨Marie Schrader✨

🔆 You come out to Marie and she is very supportive

🔆 Marie stole your goddamn estrogen pills

✨ Hank Schrader ✨

🔆 You're one of Marie's coworkers and best friend

🔆 She invites you over for dinner where you admit to them both that you are trans

🔆 Marie is very supportive but Hank looks at you with a face of confusion and disgust

🔆 He doesn't believe in more than two genders and that you can be a different gender than what you were born as

🔆 He refuses to use your preferred pronouns and tells Marie that he doesn't want you back in his house

🔆 Hank tells his coworkers about you and Gomez gets on to him for being transphobic

🔆 After awhile Hank is indifferent to you at the least and tries to use your preferred pronouns

🏳️‍⚧️💗 BOUNOS 💗🏳️‍⚧️

✨ Kim Wexler ✨

🔆 At first she'll be confused because she thought you were pansexual

🔆 You'll explain to her that gender and sexuality are different and she'll quickly catch on

🔆 Once you tell her your preferred pronouns, she'll immediately start using them

🔆 She'll research all about LGBTQ+ history and current issues and promises to fight against any hate crime related cases for you

🔆 As she furthers he studies of sexuality and gender, she later comes out as non-binary

✨ Lalo Salamanca ✨

🔆 He finds you hotter

✨ Nacho Varga ✨

🔆 You're a cousin of the Salamancas

🔆 You'll befriend him as he seems like the least menacing of Salamanca's men

🔆 After awhile, you'll come out to him and he'll be shocked at first but then happy

🔆 He congratulates you on this big step and that it wasn't easy coming out to a member of the cartel

🔆 He'll ask what your preferred pronouns are and uses them right away

🔆 He eventually asks you to join his polycule

.

✨ Chuck McGill ✨

🔆 Dies

.

✨ Howard Hamlin ✨

🔆 You work for HHM as a paralegal

🔆 Howard spots the paperwork for a name change on your desk and questions you

🔆 You come out as trans and he'll be gladly shocked

🔆 He'll ask what your preferred pronouns are and enforce them with the whole company

🔆 He'll even offer to drive you down to the court for you to finalize the name change

(Tumblr has a 10 images per post limit I'm sorry Nacho and Howard 💔)

[bairnsidhe]

Hairpins, Safety Pins, and Blue Bracelets.

I know there have been mixed feelings about the recent suggestion from (mostly white women) librals to wear blue friendship bracelets to indicate one did not vote for the Carrot-Color Con-man.

I have heard from those who find it offensive, too little and too late, a form of performative virtue signaling, or an overly political "cosplay of activism". These voices are valid and I respect them. I know many of those blue bracelets will mean nothing but following a trend.

I have also listened to those who really do want some way to tangibly label people who can be resources for at-risk people. Both those who want to offer said service and those who think they may need it. These voices are also valuable, and a visual marker of willingness and ability to lend aid is a good thing. The turban of a Sikh comes to mind as an example.

So how do we balance wanting signals and not wanting to mix them with performative fads?

My friends, I have good news! At-risk subcultures and their allies have been doing similar shit for years. Most of these do not look cutesy or #AestheticGoals, they've been around for ages standing the test of time as the communities that use them weather crisis and catastrophe alike. They're largely non-partisan, having nothing to do with a specific person or administration but instead being about offering safety and acceptance. And they're cheap as shit to get.

Meet the Safety Pin!

During the emergence of punk rock in the late 1970s, safety pins became a big part of the subculture's aesthetic, often for practical reasons (all those ripped jeans gotta stay on somehow!)

Punk as a subculture is very deeply political, with a strong lean towards fighting for the disenfranchised and against oppressors. As a result it is not surprising that at some point, a single safety pin worn conspicuously became a symbol of safety and support for those who need it.

This breached containment into the mainstream in 2016 to combat the rise in racist and xenophobic speech and violence, and at the time got many of the same criticism the bracelets are getting. However, I remember learning as a child in Ye Olden Days to seek a single safety pin on a shirt or strung onto a necklace if I needed help in an alt space. It definitely worked then and could, I believe, work again if we return to the very action oriented definition of safety and support used in the subculture that created it.

Wear the Safety Pin if you can commit yourself to combating threats and providing actionable or tangible support.

Meet the Hairpin!

Not to be confused with their younger cousin the Bobby Pin (diagram above from HumblebeeAndMe.com) the hairpin is a loose U shaped pin that holds hair beautifully, but with little security, and may drop out of your hair if you aren't careful.

A "hairpin drop" on the other hand, is a very very old slang term for giving a subtle hint to a person that you are not straight/cis, to determine if the other person is safe to be out to. Just as a fallen hairpin is small and easily discarded, hairpin drops were easily covered over if the test was failed.

After the Stonewall Riots were dubbed "The hairpin drop heard round the world", some queer activists took on literal hairpins as an emblem. While not as common in the last few decades, it could easily be rivived as a more subtle queer pride, and the large gap in popular use would add a layer of smokescreen for those not invested in Queer history.

Wear or display the Hairpin if you are or actively work to protect LGBT+ people

Again, I am not saying not to wear the blue bracelets if you want to. Widespread symbols have their place. I am merely suggesting these as alternatives that may feel more authentic or safer to wear.

[irena-dubrovnaa]

damian and mara/teen titans/demon's fist headcanons because i saw this post and im thinking about them again

this isn't a headcanon this is very canon, they look damn near exactly the same. like could pass for one another with little to no effort

just look at them

they argue literally constantly. it can be THE most benign thing like the exact shade of blue something might be, but it has to be turned into an argument

talia acts like a second parent to mara since it appears her mother isn't in the picture, they were raised like brother and sister

they don't correct people when they're mistaken for twins/siblings

mara's actually pretty fond of damian's friends

damian is still on a first name basis with the demon's fist members and damian and mara make training regimens for both their teams sometimes

the teen titans and demon's fist still can't stand each other but they acknowledge it's good to have each other as occasional allies

nightstorm is the kid of one of the league's top assassins and was trained somewhat alongside damian and mara, the three of them know everything about each other and constantly threaten to expose the stupid ass things they did when they were little

damian and ace do one on one hand-to-hand combat training frequently and one time mara helped damian demonstrate a takedown, that was the first time he realized just how similar they looked and he didn't retain any of the information. he was too busy trying to figure out how their genes were so strong

emiko and mara get along extremely well, she wasn't on the team when the demon's fist was after them but of course being related to damian she knew who she was and decided she was gonna give her a shot at friendship

they're both the queer cousin, damian's bi and mara's a lesbian in my head

mara loves her uncle bruce, she thinks he's ridiculous and kinda stupid but she also thinks he's cool and respects his abilities, as well as how happy he makes her mother figure

mara and emiko "secretly" watch keeping up with the kardashians together. that's already canon on emiko's part

xiomara and mara have some weird gay rivalry going on

[tschulijulesjulie]

I need book recommendations please. I read captive prince and I’m losing my mind.

ooooh gladly!

so first of all, nothing really compares to CaPri, however i do have some - imo - very good recommendations that might have similar vibes.

The Kingdoms by Natasha Pulley - historical (18th and 19th century) Fantasy. Amnesia and time-travelling, with a veeeery Laurent-coded love interest.

The Scottish Boy by Alex De Campi - historical (14th century) Captive/Prisoner and (reluctant) man who has to hold him captive, secret identity, political schemes, revenge, war

Solomons Crown by Natasha Siegel - historical (12th century), Crown Prince of England (Richard Lionheart) and King of France (Philipp II) falling in love despite their countries being enemies, political schemes, strained family relationship to the point of going to war against family members, allies to enemies to allies again

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland - not my personal favourite but still good, Fabtasy, outstanding non-european-centric world-building, anxiety rep, queer-normative, Disgraced Prince and his guard(s) having to uncover a political intrigue that could dethrown his sister, the monarch, nightly shenenigans in taverns while hiding their identity, forced proximity, kinda co-dependent relationship

Winters Orbit by Everina Maxwell - SciFy, Prince has to marry the widow of his cousin for diplomatic reasons who then gets accused of having killed his first husband, political intrigue, past abuse

Fence by CS Pacat and Johanna the Mad - graphic novels, sports (fencing), YA?, might be an entirely different setting but the character dynamics are reminiscent of CaPri/ you can tell Pacats writing

The Aeneid by Virgil - the great Roman epic. to this day im convinced Pacat might have drawn some inspiration from this (or possibly the Odyssee and the Iliad)

I hope that helps. Thank you for your ask!

[sunny-marl]

you can't fucking believe How Many Headcanons i have for this little shit called Julius Oppenheimer Jr., and about his family. and for what. i don't know.

maybe you'll enjoy one or another idfk????

starts with • <- "main" headcanon, not really linked to other with •

starts with "-" or "--" <- "sub" headcanons of main headcanon

• Mrs. O.'s full name is Jean Mary Oppenheimer. (maiden name is Morgan!!). Seniour is. just Julius Oppenheimer Senior. 👍

- Julius' family, doesn't matter what side, mostly only calls him nicknames and stuff. mostly Jul, Junior, Lil' Julius/Jul, Jul/Julius Junior. they mostly call Senior just Julius.

-- his mom almost only calls him Junior, besides his full name when she's like angry, or stuff like sweetie and dear. she called him Baby Boy a lot when he was a baby/little kid 🫶 she still does it sometimes, and Julius gets embarrassed Every Single Time.

-- his dad mostly calls him Son, My (Little) Guy, Little man and Jul. Young man soooometimes.

•Julius' maternal grandmother is a cat :•]. i'm thinking of her name being like. Felicity.... she's an old Siamese Cat. i'll draw her sometime but basically she's white with small stripes in the dark areas(not including her Old Grandma clothes)

- Jean's fuse moves just like of a cat's actually!!! Senior doesn't have this "tail language" thing, but it does light up when he's really mad.(Jean's doesn't lit without an external force at all)

-- i think it'd be cute if Julius had his own fuse language 😳. like like wagging when happy and shit. he'd absolutely hate it. but idk if I'll actually make it part of my gumball art or not 😭😭😭😭

• when Julius was very young his body was basically. big round head and little bean body. it slowly changed to his current Funny Stick Body with time. i think it'd funny if in da futura gets kind of a upsidedown isosceles-like triangle body + his round. hips?????? he has now idk 👍

- also talking about Julius as a baby. since that time he was a Little Devil. he was not only a troublemaker, but also a drama king and lied way too much(sometimes he didn't even have to lie and lied anyway). if he didn't bite someone at least once, or had a full tantrum in daycare at least 2 times a week. Something Was Wrong.

-- his parents ARE the ones that Will show you his baby photo album even if he begs them not to. he looks like he's crying and/or pissed on most of them. tehehehe.

• Julius is friends with Rotten Cupcake since little kids. and nowadays they're still very close. Evil Besties!!

• (HUMAN. AU.) Senior is mixed, american black + european. he's quite dark in skin, curly hair(that isn't very noticeable since he combs it with lots of hair. clay?) while Jean is very pink-ish pale and has straight hair.

- Julius is almost as pale as his mother. He does have curls in his hair but since he gets it buzzed almost making him Bald it's not very noticeable (he has a rat tail but it's always braided)

• Jean's family side is basically all catholic. Sr.'s have a bunch of family members with different christian religions.

- Julius Jr's parents themselves aren't much of "stricly christians", even if they have some "catholic tendencies" n stuff. Jean's has more of this "tendencies" than Seniour though haha. these two are lgbt allies!!! from a bit of many insistence from Rotten and Julius trying to justify why being Queer. isn't a real sin.

•Julius' uncles and aunts (2 bio uncles from Jean, 3 bio uncles + 2 bio aunts from Sr.'s) that Did have Kids have more than one. there's like two that didn't have any?. sooo yeag he's the only cousin that is an Only Child 😁

[knight-of-skyloft]

So convinced that the enlightened Truthwatchers are a metaphor for being religious and queer. Like

"If I'm a blessing, Father, how can we reject the others? How can we condemn the one who made them?" (RoW ch. 54)

And

"She creates in us a faction loved by neither men nor Odium. No home. No allies. She might be destroyed by either. We will need more. Like you and like me. Together." (RoW ch. 54)

And

It was just that... well, Dalinar was so accustomed to being able to do whatever he wanted. He had written a storming book. Renarin held no illusions that would be similarly accepted. He and his father might be of similar rank, from the same family, but Renarin had never been able to navigate society like Dalinar did. True, his father at times "navigated" society like a chull marching through a crowd, but people got out of the way all the same.

Not for Renarin. (RoW ch. 54)

And

You can't spend forever floating between worlds, Cousin, [Jasnah] thought. Eventually you'll need to decide where you want to belong. Life was so much harder, but potentially so much more fulfilling, when you found the courage to choose. (OB ch. 53)

And l'll leave you with this, from Brandon's statement on his site re: his views on queer rights and his faith.

I recognize that this FAQ entry itself might be unpopular with some of you, as it presents someone walking between two worlds, unwilling to condemn either one.

[wheeloffortune-design]

When you're used to hang out with queer people, the concept of trans and non-binary people becomes just that: people. They become human, with things in their lives, that sometimes are tied to transitioning, sometimes not.

It feels strange to talk to people who do not know trans and nb personally, because even when they're supportive, they don't really get it? And I mean this as a cis woman, who had to learn about the issues my friends face to better help them.

This week, one day I talked to an old friend who was a weird ally, like, they're supportive of rights but caught up in acceptability politics, complaining about how drastic the societal changes are (in language, French doesn't make it easy). Their only exposure to trans and nb people is online, and we know the loudest aren't necessarily the smartest. They don't get that, organically, change and revolution needs loud extreme voices just to make the other demands seem reasonable.

Two days later I met a bunch of people where at least three out of seven were trans, and none of us were straight (as in cishet). The conversation went from complaining about body hair to lack thereof, to trouble at work, politics and wildfires, to end up in DND. People things. It only cemented what I tried to tell my other friend by asking "... but do you know any trans people?".

I think that, and I don't want to talk over trans and nb people, but as a queer person, I think that the awkward allies, the ones that defend our rights but complain about our loudness-- I think we need to keep them. It's often annoying and unpleasant, but they're in higher numbers and when it's a matter of life and death, you can't be picky about your allies. They might change with time and exposure to different realities, or maybe they're just going to meet real people and it won't be just a concept for them, but a colleague, a cousin or an old friend.

I wish everyone had good allies in their lives, or at least some "He's a little confused, but he got the spirit".

[rlyehtaxidermist]

when he was in college, my brother and one of his friends announced their engagement. it was the full rigamarole; professional-looking engagement photos, wedding registry, invitations. this was at the height of when people in our parents' generation believed what they saw on facebook, and didn't really think to check timestamps - even though it was posted on April 1, the sheer scope of the production had most people thinking it was a completely genuine thing.

on April 2, they called off the engagement, not just on account of it being an elaborate April Fools' prank, but because the whole thing had been set up because his friend had wanted to come out as a lesbian to a full audience of midwestern second cousins, and he thought it would be a good bit so he got another friend to do the photos and it just sort of snowballed from there

anyway, this is the story i think of whenever I see people arguing about "what does being a queer ally mean"

[strangestcase]

the one/main thing I don’t get about the transandrophobia discourse is that a lot of the stuff it’s posters posit as “unique transmasc struggles” aren’t really unique yknow. being misgendered no matter what you do, even “playfully”. being affected by misogyny (transfems because they’re women, transmascs because they’re misgendered as such). being demonized within the larger queer community. being snubbed within the trans community if you’re not “good enough”, “quiet enough”, “palatable enough”. being scrutinized for your presentation (if you’re GC you’re sexist, if you’re GNC you’re not really trans, etc) by cis and trans people alike (hello, truscum!). being targeted by TERFs albeit for different reasons (transfems to always be exterminated, transmascs to be converted if possible and exterminated if not). being fetishized. and the shit ass allys. the one unique thing I can see as a transmasc myself is the constant infantilization and mysterious cloak of invisibility thrust into us, which is but the rather milder (but no less unpleasant) cousin of the constant hypervisibility transfems face. while transfems are turned into a boogeywomen and blamed for all that’s wrong with the world (within the queer community as well!), transmascs are reduced to a footnote, a “oh, I didn’t know you could be THAT”, a “who cares”. what bugs me about all this discourse is that a lot of energy could go into fighting that invisibility while uplifting trans women as a True Trans Unity (rather than empty, pithy cries for tolerance and of course the ugly “stop complaining, you should fuck me instead” streak). but instead a worrying amount of discussion about the transphobia faced by trans men and transmascs goes into rather misogynist places and/or pretends things that happen to all trans people are unique to trans men; it’s the odd logic that just because some elements of transmisogyny are unique to trans women, there must always be a male equivalent. And so we get: “why are transfems complaining about the ridiculous amounts of transmisogyny directed at them so much when we too are victims of transphobic abuse? Are they silencing us?” “why can’t we be as visible as trans women are? what do you mean, visibility doesnt equal good publicity?” “I saw this trans woman say she hates men, clearly she’s transphobic because trans men are men” and etc etc etc. dunno where I’m going with this but the moral of the story is that Trans Unity isn’t bitching about mean trans women and then saying you’re an ally, just… fucking listen to trans women and what they have to say about the rest of the trans community and their implicit transphobia, then judge by yourself if they’re being reasonable or not, and, spoiler alert, most of the time they are. and I know most of you want real actual unity and such, which is lovely, but the first step is being sincere . ok bye